Chapter Text
Imagine some villain - Idunno, Justin Hammer? - attacking New York, and the Busters are so worried about Kevin. “Yeah, it’s okay, Kev, just don’t come in, we’re all taking a day off, just for the love of God don’t go out in the streets!!”
“Alright, Abby. But then how will I get to my bike rally later this afternoon?” Thor says, and Steve is giving him a really weird look from across the hall because Steve is the only one who hears it, but it always cheers Thor up to talk to Abby. He’s glad he called her.
“Don’t - it’s - Erin?”
“Maybe you should stay home from your rally, Kevin,” Erin’s voice comes through the phone, and Thor’s own enhanced hearing can pick up the sound of her patting Abby on the back.
“Well, I can’t do that, it’s for the prize. I’m sure this’ll all be over by then, though. See you!”
He bows his head as he hangs up the phone, then tucks it away in his uniform. Steve doesn’t say anything, just holds his hand out to Thor to clasp. It’s good to have a brother in arms to help bear his secrets.
And the concern doesn’t go one-way. When Doombots come to the city, the area around the firehouse is almost completely destroyed. The firehouse itself, oddly enough, remains virtually untouched, but that doesn’t stop fear from clenching around Thor’s heart. As soon as the battle is done, he grabs Hulk to help him shift rubble, moving three cars out of the way perhaps less gently than he ought, judging by the crashing and rattling sounds they make as they land.
“HULK HELP?”
“Yes, Hulk, you’re very helpful. If you could just move this half a building which has fallen between the firehouse and myself as quickly as possible, I would - yes, thank you -”
And then Thor and Hulk bound into the firehouse. “BUSTERS OF GHOSTS?” Thor calls helplessly, not even sure if they’re still here, and if they are he can’t break his cover, and…
“Heyyyy.” A slight, chest-achingly familiar blonde figure turns on her stool. “Who ya gonna call? No offense, but don’t call us - robots aren’t really our thing.”
“Hol - Dr. Holtzmann, I am glad to see that you are unharmed.”
She grins and winks, which could mean anything.
“Are the other Busters of Ghosts here?”
“Yep. Upstairs. Playing Monopoly, so they probably didn’t even notice to the noise - and who might you be, big guy?” She comes off her stool now, moving closer to the Hulk. Her stride is confident, but not aggressive, and her head is cocked to the side so that her hair flops slightly with each step.
“PRETTY LADY,” Hulk beams.
“Pret - Oh, yeah, sure, plenty pretty,” she waves off. Then she leans towards him, not blinking or breaking eye contact. “Hey, wanna see what happens if you drink ectoplasmic goo?”
“That sounds like a poor idea,” Thor says, eyes widening as he realizes exactly who he’s just introduced. It’s not so much the idea of Holtzie and the Hulk, although that’’s terrifying enough, to be sure; the real terror comes at the idea of her meeting Bruce. “I-am-afraid-we-must-be-going-right-now-please-come-now, Hulk, COME!”
“SMART LADY,” Hulk croons. He looks sad. “HULK SEE SMART LADY LATER?”
Oh no, Thor thinks very quietly.
Not too long after that, the Avengers are dealing with a foe of Dr. Strange’s - some mystical warlock determined to take over the city, but they’ve just had a HYDRA resurfacing, a gang war that the Hawkeyed one was determined to become involved in, and an attempted takeover of Stark Industries, all of which left them exhausted, so it’s not surprising that none of them are on the top of their game against the warlock.
“Do we even know where this guy is holing up?” Clint complains. “He could be anywhere.”
Wanda shakes her head glumly. “As soon as he surfaces, I can defeat him, but I can do nothing until I know where he is.” She pushes her long hair back out of her face once again, and Sergeant Barnes offers her a hairband with a sympathetic expression. She nods her thanks and continues speaking. “It will be somewhere with a history of magic, I think, near to one of the ley-lines, a private residence. Likely one of not-insignificant stature.”
Thor blinks. “I may be able to help locate this villain,” he says. “Let me make a call.”
Patty picks up the phone on the second ring. “What’s up?” she asks, and Thor starts talking immediately.
“Patty, my thanks. I’m seeking a residence in the city of -”
“What’s wrong with your voice?”
Thor closes his eyes and mentally says several words that don’t exist in Midgardian tongues.
On the other hand, it works for Clark Kent. “I, uh… Kevin… lent his phone to our aid, this is Thor, calling from the Avengers.”
Patty is silent for a minute.
She says, “Uh huh.”
Thor opens one eye and wishes he had Mjolnir in his other hand. “Lady Patty?”
“Uh huh. Well you tell Kevin, Thor, that if he goes giving his phone to any more superheroes, then I will be giving my foot to his ass, because we have done the thing where Kevin got possessed, and it was not a good thing, Thor, it was a bad thing, and I do not want any harm coming to our Kevin.”
She’s panting a little by the time she stops, and Thor closes his eye again.
“Please don’t tell Abby,” he whispers.
Patty pauses a minute before she answers, and he can imagine her sudden stillness, the way she can let all her anger and frustration boil into the air and away, leaving her cleansed and calm. When she answers, she’s the familiar Patty, warm and good-humored: “Oh, I ain’t gonna tell any of them, this is gonna be hilarious,” she says, and Thor relaxes.
“So tell me about this house y'all’re looking for?”