Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The man says a few important things to the Asset while he is trying to defend the Helicarriers.

Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. My name is Steve Rogers, he says. You’ve known me your whole life.  

Those are important phrases, he knows they are, even if they are infinitely confusing. He is the Asset. How can he have known this man his whole life? He is the Asset.

The words are enough to undermine Hydra’s programming though, and he finds himself dragging the man – this Steve Rogers – out of the water, pieces of the Helicarriers raining down around him. He knows he should be more worried about failing Hydra’s mission, but he finds himself fixating on the man.

He is important.

He is also bleeding, and very injured.

He stays with him on the bank of the water, his hands moving by themselves as he puts pressure on the gunshot wound in his abdomen, his eyes pinned to the man’s chest, counting the breaths. The breathing is important.

They aren’t alone for long. A woman comes, whom he recognises as Agent Natasha Romanoff, from the Avengers team, and she is accompanied by a man he doesn’t recognise— beyond the battle they had had on top of the Helicarriers.

Agent Romanoff’s eyes widen at the sight of them, and she pulls out a phone, talking into it frantically. “Cap is down,” he hears her say, and the title tugs at something important in his brain. “I need emergency medical. I repeat, Cap is down, we’re on the bank of the Potomac.”

The other man approaches them slowly, the Asset tensing as he steps closer. The man stops then, crouching down slightly in front of him, his eyes flicking over him and the man. The Asset grits his teeth and stares at him. Unlike Agent Romanoff, he doesn’t know this man. But, he had been working with the man— Steve Rogers, so he must be another agent of some kind.

“My name is Sam Wilson,” the man says quietly. “I’m with Cap, and I have some medical training. Would it be alright if I look him over?”

The Asset swallows uncertainly and darts his eyes over Agent Wilson, and then up to Agent Romanoff. He isn’t exactly sure what to do with the request, since it isn’t an order, but deep in his mind, he can feel his brain trying to make a connection between these two agents, and the words Steve Rogers had said earlier.

You’ve known me for your whole life.

He can’t… exactly remember that. He knows Hydra wipes his memories to maintain his function, so he doesn’t know if he does know the man— Except he does, because the man is important, and he knows him. He does.

So that must mean that the man had been telling the truth. He must have known him for his whole life.

Which must mean— something. Something to do with the agents. His eyes dart over them again, the revelation still staying buried in his brain. He can feel it, but he can’t quite grasp at it yet, but he does know that if this man, Steve, worked with these agents — and if he had known him for his whole life — then he should probably listen to them.

He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to let them near him. He knows how dangerous agents can be. But it isn’t his place to interfere, and… this Agent Wilson might be able to help the man, so… so he will have to defer to them for now.

He swallows again, keeping his eyes pinned on the agent, before he slowly eases back, taking his hands off the man and giving Agent Wilson some space to look him over.

Agent Wilson stares at him for a second, before coming closer, his hands ghosting over Steve Rogers as he checks over his injuries. His face is a shadow of tense lines as the extent of the damage becomes clear, and the Asset tries not to tense.

He had injured the man, and these are his agents, and they probably won’t be happy that he injured their—

The word slips through his mind, the connection not quite there, and he lets it go, watching as Agent Wilson shrugs off his jacket, using it to press against the wound in Steve Rogers’ gut. Agent Romanoff approaches cautiously, her phone by her side and her eyes darting from the man to him a few times as Agent Wilson begins to list off a damage report.

Multiple gunshot wounds, contusions, stab wounds, cuts, possible concussion…

The Asset remains tense and quiet as he listens to the report, and he breathes in slowly, hoping that the agents won’t be too angry with him. He… he regrets injuring the man. He had been trying to follow Hydra’s orders— because he hadn't known he knew the man yet, he didn’t know he was important— but, but now he isn’t following Hydra’s orders.

He blinks at the realisation. He isn’t following Hydra’s orders… but that seems less important now, because he is with the man.

I’m with you till the end of the line, the man had said. That is important. That… is more important than Hydra’s orders. He had known the man for his whole life, and he is supposed to be with him (till the end of the line). That is important.

It is important when the medical team finally arrives. He watches them like a hawk as they swarm over the man – Steve, and he can feel the two agents watching him dubiously, whispering to each other.

At last, Agent Romanoff approaches him, her face set in a mask of blankness, even though her eyes watch him carefully. “We’re taking him to the hospital,” she says, her stance almost casual as she stands in front of him. “Are you coming with us?”

He blinks, and alarm bells ring in his head. The phrase doesn’t feel like a question, it feels too much like a test. A test from the agents to see whether he will follow Steve. He stares at the waiting ambulance for a moment and thinks.

He doesn’t know these agents, but it is obvious that they are in charge of the man. They are the ones to receive his damage report, and to arrange his medical care. His eyes flick to the waiting duo… and he wonders if they are handlers.

The question tugs at the waiting connection in his brain, and he lets it settle, thinking over the riddle again. He is the Asset, the man is Steve Rogers. He had known the man all his life, and the man has agents taking care of him.

If these agents are in charge of the man, then he should comply with them. If they are testing to see if he will follow them… then he will have to prove himself. “Affirmative,” he replies, nodding slightly.

Romanoff’s eyebrow raises a little, but she doesn’t get mad, and she doesn’t refuse him, making him think that he had passed the test. She glances back at Agent Wilson for a moment before looking back at him and nodding once.

“Alright,” she says decisively. “Let’s go.”

He complies.

oOo

The man is in surgery for a while, and the Asset waits with the agents in the hospital, standing at attention and keeping his eyes pinned to the wall ahead of him. His arm hurts at the position. Well, both his arms hurt, but the flesh one hurts more right now, the one that the man had wrestled with when he had been trying to get the keycard for the Helicarrier.

He grits his teeth and bares it though, not wanting to let up on his stance, lest he upset the agents beside him. He doesn’t exactly know how to act around them yet, so he will play it on the safe side for now.

The agents don’t really seem to know how to act around him either, the two of them remaining tense and worried as they sit next to him, throwing him glances every once and a while, and holding whispered conversations on their phones.

After a while, the flyer, Agent Wilson, gets up and stretches, letting out a groan. “I need coffee,” he says, looking over at Agent Romanoff. “Do you want any?”

Agent Romanoff gives her order, and then the man turns to him, his eyes flicking over him a little uncertainly. “Do… you want any?”

The Asset darts his eyes to him, and his hands tighten behind his back, the pain in his shoulder flaring slightly. Agents don’t usually offer him things, outside of his rations, so…he wonders if this is another test, something to test his compliance. “Negative,” he replies, deciding to air on the side of caution.

Agent Wilson nods and leaves him alone after that, coming back with the coffee and sitting next to Agent Romanoff as they wait for news of the man. Agent Romanoff seems to be done with her phone conversations, and she taps her fingers against the arm of her chair for a while, before she gives a sudden blink, and shifts, looking over at him.

“Are you injured?” she asks him, and his eyes dart to her, surprise flaring through him for a moment, before he relaxes slightly.

She’s asking for a damage report, and… and that makes sense.

He… thinks he’s beginning to understand the situation – even if he isn’t a hundred percent sure yet – and since the agents have already done a damage report on the other man, and, since he is following them now… it makes sense that they want to do their own damage report on him.

To be honest, it is a little relieving to have the familiar after-mission ritual, and he loosens his stance slightly, turning to her as he lists off his own damage report.

There isn’t a lot, the man had— he had refused to fight him, at one point, (You’ve known me your whole life), and truly his most pressing injury is the one to his arm. Agent Romanoff’s eyes widen as he mentions the wrenched shoulder, and he finds Agent Wilson’s eyes on him too.

