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Published:
2021-01-25
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2021-05-23
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To Boldly Go

Chapter 3

Summary:

When Dean isn’t working a case and can’t sleep, he writes. He spends a lot of sleepless nights in Lisa’s house.

Notes:

Chapter 2 serves as a kind of overlay for chapter 1 and the beginning of this chapter. This one picks up pretty much where 1 left off, continuing the first chapter’s exclusive focus on Dean’s fic. Once again, any resemblance to real fics or usernames is unintentional.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

What Is and What Can Never Be by Impala67

📜 Movies >> Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Rated: M, English, J. Kirk, Spock, Words: 22k+, Favs: 1k+, Follows: 984, Published: December 29, 2006, Updated: October 8, 2007

 

Title: What Is and What Can Never Be

Author: Impala67

Movie: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Rating: M

Summary: Jim wakes up next to Spock. He makes breakfast in the replicator and watches the stars streak past. He goes to the bridge and gives commands and looks at his crew standing all around him. He is happy.

 

A/N: This happens between Wrath of Khan and Search for Spock, so it could have been in either category, but Khan is better so that’s where it’s going. It’s not canon compliant with III, but it doesn’t contradict IV at all (because my dad raised me to be fucking respectful). I’m Gene Roddenberry, I own these characters, I do what I want. This one doesn’t have any warnings besides the usual suspects for the M rating, it’s just fucking depressing. Kids don’t read, etc.

 

💬 for What Is and What Can Never Be

 

Kirklover1230

As always, this is fantastic! All your fics are so REAL, even though the premise is always totally wild. It really does give me the same feeling of wonder and at the same time emotional/psychological groundedness that TOS does. I don’t know how you capture that so well, but every time I’m amazed all over again!

 

BlueFootedBooby

I can’t BELIEVE you are literally retconning ST3 you absolute icon

 

Guest

You can’t top hooker fic but you sure do try. Lucky for us

 

Dreamweaver98

I absolutely loved this! It actually reminds me of your earlier fic And Nothing Hurt, because it has the same two things that I loved about that one: interesting aliens and false perceptions (the little details like the blue glow that begins to cast doubt on “reality”...) that lead to a slow disillusionment that the reader feels just as much as Jim does. It really draws you into the story and makes it seem real. (Also I have to admit I’m a sucker for the ambiguous endings.)

I love how creative and original the alien race you invented is, how they’ve evolved out of ever feeling happiness, so they actually have an understandable reason to trap you in your head, living out everything you ever wanted—so they can watch and experience the happiness you feel vicariously. And of course the thing Jim wants most is for Spock and his brother to both be alive!

 

GwendolynBooks

Oh my GOD this is so good!!! The gap between 2 and 3 was really the perfect place to situate this. Both because it makes sense and because it lessens the sting of Jim having to come out of the dream. The only thing that makes it better is knowing that Spock’s not really dead, and they’ll be together again soon enough!

 

Sateen

Another instant classic

 

George Takei

Yes you finished it, I’m so pumped!!!! You’re always like “yeah I don’t use a beta you’ll just have to deal with my shitty writing straight no chaser” *proceeds to write one of the best fics in the fandom* like it’s good to see a god stay humble

Anyway! This was very good and also I hate you. Why must you depress me like this. I PMed you by the way. It’s just some incoherent yelling. It’ll probably be a few days before I can give you a proper review but when I do you better watch out

 

2ErrIsHuman

Omg what a cliffhanger! If I have to wait for the last chapter I might actually combust.

 

CrackABottle

You’re evil for that cliffhanger dude...

 

Bee23

Oh my god the SUSPENSE is KILLING meeeee!

 

TangoFoxtrot

This fic is really good so far, I’m excited to see how it ends. Thanks for sharing!

 

Guest

What kind of drugs did you take to write this? And where can I find some?

 

batarang

Dude you really need to learn how to write Good Aliens that aren’t Vulcans. Like not good as in well-thought-out but like morally good. Damn

 

NotoriousBFG

Nice work man! This chapter just about knocked my socks off!

 

My O My

This is so SAD omg! I thought after make your mind up I’d cried all the tears I had over your fic but clearly I was WRONG! Poor Jim...

