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Red Hood's Cleaning Fairy

Chapter 8: Stephanie Brown

Summary:

Chet Baker - But Not For Me
The Chordettes - Mr Sandman

Steph meets the man of her dreams and realizes this man already has a man so there goes her dreams.

Notes:

Ages:
Jason - 22 (mentally, probably 80)
Tim - 18 (mentally, 180)
Steph - 18 (mentally, 14)
Dick - 29 (mentally, 12)
Batman - old bachelor but who cares, he's still got sexy man awards

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Stephanie Brown, Robin extraordinaire , found herself at yet another October bash, hosted by some old rich guy she didn’t give two hot dogs about. It was an annual event where Gotham’s rich and famous liked to flaunt their donation receipts for the upcoming holidays. She had attended a few of these events by now, and while they tended to feel stuffy and pretentious, she always looked forward to the capanes. Honestly, if she had to endure being ignored by rich folks who could probably smell the poor on her, at least she could do it while munching on fancy hors d’oeuvres.

Still, there were perks to being here–watching Bruce Wayne play the role of Gotham’s lovable airhead, for instance, if Dick wasn’t around to steal the spotlight. Sometimes both of them would put on a show and compete to who could evoke the most scandalized gasps. As it happened, though both of them were in attendance tonight, it was Dick on distraction duty, flitting through the ballroom like a particularly drunk butterfly. He had the crowd either eating out of the palm of his hand or grimacing at it before taking it anyway. Steph found herself chuckling as she watched him play the part of “Gotham’s Golden Boy.”

 

They’re writing songs of love, but not for me

 

She had her phone in hand, recording the latest of Dick’s antics, when something–or rather, someone–caught her eye. She zoomed in, focusing past the swarm of socialites and toward a guy who practically glowed amidst the dull, glittering crowd. Average height, lean, dressed in a standard black tux but with those fancy chain collar brooches, his shaggy black hair framed a face that might as well have been sculpted by angels. But it wasn’t just his impeccable bone structure that had caught her attention. It was his eyes that sparkled, not with amusement for Dick’s antics, but with wonder as he gazed up at the chandelier and muraled ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

How the hell was this guy even real?

 

A lucky star’s above, but not for me

 

Steph couldn’t help herself; she needed to meet him. Pocketing her phone into her evening gown (it had pockets!) she made her way across the room, weaving through Gotham’s elite less like a drunken butterfly and more like a dog at a show running an obstacle course. It was a bad analogy but Steph wasn’t known for good analogies anyway. Just as she was about to reach him, a large, hulking figure moved in her way, blocking her path like a living Berlin Wall. Startled, Steph let out a little yelp, causing the pretty boy to snap out of his trance and look at her. His eyes were even more mesmerizing up close–so blue, with those flecks of purple that almost seemed unreal. And the smile he gave her was sweet, if a little confused, like he wasn’t quite sure what she was doing there but didn’t mind it either.

 

With love to lead the way

 

“It’s alright, Jim,” he said softly to the human mountain in front of her. The man–who she now realized was clearly security–nodded and took a step back, though not quite as far as Steph would’ve liked. Still, it was enough space for her to step forward and try to introduce herself. But before she could even get a word out, the pretty boy beat her to it.

 

I’ve found more clouds of gray

 

“You’re Stephanie Brown, right?”

Steph’s brain short-circuited for a second. He knew her? He knew her? Was this love at first sight?

She blinked, trying to process what was happening. “Uh, yeah! That’s me,” she managed, trying her best to sound casual despite the flutter of excitement in her chest. “How’d you know?”

 

Than any Russian play could guarantee

 

He tilted his head consideringly, “You saved the heir of Fox Gardens with a Heimlich maneuver at their own restaurant opening. I was actually there to see it.”

She blinked, trying to process what was happening. “Uh, yeah! That’s me,” she managed, trying her best to sound casual despite the flutter of excitement in her chest. “And you are…?”

 

I was a fool to  fall and get that way

 

The guy smiled again, more warmly this time. “Tim. Tim Drake.”

