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Summary
(read this in the movie announcer voice)
In a world. Where angels. And demons. Secretly coexist with humans. Accidents. Don't always happen accidentally.Dean Winchester was looking forward to his last year of high school when he found himself invited to a party being thrown by kids from the private school in town. A chance encounter with a pretty girl makes him the target of a jealous would be boyfriend but a cursed rabbit's foot turns what should have been a lethal encounter into the surprise of a life time.
Castiel expected to slip through his last year in private school quietly, like all his previous years of high school, but when he's invited to a house party and runs into a nameless omega his life takes a wild turn. He wakes up the next morning to discover he's half bonded to his soul mate and only has five days left to find them before his time runs out. There's just one problem he doesn't even know their name.
This Fall worlds collide in an epic Cinderella story: You're Not The One I Was Looking For.
(PS. If you're looking for a fic with an epic romance and declarations of undying love: This Is Not The Fic You Were Looking For!)
Series
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A/B/O: Adventures in Fake Science. by Hells Bartender (Firebog)
Fandoms: Unspecified Fandom
02 Aug 2016
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Summary
This is an attempt to bash weird porny a/b/o dynamics fiction over the head with science. Not that anyone asked for it.
So how the hell does a/b/o sex determination work? And why did a trinary sex determination system evolve in higher vertebrates alongside a binary sex determination system? Why aren't omega males dying in droves from massive uterine infections? Alpha females, what's up with that? Come on in and I shall tell you the very best in fake science and evolutionary history.
Part theorizing, part helpful guide. This one goes out to all you people who just want fictional worlds to make sense. I'm right there with you.
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Bad Television: Contrived Sitcoms and Cheesy Romcoms by Hells Bartender (Firebog)
Fandoms: Supernatural
06 Jul 2015
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Summary
As a joke I said a/b/o fics needed their own terrible tv/movies. These will be them. They will be terrible. But hopefully terrible in a so bad it's funny way.
This will slowly be filled with a series of unrelated one shots that are basically cliché romcoms, sitcoms, etc but with an a/b/o bent.
First fic: A cheesy romantic comedy about a beta who is boring and clumsy and an alpha/omega couple who think it's adorable.
(This is basically advanced world building for my fic You're Not The One I Was Looking For)
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"Too complicated." Cas muttered again. He shook his head then licked the suction cup on the base of a sky magenta dildo. He eyed the wall carefully before pressing it to the tile at just the right height. He went back to the bedroom and gathered up everything else he'd need. He carried his armful of fun back to the bathroom and set his items up on the shelf in the shower alongside the soap and shampoo.
Series
- Part 4 of Shameless Smut
Recent series
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Summary
Exactly What It Says On The Tin
- Words:
- 28,290
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 13
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This Is Not The Series You Were Looking For by Hells Bartender (Firebog)
Fandom: Supernatural
23 Feb 2017
Summary
An epic Trilogy in four parts about love, sex, growing up, and butt vaginas.
- Words:
- 222,130
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 37