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Even Bruce could be pushed to his limits every now and then though.
"Tony, enough. Could you shut up already before I get 'angry'?"
Tony jerks as if kicked, every muscle tense. He stares up at the cross-armed Bruce and for a moment, he can't breath. He feels sick with fear and betrayal because Bruce was his friend, Bruce had a temper but he would never-
He blinks.
And Bruce's exasperated look is twisting into worry.
"Tony, I-"
"You were joking." Tony interrupts hurriedly, forcing the words that felt blocky and rough on his tongue. He grins as big as he can, enough to make his cheeks hurt and his chapped lips sting with the stretch. Then he throws himself towards Bruce with arms wide open and delighted laughter and pulls the other man into hug.
"Bruce, my lovely ball of rage. You made a joke! I'm so proud of you. I was worried that all the time you were spending with Captain Boring was ruining your sense of humor."
Bruce pulls away and his worried expression is chased off with a sigh.
"Tony, really. Why are the two of you fighting this time? Can't you figure out some other way to deal with each other already?"
Tony pouts.
"I have things figured out with Steve perfectly already. He's a tightass who I have already generously allowed to live in my tower rent free I might add and who needs to loosen up already."
"Tony-"
"Nope!" Tony chirps and spins around, grabbing his cup of coffee and beating a hasty retreat out of Bruce's lab before the other man can lecture him once again about how he needs to start being nicer to Stars and Stripes.
He slips into the bathroom down the hall. He sets the coffee down on the counter and grins at the mirror.
"What a joke."
He grins and grins and he's so grateful and relieved he can still say it out loud that he feels shakey with it.
Steve is too polite to tell anyone to 'shut up' but Tony drives him to it anyways. Drives Steve up and down the walls because he does the same to Tony. Picks at him until Steve is so angry that he turns to Tony with a flushed face and clenched fists and shouts until he storms off to destroy some more sandbags (Tony now has a standing order for the manufacturing company).
Sometimes Tony shouts back. Sometimes he chokes on the syllables that have nowhere to go, his pulse racing and breath catching.
But they'd done so before 'shut up' was ever said so they obviously don't count.
"Goddamn it Stark! Why can't you just shut up and listen for once?"
Tony bares his teeth in a silent snarl and shoves away from the table that he'd been arguing with Steve across.
Make me. Tony wants to say. Make me.
(Except what if Steve does?)
He stomps towards the door but Steve is suddenly there in front of him and crowding him back towards the table.
Steve's still shouting about something, demanding answers but Tony can't hear the questions over the ringing in his ears or the jackhammering of his heart. He's aware. Too aware of Captain America in his space, looming over him and muscles straining against what was the obvious desire to make Tony shut up. Too aware of the fact that Steve can bend steel bars with bare hands and punch through concrete in a pinch.
(How easily could he break Tony?)
He keeps his expression fixed in a snarl but he can't bring himself to meet Steve's eyes, can't focus on his anger flushed face or loud words. It's simply too impossible to look away from the fists at Steve's sides, jerking up with every few words as if wanting to beat them into him. After seconds and an eternity, Steve finally stomps off to the gym and Tony goes down to his lab where he doesn't have to talk to anyone for the rest of the day.
Maybe it was the fact that Thor was there the least. Or maybe it was because Thor was Thor. Either way, the not so mythological Norse myth had never actually said shut up to Tony.
Turns out he still wanted Tony to shut up.
"Seriously Tony, if you don't shut up now I'm going to shank you. Shank you hear?"
"Whatever birdbrains. This movie is absolutely horrible. The science is so wrong it makes me want to cry. How you people can stamffff"
Tony makes an outraged sound into one large meaty palm.
"Hush, we would watch this in peace my friend." Thor murmurs quietly, warm and faintly admonishing. He presses his hand more firmly against Tony's mouth as if searing it shut.
Tony glances around the room and finds the others all already reabsorbed in the trashy movie playing on screen. Eventually, Thor removes his hand with a quick warning glance. Not that it was necessary.
Tony knows when to shut up.
Dummy brings him a smoothie. Tony takes it and places it next to the five other smoothies that Dummy had brought to him. Then he goes back to working on working on the joints of the new Mark XV.
Five minutes later, he looks up to find Dummy making yet another smoothie. Tony pulls a face as he watches Dummy add motor oil to the mix. Sighing to himself, he stands up and walks over to stop his overeager helper bot.
He takes the blender from Dummy and shakes his head. Dummy whirs a bit at him and reaches for the blender again. Tony steps away and Dummy follows. He shakes his head harder but Dummy simply whirs in confusion and keeps reaching for the blender.
"Sir? Is everything alright?" Jarvis asks. "Sir?"
