Chapter Text
Leo's 16
Donnie's 16
Mikey's 16
Raphael's 15
Raphael lay back on his bed on December 21 with his hands clasped behind his head and a dreamy expression on his face as he thought about his crush. He loved everything about Don: his slim tea green figure, his reddish brown eyes, his gap tooth, his adorable little tail that untucked when he was totally relaxed, his firm ass, his toned legs and his gentle, easy nature that was the opposite of his. Don could soothe Raphael like nobody else with just one word, unlike Leo, who drove Raphael insane with his pomposity. Don never made Raphael feel like he was stupid or a brute or that he and his opinions were worthless. He always knew what to say when Raphael had a bad day. He knew when to leave Raphael alone, unlike Leo, who was always up his shell about something. Donnie was goodness personified and never raised his voice. He made Raphael want to be a better turtle and he made him feel things he'd never thought he'd feel: love and happiness, as well as warmth pooling in his groin whenever Don was around.
His hormones aside, Raphael mostly wanted to take Don in his arms, hug, kiss him and to tell him what he meant to him. He'd been tempted many times when they'd worked together on mechanics, which was a mutual interest, but he'd frozen every time he'd tried to confess his feelings.
Raphael had had the same feelings for Leo a few years prior, but he'd also been unable to tell him, because he'd thought that Leo would never return the same feelings. Leo was the perfect son, unlike him and while Donnie was also perfection, he seemed to enjoy Raphael's company, which Leo didn't. Leo seemed to find Raphael's presence an annoyance, so the temperamental turtle no longer spent time with him and rather spent it with Donnie. Leo was gorgeous with his mesmerizing cobalt blue eyes, leaf green slender frame, cute butt and incredible legs, but he was out of reach and too self-righteous. Donnie was down-to-earth and attainable.
Raphael had been in love with Donnie for about six months now. He knew he had to confess his feelings, but how? He wasn't good with words. Actions were more his thing. He had to do something, but what? He couldn't ask Mikey for advice, because he'd scoff and endlessly mock him, the macho turtle for falling in love. He couldn't ask his dad, because it'd lead to another uncomfortable talk about sex, so his only options were either April or Casey.
No. Scratch Casey. He was a Neanderthal about emotions and love. The poor guy had hit on April and tried to woo her by asking her to a wrestling match, so he wasn't the best person to ask.
Raphael wanted to tell Donnie the next day and who knows if everything went well, maybe he'd have some fun in the bedroom with his new mate at Christmas? That'd be the best Christmas present. He smiled at the idea.
Then he remembered that April was away and would only be back on Christmas Eve, which meant Leo was the only one he could ask.
It was 10 p.m., but he knew Leo would be awake. He rarely went to bed before midnight, because he was usually waiting up for Raphael and meditating.
The green eyed turtle scowled. Asking Leo would be humiliating, especially if he laughed at him, but there was no one else he could ask, so he had to ignore his ego and suck it up.
Raphael got up, went to Leo's room, knocked on the door and said, "Fearless, it's me. Can we talk?"
"I'm kind of busy, Raph."
"Too busy for your favorite little brother? Open the damn door or I'll kick it down."
"Since you ask so nicely," Leo said dryly. "I'll open it."
Leo opened the door and Raphael entered the room.
"You're not my favorite little brother. I don't have favorites, Raph," Leo said.
"Whatever. I need some advice."
"What kind of advice?"
"Uh, love," a blushing Raphael said.
"My hotheaded brother's in love. Wow," Leo teased. "Who's the lucky girl?
"I need your help. Stop poking fun at me. It's hard enough asking you without being mocked," Raphael snapped, his green eyes blazing.
"All right. What do you want?"
"How do you woo someone?"
"You take them on dates and buy them gifts and stuff. Compliment them and do things for them. Flowers and gifts are always winners. Make them meals. Do things from the heart. Tell them how much they mean to you and never treat them badly when you have their heart. Respect them, cherish them and love them. I think it's great you're in love, Raph, and I hope you meet someone who fills you with joy and gives you the love you deserve. You think you're not worthy of affection, but you are. You're so very deserving and anyone who has your heart is extremely blessed. I think you're incredible. I'm so happy for you and hope it works out," Leo said in a voice that was a strange mixture of elation and sadness.
Raphael's plastron swelled with pride. Leo had said he was incredible. Was he flirting? And his tone sounded disappointed. Why? It wasn't like Leo liked him more than a brother, so Raphael shoved the flirting idea to the back of his mind.
"Thanks, Leo," Raphael said. "You've helped me think of ideas. I know exactly how to woo Donnie now."
"Yeah? Donnie, huh?" Leo said, trying to hide the pain in his voice.
"Yeah," Raphael said, his green eyes shining with happiness as an idea hit him. "Thanks, Leo. I also hope you meet someone. You can be a big pain in the shell, but you're also pretty cool sometimes and deserve love. I'm gonna knock Donnie's shell off. I'll make him a romantic meal, compliment him and tell him how I feel. Hey. Can I ask you if I need more help?"
