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Poor Wayfaring Stranger

Summary:

Out on a mission, Cor Leonis finds a teenager, lost and sick and partway to becoming an MT. Against the advice of all and sundry, he brings him back to Insomnia. There's not a lot of love lost for MTs in the Citadel, but some of its inhabitants may still be young enough to put aside their prejudices.

Notes:

From a prompt on the kinkmeme.

Chapter Text

“What were you thinking?”

The voice sounds angry. He sits and stares at the floor, listening. Angry, definitely. But far away, as well. Two rooms away. That’s safe enough. Two rooms.

“I could hardly leave him there. He’s a kid.”

The other voice – the voice of the one who ordered him to follow – is less angry. Is calm, for the most part. But there’s still a little anger there, bubbling under, and he knows well enough never to assume that something that’s bubbling under won’t eventually bubble over. Still: two rooms away. Safe enough.

“He’s not a child! You don’t know what’s been done to him.”

The one in the room with him is definitely dangerous. Very tall, very broad. But he doesn’t seem to be angry. He just stands in front of the door, silent. He’s watching, but he doesn’t come any closer. If he’d done something wrong, surely the one in the room with him would have corrected him by now? So perhaps it’s not him the voices are angry about.

“I don't want to speak out of turn, your majesty, but you haven’t seen the kid. If you had, perhaps you’d understand a little better.”

“I have no wish to see him.”

There’s a silence, then. He sits as still as he can, slowing his breath so that he can hear as much as possible. Two rooms away is far enough that the voices are on the edge of his hearing, and if they start to speak more quietly, he won’t be able to hear them at all. He feels a sense of dizzying insecurity at the thought.

“Your majesty. It may not be your wish, but I truly think you should.”

Good. It was only that they weren’t speaking. He doesn’t understand their conversation, not at any level deeper than the words, but still. He is here, in this place that he doesn’t recognise. Any world beyond the hard surface of the bench beneath him and the sound of the voices feels blurred and unreal. If he loses the voices, too – he doesn’t know what he’ll do.

And then: footsteps. The voices are coming. And suddenly he doesn’t want to hear them any more. Two rooms away is safe, but now they’re coming closer, and one, at least, is angry. That is not good – not good, not good. He curls his fingers around the bench, feeling somehow that if he can just keep hold of it, this one thing. This one solid thing. Just keep hold.

The door opens, and the silent one steps away. Two new ones enter the room. One is the one who ordered him to follow. The other is older. He has a beard and carries a club. A stick. Or a club. He isn’t sure. This is the angry one, so – so it’s a club.

“Kid,” the one who ordered him to follow says. This one keeps calling him that: kid. He isn’t sure why, but he raises his head. Should he stand? He doesn’t want to stand. If he stands, he will have to let go of the bench.

The new one stands, staring down at him. He lowers his eyes. He looks at the club, the ornate head of it clasped in the new one’s fist. He watches, waiting to see what the new one will do.

“Boy,” the new one says. “Look at me.”

He raises his head again. He doesn’t want to look – it’s never good to look. But it’s never good to disobey, either. So he looks.

The new one looks back at him. He doesn’t look angry. But he sounded angry, before. Now he just looks – stern. Frowning. He reaches out with the hand that isn’t holding the club, but then stops.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

He blinks. Everything in his mind is fog. The only thing that feels real is the bench under his fingers.

“Zero five nine–” he starts, but then – but then the numbers fade into the swirling fog. He frowns, shakes his head. “Zero five–” he says. “Zero five nine – n- nine–”

The numbers won’t come. They aren’t there. Nothing’s there in his mind but darkness. The only thing that’s real is the bench. The bench. He just needs to keep holding onto the bench.

He swallows. The new one looks upset, now. The new one’s upset because he can’t remember his designation. The new one will be even more upset when he realises how much more is gone from his mind than that.

Where has it gone? He doesn’t know. He lowers his eyes again, stares as the new one’s fingers tighten around the club. He scrabbles, desperately, for the next number. Zero five nine– Zero five nine–

“Five!” he says, loud enough to startle himself. “Zero five nine five – uh – uh –” There’s more numbers than that, a lot more. But they won’t come. And the new one is waiting, waiting for him to obey.

He squeezes the bench as hard as he can. “I can’t remember,” he whispers. “I can’t – I’m sorry–”

There’s silence, then. He waits. He keeps his head down, watching the new one’s fingers flexing around the club. But it’s the other one that speaks. The one who ordered him to follow.

“You’re right, your majesty,” he says. “We don’t know what’s been done to him.”

Another silence. Then the new one sighs.

“I cannot have him here. My son is here.”

“I understand.” Neither of them sound angry any more. The new one’s hand is still clenched tight around the club, though. “I’ll take responsbility for him. Whatever it was they were doing, they never finished it. He’s no danger to me.”

A pause. Then the new one speaks. “Very well. I’ll expect a report in the morning.”

“Of course, your majesty.”

The new one turns, then, and the one who has been in the room with him the whole time follows him out. Now it’s just him and the one who ordered him to follow. The one who ordered him to follow finds a chair and sits down in front of him. He has no weapon – no obvious weapon. He doesn’t seem angry.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to tell this one about the swirling darkness in his mind, the grinding misery in his guts, the dizzying feeling that if he lets go of the bench, there’ll be nothing left to tether him to this world.

The one who ordered him to follow nods.

“You got hit pretty hard,” he says. “Sorry about that. We didn’t know – we thought you were –” he pauses. “We’ll find you some new clothes. Maybe a shower. You can stay with me for now.”

He nods. “Yes,” he says. “I understand.” He doesn’t, not really, but he hopes this one won’t realise.

The one who ordered him to follow stares at him for a moment. He keeps his eyes down.

“You’ll need a name,” the one who ordered him to follow says at last. “You don’t have a name at all? Nothing from before they did–” He gestures. “–this to you?”

He doesn’t know what he means by they, or what they are supposed to have done to him. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It starts with – zero five nine five. I know that’s not enough to look it up, I – I don’t know why I can’t remember.” His stomach thrills with fear, and he tries again to find the rest of the numbers, but with no more success than last time.

“It doesn’t matter,” the one who ordered him to follow says. “Hey – hey, listen. Don’t be frightened. It doesn’t matter. We’ll think of something to call you – in the morning.”

He stares, hardly daring to feel the sick relief as it filters through his guts. “It doesn’t matter?” he says.

“No,” the one who ordered him to follow says. “It really doesn’t. You don’t need that number any more. We’ll find something to call you.”

“A new designation?” he asks. He’s never heard of anyone getting a new designation.

“A name,” the one who ordered him to follow says, with heavy emphasis. “We’ll find you a name.” He pauses. “Mine’s Cor, by the way.”

The relief floods through him then, and he lets it. It really doesn’t matter. He doesn’t understand why it doesn’t matter, but that’s not important now. What’s important is making sure this one understands how obedient he is. How grateful.

“Cor,” he says carefully. “I should call you that?”

“You should call me that,” the one who ordered him to follow says. “And you should come with me. Do you need help?”

He’s so grateful that he stumbles to his feet without thinking, lets go of the bench without thinking – and then he’s lost, floating in empty space.

“Hey,” he hears the voice say, somewhere in the space that surrounds him. “Are you all right? Here, let me–”

He feels a hand on his arm, and it’s almost, almost enough.

But it’s not enough, and then he sinks into the darkness.

~

When he wakes up, he’s more comfortable than he’s ever been in his life. He’s so – warm, and the surface that he’s lying on is so soft. So soft. He didn’t know things could be so – soft.

He keeps his eyes closed. He’s astonished, genuinely shocked by this new thing, this warmth and softness. It’s – it’s indescribable, it’s so – so good, but even the fact of it makes him nervous. He’s lying on his side, and there’s a warm cover over him. His head is on a pillow, and the pillow is so soft. But he can’t remember how he came to be there, and he definitely can’t understand why he would be in such a place, in such a position. And that doesn’t feel safe, not at all. So he keep his eyes closed and listens.

Silence. He’s somewhere inside, and outside there are people walking and talking, and vehicles a little farther away. He can hear what some of the people are saying, if he sharpens his hearing the way he’s been taught. Snatches of conversation: –hope it’ll stay nice for Mom’s birthday– –do you think he remembered to– –naw, bro, they’ll definitely win this year–. None of it makes much sense, but none of it sounds threatening, either, and the people out there aren’t moving any closer. In here, in the room he’s in, there’s a quiet hum, but otherwise nothing at all. Nobody moving, nobody breathing.

Cautiously, he opens one eye.

It’s bright, outside his eyelids. It’s bright in a strange way that he’s only seen a few times before. He looks up at the ceiling, but there’s no fluorescents there, and the lights that are there are switched off. He turns his head, and sees the room is small, with nothing other than a table with two chairs, a shelf with books, and the bed he’s lying on. There’s an image on the wall, and he stares at it, hoping for some kind of instruction, information. But it’s just a picture, a wash of blues and yellows and greens. He’s not sure what it’s supposed to be, but if it contains instructions, he can’t decipher them.

He turns his head towards the source of the light and sees it’s a window. On the other side is – outside. He knows about outside, but he’s barely ever seen it. No-one gets trained outside until they’re much farther on in the programme than he is. But there it is. There’s a swatch of grey sky and the edges of some buildings. That’s where the voices are coming from – they’re all outside. There are people out there, somewhere, talking. Walking. There are people outside, under that grey sky.

He feels a sudden swelling feeling in his stomach, bubbly and unfamiliar. Laced around it is the much more customary feeling of fear. Why is he here? How did he get here? He is not supposed to be here. Here, in this bed, this warm, this astonishingly comfortable bed. Here, next to a window, where if he wanted he could just get up and go and look, and he would see outside. This is all a mistake, and when the mistake is discovered, he will be corrected, and it will be the worst correction he’s ever suffered.

So he’s afraid. But he’s not only afraid. The bubbly feeling is something else. And even though he’s afraid, he wants to get up and look out of the window. He wants to see the people whose voices he can hear. He lies still, listening. He sharpens his hearing as far as it will go. He knows that outside the window is outside, but what’s outside the door.

He listens. Listens.

There’s nothing. There’s no sound outside the door. But he’s high up – he realises that now – and below him is another room. And in that room is a person. He can hear them shifting in their seat, and sighing sometimes. There’s something bubbling down there, and the occasional tapping of keys. Nothing else.

Right. Right. He’s in a building, and someone’s in the building with him, but they’re below. They’re not paying attention to him. If they want to come up here, how will they do it? He looks around the room again, but he doesn’t see any way in other than the door and the windows. And if the one down below wants to come up, he’ll have to use the elevator, or stairs. That will make a noise. So if he listens, he’ll be safe.

He lies still a moment longer, wriggling his toes and fingers in the warmth of the bed. He’s so comfortable that he almost doesn’t want to get up to go and look out of the window.

But he really wants to look out of the window.

He closes his eyes, draws a breath, and gets up. The loss of warmth from the bed is immediate, and he sits on the edge of it and shivers. His stomach rolls, and his head spins, and he clutches at the edge of the mattress and hopes he won’t faint. If he faints, the one downstairs will definitely hear the thud. So he can’t faint.

So he doesn’t faint.

After a few seconds – long, long seconds – his head and stomach seem to come right. He still feels like he’s half-floating, but he doesn’t think he’s going to faint or be sick. He flexes his hands on the mattress, then grips the head of the bed and stands up.

The world fades in and out and there’s a buzzing in his ears. He can feel the edge of the bed, though, under his hand. He can feel that. That means it’s real. So he concentrates on that and waits. And eventually, the world resolves itself again. Here he is, standing by the bed. Now he can see more of the buildings through the window. More of the sky. It’s only three steps away. He’s just got to be quiet, so the one downstairs doesn’t realise he’s got out of bed.

He takes a deep breath and lets go of the bed. He walks towards the window, feet as light as he can make them. He’s not wearing his boots, and that helps, though he feels a thrill of fear as he realises he doesn’t remember taking them off and he doesn’t know where they are. But that’s forgotten when he reaches the window and looks out. For a moment, everything is forgotten.

He sees: sky. So much sky, slate-grey and wide and arching and bright, lit with a light whose source seems to be everywhere and nowhere. And buildings – tall, thin, jutting up into the sky like stone fingers. Some of them have lights on in windows, but most don’t. There are hundreds of them, some close by and some further away. And in the distance, in the gap between two buildings, he sees a tower with two parts, like two fingers close together, so much taller than everything around it that even though it’s far away he feels suddenly very small. He’s never – he doesn’t remember ever seeing so much, before. He stares at it for a long time, trying to force it into his memory. Everything else might be murky and foggy in his mind, but this – he wants to remember this.

After a while, he looks down. And there, he sees: a drop of several storeys to the ground below, and there, vehicles and people. Mostly people. The vehicles seem to be forced to drive slowly, making their way through the mass of people. They have different-coloured hair, wear different clothes, and they move, all of them move in different directions. He’s never seen so many people in one place before, and he feel almost mesmerised by the sight. What are they doing? Where are they going?

He sharpens his hearing, and begins to pick apart the skein of sound that drifts up from below. Voices, voices. Some high, some low. Angry, happy, sad. –do we need any more– –I heard that– –no, that place costs a fortune– He can’t make sense of them, so he tries to follow just one thread. But it’s difficult, there’s so many, and people keep moving into and out of the range of his hearing. He’s concentrating so hard that he loses sight of where he is, what he’s doing, and that’s stupid. That’s exactly the same kind of stupid he always is. But he doesn’t realise how stupid he’s being until the door to the room opens and he realises he was concentrating so hard on the people outside that he forgot to keep listening to the one inside.

The door opens, and it feels like an electric shock to his whole body. He spins, and that’s enough to send his head spinning again, and he staggers against the wall even as he’s trying to run back to the bed. So by the time the one from downstairs comes in, he’s pressed into a corner, between the window and the wall, trying frantically to think of a reason for why he’s next to the window while his traitorous mind just swirls with blinding darkness.

The one from downstairs is the one from yesterday, who ordered him to follow. He looks at the bed, and then looks at him, in the corner, sinking even though he keeps telling his legs to hold him up. The one from downstairs frowns at him, and he opens his mouth to try to defend himself even though he still hasn’t come up with an excuse.

“I–” he starts, but then his throat seals up with fear.

The one from downstairs kneels down in front of him.

“Hey,” he says. “Are you all right? What happened?”

He shakes his head. His voice won’t work. His throat won’t work. He can’t – he can’t breathe–

“Hey.” The one from downstairs leans forward and grabs his shoulders. He doesn’t squeeze, doesn’t hurt. But he shakes him. Not so hard his head hits the wall. Is he being corrected? It doesn’t feel like he’s being corrected. “Hey,” the one from downstairs says. “Snap out of it. You’re fine. All right? What are you so scared of? Calm down.”

He blinks. The one from downstairs doesn’t sound angry. He’s frowning, but he’s calm. There isn’t even that undertone of anger that he heard yesterday. And he wants to obey, so badly. There’s bright, coloured blotches impeding half his vision, drifting and floating across his field of view. But he looks past them and sees that calm, frowning face.

“Calm down,” the one from downstairs says again, and somehow, he does. His arms are tingling, and he’s sitting on the floor, now, though he doesn’t quite remember how he got there. But his throat opens and he starts breathing again. It’s hard, at first – he tries to breathe too much and it’s painful in his throat and his chest. But the one from downstairs squeezes his shoulders – not hard, not so it hurts, just a little.

“Slow, now,” he says. “There’s no hurry.”

So he sits on the floor and he breathes. And eventually, it feels normal. Not normal – nothing that’s happened to him this morning has been normal. But at least not like he’s about to pass out. He doesn’t know what’ll happen if he passes out.

Finally, the one from downstairs sits back. “All right?” he says.

He nods. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I know I shouldn’t have looked.”

The one from downstairs frowns. “Looked at what?”

He gestures towards the window. “Outside,” he says. He tries to think of an excuse, but there’s nothing but swirling fog. He hasn’t even been corrected for forgetting his designation yet. Are they saving it so that they can do it all at once?

The one from downstairs frowns deeper, then raises his eyebrows as if he’s suddenly understood something. He looks angry, then, and that makes his stomach roll.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, quickly. “It won’t happen again. I was – I didn’t –” But still, the excuse won’t come, and he runs out of words.

“No,” the one from downstairs says, and now he does have that sharp tone in his voice. He falls silent, waiting for the correction, but it doesn’t come. Instead, the one from downstairs sits quietly for a moment, staring at him with a look that he can’t interpret. Then he sighs.

“No,” he says. “You did nothing wrong. You’re welcome to look out of any and all windows, any time you want. Understood?”

He blinks. He wonders if he heard right. No-one is allowed to go outside, not until they’ve reached the correct phase of their training. No-one is allowed to look outside. But here – there’s a window. Right here. And this one says he’s allowed to look out of it, even though it's still a long, long time before he reaches the right level.

“I’m not–” he says, and then chokes on the words. He could just lie. He wouldn’t even need to lie, he could just not say anything and follow orders. But then – but then eventually this one would find out, and that – and then he would be corrected. He doesn’t want to be corrected. It would be a big correction. So he swallows and clears his throat.

“I’m not level five,” he whispers. He’d thought it was obvious. He doesn’t look anything like level five. But maybe this one isn’t used to looking for the signs.

The one from downstairs frowns. “What does that mean?” he asks.

“I’m not – I’m not level five,” he says again. He doesn’t know how else to say it. He didn’t expect the one from downstairs not to understand. “I’m level two. Level twos aren’t permitted to – go outside.” He doesn’t say to look out of the window, because he doesn’t know about windows. He’s never heard anything about looking out of windows, but he’s so rarely seen a window to look out of, it hasn’t been relevant.

The one from downstairs is still staring at him. He doesn’t look angry, and even though he knows it means he won’t be allowed to look out of the window any more, he’s glad he told the truth now, rather than waiting for it to be found out. He sits and waits to see what will happen next. But nothing does happen. The one from downstairs just stares. Then, finally, he speaks.

“Do you understand where you are?” he asks.

He looks around. He doesn’t know what this building is like, apart from this room. It’s not like any room he’s been in before. “A new training facility?” he says, even though it doesn’t look anything like a training facility.

The one from downstairs slowly shakes his head. “No more training facilities,” he says. “You’ve been rescued. You’re free now.”

He doesn’t understand, but he doesn’t want to say he doesn’t understand. He wants the one from downstairs to think he’s smart, obedient, useful. So he nods. “Yes,” he says.

The one from downstairs frowns again, and he thinks maybe it wasn’t the right answer. But the one from downstairs doesn’t say anything else. He just gets to his feet.

“You should eat something,” he says. “Come with me.”

Chapter Text

Going down the stairs is difficult. His head spins and he clings to the rail. The stairs turn in a half-circle, and they look like they’re moving, even though they’re not. He wishes they’d gone in the elevator. He doesn’t see an elevator, but surely there must be one.

The one from downstairs reaches the bottom when he’s still only a few steps down, then turns and frowns at him.

“Are you all right?” he asks. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know,” he says. He really doesn’t. He’s sure it shouldn’t be this hard. But he takes another step and closes his eyes, sure he’s about to fall to his death.

When he opens his eyes, the one from downstairs is standing beside him.

“Hey,” he says. “You feeling dizzy?”

He nods. It makes his head hurt worse.

“All right.” The one from downstairs takes his arm. “Here. I’ll help.”

The one from downstairs takes a step down, then steps back up. “Come on,” he says. “You can’t stay up here all day.”

“Sorry,” he whispers. He’s staring at the wall now, because looking at the stairs makes him feel like he’s falling. He’s starting to feel like nothing’s real again, and he grips the handrail as tightly as he can.

The one from downstairs sighs heavily, then puts an arm round his back.

“Come on,” he says. “Come on. I won’t let you fall.”

He doesn’t want to. But he wants the one from downstairs to see how obedient he is, how strong, how useful. So he takes one step down, then another, and the one from downstairs holds him up, warm and solid beside him. Even so, he almost falls twice, and he thinks the one from downstairs is almost more relieved than he is when they get to the bottom.

“This way,” the one from downstairs says, not taking his arm away. He guides him into another room, lit with the same diffuse, clear, grey light from outside. This room is full of gleaming white surfaces and screens, machines with lights and LED numbers. This must be the training facility, then.

“Sit down,” the one from downstairs says, and pushes him into a chair. The chair is beside a table, clean and blank and white. He closes his fingers around the edges of it and feels the reality there, cool and smooth and solid.

The one from downstairs puts a cup in front of him. Inside the cup is some greasy-looking water with strange chunks and ribbons floating in it. The one from downstairs puts two sticks next to the cup.

“I’m not great with breakfast,” he says. “Sorry.”

He stares at the cup. The smell from it is thick and strange, turning his stomach. His mouth is suddenly full of saliva, and he starts to worry he might throw up.

The one from downstairs sits down across from him. He sits in silence for a moment, but then he frowns.

“What’s the matter?” he says. “You don’t like cup noodles? I thought all the kids loved cup noodles.”

He looks up at the one from downstairs, then looks down at the cup. He wonders what he’s expected to do. Would it be worse to ask, and reveal his ignorance, or guess, and risk getting it wrong?

“What do you like, then?” the one from downstairs asks. “I probably don’t have it in the house, but we can pick something up on the way to the Citadel.”

He doesn’t answer. He didn’t really understand anything the one from downstairs is saying, and he knows he ought to say something, but his stomach’s rolling inside him and it’s taking all his energy to stop himself from throwing up on the table.

“Hey,” the one from downstairs says. He taps on the table and frowns. “We really have to get you a name,” he mutters. “Hey. Did you hear me? What do you like to eat? You must be starving.”

He lets go of the table with one hand and puts it over his mouth. The one from downstairs seems to understand, because his eyes widen a little and he reaches across and picks up the cup, taking it away to another part of the room. The smell dissipates, and his stomach settles, though he still feels distinctly queasy.

“All right,” the one from downstairs says, sitting back down. “Definitely no cup noodles.” He pauses. “Are you going to throw up?”

He considers. He doesn’t think he is, now, so he takes his hand away from his mouth. “No,” he says. “Thank you, sir.”

The one from downstairs snorts and shakes his head. “No sir-ing around here,” he says. “It’s Cor, remember?”

“Yes.” He does remember that, now, though a lot of yesterday is pretty blurry. “Sorry. I remember.”

“It’s fine,” the one from downstairs says. “So. I guess you don’t know what you like to eat, is that right?”

He’s not sure he understands the question. “Yes,” he says. “I don’t know. Cor.”

“Right.” The one from downstairs frowns, like he’s thinking. “What are you used to eating? What did you eat before?”

He still doesn’t really understand. He feels light-headed again, and he holds tight to the edge of the table. Is it that the question doesn’t make any sense, or is it that his mind isn’t working right? If the one from downstairs finds out his mind isn’t functional, what will he do? Correct him? Or maybe just get rid of him?

“Hey,” the one from downstairs says. “Are you listening? I asked you a question.”

He swallows. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t hear.” His voice sounds unsteady. He hopes the one from downstairs doesn’t notice.

The one from downstairs sits still, frowning at him. Then he shakes his head. “Food,” he says. “What food are you used to eating? You know, food? Nutrition? Sustenance?”

Oh. Oh. Yes, yes, he understands. He scrambles to push his chair back from the table and pull up the shirt he's wearing to show this one his port, so he’ll see he isn’t stupid. So he’ll see he can understand, he can follow orders.

The one from downstairs stands up, staring at his port. He comes round to the other side of the table and kneels down, still staring.

“What’s that?” he asks, and now he sounds angry again. That can’t be right. He answered the question, that should have made the one from downstairs less angry, not more.

“For sustenance,” he says, clutching the fabric of the shirt to stop his hands from shaking.

The one from downstairs reaches out, touching the port. it’s in his side, below his ribs, a circle of plastic protruding out from under his skin.

“Can you feel that?” the one from downstairs asks.

“No,” he says. “It’s a port.” He tries not to sound too incredulous. He doesn’t want the one from downstairs to think he’s being insubordinate.

“A port.” The one from downstairs sits back on his heels and stares up at him. “Have you got any more?”

“Yes,” he says. He lifts the other side of the shirt, shows the port for charging. It’s not been used yet, but it will once he reaches level four. Then he leans forward and pulls the neck of the shirt down to show the one for data transfer that connects to his spine just below the base of his neck. The one from downstairs touches each one and asks what they’re for. He doesn’t know already, and that’s – really strange. What’s happened to him so far has been weird, definitely, but he’s starting to think that it’s even weirder than he thought.

Finally, the one from downstairs tells him to put the shirt back on, and he does. The one from downstairs sits back down on the other side of the table, staring at him. He doesn’t know what to do, so he grips the table again and tries not to drift away.

“Did it hurt when they put those in you?” the one from downstairs asks.

“I can’t remember,” he says. There’s a lot of things he can’t remember at the moment – his designation, all but the first four numbers, still sunk somewhere in the thick mud that occupies his brain – but he thinks he wouldn’t remember this one even if everything else came back. He thinks he’s never remembered it, not since it happened. And that must have been a long time ago, because he definitely doesn’t remember a time that he didn’t have the ports.

The one from downstairs nods. “Have you ever eaten anything the normal way?” he asks.

“I don’t understand,” he says.

The one from downstairs nods again. “Have you ever – put sustenance in your mouth and then swallowed it?” he asks.

“No,” he says. The thought makes him feel ill.

“All right,” the one from downstairs says. Then a phone starts to ring. The one from downstairs stands up, taking it out of his pocket. “Yes,” he says.

He stares down at the table, but he sharpens his hearing so he can hear what the voice on the other end of the phone is saying.

“Where are you?” the voice says. “You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago.”

“Yeah,” the one from downstairs says. He takes a few steps away, towards the window. “There’ve been some complications.”

“That MT didn’t try anything, did it?” the voice says. “The king’s very concerned that it might have killed you in the night.”

The one from downstairs glances at him, then moves further away, through the door back to the staircase, closing it behind him.

He sharpens his hearing as far as it will go. The one from downstairs stays just on the other side of the door, and he can still hear him easily. The voice on the phone is more difficult, but he slows his breathing as much as he can, and he hears snatches of it.

“He’s not an MT,” the one from downstairs says in a low voice. “He’s a kid. A fucked-up, terrified kid. You should see him, Clarus. I swear, I don’t think he’s ever even been outside in his entire life.”

“You found him outside,” the voice says. “...deceiving you.”

“No,” the one from downstairs says. “I’d think the same in your shoes, but you haven’t seen him. These are special circumstances. I’m bringing him to the Citadel as soon as I can. He needs medical attention.”

There’s a pause. Then, “...every thirty minutes... you get here.”

“Understood,” says the one from downstairs. “I’ll see you.” There’s a buzz as he cuts off the call. Then he says, very quietly, “How did i get myself into this?”

Then the one from downstairs opens the door. He comes in, putting the phone in his pocket, and stands on the other side of the table.

“Sorry about that,” he says.

He doesn’t know why the one from downstairs is apologising, so he doesn’t reply.

“Listen,” the one from downstairs says. “Listen – I’m going to take you to see some people. But – you need something. Some water, at least. I don’t want you passing out.”

He doesn’t want to pass out, either. He doesn’t know what’ll happen if he passes out.

“Do you know how to drink water?” the one from downstairs asks. He fills a glass from a tap, and then puts it on the table. “Do you understand what I’m asking?”

“Yes,” he says, but he doesn’t, not really. He stares at the glass. At least this one doesn’t smell.

The one from downstairs picks up the glass, puts it to his lips, and tips some of the water into his mouth. He swallows, then puts the glass down and pushes it across the table.

“Now you,” he says.

He reaches out and picks the glass up. It feels cold to the touch. He puts it to his lips, but his hand shakes and he misses and has to try again. Then he tips it up.

He chokes on the mouthful of water, and for a moment he thinks he’s going to drown. Then someone’s thumping him on the back, and he coughs, coughs and splutters and tries to breathe. And then – when he thinks he’s almost there, he can almost breathe – his stomach rolls violently and there’s acid burning up his throat, thick, warm, slime pouring out of his mouth and spattering, black and viscous, on the shining white floor. He’s horrified, but he can’t stop it. He just heaves, gripping the table and the chair, aware of the one from downstairs standing behind him with a hand on his back, and wondering with a sour thrill of fear what the correction will be for this.

