minor background relationships between Hyunjin and others
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Summary
“I started to like myself when he died. I never could before. I would always have his voice in my head, saying I’m too much, I’m too sensitive, I need to grow some balls.” Hyunjin is panting now, and he feels so fucking good. “He said that I was weak for having any feelings besides anger; what he didn’t know was that I was angrier than him most of the time. I hated him with everything I am, and I still do, but it took so much energy to hate him that it started to morph into self-hatred. I started to believe him at some point, and obviously I still do believe him, but I don’t want to anymore.
“He’s had his claws in me for too long, Chan,” Hyunjin groans, and he watches as Chan licks his lips. “He’s dead, but I still feel him watching me. I hate it, but it’s there. It gets quiet sometimes, but when I get stressed, it all comes rushing back, and I feel like I need to leave everyone behind because I’m not good enough to be around them.”
“You are!” Chan protests, reaching out to cup Hyunjin’s jaw. His hand is so warm in the cool night air, so strong against his frail skin.
Maybe it’s strong enough to hold him up when he can’t do it himself.
Series
- Part 2 of The HyunChan Chronicals