Chapter Text
Soap had ached for this, dreamed about this.
Returning to his home, to his den, his pack - cuddling and playing and napping together, that was everything he had ever wanted. Dozing off, knowing the others were simply there, around him.
Just that his dream had turned into another nightmare.
He didn't know who Valeria was, but he sure as hell got to know Roba. And now that monster had Rudy and Luna in his control.
Soap’s inner wolf whined uncontrolled, he shivered and was freezing. All he wanted was to shift and hide in his nest, just that it was empty.
Simon, his mate - already gone again.
"Soap."
Soap turned around, stopping in his whining. Before him stood Gaz and the Beta's dark chocolate eyes scanned him thoroughly. And then, without further words, Gaz pulled him into a tight embrace. Soap’s inner wolf immediately wiggled his tail, though Soap’s body froze for just a second.
Gaz pulled him tighter to his chest. "I missed you."
Carefully raising his arms, Soap needed a moment until he pressed himself closer to Gaz. The familiar mix of pomegranate and peppermint soothed his mind and his muscles relaxed. Soap's breath calmed down, at least a little.
"You know, it was very quiet without you."
An honest chuckle escaped Soap. Gaz parted from their embrace slightly, cupping Soap's face. Observing him sternly, Gaz' eyebrows furrowed in deep thoughts.
The direct attention caused Soap's skin to tickle. He swallowed and averted Gaz' gaze at his obvious questions in his eyes - questions he didn’t want to answer right now. Maybe never.
Gaz seemed to notice his mood, because his friend leaned forward and pulled him into another, quiet hug. Soap's smile returned to the warmth and he pressed his face in Gaz' neck, trying to hide the shiver in his body.
This was it - what he had missed, what his wolf had ached for the last weeks - his pack. Cuddling.
And Simon.
He wanted Simon.
Gaz eyed him, poking his cheek so hard that Soap made a grimace. "I think pack time is in order. Plenty of it."
Soap whined quietly at the thought, wondering if he ever could control that sound coming from him again, but he nodded. Shaking, he pulled himself free out of the tight embrace. His gaze flickered to the others, stopping at Price.
Steel-blue eyes were watching him thoroughly, but warm. And most of all, tired.
Soap swallowed, taking a look at the rest. They all looked tired. They had fought to free him. There had been deaths.
His heart clenched and he chewed his bottom lip nervously.
Dead wolves. Because of him. His heartbeat raced again, and he yearned for Simon, ached for the simplicity of a hug and nothing else. He didn’t want to think.
"For now, everyone who can keep their eyes open will watch out. Let the others know to be prepared." Price let his gaze wander over their little family. "The rest of you, tend to your wounds, shower, eat. Rest. We'll have pack time as soon as Alejandro and Ghost are back." He made a pause. "With or without the others."
The thought alone made the air inside their living room thicker. Heavy pheromones, mourn and grief and exhaustion mixed up into a terrible smell. Price looked at Soap, before he turned to Gaz.
"You make sure Soap gets something light into his stomach. And then rest. Both of you."
Gaz instantly glared at his mate. "I can watch out, too."
Price shrugged. "You do. You watch out for Soap."
Soap looked between them, unsure if he should interfere. He didn't want to be alone, yet he didn't want to have a babysitter, nor did he want to cause further problems.
Though maybe that's why he needed a babysitter after all.
Soap’s heart clenched another time. Squeezing his hands, he stared to the ground, as Gaz turned to him. His voice softened. “Well, maybe John is right. Your wounds might have healed, Soap, but it was close. I don't want Simon to return and have you fainted. Imagine what he’d do with me." Gaz walked forward, raising his chin and shrugged with a smile. "I’ll make you some chicken soup. With lots of chicken. And then we'll wait for them and chill on the sofa. How does that sound?"
It sounded like a dream. All what was missing was Simon. His mate.
With a heavy heart, Soap nodded, forcing himself to put up a dishonest smile. The motion hurt, and he felt terribly exhausted, his gaze flickering between the others restlessly. Guilt and grief worked up inside him, and a restlessness he didn’t know. Maybe he could escape to his own nest. Maybe he could take a look at his atelier. At his journal. Maybe he could draw.
Maybe he could scratch Makarov’s and Roba’s names on the paper, again and again and again and then - tear them apart.