 

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A Simple Misunderstanding by Impala67

📜 Movies >> Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home Rated: K+, English, J. Kirk, Spock, Words: 5k+, Favs: 748, Follows: 683, Published: October 16, 2008

 

Title: A Simple Misunderstanding

Author: Impala67

Movie: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Rating: K+

Summary: After Spock takes a dip in the whale tank, Doctor Taylor calls the cops. Nobody believes they’re trying to save the world.

 

A/N: I wrote this fic earlier this year but never got around to posting it. It’s a missing scene from Voyage Home, aka the best Trek movie. This is definitively true because I’m Gene Roddenberry and I invented these characters, so what I say goes. Obviously, no disclaimer needed.

 

💬 for A Simple Misunderstanding

 

Kirklover1230

YOU’RE BACK!!!! I’m so happy to see a new fic from you! This is awesome and so funny. I mean, you’re not even rusty! If anything, a year off just made you sharper. The comedic timing is spot on.

 

MonsterMash

Oh my god this is hilarious!

 

KlingonWarbird

You’re right IV is the best of the motion pictures! Love this.

 

NotoriousBFG

This might be the funniest fic you’ve written yet!

 

Guest

you can really tell you’ve been to jail before

 

George Takei

I’m so happy to see you posting again!! Oh my god Adamson is suuuuuch a good OC! This whole fic is hilarious, but how they get him to finally believe them—priceless!

 

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From Perdition by Impala67

📜 TV >> StarTrek: The Original Series Rated: M, English, J. Kirk, Spock, Words: 59k+, Favs: 2k+, Follows: 3k+, Published: November 24, 2008, Updated: May 2, 2010

 

Title: From Perdition

Author: Impala67

Series: TOS

Rating: M

Summary: Jim Kirk became an astronaut because he wanted to get out of Iowa. His father wanted him to join the Navy like he had, but Jim wants wonder and surprise, not terror and boredom and blood on his hands. After taking part in an experimental test flight of a brand-new technology, his crew’s first task will be to seek out the remnants of the spaceship Alliance, Earth’s first failed mission outside the Solar System.

On an Earth where World War III never happened, Zefram Cochran never invented the warp drive, and the United Federation of Planets never came into being, a Vulcan ambassador is sent to make contact with the first man to command a spaceship that exceeded light speed. Spock, following in his father’s footsteps, has been assigned to the task. As the child of a member of the lost ship’s rescued crew, he is considered the ideal candidate for human interaction.

 

A/N: Not really sure where this one’s going yet or how long it will be. If how long the summary is gives an idea for the fic, I’d say it’s shaping up to be a monster. Since I’m Gene Roddenberry and these are my characters, I don’t need to disclaim them. This fic is rated M, so kids, turn back now.

 

💬 for From Perdition

 

MonaLisa89

Oh my god pleeeeeeease update!!!

 

Kirklover1230

You know I love ALL your fics and am so happy with all the great content you’re putting out but oh my god I want to read more of this so bad...

 

NineInTheAfternoon

I feel like this is going to be one of those fandom-defining works

 

Guest

I just now found this fic (how????) and it is AWESOME! I love how the characters are still so clearly themselves even though you shook things up in such a big way. Well done!

 

BikerChic

I actually can’t BELIEVE no one has thought of this premise before... it’s literally perfect!

 

gayflamingo

PLEASE tell me you are going to finish this

 

Four Blind Mice

Oh my god this is the best ST fic on this website and it’s not even FINISHED! My theory is that TPTB won’t let you finish it because this fic completed would be too powerful

 

Guest

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

 

acaseofyou

I know a lot of people have been bugging you about continuing this, but what you have already written is so, so good, and I’m so glad you shared this with us. Even if it never gets finished, reading it has been such a joy. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

 

Guest

I just caught up with this entire fic in one day it is SO GOOD!!! Sleep? Who needs it

 

GuessWho

Really hope you’re planning to finish this

 

misamigos

This is such a good idea and creative concept!

 

Paulina

HOW do you get Spock’s voice so perfect? I can literally hear him saying every piece of dialogue in my head so clearly!