At last, the fit subsides, and he sits back in his chair, swiping his arm across his mouth. It comes away black and sticky, and he stares at it and thinks about how he’s probably never going to be allowed to look out of the window again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – I’ll clean it up, I’ll --” He slips off his chair, kneels on the floor by the pool of black slime, but he doesn’t have anything to clean with. He’s starting to take off the shirt he's wearing when the one from downstairs kneels next to him and grabs his wrists.

“Hey,” he says. “You don’t have to do that. You’re sick, sit down.”

He lifts him back up by his wrists and pushes him into the chair. Then he pushes the chair so it’s further away from the pool of his vomit.

“Stay there,” he says. “Don’t move. That’s an order.”

An order. An order he can understand. So he sits still, he doesn’t move, and he waits. The smell from the vomit is acrid, and the taste in his mouth is worse. But he’s been told not to move, so he doesn’t move. At least he knows now what he’s supposed to do.

The one from downstairs goes away. He comes back a minute or two later with a mop and bucket full of sand. He throws the sand over the pool of vomit, and then he turns and stares at him. He doesn’t speak, but he goes away again and comes back with a cloth. He holds it out.

“Clean your face,” he says.

He takes the cloth and wipes it over his face. It helps, a little. He realises that he’s crying, and forces himself to stop. When he’s finished, he isn’t sure what to do with the cloth, so he sits with it in his hand.

The one from downstairs looks him up and down. “Better,” he says. “Give me that.”

He takes the cloth and stares at it. There’s a hole in it that wasn’t there before, in the middle of a patch of the black slime. “Shit,” the one from downstairs mutters. Then he throws it into the sink and turns back to him.

“You should drink some water,” he says. “But be careful this time. Sip it slowly. Be careful.”

He doesn’t want to drink any more water – not after the first time – but he really needs to show how obedient he can be, after what he’s just done. So he picks up the glass and takes the smallest sip he can. He swallows, aware that the one from downstairs is watching him, then takes another sip.

“Good,” the one from downstairs says. “All right. I’m going to need some help, here, so we’re going to the Citadel. I’ll have to clean this up first, and you need a change of clothes.”

He looks down at the clothes he's wearing. The pants have holes in them that they didn’t have before. He sips the water. It doesn’t feel like he’s drowning, now, and the water is slowly taking the taste in his mouth away, so he keeps sipping.

The one from downstairs goes away, then comes back. He’s carrying a shirt and pants. “They’ll be too big for you,” he says. “We’ll get you something else later. You can change in the bathroom.”

The one from downstairs takes his arm and leads him to a small room tiled in blue and white. He recognises the latrine and sink from cleaning the officers’ quarters, but he isn’t sure about the big white tank. It has a showerhead over it, so maybe it’s a shower, but not like any he’s seen before. He sits on the edge of it and changes into the new clothes. They hang loose on him, his hands disappearing entirely into the sleeves. He rolls the trouser cuffs up four turns to avoid tripping on them. Still, they’re soft and warm, and being swathed in so much fabric makes him feel – safer somehow.

When he goes back into the other room, the one from downstairs is mopping the floor. The pile of sand is gone, and so is any evidence of the vomit, aside from the spatters on the clothes he’s carrying. The one from downstairs takes them from him and gives him another glass of water, then frowns at him.

“We’ll have to do something about your eyes,” he says. He turns away, rummaging in a drawer, and when he turns back, he’s holding a pair of goggles with dark lenses. “Sunglasses,” he says, holding them out. “Don’t take them off unless I say, all right?”

He takes them and puts them on. The room darkens, but he brightens his vision and that solves the problem. It’s good, too – it makes his head hurt less.

“Great.” The one from downstairs looks him up and down, then shakes his head. “We’ll definitely need to get you some clothes that fit,” he mutters. “At least your boots are still intact.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” he says. “I didn’t mean to make holes in the other clothes.”

“No, that’s – it’s not your fault,” the one from downstairs says. “That was definitely not your fault. And I told you, it’s not sir, it’s Cor.”

“Yes, sorry,” he says. “Cor.” He’s determined to remember. The one from downstairs is the best commander he’s ever had. He’s determined to do everything he can, obey every order down to the letter, so the one from downstairs – so Cor -- will be happy with his performance.

“All right,” Cor says, taking him by the arm again. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Cor leads him towards the door, and he follows.

~

They go down to the basement of the building – in the elevator, which is a huge relief – and from there they get into a vehicle – a car, Cor calls it. Cor gives him a bottle of water and tells him to keep sipping, so he does. He feels better now than he did before – less like he might float away or faint at any moment.

When they drive up out of the basement, suddenly they’re outside. Not completely – they’re still inside the car – but they’re in the world, driving slowly down the street full of people he saw earlier. He stares around himself, at the people that are all around the car. At first he’s fascinated – they all have different clothes, different colours and styles, and they all look different, all their faces, their hair. Some of them are taller and some are thin. Some look like level twos and even level ones, except they have colourful clothes and all different faces. And they’re all talking and gesturing at each other, smiling and frowning, even some of them laughing. He’s never seen anything like it.

But then one of them glances at the car as it noses its way through the crowd. The glass is darkened, but even so, he’s sure it was him they were looking at. He’s not supposed to be outside – he’s a level two. A level two who’s forgotten his designation and required correction multiple times in the last twenty-four hours, but never received any. Someone else glances at the car, and suddenly he starts to feel cold.

“I’ve been thinking about your name,” Cor says to him. He’s watching the road, all the people, but if he notices them looking, he doesn’t say anything. “I wrote some options down.” He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and holds it out. “Do you know how to read?”

“Yes.” He takes the paper and looks at the list. All the items are words, not numbers. “I’m sorry, s-- Uh, Cor. I think you gave me the wrong list.”

He holds it out, and Cor glances at it. “No, that’s right,” he says. “Don’t you like any of them?” He maneouvres onto a side-street, this one with hardly any people even at the edges, and none in the middle where the cars are moving much more quickly.

He feels relief loosen his chest even as he feels disappointed that he can’t look at all the different people any more. The combination makes him feel light-headed, so he turns back to the list.

“These are words,” he says. “There are no numbers.”

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. “You need a name,” he says at last, “not a number.”

He swallows. His mouth is dry and he sips the water from the bottle. “A designation,” he says at last.

“No,” Cor says. “Not a designation. A name.”

He doesn’t understand. He shouldn’t have a name – he should have a designation. Should have the one that he’s forgotten. But Cor says he needs a name, and Cor – and he’s determined to do everything he can to obey Cor. So he reads the list, carefully. The words are all unfamiliar. He doesn’t know what any of them mean.

“Anything jump out at you?” Cor asks.

He reads them again. “I don’t know,” he says. “Whichever one you want.”

Cor doesn’t say anything. Then he sighs.

“You don’t have to decide now,” he says. “Keep the list. Think about it.”

He folds the list carefully and puts it in the pocket of the pants he's wearing. He thinks about it as they drive in between the buildings. But he doesn’t think about it for very long. Soon, he’s distracted by all the things he sees. He’s almost outside. The sky seems huge overhead, like it goes on forever, and it’s full of that diffuse, grey light. He thinks he’s never seen anything so beautiful. That bubbly feeling he had this morning when he woke up rises up in him again, and he stares and stares. He’d never thought about outside much before. He knew he wouldn’t go there for such a long time. He’d never imagined it might be like this.

“Hey,” Cor says, and he realises the car has stopped moving. “We’re here. Come on.”

Cor gets out of the car, and he follows suit.

And then he’s outside.

He stops, staring up. They’re in front of the building he saw that morning, two towers rising into the sky. A jet of purple light reaches up from between them, travelling up, up, and he cranes his neck but he can’t see the end of it. It goes far, far above the tops of the towers, and above the towers there’s nothing but the huge, grey bowl of the sky.

He feels suddenly dizzy. He stumbles, and he would have fallen if Cor hadn’t caught him by the arm.

“Hey,” Cor says. “You all right?”

He doesn’t have any words to answer Cor. The bubbling feeling is in his throat, now, fizzing in his ears. He gestures dumbly at the sky. Cor looks up at it, then frowns back down at him. Then he puts his head on one side, the frown lightening a little.

“You’ve really never been outside before?” he asks.

He shakes his head. He tries to keep looking at Cor, but his eyes constantly drift, his head constantly turns upwards, to the sky. Cor doesn’t say anything, just keeps hold of his arm. After a while, though, he puts a hand on his back.

“All right, kid,” he says. “There’ll be plenty of time for more sky later.”

He tears his eyes away and nods. They’re going into the building with the two towers, he sees. There’s a lot of steps, and he eyes them with trepidation. But Cor keeps his hand on his back, and he’s steadier now than he was earlier. He makes it up the steps without tripping more than twice, and without falling at all.

When they reach the top, they plunge into the darkness beyond the huge doors. He can’t see anything for a moment, but he remembers he’s supposed to keep the sunglasses on, so he refocuses and brightens his vision. There’s someone coming towards them, and he looks angry.

“Cor,” the person says, and he recognises the voice from the phone earlier. “You were supposed to call me.”

“I was otherwise occupied,” Cor says. “I’m only five minutes late.”

The one who was on the phone glares at Cor, but Cor doesn’t seem to care. Then the one that was on the phone turns his glare on him.

“This is the MT?” he asks.

Cor straightens up. “He’s not an MT,” he says, and although he still sounds calm, that sharp undertone is back. “He needs to see a doctor.”

The one from the phone just stares at him. He keeps his eyes low. Maybe the one from the phone is the one who will correct him. But Cor doesn’t let go of his arm.

“Are you going to help me get this sick kid a doctor, or do I need to go and talk to the king?” he asks.

The one from the phone glares a moment longer, then nods.

“The king told me to give you the assistance you need,” he says. He reaches to take his arm, but Cor holds out a hand.

“I’ll keep hold of him, if you don’t mind,” he says.

The one from the phone looks disapproving, but he turns and leads the way. Cor follows, leading him by the arm and holding him up every time he stumbles. The corridor they’re walking down is huge, wide enough for a battalion, the ceiling high enough to be lost in the shadows. He doesn’t look around too much, though – it’s enough to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other without falling.

The one from the phone walks a lot faster than Cor does. Eventually, he looks back over his shoulder and realises how far behind they are, then comes stalking back.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I told you,” Cor says, calm where the one from the phone is coldly angry. “The kid’s sick.”

The one from the phone glares for another long moment. Cor looks back, expressionless. Then the one from the phone turns again, stalking away.

But he stalks a lot more slowly this time.

~

Cor takes him to a room with shiny surfaces and metal trays and lots of tools and machines. There’s someone waiting there with a white coat, and he realises this is where he’s going to be corrected. Maybe Cor just didn’t have the right tools before. This facility has specialist correction personnel. That makes sense.

“Sit here,” Cor says, pointing to a chair. He sits. He wonders how much the correction will hurt. He’s done a lot that needs correcting in the last day. It’ll probably hurt a lot.

“I got to talk to the doctor a minute, all right, kid?” Cor says. He gestures, and the one with the white coat gets up and leaves the room. Cor stands still, staring at him. “Don’t move,” he says. “And don’t touch anything.” He pauses, grimacing slightly. “That’s an order,” he adds.

Yes. It’s an order. An easy one, too. He sits, staring at the tools laid out on the metal tray. Thinking about the correction. But the door closes and Cor starts talking, and he sharpens his hearing to listen.

“What are we looking at here?” the one with the white coat asks.

“He’s just a kid,” Cor says. “But – he’s got partial MT modifications.”

The one with the white coat gasps. “You’re kidding?” she says. “He’s a Niff? An MT?

“He’s not an MT,” Cor says. “He’s a kid. He’s sick, and he needs a doctor. If you can’t deal with that, maybe you need to find another profession.”

There’s a pause. “Of course, Marshal,” the one with the white coat says. “What’s his illness?”

“I don’t know, exactly,” Cor says. “He’s been dizzy a lot, and he threw up this morning. Not like your normal vomit, either. But I think maybe he’s just hungry.”

“Have you tried giving him something to eat?” the one with the white coat asks.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Turns out he’s got a – port in his side. For sustenance, he says. I don’t think he’s eaten anything for a long time, if ever.”

Another pause. “We could hook him up to a feeding tube,” the one with the white coat says.

“No,” Cor says. “He needs to learn to eat properly. Look, Doctor, I need you to check him over. See what other modifications he’s got. Do all the scans, all the tests. We need to know what we’re dealing with, here. Then we’ll figure out how to get him to eat something.”

“Understood.” There’s the sound of the door handle starting to turn, but then it stops.

“Hey,” Cor says. “Be nice to the kid, all right? He’s had a hard time. It’s not his fault what’s been done to him.”

The door handle turns, then, and the one with the white coat comes in. She asks him something, but he doesn’t hear it. He’s too busy trying to understand what he heard on the other side of the door. Tests he understands. He’s done a lot of things that require correction since he met Cor. It’s no surprise Cor might think he’s defective. In fact, he’s pretty sure he is defective. If he wasn’t, surely he would remember his designation?

But then Cor said be nice to him, and that he doesn’t understand. If he’s defective, he requires modification. Even if he’s not defective, the things that he’s done require correction. Neither of those things are nice. How does Cor expect the one with the white coat to be nice to him if he requires modification?

He doesn’t understand. But even though he doesn’t understand, he keeps in his mind the sound of Cor saying be nice to the kid, all right? He replays it in his mind, again and again, until the one with the white coat snaps her fingers in front of his face.

Then he realises she’s been speaking to him. He’s so stupid. That’s another correction, after he swore to himself he would obey everything, down to the letter.

“Sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t hear.”

The one with the white coat looks down at him, expressionless.

“I asked what your name was,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. “Zero five nine – uh.” He stops, thinking about the list in his pocket. “I don’t know,” he says at last. “I haven’t got one yet.”

The one with the white coat’s expression changes slightly. “OK,” she says. “Can you take the glasses off for me?”

He reaches up, then remembers his orders. He doesn’t want to disobey the one in the white coat, but he wants to disobey Cor even less. “I can’t,” he says. “I’m sorry. I have to keep them on.”

The one with the white coat frowns at him. “Why?” she asks. “Does the light hurt your eyes?”

“Yes,” he says. “Not – my eyes. My head. But I have to keep them on because – Cor told me to.”

“I’m sure the Marshal doesn’t mind you taking them off for an examination,” the one with the white coat says. She reaches to take the glasses off, and he flinches back, holding them on, then jumps to his feet. His chair falls over with a clatter that makes his heart feel like it’s about to beat through his chest, and the one with the white coat makes a noise like she’s surprised – or scared, maybe. He backs away, still holding on to the glasses.

“I can’t,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

The door bursts open, then, and the one from the phone is standing in the doorway, looking furious. There’s two more with him, and they look angry, too.

“Take the MT down,” he says.

He hears the one with the white coat saying something, but whatever it is, it doesn’t penetrate his understanding. Nothing penetrates his understanding, except a sharp pain at the back of his head, and then nothing at all.

Chapter Text

When he wakes up, someone’s talking, and they sound furious.

It’s Cor, he realises. He thinks for a moment Cor must have understood that he needs correction, and is angry with him. Then he understands that he’s been, until a moment ago, unconscious; what would be the use of Cor talking to him when he’s unconscious?

Then he notices someone else is talking, too. Shouting. It’s the one from the phone. He’s somewhere near by – high up – and he’s shouting.

“It’s dangerous,” he’s shouting. “It could have killed her.”

“Come on,” Cor says. He’s not shouting, but he is talking louder than usual. “He was just trying to follow my orders. What’s he going to kill her with, the sunglasses?”

His head hurts worse than before, he realises. And he’s not wearing the sunglasses any more. He tried to keep hold of them, but they must have taken them after they knocked him out. He wonders if that’s what Cor’s angry about.

“I never thought I’d see the day when I’d have to warn Cor Leonis about trusting a Niff MT,” the one from the phone says, still too loud.

“He’s not an MT.” Cor’s almost shouting now. “He’s got more reason to hate the Niffs than anyone. You’ve seen what they’ve done to him.”

“No, I haven’t,” the one from the phone says. “That’s the point. None of us know what they’ve done to it. It looks like a maltreated child, certainly – but you know as well as I do how deceptive appearances can be.”

A long pause. Then the one from the phone speaks again, more quietly now.

“I commend you for your kind heart, my friend. I would just prefer not to see it be the death of you.”

“I can’t,” Cor says then. “I can’t just – pass him on to someone else, or put him in detention. I promised the kid I’d help him. I know what you think, but I promised.” He pauses. “We’ll do the tests. We’ll find out everything there is to find out. And I won’t let my guard down. He can barely stand. He’s no threat. But I won’t let my guard down.”

Another pause.

“See that you don’t,” says the one from the phone.

There’s some rustling, some footsteps. Then Cor speaks again.

“Hey, Clarus?”

The footsteps pause.

“Whatever else he might be, he’s not an it. Got it?”

There’s no reply. A moment later, there are footsteps right by his ear, and someone kneels down beside him.

“Wake up, kid,” Cor says.

Obediently, he opens his eyes. It’s bright without the sunglasses, and he dims his vision to compensate. Cor is kneeling on the floor beside him, and the one with the white coat is standing a little further off.

“You all right?” Cor asks. “Head hurt?”

He considers. “Yes,” he says. “The – the sunglasses–”

“I’ve got them.” Cor holds them up. “You need to leave them off for the doctor. I’ll give them back to you when you need them. All right?”

He nods, then winces. Cor reaches out and helps him sit up, then pulls him to his feet.

“On the bed, if you would,” the one with the white coat says, gesturing at a table on wheels covered in a white paper cloth. A spark of memory lights in his mind, and his stomach lurches.

Modification. Of course. He’s defective. What kind of unit forgets its own designation?

Cor puts a hand on his back and leads him to the table. He swallows. He thinks about trying to run, but he knows it won’t be any use. And even if he did escape, he would still be defective.

So he climbs up on the table.

It was good, anyway. Getting to see outside, even if only once. The sky – he’d heard people talk about it, but he’d never really considered what it might be like. And he’d never thought about what people might be like, outside the training facility. If he had, he’d have imagined them all in uniform, all marching in the same direction with the same expressions on their faces. But they’re not like that – not at all. He’s glad he got to see that, at least.

“I’m going to shine a light into your eyes,” the one with the white coat says. “Can you look at me?”

He looks. She shines the light, and he dims his vision to compensate. She frowns and takes the light away, then shines it back in his eye again. He brightens his vision, dims it, watches her frowning.

“Hm,” she says.

“Something wrong?” Cor asks. He’s sitting on a table on the other side of the room, watching them.

“No,” the one with the white coat says. “Just – I haven’t ever examined an MT before. I don’t really know what I’m looking for.”

“That’s the point,” Cor says. “To find out. And he’s not an MT.”

The one with the white coat rolls her eyes. She’s facing away from Cor, though, so Cor doesn’t see her. She doesn’t seem to care that he can see her.

“Now,” she says, holding her finger up in front of his face, “I want you to follow my finger with your eyes.”

He follows her finger, and she moves it sideways, then up and down. Then she turns and points at a sign on the wall. It’s covered in letters, bigger at the top and smaller at the bottom. They don’t make up any words that he knows. Maybe it’s a code.

“Can you read the third row of that out loud for me?”

He does. Then she asks him to read the fifth row. He does that too, and she asks him to read the last row. He has to sharpen his vision a little to do it, so he does, and she frowns at him. He waits for further instructions, but for a moment she doesn’t do anything. Then she picks up a book from the desk and crosses to the other side of the room. She opens the book, peers at it for a second, then holds it up.

“Can you read the first line of this?” she asks.

He sharpens his vision a little more and reads it. As he does so, her eyes widen. But it’s not just her – Cor stares at him, too, and he wonders, suddenly, if he misunderstood the order.

“I’m sorry,” he says, then turns to Cor. “I’m sorry, Cor. I thought she wanted me to read it.”

“It’s fine,” Cor says. “You did the right thing.” He’s still staring like he did something wrong, though.

He waits for the next instructions. He wonders if he should tell them they’re testing the wrong things. It’s not his vision that’s defective. But he doesn’t tell them. They’ve put him on the table, so they must be planning to modify him. But for now they don’t seem to be in a hurry, and he doesn’t mind, even if it does mean he’ll have to live with his stomach clenching in sick fear for longer. It’ll be better after he’s modified, anyway. He won’t be defective any more.

So he doesn’t tell them. The one with the white coat writes some things down, then she starts running more tests. She lifts his arms and moves them around. She taps on his knees with a small hammer. She examines his ports with a frown on her face. She peers into his ears. She weighs him and measures how tall he is. She has him blow into a tube. And on and on.

After a while, she sends him to a small room. She has him stand up against a square plate, then she flashes a light. It’s an X-ray, she says. He knows that X-rays are part of the electromagnetic spectrum, but he isn’t sure how what she did is related.

When she leads him back to the main room, the light is bright, and it takes him a moment to dim his vision. He’s feeling light-headed again, and he puts a hand against the wall until he’s sure he won’t fall. When his vision clears, he sees Cor is staring at him.

“Head still hurt?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says. He climbs back onto the table.

“Give him a potion, at least,” Cor says to the one with the white coat.

The one with the white coat hesitates, but then she goes and opens a cupboard. She pulls out a bottle with purple liquid in it and brings it over to him.

“Here,” she says.

He takes it. He looks at Cor.

“Drink it,” Cor says. “Slowly.”

He opens the bottle. It smells strange. He doesn’t want to drink it, but Cor told him to, so he raises it to his lips and sips. It doesn’t really taste of anything, and it’s the same consistency as water, which is a relief. Still, it’s hard to stop himself from gagging. But Cor told him to drink it, so he’ll drink it. He sips again. A third time. There’s an itching feeling on the back of his neck, and his headache’s fading slightly. He sips some more.

And then: the itch changes. It’s not sudden, not exactly – he feels it ramp up from itch to blinding pain through a series of intermediate points. But it’s fast – too fast for him to react before the pain becomes crippling. He doesn’t have time to do anything except think – briefly – that this must be the correction. Then he drops the bottle, reaching behind himself, trying to claw at the point where the pain is radiating from. But it’s not just his skin – it’s inside him. It’s his stomach and his back and then – suddenly – his brain, his headache shifting and changing and suddenly the only thing in the entire world. He doubles over, digging his fingers into his temples, eyes closed against the sheer, stabbing agony of it. He’s aware of falling, aware of landing hard, but only on the very edges of his consciousness. Everything else is taken up with the pain. It shines in the centre of his world, brutal, blinding, all-encompassing.

He doesn’t know how long the pain goes on like that. It feels like a lifetime, suspended in that savage light. There’s nothing else there, no thoughts, no feelings, nothing to mark the passage of time. Just the pain.

And then: it starts to recede. The light dims – it doesn’t go out, but it dims enough for him to become aware that the rest of him still exists. He can feel another pain now, in his stomach, and one somewhere in his chest. If he only felt them, it would be enough to make him sob. But because they are so much lesser than the pain in his head, he reaches towards them, tries to concentrate on them for some sense of relief.

Slowly, slowly, he comes to understand that the rest of the world still exists, too. He’s lying on a hard surface, and his wrists are warm. After a little while, he understands that they’re warm because someone’s holding on to them. A little while later, he becomes aware of sound, and gradually it resolves into words, into voices that he recognises.

Cor, he thinks, the thought blurry with pain.

“...check, then!” Cor says. He’s angry again. He’s furious. He’s close by. He’s the one holding his wrists. That’s right? He thinks that’s right.

He hears footsteps, and then another voice, high up. The one with the white coat.

“No, it’s right. Just a standard healing potion. There wasn’t anything unusual in it.”

There’s a pause, then suddenly her voice is closer, lower down. “Could be – I don’t know, a self-destruct mechanism?”

“Did you see something on the X-ray?” Cor asks.

“Yeah, but not – I can’t identify something like that. I’m not an engineer, I don’t know about MTs.”

“He’s not–”

“I know. But he’s got some of that stuff. It’s not – I’ve never had to deal with it. Like – his eyes. You’ve seen them – how they look. What they can do. They’re not like human eyes. But everything so far says they are human eyes, they’re not – implants or anything. This is just – it’s beyond me. We need an engineer to look at it. At him.”

“But you saw something,” Cor says. “Something that could be a self-destruct mechanism.”

There’s a pause. “There’s something in his brain, definitely. But it’s linked to the port on his spine. I don’t know if there’s anything – capable of transmission, or of receiving signals, self-destruct or otherwise.” Another pause. “If he could do that wirelessly – why would he need the data-transfer port in the first place?”

He tries to speak, to explain that he can’t transmit wirelessly, but all that comes out is a shredded-sounding groan. Instantly, the grip on his wrists tightens, then loosens again.

“Kid?” says Cor. “You all right?”

He tries to say yes, but he can’t make his tongue work properly. It comes out sounding like the noise an animal might make.

“Can you understand me?” Cor asks.

“Yyyrrrr,” he says. “Y- yyrrss.”

“OK,” Cor says. “Hey. Open your eyes, all right?”

He tries. And fails. But Cor told him to, so he tries again. Eventually, a sliver of light appears. It’s too bright, and he tries to dim his vision, but the attempt just sends a spike of pain through his head.

“S sbr’t,” he says. “Sbr’t.”

“What?” Cor says. “I can’t understand you, kid, I’m sorry.”

“He’s saying it’s bright,” the one with the white coat says. “Here.” There’s some footsteps, and then something’s on his face, on his nose. The sunglasses, he realises. He tries again to open his eyes, and this time he manages to get one half-way open.

The lights are much dimmer than they were before, even with the sunglasses. He thinks someone must have turned them down. Even with the dim light, though, he can see that the place is a mess. He’s lying on his side on the floor, and the space in front of him is covered in broken glass, glinting in a pool that’s half purple liquid and half black slime. A chair’s overturned, and the white cloth from the table is lying crumpled a few feet away. Cor’s sitting on the floor in front of him, holding his wrists. He looks furious, and he thinks he should have been lying down before the correction started, so he wouldn’t have made such a mess. If he’d known when the correction was going to happen – if he’d known what it was going to be like – he would have lain down first. But he didn’t.

“S’r – rrry,” he says. “S’rry.”

“What are you sorry about?” Cor growls. Then his face relaxes a little. “Don’t be sorry,” he says. He stares at him for a moment. “If I let go, are you going to try and rip your face off again?”

“Nnnn– o,” he says. He doesn’t remember trying to rip his face off the first time.

“All right,” Cor says. “All right.” He lets go of his wrists and sits back, then leans forward. “Shit, kid. You scared the shit out of me.”

“S’rry,” he says. His head still hurts – a lot – but he’s starting to feel a little more in command of himself.

“No – no,” Cor says. “Not your fault.” He runs a hand over his face. “Just – what happened?”

He blinks slowly. What happened? He was corrected. Cor corrected him. He gave him the drink, and it corrected him.

It’s the worst correction he can remember in a long time.

The one with the white coat appears in his field of view. She’s standing, but then she crouches. She uses a metal rod to scoop up some of the black slime and puts it in a clear plastic tube, staring at it like it’s fascinating. Then she turns to look at him.

“Which parts of you hurt?” she asks.

Everything. No, that’s not true. “Hrrr,” he says. “Uhhhh. My hhhead.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” Cor mutters. But the one in the white coat nods.

“Anywhere else?” she says, writing something down on her clipboard.

“Mmmmy ssto– sssstomach,” he says. He moves his hand, hovers it over where the pain is worst. She frowns, then makes another note.

“And?” she says, like she’s expecting something else.

He swallows – tries to swallow, but his throat’s too dry. “Uhh,” he says. “Uhh, chessst. Chest.” Again, he shows her, and she gives a thoughtful nod.

“I think it was the potion,” she says to Cor.

Cor frowns at her. “You just said it was a standard potion,” he says.

“It was,” the one with the white coat says. “But he’s not a standard patient. Think about it: what does a potion do?”

“It heals your injuries,” Cor says.

“Right,” she says. “And he’s got these foreign bodies in him – here.” She points at the port for sustenance. “Here, and here.” She points at his other ports. “I think the potion tried to heal his body around them.”

Cor sits and stares at her for a moment. Then he turns and stares at him. “Is that what happened?” he asks at last.

