Chapter Text
It was cold .
I wanna go home.
Even rotting in my room was better than this. I didn’t ask to be thrown into a hell like this. I don’t wanna be here right now…!
Mom…I’m sorry for never washing that cup…
I’m sorry for ignoring you as I left…
For never cleaning my room…
For not going to school…
I’m sorry for worrying you, every damn day of my life…!
Colder…Colder…
Dad…I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass.
I’m sorry for not being able to live up to your expectations…
For acting out…
For not being smart enough, good enough…
I’m sorry for hiding away from my responsibilities expecting someone else would take care of them for me…
Numbness overtook him.
Please…just take me back! Take me home…!
I promise I’ll be better…I promise…!
Spiraling, spiraling downwards.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Laid out on the ground of a dreadfully familiar alley, Subaru shivered as he pressed against the cold pavement. Beneath his eyelids were haunting terrors which threatened to send him spiraling further into what could only be described as a madness born of self hatred.
However, underneath those terrors was a dim light, shining out from the cacophony of nightmares and self-deprecating thoughts. And as Subaru focused on that light, it, bit by bit, grew brighter and brighter.
He focused his mind entirely on that light, and miraculously, Natsuki Subaru drifted to sleep.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Oi! Kid! I get that the past few days have been rough on ya’, with the mana disaster n’ all, but I ain’t gonna let you keep freeloading in front of my shop. You’re scarin’ away the little customers I can drag in on this side of town!”
With a prolonged delay, Subaru shifted his head upwards from the listlessly hung position it had grown accustomed to. Lips dry and fingers numb due to the cold, Subaru could barely register that he was being spoken to.
A well-built man with green, messy hair and a characterizing claw mark scar across his face stood over Subaru’s body, arms crossed with a disapproving look.
“Here kid. Ya’ look like death itself. Dunno what happened to ya’ but it’ll do ya’ no good leaving yourself here to rot.”
The merchant kneeled down and extended his arm outwards towards Subaru, in his hand a bright red apple, picked directly from his stand. Subaru winced.
“S..sorry.” Subaru pushed his hand and the apple away. “Can’t pay you any. Still flat broke after all…ha…” Subaru managed a half-chuckle at himself, a frequently used coping mechanism of his resurfacing.
The merchant pressed forward. “It’s free, kid. Just take it and feel free to pay me back when ya’ can.” Arm still outstretched, he shoved the apple so close to Subaru’s face it was nearly touching his nose.
Sheepishly, Subaru took the apple out of the merchant’s hand and examined it. Preoccupied by the egregiousness of his failure, Subaru hadn’t noticed the growing hunger within him during his time in the alley. Subaru began eating, first with small bites but soon devouring the whole thing, core and all.
Kadomon spoke while the boy ate. “Listen kid, ‘cause of the mana disaster a large portion of the working people here in the capital were either wiped out, or are too reluctant to leave their houses before it's all been resolved.”
Subaru winced again.
I already know that. It’s my fault after all.
“What I’m tryin’ to say is that there are plenty a’ jobs here for a kid like you to work. I dunno much about ya’ but ya’ seem able-bodied enough, and it's gotta be better than rotting out here.”
Subaru was barely listening anymore. What right did he have to try to make a living? His failure resulted in the deaths of not only the half-elf but hundreds of other innocents as well. What right did he have to live in the first place?
“So? What makes you think anyone would want to take in a useless rat like me?"
The merchant gazed back downwards towards Subaru, his expression now bordering closer to pity than disapproval.
“I’m offering ta’ hook you up kid. A porting job with a business acquaintance o’ mine that’s made a few questionable purchases as of late…Shouldn’t have any effect on the pay though.”
Subaru doubted his current ability to do any type of manual labor in the state he was in, and generally dreaded the idea considering his history as a shut-in. However, what the merchant was offering was, greater than anything, a change of scenery. An escape from the hell he created for himself in that alley.
Subaru knew that there was nothing he could do to change himself for the better, but at the very least he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of starvation or the bitter cold with a steady income. At least, that was what Subaru would have thought if he believed he even deserved freedom from that pain.
What was truly going on in Subaru’s mind was something else entirely. Why in the world was this person going this far to help a piece of street trash who has done nothing but take up space in front of his stall for the past two and a half days? Who willingly does something like that?
Just like her.
Subaru looked the merchant in the eyes for the first time since his initial loops on his first day in the capital.
“Why…Why are you doing all of this…I can’t pay you back and I honestly doubt I’ll ever become someone important enough for this to pay off for you in the long run…”
The merchant glared back at Subaru, not flinching or breaking eye contact. Looking deeper into his traditionally intimidating visage, the merchant more closely examined the boy’s irises and the deep purple bags forming around his eyes.
