Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Luigi creeps down the empty hallway, Poltergust at the ready. He is tense, hands subconsciously squeezing the capturing device's wand at the tiniest sound. The plumber’s anxiety is only partially quelled by the knowledge that help is on the way. Still, he can’t afford to wait until they arrive. Every second that these children are left with the Vitiates is a second too long. 

As Luigi progresses, his mind keeps wandering back to the Toad ghost he fought only minutes prior. The extent of its deterioration was one of the furthest he's ever seen in a Vitiate. In person, at least. The strength of its magic was highly concerning as well. Turning a television into a prison? Manipulating the movie into its own reality? That required a significant amount of power. Luigi shudders to think how much negative energy the Vitiate must have consumed to become so formidable.

Luigi halts mid-step at a loud crash echoing down the adjacent hallway. He sidesteps until he is flush with the wall and peers warily around the corner. About halfway down the hall lies a broken plate; several, to be precise. Numerous dents in the drywall reveal the dishware had been thrown, not dropped. As if to confirm this, another plate smashes into the marred surface, creating yet another abrasion before its remains rain down into the growing pile of ceramic shards. Luigi cranes his neck to see the impromptu projectiles are coming from beyond an archway.

Looks like Koorina had been right about the dining room.

The plumber slowly rounds the corner and slinks down the hall, taking care to avoid stepping on the broken plates. He hugs the wall by the archway as he draws closer. Cautiously, he peeks his head out to get a better look of the room.

It is indeed the dining area, as expected, but the room is so thoroughly trashed it’s barely recognizable. Dishware and cutlery litter the floors (some are even embedded in the walls), and the main dining table is caved inward, completely broken in half. What’s left of the china cabinets lay crumpled in varying states of disrepair. There doesn’t appear to be any surface in the whole room that is free from splintered wood or broken plates and glass. But worse than the condition of the room are the two ghostly occupants.

On the far side of the dining area is a Snifit floating amidst an arsenal of knives and forks. Every now and again they lazily flick an arm toward the wall they are facing, sending one of the utensils at a target that has Luigi’s blood running cold. The Vitiate has cleanly torn a perfect circle out of the wall, and pinned to that cut of drywall is a trembling Paratroopa. The teen is surrounded by embedded cutlery, but as far as the plumber can tell, none have hit their mark. Not from a lack of skill, Luigi grimly notes. A nearly complete outline of silverware encompasses the Paratroopa. With each throw, the border grows, and all while the target is gently rotating.

Toward the center of the room drifts a Lakitu reclining leisurely on its cloud. One hand props up its head while the other loosely clutches a fishing pole construct. Plates orbit around the Vitiate like ceramic moons, a few occasionally launching free from the rotation to target the final occupant of the room. A Toad with a single braid down their back darts frantically around the trashed dining area. Much like the Snifit, Luigi suspects the Lakitu is intentionally missing the teenager. With every near-hit, the poor Toad cries out in alarm and runs in the opposite direction of the strike. When they get too close to one of the other two exits, the Vitiate languidly casts the line of their fishing rod and snags the Toad’s foot. The terrified teen shrieks as they are reeled away from potential freedom and dangled off the ground like a particularly lively piñata.

Luigi has seen enough. “Stop!"

Surprisingly enough, they do. The plates and silverware suddenly still as if frozen in time. All eyes turn to the plumber standing at the ready in the archway.

“Please, let the kids go," Luigi says, taking a cautious step forward with slightly raised hands. “I don’t want to fight you, but if I have to, I will and—"

The plates abruptly drop from the air. Luigi flinches, anticipating a cacophony of ceramic destruction, but just before the dishware hits the ground, they melt into a dark, gooey substance. The sludge lands on the floor with a wet splat and seeps through the cracks in the wooden boards until it is completely out of sight.

“...uh ...okay." Luigi blinks, looking perplexed. “Now, as I was saying—"

“S h h h..." the Lakitu ghost whispers, finger raised to their lips. “Y o u ’ l l   s c a r e   t h e   f i s h."

Luigi does a double take. He isn’t sure what bemuses him more, that the ghost bothered to speak or what the entity said.

“...fish?"

Odd movement suddenly draws the plumber’s eyes to the floor. Something flits in his peripheral, but when he turns his head, there’s nothing there. Was it Luigi’s imagination, or did the ground just... ripple?

Luigi unconsciously takes another step, but instead of solid ground, his foot sinks through the wood like it’s a liquid. He yelps in surprise, arms pinwheeling in an effort to reverse his momentum. The plumber manages to pull back just in time before something leaps from the floor and snaps at where his foot had just been. Luigi is shocked to see it is a construct of a Porcupuffer—one with uncharacteristically sharp teeth. 

