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“Okay you need me to buy ALL the bottles of Nellie & Joe's Key Lime Juice?” Stiles says to Scott with raised brows.

“Yeah, or at least $40 worth,” he says apologetically, handing over two twenties to Stiles. “One bottle will get us through the day, but the more the better.”

Stiles tucks the money into his pocket. “Okay man, you know I'm going to get a reputation around this town if I keep buying them out of various items,” he says with a pointed look.

Scott laughs, patting the top of the jeep. “I think you already have one from your dad!”

Stiles just rolls his eyes, throwing his jeep into reverse and tossing a wave and a ‘later’ out before driving away.

He's been back in Beacon Hills for two months now and every week Scott's called him up to ask for a favor. Namely to pick up some item they've run out of at Alison’s restaurant. Being the best friend he is and not yet working, he fulfills his friend’s requests while accumulating various side-eyes and dirty looks when he buys out all of one item. (Hey, you snooze you lose grandma. And no, he did not really push her out of the way for the last bunches of cilantro thank you very much! He tripped and well what do you know, they were under his hand so he might as well take them.)

So far he's bought Hale’s Grocery out of all the jalapeños, cilantro, the domestic Parmigiano cheese, and the half-and-half. Looks like he's adding key lime juice to the list now he thinks cheerfully.

*****

When Stiles wheels into the parking lot, he double checks to make sure Scott hasn't sent any more requests. Turning around for onions twice has taught him this tearful lesson. (Ha! Get it? ‘Cause onions make you cry.) Stiles smirked to himself at this thought while walking across the parking lot.

Strolling in, Stiles snags a small cart at the door before proceeding into the produce area. After only locating the little squeeze bottles of lime juice, he stands there with his hands on his hips trying to figure out where else they might be kept. A noise from behind him has him turning and he finds the really hot grumpy store associate with strangely expressive eyebrows putting bananas out on display.

“Hey, really helpful guy who always seems to be around when I need help, can you tell me where I can find the Nellie & Joe's Key Lime juice?” Stiles calls out cheerfully.

Mr. Grumpy stops unloading the bananas and looks at him. “You again? All I have here is the small squeeze bottles of lime juice. If we have any, it's probably with the other juice,” he suggests flatly.

“Okay, thanks,” Stiles says in amusement, watching the man's eyebrows in fascination.

The store clerk scowls at him before returning back to his bananas.

With a laugh, Stiles turns around to check out the juice aisle. Once there, he takes a pic and sends it off to Scott for confirmation of correct product. (Scott still gives him grief about the twenty cans of sardines he bought instead of anchovies.) After confirmation is received, Stiles goes to town loading up his cart.

“You again?” a female voice snarks out from the end of the aisle.

Stiles startles and nearly drops the bottle of juice. “Oh hey, Mr. Grumpy’s grumpy sister,” Stiles calls out cheerfully, making sure to place the shopping cart between him and the approaching woman.

“Very funny, little Stilinski,” the older woman says flatly. “Let me guess, Scott’s making key lime pie,” she continues.

“Yup,” Stiles says with a pop of the word. “You should stop by and try some out. Especially since you seem to supply most of the ingredients these days,” he says with a smirk.

Laura snorts at the man. “Tell me about it,” she grumbles. “Someone needs to teach that man how to place a proper order. Our other customers get pissed when we’re out of things because of you. They’re starting to complain about barring you.”

Stiles sputters at this. “What! No fair! We’re paying customers too!” he protests.

“Yeah, but old Mrs.Williams has about sixty years on you and drives an old steel boat built like a battering ram. No offense, but she wins,” Laura says dryly.

Stiles makes a face. “Good point,” he admits grudgingly, making a face.

“Here,” Laura says, dropping the box onto the top of Stiles cart. “Wheel this over to Peter,” she instructs Stiles.

Stiles gapes at her. “Umm...how about not. Mr. Bad-touch is a no-no,” Stiles tells the woman, not caring if Peter is her uncle.

Laura smirks back at the man. “Mrs. Williams’ battering ram,” she threatens sweetly.

Stiles stands there like a goldfish. “Fine!” he declares, “But only because I just got Roscoe back from the shop,” he grumps to her.

Laura just snorts and rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Peter’s waiting for you. Don’t drop it or you buy it,” she huffs before turning around and stalking away.

