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Published:
2020-11-09
Updated:
2021-04-11
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10,442
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7/?
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damn, it's 7 am

Summary:

MONA HAS NO MORA: My name is Mona and if youd like to help me out a little you can PayPal me
queen of broken hearts: Mona this is not advertisement.
MONA HAS NO MORA: Shut up you scorpio moon virgo bitch
—
genshin impact go highschool (+ groupchats)

Notes:

no thought head empty just memes and some romances.
each chapter will show different grades (11, 12, 10, and repeat) and maybe ill do a twitter ones in here when im bored lol.
throughoutly self-indulgent so i apologize if it's cringy or ooc.
title from: you need to calm down - taylor swift

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: grade 11 | this bitch empty, yeet!

Summary:

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔰! 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲!
ocean man: **pleasant
ninth grade syndrome: 𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔠𝔨 𝔲𝔭

Notes:

helpful guidelines:
ITS YA BOI: bennett
ninth grade syndrome: fischl
queen of broken hearts: keqing
MONA HAS NO MORA: mona
Grr Grr Bark Bark: razor
C12H22O11: sucrose
classic starbucks bitch: venti
Xiao: xiao
ocean man: xingqiu

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

queen of broken hearts has created a groupchat!

queen of broken hearts named the grouphat

ITS YA BOI, ninth grade syndrome, MONA HAS NO MORA, Grr Grr Bark Bark, C12H22O11, classic starbucks bitch, Xiao, ocean man are now part of  the groupchat!

 

[ Grade 11th Group 2 ]

 

queen of broken hearts: Hello, everyone. As we all know, we’d be in one group for one whole year. This groupchat are just for projects only. No need to spam.

ITS YA BOI: WOWWW SO COOL THIS IS SO FUN HI GUYS

classic starbucks bitch: hello everyone~ our fun has finally begun~

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔰! 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲!

ocean man: **pleasant

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔲𝔠𝔨 𝔲𝔭

queen of broken hearts: I said don’t fucking spam.

classic starbucks bitch: hoes mad~

queen of broken hearts: If it weren’t for the laws of this school, I would’ve slaughtered you.

Xiao: who are you guys even

ITS YA BOI: ………… XIAO WHY

ocean man: what an apathetic man

Xiao: i don’t even know u

classic starbucks bitch: ha~ get ‘em xiao~

Xiao: i unfortunately know u

classic starbucks bitch: hearts been broke so many times~

C12H22O11: Everyone please calm down!

C12H22O11: Why don’t we just introduce ourselves again?

ocean man: we’ve all been together since 10th grade…

Xiao: we are?

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔢 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫!

Xiao: say what now

MONA HAS NO MORA: Whos xiao???

queen of broken hearts: You’re all terrible. How could you not know each other.

ITS YA BOI: I KNOW EVERYONE

queen of broken hearts: Yes and I thanked you for that.

Xiao: apologies queen of broekn hearts

ocean man: **broken

Xiao: ocean man i will not hesitate to cut you down

ocean man: i’d like to see you try to find who i am first

classic starbucks bitch: is this love~

ITS YA BOI: BABY DONT HURT ME

queen of broken hearts: Introduction.

queen of broken hearts: Now.

queen of broken hearts: My name is Keqing.

Xiao: as my username said im xiao

MONA HAS NO MORA: My name is Mona and if youd like to help me out a little you can PayPal me

queen of broken hearts: Mona this is not advertisement.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Shut up you scorpio moon virgo bitch

ocean man: first time seeing keqing being speechless

classic starbucks bitch: HEHEHEHHEHE~

queen of broken hearts: Just continue.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔱𝔦𝔰 𝔦, 𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔩.  𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔦𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔪 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯  𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔢𝔵𝔦𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡, "𝔦𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔠𝔥. "

queen of broken hearts: This groupchat was made 20 minutes ago and I already have thousands of regrets.