Drake. She’d heard that name before, of course, but it didn’t click immediately in the haze of her minor infatuation. All she could think of was how those blue-purple eyes were still sparkling, though this time they were focused on her.

 

Hi-ho alas, and also, lack-a-day

 

Steph felt like she was floating. After the initial awkwardness of meeting Tim Drake, they ended up bonding over the most unlikely topic–chili dogs. Of all things, they debated where to find the best ones in Gotham, and when Tim revealed that his favorite spot was a humble cart parked near Crime Alley, she was floored. She grinned wide and agreed, “The guy at Park Row? No way, that’s my favorite too!”

 

Although I can’t dismiss the memory of her kiss

 

But then, a question nagged at her. How did Tim know about a place like that? Park Row wasn’t exactly the kind of area you’d expect a guy in a tux to frequent. Steph tilted her head, curious. “Wait, how do you know about that spot?”

Tim’s answer threw her for a loop. “I lived around there for a while,” he said casually. “Before I moved out.”

Steph’s eyebrows shot up. Lived there? Tim seemed so polished, so… different from the rest of Gotham’s grime. “Where do you live now?” she asked, leaning in, eager to hear more.

Before he could answer, another hulking figure appeared beside them–this one younger, beefier, and undeniably good-looking. The sheer amount of attractive guys she’d seen tonight was beginning to make her dizzy, but the real surprise came when this new guy wrapped his arm around Tim’s waist in an easy, practiced motion. Tim didn’t even startle. Instead, he smiled softly, tilted his head as the guy stooped down to plant a kiss in his hair.

 

I guess she’s not for me

 

Tim didn’t miss a beat. He was still talking to Steph about chili dogs, local bakeries making gluten free options, and halal meat alternatives, as if this was more interesting than the adonis waiting on him for a scrap of attention. “Babe, I know you’re hungry, but you wanna introduce me to your new friend?” the newcomer asked, his voice casual, but the weight of familiarity was clear.

 

They’re writing songs of love, but not for me

 

Steph’s mind screeched to a halt. Her brain was short-circuiting again, but this time not in the dreamy way it had been earlier. She watched as Tim blinked in realization. “Oh! Jay, sorry. I got distracted.”

 

A lucky star’s above, but not for me

 

The guy– Jay –smirked in a way that said he knew exactly how Tim’s mind worked and found it endearing. “This is Jason, my boyfriend,” Tim said.

And just like that, the warm, floating feeling in Stephani’s chest came crashing down like shattered glass.

 

With love to lead the way

 

She stood there, trying to keep her composure, but inside, she could practically hear the sound of her dreams cracking.

“Stephanie? Are you okay?” Tim’s voice pulled her out of her spiraling thoughts, his concern genuine. His brow furrowed slightly as he looked at her with those sincere, blue eyes.

 

I found more clouds of gray

 

Steph went through the stages of grief at lightning speed. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. It all hit her like a tidal wave in the span of two seconds. Then she put on her brightest grin and rallied. “Sorry! I just didn’t expect that! Like, wow, you know? Two hot guys, like peas in a pod, at this fancy shindig, no fear, just owning it. Hell yeah!” The words kept spilling out of her mouth, faster than she could stop them. God, she wanted to crawl under the table and hide. The Louboutins she’d worn with so much confidence now felt like they were mocking her–maybe she did deserve to stab herself with them.

 

Than any Russian play could guarantee

 

But then Jason laughed, a deep sound that cut through her rambling. He reached out to pat her on the shoulder, and the gesture felt weirdly reassuring. “It’s alright, we get it,” he said, his tone good-natured.

Steph exhaled in relief, feeling some of the tension lift. “I mean, damn, you two look so good together. You’re so lucky!” She felt herself cringing inside, but she was committed to the bit now.

 

I was a fool to fall and get that way

 

Tim’s face lit up with that angelic smile again. “Thank you! I think so too.”