“All that don’t matter to me right now.” The merchant paused. “I dunno kid, just—something about yer’ eyes pisses me right off. Like you’ve already given up on everything and everyone around ya’, like yer just inviting death to swoop ya’ away. Whatever yer circumstances are, that’s no way for anyone to live.”
Subaru still couldn’t understand. It may have been that he refused to understand, but Subaru still couldn’t make out the reason why anyone would treat a person like him with such kindness. But the merchant’s last remark stuck with him,
“That’s no way to live, huh…”
Subaru found it ironic. All Subaru had now was his life, something that couldn’t be taken from him no matter what he did to others or himself. And now, this complete stranger had taken it upon himself to tell Subaru what was the right way to live.
What right do you have to tell me that? What right does anyone have to dictate the shitty life I lead? I’ve already fucked up this much…!
Tracing that line of thinking, something in Subaru snapped.
“Hah…why the hell not?”
A barely noticeable smile formed across Subaru’s cheeks, a defiant, angry smile. He was already destined to continue living like a cockroach no matter what harm may befall him, so what else does he have but to keep moving forward?
You failed them.
Yeah, and I’ll never forgive myself. But, wallowing in this alley for the rest of my life won’t change that…
You let her die.
And I’ll accept any amount of suffering or punishment because of that.
You let them all die.
And given any chance I can get to make up for that, I won’t hesitate! I can’t just keep marinating in my own self-pity and self-loathing silently hoping for someone to come and save me…!
Even if he was destined to be a nobody, he was already at rock-bottom anyway. There was no falling any further from here. Natsuki Subaru had absolutely nothing else to lose.
Even if it’s a half-assed reason to keep going. Even if it's selfish. Even if it’s another excuse in the long line of bullshitting and failures I call my life…!
This is your chance. Pull yourself together, Natsuki Subaru!
The merchant reached his hand outwards once again, this time with an open palm, inviting Subaru’s own.
“Sounds like ya’ made up yer mind. Your name, kid?”
Taking the merchant’s hand, Natsuki Subaru stood upon his own two feet for the first time since the tragic failure that had struck him down on his first night in this world.
Not quite striking his signature pose, Subaru widened his smile, only slightly.
“Natsuki Subaru, former shut-in NEET turned freeloader, and still flat broke. You?”
Raising an eyebrow at the uncommon terms and introduction the boy gave him, the merchant responded.
“Kadomon. Would say nice to meet ya’ but you’ve been here botherin’ me all week.”
“Yeah… Sorry about that. So when should I start?”
Mom, Dad, I made the correct choice… right?
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subaru examined the market street as they walked, ignoring the traumatic memories it brought to mind.
Not nearly as many people as a few days ago, but it looks like it's finally filling back up again.
The city streets had become considerably less populated in wake of the disastrous mana flux caused by what Subaru could only assume was a frenzied Puck. They had mentioned that Puck was a Great Spirit, so Subaru didn’t rule out the possibility that Puck was the origin of what the locals were now calling the “mana disaster”.
If he had that much power, why didn’t he use it to protect her?
Damn it… No use dwelling on it now.
Subaru clenched his teeth, back to what was at hand.
Kadomon continued describing the details of the job and its employer as they neared the local merchant’s guild.
“Again, ‘cause of that whole mana disaster fiasco, most of the workin’ men and women in the capital are either too afraid to leave their houses or are still recovering from the damages of that huge snowstorm.” Kadomon continued. “Luckily fer’ you, that’s left more than enough jobs for a kid like you to help fill in.”
Nice one, Subaru. First thing you do is take advantage of the livelihoods you were responsible for destroying. Repent my ass…
“Anyways, the guy I’m taking ya’ to is a decent guy really…Even if he does have a bit of a drinking problem. Should treat you right ‘long as you do yer’ job.”
Kadomon took a step. “And here we are.”
Subaru and Kadomon were standing in front of a large wooden building, about the size and stature of a small town hall back on Earth. A billboard across the front read—”Capital’s Eastern Merchant Guild”--- (Not that Subaru could read it) in peeling white paint.
Positioned between the building and the outer city walls was a large courtyard containing several caravans and carriages, equipped with respective land dragons and other large furry creatures Subaru had never seen before, certainly belonging to the various merchants within the building.
Overall, the place did not live up to Subaru’s expectations, much like many other things since arriving here.
“What’s that look on yer’ face kid?” Kadomon squinted.
“N-nothing really…*Cough* It’s a nice place you all got here!” Subaru lied through his teeth.
“Yer’ a bad liar kid…This is just a backwater guild compared to the nobles’ in the inner city. Trust me, they’ll treat ya’ far better here than those pricks will over there.” Kadomon spat. Subaru reminded himself to not upset the only still-living person willing to help him in this world. Subaru tensed up after that thought.
