Archive of Our Own ^beta

Shinsou leaned his back against the bricks and sighed heavily allowing the smoke to leave his mouth. The taste of nicotine sat heavily on his tongue reminding him how low the quality of the cigarette he’d bummed from the stranger was. He stood in the alleyway with the other smokers of U.A. There weren’t many of them and most were in the support or business classes. Certainly no one from 1-A would be poisoning themselves with the riff-raff, he thought bitterly.

Shinsou knew he had to quit, he’d tried many times over the years but found it a hard habit to break. Especially after rough days of whispers from classmates and un-trusting side long glances…

But that’s what he liked about the others in the unofficial smoker’s club, they never talked. Unless it was to ask for a cig or light. In the hallways they’d avoid eye contact, pass each other as strangers. Shinsou enjoyed that he had a sense of belonging without the pressure of being a disappointment.

It was a few days after the sports festival and the atmosphere in the alley was heavy. Shinsou knew it was because of him. The others didn’t want him there now that they knew what his quirk was. They didn’t want him there because he couldn’t even win a single match against a 1-A student. They didn’t want him there because he was garbage.

It was days like this - the really hard ones, - when he’d recall and lament his first cigarette. It’d been given to him by an older man, maybe in his mid-twenties. Which seemed old to a 12-year-old Shinsou. The man had chased away some of Shinsou’s regular bullies and without any knowledge of how to comfort the crying child gave him a cigarette.

Shinsou knew there was nothing malicious behind the offering, the man just didn’t know what else helped calm someone. Shinsou coughed hard after the first drag and the man had laughed. It was different form the harsh laughter of bullies. This laugh was full and joyous. He taught Shinsou how to smoke properly and sat with the boy most of the afternoon just talking about life. From that point on the taste and smell of a cigarette reminded him of the feeling of being defended and accepted.

Shinsou was brought from his thoughts when someone finally spoke up. He couldn’t say he was surprised by their words.

“We don’t think you should hang out here anymore.”

There was a pregnant pause as Shinsou tried to shrug it off and swallow back the lump in his throat. Not even the rejects wanted him around.

“It’s just…you were amazing at the festival,” Shinsou’s head snapped up, “You could really be something.” The girl paused to take a drag. “And I mean heroes shouldn’t smoke, you can’t help people if you can’t run without coughing or like get lung cancer or something.” She muttered, the smoke leaving her lips as she spoke.

“Yeah, some one trying to save you but they’re huffing and puffing cause they can’t catch a breath doesn’t make a great hero.” The boy to his left added.

“I don’t think they’d let you transfer classes if you didn’t quit.” A third voice chimed in.

Shinsou’s eyes scanned the faces of those around him. Some were shyly glancing away and others were smiling kindly at him. Shinsou looked at the half-smoked cigarette in his hand. He let out an exaggerated sigh and dropped it to the ground, putting the last of the embers out with the toe of his shoe.

“…Thank you.” He said quietly, unsure what else to say. After a moment he added, “Maybe we could all quit, seems like U.A. wouldn’t want any smokers in their classes.” The suggestion felt stupid coming from him. He didn’t know these people’s lives. He had no sway in what they did.

“Well…I have been meaning to quit, no one wants to kiss a girl with yellow teeth.” The girl said forlornly.

“Yeah I know my mom hates trying to get the smell out of my clothes.” The boy to his left chuckled.

“I’d save so much money.” The third person commented dreamily.

“Then it’s decided! We all quit together!!” The girl said enthusiastically. Her energy was contagious and the others agreed excitedly. This would be the last day any of them smoked and they’d work together to keep everyone on track. Shinsou couldn’t pull the smile from his face.

It took a few months but eventually they’d all kept the promise and quit. As they passed one another in the hall way there was no more ignoring. They didn’t just go by Shinsou anymore but would smile and wave to him as they passed. He smiled back every time. It felt good to belong.