Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

From an outsider's perspective, Sawamura Daichi might seem like the typical guy from District one. He's fit, masculine, appears quite unfazed by his horrific fate and right off the bat a strong contender in this year's Games.

That, however, couldn't be farther from the truth.

Daichi was born and raised in riches, but that didn't stop his family from teaching him the value of hard work, reminding him to see everything from a perspective. He was lucky enough to live in a mostly accepting society, but never courageous enough to reveal his true self. Aside from Asahi, Koushi is the only person who knows a very private detail about him and it quite honestly shocked him when he decided to blurt out this sensitive piece of information to a person who has so far shown hatred at worst and a desire to maintain a certain distance from him, both physically and emotionally, at best.

But he couldn't help but try and approach his teammate, for practical and also personal reasons.
They need to unite as one to even think about coming on top. Daichi also happens to find Sugawara Koushi intelligent, sensitive and honestly screwed over.
He hasn't said anything to him directly, but from the way his eyes seem hollow most of the time and the fact that he seldom smiles -mostly at Yamaguchi and almost always failing to conceal his sadness- one could easily tell that he is troubled.

After all, he lives in District Eleven.

What honestly floored him was the fact that his partner, coming from the most conservative Districts of Panem and explicitly denying ever being attracted to the same gender, has admitted the exact opposite to him.

Of all people.

He couldn't deny that from the moment he embarassed himself when they first met, he had found Koushi stunningly charming, but his tries to build up walls between him and Daichi can -and will if not dealt with- reduce their chances of coming out of this alive.
He rercognises Sugawara's skills and his ability of defending himself against assholes from upper-class Districts like Oikawa, even though Daichi felt the need to step in, a decision he regretts now facing its consequences.
The warm feeling spreading in his chest after hearing Sugawara's response following his out of character rant remains strong as he replays the scene in his mind.

However cognitive skills will only take Sugawara so far.
Daichi, while not as bright as Koushi, is more physically prepared for this ordeal. And while brains are highly valued during a time like this, combat is inevitable and Daichi knows very well that his partner could never improve so drastically to be able to defeat someone if it comes down to fighting, especially against experienced opponents like Kouro or Oikawa.

God he wants to punch them so hard.

He comes from an environment in which not only are children thuroughly prepared to physically be in top shape in case they are chosen to compete, but many times passionate young men and women would volunteer to be selected to the point where a special ballot is made specifically for them.
That was until last year, when the government made the executive decision of banning volunteering at Districts One and Two.
But for this new regulation Daichi would most probably be home right now, escaping the jaws of peril since many others would gladly take his place.

He has reached the conclusion that fate is cruel.

The irony of it all is that he wasn't chosen in the first place. The one exception to the ban of willingly becoming a tribute is the case of taking the place of a person who is deemed physically or mentally unfit to participate.

That was no other than his own deathly sick twin brother.

No matter how friendly terms the Capitol and District One are on, the frequent requests for exempting District One from the Games are declined every time.
The Capitol is the Capitol and no matter how powerful one might be, bending the rules would no doubt be seen as either social injustice or an excuse for an open rebellion, both of which would lead to riots.

Panem might be ruled by a powerful, military-based regime, but even the strongest should know not to poke the bear.
Much less the starving bear.

They do, however, try to keep the pillars of the operation happy.
The sick are not allowed to compete in the Hunger Games as tributes and will be replaced by a sibling or -in the case where there is none or they aren't between twelve and eighteen years of age- the ballot would be drawn again. The Games aren't designed to kill those who can't escape the clutches of death anyway. They aim for the ones who are still standing proudly, as if their mere existence is an offence and a danger to Panem.

That's why Daichi is currently in this situation, insgtead of his brother who has been suffering from leukemia since the tender age of fourteen.
Despite being terminal -the exact amount of time he has left is not known- Asahi never lost his spirit, his selflessness and, above all, his kind heart.
That's why even when he started losing weight, slowly but gradually becoming almost unhealthily thin, and when the glow from his eyes started fading, Daichi started to act as if his brother will one day be cured.

