Chapter Text
PRINCETON-PLAINSBORO TEACHING HOSPITAL
> #welcome
Welcome to
PRINCETON-PLAINSBORO TEACHING HOSPITAL
This is the beginning of this server.
→ House joined the party.
→ Good to see you, Chase.
→ Cameron is here.
→ Welcome Foreman. Say hi!
→ Wilson just showed up!
> #general
Welcome to #general!
This is the start of the #general channel.
Chase: server name long as fuck
House: longer than wilson has been looking for a new girlfriend since amber keeled over
Wilson: don’t you dare bring amber into this
House: sorry
Wilson: really?
House: no
Wilson: fuck
Foreman: Should’ve seen that coming, Wilson.
House is an ass, but he’s a consistent ass.
Wilson: true
don’t know why i still get blindsided by him sometimes
House: you’re gullible and malleable
Wilson: well you need a malleable to your rigid house
Chase: ????
RIGID??
Wilson: damn it
that’s not what i meant
and you know it chase
Chase: nah i knew exactly what you meant
gonna screenshot this and add it to the hilson folder on my laptop
House: do i have to remind you that you’re a liability?
walking around the bloody hospital with multiple personalities
Chase: ok fire me then
do it you won’t
no balls
House: i should be able to
my name on the door, my team, my decisions
Cuddy: My building, my floor, my people.
You’re not firing Chase.
House: spoilsport
Cuddy: There’s a hierarchy here, House.
It’s time you started accepting it.
House: you know i’d turn into a radical anarchist just to spite you?
Cuddy: Oh, I have no doubt.
But I’d still be your boss.
You’d still be my radical anarchist.
Chase: damn
screenshotting that and adding it to the huddy folder on my laptop
Cameron: is that what you’re here for, chase?
to ship people?
Chase: free entertainment what can i say
can’t complain
Cameron: sigh
what is this server even for?
Cuddy: For communication.
We’ve all entered the age of smartphones, and I heard about Discord from a friend the other day.
Decided to try it out.
Chase: lol wait
you had to hear about discord from a friend?
Cuddy: Is there a problem with that?
Chase: fucking boomer
Cuddy: Actually, we’re both in the same generation, Chase.
Chase: :point_up::nerd:
erm ackshually
Cuddy: You know it’s true.
Chase: doesn’t change the fact that i’m like ten years younger than you
the rift between us is large
and it’s only grown larger with every letter you added to the name of this server
Cuddy: What’s wrong with the name?
Chase: bro really had to spell out the entire hospital name
just a simple ‘PPTH’ would do no??
Wilson: i like the full name
Chase: anybody born before me has no speaking rights
Foreman: Great attempt at silencing House, Chase.
Hope you know it takes more than that.
House: yeah chase
you should know
have you ever heard of the phrase ‘respect your elders’?
Chase: yes, but i’ve lost all belief in that phrase since i met you
Foreman: Damn.
Cameron: can’t argue with that
in fact, i kind of agree with chase
House: @Cuddy
you do know employment means having respect for your boss
Wilson: HAH
ironic coming from you house
House: oh shut up
what i’m saying is
can i please fire both of them
Cuddy: No.
House: aw
i thought saying please would work
cuddy loves it when people beg
Cameron: what
Chase: more huddy content
i really am getting fed today
> #welcome
→ Thirteen hopped into the server.
→ It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Nevermind, it’s just Kutner.
→ A wild Taub appeared.
> #general
Chase: welcome bitches
@Thirteen
@Kutner
@Taub
Kutner: yoo
Thirteen: that solidifies it
Chase: solidifies what?
Thirteen: that i’ve made a massive mistake joining this server
Kutner: no i think it’ll be fun
we finally have a group chat
kinda
Taub: I’m with Remy
This was a mistake
Kutner: no cmon
now we can talk to house without paging him
see how it’ll be fun?
Foreman: Who in their right mind wants to talk to House outside of emergencies?
House: wilson
Wilson: fuck
Foreman: And that’s why Wilson’s insane.
House: he’s not the craziest one here
not while chase is present anyway
Chase: ok
i’m guessing the day you stop using my mental disorder against me is the day i win the lottery
Thirteen: no, it’s the day he fires you
Chase: which is never
as long as cuddy is here
or as long as i don’t commit massive medical malpractice
House: nice alliteration
almost makes you as hot as cuddy is with what she’s wearing today
Cuddy: House, why don’t you devote more time to looking at your case instead of at my cleavage?
House: but your cleavage goes so much deeper
this one’s just cancer
and cancer’s boring
Wilson: ok
House: sorry
Wilson: really?
House: no
Wilson: FUCK
Foreman: Seriously, Wilson, you have to stop falling for these.
Wilson: i will
eventually
one day
House: cancer’s boring
so is wilson
and probably every other oncologist out there
Wilson: ok bully them then?
House: but you’re my best friend
Wilson: yes, the eighth deadly sin
being your best friend
Chase: that’s crazy
i think wilson’s the worst off here
at least we’re only employees
Cuddy: And his boss.
Chase: and his boss
which might be second to wilson
Cuddy: Don’t you all have other things to do?
Chase: i mean
like house said
this case is just cancer
already started the patient on chemo
there’s nothing else to do
Cuddy: What if it’s not cancer?
House: oh come on
wilson thinks it’s cancer
i think it’s cancer
and i’m always right
therefore it is cancer
Wilson: so what was the point in asking me then
House: it’s like the government making decisions
pretend to ask the public their opinions and ignore them anyway because they think they’re right
only difference is that the government can be wrong
Wilson: house
you truly are insufferable
House: thank you
one more to my ‘insufferable’ jar
when it’s full i’ll donate it to charity
Cuddy: Speaking of charity.
House: oh god
not another charity event
Cuddy: You’ll show up, House.
It’s poker, anyway.
You and Wilson can settle whatever enmity you have between the two of you there.
Wilson: yeah
can’t wait for him to psychoanalyse me based on the cards i have in my hand
House: is it still psychoanalysis if i’m always right?
Wilson: no you’re not
House: yes i am
Wilson: no you’re NOT
Foreman: Give it up, Wilson.
He’s a manchild.
He’ll never admit that he can be wrong.
House: only thing i was wrong about was wilson’s taste in women
i questioned everything after cutthroat bitch
Wilson: i said don’t you dare bring amber into this
House: she’s in all right
in the ground
Wilson: .
Foreman: House, you bastard.
House: but i’m right
Wilson: i hope you fall down the stairs today
House: well luckily for me wilson is the opposite
he’s never right
so i’ll have a great time on the stairs today
Chase: if we all collectively wish that he’ll fall down the stairs eventually god will hear one of us
House: god is a theory
and i have theories regarding each one of your personalities if you’d like me to share with the class chase
Chase: no thanks
House: how about theories regarding your relationships?
Chase: no
House: aw
you’re about as much fun as cuddy is
Chase: your ball was fun
Cameron: ?
House: what?
Chase: the one you keep on your desk
it was fun
Wilson: to do what with exactly
Chase: i aint saying more
just saying
it was fun
Foreman: Jesus Christ.
Chase: kinda rough
just the way i like it
Thirteen: ??????????????
Kutner: yeah nevermind i think thirteen and taub were right
this was a mistake