“Geez man,” he says, standing up with a start, his eyes flicking over him. “Doesn’t it hurt to hold your arms like that?”

His arms tighten behind his back, and he swallows as he works on ignoring the pain Agent Wilson’s question shines a spotlight on. “The Asset is functional,” he replies back, and Agent Wilson stares at him for a second, before glancing over at Agent Romanoff.

They seem to hold a silent conversation for a moment, before Agent Wilson looks back up at him. “Still,” he says slowly. “We should still have a doctor look at it, make sure it is okay.”

At his words, the Asset takes in a breath and nods. He isn’t really surprised by the suggestion, because, “Maintenance is required,” he says, and the agents share one last glance, before Agent Romanoff stands up and declares her intentions to find a doctor.

The doctor the agent finds is… a lot… gentler than his Hydra ones. He doesn’t know how else to explain it, but the doctor assigned to him is much more careful and conscientious than what he’s used to, and he finds himself relaxing at the knowledge that the doctors working on Steve are also probably the same.

The agents have good doctors, that is… good.

The doctor gives him a sling for his arm, and tells him that, with his serum, he should be fine in a few days. The news is welcome, since it means he will not be out of commission for long, and soon he is standing back with the agents, waiting for Steve’s surgery to be done.

At one point, Agent Romanoff gets called forward by a nurse, and at first, the Asset thinks that the surgery is over, but the nurse looks haggard, and she and Agent Romanoff speak a few harried sentences to each other, before the nurse rushes off again.

Agent Romanoff seems paler than before as she comes back, and the Asset watches her out of the corner of his eyes as she sits back down next to Agent Wilson. The other man looks over at her. “What’s going on?” he asks in a low voice.

Agent Romanoff swallows and her legs squeeze together as she crosses them. “Rogers’ serum metabolism keeps eating through the sedatives,” she says tightly. “They can’t keep him down properly, and he keeps waking up. She wanted to know if we had anything better, but we don’t.”

The Asset swallows hard at her words, and the pain in his shoulder – the left one this time – flares up as he tries not to remember his own half-conscious surgery. He supposes it isn’t a surprise that they don’t have anything for the man but—

He gives his head a slight shake and breathes in, subtly trying to loosen his shoulder. His eyes dart up to the surgery doors, and he really hopes the operation will be over soon.

oOo

They are allowed into Steve’s room once the surgery is over, the man thankfully asleep in the bed when they come in. The two agents cluster on one side of him – Agent Romanoff again on her phone – and the Asset stands on the other. (It’s the left side, because that is important for some reason).

It doesn’t take long for one of the doctors to come in, and the two agents perk up as the man begins to give a status update on Steve.

“Captain Rogers’ surgery went well,” he says, and the Asset blinks, the waiting connection in his brain finally solidifying at his words.

Captain Rogers, the doctor had called him, and he remembers now, getting debriefed on a team – the Avengers – with a Captain Rogers.

But. The man had said that he is called Steve Rogers, and he had said that the Asset had known him his whole life. He had also called the Asset James Buchanan Barnes.

So. The man’s name is Steve Rogers. But his title is Captain Rogers.

The Asset’s name is James Buchanan Barnes, but his title is the Asset.

He opens his eyes to the realisation and looks over at the agents, hardly hearing a word of the doctor’s report as he thinks through his sudden epiphany. He had thought – hadn't he – that the agents might be handlers, and— and they are handlers, aren’t they?

They take care of the man, and they receive the reports about him, but they don’t have sedatives for him, and they are concerned about his functionality, and they call him by his title, not his name.

That is important. Assets have titles. His title is the Asset, the man’s title is Captain Rogers. The agents call him Cap, or Captain, or Rogers because… because he is an asset too.

That must be it. How else would he have been able to know the Asset for ‘his whole life’? The Asset is a tool, used on missions. The only way the man could know him, would be if he went on missions with him as either a handler, or an asset.

The man has a name, but his handlers only use his title, therefore, he cannot be a handler. The man must have been an asset with him once. He must have. He knows he knows him, and the man had said that he had known him for his whole life—

                —are you ready to follow ‘Captain America’ into the jaws of death?—

The moment rises in his mind, and he blinks looking back down at the sleeping man on the bed. He… definitely had gone on missions with him before. That is what that— that memory had been. Him going on missions with ‘Captain America’. Captain America must be another title of the man and—

                —no, that kid from Brooklynn who was too dumb, not to run away from a fight. I’m following him.—

His eyes narrow at the new memory, ignoring the conversation between the agents and the doctor in favour of untangling the mystery he has found himself. He, and the man, had gone on missions together. That, he knows. They had been assets together, but—

But assets don’t have names, and the man has a name, and he had given a name to the Asset too. He thinks over the second memory again, trying to pull out the meaning. He and the man had been assets but— but— but he hadn't… been following the man… as the Captain.

Yes… that is what… that memory means. He hadn't treated the man as an asset. And the man hadn't treated him as an asset either.

They had given each other names.

His eyes dart to the two agents— handlers, and he swallows uneasily. He can’t remember very well his missions with the man, with Steve. But he knows that he is important. Important enough to disobey protocol commands. Important enough to accept and give illegal names.

They may not be allowed to have names, but… the man, Steve, had told them to him anyways. It must have been something just between the two of them. The names must have been a secret between them, or else they would have gotten punished. It must have been dangerous, but they had done it anyways.

Somehow, he and this man had managed to treat each other as not-assets, when out of the view of their handlers.

 That is important, and also very very dangerous. He has to be careful now, if he wants to make sure that neither the man, nor himself get in trouble.

He breathes in and glances over the agents (or handlers, or whatever they are) and he sets his jaw. These ones don’t seem as dangerous as some of the other ones he has worked with, and they seem willing to accept him as another asset, but he must be careful.

He will keep the names secret. He will protect the man— Steve. He can use their names for himself, at least, and he can protect them both. He will make sure their deviancy is not punished.

oOo

Steve wakes up when the other agents are not in the room, and he looks over to the left immediately, his eyes lighting up as he catches sight of him. His hand is laden with all sorts of hospital wires, but he gropes for him anyways, and the Asset finds himself reaching for his hand.

“Bucky,” he rasps, and the Asset feels a tingle rush through him at the name. “Bucky, you’re here.”

The Asset blinks when he sees tears beginning to form in Steve’s eyes, and he nods quickly, squeezing his hand slightly. He can’t feel much with his metal hand, but Steve smiles gently, and his eyes slip closed again, leaving the Asset to think over the name he had called him.

He had already figured out that they had given each other names, but Steve had told him his was James Buchanan Barnes. He stares down at the sleeping man for a moment, and determines that the name must be a quicker, shorter version of his whole name.

He… likes it. He can’t help smiling at the sound of it. Bucky… fits. He hadn't realised it at the time, but he hadn't been able to imagine himself with his name, until he had heard this newly revealed one.

Bucky… is his name. He’s certain of that now. It is definitely the name that he and Steve had used with each other. And, if he’s already using Steve’s name in the privacy of his own mind… then it is probably okay to do so with his own name.

He nods. Yes. Bucky. He can be Bucky on the inside, and the Asset on the outside, just like Steve is Captain Rogers on the outside, and Steve on the inside.

He lets out a breath and settles to watch Steve sleep, his eyes unconsciously drifting down to watch his chest as he breathes.

He doesn’t let go of his hand until the agents come back.

oOo

It doesn’t take long before Steve is more or less functional enough for the agents to start giving him status updates. As he listens, Bucky gathers that Steve’s mission had been to take down the Helicarriers, as well as expose Hydra’s presence to the world, and from all accounts, he seems to have successfully completed the mission.

