Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

anal kings

nam june: dont call me that ever again. actually, dont call me anything ever. i’ll take my whore ass elsewhere.

taetae: ???

cutie on duty: ?????!

#shaniac: tf ??

the devil: who was that meant for

nam june:.. .no one...forget u saw anything

nam june: *puts the men in black thing in front of ur eyes*

cutie on duty: who caled u a whore???

taetae: ur bf?

john cena: if he called u that imma beat his ass. send me his location

cutie on duty: 2nd dat

taetae: 3rd

#shaniac: 5th

#shaniac: meant 4th but yoongi prob already there

 the devil: yep. where he at namjoon

the devil: asking for a friend

nam june: stop it’s fine i dealt with it whatever

nam june: u can say u told me so now lmao

#shaniac: *paramore’s told u so plays in the distance*

the devil: shut up hoseok this is srious. what did he do??

john cena: asking for a frienf

nam june: nothing

cutie on duty: bullshit lmao

taetae: lmao indeed

nam june: i didnt mean 2 send that here so..ye..

the devil: no shit but u did and here we are

the devil: tell me

john cena: tell me

the devil: tell me

john cena: tell me

taetae: tell me

nam june: SGAFIIGFF blease for the lov of justin bieber

nam june: YES donghuk called me a whore ok but its over anyway so is alllll good

#shaniac: the blatant sorrow in that “allll good”

cutie on duty: u okay? need a hug?

john cena: tell me everthing hyung

the devil: asking for a friend

nam june: nah its p embaressing and stupid

#shaniac: lmao i want to know too so spill

nam june: i thought he was nice...gonna be different..

#shaniac: me 2 dats why i hooked u 2 up

#shaniac: never again. fuckers think they can hurt ma bab

nam june: and it was all good w/e but once he wanted me to have sex with him nd i said no he was a jerk. nd then today he found me on campus and said mean stuff 2 me and yep thats it

nam june: its over. another one bites the dust

nam june: :/

the devil: he still live in that shitty apartment

nam june: yoongi hyung NO

john cena: yoongi hyung and me YES

get joonie a bf STAT

taetae: we r here today….

the devil: no

john cena: no

cutie on duty: YAS TAE. I LVOE THIS. HYUNGIE NEEDS A NICE BF

taetae: dis why i love u bby

cutie on duty: :O

cutie on duty: :*

john cena: hyung needs no bf never again not in my lifetime

john cena: he can date when hes older

taetae: ??? he older than u tf

john cena: sure but he a baby. must protect

cutie on duty: u weird kookie lol

john cena: fuck u mini muffin

cutie on duty: >:((((

taetae: wo back off fam ill fight u

john cena: have u seen these moves? i beat john cena in wwe 2k17 so…

john cena: *shrug emoji*

the devil: ya’ll shut the fuck up. this is stupid i wont let it happen

the devil: namjoon is honestly upset

the devil: AGAIN

the devil: over a boy who only wants him for sex

the devil: he doesn’t seserve it and it honestly pisses me off im this close to loosing my mf SHIT ON EVERYONE

john cena:...hyung is right

cutie on duty: :( but he needs looooooove

the devil: ye well all he’s getting are assholes and u know hes insecure and i have to build him back up every time

the devil: tbh he thinks hes unlovable and annoying and thats why no one wants him

the devil: so he cant go thru it again or it will shatter him

john cena:...wow…

john cena: suddenly i feel murderous idk tho i wonder why :)

taetae: wtf….hyung in amazing

cutie on duty: and wonderful

taetae: and a little smoosh

the devil: i know thats why i hate seeing him like this

taetae: fine so no go on the plan :(

#shaniac: damn. but i got someone to hook him up wit

the devil: NO

john cena: NO

taetae: NO

cutie on duty: nooooooo :(

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cutie on duty: AHHHHHHHH

cutie on duty: help mehhh!!!

cutie on duty: i’m dying

cutie on duty: im crying real tears

cutie on duty: :(((

cutie on duty: DADDY help!!!!

taetae: wot what wrong were r u stay there

john cena: u called?

cutie on duty: oh my

taetae: (:

john cena: :))

taetae: :)))

john cena: :)) :))))

cutie on duty: STILL NEED HERP

taetae: babe what is it

cutie on duty: o u dont care?? dun care that IM DYING???

cutie on duty: on my death bed???

cutie on duty: daddy #2 :(

john cena: yes sweetie i care wots going on imma come get u rn

taetae: WOW the disprespect in MY HOUSe

taetae: u come here...on the day of my daughters wedding..

cutie on duty: ok but srsly tae tae i need u

taetae: shit min u okay??

the devil: ??? where r u?

cutie on duty: IM HUNGRY AND I HAVE NO MONEY

taetae:...bitch…

cutie on duty: taehyung pleaseeeeeeee :( me so hungry

the devil: dont say that ever again

john cena: where r u? ill head over and buy u lunch

john cena: i ahve a break rn

cutie on duty: :D thanks daddy #1

john cena: :)

taetae: WOW

taetae: :)))

min yoongi

jung hoseok: hey yoongi is joon ok?

jung hoseok: havent heard from him in the gc

jung hosek: lil worried ngl

min yoongi: hes..hes ok

jung hoseok: so convincing

jung hoseok: srs, im sorry i hooked him up wit donghyuk. if i knew he was a prick i wouldnt have done it

jung hoseok: tell joon im sorry

min yoongi: he knows u r he doesn’t blame u at all

jung hoseok: he blames himself?

min yoongi: bingo

jung hoseok: fuck. imma head over rn

min yoongi: sleep over?

jung hoseok: whatever u want

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john cena: party?

taetae: party?

cutie on duty: party!!

#shaniac: fuck yeh party

the devil..where?

john cena: fuck if i know. some dudes house, idk yug’s gonna text me later

cutie on duty: lets go!!!

#shaniac: yeeeeee!!!

nam june: and invite urself?

john cena: hyung.. ym sweet summer child...u dont gotta be invited to college parties to go to em

nam june: sounds a little rude, no?

the devil: tf u type like that

the devil: but no its chill

taetae: come with us namjoon hyung?

get joonie a bf STAT

the devil: u snakes NO

the devil: i know what u r doing

the devil: i see u i fuckin see U

taetae: BINCH..calm tf down

taetae: imma no tryna hook him up...just want him to have fun...party a little mayhaps…

cutie on duty: yeah maybe he’ll get his mind off that douche ex

john cena: 1st tae hyung the shit was that grammar

john cena: 2nd im with yoongi hyung NO

taetae: he needs to have fun u cant keep him in a bubble

taetae: like adam sandler

cutie on duty: yeah i agree!!!

#shaniac: guys i kinda agree with yoongi and the kid on this one..

taetae: GASP

cutie on duty: HYUNG U BETRAY US

#shaniac: i mean i went over to joon and yoongi’s last night and joon was upset he cried in my arms for like 2 hrs...then we played games...then he fell asleep between yoongi and i..in his bed..

#shaniac: so…

taetae: oh fuck its worse than i thought

cutie on duty: omg dats cute

taetae: no its not its sad jimin

cutie on duty: k see if i ever cuddle with u again i think NOT

john cena: more for me :)

taetae: i swear to god jungkook imma mcfreaking lose it

#shaniac: ya’ll check the gc

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nam june: can i come? maybe?

taetae: sure hyung!!

get joonie a bf STAT

the devil: omfg fuck u taehyung

anal kings

nam june: yoongi hyung can we go together??

the devil:....sure namjoon

nam june: woot woot

#shaniac: WOOT WOOT

cutie on duty: WOOT WOOT

taetae: WOOT WOOT

john cena: ill let u know when yug texts the address

#shaniac: kool

cutie on duty: side note, anyone ehard carly’s new song?? its so good love me sum carly!!!

john cena: who da hell is carly??

cutie on duty: *gasps in horror* kookie i cant...kookie..

john cena: ?? what

taetae: i did babe its good carly always with the bops

cutie on duty: yeee tae!!! i want to go to a carly concert!!

taetae: im on it

cutie on duty: :D u da best

nam june: carly rae jepsen?

the devil: call me maybe girl?

cutie on duty: dont ever slander carly like that again shes not just the call me maybe girl

#shaniac: i wanna cut to the feeling!!!!

cutie on duty: OH YEAH

nam june: i like her songs too. they r good.

cutie on duty: :DDD

taetae: :DDDD

nam june: :DDDDD

the devil: >:|

get joonie a bf STAT

the devil: jus to set some things straight

taetae: oh no

the devil: DONT hook joon up with someone

john cena: heres looking at u hoseok

#shaniac: fuck u

the devil: and DONT let someone take him home or anything

the devil: okay? please?

the devil: if he has a one night stand idk what he’ll do he’ll be upset

#shaniac: i wont let it happen anyone who tries to get wit namjoon will get these hands first

john cena: imma be fucked up but ill try my hardest hyung i will

cutie on duty: me too

taetae: i’ll try but making no promises

the devil: fuck u taehyung

taetae: *shrug emoji*

anal kings

john cena: i sent ya’ll the adress. be there whenever but it starts at 9

taetae: yep got it - i’ll be there with jimin

the devil: im bringing namjoon and hoseok

john cena: sweet see u fucks then lmao

cutie on duty: bye bye

john cena: i aint going anywhere tf???

john cena: but bye bitch LMAO

taetae: ..u called jimin a bitch??

taetae: HMMMM???>> :)

john cena: can u read or???

nam june: WOW jungkook ur so savage lol

 the devil: omg i raised u well young padawan

t aetae: one day jungkookie….one fucking day…

john cena: see u then :)

cutie on duty: one day what

jung hoseok, min yoongi

nam june: guys dont let me get too drunk ok?

nam june: idk just..dont let me do smthing dumb ok?

nam june: ahahha

the devil: course nam

#shaniac: i got u babe

nam june: is it dumb to be..idk.. kind of nervous??

nam june: like parties r ok im not a fan but dont hate em

nam june: idk like what if i see donghyuk or somthing?

the devil: its not dumb its okay

#shaniac: if u feel uncomf dont come dont force urself

nam june: no i want to have fun!! and i feel bad ive been moping and dragging u 2 down too :/

#shaniac: lamo fuck off with that we r bros idc i woud do anything to make u feel better

the devil: ^^ what hoseok said

the devil: and if that dick has the balls to show up he’ll have me and hobie and jungkook to face

#shaniac: donghyuk:  honey u got a big storm coming

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john cena: im here where the shit r u guys

taetae: coming shit calm down

the devil: legit walking up the stairs

cutie on duty: sorry for being late kookie!!

john cena: its okay baby :)

taetae: we gon fight tonight jungkook

taetae: keep ur eyes peeled

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nam june: tae when jungkook calls jimin baby:

nam june: tae when jimin calls jungkook daddy #2:

nam june: jungkook when tae says he wants to fight:

nam june: tae when

 taetae: arent u at this party too?? tf r u doing this shit?

nam june: im bored lol

taetae: at a party? THIS party??

john cena: where r u?

nam june: bathroom

john cena: u taking a shit?

nam june: no im just...in here

john cena:....urm

the devil: is that where u went off to? been looking for u

nam june: sorry hyung and dont worry about me go have fun

the devil: not when u sound like an emo hiding in the bathroom

nam june: im not hiding i just dont want to be out there ok

cutie on duty: why?? its fun we’re having DANCE BATTLES

nam june: just not a fan of some of the ppl

john cena: r ppl giving u shit hyung?

the devil: who? its not donghyuk is it??

#shaniac: tell me if i nedda square up

nam june: no just random ppl its fine just let me stay here a lil ill come out soon

the devil:..fine but if someone gives u shit tell me

#shaniac: imma fight

get joonie a bf STAT

taetae: YALL WE GOT A SITUATION

the devil: ??? tf what

john cena: que paso

taetae: namjoon hyung is getting harrassed

taetae: I REPEAT NMJOON IS GETTING HARRASD

the devil: the shit where r u??

john cena: tae go help tf u texting us for!!!

taetae: he a big mf i cant do it

taetae: but i will if i have to

the devil: WHERE U AT U COCK TELL ME??

taetae: oh boy but it looks like i have to

taetae: :))

john cena: where yall u need backup?

taetae: WAIT...someone….ohohoh ;)

the devil: the duck that mean

taetae: a knight in shining armour….decided to show up and save the day…

taetae: he ran the guy off...now he’s asking hyung if he’s okay..he’s rubbing his back…

cutie on duty: oh my glob so cute !!!

the devil: get that man away from namjoon

taetae: hm….i dont think i will...they cute

the devil: TAEHYUNG U COCK I SWEAR TO GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

cutie on duty: calm down its cute hyung!!! he’s being soooo nice to hyung! hyung’s even laughing!

