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Hi, Derek here. Different format, I know, but we’re gonna have a bit of a time skip and I feel like someone should catch you up to speed with what’s been going on in our lives. And that someone better be me, because Titch would just bore you with work details (nobody cares how many aubergines we’ve sold and how we upgraded our irrigation systems, love), Janae will leave out all social events because he either didn’t attend them or wouldn’t deem them important enough anyway and Johnny… Do you guys want a full chapter about how Priscilla is beautiful but also kind of a bitch but really, really sweet too, but she says such insensitive things at times and-
Well, no, probably not. So it’s up to me, Derek, your assistant and writer (?) to give you a summary.
Now obviously, I have my priorities as well. Somehow, Titch and I are still dating Sam. Somehow, we haven’t broken up with either each other or with Sam over this weird throuple thing we’ve got going on. I’ve been in non-monogamous relationships before, I know they can work – at least for a while, but so far, all of my monogamous relationships have ended in tears as well, so I don’t blame being polyam for that – but I didn’t really expect Titch to be so on board with this. It hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows though. Sam is very much… I don’t know how else to put this… a guy. He's hot, for sure, especially when he’s in his uniform, being confident and a little authoritative (god my boyfriends are my boss and a police officer. Maybe I need therapy), but he’s also the kind of guy to wear sweatpants and old T-shirts whenever he’s off duty, drinking beer from a can and yelling at the telly because whatever football team he’s a fan of isn’t winning. It’s not like he’s swapping football teams, by the way. I’m just being a dick about this. He's originally from Manchester, go figure. Anyway, Titch has joined in on the yelling at the telly (I’m not sure if he really cares about Man United or just likes yelling) and I feel like a disillusioned housewife, putting the dishes away while the men are doing their man-things. But hey, I get to have two boyfriends so what am I even complaining about?
What else has been going on over the past six months? Janae and his friends have signed up for some kind of robot fight competition, so they spend a lot of time in the barn right now, working on their robot. I’m not entirely sure about their dynamic – I feel like Janae could win this one on his own – but from what I’ve seen and heard, I think Janae is the engineer, Peter the visionary and Julian the marketing guy, haha. Peter’s visions seem to come in the form of “what if the robot had a huge shark head that would eat the other robots?” which prompts Julian to draw a shark-logo that they could print on a shirt while Janae tries to explain to them that “a huge shark head” is very inefficient because they have size limits for the competition. It’s really cool to see them work together like this though. The competition is in September, I think? So they have about two or three months left to finish their robot. I have a feeling it’s gonna be awesome, but maybe I’m just being a dad.
Something less awesome about being a dad is seeing Johnny sad. He and Priscilla have… well, I suppose the average teenage relationship. They’re so in love, or at least Johnny is. Not saying Priscilla isn’t into him, but Johnny is just a very romantic guy. It’s cute, he writes her songs. He recently started learning how to play guitar, though I think he serenades her more in a spoken word kind of way, because apparently she has music-related trauma. Imagine that! But with big emotions come big fights and I know that’s part of being a teen and I know he’ll learn and grow and come out a stronger and more well-rounded person, but I really feel bad for him sometimes. He tends to blame himself a lot and just gets silent when they’re arguing over something. Therapy is helping, I can see, but therapy needs time. So I comfort him and try to lift him up, but he's gonna have to do most of the work himself, sadly.
Oh, there is good news about Johnny too: he’s been asked to play for the school football team next year. Now it’s not an amazing team by any means, the level of Olympia, which he already plays for, is way higher, but he still feels honoured that he’s been asked and didn’t have to try out. His PE teacher just really wanted him on the team. I think it’d also be good for him to meet some new friends, if I’m honest. Hugh and Inga are fun people, but whenever Johnny and Priscilla argue, they pick her side regardless. Within Olympia, he has a few lads he hangs out with, but none he really calls friends, so I hope the school team can help out there. The atmosphere is probably a little lower pressure, so that might help.
Talking about football and Olympia – the football season is over and James has decided that that means he can take a full month off. He’s taken Philip with him to New York, which sucks a little, workload-wise. Starting next week, though, there will be a temporary worker to fill in for him (for Philip, that is. Workload-wise, nobody misses James…). I hope they’ll be cool. I hope they’ll speak English, lol. James and Philip have only been gone for a few days and I’m already guarding my phone like it’s radioactive, so the boys don’t accidentally see some of the pictures Philip’s been sending me. Glad they’re having fun, I suppose.
Titch is stressed out, as always. Poor man. The new irrigation system (yes I’m talking about it anyway, but won’t bother you with the details) was very expensive and came with a bunch of complications, like big projects such as these always do. We started the replacements in early March to be ready for the summer, but the early spring is unpredictable so the whole thing froze over later in the month, before the safeguards for that were installed, or something. I’m not entirely sure what went wrong (I know a lot about plants, but don’t ask me about machinery) but I do know that Titch got very little sleep during the entirety of April while trying to salvage the project. We got it up and running just a few weeks ago, which is great because I have been hand-watering so many plants over the past few months. Now my love is stressed over the temporary worker, because the whole hiring process went through one of those job centres and Titch hasn’t met the guy (or girl?) yet. He’s also stressed because the anniversary of his father’s death is coming up, although he doesn't really talk about that. I caught him reading one of his dad's diaries a few days back and decided to just let him be for a moment while I walked the dogs. When I came back, he was in a better mood but there were also two empty beer bottles in the trash. Not enough to get worried about, but enough to know he’s struggling.
So… that’s what’s been happening with our family over the past half a year. Am I forgetting something? I guess myself! I’ve mostly just been doing my thing, but I have realised I spend a lot of time scrolling on my phone when I’m not working. I’ve tried a few other hobbies, like reading, cycling, drawing… but then I talked about it with Susan and she told me she had been crocheting a lot, which sounded fun. So now I bought some supplies and I’m really starting to get the hang of it! Susan has been sending me photos of her projects and I’m showing her my granny squares. It's not much, but it’s honest work, I suppose. I have a Pinterest board with things I wanna learn how to make, especially crochet flowers. They look so cool! It’s really getting me back into arts and crafts as well. I used to make a lot of little thingies as a kid, but haven’t done so in a while.
I think that was it! At least what comes to my mind for now. Next chapter is back to your regularly scheduled third-person narration! Bye bye!