Tony tries to tell Jarvis that he's fine. Tries to tell Dummy to stop. That he doesn't want another smoothie, especially one with motor oil but he can't...he can't find the words. He can't remember the shape of his lips around the vowels or the way his tongue is supposed to move to form consonants. He can't talk. He can't-
Jarvis calls Steve who calls Bruce who calls both Pepper and SHIELD. Eventually, Tony ends up in SHIELD medical.
They ask him question after question and he nods and shrugs but his lips stay pressed shut.
The others say the last they heard you talk was movie night. Have you talked since then?
Tony hunches in on himself and shakes his head no.
Did something happen after the movie? Or maybe during? Anything out of place?
He shrugs and shakes his head.
Tony has this happened before? Tony? Tony?
They place a pen and paper in front of him, he picks up the pen and stares down at the paper for almost ten minutes before putting it back down. He stares up at the ceiling and wishes there were tiles to count. After a while, they stop bothering him and go back to running every test for magical and physical disturbances that they know. As expected, they all turn up negative.
It's nearly midnight when they finally leave him alone and Tony's so fucking tired when Thor creeps in.
"My friend," he begins in a muted voice. Tony shifts to stare at him in the dimmed lights. Thor's shoulders are slumped and there's no Mjolnir in sight.
"My friend," Thor begins again, wringing his hands, "If I have in anyway caused your silence by my actions during the movie, I apologize. I meant no harm nor did I intend for you to- for this to happen. Only tell me what I might do to make amends and I, Thor Odinson, will do my uttermost to fulfill your request. I swear it."
Tony cannot draw his gaze away from Thor's hands.
"Anthony?"
Thor raises a hand towards him beseechingly and suddenly Tony can feel the warm press of flesh covering not only his mouth but also his nose.
His hands fly to his face to pull away the smothering hands but then there's someone pinning them down. He blinks and Thor's suddenly on top of him, booming at him to shut up shut up shut up.
Thor's dirty gold locks fall around them like a curtain and Tony's world narrows to Thor's eyes and voice and those hands like burning brands against his face and around his wrists and Tony doesn't even have the air to scream. Not that he could anyways.
Lights flood the room and finally finally Thor is gone. People in medical white coats and black SHIELD uniforms surround him and Tony wants to beg them to let him breath but he has neither the words nor air. They scream at him. A dozen voices all screaming the same thing over and over again.
shut up shut up shut up
But he already has. He's been good. He's been so good. He hasn't said a word. Hasn't even made a sound despite how much he wanted to scream but they're still punishing him. Why are they still punishing him?
He struggles to pull away the hands, struggles for air but someone pins his hands down again and this time he can't even see who.
It's a almost a relief when the world finally goes dark.
Pepper arrives after lunch all prim and proper in a Gucci suit and five inch Jimmy Choos. He steals her pen and the last page of the quarterly summary and this time he manages to remember the words to write even if he can't remember how to say them.
I want to go home. He hesitates and then puts pen to paper again. Is Rhodey back yet?
Pepper reads it and presses her lips so tight that Tony worries she'll forget how to speak as well. But then she nods and promises, "You'll be back by tonight. And I'll find Rhodey."
That night, Tony wakes from a restless sleep in his own bed to find Rhodey sprawled in a chair at his bedside. Thank god for Pepper Potts.
"Hey kid." Rhodey growls softly, voice rough with exhaustion and worry. His appearance matched, his uniform as wrinkled and dusty as Tony had ever seen it.
Rhodey. Tony tries to choke out, almost weeping for relief. Rhodey
The furrow between Rhodey's brow deepens and he stumbles out of his chair to gather Tony up in his arms.
"Hey, I'm here for you. You're safe. I promise. I've got you. I've got you Tony."
Tony knows he's trembling like a leaf as he clings to his friend. There's a small voice in the back of his head sneering at how pathetic he was. What a failure as a superhero. What a failure as a Stark. God, his father would be so ashamed. But at the moment, there was only Rhodey's solid warmth and steady voice and listening to him, Tony could almost remember how to do the same.
He's asleep again before he realizes it.
Rhodey's there still when Tony wakes again, whispering furiously at the small crowd of Avengers hovering just outside the doorway.
"Go fuck yourselves. I don't care if none of you knew. I've read your files and I know who you are and what you people can do and somehow not a single fucking one of you noticed that you were pushing him towards a goddamn panic attack?! Get the fuck out!"
They leave and Rhodey turns back to him, grimacing when he realizes that Tony was awake and had totally just heard him bitching out the Avengers including Captain America who had been Rhodey's idol since elementary school. Tony's not sure if he's comforted or embarrassed by Rhodey defending him like that.
He does feel a little bad that they got bitched out like that though. They really hadn't known though. He'd had lots of practice making it not a thing and it was such stupid thing anyways that the other Avengers couldn't really be blamed for accidentally trodding all over what was just another of his many issues.
