Chapter Text
I have always loved races because I always win. And today is no different.
As we are sprinting up the hill behind the Riorson mansion, I am way ahead of the boys. Guess it comes as an advantage to be a girl and be a lot smaller and swifter than them. I turn my head to look at them as I near the top of the hill and smirk, already tasting the victory.
“I`ve seen snails moving faster than you!” I throw at them in amusement.
Xaden raises a hand and makes the universally acknowledged sign of a sour loser. Garrick shakes his head and mutters something about strangling me for the arrogance once he gets to me – he has been saying that ever since we were ten and I am still waiting. Poor Bodhi is concentrating too hard on not falling behind to reply to my teasing .
“You know, I doubt they let would let people who run slower than grannies with walking sticks in the Riders Quadrant.” I mock them when they finally join me at the top of the hill.
“Imogen, I am truly sorry for you, but with this kind of arrogance and attitude, you would be killed on the first week. They would throw you off the Parapet before you say two full sentences.” Garrick says, shaking his head in a very father-disappointed kind of way. Got to love his consistency. The day Garrick Tavis agrees with anything I say or do, Melgren will invite me to ride on Codagh with him.
“We are your friends and we are this close to pushing you off this hill right now.” Xaden points out, looking amused.
I roll my eyes at them. There might be a crumble of truth in what they are saying – annoying people is my second superpower according to Braelyn, but I would die before I admit that they are right, let alone change that about myself.
“You are just pissed that I beat you.” But by the time I finish the sentence, my attention has already shifted to the view in front of me. This is not right.
I expected to see the wide wooden gazebo Xaden`s dad had built for us to play in when we were little and which we later on reassigned as a training place. But, instead of finding the gazebo and the surrounding oak trees with singing birds in them, I am greeted by a nightmarish sight. It is like we have stepped through a portal and have been taken back to this hellish place again.
It is exactly like I first saw it – the high stone walls of the prison, the area specially designated for the audience with the wooden platform in front of it, overlooking the wide scene where three people, always the same three people, stood, flanked by their three monstrously huge fire-breathing reptiles. In the last three years, I tried my best to forget this, to erase from my mind the image of the prison courtyard and the memory of what happened there, but everything, down to the last detail, is etched in my mind. I am going to be haunted by this for the rest of my life, no doubt. Forever sentenced to relive this.
But here is the twist of this reenactment – it is not my sister and my mother awaiting to be cremated this time around. Pity, considering the fact that it is only during these nightmares now that I get to see their faces again.
There, kneeling in front of the dragons and their equally ruthless dragons, stand Xaden and Garrick. They are looking straight ahead, at me, with a heartbreaking resignation on their faces, the same kind of sad smile that I saw on Braelyn`s lips after she uttered her last words.
But I can`t lose them too. I can not stand by and watch them be reduced to ashes right in front of me. I have watched my mother and sister go down like that; I cannot repeat the experience with my remaining family. No, anything but this.
Aimsir opens its mouth and I can see the fire forming, ready to be released –
“NO!” I wake up screaming, jolting to a seated position in bed.
I am panting, trying to catch my breath as I look around the room – I don`t know what I expect to find, I know there is nothing unusual to be found. However, some irrational part of me still expects to wake up with Aimsir hovering above my bed and General Sorrengail leaning against my desk, eager to give the execution order, even after having this nightmare over and over again. Ironically, I rarely have nightmares with the black dragon, who is ten times more terrifying – and this comes from someone who had to stand right in front of him, close enough to see every scale on his nose as he made sure I have a reminder of that nightmarish day even when I am awake.
I push aside the blankets and get out of bed, needing to move to fully shake off the image of my best friends dying, convincing myself that it was just another nightmare – albeit a new one. For the last three years, I have relieved that awful day more times than I can count, with slight alterations from time to time, but this one… I have never dreamt of them being the ones to be killed.
Deciding some fresh air would help me clear my mind, I put on a cloak and a pair of boots and leave the room. It is still too early for anyone to be up – even the servants are still asleep, so I don`t worry about bumping into anyone as I make my way towards the balcony on the roof. Besides, it is only me and Quinn home as Duke Artan, her father, has been away for almost two weeks on a mission – the life of a dragon rider, what can you do?