#shaniac: laughing u say?

the devil: hobi no dont fall to their dark ways

#shanias: but he seems nice…

john cena: WHRE R U FUCKERS AT????

#shaniac: oh ym shit yoongi

the devil: what?

#shaniac: one word: kim seokjin

the devil: thats two words

#shaniac: two words: kim seokjin

Chapter Text

get joonie a bf STAT

taetae: dont b mad yoongi hyung

cutie on duty: he will be tae :(

the devil: :) what u dumbos do?

taetae: 1st - RUDE

taetae: 2nd - ask hobi

the devil: @#shaniac

the devil: enlighten me b…

#shaniac: thank u snake

#shaniac: ANYWHO

#shaniac: u know yoongi hyung...seokjin doesnt have many friend in college..all his friends r older

the devil: imma stop u right there

the devil: NO

cutie on duty: hear him out hyung

john cena: shut tf up bitch im with yoongi NO

cutie on duty: wow

taetae: WOW

#shaniac: SEOKJIN HYUNG IS SO NICE TF

#shaniac: yoongi U KNOW he is a gentleman!

the devil: ye i thought some of the others were too and look what they did to namjoon

the devil: not risking it

the devil: i will protect namjoon with my life

john cena: u have a boner for him or what?

the devil: ffff jungkook

#shaniac: aint even tryna hook em up genuinly want seokjin to be part of the gc he’ll get along wit everyone

the devil:....

#shaniac: im right

anal kings

*#shaniac added kim seokjin*

kim seokjin: not even gonna ask about the name 

the devil: good dont

john cena: who tha shit is this

#shaniac: jungkook do u ever pay attention to anything we say EVER

john cena: *shrug emoji*

kim seokjin: im kim seokjin. senior year, go to the same school as u

cutie on duty: nice to meet u hyung!!!! im jimin!!!

kim seokjin: omg hello cutie :)

taetae: wow bitch already. back off i gotta fight two at once? ill do it

kim seokjin: ?? wot

the devil: sigh, jimin is taehyungs bf and hes annoying

taetae: hashtag rude

kim seokjin: oh ahaha, sorry taehyung

taetae: its okay hyung. im taehyung of course lol

the devil: u know me

#shaniac: u know me too

kim seokjin: unfortunately

the devil: LMAO

john cena: im jungkook

kim seokjin: hi :)

nam june: im namjoon….

kim seokjin: oh, the one from the party?

nam june: yes

kim seokjin: how r u?? get home okay??

kim seokjin: that guy left u alone right? or do i have to go all big bad boyfriend and intimidate him again? lol

get joonie a bf STAT

taetae: :)

taetae: thats me screamin with my mouth closed

anal kings

kim seokjin: hoseok i ahve a question

#shaniac: wat

kim seokjin: wtf is ur username

#shaniac: oh lol u know the show buzzfeel unsolved

#shaniac: on youtube?

kim seokjin: no what is it

john cena: pls god dont get him started

#shaniac: 2 dudes from buzzfeed go to haunted places and investigate and shit. one is ryan who’s scared as shit about everything and the other is shane he dont give a fuck

#shaniac: and one time shane called his fans shaniacs and i, jung hoseok, am a loyal shaniac

#shaniac: so thats why it is what it is

kim seokjin: huh interesting

the devil: not really

#shaniac: -_-

cutie on duty: i watch that show too!!

taetae: i know u do we watch it every friday night 2gether

kim seokjin: damn dats cute

#shaniac: but u r a RYAN FAN

cutie on duty: so??ryan and shane r friends its okay!!!

#shaniac:....got a point

john cena: jimin why u use so many !!!

cutie on duty: idk i like em!!!

taetae: theyre cute

john cena: theyre annoying

cutie on duty: kookie :(

taetae: kookie :)

john cena: :))

kim seokjin….damn…

nam june: one day they will fight 4 real

nam june: im taking bets rn

nam june: who thinks jungkook will win?

the devil: me

#shaniac: me

kim seokjin: me

john cena: me

taetae: wow seokjin hyung u dont even know who jungkook is yet u think he would win...smh

kim seokjin: i ahve seen him around. he has muscles

john cena: uhuh

nam june: ok now who’s for taehyung?

nam june: me

cutie on duty: me!

taetae: me

taetae: aw thanks baby <3

cutie on duty: u could take him fueled by sheer anger and gravity

nam june: if it was for jimin, i think tae could win. like how parents suddenly get superhuman strength when they protect their kids.

nam june: that would happen to tae if he had to protect jimin

taetae: hyung...omg..

cutie on duty: omg tae you would???

cutie on duty: pls come to my dorm i need u

taetae: gotta blast

john cena: i need u inside me, you mean?

the devil: imma beat ur ass on taehyung’s behalf

kim seokjin: wow i can really feel the love

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nam june: bois guess what 

#shaniac: what

the devil: what u want

nam june: i just saw some flowers blloming they were so pretty

the devil: imma kill u

kim seokjin: how nice namjoon ah! got any pics? 

the devil: do not send them here i dont got time for that

nam june: i’ll send them private hyung

kim seokjin: awesome :)

get joonie a bf STAT

john cena: namjoon slippin into those DMS like

john cena: ;)

taetae: ;))

john cena: seokji hyung shuld send him a dic pic back be like ‘u like this flower’?

taetae: OMG U GENIUS LMAO IM DYING

cutie on duty:...hehe thats actually funny kookie

#shaniac: hyung would never send someone a random dic pic

#shaniac: he’s a gentleman

john cena: nothing says gentleman like asking b4 sending a dic pic

the devil: stop talking idiots

anal kings

cutie on duty: hi dudes

cutie on duty: me and namjoon hyung and kookie  r dying so just wanna say i love u all esp taehyung

cutie on duty: u my only daddy :*

the devil: can u stop it

the devil: yall aint dying

#shaniac: get over urself

taetae: gotta be with them on this one min

taetae: u a drama queen

cutie on duty: wow fuck YOU taehyung

cutie on duty: i fucking hate you dont even think about putting ur ugly penis anywhere neaar me

cutie on duty: the only dick i want near me is JUNGKOOK’S FAT COCK

cutie on duty: hes my daddy now and he fucks me real good

cutie on duty: so boy bye :)

 #shaniac: YO WTF IM????

the devil:..jimin….

kim seokjin: oh my god jimin did you have to do that here??

taetae:.....babe….

the devil: thats too far alright wtf

nam june: wasnt jimin

john cena: heh

taetae: honestly jungkook...u made jimin say those things about a dick that isn’t mine…

taetae: made me think about u fucking MY bab…

taetae: ur lucky im not on campus i would deadass beat ur ass

taetae: im not playing getting REAL tired of ur shit u punk

cutie on duty: OMFG TAE THAT WASNT ME>

cutie on duty: i dont want jungkook’s dick that was him saying that

cutie on duty: ur the only dick i want near me :(

the devil: god that was tmi nasties

nam june: kind of cute

john cena: shucks foiled again

john cena: if it weren’t for u damn kids

kim seokjin: wait,,,y r u and joonie dying?

get joonie a bf STAT

taetae: HE CALLED DWBFUOWFW JOONIE

cutie on duty: omg so cute im dying

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nam june: long story short everyone is busy so me and jimin and jungkook have to wait out in the cold until the bus comes

nam june: and none of us brought coats cause we dumb lol

kim seokjin: im not doing anything?? and live close??

kim seokjin: tll me where u r ill come get u

nam june: no its okay hyung

kim seokjin: joon ah, dont want u getting sick out in the cold where r u?

get joonie a bf STAT

john cena: im having a heart attack right here on the floor

john cena: im too young 2 die

john cena: but i will gladly die at the hands of namjin

the devil: namjin?

cutie on duty: namjoon and seokjin = namjin

the devil: ...u already have a ship name???

*taetae changed chat name to: operation: namjin*

john cena: *shrug emoji*

Chapter Text

anal kings

 taetae: quick question:

taetae: who would win in a fight? guy ferari or gordon ramsey?

john cena: depends

taetae: no weapons allowed except food ingredients

taetae: only 1 tho

nam june: obv gordon

nam june: mans got anger problems

kim seokjin: agree with joonie

the devil: guy wuld use hot sauce to blind gordon and then attack

#shaniac: gordon wul use smthing hard to beat guy with tho

cutie on duty: i think it depends on what they r fighting about

cutie on duty: i dont think gordon wuld have a plan tbh

cutie on duty: hed just fight

nam june: hed just call him names and hope something connects lol

the devil: guy wud take him down to flavor town

cutie on duty: omg hyung thats funny!

john cena: LMAO

taetae: fine so gordon would win?

kim seokjin: ye

taetae: ok so final boss:

taetae: gordon v bobby flay

john cena: ??? r u dumb y is that even a question

john cena: gordon would fiLAY bobbys ass

the devil: that was so bad

kim seokjin: lol jungkook good one

cutie on duty: KOOKIE LOL

nam june: bobby seems like a wild card tho..

nam june: all quiet and shit...but u never know

#shaniac: always gotta watch out for the quiet ones

#shaniac: ive never seen him get mad 4

the devil: u talk as if u know him personally

nam june: i do. bobby is my friend

the devil: ok weirdo

kim seokjin: i love bobby flay too he’s a great chief

nam june: u watch his cooking shows?

kim seokjin: like evry one. beat boby flay is my shit

nam june: :O ME TOO

operation: namjin

 taetae: and here we see a wild namjin in its natural habitat

#shaniac: bonding over bobby flay

john cena: what young love

the devil: shut up ur 12

john cena: im not 12 but i knw smthing that is ;)))

cutie on duty: kookie gross

#shaniac: ugh

john cena: ask jimin he know ;))

taetae: (:

john cena: :)))

cutie on duty: yall….

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nam june: hyung where r u?

#shaniac: yoongi?

nam june: ye

#shaniac: idk why

kim seokjin: aw for a sec i thought u wanted to talk to me lol

#shaniac: :) me screaming wit my mouth closed

nam june: ??

taetae: nuthin

nam june: k weirdos

nam june: i do hyung!! but me n yoongi hyung were supossed to get coffee soon

nam june: but im here and hes not

john cena: how dare that snake stand u up

john cena: ill take his place bb wait for me

nam june: u 12

cutie on duty: WOW daddy #2 y do u betray me :(

taetae: :))

taetae: at least im #1 again

taetae: so fuck u kook

john cena: i can be daddy to both of u

nam june: um dont say that ever again

kim seokjin: ye u aint his daddy shut up

taetae: is this jealousy i smell?

kim seokjin: *shrug emoji*

operation: namjin

cutie on duty: seokjin hyung is namjoon’s daddy: confirmed

taetae: kim seokjin got a daddy kink: confirmed

#shaniac: namjin sailing: confirmed

the devil: u being murdered: confirmed

jung hoseok, min yoongi, kim taehyung, park jimin, jeon jungkook

kim namjoon: was he jealous

kim namjoon: of what kook said?

jung hoseok: who?

min yoongi: no

park jimin: yes

kim taehyung: yes

jeon jungkook: u welcome

min yoongi: stop no

min yoongi: the kid calling himself daddy is disgusting thats why he said that

kim namjoon: lol k...it is kinds weird calling urself my daddy kook :/

jeon jungkook: rude

kim taehyung: he wants to be ur daddy namjoon

jeon jungkook: seokjin: kim namjoon, i am ur father

kim taehyung: u ruined it ugly

jeon jungkook: rUDe

kim namjoon: but honestly…

jung hoseok: what is it?

kim namjoon: do u think hes flirting with me??

kim namjoon: or am i being dumb idk??

kim namjoon: actually it is dumb y wuld he lol nvm

kim taehyung: *inhale*

park jimin: BOI

jung hoseok: u want him to be flirting wit u?

jung hoseok

min yoongi: pls dont encourage this

jung hoseok: why not??

jung hoseok: dude...seokjin hyung is nice

jung hoseok: i know he wont fuck over nam

jung hoseok: i know it in my bones

jung hoseok: i can feel it in my balls

min yoongi: whats wrong with u

jung hoseok: many things but dats besides the point

jung hoseok: he and jin hyung should date

min yoongi: ????

min yoongi: NO

min yoongi: namjoon like JUST dumped donghyuk

jung hoseok: its been like 3 months

jung hoseok: its long enough to move on

min yoongi: maybe but u know namjoon is a dumb romantic and shit

min yoongi: and it wasnt a mutual thing the asshole just wanted sex

jung hoseok: i know..he shuld be with someone who wants MORE

min yoongi: who?? like seokjin??