Stiles warily eyes the box before carefully wheeling around with his little cart. “Mrs. Williams’ battering ram, my ass,” he mutters under his breath as he goes hunting down Mr. Bad-touch.

~~~~~

“So man, I think I need hazard pay,” Stiles tells Scott.

Scott raises his eyebrows at this, carefully pouring the pie filling into its crust. “Why is that?” he asks distractedly.

“Your inability to place a proper order is leading to the fine elderly citizens of Beacon Hills demanding for my expulsion from Hale’s grocery,” he says, reaching over to swipe his finger through the pie filling on the edge of the bowl that Scott is trying to swat him (unsuccessfully) away from.

Scott looks up with a laugh at this comment. Stiles sucks the key lime filling off his finger with a moan. “Seriously, Laura says Mrs. Williams’ is threatening to take out a hit on Roscoe if you continue to send me out for mass quantities of anything. I just got my baby back from the shop, man, I can’t afford another repair bill at least until I get a paying job,” he whines. “Plus,” he continues, “Laura made me interact with Mr. Bad-touch himself today and that in itself deserves hazard pay for my mental health,” Stiles declares with a grimace.

Scott shakes his head at his best friend’s ridiculousness. “Dude, I think you’re just imagining things. Peter’s always been perfectly normal when I’ve talked to him,” he says as he jiggles the pies to get any air pockets out.

Stiles side-eyes Scott. “That’s because he doesn’t want in your pants, buddy,” he says dryly. “Also, everyone in town knows that Alison has a claim on you. I mean, I think if I had a crazy significant other who shot a rival of their affections with a bow and arrow I’d be safe from him too,” he says pointedly.

“Oh my God, Stiles, it was an accident!” Scott says blushing. “She didn’t mean to hit Isaac, she was startled...and lost her grip,” he continues lamely. “It could have happened to anyone,” he protests.

“Uh huh, whatever you gotta believe to help yourself sleep at night, buddy,” Stiles says clapping the man on his shoulder.

Scott shoots him a wounded look and Stiles stares back. “Olympic level archer,” he deadpans, crossing his arms.

Scott winces and rubs his jaw avoiding eye contact.

~~~~~

Scott manages to make it nine whole days before having to ask Stiles to run to Hale’s for him. Stiles thinks it’s progress.

Today’s mission is pink Himalayan salt according to Alison. But a specific brand apparently in a specific colored box. Stiles scoffs at this request. As Stiles starts to stroll through by the produce section Derek turns around, surprised the annoying man isn’t asking him where something is. (Seriously, he grew up in this town, how does he not know the grocery layout, Derek thinks with an internal eye roll.)

Stiles twirls his keys one last time before catching them and tossing out a jaunty wave. “Pink Himalayan salt,” he calls out and the three other patrons shopping in produce turn to stare at him. “Mrs. Williams’ good to see you,” he says with a cheeky grin and the old woman harumps before turning back to her Granny Smith apples.

Derek bites his tongue so he doesn’t laugh out loud. No need to encourage the man, he thinks.

In the seasoning/baking section, Stiles stands there and stares at the various salts, a headache forming because of course it’s not that easy. When he goes to turn around to ask for help he nearly runs into Peter. “Jesus, wear a bell,” he squawks out in alarm as his arms flail out and he smacks the shelf.

“Stiles, always lovely to see you,” the older man purrs out with a leer.

Stiles stifles the shudder that runs down his spine. “Peter,” he says with a frown. “What are you doing here? And by here, I mean right here, specifically in this spot at this time,” he snarks out.

Peter smirks at the young man. “Why I was just walking by and thought you looked like you could use some help. So here I am. To help,” he says innocently.

“Right. To help,” Stiles says flatly in disbelief.

“Now, Stiles, don’t you believe me?” the older man continues stepping closer.

Stiles catches himself from stepping back. Must not show weakness he thinks to himself grimly. “No.”

Peter throws his head back and laughs and Stiles subtly tries to inch back a little. (Hey, an inch does not equate to a step and therefore is not considered neither as a retreat nor a weakness dammit!)

“Peter, what are you doing?” Stiles asks looking down at the man’s hand now resting lightly on his arm.

“Oh sorry, it slipped. My bad,” the man says innocently, pulling it back with a slow drag.

Stiles snorts at this, rolling his eyes. “Peter, I dated your daughter, Malia. For two years in high school in fact,” he says in exasperation at the man’s antics.