Whoever designed the castle-sized mansion of Duke Artan must have had as a life motto `go big or go home`. The building is huge, with intricate architecture and fancy stairs and tapestries on every wall. When I first got here three years ago, I used to get lost quite often, but now I can find my way through the long stone hallways with my eyes closed. I guess, in a small way, this place reminds me of my own home – the one that is not even mine anymore. It doesn`t matter that I am the last living Cardulo; after the apostasy, all the estates and belongings of the rebels were confiscated and redistributed to the `loyal subjects of Navarre`.
Yeah, no. I am bumped out already, I don`t need to think about the fact that I basically have nothing to my name anymore. Garrick would scold me for such complaints, pointing out that other people have it worse – at least I was taken in by the Artans and treated kindly.
As I reach the terrace, I start to regret that I did not stop by Quinn`s room to ask her to accompany me. The cold air helps, as expected, but I did not take into account the fact that going out here alone would leave me alone with my thoughts.
Lighting up a rolled churam, I sit on the edge of the terrace wall hugging my legs to my chest. It helps take the edge off, I guess.
Okay, now… what would Quinn say if she were here with me?
Firstly, she would take one of my cigarettes and call it my therapy fee. Then she would ask me to describe the dream and tell me that there is a perfectly logical explanation for it. And, I guess, there is. Conscription Day is approaching and even though I still have a year until I am expected to cross the parapet, this year is equally terrifying – Xaden and Garrick are going to enrol.
I haven`t seen them in three years, but we are writing to each other regularly. I know that they have been training since before the rebellion for the Rider Quadrant and out of us all, Xaden and Garrick are the most likely to succeed – they are strong, fast and whatnot. Garrick can wield almost anything as a weapon and Xaden is a weapon himself, but that doesn`t mean they won`t have a target on their backs.
Even when I just go in the village with Quinn, I can not avoid being stared at. The black rebellion relic on my arm draws everyone`s attention and had I not been placed under the protection of Duke Artan, some of the villagers would have tried to kill me already. If mere civilians hate us so much, I can only image the prejudice we would face in Basgiath, where people are trained to kill, not to cultivate crops.
And that is if they pass the parapet, without someone pushing them off it.
My line of thought is interrupted by the sound of wings flapping followed by a loud bam, which makes the whole terrace vibrate for a moment. I hurry to extinguish the churam and toss it away, before turning towards the source of the sound. Just in time to see Duke Artan jump off Mavrei, his brown club tail. For a moment I can swear Mavrei is smirking at me, as if saying “I saw that”, before taking off.
“A little bit late for an evening stroll, Imogen.” Cale Artan says, amusement evident in his eyes. Something tells me Mavrei snitched on me too. Evil reptile…
“A little bit late to get home at this hour, Cale.” I tease back, moving a bit to the side to make room for him to sit next to me.
Not many would dare address Cale Artan like this. He is over six foot five and built like a bear. But that did not stop me from acting like a brat when I first met him and it certainly will not now that I actually like him.
“At least I have an excuse. You?” He asks in his fatherly voice – soft, calm and concerned.
“Nightmare.” I answer honestly.
Sometimes I think Braelyn would be very disappointed of me for growing attached to Quinn and her father. In the beginning, I kept them at a distance, but they grew on me – Quinn is my age and just too stubborn and sassy to not like and her father, despite being a rider and having fought in the rebellion against us, is not a bad guy. He didn`t show me anything but kindness and didn`t treat me any different than he treated Quinn. I can`t hold him responsible for doing his duty and following the orders he was given – that would mean I should hate more than half the population of Navarre. Besides, it is not like he knows any better… I am fairly certain he is not aware that the Venins are more than childish horror stories.
That is not to say I opened up completely to them – there are still many things I keep secret from them, things only the boys know, but the nightmares… those are pretty hard to hide. I tried in the beginning, but night after night of waking up screaming… it did not go unnoticed.
Cale does not push. He knows that it is better to wait for me to share the details I am comfortable sharing than to press me for details. So, taking a deep breath, I tell him about how I have seen my friends die in the most horrible way possible.
