Chapter Text
Neal let Sara stay with him that night, and as he fell asleep with her familiar presence beside him, he couldn’t help but feel extremely happy, like contentedness if such a feeling could be overwhelming. They’d already decided that as she finished the process of transferring back to New York and moving out of London, she’d move in with him, which did sort of feel like a crazy decision to make in an hour long convo that ended with them collapsing together onto his bed and going to sleep. Obviously it was a decision that had to be made at some point, but that night he kept thinking, Wow, we just did that. This is actually real.
Three hours ago I thought I’d never see Sara again, and now she’s in my bed, carrying my child, she’s moving in with me, and we’re going to get married.
It felt like it had to be happening to someone else. It couldn’t be happening to him, because it was too… good. Domestic. Happy.
Not only were those not exactly the staples of Neal Caffrey’s life, but everything had been such a mess lately, falling apart around him, his father leaving, his blood being confirmed tainted with corruption, Peter getting arrested… he couldn’t believe something was going this right, no matter how big and inherently somewhat scary it felt.
When he woke up before Sara, as he often did, he was almost transported back in time by the feeling of her beside him. Maybe everything had been a bad dream. Maybe she was still here.
But then it all came rushing back, and the fear and excitement and thrill and happiness and also the bitter reality that recent events had in fact actually happened crashed into him.
Then he checked his phone and froze.
He had an unopened voicemail.
From James Bennett.
Left at 3:18 AM.
Careful not to disturb his sleeping girlfriend—fiance?!—he could have sworn last time he saw her they were friends with benefits—
Careful not to disturb Sara, Neal slid out of bed, grabbed a t-shirt to pull on, and walked into his bathroom where he was sure the audio wouldn’t wake Sara. Then he sat looking at his phone for a minute, unable to make himself play the voicemail.
He would eventually. There was no way he wouldn’t, just in case what he’d said actually mattered to his father and he’d suddenly grown a conscience. But there was something so bitter about him waiting by the phone eagerly to hear whatever his father had to say while the man wasn’t taking his calls, leaving Neal with no way of knowing if he was even reaching him.
For a few seconds (or maybe ten minutes, he wasn’t really counting the time), he just stood there, listening to the sound of his own breathing.
Then he played the voicemail.
There was a moment of static at the beginning, like James was still deciding what to say. Then he said, “I know the last thing you probably want from me is advice on how to be a parent, but… be there. I need to say it, I need you to know it. Be there. Don’t miss a thing.”
If Sara wasn’t sleeping in the other room, he would have laughed out loud. Not even a little chuckle, like… a full laugh. The people across the street would have been able to hear him laughing. But, as it was, he had a sleeping girlfriend to be sensitive of, so he settled for gaping at his phone, thinking He cannot be serious.
If he regretted not being present for Neal’s childhood, he sure had a hysterical way of showing it.
“I can’t come back, Neal. You understand why I can’t come back.” Yeah. Real funny way of showing how much he suddenly cared. “But at this point, I’m pretty much permanently a fugitive anyway, and I don’t want to miss the birth of your son because you’re in prison.” Child. We don’t know the gender. It sounded like he really was projecting, which was definitely… interesting, considering his actual behavior. “So you can, uh… you can play this in court, I guess.” His father took a deep breath. “I shot and killed Senator Terrance Pratt with Peter Burke’s gun. I believe the actions I took were in appropriate self-defense, and Agent Burke agreed, but I refused to stay, too afraid of being taken in again, even if I was in the right. I still can’t bring myself to come in, but I can’t let an innocent man take the fall for my actions.”
Neal snorted and paused the recording, talking to the receiver as if his father could actually hear him. “You don’t care about letting an innocent man take the fall. You’re only even doing this because I said some nice words that resonated with you.”
Neal unpaused, hearing mostly silence for a moment. Then his father exhaled. “There. I hope that’s enough. He stays out, you stay out, right?” More silence. “For what it’s worth, Neal, I really am sorry for how this all went down.”
Click.
That was it. That was the voicemail.
“It’s worth nothing,” Neal hissed, setting his phone angrily on the sink (he would’ve thrown it, but he really didn’t want to break it). “You’re not sorry for what you did. You’re sorry you got caught. You’re sorry I found out the truth. You’re maybe a little sorry that your actions almost resulted in me going back to prison for a little bit, and only because I have a kid on the way. You don’t care about what you did, or the fact that Peter almost took the fall for you. You don’t care.” It physically pained him to keep his voice down, but he really didn’t want to wake Sara.
He’d yell it later. It would be fine.
Neal exhaled shakily, clenching and unclenching one of his fists. As he processed his frustration and anger and just… sadness about his father, about his messed up family and the man he’d almost convinced himself was just misunderstood… he realized he actually had gotten what he needed.
Among all the bullshit about caring about family and being sorry, there really was a confession in there.
An authentic, explicit, voluntary confession that was consistent with the only other witness’ story. That really would probably be enough to get Peter off the hook, especially since most people wanted him off the hook.
It didn’t make sense for Peter to have committed this murder. Everyone wanted to believe him. It was just… the evidence.
Well, this was new evidence.
“Please let it be enough,” Neal whispered.
Collecting himself, Neal stepped out of the bathroom. When walked past his kitchenette, he noticed Sara stretching in his bed and patting the sheets next to her, looking for his presence. It was such a familiar sight, and it made his heart soar to think that this time, it was permanent. Through all the uncertainty, that much would be certain. They’d decided that together.
And yeah, permanence was also terrifying, and he was sure he’d have to deal with his flight instinct at some point along the way, but for now it was just welcome and refreshing. Finally, something he knew and could count on, as of last night.