Skipping a tour of the inside, for obvious reasons, Kadomon led Subaru out into the courtyard and towards the carriages. Stopping in front of one, Kadomon bellowed,
“OI! SUWEN! GOT THAT PORTER YA’ ASKED FOR!”
*Rummage…shift*
The carriage began to shake violently.
*CRACK! POP! CRASH!*
Subaru deadpanned as he watched a silver haired merchant wearing a green cap fall face first from his carriage onto the dirt courtyard. The young man’s hat flew off in an almost cartoonish fashion, floating and miraculously landing back on top of his head.
Kadomon sighed.
Recollecting the bottle he had dropped onto the ground, the merchant stumbled onto his feet and jaggedly stepped his way towards the pair.
“S-sorry, Kadomon-ssssan…Ashh you can see I’m pretty *burp* b-busy…” The merchant’s words were barely intelligible.
“I’m not gonna say this again, Suwen. I BROUGHT THE PORTER YOU ASKED FOR.” Kadomon raised his voice so high Subaru’s eardrums felt like they were going to burst.
The merchant stiffened up, clearly sobering up from the verbal assault he and Subaru were just subjected to. “Oh! Y-yes… Of course Kadomon-san…If you would just s-show me to him…!”
Kadomon looked towards Subaru, clearly motioning him for his introduction.
Taking the cue, Subaru struck his signature pose. “The name’s Natsuki Subaru—soon-to-be porter extraordinaire! So nice to finally meet you! And your name is kind sir?” After dropping the pose, Subaru extended his hand towards the merchant in a friendly gesture.
Subaru wanted to hurl, forcing himself to be so chipper and upbeat despite the emotional rollercoaster that has characterized his every living moment in this world. However, he had decided that first impressions are far more important than his fragile emotional state, regardless of the consequences of possibly seeming shallow. That’s how Subaru had always operated, wearing a mask, hiding away and stifling his internal struggles.
Further examining his future employer, Subaru noticed his clothes, internally chuckling at his typical NPC choice of attire. Subaru also noticed the blush plastered across the man’s face, along with the bottle of amber liquid being death-gripped by his left hand. Kadomon was right about the drinking, Subaru noted, slightly surprised by the fact that the merchant barely looked older than himself.
Maybe the drinking age here is lower than back home? Subaru assumed.
The merchant opened his mouth to respond, but no words escaped his lips. Instead of taking Subaru’s hand, he had pulled Subaru closer to him in an attempt to stay upright. As a result, Subaru attempted to assist the silver haired merchant by allowing him to rest his arm along his shoulders.
Subaru looked back at Kadomon with disapproval. Is this really the nice, courteous employer you were talking about? Have I actually been dragged into some kind of human trafficking ring!? What if I get taken advantage of? No! I’m too innocent!
Before Subaru could finish that thought, he felt the merchant seize up beside him.
“Gugghk.. GUUUAHK—” The merchant lurched.
Without looking back towards the merchant, Subaru felt a warm, soggy sensation streaking down his chest, wetting his already filthy tracksuit. Subaru’s nostrils burned as he took in the rancid stench of stomach acid mixed with some kind of hard alcohol. Still looking at Kadomon, Subaru’s face twisted and tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he saw the man burst out into laughter.
Subaru’s future employer had vomited all over him.
For the second time in two days in this accursed world, Natsuki Subaru wanted to die… again.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sun setting, the sky above the capital of the Dragon Kingdom of Lugunica was settling into dusk once again. Natsuki Subaru, after sprinting into the local river with a swan dive and deep-cleaning himself with what could only be described as a violent baptism, was sitting within the merchant’s guild awaiting word from his, now hopefully sober, employer.
Still traumatized from the events a few hours earlier, Subaru was already plotting how to coerce the merchant into giving him a higher pay or some other kind of bonus that would repay him for literally getting puked on.
The inside of the merchant’s guild was just as shabby as Subaru had expected. Save for a few fancy decorations clearly donated by former proprietors, the interior looked closer to a roadside inn more than anything. Subaru was sat atop a wooden stool that was very annoyingly proportioned, causing him even further discomfort and worsening his mood.
At last, Subaru watched as the silver haired merchant hurriedly descended the stairs leading from the upstairs bedrooms and down into the main lobby. Spotting Subaru, still soggy from his deep-cleanse an hour earlier, the merchant’s face immediately twisted in agony and obvious embarrassment. Subaru met the merchant’s gaze with a straight face, clearly wanting the merchant to suffer further for his violations of Subaru’s human rights.
The merchant approached Subaru and sat down in the stool across from him, clearly also bothered by the stool’s shape. Kadomon had already left after assuring Subaru of his employer’s integrity while fighting off his own fits of laughter at the situation.