Maybe that's why he decided to never mention to anyone that Asahi's days are numbered. Everyone would find out eventually in the interviews, since the Organizers always try their best to dig up anything and everything they can about the tributes so the extra days of pitiful looks from Sugawara -because he may be cold but he does have a heart and he definitely wouldn’t want anything of the sort happening to his own sister- and the cruel teases from Oikawa and people of his lot are not only unecessary but also unbearable.

For now he just focuses of getting his hair done. He woke up quite early, since he couldn’t really rest, if fussing and turning under the covers is considered resting. He tiptoed through his morning routine, not wanting to disturb Sugawara, since more silence and distance between them is the last thing they need, forced some bread and fruit down his throat and after grabbing his keys went out the door before the sun could hit the large window of the dining room in their apartment.
His feet drag against the grey carpet in the corridors of the Grand Hotel of Tributes, his mind too groggy to register where exactly he’s heading. He still has a couple of hours until his appointment, even though it is scheduled at eight. Before he knows it, he ends up in a café he never remembers seeing before.

Then again he hasn’t done much exploring to find out what the hell is in this place.

It’s mostly empty, even the barista leaning against a counter, waiting for new customers with droopy eyes. He straightens his back at the sight of Daichi, speaking in a voice so loud compared to the heavy silence it almost startles the boy.

“We’re open for business”, he smiles lightly.

“Oh, thanks but I don’t want anything…”

“Whatever you order is free, since you’re…” the barista insists quietly but hesitates. “Maximum amount of drinks per day is three”, he says instead.

“He’ll have a black coffee” a gruff voice interrupts them and this time Daichi is startled. As he turns his head to see who is awake at the crack of dawn he makes eye contact with an unknown man.

“I’m fine, thanks…” he responds, but the stern look the older sends to the barista is enough for him to start making the beverage without saying a word.
At this Daichi feels irritation growing in his skin.

“Do I know you?”

The man takes a long drag from his cigarette and inhales deeply. “No, but it’s time you did. I’m Sugawara and your mentor, Ukai Keishin. I will work together with the mentor from your district.”

Daichi is taken aback in the least.
This guy looks like the people he gave food to back home when his school visited a homeless shelter.

“Oh”

“Yeah, I know, not much of a victor at first glance”, Ukai voices Daichi’s inner thoughts. “But I would advise you to get all the help you can. Even for kids like you winning shouldn’t be taken for granted”, he borderline reprimands.

Judging by Sugawara’s opinion regarding the people of District One, Daichi isn’t really surprised that another person from Eleven is so heavily prejudiced against him.
Then again, they’re the ones starving and living in horrid conditions, in contrast to his privileged life. The fact, however, that they don’t seem willing to give him a chance in order to prove he at least isn’t like any other District One tribute -or so he likes to think- hurts and aggravates him to say the least.

“If I were you I would wipe that sour look of my face and sit down”, the man murmurs, staring at his finished coffee.
With a roll of his eyes, Daichi takes a seat next to him in a table for two in the farthest corner from the entrance.

“I know about you. Well, I don’t know everything, but I like to think I know enough to roughly size you up”
Daichi doesn’t know if his raw honesty scares or enrages him even further.

“I don’t think you’re dumb, so I assume you have figured out who is the brains and who the brawn in your team.”

“Yes” he admits blankly.

“ I imagine that you are also facing some difficulties in approaching Sugawara”

“…Yeah”

“That was expected. You come from two very different backgrounds and people like Sugawara have gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to basically everything. But you already know that.”
Ukai takes the boy’s silence as a sign to continue:

“I talked to your other mentor and will talk to Sugawara. All four of us will also talk probably later today or tomorrow to prepare for what’s coming” he ends almost whispering.

The barista serves Daichi his black coffee and with a nod leaves, proceeding to his semi slumber.
“I’ll say this and you’re free to drink your coffee: you two must work together if you want to have a chance of winning. No teaming up with anyone else. Everyone will eventually screw you over. Sugawara is the only one you can trust. Same goes for him.”

“I know”

“He knows too. He just can’t accept it yet.”