He doesn’t think that’s what happened. It was a correction. He thinks it was a correction. He’s done so many things that need correcting, so – surely it must have been a correction?

But it should have been Cor doing the correcting. Cor gave him the potion. But Cor doesn’t seem to know about the correction.

He doesn’t understand.

“Shit,” Cor mutters. Then he leans forward. “Hey – can you sit up?”

He tries. Cor helps him, and somehow, between them both, he sits up. His head spins, slow, pulsing circles. He clutches at Cor’s hands, and Cor doesn’t get angry with him.

The one with the white coat has him take his shirt off. She examines each of his ports, makes more notes. Then she frowns at his arms. They’ve got cuts on them from the glass, and they’re bleeding sluggish black.

“I guess we’re going to have to do this the hard way,” she says. She disappears from his field of view for a minute, and comes back with a bottle and some cotton wool. She cleans each of the cuts, then affixes bandages to them. Then she frowns at the cotton wool, black now with blood.

“I need a blood sample,” she says.

She goes away again. He sits propped up against Cor. Every minute that passes, he feels a little better, but his head is still throbbing.

“Bring some water,” Cor calls. When the one with the white coat comes back, she has a bottle and a syringe.

“Here,” she says. Cor takes the bottle from her and opens it, then passes it to him.

“Drink it,” he says.

He hesitates. His hand’s shaking, and water spills out of the bottle. Cor takes it back.

“It’s just water,” he says. “I promise.” He takes a drink from it himself, then holds it out again. “It’ll make you feel better.”

He takes it and raises it to his lips.

“Small sips,” Cor says. “You know the drill.”

He sips. It tastes like water. He leans on Cor and watches while the one with the white coat sticks the needle of the syringe into his arm. She draws out some of his blood, thick and black in the syringe. She stares at it with that fascinated look on her face.

“We really need to get some engineers on this,” she says. “Chemical and mechanical. Probably electrical, too.”

“Later,” Cor says. “Enough tests for one day. Have you got everything you need?”

She pauses, considering him. “For now,” she says. “He’s going to be available for more?”

“Depending on what they are, yeah,” Cor says. “No more potions.”

“No more potions,” the one with the white coat says. Then she crouches again. “Does your head still hurt?”

“Yeah,” he manages. The throbbing’s gone down, but it’s still there. He’s got control over his vision back, he realises, and he dims it even further.

She stands up and crosses the room to a cabinet. “I’m sure I’ve got – huh. Yes, here.”

She comes back with a little bottle. She shakes it, and it rattles.

“Not many,” she says. “Bush medicine. For when you’re stuck with no way to get potions. It’s–” She looks at the label. “Bark pills.”

“Bark?” Cor sounds incredulous.

“Works OK, apparently, though I’ve never seen it myself,” she says. She holds the bottle out to Cor. “I can try and get hold of some more.”

Cor opens the bottle and tips out a small grey disk onto his palm. He peers at it with a puzzled frown on his face, then holds it out.

“Can you swallow this?” he asks.

He’s not sure he can, but Cor wants him to, so he’ll try. He takes the disk from Cor’s hand and manages on his second try to get it into his mouth. He sips some water and swallows a few times, until it’s not in his mouth any more.

“Good,” Cor says. He swipes his arm across his forehead. “This is turning out to be a rough day, huh, kid?”

“Yyess,” he says, because he thinks he’s supposed to say something. He’s still trying to understand about the correction. But Cor doesn’t seem angry with him.

Cor sighs heavily. “I’m done with this place,” he says. “We still need to get you something to eat.” He frowns. “I don’t know – maybe your stomach can’t handle it, after all that. When was the last time you ate?”

He doesn’t understand the question. He starts trying to say so when Cor interrupts him.

“I mean – sustenance,” he says. “When was the last time you had – you know, sustenance.” He gestures at the port for sustenance, as though he thinks he won’t understand.

“Uhhh,” he says. “I don’t – knnoww. I don’t know.”

“Not in the last thirty-six hours, anyway,” Cor says. “Hey – have you got a wheelchair?”

He opens his mouth to say that he doesn’t know what a wheelchair is, but then he realises Cor was talking to the one with the white coat. She appears a moment later, pushing a chair that has wheels on it.

Oh. That makes sense.

“Right,” Cor says. “Let’s get out of here.” Cor gets his shoulder under his arm and then stands. He’s pulled up with him, dizzy with the sudden change in altitude. When his vision clears again, he’s sitting in the wheelchair.

“Drink your water,” Cor says. He stands behind the wheelchair and starts pushing it. He pushes it out of the door. There’s someone standing on the other side of the door. Not the same as the silent one from yesterday, but wearing the same clothes and the same neutral expression. The one from the other side of the door follows them as Cor pushes him down the hallway.

“Hey,” Cor says. “I’m sorry about the potion. If I’d known it was going to do that to you, I’d never have told you to drink it.”

He thinks about the potion. The purple liquid. He’s trying to put it all together in his head, the things Cor said and the things the one in the white coat said. He still doesn’t understand about the correction. He’s trying to put it all together. But his thoughts feel fuzzy and soft round the edges, and every now and then there’s a sharp throb of pain that makes them scatter.

“Thank you,” he says.

“What for?” Cor asks. He sounds surprised.

He realises he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why he said it. It just seemed like the right thing to say.

“For – the water,” he says. He sips it. He thinks it’s helping – his stomach hurts less now, anyway.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he sighs.

“You’re welcome, kid,” he says.

~

They go into an elevator – a big one, with white material on the walls. It looks smooth and silky, and he’s marvelling at it when he gets distracted by something else entirely. There’s sound playing in the elevator. At first he thinks it’s like the chime before an announcement to the facility. But then it keeps going. Like the chime, but with different tones, sometimes low chimes and sometimes high. Sometimes more than one chime at once, and they sound – different to each other. He’s never heard anything like it. He can’t even really describe what it sounds like, even to himself. He’s never heard anything like it. He cocks his head and sharpens his hearing, ignoring the answering shadow of pain.

Too soon, they reach their destination. He wants to stay in the elevator so he can listen to the chimes – he wants it so much it makes his heart hurt. But Cor pushes him out of the elevator, and the one from the other side of the door follows silently. Cor pushes him along a corridor until he comes to a door. It’s dark, made of wood. Cor knocks, and a moment later someone calls something from inside. Cor opens the door and pushes him through.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s me.”

Inside the door is a room. It has chairs made of soft material, one that’s three times as wide as a normal chair, and a floor covering made of some kind of fabric that covers half the floor. The other half is white, like the floor in the room where Cor gave him the water that morning. In that half of the room, there’s a table and the same sorts of apparatus with lights and LEDs that Cor had in the room this morning. There’s also a person, turning towards them. This person is wearing sunglasses, too, but without the dark lenses – the lenses on his are just clear. He looks like a level three, except he’s human.

“Good afternoon, Marshal,” he says. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You cook a lot for Prince Noctis, right?” Cor says. “You a good cook?”

“I like to think so,” the one with the glasses says.

Cor grunts. “Is he easy to cook for?”

“Certainly not,” the one with the glasses says. He’s looking at Cor, but every now and then he sneaks a glance at him, where he sits in the wheelchair. “He’s quite the picky eater.”

“Good,” Cor says. “Then I’ve got a challenge for you.” He pauses, frowning in thought. “Listen. This kid,” he gestures at him, “he’s been – in a coma. For a long time. He hasn’t eaten anything for a long time, just, you know, feeding tube. So his stomach’s not up to it. He needs something – easy. Really easy. But nutritious.”

“I see.” The one with the glasses comes forward. “I’m sorry to hear you were so ill,” he says. “I hope you’re feeling better now?”

He swallows. He’s not sure what Cor wants him to say. He doesn’t know what a coma is. “Yes,” he says, still slurring a little.

“I’m glad to hear it,” the one with the glasses says. “What sort of food do you like best?”

“No questions, Ignis,” Cor says. “He’s not up to questions.”

The one with the glasses looks surprised. “You expect me to cook for him without knowing what he likes?” he asks.

“Yeah, I do,” Cor says. “I told you it was a challenge.”

The one with the glasses looks confused, but he straightens up. “I see,” he says. “Well – can I at least be introduced?”

“Later,” Cor says. “Right now he needs to eat something.”

The one with the glasses stands still, staring at Cor. Then he looks briefly at him, and then turns away.

“I see,” he says again.

Cor turns to him. “Can you stand?” he asks. “Couch is more comfortable than wheelchair.”

He gets to his feet – tries to. Cor helps him, and when he’s standing Cor puts an arm round his back and stops him from falling down. Cor’s arm feels warm and solid, and it stops him from feeling like he might float away. They walk two steps, and then Cor lowers him down onto the wide chair. It sinks when he sits on it, and when he leans back the chair back sinks, too, soft in a way that he didn’t expect. He presses his finger into the chair beside him, watching in fascination as it sinks in. It’s like the whole chair is made from the pillow he had on the bed this morning. He feels supported and cocooned at the same time.

Cor sits down next to him, on the same wide chair. He pulls out his phone and dials someone. “Yeah, it’s me,” he says.

He leans back into the soft chair. He tries to sharpen his hearing so he can hear the person Cor’s talking to, but he’s suddenly so tired. The one with the glasses is clattering something in the other half of the room, and Cor’s talking in a low voice, and the pain in his head has faded to a dull throb. And the chair is – it’s more comfortable than any chair he’s ever sat on before.

Then, there’s a sound. It’s like in the elevator, but different. Many chimes all at once, but all different tones. He listens, and somehow the sound wraps round him, like the chair. He starts to float, but he doesn’t mind this time, because he’s wrapped up in the sound and in the chair, and it feels warm and soft.

He’s falling asleep, he realises. When he realises that, he forces himself to stop. No-one’s told him to sleep, so he can’t sleep. He sits up, pinching himself and blinking, opening his eyes as wide as he can.

 

“Hey,” Cor says beside him, and he turns, trying to look awake. The chimes are still there, but he sees the one with the glasses reach out and turn a knob, and then they get quieter. “It’s all right to sleep,” Cor says. “I’ll wake you when the food’s ready. Drink some more water first, though.”

He blinks, feeling suddenly, achingly grateful. The idea of sleeping – sleeping here, on this chair that’s so soft – makes him want to cry. He doesn’t understand why Cor is letting him sleep. Doesn’t understand any of the things Cor’s done and said since they met. But he’s so grateful. He’s so grateful.

“Thank you,” he says. He drinks as much water as he can straight after saying it, to show that he’s ready to do whatever Cor tells him. Cor reaches out and takes the bottle before he finishes it, though.

“Not too fast,” he says. “There’s no rush. You don’t have to finish it all.”

“I can go to sleep?” he asks, suddenly sure he must have misunderstood. He’s misunderstood so many things today.

Cor frowns at him for a long moment. Then he nods. “Yeah, kid,” he says. “You can go to sleep.”

He nods and settles back into the chair. He’s drifting almost immediately, but he’s aware enough to hear the chimes get a little louder, and he wonders if the one with the glasses turned the knob again. He wonders what the chimes mean. Then he stops wondering and just listens. He thinks about what Cor said to the one with the white coat. Be nice to the kid, all right? He replays it in his mind. Be nice to the kid, all right?

Be nice to the kid, all right?

Be nice to the kid.

Be nice.

And he falls asleep.

Chapter Text

When he wakes up, it takes him a moment to remember where he is. Everything’s so soft, and the chimes are still playing, different now, but no less enchanting. He’s still half asleep, and he thinks he’s never been so comfortable in his life before.

But there’s a hand on his arm and a voice in his ear. “Hey, kid. Time to wake up.”

It’s Cor. He forces his eyes open and sits up, blinking behind the sunglasses. “I’m awake,” he says.

“Great.” Cor points at the table. “Can you get yourself over there, or do you need help?”

He pulls himself to his feet, trying to lean on the soft chair. It isn’t easy – his hands sink into the fabric – but he makes it, swaying a little, but upright. The pain from before is still a dull throb in his head, but mostly gone from his stomach and chest. He feels worse than he did when he got up this morning, but so much better than he did when he fell asleep on the soft chair.

“If you’d care to join me,” the one with the glasses says. He’s standing by the table, and he’s put a cup on it.

He manages the three steps to the table without falling. He feels almost like he’s floating, the feeling of the floor under his feet disconnected from the part of him that’s him. He sits in the chair when the one with the glasses gestures, and awaits instructions.

“It should be easy on your stomach,” the one with the glasses says.

He doesn’t understand for a moment, but then the one with the glasses points at the cup. He looks at it. It’s full of water. The water looks greasy and dirty and slightly yellow. He thinks he understands now: he’s supposed to drink. He’s already drunk a lot of water today, but Cor always wants him to drink more. He doesn’t know why, but it doesn’t matter. If Cor wants him to do it, then he’ll do it.

He looks at Cor, and Cor gestures, raising his eyebrows. Yes, Cor wants him to drink it. So he picks it up and puts it to his lips.

It’s hot – that’s the first surprise. It burns his tongue a little, and he has to work hard not to make any noise. Then he realises that it doesn’t taste like water at all. It tastes – thick and – not right. Dirty. It smells bad, too. He forces himself to swallow, but he chokes a little and has to draw a deep breath before taking another sip.

The one with the glasses frowns. “Don’t you like it?” he asks.

He swallows a mouthful. He’s not sure what the right answer is.

“What is it?” Cor asks. “Here, let me try.” Cor takes the cup. Maybe he’ll keep it and not make him drink any more. He hopes so.

“Chicken broth,” the one with the glasses says to Cor. “It has some vegetables in it, too. I puréed everything.”

Cor takes a mouthful from the cup. “It’s good,” he says, looking up at the one with glasses with a surprised expression. “You’re a good cook.”

The one with the glasses nods. “Thank you, Marshal,” he says, and then turns back to him. “But you don’t like it.”

He swallows. The taste is still in his mouth. He looks at Cor.

“You don’t have to like it,” Cor says. He takes another sip. “Hm. Maybe too salty?”

The one with the glasses stands up a little straighter. Cor raises his hand.

“I’m not saying too salty to taste good. I’m saying too salty for him. He’s not used to it.”

The one with the glasses presses his lips together, then turns back towards the bank of cupboards and equipment along the wall of the room.

“I still have some stock that’s not seasoned, and has almost none of the thicker purée in it,” he says. “I was planning to use it in another recipe.” He pours something from a jug into a cup, and then turns, holding it out. “Try this,” he says.

He takes the cup. He knows it’s going to be hot this time, so he blows on it before he takes a sip. It looks like the other cup, but the water’s clearer, with less floating in it. He sips.

It tastes greasy. But not as strong and dirty as the other one. And it doesn’t smell as bad. He sips again. He knows Cor wants him to drink it, so he drinks it.

Cor raises his eyebrows. “All right?” he asks.

He nods. The other one would have been all right, too. He would have found a way to force it down. But it’s not as hard with this one, and it seems like it pleases Cor just as much. Cor starts drinking the other cup. He doesn’t seem to notice the taste, or the smell.

He sits and sips. After a while, his stomach starts to feel warm and heavy. The warmth radiates out from his stomach, into his chest, his limbs, until he feels like it must be radiating from his skin. He’s had a full stomach before, after being given sustenance, but it’s never felt like this. Even though the water still feels greasy and a little dirty in his mouth, it feels good in his stomach. And he feels – more tethered to his body. Less like he might float away any minute.

He keeps sipping until half the cup is gone. Then he starts to feel as though if he sips any more, he might throw up. He really doesn’t want to throw up again. He doesn’t want to make a mess, and he doesn’t want to ruin the clothes Cor gave him. He swallows, holding the cup between his hands and trying to force his stomach to calm down. He takes another sip, then stares at a spot on the table, determined not to let his stomach rebel.

“Hey,” says Cor. He reaches out and takes the cup away. “That’s enough for now.”

He feels that sense of gratitude again. He wishes he could do something for Cor to show him how grateful he is. He’s never felt this way about anyone before. He’s never, ever met anyone like Cor. He doesn’t know how he came to be in this new place, but he wishes he could – stay here for ever, maybe.

“That’s great, Ignis,” Cor says. “Have you got more? We’ll take it with us. He’s got a lot of strength to build up.”

“Of course,” the one with the glasses says. “I’ll make you some more tomorrow, if you like.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. “That’s great.” Cor smiles at the one with the glasses, and he suddenly feels a pang in his chest. He wants Cor to smile at him. He wants to do something that will make Cor happy, like the one with the glasses did.

There’s a knock at the door, then. The one with the glasses calls out, and the door opens. It’s the one from the phone. He looks at Cor.

“A word,” he says.

Cor stands up and goes outside. He closes the door behind him. The one with the glasses turns to look at him. He sits down opposite him.

“My name is Ignis,” he says.

He’s trying to listen to what Cor and the one from the phone are saying in the corridor. But now he has to pay attention to the one with the glasses. He’s not sure what the appropriate response is.

“Yes, sir,” he says at last.

The one with the glasses looks surprised. It wasn’t right, then. Should he ask what’s right? He doesn’t want the one with the glasses to think he’s stupid or to realise he doesn’t know what to do. He might tell Cor, and he really wants Cor to think he’s smart and useful. He’s starting to breathe too fast, he realises, and his hands are shaking.

The one with the glasses frowns. “Are you all right?” he asks. “Are you feeling ill?”

“No, sir,” he manages.

The door opens again, and Cor comes back in. He looks angry.

“Ignis, you got the rest of that broth?” he says. “Me and the kid are leaving now.”

“Of course,” the one with the glasses says. He holds out a plastic container, and Cor takes it. Cor takes his arm and pulls him to his feet.

“Can you walk?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure he can, but he doesn’t want Cor to think he’s weak. He concentrates on putting one foot in front of another, and it’s not until they’re out in the corridor that he realises the one from the phone is there, too, along with three more who are wearing the same clothes and the same neutral expression. One of them is the one who followed them before. They all follow this time. Cor doesn’t seem to notice, though. Cor just keeps walking, face grim, and he does his best to keep up.

It’s a long journey. They walk down the corridor, then they go down in the elevator, then another corridor. The others follow them the whole way, silent except for the sounds of their boots on the floor. He wonders about them, but most of his mind is occupied with keeping himself on his feet. It’s not until they’re halfway down the next corridor that he almost falls, and Cor suddenly pauses in his stride.

“Huh,” he says, then, “too fast? You could’ve said something.”

He’s not sure what Cor wanted him to say. But Cor doesn’t seem angry, so it can’t have been too important. He slows down, now, too, and that makes everything easier. And a few seconds later, they get to another door. This one’s not dark wood like the one they went through before. It’s metal, and the corridor’s different, too: the ceiling’s lower and the light’s dirtier. It reminds him of a lot of things.

“Here,” the one from the phone says. It’s the first time he’s spoken since they left the room upstairs. Cor stops walking. His jaw’s clenched, and he doesn’t say anything. The one from the phone opens the door and ushers them through. Two of the silent ones go with them. The one from the phone stays on the other side.

The room is small, with unpainted brick walls. It has a small table with four chairs. One side of the table has chains attached to it. He stares at them. Cor stares at them, too. Then he takes his arm and pulls him round to the other side of the table.

“Clarus wants to ask you some questions,” he says. “All right? So just tell the truth and then we can get out of here.”

He pushes him down into one of the chairs, then sits in the other. The two silent ones stand on either side of the door. Nothing else happens. Cor doesn’t say anything, so he just waits. He wonders when the questions will start. Then he wonders if he’s misunderstood what Cor said. He doesn’t want to ask. Cor will think he’s stupid, and he doesn’t want that.

Finally, he hears footsteps in the distance. He sharpens his hearing and hears the one from the phone, talking with someone new.

“...if it’ll work on an MT,” the new one is saying.

“He’s part-human, at least, so Doctor Salus tells me,” the one from the phone says. “Some of the same physiological responses.”

“Even so–” the new one starts, but the one from the phone speaks across him.

“Here,” he says. They’re outside the door, now, and it opens. The one from the phone steps in, followed by another one, who must be the new one. He’s carrying a box, and he stands in the doorway and stares. He looks nervous.

The one from the phone frowns. “He should be on the other side of the table,” he says to Cor.

Cor leans back in his chair. “Well, we’re on this side,” he says. “First come, first served.”

The one from the phone’s frown deepens. But he sits down on the side of the table with the chains. He gestures the new one over. The new one bounces on his feet, then comes forward, setting his box on the table and opening it. He pulls out some equipment and sets it out on the table. Then he picks up a strap and swallows hard enough for it to make a sound.

“Uh – I need to–” he says.

Cor makes a frustrated noise. “I’ll do it,” he says. He reaches over and grabs the strap out of the new one’s hand. “Where does it go?”

“Over his heart,” the new one says. “Make sure it’s tight.”

Cor turns to him, then. “I’m going to put this on you, all right, kid?” he says. “You need to lean forward.”

He leans forward. Cor wraps the strap around his chest, avoiding his charging port, and tightens it. “That right?” he says to the new one.

The new one nods and holds out another strap. “This one should go round his stomach,” he says.

Cor wraps the second strap round his stomach. He wonders what the strap are for. Maybe this is the correction? He hasn’t had a correction like this before, but then, everything seems to be different here.

Cor puts a wider strap around his arm and tightens it until it hurts a little. Then he puts straps on two of his fingers. Then he turns to the new one.

“Done?” he says.

The new one nods. He has a computer in front of him and he’s staring at the screen. “Ready to go,” he says, and looks at the one from the phone. “Ask something we know the answer to, first, so I can calibrate. I need a truth and a lie.”

The one from the phone nods. He turns to him. The he frowns for a moment. Finally, his face clears.

“What is this man’s name?” he asks, pointing at Cor.

He glances at Cor. Cor nods.

“Cor,” he says.

The new one peers at his computer screen. He types something. Then he nods. “And a lie,” he says.

The one from the phone nods. “I’m going to ask you his name again,” he says. “I want you to tell me something else. Something other than Cor.”

He stares. “What should I say?” he asks.

“Anything you like, as long as it’s not the truth,” the one from the phone says. “What is this man’s name?”

His mind goes blank. He can’t think of anything except Cor. He doesn’t know any other names. The one with the phone starts looking angry, and he knows he has to speak. Now, he has to speak now.

“Zero four eight three two eight five,” he says. It’s not even a proper designation – too short – but at least it’s something. Something that definitely isn’t Cor.

The one from the phone looks a little surprised. The new one types something else.

“All right,” the new one says. “It’s calibrated.”

The one from the phone nods. “I’m going to ask you some questions,” he says. “The machine will tell me if you’re lying. So you’d best tell the truth, understand?”

He nods. “Yes, sir,” he says. “I understand.”

“How did you get here?” the one from the phone asks.

He swallows. “Cor brought me,” he says. He looks at Cor to check he’s answering right, but Cor’s face is unreadable.

“I don’t mean to this room,” the one from the phone says. “I mean to Lucis.”

He isn’t sure how to answer the question. “What’s Lucis?” he asks.

The one from the phone frowns. Cor frowns, too. It wasn’t the right answer, then.

“Lucis is this kingdom,” Cor says. “The kingdom you’re in now.”

He doesn’t know what a kingdom is, but he doesn’t want to ask. He thinks it’ll be wrong again.

The one from the phone is still frowning. “When did you leave Niflheim?” he asks.

He feels caught. If he says he doesn’t know what Niflheim is, they’ll be even more angry. But if he just finds an answer to the question – a time, he can make up a time – the machine will know he’s lying and he’ll be corrected. He doesn’t know which is worse. He sits, silent, mouth open, trying to decide.

“He asked you a question,” Cor says. “When did you leave Niflheim?”

He turns to look at Cor. Cor raises an eyebrow. “Do you know what Niflheim is?” he asks.

“No,” he says, grateful for the chance to break the stalemate. Cor will think he’s stupid. He is stupid. He won’t be able to hide it forever, anyway.

The one from the phone glances at the new one, who’s staring at his computer screen.

“Yeah, that was true,” the new one says. He looks surprised. “I thought you said it was an MT?”

He,” Cor says. The new one looks up at him, startled.

“Sorry, Marshal,” he stutters.

The one with the phone is staring at him, now. “Where were you born?” he asks.

“I wasn’t born,” he says. He can answer this question, and he rushes to do so, hoping to make up for his earlier failures. “I was made. In the facility.”

The one from the phone nods. “Which facility?” he asks.

“The – training facility,” he says. It hadn’t occurred to him that the one from the phone wouldn’t know about the training facility. Surely everyone must know about the facility?

“Where is this training facility located?” the one from the phone asks.

He opens his mouth to answer the question, and then realises that he doesn’t know. It’s never even occurred to him to wonder. There’s the training facility, and then there’s outside. The training facility is the training facility.

“I don’t know,” he says at last, because he has to say something.

The one from the phone raises his eyebrows and looks at the new one. He’s still watching the computer. “All true, so far,” he says.

The one from the phone turns back to him. “How did you get from the training facility to the fort where the Marshal found you?” he asks.

Marshal. That’s what people have been calling Cor. And yes, Cor found him. Cor ordered him to follow. He only remembers it vaguely now, like it never really happened. Being somewhere he didn’t recognise, in the dark. The only clear part of the memory is Cor’s voice: Follow me, kid.

“I don’t know,” he says. He tries to remember. There’s an answering pain, throbbing quietly in the centre of his head. “I was at the facility, and then – I was in the dark. And Cor was there.” He’d felt terrible, he remembers. Barely able to stand. Beyond that, all he remembers is Cor’s voice. Follow me, kid.

The one from the phone, sits back, tapping his fingers on the table and frowning. “What are your feelings about King Regis Lucis Caelum?” he asks.

He hesitates. He doesn’t want to admit how stupid he is yet again, but he knows there’s no choice. “I don’t know what that is,” he says at last.

All of them stare at him now, even the new one. Then the new one looks back at his screen.

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah. He’s telling the truth.”

The one from the phone leads forward now, glaring at him. “What is your mission?” he asks. “What is your goal?”

This, he knows the answer to. “To follow orders, sir,” he says, trying to sound as strong and determined as he can.

“And what are your orders?” the one from the phone asks, shooting a look at Cor.

“To–” he tries to remember them all. “To tell the truth. And to drink water. And not to take the sunglasses off.”

“Not–” the one from the phone starts, sounding frustrated. “I meant your orders from Niflheim. From the training facility, not from Cor.”

Oh. He got that wrong, as well, even though he was sure he’d got it right. He feels a sickening disappointment at himself. He must be defective. No properly functioning unit would perform this poorly.

“I don’t have any, sir,” he says.

The one from the phone sits back, now, folding his arms. He frowns at him, but it’s Cor who speaks.

“You done?” he asks. “I think that was pretty conclusive.”

The one from the phone inclines his head. “For now,” he says. “One more thing.” He gestures at the new one, who digs in his box and bring out another strap, this one made of flexible metal.

“No,” Cor says, face darkening. “You said if he passed, we wouldn’t need that.”

“I said if he passed, I wouldn’t put him in detention,” the one from the phone says. “I can’t just let him go free, Marshal. It’s too great a risk.”

“You heard him,” Cor says, gesturing at the machine. “He doesn’t know anything at all! He’s not a fucking assassin, Clarus.”

“I heard that the human part of his mind thinks he’s not,” the one with the phone says. “Who knows what’s buried in the rest of it.”

“So we’re going to be as bad as them, is that right?” Cor says. “The kid’s been messed up his whole life by the Niffs, and we’re going to mess him up more?”

The one with the phone stares at Cor. It’s a cold stare, and he’s glad it’s not directed at him.

“We have options, Marshal,” he says. “But none of those options are to leave a major potential threat free in Insomnia with direct access to the king’s inner circle.”

“What are the options, then?” Cor asks.

The one from the phone raises one finger. “Send him back to Niflheim,” he says. He raises a second finger. “Put him in indefinite detention.” A third finger. “Use the restraints.” A fourth finger. “Put him down.” He doesn’t raise any more fingers, just sits looking at Cor. “Feel free to choose, but these are the only options you have.”

Cor’s jaw hardens. He sits in silence for a moment, but at last he lets out an explosive breath.

“Yeah, OK,” he says. “The restraints. I’ll do it, though.”

The one from the phone nods, and the new one holds out the metal strap to Cor.

Cor turns to him. “Kid,” he says. “I’m going to put this round your neck. It’ll stop any signals getting through. You won’t be able to transmit or receive any information.”