So that’s what the nonsense with the plates had been about.

The Lakitu howls with eerie laughter, waving their mortal prisoner tauntingly so they swing like a pendulum. The Porcupuffer construct turns away from Luigi, drawn by the tantalizing movement, and Luigi gapes in horror as several more materialize behind it and swim toward the shrieking Toad. The plumber’s eyes frantically dart around the room, looking for something he can use—a platform, anything! His gaze lands on one of the broken halves of the table that had “drifted” closer following the floor's transformation. It would have to do.

Luigi takes a couple steps back before leaping through the archway's threshold. He easily clears the wood-turned-water and lands on the table. It wobbles dangerously beneath his feet, but he manages to keep his balance. Once Luigi is certain of his stance, he draws his eyes up from his feet only to find the Snifit staring at him. He freezes.

Oh, right, he'd forgotten there were two.

The Vitiate continues to stare at the vulnerable plumber. Luigi slowly reaches back for the Poltergust’s wand, but to his surprise, the entity makes no move to attack. The Vitiate sighs—actually sighs—and even though it’s wearing a mask, Luigi swears it rolls its eyes at him. With a wave of an arm, the Snifit floats away, cutlery and pinned Paratroopa drifting after it. The plumber watches in bewilderment as the ghost exits into the adjacent room.

…okay then.

Threat temporarily averted, Luigi turns his attention back to his current foe. The Porcupuffers are beneath the dangling Toad now, leaping in mad arcs in a fervent attempt to get a taste of their master's bait. To the wailing Toad's credit, they do a remarkable job of swatting the toothy constructs away. One is smacked an impressive distance off, the flailing construct sailing toward the marooned plumber. Luigi wastes no time in vacuuming the sludgy Porcupuffer up. He then puts the flow in reverse, pointing the nozzle in the opposite direction of the Vitiate and pushing his platform into closer range. 

The Lakitu ghost languidly turns its head at Luigi’s approach. They lock eyes, and a chill shoots down the plumber’s spine when the entity suddenly grins. His unease turns to terror as the ghost reels back the fishing rod in an unmistakable gesture, and before Luigi can act, the Lakitu casts its hostage across the room. The Toad lands in the liquidized flooring with a splash, and Luigi can’t help but feel a little nauseated by the sight of the mushroom folk half-submerged in what was supposed to be wooden planks. The Porcupuffers, however, find the sight very appealing. Luigi desperately tries to capture the constructs as they swim after their defenseless prey, but a handful manage to evade the Poltergust’s pull. The plumber reverses the flow once more and rushes to intervene. A Porcupuffer leaps at the Toad with snapping jaws—

—and is caught by another vortex.

Luigi watches as the construct goes flying over the teen's head and disappears down the nozzle of another Poltergust.

A green Poltergust.

Standing in the archway, is none other than Luigi’s gooey doppelgänger. 

“Gooigi!”

The plumber's partner nods in silent acknowledgement as they continue to capture the remaining constructs. To Luigi’s growing relief, he finds that the ghost hunter is accompanied by Pepper. Without waiting for any prompting, the Polterpup leaps into the warped flooring and swims to the Toad's aid. 

The Lakitu scowls at their interference. It rises from its lounging position and stabs the base of the fishing rod into its cloud. No longer encumbered, the ghost lifts both of its hands palms-up and forms two new constructs: a pair of very large Spiny Eggs. 

Luigi and Gooigi exchange a glance.

The entity throws both projectiles at Gooigi's party, but neither strike true. Luigi captures the first on the end of his Poltergust’s nozzle while his partner snags the other. The Vitiate gapes between the two, alarmed by the turn of events, and is too surprised to dodge when the Spiny Eggs are simultaneously launched back. It shrieks as the attack sends it flying into the back wall. When the ghost doesn’t immediately recover, Luigi uses the brief lull to check on the others. 

Pepper has successfully pulled the Toad from the paranormal hazard and Gooigi is helping to remove the fishing line from the teen's foot. The ghost hunter looks up when they feel a tug on Luigi’s end of their mental connection.

“Thanks for the save, buddy, I’ll handle this guy from here. But there’s another kid that needs help in that room.” He points where the Snifit disappeared to. “I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”

Gooigi offers a two-finger salute and dashes down the hall to find another entrance. 

“Pepper, can you get the kid out of here?”

The spirit yaps in the positive. He takes the hem of the teen's shirt in his mouth and gently coaxes them to follow. The two are almost to the hall when a giant Spiny Egg suddenly bowls by and blocks the exit. Luigi whirls back to the illy-ignored ghost.