 

Frindle180

*banging on the table* UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE

 

megalomaniac

This is great so far, can’t wait to read more!

 

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💬 for From Perdition

 

Guest

THAT ENTRANCE omg iconic!

 

flubber45

LOL Spock’s reaction when Jim shakes his hand like imagine meeting a guy from another planet and him immediately being like “I’m dtf.” Power move. And like, Jim doesn’t know he’s making it but Spock sure thinks he is! Soooo funny

 

PinUpPirate

I looooove how Jim is LITERALLY an astronaut and he’s STILL like “... sounds fake” when Spock claims to be from outer space. But I get it! Because if there is life out there, why would it be interested in humans at all, let alone one specific human who doesn’t think of himself as anything particularly special?

 

Guest

Way to start with a bang! Will definitely be keeping my eye on this one

 

acaseofyou

Every fic you post reminds me why you’re such a big name in this fandom. A lot of times these big high concept fics have shitty writing, but you can tell these huge, sprawling stories without compromising even a little bit on quality, which is so rare and so special. Everything you write is a treat to read! I can’t wait for you to take us on this journey!

 

PrettyInPunk

Great first chapter! Can’t wait for more :)

 

Guest

“Your friend is not dead, merely unconscious.” roflmaoooo

 

George Takei

Imp ooooooomg this!! Such a good start! There’s this immediate draw between them that really pulls you right in. You told me you had something big in the works and as usual you don’t disappoint! I can already tell this is gonna be a wild ride I’m so ready

 

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Slide Through My Hands by Impala67

📜 TV >> StarTrek: The Original Series Rated: T, English, J. Kirk, P. Kirk, Words: 28k+, Favs: 961, Follows: 905, Published: May 29, 2010, Updated: January 21, 2011

 

Title: Slide Through My Hands

Author: Impala67

Series: TOS

Rating: T

Summary: Following Sam’s death, Jim makes the difficult decision to leave Starfleet and bring Peter to live with him on Earth.

 

A/N: There’s a lot of K/S pining in here, but not a whole lot of actual K/S, so sorry if that’s what you’re here for. If you like to see grown men struggling to interact with the preteens they’re responsible for, this is the fic for you. If that sounds worse than a hot iron to the nail beds, better back-button out of here. Blah blah I’m Gene Roddenberry blah, insert funny continuation of the gag here.

 

💬 for Slide Through My Hands

 

JamesTiberius

I’m so happy to see you finished this! Really good from beginning to end

 

Guest

I’m so sad it’s over. The ending was bittersweet, but I think it had to be. Plus it matches my feelings about the fact that I won’t have any more of this fic to read!

 

monkeybusiness

Whew, that was a good one! Thanks so much for sharing this story

 

Guest

this was rlly good i loved it

 

PiedPiper

One of the best kid!fics I’ve read. It’s not cutesy, the kid isn’t used as a prop to help get the main ship together, but Jim still has his own life and personality outside of Peter. Also, the way you handled the K/S elements was very painful and realistic.

 

jenny8675309

I’m gonna miss this fic

 

YabbaDabbaDo

This is definitely a fic I’ll be rereading

 

Guest

Love this!

 

99Problems

You are really good at writing convincing kids. Peter feels like a real pre-teen, and his grief feels like very real kid-grief. As someone who lost a parent at a young age, I really feel for him.

 

greenthumb

Wow as a parent this is so relatable.

 

George Takei

THAT ENDING UGH! Jeez Imp, this has really been your year, huh? I don’t think you’ve ever been this prolific! Anyway, this might be my favorite out of your new stuff (although the Borg fic is only one chapter in and it’s already up there). I love how Jim’s past experience comes into play here, and how he knows he’s fucking up but isn’t sure how to fix it, and how he eventually settles into it. And also how he’s never sure he made the right decision to leave his crew. Plus all the stuff with Jim’s memories of Sam and Kevin is brilliant as usual. And the pining! Jesus

 

Guest

This is so good!

 

Kirklover1230

You write Peter and Jim’s relationship so well that I almost forget about the Spock-shaped hole—until Jim is reminded of him and the pining is activated. I looooove pining (as you know lol) so this is right up my alley.