“Are you afraid they would not make it across the parapet?” He asks me after I am done describing the dream.
“The parapet is not a problem for them. I know Duke Lindell allows Xaden to train and I am sure Garrick is more than prepared too, but…” I try to explain, but I don’t know how to tell one of the people who condemn the rebellion that the guys on his team will try to kill us.
“You are afraid they will be killed afterwards.” Cale concludes, smiling weakly. I nod and bite my lower lip – well, at least I did not have to say it myself. “You know that cadets try to kill each other whether they are marked or not. Sure, your friends will have an extra target on their backs, but I doubt they would be stupid enough to forget where they are and the dangers around them.”
I look at the garden below us, knowing we are both trying to ignore the elephant in the room – I am going to be in the same situation pretty soon. And at Basgiath, I cannot count on anyone’s protection anymore.
“I just wish I could see them before they leave…” I mutter. Even if they survive, they will not be allowed to communicate with anyone from the exterior for a year. A stupid rule if you ask me.
“You will still be able to correspond with Bodhi and Liam.” Duke Artan points out, trying to find a bright side.
“Yes, but Xaden and Garrick are…” I trail off.
What are they to me? Sure, I owe Xaden my life after he made the deal with Melgren to spare our lives and I know I will never be able to repay him for everything he does for us, but it is more than this. We grew up together, we lived next to each other and he was probably one of my first true friends besides Braelyn. To call him a friend seems like an understatement. Whereas Garrick…
I don’t remember exactly the moment I met Xaden, but I remember exactly when I met Garrick. Xaden brought him along one day when we were going ice skating on the frozen lake behind Bodhi’s house. He was so cautious and careful; it drove me crazy. Ever since then I made it my life mission to annoy him and be as reckless as I can possibly be just to mess with him. Bodhi and I even made a bet that I would one day make Garrick Tavis do something reckless. Aside from that, he was my rock during the rebellion – sneaking me sweets, staying with me and listening to my rant after an exhausting day taking care of the smaller kids…
“They are special to me.” I finish.
“That pause makes me think whether we should have a boy talk anytime soon.” He teases me.
“Because the one with Quinn was so effective?” I point out with a smirk, remembering how Cale practically looked like a mumbling idiot when Quinn came home and introduced her new girlfriend to him the day after their talk.
“Anyway… Your friends, they’ll be fine. I have no doubt. Now, speaking of training…” I can sense the subject change even before he says it and I am more than relieved for it. “How is your own training going?”
It goes without saying that after that question he dragged me to the training area in the garden for me to prove to him that I was not falling behind in his absence. In moments like this Cale reminds me so much of Braelyn and my own father – he has spent all night flying and Malek knows when he last slept, but that doesn’t stop him from sweeping the floor with me.
Hours later, when Quinn wakes up, we are still training. She tries to turn around when she spots us, hoping her father didn’t see her yet.
“And where do you think you are going?” Cale calls after his daughter. “Get your ass on this mat right now! You two have been laying around enough these last two weeks.”
“Can I at least eat breakfast first?” The blonde asks, using all her charm and even puppy eyes.
“What part of now was unclear to you, Quinn?”
The defeated look on my friend’s face as she drags her feet towards us is enough to make me grin despite my own exhaustion. It brightens my morning, at least a little bit, to share my suffering.
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“Come on, Quinn! Just tell me where we are going already!” I groan in exasperation for the hundredth time today. My back hurts from sitting in this carriage for almost twenty-four hours straight and the smug expression on my friend’s face makes me want to punch something. Or someone.
“What fun would it be if you knew?” She teases, crossing her arms across her chest.
I hate surprises. Or, more accurately, I grew to hate them; I used to love being surprised when I was little. Now, I guess I associate them with that day at the prison – not knowing what is going to happen, the uncertainty, not having any sort of control over the situation are my triggers now.
It is stupid, I know. Whatever Quinn and her father had planned is nothing like that day. They might still believe in all the lies the Government wants people to believe, but Quinn would not take me to my death with such an open smile on her lips and acting is not one of her talents either.