Xiao: what is she saying

MONA HAS NO MORA: Amy what the hell

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔟𝔞𝔥! 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔞𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱? 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔩!

classic starbucks bitch: how does one type like that~

ocean man: her username compliments herself it seems

ITS YA BOI: WAIT LET ME ADD HER TRANSLATOR

MONA HAS NO MORA: Oh to be rich enough to have a translator bot

ITS YA BOI: ACTUALLY ITS HER BUTLER

MONA HAS NO MORA: OH TO BE RICH ENOUHG TO HAVE A FUCKIN BUTLER KSKLKSLDLKS

Oz is now part of the groupchat!

Oz: to translate mein Fräulein’s exquitish language and vocabulary, she said her name is fischl and she is happy to be with you

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔬𝔷 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦 𝔮𝔲𝔬𝔱𝔥

ocean man: that is actually a beautiful name

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔶 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔦𝔩𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢!

queen of broken hearts: How did you know she had a translator.

ITS YA BOI: WE WERE IN THE SAME CLASS ONCE AND OZ IS ALWAYS AROUND AS FISCHL’S DICTIONARY

ITS YA BOI: BY THE WAY MY NAME IS BENNETT ITS NICE TO MEET YOU

classic starbucks bitch: the pleasure is ours~ my name is venti, friend of yours~

Xiao: you really love to rhyme

classic starbucks bitch: it is time to rhyme~ you should know it is my prime~

MONA HAS NO MORA: Whats the use of rhyming when you don’t get anything from it

classic starbucks bitch: what is the use of astrology when one has no money~

MONA HAS NO MORA: You made a point

C12H22O11: My name is Sucrose. I hope we made a good relationship!

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔦𝔣𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔱! 𝔴𝔢 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 𝔟𝔢𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫  '𝔦  𝔥𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶!

Oz: nice, let’s be friends forever.

Xiao: all she needs to type is just 5 simple letters

ITS YA BOI: LIGHTEN UP XIAO! MAYBE FISCHL WOULD BE THE YIN FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S YANG HERE!

GRR GRR BARK BARK: Razor

C12H22O11: Nice to meet you, Razor!

GRR GRR BARK BARK: K

MONA HAS NO MORA: Guess we fuond the Yang

ocean man: Razor’s bad at typing

ocean man: also it’s **found

MONA HAS NO MORA: Son of a bitch

classic starbucks bitch: xingqiu, introduce yourself already~

Xiao: xingqiu… noted

ocean man: ahaha, my name’s xingqiu

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔫𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔪'𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔟𝔩𝔲𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔶𝔲𝔢𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴?

Oz: are you the one who’s with Chongyun?

ocean man: no

GRR GRR BARK BARK: Yes

ocean man: razor, stop talking :)

classic starbucks bitch: HEEEHEEE~~ HOW ROMANTIC~~

C12H22O11: I support your relationship… whatever they are

MONA HAS NO MORA: Who is this Chongyun you’re talking about????????

Xiao: what mona said

queen of broken hearts: Once again, apathetic.

classic starbucks bitch: xiao puts the pathetic~ in apathetic~

Xiao: sleep with one eye open at night barbatos

C12H22O11: … Barbatos?

queen of broken hearts: Venti’s name.

queen of broken hearts: You all do know that Venti is a nickname.

ITS YA BOI: NO??

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔞 𝔭𝔢𝔠𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔞𝔯 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢!

queen of broken hearts: Speak for yourself.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Gemini bitches are always like this

Grr Grr Bark Bark: 😳😳

C12H22O11: I apologize! I didn’t know that!