A wave of sweet scent reached Soap’s nose, pulling him out of his dark thoughts and the spiral. Farah and Alex both approached him, warm smiles on their faces and a question in their eyes. Soap swallowed tears back, before he nodded. At once, both Farah and Alex pulled Soap into a hug, warm and tight and protective. Kisses on the top of his head made it harder to swallow the tears away, and maybe noticing his vulnerable state, they only whispered quiet words of welcomes into his ear, before they left for outside
While Price went to talk to Nik, Soap caught the serious gaze in both Alpha’s eyes, but Gaz’ hand around his wrist pulled him gently from the scene. Following Gaz reluctantly into the kitchen, Soap blinked and stared at everything as if it was new.
When had been the last time he was even here?
Gaz filled his silence with meaningless chatter. Soap was glad he didn't ask any questions. Instead, his friend told them about the new recruits, about the changes in their defences, about Farah and Alex and Chuy and Reyes, the changes in the garden, about the mess Simon had been when Soap was away. About how much Gaz had missed him himself.
He left out anything about Rudy or Luna, and Soap was grateful for that. His mind was foggy, loaded with too much and he felt restless despite having slept, almost anxious.
After slurping down the soup, his wolf itched terribly and he shifted without further ado. Not even waiting for Gaz, Soap jumped down the stairs and onto the sofa, burying his muzzle into the cushions until he found his ball by accident. Whining surprised, he took it between his teeth and chewed on it, his eyes fixed on the door.
Simon. His wolf, his heart, everything in him ached for Simon.
The familiar weight of the Beta dropped on him soon after. No questions followed, no more stories. Shifted himself, the beautiful dark brown wolf cuddled up behind Soap and a gentle nudge later, Gaz started to groom him, licking gently over his head until Soap's heart quietened down.
Soothing pheromones filled up the air. Soap still whined, hating himself for the pitiful and weak sound, but it turned into a peaceful purring as soon as Gaz chewed on his ear.
Rolling around, Soap buried his face in the Beta’s neck. He didn’t know how long they laid like this, when howling filled the area.
Perking up at once, Soap was wide awake immediately. He stormed off the sofa with Gaz close behind, out of the den and joined into the howling.
The sound of trucks and the smell of wheels filled the air. Agitated Soap stormed forwards, his tail wiggling wildly and he got nudged by more than one to stay behind.
Price stood at the front, with Nik directly next to him. Soaps' heart quickly scanned the arriving cars, more which had left. Some had the Shadow Company sign.
Whining impatiently, Gaz bit him into his ear.
When the trucks stopped and the doors opened; Soap couldn’t be stopped – the scent in the air didn’t find his nose, but his brain and his heart.
Whiskey. Honey. A sunny day in the cold forest.
Simon.
Jolting forward, Soap ran past Shadows and Laswell’s men, finding his mate without having to look. He barked once happily when he saw him and leaped up at his mate, Soap's muzzle driving all over Simon's body, happily barking when he found him unharmed. His tail wiggled so hard that it hurt, but Simon's arms were around him, his face buried in his fur and nothing else counted.
After a too long moment, in which Soap didn’t want to part from his mate, he smelled the stress radiating from his lover.
Looking up and around irritated; he searched for Ale, Rudy or Luna. He yowled worriedly, when he saw that Phil wasn't here as well. Just Oz who was talking to Price at the moment.
Anxious, Soap looked back to Simon, who smiled warmly.
"It's so good to return home and have you here."
Simon looked tired. The absence of their friends worried Soap nevertheless. Shifting back reluctantly, he reached quickly into the truck and wrapped the blanket around his hips, his eyes slipping through the Shadows.
"Where are they?"
Simon’s hand cupped Soap’s and despite the stress in his heart, Soap felt himself relaxing by the touch alone. Leaning into the hand, he stepped forward, wrapping an arm around his lover himself.
Simon let out a heavy breath. "We found Rudy. Graves brought Ale and him to the hospital."
Soap froze. Simon waited for a moment before he leaned forward and pulled Soap into a tight warm hug.
"Luna's missing."
The words sank in like clashing teeth. Soap's heart clenched painfully together, and before his inner wolf could attempt anything himself, a pitiful howl came from his right. Turning his head, Soap saw Gaz howling in pain, and soon every shifted member of their pack joined in.
But within seconds, whine, grief and mourn turned into something else - loud, angry, rageful barking and snarling. The mood and the air shifted and with it, some of the Shadows. They eyed the wolves carefully, but Oz only raised a hand and the men fell back, stepping back to their trucks.