“We are almost there anyway.” She informs me when she sees me fidgeting with a dagger. In three years of being friends, Quinn knows that I only do that when I am tense. “You took the daggers with you?”
The daggers she is referring to are a mismatched set of four blades that are my most prized possession. Three of them used to be Braelyn’s, whereas the fourth was a gift from Xaden for my first birthday after the apostasy. Braelyn had earned the blades during her time at Basgiath, so they have different designs – Quinn’s father pulled some strings to get them for me from my family home; it was one of his attempts to give me some sort of comfort when I first moved in with them. The one from Xaden is a Tyrrish blade, encrusted with runes – I have no idea how he managed to get it, but I appreciate it. From what Bodhi told me in one of his letters, Garrick and him also got one.
“Didn’t feel right to leave without them.” I admit, throwing the lightest of them and catching it by the sharp tip. “Besides, they make very good toys.”
Quinn shakes her head amused and remains silent for a while, playing with a strand of her curly blonde hair. She ends up braiding the said strand and, by the time the carriage stops moving, she has braided my hair as well.
The carriage door swings open and Quinn wastes no time to jump out of it, stretching like a cat as soon as she hits the ground. More cautiously, I follow her and look around me, preparing for anything.
There are many carriages parked along the wide pathway, but they are almost drowned by the sea of people. So many people, walking in groups – some seem to be relaxed, others are visibly tensed, but there are also some that are crying. I follow the direction they are walking and spot their destination – a gigantic stone building that I have seen only once before, so long ago that it seems to have been in another lifetime.
For a few seconds, I am that twelve years old girl again. I haven’t thought of that day in so long, but I remember it so vividly. I remember the worried look on my mother’s face as she hugged Braelyn to her chest. My father, who was trying to hide his concern, but also proud. And Braelyn, my confident older sister, walking with her head held high and joking constantly, as if she was walking towards the grocery store, not towards the most lethal school in existence, with no guarantee of survival. She was only twenty, one year older than I am now, but she was not scared or intimidated. Or, at least, she didn’t show it. She was the kind of person who would say `I got this` and laugh in the face of imminent danger.
“Surprise!” Quinn shouts excitedly, practically beaming and almost jumping up and down like a little child.
“What are we doing here?” I manage to ask, trying and failing to keep my voice from shaking. Out of all the scenarios I had imagined, this is not one of them.
She looks at me with a huge grin on her face. “Dad has a meeting with General Sorrengail tomorrow, something about next year`s budget, but he decided to be fashionably early.” She explains, grabbing my hand to drag me after her, as she pushes her way forward through the sea of people. “He is already inside, because he can’t land with Mavrei here. No one had any objections when he said he would bring us along. They think we came to see what awaits us next year.”
Quinn doesn’t stop walking, but she is turning her head left and right, scanning the crowd. Growing obviously irritated, at some point she turns around to face me, not minding the people who throw us dirty looks for stopping in the middle of the road – it doesn’t help either that I am wearing short sleeves and the rebellion signet is on full display.
“Really, Im, could you snap out of your shock any time soon? The description of tall, dark and brooding doesn’t exactly narrow it down, you know?” She teases me, before adding with a wink. “I have to see for myself how handsome these boys of yours are.”
I blink slowly. Logically I knew the only reason we would be here would be for me to see Xaden and Garrick, but the realization takes a bit to settle in.
“Remind me to thank you later.” I tell Quinn, straightening my back and taking the lead.
Nothing matters anymore. I don’t even notice the people glaring at me as I push them aside to make way. The protests and swearing that accompany the glares are drowned by a buzzing in my ears – excitement, so bright and powerful that it makes my body tremble. I almost forgot how it feels to have something to look forward to that makes me feel like this.
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It feels like I have spent an eternity running around in circles, my heart jumping at every single person who remotely resembles one of them. However, it couldn’t have been more than half an hour, I guess.
Quinn has been following me without complaining, cracking a joke from time to time when she felt I was getting too tense. I will have to think of some way to show her my gratitude after this day – no one else would have done this for me.
I stop in my tracks so suddenly that Quinn crashes into me when I hear someone shouting my name. For a second, I think I am imagining it, just another trick of my imagination, but then I hear it again.