And damn it, there it was again–that impossible, sweet innocence that made it hard to be mad at him for anything. Even if he started spouting rich-kid nonsense, Steph knew she would still end up liking him. She watched as Jason glanced down at Tim with that soft, affectionate look that people only got in rom-coms. It was enough to make her heart ache with both jealousy and hope.

 

Hi-ho alas, and also, lack-a-day

 

They were good together. Like, really good together. Steph wanted to be their friend so badly. She wanted in on whatever perfect universe they were living in, even if it was just for the foodie talk. “Hey can I get your number? You know, for, uh, chili dog comparisons,” she said, flashing her best, most casual smile. She tried to act nonchalant, but inside, she was screaming.

 

Although I can’t dismiss the memory of her kiss

 

Tim looked up at Jason, his eyes asking a silent question. That tiny hesitation sent a red ping through her mind, but she waved it off. It wasn’t her business, right?

Jason gave a nod, and Tim pulled out his phone with a bright grin. They exchanged numbers, and Steph couldn’t help but feel a little bit like she’d just scored a golden ticket into their little world.

Chili dogs. Lightning, strike her.

“So, how are you guys liking the party?” Steph asked, curiosity lighting up her face. She couldn’t help herself–she’d been to plenty of these events, and she was pretty sure she’d never seen them before.

Tim’s eyes sparkled a little as he looked around. “It’s my first time at one of these, actually. I love it,” he said, his gaze drifting upwards to the intricately painted ceilings. “The architecture in this place is incredible–the gilding, the furniture, everything. Look at the Corinthian columns, they’re so much more ornate than the simpler Doric style.” He went on, detailing the subtleties between different structural designs. Most of it soared right over Steph’s head, but the way Tim explained it was almost mesmerizing. His voice was smooth, calm, and carried the kind of warmth that could make even the driest of topics sound fascinating.

Jason, when Tim finally ran out of breath, eventually chimed in. “I used to come to these things as a teenager,” he said. “Didn’t love ‘em. Except for the canapes, those were the only highlight.”

That factoid hooked Steph’s attention. “Canapes, huh? Same, honestly. The food here is half the reason I put up with all these rich people.” She grinned, glad to find something they had in common. Turns out, the best conversations always come out when people start talking about food.

Jason, surprisingly, seemed to perk up a little at that. “Yeah, I’m not picky. Doesn’t matter if it’s from a fancy restaurant or a street cart–if it tastes good, it’s good enough for me.”

“Exactly!” Steph laughed, feeling more at ease now that they were all bonding over something as simple as food. “I mean, a greasy chili dog from Park Row? Or a thousand-dollar truffle bite from this place? Honestly, sometimes the chili dog wins.”

Jason nodded approvingly, while Tim’s eyes twinkled as he agreed, clearly warming up to her. The more they talked, the more Steph felt like she could maybe be a part of whatever world these two guys lived in.

 

I guess she’s not for

 

Jim, the security guard, stepped up quietly to Jason, leaning in to whisper something too low for Steph to catch. Whatever it was, it had Jason straightening up immediately, a shift in his demeanor as he nodded in acknowledgement. He pulled Tim into a side hug, planting a quick kiss on his cheek–a move so seamless, like they’d done it a thousand times before. This time, Tim returned the gesture, leaning in without hesitation.

 

I guess she’s not for

 

“Sorry, babe. Work emergency,” Jason murmured, regret lacing his voice. “I’ll have to leave early. But you can stay and enjoy the night with your new friend, okay?”

Tim’s frown was almost comically cute, a subtle downturn of his lips, but he nodded. “Be careful,” he replied softly. Jason responded with a kiss dropped onto Tim’s hair before turning to Steph.

“Sorry, gotta bail. You know how it is,” he said with a shrug.

Steph nodded, though internally she was screaming, her mind still reeling from witnessing their easy affection. Jason gave her a quick handshake before heading off, disappearing through the party crowd with Jim close behind. When Steph glanced back at Tim, she noticed the way his shoulders slumped a little now, like some of the joy had deflated with Jason’s departure.

 

I guess she’s not for me

 

“Wanna sit?” she offered, hoping to lift his mood a bit.