“I don’t have transmitting or receiving capabilities,” he says. “I’m level two.”

Cor glances at the new one, who looks at his screen, and then nods. The one from the phone gestures, and Cor sighs.

“Yeah, I got to put it on you anyway,” he says. “And – there’s something else. If you do something – violent, it’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t understand,” he says.

“I mean – if you try to hurt anyone. The guard will have the controller and he can turn it on. It’ll give you an electric shock.” Cor looks angry as he says it. “So – don’t make any quick moves while you’re wearing it, all right, kid? And don’t try to hurt anyone. That’s an order.”

“Yes, sir,” he says. “Uh – yes – yes, Cor.”

Cor nods. He still looks angry as he leans forward to fasten the metal strap around his neck. It feels cool against his skin.

“We need to test it,” the new one says. “We don’t know if it works on MTs.”

Cor opens his mouth, but the one from the phone raises his hand.

“Agreed,” he says, but he doesn’t look very happy. “Lowest setting only. Cor, I don’t like this any more than you do.”

“That’s pretty hard to believe,” Cor mutters.

The one from the phone turns to him. “Close your eyes,” he says.

He closes his eyes. Someone tries to take his sunglasses off, and he reaches to stop them.

“It’s all right,” Cor says. “It’s me. We just need to make sure your eyes are closed.”

He lowers his hand, and Cor takes the sunglasses from him. He sits in silence for a short time, wondering what will happen next. Then, suddenly: pain. It jolts through him, starting at his neck but suffusing his entire body. This pain is familiar from many corrections. But it’s mild – very mild. And short – it’s barely started before it stops.

“Looks like it works,” the new one says.

“You can open your eyes, now,” Cor says. He does, and the new one flinches.

“Six,” he says. “That’s seriously creepy.”

Cor hands him the sunglasses, and he puts them back on. Then Cor turns to the one with the phone.

“We’re going home,” he says. There’s anger in his voice, though the voice itself is no louder than usual.

The one with the phone nods. “Bring him back tomorrow,” he says. “I’ve arranged for the engineers to look at him.”

Cor pulls all the straps off him, except the metal one round his neck. Then he gets up and grabs his arm, pulling him to his feet. He pulls him through the door and turns down the dimly lit corridor. One of the silent ones follows behind them, but the rest stay where they are.

It’s quiet. Cor doesn’t speak, and so neither does he. There’s no sound but their footsteps, his shuffling and quiet, Cor’s clear and purposeful. He concentrates on keeping up with Cor, and raises a hand to pull at the metal strap so it will settle a little more comfortably.

“Hey,” Cor says. “Don’t do that. If it thinks you’re trying to take it off, it’ll shock you.”

“Sorry,” he says. He lowers his hand to his side and keeps it there determinedly, even though the strap itches. Cor frowns down at him, then slows down.

“I’m sorry about all this, kid,” he says. “You got dealt a shitty hand.”

He doesn’t know what that means. “Thank you,” he says, because he’s not sure what else to say.

Cor grunts. “Don’t thank me yet,” he mutters.

Then they’re outside. He half-falls down the steps, and Cor catches him and drags him to the car. He doesn’t even have time to look at the sky again before they’re inside the car, just like they were that morning. This time, though, the silent one who’s been following gets in the back.

Cor doesn’t say anything to the silent one. He behaves like the silent one isn’t even there. He is there, though, in the back of the car. Watching.

They go back to the building where they were in the morning. The diffuse light of the sky is dimmer now, as if someone’s pulled a thin curtain across the source of the light. There are fewer people, and a few times drops of water fall onto the window of the car, although he doesn’t know where they can have come from. His head’s whirling with everything that’s happened, and how much he doesn’t understand. Something very important has happened to him, but he just can’t find a way to understand what it is. Nothing that’s happened to him today has been anything like anything he can remember. He hasn’t even seen any other units, he realises. Everyone he’s seen today has been human. He’s never seen so many humans in such a short time.

Where are all the other MTs?

Where is the training facility? How far away is it? Is he going back there, or – will he stay here?

He looks up at the grey sky through the window of the car. He wants, suddenly, achingly, to stay here. Even though he’s scared, so scared that his stomach hurts. Even though he doesn’t know what to do and he doesn’t get enough orders to make sure he’s doing the right thing. Today he’s seen the sky. He’s heard the chimes and he sat on the wide seat. And Cor said Be nice to the kid, all right?

He wants to stay.

Cor drives into the basement of the building, and they take the elevator up. When Cor tells him, he sits at the table in the room from that morning, where he threw up. The silent one stands by the door and says nothing. Cor takes out the plastic container the one with the glasses gave him and pours some of the liquid inside into a cup. He opens the door of a machine with glowing numbers on the casing, and puts the cup inside. He closes the door and presses a button, and the machine starts to hum.

“You’ll have to eat as often as possible until you’re up to having full meals,” Cor says.

“Yes, sir,” he says. Cor frowns at him, and he remembers. “I mean – Cor,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

Cor sighs. The machine stops humming and beeps, and he opens the door, takes out the cup, then sets it in front of him.

“Small sips,” he says.

He picks up the cup. It’s warm, and he presses both his hands against it. The liquid is the same as earlier in the day – thick and greasy, dirty-looking, but he knows he can swallow it. He knows he can follow orders. So he sips.

Cor opens a white, humming cupboard. He rummages for a while, then brings out a bowl. He makes a disgusted face, then puts the bowl in the same machine he put the cup in. Just like before, the machine hums and finally beeps, and Cor takes out the bowl and sits down opposite him. He has a metal implement in his hand, flat and wide at one end and narrow at the other, and he uses this to scoop up a grainy white substance from the bowl and put it in his mouth. He chews and swallows.

“Stomach not feeling right?” he asks.

He starts. He realises he’s stopped sipping, so intent is he on watching what Cor’s doing. He’s never seen anyone – do that before. He can’t imagine doing it. What is the white substance? Why is Cor doing that?

“Sorry,” he says, and sips. He thinks about the way the dirty water feels, in his mouth, his throat. The white substance must feel quite different. He almost gags thinking about it. He can’t stop watching as Cor puts more of it in his mouth.

Cor raises his eyebrows. Then a look of realisation comes over his face.

“This is eating,” he says. “I’m eating. This is food.” He points at his bowl.

He stares. “Food,” he says. He remembers Cor talking about food earlier. And about eating. Cor’s talked about eating a lot today. He didn’t realise it was this.

“Yep,” Cor says. “Not great food, though. Probably need to try and eat better. Hey.” He looks up, looking at the silent one. “I need to feed you?”

The silent one clears his throat. “No, sir,” he says. “I ate before I came on shift. Someone’ll come and relieve me before I need to eat again.”

Cor shrugs. “One less person to worry about,” he mutters, then puts more of the white substance – food – in his mouth.

He sips. He thinks. It’s hard to think. The fog in his mind isn’t as bad as yesterday – and the warmth that begins to spread from his stomach as he drinks the dirty water is helping – but it’s still hard to make sense of anything. Everyone at this facility is a person. There are no other units – that he’s seen. Why would there be a training facility with no units to train?

Maybe the units are kept somewhere else. Somewhere he hasn’t been. But then, why is he here? Why isn’t he with the other units?

He wants to ask. He’s afraid Cor might think he’s stupid, or too curious. He’s been corrected for being too curious too many times. But Cor hasn’t corrected him so far, and he’s done much worse things than be too curious. And he – he really wants to know.

“Permission to ask a question?” he asks. It sounds so blunt, without a sir, and he tries again. “Permission to ask a question, Cor?”

Cor swallows the substance in his mouth. “Blanket permission from now on,” he says.

He nods, relieved. “Where are the other units?” he asks.

Cor frowns. “Other units of what?” he asks.

“The – other units.” He didn’t expect Cor not to understand. He’s not sure how to make it clear. “I’m the only unit I’ve seen today. I haven’t seen any other units. Just people.”

Cor’s face grows grim, then, and he knows it was the wrong question to ask. But Cor just puts his implement down and pushes his bowl slightly away from him.

“You don’t understand any of this, do you?” he says.

He swallows. Cor’s realised now, how much of his mind is non-functional. “No,” he says.

Cor nods. “Where you were before was – a training facility?” he says.

“Yes,” he says.

“This isn’t a training facility,” Cor says. “You’re not in a training facility now. There are no units. There’s only people.”

He swallows. He looks around. He knows that none of this, all day, has looked like a training facility – apart from the low-ceilinged corridor with the metal door. But it hadn’t occurred to him to think it might be something else. He didn’t even really imagine that – that there could be something else. Even though he knew people existed, a lot more than he’d ever seen, he’d never thought about where they might all be. Just outside.

And now he’s outside. This is where the people are. And it’s not a training facility. But then – what is it?

Cor’s watching him. He speaks again. “This is my apartment,” he says. “This is where I live. I sleep here, I eat here. This is where I am when I’m not at work.” He pauses. “This is my kitchen,” he says, gesturing at the room. “Where I make food. Or heat up food, anyway.”

He sits, unsure how to respond. He’s trying to make sense of what Cor’s saying, but he feels adrift, with nothing to attach anything to. This is a place outside the training facility. This is not a training facility at all. He has no way to understand this.

“Where you woke up this morning,” Cor says, “that’s a bedroom. Your bedroom, for now, anyway. That’s where you sleep. I have my own bedroom, where I sleep. That guy there,” he points at the silent one, “lives somewhere else, in a different apartment.”

“I live in a house, actually, sir,” the silent one says.

“Fine, a house,” Cor says. “All the people you saw today, they all live in houses or apartments. Like this. This is a place where we live. It’s not a facility. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

He stares. He knows he should say something, but all the new words, the new ideas – his head’s whirling, and he can’t think of any words. He opens his mouth, but it just stays open, his lower jaw hanging like he’s lost control of it completely. He’s not sure he hasn’t.

Cor glares at him for a moment, then sighs and covers his eyes with his hand. “Shit,” he mutters. “All right, it’s fine. It’s fine.” He takes his hand away from his eyes. “Take off the glasses,” he says. “This is hard without being able to look you in the eye.”

He takes off the sunglasses and dims his vision slightly. Cor leans his head on one hand, considering him. Then he nods, like he’s decided something.

“All right, we’ll start slow,” he says. “This is the kitchen. Kitchen.”

He manages to close his mouth. “Kitchen,” he says. “This room?”

“Yeah, this room,” Cor says. “This room is for preparing food. People have to eat food, like I’m doing, because they don’t have ports for sustenance. Food is sustenance, but people have to get it by eating it, like this.” He picks up the metal implement and puts some of the white substance in his mouth. He swallows. “Got it?”

Yes. He understands now. Food is sustenance, and humans don’t have ports. He knew already that humans didn’t have ports, but he never considered how they acquired sustenance before. Never imagined they might need it. This method seems – inefficient.

“That’s what you’re doing now,” Cor says. He points at the cup. “That’s broth. Broth is a type of food. Just a really wet one.”

He stares into the cup. “It’s water,” he says.

Cor looks surprised. “It tastes like water to you?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. “Dirty water.”

“Huh.” Cor reaches out and takes the cup, then sips a little. “Dirty water is definitely not how I’d describe that,” he says. “Bland as hell, maybe.” He frowns, passing it back over. “All right. We won’t tell Ignis you said that. Or that I said that, for that matter.”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t really understand, though.

“Anyway,” Cor says. “Water on its own is important, but it doesn’t have any nutrients. Sustenance needs nutrients – carbs, fat, protein.”

“Yes,” he says. “I understand.”

“You know that already, huh?” Cor says. “The broth has a lot of water in it, but it has some other stuff, too. It’s food. It’s a type of sustenance. And you need a lot of it.”

He sips from the cup. He feels it travelling down to his stomach, the warmth it imparts. This is food?

“I don’t require sustenance by mouth,” he says. “I have a port for sustenance.”

Cor shrugs. “We don’t have anything that’ll plug into it, so you’re just going to have to do it the old-fashioned way,” he says.

No. He’s in a place which is for humans, and humans don’t have ports. So humans don’t have any way to plug into his sustenance port. That makes sense.

“I – can acquire sustenance when you take me back to the facility,” he says, feeling uncertain. He doesn’t understand how he came to not be at the facility any more, and he’s starting to think Cor doesn’t, either.

“No-one’s taking you back to the facility,” Cor says. “You’re staying here. No more sustenance. Just food.”

He swallows. He’s not sure he heard right. But he did – didn’t he? Cor said he was staying here? It was what he wanted, before – he wanted it so much. But now – now he’s suddenly terrified. He can barely understand where here is. How will he understand what he’s supposed to do?

“I’m sorry,” Cor says. “I know you had a hard day. It’s better here, I promise. It’ll be better, once you get used to it.”

He shakes his head. “No,” he says. “It wasn’t hard. It was good.”

Cor raises his eyebrows. “Seriously?” he says. “What was good about it?”

He thinks. Some things were bad, definitely. The correction was really bad – except he’s not sure any more it was a correction. But other things–

“The chair,” he says. “And the chimes.”

Cor frowns in confusion. “Can you be more specific?” he says.

“The chair,” he says again. “The wide chair, in the room with the one with glasses.”

“The one with glasses?” Cor says. He frowns a moment. “Ignis?”

He remembers the name. “Yes,” he says. “Ignis. And the chimes. With Ignis.”

“Chimes,” Cor says. “Can you describe them?”

How can he describe the chimes? He’s never heard anything like them before.

“They went on for a long time,” he says. “Like chimes before an announcement, but they went on for a really long time. And he – Ignis – he could make them louder and quieter.”

“Music?” Cor says. “You talking about the music Ignis was playing while he was cooking?”

He doesn’t know the word. “The chimes,” he says. “Yes. The chimes were playing with Ignis.”

Cor runs a hand through his hair. “Shit,” he says. “The guys who are supposed to be rescuing you give you medical treatment that makes you pass out and throw up from pain then outfit you with a shock collar, but it’s a good day because you got to sit on a couch and listen to some music?”

“Yes,” he says. “I’m sorry I threw up.”

“Fuck me,” Cor mutters. Then he shakes his head and stands up.

“Come here,” he says. “Bring your broth.”

He stands and walks around the table. Cor turns to face the bank of equipment and cupboards, and he turns, too.

“Time to start getting the hang of all this,” Cor says. “This is a microwave.”

~

Cor teaches him what feels like hundreds of words, and shows him how several pieces of equipment in the kitchen work. There’s a cupboard for keeping things cold, and two for heating things up. There’s a bewildering variety of substances, some that look the same, some that look very different, all of which, according to Cor, are food. There are dozens of implements made of metal and plastics, and vessels of different shapes and sizes. Some of them, Cor doesn’t even seem to know the name of.

“Honestly, I don’t cook much,” he says.

They keep going until he’s finished half of the cup of broth. Then he almost faints, and Cor catches him.

“Long day,” Cor says. “Get some sleep.”

Cor helps him up the stairs and back into the small room where he woke up that morning. It’s much darker now – the grey light is gone, and the sky outside is black. Cor gives him some more clothes to wear, still too big but much softer than the ones he’s had on all day, and then leaves him alone. The silent one stands in the corridor outside the door of the room, but Cor closes the door, and then he’s on his own.

He’s on his own. He sits on the bed and puts on the new clothes. Then he lies down and turns off the light. The bed is just as comfortable as he remembers, and he spreads out his arms and legs and closes his lips tight to stifle the noise he makes. Then he realises that the sky isn’t black, after all. Now that the light’s out, and he’s brightened his vision to compensate, he sees that the sky is a deep, cool blue. He’s never seen anything quite that colour before, and he stares at it from the bed, feeling like he did when he heard the chimes. He feels – lost, and confused. And warm and comfortable. And amazed. And enchanted. And overwhelmed. And frightened. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so many things at the same time before.

But Cor said he was going to stay here. Here, where the sky is outside the windows all the time, and it changes colour, but whatever colour it is it’s beautiful. Here, where sometimes chimes play on and on, and they’re indescribable. Here, where, for the second night in a row, he’s lying on a bed, and it’s so warm, it’s so comfortable.

He swallows, feeling the metal of the strap against his throat. It’s been such a long day. There are so many new thoughts in his mind, it’s almost too much to bear. He thinks it’s been the most confusing day of his life.

And the best.

Chapter Text

When he wakes up, he’s standing in front of the window. The sky is still deep, dark blue, but a little lighter now. There’s drops of water spattering against the outside of the glass, as though the sprinkler system's come on. But there’s no ceiling outside, so there’s nothing for a sprinkler system to be attached to.

Perhaps more importantly, he doesn’t remember getting out of bed.

He turns to look. The bed is there. The edges of the blankets are tucked neatly in under the mattress, and the pillow is arranged on top. He doesn’t remember doing that.

He feels dizzy and disoriented. He turns to look out of the window again. The buildings loom, dark, jutting fingers against the deep blue sky. Almost no lights are showing in the windows. Far away, the purple jet of light rises from between the two towers. There are no people on the street, now. Just the water. When he looks down, he sees it’s everywhere, falling from the sky all across the street, illuminated by the lights that are down there. He looks up, but he can’t see the source of it. It seems to come out of nowhere. Like the light that was in the sky earlier, that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.

There’s a handle on the window. He stares at it for a moment, then reaches out and touches it. He takes hold of it and flexes his hand. The handle turns a little. He turns it further, and then, experimentally, pushes.

The window opens. It opens all the way outwards when he pushes, and suddenly, outside is right there, almost in the room with him. He reaches through the window, holding his hand out. The water falls on it, cool and wet. It feels – clean. He puts his other hand out, and then leans his head out, looking up, trying to see where the water’s coming from. He can’t see anything except the drops falling from nowhere, even though he sharpens and brightens his vision as far as it will go. He doesn’t move, though. The water falls on his face, his eyes and ears, soaking his hair. But watching the drops endlessly fall towards him against the backdrop of deep blue is – mesmerising. And the feel of the air moving against his face, even though he can’t see any fans that could move it – things happen by themselves outside, he realises. Air moves by itself, water falls by itself, light needs no source, no power. There are no rules, no reason for anything. Things just happen.

The door opens. He stands up straight, wiping the water out of his eyes. There isn’t time to close the window. He doesn’t know if he was allowed to have it open.

The silent one stands framed in the doorway. It’s a different one from before, a different face, but the same clothes, the same expression.

“What are you doing?” the silent one asks. He’s holding a gun. He isn’t pointing it, but he’s halfway to battle-readiness.

He swallows. He becomes aware that the top of his chest and shoulders is soaked. The shirt that Cor gave him. “Looking at the sky,” he says. He doesn’t know if he was allowed to look at the sky. He should have thought – should have asked permission first. He’s so stupid.

The silent one comes into the room. He peers out of the window.

“It’s raining,” he says.

He doesn’t know what that means. “I’m sorry, sir,” he says, hoping it’s the right answer.

The silent one frowns at him. “Were you talking to someone out there?”

He looks out of the window. There’s no-one there to talk to. “No,” he says. “Was I supposed to – talk to someone?”

The silent one stares at him for a long time. Then he grunts. “You got a change of clothes?” he says. “You’re soaked.”

“Yes.” He has the clothes he was wearing yesterday. He didn’t know what to do with them, so he folded them up and put them on the little table.

The silent one nods. He closes the window. “Keep this closed, OK?” he says.

He nods. He feels a pang in his chest, but he ignores it. Now he knows: he’s not permitted to open the window. His stomach churns. He should have asked permission first. He just went and did it. No matter how many times he’s corrected, he’s always stupid in the same way. He always gives in to his impulses to see more, know more. He should have asked, but he didn’t, and now Cor will be angry.

He waits, expecting the silent one to grab him and take him to Cor. Or maybe to correct him himself. But neither of those things happens. The silent one just nods at him then steps back into the corridor and closes the door behind him. He stands, shivering a little in the wet clothes. He remembers the silent one told him to change. Maybe he has to change before he’s taken to see Cor?

He takes off his wet shirt, then stands with it in his hands. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with it. If he folds it while it’s still wet, it won’t dry properly. He thinks about it for some time, hoping against hope that the silent one will come back in and give him instructions. He doesn’t, though, and he doesn’t quite have the courage to knock on the door and ask. Eventually, he hangs the shirt on the back of one of the chairs. He hopes it’s the right thing to do.

He puts the other shirt back on. Then he changes his pants, too. His pants weren’t wet, but he isn’t sure if he’s supposed to wear one item from the first clothes Cor gave him and one from the second. He doesn’t know what any of the rules are. He looks again at the image on the wall, but there are no words on it. There are no rules posted anywhere here. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to know what to do.

When he’s changed, he sits down on the edge of the bed to wait. He waits for a long time. Outside, the sky gradually changes colour: deep blue to lighter blue, and lighter, and finally to grey, like the day before, but a little darker. The water keeps falling against the window. He wants to go and look again, now that it’s lighter, to see if he can see where it’s coming from. But he won’t make that mistake again.

He estimates that he’s been waiting for two hours when someone quietly opens the door. It’s Cor. His stomach starts to churn.

“You’re up,” he says. “I thought you’d still be asleep.”

“No,” he says. Why did Cor think he would be asleep? Didn’t the silent one tell Cor what he’d done?

Cor nods. “Good,” he says. “Breakfast, then. And you should have a shower.” He jerks his head towards the corridor. “Come on.”

He gets up and follows Cor. The silent one is still standing there – the same one who came in and closed the window. He follows them down the stairs. Cor helps him, but the stairs are easier than they were the day before.

“Getting the hang, huh?” Cor says.

When they get to the kitchen, Cor gives him a piece of fabric. It takes him a moment to identify it as a towel – it’s thicker than any towel he’s ever seen before, and a different colour, deep red instead of grey.

“Let me get a look at your port,” Cor says, gesturing. He turns, and Cor pulls down the neck of his shirt and touches his data-transfer port. “Are these things waterproof?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. “They can be immersed indefinitely with no ill effects.”

“Huh,” Cor says. He stands behind him for a moment longer, feeling around his port. Then he steps back. “Well, then, you know where the shower is.”

He stands with the towel in his hands and looks uncertainly towards the room with the latrine. He saw a showerhead in there before, but he doesn’t know if that’s what Cor meant.

“Yeah,” Cor says, following where he’s looking. “That’s right. Bathroom.”

“Bathroom,” he says. Cor gestures, and he goes into the bathroom. Once there, he pauses.

Cor comes in behind him. “Here,” he says. He reaches over and pulls a lever, and water starts to cascade out of the showerhead. “Soap’s here,” he says, pointing at a bottle. “Shampoo. Conditioner.” Two more bottles. “Take care of those.” He points at the bandages on his arms. “Got it?”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks he understands – not all the words, but it’s clear Cor wants to him to clean himself. He takes off his shirt, and Cor steps back quickly.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” he says, and closes the door.

He takes off his pants, braces himself, and then steps under the showerhead. But – it’s warm. He’s so surprised he can’t help but make a noise. The water’s warm – almost hot – and he wonders for a second if he’s imagining things. But no – no, it’s warm. It’s really warm. He stands, feeling the warmth cascade down his body. It feels – so good. So good. He stands there for a long time, just feeling it. He thinks about seeing the water falling from the dark sky. That wasn’t warm, but it felt good, too. Good in a different way. He wonders where it came from, that water. He wonders why this water is warm. His mind is suddenly whirling with questions, and he closes his eyes.

No. No. He’s always doing this. Every time he promises he won’t do it again, but it always comes back. The questions. The curiosity. He needs to stop.

He takes a deep breath. What is his goal? Clean himself. That’s what Cor ordered. That’s his goal. His goal is all that’s important. Nothing else.

He picks up the bottle Cor said was soap. He’s never seen soap in a bottle before. There’s writing on the side, and he reads it.

It’s instructions.

He feels a sudden wash of relief. Instructions, finally instructions. He reads them greedily, then a second time, to make sure he gets it exactly right. The instructions tell him how to get the soap out onto his hand, how much to use, what to do if he gets it in his eyes. He follows them carefully. The soap smells strange – like nothing he’s smelt before. It isn’t – bad, but it’s strange. He doesn’t pause to sniff it though. The instructions don’t say to do that.

When he’s finished cleaning himself, he picks up one of the other two bottles Cor pointed at. Conditioner, it says on the label. And again: instructions. He almost cheers. But these instructions say: first, shampoo hair. Shampoo. Cor used that word – didn’t he? He picks up the other bottle. Yes, here: shampoo. So he should use this one first. And this one has instructions, too.

It turns out that he’s supposed to put both the shampoo and the conditioner in his hair, one after the other. They smell, too – not the same as the soap, but not bad, either. Not like anything he’s smelt before. He doesn’t stop to think about the smell, though. He follows the instructions, putting the shampoo in his hair twice. The conditioner says to leave it for 1-5 minutes before rinsing out. He’s not sure which is better, so he splits the difference and counts his heartbeats for a hundred and eighty seconds before washing it out of his hair. Then he puts the bottle back.

And then there are no more instructions.

He stands under the cascade of warm water for another seventy-two seconds, trying to think of something else he can to do clean himself so he doesn’t have to turn it off. But he can’t think of anything – he feels as clean as he’s ever been – and so he takes hold of the lever and pushes it. The water stops falling, and he feels suddenly cold. But it was good. It was so good while it lasted.

He reaches out and picks up the towel. When it unfolds, he realises it’s the biggest towel he’s ever seen. It’s big enough to wrap around him twice. He stares at it for a moment, then starts to dry off. It’s – soft. So soft, and warm. He wraps it around himself like a blanket, and stands there for a few seconds. But only a few. Cor said to clean himself, and now he’s clean. He can’t waste time. He needs to find out what his next orders are.

He dresses, then folds up the towel and opens the door. Cor is sitting at the kitchen table, looking at a computer. He looks up when he comes in.

“Better?” he says.

He nods, unsure. Better than what? He holds out the towel.

“Should I–?” he asks, but he can’t think of an end to the question.

Cor takes the towel and hangs it on a hook. He looks him up and down. “We really need to get you some decent clothes,” he says. Then he gestures at the table. “Eat your breakfast.”

He sits down. There’s a cup of the dirty water on the table. Broth, Cor called it. He picks it up and starts sipping. Cor stares at his computer screen. If he’s angry about the window, he doesn’t show it.

Outside, there’s still water falling from the sky. His attention drifts that way, even though he tried to stop it. But – Cor said he could look out of the window, didn’t he? Yes, he said that. It’s just opening the window that’s not permitted. So he looks.

“Shitty weather, right?” Cor says, making him jump. He looks around. Cor’s closed his computer, and now he’s looking at him.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know what shitty weather means.

Cor watches him a moment. “You want to go and see Ignis again today?” he asks. “Maybe hear some more music?”

Music. That’s the word Cor used for the chimes. “Yes,” he says. He wants to hear the chimes again. He wants it so much his stomach hurts.

“Great,” Cor says. “Listen. I’ll take you there, but we need to be careful. Ignis doesn’t know you’re–” he gestures. “Uh. You know, different. From a training facility and that you’ve got all those ports. He thinks you’re just a regular human.”

He swallows. “He thinks I’m human?” he says. It never occurred to him that anyone might think he was human.

Cor pauses for a long moment. “You are human,” he says.

He stares, mouth open. He waits for Cor to say something else, but he doesn’t. “No,” he says at last. “I’m an MT unit.”

“No, you’re not,” Cor says. “They were working on that, but they didn’t succeed. You’re still human.”

Still. He’s never been human. He doesn’t understand how Cor can have got this so wrong. He’s seen his ports. He’s seen his barcode. How can he think he’s human?

“I – no,” he says, and then realises he’s arguing with Cor. The realisation makes his stomach lurch, and he puts down the cup before he drops it. His hands are shaking. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Cor says. He’s leaning forward, frowning. “I’ll get you some water.”

Cor stands up. A moment later, a glass appears in front of him. There’s water in it – clear water, not the dirty kind. Not the broth.

“You all right?” Cor says.

He picks up the glass, but then he’s hit by a wave of panic, out of nowhere, and the glass slips through his fingers. It doesn’t break, but it does spill, all over the table.

“Shit,” Cor says, and leaps for his computer, lifting it up before the water can get to it.

The door opens and the silent one comes in.

“No,” Cor says, pointing at the silent one. “No. We’re fine. He just dropped a glass.”