“And now you’re not,” the man points out, innocently.

“Oh my God, you are so ridiculous,” Stiles mutters under his breath.

Peter chuckles at this. “Seriously, though, you did look like you needed help. What are you looking for?”

Stiles eyes the man suspiciously and Peter looks back at him in wait. “Pink Himalayan salt, but a specific brand,” Stiles shares reluctantly. He reaches into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. Going into his texts he pulls up the image Scott has sent him.

“Hmm...Sherpa Pink,” Peter murmurs, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I believe I just sold the last bag to...Mrs. Williams’ earlier this week,” Peter smirks.

Stiles does a double-take at the man. “Oh very funny, har har,” he snarks back with a huff. “Any idea where I can get this stuff? Allie needs it for cooking, she’s almost out.”

Peter smiles back at him and Stiles braces himself. “Sure,” the man says, “for a price.”

“No, nope, nu-uh” Stiles says. “Not gonna happen. I’m gonna just shut you down right now,” he tells the older man.

“What? That’s presumptuous of you,” Peter mocks him.

“It’s smart,” Stiles stresses back stubbornly.

“Hmm…” Peter hums back.

“Seriously, you’re not going to tell me?” Stiles squawks at him.

Peter raises his eyebrows back.

“Ugh, fine. What do you want from me?” he grumbles out.

“Go out with my nephew,” the older man states bluntly.

Stiles rolls his eyes. “Oh my God, Peter. Fine, I’ll go out with yo— Wait, what?!” Stiles stammers in confusion.

Peter rolls his eyes. “Go out with Derek, you idiot. Jesus, you dated my daughter for 2 years,” he says with distaste, wrinkling his nose. “Unless you have a daddy kink,” he eyes Stiles speculatively and Stiles’ eyes widen in horror.

“Nope! No kink!” he blurts out, crossing his arms in front of him in an x-pattern. “I’m good! So good! Thanks, no thanks!”

Peter snorts at this.

“Er...why do you need me to go out with Sour Patch?” Stiles asks in confusion.

“Because I’m tired of all the pining,” Peter says disgustedly. “My God, the puppy eyes alone every time Kate Argent walks into the store,” Peter snipes.

Stiles raises his brows at this. “Kate Argent?”

Peter sniffs. “Oh that’s right, you were still away at college. Damn bitch broke my nephew’s heart,” Peter says flatly. “I’m fine with that part, the boy could use someone better to be mooning over. What I can’t stand is all the puppy eyes and heartfelt sighs the man gives. Yesterday, he dropped a whole pallet of watermelons on the floor when she walked by. Do you have any idea how much money that cost us?” he demands angrily and Stiles holds up his hands in defense.

“Okay, so Sour Patch has a girl problem. Still not seeing how that requires my help,” Stiles says. “Last time I checked, I’m not a girl.”

Peter opens his mouth and Stiles cuts him off. “Dressing in drag for Halloween back in senior year does not count,” he insists pointing a finger at Peter.

Peter raises his brow at this denial. “Whatever you say,” he murmurs.

Stiles narrows his eyes at the man. “Tell me where the salt is,” he demands.

“Tell me you’ll go out with Derek,” he mocks back.

Stiles puts his hands on his hips. “I don’t believe it’s as bad as you say. How do I know you’re not being your usual weird dramatic self?” he demands.

Peter throws him a dirty look. “Fine, you want proof, be here tomorrow at lunch time. Kate will be by to pick up Chris’ lunch from the deli,” he says.

“Umm...the salt? I need the salt now, not tomorrow,” Stiles stresses.

“I’ll tell you where to buy it, but you better be here tomorrow and if it’s as bad as I say you have to go out with him,” Peter says.

“Fine, now the salt,” Stiles says aggrieved.

After Peter tells him two places he can check he looks back at the man. “So how do you know I won’t just go get the salt and not show up?” Stiles asks the man.

Peter smiles back. “Two things,” he says holding up his fingers. “Mrs. Williams,” he puts his pointer finger down and leaves his middle one up, “and a life-time ban from Hale’s,” he says with a smirk.

Stiles stands there with his mouth hanging open. “Seriously! What is with you people and using Mrs. Williams’ as a weapon and banning me from this store,” he demands.