I’m sure that bastard was chuckling about it all the way back home. I’d better pay that damned apple stand a visit sooner rather than later…
“M-my deepest apologies for my earlier actions, Natsuki-san…If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you–”
“Increase my pay.” Subaru commanded.
“Wha– but you haven’t even–” The merchant stuttered.
“Increase my pay and buy me new clothes.” Subaru tagged on.
“B-but it’s already difficult enough money-wise with the mana disaster…!”
This pissed Subaru off even further. “Higher pay, new clothes AND I want one free favor from you, no strings attached.”
“Alright! Alright! I got it! More pay, new clothes and—Wait, what was that about a favor?”
Subaru smiled ruthlessly. “Deal’s done! Pleasure doing business with ya’ Mr. Alcoholic!”
“I’m not an alcoh–Argh! Whatever!” The silver haired merchant took a deep breath, calming himself down. “You start in the morning. We’ll be leaving for a small village in the Mathers domain that’ll sell us some goods for cheap. In the meanwhile, you can stay in the room I rented upstairs. I’ve got some other business to attend to so please just sit still and wait for further instruction from me…” The merchant readjusted his hat as he stood up.
“Oh, and as far as introductions go, I’m Otto Suwen. I would say nice to meet you but—*sigh* you know.”
“It’s a pleasure…–” Subaru widened his heartless business smile. “Vomitto.”
Otto’s face turned bright red as it twisted once again with embarrassment. He opened his mouth to say something but, knowing he was not going to win the argument that was about to ensue, the merchant spun back around and stormed off.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I…..l…v……you…”
Natsuki Subaru sank deeper. What was he sinking into? Where was he? What was he? Why was he? These were the questions that would be running through Subaru’s mind if he knew what a question even was.
Subaru had no arms, no legs, no body, no head, no mind. In a pitch black void, Natsuki Subaru was both everything and nothing.
Within the darkness was a figure, a figure that Subaru did not have the eyes to see, the ears to hear, the body to feel. However, the presence of that figure was overwhelming, as if Subaru’s entire existence revolved around it.
“O—i…”
Subaru felt the desperate need to get closer to that figure.
“…Na……ki…an”
But Subaru did not have the legs to move to it, the arms to crawl to it, the mind to capture it. Subaru could only sense as it faded from reach.
*SPLASH*
“Wake up damn it!” Subaru awoke to water being splashed across his face. Above him, cup in hand, was a silver haired merchant adorned in typical merchant’s attire and a green hat. He stood over Subaru’s bed mat within the carriage with an annoyed expression.
“Jeez, Otto…Couldn’t give me a few more minutes of beauty sleep? The dream I was having was really—Wait, was I even having a dream?” Subaru rubbed his eyes.
Getting even more annoyed, Otto started again, “Like I said, if you weren’t asleep, We’ll be at Arlam Village within the hour, so you’d better be up and ready to help me move all the merchandise.”
“Did you really have to splash me with water though?” Subaru put his hand on his chin in contemplation. “Now that I think about it, this wouldn’t be the first time you dumped something over me to get my attention, would it?”
“Yes! I did need the water, and, please just do me a favor and stop reminding me of that…!” Otto facepalmed as he turned back towards the opening in the carriage.
”Oh? But why should I when you made such a memorable first impression, dear Vomitto?” Subaru smirked as he used his favorite nickname for the merchant.
“Just get to the front of the carriage would you? And please, PLEASE stop calling me that!” Otto was practically vibrating with a mix of embarrassment and outright anger towards the raven haired boy.
As he sat down beside Otto, Subaru looked out onto the road ahead, reflecting on the time he had already spent as the merchant’s porter.
After wrapping up some business in the capital, the pair set out with an empty carriage towards Arlam Village in the Mathers Domain in order to purchase some cheap goods that could be sold elsewhere for a profit. After spending a night on the road, they were finally nearing their destination.
They were on a relatively busy merchant’s trail, passing by another carriage once every one or two hours, something Otto mentioned was pretty normal at this time of year (Whatever that meant Subaru never bothered to ask).
It was when they were about to pass by another carriage when Otto froze, stopping the carriage in its tracks.
“Otto? What’s going on?” Subaru began to worry as the color drained from the merchant’s face.
“T-that carriage in front of us is owned by bandits. Just keep your head down and hope they pass us by.” Otto said, his voice shaking.
Otto knew full well that this group of bandits was on the prowl for unarmed caravans like his, both due to his experience as a merchant and his divine protection allowing him to understand the animals avoiding this group of dangerous individuals.
Subaru froze up as well. What would they do if they caught him? Would they kill him? Would they kidnap him and sell him off to a slave trader? A million possibilities shot through Subaru’s head as his heart rate increased.