The silent one stands, surveying the scene. He says something, but he can’t hear it through the escalating buzzing in his ears. His vision’s blurring and his throat closes up. How could he be so stupid? He argued with Cor and then he dropped the glass and now – and now –

His head starts to spin. And then there’s something warm on his arm. On his shoulder. He hears a voice, far away. It’s familiar.

Cor.

He listens. He can’t breathe, and everything in his head is ringing. But he listens to the voice. Cor’s telling him something. Telling him to do something. He needs to hear the voice so he knows what he’s supposed to do. He listens, and after a while he starts being able to make out words over the ringing sound.

“...deep, all right? Just breathe deep. You’re not in trouble. Just breathe. That’s an order.”

It’s an order. So he follows it. It’s not easy at first, but he replays it in his head. That’s an order. That’s an order. And it helps. The breath starts to come a little easier. His vision starts to resolve itself again. The ringing quietens.

When he can see again, he sees Cor kneeling in front of him, gripping his wrist with one hand, his shoulder with the other. Behind him stands the silent one, looking worried.

“Good,” Cor says. “Good. Don’t try to talk. Just breathe for a while.”

So he breathes. After a while, Cor looks back at the silent one.

“Go call Clarus,” he says. “Tell him we’ll be late.”

The silent one nods, then hesitates. “Is the kid OK?” he asks.

“He’ll be fine,” Cor says. “Give us a minute.”

The silent one disappears from his field of view, then. Cor is still kneeling in front of him.

“You all right?” he asks. “Not going to pass out?”

He breathes carefully, deeply. “No,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck, kid,” Cor says. “I am so sick of hearing you apologise.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and then feels caught. Did Cor mean to trap him like that?

But Cor just laughs, sharp, like he’s surprised. “Yeah, I know,” he says. He squeezes his shoulder, then stands up. “Listen,” he says. “We’ll talk about it another time, all right? What you are. Not now. It’s not time for that now. We have to go to the Citadel. Clarus has a couple of engineers with your name on them.”

He swallows. “I don’t have a name,” he says.

Cor stares down at him. “No,” he says. “You don’t.” He looks away, out of the window at the falling water, and sighs. “About Ignis,” he says. “Listen, let’s not – it doesn’t matter what you are. The point is, Ignis doesn’t know. He thinks you’re – normal. Kind of. And I want him to keep thinking that, all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He wants to ask why, but he doesn’t. Cor wants it. That’s enough.

“Great,” Cor says. “So, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to wear the sunglasses any time you’re out of this apartment. Don’t ever take them off, all right? If anyone’s got a problem with that, you refer them to me.”

He nods. The sunglasses are on the table from the night before. He picks them up and wipes off the water, then puts them on.

“Good,” Cor says. “Now, we need to do something about your barcode.” He frowns, then walks off. A minute or two later, he comes back with a roll of bandages in his hand. “Roll up your sleeve,” he says.

He does. Cor winds the bandage around his arm, over the top of the barcode. He ties it off and then pulls his sleeve back down.

“All right,” he says. “If anyone asks: you’re from Insomnia. You were in an accident with your parents. You got hurt, real bad. Your parents died. You have brain damage, so you have trouble with understanding and remembering a lot of stuff. Any other questions, you say I don’t know or I don’t remember. Got it?”

“Yes,” he says. His mind’s whirling, but he understands almost everything Cor says, if not the reasons behind it. He repeats it to himself, trying to get it exactly the way Cor said. Cor frowns down at him.

“No-one’s going to ask,” he says. “I’ve told Ignis not to, and you’re not going to see anyone else. It’s just in case, all right? So don’t freak out.”

He nods. “I understand,” he says.

“Good.” Cor sighs and runs a hand over his face. He picks up the cup with the broth. “Drink more of this,” he says. “And let’s get on with it.”

~

It’s the same as the day before: they go down in the elevator to the basement, and then they get in the car. This time, the silent one is with them. They drive towards the towers with the jet of light, but when they’re part-way there, Cor pulls the car off to the side of the road and stops.

“Keep an eye on him,” he says to the silent one. “I got to grab something.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. Cor gets out of the car and goes into a building. It has colourful pictures all over the windows. He recognises some of the items in the images from the cupboards in Cor’s kitchen, though he can’t remember all their names. Others are unfamiliar.

The water’s still falling from the sky. It’s loud on the roof of the car, and in a few seconds, the view out of the big front window is blurred. He watches, fascinated, as water flows down the window in a thin sheet.

“Shitty weather, huh?” the silent one says, making him start. He remembers the phrase from earlier. He still doesn’t know what it means.

“Yes,” he says. He said it before and Cor didn’t seem unhappy or angry, so he thinks it’s probably right.

The silent one stares out of the window for a moment. He can see him in the mirror.

“You OK?” the silent one says then. “I mean – you freaked out a little back there. I thought you were going to pass out for sure.”

“Yes,” he says. “I didn’t pass out.”

“Yeah, I got that,” the silent one says, laughing a little. “I’m just saying. My little brother has panic attacks sometimes so – I know they really suck.”

He’s trying to decide how to respond to that when Cor comes back, hurrying through the falling water. He’s carrying a red bottle in his hand, and when he gets in the car he holds it out.

“Sports drink,” he says. “I asked for the least strong-tasting one.”

He takes the bottle. “I should drink it?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Cor says, starting the car. “It’ll help keep you going while you’re still learning how to eat properly. If you don’t hate it, I’ll get a bunch.”

He opens the bottle and takes a sip. It tastes – strange. Not thick and greasy like the broth. It’s – clammy and – tastes like the shampoo smelt. It’s not pleasant, but he swallows it and his stomach doesn’t rebel.

Cor watches him. He takes another sip, then another. Cor nods.

“All right,” he says, and pulls out into the road.

~

The first place Cor takes him is a room full of equipment. The light is bright and stark, and it reminds him of the facility. There’s two people there, and when he comes in they look up.

“This the one?” says the taller one. He’s wearing glasses and holding a thin book.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He turns to him. “These guys are going to examine you.”

He nods. The shorter one gets up. She’s wearing glasses, too. She walks up to him and looks him up and down.

“What’s with the shades?” she asks.

“Take the sunglasses off,” Cor says.

He does. The shorter one’s eyes widen. “Whoa,” she says. “Hey, Dig. Take a look at this.”

The taller one stands up and comes over. He stares into his eyes, then looks at his book. “Says here they’re human eyes,” he says.

“No way,” the shorter one says. “You ever see human eyes that colour?”

The taller one shrugs. “That’s what the Doc’s notes say.”

The shorter one whistles. “Crazy cool,” she says. She grabs his arm and pulls him over to a table on wheels, like the one from yesterday. “How do I communicate with it?”

Cor frowns. He looks angry. “You can just talk to him,” he says. “He can understand you.”

“For serious?” the shorter one says. “Full AI?”

“No,” Cor says. His voice is sharp, and the look of excitement on the shorter one’s face suddenly fades. “He’s a person. You’ll treat him like a person. Got it?”

The shorter one swallows. “Yeah,” she says. “Got it. Sorry.”

The taller one steps forward, then. “Get on the table,” he says.

He gets on the table. The taller one stares at his book. “Take your shirt off,” he says.

He takes his shirt off. The shorter one whistles, more subdued now. “What’s that?” she says.

“Ports,” the taller one says. “Didn’t you read the notes at all?”

The shorter one bends her head and prods her finger into his sustenance port. She tugs at it, then tries to get her fingernail between the edge of the port and his skin. It stings.

“Any more?” she says. “Take your pants off.”

He takes his pants off. The shorter one walks around the table. The taller one stares into his eyes. Then he pulls out a light and shines it into them, just like the one with the white coat did the day before. He clicks the light off, then on again, then off and on in rapid succession.

“You are so weird,” he murmurs.

~

He spends a little over two hours in the room with the two people. They touch him all over, pressing their fingers into his skin, moving his arms and legs around, testing him just like the one with the white coat did the day before. Sometimes Cor tells them to stop what they’re doing, and they do. But they always start again soon after.

Cor’s angry the whole time. He tries not to look at him. Cor hasn’t given him any orders, and he hasn’t told him to stop following the orders that the two people give him, so he’s not sure why Cor’s angry. But he is. And after two hours, he suddenly stands up.

“Enough,” he says, sharp enough that both the two people flinch. “You’ve had long enough.”

“Respectfully, sir,” the taller one says, “a lifetime wouldn’t be long enough with tech like this.”

“He’s not tech,” Cor says. He looks like he’s about to say something else, but then he clenches his jaw. “You can look at him again once you’ve had time to think over what you’ve seen today,” he says. “No unnecessary tests. You do what you need and nothing else, got it?”

“Sir–” the shorter one says, but Cor doesn’t even wait to hear what she’s going to say.

“Put your clothes back on,” he says. “We’re leaving.”

He puts the clothes back on. He feels less shaky as soon as he does, even though the room isn’t too cold. Cor grabs his arm, and he feels relieved by the touch. After the two people touching him, this is – familiar, and reassuring. And they’re leaving, and that’s good, too. He doesn’t like this room, even though he isn’t sure why.

Cor walks too fast again, but he doesn’t mind. They’re in the corridor now, the silent one following behind. It’s a different silent one now – not the one who closed the window – but with the same clothes. They walk a long way, then they go up in an elevator. It’s the same one as yesterday, with the white fabric on the walls and the chimes playing. When they get out, they walk along the same corridor to the same door. Cor knocks, and the same voice tells them to come in.

They go in. The one with the glasses is there. He turns towards them.

“Ah,” he says. “I was wondering if I would see you today. I’ve made you some lunch.”

Cor stands in the doorway. He lets out a heavy breath.

“Thanks,” he says. He points towards the table, the same chair as yesterday. He sits down.

“Leek and potato,” the one with the glasses says. He puts a cup down in front of him. “I didn’t strain it, but I can, if need be. See how your stomach holds up.”

He looks at Cor. Cor nods, and he picks up the cup. It smells different from the broth, and it looks green and opaque. He takes a sip. It tastes strong, but he’s prepared for that now. He sips again, waiting for the feeling of warmth in his chest, his stomach. It starts to seep into him, and he sips again.

And then: Cor smiles. “You’re doing great, kid,” he says. He stops sipping, feeling a sudden burst of warmth in his chest that he doesn’t think has anything to do with the food. Cor’s smiling. He sips again. If it makes Cor happy, he’ll drink the whole thing, even if it makes him throw up.

He looks at the one with the glasses. He’s not smiling, but he looks satisfied. “I was beginning to worry you didn’t like my cooking,” he says.

Cor laughs, then, short and relieved-sounding. “Speaking of cooking, you got any for me?” he asks.

“Of course, Marshal,” the one with the glasses says. He produces a round flat white item – a plate, he remembers – with a number of items on top of it: small green spheres, a dark brown cuboid, elongated orange half-cylinders. He recognises the green spheres from a picture on a package Cor showed him yesterday, but he doesn’t remember the name. There’s a smell that makes his stomach curdle a little, but Cor sniffs and makes a noise like he’s satisfied.

“I should get you to cook for me all the time,” he says.

The one with the glasses looks pleased. “It’s certainly rewarding when someone actually enjoys eating,” he says. He lays two implements – knife, he thinks, looking at one of them, but the other he can’t remember – down on the table on either side of the plate, and Cor picks them up and begins to operate on his food. He holds the brown cuboid down with the implement whose name he can’t remember, and then cuts a piece off it with the knife. He puts the piece in his mouth and then chews.

“Are you all right?” the one with the glasses asks.

He realises he’s staring. He turns back to his cup.

“Yes, sir,” he says.

Cor makes a slight choking noise. He swallows. “His name’s Ignis,” he says. “Remember? No sir-ing.”

Oh. He hadn’t realised that was with everyone – he thought it was only Cor who didn’t want to be called sir. “Ignis,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

“Quite all right,” the one with the glasses says. Ignis. Cor wants him to call him Ignis. “I’m sure you’ve met a lot of new people recently.” He peers at him like he’s waiting for something. Cor raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, he’s having a hard time remembering much at all,” he says. “Because of the accident.”

“Ah, yes,” Ignis says. “The accident. I’m so sorry.” He turns away towards the bank of cupboards, and he suddenly recognises what it is. It’s a kitchen. Like Cor’s kitchen. That’s why there’s food here.

“Hey,” Cor says through a mouthful of food, “put some music on, will you? The kid likes it.”

“Do you?” Ignis says, looking back over his shoulder. “Any particular genre?”

He doesn’t know what genre means. He looks at Cor.

“He likes whatever it was you were playing yesterday,” Cor says.

“Hm,” Ignis says. “Quite unusual – a teenage boy who enjoys classical music.”

Cor laughs at that. “Come on, kid,” he says. “You’re still a teenage boy yourself, even if you don’t always act that way.”

Ignis raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. He turns to the wall, and after a moment, chimes start playing. He stops sipping the leek-and-potato and listens. It’s not the same as yesterday, but it’s similar. He can hear all sorts of different tones of chime, and they interweave with each other, some going up when others are going down, or disappearing entirely then reappearing. Sometimes they reinforce each other and sometimes they seem to almost be talking, one tone speaking and the other responding. It’s – complex, and satisfying. He wants to understand how it works. He gets lost looking for the details.

There’s a sharp snap in his ear, and he starts, then turns to look at Cor. He’s holding his hand out. He made the noise with his fingers.

“Drink your soup,” Cor says.

He looks down at the cup. He’d forgotten it was there. He picks it up and sips. Cor seems happy with that, and so he settles down to try and drink the leek-and-potato and listen to the chimes at the same time. It’s difficult to concentrate on the new taste and the new sounds at once, and it becomes even more difficult when Cor and Ignis start talking and he has to listen to that, too.

“Shit,” says Cor, looking at his phone. He looks up and frowns. “I’ve got to–” He stops. He looks at him. “Hm.”

“Is something the matter, Marshal?” Ignis asks. He’s eating now as well, he sees – the same thing as Cor. He doesn’t know when he started doing that. He needs to pay more attention.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “I’ve got to go.” He looks at Ignis, and then at him.

Ignis looks at him as well. Then he looks at Cor. “I can keep an eye on him, if you want,” he says. “He’s clearly no trouble.”

Cor leans back in his seat. He taps his fingertips on the table, frowning first at him, then at Ignis. Then he leans forward.

“He doesn’t like talking,” he says. “Because of the brain damage. He gets confused. So – remember I told you not to ask him any questions?”

Ignis inclines his head. “I remember,” he says. “I will do my utmost not to upset him.”

Cor watches him in silence for a moment. Then he nods.

“That all right with you, kid?” he asks. “If I leave you here with Ignis for an hour or two?”

He nods. “Yes, Cor,” he says.

“Right.” Cor stands up, but he doesn’t leave straight away. He stands still. Looking first at him, then at Ignis. “You’ll call me if – anything happens,” he says to Ignis.

Ignis nods, and Cor sighs, and then turns. He leaves the room and closes the door quietly behind him.

Ignis turns to look at him. “He’s very concerned for your welfare,” he says.

He’s not sure what the appropriate response is. Thankfully, Ignis doesn’t seem to expect him to answer.

“It must have been a terrible accident,” he says. He stands up, picking up Cor’s empty plate and his own. Then he glances over his shoulder. “That’s an – interesting piece of jewelry.”

He reaches up to touch the metal strap, then remembers that Cor said not to. He lowers his hand again.

Ignis opens a cupboard and puts the plates inside. Then he turns back to him. “Do you like this music?”

“Yes,” he says.

Ignis nods. “Have you heard it before?”

“No,” he says, and then, remembering what Cor told him about how to respond to questions, “I – can’t remember.”

Ignis considers him. His gaze is cool, but not angry. “You’ve forgotten a great deal,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. It’s true, he’s forgotten so much.

“It must be very difficult,” Ignis says. Then he sits down. “The composer’s name is Argentum. A Lucian, though he spent much of his career in Tenebrae.”

He sits, waiting for more information. He doesn’t know the meaning of several of the words Ignis said.

“This piece is called Spring,” Ignis says. “If you listen, you can hear the woodwind opening up, like flowers.”

He doesn’t know spring, woodwind and flowers. He nods, hoping it isn’t too obvious.

“I’ll play it from the beginning,” Ignis says. “It has more impact as a whole piece.”

He stands up, goes over to the wall. He presses a button and the music stops, then starts again, from the beginning. Ignis comes back and sits down.

“Listen,” he says.

~

They listen. After a while, Ignis gets up and begins to perform operations in the kitchen. He tries to remember what Cor called it. Cooking. He doesn’t speak, but he does turn the music up so it’s easier to hear over the noise of him cooking. Some time later, he sits down again.

“Should you be drinking that?” he asks, pointing at the red bottle he’s been carrying with him all day.

“Oh,” he says. He opens it. It’s only half empty. Yes, Cor wanted him to drink all of it. “Yes.”

Ignis watches him sipping at it. “What does the music make you think of?” he asks.

He thinks. Listens and thinks. “The sky,” he says at last. The music changes colours and moods, just like the sky. It’s beautiful, like the sky.

Ignis smiles. “Indeed,” he says. “How interesting.”

He sips at the drink. Ignis doesn’t say anything. Then a ringing noise goes off.

“Ah,” Ignis says. He gets to his feet and opens the cupboard for heating. “Good.” He pulls out a tray with items on it. He looks over his shoulder.

“I cook for the prince,” he says. “I must say, he’s much pickier than you, and unlike you he has no good excuse.”

He doesn’t know the correct response, so he just nods. And then, suddenly, he’s burning with questions. How are the chimes made? Are the ones with different tones made in different ways? Why does water fall out of the sky? Where does it come from? How are different foods constructed? Are they made in a lab? What are the raw materials? How does Ignis know which one to put in which kind of vessel?

He doesn’t ask any questions. He swallows them down and sips on his drink. Ignis continues to cook, and the chimes keep playing.

When the bottle’s empty, he cradles it to his chest. Outside, there’s still water falling against the window. He listens to it, and to the music. And eventually, just as on the day before, he falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, it’s because Cor’s calling him. He opens his eyes. His body aches in a number of places. The back of the chair is digging into his spine.

“That definitely doesn’t look comfortable,” Cor says. “You didn’t want to sleep on the couch?”

He blinks and wipes his hand across his mouth. His other hand is still clutching the red bottle. He didn’t know he was allowed to sit on the couch.

“Come on, kid,” Cor says. “We gotta go. Thanks for watching him for me, Ignis.”

“He was no trouble at all,” Ignis says. “In fact, it was rather pleasant to have some company.”

Cor doesn’t quite smile, but he looks pleased. “Better not say stuff like that, or I’ll be bringing him back here every day,” he says.

Ignis inclines his head. “I would have no objection,” he says. “Although if you plan to fall asleep again tomorrow, I certainly recommend you do it on the couch.”

He swallows. His mouth is dry, but there’s no more liquid in his bottle. “Yes,” he says. He manages to stop himself from adding sir.

Cor looks at him. “You want to come back here tomorrow?” he says.

He nods. Here, where there’s chimes and warmth and nobody’s running any tests. He wants to come here as often as he can.

“All right,” Cor says. “Ignis, bill the Crownsguard for all the food.”

Ignis’ mouth twitches at the corners. “I already have,” he says.

Cor laughs at that, then gestures at the door. He stands up and follows Cor. When they reach the doorway, though, Cor turns back.

“See you tomorrow,” he says.

Ignis looks up and smiles.

“Indeed,” he says. “I will see you both tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

That night, the water stops falling from the sky.

It wakes him up – the silence. He’d gotten used to the quiet drumming of water against the glass of the window, and when it stops, he’s suddenly awake. He lies in the bed for a while, wondering why the water stopped falling. Why it started falling in the first place. Does it mean anything? No-one seemed alarmed by it. Maybe it happens all the time, outside.

After a while, he feels restless. He stands up and goes to the window. It’s dark outside – the sky not blue now, but black. Like there’s nothing there at all. He contemplates it, wondering why it changes colour all the time.

Then he passes out.

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to the sight of the silent one – the one who closed the window the night before – hovering over him, looking worried.

“Hey,” the silent one says. “You all right?”

He’s lying on the floor. His head hurts. “Yes,” he says. He tries to sit up, but his head spins, and he’s falling again. The silent one catches him.

“Take it easy,” he says. “You’re sick.”

Cor said the same thing. Sick. Sick means defective. He doesn’t think he’s sick. He feels fine. Apart from the passing out. And the dizziness.

The silent one frowns down at him. “Six,” he mutters, then, “Hey, let’s get you back to bed.”

The silent one tries to help him up, but his muscles don’t seem to work at all. Eventually, the silent one crouches and picks him up, lifting him off the ground completely. He staggers over to the bed and lays him down on it. Then he stares down at him.

“Is this an MT thing?” he asks. “Does this – happen a lot?”

He hears the words, but they sound far away. Really far.

“Yes,” he says, and his own voice sounds far away, too. Then he realises it’s not the right answer. “No.”

“I’ll get you some water,” the silent one says. He turns away.

Before the silent one comes back, he’s asleep again.

~

The next time he wakes up, the room is full of light. It’s not the grey light from before – this light is startlingly clear, with a warm hint of yellow to it. He blinks against it, dimming his vision. When he can see, he sees Cor sitting at the table by the bed, frowning at his computer.

He must make some kind of noise, because Cor turns to look at him. His frown deepens.

“Arcis says you passed out,” he says. “You feel dizzy?”

He considers. He doesn’t feel like he did when he was awake in the night. All of that seems unreal, now, like it happened to someone else. But the silent one told Cor about it, so it must have happened.

“No,” he says.

Cor nods. “Get up,” he says. “I want the doctor to look at you.”

He sits up. And sees: blue.

Outside the window, the sky is blue.

He stares at it. Then he looks at Cor. But Cor doesn’t seem to see anything strange about the sky. He doesn’t look alarmed. But why is it blue? Not the deep blue he’s seen before, but a bright, clear blue, a colour he doesn’t remember ever having seen before. How can it be blue now when it was grey before?

“Hey,” Cor says, “you OK? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He swallows. Cor doesn’t think it’s strange. So it must be normal, that the sky looks like that – bright and blue and suffused with a clear light. It’s normal, it must be normal.

Cor follows his gaze to the window.

“Did you see something outside?” he asks.

Yes. Yes, he saw something. He sees something. He feels, suddenly, as though he can see everything.

With an effort, he turns his face away.

“No,” he says, starting to climb out of bed. “Sorry.”

~

They drive to the two towers again. This time, though, he can’t keep his eyes on the road, or the people – even though there’s even more of them than there were the first day. He can’t stop looking at the sky.

It’s different, now. It’s so different from how it was when it was grey. First, it seems like it goes on for ever. He can see no end to it, just blue, blue, blue, and no matter how much he adjusts his vision, the depth seems endless. And second, where before the light was diffuse and seemed to come from no particular source, now the source is very clear: there’s a light in the sky, low down near the horizon. He sees it when the car first pulls up onto the street, and he’s struck dumb. He can’t tell how far away it is, but it’s bright – it’s so bright, even when he dims his vision as far as it will go, he can’t look directly at it. Any attempt leaves shimmering red splotches on his vision that take a long time to dissipate.

He thinks the light is circular, though he can’t look at it long enough to be sure. It’s strong enough that every time they pass into the shade of one of the buildings, the temperature falls a little. He’s never seen such a powerful light, and it’s just hanging – it’s just hanging in the sky, with no visible means of support, no visible source of power.

And Cor doesn’t even look. He doesn’t even seem to notice it, this astonishing thing. This light that is certainly far away but is bright enough to burn his eyes and hot enough to feel its warmth even at this distance. Bu Cor doesn’t seem alarmed, or amazed, or even like he’s aware it exists at all.

They stop at the same place they stopped at before, and Cor goes into the building with the colourful pictures. The light’s behind them now, and he turns to look at it. The silent one is in the back seat. He frowns and turns as well.

“What’re you looking at?” he asks.

“The light,” he says.

“What light?” The silent one turns back to look at him, frowning. “Are you seeing lights?”

Suddenly, he doubts himself. How can there be a light in the sky, hanging from nothing and powered by nothing? A light that no-one seems to notice but him? He looks back again. There it is: shining between two buildings, too bright to look at. But is it really there? Is he hallucinating? Or – is this a defect? Another sign that he needs modification?

The door opens and Cor gets into the car. He’s carrying a white plastic sack with a number of the red bottles in it, and he throws it into the back seat beside the silent one.

“Got a few, so we don’t run out,” he says.

“Hey,” the silent one says. “Listen – I’m kind of worried about the kid. He said he’s seeing lights.”

Cor turns sharply towards him, frowning ferociously. He presses himself back into the seat. He wishes he hadn’t said anything to the silent one about the light. Now Cor thinks he’s defective. Now he’s angry.

“What lights?” Cor says. “Have you got a headache?”

He does – pain is throbbing behind his right eye. He hadn’t really noticed it until now.

Cor leans forward, reaching for him. He tries to move as far away as he can, but he’s up against the car door and there’s nowhere else to go. Cor pauses, then, hand hovering.

“I want to check your eyes,” he says. “I’m not going to hurt you. You get that, right?”

He nods. He didn’t know, but he’s not going to tell Cor that. He doesn’t want to explain that he thought Cor was going to correct him, in case it makes Cor realise he does want to correct him, after all.

Cor reaches out again. He takes the sunglasses, and then leans over him. He pulls out his phone and taps the screen. A bright light starts coming out of his phone. He shines the light in one of his eyes, then the other. Then he sits back, frown deepening. Then he shakes his head.

“Did he hit his head last night?” he says to the silent one.

“I didn’t see it,” the silent one says. “I heard the thump and came in. He was already on the floor.”

Cor nods.

“Doctor,” he says.

And he starts the car.

~

Cor takes him back to see the one with the white coat. She’s in the same room – the room with all the equipment he thought was for correction. He’s not sure any more, but he still feels his stomach sink when he realises where they’re going.

“He passed out last night,” Cor says. “Says he’s seeing lights this morning.”

The one with the white coat nods and gestures to the table on wheels. He climbs up onto it, wondering again if he’s going to be modified now. He wasn’t last time. He feels that knowledge warring with sick nerves in his gut.

The one with the white coat shines a light into his eyes. He doesn’t understand why everyone keeps shining lights into his eyes. But he keeps them open, and watches as she steps back.

“Headache?” she asks.

He nods. It’s worse now. The light in his eyes didn’t help.

“What’s wrong with him?” Cor asks. He sounds angry.

“So far, I can tell you he has a headache,” the one with the white coat says. Cor glares at her, and she shrugs. “His eyes don’t react normally to light. You know that. They’re behaving the same way they did last time he was here. I don’t know if that’s how they’re supposed to behave or not.”

Cor looks even angrier, but he doesn’t say anything. The one with the white coat puts her fingers on his wrist to count his heartbeats. Then she puts a strap around his arm, just like the one he had before when the one from the phone asked him all the questions. She pumps the strap up, then lets it down, and writes something on her clipboard.

“Tell me about the lights you’re seeing,” she says.

He doesn’t want to talk about the light. He wishes he’d never mentioned it. If he talks about it, she’ll know he’s defective.

She raises her eyebrows, waiting. Then Cor speaks.

“She asked you a question, kid,” he says.

So he has to speak. He takes a deep breath.

“It’s only one light,” he says.

She nods, writing something down. “What colour is it?”

“Uh – white,” he says. “Or – yellow. It’s bright – I can’t look at it properly.”

The one with the white coat pauses in her writing, glancing at him.

“Can you see it now?” she asks.

“No,” he says. “It’s only outside.”

“Outside?” she says. She looks at Cor, then back at him. “Where outside?”

“In the sky,” he says. Just hanging there, with nothing holding it up.

She taps her pen against her lower lip. “Is it warm?” she asks.

He nods, surprised. Does she see the light, too, when she goes outside?

The one with the white coat sighs, then, and puts down her clipboard. “He’s talking about the sun,” she says to Cor.

Cor makes an incredulous face. “No, he’s not,” he says. “He didn’t say sun. He said lights.”

“The sun is a light, Marshal,” the one with the white coat says. “You said he’s never been outside before so – is there any reason to believe he’d know what the sun looks like?”

Cor’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out. He turns to stare at him, mouth still open.

“Did you mean the sun?” he says at last.