Peter shrugs, “Great minds think alike and all,” he says with a wave of his hand.

“Tomorrow at noon, Stiles or I call Mrs. Williams,” he threatens before walking off.

~~~~~

“Oh my God,” Stiles moans from behind his hands. “It’s like a train wreck,” he says horrified as him and Peter watches Derek squash a tomato in his hands when Kate gives him a finger wave and strolls out of the store. “I am legit embarrassed for this guy, and nothing embarrasses me. Just ask my dad!” he exclaims shaking his head.

Peter stares grimly at his nephew, shaking his head in disgust.

“So, will you help me?” he asks, turning to look at Stiles with a raised brow.

“Man, I don’t know what I can do,” Stiles admits. “This is pretty depressing. And humiliating,” he tacks on when Derek looks down in confusion at his hands.

“I’ll give you first dibs on Talia’s donuts every Saturday morning,” the older man states.

Stiles blinks at him in surprise. “The coconut ones, with fresh coconut shavings, sprinkled all over them?” he asks hopefully.

Peter nods his head and Stiles looks forlornly between Derek and the bakery counter.

“Fresh,” Peter says enticingly.

Stiles groans, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Fine,” he sighs out. He looks back at Peter. “First dibs on the coconut ones for sale,” he emphasizes, “not the rejects. Though you may give those to me as well,” he says primly.

Peter snorts at the guy in amusement, crossing his arms and turning to Stiles.

“Say it back, Peter,” Stiles insists, “or no deal.”

“Fine,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “First dibs on Talia’s fresh coconut donuts every Saturday morning. No rejects, only the good ones, though you will accept the rejected as a bonus.” Peter smirks at this point.

“Ha ha,” Stiles deadpans. “Let me know when and where I need to be,” he says looking at his phone. “I still need to go and pay for these bananas and deliver them to Scotty,”

When Stiles leaves to go deliver his bananas, throwing out a, “See you later, Sour Patch!” as he walks out the door, Talia joins Peter. “So did he go for it?” she asks looking at a flustered Derek restocking the rest of the tomatoes.

Peter smirks. “Of course, I told you I would deliver.”

Talia holds her hand out for a subtle fist bump and Peter obliges.

“Thank God,” she mutters under her breath. “This kid is costing me a small fortune.”

~~~~~

It takes Stiles another three days before he can meet up with Peter. Scott has him running out of town for Salata Ricotta and the nearest place that has it in stock is 45 minutes away.

When Peter comes strolling into the local bookstore, Turn of the Page, Stiles quickly rethinks his agreement. He’s still unsure of how he’ll get Derek to stop pining. He's pretty positive a date with himself won't solve the problem. Maybe set him up with someone else?

“No, Stiles,” Peter says dryly. “Do you even have friends outside of Scott and Alison?” the older man asks.

Stiles opens his mouth to protest and then shuts it. “I have friends,” he mutters, “It’s just that most of them are guys.”

Peter raises his brows at this. “Well by all means then proceed,” he says. “My nephew is bi-sexual so if you have somebody in mind, then use them instead.”

Stiles gapes at Peter. “Wait, Sour Patch is bi? How did I not know this?” he demands.

Peter snorts at him. “Have you ever asked? Besides, someone’s sexuality isn’t anyone’s business but that person and the person they are in a relationship with,” he comments coolly.

Stiles raises his hands in defense. “I meant no harm,” he says. “In fact, I agree wholeheartedly, I just never got that vibe off of him,” he says with a shrug.

“Oh, and you’d know this how?” Peter asks silkily.

Stiles looks at the man, “Maybe because I’m bi- myself,” he deadpans.

Peter gives him a smug look and Stiles eyes the man suddenly cautious. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he questions and Peter’s face smooths away.

“Like what?” he asks innocently.

“Like that,” Stiles says with a gesture. “Not now, now you look different. But just a minute ago,” he says with a frown.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Stiles,” Peter continues smoothly. “You must be imagining things.”

“Uh-huh. Right. Me imagining things, around you,” he says doubtfully.