He can’t help feeling relieved at that, even if his success means that he had catastrophically failed his own mission. He has a feeling he is going to be with Steve’s handlers now anyways, so Hydra won’t be able to punish him, and even if they could, he would rather suffer through that then to have Steve be punished for a mission failure.

Steve heals quickly, thanks to his serum, and Bucky stays with him the entire time, the two of them under guard from one agent or another almost constantly.

Steve almost gives him a heart-attack on the first day he stays mostly conscious for an extended period of time. Before this, he hadn't really had a chance to assess his situation, but his eyes are sharper now, and he notices Bucky’s arm sling right away.

“Bucky,” he says, looking over at him. “Is your arm okay? I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Bucky freezes at his words, his heartrate spiking, and a sweat breaking over out his shoulders as he becomes aware of Agent Romanoff sitting on her phone, a few chairs away. Steve had— Steve had just used his name. He had just used his name in front of her.

He stares at the man with wide eyes, trying to decide if he’s still a little loopy on drugs, because he can’t understand otherwise why he would risk something like that— and Steve himself seems to be watching him in concern, as if he doesn’t understand what is wrong.

“Bucky?” he says quietly, using the name again. “Are you alright?”

Bucky swallows, and realises suddenly that Agent Romanoff has yet to react to the name calling. His shoulders relax slightly in surprise, and he flicks his eyes to her just briefly, his mind spinning. There is no way she hasn’t heard the names, but she isn’t reacting so… so maybe these agents have different rules than his Hydra ones. Maybe for these agents, it’s okay for their assets to have names between each other, while off mission.

He looks back over at Steve, and he thinks that the man wouldn’t do something so stupid and dangerous – wouldn’t risk punishment – when he has yet to fully recover from his latest injuries. It must be okay for them to use names for each other, even if their handlers will never use them.

In front of him, Steve is still looking at him with an air of confusion, and Bucky sucks in a breath. “I am functional,” he says finally, all too conscious of Agent Romanoff behind him.

oOo

He is still cautious about using names around the other agents, and unlike Steve, he doesn’t feel comfortable using them in their presence, but Steve’s eyes light up the minute he uses them for the first time in private.

“Bucky,” he says, his voice teetering on the edge of slightly frantic as he reaches for his hand. “Do you— do you remember me?”

Bucky gives a small nod, before his lips press together. “I—” he swallows and looks away. “I don’t remember a lot,” he says, glancing back at Steve. “Hydra erased everything after every mission,” Steve’s face crumples slightly at that, and he rushes to continue. “But I remember that you are important,” he says, his hand tightening on Steve’s. “We went on missions together, right?”

Steve lets out a breath and leans back slightly against his pillow, his eyes bright. “I— uh,” he clears his throat. “Yes, we did,” he says. “We were fighting against Hydra.”

Bucky blinks in confusion, and sits as Steve explains to him that years and years ago, he had been captured by Hydra. “I didn’t know you were still alive,” he says intently, his eyes staring into him. “I couldn’t look for you, they said we didn’t have time— and we had to hunt down what we thought was the last Hydra base.”

Steve’s eyes are wide at the end of his explanation, and Bucky nods absentmindedly as he digests the information. It’s obvious to him that Steve seems to feel guilty that he hadn't been able to prevent him from being stolen by Hydra, but it’s also obvious his handlers hadn't given him the option.

He had had to complete his mission against Hydra, it isn’t his fault that he hadn't been allowed to go after a fallen asset.

“It’s okay,” he tells Steve, squeezing his hand again. “It isn’t your fault.”

Steve seems to blink slightly at that, but he settles back, and Bucky lets himself explore the idea that he had never originally been intended to be used by Hydra at all. If he had been stolen by them, then that would explain the intense conditioning period he had gone through. He hadn't been supposed to be their asset, and they had had to reset him.

He looks down at Steve, and can’t help feeling glad that Hydra had never gotten their hands on him. The agents Steve is with right now seem to be better than Hydra. They at least allow him to have a pretend-name.

It isn’t long before he and Steve are both healed and ready to leave the hospital, and Bucky meets another member of the team working with him.

“Cap!” a brown-haired man announces, breezing into the room, drawing Steve’s attention from where he is sitting on the edge of his bed. Steve blinks in surprise and opens his mouth to speak, but the man continues before he can say anything.

His words are almost too fast for him to keep up, but Bucky soon gathers that the man has been rather busy since Steve had outed and took down Hydra, and he is here to check on him.

“I’m fine, Stark–” Steve begins, and the man, Stark, waves it away.

“Right,” he says. “But, I’ve been thinking, things are kind of a mess right now, and I’ve already checked, and your apartment is also a mess, so…” He rubs his hands together. “I was thinking you could move into my tower, back in New York.”

Steve seems surprised by the offer, and Stark goes on to explain the features of the tower, as well as the fact that Agent Romanoff, and another agent named Clint Barton are already planning to move in as well.

“It’s just simpler to have the team together like that,” Stark says, and Bucky blinks suddenly as he realises who the man must be.

This must be Steve’s handler.

He had been wondering if the agents around him were handlers or not, but it is clear through the man’s— Handler-Stark’s manner, and his suggestion, that he must be Steve’s main handler. Handlers are in charge of maintaining and controlling assets, and Handler-Stark seems to want to change Steve’s home-base location from this city to another.

Ordinarily, assets wouldn’t have much choice in the matter, but Steve looks unsure. “I don’t know…” he says slowly, and Bucky stares at him, flicking his eyes to Handler-Stark and hoping that he doesn't get mad.

Handler-Stark only shrugs. “Com’on Cap, think about it,” he says, putting his hands on his hips. “With SHIELD gone, do you really have anywhere else to go?”

Bucky’s gut clenches at the subtle threat and Steve’s lips press together, his eyes flicking to him for a second before looking back up at Handler-Stark. “I… was hoping to stay with Bucky,” he says, his voice hinting on uncertain.

Bucky swallows and keeps his eyes on Handler-Stark, knowing that the next few moments will determine whether or not he will be fully accepted as another asset to the Avengers.

Handler-Stark’s eyes flick to him for a second, and Bucky tries not to tense. “Hey, Terminator,” the man calls. “You planning to go ballistic on us with that arm?”

Bucky stares, and it takes him a second to figure out what he is asking. He is being tested, the man is trying to determine whether or not he is a threat, whether he can be trusted. He raises his chin. “Negative,” he replies. He would never attack a handler or other agents.

Handler-Stark shrugs his shoulders and looks back at Steve. “Seems good to me,” he says casually. “He can come too, you can have a double room even.”

Steve seems to relax slightly at his permission, and he sucks in a breath. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Thank you, Stark.”

oOo

Bucky can’t help being relieved at being accepted on as an asset to the Avengers. The other agents seem a little uncertain around him, but they let him stay with Steve, which is the most important part.

Handler-Stark takes them to the aforementioned tower once Steve is discharged from the hospital, and he informs him that all his things have already been moved from his previous cell. “I thought it would be simpler that way,” Handler-Stark says, and Steve only nods quietly.

The cell Handler-Stark gives them is much nicer than any Hydra had ever given him. With Hydra, Bucky had never been allowed any things. He had had a camp bed, and his uniform, but that was mostly it.

In his cell with Steve, there is a fully stocked kitchen, where they can make their own rations (although Handler-Stark is still the one that orders the food for them), and just off the kitchen they have a living room with actual windows, and then leading out of the living room is a completely functional bathroom, and a room for each of them.

“Wow,” Steve breathes next to him, as they look over the cell. “Even now, I just can’t get used to all the space.”