jung hoseok: WOW u read my mind min yoongi. how did u know i was gonna say that?

min yoongi: -_-

min yoongi: dont force it and MAYBE ill let it happen

jung hoseok: fine ill go with the flow~

jung hoseok: u r my destinyyyyy

min yoongi: goodbye

anal kings

john cena: hey bith u never answered

john cena: OpS WRONG CHAT

park jimin, kim taehyung, jeon jungkook, jung hoseok, min yoongi, kim namjoon

john cena: bitch u never answered

cutie on duty: who r u talking to?

taetae: @nam june

john cena: i’m waiting…

nam june: ugh kook wtf!!!

john cena: mistakes were made i  know dont worry he wasnt even online..calm down

cutie on duty: and answer th quetion

nam june: i mean...idk

taetae: was dat mean

the devil: idk means i dont know

the devil: now leave him alone

taetae: do u think im an idiot min yoongi

 the devil: sometimes, yes

 the devil: i really do

#shaniac: @nam june..the crowd is waiting

nam june: i dont know anything about him rlly...lol

cutie on duty: well what did u talk about at the party?

taetae: the night he saved ur ass

nam june: i mean not much...he just said he was friends with yoongi hyung and hoseok

 john cena: lame

#shaniac: agreed

nam june: its hard to have a proper conversation between a group of drunk teenagers and the food table

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#shaniac: bored as shit what ya’ll doing

john cena: xbox

taetae: watching tv with chim

the devil: noneya

#shaniaic: ??? noneya

the devil: none ya business

kim seokjin: LOL noice yoongi

kim seokjin: im doing class work

nam june: same, hyung

#shaniac: booo u two old farts

kim seokjin: dont call me old

kim seokjin: and dont call me a fart

nam june: ur username is boring hyung

nam june: nd what r u and jimin watching tae?

kim seokjin: rude, kim namjoon. what do u think it should be then?

nam june: ohhhh um...ahah idk

nam june: what do U think?

kim seokjin: nuh uh what do U think

nam june:....ummm

 john cena: no U hang up

#shaniac: no U hang up

The devil: ok bye bitch *hang up noise*

john cena: lmao u would hyung

nam june: what r u and jimin watching taehyung?

the devil: ur username does suck hyung

kim seokjin: then pls give me suggestions

kim seokjin: dont just shit talk and leave me to my own devices

operation: namjin

taetae: hyung’s new usrname: namjoon’s daddy

the devil:.....what in tarnation

john cena: just bc u have a daddy kink doesnt mean we have to

taetae: -_-

taetae: werent u the one JUST making those jokes with me??

john cena:..i plead the 5th

the devil: y r u talking here but not on the other gc?

taetae: because i want namjoon n seokjin to talk

taetae: who cares about what me n jimin r watching

taetae: all i care about is namjin

#shaniac: the mans got priorities

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kim seokjin: im waiting

john cena: knight in shining armour

taetae: big bad boyfriend

#shaniac:friends with underclassmen

the devil: ..hoseok..so r we…

#shaniac..shit u right

kim seokjin: knight in shining armour??

john cena: ye u know when u swooped in and saved hyung from an asshole

taetae: that shit turns hyung on

nam june: TAEHYUNG

taetae:

kim seokjin: oh i get it..lol...thats boring tho

john cena: u calling saving hyung boring

john cena: wow seokjin hyung..wow

kim seokjin: wtf no!! joon ah i would save u every time!

operation: namjin

#shaniac:

taetae: imma mcfreaking kms

cutie on duty: tae stopped breathing

cutie on duty: but IM ABOUT TO TOO OMFG FUBWG

cutie on duty: AHHHHHHHH

john cena: “i would save u every time”

john cena: dats sum nicholas sparks shit

the devil: gotta admit..that was smooth

#shaniac: ship it, hyung, let it happen

anal kings

nam june: ahah thank you hyung :)

kim seokjin: :))

taetae: ok stop sexting u 2…

john cena: ur sexting bono??

taetae: jungkook is2g

#shaniac: ANYWAY

nam june: big bad boyfriend is funny..

nam june: cause its kinda like an inside joke??

taetae:...

nam june: or not? is it lame? sorry lol

kim seokjin: no i like it!!

*kim seokjin changed his name to big bad boyfriend*

taetae: :)

john cena: :)

the devil: :)

#shaniac: :)

cutie on duty: :)

park jimin, kim taehyung, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, min yoongi

kim namjoon: im embaressed

the devil: ?why?

taetae: ye why?

kim namjoon: bc like..idk

kim namjoon: he was pretneding to be my bf at the party

jung hoseok: yes we know

min yoongi: if u dont like it ill make him change it

kim namjoon: no i just..

kim namjoon: ugh dont laugh

kim namjoon: i kind of like it

kim namjoon: i think im blushing

taetae:...

john cena: BIC+TCH

Chapter Text

anal kings

big bad boyfriend: did u guys know u arent supossed to eat pizza before bed

big bad boyfriend: it causes nightmares

taetae: sweet dreams are made of cheese

cutie on duty: who am i to disagree

john cena: i travel the world and the seven seas

nam june: lmao nice pun

taetae: thanks

taetae: i shuld be a comedian

the devil: dont quit ur day job

cutie on duty: rude

 the devil: *shrug emoji*

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taetae: baby

cutie on duty: yeah tae?

taetae: where r u?

john cena: in my bed

john cena: ;)

taetae: ,,imma ignore that

taetae: jimin where r u?

cutie on duty: at my dorm, why?

taetae: do u wanna go out tonight? like dinner or something?

cutie on duty: o sure!! when?

john cena: can i come?

taetae: no

cutie on duty: we can all hang out another day maybe!

john cena: ayy ok

taetae: ANYWAY, where do u want to go?

cutie on duty: hmmm idk where do u wanna go?

taetae: wherever u want

#shaniac: damn dats cute

taetae: ;)

cutie on duty: can we go to that place by the river?? i like that place

taetae: sure babe, what time?

cutie on duty: 6?

taetae: alright

taetae: :*

cutie on duty: :****

john cena: gross

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john cena: guess whos on a date

#shaniac: u and shrek???

john cena:...no

john cena: and shrek is a historical icon fuck off

the devil: no u r just weird for liking him so much

john cena:......

#shaniac:.......................

nam june: who is on a date?

john cena:.............................

big bad boyfriend: taehyung and jimin

john cena: how do u know?

big bad boyfriend: 1st - u talked about it on this chat that everyone can see

big bad boyfriend: 2nd- i saw them leaving the dorms

nam june: u live near jimins dorm?

big bad boyfriend: yes

#shaniac: which means u live near namjoon

john cena: ;)

nam june:........

the devil: shut it jk

operation: namjin

#shaniac: dont tell me im the only one whos freaking out

john cena: nah b so am i

#shaniac: dis is perfect...some twilight shit

th devil: ok how is this anything related to twilight??

#shaniac: idk its the only movie i culd think of atm

john cena: jin hyung is edward and namjoon is bella

#shaniac: jin hyung is a vampire?

the devil: who sparkles in the light lol

john cena: team edward

#shaniac: team namjin

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big bad boyfriend: u live in the same dorm as jimin namjoon?

nam june: live in the same complex, yeah

nam june: i live downstairs

big bad boyfriend: neat! i live across the street a few blocks down

big bad boyfriend: itll be easier for us to hang out then lol

operation: namjin

john cena:

john cena: me watching namjin happen

#shaniac:...wheres tae whn u need him

the devil: i try so hard to prevent this from happening

the devil: but the world has other plans

john cena: dont deny it hyung

#shaniac: go with the flow

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nam june: yeah thts great hyung!

nam june: wait..do u live in one of those off-campus housing units?

big bad boyfriend: yep!

nam june: oh cool! i wish i didnt have to live in a dorm lol

big bad boyfriend: why?

nam june: idk i like my space and alone time

#shaniac: plus his roomate is a dickwad

nam june: …….

the devil: its true

nam june: hes not that bad

john cena: he sexiles u all the time

john cena: he copies ur homework all the time

the devil: and he made u cry once lets not forget that

big bad boyfriend: ??made u cry?? why?

nam june: LMAO yoongi doesnt know what hes talking about

nam june: that never happened

the devil:...... :|

john cena: :|

nam june: it is embaressing nuthing happened

kim seokjin, min yoongi

kim seokjin: what happened?

min yoongi: dont tell namjoon i told u

min yoongi: but his roomate is a typical dude bro nd 1 time when he was drunk he threw up on his ryan plushie and made fun of him for being upset

min yoongi: nd then he cried a lil

kim seokjin: omg what an asshole

min yoongi: dont wrry i made sure he knows what hes in for if he fuks with joon again

kim seokjin: :) good

kim seokjin: y does he evn still live with him??

min yoongi: said he doesnt wanna deal with moving out

kim seokjin: he could live with me next year lol

min yoongi: ahahhaa :)

operation: namjin

the devil: *screenshot*

the devil: dont say i never gave u anything

john cena: YOONGI HYUNG U R A GIFT

#shaniac: CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY

john cena: @taetae @cutie on duty get ur ASSES over here

john cena: FUCK UR DATE

#shaniac: namjin is HAPPENING

john cena: *banging fists on the tale* namjin namjin

#shaniac: how convineient..that seokjin lives in a house...with his own PRIVATE bedroom…

john cena: ;)

#shaniac: ;))

the devil: ahaha nope

#shaniac: im jus saying

john cena: @taetae @cutie on duty

john cena: NAMJIN

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cutie on duty: good morning!!

john cena: hows ur asshole??

john cena: is it ok???

cutie on duty:......jungkook

cutie on duty: thats emabressing

taetae: dont ask about my bfs asshole ever again

the devil: can u not ask about anyones asshole ever again?

the devil: thanks

#shaniac: ANYWAY, how was ur date u 2?

cutie on duty: great!! we had good food and then we sat by the river and jsut chatted

cutie on duty: it was soooo nice

taetae: im glad u had fun sweetie

cutie on duty: :*

john cena: puke

taetae: >:|

john cena: id like to redirect ur attention..check ur notifs

taetae: ok?

operation: namjin

taetae: DAMMIT WHY

taetae: WHY DID I HAVE TO GO ON A STUPID DATE AND MISS THIS SHIT

tatetae: MY NAMJIN

cutie on duty: u thought our date was stupid????

john cena: uh oh

taetae: i cant read babe idk

cutie on duty: ……

cutie on duty: namjin is soooo cute!!

cutie on duty: and jin hyung’s got a room to himself ;)))

john cena: thats what i was saying!!

cutie on duty: im already planning double dates!

taetae: YES JIM, that would be the best

cutie on duty: who said it was with u??? i meant double date withm me and kookie and namjoon and seokjin :)

john cena: ok baby

taetae:...........

taetae: hey

taetae: i didnt mean it like that

taetae: i get too overwhelmed with namjin im sorry

taetae: and stfu jungkook

cutie on duty: im flexible taehyung but not THAT flexible

cutie on duty: bye

john cena: LMAO the final nail in the coffin

#shaniac: rip in peace taehyung

john cena: i guess his asshole isnt okay

taetae: imma kill u BOTH

kim taehyung, park jimin, min yoongi, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, kim namjoon

kim taehyung: yall seen jin hyungs new selfie on insta?

park jimin: yeah

jeon jungkook: sure

min yoongi: ??yes

jung hoseok: yerp

kim taehyung: lets play odds

park jimin: uh tae no!

kim taehyung: tae yes!

min yoongi: whats odds?

jeon jungkook: u think of a number and on the count of 3 if u say the same number u have to do something

jeon jungkook: like a dare, like if u say the same nummber u gotta shave ur eyebrows

min yoongi: sounds dumb

jung hoseok: im down

kim taehyung: k cool if namjoon hyung says the same number as me hes gotta comment “zaddy” on seokjin’s new insta selfie

jeon jungkook: LMAO

park jimin: LMAOOOO

jung hoseok: :DD

kim namjoon: TAEHYUNG NO

jeon jungkook: just do it hyung

kim namjoon: no its embaressing!

jung hoseok: its funny

jung hoseok: and cute

kim taehyung: maybe ull get a lil something something

min yoongi: no

kim taehyung: stfu yoongi

jeon jungkook: namjoon do it

kim taehyung: namjoon do it

jung hoseok: namjoon do it

park jimin: namjoon do it

kim namjoon:,,,fine

kim namjoon: i only do it if i say the same number as who?

kim taehyung: me

kim namjoon: uh fuck ok

operation: namjin

taetae: jimin u gotta play double agent pretned to be on hyungs side and get him to tell u what number hes gonna say

min yoongi: i knew this was a ploy

min yoongi: that u were gonna rig it

taetae: hyung u know me so well

cutie on duty: on it!