Peter just gives him an enigmatic smile.

~~~~~

Stiles thinks Isaac is a good place to start. Yeah, there was that incident with Alison and the arrow, but everyone’s past that already. Or at least he hopes they are. And besides he’s setting the man up on a date with Derek, not Scott, so it should all be good.

“No,” Isaac says flatly.

“But why not?” Stiles asks.

“Crazy Kate,” Isaac says. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”

Stiles looks at the guy. “You totally were hitting on Scott!” he crows pointing at the guy. “I knew it!”

Isaac blushes at this and hunches down into himself a little, carefully looking around. “Shh...are you trying to get me killed?” he hisses as Stiles.

“Ha! I told Scott, but did he listen. Nooo!” Stiles keeps on, and Isaac groans into the table where he’s knocking his head against it.

~~~~~

Peter’s standing there next to Stiles pursing his lips with arms crossed looking at the trainwreck happening over in the avocado area.

His nephew looks constipated, (Derek’s version of confused), and Isaac Lahey looks like he’s trying to become one with the salad wall as Kate Argent bears down on them like a barracuda missile.

Stiles pinches his nose in frustration while Peter stands there with raised brow judging him.

~~~~~

The next person on Stiles list is a young woman by the name of Paige. She’s his favorite person over at Turn of the Page and Stiles has it on good authority that Paige is attracted to Derek. (If all those dreamy sighs say otherwise he’ll use the cheap wax on Roscoe. No he won’t, but you catch his drift.)

“Paige, old buddy old pal,” Stiles calls out cheerfully Thursday morning when he comes waltzing into Turn of the Page. “Watcha’ doing?” he asks as he slides up to the counter and flicks a tassel attached to a bookmark on display.

“Stiles,” the young woman says with amusement at his antics. “We really don’t carry ‘1001 Ways to Tell if Your Neighbor is A Witch’ she says immediately and Stiles gives her a squinty look. Paige shrugs, “Just thought I’d get that out of the way.”

“Fair enough,” Stiles concedes, “Though you really should carry it. Especially in this town. Pretty sure Mrs. Williams is a witch,” he mutters under his breath. “Anyways,” he drawls out, “I was wondering if you were available to go out this Thursday?”

Paige looks at him. “Umm...with you?” she asks skeptically.

Stiles looks at her, a little offended at her response. “No, with Derek Hale,” he sputters.

Paige lights up at this suggestion. “Derek Hale?”

~~~~~

Stiles stands there mentally patting himself on his back for a job well done while munching on a coconut donut.

“Well,” Peter says grudgingly, “it looks like you did it.”

Stiles garbled out a response, and Peter frowns in disgust as flakes of coconut shoot out of Stiles’ mouth. “Here have some coffee,” the man says dryly when Stiles begins choking on the donut he’s shoved into his mouth.

Stiles takes a big swig of the coffee, slurping up any that’s caught in the rim. Peter is staring at him in wide-eyed horrified fascination and Stiles frowns back.

“What?” he demands, wiping up any remaining donut residue from his lips and licking his thumb clean.

“It’s amazing you’ve managed to survive this long,” Peter says in wonder. “However have you not managed to choke to death or been beaten into a pulp over your appalling eating habits is astonishing,” the man continues, flicking a piece of coconut at Stiles’ face.

