Chapter Text
Zim glanced down at Dib, who was sleeping on his chest. He gently nudged him. Dib let out a “hm?”. “Hey there sleepy. I just wanted you to know that I’m about to leave.” Zim said, “Okay. Stay safe out there!” Dib replied, gently nuzzling Zim’s neck, letting out siren chirping noises despite not being in siren form.
“Alright. Bye, my Fishboy.” Zim smiled, intertwining its antennae with Dib’s scythe.
“Bye Spaceboy. Don’t do anything illegal. And make sure Gir doesn’t do stupid shit.” Dib advised, then giving it a kiss.
“Don’t worry, Dib-fish. I’ll make sure to not blow up people’s houses!!” Zim assured, then crawling out of bed and getting ready to leave the house.
•••
Zim was on his way back home from getting some of his snacks. Gir munched on some chips, specifically those weird ones it liked.
“Want one master?” It asked, offering one of the chips to Zim. “No Gir. I’m good.” Zim insisted, “Come on Master! Please??” Gir begged, “No.” Zim said before the voot’s computer began blaring a “crash landing” warning.
Zim and Gir let out screams as they fell onto the rocky surface, the voot soon it the ground with a bang.
“What the hell Gir?!” Zim snapped as he stepped out of the voot, angrily glancing at his sir unit. “Sorry Master…” Gir apologized with a frown.
Zim kicked at a spot on the rocky ground, wishing it wasn’t tangled up in this mess.
“Nothing but a dirty, revolting and rocky planet.” Zim commented with a grumble as Gir wandered off.
Zim stood there for a moment, until it heard Gir shout for it. “Master!!” Gir shouted, “What?!” Zim questioned in annoyed tone. “Look!!” Gir said, dragging xem by the hand.
“What is this?!” Zim gasped at the sight, beautiful floral vegetation?!
Vines, flowers, trees and greenery?!
Beautiful flowers,vines, and greenery surrounded xem.
“Maybe this place isn’t that bad.” Xe remarked, soon noticing a pond of greenish-yellow liquid right in front of xem. Zim glanced down at it, then spitting into it out of boredom.
Soon, the pond began to bubble. Zim glanced down at it in confusion, raising his eyebrow. “Huh?” He remarked, until something strange emerged from the pond.
Zim gasped, an Irken smeet???
“Papa!” The smeet smiled, “Pinch me Gir.” Zim demanded, turning to face Gir. Gir pinched him, Zim let out a yelp.
I’m a papa now?? Zim thought out of disbelief.
“Thank irk I’m NOT in rest mode.” Zim remarked, then noticing a swarm of single celled aliens rise from the strange liquid.
Zim grasped its smeet, “No one harms the offspring of Zim!! NO ONE.” Zim proclaimed, snatching its newly created smeet from the blob of single celled aliens.
“Welp. I guess I’m a parent now.” Zim said as xe held the small smeet in his hands.
“Papa!” The smeet squeaked, Zim couldn’t help but smile.
The smeet let out babbles as the two headed back to the voot, “IMA BIG BROTHA NOW!!!” Gir smiled, holding the smeet, then attempting to eat them.
“DO NOT EAT THEM GIR!” Zim shouted, snatching xyr smeet away from xyr robot as the two climbed back inside.
Zim wrapped his smeet in Dib’s hoodie, allowing them curl up on his lap and fall asleep .
•••
Dib jolted up from his sleep, being awoken by the sound of someone knocking on his door.
He groggily sat up, “Who is it?” He asked lethargically. “It’s just me, son.” Professor Membrane said.
“Come in.” Dib grumbled, then taking a sip from the glass of water bedside their bed.
Professor Membrane walked inside, “I just came in here to tell you that Skool’s closed down for renovations. It won’t be back open until next semester. Early summer break for you!” Professor said.
Dib spat out their water, “Wow. That’s crazy.” They remarked. Professor Membrane nodded in agreement.
“Anyway, me and Clembrane have got to go get ready for that important business trip-“ Professor Membrane said, then leaving the room.
“Wow.. early summer break…” Dib remarked, shocked.
•••
Zim made it back to Earth, landing the voot inside the rooftop before hopping off the roof and onto the walkway.
Zim kicked down the front door, waking up Dib, who had been mumbling about ghosts in his sleep. While in siren form.
Dib had went for a swim earlier, and somehow managed to get back home.
Dib was dazed and confused at first, putting on his glasses.
“YOU’RE A FATHER NOW DIIIIB!!!” Zim proclaimed, placing the smeet beside them. “WHAT-“ Dib replied, “How the fuck did we have a baby?! We’ve never- you know! And- “ Dib tried to say before they were interrupted by Zim.
