QueenOfThePigeons
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It's Not Paranoia If They Are Really Out To Get You by QueenOfThePigeons
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Nov 2017
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Summary
All Harry wants is one quiet year at Hogwarts. Instead he has to jump around through memories to find out how to kill an evil magical dictator, is stalked by half of the female student body and has to somehow survive the unresolved romantic tension between his two best friends. And as if that isn't exhausting enough already Draco Malfoy decides that he needs a redemption arc. Actually, Harry doesn't mind that part that much.
Or what could have been if Draco Malfoy had asked for help at the beginning of their sixth year.
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Arthur could see his father glaring down - face red and eyes narrowed as he looked at Merlin with clear distaste.
"Once this over, sorcerer...I’ll burn you."
"You’ve already tried that," Merlin’s voice answered and Arthur had to bite his fist to keep from making any noise. “You need to accept you can’t kill me… Hand me that blanket, please.”
“I’m sure there must be some method… Beheading?”
“No, we tried that.”
“Hanging?”
“I just sort of... Swung there, remember?”
There was another pause.
“I should have made you keep that dragon below the castle so I could feed you to it.”
“Kilgharrah? He won’t eat me, but if you want to torture me than making me listen to his nonsense for an hour might do it.” Merlin said and there was a soft sigh from the other end of the room. “I’m glad you agreed to help me though. Usually I have to do the grunt work of saving Arthur myself.”
“I can’t wait to kill you.”
Or
Uther finds out about Merlin’s magic, but can’t seem to kill him. Merlin is just trying to protect Arthur. They become a begrudgingly effective duo. Arthur doesn't understand why they think he isn't noticing this.
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,728
- Chapters:
- 2/2
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- 632
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Bookmarked by QueenOfThePigeons
23 Feb 2020
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Summary
Now that the Calamity is gone, Link and Sidon try being a decent elf-shark couple. Zelda tries to figure out what to do next in life. Meanwhile, there’s suddenly a bunch of zora popping out of the sea, and they’re kind of assholes.
Series
- Part 2 of Breath of the Wild - FFS
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 112,429
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 559
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- 1,820
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- 315
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- 33,809
Bookmarked by QueenOfThePigeons
03 Jun 2019
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Bookmarker's Notes
Much plot, absolutely amazing