 

Halley’s Comet

Aw, this fic is so bittersweet in the best way. There’s different layers to it, too. You have Peter and Jim’s grief and their love for each other and their desire to make this work, and Jim’s conflicted feelings about leaving Starfleet, as well as the way he’s missing Spock. It’s really complex and you weave it all together so expertly. Definitely coming back to this one!

 

Guest

This intersects with my trauma in a way that was like a one-punch knockout so thanks I guess

 

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Impala67 PM

My Stories . Bio Fav: Stories . Authors

My Stories 32

 

First Blood by Impala67 Jim is 12 years old and Tarsus IV is already dying when he goes on his first hunt.

StarTrek: The Original Series, T, English, words: 7k+, favs: 748, Follows: 683, published: May 20, 2011, J. Kirk, A. Karidian

On the Alabaster Stones by Impala67 Jim meets a man who is everything he wants, without being the man he wants. He’s settling, so it doesn’t even cross his mind to wonder if it might be too good to be true.

StarTrek: The Original Series, T, English, words: 6k+, favs: 811, follows: 730, published: April 24, 2011, J. Kirk

Levee’s Gonna Break >> by Impala67 After an encounter with a strange rock formation, Jim is thrust into an alternate reality where the Borg first made contact five years ago. The Federation has since fallen to chaos. With many of the Enterprise crew already assimilated, those remaining are preparing for a suicide mission, a last-gasp attempt to take out the Borg and save what’s left of the galaxy.

StarTrek: The Original Series, T, English, chapters: 6, words: 17k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 1k+, updated: April 12, 2011, published: November 7, 2010, J. Kirk, Spock

Dead Men Don’t Wear Red Shirts by Impala67 Doctor McCoy is astounded when three members of the landing party who died on the planet’s surface seemingly come back to life.

StarTrek: The Original Series, K+, English, words: 7k+, favs: 608, follows: 559, published: March 26, 2011, L. McCoy, C. Chapel

Oh Captain by Impala67 If Jim had wanted to stay in the same place for the rest of his life, doing the same thing over and over, he never would have left Iowa. Being an Admiral has more in common with being a farmer than being a Starship Captain.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, K+, English, words: 4k+, favs: 412, follows: 385, published: March 6, 2011, J. Kirk

The Future Is Now by Impala67 A woman who claims to be clairvoyant boards the enterprise amidst a group of refugees whose ship broke down. Everyone who speaks to her seems to be followed by a string of bad luck.

StarTrek: The Original Series, T, English, words: 6k+, favs: 561, follows: 504, published: February 11, 2011

Slide Through My Hands >> by Impala67 Following Sam’s death, Jim makes the difficult decision to leave Starfleet and bring Peter to live with him on Earth.

StarTrek: The Original Series, T, English, chapters: 10, words: 28k+, favs: 961, follows: 905, updated: January 21, 2011, published: May 29, 2010, J. Kirk, P. Kirk

Doctor, Doctor by Impala67 Turns out there’s nothing special about Doctor Karma, nothing mysterious or underhanded. She’s just a better doctor than he is.

Dr. Sexy, MD, T, English, words: 5k+, favs: 412, follows: 388, published: January 3, 2011, D. Sexy, A. Karma

Child’s Play by Impala67 The Enterprise crew has a second run-in with one of the energy beings they encountered in The Squire of Gothos—only this time, the child who alters their reality doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

StarTrek: The Original Series, K+, English, words: 7k+, favs: 861, follows: 789, published: December 21, 2010, J. Kirk, Spock

Your Weary Head by Impala67 Jim lets her take him to her quarters because he saw Spock looking. Because he saw Spock look away.

StarTrek: The Original Series, M, English, words: 5k+, favs: 877, follows: 712, published: December 1, 2010, J. Kirk, Spock

Hands On by Impala67 Doctor Sexy walks in on Dr. Karma laying her bare hands on a seriously injured patient in the ICU. When he yanks her hands away, he finds that the man’s wounds have mysteriously disappeared.

Dr. Sexy, MD, T, English, words: 5k+, favs: 574, follows: 526, published: November 19, 2010, D. Sexy, A. Karma

Just a Shot Away by Impala67 When a powerful being senses intruders on its planet, it manipulates the Enterprise crew members’ perceptions, causing them to turn on one another.