“Zim didn’t “have” the smeet.” Zim clarified, “Then. Whose child did you steal?!” Dib asked.
“Zim stole no smeet!” Zim began, “I created them out of my dna. By accident. After spitting into some weird pond.” Zim finished.
“Oh. I was a bit worried there for a moment.” Dib mumbled, then picking up the smeet.
“Do they have a name?” Dib asked, “Yes! It is Zim! Zim jr!” Zim smiled, “Zim. There’s no way I’m calling the baby that… how about something different. Like Seven! We could call them Sev for short.” Dib proposed.
Zim stood there, gathering his thoughts.
“You know.. that is actually a nice name. Their name is Seven now!” Zim smiled, then taking a seat on the couch beside Dib.
Dib placed Seven on the sofa.
“That’s your Dad. He’s stinky.” Zim purred, “Dada!” Seven babbled, crawling towards Dib. Dib couldn’t help but feel their heart melt at the sight, picking the smeet up and placing them on their chest and letting out purrs.
Dib gently stroked them as he held them in his arms, Zim flattened his antennae, his spooch melting at the sight.
Skoodge was in the basement, working on a lego set. He was adding some small pieces until he heard Zim and Dib shouting upstairs. “Huh?” He questioned, going upstairs to see what all the commotion was about.
Skoodge rushed upstairs, only to see Dib cuddling a irken smeet to their chest, gently kissing the top of its head and Zim smiling at them.
Zim noticed Skoodge before Skoodge could say anything. “Hi Skoodge!!! You’re an uncle now!!” Zim smiled, “Where did you get the smeet from?” Skoodge asked, “I accidentally made them out of my dna when I was exploring this nearby planet.” Zim explained.
“Aw. Such a cute little guy.” Skoodge smiled, “May I hold them?” He asked, “Sure.” Dib said, handing Seven to Skoodge.
“Uncle Skoodgey!” Seven squeaked, “Yes!” Skoodge smiled, hugging the smeet.
“We should probably make a disguise for them.” Zim suggested, Dib and Skoodge nodded in agreement. “I KNOW!!!!” Gir smiled, whipping out a scene wig from out of nowhere.
Zim examined it, “Yeah this should work.” Zim confirmed, Skoodge handed Seven to Zim.
“Hold still now.” Zim said, putting the black and blue scene wig on Seven.
“Aw. Such a fashionable smeet!” Skoodge remarked, “Yep. Just like Zim.” Dib smiled.
“How about we go show the Dib-sister and Tak-smell, eh?” Zim said, “Sounds good. As soon as I get dry.” Dib grumbled.
•••
Zim, Skoodge and Dib walked out of Zim’s base, and made their way to the Membrane house.
Zim held Seven in his arms, Dib, Gir and Skoodge followed.
Gaz, and Tak sat on the couch, Professor Membrane stood in the kitchen.
Zim opened the front door, “Hello Earth stinky’s!! Me and the Dib have someone we’d like you to meet!” Zim proclaimed, Dib standing by him with a smile.
Zim held up Seven Lion King style, “Everyone, meet me and Dib’s smeet, Seven. Or otherwise, Sev!” Zim announced as Sev let out a squeak. Professor Membrane spat out his coffee.
“YOU GUYS-“ He shouted before being interrupted by Dib, “Dad. It’s fine. Zim created Seven out of his dna by accident. We don’t do that kind of stuff. We know not too. I don’t even think Zim knows about that stuff if I’m being honest.” Dib interjected.
“Oh- thank god.” Professor Membrane sighed of relief, “Wow. I never thought Zim and Dib of all people would ever become parents.” Tak remarked, Dib snatched Seven from Zim’s hands, showing them to Gaz and Tak.
Gaz’s expression softened at the sight of the smeet, “Uh- hi I’m your aunt Gaz. And that’s your aunt Tak.” She said, trying to hide her softness, carefully taking the smeet out of Dib’s hands.
Seven let out a purr as Gaz scratched their chin, the two had to stop themselves from letting out an “aw”.
“I think they like you, Gaz.” Tak commented, “I think they do too.” Gaz agreed, handing Seven back to Dib.
“No teaching them swear words, ‘Kay?” Dib directed, giving Gaz a death stare, “‘Kay.” Gaz replied.
Professor Membrane glanced at Zim and Dib. “You understand that children are a big responsibility, right?” He said, Zim and Dib nodded in agreement.
“Yeah. We know.” Dib replied, “If you need help, feel free to call me.” Professor Membrane said, “Thanks Dad.” Dib replied.
“May I hold them?” Professor Membrane asked, “Sure.” Dib answered with a smile, handing Seven to Professor Membrane.
“Grandad!” Seven squeaked, “Yes.” Professor Membrane smiled, petting Seven’s head.