Where there once was a normal—albeit shadowy—looking Lakitu, now floats a twisted abomination. The iconic safety goggles have sunken into the entity’s head and rounded to mimic a singular eye, complete with glowing sclera and slitted pupil. The pitiful patch of hairs protruding from its scalp have lengthened into long, rope-like appendages that thrash and spark in the air like live wires. Claws have sprouted from the Vitiate’s stubby fingers and their blunted teeth now gleam with fine points. Lightning arcs around their darkened cloud as it slowly expands into a miniature thunderstorm.

Maybe Luigi shouldn’t have been so hasty in sending away his backup.

The Vitiate conjures another pair of Spiny Eggs and throws them at the plumber with a furious roar. Luigi catches the first with the Poltergust and barely avoids the second, nearly falling off the table in the process. He launches the spiky projectile back, but the ghost is expecting it this time and easily evades it. The Vitiate decides to add an addition Spiny Egg to his usual two and pitches each one with great vigor. The speed at which they’re thrown knocks Luigi off balance when he nabs the first, the second nearly grazes him, and the third strikes the table, causing Luigi to lose his hold on the wand and accidentally step partially off his platform. Nary a second after his foot submerges, the floor suddenly returns to normal, effectively trapping Luigi in place. The plumber grabs his leg and pulls in an attempt to free himself, to no avail. The board creaks under the strain of his struggle, and the nails seem to be loosening, but Luigi doubts it will dislodge in time to avoid another attack.

The dark entity cackles mirthfully at Luigi’s plight. The plumber scrabbles for his Poltergust’s wand, fully expecting the ghost to conjure more Spiny Eggs, but halts when he sees electricity starting to dance along the Lakitu's claws. Luigi can feel his hairs standing on end as the energy builds, and the air suddenly reeks of ozone. The Vitiate laughs uproariously when Luigi drops to a knee and braces himself, finding the plumber’s action to be foolish and hilariously futile. With a final guffaw, the ghost fires the gathered electricity at their target—

—and Luigi catches it.

The Vitiate recoils, gawking with open shock at the plumber’s seemingly impossible feat. Luigi meets the stupefied ghost's eyes and offers the slightest smirk.

“You picked the wrong element, my friend.”

Then, adding an extra charge of his own, Luigi fires the lightning right back at it. The blast is so intense, the entity’s corporeal form briefly scatters on impact like a corrupted, digital image. It reforms as the energy passes through it and collapses to the ground in a twitching mass of ectoplasm. Not willing to make the same mistake twice, Luigi fervently tugs at his leg until the board tears free from the floor and awkwardly hobbles over to the stunned ghost, wasting no time in capturing it in the Poltergust. Luigi heaves a weary breath, removing his hat and drawing the back of his hand across his forehead.

Two down…

“Dude.”

Luigi startles, forgetting that he still has an audience. He turns to find the Toad staring at him with open awe.

“That was… the most metal¹ thing I’ve ever seen.”

There’s that word again. Was it just the default adjective nowadays? Luigi supposes it’s more applicable to the current situation than in the context Koojo used it. Pepper is many things, but metal is not one of them.

As if summoned by the thought of their name, the happy, slobbering canine bounds over to Luigi and latches onto the wooden plank encompassing the plumber’s leg. They gnaw on it like a chew toy, growling playfully. Luigi sighs and drags his additional burden along as he makes his way to the gawking teenager.

“You alright?” he asks.

They blink slowly back at him.

“…physically?” he ventures.

“Oh! Yeah. Though I now have an irrational fear of hard wood floors.”

Luigi glances down at his trapped foot. “I… think I do too.” He wiggles his leg, getting Pepper's attention. “Hey Pepper, you can have the… uh, stick if you get it off my foot.”

The Polterpup perks, like the idea never occurred to him. With a muffled bark, they turn the plank intangible and pull it free from the plumber. Luigi sighs gratefully.

“Thanks buddy. Now, will you take… Sweet T., right?”

The teen blinks, offering a numb nod. “Right. Can you take Sweet T. back outside to their other friends?” 

Pepper garbles an affirmative around their new toy and nudges the Toad toward the now cleared hallway (the construct must have vanished when Luigi defeated the Lakitu). Sweet. T. stumbles after the spectral canine, tossing a hurried “thank you” over their shoulder as the duo disappear around the corner. Luigi takes a composing breath upon their departure and dashes off in the opposite direction.

Gooigi might be needing some back up of their own.

Gooigi, in fact, does not need back up.

Luigi is standing in the doorway of the adjacent room—the kitchen, as it were—with both arms dangling limply at his side. He had expected to stumble into the chaos of flying utensils and warped realities, not… this.

