Chapter Text
It was 6:40 and Cyrus was ready to head off to TJ’s place for a movie night, when his phone buzzed.
[JoLamaJama: hey cy-guy! whatcha up to?]
Reading that little message made Cyrus’ heart soar, emitting a little squeal as he started texting him back.
[Cy-Guy: heading over to tj’s for a movie night. wbu?] he sent, adjusting his hair in the mirror. Cyrus sported a pair of sweatpants that had a hand-drawn Nike check mark on the end of one of the pant legs. His logic of a few years ago was if he had some recognizable logo, people would talk to him (that didn’t happen). His shirt was a T-shirt that read “Warning: I will break out into showtunes”.
[JoLamaJama: do you wanna come to the spoon with Andi and I tomorrow?]
[JoLamaJama: you can bring TJ?]
Cyrus pondered the offer, the butterflies in his stomach growing and growing. This would give him a chance to hang out with Jonah, but he knew Andi would be there too. He wouldn’t really call them a ‘thing’, per se, more like an experiment, which hopefully would lead to the conclusion that Andi and Jonah are better as friends. Cyrus knew that Jonah’s bi, since he told him last year, and that little glimmer of hope all of a sudden glowed brighter.
[Cy-Guy: yeah, love to!! figure out a time and text me. i’ll see if tj wants to come too.]
The time now read 6:47, and Cyrus rushes to get to TJ’s house. He put on TJ’s sweatshirt from yesterday, taking a deep breath in through his nose and reveling in the scent. The scent of cologne and mint shampoo had slightly faded, but it still reminded him of TJ and how happy he made him feel. The butterflies in his stomach began to rise again, and he swallowed hard. Nope, we’re not going to do this, Cyrus warned himself, besides, you’re going to hang out with Jonah tomorrow! he thought to himself, as he walked down the street. The sun had just began to set, the gentle oranges and pinks painting the sky like a canvas. He could almost make out the sliver of the moon in a corner of the sky as he came up to TJ’s house. Small plants hung on the door and a pumpkin from Halloween still sat by the doormat. Smiling, Cyrus gently knocked on the door and heard a voice yell inside.
“Come on in, the door’s open! I’ll be down in a minute,” TJ called from upstairs. Cyrus opened the door and gasped, shutting the door softly. The house was absolutely stunning; the furniture, all the decor, and the little candles that were on the side tables were a nice touch. Cyrus slipped off his, err, TJ’s sweatshirt, and hung it on one of the hooks near the door. TJ hadn’t come down yet, so Cyrus wandered over towards the fireplace, looking at the photos on the ledge. There were photos of TJ as baby, which Cyrus absolutely adored, ones of him and his parents when he was probably five or six, and a few at what Cyrus presumed to be Thanksgiving. He reached the last couple, the smile on his face slowly fading as he studied them. One of them was a selfie that TJ’s mom, probably, had taken with her husband, but TJ was nowhere to be found. The rest of them were all the same; TJ’s parents, but not him. Fortunately, the last photo was one of TJ when he was younger, with whipped cream all over his face, most likely from his birthday. Cyrus carefully took down the picture frame from the ledge, smiling as he picked out all the little details. Unbeknownst to him, TJ came walking down the stairs, drying his hair with a towel.
“Oh, c’mon, not that one, it’s embarrassing!” he practically wailed, causing Cyrus to jump and immediately place the photo back on the ledge, his face redder than ever.
“Oh, s-sorry, I didn’t mean to, I mean, I didn’t think that,” he started, completely at a loss for words.
“Relax, I’m just messing with you, dude,” TJ assured him, tossing his towel aside onto one of the chairs. TJ wore a pair of sweatpants as well, and a T-shirt that came down to his elbows, that had an image of a basketball on it. “That was my sixth birthday,” he informed Cyrus, taking the picture down from the edge of the fireplace, “My mom and dad made me a cake, or so they told me. I dove my head into the cake with a ton of force, but it was just whipped cream, hence the cream all over my face,” TJ explained, a small smile growing on his face.
Cyrus loved the photo, and loved it even more after the little story. “I think that’s my favorite photo of you ever,” he remarked, holding back his giggles. TJ smiled, running his hands through his hair, still damp from the shower. Cyrus could smell the mint shampoo even stronger now, taking over all his senses.
“So, what movie do you wanna watch?” TJ broke in, clearing Cyrus’ train of thoughts. “You can pick whatever you want...but please not Marley & Me,” he added sternly.