The bandit carriage was now parallel to their own, the criminals sticking their heads out from both entrances of the wooden vehicle, quietly examining the pair and the possible goods they may be carrying. Suddenly, their carriage stopped. Subaru swore he could feel the tension in the air.
“Oi. Ain’t that black haired kid wearing something pretty weird?” A burly one mentioned.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Good eye! With those clothes and that hair color, that kid definitely looks like some kind of noble!” Another one yapped.
Like hyenas they began circling Otto’s carriage, already picking apart with their eyes what was soon to be theirs.
Subaru was now trembling. I’m gonna be the reason we get robbed, or maybe even worse. You’ve gone and done it again, Natsuki Subaru.
The truth was that he had cleaned his tracksuit and decided to wear it instead of the outfit he had coerced Otto into buying for him. He liked those clothes but something about his old tracksuit gave him a nostalgic warmth no other article of clothing could give him.
And now, for a stupid sentiment of his, they were about to be attacked and possibly even murdered. Once again, another innocent person was about to pay for Natsuki Subaru’s idiotic mistakes.
Otto spoke up in an attempt to wave off the circling hyenas, dismounting the carriage. “Gentlemen! We really mean no harm, We’re simply passing by on our way to Arlam to resupply! I would offer you all something as a gift but it must be apparent that I’ve completely run out of all of my stock! And due to an unfortunate purchase, my pockets have been totally bled dry! Truly a shame…!”
“A shame indeed. That’s if we believed ya’!” The burly one stood in front of Otto as he chuckled.
Subaru could hear the other two bandits rummaging through Otto and his belongings. Subaru’s chest was so tight he could barely breathe.
“Ha! The bastard really was lying! Check out all this dough!” A fat one bellowed, waving around Otto’s hidden stash of gold coins. “We’ll be set for the next year with this type of coinage!”
Otto winced. Panicked, he stuttered. “Ah, that must have been from the f-former owner of this carriage! What a lucky find for you all isn’t it! How won—”
Otto was suddenly gut punched by the burly criminal standing before him, crumpling down to his knees and vomiting. Otto’s land dragon acted up, kicking up dirt in reaction to the sudden blow.
“You son of a—!”
Subaru tried to retaliate, jumping off the carriage, but was hit in the back of the head by a blunt object, surely one of the clubs the other bandits were carrying.
World spinning, Subaru dropped face-first directly into the dirt road, blood beginning to streak down his neck and over his forehead.
Collecting the rest of Subaru and Otto’s belongings, the fat bandit spat out, “So whaddya’ think we do with ‘em?”.
“‘Said that they were going to Arlam, weren’t they? Ain’t far from here—can’t risk ‘em notifying the knights or a merc group about us can we?” The burly one went on. “I’d say we just kill ‘em. Lettin’ these two walk would give us more problems anyway.”
Pulling out a shiv, a gaunt bandit began to approach Subaru who was still reeling from the earlier attack. Despite barely being able to make out their conversation, Subaru knew what was coming next.
“No…!”
Unable to stand up, Subaru tried to crawl away from the criminal, legs frantically kicking up dirt as he tried to scoot back towards the carriage.
“Stop it…G-get the hell away from me!” Subaru’s voice came out hoarse and rough.
As the bandit got closer Subaru began throwing whatever was in arms’ reach at his approaching adversary. Rocks, his phone, the few coins he had to his name, more dirt, Subaru threw away everything he could think of to try and prolong his life for even a few more moments.
“Y-you better not! I’m the son of a really important noble! My f-father—My father will definitely get you killed for this!” Subaru bluffed as he stuttered and slurred his words.
Please…! I don’t need my pride just—please spare me another death!
“Even if that was true…How the hell’d he know we did it? Better say your prayers, ‘Your Highness’.” The bandit scoffed, mocking Subaru for his prideless attempt at a bluff.
Tears welled up in Subaru’s eyes. Hands now bleeding from frantically dragging his injured body across the dirt, Subaru’s world continued to twist and turn due to the prior impact on his head.
Not again…I’m scared…
This is what you deserve for even thinking you could continue living.
No! I don’t wanna go back! Not back there…Not back to that alley…!
The bandit pressed on undeterred. Shiv in hand, Subaru’s future murder towered over his pathetic figure, but as Subaru closed his eyes in anticipation, the sharp pain he was expecting never came.
*FWOOSH*
Instead, what he saw before him was a violent gust of wind followed by an eruption of blood from the criminal’s torso, leaving the man bloodied and limp on the ground before him.
“W-wha…? What just—?”
