Quarantine: Strider Edition
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don't just stand there and scream while the rodents loot the pantry, bro by quixxotique (crownlessliestheking)
Fandoms: Homestuck
13 May 2021
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Summary
“Wait,” Dave says, squinting. “Hold the front door over here, but like, not too open because we don’t want these lil shits getting in and eating all the walnuts we’ve got in here, too.”
“The only reason we have walnuts is for the jackpot, and if they can plan a heist to get them from inside, they more than deserve them,” Dirk tells him. Which? Is completely irrelevant, and the kid’s gotta let go of the whole ‘if they do crime and get the thing then they deserve it.’ Lalonde would call this a prime teaching moment, so Dave goes for it.
“Listen, it’s only deserved if they don’t get caught and if we don’t send them to, Christ, I don’t know. Squirrel jail or something.”
“You’re going to inflict horrors of the US prison-industrial complex on these poor animals?”
No squirrels were harmed in the writing of this fic.