"Sure, Raph," Leo said, trying not to cry.
Raphael didn't see the gloomy expression on Leo's face when he turned around and left the room and he didn't see Leo collapse on his bed in a flood of tears.
XXXX
Raphael woke up early the next morning and went to the kitchen.
Leo was sitting at the table and drinking his tea.
Raphael began to prepare Donnie's coffee and said breezily, "Morning, Leo. You look buggered. Didn't sleep?"
"I'm fine," Leo lied. "You seem chipper."
"Yeah. I have a feeling Christmas will be extra special this year," Raphael said and winked.
"I'm happy for you, Raph," Leo lied.
Donnie entered the room and said, "Hi, guys."
"Hey, Donnie," Raphael said as he poured Donnie's brewed coffee into a cup and then stared at him adoringly. "I made your coffee."
"Thanks, Raph. You're a lifesaver," Donnie said as he accepted the coffee. "What would I do without you? You're the best. Hey, Leo. You don't look so hot. Bad night?"
"I'm fine," Leo hissed as he stood. "I'm gonna meditate. I'll see you later," he added and left the room.
"What's his problem, Raph?" Donnie said. "It's not like Leo to be crabby, even if he had a bad night."
"Leo's probably pissed that he lost one of his boring books or something. He'll get over it. I wanna ask you something."
"What? I need to go to the lab in a minute. I'm way behind with my work."
"Do you wanna spend time with me later?"
"I'm not sure I can. Sorry. I'm so behind and April's coming over to watch movies."
"I thought she was only coming here on Christmas Eve."
"Plans change. I'll see what I can do. I want to make sure the thing I'm working on is finished by Christmas. It's a secret, so I can't tell you what it is."
"You're working on something? You're in love, huh?"
Donnie smiled and said, "I am."
"Do I know the person?"
"Yes," Donnie said and smiled mysteriously. He placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder, which sent a shiver down his spine and said, "I have to go, Raphie. Thanks for the coffee. You're really sweet when you want to be, you know. I like that."
A blushing Raphael's plastron swelled at the words. "It's nothing."
Donnie called me Raphie and sweet. He likes me more than a brother. It's obvious. I'll tell him how I feel and then I'll cook for him.
"Hey, Raph, I appreciate what you do. Thank you," Donnie said.
"Only a pleasure, Donnie."
An excited Raphael thought about Donnie and their conversation. I think he's making me something for Christmas. Wow. Donnie also likes me, but why did Leo act so weird? Stupid Fearless is probably jealous. Yeah. That's it. Typical Leo. He's never happy for anyone else.
XXXX
Leo's heart had broken when he'd seen the loving looks that Raphael had cast at Donnie and he'd made a decision. He couldn't stay in the lair and see his crush hook up with someone else. It'd be too painful.
Leo knocked on Splinter's door and said, "Sensei, can we talk, please?"
"Come in, Leonardo."
Leo entered the room and said, "I need to talk to you."
"What is the matter, Leonardo?" the aged rat said. "You look distressed."
"I am. It's about Raphael."
"What about him? Is he sick?"
"He's love-sick, Sensei."
"My son, that is good, is it not? I do not understand."
"It is and it isn't. Raph's in love with Donnie. I'm happy for him, but I'm heartbroken. I've always liked Raph and now I can never tell him."
"Does Donatello feel the same way about Raphael?"
"I'm convinced he does. They spend so much time together and Donnie often tells me how wonderful Raph is."
"Perhaps there is another reason why Donatello mentions Raphael's attributes. Not because he is interested in Raphael himself, but so that you will consider Raphael as a mate."
"I sincerely doubt that, Sensei. I believe Donnie feels the same way about Raph. I can't be here if they're a couple, because it'd be too painful. I'm asking permission to go away for an extended period of time. I hope my love for Raph will diminish to that of brotherly affection only and I'll be able to be happy for them. I also feel I haven't been as good a leader as I can be. Send me to the Ancient One and I can hone my skills. Maybe two years away. That'll be sufficient."
"Who will lead the team?"
"Raph can lead in my absence. It's not forever, Sensei. Please. I need to get away," Leo beseeched.
"Very well, Leonardo. I will make preparations with the Ancient One and you will leave shortly after Christmas."
"Thank you, Sensei," Leo said and bowed.
Leo left Splinter's room, lowered his head and collided with Raphael, who was on his way to Donnie's lab.
"Whoa, Fearless. Watch where you're going!" the red clad turtle said irritably.
Leo said nothing, strode to his bedroom and banged the door so hard behind him that it nearly fell off its hinges.
Raphael blinked in surprise. Leo was pissy, but not that pissy that he'd slam his door. He was the master of self-control and never did that.
What the hell's upset Fearless so much?
He decided to give Leo space and to talk to him later that day after he'd spoken to Donnie.