“Immy!” This time I spot him.
Breaking into a sprint towards him, I can’t help smiling widely. I probably look like an idiot, but I do not care right now. I do not care who is looking at us, who is cursing at me for stepping on their toes. Nothing else matters as I run into Xaden’s arms, throwing my arms around his neck.
I close my eyes for a second, taking in everything. He has grown taller in the last three years, so I am basically hovering above the ground as he hugs me, but he still has the same smell – mint, leather and just a hint of citrus.
“What are you doing here, Immy?” Xaden asks after a short while, lowering me gently to the ground. He is looking me from head to toe, inspecting. “And why is your hair pink?”
I laugh openly at this. Yeah, I forgot about the hair. I died it about two years ago, in an attempt to cut ties with the past – a failed attempt too. Every time I was looking in the mirror, I was reminded of my mother – aside from my eyes, I looked exactly like her. Dying my blonde hair seemed like a good solution at the time. So, now I have shoulder-length cotton-pink hair, but at least it looks great.
“What, you don’t like it?” I joke, flipping my hair dramatically. “My friend pulled some strings so I could see you and Garrick.”
Xaden smiles – one of his sincere smiles, with the gold flickers in his onyx eyes shining brightly, reminding me of better days, of days before the revolution. Of days when it was just the four of us, doing whatever the hell we wanted to do. “I am so glad to see you, Immy.”
My heart grows every time he uses the old nickname. No one has called me that in years – not counting the letters from them. Quinn tried, once, but I asked her not to because it reminded me too much of those who would never call me that again – so, she calls me Im instead.
“The feeling is mutual, Riorson.” I admit, still smiling widely. “Where is Garrick? Did you meet with him yet? Did Bodhi come with him too?”
Xaden was sent to Tirvainne after the apostasy, along with Liam Mairi, but Garrick was sent at the other end of Navarre, along with Bodhi. Them being fostered by the same family was one of our greatest joys. And it made communication that much easier.
“He should return soon; he went a bit ahead to look for other marked kids. I guess he was too blind to see the small pink one.” He teases me, smirking. “And no, Bodhi is sadly still in Luceris.”
There is a bit of sadness in his voice and I get that. I would have loved to see Bodhi too – he is the soul of our small group in a way, making it his mission to lighten up every conversation with jokes.
“But never mind that. Won’t you introduce me to your companion?” Xaden rises an eyebrow, looking over my shoulder at Quinn.
In my rush to get to Xaden, I totally forgot about Quinn. I would apologize for leaving her behind, but she would just use her old joke for when we are in crowds that my hair is like a lighthouse.
“Really, Cardulo, where are your manners?” Quinn jokes, getting nearer and extending her arm towards Xaden. “Quinn Artan, Imogen`s foster sister.”
Well, that is new. Quinn has never introduced herself as my sister. Not that I mind it; it is actually nice.
“Xaden Riorson, but I guess you already know that.” He introduces himself, shaking her hand firmly.
“Oh, yes!” Quinn nods. For a moment, I can see a shadow pass over Xaden’s eyes, like a shield ready to be raised if needed. I don’t have to ask; I know he is getting ready for a comment about his father. “Imogen always talks about you and your other two friends. Glad to finally put a face to the name.”
The black swirling lines on our arms usually make people uncomfortable around us – and that is the best-case scenario. So, I am more than delighted to see the surprise in Xaden’s eyes when he understands that Quinn doesn’t care about him being the child of a separatist. I just hope she does not start spilling things I told her about them in confidence.
Xaden is spared from giving a response by someone approaching us. I frown a bit at the sight of the rebellion signet – I should know him if he is the child of a rebel. If I thought Xaden was tall and muscular, the dark-haired boy is even more so – he must be twice my size, for Malek’s sake! I will admit it, my eyes are glued on him – there is something mesmerizing about him.
It is only when he gets nearer that I notice his hazel eyes and the details of his face that I understand who he is. Shame is a weak word for how I feel at not recognizing Garrick Tavis from the beginning – his rebellion relic should have been enough of a hint. Aside from Xaden, whose relic reaches his jawline, Garrick has the largest rebellion relic – up to his shoulders.