Tim shot her a grateful look and nodded, following her to one of the unoccupied lounges by the walls. They grabbed a tray of canapes to share, not caring about any judgment from the hoity-toity party guests for breaking decorum. Steph admired how little Tim seemed to care about the stares–they were kindred spirits that way.

“So,” she said, popping a canape into her mouth, “boyfriend, huh? How’d you meet Mr Tall, Dark, and Handsome?”

Tim blinked, caught off guard, before laughing softly. “It’s actually a funny story. I had the biggest crush on him when I was a kid–like, I was 9, and I saw him at school. Followed him around for a while, but never talked to him.”

Steph’s jaw dropped, already hooked on every word. “No way.”

Tim nodded, still smiling. “Yeah. Life happened, and we met again when I was 16, became sort of coworkers. We only made it official a couple of months ago–on my birthday. I asked him to be my boyfriend. It’s honestly been a dream come true.”

Steph’s eyes lit up, utterly enchanted by Tim’s story. “So, he was your first love, and now you’re together ? That’s like a fairy tale! Are you a fairy tale prince? Or maybe a fairy princess?” she teased.

Tim flushed, cheeks turning bright pink, and his shy smile widened. “He… calls me that sometimes too,” he admitted bashfully.

Steph couldn’t help but feel a bit starstruck. Tim wasn’t just cute–he was loyal, earnest, and so incredibly in love. It was hard not to adore him for it.

Steph couldn’t resist throwing questions at Tim, rapid-fire, as they continued to snack.

“What was your first date like?

Tim grinned, thinking back. “Exciting. We went ziplining–it was like flying.”

“Favorite gift?”

Tim didn’t even hesitate. “Vacuum mop Roomba.”

Steph blinked. “A Roomba ?”

“Yeah. Two-in-one function. Best gift ever. I call it Mr Glide.”

She laughed at his serious expression. “Okay, okay… Does he snore?”

Tim sighed dramatically. “Yes. Loudly.”

Steph was in stitches at this point. Tim was an absolute riot, and the more he talked, the more she found herself unable to get enough. His straightforwardness, paired with his dry humor, had her practically in tears with laughter. They were so engrossed in their conversation that neither of them noticed when a familiar figure started paying attention to Steph’s unhinged guffaws.

“What’s the joke? I want in!”

Dick Grayson appeared out of nowhere, swaggering in with his signature sway. His presence caused Tim to freeze instantly, his expression morphing into one of wide-eyed awe. It was as if he’d just seen a living legend. Steph watched the whole thing unfold, already mentally stashing these adorable moments away for future teasing.

Tim stammered a bit before finally managing, “Dick Grayson, it’s an honor to meet you.”

Dick, caught off guard by the formal greeting, shook Tim’s hand with a playful smile. “People are usually dishonored to meet me,” he joked, glancing at Steph. “Where’d you find this baby angel? Didn’t think we had those on earth anymore.”

Tim blushed furiously, turning as red as a tomato, and Steph couldn’t stop cackling at how flustered he became. Dick’s naturally flirtatious charm was clearly too much for Tim to handle.

 

The night had carried on pleasantly, with Dick meeting his quota of pestering socialites and settling in to relax. Tim now sat between Dick and Steph, who shared a silent, mutual understanding: they were adopting Tim. It wasn’t as if they were going to reveal their vigilante identities, but it felt nice to make friends outside their usual circles. Tim, for all his preciousness, felt like a baby deer–a real Bambi, and it warmed both of their hearts.

For a good two hours, the trio chatted, shared jokes, and laughed together before Tim’s departure. When Jim, the hulking bodyguard, came by to excuse Tim, saying something about it being “curfew,” Steph and Dick were amused by the way Tim perked up, excitedly announcing, “I can go home now!” His enthusiasm was infectious, and they couldn’t feel bad about letting him go.

Steph made Tim promise to text her, and he eagerly agreed before saying his goodbye. As he turned to leave, Jim closely shadowing him, Steph and Dick exchanged glances.

