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English
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Published:
2020-12-10
Updated:
2025-07-08
Words:
79,489
Chapters:
114/?
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629
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The Rise of Chaos

Chapter 25: To the utility store!!!

Chapter Text

Zorii has started a chat room

 

Zorii invited Everyone

 

Zorii: Guys we need to get Anakin and Cara to stop fighting.

 

Obi-Wan: guys

 

Obi-Wan: I got this.

 

Obi-Wan: ANAKIN YOU’RE NOT THE CHOSEN ONE

 

Anakin: UNO REVERSE

 

Fennec: *sniffles* I’m so proud.

 

Ezra: I think this requires someone from the future.

 

Ezra: HEY ANAKIN, I HEARD THERE’S YOUNGLINGS AT THE UTILITY STORE WE’RE HEADED TO

 

Ezra: WANNA COME WITH

 

Ezra: WE GOTTA GRAB SOME SUPPLIES TO FIX THE HOLE FENNEC BLASTED IN THE WALL

 

Anakin: I’m a simple man, I hear ‘younglings’ and I come with.

 

Obi-Wan: I don’t even want to know.

 

Cassian: Believe me, you really don’t.

 

Obi-Wan: I’d ask how bad it gets, but last time that happened…

 

Han: We don’t talk about that.

 

Ben: About what?

 

Rey: …uh

 

Mitaka: 😂

 

Maul: 🙄 you kids from the future and your weird inside jokes.

 

Rey: Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened.

 

Mitaka: we should tell him

 

Rose: we totally shouldn’t

 

Mitaka: everyone else has given up on preserving the timeline

 

Rose: yes but this is about preserving our lives

 

Mitaka: you really think they’d resort to murder?

 

Kaydel: who’re we even talking about?

 

Kaydel: wait wait wait

 

Kaydel: the more important question is, are they related to anakin?

 

Mitaka: yes

 

Kaydel: it will lead to murder

 

Kaydel: even though i have no idea what you guys are talking about

 

Han: I think it has something to do with that time on the failed Area 51 trip when Rey told me how I die.

 

Ben: You WHAT?!

 

Rey: Zorii told me to!

 

Zorii: I did not tell you to-

 

Rey: Well you didn’t tell me not to, and he asked how bad things get, and murder kind of topped the list!

 

Ben: You couldn’t have said something about Hosnia instead?

 

Rey: I did!

 

Mitaka: We kind of covered all the bases.

 

Jyn: it was interesting

 

Anakin: do you think i should bring my lightsaber with us to the store?

 

Cara: omigod NO

 

Luke: ABSOLUTELY NOT

 

Evaan: BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

 

Anakin: …?

 

Jyn: TELL HIM TELL HIM TELL HIM

 

Cara: THIS IS GETTING VERY UNCOMFORTABLE

 

Jyn: TELL HIM

 

Cara: NO, THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT SHOULD REMAIN A SECRET

 

Anakin: WHY ARE YOU ALL SCREAMING AT ME

 

Cara: BECAUSE I’M HANGRY

 

Anakin: o ok that’s a reasonable excuse

 

Cara: imma go grab somethin to eat

 

Anakin: you do that 👍

 

Jannah: I call not going to the store with Anakin.

 

Ben: I call whatever Han isn’t doing.

 

Han: I’d ask, but so far that hasn’t ended well.

 

Jyn: Please please please tell me what happens in the future for u guys to freak out like this 🥺😈

 

Rey: no because you’ll immediately tell Han.

 

Rey: and i think we have enough problems on our hands right now.

 

Fennec: Guys let’s just figure out who’s going with who before we have more than eight problems.

 

Cara: SHOTGUN!

 

Ezra: Aww, no fair, you got it last time!

 

Cara: No, I mean like I found a shotgun in the kitchen.

 

Ezra: you know what, how about you take shotgun seat too while you’re at it, i’ll just step aside real quick-

 

Fennec: We’re getting dangerously close to more than eight problems.

 

Maul: Why is our deadline eight?

 

Armitage: More importantly, why is there a kriffing shotgun in our kitchen?!

 

Jyn: Nah, the first question is definitely more important.

 

Cara: Step away from the passenger seat, I also call shotgun as well.