Bucky nods in agreement. His cell with Hydra had been much smaller than this, and judging from Steve’s words, the man isn’t unused to small cells either.

Besides him, Steve sucks in a breath, looking over the few boxes of his things sitting on the couch. “I guess I should unpack,” he says, looking up at him. “Do you want the room on the left, or the right?”

He chooses the one on the right, next to the bathroom, before he helps Steve move his few things into the other bedroom. He doesn’t have much, just a few clothes and books and a few electronics, but even that much is surprising.

Steve glances up at him while they are folding away his clothes, his eyes glancing over his black uniform. “I guess you’ll need some clothes too,” he says after a moment. “I’ll have JARVIS order some.”

JARVIS is some kind of computer monitoring system built by Handler-Stark, and Bucky can’t help admiring the efficiency of it, even if it is a little terrifying. Handler-Stark doesn’t even need to watch them all the time, because JARVIS can always ensure their compliance.

(He remembers, when Hydra had been hunting down Target-Nicholas Fury, there had been monitoring devices in Steve’s previous cell too. He hadn't been left to his own devices, no matter how indulgent these new handlers are.)

JARVIS doesn’t seem to have a problem with Steve ordering new clothes though, and Bucky soon finds himself being allowed to take a shower for the first time in days. “You can use whatever you want in there,” Steve tells him. “I’ll see what I can make for supper in the meantime.”

One nice thing about being in a cell with Steve, is he can be certain that the man won’t let him do anything wrong. Ordinarily, with Hydra, he would never be allowed a shower the likes of which is available now. But the warm shower, and all of its products are in the cell already, and Steve had definitely been certain they are allowed, so he doesn’t worry when he makes use of them.

It’s… nice, to take a warm shower, with clean scented soap, and in the end, it doesn’t really surprise him that he and Steve might be afforded a few more luxuries in this tower than they would elsewhere.

With JARVIS, their handler can always be sure of their good behaviour, he can afford to give them more, because he will always know if they do something wrong.

The thought would be frightening, except for the fact that he has Steve here, and he knows that the other asset will make sure that he complies with all the rules and doesn’t make any mistakes.

After his shower, he has the best supper he has had in a long time (Steve had made soup, because he hadn't been sure what Hydra had fed him before, and then he had told him that they are allowed to eat solid foods, so they will be working on that soon.)

That night, he sleeps on a real bed, under real blankets.

oOo

After a few days, he isn’t sure anymore if the bed is a hundred percent allowed. JARVIS doesn’t get him in trouble for it, and Steve doesn’t mention it either, but he wakes up once to the sound of tossing and turning, and when he investigates, he finds Steve now sleeping on the floor of his room, rather than the bed.

He can’t understand that, since the beds are in the cell, but he can’t help worrying that Steve has some kind of punishment of some sort preventing him from sleeping on the bed. The idea stresses him out, because he no longer knows whether or not it is okay for him to sleep on the bed, but he doesn’t ask Steve about it.

If it is a punishment, then he might not be allowed to talk about it, or he might be embarrassed at admitting whatever failure he did to deserve the consequence. Either way, sleeping on the floor isn’t that bad of a punishment, and Bucky decides that if he ever has to do the same, that he’d prefer it over some of Hydra’s other methods.

The Avengers don’t seem inclined to use most of Hydra’s methods actually. So far, there has been no mention of cryofreeze, or his wiping protocols at all… and he finds he doesn’t mind that.

He already knows that Hydra had stolen him, and probably implemented those protocols on their own, so it would make sense that they aren’t valid here, and the Avengers don’t seem to be worried about the same kinds of malfunctions that Hydra was.

Oh, he imagines that he will still be punished if he fails a mission, but the Avengers don’t seem to care if he remembers things. Hydra had cared very much, but one of the first things Steve had asked him was whether or not he remembered him, and he hadn't seemed upset or afraid when he had admitted he could.

So remembering is okay, and wiping protocols are unnecessary, meaning that he is free to pick up the bits and pieces of his past that seem to slowly be coming back to him.

Steve seems delighted that he remembers anything at all, and Bucky can’t help being pleased by that, even if he doesn’t remember much of the ‘whole life’ thing Steve had claimed.

“Our Hydra missions were some of our most recent times together,” Steve tells him as they sit on the couch the next day. “It might take longer for you to remember the later stuff.”

The explanation makes sense to him, and he is left to sift through his meager memories, and try to figure out what his purpose now as an asset is.

“What… are the rules of this place?” he asks Steve, a few days after their arrival, hoping his fellow asset can shed some light on the situation. So far, they have yet to be called from their cell for a mission, and Steve seems to be mostly taking it easy after his injuries, spending most of his time either sleeping, or working on mission reports and communicating over the electronics he is allowed.

Steve blinks at the question. “What do you mean?” he asks, and Bucky swallows.

“We are allowed names here,” he says, indicating the cell. “And food, and showers. It isn’t the same as Hydra. I don’t know the rules.”

Steve’s face does something complicated and he looks almost pained as he looks at him. “Bucky…” He swallows and presses his lips together. “I know things are really confusing right now,” he says. “I don’t— I don’t know everything Hydra did to you, but I promise you’re safe here. Of course we are allowed food, and showers, and— and names.”

His speech probably isn’t as helpful as he thinks, because Bucky had already known that those things are permitted in the cell, but he nods anyways, watching Steve’s shoulders relax slightly. The subject of rules seems to upset him – which he supposes is natural – so he doesn’t bring it up again, trusting that Steve will prevent him from committing any major faux-pas during his stay here.

Chapter Text

They aren’t left alone in their cell forever. About a week after their arrival, JARVIS calls them up for an Avengers meeting, and Bucky finds himself sitting next to Steve at a large table as the man gives his official mission report to the waiting agents.

He is different than he is in their cell. Here, he is stiffer, his shoulders tight and his voice controlled as he speaks to the other agents. His change of behaviour isn’t really that surprising, since Bucky imagines he is acting more as the Captain right now, rather than as Steve, but— he finds he likes Steve better than the Captain.

Steve sits down smoothly after his report, and Agent Romanoff takes over, explaining the government response to their mission, before beginning to outline their next options.

“Bruce isn’t here,” she says, her eyes on Steve. “But we have Clint, and Tony, we should be able to hunt down some of Hydra before they flee too deep.”

Steve nods for a moment, before Handler-Stark speaks up. “What about Barnes?” he asks, folding his arms. “What’s he up to?”

Bucky swallows uneasily at being addressed by his handler, and he sees Steve glance at him, his shoulders almost achingly stiff. “We haven’t really had a chance to figure that out,” he says slowly. “I don’t know… Bucky—”

It’s obvious that Steve doesn’t want to disappoint his handler, but he also isn’t sure how to respond, and Bucky takes over, hoping to relieve him of some of the stress. “I can go on missions,” he says to the table at large. “I can help take down Hydra.”

Across from him, Agent Romanoff shifts, her eyes glancing over him. “Just like that?” she asks, and Bucky stares at her, not understanding her meaning.

“Yeah,” Handler-Stark speaks up again, drawing his gaze. “I mean, don’t take offense or anything, but how do we know you’re up for that? I know what Cap said about brainwashing or whatever, but how do we know you’re not still brainwashed?”

Bucky swallows heavily and draws in a breath, his hands tightening together under the table as he opens his mouth to answer. “I—" He chokes off as Handler-Stark’s question repeats in his mind. How do we know you’re not still brainwashed?

He pales and a sudden swoop of horror opens up in his gut as he remembers something very important about Hydra’s brainwashing. “Hydra has trigger-words,” he admits hollowly, his heart beginning to pound in his chest. “They can— they can control me with those.”