StarTrek: The Original Series, T, English, words: 6k+, favs: 616, follows: 587, published: October 11, 2010

Spurs by Impala67 Everyone knows Dr. Sexy wears cowboy boots.

Dr. Sexy, MD, M, English, words: 4k+, favs: 203, follows: 199, published: September 10, 2010, D. Sexy, A. Karma

No More to Roam by Impala67 After he’s made Admiral, Jim dreams of the Enterprise. He dreams of Spock and Bones at his shoulders, the viewscreen spread out before them, each pinprick of light a door to possibility.

StarTrek: The Original Series, K, English, words: 3k+, favs: 418, follows: 362, published: August 9, 2010, J. Kirk

Time Enough by Impala67 On a planet where time is money, Kirk must bet with years off his life in order to save a foolish crew member who lost a big hand. But Jim has something up his sleeve. The trick is not to win at his opponent’s game—it’s to convince his opponent to play Jim’s.

StarTrek: The Original Series, K+, English, words: 4k+, favs: 598, follows: 509, published: July 12, 2010, J. Kirk

In the End by Impala67 Gen. Spock made his choice: one life in exchange for many. Now there’s nothing left to do but respect it, and to be there with him one last time.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, K+, English, words: 6k+, favs: 905, follows: 851, published: June 18, 2010, J. Kirk, Spock

From Perdition >> by Impala67 On an Earth where World War III never happened, Zefram Cochran never invented the warp drive, and the United Federation of Planets never came into being, a Vulcan ambassador is sent to make contact with the first man to command a spaceship that exceeded light speed. A K/S First Contact au

StarTrek: The Original Series, M, English, chapters: 16, words: 59k+, favs: 2k+, follows: 3k+, updated: May 2, 2010, published: November 24, 2008, J. Kirk, Spock

 

 

First Blood by Impala67

📜 TV >> StarTrek: The Original Series Rated: T, English, J. Kirk, A. Karidian, Words: 7k+, Favs: 748, Follows: 683, Published: May 20, 2011


Title: First Blood

Author: Impala67

Series: TOS

Rating: T

Summary: Jim is 12 years old and Tarsus IV is already dying when he goes on his first hunt.

 

A/N: Yeah, another Tarsus IV fic from yours truly. It’s a T because the kill scene is pretty graphic and Jim’s reaction is pretty intense. Also for some disturbing themes like genocide. And starvation. And child abuse/endangerment courtesy of Kodos being a sick fuck. I, Gene Roddenberry, own the characters and this world, so it’s my oyster.

 

💬 for First Blood

 

unitedfederationofplanets

Jim’s hero worship for Kodos after he “saved” him is so creepy and ominous, especially knowing what he’s planning

 

Guest

Ow ow OW. Poor baby!Jim

 

PaintballWizard

God this gave me such rural gay vibes, my dad forcing me to hunt and me hating it, him forcing me to watch the life go out of its eyes, crying and throwing up... fuck

 

Kirklover1230

Oh this one got me. GOD. I have so many feelings about Jim as a kid and you do it SO WELL. Every time it leaves me stunned.

 

My O My

Oh my goooood the fact that THIS EXPERIENCE is what led Kodos to choose Jim as one of the survivors makes the whole thing 300x more fucked up

 

George Takei

Holy shit Imp! This one really goes for the guts. Why are all your Tarsus IV fics SO GOOD like DAMN. I feel so much for little Jim Kirk, thrust into this horrifying situation and just doing the best he can, and there’s this looming adult who acts like he knows what’s best for him and Jim doesn’t know what to do so he latches onto him, which is the worst thing for him... UGH. Write a book so I can throw money at you this is just getting embarrassing

 

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Notes:

Hey fellas (gn), you ever write fic where an otherworldly being descends to Earth just to touch someone, right after an otherworldly being descended to Earth just to touch you, for No Reason At All? Yeah me neither.

Also, when I’m done with this fic, would anyone be interested in a “which of Dean’s fanfics from my Dean Writes Fanfic fic are you” uquiz? Because I might have already started making one LOL