The next thing Subaru was able to make out was the back of a woman. Donned in pristine military attire accented by her flowing verdant-green hair reaching down to her hips, the only thought—the only emotion that filled Subaru’s mind was—awe.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As much as Otto hates to admit it, he was caught with his pants down. Assuming complete safety on a well known merchant’s road was the first of his mistakes, but from a relatively experienced merchant, not hiring or bringing along any form of protection with him was a complete and utter blunder Otto had no business making.
And now, his mistake has put both his and his newly hired porter’s lives at stake. The green hatted merchant knew full well that trying to fight back in a situation like this would only lead to a quick death, so he stayed silent, hoping that his divine protection, the only real thing he had going for him, would be able to pull through for the two of them.
However, watching Subaru’s pathetic struggle, the fear in the raven-haired boy’s eyes, Otto seethed with anger. He hadn’t known the boy for long, having that unsavory first impression, but they had talked frequently over the past day and a half, bantering and chatting about various different topics, and Otto sincerely hoped they could be more than just employer and employee, but genuine friends.
Even that concept was foreign to Otto Suwen. Throughout his life, whether due to his disposition or his divine protection’s detrimental effects on his early childhood, Otto had never been able to make a true friend outside of the animals, such as his land dragon, that his protection enabled him to converse with. But, with the few things he knew about Subaru, he felt as if he had finally managed to make a connection with another human being. Otto knew Subaru enjoyed making curious nicknames for people and animals, the merchant’s own nickname being quite unsavory. “Vomitto”…Ugh! He’s never gonna let me live that down is he? Otto knew that he didn’t come from Lugunica, and was almost completely oblivious to the customs and culture of the country he had found himself in.
Otto also knew about the front Subaru put on around others, his face darkening when he thinks no one is looking—a product of him not trusting the people around him or something else—Otto didn’t know. Otto wanted to know.
And at this rate, I might never…Damn it! Think Otto Suwen…!
Still on his knees, Otto suddenly shot his head up with as much alertness as he could muster. The bugs and animals along the road were clearing once again…There was another carriage on the road—and it was approaching them quickly…!
Please…Try to alert them…!
Otto pleaded to the wildlife nearby in a desperate attempt to receive help. Otto watched on as Subaru was being backed down…
“Y-you better not! I’m the son of a really important noble! My f-father—My father will definitely get you killed for this!”
The incoming carriage was speeding up…
Please…Please tell me they noticed…!
“Even if that was true…How the hell’d he know we did it? Better say your prayers, ‘Your Highness’.”
He’s gonna be killed at this rate!
Otto’s heart dropped. They wouldn’t make it in time. Otto saw it, A nobleman’s carriage—certainly accompanied by knights—approaching rapidly on the horizon, still far out of reach of stopping the murder about to take place in front of him. Clenching his teeth, Otto prepared himself for one last ditch effort to buy them some more time. He didn’t know what he was going to do but he wasn’t about to watch on as Subaru was stabbed to death…!
That was the moment Otto saw it. A woman and a man stood on the outer platform of the carriage, the woman hoisting her sword above her head and sharply bringing it down in a slashing motion.
What the hell is that gonna do!? You’re still a couple thousand paces out—!
*FWOOSH*
“Shit…!” One bandit yelped.
“What the hell is that!?---” Another was cut down.
With a blistering gust of wind, the bandit in front of Subaru was taken out in an instant, and in quick succession, both the burly and fat bandits were neutralized by the same wind.
Otto let out a breath of relief as he began to black out.
Ah, We’re saved…
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Worry not, citizens. You are now safe.” The woman said, turning around towards Subaru with a line straight out of a storybook.
“Ah, it seems you are injured.” The woman’s tone switched from powerful to gentle as she approached him.
Subaru’s eyes welled up. He was safe now. He didn’t have to worry about the pain of having his stomach opened up or the deathly coldness of bleeding out. He didn’t have to worry about returning to that place—that god-forsaken alley. He was saved from that biting cold. He didn’t have to come face to face with the consequences of his failures again.
Subaru, for the first time since his arrival in Lugunica, felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Even if it was only temporary. Even if it was solely because he was saved from the clutches of a gruesome end. And because of that surge of emotion, and perhaps due to the severity of the damage to his head, Subaru made a decision he would desperately regret.
Subaru, still on his knees, threw himself onto his savior, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her stomach he began to sob violently.
“Uuu….*Sob*..Thank you…Thank you…!” Subaru shakily managed to say.
Clearly, that was the last thing his green-haired savior was expecting, as she yelped in surprise before standing awkwardly in the embrace, hands suspended above the sobbing boy.
Unsure of what to do and slightly embarrassed, she called out, “Ferris! We have injuries! P-please come and heal them!”
“Got it, Crusch-sama!” A feminine voice responded.
Subaru, only slightly returning to his senses, noticed the approach of another person, a feminine demi-human in a frilly blue dress.