“What?!” Handler-Stark gasps, and it takes everything in him not to shrink away as he sits up. “You’re saying they could just show up, waltz around, say a few words, and set you off on us again?”

He feels more than sees Steve tense next to him. “Tony—” he begins sharply, and Bucky rushes to mitigate the situation, not wanting Steve to get riled up at their handler and get in trouble.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I’m sorry, I forgot. But I’m not— without the words I’m not under Hydra’s control.”

Silence falls for a moment after his statement, and he waits tensely to find out whether or not his apology will be accepted. At the head of the table, Handler-Stark lets out a long breath, waving his hand. “Just, don’t murder us in our beds,” he says. “That’s all I’m asking.”

Bucky nods a little uncertainly and finds Steve nudging his foot with his own. “It’s okay,” he says lowly, his shoulders still stiff. “We’ll figure it out.”

Across from them, Agent Romanoff speaks up, her hands clasped in front of her. “The trigger words will be a problem in the field though,” she says, looking at Steve. “Even if he wants to come on missions, it’ll be too dangerous until we are sure they can’t control him anymore.”

Steve accepts her statement and settles back in compliance, and Bucky finds Agent Romanoff’s eyes turning to him. “You can still help though,” she tells him. “We could certainly use whatever intel you have on Hydra.”

He doesn’t exactly enjoy talking about Hydra, since it brings up a lot of painful memories, but he gives them what he knows. “I don’t remember most of my missions yet,” he tells them. “But I remember some of the bases I served at.”

Agent Romanoff notes down each and every one of them with deliberation, and he can’t help feeling a little relieved that he can still be of use, even if he can’t go on missions right now.

“Let me know if you remember more,” she tells him, and he nods at the order.

After his report, the Avengers discuss several of the different bases as their first target, and Steve remains in his tense Captain-persona as he hashes out strategy with them, the Avengers at least respecting him enough to let him talk.

Bucky knows that with Hydra, he would have never been allowed this much planning freedom on a mission, but he is glad that here seems to be a little different. It is clear to him that Steve is skilled in this area, and it would probably be a mistake on Handler-Stark’s part to try to limit that.

For his part, Handler-Stark seems content to let the meeting lead itself, only chiming in once and a while with relevant information when called upon. It isn’t until the end of the meeting though, that he shifts and unfolds his arms, looking up.

“Got a surprise for you, Cap,” he announces, and Bucky tries not to tense, his eyes suddenly pinned on their handler. Surprises with Hydra had never been a good thing — although he isn’t sure why Handler-Stark would do something bad now, since it had seemed that Steve had been doing his job admirably.

His heart claws into his throat as he watches Handler-Stark bend down to grab something from underneath the table, and he feels Steve give him another comforting nudge with his foot as they wait to see what their handler will do.

The man sits up, and in his hands is Steve’s shield. “Thought you might want this,” he says, setting it on the table and sliding it down to Steve. “Don’t lose it again though. Seriously. Do you know how long I flew over the Potomac scanning for this thing?”

Steve’s head ducks slightly at the reprimand, and Bucky watches his hands ghost over the shield, remembering how he had dropped the thing into the water when he had refused to fight him. His eyes dart to Handler-Stark, and he is glad at least that the man doesn’t seem too upset.

He does wonder though, if maybe this is the reason why Steve is sleeping on the floor most nights. Maybe he is being punished for losing his equipment.

oOo

The Avengers leave a few days afterwards for their first raid on Hydra, and Steve goes with them. It is clear to him though, that he seems conflicted about it, dithering in the room uncertainly on the day of the mission, going over last-minute checks with him and seeming to avoid leaving.

“If you need anything, you can just ask JARVIS,” he reminds him, fiddling with the gloves of his uniform. “And,” he glances up at him. “You know how to make the food that you want?”

Bucky nods, because Steve had already spent the last few days showing him how, and Steve nods back at him, his throat flexing as he swallows.

“Okay,” he says, shifting his feet and looking up at him. “We’ll probably only be gone for a day or two, so—”

He gets cut off as JARVIS speaks up. “Captain Rogers,” he says, and Steve looks up at the title. “The Avengers are ready and waiting for you in the common room.”

Steve’s lips press together at the order, and Bucky feels a flare of alarm at making the Avengers wait any longer. Steve obviously doesn’t want to leave him behind, but it isn’t like he has much choice, given what his handlers have ordered, and it would probably be best for both of them if Steve complies soon.

“It’s okay,” Bucky tells him, drawing his gaze. “I’ll be okay. You can go on your mission.”

Steve gives him a tight smile at his words, and he fiddles with his cuffs for a moment before stooping down to grab his shield. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Alright. I’ll— I’ll see you after?”

There is something uncertain in his eyes at the question, but he seems to relax at Bucky’s nod.

The cell is more boring without Steve, but nowhere near as tedious as Hydra’s cells had been. Here he can take care of most of his maintenance himself, and he even has a few venues for entertainment, if he wants.

JARVIS helps him a little with the TV, which is relieving, since it means that he is for sure watching only what is allowed, and he even reads a few of Steve’s books – since his fellow asset had been sure to give him permission before he had left.

A part of him is a little surprise that his freedoms are still so broad, considering the fact that he isn’t exactly a useful asset right now, but Steve hadn't seemed that surprised, so he tries not to worry about it.

oOo

“Sergeant Barnes?”

In his room, he looks up. Sergeant Barnes seems to be JARVIS’ title for him, and he listens as the AI continues. “The Avengers are returning.”

He nods, and moves to the living room to wait. JARVIS hadn't explicitly told him he could go up to meet them, and so far he doesn't think that he and Steve have ever left their cell without invitation, so he doesn’t go up to meet Steve. Instead he waits inside, like he had for the duration of the mission.

It doesn’t take long for Steve to come back, and he looks up with anticipation as the door to their cell opens, admitting a tired looking Steve. He moves forward to greet him, his eyes flicking over the worn lines of the man’s face as he steps closer.

He doesn’t look injured at least, but he looks exhausted, and Bucky finds his stomach churning as he tries not to think of how hard he must have been worked during the mission.

Steve’s face seems to brighten slightly as he sees him though, his eyes widening for a second before he marches forward, nearly crashing into him as he envelopes him in a hug. Bucky’s breath catches for a moment at the sudden contact, but Steve’s grip is solid and warm, and from his vague memories, he thinks that touch between assets is okay.

To that end, he finds his arms slowly coming up around Steve too, his mind spinning as he tries to figure out if something is wrong with his fellow asset. “Steve?” he asks tentatively. “Are you okay? Did the mission go wrong?”

Maybe he had failed in his mission somehow, maybe Handler-Stark had punished him—

Steve sniffs and pulls back slightly, his eyes glassy. “Sorry,” he says roughly, giving his head a shake. His hand comes up to wipe his eyes and he clears his throat, his shoulders straightening to almost Captain-like stiffness. “Sorry, I just—” His eyes dart over him. “The base we raided, it was the one in D.C.”

Bucky nods, because he can remember that part of the plan, and he watches Steve breathe in, drawing back into his Captain-self a bit more. “It just— it had some things in it, about how Hydra treated you.” His lips press into a thin line and he breathes in again, his hand dropping away as he pulls back, his jaw clenching almost as tight as his shoulders.

Bucky finds he doesn’t like that. Steve is stiffening up like what he does when he is the Captain, but he doesn’t have to do that here. They are in their cell, and they are off-mission. Steve had told him that they are safe. He doesn’t have to be the Captain here.