Dick finally broke the silence. “He talked all night, but I haven’t learned a damn thing about him.”

Steph nodded, the same realization dawning on her. “He mostly talks about weird facts or his boyfriend. It’s like his life revolves around the guy. When I asked for his number, he looked to Jason for permission.”

Dick’s brows furrowed. “Jason?”

Steph nodded. “Yeah, his boyfriend’s name is Jason. I didn’t catch a last name.”

Dick leaned back, his expression thoughtful. “Hmm. Something was off about that kid–cute as hell, though.”

Steph frowned. “If he’s being controlled… I want to help him. Jason was literally a foot taller, twice as wide, could probably throw Tim over a football pitch. Handsome, sure, but… you never know.”

Dick hummed in agreement, eyes serious. “Yeah, keep an eye on him. Tim seems like a good kid, but if something’s wrong, we’ll figure it out. He’s a good nugget. Doesn’t deserve to be stuck in anything shady.”

They shared a look, silently deciding to follow up on this mysterious Tim and his equally mysterious boyfriend.

 

Mr Sandman, bring me a dream

 

When Tim got home, the warm, mouthwatering smell of roasted chicken with aromatic seasonings greeted him at the door. Finally , real food after a long night of standing around and looking pretty. He stepped into the sleek, upscale apartment they shared, a place he and Jason had “liberated” from one of their former enemies in their first year working together. Now it was their home. Tim found Jason in the kitchen, still wearing his tuxedo pants, but with his blazer off, shirt sleeves rolled up, and an apron tied around his waist. The sight made Tim swoon. Jason looked effortlessly handsome, his hair still perfectly styled despite the long day.

 

Make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen

 

Tim smiled, taking in the cozy domesticity of the scene. “Hello, darling. I was lonely without you,” he teased, walking up to plant a soft kiss on Jason’s lips.

 

Give him two lips like roses and clover

 

Jason, setting aside his carving knife and fork, pulled Tim in for a deeper kiss, holding him close. “Lonely, huh?” Jason teased back, grinning. “I heard you chatting all night with your new friends.”

 

Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

 

With a smirk, Jason plucked a small tracker and recorder from under the lapel of Tim’s blazer. He neatly hung the jacket on the back of a dining chair, his movements smooth, practiced. Tim wasn’t surprised, he was used to Jason being thorough.

 

Sandman, I’m so alone

 

“I was still missing you,” Tim insisted, smiling up at him. “Didn’t matter who I was with.”

 

Don’t have nobody to call my own

 

Jason guided Tim to sit at the dining table and served him a plate of perfectly roasted chicken, accompanied by tender potatoes, asparagus, and a gourmet homemade sauce. Tim marveled at the simplicity, yet elegance of the meal–Jason always had a way of making even basic dishes feel indulgent. He’d gotten used to being pampered like this. Jason cooked, Tim cleaned–it was a system that worked flawlessly, and Tim loved it.

As they began eating, Tim asked between bites, “How was work? Do I have to clean anything up?”

Jason smiled, chewing thoughtfully before answering. “Nah, no mess tonight. I knew you’d be tired after the party. It was just negotiations–lots of persuasion, heavy suggesting.”

Tim giggled, catching the veiled meaning. “Sounds like blackmail.”

Jason grinned, playful. “You said it, not me.”

Tim didn’t need to recount his night at the party, thanks to Jason listening in via the tracker, so instead, Jason filled Tim in on his latest dealings. Over dinner, he talked about a recent acquisition–another shipment confiscated that had been smuggled through Gotham harbor without permission. Since taking down Black Mask, Red Hood had been steadily monopolizing the black market. Jason had made sure his operations were running like a well-oiled machine, with everyone else falling in line or getting crushed.

“The Maronis and Falcones are still at large, but I’ll let them be–for now,” Jason mused, taking a sip of water. “They’re just families, too. People to support, like anyone else. Business is business.”