kim namjoon, park jimin

park jimin: hyung what number are u gonna say?

kim namjoon:...idk y u wanna know?

park jimin: so i cna make sure tae doesnt choose it!

kim namjoon: sounds sus

park jimin: im kinda mad at him soooo

kim namjoon: wait why?

park jimin: ill tell u later but tell me ur number

park jimin: i want him to be annoyed he doesnt win lol

kim namjoon: lol ok

kim namjoon: imma say 7

park jimin: k!

operation: namjin

cutie on duty: hes gonna say 7

taetae: ur such a good double agent jimin

cutie on duty: :)

anal kings

taetae: say ur number in 1…

john cena: 2…

cutie on duty:...3!

taetae: 7

nam june: 7

nam june:......

taetae: YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH

#shaniac: get ur commenting ass over to seokjin’s ig

nam june: i dun want to

john cena: u gotta its the rules

#shaniac: zaddy is waiting…

anal kings

big bad boyfriend: why the fuck did namjoon comment zaddy on my picture

taetae: shut UP

big bad boyfriend: ??

nam june: it was a joke!! they made me do it!!!

nam june: u can delete it if u want!

big bad boyfriend: no namjoon its fine i dont mind really :)

big bad boyfriend: i was jsut wondering

john cena: why does that turn u on hyung?

big bad boyfriend: i understand why taehyung wants to kill u jungkook

the devil: y did u make it sound like u were pissed

big bad boyfriend: ??

the devil: the first thing u said u sounded angry

#shaniac: yoongi calm tf down

big bad boyfriend: iwas just surpised…

big bad boyfriend: u ok yoongi ah?

the devil: sure

min yoongi, jung hoseok

jung hoseok: yoongi can u chill out for 5 seconds

jung hoseok: i know its hard for u but pls

min yoongi: dont tell me u didnt get those vibes too?

min yoongi: ur a fucking liar if u say u didnt

min yoongi: like whys he gotta make it seem like namjoon liking him is horrible

min yoongi: i shouldnt have started to ship it

jung hoseok: 1 im glad u r accepting that u ship it

jung hoseok: 2 calm tf down

jung hoseok: 3 he wasnt grossed out he said he kinda liked it

min yoongi:..how do u know?

kim seokjin, jung hoseok

jung hoseok: yoongi is raging

jung hoseok: tell me u didnt mean namjoon syaing that grossed u out

kim seokjin: wtf no!!

kim seokjin: i said it like that bc...i was surpised

kim seokjin:..in a good way

jung hoseok: ohohoho kim seokjin ;)

jung hoseok: did that get u hot under the collar??

kim seokjin: shut up

min yoongi, jung hoseok

jung hoseok: *screenshot*

jung hoseok: there now take a chill pill bruh

operation: namjin

#shaniac: *screenshot*

#shaniac: u welcome

taetae: all hail namjin

taetae: vmin WHO?

cutie on duty:.........

Chapter Text

anal kings

taetae: namjoon hyung u know how  we mke fun of u for ur love of friends?

nam june:..yes

taetae: i understand u now

taetae: will and grace is MY SHIT

nam june: ahaha ye that show is p good

taetae: wanna hear my theory on who is who?

nam june: hit me

taetae: hoseok is jack

taetae: yoongi is karen

taetae: seokjin is will

taetae: u are grace

taetae: jungkook is nathan (woody harrison’s character)

taetae: idk who jimin is - he could be jack 2.0

nam june: who r u?

taetae: rosario of course

nam june: why r u the maid?

taetae: because i can be a snake when i need to

taetae: also shes a bad mf

the devil: why the hell am i karen??

the devil: r u trying to say im an alcoholic??

taetae: not yet

john cena: lmao burn

taetae: u r honest and speak ur mind. u can be a bitch but u also r ride or die for ur friends. u can be a snake too

taetae: and u r best friends with hoseok

john cena: idk what will and grace is but i hope nathan was a good character

nam june: hes not a main…

john cena: dammit

big bad boyfriend: im will?? im flattered

#shaniac: if only grace was a gay man

anal kings

#shaniac: LOOK AT THIS CUTE FUCK

#shaniac:

taetae: awww

taetae: my little tiger

taetae: grrr

john cena:....what THA FUCK

the devil: get ur furry ass outta here

taetae: IM NOT A FURRY

john cena: sure jan

nam june: hoseok wtf

big bad boyfriend: awww! u look so cute joonie!

nam june: o thanks hyung :o

operation: namjin

#shaniac: me namjin senses r a tingling

taetae: same

anal kings

nam june: i look so weird in that photo lol

john cena: then whyd u post it?

the devil: u look cute namjoon ah shut up

big bad boyfriend: dont tell my baby to shut up

big bad boyfriend: lol

operation: namjin

#shaniac: IM FUCKING DEAD YALL RIP ME

john cena: im screaming into the void

the devil: already with the petames….

the devil: suspicious

taetae: shut up u namjin anti

the devil: i aint an anti im jus saying

the devil: he already making moves…

john cena: hyung shut ya mouth

park jimin, kim taehyung, jeon jungkook, min yoongi, jung hoseok, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: help me

kim namjoon: 911

kim taehyung: i got my knife ready

jeon jungkook: send me ur location

min yoongi: whose ass do i gotta beat

kim namjoon: no no calm down

kim namjoon: jesus

kim namjoon: its seokjin hyung..

jung hoseok: OH….are u...flustered?? mayhaps??

kim namjoon:...

kim namjoon: mayhaps

kim taehyung: GET IT HYUNG

jeon jungkook: get that dick son

min yoongi: slow ur roll there will be no dick getting

kim namjoon: if i like him..which im not saying i do..i wuld want to date first b4 sex

kim taehyung: wow ur such a virgin lmao

jung hoseok: TAEHYUNG lmao

kim taehyung: im sorry im sorry...ur just soo cute hyung

jeon jungkook: so innocent

jeon jungkook: so pue

jung hoseok: real talk - do u like jin hyung?

kim namjoon: um idk maybe

kim namjoon: he’s nice...and funny..

jung hoseok: ill set u 2 up

jung hoseok: trust me

kim namjoon: um ok i guess

min yoongi: if hoseok sets up a date ud go on it?

kim namjoon: um ye sure

operation: namjin

taetae: SCREECH

john cena: SCREECH

#shaniac: SCREECH

the devil:...screech

anal kings

taetae: have any of u talked with jimin today?

the devil: no why?

john cena: nah but i noticed hes been silent today

big bad boyfriend: nah sorry tae

#shaniac: yeah why the radio silence?

taetae: @nam june can u go to his dorm and check on him?

nam june: sure tae, but why?

the devil: is something going on?

taetae: idk he hasnt been answering his phone and shit

taetae: think hes mad at me lmao

the devil: what did u do?

taetae: im offended u think its smthing i did

taetae: but idk

john cena: do u not remember what u said?

john cena: vmin who??

taetae:..oh drats

taetae: joon hyung keep me updated

nam june: im on my way now

taetae: k

anal kings

nam june: dont shoot the messenger

nam june: but jungkook is here

nam june: nd hes cuddling jimin

nam june: bc it looked like he was crying

taetae:....hm

taetae: ok

big bad boyfriend: why is he crying?

nam june: idk

#shaniac: tae fucked up thats why

taetae: it was a joke bruh

taetae: vmin will always be the superior ship

big bad boyfriend: what are the other ships?

taetae:..idk im just saying

nam june: im gonna go see if i can fifure anything out

nam june: so ttyl

big bad boyfriend: keep us in the loop

anal kings

nam june: text him now

kim taehyung, park jimin

kim taehyung: jimin, im sorry.

kim taehyung: twas just a joke babe

park jimin: u said our date was stupid

kim taehyung: u still mad about that?

park jimin: and said vmin who??

park jimin: and u keep flirting with namjoon hyung :/

kim taehyung: ok forst of all - ew.

kim taehyung: i wuld never cockblock namjin im the cpatain of the ship

kim taehyung: second of all - was a joke

kim taehyung: obv i know what vmin is

park jimin: taehyung thats not what i meant!!

kim taehyung: i love you park jimin

kim taehyung: u know that and if u want me to get sappy imma get sappy

kim taehyung: u r my moon and stars and my 4 am and the blue in the sky

kim taehyung: being with u is like being at home, so thats why i blow off vmin

kim taehyung: because it feels like there was always vmin

kim taehyung: its never been anything other than u and me

park jimin:....tae…

kim taehyung: but i wont make those jokes anymore if they make u upset

park jimin...aheitqepiaeiae 0utq kim taehyung i love you so so so so much <3

park jimin: its always been u for me, too

kim taehyung: kim jimin, i love utoo <333

park jimin: im taking ur last name????

kim taehyung: yes

kim taehyung: can i come over?

park jimin: yes please

kim taehyung: k but dont kick jungkook out

park jimin: ?

kim taehyung: imma kick his ass real quick :)

park jimin: :/ you ruined it

kim taehyung: <3 love u baby boy

park jimin: i love you too daddy :*

anal kings

the devil: why does ur daddy kink ruin everything?

john cena:..who u talking to?

the devil: the only 2 nasties in this chat

taetae: leave me alone yoongi

cutie on duty: ??what r u talking about?

the devil: u sent a screenshot of u and tae making up to namjoon and i saw it

the devil: and it was cute until the damn daddy kink

the devil: ya ruined the moment

big bad boyfriend: leave them alone yoongi ah

big bad boyfriend: they r yung and in love

cutie on duty: ye leave us alone yoongi hyung

taetae: dont kink shame me in my own house

big bad boyfriend: if this is anyone’s house it woud be mine

big bad boyfriend: since im the oldest

#shaniac: true

john cena: speaking of houses..anyone notice joon hyung getting a lil thicc lately?

the devil:.....

#shaniac:...whats that got to do with houses

taetae:......

nam june: wtf!!

big bad boyfriend: i have

cutie on duty: fuwegb38qfb efqe

#shaniac: damn she thicc

the devil: …..honestly what the FUCK

john cena; like hyung what u been doing??

john cena: squats??

john cena: hot yoga or some shit??

cutie on duty: if ur doing yoga let me come!!

taetae: me too i gotta see jimin’s ass in yoga pants

nam june: #ignored

nam june: no i havent been doing anything

nam june: r u calling me fat???

john cena: nah

big bad boyfriend: u arent fat at all ur perfect

operation: namjin

cutie on duty: r we all just gonna ignore what jin hyung said?

#shaniac: that namjoon is perfect?

the devil: i agree

cutie on duty: no!! that he noticed hyung getting thicc!

cutie on duty: that means hes been checking out hyung!!

taetae: omg chim u right

taetae: hyungs been checking out that booty ;)

the devil: i wish i could delete u irl

john cena; me too then id get jimin all to myself

taetae:..................................

john cena:................................*shrug emoji*

john cena: do u think he meant it that way tho??

#shaniac: imm ask

jung hoseok, kim seokjin

jung hoseok: what do u think of namjoon’s ass?

kim seokjin:...UHHHH

jung hoseok: do u check it out on  the reg?

jung hoseok: do u have to look away when joon bends down so u dont get a boner?

jung hoseok: do u fantasize about that badonka donk

kim seokjin: um why r u asking me this??

jung hoseok: cause u said u noticed joon was getting thicc

jung hoseok: which means u noticed what it looked like B4..and after..

jung hoseok: it all adds up

kim seokjin:..sure..he has a nice butt

jung hoseok: do u like him?

kim seokjin: yes, he’s sweet and nice and goofy

jung hoseok: alright tmi keep ur fantasies to urself

jung hoseok: if i said id hook u up with a date would u go?

kim seokjin: with namjoon? of course

jung hoseok: stay tuned

operation: namjin

#shaniac: kim seokjin wants that ass

taetae: ITS HAPPENING

Chapter Text

anal kings

cutie on duty: real honesty hours -

cutie on duty: id suck all of 1d’s dicks at once if they asked

cutie on duty: even louis’s unwashed one

john cena: why do i gotta wake up and read this shit

john cena: with my own 2 eyeballs

cutie on duty: wouldnt u??

john cena: um FUCK no. maybe harry’s and maybe niall’s but dats it

john cena: and id want them to suck MY dick

john cena: wuld u let all of 1d gangbang u tho?? dats the question

cutie on duty: yes

nam june: love how there was no hesitance with that answer

cutie on duty: bc i wouldnt hesitate

cutie on duty: if they asked id be like k where

the devil: 

the devil: why

#shaniac: @taetae 1d are after ur boy

big bad boyfriend: jimin ur fucking wild

taetae: tbh dats hot

taetae: let me watch babe

the devil: i ahte yall

big bad boyfriend: lmao i feel u yoongi

nam june: tbh id let them all gangbang me too

the devil: NAMJOON AH

john cena: *pretends to be shocked*

taetae: @big bad boyfriend

taetae: competition

anal kings

big bad boyfriend: jimin r u okay???

john cena: ?? why wouldn’t he be?

