Chapter Text
"Don't touch that," Herta barks.
March's hands flinch away from the pocket watch-shaped object, suspended by cables and wires and attached to the matrix of the Simulated Universe. "Sorry!" she yelps. "I just couldn't help myself! It's so shiny…"
"You should know not to touch curios by now," Dan Heng says, scolding. March pouts at him.
Herta sniffs. "I will not be held liable for anything that happens to you." She goes back to fiddling with a side panel.
Stelle yanks March back a few feet. "Sorry," she says, apologizing in place of her friend. "Is this thing dangerous?"
"Nothing you can’t handle," Herta says dismissively.
"So, like…not more than usual?" Stelle asks. Dan Heng frowns.
"Small chance of cognitive dissonance, but nothing major."
"Cognitive dissonance?" Dan Heng asks. "From what?"
Behind him, March whispers to Stelle, "what’s cognitive dissonance?"
Stelle shrugs back.
"Just from mentally being in there a week," Herta says. "But the brat’s resilient. She’ll be fine. Some other possibilities, too, since my Universe is not yet properly configured to accept external hardware, but I can’t be bothered to list them all, and they won’t be an issue for you."
"A week? I didn’t sign up for a week," Stelle says, crossing her arms. "I have things to do in that time. You trying to trick me?"
"You’ll only be in there an hour," says the puppet, with all the patience of someone trying to explain the whys of the universe to a toddler. "It will feel like a week. That’s why I said ‘mentally.’"
Stelle shrugs, satisfied with this explanation. Her friends, however, are not.
"Stelle, I’m not sure about this," March says. Dan Heng crosses his arms in agreement.
"Ehhhhh, it’ll be fine. Herta won’t let me die. I’m too much of an investment."
"And an overconfident brat," Herta says. "I’m done. Get in." She stands up from the panel, gesturing to the entrance of her Simulated Universe.
Stelle dodges March’s grabs and steps onto the blue platform, stretching her arms above her head. "Ready! See you in an hour, I guess?"
"Are you sure you’ll be alright?" Dan Heng asks.
Beside him, March braces herself.
Stelle shrugs as the Simulated Universe starts up, engulfing her in blue light. "Too late now!"
"No, it’s not," Dan Heng is about to say, but then –
– March launches herself forward, reaching for Stelle –
– "March, No," Dan Heng tries to say, grabbing at her wrist –
– and all three of them go tumbling into the blue light, leaving behind an exasperated Herta.
"Idiot kids," she mutters.
They’re let out somewhere in a copy of the Artisanship Commission alleys. Stelle yawns, stretches, and does a double take at the sight of her friends. "I thought I told Herta to set me up with Bronya and Seele," she says.
"Aha, sorry!" March says sheepishly. "You get us instead. I couldn’t just leave you alone for a whole week!"
"March," Dan Heng begins.
She cuts him off. "Oh, don’t worry about it, Dan Heng! I’m sure Herta has all sorts of backup plans, with her whole Genius Society thing!"
Stelle blinks. "You’re…the real March and Dan Heng."
"Of course! Who else would we be?"
"Herta sets me up with fake people sometimes, so I can work with a team. But that’s not important. I don’t think the Universe is meant to support more than one brain."
"Oh, no," March says. "Did I mess things up? Should we leave?" She looks around, fretting, for some sort of exit sign.
"I don’t think you can, for now," Stelle admits. "We need to find a Herta puppet, and she only shows up after I’m almost dead or I’ve gathered a bunch of data for her."
"Back up," Dan Heng says. "Fake people? And what do you mean almost dead?"
"Herta has models of a whole bunch of people we’ve met. They’re pretty accurate in fighting style. Makes things easier."
"And the dead part??" March asks.
"I’m not actually almost dead. I just would be if it weren’t a simulation. Pain receptors are dulled and all that. Makes it easier to get accurate data."
"Why on earth do you put yourself through this," March responds. "This sounds horrible!"
Stelle grins. "Free shit," she says flippantly.
"It’s not free if you’re working for her, Stelle," Dan Heng scolds.
"Ah, whatever. Let’s get going!" Stelle summons her lance, swinging it around experimentally. She hits a nearby box and it catches on fire. "Faster we get through this, faster I can send you guys home."
Dan Heng and March immediately voice their objections, but Stelle is already running ahead to beat up a poor frog ingenium. March quickly seals over the nearby flaming box with ice, extinguishing it, and the two of them run after Stelle before she gets herself hurt.
It takes approximately four frog things and two exploding goldfish for Stelle to notice something is off.
She’s actually breathing heavily, for once, and the sting of tanking the ingenium’s explosion has not yet gone. Most importantly, she has cleared out the area (and checked multiple times), but there is not a trace of the usual rifts between areas.
A few feet away, waiting for her to finish running in circles, March is resting in an alley. Dan Heng is perched on a terrace above her, staring at nothing in particular. Stelle leans on her lance. The flames lick up her arms and (paradoxically) heal her burns. "Hey, Dan Heng," she asks, offhand. "See any starskiffs up there?"
Dan Heng squints at the horizon. "A few," he says. "Mostly congregated around Starskiff Haven, of course."
Stelle pauses. Turns towards him. "You can see Starskiff Haven from there?"
"Should I not be able to?"
"No," Stelle says, confused.
"Dan Heng has really sharp eyes," March says, "and even I would be able to see Starskiff Haven from here! I think. At least part of it, probably. It’s really big."
"You shouldn’t be able to see Starskiff Haven, because the render distance isn’t that good, " Stelle says. "Herta has the universe build a couple alleyways at a time and then uses well-placed walls and buildings to keep me from seeing out of bounds without specifically looking for it." She jumps up beside Dan Heng and stares in the direction he gestures to. Sure enough, instead of the floating void she's accustomed to when looking too close, before her stretches the Luofu in its entirety, starskiffs and all. "Oh, that's weird. "
"Let me see!" March complains, clambering up beside the two of them. "Oh, yeah, that is just the Luofu. Are you sure this isn't just another of Herta's updates? Maybe more brains means more computer power."
"Maybe," Stelle mutters. "Maybe we should just wait out the week." She slumps onto the banister and the three of them sit in silence.
"I’m hungry," March eventually complains. "Does Herta provide snacks?"
"...Food isn't usually a problem. Or ever. Not really. I don't get hungry here. Normally."
"Ugh, does this mean we have to scrounge things up ourselves? For a whole week? "
"Maybe if we starve enough, Herta will pull us out early."
"No thank you!"
Dan Heng exhales sharply. "I believe we have landed in the actual Luofu."
"Frankly, I wouldn't put anything past Herta. She's scary," Stelle says into her arms.
Dan Heng makes an annoyed sound. "Look up. Both of you." He grips his right wrist.
Stelle looks up.
Standing in the street, staring straight at them, is a man with long, white hair. He wears all black, and there is a sword at his hip.
"Oh, that’s never happened before," Stelle mutters.
"Who the hell are you three?" the stranger calls up at them. "What are you doing here? This area’s infested!"
"Um." March says. "We come in peace?"
"March."