Xiao: his parents hate him sm they named him fucking barbatos ajkajskja

ocean man: do not fret, there are names far worse than this

classic starbucks bitch: THIS IS HATE CRIME~

classic starbucks bitch: did all of you think my parents named me after a starbucks~

ocean man: ariana grande did that

classic starbucks bitch: she copied my style~

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔯, 𝔡𝔬 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔪 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫

Oz: calm down dude

MONA HAS NO MORA: Taurus moon, figures

ITS YA BOI: ITS OK WE STILL ACCEPT YOU

C12H22O11: Venti and Barbatos are both cool!

classic starbucks bitch: sucrose this is why youre my fave~

Xiao: now thats one of the biggest lie youve ever said

Grr Grr Bark Bark: you not w aether?

classic starbucks bitch: now I get how xiao knows because I told him~

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔭

classic starbucks bitch: BUT HOW DOES THIS LUPICAL KNOWS ABT THIS~

Grr Grr Bark Bark: Klee

classic starbucks bitch: I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE TELL HER~ THIS IS SUCH A BOTHER~

ITS YA BOI: WAIT I THOUGHT EVERYONE KNEW??????

classic starbucks bitch: knew what~ pls don’t be that~

MONA HAS NO MORA: Everyone at our grade knew you like him, venti

classic starbucks bitch: oh my me shut up

MONA HAS NO MORA: Buy my silence

ocean man: are we going to ignore that he implied he was a god

C12H22O11: Don’t worry, Venti! Aether doesn’t know it!

classic starbucks bitch: xiao im blaming it all on you~

Xiao: stop giving me credits

queen of broken hearts: This is a mess.

ocean man: yes, but perhaps, this could be a great start of the year, no?

queen of broken hearts: My lifespan decreased already.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔶𝔢𝔱 𝔣𝔲𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔪𝔢 𝔧𝔬𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰! 𝔞 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔷𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡'𝔰𝔱 𝔞𝔶𝔢 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔲𝔢. 𝔫𝔬𝔴, 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔲𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢

Oz: this day is good, I am happy. Let’s talk more!

ITS YA BOI: LETS GOOOO FISCHL

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔦𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢, 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡

Oz: go where my friend

queen of broken hearts: Go home and do your homework.

classic starbucks bitch: my student council captain~ look up to the sky and imagine youre flyin~

queen of broken hearts: No.

ocean man: rejection is hard, but it is just a practice for future days.

classic starbucks bitch: if this is your attempt to make me feel better~ then you’re making shaking in laughter~

Xiao: someday aether would notice you dw

classic starbucks bitch: the fact that you all think that I’m worried saddens me~ i know the best way through a man’s heart~

C12H22O11: That’s not a rhyme!

MONA HAS NO MORA: Which is…

queen of broken hearts: The fastest way to a man's heart is through the fifth left intercostal space, midclavicular line.

Xiao: I approve this

ocean man: you approve murder?

ITS YA BOI: YOOO WHO WERE KILLING

ocean man: no one? do not kill?

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔡, 𝔦 𝔰𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔭𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔩𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔢𝔶𝔢

Oz: don’t be afraid for I am here

ocean man: why are all of you down for murder

queen of broken hearts: No one is killing anyone. Not on my watch.

MONA HAS NO MORA: Buy my silence

C12H22O11: Mona, if you want, I could treat you out for lunch

MONA HAS NO MORA: Sucrose is now my favorite person everyone else could go and die in parking lot

ITS YA BOI: SHES SAGITTARIUS THO

MONA HAS NO MORA: I- I still l- love Suc---

Xiao: my dick

classic starbucks bitch: we’re sucking xiao now? how disgusting~

Xiao: meet me at the hallway right now

queen of broken hearts: No fighting in the hallway.

ocean man: fight fire with flame

Grr Grr Bark Bark: No fight. Not good.

ninth grade syndrome: 𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔨𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔭𝔥𝔢𝔠𝔶!

Oz: he speaks the truth

queen of broken hearts changed the groupchat name to “bunch of dumbasses”!

MONA HAS NO MORA: Well that’s befitting

ocean man: aw, keqing, are you saying that you’re one of us too

queen of broken hearts: I guess you’re right.

queen of broken hearts changed the groupchat name to “bunch of dumbasses + keqing”!

classic starbucks bitch: nice going ocean man~

Notes:

still a bit rocky cause im trying to find their dynamics but hope you enjoyed it!