#shaniac: wuts going on?

big bad boyfriend: i was heading back home when i saw him walking up to his dorm but he looked upset??

big bad boyfriend: like he was dragging his bookbag and had his head down and shit

john cena: so he lookd pathetic?

john cena: nutng to worry about he looks pathetic often

the devil: shut the hell up jk

the devil: @cutie on duty

cutie on duty: shut up jungkook!!! u emo baby!

john cena: wow that rlly hurt

john cena: my cold dead heart

nam june:a re you okay?

cutie on duty: ye im fine just a rough day

cutie on duty: my proffs can be such buttholes sometimes!!

taetae: who was a butthole to u???

#shaniac: his teachers

taetae: o sorry cant help u soz

cutie on duty: :(

big bad boyfriend: how r they mean?

cutie on duty: i just try my hardest but they still dont think its enough!!

cutie on duty: like im trying but i just cant do it!!!

big bad boyfriend: thats alright jimin, as long as you know u tried ur hardest.

big bad boyfriend: sometimes there are things you just can’t do, and that’s alright

big bad boyfriend: not everyone was made to do everything

big bad boyfriend: u r so great at so many other things

#shaniac:....

the devil: thanks oprah

taetae: i wuld tell u to step off but that was solid

park jimin, kim taehyung, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, min yoongi, kim namjoon

jeon jungkook: did that give anyone else a boner?

kim namjoon: >:(

min yoongi: shut up

min yoongi, jung hoseok

jung hoseok: jsut wanted u to know imma set up that date

jung hoseok: didnt want u to go all king kong on me

min yoongi:...r u sure this is a good idea?

jung hoseok: they both like each other

jung hoseok: i mean i kno they dont know much about each other but i rlly think they will get along

jung hoseok: jin hyung is a gentleman, ad he respects ppl. he respects their opinions and values

jung hoseok: hes super empathetic

jung hoseok: and namjoon is sweet and needs a little softness

jung hoseok: jin hyung will bring namjoon out of himself nd namjoon will anchor jin hyung down

min yoongi: what do u mean anchor him down???

jung hoseok:....about that…

jung hoseok: hes had his fair share of...flings...lets say

min yoongi: fucking jung hoseok

min yoongi: hes a fuckboy??

jung hoseok: fuck no! he just has a lot of fwb’s nbd

min yoongi: “has”???

jung hoseok: had!!!

jung hoseok: 99% sure

min yoongi: i deadass will kill u

jung hoseok: last time i checked this was just a date doesnt mean they have to date

min yoongi: i still dont want him going out with a dude who’s still fucking other ppl???

jung hoseok: sigh i will figure it out

operation: namjin

#shaniac: quick question:

#shaniac: wuld u be offended if the person u went on a date with was fucking other ppl?

#shaniac: like its ur first date, and they have fwb’s that they still r doing sshit with?

cutie on duty: this is oddly specific

cutie on duty: did this happen to u hyung!!

#shaniac: no jimin

john cena: then why u asking

#shaniac:.....

#shaniac: the thing is…

the devil: jin is fucking ppl nd he still will b fucking those ppl if he goes on a date with joon ah

the devil: i think its fucked up

the devil: plan CANELED

#shaniac: plan NOT CANCELLED

cutie on duty: i would be upset :/

taetae: thats bc ur too cute jimin

john cena: so were u fucking ppl when u were first dating jimin tae hyung??

john cena: HUH???

cutie on duty: what!!!

taetae: wtf no!! john cena i am this close….why do u crave death so much

cutie on duty: i hope u werent tae :/

taetae: nah i wasnt

cutie on duty: good!

#shaniac: ok this isnt the vmin group chat thanks

#shaniac: give me ur opinions

the devil: i vote HELL NO

john cena: i mean they arent dating so id say its fine

#shaniac: yusss

john cena: BUT

#shaniac: :|

john cena: this is joon hyung we r talking about

cutie on duty: hes sensitive

taetae: nd with his past history its kinda fucked up

taetae: hes been fucked over so many times

#shaniac: fine but heres an idea

#shaniac: namjoon doesnt have to know

john cena: how culd he not know

#shaniac: they date a fwe times, if its serious and mututal i tell jin hyung he better tell those fwb to fuck off

the devil: the dumbest plan i heard of

cutie on duty: sounds like one of those plans where u can see the disaster from the start

cutie on duty: somehow hyungie will find out nd hell be crushed and namjin will die

taetae: i think its a solid plan

taetae: i need namjin to sail so bad i need it

taetae:

john cena: fuck it do it

john cena: joon wont know and its not like they r gonna be exclusive the moment they go on that first date

the devil: i rlly dont like this like lmao

the devil: u know joon will think jins fucking other ppl cause hes not good enough>>

#shaniac: hes the one who said he wanted to date b4 sex

john cena: exactly

taetae: i say set up the date

#shaniac: imma set it up

#shaniac: when yall free?

the devil: whats us free gotta do with it??

#shaniac: we gotta live tweet this bitch

#shaniac: jimin nd tae stay up and wait for joon to get home - tell us how he looks

#shaniac: ill ask jin hyung for updates

#shaniac: yoongi will put his overprotective ass into high gear and demand updates from joon

#shaniac: jungkook can fuck off on the couch and wait till we update him

john cena: rude

taetae:....hyung..

taetae: ur a fucking genius

taetae: fucking bill nye 2.0

john cena: bill nye is a scientist

jung hoseok, kim seokjin

jung hoseok: ask namjoon on a date

kim seokjin: now??

jung hoseok: no next year YES now

kim seokjin: isnt that too random??

kim seokjin: like we dun know each other

jung hoseok: dats what the date is for

jung hoseok: joon will say yes so dotn fear rejection

jung hoseok: do it bitch

kim seokjin: where should we go?? what should we do?

jung hoseok: um do i look like cupid? idfk

jung hoseok: make it for this sunday tho

kim seokjin: why?

jung hoseok: no reason just do it

kim seokjin, kim namjoon

kim seokjin: hello namjoon ah :)

kim namjoon: hi hyung! :)

kim seokjin: i was wondering, and i know this might sound odd and out of the blue, but would you like to get dinner with me sometime?

kim seokjin: there is a diner i know that’s a few towns over, it’s set up like an old 80s one, its nice.

park jimin, kim taehyung, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, min yoongi, kim namjoon

kim namjoon : *screenshot*

kim namjoon: WHAT DO I SAY???

park jimin: AHHHH OMFG

jeon jungkook: say yes u stupid bitch!!!

kim namjoon: omg ok

kim seokjin, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: that sounds great hyung! when?

kim seokjin: how about this sunday? we could even go to the drive-in after if you’d like, i saw they’re showing the goonies.

kim seokjin: do u know that movie?

kim namjoon: yes i love that movie!!

kim namjoon: that sounds awesome hyung!!

park jimin, kim taehyung, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, min yoongi, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: *screenshot*

kim namjoon: he likes the goonies

park jimin: hyung a drive in?? thats so cute!!!

kim seokjin, kim namjoon

kim seokjin: i’ll pick u up at 5:30, is that okay?

kim namjoon: sounds good!

kim namjoon: can’t wait!! :)

kim seokjin: me either joonie :)

park jimin, kim taehyung, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, min yoongi, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: omg i think i ahve a date with jin hyung!!

kim namjoon: do u think its a real date or a friend date??

jeon jungook: hyung im happy for u but ur fucking dumb

kim taehyung: its obv a real romance date

jung hoseok: woot woot joon ah!!

min yoongi: ...this is great

kim namjoon: im nervous hehe

min yoongi: if u want to back out its fine tell me ill take care of it

jung hoseok: yoongi u r TOO much

jung hoseok: let him live

kim namjoon: its a good nervous

kim namjoon: like excited

kim namjoon: nd smiling to myself in bed hehehe

jeon jungkook: virgin lmao

Chapter Text

operation:namjin

taetae: tonight, my friends, is the night

#shaniac: i am FOKIN ready

john cena: im cracking open a cold one boys

cutie on duty: tae is here we r gonna watch movies while we wait

#shaniac: no one cares

#shaniac: @the devil where r u?

the devil: my dorm…

taetae: r u ready to get those deets from joon?

the devil: im only doing this bc i want to make sure jin doesnt pull anything funny

john cena: u rlly need to chill bruh

the devil: dont call me bruh ever again

cutie on duty: dnt worry yoongi hyung i bet the date will go fine!!

the devil: it better

#shaniac: okay disperse my minions

kim seokjin, jung hoseok

jung hoseok: r u picking up joon now?

kim seokjin: yeah im picking him up from his last class

jung hoseok: dont fuck it up seokjin hyung

kim seokjin: i wont lmao

min yoongi, kim namjoon

min yoongi: did jin pick u up yet?

kim namjoon: no im waiting for him rn

min yoongi: ok well i want u to know if u ever want to leave text me ill call u

min yoongi: im gonna be at my dorm all night if anything happens ill come get u

min yoongi: if he does anyting u dont like tell me ill come get u

kim namjoon: ahah i dont think that will happen but thanks yoongi!

min yoongi: ye u never know

min yoongi: have fun kid

operation: namjin

#shaniac: let the namjin date commence

#shaniac: they have entered the diner

john cena: whats on the menu? ass?

cutie on duty: stop ruining this beautful moment jungkook!

john cena: learn how to spell beautiful and then we’ll talk

kim seokjin, jung hoseok

jung hoseok: what did u get to eat? what did joon get?

kim seokjin: fuck off

operation: namjin

#shaniac : i tried to get food details

#shaniac: i was shut down

the devil: leave them the fuck alone hoseok

min yoongi, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: holy shit yoongi hyung

min yoongi: ill be there in 10

kim namjoon: no everything is fine

kim namjoon: im just,,freking out

min yoongi: why?? did he do something?

kim namjoon: no i just…

kim namjoon: i rlly like him hyung

kim namjoon: he went to the bathroom and im trying to think of things to say to keep the convo going

kim namjoon: like topics to bring up?

kim namjoon: and what if i do something dumb

min yoongi: namjoon stop

min yoongi: whatever u do he’ll like

min yoongi: why pretned to be someone ur not whe hes going to fall for YOU not the prim and proper you you create

min yoongi: and stop overthinking the convo will come naturally

min yoongi: and youll start talking about poetry or greys anatomy and get that stupid grin on ur fac

min yoongi: and hell think “fuck”.

kim namjoon: hyung..thank you

kim namjoon: if i didnt know better id think ur in love with me lol

min yoongi: yeah in ur dreams

kim namjoon: hes back from the bathroom brb!

kim seokjin, jung hoseok

kim seokjin: oi hobi im fucked

jung hoseok: pls tell me u ddint fuck up

jung hoseok: yoongi cant go to jail for murder until he writes a will and gives me all his possessions

kim seokjin: im in the bathroom

kim seokjin: i needed to collect myself before i do something

kim seokjin: like lean over the table and kiss him

kim seokjin: or tell him he’s the most beautiful person i think i’ve ever known

jung hoseok: seokjin get ut ASS our of the bathroom

jung hoseok: and tell him that

kim seokjin: nah thats way too soon

jung hoseok: namjoon will like it

jung hoseok: trust me

operation: namjin

#shaniac: *screenshot*

cutie on duty: OMFG SEOKJIN HYUNG IS SO SWEET

taetae: my heart,,,is so fragile

#shaniac: u gotta admit its sweet @the devil

the devil:...he better treat namjoon ah right

john cena: ass IS on the menu??

kim namjoon, min yoongi

min yoongi: where r u now?

kim namjoon: we r at the drive-in the movie is about to start

min yoongi: dont let him pull any moves on u

kim namjoon: hyung im an adult i kno

mi yoongi:....just making sure

operation: namjin

taetae: update??

the devil: they r at the drive in

john cena: noice easy place to make some moves ;)

the devil: jungkook how do u know ur 12

john cena: my moves worked on jimin so

john cena: *shrug emoji*

taetae:..... tonite is namjin night so i will refrain

cutie on duty: what movie were they seeing?