He clenches his jaw and reaches for Steve’s hand again, not missing the blink of surprise he gets at the touch. “It’s okay,” he says softly, aware that confronting Hydra’s misuse of him had probably been upsetting for Steve – considering what seems to be standard treatment of assets here – and he knows that Steve probably hadn't been allowed to express any of that while on mission.

Handler-Stark and the Avengers may be lenient, but even they would not appreciate their asset malfunctioning while on mission.

But he is here now, and he doesn’t have to worry about that. Bucky tugs on his hand slightly and leads him back to the kitchen, mentally calculating what he can make from the rations they are allotted. “Have you had anything yet?” he asks Steve, and the man shakes his head mutely at him.

Bucky glances again at the tired lines of Steve’s face, and he thinks that it is a good thing that he is here today to help Steve after his mission. Handler-Stark’s method may be more liberal than Hydra’s, but it does mean that Steve always has to be fully functional, if he wants to benefit from his privileges.

He wonders how long it would take for JARVIS to call someone in, if Steve couldn’t make his rations, and he wonders how much trouble Steve would get in, if that were to happen.

He shakes his head. It doesn’t matter. He is here, he will take care of Steve, and then Steve will rest from his mission, and maybe tonight he will be allowed to sleep in his bed.

oOo

Steve sleeps badly that night.

He stays awake for a while listening to it as Steve tosses and turns, before finally succumbing to moving to the floor again. He isn’t sure yet if sleeping on the floor is a long-standing punishment for not being able to sleep well in a bed, or if Steve isn’t supposed to be on the bed at all, and he fights the order for a while before finally giving in.

Either way… part of him wishes that Steve were allowed to sleep properly on the bed, even if sleeping on the floor isn’t really that bad of a punishment. It feels… different, being with another asset, and seeing him be punished.

He wouldn’t mind if it were him being punished. But… he finds he does mind it, a little, when it’s Steve.

In the morning, they wake up to have their morning rations, and Steve informs him that they are going to have another debriefing meeting. “Bruce will be here this time,” he tells him, and Bucky reminds himself quickly that this must be Doctor Bruce Banner, another agent of the Avengers team. “I think he was doing some charity work somewhere else,” Steve continues as they begin to clean up after their meal. “But he’s back again, after Hydra.”

Bucky can’t help being glad at the warning that there will be another agent for him to learn to navigate at the meeting. So far, the Avenger agents haven’t been extremely difficult or antagonistic towards him, but he has only been here a short time, and he is still learning what to expect here.

Steve doesn’t really seem worried for the meeting though. He looks tired, and he looks like he would much rather not be going, but Bucky already knows that he will comply. Mission reports and debriefing meetings are required for assets, and he doubts that the Avengers will be lenient enough to let Steve rest for a little while longer.

He is glad he can come with him though. He probably won’t be able to do much – if something happens during the meeting – but if Steve malfunctions, he can maybe at least try to cover for him.

He doesn’t think he will malfunction though, already, as they head out towards the elevator, he can see Steve shifting back into the Captain, his shoulders pulling back and his face smoothing out into determined neutrality. He looks stoic, instead of tired, and he looks like he could probably lead a hundred more missions if he needed to.

Bucky finds he doesn’t like that look on his face though. He can see why the Avengers prefer it, but he likes Steve, better than the Captain.

He pulls back a little into the Asset too though, just to be safe, and he darts his eyes around the meeting room when they arrive, the room empty besides the two of them. Steve takes a seat on the long side of the table, near the front of the room, and Bucky steps over to sit next to him. It is the same seats they had had last time, but as the Avengers begin to filter in, it becomes clear to him that the rest of them don’t seem to have assigned seating.

Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton come in and sit next to each other, but they sit on the other end of the table, barely giving either of them a glance as they continue the conversation they had come in with. Next comes Handler-Stark, a few minutes later, the man’s head buried in a tablet as he takes a seat a few chairs down from them, clearly oblivious to nearly everyone around him.

It’s another few minutes still, before Agent Banner comes in, and he ducks into the room a little awkwardly, his shoulders hunched as he comes around and takes a seat right across from him and Steve. “Sorry I’m late,” he says to the room in general. “I just got caught up on something.”

Steve gives him a slight smile, which piques Bucky’s interest, and Agent Banner smiles back as he settles into his chair. “It’s good to see you, Steve,” he says. “How have you been?”

Bucky doesn’t mean to give a start, he really doesn’t, but he absolutely had not been expecting Steve’s name to slip out of Agent Banner’s mouth, and he can’t help staring at the man, his eyes wide with shock.

Evidently his reaction cuts off any reply Steve could have made, because his fellow asset turns to him instead, his eyes flickering over him in concern. “Bucky?” he says uncertainly. “Are you okay?”

Bucky realises abruptly that his heart is pounding rather heavily in his chest, and he swallows dryly, aware of the growing silence in the room around him. He hadn't been intending to make a scene, but everyone seems to have noticed now, and Steve is still looking at him in confusion.

He presses his lips together and flicks his eyes over to Handler-Stark for a moment, finding the man looking at him too now, his hand paused over his tablet. Bucky’s skin crawls at the attention, and he realises that he is going to have to answer Steve’s question. Everyone is looking at him, he can’t just stay quiet.

He swallows again and tries to clear his throat, his eyes darting back to Steve and then over to Agent Banner. “I—” His hands tighten into fists on his knees. “He said your name,” he gets out, his eyes going back to Steve. “I thought— I thought agents didn’t refer to assets by name.” He breathes in and grits his teeth, tension straining in his shoulders as anxiety twists around in his stomach. “Is— is Agent Banner also an asset?”

He keeps his eyes focused almost desperately on Steve, because he is pretty sure he is speaking out of turn, and he doesn’t want to look at the other agents around him right now. Steve seems completely frozen in his chair, his face pale as he stares at Bucky.

The expression is not promising, and Bucky tries not to panic as his mind rushes through what kinds of punishments he might be introduced to after this. The Avengers don’t have cryofreeze or wiping protocols, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a whole host of other things they can do.

In front of him, Steve swallows heavily, his eyes darting over him in the silence. “You mean—” he starts finally. “You mean, asset like, like what Hydra called you?”

Bucky nods a little uncertainly, unsure of where Steve is going with this, and still fully aware of the gaze of everyone else in the room on them. Steve sucks in a breath, and Bucky keeps his eyes on him, his hands beginning to shake slightly under the table.

“Okay,” Steve says slowly, his hand pressing flat onto the table. “And, why… would Bruce be an asset?”

Bucky winces suddenly as he remembers that the other Avengers have already used Agent Banner’s name in front of him. He shouldn’t have assumed that the man is an asset. He had just insulted him completely, and he had done it in front of all the Avengers. His tongue presses to the roof of his mouth, and he tries to explain.

“I’m sorry,” he says tightly, his shoulders drawing together. “I’m sorry. He— he used your name. I thought— I thought that only other assets could use each other’s names, instead of their titles.”

Steve stares at him. “Other… assets,” he says slowly, before his eyes widen, his mouth dropping open. “You think—” His throat flexes and he cuts off. “You think I am an asset too? Like, like what Hydra did?”

Bucky presses his shaking hands to his knees and darts his eyes nervously around the room, aware of every eye on him. He tries to breathe in evenly. “The handlers here are different than Hydra,” he says quickly, hoping that they won’t think that he isn’t grateful for the freedoms he has been allowed so far. “It’s—” His throat closes up and he breathes in thinly, wishing that he hadn't spoken up at all.

Someone shifts out of the corner of his eye, and he looks over to see Agent Barton looking at him. “You keep mentioning Cap’s name,” he says, his brow furled slightly. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

Bucky stares at him, his mind stalling for a second. He must— surely he must know.