Clembrane then came zooming into the room
“What’s goin’ on in here?” He asked, Dib glanced at him, “Hey Dad. You’re a grandpa now.” Dib smiled, Professor Membrane then handing Seven to Clembrane.
“You’re just a cute baby.” He cooed, tickling Seven’s stomach, then handing them back to Dib.
“Well anyway, I’ve got to get going. See you! No partying!” Professor Membrane declared, taking his bags, Clembrane following him.
“Welp. What should we do now?” Zim asked, turning to face the others.
“Let’s go find Keef and Tenn.” Skoodge suggested, “And get Sev something to wear so they aren’t walking around naked.” Dib adds, glancing at Seven who playfully biting his fingers.
“I think I have something that Seven can wear.” Dib smiled, taking Seven upstairs to his room.
Dib placed Seven on their bed, grabbing a shirt from their closet. “This was mine, but now, I want you to have it.” Dib smiled, handing Seven their old frowning face shirt.
Dib carefully put on the shirt, “There.” He smiled, holding Seven up in the air. Dib then grabbed something else, one of his old baby blankets, it had different kinds of moths on it. “And this too.” He purred, wrapping Seven in the blanket before taking them back downstairs.
Dib held a bundled up Seven in his arms as he walked downstairs, “Now we can go.” Dib said, “Alright then.” Zim replied, the group heading out the door.
Dib had Seven glued to his chest, “Wow. They’re adjusting to being a parent quite nicely.” Tak remarked, “Yeah. I guess they learned how to care for children when we used to play with dolls.” Gaz figured.
“I remember that I basically had to beg him to play with me.” Gaz recalled, memories soon rushing back.
“Please play with me!!”
“No. Go play on your own.”
“Pleeease big brother??”
“Ugg. Fine.”
“Wow.” Was all Tak said.
Soon, the group arrived at the local ice cream shop. “Oh! Hi guys!” Tenn greeted, noticing the rest of the group, Keef just waved.
“Hi Tenn.” Zim greeted, sitting down at the table, Dib still having Seven close to their chest.
Tenn couldn’t believe her eyes, “Is that a smeet?” It asked, purr’s eyes widening in curiosity.
“Mhm.” Dib smiled softly, pulling Seven away from his chest and showing them to Tenn.
Keef and Tenn started gushing, “Where did you eat them from?” Keef asked, “Zim stole them.” Tak joked, “No i didn’t!” Zim snapped, “I created them out of my dna at some weird pond on this weird planet.” Zim explained.
“Wow!” Keef gasped, Zim nodded in agreement, soon getting up to order some ice cream.
Zim soon came back with some ice cream, placing it on the table. Seven’s eyes widened cutely. “I got this one for them.” Zim smiled, Dib then grabbed the spoon and started to feed Seven.
Seven started munching on the strawberries, savoring the flavor. “Oh god.” Dib remarked, “Hopefully you don’t get unhealthy obsession with strawberries.” He said.
“Hey!” Zim scoffed, pretending to be offended.
The group then started chitchatting about random things, meanwhile Dib still held Seven close, letting out little purrs.
“You know. We should get Dib a baby carrier or something like that.” Keef said, “Yeah!” Skoodge agreed.
“I think I have one I used to use for my dolls somewhere.” Gaz chimed in. “Nah. I’ll just make one myself. With a blanket.” Dib said.
“I’m surprised at how quickly you adjusted to being a Dad.” Tak commented, “Me too. But then again, I’ve always kind of liked the idea of being a parent. Like adopting a kid. Not carrying a child. That makes me extremely uncomfortable.” Dib replied, nearly vomiting at the sheer thought of that.
“What should we do after this? I mean skool’s out so we don’t have to worry about that.” Tenn asked, “Maybe go on a chaotic road trip.” Zim joked.
“You know, that does sound kind of nice actually. Just all of us on some crazy road trip.” Tenn replied. “Well then, how about we do it? It’s not like my Dad’s home. And Keef’s family is still on that business trip.” Dib proposed.
“Yeah!!” Keef chimed in.
The group got up from their seats, leaving the ice cream shop and heading to their homes and bases to pack.
•••
Zim sat on Dib’s bed as he watched them pack, Dib was throwing a bunch of things into their suitcase as Zim held Seven.
“Dib. Why are you packing so much??” Zim asked, “I just like being prepared. Plus I’ve got to make sure Seven has plenty of things.” Dib answered.
Zim got a message for everyone in the group chat, telling it that they were ready to go.
“Hurry up Dib-thing!” Zim nagged, “Alright! I’m done.” Dib replied, zipping up their suitcase.
Soon, Dib and Zim headed out the door, Seven cuddled up against Zim.
Off we go!