“Hey, Garrick, look whom I found!” Xaden calls, pointing to me.
Garrick narrows his eyes. Locking eyes, I can see him going from confusion, to recognition and them confusion again. “Imogen?”
“Well, now I understand why you have a crush on the guy.” Quinn whistles next to me.
I throw her a dirty look – the kind of look that is a promise of violence if she doesn’t keep her trap shut. In the corner of my eye, I can see Xaden smirking – of course he heard her. Fantastic.
“The one and only!” I manage to say, with a confidence I don’t actually have.
He breaks into a wide smile and picks me up in his arms in a bear hug. I cling to his shoulders, giggling as he spins me around once. He smells of oranges and cinnamon, making me melt.
“Gar, you are crushing me…” I say, even though I don’t want him to break the hug.
“Why do you look like cotton candy?” He asks when he puts me down, taking a strand of my hair between his fingers.
“Because I was sick of people telling me I was not sweet enough.” I joke, blushing under his inspection.
“And because she likes drawing attention to herself.” Xaden adds, making me turn my attention away from Garrick. Judging by his amused smile, he did it on purpose – oh, I will not hear the end of his teases…
Quinn strides forward and stops right in front of Garrick, inspecting him shamelessly. Inclining her head, she smiles slyly. “Quinn Artan, please to meet you! I’ve heard SOOO much about you.”
Garrick raises an eyebrow, but nods. “I am curious. What you have heard about me?”
“Oh, don’t worry, only good things.” Quinn smirks, winking at him. Had I not known she is into girls, I would probably want to strangle her a bit for all this flirting.
Xaden clears his throat, stepping forward and throwing an arm around my shoulder. “As much as I would love to hear all those stories myself, I think we are supposed to go sign our names. Care to accompany us, ladies?”
I look over at Quinn and she nods in my direction.
“Go ahead, Im. Meet you back here afterwards. I have to find dad to let him know we are fine.” She says casually. “Looking forward to see you next year at school, boys.”
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“Nice girl. I can see why you like her, Immy.” Garrick says after Quinn leaves us.
“She is a pain in the ass, don’t let the angelic face fool you.”
They both laugh and I smile at the sound. Gods, it feels so right. They are here, right next to me and I try to soak in the feeling, to bottle it up for the year to come.
Looking at the both of them, I can’t help but notice how much they changed – not only physically; long gone are the carefree, laid-back boys I grew up with, in their place now stand two grown men, mature and looking as if they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. I wonder if they find me different too – aside from the pink hair. Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different? You cannot see your family die before your eyes and hang on to your innocence. I find comfort in the fact that our friendship didn’t change, even if we will never be the same kids ever again.
“How much do you trust her?” Xaden asks, switching in the blink of an eye from the laughing friend to the protective leader.
I consider it for a moment, aware of the true meaning of his question. He wants to know if Quinn knows what the rebellion truly was about or if I would ever tell her. I shake my head decisively.
“She is dear to me and I owe her a lot. I hate lying to her, but I also don’t want to bring trouble to her doorstep.” I answer honestly. I know that if Quinn knew about the Venin, she would be hell bent on doing something about it and I am way too familiar with that recklessness – no, she shouldn’t know about it, at least not for the moment.
“For now, it is better this way anyway.” Garrick agrees, crossing his arms over his chest. “Maybe one day, if you think she can swallow the truth.”
Would Quinn believe me if I told her that the Government is lying? If we ever decide to do something, would she fight on our side? Despite the reservation I came to have about everything, I know, deep down, the answer is yes.
I notice that instead of walking in the same direction as the sea of people, Xaden leads us towards a secluded corner of the building, where trees and bushes basically hide us from view.
“This year is not the time for taking risks anyway.” Xaden states and there is something in the way he speaks, in the way he straightens his back, that reminds me of his father. I was not allowed to take part in our parents` meetings, but every time I saw Fen Riorson his voice and his stance commanded respect and attention. You don’t get to be called The Great Traitor without a certain charisma.
“I was not taking any risks before, either.” I frown, trying to guess what he is getting at. “What is going on?”