“Assets don’t have names,” he tells Agent Barton slowly. “They have titles. My title is ‘the Asset’, ‘Barnes’, or ‘Sergeant Barnes’.” He glances over at Steve, and finds the man staring at him mutely. He swallows uneasily, and looks back at Agent Barton. “Your asset’s title is ‘Captain’, ‘Cap’, ‘Rogers’, or ‘Captain Rogers’.”

Silence falls for a moment, before Handler-Stark lets out a sort of strangled noise. “But—” he gets out. “But he does have a name.”

Bucky isn’t exactly sure what to do with that statement, but he nods carefully. “Only I call the Captain ‘Steve’,” he says, darting his eyes around the table. “I thought— only assets could call other assets names while off-mission. Nobody else uses it. Only me. Steve calls me Bucky, and I call him Steve, but nobody else— not until Agent Banner.”

He lets out a shaky breath as he looks at Agent Banner, not sure yet if the man is angry at him for thinking that he was an asset. The man doesn’t seem angry though, instead he seems to be watching him with something almost sad in his eyes.

“Are there any other reasons you thought Steve was an asset?” he asks him quietly.

Bucky’s mouth is dry as he swallows, and he doesn’t understand why he is being asked the question, but he will answer it anyways. He sucks in a breath and squares his shoulders. “Steve is the Captain while he is on missions, or while he is working with the Avengers,” he starts, his eyes dropping down to focus onto an arbitrary spot on the table. “Just like Bucky is the Asset when he goes on missions or works with Hydra.”

His eyes dart to Steve for a moment and he licks his lips. “The Captain must go on missions, even if he doesn’t want to,” he lists off, remembering what he had noted earlier. “The Captain is not sedated during surgery. The Captain must hide his malfunctions. The Captain and the Asset are provided a cell by their handler.”

That seems to cause a stir, but he continues doggedly. “The Captain and the Asset are provided rations and provisions by their handler. The Captain and the Asset are monitored by JARVIS, and the Captain was monitored previously by SHIELD.”

The room remains completely silent as he speaks, and he finds his hands pressing almost painfully into his knees. “Avenger agents receive the Captain’s damage reports and mission reports,” he continues, focusing back on the table. “The Captain and the Asset do not leave their cell outside of missions or other duties. The Captain and the Asset do not interact with their handlers or agents outside of missions or other duties.”

He sucks in a breath and lists off his final observation. “The Captain is not permitted to sleep in his bed.”

That gets a reaction. “What?” Handler-Stark sputters, before he turns to Steve. “What is he talking about?”

Worry twists sudden and sharp in his stomach and Bucky darts his eyes to Steve, worried that he has now gotten him in trouble with his handler.

Beside him, Steve’s face is drawn and pale, and he licks his lips for a moment before answering Handler-Stark, his eyes focused distantly on the table. “I have… trouble sleeping on my bed,” he gets out faintly. “Most of the time it’s too soft for me.”

Bucky’s eyes widen at his admission, and he realises suddenly that the sleeping on the floor thing hadn't been a punishment, but instead it had been a malfunction, a malfunction of which he had just blurted out to all the Avengers.

Regret settles clumsily in his gut and his breath stutters slightly, the tension in the room seeming to multiply ten-fold.

“Well why didn’t you say something?” Handler-Stark continues, his voice rising a bit.

Steve’s chin ducks ever so slightly, and Bucky stays very, very still. “It wasn’t that important,” Steve mumbles, not looking up, and Handler-Stark opens his mouth again, obviously not impressed.

“Bucky.”

He looks up as Agent Banner calls his name, cutting into the conversation. He finds the man looking at him, his hands clasped together on top of the table. “You said, you didn’t leave your cell,” he says evenly. “And you said no one visited your cell either, right?”

Bucky nods, swallowing sharply. “Only for missions or other duties,” he gets out.

Agent Banner nods slowly, and his eyes flick up over the table. “So, you’re telling me,” he says, his voice drifting into an icy calm. “That Steve came here after taking down Hydra, and finding Bucky again, and nobody checked on him. Not even once.”

Silence falls, as heavy as a blanket, and Steve shifts, his lips a pale line. “It was my fault too,” he says, his voice tight. “I didn’t realise— I should have tried to leave the room with Bucky. I just—”

Agent Banner looks over, and his face softens slightly. “It’s not your fault, Steve,” he says, almost gently. “You have enough on your plate right now.” He looks back over to the other Avengers. “Something which it seems none of us noticed.”

Handler-Stark swallows uneasily and fiddles slightly with his tablet. “It’s not like that’s what we meant to have happen,” he says, not quite meeting Agent Banner’s eyes. “I— I figured JARVIS would say something if there was a problem—”

“So you were going to wait until he had a breakdown first, is that it?” Agent Banner cuts in, his hands tightening slightly. “Because I know JARVIS’ privacy protocols would keep him from speaking up otherwise.”

Handler-Stark’s head darts up. “No!” he says sharply, Bucky just barely managing to keep from flinching away at the sound. “No, I just—”

“Bruce,” Steve says quietly, drawing the room’s attention to him. “It’s okay, it’s fine.”

Bruce’s mouth twitches for a moment and he glances back at Steve. “It’s not fine,” he says, never letting up on his intense gaze. “Is what he said about your name true too? Do people call you by your name?”

Steve’s eyes drop, and he stares at the table in silence for a moment, the eyes of every Avenger pinned on his motionless form. “No,” he says finally, his voice almost a whisper. “No–” He looks up and lets out a bitter laugh. “No, nobody calls me by my name. Besides Bucky, I can probably count on both hands the amount of times someone has called me by my first name.”

His eyes are hard before he drops them back down to the table, and Bucky sees Clint shifting uncomfortably. “It— we didn’t mean it like that—” he gets out, and Steve looks up.

“I know,” he says stiffly. “But he isn’t wrong about the Captain thing.” He shudders and gives another bitter laugh. “In a weird, twisted way, he isn’t wrong. I woke up here, and people needed Captain America more than they needed Steve Rogers, and—”

He swallows and his hand clenches. “And they might start off by calling you Captain out of respect, but after a while it doesn’t really matter, because when you wake up seventy-years in the future and everyone you know is dead, suddenly no one is close enough to you to call you by your first name, and all you get is respect and hero-worship.”

He lets out a sharp breath, and glances away, his hand shaking slightly as he lifts it to run it through his hair. “I remember,” he gets out tightly. “Bruce was the first person— I’d been awake for two weeks, and he was the first person to actually use my name—”

He chokes off, and his eyes blink rapidly for a moment, before he sucks in a breath and his shoulders square, his Captain-persona shutting over him suddenly like a slamming door. “I’m— going to go now,” he says blankly, standing up in a shaky, abrupt movement.

“Wait—” Agent Barton starts to speak up, and Steve shakes his head, his jaw clenched tight.

“I’m sorry, we— we can do the meeting later,” he gets out, and Bucky stands to follow him, worry twisting around in his stomach. “I just— need, to not be here right now,” Steve continues, his eyes not quite meeting anyone else’s as he makes a hasty retreat out of the room.

Bucky makes to follow him, but gets stopped by Agent Romanoff, the woman speaking up for the first time since Agent Banner had come in. “Bar– Bucky,” she says quietly, her eyes flicking from the door to him. “Is that— was that the kind of thing, the kind of malfunction that you said the Captain had to hide?”

Bucky stares at her for a moment, before he nods. “Yes,” he says.

oOo

Unease swirls around in his stomach as he makes his way back to their cell, assuming that is where Steve had been headed. The conversation back in the meeting room hadn't… gone the way he had been expecting. Everyone had seemed… surprised that he had thought of Steve like an asset.