He shifts, feeling like he’s done something he shouldn’t have, though he’s not sure what it is. He’s heard the word sun before, but he doesn’t really know what it means.

“I don’t know,” he says.

Cor frowns at him. But the one in the white coat steps back in front of him.

“What did you eat yesterday?” she asks.

He tries to remember. “Leek-and-potato,” he says.

“Soup?” she asks.

He nods, though he’s not completely sure. He thinks he remembers Cor calling it soup.

“How much?” she asks.

“Two cups,” he says. “And the red drink.”

She glances at Cor. “Sports drink,” Cor says.

The one with the white coat nods.

“Not enough food,” she says to Cor. “That’s why he passed out. Two cups of soup and a sports drink is not enough to keep a teenage boy going.”

Cor frowns. “He’s finding it hard to eat much,” he says.

“Then he’ll just have to eat more often,” the one with the white coat says. “As often as possible.”

Cor stares at her, then looks at him.

“That can be arranged,” he says.

~

Cor takes him back upstairs after they leave the one with the white coat. They go in the elevator, and Cor walks slowly – much more slowly than usual. The silent one follows behind them.

They’re in the elevator for a long time. The numbers showing the floor go up – and up – and up. Finally, there’s a chime and the door opens. Cor takes him down a long hallway. There’s a tall door at the end, and Cor opens it, then takes hold of his arm and steps through.

And then they’re outside.

He’s been outside before – in the moments between climbing out of the car and going into the building. He’s looked at it through the windows. But now – now, they’re standing on a kind of platform. It projects from the side of the building, and there’s a railing around it. And it’s high up – it’s high, high above the ground. And he can see forever.

And the sky – the sky goes on forever. It arches overhead, a great, blue dome that shimmers slightly. It’s above him, around him, in front of him. And there’s the light – the ball of fire that hangs in the sky. The warmth falls on his skin, and he tilts his head up, closing his eyes.

“Is that what you meant, kid?” Cor says. “The sun?”

He opens his eyes again. “That’s the light,” he says. “You see it, too?”

Cor falls silent. He turns to look at the light. “Yeah,” he says at last. “I see it.”

He feels a sudden rush of relief. He’s not defective – not in that way, anyway. Cor sees the light as well. The light is the sun. That’s what sun means.

He’s never seen anything so beautiful.

Cor sighs. “All right,” he says. “We’ll get you something to eat.”

Cor takes his arm, but then he pauses, frowning at him.

“You all right?” he says. “Are you – crying?”

He is, he realises. The tears are leaking out under the sunglasses (sunglasses, he realises – they’re designed for the sun, because it’s so bright). He wipes the tears away.

“Sorry,” he says.

“What are you crying about?” Cor asks.

He can’t explain it. He points – at the sky, at the sun. “I’ve never seen it before,” he says.

Cor turns back to look at it. Then he runs a hand over his face.

“Shit, kid,” he mutters. “You’re breaking my heart.”

He doesn’t know what Cor means. But Cor stands still, then, and doesn’t take him back inside, and he’s glad – he’s so glad to stand out here, high above the ground, and feel the warmth of the sun on his skin. He closes his eyes again, thinking about the way the warmth feels. But he opens them not long later, because he wants to look at it all. He wants to see. He wishes he could somehow keep an image of this, exactly the way it looks in this moment, in his mind forever. He knows he won’t be able to – no matter how much he tries to remember it, the details will fade or change – but he looks anyway, looks at everything, tries to remember the way the road shines with reflected light, the way the sky shimmers and seems infinitely far away and almost close enough to touch at the same time. He feels – light. Not light-headed, but as if he’s floating in a quite different way. And Cor frowns at him.

“Huh,” he says. “I didn’t know you knew how to smile.”

He realises that Cor’s right – he’s smiling. He tries to remove the expression from his face, but Cor puts a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s good,” he says. “Keep smiling.”

So he does.

~

Eventually, Cor takes him back inside. He takes him down in the elevator, and when they get out he immediately recognises the corridor. They’re going to see Ignis.

Ignis is sitting at a table when they arrive. He has papers piled up beside him and a pen in his hand.

“Good morning,” he says. “I didn’t expect you so soon.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Cor says. “I’ve got some things I gotta do, and I’d rather leave the kid here than drag him with me. If that’s all right with you.”

“Of course,” Ignis says. He gestures to the couch. “Be my guest.”

He sits on the couch. It’s even softer than he remembers. He leans back, letting himself sink in. He closes his eyes, remembering the picture he tried to make in his mind: the blue, shimmering sky, the warmth of the sun, the clarity of the light. He hears Cor walking over to Ignis, speaking to him in a low voice. He sharpens his hearing to listen.

“...passed out,” Cor’s saying. “Doc says he needs to eat a lot more. More calories, I guess. I’m sorry, Ignis, I know you’ve got a lot of other things to do.”

“That’s quite all right,” Ignis says. “It doesn’t take much more effort to cook a large batch than a small one. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Great,” Cor says. “Thanks. And if he goes down again, you call me, all right? Don’t hesitate.”

“Understood,” Ignis says.

The footsteps come back towards him, and he opens his eyes to see Cor standing in front of him. He’s holding one of the red bottles.

“Drink this,” he says, holding it out, “and try to eat whatever Ignis gives you. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

He takes the bottle. “Yes,” he says.

Cor nods, and turns away. He leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

He opens the bottle and starts to sip. Ignis rises to his feet.

“Let’s have some music, shall we?” he says. He goes to the machine in the wall that plays music, and a moment later, the chimes sound across the room.

Ignis goes back to his table. “I’m afraid I’ve got rather a lot of reading to do this morning,” he says. “I hope you won’t be too bored.”

He doesn’t know bored. “No,” he says. “I won’t.”

And he settles back to listen to the music.

~

He eats a lot that day. His stomach is constantly full, and every time it starts to feel a little less heavy, Ignis is there with another cup. He knows Cor wants him to eat more, so he does his best. Sometimes, though, he barely keeps himself from throwing up, and he sips on the red drink, hoping that Ignis will consider it just as good and stop bringing him cups of soup and broth.

He sleeps, too. He sleeps once in the morning, while Ignis is busy writing at his table, and then again after what Ignis calls lunch. The second time, when he wakes up, he’s lying on his side on the couch, with a blanket over him. He’s not sure whether it’s permitted, and he sits up quickly, but Ignis doesn’t seem to mind.

He spends all day with Ignis, and it’s – easy. Ignis doesn’t ask him many questions or try to run any tests on him. He talks to him sometimes – he explains things about the music, most of which he doesn’t understand, and he talks about cooking – but he doesn’t seem to expect him to say much in response. In the afternoon, the light in the room changes, and Ignis goes and stands in front of the window.

“It’s so pleasant to see the sun after so many grey days,” Ignis says.

He stands up, too. He goes to stand next to Ignis and look at the sun.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s beautiful.”

Ignis turns to look at him. He looks surprised. “Yes,” he says. “Indeed it is.”

~

Cor comes back to fetch him, but he brings him back the next day, and the next. He spends a lot of time doing his best to eat, or sleeping on the couch. He drinks the red drink and listens to music. Ignis reads a lot, he discovers. When he’s not reading, he’s cooking. He never seems to be angry, and he never asks many questions.

It’s easy.

On the fifth day that Cor brings him to see Ignis, he falls asleep on the couch after lunch. It’s not unusual – he’s done it every day so far, except the day he fells asleep in the hard-backed chair instead. But this time, he’s woken by the bang of the door, closing harder than it usually does.

“Ignis, who’s in charge of appointing teachers in Lucis?” asks a voice he doesn’t recognise.

Ignis clears his throat.

“Because I swear,” the voice continues, “they only ever pick the oldest, most boring – uh.”

The voice stops when he sits up. It belongs to a new person – one with black hair who looks like a level two, except he’s human. The level two stares at him.

“Who’re you?” he asks.

“Noct,” Ignis says, gesturing, “a word, if I may?”

Ignis takes the level two to the other side of the room. He lowers his voice to a whisper, so he sharpens his hearing to listen.

“This young man is under the – protection of Marshal Leonis,” Ignis says.

“Protection?” the level two says. “What do you means, protection? Who is he?”

“It seems he was in a terrible accident,” Ignis says. “He’s sustained some damage to his brain, and it appears Cor has taken on the burden of caring for him.”

The level two glances at him, frowning. “Brain damage?” he whispers. “Cor’s looking after some kid with brain damage? Why?”

Ignis shrugs. “I have wondered if the young man might be related to him in some way,” he says. “Either way, Cor has asked that he be treated kindly, and not be asked any questions. It seems he has a difficult time remembering many things, and questions may upset him.”

A pause. “OK,” the level two says, “but why is he here? Shouldn’t he be with Cor?”

“Cor asked me to keep him company,” Ignis says. “He needs to eat to regain his strength, and Cor thought I might be able to tempt him with my cooking.”

The level two makes a sighing noise. “Fine,” he says. “What’s his name?”

“Ah,” says Ignis. “Well, that is one of the questions that it seems Cor would prefer we not ask.”

“Seriously?” the level two says. “You don’t even know his name? What is this, some kind of witness protection thing?”

“I have wondered the same thing,” Ignis says. “There’s certainly something strange going on here. But the young man himself is polite and unassuming, and if Cor needs my help...”

There’s another pause, then the level two sighs again, more heavily this time. “Fine,” he says. He turns and walks across the room to one of the soft chairs. He’s carrying a bag over one shoulder, and he drops it by the chair, then sits down, breathing out in a rush of air.

“Hi,” he says.

He swallows. “Hi,” he says. It’s a greeting. He’s heard people saying it over the last few days, and he thinks he got it right.

The level two stares at him. His eyes are dark blue, and they make him feel uncomfortable, like his skin’s itching.

“What’s with the shades?” the level two asks.

He remembers the one who examined his ports saying the same thing a few days ago, right before Cor told him to take his sunglasses off. He doesn’t know what the question means. He remembers what Cor told him – to reply to questions with I don’t know or I can’t remember – but he’s still trying to decide which one might be more appropriate when Ignis speaks.

“I should think the light hurts his eyes,” he says. “Comas can weaken every part of someone’s body, even their eyesight.”

He looks at Ignis. “Yes,” he says. He thinks now that the level two was talking about the sunglasses. Shades, because they shade the light, maybe. “The light hurts my eyes.”

Ignis watches him for a moment, as though he’s considering something. Then he nods.

“This is Prince Noctis,” he says, gesturing at the level two. “You remember I told you I cook for him?”

He nods. He doesn’t want to look at the level two again. He thinks he’s still staring.

“Well, Noct, you’d better get started on your homework,” Ignis says.

“Yeah, whatever,” the level two says. “In a minute.” He looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and he sees that he’s pulled his phone out and is staring at it.

Ignis sighs. He goes back to his table, where he’s been reading through a thick book all day. Now he’s further away than the level two. Now the room doesn’t feel as warm as it did before. He starts to hope that Cor will come to collect him soon.

“What’s with the music?” the level two says, then. “Did somebody die?”

Ignis looks up, raising an eyebrow. “This is some of the most sublime music ever composed in Lucis, Noct. You might try learning to appreciate your heritage some time.”

The level two sighs again. Then he looks at him.

“Don’t worry about Specs,” he says. “He was forty-five when he was born.”

He’s still trying to puzzle out what this statement means when the level two gets up and goes over to the wall where the music apparatus is housed. A moment later, the rich, smooth, swelling sound of the chimes is replaced by something loud, discordant, and thumping. The transition is so sharp and unexpected it makes him jump.

“Turn it down a little, at least,” Ignis says, shouting to make himself heard over the music.

The music gets quieter, but the lowest chimes still throb through his skull, making his headache worse. He sips at the red bottle and keeps his eyes on the ground. The level two drifts back to his chair and starts looking at his phone again.

And everything’s different. It’s the same room, Ignis is still there, there’s even still music. But now he feels nervous, sitting as still as he can, watching the level two out of the corner of his eye, wondering what he should be doing. Every time the level two shifts position slightly, a thrill runs through his stomach. The music doesn’t help, something about the speed of the rhythm and the strange, tortured sound that he thinks is a person’s voice making him feel even more on edge. Everything’s different.

He hopes Cor comes to collect him soon.

Chapter Text

The level two stays for two hours, staring at his phone and exchanging a few words with Ignis, then leaves. Shortly after that, Cor comes to collect him. By that time, Ignis has changed the music back to what it was before, and he’s starting to feel a little less nauseated. He wants to ask if the level two will be there again the next day, but he doesn’t. Cor’s quiet and seems angry, and he doesn’t want to ask him anything at all.

That night, Cor disappears into another room almost as soon as they get home, leaving him alone in the kitchen. He sits there, wondering what he should do. Outside, the light is diminishing. The sky is going from light grey to darker grey, and now he knows that soon it will be blue and then black. The same thing happens every day, and he assumes that for some reason the fire in the sun goes out gradually every evening and then is lit again in the morning. He stares at the window, wondering how it happens. How big is the sun? He isn’t sure, but the amount of light and warmth it produces without any audible noise of burning suggests it must be very far away and therefore also very big. Who is responsible for lighting the fires in the morning and putting them out in the evening? He thinks it must take an army of people. Or MT units, perhaps. Yes, that seems more plausible. He wonders what it’s like, lighting the fires of the sun every day. He wonders if he could be trained for that, or if he’s too defective.

Eventually, the light is gone, and the kitchen is dark, lit only by the LEDs on the cooking machines and the faint light that comes up from the street below. He adjusts his vision so that he can still see most of the room, though the parts in deep shadow are invisible. He considers switching to night vision mode, but it always makes him feel sick, and there’s nothing in here he particularly needs to look at, so he doesn’t.

After a while, the door opens. Light floods in through the doorway, and he quickly dims his vision so he can see who’s there. It’s the silent one – the one who closed the window. He always appears in the evenings and stays until mid-morning, when a different silent one takes over.

“Just checking in for my – uh,” the silent one says. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

He looks around. “The sun went out,” he says.

“Uh, yeah,” the silent one says. He turns on the light in the kitchen. “What are you doing in here?”

He looks around again. “I’ m not doing anything,” he says. “Am I supposed to be doing something? I didn’t get any instructions.”

The silent one stares at him. “Aren’t you bored?” he says at last.

He remembers that Ignis said something about bored before, but he still doesn’t know what it means. I hope you won’t be bored, Ignis said. So bored is something bad, that he shouldn’t be.

“No,” he says.

“Huh.” The silent one stares at him some more. Then he comes round and sits at the table. He stares for a little while more. Finally, he speaks. “You know how to play Altissian pickup?” he asks.

He shakes his head. The silent one produces a small, flat, oblong box. He opens it, and pulls out a stack of cardboard rectangles.

“It’s simple,” he says. “Hearts are trumps. Each player gets seven cards, then there’s one card on the table. Each player lays down a card in turn, overlapping like this, and if you can make a three, a four, or a straight with the cards in your hand and one that’s in the pile you can pick up every card on top of the one in the pile. First player to get rid of all their cards gets twenty points, but you get points for the cards in front of you as well. Here.”

He starts to put the oblong pieces of cardboard down on the table. First he puts one in front of him, then one in front of himself. He does this seven times, so there are seven pieces of cardboard in front of each of them. They all have the same image on them, a network of lines that forms diamond shapes. Then he puts the rest of the stack down in the middle of the table, picks up the top piece of cardboard, and turns it the other way up. It has seven large red diamond shapes on it and two number 7s in opposite corners with smaller diamonds underneath them.

“All right,” he says, picking up the pile of seven pieces of cardboard in front of him and holding them up in a sort of fan-shape. “I dealt, so you go first. Practice round, till you get the hang.”

He stares at the silent one for a moment, then looks down at the pile of pieces of cardboard in front of him. He picks them up the same way, and holds them like a fan, glancing at the silent one to make sure he’s doing the right thing. On the other side, all the pieces of cardboard are different. Most have symbols and numbers on them, either in red or in black, but some have images of people with two heads and no legs, and those have letters on them instead of numbers. He puzzles over them for a little while, trying to understand what the images are showing, until the silent one clears his throat.

“You go first,” the silent one says.

He doesn’t understand the instructions. He spends a few seconds trying to put all the clues together to see if he can avoid having to reveal his stupidity once again, but the silent one is raising his eyebrows, and he realises that failing to follow instructions for too long is probably worse than looking stupid. So he takes the plunge.

“Go where?” he asks.

The silent one stares at him. He starts to point at the piece of cardboard that’s on the table, the one with the red diamonds on it, but then he pauses, frowning.

“Have you ever played cards before?” he asks.

Slowly, he shakes his head. He doesn’t truly understand the question, but he’s pretty sure whatever played cards is, he’s never done it.

The silent one puts the pieces of cardboard he’s holding down on the table. “Do you even know what cards are?” he asks. He points at the pieces of cardboard. “Playing cards?”

He looks at the pieces of cardboard. “They’re – images?” he says. “A counting system?”

The silent one leans back in his chair. He puts his hands behind his head and interlaces the fingers. He stares.

“I’m sorry,” he says. He knows he’s stupid. There are so many things he doesn’t understand, now that Cor is his commander. He wishes Cor would give him some kind of comprehensive instruction manual, since there are no posters or announcements to help him to learn his new orders.

Abruptly, the silent one sits upright again.

“It’s fine,” he says. He takes the stack of pieces of cardboard and turns it over, then spreads it out so that most of the pieces are visible. “Look,” he says. “These are called playing cards. Or just cards. Got it?”

“Cards,” he says. “Yes, I understand.”

~

The silent one spends a long time teaching him about playing cards. There are fifty-four cards in a pack, of which fifty-two are divided into four suits of thirteen cards each. Each suit has its own symbol, and each suit has the same range of numbers (two to ten) and then four other cards, which are called picture cards and have names instead of numbers. Then there are two jokers. The cards are used to play card games, and each card game has different rules about what can be done with each type of card. The silent one is about to start teaching him the rules of a card game when Cor suddenly appears in the doorway.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” he says, frowning.

He looks up. “Was I supposed to go to bed?” he asks. He doesn’t remember Cor telling him to go to bed – but then, there’s a lot he doesn’t remember lately. He hopes he didn’t forget it.

“It’s late,” Cor says. He seems to think that’s an answer to the question. He tries to decide whether that means he was supposed to be in bed or not. Cor obviously thought he would be, so he must have been supposed to go. Did Cor tell him to go? He thinks he remembers the whole evening, but Cor seems to think he should have known what to do, so maybe he has forgotten something and just not noticed. He feels suddenly unsteady, as though the floor’s shifting under his feet. He stands up.

“Should I go to bed now?” he asks.

“Yeah, kid,” Cor says. “Get some sleep. See you in the morning.”

“Yes,” he says. He leaves the kitchen and goes up the stairs. He still feels off-balance, and he holds tight to the rail so that he doesn’t fall. Behind him, the kitchen door closes, and then he hears the murmur of voices. He sharpens his hearing so he can hear what they’re saying.

“Why was he still up?” Cor asks.

“I didn’t realise it was so late,” the silent one says. “I was teaching him Altissian pickup.”

“You’re not supposed to be teaching him anything,” Cor says. “You’re supposed to be watching him.”

“Sure,” the silent one says. “I didn’t take my eyes off him. Much easier to watch him from in the same room than from outside the door, by the way.”

There’s a silence, and then, sounding significantly less cheerful, the silent one says, “Sir.”

He reaches the top of the stairs and goes into the room where he sleeps. He sits on the bed and takes his shoes off. Then he lies down and closes his eyes. He has to sharpen his hearing a little more to hear what Cor and the silent one are saying now.

“Permission to speak freely, sir,” the silent one says.

“Doesn’t seem like you need my permission, these days,” Cor says. Then he sighs. “Say what you gotta say.”

“When I came in – the kid was just sitting in the dark,” the silent one says. “No idea how long he’d been there. Seems like when the sun went down he just – never turned on the light.”

There’s a pause. “What was he doing?” Cor asks.

“Nothing,” the silent one says. “Says no-one gave him any instructions. So he was just sitting there.”

There’s another pause, longer this time. Then Cor speaks again. He sounds tired.

“Understood,” he says. “Get to your post.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. Then there’s the sound of the kitchen door opening and closing, and footsteps on the stairs. After that, there’s no more talking to listen to, so he lets his hearing come back to normal levels.

He changes into the clothes he’s supposed to wear at night and gets into the bed. He doesn’t sleep for a while, though. He stares at the ceiling, thinking about the playing cards. The system is pleasingly well-ordered – even the picture cards have underlying assigned numerical values which the silent one didn’t mention but became clear nonetheless through the conversation. The ace card can either be worth one or fourteen, and that’s an anomaly, but at the same time it allows the whole suit to make a closed circle, and that’s pleasing, too. The fact that the rules for use of the cards apparently change with each type of game is concerning, but the fact that there are rules – and that the silent one seems willing to explain them – feels more solid than almost anything else since he came to be under Cor’s command. He still doesn’t understand the purpose of the card games, but he hopes the silent one will teach him the rules to one tomorrow.

With that thought in mind, he drifts off to sleep.

~

The next day, Cor frowns at him while they’re having breakfast.

“You know you’re allowed to do things without me telling you to, right?” he says.

He swallows his mouthful of broth. He doesn’t like this kind – it makes him feel queasy. But Cor told him to drink as much as possible, so he does. “I don’t understand,” he says.

“I mean–” Cor says, then stops, tapping his fingers on the the table. “When I’m not around – like yesterday, when I had to work in the evening. You can do what you want. Listen to music, read a book, chill out. Whatever you like, as long as you stay in the apartment and don’t set fire to anything.”

He tries to take this set of instructions apart. He remembers the conversation he listened to the night before, and wonders if it was wrong for him to be sitting in the dark doing nothing. Why would the silent one have told Cor about it if it wasn’t wrong in some way? But Cor doesn’t seem angry. Still, he’s not sure exactly how to follow the instructions. He doesn’t know how to make music play, and he doesn’t have any books. He doesn’t know what chill out means.

“What should I do?” he asks.

“Like I said,” Cor says, “whatever you want.”

He starts to feel a little sick. The broth sits heavily in his stomach. “I want – to follow orders,” he says. “What are the orders?”

Cor stares at him in silence. It’s clear that he’s not pleased with the response. His stomach starts to churn. He’s said the wrong thing, but he’s not sure what it was he said wrong. He’s supposed to follow orders. It’s the entire reason for his existence. How could he have been wrong to say that?

He drops his gaze to the table. A moment later, Cor sighs heavily.

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” he says. “Finish your breakfast and let’s get out of here.”

So that’s what he does.

~

That day, Cor doesn’t take him straight to see Ignis. Instead, he takes him to a small room with benches along the wall. There’s a tall wooden door, carved with images, and Cor knocks on it. A voice calls from inside. It’s the one from the phone. Cor goes inside and closes the door behind him.

“Clarus,” he says. The door is surprisingly thick, so he has to sharpen his hearing significantly to hear the conversation.

“Marshal,” the one from the phone says. “How’s the boy?”

“Yeah, fine,” Cor says. “Listen – we need to start thinking about what we’re going to do with him.”

There’s a pause, and the sound of someone moving paper around. “In what sense?” the one from the phone asks.

“I mean – he’s in limbo right now,” Cor says. “He’s not free, but he’s not exactly a prisoner, either. Shit, Clarus, the kid doesn’t have the first idea how to be a human being. Are we going to – I don’t know, put him in school or something?”

“We don’t know for sure that he is a human being,” the one from the phone says.

“Don’t start with that,” Cor says. “You’ve seen the reports. Sure, he’s been modified, but most of him’s still human.”

“And yet he bleeds daemon blood and his vision is well outside the range of human capabilities,” the one from the phone says. “And besides, even if he weren’t potentially a serious threat, we can hardly let him loose into the general public looking the way he does. Anyone who caught a glimpse of his eyes or his ports could either start a mass panic or lynch him. Or both.”

Cor makes a sort of growling noise. “Fuck, I could murder those Niffs,” he says. “Who the fuck does this to their own kids?”

“I know,” the one from the phone says. “I understand you’re frustrated, Cor. But you must be patient. We need to learn everything we can about him before we can make a proper plan of action. The engineers have asked to see him again tomorrow.”

“They’ll have to wait,” Cor says. “I’m busy all day tomorrow.”

“I’ll have them call you to make an appointment,” the one from the phone says. He pauses a moment. “The faster they can understand him, the faster we’ll be able to – rehabilitate him.”

“Yeah, sure,” Cor says. “Everyone’s got his best interests at heart.”

The one from the phone sighs. “I feel for the boy,” he says. “But the safety of the king and the kingdom is my first priority. As it should be yours.”

“It is,” Cor says. “You know that. Just – you don’t have to see him every day. Talk to him. See what they’ve done. Six, the kid thinks I’m his commanding officer.”

“And what do you think you are?” the one from the phone asks.

Cor doesn’t answer.

~

Cor takes him to see Ignis. He feels his stomach start to churn again as they approach the door, but when they step through, he sees the level two isn’t there. It’s just Ignis, chopping a type of food which he thinks belongs to the class of vegetable, although he’s still only perhaps seventy percent accurate with the categorisation of foods. When he sees that, his stomach starts to calm again. Perhaps the level two won’t come here again. He hopes not.

Cor stays for a short while and eats a food that Ignis gives him, which looks like a long, pale-brown tube and is otherwise unidentifiable. Cor enjoys it, though, and tells Ignis so. Then he leaves.

He sits on the couch. Ignis continues to cook. There’s music playing – the normal kind, not the kind that the level two played yesterday. He lets himself sink into the seat. Yesterday was unusual, then. Maybe it won’t happen again.

He closes his eyes. After a while, the noise of Ignis cooking stops. Then he hears footsteps coming towards him. He opens his eyes again. Ignis is standing in front of him, frowning thoughtfully.

“I apologise,” Ignis says. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” he says.

“I see,” Ignis says. He sits down on one of the soft chairs. “What were you doing?”

“Nothing,” he says. “Do you want me to do something?” He’s beginning to think that doing nothing is not considered to be appropriate in this regimen, but he doesn’t have enough information to be sure.

“Not if you’re happy as you are,” Ignis says. “I just wonder if you aren’t rather bored.”

That word again. “No,” he says, sure now that it’s a negative thing. “I’m not bored.”

“Indeed,” Ignis says. “How interesting.” He looks at him like he’s fascinated. He wishes he would look away.

“I don’t understand,” he says. “Why is it interesting?”

“Well, most young men your age get bored extremely easily,” Ignis says. “And yet you, it seems, never get bored at all.”

His stomach curdles. Bored isn’t negative, then. Bored is something he’s supposed to be. That’s why everyone keeps asking him about it. They’re expecting it from him, but he’s not doing it. He can’t do it, because he doesn’t even know what it is.

“I do think that this can’t be very good for your rehabilitation,” Ignis says. “Sitting all day doing nothing, with no mental stimulation. Would you like a book to read?”

“Yes,” he says immediately. He’s not sure what the connection is, but if Ignis suggested it in the context of their conversation, then maybe reading a book has something to do with being bored. Maybe if he reads the book, he’ll be bored. Then Ignis will be pleased with him.

Ignis looks pleased already. “What kind of books do you like?” he asks.

He swallows. He doesn’t know any kinds of books except instruction manuals, but from the way Ignis says it, there must be other kinds, too. But – an instruction manual. He wants an instruction manual that will explain how he’s supposed to behave. He wants it so much.

“A manual?” he says.

The pleased look fades from Ignis’ face, replaced by confusion. “I’m sorry?” he says.

That was wrong, then. He scrambles to try and rectify his mistake. “I d– I don’t remember,” he says. That’s what Cor told him to say. He should have remembered that, instead of trying to answer questions by himself. He’s so stupid.

“Oh, of course,” Ignis says. He nods, but there’s still the hint of confusion in his face. “Well, I’ll find you something and we’ll see if we can’t rediscover what you like.”

He stands up and disappears into another room. A minute or two later, he comes back. He’s holding a book – much smaller than the ones he’s used to. He holds it out.

“Try this,” he says. “I remember enjoying it when I was your age.”

He takes the book. It has a colourful cover, with an image of what he assumes is a vehicle moving over a wide area of water. On it are printed the words SPIRIT OF THE HYDRAEAN.

“Thank you,” he says.

“You’re welcome,” says Ignis. “Now, let me make you some soup.”