"Rho-rho-"
He keeps choking on the words, frustration and shame/fear/guilt making them stick in his throat. Rhodey understands anyways (he always understands even when he doesn't). He clenches his jaw and walks over to grab Tony in a tight hug again.
"I don't care," he repeats, "I don't care if they didn't know. They should have figured it out and they hurt you"
"Ca-can't-can't-"
"You're Tony Stark. You can do anything."
Tony closes his eyes again.
Rhodey has to leave the next day but swears to be back in two weeks.
The other Avengers circle delicately around Tony with guilty expressions, drifting close one by one with apologies and sometimes food (which were really apologies too). Thor leaves a single golden apple and even Natasha drops by with a bowl of microwaved chicken soup. The apple tastes like summer and Tony feels oddly refreshed afterwards. The chicken soup was awful.
Steve stops by one night empty handed but eyes burning with rage and fear.
Who? he asks Who was it? Who hurt you?
Tony is tempted for a moment to say that Steve had hurt him. That it was Steve and Natasha and Thor and Bruce and Clint. That they'd hurt him deeper than he'd known they could and they hadn't even meant to. He knows that's not what Steve's asking though.
Who? Steve asks again.
For both their sakes, Tony does not tell him. Steve leaves and does not ask again.
"I'm, I'm T-t-tony SssStark. I'm To-tony Sta-rk."
He repeats the words to himself over and over again, taking Rhodey's words to heart and relearning them for himself. He practices saying it outloud to Dummy and Jarvis and Butterfingers in his workshop while building Mark XVIII and falls asleep muttering them at night. Sometimes, Tony wakes himself whispering it.
Syllable by syllable he rebuilds his voice. And when he finally feels like he has the hang of it, he puts on a suit (the cloth kind), neatens his hair as best as he can and heads to the kitchen where Bruce, Thor, and Pepper were busy preparing breakfast. They look up at him in surprise and he throws his best razzle-dazzle grin.
"Tony Stark at your service. You guys miss me?"
Pepper nearly knocks him over with her hug. Bruce beams at him with relief and Thor cries, though he assures everyone that it's all tears of joy. Word somehow spreads (Tony suspects Bruce, he'd seen that cellphone) and the SHIELD duo pop up before Tony even finishes his scrambled eggs. Tony hums silently to himself while Pepper chats about her upcoming meeting in LA with Natasha and Clint fidgets excessively in his chair, shooting nervous expectant looks at Tony every other second. How that man became a secret agent sniper, Tony will never understand.
He hands his plate over to Bruce in a silent request for more eggs. Bruce returns him a full plate with a side of exasperation and a nod towards the duo as if to say 'get on with it already'.
Tony sighs. The love fades so quickly.
"You can relax Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
"Oh thank fuck!" Clint collapses into his seat. Natasha doesn't even skip a beat in her conversation with Pepper but Tony totally catches the little quirk at the corner of her mouth so whatever.
"Awww Hawkass, you do care!" Tony coos and bites back giggles when Clint flips him off.
"Oh shu-" Clints face twists in dismay and, thanks to Natasha's elbow, pain. "Sorry. Bad habit." He mutters looking down at his clenched hands.
"You can say it. I'm not that fragile." Tony rolls his eyes. "It looks like it's causing you physical pain to not be a smartass and I know you don't mean anything by it."
Clint's gaze snaps back to glare at Tony.
"We're friends. And it obviously means something to you."
Tony looks down and pokes at the eggs. Suddenly, he's not all that hungry anymore. Natasha and Pepper start talking rather loudly about Hammer's latest appeal attempt. Bruce pointedly goes back to scrambling more eggs and Tony can sense Thor off to the side, just barely restraining himself from pulling in Tony into a comforting hug in case it sets him off again like it did in medical.
He looks up when the conversation volume suddenly dips and sees Clint leaning forward over the table with a serious look.
"I..." Clint's expression is somewhere between resignation and resolution, "I ran off and joined the circus when I was eight. My mentor there taught me to shoot apples and to shoot people."
Everyone falls silent to stare at them, waiting for Tony's response. He tries desperately to think of something good.
"Did you wear circus tights?"
The others frown and roll their eyes. Clint just laughs and swears to booby trap his workshop with glitter bomb if the pictures ever got out.
(Later, Tony will find them and paste them all over the den. Totally worth the glitter in his toolbox. Purple tights)
Breakfast ends and the others drift off to their own things except for Thor who insists that Tony explains every scientific inaccuracy and/or impossibility in the latest episode of Eureka. Tony stumbles a bit, the words still clumsy in his mouth. Thor does not attempt to rush or interrupt him though. He simply waits and listens, his attention almost a physical presence.
He also does not touch Tony and clearly telegraphs every movement.Tony is pathetically grateful.