#shaniac: the goonies

taetae: do the truffle shuffle!

john cena: that was my moms favorite part!

the devil: stop quoting that movie back and forth

#shaniac: brand!!

operation: namjin

taetae: the eagle has landed

taetae: i repeat THE EAGLE HAS LANDED

cutie on duty: SOOO CUTE

#shaniac: what happened???

taetae: there was a lil smoochy smooch

the devil: no

john cena: YES

john cena: 

cutie on duty: jin hyung dropped joon off and me n tae hid behind the curtains n wtched

cutie on duty: jin got out to walk namjoon hyung up to the steps (so cute!) and they stopped under the porch light for a little

cutie on duty: and then jin put his hands on joon’s waist and leaned in and KISSED him

taetae: no worries yoongi hyung i saw no tongue

the devil: stop it

the devil: how long did it last?

john cena: are you a voyeur min yoongi?

cutie on duty: it was just a peck!

cutie on duty: a cute first date kiss!

taetae: im uber happy for hyung

the devil: yeah me too

anal kings

taetae: u guys want to see my namjin sims

john cena: fuck yes

the devil: uhhhh

big bad boyfriend: namjin? sims?

#shaniac: namjin is you and namjoon

big bad boyfriend: OH

big bad boyfriend: u made us sims?

nam june: TAE we’ve been out once!

john cena: ye but ur going again

big bad boyfriend: ur deciding that?

john cena: yep

big bad boyfriend: well he aint wrong lmao

cutie on duty: :o

cutie on duty: so smooth jin hyung

taetae: ANYWAY

taetae: they dont rlly look like u guys but im lazy and bad at making sims

taetae: namjoon hyung

taetae:

nam june: well i like my outfit

big bad boyfriend: r those fishnets under those jeans??

taetae:..maybe

taetae: seokjin hyung

john cena: lol hes making a funny face

big bad boyfriend: is that a baby??

taetae: oh yes, ur and namjoon’s child

taetae: jungkook

john cena; what the fuck

the devil: taehyung u have too much free time

taetae: toddler jungkook

#shaniac: omg kookie u r so cute!!

nam june: that onsie!! did i pick it out??

taetae:..technically i did but sure

taetae:

taetae: joonie and kookie

nam june: our baby is so cute hyung!

big bad boyfriend: indeed he is

taetae:

taetae: hehehehe ;)

the devil: dont make them make out wth

the devil: u perv

cutie on duty: they r married tho and have a baby

taetae:

john cena: jin hyung making dem moves ~

big bad boyfriend: shut up son

taetae:

taetae: a final snuggle to wrap up this thread

nam june: cute! i like them

cutie on duty: i know! they r almost as cute as me and tae’s sims!

#shaniac:..u made a sims au of u two?

taetae:....yes?

the devil: why do i know u two

nam june: can you make us have another baby?

big bad boyfriend: god this is embarrassing lmao

the devil: :) lmao

Chapter Text

kim namjoon, kim seokjin

kim namjoon: sorry if the sims thing embarrassed u

kim namjoon: if u dont want to go on another date its okay ahaha :)

kim seokjin: namjoon i’m taking you out on another date

kim seokjin: it wasnt that embarrassing i was just shocked because we only went out once lol

kim seokjin: i was worried u were going to be embarrassed by it

kim namjoon: oh well not really, thats taehyung for you ahaha

kim namjoon: but actually..i wanted to ask u something…

kim seokjin: ? what is it?

kim namjoon: did u mean what u said to me? ynow, at the movies?

kim seokjin: yes, i dont say things i dont mean

kim seokjin: you’re so beautiful namjoon

anal kings

#shaniac: i found the cutest thing

#shaniac:

cutie on duty: send me these hyung!

taetae: how did u get these??

taetae: were u STALKING us hyung??

#shaniac: not stalking i just happened to be walking thru campus when u nd jimin were

the devil: ur a fucking freak hoseok

#shaniac: rude

big bad boyfriend: aw you two are so cute!

john cena: #couplegoals

cutie on duty: you know it!

#shaniac: ur a fucking freak yoongi

anal kings

#shaniac: ive got some advice for ya’ll

#shaniac: get a job, buy your own shit, stay out of the forest

big bad boyfriend: ok i’ll try

cutie on duty: stay sexy, don’t get murdered

#shaniac: JIMIN?? A MURDERINO??

taetae: yes jimin n i like mfm

#shaniac: we have to have a murder party!!!

the devil: that doesn’t sound concerning at all

cutie on duty: ur all invited!!

john cena: i dont want to go to a murder party? what even is a murder party?

cutie on duty: it will be themed

cutie on duty: we will listen to mfm episodes!! and eat!!

nam june: maybe i could make cupcakes? i found this recipe online for true-crime inspired cupcakes

nam june: nd ive been wanting to try to make them

#shaniac: thats the best fukin idea

taetae: bring that shit

big bad boyfriend: do u lsiten to this whatever it is too namjoon?

nam june: yerp mfm is great

nam june: its a podcast

the devil: whats a podcast

taetae: shut the fuck up u old bitch

the devil: i will kill u

the devil: maybe ull be on ur stupid murder podcast then

taetae: it would be an honour

#shaniac: ok when do we want this shit to happen?

nam june: well i need to get the stuff and make the cupcakes

cutie on duty: can i come and help? hyung please??

cutie on duty: please please please please please

nam june: shut up jimin yes u can

big bad boyfriend: can i come over too?

nam june: sure hyung! :)

operation: namjin

john cena: namjoon hittin em with those emoticons

taetae: i want to go too but i need namjin to prosper

taetae: so i will send jimin into the lions den to get intel

the devil: what a nice boyfriend

cutie on duty: whaa :( it would be fun if u come too taetae

taetae: jimin..my fragile heart...no sad face emoticons

#shaniac: we need namjin to prosper bitch

cutie on duty: stop calling me a bitch

cutie on duty: bitch

anal kings

#shaniac: ok so how about this friday at mine?

#shaniac: that gives joon enough time to make cupcakes

#shaniac: and anyone who wants to sleepover can idc

big bad boyfriend: sounds good, when do u want me and jimin to come over joon?

nam june: thursday? is that good for u guys?

big bad boyfriend: yeah thursday sounds good

cutie on duty: works for me too!

nam june: cool i’ll see u guys at like 4?

cutie on duty: yay!

big bad boyfriend: see you then ;)

operation: namjin

taetae: that wink face tho

anal kings

big bad boyfriend: im heading over to urs now joon

nam june: ok jimin is here already

nam june: the door is unlocked u can come right in

big bad boyfriend: do u usually leave ur door unlocked?

nam june:..no

taetae: yes he does hes a fucking liar

big bad boyfriend: namjoon what the fuck

big bad boyfriend: thats dangerous as shit

the devil: ive tried to tell him

nam june: i have a reason ok

big bad boyfriend: and what is that?

nam june: my roommate goes out a lot and tends to forget his key at the house

big bad boyfriend: fuck ur roommate

john cena: deadass

the devil: i cant wait until he fucks up and i get to throw down

john cena: same

#shaniac: same

taetae: same

big bad boyfriend: same

operation: namjin

cutie on duty: i feel like im intruding on a ~moment~

#shaniac: a namjin moment??

cutie on duty: YES

taetae: o shit im ready lay it on me babe

cutie on duty: i was delegated to mixing, while namjoon hyung got the pans and stuff

john cena: what is jin doing

cutie on duty: im gettin there

cutie on duty: he was preheating the oven nd blah blah blah

cutie on duty: suddenly i hear banging and jin hyung go “oh shit joon ah!”

cutie on duty: mid stir, batter dripping from my wisk, i turn around

cutie on duty: and what do i see?

taetae: WHAT DO U SEE BABE?

cutie on duty:....

#shaniac: CUT THE SHIT TELL ME

cutie on duty: namjoon somehow collapsed the whole pile of pans when trying to get THE ONE he wanted

cutie on duty: so that banging was the pots

cutie on duty: nd anyway jin hyung grabbed namjoon and pulled him into his chest to PROTECT him

cutie on duty: and had his fists out like he was ready to fight the pans

cutie on duty: thats wht i saw

cutie on duty: u guys alive

john cena: nah this my ghost

john cena: im messaging from the grave

john cena: u used to call me on my ouija board

taetae:......im in love with namjin

the devil: is namjoon ok?

cutie on duty: o ye hes fine lol

cutie on duty:a ctually idk

cutie on duty: he’s rlly red i think he might be choking :/

#shaniac: LMAO

john cena: jin hyung can give him mouth to mouth ;)

taetae: choking on THAT DICK

the devil: i want to kick u out of this chat so bad

anal kings

nam june: *picture sent*

nam june: cupcakes ready!!

the devil: looking good namjoon

#shaniac: yummy i cant wait to eat them

john cena: what time r we showing up at urs hobi hyung?

#shaniac: tbh whnever u want idc i dont have classes so ill be home all day

taetae: jimin and i can be over at like noon

john cena: same

big bad boyfriend: namjoon do u want me to pick u up so we can go together?

cutie on duty: ;)

the devil: stop

nam june: o sure hyung! if its not out of the way!

john cena: he lives right across from u its not out of the way

big bad boyfriend:..what jungkook said

big bad boyfriend: i can pick u up at 2? is that okay?

nam june: thats great! thanks!

big bad boyfriend: :)

#shaniac: ok stop flirting u 2 - yoongi when r u coming

the devil: like 5 i have work

cutie on duty: boooo ur gonna miss the podcast

the devil: thats fine start without me. im coming jsut to hang out

#shaniac: <3

the devil: ew

anal kings

#shaniac: murder murder murder!!

cutie on duty: true crime true crime true crime!!

john cena: im worried

john cena: jimin next time u sleep with me im keeping a knife by my side incase u murder me

the devil: jimin u sleep with jungkook?

the devil: this is brand new information

big bad boyfriend: @taetae

cutie on duty: stop starting shit kookie!

taetae: jungkook u better not hide a knife there cause then itll be easier for me to kill u

name june: no killing in my house

cutie on duty: ^

cutie on duty: i love u both <3

taetae: thanks but WTF  dont love jungkook

taetae: hes 12 he doesnt deserve it

john cena: i told u im 13!!!

john cena: i know what love is!!! jimin ur my juliet and im ur romeo!!

john cena: ur my patroclus and im ur achilles!

john cena: im ur ron and ur my hermione!

taetae: jimin im ur mulder and ur my scully

cutie on duty: TAE :*

#shaniac: *daddy

the devil: dont encourage them

cutie on duty: DADDY :*

nam june: ugh

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big bad boyfriend: that podcast is disturbing

big bad boyfriend: but also oddly funny and interesting

nam june: did we convert u hyung?

big bad boyfriend: lmao i dont think id lsiten to it on my own

big bad boyfriend: maybe with u i would haha

operation: namjin

#shaniac: jin hyung is so damn smooth

taetae: i know he makes my game look bad

john cena: did u see those moves he pulled on joon earlier?

taetae: the classic “yawn to get my arm over ur shoulder” one?

john cena: hell ye that shit was well executed

cutie on duty: namjoon blushed so bad omg

#shaniac: and that thigh grab whenever he got up

taetae: that shit was intense too i saw it he gripped fuckin hard

john cena: i bet hyung liked it lol

#shaniac: he likes being told what to do

taetae: how do u know??

the devil: ENOUGH

the devil: dont taint namjin like this

the devil: keep ur dirty ways to urself

taetae: nothing dirty about being kiny fam

#shaniac: its jsut cause he doesnt get laid LOL

the devil: this slander

the devil:..did u see jin ate like 3 cupcakes?

the devil: because he wanted namjoon to see someone liked them

john cena: i see we’ve converted u hyung

john cena: welcome welcome

Chapter Text

anal kings

cutie on duty: i have big news!!!

cutie on duty: everyone!!!!

john cena: what?

the devil: what?

nam june: yeah?

big bad boyfriend: what?

#shaniac: yes bitch?

taetae:....what?

cutie on duty: ok i want u all to know...that me and taehyung…

taetae:???? we what??

cutie on duty: we adopted children…

john cena: jimin r u high?

taetae…..when?

the devil: u made me open this app for this shit

cutie on duty: no we did! my two babies!!

cutie on duty: renjun and chenle!!

cutie on duty: my chinese muffins!

#shaniac: arent those the kids from nct dream?

cutie on duty: no theyre my CHILDREN

taetae: i never agreed to this

cutie on duty: r u denying our children????

cutie on duty: u r abandoning us???

cutie on duty: taehyung how could you???

john cena: ill take his place

john cena: ill embrace my two step sons

john cena: ill provide for this family babe

cutie on duty: :O

cutie on duty: daddy :)

taetae: jimin i left u for like an hour to go to class

cutie on duty: so why r u here?