“Morning,” Neal said as he watched Sara adjust to her surroundings.
“Wow,” she said as she blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the light. “That wasn’t a dream. I really did do this. I came back here.”
“Second thoughts?”
Sara shook her head, looking shocked with herself as she sighed. “No, not really. I mean, I’m definitely thinking about it a second time right now, but my decision is the same. If I’m going to have a baby, I’m going to do it right. I’m going to do it with his father, who I love, in the picture right beside me.”
Neal released a breath he’d been subconsciously holding. “I still can’t believe we’re going to have a baby.”
“I know. Me neither.”
“And we’re getting married. It’s like my whole life is changing.”
“Mine too. I’m about to grow a whole new human inside me for nine months.”
“Yeah, there’s definitely that,” Neal agreed. “But it’s like…” How did he describe this? “Even though I have the most stable life I’ve ever had right now, it’s all sort of been tied to this thing, you know?” he said, gesturing towards the leg that had the anklet. “I know Peter and Elizabeth will always be there for me as long as I need them to be, even after my sentence, but all the stability stuff—my job, the FBI paying for my housing, etc—is tied to the whole prison thing.” And as much as he longed for his freedom… “A part of me always wonders if I can keep it up when that stuff goes away and I have to support myself again. That’s not how I support myself. Those aren’t the skills I learned. So this…” That was where his way with words finally failed him.
Luckily, Sara had already figured it out. “You’re choosing something permanent in your own relationships, something structured like marriage, something that isn’t being enforced by the government.”
“Exactly.”
“I get it,” Sara said. “About permanence. I mean, not in the same way, and I’m really happy that this provides that for you. I’m really glad I can be that person in your life. But I’ve always shied away from that kind of permanent thing too. Marriage used to terrify me. I was worried about tying myself down.”
“You’re not anymore?”
“Oh no, I am,” Sara said. “But I don’t think attaching my life to yours can qualify as getting ‘tied down’ in any universe.”
Neal laughed. “Fair enough.”
“I don’t want you to think it’s a small decision.”
“I don’t. Trust me, I don’t. It’s definitely not a small decision for me, and I know you well enough to know it isn’t one for you.”
“It’s a big decision. It’s just that it’s a big decision I want to make. A big decision I’m making.”
Sara permanently in the clouds with Neal, or Neal permanently with his feet on the ground with Sara? They’d feel it out. They’d feel it out with a child to care for, too!
A big decision indeed. But, like Sara said, Neal wanted to make it.
“I have more good news, too,” Neal said.
“Your face just dropped when you said that,” Sara noted, “which does make me wonder how good the news is.”
“No, it’s… it is good news,” Neal said. He almost instinctually smiled comfortably, before remembering that Sara would see right through it and probably shut down in disappointment at his natural deception. “It’s just that it stirred up a lot of complicated feelings. I think I have a way to get Peter out of prison.”
Sara’s eyes widened. She was at this point sitting with her legs hanging off the side of the bed, and now she slid off, sliding on a pair of slippers and walking over to him. “A way to get him out legally? Not a way to break him out?”
“Oh, I’ve had ways to break him out,” Neal said playfully.
“Neal.”
“Yes?”
“You’re dodging your feelings.”
Damn it. Sara was right. She always was. “Well, the way to get him out includes a recorded confession from my father.”
At the word “father,” Sara’s face dropped to a somber expression as well. “See?” Neal pointed out.
“How did you get the confession?”
“Last night, after we talked… I called him. I left him a voicemail telling him about the baby. It’s kind of funny,” he said, shaking his head bitterly. “We haven’t told anybody yet, and the first person I told was him. I didn’t even think he would listen to it. It just brought up a lot of feelings about my own family, knowing I was going to be a father.”
“Of course.” Sara made a face. “He’s really the first person besides us to know?”
“Sorry.”
“I want to hate it, but…” Sara shook her head. “It convinced him to turn himself in?”
“Not really. He said a bunch of stuff he didn’t mean about being sorry and thinking it’s really important to be there for your family. But there was a confession in there, something I’m pretty sure we can use in court, and while it can’t stand alone as definitive proof, it will almost definitely keep Peter from getting indicted, which will save his career and get him out of jail.” Which is what matters.
“Then it’s a necessary sacrifice,” she said. “Besides, he’s dead to me, so he doesn’t count as knowing anything.”
“This is why I love you,” Neal said, meaning the words entirely, but also intending for them to be a lighthearted quip. But then he remembered that the phrase contained I love you in it.
It wasn’t anything they hadn’t said before. Well, they didn’t usually say it directly, and most recently, they’d been trying for a friends-with-benefits no-strings-attatched sort of relationship, so they’d definitely been avoiding the love concept. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to tell his fiance, who he loved, that he loved her, and yet the concept of them really letting themselves be serious was so fresh and new that the words still had a noticeable impact on the atmosphere.
“You love me because your father is dead to me?”
“I love you because you care about those things. Stuff that matters to me also matters to you.”
“Well,” Sara said, walking close enough to him to put her hands on his shoulders, “it’s a good thing those things matter to me, since I want to marry you.” She leaned in and kissed him, soft and sweet. When she pulled back, she leaned over to whisper in his ear, “And because I love you too.”
Neal already knew that, but it still set off fireworks in his chest to hear her say it. He pulled her into a much more substantial kiss, and had a feeling that in the midst of all the complications, the way his life kept throwing curveballs at him and changing everything as he knew it, this morning, things were finally changing for the better.
With Sara. With Peter.
Their child.
His father, who he’d never have to speak to again.
His father, who must care more than zero percent, apparently.
There were still surprises. His life still kept rapidly and suddenly changing course. But these were changes he could get behind.