Gooigi and the Snifit are standing before the now complete silverware outline of the Paratroopa, the model of which is off to the side vomiting into a waste basket. The inside of the cutlery border is splattered with a dark, inky substance, similar to what the Lakitu had been using for its constructs. Both paranormal beings are looking up at the macabre creation, hands on their chin, contemplating it like an art piece at an exhibit. 

“…Gooigi, what in Stars’ name are you doing?”

Luigi's partner turns to him with a little wave and signs a response.

“Appreciating art?”

He nods, beckoning Luigi over. The plumber cautiously complies, subtly keeping an eye on the Vitiate as he draws near. The Snifit turns its head slightly at his approach, regarding him, but not hostilely so. It slowly gestures to the “art piece”.

“Uh… it’s… nice?” Luigi ventures.

The Vitiate tilts its head. Gooigi taps the plumber on the shoulder and signs a question.

“How does it make me feel?” he parrots. Luigi looks back at the arrangement of silverware and ectoplasm. “…tired.”

“That’s valid. It kinda makes me feel melancholy,” a new voice offers.

Luigi turns to find the Paratroopa behind him, also examining the Vitiate’s handy work. They look a little green, but there doesn’t appear to be a scratch on them.

“I think the ink represents inner turmoil, while the silverware is a metaphor for the tools we use to try and keep it contained.”

The Snifit nods approvingly. Luigi stares blankly.

“What do you see green guy?” the teen inquires.

Gooigi signs a brief reply. 

“Man, that’s deep.”

Luigi rubs at his temples. He doesn’t get modern art. “You, uh, wouldn’t happen to know of the artist Vincent Van Gore, would you?” he asks the Vitiate.

The Snifit tilts its head curiously. Luigi takes that as encouragement to elaborate.

“I think the two of you would get along great. He owns an art studio downtown that offers all sorts of mediums to explore.” Luigi reaches into his pocket and procures a business card. “You should check it out sometime. Oh! And here’s mine if you need help getting back to your haunt, or anything, really.”

The Vitiate accepts the slips of paper, examining them with interest. It offers Luigi a slow nod. 

“Dude, how many business cards are you carrying?” the teen asks.

“I have a lot of pockets, and a lot of contacts, that’s all you need to know.”

The Vitiate suddenly beckons the Paratroopa forward, gesturing to a blank part of the drywall. The teen stares back uncomprehendingly. Luigi flinches when the ghost calls forth a spare knife, but relaxes when the entity only uses it to crudely sign its name in illegible loopy cursive. Once finished, it offers the utensil handle-first to the Paratroopa.

“You… want me to sign?”

The Snifit nods.

“Sweet.”

The Paratroopa accepts the knife (all the while Luigi feels like an irresponsible adult) and carves their name just as crudely near the ghost's signature. 

“K-o-o-p-i-l,” he sounds out, somewhat redundantly.

The Vitiate nods, pleased, and slowly levitates the macabre artwork toward the wide window of the breakfast nook. With a wave of an arm, the entire wall explodes outward in a hail of glass and splintered wood. It waves again, this time as a goodbye, and flies off through the hole, art piece in tow. The trio wave numbly after it, mouths agape. 

Three down...

Sort of.

“…Dane is so dead when his parents come home.”

Luigi buries his face in his hands. The property damage just keeps piling up. “So, nausea and trauma aside, are you okay, Koopil?”

Koopil offers a thumbs up. “Yup. I may cry later, but overall, I’m golden. Believe it or not, this isn’t the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“If you say so.” Luigi grimaces. He looks to his partner. “Gooigi, would you mind escorting Koopil back outside?”

“No need my green amigos. I’ll just, uh… exit through the new gaping hole in the wall.”

The ghost hunters exchange a glance.

“That… works too.”

And with that, Koopil takes off, calling his belated gratitude as he zooms out into the night.

Luigi turns to find his doppelgänger staring at him, arms folded and chest puffed up. He frowns. “You don’t have to look so smug about it. I could have solved that peacefully too, you know.” Gooigi turns on his heel, proudly placing his fists on his hips as he struts away. Luigi follows with a grumble. “Yeah, well, they still blew a hole in the wall. So there.”

Gooigi waves a hand through the air. Semantics.

Luigi rolls his eyes, but smiles good naturedly. His expression abruptly falls with a sudden realization. “Stars above, we should have asked Koopil if he had any idea where the other kids could be.”

Gooigi halts mid-step. At first, the plumber thinks it’s because of what he said, but when the ghost hunter turns around, he is pointing at something down the hall.

A narrow trickle of water is snaking out of a nearby bathroom, flowing unnaturally along the level ground. The little stream continues down the hall and under the door leading to the back yard.

Gooigi meets the plumber’s gaze. “I think we found our first clue,” he signs.