“We won’t be able to write letters this year and even if we were, they could very well be intercepted.” Garrick says, leaning against the wall.
“So… you want me to keep an eye on Bodhi and Liam? I would have done that anyway.”
Xaden smiles, but there is nothing soft in his eyes. “That too, but not only them. I will need you and Bodhi to cover for me and Garrick and keep an eye on all the marked kids.”
I frown in surprise. Even if I share the task with Bodhi, that still leaves me in charge of around fifty kids. Now I understand why it took Xaden and Garrick an eternity to reply to my letters…
“What do I have to do, exactly?”
“I left Liam a letter to send you with all the names and addresses. We used to write to each of them once a month to make sure everything is on track. Pay closer attention to those who are supposed to be conscripted next year.” Xaden instructs me. “It is better to keep track of them all.”
I nod. So far it makes sense. “Anything else?”
Garrick scratches the back of his neck before he answers. “There is one more thing, but we have to make sure you won’t make a scene.”
“Garrick, there is a building filled with trained killers behind us and they already have enough reasons to hate us. I am not going to give them one more.”
“Brennan Sorrengail. You will have to keep in touch with him too.” Xaden adds.
I burst into a hysteric laugh at the absurdity of his demand. “Xaden, I appreciate the vote of confidence, but speaking to the dead is not on my list of talents.”
Surely it was a joke. Why are they not laughing? Why are they looking at me with those serious and grim faces?
“Okay, you two shitheads better tell me everything, right now.” I don’t scream because I don’t want to make a scene, like they said, but… Gods, I want to scream right now.
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A few minutes later, after hearing the whole explication, I am staring at them, hoping that one of them will start grinning and say it was just a joke and they are not actually hiding the son of the woman who killed our parents. But no, Brennan Sorrengail is truly alive, living in Aretia and helping at rebuilding the city. And I am now expected to be the one to keep in touch with him and make sure things run smoothly.
“Who else knows?” I ask calmly, making an effort to keep my anger at bay.
“Aside from some people from Aretia…I told Bodhi before I left and Liam is also in on the secret, but that is it.” Garrick answers, looking at me as if he wants to apologize.
I want to scream at them. I want to shout, to cry, knowing where this path leads. We are still a bunch of kids – we have nothing! No weapons, no allies, nothing, yet we are secretly working against the Government and slowly rebuilding what we lost. We are harboring a presumed-dead Sorrengail! They are basically Basgiath royalty! Melgren can see the outcome of any battle; he will sniff us out before we even touch a sword. What are we going to use to defend us when that happens? The power of friendship?
“You better have a fucking plan.” I say, looking both of them in the eye.
Am I mad at them for keeping it a secret from me? Hell, yes! But that is a frustration I will take out on them later and not here out of all places. I don’t need an audience when I scream at them. And, a small, rational part of me understands why they hid this – for the same reason I did not tell Quinn about the Venins.
“We are biding our time.” Xaden explains, but I can see him relax slightly when he realizes I am calm. “Brennan is in charge of rebuilding the city, but we don’t have the resources necessary for another uprising. This is why the marked kids are crucial.”
I frown in confusion, but then I understand what he is counting on.
“Dragons. You are counting on them bonding to dragons.” I whisper.
“It will take a few years, but it is the best plan we have. Hopefully Poromiel will keep the Venins at bay long enough.” Garrick nods. I can’t help to notice the grim tone – something tells me that the situation is more urgent than they make it sound like.
We have always been aware of the fact that it is our responsibility to finish what our parents have started – get the means to help in the fight against Venins. We made a freaking pact to do it, right after we watched our families burn in front of us. But I always believed that was something that we won’t have to think about for at least ten years. It sounds like we will be lucky if we get to graduate.
Graduation seems like a miracle anyway. We might not make it to Threshing, let alone graduation!
I close my eyes, trying to stop myself from spiraling.
“Better a traitor than a coward and a liar.” The words echo in my mind.
My sister died trying to fight for what is right. Braelyn was just a little older than I am when she went to war and she never complained, she never cried or cowered in fear thinking about everything that might go wrong. I won’t be weak either.
