Chapter Text
Joy flipped through “non-memory recall” in frustration. On finding this manual, her idea was they could find a way to “recall” Riley to their position as an easy way to rescue her, but there wasn’t anything she could find in the book which indicated that was an option. Joy groaned, pulling her hands on her face. It felt like they’d been at this for days. And since they didn’t have Headquarters to check the time against, for all she knew, they could’ve been. Joy then began to reach for another manual, when she felt a hand on her arm. She looked over, seeing Anger.
“Joy, you need a break.”
Joy gave Anger a small glare. “Didn’t you say we had to ‘work until our eyeballs fall out?’”
Anger gave a shrug. “Sure, but you’ve been looking through that manual back to front at least seven times. And you’re repeating yourself. You need a break so you can actually focus when you come back.”
Joy gave a sigh, and set the manual down.
Anger gave a gesture. “Walk with me. Let’s get away from all this activity for just a few moments.”
Weaving past mind workers and other emotions, they made their way to the base of a memory shelf, where there were several chairs set up. Joy gave Anger a confused look, who gave a half grin and just said, “Imaginary chairs. They have everything in there.”
Joy sat herself down. She still felt like a mess, but at the very least, the panic had worn off. She looked off towards the Memory Dump. It still was haunting without seeing the column of Headquarters there. Joy then gave a deep sigh.
Anger sat down on a much more comfy chair next to Joy. “We’re going to save her Joy. We have all the tools we need, and we’ll fix this.”
Joy stared out again, not talking back at first. Then after a few moments, she turned to look at Anger. “How do you do it?”
Anger’s brow knitted down. “Do what?”
Joy gave him an exasperated look. “Look at me. I’m a mess! I haven’t been awake this long since the first time I got sent out of Headquarters. I regret how things have gone with Riley when I only wanted to talk to her. I might’ve accidentally made her like the inside more than the outside. I couldn’t stop her from feeling isolated.” Then she gestured at Anger. “But you? You’re the one who broke the intercom in the first place. Said a few sharp things on Tuesday that made Riley angry at herself. And you’re still moving forward like it’s just another day. We’re in a crisis and you’re being rational about helping me focus again? Why aren’t you feeling the same regret and fear I am?”
Anger gave a bit of a frown. “Do I look like Fear to you? That wiggly wimp is the opposite of who I am.” Joy frowned at this. Anger rolled his eyes in response to the frown. “Part of it is just how I am. I’m a fighter, Joy. That’s what I do for Riley. Push her to fight so that she’s always treated fairly and gets what she ought to have. So if I have to fight to bring her back to her mind or pound some mind problem to rescue her, then I’ll do it. Besides, I have to give her a proper talking to for trying to repress us.” Then he lowered his eyes, and gave a small smile. “And as for the rest? Well, I can’t really be mad at myself even if I’ve had some choice words for the people around us. After all, if I didn’t break the intercom, then Riley would’ve never had the chance to meet us at all. And even though it got messy afterward, Riley thanked me for making that mistake. And I can’t ever regret what happened if our girl thinks I did something good even by accident.”
Joy then swept her hands across the air. “But we could die! Isn’t there some part of you that wishes you didn’t break the intercom?”
Anger then looked down. Joy was surprised at that. “Well, maybe a little. You weren’t there, but we called up the mind workers to see if we could get the intercom fixed. They said they couldn’t fix it with what they had right now, and that if I broke it any more, Riley might start to hear and see things that really weren’t there.”
Joy’s eyeballs shrunk. “That…actually sounds like schizophrenia.”
“Yeah,” Anger agreed.
Joy looked over to Anger. “Well, at least…”
Anger interrupted her. His expression was still angry, but also had a hint of fear to it. “Joy, Riley was convinced that she needed to take antipsychotics to prevent the intercom from breaking any more. She almost wanted to go behind everyone’s back to get it.”
Joy blinked hard at that. “But she didn’t. She wouldn’t!”
Anger sighed. “No, she didn’t. Fear talked her out of it. Convinced her that she had to be safe before taking anything. Heck, Mom and Dad did talk about going that direction with us right before we met up with you.”
“Is that why Riley was so angry about everything?”
Anger grimaced. “Maybe a little.”
Joy frowned. “But…” A thought suddenly struck her. Uneasily, she asked, “Anger, Riley was even more worried that we might’ve been a schizophrenic delusion than when she first learned about it. Did Riley start hearing voices that weren’t us during school?”
Anger frowned. “We..aren’t entirely sure. But…there was an incident with both Ann and Tracy. For all we know, Riley just imagined something we would’ve said, and mistook the imagined thing for us. Yet when Riley heard it…well, she almost turned violent on both of them.”
“I can’t believe this. Ann, you’re siding with Tracy over me?!”