 

Please turn on your magic beam

 

Tim nodded as he listened, savoring each bite of food. Jason’s pragmatism was why they worked so well together, even if his methods were sometimes brutal. Red Hood had the power now–enough that with a point of his finger, he could claim ownership of any building and have it by the morning. That was the kind of influence Jason wielded.

And Tim? Tim was the one to make it happen. A real Houdini-maker.

 

Mr Sandman, bring me a dream

 

At Wayne Manor, after the party ended with no major disruptions, the Batman and Batcompany reconvened in the Batcave for their nightly Bat-debrief.

“Nightwing, stop saying Bat.”

“Bat I don't wanna.”

Batman, as usual, got straight to work, reviewing surveillance footage, checking up on Gotham’s usual suspects, analyzing potential antidotes to use for any Scarecrow shenanigans this Halloween. Dick and Steph eventually joined him in their uniforms, and as they settled in, Steph casually mentioned her new friends from the party.

“Tim Drake?” Bruce’s sharp tone cut through the air before she could even finish. The name clearly pinged on his mental radar and his fingers were already flying across the Batcomputer keyboard panel, pulling up a profile.

“That’s him!” Steph confirmed as she pointed at the screen, seeing a picture of the same boy from the party. “Same Bambi eyes, just all grown up.”

Bruce narrowed his eyes at the profile report. “I remember him. His parents were our neighbors. I didn’t know they even had a son until he was reported to CPS. He was… a crafty kid. And then he went missing..."

Steph filled in the gaps as she read the report, “Missing!? Yikes. He mentioned he used to live in Crime Alley, so I guess that’s where he ended up missing to. He looked pretty good for a guy with that kind of past. Though his boyfriend? Looked like some big shot, head honcho type. Could be a mobster’s son or something. Had security all around him.”

Dick’s demeanor shifted as well when he heard the name. “You said his name was Jason?” His voice dropped, eyes narrowing. “You think we can pull up the CCTV from the party, Bruce? I want to check something.”

Bruce obliged, already anticipating Dick’s line of thought. They replaced the footage, focusing on the moments when Stephanie was interacting with Tim. As they sped through the recording, they saw it–a tall, broad-shouldered man in a tux, moving through the crowd like a swan, yet exuding an aura that felt more like a stalking panther.

Bruce and Dick exchanged glances, neither wanting to voice what they were both thinking.

Stephanie, confused by the tension in the room, broke the silence. “Uh, guys? What’s going on?”

Bruce’s face remained stoic, but his voice was gruff. “We don’t know. But we’re going to find out.”

Dick chimed in, his tone quieter but serious. “Steph, you’ve got their number, right?”

“Tim’s,” she confirmed with a nod.

“That’s a start,” Dick said. “We need to get closer. Set up a meeting, something casual. A coffee date, maybe.”

Steph groaned, clearly torn. “Dammit! I actually liked him. Please don't tell me he’s into shady stuff!”

Bruce didn’t look away from the screen. “We don’t know yet. But don’t get too attached.”

She pouted, but the reality of the situation started to settle in. “Fine,” she huffed. “But if this gets weird, you owe me big time for ruining my potential new bestie.”

With the Batcave growing quiet again, the trio shared a mutual understanding–this was personal, but also too important to let emotions cloud their judgment. If Tim Drake was involved in something deeper, and if that man was who they thought he might be… they’d have to be ready for anything.

Notes:

Life Update: Not only did the roommate abscond in the middle of the night, I also found a rat hole, killed 3 of them, and am now trying to block the hole with paper, tape, and a prayer. I'm calling in the professionals soon but they could just not arrive soon enough. Also, to make a splash in this 24 hour cycle of misery, as I was finishing off writing this chapter by adding in the lyrics portions of the fic, one of my childhood friends messages me that our other mutual childhood friend just literally died and they are at the wake. I am in real grief atm so yeah. Wow. I hope you guys are ready for whatever that's gonna cook up.

If you have any head canons, suggestions, or fan requests, consider leaving a comment and I'll consider putting it in. I didn't really think anyone would actually like this fic and so here I am unprepared. When in doubt: audience participation. Come at me guys. I need help.