Price's eyes found Soap’s and Simon’s and he didn't need to say a word. Words weren’t needed, nor possible, for what hat happened.
Someone had taken their pup. Their little, innocent, defenceless pup.
That meant another war. And they hadn’t even cleaned up after the last one.
Soap quickly buried his face back in the crook of Simons neck.
No thinking. He didn’t want to think, this was just too much.
A cloak of safety wrapped around him as well as a pair of arms. Sweet honey fogged his mind in a calming, reassuring way and Soap found himself purring.
In the next moment, he got pushed, landed with a surprised sound painfully on his butt and stared at two balls of fur rolling over each other. Simon had shifted back, growling barking at another wolf. The sharp scent stung in Soap’s nose even in his human form, when Simon placed himself protectively in front of him, his fur raised and his fangs bared.
Soap furrowed his brows and looked past Simon to the stranger wolf, freezing when he noticed the sweet almond fur. He blinked a few times, getting a headache. Lavender. Too much of it.
“El! Back down!”
Howling, whining - Ghost still growled at the wolf who kept staring at Soap. His father appeared seemingly out of nowhere, glaring at the wolf but quickly his gaze softened. He threw a glance to Soap, then raised both hands and wrapped them softly around the wolf’s body. “It’s complicated. They just lost their pup. Not now, Elsie.”
Elsie.
Soap’s jaw dropped. Ghost retreated, shifting back, and pulled Soap up from the ground. He became calmer, but still placed himself protectively in front of the wolf.
In front of Elsie.
Elsie, who was whining at him
Within a second, she shifted, sobbing helplessly, staring from Soap to their father and she looked exactly like he knew her. “But Da-.... I…” She sniffed, looking back and Soap had to look away, the headache throbbing heavily in the back of his head.
No thinking. This was just too much.
“Pumpkin?”
Soap twitched, freezing in Simon’s warm embrace. A shudder ran over his spine, a coldness spreading throughout his body.
Pumpkin.
“That’s me part of the cake, pumpkin! Go get yarself another piece!”
Playful fighting, a cake in his face. His father chuckled in the background, while his mother let out an angry yell. “Pumpkin – that’s enough!”
A needle in his arm and the next time Soap woke up his friend was there again, smiling softly. “Ah, you’ve become sick again. But don’t worry. You’re on a good way, Pumpkin.”
Throbbing, a sharp pain, no air in his lungs. Simon was here, but the embrace was cold. The blood rushed in Soap’s ears and he felt dizzy. He heard someone talking to him, but he didn’t want to listen, didn’t want to think, didn’t want to have to deal with all of this fucking mess, all he wanted was to be alone!
Shuddering, he shifted and leaped away without listening to anyone. He heard his father calling after him, but he didn't stop. Rushing through the crowd back into the den, Soap jumped on the sofa and stuck his muzzle into the soft fabric where Gaz had laid before, which still smelled like the Beta, and like Price, and Simon and….
He whined pitifully, catching a whiff of Ale and Rudy, even of Luna. Immediately looking for his ball, he chewed on it whining, the motion helping him to stay focused and distracted.
He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to be alone with Simon.
And he didn’t want to think about what had happened.
He was home. He was back in the den. Simon was here. Everything was fine again.
Just that it wasn't.
Only a few moments later, the door opened. Soap stopped chewing, when a wave of Whiskey cloaked him and he promptly relaxed. Simon’s heavy wolf form dropped on him. Soap let go of his toy and turned his head, licking over Simon’s face until his own chest vibrated with his own purring, his heartbeat calming down with every second Simon simply laid on him.
No questions, nothing. Simon only watched him and allowed Soap to groom his fur until it was fluffy and almost curly.
Soap didn't want this moment to end. He wanted this, forever, and not to think.
The others came in one after another. Gaz and Price were first, and Gaz pushed his mate immediately on the chair. Soap stopped in his motions to lick over Simon's face, but cuddled nearer to his lover.
When Farah and Alex joined, their eyes found him. At once, Soaps' tail wiggled.
There were hands on his fur, kisses on his head, soft words of relief in his ear. His wolf sensed their restlessness to shift, but they didn’t do.
Looking at their pack leader Soap knew why.
There was no time for cuddling or playing or dozing. Not even to rest. They had to plan. They head to protect. They had to work.
Soap whined when he saw Price's defeated tired face and freed himself out of his own self-made hug prison. Alex and Farah let go of him at once, though Simon chewed on his ear, half-heartedly trying to keep him back.