Ignis turns away, towards the kitchen part of the room. He looks at the book in his hand. There’s something else on the cover, too, in smaller letters. PHASMA MARUM. He doesn’t understand the words. He opens the book to the first page.

The first page of the book is concerned with instructions for the reproduction, copying and sale of the book. He reads them carefully, although he doesn’t intend to reproduce, copy or sell the book. Still, it’s important to be aware of the content of posted instructions, even if they don’t seem relevant at the time. After that is a page which repeats the same words as on the cover. Then a third page which is headed Chapter One. The rest of the page is covered in small, close-spaced type. There are no bullet points or figures. He frowns, but starts to read anyway.

After the first page, he realises he can’t understand the book at all. He reads the page again, trying to categorise the problems. The first is that there are many words he doesn’t know. Even on one page, he counts thirty-five. The book has three hundred and fifty pages in it, and so even if some of the words are repeated often (he flicks through and finds that they are), that still suggests a very large number of words that he won’t understand. Then, there are also phrases in which he understands all the words but still doesn’t understand the meaning of the phrase they form. There are seven of these on the page. And finally, he doesn’t understand the purpose behind the text. It’s hard to make out exactly, given all the words and phrases he doesn’t understand. Nonetheless, it doesn’t seem to be addressed to the reader in any way. Instead, it describes a person doing various things, including speaking to another person and thinking. There’s no clue in the page he reads as to why the person is being described and what instructive purpose the description might serve. He turns to the next page, but find more of the same. He reads it carefully for clues, and then, thinking that perhaps he’s misunderstood, turns to the back and reads the last page. It doesn’t help. The last page is the same as the first: a description of the same person, this time thinking about someone she knows that has died.

He closes the book, frowning at the cover. Then he opens it again and starts from the beginning. The first page is easy: the instructions about reproducing, copying and selling. He reads this page twice, relieved by its simplicity. Then he takes a deep breath, and tackles the next part again.

After five pages, he has to pause. He feels bewildered, both by the barrage of words he doesn’t understand, and by the whole experience of reading the book. He’s starting to feel dizzy, and he puts down the red bottle he’s been sipping from. He wants to rub his eyes, but he can’t take off the sunglasses. He closes them instead, as tight as he can. Then he opens them again. Ignis told him to read the book. So he’ll read it.

He reads seventy-five pages before Ignis stops cooking and comes towards him with a cup in his hand. Ignis looks surprised.

“You’re getting through that very fast,” he says. “Are you enjoying it?”

His head is spinning. He feels overwhelmed by all the words he’s read, and by the sense of a complete lack of understanding, both of the parts and of the whole. He swallows, and Ignis frowns.

“Oh – don’t get upset,” he says. He puts the cup down on a small table that stands by the couch. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” he says. There’s a strange waver in his voice.

“I see.” Ignis sits down next to him again. He stares at him for a long time, and then he reaches out for the book.

“May I look at it?” he asks.

He gives him the book. He feels glad to have it out of his hands, though he’s sure Ignis will return it soon and he’ll have to read the rest. Ignis opens it to the page he’d been reading and scans down the page with his eyes. He frowns a little – but it’s not angry, it’s a thoughtful frown. Then he looks up.

“This was difficult for you, wasn’t it?” he says. “Reading this, I mean.”

He doesn’t want to say yes, because he doesn’t want Ignis to think he’s incapable of carrying out orders. But he doesn’t want to say no because Ignis might find out he’s lying.

“I can do it,” he says instead.

Ignis nods. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sure it will take a little time for your cognitive faculties to fully recover.”

Yes, he thinks. His cognitive faculties are damaged. Ignis knows he’s defective. But then he remembers that Ignis thinks he’s human, and he’s not sure any more what Ignis means.

“Give me a moment,” Ignis says. He rises to his feet and disappears back through the same door he went through to fetch the book. When he comes back, he’s not holding it any more. Instead, he has a much larger book – more the size of the books he’s used to – and he walks over and holds it out.

“Perhaps you’ll like this one more,” he says. “But you must certainly tell me if you don’t. There’s no reason for you to read something you’re not enjoying.”

The cover of this book is much shinier than the other. It’s all black, and there are silver words on it. Lucis by Night, it says, and then underneath, Laus Venustas. He opens the book. The first page, again, contains instructions regarding the reproduction, copying or sale of the book. These are very similar to those in the first book. Then, a page with the same words as the cover. But when he turns the page again, he’s startled. Instead of a page full of words, he finds an image. It fills the whole of the page. It’s an image of an object he doesn’t recognise, like a pole but with a branching shape and some kind of fabric pieces forming a semi-structured crown. The object is partially lit, but around it is darkness. Above it, the image is a strange wash of blue and green and black, and covered with thousands of tiny white points, like lights.

He stares at the image. He understands almost nothing about what it shows. But it’s beautiful. It’s arresting, striking. Startling, even. It makes something in his chest ache, but the ache is somehow – pleasant. He’s never felt that way before.

Ignis is hovering at his shoulder. “Ah yes,” he says. “A very fine photograph.”

He looks up at Ignis, then down at the image. The branching pole. Is that what Ignis meant by the word photograph?

“What is it?” he asks, forgetting that he’s not supposed to ask questions. A moment later, he remembers, and wishes he could call the words back. But Ignis doesn’t seem angry.

“A cenibrus tree,” he says. “See?”

He points to a corner of the image, and he sees there are words on the page after all. There are only a few, barely noticeable in one corner of the large page.

Cenibrus tree, near Hammerhead, they read.

The only word he understands is near. But there are so few words. The image is surely what’s important. He doesn’t understand the image, either, but he stares at it all the same. He wants to stare at it for as long as he can.

“Astonishing, what can be done with cameras these days,” Ignis says. Then he picks up the soup and holds it out. “Why don’t you see what’s next?”

He takes the cup. He turns the page – reluctantly – but on the next page he finds another image. This one is more familiar: a street with buildings and a few people walking. It looks like the view out of the window of the room where he sleeps at night. But somehow, it’s so much more beautiful. It’s somewhat familiar and yet entirely strange. He looks at the corner. The words read: Insomnia, asleep.

He stares at the image for a long time. But if both the first two pages have images, maybe there are more. He wants to see them all – suddenly, he has a desperate desire to see them all. He doesn’t know how long Ignis will let him read the book for. So he turns the page, even though he wants to keep looking, and wants to go back to the first image and keep looking at that as well.

Ignis rises to his feet. “Much better,” he says, and walks away.

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure if it’s the right thing to say, but he isn’t really thinking about the right thing to say. He’s just thinking about the image. The lower half of the image is black, but filled with yellow and white points of light. The upper part is the deep blue of the sky before it turns black. The words say Galdin Quay from above. He doesn’t really understand the words. He doesn’t understand the image, either. But he doesn’t mind.

He doesn’t mind.

~

Later – hours later – he falls asleep over the book. He doesn’t mean to – he wants to keep looking at the images – but he can’t help himself.

As he's slipping into sleep, he has a vision of a strange, branching object under a sky studded with a million points of light, and with the vision comes a remarkable sense of peace.

Chapter Text

He wakes up when he hears Ignis talking.

It takes him a moment to realise where he is. He’s not on the couch any more – he’s standing up, by the kitchen table. Ignis is looking at him like he just asked him a question. But he doesn’t remember what the question was. He doesn’t remember standing up and walking over to the table, either. But here he is.

Ignis frowns at him. He swallows.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t hear you.”

“I asked if you needed something,” Ignis says. He looks like he’s trying to understand a difficult problem. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He feels disconnected from himself. He wishes he wasn’t standing up. He thinks he’d feel safer if he was sitting down.

When did he stand up?

“You look quite pale,” Ignis says. “Perhaps you should sit down.”

“Yes,” he says again, feeling a wash of gratitude. He sits down on the nearest chair – one of the hard-backed kitchen chairs – and feels the floor undulating beneath him. He closes his eyes, holding onto the chair. There’s a soft thunk, and he opens his eyes to see a steaming cup in front of him.

“Camomile tea,” Ignis says.

He doesn’t know what camomile tea is, but he picks it up and sips it. His hands are shaking, but he wraps them around the cup and concentrates on not spilling anything. The liquid tastes slightly bitter, but otherwise almost of nothing. The warmth of it in his stomach makes him feel a little steadier, and he sips some more.

He’s still sitting there when Cor arrives perhaps ten minutes later.

“Hey Ignis,” Cor says. “Hi, kid.”

“Hi,” he says. He’s sure that’s right, now. Cor is holding a piece of equipment in his hand. It looks like a small phone. He holds it out to Ignis.

“I got this,” he says. “Can you put the music he likes on it?”

“Of course,” Ignis says. He takes the equipment and turns away. He goes over to his table and sits down, opening his computer.

Cor turns to look at him. “Did you eat enough today?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He ate a lot. He stayed awake a lot longer than he does most days, and that gave him time to eat. He’s not sure why he sleeps so much lately, but he’s grateful that no-one seems to be angry about it.

“You can take the book with you, if you want,” Ignis says from behind his computer.

“What book?” Cor asks, glancing at Ignis, then looking back at him.

He’s not sure if Ignis means the first book, SPIRIT OF THE HYDRAEAN PHASMA MARUM, or the second book, Lucis by Night Laus Venustas. He looks at Ignis, and Ignis looks up and gestures at the couch.

“The photography,” he says. “You seemed rather taken with it.”

Cor frowns, then goes over to the couch. He picks up the book, flicks through a few pages, then looks at him.

“You like this?” he says.

Cor’s still frowning, and he’s not sure what the best answer is. He wants to say yes, because he likes the book more than almost anything he can think of. But Cor’s frowning, so maybe he’s not supposed to like it.

Cor looks at Ignis. “I can borrow this?” he says.

“Be my guest,” Ignis says. He stands up, holding out the device that Cor gave him. “That’s everything we’ve listened to so far.”

Cor nods, taking the device. “Thanks,” he says. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Ignis replies.

~

When they get into the car, Cor holds out the device to him, along with a wire that splits in two partway down. At each of the two ends of the split wire is a small round rubber object.

“So you’ve got something to do at home,” he says.

He takes the device and the wire. “Thank you,” he says, even though he’s not sure what it is. Is it a phone? He doesn’t have anyone to call. What’s the purpose of the wire? He rolls it between his fingers, trying to discover the purpose without making it obvious that he doesn’t know.

Cor starts the car and pulls out. After a minute or two of driving, he glances at him.

“You can put it on the stereo, if you want,” he says. “Here.”

Cor picks up the end of a wire that’s trailing out of part of the front wall of the car. He holds it out, steering with one hand.

He takes the wire. It has a jack at one end. So there must be a socket somewhere he’s supposed to plug it into. He thinks for a moment, then examines the device Cor gave to him. After a few seconds, he finds a socket that fits. He plugs in the jack. Good.

There’s a short silence. Then Cor reaches over and turns a knob just beside where the wire is trailing out of the front wall of the car. He turns it some more. Then he frowns.

“Is it playing?” he says. “I don’t hear anything.”

“He hasn’t turned it on,” says the silent one in the back seat. It’s not the same silent one who taught him card games; this silent one has never said anything in his presence before.

Cor glances at him. “Press the button on the front,” he says.

He finds the button and presses it. The front of the device lights up: a screen. There’s a list of words, arranged a few words to a line – sometimes only one, sometimes as many as six or seven. Some of the words he recognises, but most of them he doesn’t. One of them, though, he remembers. Spring. Just the one word. He doesn’t know what it means, but he remembers it from when Ignis first played music to him.

“Tap the one you want to play,” Cor says.

So he taps Spring. A second later, the music starts playing in the car, so loud it almost hurts his ears. Cor says something that sounds angry but is inaudible over the sound of the music, and his hand darts out, turning the knob back in the other direction. The volume reduces, but his heart-beat takes longer to slow down.

When it does, though, he realises the device in his hand is playing the music. The same music he heard when Ignis played it to him the first time. Spring. The device is connected to the car, but the name of the music is on the screen of the device.

“I’ve heard this before,” Cor says. “Who’s it by?”

He’s not sure he understands the question. “The device,” he says, hoping he’s right.

Cor frowns and glances at him. “Excuse me?” he says.

He holds up the device. “It’s playing the music,” he says. “Isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Cor says, slowly, drawing the word out. “But I asked about the composer.”

Oh. He hadn’t realised. “The composer is Argentum,” he says. He remembers Ignis telling him. He doesn’t know what composer means, but he thinks Argentum is a name, like Cor or Ignis.

“Huh,” Cor says. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

“Yes,” he says.

There’s silence for a moment or two. Then Cor glances at him.

“It’s called a music player,” he says. “Because it plays music.”

“Oh,” he says. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, no sweat,” Cor says. He’s quiet for another few seconds. “You’ve never seen one before?”

“No,” he says. He wonders if he should say it looks like a phone. He’s seen phones before.

“What about the headphones?” Cor says. “You seen headphones before?”

He thinks as quickly as he can. Cor gave him two things: the device – the music player – and the wire. He’s told him about the music player, and now he’s asked about something else. So it must be the wire.

“This?” he says, and holds up the wire.

“Yeah,” Cor says, and he feels a spark of relief. He was right. Good.

“It’s headphones,” he says. It doesn’t help him decipher what the purpose of the wire is. He sees, though, that the wire has a jack on the non-split end, the same as the one from the wire that attaches the music player to the car. So maybe the headphones are supposed to plug into the music player.

“Yeah, kid,” Cor says, laughing a little. “You put them in your ears. So you can hear the music.”

He looks at the wire. He thinks he understands: the jack goes into the socket on the phone, and the two rubber objects connect to his ears, to wire him directly to the player. But he doesn’t have any ports in his ears that will fit them. He’s never heard of anyone having ports in their ears.

“Try it,” Cor says.

He tightens his fingers on the music player. Cor wants him to, so he has to do it. But he knows that trying to connect cables to incorrect ports may result in serious system problems. And he knows that serious system problems hurt a great deal.

But Cor wants him to do it.

He takes a deep breath and picks up one of the rubber ends of the cable. He grits his teeth and inserts it into his ear. It sits just inside. There’s no satisfying click that tells him it’s correctly connected. Of course there isn’t. There’s no port in his ear.

He puts the other one in his other ear. Then – looking at Cor to make sure he’s doing the right thing – he disconnects the car wire from the music player. He picks up the jack of the headphones, breathes in through his nose, closes his eyes, and plugs it into the socket.

And then the music is in his head.

He’s so ready for pain that it takes him a moment to realise that the electrifying feeling isn’t pain at all. That the sound of Spring is suddenly inside his head, as if it’s his own mind creating it. When he does realise, he opens his eyes, astounded.

He’s in the car. The world is still there, still the same. But there’s music in his head.

Cor grins at him. He says something, but he can’t hear it over the sound of the music. He reaches up, fumbling for the end of the wire in his ear, and when he pulls it out, suddenly the music isn’t in his head any more. He still hears it, but it’s coming from outside him, the side that is still wired to the music player.

“I didn’t hear,” he says. His voice sounds breathless in his ears.

“It doesn’t matter,” Cor says. “I can tell what the answer is.” His smile flashes again. “Listen to your music, kid. Don’t let me disturb you.”

He nods. He puts the wire back into his ear, and the music is in his head again. He sinks down in his seat and lets it surround him, flowing through him. He thinks: how may days ago was it, that he didn’t even know what music was? Not many. Not many. Everything’s changed so fast.

Everything’s so much better now.

~

He listens to the music all evening. After some experimentation, he learns that he can manipulate the music player to show him more than simply a list. The list is the names of pieces, but he can also see them sorted into groups. He doesn’t fully understand the categorisation system yet, but one category is composer, and if he taps on this category he can find all the pieces that belong to the Argentum group. There are other groups, too, but he likes Argentum best. He wonders if Argentum is a person or a thing.

Later in the evening, the silent one who taught him about cards returns. He stops listening to the music, then, because the silent one wants to teach him Altissian pickup. At first, he doesn’t understand, but the silent one explains the rules to him a second time without him needing to ask. Then the silent one says they should play the game and it will be more obvious.

And it’s true. Once he’s played the game through once, the rules are clear. They’re so clear. They’re not the simplest rules, but there’s a satisfying intricacy to them, as though they all click into place with each other.

“Play again?” the silent one asks.

“Yes,” he says.

The silent one nods. “You deal,” he says.

He carefully lays out seven cards for each of them, just as the silent one did: first card goes to the silent one, the next to him, and then alternating until each of them has seven. Then he lays down the remainder and turns over the top one. Then he picks up his cards and looks at them.

There are fifty-four cards in the pack. He knows where eight of them are: seven in his hand and one on the table. He engages the statistical element of his brain and begins to calculate.

Fifteen minutes later, the silent one sits back.

“Wow,” he says. “You’re a fucking hustler, kid, you know that?”

He looks at the silent one. He doesn’t know what fucking hustler means, but he’s not sure it’s a good thing.

“Did I do it wrong?” he says, nerves thrumming in his stomach. He’s sure he followed all the rules.

“Uh, no,” the silent one says. “You did it right. Like, really right.” He leans over his piece of paper. “Six, it’s going to take me forever to calculate how many points you got.”

“Four hundred and thirty-seven,” he says.

The silent one looks up at him, then at all the cards laid out in front of him. He considers a moment, then sighs. “I’ll take your word for it,” he says. “I guess you know how many I got, too?”

“Sixty-four,” he says.

The silent one groans. “I’m never coming back from this,” he says. “I definitely shouldn’t have let you have a practice round.”

He’s not sure – he’s not sure. What the silent one is saying makes him sound angry. But he isn’t saying it in an angry way. He’s even smiling – in a strange way, rubbing the back of his head.

He’s not sure.

“All right, kid,” the silent one says, still smiling. “Rematch, because I’m a sucker for punishment. And then you’d better get to bed, before papa bear comes in and tears me a new one.”

The silent one picks up the cards and shuffles them. Then he starts to deal them out. He picks up the cards. The silent one said he did the right thing. And he’s smiling. So he should do the same thing again.

So he does.

He wins the second game by more than the first. The silent one asks him the scores, then laughs.

“I know when I’ve bitten off more than I can chew,” he says. “Next time I’m teaching you something that’s pure chance.”

The silent one tells him to go to bed, so he does. He lies on his back, staring at the ceiling. After a while, he hears Cor climbing the stairs. He pauses outside the door.

“Everything all right?” Cor asks, whispering so he has to sharpen his hearing to hear.

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. “Kid’s a genius at cards, by the way.”

A silence. “Noted,” Cor says.

And the footsteps walk away.

~

The next day, the level two comes back.

He’s awake this time. He’s looking at a new book Ignis gave him. This one is images, like Lucis by Night Laus Venustas. These images are of organisms. Some of them are familiar, like bugs and rats. Others, he’s never seen before. He’s fascinated by how many different kinds there are, and all the ways the images show them. But also by the things that are around the organisms. Almost every image is full of green, in different shades and shapes. He’s never seen so much green. He wonders if the person who made the images had a collection of green objects that he or she placed around each organism. He doesn’t recognise any of the objects. But the green looks inviting. It makes him want to reach out and touch the image, to see if he can feel what it’s like. It looks like it would be cool and smooth.

And then the level two comes in, and he stops thinking about the green.

“Hey, Ignis,” the level two says, then turns to look at him, a slight frown appearing on his face. “Oh. You’re still here.”

Ignis clears his throat, and when the level two turns to look at him he raises his eyebrows.

“I mean – hi,” the level two says. “How’s it going?”

“Hi,” he says. He’s not sure how to answer the question, but the level two doesn’t seem to care. He lifts his shoulders a little and then goes to sit on the soft chair across from him. He pulls out his phone. Then he frowns at him.

“Cor give you those shades?” he asks.

Shades are sunglasses. He nods. “Yes,” he says.

The level two shakes his head. “Pretty dorky,” he says. “Thought he was cooler than that.”

He doesn’t know what dorky means. He knows cool, but he’s not sure he understands what the level two means when he says it.

“I have to wear them,” he says. He hopes the explanation will help with whatever objection the level two has to the sunglasses.

“Yeah, I got that,” the level two says. “Guess you’re stuck looking like a dork, then.” He sighs and glances at Ignis, then pauses, raising his eyebrows.

“What?” he says.

Ignis rises to his feet and makes a gesture. The level two mutters something under his breath that he doesn’t sharpen his hearing quickly enough to hear, and then gets up, too. The two of them go into the room where Ignis gets the books and lower their voices.

“You might try to be a little more friendly,” Ignis says.

“What?” the level two says. “I’m being friendly! I’m making conversation.”

“You’re being rude and insensitive,” Ignis says. “That young man is my guest, and he’s had a very difficult time.”

“What am I supposed to talk to him about?” the level two asks. “Sports drinks? Brain damage chic? Best time of year to have a head injury?”

There’s a pause. Then the level two speaks again. “Yeah, sorry,” he says. “That was kind of a dick thing to say.”

“Perhaps it would be better if you didn’t say anything at all,” Ignis says. “I’m sure Cor will come to collect him soon, and your training session is in half an hour anyway.”

“Is it?” The level two says. “Oh, shit. Hey, I’d better go change. See you later, Specs.”

The level two reappears. He gives a half-hearted wave in his direction. “Gotta go,” he says. “See ya.”

And then he’s gone. He feels something in him loosen. He wishes he knew when the level two would be here. Maybe he could ask Cor to send him somewhere else when the level two is here. But no, he can’ t do that. Cor told him to be here, so here is where he should be. And most of the time, he wants to be here. He just hopes –

–he hopes the level two doesn’t come back.

~

But he doesn’t get what he hopes for: the next day, the level two arrives much earlier than the other two times he’s seen him, just after lunch. He’s wearing different clothes: before he had a dark blue jacket and pants the same colour, and a strip of fabric hanging from his neck. Now he’s dressed all in black, and his clothes look less well-kept.

“Seriously, it’s raining again,” he says as he sweeps through the door. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi,” he says.

The level two stands in the middle of the floor for a moment, frowning at him. Then he abruptly turns to Ignis.

“You’re playing this music again?” he says. “It’s Saturday.”

“What does the day of the week have to do with the music I play?” Ignis asks. He’s in the middle of making a cup of the strong-smelling drink he likes.

“I don’t know, like, maybe boring music is only for school-days,” the level two says. “You can do whatever you want on Saturday, right?”

“And what if what I want is to listen to this beautiful music?” Ignis replies. He’s not smiling, but he looks like he might any minute.

The level two sighs heavily. “Sure, knock yourself out,” he says, and goes to sit on the soft chair opposite. Only he doesn’t sit – he throws himself down onto it, sighing once again.

“I’m bored,” he says.

Ignis sips at his drink. “You could do your homework,” he says.

“Ha ha,” the level two says. He sits sprawled on the chair for a few moments, then pulls out his phone and starts staring at it.

After that, it’s quiet for a while. Ignis is writing something at his table. The level two is staring at his phone. He looks at the book of images of organisms. But he can’t concentrate. He sees the images, but he doesn’t feel them the way he did before. His attention is on the level two. The level two is unpredictable. He understands very little that the level two says, and he knows that the level two might ask him more questions, even though Ignis told him not to. He sits on the edge of the couch, feet ready on the floor, even though he knows he can’t run anywhere. But he needs to feel ready. Just in case.

Half an hour passes. Forty-five minutes. His shoulders ache from tension. And then: the level two drops his phone and stretches back over the chair, legs up on one arm, head cushioned on the other, staring at the ceiling.

“Gah, I’m so bored,” he says.

That word again. The level two says it like it’s not a good thing. He’s trying once again to puzzle it out when the level two sits up a little.

“Hey, Ignis, want to play a game?”

Ignis looks up from his writing. “I’m afraid I must finish this report,” he says.

“Seriously?” the level two says. He puts his arm over his eyes. “What’s the point of Saturday if there’s not even anything to do?”

A moment later, though, he takes his arm from his eyes and turns his head, looking speculatively at him.

“Hey,” he says. “You want to play a game?”

Ignis frowns and looks up, but doesn’t say anything. He considers; he needs more clarification.

“A card game?” he asks. It’s the only use of game he knows, but perhaps there are more.

The level two shrugs. “Sure, why not?” he says. “Specs, you got any cards?”

“In the drawer,” Ignis says, pointing. He looks at him. “Do you know how to play cards?”

He nods. “I know Altissian pickup,” he says.

The level two grins. “Good game,” he says. “I’m pretty good at that, though. Just so you know.”

Ignis clears his throat. The level two looks at him, and Ignis raises his eyebrows. “Go easy,” Ignis murmurs. “Remember his brain damage.”

The level two waves his hand dismissively. He finds the cards and comes to sit at right-angles to him on a different chair.

“I shuffle, you deal,” he says.

He nods. He waits until the level two holds the cards out, then deals them carefully, the same way he did when the silent one taught him. The first card on the table is the three of spades. He looks at the cards in his hand and engages the statistical element in his brain.

The level two takes a card from the top of the stack. He considers it for a moment, then lays it down overlapping the three of spades. It’s the five of hearts. This was in the pack, not in the level two’s hand. He constructs a set of probabilities. There are some uncertainties: he doesn’t know the level two’s level of skill or strategic mindset. Still, there are two main options:

A. The level two has nothing in his hand which can pair well with the five of hearts.

B. The level two has something to pair with the five of hearts and is playing strategically, waiting until there are more cards to pick up.

He estimates probabilities for each of these two options, and then probabilities for the values of the cards in the level two’s hand based on each option and the nine cards that he already knows the location of. At present, this early in the game, there are a large number of options.

He takes a card from the pile, and the options grow narrower.

They play for another five minutes, and then the level two picks up the five of hearts and all the cards that are on top of it. These include another five, which he has been watching carefully. The level two lays down the two fives in front of him, along with two others that must have been in his hands already. Now the level two has fifteen cards in his hand. Ten of them are those he picked up, so he knows all of them. The other five are unknown, but given what he’s seen so far, he’s narrowed them down to a small range of options. He has also learned that the level two is a strategic player.

The level two grins. “Sorry,” he says. “Told you I was good.”

“Yes,” he says. He calculates how many points the level two would have if the game were to end now. The range is negative one hundred and thirty-four to negative four hundred and two. But the level two doesn’t think the game will end soon, or he wouldn’t have picked up so many cards.

Strategy: end the game soon.

Three minutes later, the level two stares in horror as he lays down all his cards in front of him. He has three eights and a four-card straight. He has no cards left in his hand. The level two still has twelve.

“What?” the level two says. “No way did you beat me.”

Ignis looks up at that. “Oh, did you beat him?” he says. “Well done.”

“Stay out of this, Specs,” the level two says. “Six, I’ve got fucking three aces in my hand. Three aces! You can’t beat three aces with three eights!”

He swallows. “You didn’t put them on the table,” he says. He hears a crack in his voice. His mouth is dry. “I thought – aren’t those the rules? You have to put them on the table, otherwise they count against you?” He didn’t want to make the level two angry. He didn’t want the level two to pay any attention to him at all.

“Huh?” the level two says, looking up at him. Then he frowns. “Yeah,” he says. “Those are the rules. Yeah. You won. By, like, a million points.” He narrows his eyes. “Fine, we’re not counting that round,” he says. “I was going easy. I thought you wouldn’t be any good.”

“Noct,” Ignis says, sounding annoyed. The level two sighs.

“I mean, really,” he says. “You don’t look like a card sharp, is all I’m saying. Not in those shades.” He gathers up the cards from the table, then recombines them into a pack.

“Rematch,” he says. “This time for real.”

~

He wins the rematch as well. Not by as many points – the level two is more careful this time, pays more attention to what he’s doing. But he still wins by more than a hundred, and although he’s following the rules as he’s been told, the realisation that he’s going to win again sets up a pit of dread in his stomach. If the level two was angry last time he won, how will he be now?

But the level two just slumps in his chair, groans and shakes his head.

“I’m good at this game,” he says. “I’m really good. Right, Specs? You haven’t been losing on purpose all this time, right?”

“Very rarely,” Ignis says with a small smile. “You are quite good at Altissian pickup. But it seems our guest is better.”

“Yeah, it really does,” the level two says. “Man, hey, we could have a game of chase the dragon.” He turns to look at him. “You and me against Ignis and Gladio. You’d be my secret weapon. You know chase the dragon?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. The level two doesn’t seem angry. He seems – neutral. And his stomach starts to churn a little less.