After a moment of pregnant silence, Daichi goes:
“I don’t drink coffee”

“If you can’t sleep at least stay awake without feeling like you wanna pass out” Ukai says with a breathy chuckle, getting up from his seat.
“Well that’s enough interaction with District One for the morning” he jabs. “I’ll see you around, kid”

Daichi lets out a sigh, “Yeah”

Still not entirely awake and aware, he almost thinks that the last ten minutes were a figment of his imagination or a very odd dream. He tries drinking the coffee, a bitter taste hitting him instantly. He ignores it, knowing very well that without caffeine he wouldn't last the day.
Having no other option as to what to do nor wanting to explore the hotel further, he idles around in the cafe, waiting the time to pass, mind wandering to his family.

During his short amount of residing in the Capitol he has seen tributes crying, especially young teens, clearly not ready to be separated -probably forever- from their families, but also tributes laughing, trying so hard to giggle their terifying thoughts away it's painful to watch. There are also a few who remain quite emotionless, keeping the storm in their head for themselves. Daichi puts himself under that category. Simply the thought of what he has left behind makes him feel hollow and without purpose.

So he settles for crying behind closed doors.

But in the dead quiet of the cafe, without anything to distract him from dwelling about home, he feels the strong urge to ball his eyes out like there is no tomorrow.

He remembers the last time he saw his brother and parents very clearly.

His father never comes to the Reapings in fear of jinxing the process, so they said their goodbyes in their home. Their relationship doesn't stray far from a typical father-son dynamic, however neither of them shied away from saying "I love you" at times like this.

"I'll see you in a few", he said with a weak smile. "Don't be late and take care of your brother"

That goes without question Daichi recalls thinking while nodding curtly.

They walked to the building in which two persons' lives are ruined every year, a large, luxurious structure with a slow pace. Daichi pushed the wheelchair carrying his brother with caution, desperately trying to calm his nerves. He tried but failed to forget the fact that, unlike most, his chances of being chosen are doubled because in the case where his brother is picked, he would take his place.

He loves his brother, his rock, his best friend, like no other.

But he didin't want to fight in the Hunger Games and the monster inside him reared its ugly head, barely audible but crystal clear in Daichi's head:

Why should I die too?

"Go any slower and I might fall asleep" Asahi attempted to lift their spirits with his lighthearted humor. Daichi managed a hollow chuckle and continued with slightly faster steps.

"This okay or does your sorry ass wanna go early to the Reaping?" he retorted without any bite.

In general Daichi is a quite dense person, not precicely knowing how to move smoothly around a conversation. His brother is the only one easy to talk to, both of them knowing each other's boundaries and respecting them.

"That's rich coming from someone who can't stand being even a minute late" Asahi played along.

"Boys, settle down", their mother's light chastising ends any other joke.

Nothing is worse than not being able to survive cancer. But having a child who won't survive cancer comes a close second.

The two brothers often used to pay no heed to their mother's reprimands, too focused in fooling around. That, however, changed when they found out why Asahi felt sleepy all the time and bruised so easily. Ever since then he has carefully listened to his mother, Asahi being too weak to oppose anyway.

Sawamura Ayame always worried for her kids, never being the one to spend time with them, opting instead to insure the family's financial stability in order to ensure the best for her children. She never really understood the importance of being there for her sons before the doctors told her that she would be losing one of them.

She quit her job, passing her jewellery business on to her sister, started taking care of Asahi and actually taking time to talk to Daichi as well.
Her worry especially spiked these days, not being able to fathom her life wihtout one of her children, much less without both.

Reapings in District One are conducted in a large theater-like space. Given that One is quite small, there are no problems with the number of children ages twelve to eighteen.

After registering, Asahi and Daichi sat in the designated set of chairs for handicaped people. Asahi took his seat, holding on to his brother and landing while slightly panting. They sat next to each other, waiting for every young boy and girl to anxiously settle to their seats.

"Bro...", Asahi was the first to break the silence without making eye contact.

"Yeah?"

"...I'm sorry"

At that moment, Daichi felt crippled from guilt. He may not wanted to take his brother's place, but it never really crossed his mind that there is a possibility -small but very much there- that Asahi would have to watch helplessly as his brother would be sent to die because of him.

He abruptly turned his head to face him.

"Shut up. I don't wanna hear stupid shit like that. It's not your fault that you're sick and it's definitely not your fault that the President is fucking crazy..."

