Chapter Text
"Then we have separate accommodations?" Mash asks, turning to look at Lance while you already stowed the coin inside your coat.
"Of course they are separate, Mash," Lance says as if it were obvious, making Finn break out in a cold sweat.
"You know we were selected at the beginning of the school year, right?"
Mash then seems to think, "Now that you mention it."
Mash then has a small flashback, remembering a unicorn skeleton and one of the teachers explaining the situation in more detail.
"Now let's separate the new students into their accommodations," the teacher explained while pulling out a paper to read from.
"You will touch the unicorn's horn, and through its powers, it will read your minds to see which house suits you." The teacher then revealed the skeleton, which was staring straight ahead.
"Now, to begin... Egalt Vandom."
"Here!" the student responds, approaching the skeleton and carefully holding its horn, making it speak, "Yes... yes... I sense ambition in you, combined with wisdom."
"You are best suited for the Orca dormitory." The student cheers happily, bowing in thanks. "Yay! Thank you, unicorn!"
The teacher then watches the student descend before pulling out the paper and reading the next name.
"Next, Alben Smith!" The student steps up again. "Here!" Holding the unicorn's horn, it begins to murmur.
"Yes... yes... fearless courage and an innovative spirit, the Adler dormitory is for you." And so it continues, with the teacher calling out names and each student stepping up to the unicorn, which gives its assessment.
"Hm, you have powerful magical abilities, radical ideas, and a challenging nature. To the Lang dormitory you go!" The unicorn speaks as it watches the girl walk away, leaving everyone else waiting for their turn.
"Hehe, for centuries I've done this job. I never make mistakes. Always reading the most hidden thoughts of people, I always get it right!" the unicorn thinks, mentally boasting about its ability. "Next is Mash Burnedead!"
"Okay," Mash says as he approaches, climbing the pillar and grabbing the unicorn's horn. To the unicorn's surprise, upon looking into the boy's mind, it only sees Mash surrounded by profiteroles, causing the unicorn to sweat, despite being a skeleton.
"Oops, I need to hold on," Mash says, gripping the unicorn's horn a bit more firmly, causing a small crack to appear.
"Ugh," the unicorn says, sweating coldly as it stares at the boy.
"Wow, this kid only thinks about profiteroles. What's his deal? Doesn't he have anything else in his head besides that?" The unicorn then looks at Mash, observing the boy's idiotic expression.
"There has to be something more in his head, right? Seriously, what is he thinking...? Wait a minute, is he drooling?"
Incredulous, the unicorn keeps looking at Mash, who is now cross-eyed and staring at himself while drool drips from his mouth.
"I can't throw in the towel. I've classified students for hundreds of years; I've never been without an answer! Let's try again!"
The unicorn then tries once more to read Mash's mind, but all it can see is Mash lying on thousands of profiteroles, saying, "Too good," with the sound of angels playing in the background. The unicorn remains silent for a moment before beginning to speak.
"While profiteroles have a gently toasted outer shell, inside they are filled with cream. Some, like the choux au craquelin, have a hard shell and a sticky center. In this way, profiteroles represent someone who is strong but remains gentle inside. Therefore..."
"IS HE JUST SAYING A BUNCH OF RANDOM STUFF?!" the students shout after hearing the unicorn's words, but that doesn't stop it from finishing.
"THE PASTRY LOVER GOES TO ADLER!!" the unicorn yells, with only Mash nodding in agreement.
"Alright then," Mash says, already climbing down from where he was, leaving some students shocked by the situation.
"WHERE'S THE LOGIC?!"
"That's exactly what happened," Mash says as everyone looks at him.
"So it was Mash that went through that," Dot and Finn think as they look at him, a bit surprised.
"Did that really happen?" you and Lance ask after witnessing Mash's flashback.