“Nya!? What could this be, Crusch-sama…?” The demi-human said with a mischievous expression. “Getting all lovey-dovey with someone else makes Ferri jealous…”
“O-oh, quit it Ferris! The boy’s hurt. Now if you would please…?” Subaru heard the dialogue as he unburied his face in the woman’s uniform, now sullied with a mix of tears, snot and blood.
Wait…What am I…?
Subaru looked up, and, finally, he had realized it. His face turned bright red as he quickly separated himself from the embrace.
What the hell was I doing!? Ghk…and in front of a pretty girl too…!
“I-I’m SO sorry! I dunno what came o-over me…I—” Subaru winced before he could finish his apology. By now, the adrenaline had certainly worn off and his head was pounding.
Before the woman could respond, the demi-human came to inspect Subaru. “That wound of yours is pretty bad, nya. Let Ferri take a closer look.”
The extravagantly dressed demi-human knelt beside him, ears perked as they hovered their hands over Subaru’s injury. Suddenly, Subaru’s vision was surrounded with a cool, blue light. Almost miraculously, the pain in his head was gone and his nausea was receding.
“Ferri is gonna have you fixed up in a jiffy, nya~” The healer said, adjusting the frills of their dress.
“Ah, It seems Wilhelm-dono has finished gathering the remaining criminals.”
Subaru looked to the side opposite of the demi-human to spot an older man, seemingly in his mid to late 60s round the corner, bandits, and Otto, in tow. The older man looked like a picture perfect battle-butler from the various forms of media Subaru had consumed back home, fully equipped with the typical butler attire covered by various belts and holsters, topped with a sword along his hip.
Similarly to the woman that had saved his life moments earlier, the older man commanded a certain presence that absolutely screamed important to Subaru. For whatever reason, he must have assumed Otto was a member of the bandit gang that had attacked Subaru, and for that reason he had Otto’s body tied up along with the other criminals by one of the carriages.
“Pshh…Bahahaha…!” Subaru snorted and broke out into a fit of laughter.
If Otto’s mouth wasn’t taped over, he would have screamed, but his eyes did plenty of talking. Help me you asshole…!
“Have you gone crazy from a concussion, nya?” The demi-human asked, oblivious.
“H-hold up there–*chuckle*–don’t take the green one in…! *snort*”
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Crusch-san, Wilhelm-san, and Felix, right?” Subaru counted the party that had saved them one by one.
“You’d be correct.” Crusch confirmed, finding the more familiar way of address refreshing compared to the high honorifics most others use considering her status. “And you two would be Natsuki Subaru and Otto Suwen, correct?”
The two nodded. They were circled next to Crusch’s carriage, Crusch and Wilhelm standing while the other three were kneeled down, Subaru and Otto recovering from injury and Felix finishing healing Subaru’s head injury.
“Why is Ferri the only one that didn’t get an honorific, nya~?” Felix butted in, pouting at Subaru.
“Because you’re a dirty liar…!” Subaru said with a scornful look on his face. He had just found out from a witty remark of his that this feminine looking demi-human by the name of Felix was not, in fact, a cute girl, but in reality just a damn good crossdresser.
Not like I haven’t done some of that stuff myself, but I’ve never been so shameless about it…!
“Yeah? Well at least I’m nyot the type of person to go sobbing in the lap of a lady he met a few seconds ago!” Felix teased as Subaru’s face turned bright red once again.
“Again…” Subaru turned to Crusch. “I REALLY gotta apologize for that, Crusch-san…”
“Ahem…Well, I’d prefer it not happen again, but…consider your apology accepted.” Crusch cleared her throat, still clearly uncomfortable about the situation.
Subaru wanted to die after hearing that.
“Well–In any case…” Otto butted in. “I must thank you three for saving us from those criminals, I shiver thinking about what could have happened had you all not been here…! And Felix-san especially for his healing of me and my employee!”
“Of course.” Crusch nodded.
“*Cough* Yes, it was our pleasure.” Wilhelm cleared his throat, ignoring his prior mistake by Otto’s insistence.
“Yep! It’s not every day you get a chance to be healed by a royal knyite after all!” Felix remarked.
Subaru froze. “Royal knight…? As in—the royal capital—royal knight?”
“Of course! What else would it mean, Subaru-kyun?”
A royal knight, here? Of all places? Why…?
“Why are you guys here…?” Subaru clenched his fists as he stared into the ground.
“Hm? Well, we were finishing up some business befor—” Felix looked toward Crusch before being cut off.
“No. Why the hell are you guys here!?” Subaru suddenly raised his voice, eyes fiery and frantic.
“Wait! Natsuki-san!” Otto had a bad feeling about this.
“Subaru-kyun? I don’t under–” Felix was cut off, again.