"Daichi", Asahi whispered worriedly, looking around to make sure that noone is close enough to listen to what his brother just said. While the Capitol and District One are on good terms, just like any other place, the Games are not particularly loved and combined with a controlling regime that forbids comerse between districts without its interference, there is pleanty os displeasure expressed behind closed doors. Arrests are not frequent, but people know better than to publicly speak against their President.

"I don't care. Promise me that you don't feel responsible for this."

Their eyes locked, Daichi's hazel orbs boring into his brother's tired ones.

"I promise" Asahi said after a small pause.

They kept quiet.

The whole process is always a blur to Daichi. He fails to hear or see anything, blinded by his terrifying thoughts about the worst case scenario and deafened by his racing heartbeat. Everytime his eyes landed on the woman on the stage -District one's escort- her wide smile made him furious. He knew that she is most probably obligated to smile -noone likes a gloomy escort- but in the few moments he wasn't drowned by his thoughts he was constantly trembling with rage.

She acts as if someone is going to win the lottery if they're chosen.

They always start from the girls, which in his opinion only makes things worst, prolonging the torturous wait.

Michimiya Yui is picked, a girl Daichi actually knew. Their relationship was one of mere aqcuaintance. Yui was smart, captain of the female volleyball team and an honor student, always one to show confidence and courage. However, during her walk to the stage, she looked consumed by fear, all colour drained from her face.
Noone dared make a sound, her light steps the only thing heard while she made her way to the escort.

He figured pleading to any God woudln't save him, so he just closed his eyes. And indeed he didn't hear his own name.

"Sawamura Asahi!"

His stomach churns even thinking about the tearful goodbyes he shared with his family. He doesn't believe in anything, but if there is someone or something superior to them somewhere, he pleads that they keep Asahi alive for him to see if he ever returns home.

Before he could register anything he feels moisture running down his cheeks.

He must have been there for quite a while, he realises by taking a look at the wall clock of the cafe. Ten to eight.

After gathering himself, he gets up with a sniffle and asks the barista where the hairdressing appointments for District One are. Ironically he'd had his hair cut just a few days before the Reaping, so no major change -if any adjustment- was made by the bald short man, who introduced himself as "Furukawa-san, your barber and stylist". After twenty minutes of basically just applying gel to his hair, he tells Daichi he's done.

He might have been up for only a few hours, however as he starts to head towards his room he can feel the exhaustion from his morning thoughts and whereabouts. Turns out coffee just doesn't have any effect on him.

Slowly opening the door he hopes that he won't catch neither Yamaguchi nor Sugawara in the apartment. Sugawara never leaves his room apart from using the bathroom and eating, ocasionally chatting with the young servant. Daichi feels shut out even when it comes to talking to Yamaguchi, since he -quite reasonably but also unfairly- prefers talking to someone who understands his hardships.

Daichi isn't dumb. He stopped believing that everyone lead the same life as him ever since he was a little boy, his parents watching the news about the protests from Districts such as Eleven and Twelve due to the lack of resources and food. Mysteriously enough a huge fire broke out mere days after the whole incident, whiping out nearly half of Eleven's crops and killing hundreds of people who lived near the woods.

Judging from the silence and the shut door of his room, he realises his teammate must be still sleeping. Yamaguchi, however, is right there, preparing what Daichi assumes to be lunch. Sensing eyes on him, the young boy turns around startled. "Sawamura-san, good morning. I came to fix you breakfast an hour ago, but you weren't here so I figured-" "It's fine, Yamaguchi, don't worry", he reassures the anxious servant. "I wasn't hungry anyway" "Okay, then", he lets out a laugh that very much resembles a sigh of relief. "Feel free to relax. I will be here until lunch, so whatever you need..." "Got it, thanks"
With quick but quiet strides he heads to his room, a set of four walls rediculusly overdecorated in a quite accurate attempt to resemble One's style.
He crawls under the covers of his snug but foreign bed, running everything that happened to him the past few days in his head for the milionth time and sobbing softly.

Daichi wants Sugawara to confide in him so badly, so that he could make things better, even though he knows that's not going to happen. He is almost positive he can't do anything to help him.

But he's damn willing to try.