Moving almost silently and with a hanging head, Soap approached his pack leader quietly. Gaz eyed him irritated but with a tired smile. Even Nik, who came in right now, found a smile and Soap’s tail wiggled a bit harder.
This was what he wanted. He wanted them to smile and be happy, to stop the nightmare from coming alive and consuming their every thought.
But he didn’t trust his own mouth, he couldn’t think of a joke he could say, or a motivational phrase to slip of his tongue, because his own mind was still consumed by the dark.
But if his human self couldn’t comprehend what was happening, he would simply trust his wolf. Price’s steel-blue eyes softened, when Soap picked up the ball and dropped it in Price’s lap.
With a warm smile, his pack leader huffed, leaned forward and scratched Soap between his ears. “It was about time to have you back, sunshine.”
Soap’s tail wiggled at the smile and the nickname. His eyes switched to Gaz, who sat down on the armrest next to his mate, wrapping an arm around him. Soap sat down, allowing Price to bury his hands into his fur, even when the Alpha’s eyes grew tired and serious again.
“We need to set up a plan for our defences. Patrols. Controls of our cameras. As soon as Kate is back on her feet, we need to discuss how to approach.” Price made a grimace. “We defeated Makarov, but we still got his Alphas in custody. His followers in the world, we need to make a public announcement of his death and his defeat, and we need to find a solution to what to do with those others shifters we saved, help them find their families. For now, they need beds and…”
Price closed his eyes, a sharp twitch running over his face. Gaz quickly slid nearer, brushing over his head sternly. “We will do all that. We will talk to Kate, to the Shadows, find and kill Roba and Valeria and get Luna back.”
Soap’s eyes flickered over to the Beta when Gaz spoke of more killing. Unsure, he got up, and Price let go of him easily, even if brushing over his fur once more. Tapping back to the sofa behind him, Soap hopped up to Simon, crawling to his side. At once, Simon put an arm over him, licking over his face lovingly.
Gaz huffed. “But first - we’ll take a nap. You especially.”
Gaz sounded almost pissed, but the hitch of his worry laid thick in the air. Soap looked up between moments of Simon’s affection. Nik walked up tiredly, squeezing Price's shoulder as stern as Gaz looked.
“Your boy is right. We will solve everything. The ones who are still standing will start to check the defences but all of us need sleep.” He crooked a sad smile. “And tomorrow, we’ll bury our fallen ones. That's the first thing we'll do. Together with those we found.”
Soap felt Nik’s gaze on his, the memory he had tried to bury right now, coming just back up - his father, his sister – Soap shuddered, turned around and buried his muzzle in Ghost's fur.
Just this. Breathing in. Breathing out. With Simon.
He didn’t want to think about the fact, he had to deal with his family later. He didn’t want to think about how he was taken, about the lies he had been told, about his pack and… He yowled pitifully in Simon’s chest, feeling his tongue gently on his head.
“John.”
Gaz’ voice became softer, while Price groaned tiredly. Gaz let out a sigh. “We all need pack time.”
“Alright, muppets.”
Before Soap knew what was happening, a heavy weight crushed on him. He yelped up in surprise but his wolf wiggled his tail as soon as he smelled Gaz. Ghost was growling annoyed, but not angry, shoving Gaz playfully away.
Landing on the ground, Gaz barked at him, and then Soap couldn’t be stopped.
Chasing his friend through the living room, that was everything important right now. Everything he was able to process right now.
Farah and Alex soon joined in into the chase, though Alex was unusually slow. They all jumped at him when they realized he couldn't keep track, and the four of them united in a ball of fur, rolling around over the ground and chewing on each other's ear, barking at each other happily and playfully to keep the other one going.
From time to time, Soap looked up to check up on Simon. The Alpha watched them lazily, but with a keen expression on Soap himself. When Soap started to become tired, he dropped away from the game, yawned heavily and treaded over to Price and Nik. Nik had shifted and laid behind Price, allowing the man to rest his back on the broad back of the alpha. Soap took his gentle nudges from both the Alphas before he retreated back to Simon’s side, immediately being welcomed with soft licks and nudges and an adamant pull to his side.
Simon purred, wrapping an arm over Soap and kept him down.
Weariness washed over him. Exhaustion, tiredness and worry mixing up to a numbing feeling. With an eye to Farah and Alex now cuddling with each other and Gaz returning to Price's side, Soap blinked a few more times until he finally could fall asleep peacefully where he wanted to be for weeks.
Home.