“Answer me! Why the hell are all of you so damn useless!? What are you all doing out here!? Instead of at the capital, why are you here helping me !?” Subaru began to yell.
Why are they spending their time on a cockroach like me…!?
“Why weren’t you there to help!? You weren’t there to save them, but you’re here to save me!? How can all of you be so damn powerless when it actually matters!?” Subaru gnashed his teeth, clenching the dirt below him.
You’d be there to save me instead of her!? Are you fucking kidding me!?
Subaru wasn’t sure who he was really talking to anymore, but he had so many emotions, so many questions pent up inside him, and allowing them to escape his mind was, in some ways, lethargic for the troubled boy. However, soon after coming to that realization, Subaru only felt more disgusted with himself.
Felix was speechless. He had an idea about what the oddly dressed boy was talking about, but the sudden shift in mood and his yelling left no words on Felix’s lips.
Wilhelm, on the other hand, was rightfully upset at the boy’s fit of rage. Not allowing the boy’s unacceptable outburst to go on any longer, he stepped forward, asserting. “You have no right to—” Crusch put a hand across the older man’s chest, signaling him to stop.
Otto had already accepted they were going to be executed by sundown.
“It seems the effects of the situation in the capital are far more widespread than I had originally expected.” Crusch spoke, donning her commanding demeanor once again. The Duchess approached Subaru, kneeling down to meet him eye-to-eye. “You are referring to the mana disaster of the royal capital, correct?”
Subaru’s silence confirmed this for Crusch, just as those questions hurled recklessly at her knight had revealed much about the raven-haired boy’s internal conflict. At the same time, the eyes she gazed into, the ones she was expecting to be full of rage and indignance, were seemingly inexplicable. A cocktail of anger, sadness, self-hatred, ignorance, but most of all, regret. The boy’s intimidatingly angled eye shape, the shaking of his brownish-black irises, and his twistedly painful expression told Crusch all she needed to know about the severity of the disaster, and the severity of the effects it must have had on the people of the capital. Not bothering to answer the disgruntled boy’s questions—questions that were certainly just an expression of his dismay—Crusch had decided to take a different approach in addressing the situation.
“Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Duchess Crush Karsten.”
Looking up, Subaru examined her face—verdant green hair in bangs exaggerating her almond-shaped amber eyes, pulled together by the navy blue military cap worn atop her head. She wore a prideful, yet thoughtful expression to match the presence that her attire and voice commanded.
Crusch stared unwaveringly into Subaru’s eyes. “---Head of House Karsten and Royal Selection Candidate.”
Royal Selection?
Crusch rested her hand over her heart and began her speech. “I swear—by the name of House Karsten—in the wake of the passing of the royal family, I shall right the wrongs of this country from its very roots! From the sage council to the nobility, the knights, the merchants, the commoners and the beggars, I shall uproot and overwrite the state of political and social weakness the proud country of Lugunica has fallen into!”
A revolutionary…? And you think that’ll fix everything…!?
“The lax and slothful country of Lugunica under the suffocating and powerless covenant of the Dragon, Volcanica, shall be no more, including those that have ignored the suffering of our proud people, despite it being well within their power to prevent it!”
No. Subaru knew what the Duchess offered was something more. A complete and total reinvention of the world and its ideals. The eradication of sloth—the sloth that Subaru dreaded with every fiber of his being—that had led to the deaths of hundreds of innocents in the slums, that had led to the death of her . The proud Crusch Karsten proposed the destruction of the part of himself that had allowed him to sit idly by as he lost everything he cared about in this world, the part of himself he hated the absolute most.
Subaru continued to stare, that feeling returning once again. Awe. Awe at the prideful lioness’ speech—at her resolve. That’s the only real way Subaru could describe it, a feeling of looking at something so proud, so important, so prominent that it could never be attained for the lowly existence known as Natsuki Subaru.
But that can’t always be true, can it…?
Felix and Wilhelm stood and nodded in silent agreement and support of their lady’s speech.
Crusch stood back up, now looking outward towards the direction of the capital. Otto quickly butted in, slamming his fist downwards onto Subaru’s head, forcing a bow.
“I sincerely apologize for my employee’s outburst! I’ll be sure to discipline him accordingly…!”
“Yes. That I believe you should. It seems that it is time for us to take our leave.” Crusch looked back one last time. “I must thank you Natsuki Subaru, you have given me not only more to consider changing during my rule, but more to consider for my immediate campaign as well.”
The three began to walk towards their carriage bound for the capital.
“Farewell.”
“Goodbye.”
“B-bye bye, Subaru-kyun, Otto-kyun…”
“W-wait! You forgot—!” Subaru yelped, but they had already boarded and set off. Beneath Subaru’s hands was a handkerchief with the name “Karsten” embroidered upon it.