Ann backed a few steps off. Her face was sympathetic, but firm. “This isn’t about siding with anyone Riley. You told me that you’re hearing voices that you can’t stop. Doesn’t that concern you even a little?”
“I said I don’t need help from anyone! Especially not a traitor like you!” Riley pulled her elbow back.
Fear shrieked, “Riley! Not in the hall!”
“You’ll ruin what’s left of your credibility with the others in your class.” Disgust added.
“Or, you could show that no good traitor how you really feel.”
All the other emotions turned to look at Anger in a flash. Anger for his part looked very confused. “That…wasn’t me.”
Riley had curled her hand into a fist, but when she heard Anger say that, a sudden wave of panic came over her. And she immediately dropped her hand. She could feel fear and sadness both pressing a button, but it definitely didn’t make her feel better. “Oh no.” she murmured as she turned away from the two girls. “No. No no no, this can’t be happening to me.”
“You see?” Tracy spoke from behind her. “She was about to turn violent on us. Don’t you get it Ann? Riley’s a danger to us and herself! She NEEDS to have herself checked or taken away.”
Riley turned to look at Tracy. She wanted to scream and use the whole curse word library at once, but she was feeling too many different feelings at once. She didn’t have the energy for it. Her tone was bitter, but resigned. “I don’t expect YOU of all people to understand Tracy. How could you? I bet you don’t even have a shred of Sadness towards me right now.”
Tracy had a wave of confusion pass over her face. Then she frowned. “Ugh. You’re talking crazy again.” Then Tracy gave Riley a disgusted look. “I will do whatever it takes to protect myself from a crazy girl like you.”
“Clearly words aren’t working on a jerk like that. Maybe you ought to show her what happens when she goes against you.”
Disgust blanched. “Riley, that wasn’t ME!”
Riley had raised her palm in the air, a frustrated frown on her face. Oh, how she wanted to act on her anger and disgust right now! But, Fear and Disgust were still right. She couldn’t do this here. And if she was truly becoming schizophrenic, then all she’d be doing is proving Tracy right.
Instead, she moved her hand an inch, Tracy flinching in front of her. Riley leaned over, and with almost a growl she hissed, “I’M. NOT. CRAZY. I’m tired. I’m angry. You wouldn’t understand it, but I’m NOT Crazy!” Riley then shot a glare at Ann. “And that goes for you too Ann!” Riley then stalked away, but not before kicking the locker behind her in frustration.
Joy blanched. “And…we don’t have any idea where those voices came from?”
Anger shook his head. “We don’t. For all we know, the Intercom really WAS breaking down more.”
Joy sniffed. “I’m sorry, Anger. Maybe if I didn’t leave, we could’ve managed Riley better and found the cores together last night.”
Anger shook his head. “We made the best decision we could at the time. If you had stayed with us, Possibility Island wouldn’t have helped Fear talk Riley down from her bad idea. And I don’t think you could’ve helped with some of the other problems we had while you were gone.” Anger frowned deeply. “Although a part of me wishes I forgot what Puberty actually is.”
Joy raised an eyebrow at that.
“Not the time to discuss.”
Joy sighed. “So, how do you face any regret you might have?”
Anger’s look softened. “I have to keep moving forward, no matter what.”
Joy blinked. “That’s it?”
Anger put a hand on Joy. “If we let our mistakes define us, then we may as well give up now. I know I made a big mistake last year, and I made a mistake last week. But that won’t stop me from going on. I have to. It’s only fair for me, and for Riley that I keep fighting to give her the best life possible. After all, Riley would be terrible at Hockey if I wasn’t there.” He smirked at that last sentence. Joy rolled her eyes at that, but managed a slight smile. The first she’d had in hours.
Suddenly, they heard Fear’s voice come over the area. “I think we found something. Emotions, bring it in.”
Anger gave Joy a nudge. “What did I tell you? All the tools we need.”
As the emotions gathered around Fear, they saw the other emotion Anxiety had pointed out after bringing all the manuals together. This emotion was indigo, tall like Fear, but with long straightened hair, and a sharper nose. She wore dark but comfortable clothes. Her eyelids were open, but she had a bit of a lazy eyed look to herself. She had a fairly large manual in front of her.
“Ah, gather up drama queens.” the being said. “I found something that might help in Mind Emergencies.”
“Drama queens?” Disgust asked. “Look here Miss….”
The being smirked. “Ennui. It is what you call, the boredom.”
Joy gave a confused look. “En-wee?”
“Ennui. It’s French, but it’s more about Riley controlling herself than just boredom.” Ennui then frowned. “But I have to say I’m a bit disappointed that Riley tried to do it herself by locking you all out. My stuff would’ve worked so much better than trying to feel by herself. At least I could’ve brought in a little sarcasm if she wanted to play it cool during the day on Tuesday!”
Sadness gestured to stop Ennui’s rant. “What did you find?”
Ennui then knelt down. “It was in the section on Special Emergencies.”