 

Fennec: nO SHOTGUNS ALLOWED IN MY CAR

 

Cara: WHAT ABOUT BLASTERS

 

Fennec: THOSE ARE ALLOWED

 

Cara: GIVE ME TWENTY MINUTES AND THIS THING’LL BE SHOOTING LASERS

 

Fennec: NO SHOTGUN CARA

 

Cara: BUT THEN IT’LL BE A BLASTER

 

Fennec: …you win this round

 

Anakin: We should probably assign groups bc Ahsoka and Padmé are scary on their own

 

Anakin: But when they work together to murder you, it’s even more terrifying.

 

Asajj: Got it, so Obi-Wan is afraid of spiders, and Anakin is afraid of Padmé and Ahsoka.

 

Anakin: FOR GOOD REASON

 

Leia: Don’t forget Luke, he’s afraid of seagulls.

 

Luke: Stop it. Now.

 

Maul: So in other words, the light-siders are losers?

 

Ezra: Rude.

 

Obi-Wan: If I remember correctly, I sliced you in half when I was like 14

 

Rey: I wouldn’t trust a 14-year-old with a lightsaber to begin with.

 

Cassian: I wouldn’t trust most of us with lightsabers, and we’re adults.

 

Din: What do you mean, ‘most of us’? I wouldn’t trust any of us.

 

Jyn: I don’t trust any of you to begin with.

 

Cassian: We know, Jyn.

 

Jyn: Just making sure.

 

Kaydel: Mk so uh guys while you were arguing the cookies finally started to burn.

 

Jannah: WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG FOR THEM TO BURN

 

Quinlan: They have reached a level of fireproof-ness that none of us can hope to reach.

 

Ezra: especially anakin

 

Anakin: WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW THINGS ABOUT ME THAT I DON’T KNOW

 

Fennec: Idk but guys you have five minutes to figure out who’s going to the utility store with me before I leave without you.

 

Din: I’m going wherever Cara goes because someone needs to make sure she doesn’t do...anything.

 

Cara: Can I breathe?

 

Din: Yes Cara, you are allowed to breathe.

 

Cara: Can I steal all of the little paint sample thingies?

 

Din: no

 

Cara: Mk I’m doing it then.

 

Han: I guess I’ll head to the utility store.

 

Evaan: Sure, why not?

 

Quinlan: I might as well go.

 

Din: Wait guys we need one more responsible person to come with us.

 

Zorii: …

 

Mitaka: …

 

Asajj: …

 

Din: We need one more person with more than one brain cell left.

 

Din: AND THE BRAIN CELL MUST BE USED FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN CHAOS AND ANARCHY

 

Jyn: …

 

Kaydel: …

 

Ezra: …

 

Armitage: i vote ben

 

Ben: NO

 

Fennec: Alright Ben you’re coming with.

 

Armitage: You know what I’m coming to watch this go down.

 

Rey: I’m coming to prevent a duel.

 

Kaydel: I’ll bring the popcorn.

 

Anakin: Wait guys I’m coming with you!

 

Anakin: As long as there’s younglings, I mean.

 

Leia: I...am coming as well to prevent disaster.

 

Fennec: Ok that’s enough for the utility store group.

 

Fennec: GET IN LOSERS WE’RE GOING SHOPPING

 

Han: YOU DON’T HAVE TO YELL

 

Fennec: IT’S MY BUS AND I’LL YELL IF I WANT TO

 

Armitage: So...by show of hands...how many of you are bringing lightsabers?

 

Armitage: oh my god we’re going to die

 

Evaan: ANAKIN LEAVE YOUR LIGHTSABER AT THE COMPOUNDS

 

Anakin: WHY

 

Anakin: BUT YOUNGLINGS

 

Anakin: I WANT TO TEACH THEM THE FINE ART OF LIGHTSABER DUELING

 

Evaan: NO

 

Quinlan: Wait, Leia owns a lightsaber?

 

Leia: Yes.

 

Fennec: I don’t know what this says about us but there’s 12 of us and 5 of us have lightsabers. And then the rest of us have various weapons.

 

Din: v-various?

 

Cara: Yea me and Fennec have a few backups just in case.

 

Din: WE ARE LITERALLY GOING TO THE UTILITY STORE

 

Din: WHY DO YOU NEED WEAPONS?!?!?!

 

Fennec: This is the way

 

Din: ok that’s rude no using the mandalorian code against me.

 

Fennec: no that was a question i just forgot to add a question mark

 

Fennec: i was asking cara if this was the way to the utility store

 

Din: oh