Chapter Text
Night class group chat:
Kiryuu.Z: Anyone who mentions my sexual or gender identity gets shot in the head
Kuran.K: I don't appreciate you threatening my followers Kiryuu.
Kiryuu.Z: And I don't appreciate my body rejecting the blood tablets, guess what it's still happening.
Aidou.H: YOUR BODY IS WHAT NOW??
Ichigo.T: I will admit that is worrying Kiryuu.
Kiryuu.Z: Why?
Aidou.H: BECAUSE YOU NEED THOSE TO LIVE, HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING
Kiryuu.Z: Mind your own business.
Aidou.H: MY ROOMIE/FUTURE HUSBAND'S BODY REJECTING BLOOD TABLETS IS MY BUSINESS ZERO
Kiryuu.Z: I'm sorry, is it our organs rejecting blood tablets? No, it's mine, stay out of it.
Kiryuu.Z: And if I'm marrying anyone it'll be Kuran, because then Yuuki can't do it.
Kuran.K: How exactly would you get me to agree with that?
Kiryuu.Z: Who said anything about you agreeing, I've forged your signature before and I'll do it again.
Aidou.H: STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME WITH YOUR OTHER SHENANIGANS ZERO
Kiryuu.Z: Distract you from what?
Aidou.H: DON'T TRY TO GASLIGHT ME ZERO IM A PRETTY BLONDE BOY GASLIGHTING IS IN MY BLOOD
Kiryuu.Z: Gaslighting isn't real, you're being crazy.
Kiryuu.Z went offline
Takuma.I: Am I the only one concerned about what he's been signing in Lord Kuran's name?
Kuran.K: You wouldn't happen to know what that would be, would you Aidou?
Aidou.H: Of course not my lord I would never let him do that if I knew, now please excuse me I have to hunt down Headmaster Cross and tattle.
Takuma.I: Are you sure he won't shoot you for doing that Aidou?
Aidou.H: HE CAN TRY
Aidou.H went offline
Zero and Yuuki messages:
Zero: Don't listen to anything Hanabusa tells you, he's lying
Yuuki: Do you think I ever listen to him?
Also prepare yourself for valentine's day bc it's going to be a dozy
Zero: Why
Yuuki: upon finding out that you are so very single and I am so very uninterested there may have been quite that up tick in crushes on you
Zero: Oh fuck me
Yuuki: I just made it clear that I don't want to
Zero: Ha ha very funny
Yuuki: I know!! It's one of the reasons people actually like me!!
Zero: I need to seriously rethink our relationship if you think that will hurt my feelings
Yuuki: I KNOW ITS JUST MY AUTOMATIC RESPONSE
Zero: You need to step up your insult game
Zero: Also get ready to open your window
Yuuki: OMG DID YOU SNEAK OUT OF THE NIGHT DORMS SO WE CAN HANG OUT
Zero: Look outside dumbass
Yuuki: YES SIBLING SLEEPOVER WOO
Messages between Kuran.K and Kiryuu.Z
Kuran.K: Where are you? We need to talk.
Kiryuu.Z: I'm in the building over on none of your business avenue.
Kuran.K: Very funny Kiryuu, where are you actually?
Kiryuu.Z: We're in Kaien's kitchen!
Kiryuu.Z: Oh, this is Yuuki!!
Kuran.K: Ah and what pray tell are you two up to?
Kiryuu.Z: Once again none of your business.
Messages between Yuuki and Kaname:
Yuuki: Zero took his phone back! But we're baking!
Kaname: You know Kiryuu's phone password?
Yuuki: Yup! He knows mine too!
Kaname: I would think that Kiryuu would be more private about those things.
Yuuki: Well I mean what am I going to do with it? Look at the conversations he tells me about anyways?
Yuuki: Plus it's handy when one of us has our hands full!
Kaname: I suppose that makes sense.
Yuuki: I have a question if you don't mind! Why exactly did you think Zero was interested in me? I mean we're siblings
Kaname: It hadn't crossed my mind that you saw each other in that way, and sibling relationships aren't that odd in the vampire world. My parents were siblings after all.
Yuuki: Oh really I had no idea haha bye now!!!
Yuuki went offline
Messages between Kaito and Zero:
Zero: KAITO WAKE THE FUCK UP
Kaito: What do you want
Zero: YUUKI FOUND OUT THAT KURAN'S PARENTS WERE SIBLINGS
Zero: CRUSH DESTROYED SHE SAID "I don't think I want to date a boy who views incest so normally"
Kaito: IS SHE NOT INTERESTED IN HIM ANYMORE
Zero: SHE FEELS MORE PITY FOR HIM SINCE GROWING UP LIKE THAT CAN'T OF BEEN EASY
Kaito: HA HAHAHHA YES
Kaito: I CANT WAIT TO SEE THIS TRAIN WRECK IN PERSON
Zero: YOU'RE COMING HERE??
Kaito: YESSIR
Zero: FUCKING FINALLY
Zero: NOW I CAN START PUTTING CURSES ON YOUR FAMILY HOUSE AGAIN
Kaito: THAT WAS YOU WE THOUGHT IT WAS A VAMPIRE SEEKING REVENGE
Zero: OFC IT WAS ME
Zero: I can't wait to beat your ass in training when you get here
Kaito: Oh please my dad hits harder than you
Zero: THE FIST FIGHT I HAD WITH HIM TELLS ME OTHERWISE
Kaito: I'll never know what your teacher thought when he ranked you as a great fighter
Zero: MOTHERFUCKER WE HAVE THE SAME TEACHER
Kaito: FUCK OFF I KNOW
Kaito: Wait you fought my dad
Zero: I don't know what else you thought I would do when you told me about your family
Kaito: IS THAT WHY THEY ALL LEAVE ME ALONE NOW
Zero: DID YOU THINK I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID FOLLOWING THE LAW IS ONLY A SUGGESTION WHEN SOMEONE FUCKS WITH MY FRIENDS
Kaito: HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS AND HOW DID YOU NOT GET IN TROUBLE
Zero: IF YOU ASKED I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU AND I'M A VAMPIRE HUNTER NEPO BABY CONSEQUENCES DON'T EXIST FOR ME
Kaito: Damn I wish that was the case for me
Zero: Oh because Toga would ever let his golden child get in serious trouble
Kaito: Do you think he would stand up for me?
Zero: I'm not even his favourite student and he threatened to stab a high up VHA member if they didn't let me legally change my name
Kaito: This opens so many doors for me.
Zero: Go nuts I'll probably die before the consequences catch up to us anyways