Tony's trying to explain his theory regarding the Artifact in section 5 when Steve bursts into the room, obviously just back from a run. He's dressed in track shorts and a thin white shirt that's almost see through and looking wild-eyed at Tony.
"Tony..." He exhales, terrible as a prayer, "Tony, you."
His gaze burns and Tony can't look away.
"Tony please."
Tony swallows hard. Just like he practiced.
"Hi Steve."
By the time they finally manage to look away from each other, Thor has wandered off.
"I..." Steve clears his throat. Tony holds his breath expectantly. "I've, uh, missed your voice. It sounds like a good voice."
Tony bites his lip and refuses to laugh at Steve's awkwardness. It wasn't as if he was being much better. He looks at Steve who fidgets, cheeks flushed. When Steve glances back at him shyly, he sees Tony's amusement anyways and huffs.
"Oh alright. Laugh already."
And Tony does. He laughs until his sides ache and he can't catch his breath and when he's done, he feels heavy and sated like after a good meal. He turns his head to Steve who's still standing in the same place and grinning like a fool.
"I've missed talking to you." Tony admits quietly and Steve simply responds, "Me too."
Later, Rhodey will come back and Tony eventually gets him to stop bristling at the other Avengers although Thor gets put back in the doghouse for a while when he catches Thor pinning Tony down during a sparring match and Tony freaking out. That one was Tony's fault though since he was the one that talked Thor into it but on the upside, Tony (mostly) stopped panicking whenever Thor made sudden movements or tried to touch him after a few tries.
Clint slips up a few times and Bruce does once too. They both apologize and Tony waves it off. Like he said, he wasn't really that fragile. They insist on making him apology food anyways so Tony shrugs and accepts because Clint's blinis were delicious and Bruce had the best recipe for quiche.
Natasha never slips up but sometimes she'll give him side look of concern when he's being especially quiet. Pepper will often do the same though she's much more obvious about it. Steve never slips up either.
So really, everything goes back to normal. Tony invents cool shit, lets Pepper run his company, and helps save the world on a biweekly basis with the Avengers.
And if sometimes he wakes up gasping for air, if sometimes he dreams of hands smothering him into silence...
Well, he's got people who he can talk to.
Tony's used to people telling him to shut up or be quiet or any variation thereof. He talks a lot and he's the first to admit how absolutely fucking obnoxious he can be. It's a useful character trait that he's worked hard to cultivate for a multitude of reasons and at this point a deeply ingrained one.
He especially gets told to shut up a lot by the Avengers who have to suffer his constant babbling the most due to the whole living together thing. But it doesn't bother him. Really.
Except when it does.
Clint is probably the one that says it the most with Natasha as a close second. Intellectually, Tony knows that Clint is probably also the one that means it the least which is why it's absolutely ridiculous that Tony's traitorous body insists on flinching at every other cheerful 'shut up' that spills from the archer.
Flinching from Natasha was totally justified though. She has knives everywhere and Tony may or may not have been involved in that incident with the billy goats.
"Stark, shut up already."
Tony sticks his tongue out at Natasha, trying to recapture his train of thoughts and continue his rant about Congressass Meyers. Clint laughs, poking Tony's cheek with his butter knife.
"Yeah, Tony. Shut up or else."
Tony huffs and scrubs vigorously at the cold greasy line left behind. He turns his attention back to his now cold omelet in his mouth, pointedly ignoring the two superspies because they obviously don't deserve his brilliant insights regarding Congress's latest scandal.
He continues to ignore them as they finish their own breakfasts and put their dishes in the sink to soak (Steve had insisted on it, had even called a meeting about 'respect for household cleanliness' and brought out the puppy eyes so now everyone had to pay more attention to shit like soaking the dishes and not leaving torn snack wrappers everywhere).
When they finally leave, he forces himself to loosen the fingers of his left hand from the crumpled newspaper (actual paper, Steve's influence again) that he'd had in his lap and had been reading. He rubs at his cheek, the cold mark from Clint's knife still lingering the way the scars do on bad days. He focuses on breathing nice and easy, his heartbeat drumming steadily along. He was okay.
He opens his mouth to ask Jarvis if Pepper was done with her morning conference call yet and...
Tony swallows and tries again.
And then remembers that he never did get around to finishing the engine upgrades to his Tesla so he wanders down to his garage workshop and does that. An hour later, the Tesla had a shiny new engine and there was no way Pepper's conference call wasn't done yet.
So Tony calls her up and starts yammering to her about how Natasha and Clint don't appreciate his precious wisdom. Pepper sighs and complains about being too busy running a company to be his Agony Aunt. Still, she lets him keep talking and never once tells him to shut up. Not that it would have been a problem if she had.
Bruce, for whatever reasons, doesn't really seem bothered by Tony's constant chattering like everyone else. If anything, he seemed almost relaxed by it even if he often reacted to the actual content of Tony's babbling with scrunched up faces.