“Oh, please,” Cyrus scoffed playfully, “I didn’t come here to cry, Kippen,” he joked, pointing a finger at him. “Do you have high school musical?” he asked, making his way to the couch. Cyrus was a sucker for musicals, especially ones with happy endings.
“Yeah, I have that,” TJ replied calmly, trying to mask the excitement that was bubbling up inside of him. High School Musical was one of TJ’s favorite movies of all time, but he was embarrassed to admit it, so he simply selected the movie and pressed play, taking a seat next to Cyrus. As the first song started, Cyrus sang along to the first song.
“This is the start, of something new,” Cyrus sang, trying his best to sing all of the notes, but most of them coming out pitchy.
“It feels so right, to be here with you,” TJ murmured, hoping Cyrus wouldn’t notice. He did.
“I’m sorry, did you just sing the next line?” Cyrus asked, in shock, “Have you seen—Wait, you like this movie?” he gasped, dropping his jaw.
TJ felt his face heat up, his hands gliding up to his hair, fiddling with it. “Whaaat?” he countered, his voice jumping higher than expected, “I’ve never even heard of—I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen it, err,” he stammered, coming up short with a excuse. “Yes,” he grumbled, admitting his defeat, “yeah, okay? I, TJ Kippen, love this movie so much. I know all the lyrics to all the songs, and I listen to ‘Get-cha Head In The Game’ before all my basketball games. Happy?” he sighed, tilting his head back over the edge of the couch.
“Thrilled! Now I finally have someone to sing the duets with me instead of trying, and failing, to sing them both,” Cyrus giggled, punching him lightly. “Now, buck up. Your favorite song is up next,” he reminded him, as Troy expertly dribbled the basketball on the court.
“Coach said to, fake right and break left,” TJ sang, his voice soft at, but after realizing that Cyrus wasn’t gonna judge him, started growing in volume. Eventually, he was on his feet, in sync with all the moves that the characters were.
“Why am I feeling so wrong? My head’s in the game, but my heart’s in the song,” he belted, stopping for breath and allowing his gaze to linger on Cyrus. “What?” he practically squeaked, sitting back down on the couch and crossing his legs.
“TJ, you’re incredible!” Cyrus beamed, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, chuckling, “Like, holy crap, you are such an amazing singer,” Cyrus added, still in shock.
Having Cyrus’ hands on his shoulders made TJ melt, a lazy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Eh, not really,” he muttered with a shrug, “I mean, I like singing, but I’m not great at it,” he said, before putting his own hands on Cyrus’ shoulders. “You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? If this gets out, I’m going to be the laughing stock of the school,” he panicked, terror pooling in his eyes, “I can’t have people knowing that I like this, or else my whole reputation is finished,” he exclaimed, his fingers digging into Cyrus’ shoulders.
“Hey,” Cyrus murmured softly, taking his hands and placing them on TJ’s, “I won’t tell anyone, I swear,” he promised, and TJ loosened his grip. “You can be ‘TJ Kippen: Scary Basketball Guy’ at school, and ‘TJ Kippen: Musical Softie’ when it’s just us,” Cyrus joked, seeing TJ visibly relax.
‘Just us’. The words rang in TJ’s head like bells, unable to concentrate on anything for a few moments before snapping back into reality.
“Thanks,” TJ said, relieved, glancing up at the TV. Through all their talking, they’d reached ‘When There Was Me And You’. “Aw, I love this song,” TJ openly admitted, “her vocals are incredible,” he added, waiting with anticipation.
“Can we—can we skip this one?” Cyrus asked meekly, causing TJ to pause the movie.
“What? C’mon, it’s like one of the best songs in the movie! I promise I won’t sing through this one,” he chuckled, before noticing the more somber expression on Cyrus’ face, and his smile disappeared. “Underdog,” TJ started, “I feel like I know you well enough to say that something’s bothering you. And you’ve helped me deal with my stuff, so I’m going to do the same,” he insisted, waiting for Cyrus to reply.
“TJ,” Cyrus started weakly, his gaze down on his knees, “have you ever liked someone? Not just like ‘oh they’re cute’, but like it pains you to see them knowing that your chances with them are slim to none?” he rambled, his breath now shaky, on the verge of tears.
TJ felt like he was being read his autobiography as he listened to Cyrus. “Yeah, actually I do. It sucks,” he added plainly.
Cyrus sighed, letting a few tears fall. “I just—I know he doesn’t like me, I know it,” he cried, swiping away at his tears.