But, they hadn't exactly been mad at him for what he had thought, instead Agent Banner had almost seemed upset with the other Avengers. The concept is a little baffling to be honest, but in the end, it is not his most pressing worry.

What he is most worried about is Steve now. Steve had seemed… distressed, by what he had said, and he isn’t sure if it is because he thought the Avengers would become angry at the topic, or – or because of something else.

Either way, Steve is upset, and he reaches the door to their cell and eases it open, his ears pricked for any sounds from within. He hears Steve moving around in the kitchen, and he comes in to find him using the kettle, seeming to be preparing tea with restless hands.

Steve looks up as he approaches, and his eyes skitter off him and back down to his preparations. “Do you want some?” he asks a little roughly, his Captain-persona not quite gone yet and evident in the stiffness of his shoulders as he moves.

Bucky nods silently as he sits down across from Steve at the counter, and he waits quietly as Steve makes them both a mug, before settling down heavily across from him.

His tiredness is evident again, and Bucky presses his lips together at the haggardness of his face, Steve seeming to mostly stare into his mug, rather than drink from it. Bucky’s hands clench around his own cup and he swallows uneasily, his eyes trained on Steve.

This is not what he had been expecting when he had spoken up in the meeting. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, because he isn’t sure what else to do, and Steve looks up to him finally, emotion swirling around in his eyes, before he blinks and sucks in a deep breath.

“It’s not your fault,” he says, just as quietly, his shoulders slumping. “I… I should have explained things better when we came here. I didn’t realise…” He pulls in another breath and flicks his eyes over him. “Do… do you really think I am an— another asset? Like you were with Hydra?”

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. From Steve’s words, and everyone’s reaction back in the meeting room, he is beginning to think that he had been wrong about that conclusion. He opens his mouth to try to explain. “In the Helicarrier,” he starts. “You said I knew you for my whole life.”

Steve nods slowly, like he doesn’t understand, and Bucky continues. “I knew you were right,” he says, his thumb running restlessly over the ceramic of his mug. “I knew I knew you, but the only way for the Asset to know someone for so long, is if the person is a handler, agent, or another asset.”

He meets Steve’s eyes, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. “The— the other agents came, and I knew they were agents, and— and we went on missions together, but you weren’t a handler, and the other agents treated you like an asset, so…”

He trails off and watches Steve rub a hand over his face. The man lets out a breath for a second and takes a shaky sip of his tea, his eyes flicking up to him. “Okay,” he says, setting his cup down. “I can see why you thought the way you did, but…” He scans him for a moment and sets his jaw. “We’re not assets here, Bucky,” he says. “Neither of us.”

Bucky’s stare must be as confused as he feels, because Steve continues to explain. “You knew me for your whole life because you weren’t an asset before Hydra captured you,” he says, his eyes staring into him. “We met when we were six, and we grew up together.” He can feel his eyes widen, and Steve lets out a breath. “Later, we did go on missions together,” he says. “But we were working together as equals – as a team – not as assets.”

Bucky swallows dryly and listens as Steve continues on to explain how he had ‘died’ fighting Hydra, and how Steve had also almost died, trying to stop a Hydra plane full of bombs. “After that, I woke up here,” he says. “But most people didn’t know me anymore, so…”

His hand shakes slightly on his mug and he takes a sip of his drink, Bucky copying him automatically as he thinks over the magnitude of everything that Steve had just told him. “I—” Steve’s eyes dart to him, and Bucky’s tongue flexes in his mouth. “I don’t remember most of that,” he admits. “I didn’t know I wasn’t— wasn’t an asset. I don’t remember.”

Steve’s shoulders slump further, but his face softens, and he reaches out to grasp at his hand. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “After what Hydra did to you, it isn’t surprising that such a big change would be difficult to understand.” He offers him a small smile. “You can remember a little though, at least,” he says. “So, maybe you might be able to remember more with time.”

Bucky nods slowly, and blinks away a slight wetness in his eyes, his hand squeezing at Steve’s. “I…” He rolls his shoulders a little uncomfortably. “I’m… not very good at not being an asset.”

Steve lets out a startled laugh at his words, and Bucky stares at him in slight confusion for a moment, before Steve pulls back and wipes at his eyes, looking up at him. “Well,” he says roughly. “I think it is abundantly clear that I am not very good at that either, so I guess we’ll just have to figure that out together.”

Bucky relaxes slightly and he nods, finding himself smiling. “Yeah,” he says softly.

oOo

Things change after his statement at the meeting. Steve takes him out of the room (it isn’t a cell, he explains, and Bucky supposes that would explain why it is so nice), and he gives him a tour of the tower.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do this before,” he says, as he shows him the common room. “I just, haven't really been here before either, and the last week or so has been a bit overwhelming.”

Bucky nods at that, and follows quietly, still getting used to the idea that he isn’t an asset, and that there isn’t a set group of rules and expectations he has to follow now. He imagines it will take a while for him to get comfortable with that, but, like Steve had said, it seems like the both of them need to work on changing their habits, and the idea of that helps a little.

The other Avengers change a little towards Steve too. He thinks it’s a little awkward for them, since they are suddenly having to renavigate boundaries that they hadn't even known were there, but they seem to be trying, and that alone is enough to convince him that they probably hadn't meant to act like agents around Steve.

Their names get used more often – and even if he knows the change is mostly due to what he had said, he still appreciates it. Steve seems to be trying too, the effort to reconnect a two-way street, and Bucky himself does his best to think of the Avengers by their first names, rather than as agents.

It takes a few days of stilted conversation before Clint discovers that Steve’s knowledge of pop culture is severely lacking, and he insists immediately that he introduce the both of them to movie ‘classics’. It doesn’t take long for the other Avengers to join them, and after that it actually does feel like they are connecting better now, because they have something of interest to talk about, besides missions and fighting.

Their room is less isolated too now. He is in his bedroom when he hears a knock on the front door, and Steve answers before he can, the sound of Handl— Tony’s voice drifting down the hall as the two men talk.

“Right,” he hears Tony say in a determined tone of voice. “So. I was thinking, you said your mattress was too soft for you, right?”

Steve seems to stay silent for a few moments in surprise, before he answers back. “Yeah,” he says finally. “It’s— I think it’s just a thing some soldiers have trouble with, Sam told me he had the same problem coming back.”

Tony’s voice returns. “Well,” he hears him say decisively. “Beds are kind of pointless if you can’t sleep in them, so, I just wanted to see if—” He pauses for a second and starts up again. “I was thinking we could get a different one. There are lots of different kinds, you know, and I’m sure we could find something better.”

Steve is silent for a moment as he thinks, and Bucky remains motionless in his room as he listens. Before, he might have thought of this conversation as some kind of meeting between handler and asset. He might have thought that Tony was simply fulfilling his handler duties by providing Steve with a proper mattress.

Now though… now he doesn't think that is what is happening.

He hears Steve shift and draw in a breath. “Sure,” he says, his voice growing more determined as he speaks. “Sure, that— that would be nice. Thank you, Tony.”

He can’t see Tony’s reaction to his statement, but the man’s voice is both excited and relieved as he begins to make plans with Steve for when they will go look for a new mattress, and Bucky settles back, pleased that the two of them seem to be tentatively reaching out to each other.

He isn’t naïve enough to believe that it won’t take some time for Steve and his team to be fully comfortable with each other — they may not have been meaning to, but they really hadn't been treating Steve as, well, Steve, and now they have to confront that fact.

But they are trying – and Steve is trying too – which, he thinks, is the important part.