#shaniac: OH SHIT

big bad boyfriend: WORLDSTAR

john cena: 

taetae: lmao fine ill be home whnever

nam june:....jimin i think u upset him

cutie on duty: ill see him later

cutie on duty: i ahve to focus on raising MY SONS

kim namjoon, kim seokjin

kim namjoon: i dont want to say this in the chat but i feel like jimin takes these jokes too far sometimes

kim namjoon: what do u think?

kim seokjin: no i agree. jimin just got mad at taehyung for making jokes and now here he is doing the same

kim seokjin: he should be a little more thoughtful

kim namjoon: yeah but idk if i should say anything

kim namjoon: like maybe if they talk taehyung will be serious for once and jimin will get it

kim seokjin: maybe, but if nothing changes maybe u should talk to him

kim seokjin: it obvi pisses taehyung off

kim seokjin: i would be pissed too if u were flirting with another dude, making him our kids step dad and calling another man daddy

kim seokjin: lmao

kim namjoon: ahaha yeah that is too much

kim namjoon: theyve just been together so long i think they forget they can still have problems

kim seokjin: good point babe

anal kings

john cena: how r my kids doing jimin?

the devil: ur kids?

john cena: yes dont u remember earlier?

the devil: tbh i stopped reading eventually

the devil: yall r just too dumb

john cena: rude

john cena: how r they jimin?

cutie on duty: good! my babies r so cute :)

john cena: they got my genes in em dats why

nam june: theyre chinese

nam june: how do they have ur dna

john cena: science

nam june:..okay

#shaniac: can we stop talking about ur baby daddy drama?

cutie on duty: its not drama

john cena: im the baby daddy and dats it

the devil: where the fuck is taehyung?

cutie on duty: idk

cutie on duty: hes probably busy!

big bad boyfriend” *looks at the camera like im on the office*

cutie on duty: ??

nam june: i love the office lmao

big bad boyfriend: o shit me too

#shaniac: it seems like all u guys do is watch tv

nam june: is that a bad thing? tv is great

big bad boyfriend: agreed. sitting at home watching tv is my ideal free day tbh

nam june: ahah omg same hyung

john cena: god damn u two jsut fuck already

the devil: jungkook

big bad boyfriend: shut the fuck up kid lmao

john cena: wow agressive

john cena: u like that namjoon?

big bad boyfriend: leave namjoon alone

#shaniac: leave britney alone!!!

the devil: ??

#shaniac: u dont know that video?

john cena: its not 2007 hoseok

#shaniac: its a classic

kim seokjin, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: i saw taehyung today

kim namjoon: he was in the library when i was

kim namjoon: he looks pretty upset nd pissed

kim namjoon: n when i tried to talk to him he kinda blew me off

kim namjoon: should i tell jimin?

kim seokjin: i would. hes prob upset because of the kid thing

kim seokjin: nd its better to talk now then let tae build it up and explode

kim namjoon: ur right. im gonna tell him now

kim namjoon, park jimin

kim namjoon: hi jimin

park jimin: hey hyung!!

kim namjoon: i just wanted to tell u that i saw tae today and he was really upset and pissed

park jimin: what why?? where did u see him?

kim namjoon: the library

kim namjoon: nd prob because of the kid thing

kim namjoon: like jimin i dont mean to take his side but u just got mad at him for making jokes nd he was really understanding

kim namjoon: but u were making jokes and arent being understanding

park jimin: :( i kno im sorry i like joking with kookie nd i forget it can upset him

kim namjoon: i know jimin, just tell tae that

park jimin: i will, thanks for tellimg me hyungie!

kim namjoon: ur welcome :)

anal kings

john cena: the moon landing was fake

john cena: fuck u nasa

john cena: u black holed bitch

park jimin, kim taehyung

park jimin: taetae?

kim taehyung: hey jimin

park jimin: i jsut wanted to say im sorry :(

kim taehyung: for what?

park jimin: for making those jokes with kookie nd saying he was our kids new dad :/

park jimin: im just joking u know

kim taehyung: well ye lmao i was joking too when i was saying shit yet it made u upset

kim taehyung: nd i understood and stopped making those jokes even tho i didnt think it was a bog deal

kim taehyung: bc they made u upset

park jimin: i know...i will stop joking with kookie too!

kim taehyung: jimin u’ve said that before yet u still do lmao

park jimin: this time i really will!

kim taehyung: why dont u understand how they make me feel?

park jimin: no i know! of course it makes u upset when i talk with kookie like that

park jimin: but i love you taehyung and ur my boyfriend

kim taehyung: yeah i know jimin

kim taehyung: but it pisses me off - actually its not what u say that pisses me off

park jimin: wait what?

kim taehyung: it pisses me off that u let jungkook talk to u that way

kim taehyung: he says shit that only i should say to u

park jimin: ok ill tell him to stop then!

kim taehyung: u know i thik he likes u

park jimin:..lol no hes just playing

park jimin: hes like my brother

kim taehyung: doesnt matter i think he has feelings for u

kim taehyung: like he passes it off as joking

kim taehyung: but idk

park jimin: well….i mean..i dont like him back

kim taehyung: i know it jsut makes me angry

kim taehyung: lol but whatever i gotta get to class

kim taehyung: ttyl

park jimin: wait taehyung!! why r u still mad??

park jimin, kim namjoon, kim seokjin, jung hoseok, min yoongi

min yoongi: why r there so many chats its too much

park jimin: hyungs i really need help

park jimin: idk what to do

kim seokjin: r u okay jimin??

jung hoseok: where r u?

park jimin: nothing like that…

kim namjoon: taehyung?

park jimin: yes

park jimin: *screenshot*

park jimin: do u think kookie likes me??

park jimin: nd i apolgized idk why hes still mad at me!

jung hoseok: i dont think jungkook likes u i think hes just playing

min yoongi: ye the kid likes to be a brat

min yoongi: he likes to piss off taehyung

kim seokjin: maybe taehyung should talk with jungkook if it upsets him that much?

kim namjoon: i dont think hes mad at you as he is mad at the situation

kim namjoon: like frustrated

park jimin: what more can i do??

kim seokjin: maybe just wait for him to cool off

kim seokjin: you’ll see him tonight right?

park jimin: i mean yeah..we live together…

kim namjoon: so when he gets home u can sit down and have a long chat

park jimin: ok ur right, thanks hyungs!

jung hoseok: ur welcome

min yoongi: u didnt help

jung hoseok: neither did u

min yoongi: -_-

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cutie on duty: guys im scared

john cena: why whats going on?

the devil: where are you

cutie on duty: taehyung didnt come home...and his last class ended like 4hrs ago..

cutie on duty: ive tried calling and texting but he wont answer

cutie on duty: where is he?? do u think hes okay?

#shaniac: im sure hes fine minni

cutie on duty: can u guys pls try to call him? and ask?

big bad boyfriend: will do

anal kings

john cena: no answer

the devil: same here

#shaniac: same

big bad boyfriend: ^

nam june: didnt answer me either

cutie on duty: ugh guys im scared

the devil: im sure hes safe jimin

cutie on duty: i know but im also scared cause i dont like being at the apartment all alone

cutie on duty: especially at night

cutie on duty: its scary

john cena: i can come and sleepover min

cutie on duty: no jungkook! its okie!

nam june: kookie stay at home u have class tomorrow

nam june: jin could u pick me up? and we can sleep over at jimin’s? if u dont ahve classes?

big bad boyfriend: nope im free tomorrow. i’ll pack a bag and pick u up in like half an hour

big bad boyfriend: ok?

nam june: great. is that ok jimin?

cutie on duty: yes hyungie’s thank you!!!

kim taehyung, jeon jungkook

jeon jungkook: hey where the hell are you?

anal kings

#shaniac: any tae updates minni?

cutie on duty: no :/

cutie on duty: joon and jin are here tho! so its not scary!

the devil: ok good

the devil: if u need us let us know

cutie on duty: ok :)

kim taehyung, min yoongi

min yoongi: just wondering where you are

min yoongi: let me know

operation: namjin

cutie on duty: i know i have my own crisis going on but...ya’ll

john cena: ??? what is it

cutie on duty: a namjin moment

#shaniac: give me those sweet deets

cutie on duty: jin hyung suggested we watch a movie together

cutie on duty: junk food and blankets and everything!

john cena: what movie?

cutie on duty: bring it on

the devil: unromantic

cutie on duty: and halfway thru i look over and joon and jin r cuddling!

#shaniac: SCREECH

john cena:....thank you god

the devil: what type of cuddling

cutie on duty: they r on the couch and jin has his arm over joon’s shoulder and joon is leaning his head against jin’s chest

#shaniac: tbh ive seen jin’s chest...he’s fucking solid

john cena: agreed

#shaniac: ive been blessed

cutie on duty: its so cute but makes me miss tae :(

john cena: u just made this shit sad now hyung

john cena: pls keep this a namjin zone

park jimin, kim taehyung

park jimin: taehyung its ok if ur mad but please come back

park jimin: or tell me where you are??

park jimin: bc i dont know and its already rlly late

park jimin: if u come back in the middle of the night dont be alarmed but jin and joon r sleeping over they’re going to be in the living room

park jimin: ok

park jimin: i love you

operation: namjin

cutie on duty: ill hold back my freak out to give u this update

cutie on duty: namjoon and seokjin slept together

john cena: AT UR HOUSE??

#shaniac: what happened to manners nowadays am i right??

the devil:...what

cutie on duty: NO NOT THAT SLEPT

cutie on duty: i mean actual sleep

cutie on duty: like i woke up n walked to the living room and they were squished on the couch

john cena: DETAILS. A FULL PLAY BY PLAY. A PAINTING AND DIAGRAM AND FLOW CHART

cutie on duty: one word: spooning

cutie on duty: namjoon is the little spoon

cutie on duty: seokjin’s arms are wrapped around him and he’s touching his tummy

cutie on duty: so cute

the devil; he better keep his hands where i can see them

#shaniac: but how can u see them?? when u arent even there??

the devil: irrelevant. i know

the devil: min yoongi sees all

anal kings

the devil: what did u mean by freakout?

#shaniac: yeah did taehyung come home?

cutie on duty:...no

cutie on duty: :(

john cena: did he at least message you??

cutie on duty: kookie no!!

cutie on duty: he hasnt responded to anything!!

cutie on duty: idk what to do like…

cutie on duty: is he dead???

cutie on duty: is he leaving me???

big bad boyfriend: jimin i doubt he’s dead

nam june: and there’s no way he’s leaving you

the devil: if he was the way hes doing it is shitty and i will beat his ass

cutie on duty: so u think its a possibility???

the devil: shit no

john cena: jimin hyung he’s not leaving you

john cena: hes jsut angry

cutie on duty: he can be angry at home!!

cutie on duty: and i want to talk abut it!