Stiles frowns back at the older man and stuffs another delciousyummycoconutdelight! into his mouth.

~~~~~

When Stiles comes strolling into Hale’s Grocery two Saturdays later, Peter meets him at the door.

“Stiles…” the older man says with a frown.

“Peter…” Stiles replies dryly with a raised brow, nudging Derek’s uncle out of his way with his shopping cart.

Peter frowns harder at the man. “It didn’t work,” he states flatly following Stiles over to the apples.

“What didn’t work?” Stiles asks absent-mindedly, eyeing the prices and trying to figure out if he wants to go with individual or bagged apples.

“Paige,” Peter says, “ she didn’t work ,” he stresses, hoping to get Stiles’ attention.

“Okay,” Stiles says, pursuing the list he’s made, pausing to check off the apples after selecting a bag and adding it to his cart. “And why does this matter to me?”

“Because we had a deal,” Peter says through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, and I upheld my part,” Stiles says moving on to the salad. “Whatever Derek did or didn’t do afterward is on him, man.”

Stiles browses the different options and chooses the baby spinach with kale. His dad may not be a fan, but his heart will thank him in the long run, he mutters grimly to himself as he tosses it into his basket. When Stiles goes to wheel around he bumps up against an irritated Peter.

“Seriously man, what’s your problem?” Stiles says in exasperation.

“My problem is that instead of fixing the original issue and everyone living happily ever after, we now have a new issue,” he says irritably.

“New issue?” Stiles asks in confusion.

Peter raises his brow and nods towards the entrance where Paige has just entered. Stiles looks on in confusion as the young woman looks around, searching for something or someone. She spots Stiles and Peter standing there and her face lights up. As she’s approaching Peter inches closer to Stiles and Stiles looks at him in alarm.

“Umm...what are you doing?” he hisses out to the man.

“Smile for the pretty crazy stalker,” Peter says through a forced smile at Stiles and Stiles turns around just in time to plaster an awkward smile on his face before Paige arrives.

“Paige, hi,” Stiles says lamely, raising his hand in greeting, and Peter snorts softly next to him.

“Stiles,” the woman greets him. “Peter,” she says with a sweet smile at the older man. “Have either of you seen Derek?” she asks hopefully.

Stiles shakes his head in the negative. “Nah, I actually just got here. Does he usually work on Saturdays?”

Peter shakes his head. “Sorry Paige, my nephew took the day off to spend time with some of his friends who are visiting from out of town,” he says. “He was meeting up with them for a hike in another town,” he continues.

“Oh do you—” Paige begins only to be interrupted by Peter.

“And I’m not sure where he is or when he’ll be back,” he states, looking down to study his cuticles and Stiles gives the man a weird look.

“Oh,” she says and her shoulders slump and Stiles admits she looks overly depressed at this news.

“Uh, maybe you should check in another day,” Stiles suggests, hiding a wince when Peter pinches his side.

Paige perks up at this suggestion, before slumping back down, looking at her hands. “I keep stopping by every day, but he’s never here anymore,” she says glumly and Stiles looks at Peter in alarm. The older man makes the sign for crazy before hastily running his hand through his hair when Paige looks back up at them.

“Oh, well, um…” Stiles trails off unsure of what to say, so he stands there awkwardly with Peter.

Peter tenses next to him and Stiles looks up to see Derek enter the grocery store only to take one look at them and turn around and jog back out to his car. Stiles stands there gaping as he sees the Camero roar by, and Peter leans closely to say under his breath, “Told you.”

~~~~~

“So let me get this straight,” Scott says as he pipes some buttercream on a cake, “you first tried Isaac but he was scared off by Kate. Then when you set him up with Paige, it was a good thing. Only it’s not because she’s...crazy?” he finishes with a furrowed brow, glancing up to confirm with Stiles.

“Yup,” Stiles says, popping a strawberry in his mouth. “She’s like clingy stalker crazy apparently. Keeps showing up at the grocery store at all hours to see Derek,” he mumbles around his chewing.

“And Peter says you still have to find Derek someone because now there are two crazy ladies in his life,” Scott says with a laugh.

Stiles harrumphs at this. “I don’t know what he’s expecting. I mean, there’s only so many eligible people I know that he may consider going out with.”

“What about Danny?” Scott asks. “He’s super sweet and attractive, and I’m sure he’d like to go out, even if it’s just for fun and nothing serious.”

Stiles thoughtfully chews another strawberry. “You know what, that’s a good idea. I think I’ll call him.”

~~~~~

Stiles is avoiding ‘Turn of the Page’ for now, not wanting to hang around Paige’s depressed state more than necessary. Instead he’s been hitting up the local diner for his morning cup of joe as he browses through the local paper. He’s feeling a little old when he does this, but eh, why not he thinks.

An alert on his phone sounds and when he checks it, it’s to see Scott requesting him to run by Hales to pick up ‘ALL the containers of egg whites, not Egg Beaters though b/c they add a yellow additive!’ Stiles rolls his eyes at this and tucks his phone back in his pocket. He’ll finish off his coffee and maybe get a to-go cup.

As Stiles stuffs the last piece of bacon in his mouth, the chair across from him is pulled out. When Stiles looks up it’s to see Deputy Parrish smiling at him.

“Parrish, my man, how’s it going?” Stiles asks cheerfully.

“Pretty good,” his dad's newest deputy says with a grin. “Scott giving you a break from grocery store errands?”

Stiles gives a snort. “Funny you should ask,” he says wryly. “He just sent me a text to buy all the egg whites, but not the egg beaters.”

“Ahh...yellow additives,” Parrish says wisely and Stiles looks at him in bemusement.

“Er, that's right,” he says. “I was just finishing up before heading over to Hale’s. Care to join me?” he asks.

“Sure I can do that,” Parrish replies cheerfully.