“Alright. I can do this.” I promise, locking eyes with Xaden. “I don’t want either of you to worry about this. I got it. Just stay alive in there.”
If there are gods, I am going to make them cry if something happens to my friends.
⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇
I accompany the boys to the registration desk. There are people scowling at the sight of us – if there is something worse than a kid of a separatist, it’s a group of three marked kids. They see our relics and think of our parents, but no one understands that the dark lines that cover our arms are a permanent external reminder of our trauma. Garrick throws me a look when he sees me glaring back at those busy-bodies.
“Imogen, sometimes I think you don’t understand what keeping your head down and minding your business means.” He scolds me.
“Keep my head down? Why give them the satisfaction?” I bite back, using the same words Xaden said to me all those years ago. In the corner of my eye, I see him smirking at me.
“Arrogant bastards.” Garrick groans, rolling his eyes at us.
One of the most bittersweet feelings has to be when you realize how much you are going to miss a moment while you’re still living it. It is so easy to fall in pace with them and so hard to get used to their absence.
We are almost by the desk when Xaden turns to me, a soft smile on his lips. “Try not to kill anyone this year, Immy.”
I chuckle as I get on my tiptoes to hug him. “Try not to get killed, Riorson.”
I try to block every thought about the dangers that lie ahead for them. I try to ignore the possibility that this is goodbye. There will be many people trying to kill them, but I don’t know any other two people as tough as Xaden and Garrick. I should pity those who will try to kill them.
“See you in a year, Immy.” And then, with one last hug, he turns away from me, marching forward, towards the rider responsible with the list.
“I’ll take care of him, Imogen.” Garrick assures me. I almost melt under his soft gaze and I have a weird feeling in my stomach when I look at him.
I can’t be falling for Garrick Tavis. It is so, so wrong… but it is what is happening. And to be honest I think it began a long time ago and it is no fleeting feeling – I did not fall for him from the moment we first met, it is something that has taken roots along the years.
He did nothing special, but those little things he did made me fall for him. Little by little. With every protective gesture, with every scolding, with every bear hug and soft touch when he saw that I was sad… he crept up on me. I began to notice the way his hazel eyes looked like hot chocolate in the sun and how he used to save something sweet for me during our stay at the safe house. Every time he would let the guard down and throw his head back laughing with his whole heart, I found myself unable to look elsewhere.
Snapping back from my little daydreaming, I think about what he said. I know he will try his best to protect Xaden and the two of them will practically be inseparable. I don’t doubt that. He has always taken the role of protective mother hen in our group – considering all the stupid stuff we wanted to do, Garrick might be the only reason we are still alive.
“Take care of yourself too, Gar.”
“Will do. After all, you idiots have no self-preserving instinct.” He jokes, resting a hand on my shoulder.
I swear my mind is on auto-pilot as I unlace one of Braelyn’s daggers from the sheath on my tight and place it in his free hand. He is frowning in confusion, a little line appearing between his eyebrows.
“Take this with you. They are like lucky charms.” I manage to say, stumbling over the words and probably looking like a blushing idiot. I want to bury my head in the ground and never get out – that is my level of embarrassment.
“Immy, it’s your sister’s dagger, I cannot take it.” He protests, trying to give it back. My cheeks are practically on fire as I close his fingers over the dagger.
“Consider it a loan, then. You can give it back to me next year after I cross the parapet.” I insist, smiling weakly. I try to convince myself that this is payback for all the times he protected me, but I know I acted on my foolish feelings. This cheesy gesture is as far as I can go when it comes to admitting my feeling to Garrick.
He smiles softly and nods, putting the dagger in one of the countless sheaths on his vest. “You better fucking be there, Cardulo. I don’t like to have debts.”
Then he turns away and follows Xaden, without looking back. I keep my eyes glued on them until they are out of sight. Only then do I feel the air returning to my lungs and I can actually process what just happened.
If the parapet doesn’t kill me next year, the embarrassment of ever seeing Garrick again might. And aside from that, I agreed to practically be in charge of more than a hundred kids and of the son of the woman who killed my family.
What in the name of Malek was this day?