#shaniac: thats mature min, its taehyung who isnt being mature

#shaniac: fucking ignoring problems like lmao is he in middle school?

nam june: hoseok calm down

#shaniac: nah b im being honest

big bad boyfriend:...he’s right, namjoon ah

cutie on duty: pls let me know if he contacts any of u!! i have to go to class so ttyl!!

john cena: will do jimin

kim taehyung, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: its okay if u dont want to talk to me

kim namjoon: or even if u dont want to talk to jimin

kim namjoon: but just let him know where u are?

kim namjoon: please

Chapter Text

kim taehyung, jeon jungkook

jeon jungkook: im tired of ur shit where are you?

jeon jungkook: ur hurting jimin a lot

anal kings

cutie on duty: anyone wanna get breakfast??

john cena: where?

cutie on duty: im going to the coffee shop near campus

cutie on duty: the one thats made up like the one from will and grace

the devil: sorry im already in class

big bad boyfriend: me too

#shaniac: i can come! ill head over now

nam june: i can too

cutie on duty: yay!

john cena: buy me something

cutie on duty: what do u want?

john cena: everything bagel with cream cheese

nam june: kookie and i have a class in the same building i can bring it then

john cena: swag

nam june: nevermind im not buying you shit

john cena: less swag

kim namjoon, jung hoseok, jeon jungkook, min yoongi, kim seokjin

jung hoseok: we have a situation

min yoongi: ??

kim seokjin: everything ok?

kim namjoon: no

kim namjoon: everything is not ok

kim seokjin: are you okay joon??

jung hoseok: he is but jimin is not

jung hoseok: jimin ate three bagels

kim namjoon: and a more-whipped cream-than-coffee drink

jung hoseok: so everything is not ok

min yoongi: o fuck

jeon jungkook: lmao guys

jeon jungkook: im rlly pissed at taehyung hyung

min yoongi: so am i

kim seokjin: has anyone talked to him??

jung hoseok: nope

kim namjoon: nah

min yoongi: no

jung hoseok: i think we have to do some schemin

min yoongi: doesnt sound good

jung hoseok: no listen

jung hoseok: we have to entice taehyung out of whatever hole hes fucking in

kim seokjin: nd how do we do that?

jung hoseok: just wait my children

kim seokjin, jung hoseok, min yoongi, jeon jungkook, kim namjoon, park jimin

jung hoseok: jimin we’re gonna scheme

park jimin: ??why

jeon jungkook: give up the act we know u ate 3 bagels

park jimin: U SNITCHES

jung hoseok: we have to make taehyung initiate contact

jung hoseok: and i have an idea

min yoongi: u and ideas are always bad

jeon jungkook: what do u want to do?

jung hoseok: jimin

park jimin: yes??

kim seokjin: im nervous for sum reason lmao

kim namjoon: me too aha

jung hoseok: u need to go to anal kings and say someone broke in

jung hoseok: like u came home and eveything was messed up

jung hoseok: and ur scared

park jimin: hobi hyung i cant do that!!

kim seokjin: thats fucking extreme hoseok

jung hoseok: yeah well taehyung literally hasnt talked to anyone

jung hoseok: its been like 2 days

jung hoseok: im worried and tired of his shit

min yoongi: tbh me too

min yoongi: i kind of say go with hobi on this one

jung hoseok: let me just screenshot this for later

kim namjoon: jungkook u should then say ur going over to be with jimin

jeon jungkook: why?

kim namjoon: just do it

jeon jungkook:..um fine

park jimin: did u forget u need me  for this plan to happen?

jung hoseok: dont u want tae to talk to you?

park jimin: yes of course!

min yoongi: then do it

park jimin: what if it backfires?

park jimin: like tae gets mad or something?

kim seokjin: hes already mad

kim seokjin: and tbh this is half his fault

kim seokjin: if he jsut talked to u instead of ran away

park jimin:..when should i do this?

jung hoseok: later today, when u get home from class

park jimin: fine

anal kings

cutie on duty: um guys??

cutie on duty: im rlly scared idk what to do

cutie on duty: something happened

nam june: jimin whats wrong

cutie on duty: i think someone broke into the house..

the devil: what do u mean?

john cena: jimin r u ok!?

cutie on duty: idk everything is torn up all the doors r open

cutie on duty: all my clothes were thrown everywhere

john cena: get out

cutie on duty: what?

john cena: u dont know if he’s still there get out of the house and wait outside

john cena: ill come to u and make sure hes gone

cutie on duty: no kookie im scared

#shaniac: listen to jungkook jimin and wait outside for him

cutie on duty:..i want taehyung

kim taehyung, park jimin

kim taehyung: jimin listen to jungkook and go outside

kim taehyung: wait for me im coming

park jimin: taehyung??

kim taehyung: baby are you okay? are you hurt?

park jimin: dont call me baby

kim taehyung: jimin this isnt the time

kim taehyung: someone jsut broke into our home

park jimin: no they didnt

park jimin: and is it really “our” home??

kim taehyung: what do u mean no?

park jimin: no one broke in we were all lying

park jimin: because we - I - wanted to get ur attention

kim taehyung: jimin are you fucking kidding me?

kim taehyung: i almsot had a fucking heart attck

park jimin: uve been mia for 2 days and didnt come home

park jimin: so sorry ihad to take drastic measures

kim taehyung: this is fucking unbelievable

park jimin: what uve been doing is unbelievable!

park jimin: i know u were upset with the jokes nd everything and i was willing to talk it out with you

park jimin: really sit down adn talk it through

park jimin: but then u g awayw and dont respond to anyone and dont come back to the house?

park jimin: i didnt know where u were!!

park jimin: i was really scared taehyung!

kim taehyung: fuck i guess im really doing this here

kim taehyung: like this

park jimin: taehyung please dont..

kim taehyung: i was only going to come home late that day - at first i needed t just cool off because i wasnt mad at you i was mad at the situation

kim taehyung: but then i realized something

kim taehyung: and the second day i went to ur parents house

park jimin: taehyung what why??

kim taehyung: i asked them for their blessing

kim taehyung: and i bought a ring

kim taehyung: and i made reservations for a venue i hope you’ll like

park jimin:..taehyung

kim taehyung: and i cant belive im doing this through text

kim taehyung: but jimin marry me

kim taehyung: i mean WILL you marry me?

kim taehyung: i know it was shitty to be mia for 2 days and i know i put u through shit but idk

kim taehyung: park jimin i love you so much

kim taehyung: baby?

park jimin:....yes

park jimin: yes ill marry you oh my god

park jimin: please come home right now i need u to hug me and give me the ring

kim taehyung: so u can take pictures to show everyone?

park jimin: hehe u know me so well

kim taehyung: <3

park jimin: <33333

anal kings

cutie on duty: *picture sent*

nam june: is that what i think it is

john cena: hold the FUCK UP

the devil: how did this go from angst to fluff in the matter of hours

#shaniac: HOLY SHIT MY WOBFWGWGWG

big bad boyfriend: ur engaged now???

taetae: ahah yeah

the devil: oh hello taehyung

the devil: long time no see

taetae: hyungs and kookie im really sorry ok

taetae: i know i fucked up nd i dont expect it all to be erased just because i proposed

john cena: as long as u know

john cena: i got my eyes on u

taetae: lol i missed ya kook

john cena: ew tmi

cutie on duty: isnt the ring pretty?

nam june: its really nice jimin

nam june: im really happy for you two

the devil: me too

kim namjoon, kim seokjin

kim namjoon: do u think jimin forgave tae too quick?

kim seokjin: i mean thye probably talked a lot more personally

kim seokjin: and i doubt jimin is just gonna let it go bc he proposed

kim seokjin: and i think taehyung knows that too

kim namjoon: ur right i just dont want jimin to get hurt

kim seokjin: i know hes too cute ahha

kim namjoon: ahah exactly :)

kim seokjin: those two will always be together, anyway

kim namjoon: yeah they were like, made for each other

kim seokjin: yes ahaha

kim seokjin: oh and just reminding you that im picking you up tomorrow at 7

kim namjoon: ok can’t wait! :D

kim seokjin: me either sweetie :)

Chapter Text

anal kings

cutie on duty: how do i get on say yes to the dress

john cena: jimin please tell me u arent wearing a dress to the wedding

big bad boyfriend: why cant he? dont tell me ur one of those “boys cant wear dresses” dudes

john cena: wtf no fuck gender norms

john cena: but if we’re being honest jimin honey u woulndt look good in a wedding dress

cutie on duty: what did u just say to me

taetae: jimin would look good in anything

taetae: if u want to wear a dress jimin im fine wit it

cutie on duty: thanks tae <3

cutie on duty: but nah i dont want to wear a dress

cutie on duty: maybe say yes to the dress would compromise and take me tux shopping instead

big bad boyfriend: go on tlc.com and apply

cutie on duty: o u can??

big bad boyfriend: lmao idk i was just saying

cutie on duty: aw man

nam june: i have an idea

nam june: we shoul go together!

nam june: me n u jimin! it’ll be fun we can make a day out of it

#shaniac: aw the baby boys having a day out!

the devil: keep this gc pure for the love of god

the devil: please for my sanity

cutie on duty: i love that joonie hyung!!

cutie on duty: we should do it on a weekend or friday so u can sleep over!

john cena: what about the rest of us? what are we chopped liver?

nam june: well its up to jimin since he’s the one getting married

cutie on duty: ur all invited!!

cutie on duty: except tae

taetae: :(

cutie on duty: dont u want it to be a surpise

john cena: im sure ull have a surpise for him later that night too

john cena: if u catch my drift ;)

cutie on duty: jungkook stop

cutie on duty: im a married man now

taetae: what if everyone splits up and if u want to go with jimin go with him and if u want to go with me come with me

#shaniac: no i will not choose sides

#shaniac: i will not let this family be ripped apart

cutie on duty: no its okay everyone come with me and set another day for everyone to go with tae

cutie on duty: sound good?

#shaniac: im in

john cena: me too

the devil: fine ill come

cutie on duty: dis gonna be lit!!

the devil: stop tryna be hip with the kids

kim namjoon, kim seokjin

kim namjoon: hey hyung just wanted to say i had a great time last night!

kim seokjin: glad u had fun

kim namjoon: i have a break between classes rn, r u free?

kim seokjin: sure, do u want to meet at the cafeteria?

kim namjoon: ok! see u there! :)

kim seokjin: see u babe

operation: namjin

taetae: I SAW

taetae: WITH MY OWN TWO EYES

taetae: SWEET SWEET NAMJIN

john cena: 

john cena: WHERE

taetae: they r betraying us…

the devil: how??

tatae: they r going on dates without telling us..

the devil: they dont need to tell us??

john cena: um yes they do tf

john cena: we need to know everyhting

#shaniac: that namjin development

#shaniac: we need it

the devil: whatever weirdos

the devil: tell us what u saw tae

taetae: they r at the cafeteria

taetae: sitting at a table nd eating

john cena:...thats it?

taetae: ok guys we need to help namjin

taetae: they r sitting ACROSS fromeach other

taetae: not even next to

#shaniac: smh and we thought jin had game

the devil: what did u except?

the devil: full on exhibitionism?

taetae: a lil making out maybe

 john cena changed *operation:namjin* to *get namjin to bone 2k17*

the devil: no

john cena: shrug emoji

kim namjoon, unknown

unknown: i saw u with kim seokjin today?

unknown: are you together?

kim namjoon: who is this?

unknown: dont think u know me n it doesnt really matter

unknown: are u dating seokjin?

kim namjoon: im not telling you?? ur a stranger?

unknown: not rlly i got to school with u

unknown: and i know seokjin

unknown: prettty well

kim namjoon: ??

unknown: tell me if ur dating i dont want to keep having sex with a taken guy lol

kim namjoon:...

kim namjoon: sex? what?

unknown: uh…..

unknown: ask him srry

unknown: gotta blast

kim namjoon, min yoongi, jung hoseok

kim namjoon: *screenshot*

kim namjoon: what does this mean lol

min yoongi:  jung hoseok i will kill u

jung hoseok: maybe a jealous ex?

min yoongi: thats fucking bullshit and you know it

kim namjoon: what do u guys know that i dont??

anal kings

big bad boyfriend: no this is the last time, i told u, so be a good boy and wait for me, ok?

john cena: ya’ll already sexting??

big bad boyfriend:..uh..shit

the devil: u really have fucking nerve kim seokjin

taetae: o shit whats going on??

#shaniac: oh my god seokjin

get namjin to bone 2k17

john cena: i feel like namjin is burning

taetae: its about to explode like pompeii

john cena: too soon

anal kings

big bad boyfriend: fuck guys this isnt...its not what it looks like

the devil: shut the fuck uo

the devil: do u know ur fucking fwb texted namjoon??

the devil: he asked if u were dating bc he didnt want to be fucking a taken man

the devil: so fuck u

big bad boyfriend: yoongi shut up

nam june: a fwb??

big bad boyfriend: namjoon i can explain

big bad boyfriend: but privately

the devil: nah ur gonna do it right here

#shaniac: might as well come clean

cutie on duty: i told u so @#shaniac

nam june: ??i dont get it lol

the devil: hes fucking other ppl namjoon ah

big bad boyfriend: yoongi can u fucking butt out?

nam june:...uh..okay i gues..lol

nam june: i mean we never said we were boyfriends so..i guess its fine

the devil: its fucking not

nam june: he never sai he want to be my bf

big bad boyfriend: cause i wanted to take it slow namjoon

the devil: so u fuck other ppl in the meantime

#shaniac: yoongi really lt him explain

the devil: fuck u too hoseok

big bad boyfriend: not bc i dont want to date u namjoon, i do!

big bad boyfriend: i was going to stop anyway, i was putting an end to it tonight

john cena: after u fucked one last time?

big bad boyfriend: i care about u namjoon the most

nam june: do u just want to have ssex with me?

big bad boyfriend: no! of course not! i like you for u! i like hanging out and going on dates

the devil: not enough to stop fucking others

nam june: its not like we r boyfriends anyway

nam june: so its not like ur cheating or anything ahha

nam june: i have to do hw, ttyl!

big bad boyfriend: wait namjoon!

min yoongi, kim namjoon

kim namjoon: hyung can i please come over?

min yoongi: yes do u need me to come get u?

kim namjoon: yes i dont think i can walk thre

kim namjoon: i cant even breathe lmao

min yoongi: im coming right now

anal kings

taetae: u dun goofed seokjin

big bad boyfriend: shut up i know