~~~~~

Danny ends up a bust and Stiles really feels regret for this one. He had thought for sure that the man was perfect for Derek, but how was he to know Danny was still hung up on his completely straight as ruler best friend Jackson. Stiles groans into his hands as Peter stares judgmentally over his cup of coffee while taking dainty bites from Talia’s fresh baked mini donuts. When he looks up, Peter shoves the entire rest of the donut in his mouth.

Stiles looks at the empty plate. “Wait, weren’t there a dozen donuts?”

Peter raises his eyebrows at him before taking a large gulp of his coffee.

“That’s a little extreme, even for you,” Stiles mutters and Peter picks up a stray crumb from the plate and licks it deliberately off of his thumb.

“Oh my God!” Stiles exclaims as he throws up his hands. “I’ll keep looking!”

A guffaw sounds from behind and when Stiles turns around Laura is standing there with a pallet. She raises her eyebrow at him and Stiles looks between her and Peter with disbelief. "No, no way. I'm pretty sure I'm not an actual employee here," he exclaims.

"Hello Mrs. Williams," Laura calls out sweetly with a wave and Stiles blanches when he sees the old woman glaring from the end of the aisle. 

"Oh my God, does the woman never go home?" he hisses under his breath as he scurries over to the pallet. Laura just smirks at him.

~~~~~

“You need 20 dozen eggs?” Stiles says to himself with a sigh at his phone.

“Who needs 20 dozen eggs?” the sheriff questions as he walks by to refill his cup of coffee.

“Scott. Apparently they’re getting their asses kicked,” Stiles says with a snort as he scrolls through the net to see who may have that many. After shooting off a text to Peter to just make it easier, he sets his phone down to resume eating his breakfast.

“So how’s the quest to find boy Hale a non-crazy lady love?” Noah asks with a smirk and Stiles throws his head back and stares up at kitchen ceiling.

“You know, I really thought Jennifer was the one,” he muses. “But no, apparently she’s just as whack-a-do as Kate and Paige.”

“Jennifer?”

Stiles grimaces at the ceiling. “Jennifer Blake.”

“Wait, you tried to set him up with Jennifer Blake?” the sheriff asks in alarm.

Stiles rights himself before holding up his hands in front of himself. “In my defense, I didn’t know she was on the lam from the law for attempted homicide in her hometown.”

The sheriff facepalms before muttering ‘good grief’ under his breath.

When Stiles goes strolling into the grocery store for eggs, Derek Hale is standing there with his arms crossed giving him the stink-eye. Stiles hopes he hides the wince when he sees the man. He opens his mouth to say something only to be beaten to the punch by Derek.

“Okay, fine I’ll go out with you,” Derek states flatly.

Stiles blinks at him in bewilderment. “I— Wait—What?!” he asks as he looks around in confusion before pointing at himself.

Derek raises a brow and Stiles wonders if he’s always been this judging with his eyebrows. Stiles gapes at the other guy as Derek approaches to stand directly in front of him. Without a word, Derek takes Stiles’ phone out of his hand and punches in something before shoving it against Stiles’ chest. Stiles looks down and catches his phone before Derek lets go and walks away without another word.

Stiles swipes at his phone and sees Derek’s number. “But I just came for eggs…” he trails off in disbelief.

A snort from beside him makes him jump in surprise. Peter eyes him up and down. “You’re an idiot,” he says smugly before walking away, and Stiles squawks with indignation.

~~~~~

Talia crosses her arms and leans against Peter who is munching on a donut and watching the Stiles and Derek show. “So how much is this going to cost me?” she asks as Derek manages to catch a cantaloupe that Stiles has somehow sent rolling off the pile.

Peter shrugs. “The deal was for first dibs on your fresh baked coconut donuts with the rejects added in second, but now, who knows. The guy’s clumsier than I thought,” he smirks in glee.

Peter holds out a plate and Talia accepts a donut. The two exchange a look with one another as Derek’s ears turn bright red as the two men hold hands over the melon. Peter rolls his eyes and Talia chuckles at the sight. “Well brother, I think we can call this a success,” Talia says in amusement and Peter nods his head in agreement. They both tap their donuts together in celebration before taking a bite and watching the two idiots in love.