“C’mon, Cy,” TJ hummed, rubbing his back to comfort him, “any guy would be lucky to be with you,” he reminded him, “so, what’s this guy like anyways?” TJ asked, hope and butterflies forming in his gut.
Cyrus let a breath out of his nose, and smiled weakly. “Oh, he’s so great. He has really nice hair and is, like, super handsome, but that’s beside the point,” Cyrus began, clearing his throat, “He is, well, not straight, at least that’s what he told me. He’s kind, supportive, and makes me laugh when I need it. He gets me completely, but I think that he thinks of me as only a friend,” Cyrus admitted.
TJ fought to keep himself from screaming externally. Cyrus really thought all that about him? He was so...thoughtful, to say the least.
“I—I know exactly what you mean…That guy must be someone you know pretty well,” TJ commented, shifting slightly closer to Cyrus, a bubble of hope rising within him.
Cyrus nodded, a small smile crossing his mouth. “We’ve only really gotten close this year,” he admitted, twiddling his fingers, glancing up at TJ.
“Yeah?” TJ chirped, his legs mere inches from Cyrus’. He’s talking about you! TJ thought to himself, beaming.
“And I just—I don’t like the song because it reminds me of how I keep thinking that he doesn’t like me, you know, more than a friend,” he admitted, his smile faltering.
“Cyrus,” TJ began, trying to mask the excitement in his voice, “whoever this guy is,” TJ added, with a hint of hope in his voice, “I’m sure that he likes you. Like 100% sure, according to the way you described him.” Cyrus turned to TJ, a pale blush dusting his own cheeks. In that moment, the duo locked eyes and TJ’s grey-blue eyes met with Cyrus’ amber ones with gold flecks.
“You—you really think Jonah likes me?” Cyrus beamed, a sense of euphoria taking over his body.
‘Jonah’. Jonah, TJ mentally repeated, almost unable to comprehend what had just happened. The whole time, Cyrus was talking about Jonah, not him.
“Jonah?” TJ muttered, unable to describe this feeling. It felt like all the joy he’d ever felt had just rushed out of his body. It felt like he was falling, faster than anyone should, and nobody was going to catch him. It felt...awful.
“Yeah!” Cyrus piped up, giddiness overwhelming him, “oh, speaking of Jonah, he asked if you wanted to come hang out with him and Andi and me at the Spoon tomorrow?” Cyrus asked.
“Yeah, whatever,” TJ croaked, his voice on the verge of breaking. But he couldn’t break down here, not now; not while Cyrus was still there.
“Great! I’ll let him know you’re coming,” Cyrus exclaimed, firing a quick text to Jonah and slipping his phone back in his pocket.
TJ just nodded, and unpaused the movie, the song striking a new chord within him. Now he understood why Cyrus hated the song; it brought him back down to reality, and it did the same for TJ. Cyrus didn’t like him more than a friend; that was all his imagination. He fought back tears during that song and the rest of the movie, until the credits rolled, then turned off the TV.
“Thanks for having me over...and helping me with my ‘stuff’,” he added, smiling sheepishly as he made his way to the door.
“Don’t mention it,” he muttered rather coldly, swallowing hard. “I’ll see you tomorrow—just let me know when,” he added.
“You got it!” Cyrus shot back with finger guns, before tentatively leaning in to give TJ a hug. “You’re a great friend, TJ,” he mumbled into his shirt. TJ felt the butterflies rise in his stomach, trying to quell them, but failing. Cyrus always made him feel..like that.
Releasing him, Cyrus waved goodbye, and TJ watched him walk away until he was a speck in the distance. He then shut the door, and scrambled up the stairs, entering his room and slamming the door shut.
“Th-that’s it,” he mumbled through tears, “from now on, no more hanging out with him one on one. I can’t do that. It’s too...painful,” he decided, biting down harshly on his lower lip. He glanced into the bathroom, seeing the familiar gleam.
No, he instructed himself, not again, you promised. You promised yourself, you promised Cyrus, you— he snapped out of his thoughts.
“He wouldn’t care,” he mumbled, taking a few steps forward, “he doesn’t care. He cares about Jonah,” he admitted to himself, balling his hands into fists. Before he could enter the bathroom, he got a text from Cyrus.
[Cy-Guy: tomorrow at 4 at the spoon. thanks again for everything today :)]
TJ had to fight the smile that made its way onto his face.
“It’s late tonight,” he told himself, shutting the bathroom door. “Tomorrow's a new day,” he reminded himself, lying awake in bed for while before falling asleep.