A Headquarters Collapse is the most dangerous thing to happen to a mind. It will result in unconsciousness for the host’s body. However, depending on when it happens in a Host’s life can change the severity of the problem. For an older host, a collapse could either signal the end of a host's life or some severe physical injury that caused brain damage. In these cases, outside help is required for restarting the mind. For emotions, the best you can do is work on Console Construction (see related manual), and prepare for host reenergizing.
For a younger host, there are several different ways to begin self repairs, as the mind will have more internal resources to resume operations. First is to determine the cause of collapse. As different causes will need different solutions. After determining the cause of collapse, please see the index at the back of the manual in order to determine next steps.*
Disgust and Anger both groaned. “So we have to find manuals to go with this manual??”
Ennui almost smirked. “What did I say? Drama queens.” Before either could retort, she continued. “This manual is our base manual for figuring out what to do next. But first, what exactly happened up there? When we got the evacuation order, we weren’t exactly sure what caused it.”
Fear stepped up. “Riley was trying to mutiny! She wanted to stay in the Mind World forever, and took a whole bunch of manuals in order to do that.”
Anxiety, who’d been very quiet up to this point, already looked like she was about to hyperventilate. “She WHAT?? But, how did that cause a collapse?”
Sadness then filled in. “It looked like Riley was trying to turn her energy self into her conscious self. At least, that’s what I think she was trying to do with all the different mind manuals she picked out. And she could only do that with a LOT of Consciousness Tampering. But when she was going to recall a memory to finish up, I think she might’ve pressed the defuse emotional response button on accident. The system couldn’t handle it, and all that energy caused an overload.”
Fear peaked over Joy’s shoulder, and pointed. “Hey, what was that fine print marker on the page?”
Ennui moved a hand down to look for the footnote.
*For hosts with a collapse or imminent collapse caused by Consciousness Tampering (see Outside Assessment Manual for supplementary information), turn to page 398.
Fear sighed in relief. “Well, at least this manual get very specific about what we need to do. Ennui, can you turn to page 398?”
Ennui flipped towards the back of the manual. Until it landed on page 398.
If Headquarters is collapsing due to Consciousness Tampering, activate Emergency Evacuation Protocols (Advanced Console Operations) IMMEDIATELY . Failure to do so could result in the Host being unable to survive afterwards, or a loss of emotion for future interactions.
Joy looked at Sadness. “Did…did you know about this?”
Sadness looked down. “I read it during the drive from Minnesota. It’s one of those things you never forget.”
Joy patted Sadness on the head. “Well, at least you remembered. We took care of the first step to save Riley without needing to read it.”
Ennui then kept reading. “ After evacuation, follow the instructions below. Order is not specific to the first few tasks, but DO NOT attempt task 6 until all previous tasks are complete for mental stability.
- Fortify Long Term Memory shelves. Without headquarters to support the overall mind, the memory dump will expand. So ensure the mind workers complete Mind Protocol 1999 to avoid maximum memory loss.
- Complete console reconstruction (see Console Construction & Advanced Console Operations).
- Find the host. Due to the nature of consciousness tampering, the host will be stuck in a state of limbo between waking, sleeping and unconsciousness. If the host is not within the Upper Mind, please refer to the manual on the Unconscious to seek the host out.
- Create a core foundation. This doesn’t refer to Core memories, but any new Headquarters will need mental energy to reactivate. So be sure to have at least 50 memories in the Belief System (see Unconscious) before activating task 6.
- Regather all primary emotions at console.* (Primary emotions include Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust and Fear. Secondary emotions need not participate, but should be close by in preparation for reenergizing)
- All primary emotions and the host start the reconstruction process through activation of the new console. Until all emotions and the host use the console at the same time, the mind will not be able to resync with the belief system to begin the reconstruction process. Memory Recall button is best used by the host for resetting energy structure to a point of “safe rebuilding”. Mind workers can then come in to rebuild Headquarters back to a previous setup or to any overdue expansions. This is an ESSENTIAL use of Consciousness Tampering that cannot be performed by any other being. And will require the Host to BELIEVE that this is possible in order to begin.
- When Headquarters is reconstructed, make sure that Host has removed Emotion Lockout from previous setup (See Console Construction) before reawakening.
- Complete total mind assessment. This can be done with a general mind worker report in, or via host inspection. It is essential to know all aspects of the mind are ready to function again before attempting repair, or damage to the mind will be permanent.
- Host must reenter REM sleep in order for their energy self to reconnect with their physical body again. As a reminder, the key is for the host to relax their mind in order to break the old lucid dreaming link.
- Upon awakening, make sure all parts of the host's body work properly, as mind disconnect may have occurred.
(Note: Host’s connection to past memories may be severed depending on how long the host is in the Unconscious. Restoration of memory is not essential to fixing Headquarters, but if Host asks for a restoration, please see Advanced Console Operations for steps to reconnect Host to Long Term Memory and Islands of Personality. This can be done either before or after step 6.)
Ennui then slumped over backwards, dropping the manual. “Ugh. That was exhausting. Time for my break.” She then pulled out her phone, and began playing with it.
Joy then reached out for the manual. Looking over the many steps, she then gave a bright smile to the other emotions. “I think we have our plan. We have to get the mind workers to enact protocol 1999, make a new console, and find Riley.”
Anxiety spoke up. “For that second thing, what we need is to find the two manuals it mentioned. I know that we had copies on our floor. Did it make it out on yours?”
Anger and Joy looked at each other. Anger then spoke up. “Everything was happening so fast, I don’t know if it’s here or if it got flung out into the wider mindscape.” Anger then remembered something. “Fear, you were the last emotion near the console, and I think Riley used those manuals when she wanted to stay here forever. Did you pick it up?”
Fear frowned sheepishly. “I..I don’t know. I was moving so fast I grabbed the first two manuals I could, then went for Riley. I think I grabbed the basic Console Construction? But I have no idea where the other one went.”
Disgust gave a tired groan. “Well, what was it you said, Anger? Every second counts for saving Riley. So, I say we split up. Some of us will find mind workers to start making a replacement console. Some of us can search for any missing manuals. Some of us can start telling the Forgetters and others about Protocol 1999. And some of us can find Riley.”
Anxiety raised a hand. “I’ll start spreading the word about Protocol 1999. As you can see, I’m clearly the fastest of everyone, so I can start saving Riley’s memories the quickest. Then I’ll see if I can find any other mind manuals along the way. But just in case, will you all be working on the console here when I finish?”
Sadness shrugged. “If we’re not here, I’m sure it’ll be easy enough to find us with how fast you move.” She then thought of something, and ran to grab a manual, which she handed to Anxiety. “Use this to navigate Long Term Memory. It has a guide to finding different parts of the mind depending on where you are in Long Term.”
Anxiety nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll get it all done. I’ll get protocol 1999 all over the mind, then I’ll find the lost manual, and Riley will be good as new in no time. And after that she’ll get better, and we’ll find a way to turn her friends onto her side and avoid being locked up in an asylum, and…”
Joy cleared her throat. “One thing at a time Anxiety.”
Anxiety nodded uneasily, then took off straight into Long Term. As her form disappeared, the other emotions could faintly hear her calling out, “EMERGENCYYYYYY!!!”
Sadness looked at everyone else. “Who wants to figure out where Riley is?”
Joy and Fear both spoke up at once. “I’ll go find Riley.” They both looked at each other. They both narrowed their eyes. “No, I’ll do it. I have to do this. It’s the only way I’ll make up for messing up…okay this is getting weird. Stop copying me!”
Disgust slapped her face. “If both of you are so passionate about it, why don’t you both find where Riley even is.”
Fear gave an uneasy nod. “That’s fair.”
Joy gave a slight smile. “Two heads are better than one after all.”
Sadness then spoke up. “Joy, do you want me to work on making a new console, or look for lost manuals? I could work in either space, so I don’t know where I can be used best.”
Joy looked at the stack of Mind Manuals that hadn’t been opened yet. “Why don’t you, Disgust and Anger finish looking though these manuals to make sure you have what you need. Then you can go look for any manuals you still need, taking whoever you want.” Joy then glanced over at Ennui. “Ennui, do you…want to supervise console construction when they get started?”
Ennui gave Joy a lazy look. “Eh. Whatever.” She raised her phone up briefly. “Although, shouldn’t you all make sure we all know what’s going on with each other? I’m not giving up my phone, but we should keep in touch when we split up.”
Disgust frowned in annoyance. “That…makes perfect sense. But without Headquarters, we can’t exactly reach out to each other very easily.”
Joy tapped her head briefly, then brightened. “But the mind workers will probably have something.” She looked off towards Dream Productions, which surprisingly still had its lights on, and to Imagination Land which…didn’t look great. “I’ll go check Imagination Land for anything that might work.”
Fear chimed in. “I’ll come with you.”
Disgust then spoke up. “I’ll see if there’s anything in Dream Productions.”
Sadness looked at the manuals. “Anger, you want to see what we can find here?”
Anger growled, but shrugged. “Might as well.” He then glanced at Ennui. “At least until Boredom here finishes her break.”
Ennui rolled her eyes. “Don’t rush me.”
Joy looked at Disgust. “As soon as you find something that might work, come right back here. Then we can move on with the plan.”
“Yes Joy.” Disgust said without preamble. Then she began making her way towards the studio.
“Come on Fear.”
And with that, Joy and Fear were off too. Sadness and Anger meanwhile returned to the stacks. Brushing their hands over the spines, trying to find anything on Console Construction.