“Can’t play with only two,” the level two says. “I’ll teach you some other time.” He stretches his arms out behind him and yawns. “Man, I’m fried. Not enough brain for strategy games. That’s probably why I lost.”

“I’m sure,” Ignis puts in.

The level two rolls his eyes. “Want to play a phone game?” he asks.

He hasn’t played a phone game before. He’s not sure how it might be different to a card game. “I don’t have a phone,” he says.

“Seriously?” The level two looks amazed. “How come? Never mind – Specs, I need your phone.”

“Does it occur to you that I might need my phone, as well?” Ignis asks. But he holds out his phone to the level two, who takes it and passes it to him.

“OK, here,” he says. “It’s called Shoot the Messenger.”

He stares at the phone. He’s not sure what he’s expected to do, but there’s a button like the one on the music player, and he presses it in the hope it will turn the screen on. It does. Now there are rows and columns of brightly coloured symbols, each with a label in small text. One of them reads Shoot the Messenger, and he taps his finger on it.

“Yeah, that one,” the level two says. He’s sitting up against the arm of the chair, now, leaning over to point at the phone. He still feels tense, but something’s changed. He’s ready, but he’s not afraid any more. The level two was angry about the game, but – nothing happened. And maybe he wasn’t even angry. And he didn’t change the music today. The level two asked him to play the phone game, and even though he’s not sure what the phone game is, there’s an odd sort of feeling in his chest, like a little pool of warmth, just because the level two asked him. It feels a little like he felt when Cor smiled at him and told him he was doing well, but much more subdued. It’s a nice feeling, and he focuses on it, hoping it will grow.

“So, OK, I’ll show you how it works,” the level two says, leaning even further over the phone Ignis gave to him.

And he nods. “Thank you,” he says.

Chapter Text

He turns out not to be very good at phone games.

The level two teaches him two: Shoot the Messenger and Barrel Roll. The rules are simple for each, but to play the games requires fast reflexes and dexterity. He has neither of these qualities. In fact, he discovers that he’s quite sluggish, especially compared to the level two, whose thumbs dance over the phone screen at remarkable speed. And so, the score on his screen quickly falls below the score on the level two’s screen. He tries hard to catch up, but he can’t close the gap. He worries about whether the level two will be angry with him; but then the level two’s score climbs above ten thousand and the level two clenches his fist and makes a movement as if he’s pulling on some invisible string.

“Yes!” he says. “I’m way ahead of you.”

It’s true: the level two is way ahead. And the level two seems to be happy about it. So he lets himself relax a little. It doesn’t matter if his score is low – the level two will be pleased anyway. He focuses on the screen of the phone, doing his best to make his thumbs dance the the level two does. He doesn’t succeed, but he feels some satisfaction each time he destroys one of the simulated opponents. It’s not so different from the full-immersion simulations from the training facility, except that here everything is much faster and it doesn’t seem to matter if he does poorly.

At last, the level two’s phone makes a chiming sound, and he leans back in his chair.

“That’s it,” he says. “I totally beat you.”

His own phone freezes at the same time, and a message appears: Game Over.

“Yes,” he says. “You beat me.”

“Very impressive,” Ignis comments. Even though it’s a compliment, there’s something odd about his tone, and the level two glances at him and rolls his eyes.

“Hey, I’ll teach you some tricks,” he says. “Here, look – if you do this with your thumb,” he slides his thumb quickly backwards and forwards over the screen, “sometimes you catch the bad guys as soon as they appear, before they have the chance to do that flickering thing.”

He tries to imitate the movement. The bad guys are the simulated opponents – at least, he thinks that’s what the level two means.

“No, like this,” the level two says. He demonstrates again.

He tries again to imitate, but his thumb doesn’t seem to be as manoeuvrable as the level two’s thumb. His attempt is passable, but certainly not excellent.

The level two stares at his thumb and frowns a little. “Hey – that whole brain damage thing,” he says. “What’s that like, anyway?”

“Your Highness,” says Ignis, his tone suddenly sharp. He doesn’t say anything else, but the level two sits up straighter, looking suddenly tense. He rolls his eyes again, but it’s half-hearted, like he’s pretending something he doesn’t feel.

“Calm down, Specs,” he says. Then he turns to him. “I’m sorry,” he says. “That was kind of – uh.”

He doesn’t understand why Ignis is suddenly angry, nor why the level two is suddenly worried.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I can’t remember lots of things. And the light hurts my eyes.” He can’t think of anything else Cor’s told him to say about having brain damage. He assumes brain damage is like being defective, but for humans. But he’s not sure if being defective for humans feels the same as being defective for MT units, so he doesn’t want to risk describing his actual defects. Besides, he doesn’t want anyone to know his actual defects. So far, Cor doesn’t seem to have noticed them, and he hopes, with a stupid, pointless hope, that maybe he never will and there’ll be no modification.

Impossible. But still – he hopes.

The level two’s phone chimes again. He glances at it, then gets to his feet.

“Shit,” he mutters. “I’m late for training.”

Ignis raises an eyebrow. “I’m sure Gladio will understand if you tell him you were playing phone games,” he says.

“Yeah, thanks,” the level two says. He sighs, then turns and looks at him. “I gotta go. Are you gonna come here again?”

He nods. “I come every day,” he says. “Cor brings me.”

“Yeah,” the level two says. “OK, well – see you, then.”

He leaves. After he’s gone, the room seems suddenly much quieter. Ignis stands up and comes over to him. He holds out his hand for the phone.

“Perhaps you could ask Cor for one of your own,” he says as he takes it.

He opens his mouth to explain that MT units don’t have possessions, and then closes it again when he realises what he’s about to say. A slight frown crosses Ignis’ face.

“I’m sorry about Prince Noctis,” he says. “He can be quite rude sometimes, but he certainly didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He’s not sure what rude means, though he remembers that Ignis told the level two not to be rude yesterday. The level two is many things, but he doesn’t know which one of them is rude.

“Yes,” he says, hoping it will be an appropriate response.

Ignis nods and turns away. He sips from the red bottle Cor gave him in the morning and thinks about the level two. The level two is – difficult. He makes him feel tense and wary. But the level two didn’t mind when he won the card game, and the level two didn’t mind when he lost the phone game. He doesn’t understand the level two at all. And the level two might come back – he came yesterday, and again today. But somehow, that thought doesn’t make his stomach churn the way it did before. He even thinks it might be good – to play the phone game again, to maybe get better at it. He could learn the manoeuvre the level two showed him, and maybe the level two would be pleased to see him get it right.

Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

~

The level two does come back. He comes back the next day, sweeping in in the afternoon. He’s wearing his blue clothes again, and he looks around at the couch as soon as he comes through the door.

“Hi,” the level two says. “Do you ever go anywhere else?”

He nods. “I go to Cor’s house at night,” he says.

The level two laughs, a shallow, breathy laugh. “Yeah, you need to get out more,” he says. “Hey, Ignis.”

Ignis greets the level two, and the level two drops himself onto the soft chair opposite, just like he did the day before, draping himself over it. He pulls out his phone and stares at it for a few minutes. Every now and then, the level two glances at him under his eyelashes. Then, abruptly, he sits up.

“Hey, Prompto,” he says, “how about a rematch on Shoot the Messenger?

He sits up a little. “Yes,” he says. “I don’t have a phone.”

“Yeah, I know,” the level two says. “Ignis, I need–”

He doesn’t finish his sentence: Ignis is already standing, heaving a sigh. He holds his phone out. “What did you call him?” he asks.

The level two shrugs. “If he’s not going to tell us his name,” he says, and then points. “He’s always got one of those things surgically attached to his hand.”

He looks down at the red bottle in his hand. It says PROMPTO! on the side in embossed lettering.

Ignis frowns. “You can’t call him after a sports drink,” he says.

“Better than hey, you, right?” the level two says.

Ignis looks angry. He looks at him. “Please, feel free to object,” he says.

He’s not sure what he’s supposed to object to. He looks at the level two.

“You want to play, or what?” the level two asks.

“Yes,” he says.

So they play.

~

That night, he lies in bed and thinks. Cor wanted him to call him Cor, and to call Ignis Ignis. Cor thought it was good for him to use those names rather than sir. Before he was supposed to call all humans sir, but now he’s not sure any more. Is it just Cor and Ignis, or should he call all humans by names? The level two wanted to call him by a name – and the level two thinks he’s human. And Cor said he should have a name, even though he’s not human. So names are important – to Cor, at least, and maybe to the level two.

The level two has a lot of names. Ignis calls him different things at different times. But most of the things he calls him have the same word in: Noctis. The other words aren’t always the same, but Noctis comes up again and again. So that’s what the level two is called: Noctis.

He doesn’t know the names of any of the other humans he sees often: the two silent ones, the doctor, the one from the phone. But he can at least think of the level two properly, as he thinks Cor would want. Noctis.

He thinks about the fact that Noctis gave him a name. He knows it’s because Noctis thinks he’s human, and he thinks he should feel bad about that. He’s deceiving Noctis – even though Noctis should be able to tell easily that he’s not human – and Noctis is so deceived that he’s even given him a name, because humans seem to need names. He should feel bad. But he remembers Noctis leaving earlier in the day. See you, Prompto, he said when he left. And he doesn’t feel bad. He feels a tiny spark of warmth in his chest. See you Prompto. Maybe it’s not really him that Noctis is talking to – Noctis is talking to the human he thinks he is – but if he just lets himself pretend a little bit – if he just lets himself pretend –

He lies awake, staring at the ceiling, and lets himself pretend.

~

The next day, he waits for a long time for Noctis to come. But he doesn’t come. He looks at the books that Ignis puts on the table in front of him, and he drinks his red drink. He listens to the music. But after lunch, he can’t concentrate very well any more. He thinks Noctis will come, and he sharpens his hearing, listening for footsteps outside.

But he doesn’t come.

That evening, Cor frowns at him.

“You all right, kid?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor sits and watches him for a moment. Then he taps his fingers on the table.

“Hey – I know this is frustrating,” he says. “You must be pretty bored. I know it’s not fair on you, all of this.” He makes a gesture, like he expects him to know what he means. “I’m trying to move it forward, so you can have some more freedom. It’s not an easy situation.”

He’s not sure what Cor’s talking about. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

Cor sighs. “Don’t thank me yet, kid,” he mutters.

~

He looks out of the window that night. In the distance, he sees the two towers with the jet of purple light between them. He wonders if Ignis is there now. He wonders if Ignis lives in the room he always goes to, or if he lives somewhere else and just goes there during the day. He wonders where Noctis lives and why Noctis comes to see Ignis.

All the humans he’s seen must live somewhere, he realises. They must all have houses, like Cor, with kitchens and bedrooms. It’s a strange thought. He thinks about all the humans he’s seen on the street – there are so many of them. He thinks about Cor, and the silent one who taught him Altissian pickup, and Noctis, and Ignis. All of them are different – they behave in different ways, they use different words, they respond differently to the same situation. Sometimes they disagree with each other. Often he doesn’t understand what they’re saying, but it’s clear at least that they don’t all say the same thing. In the training facility, there were few humans, and they all agreed with each other. Humans had to be obeyed without question. But here, there are lots of humans, and if they don’t all agree, then they can’t all be obeyed at once.

He thinks about what the chain of command must be. Cor is at the top – that’s straightforward. He thinks Ignis must be next, then Noctis. He’s not sure about the silent one. He needs to observe the silent one interacting with Ignis and Noctis to know where he falls in the hierarchy.

It niggles at him, the missing place for the silent one in the chain. But he can’t solve the problem now, so he focuses instead on watching the purple light. It’s beautiful, but it also makes him feel pain in his chest – like when he saw the sun, but not as strong. It feels like he sometimes feels when he’s looking at the images in the books Ignis has, or listening to the music. He wonders how all of it comes to be – what is the source of the light? How does the music happen? Where do the images come from? He feels a sudden, swelling bubble of questions in his stomach, in his chest, so many questions that for a few seconds he can’t breathe. He grips the edge of the window, then turns away, closing his eyes.

No. His purpose is to obey orders. Nothing else is important.

There’s a part of him that protests. A part of him thinks other things might be important – music, and images, and the names humans give to each other – but the part of him that isn’t defective shoves all of that aside.

Obey orders. Obey orders. That’s all. That’s all there is.

Maybe if he can remember that, Cor won’t find out he’s defective. He doesn’t want to be modified. If he’s modified, maybe he’ll forget about music, and images. He thinks that maybe the ache in his chest is a defect – why would he feel pain looking at something beautiful? – but he doesn’t want the defect to go away.

The thought shocks him. To want to be defective – surely that must be the worst defect of all. Surely something is terribly wrong in his brain. He should tell Cor – should tell him everything, so that he can be modified and function correctly in future.

But he doesn’t tell Cor. He doesn’t even plan to tell Cor.

Maybe Cor will never find out.

~

The next day, Noctis comes back. He says Hi, Prompto. But he doesn’t ask if he wants to play a game. Instead, he sits down with a sigh at right-angles to him and takes a book out of his bag. Then he takes out paper, and pens. Then he opens the book and starts staring at it like he’s angry with it.

He sits back in his chair. He feels an odd sort of upleasant feeling in his stomach, but he can’t identify it. He wonders if maybe Noctis will ask him to play a game when he’s finished staring at the book.

But Noctis doesn’t finish. He writes some things on the paper, scribbles them out, and sighs again. He flips the pages of the book backwards and forwards. He runs his hand through his hair. He sighs again.

“I’m sure it can’t be that bad,” Ignis says. He looks normal, but he sounds like he might be about to laugh.

“Seriously,” Noctis says. “Math is the worst. How am I expected to know this stuff?”

“You’re expected to pay attention in class,” Ignis says.

“Come on, Ignis, give me a break, here,” Noctis says. He looks up at him. “Hey, Prompto, you any good at math?”

He shakes his head. The mathematical element of his brain has never functioned as well as it’s supposed to.

“Yeah, you know my pain,” Noctis says. He points at the book. “I mean, look at this shit.”

He looks at the book. There’s an equation there. It’s quadratic. Solve for x, says the text beside it. He engages the mathematical element of his brain.

“X is thirty-two point eight,” he says.

Noctis rolls his eyes. “Ha ha,” he says.

“You’d get it done faster if you stopped talking to Prompto and actually concentrated,” Ignis puts in.

“Slave driver,” Noctis mutters under his breath. But he turns back to his paper and starts scribbling again.

He waits for Noctis to solve the equation. He’s not sure why he’s using paper and a pen instead of just accepting the answer he provided. It takes a long time. Eventually, Noctis looks up at him.

“Dude,” he says, “I can’t concentrate when you keep staring at me.”

He looks away. “Sorry,” he says.

Then he stares at nothing for a while, wondering about the book and what Noctis is doing. At last, Noctis sits back.

“Done,” he says. “X is a hundred and sixty-four.”

“Let me see,” Ignis says. He gets up and comes over to the soft chairs. He sits down beside Noctis, and Noctis hands him the paper. He examines it for some time, then frowns.

“You’ve made a mistake here,” he says, pointing. “You need to divide both sides by five, not just one.”

“Six, why is it so complicated?” Noctis asks. But he picks up his phone and taps on it. “A hundred and sixty-four divided by five is–” He pauses, then frowns, turning to stare at him. “Thirty two point eight,” he says.

There’s a short silence. Both Ignis and Noctis are staring at him now. He’s not sure why.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s thirty-two point eight.”

Noctis keeps frowning. “How did you know that?” he asks.

He’s not sure he’s understood the question. It seems so simple that it shouldn’t need asking.

“I looked at the book,” he says. “The equation was there. It says solve for x. So I solved for x.” He looks from Noctis to Ignis and back. “Was it wrong?”

“Uh, no,” Noctis says. “That’s the weird part. You got it right without even thinking about it. Are you some kind of math genius, or what?”

He opens his mouth to explain that the mathematical element in his brain functions poorly, but then remembers that he can’t. He doesn’t think humans have mathematical elements in their brains. He knows very little about how human brains work.

Noctis doesn’t wait for an answer, though. He shoves the book towards him. “Can you do the rest?” he asks.

Ignis reaches out before he can obey and takes the book. “Ahem,” he says. “I believe the point of homework is that you learn something.” He smiles at him, then raises his eyebrows at Noctis and holds out the book to him.

“Why, though?” Noctis asks. “If Prompto can just do it in his head, why do I need to know how to do it? If I ever need to know what x is, I can just ask him.”

“And what if Prompto doesn’t happen to be there when you need to solve for x?” Ignis asks, folding his arms.

“Great,” Noctis says. “So, give me an example of a time I’ll need to solve for x and I won’t be able to ask him.”

“Hmm, let me think,” Ignis says, tapping his fingertips against his chin. “Ah! I have it! During your exams.”

Noctis stares at him for a long moment. Then he sighs heavily.

“Fine,” he says, and leans back over the book again. He sighs a lot, but he doesn’t ask for help again. Eventually, he stops writing.

“Done,” he says. “Hey, can you check it for me?”

Ignis looks up. But Noctis isn’t holding the paper out to Ignis. He’s holding it out to him.

He takes the paper. It’s hard to read – Noctis’ handwriting is almost indecipherable, and the equations are set out in no kind of order that he can determine. Eventually, though, he manages to make some sense of it.

“This one is incorrect,” he says, pointing at the third one. “X is–”

“Ahem,” Ignis says. “Don’t tell him the answer, please. It’s enough for him to know that he’s wrong.”

Noctis mutters something very quietly. He sits back. He thinks Ignis is higher in the chain of command than Noctis, so he obeys the order and doesn’t tell Noctis the answer.

“Traitor,” Noctis says to him.

He swallows, but suddenly his mouth is dry. The word seems to echo in his head. He’s not a traitor. He’s not a traitor, is he? He’s done what he’s supposed to do. He’s followed orders, except now, because the orders were contradictory. How can he follow contradictory orders? But–

“Dude,” Noctis says. “Are you all right? Hey, are you all right?”

He blinks. Noctis is leaning forward. He looks worried. Ignis is standing behind. He realises his head is spinning. His breath is caught in his throat.

“Here,” Noctis says. He picks up the red bottle and holds it out. “You OK?”

He takes the bottle. He sips the red drink. Noctis doesn’t seem to be angry with him. He said he was a traitor, but he doesn’t seem to be angry with him. His head is still spinning, but he feels his breath coming a little easier.

Noctis sits back. He still looks worried. “What was that?” he says. He’s looking at Ignis. “Is that, like – a thing from the accident? What happened?”

Ignis is frowning at him. “I don’t know,” he murmurs, almost under his breath. Then he straightens up. “Homework later,” he says, speaking at a normal volume again. “Prompto – would you like to play a game?”

He swallows a mouthful of the red drink. “Yes,” he says. His voice comes out sounding strange.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. He sounds shaken. “Barrel Roll?”

But Ignis shakes his head.

“Cards,” he says.

~

That night, when they’re sitting at the kitchen table, Cor’s phone rings. He pulls it out and looks at the screen. Then he frowns and gets to his feet, going out into the hall and closing the door. He sharpens his hearing, and hears Cor answering the phone.

“Your Highness,” he says.

“Hey,” says the person on the other end of the phone. It’s Noctis. “Can you put Prompto on?”

“Excuse me?” says Cor, and then, “I’m sorry, Your Highness, you must have dialled the wrong number. This is Cor Leonis.”

“Yeah,” says Noctis. “I know that. I had to call you because Prompto doesn’t have a phone. Can you put him on?”

There’s a pause.

“Prompto?” Cor asks.

“Oh – yeah, sorry,” Noctis says. “The kid. The one who’s staying with you? I don’t know his name, so I’ve been calling him Prompto.”

Another pause, this time longer. “You’ve met him?” Cor says at last.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “He’s always hanging around Ignis’ place.” He pauses. “So... can you put him on?”

There’s another brief pause, then Cor says, “He’s asleep.”

“Huh,” Noctis says. “Well... can you get him to call me back when he wakes up?”

“He’ll sleep till morning, now,” Cor says. “He needs a lot of sleep to recover from the accident.”

“Oh, right,” Noctis says. “Yeah, so – OK, I guess.”

A pause. “Did you want to tell him anything specific? I can give him a message.”

“No, not really,” Noctis says. “Nothing specific. Hey, tell him to get a phone, though, seriously. What kind of person doesn’t have a phone?”

“I’ll pass it along,” Cor says. “Was there anything else, Your Highness?”

“No, that’s it,” Noctis says. “Night, then.”

“Good night,” Cor says. The call ends, and then there’s complete silence from the hall. It lasts for a long time, so long that he starts wondering if he’s somehow missed the sound of Cor’s footsteps walking away. He wonders if he should do something. He doesn’t know what it would be, though.

Then the door opens. Cor comes in. He sits down on the opposite side of the table. He stares at him. He doesn’t speak for a moment or two, and he feels his stomach start to churn. Something’s not right.

“You’ve met Prince Noctis,” Cor says at last.

He nods. “Yes,” he says.

Cor closes his eyes for a moment. “How many times?” he asks.

He thinks. “Five times,” he says.

Cor nods. “At Ignis’ place?”

“Yes,” he says. “He taught me phone games.” He’s not sure why he feels he has to explain, but he does.

Cor lets out a breath. His mouth twists a little. “Does he know what you are?” he asks.

“No,” he says.

“Does Ignis know what you are?” Cor asks.

“No,” he says again. He’s followed Cor’s orders, all the ones he’s given.

There’s a long silence, then. Cor stares at him, and his stomach starts to hurt more. He’s done something wrong, but he doesn’t know what it is.

At last, Cor pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“We gotta go to the Citadel,” he says. “I’m sorry, kid. I know it’s late and you’re tired.”

Cor’s the one who sounds tired. “Yes,” he says, getting to his feet. “Now?”

“Yeah, now,” Cor says.

He nods and waits for Cor to lead the way. Before they leave the apartment, though, Cor takes a jacket down from a peg in the hall.

“It’s cold out,” he says. “Put this on.”

“Yes,” he says. He puts the jacket on. It makes his stomach hurt a little less, though he’s not sure why.

Cor stands there, staring at him. He closes his eyes. “Shit,” he mutters, very quietly. Then he opens his eyes again.

“All right,” he says. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Text

It’s cold in the car. Cor turns the heat on, but he feels cold anyway. He’s glad he has the jacket. It’s too big for him, like all the clothes Cor gives him to wear. He feels like he might disappear in it. He thinks maybe that would be a good thing.

Cor doesn’t speak all the way to the Citadel. He stares at the road. His face looks angry. He’s done something wrong, but he doesn’t know what it is. He wants to ask Cor, so he knows not to do it again. He’ll be corrected this time, he’s sure – that must be why they’re going to the Citadel at night, the first time they’ve done that. But if he can find out what it was he did, maybe he can avoid being corrected again.

He thinks about what he heard. Cor spoke to Noctis on the phone. Then he came and said they had to go to the Citadel. But all Noctis said was that he needs to get a phone. He can’t get a phone because he’s an MT unit. MT units don’t have possessions. And even if he could, he would only get a phone if Cor gave him one. So surely Cor can’t be angry with him for not having a phone? No, that doesn’t make any sense.

He’s still thinking about it when they arrive at the Citadel. His stomach hurts worse now. He hopes he doesn’t vomit. He hasn’t vomited for a while. He doesn’t want to make Cor even angrier.

They climb the steps. He’s never been here at night before. The purple light is spectacular up close. But he can’t focus on it. He can only focus on Cor – on what he’s done to make Cor angry.

There are guards at the top of the steps. They look at them in surprise.

“Late for you two to be here,” one of them says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He glances at him with that angry expression. “There’s something I have to do.”

He thinks about the room where the one with the white coat examines him sometimes. He thinks that room is where corrections must happen. He shivers.

The guards let them through.

~

“What were you thinking?”

He’s sitting in a small room. It’s the same room he was in two weeks before, when he listened to the one with the club and Cor talking two rooms away. They’re talking again – two rooms away again. But the one from the phone is there with them now. He’s the one who asked the question.

“I take full responsibility,” Cor says. “I honestly assumed that Ignis always went to see Prince Noctis, not the other way round. It didn’t occur to me that they would meet each other.”

“Ignis never mentioned it?” asks the one with the club.

“No,” Cor says. “But he had no reason to. He doesn’t know what the kid is.”

The one from the phone makes a frustrated noise. “I placed a great deal of faith in your ability to keep the threat contained, Marshal. If I had known you would be so careless, I would never have let you take the boy into your custody.”

There’s a silence. Then Cor speaks. He sounds careful and slow, like he’s thinking about each word.

“Your Majesty,” he says. “Clarus. I am not trying to excuse my mistake. But I firmly believe that there’s no threat here. I’ve seen no evidence of violent tendencies or even negative emotions aside from fear and sadness. He doesn’t even entirely realise that he’s not among his people any more. I don’t think he really even has a sense that he has people. Whatever he may be, he’s not a fanatic for the cause of the Empire.”

“Or he’s a very good actor,” the one from the phone says.

“No,” Cor says. “He’s not a good actor.”

The one from the phone starts to say something else, but the one with the club interrupts and the one from the phone falls instantly silent.

“Cor,” the one with the club says, “you say my son called you to ask to speak to the boy?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Cor says.

“What exactly did he say?” the one with the club asks.

“Not much,” Cor says. “He told me the kid should have a phone. He said he didn’t want to talk to him about anything specific. And he’s given him some kind of nickname.” He pauses. “I asked the kid about it – he said Prince Noctis taught him how to play phone games.”

“You make it sound like they’re friends,” the one with the club says.

A short silence. “Yeah,” Cor says. “That’s what it sounded like to me. As I said, I take full responsibility.”

“Not what I meant, Marshal,” the one with the club says. “I am simply... rather surprised. My son does not generally tend to make friends.”

“Your Majesty, we cannot allow this association to continue,” the one from the phone says.

Another silence, then the one with the club heaves a sigh. “Agreed,” he says. “There is no sense in arguing about who’s to blame. We must put a stop to it.”

A silence. “Understood,” Cor says. “I’ll make sure they don’t see each other again.”

“Thank you, Marshal,” the one with the club says. “How are the investigations into the nature of the boy’s modifications and programming continuing?”

“They’re not, at present,” the one from the phone says. He sounds calm, but underneath it there’s something sharper. “The engineers are currently waiting for Marshal Leonis to make room in his schedule to allow them to conduct more tests.”

“Cor?” the one with the club says.

“I’ll arrange it with them directly, Your Majesty,” Cor says.

“You understand it’s necessary,” the one with the club says.

“Yeah, of course,” Cor says. Then he sighs. “I just hate how they treat the kid like he’s a new chew toy.”

A pause. “Clarus?” the one with the club says.

“I’ll instruct them to be more sensitive, Your Majesty,” the one from the phone says.

“Thank you,” the one with the club says. Then he sighs. “A regrettable situation, all round,” he says. “I hope we can help the boy.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Cor says. Then there’s the sound of footsteps, getting quieter and further away. There’s silence for a few moments. Then the one from the phone speaks.

“You look tired,” he says. “Are you getting enough sleep?”

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Yeah, just – this whole thing is shit. It’s pretty obvious I don’t know what I’m doing. For all I know I’m making it worse.”

The one from the phone sighs. “Let the engineers do their work, my friend,” he says. “How can you expect to be successful when you don’t even know what’s been done to him?”

“I know enough,” Cor says. He sounds angry again. Then he sighs. “It was helping, I think,” he says. “Seeing Ignis. Helping a lot more than I’ve been able to. The kid’s been – so much less blank these last few days.”

“You know we can’t allow it,” the one from the phone says.

“Yeah, I get that,” Cor says. “I know it was a mistake. You don’t need to tell me that the security of the kingdom is more important, Clarus, you know I know that.” He sighs again. “I just think – maybe I’m not the right person for this.”

“We can take him into detention,” the one from the phone says. “I give you my word he won’t be mistreated.”

“No – no, I don’t want that,” Cor says. “I’m not saying I want to get rid of him. Just – I wish I knew how to help him better. He’s like a robot sometimes and it’s – it can be really frustrating.”

There’s a short silence. “There’s no way to be prepared for these things,” the one from the phone says. “I certainly had no idea what I was doing with Gladio. Some days in his early teens I felt like dropping him off at the nearest orphanage. And Iris – well, she’s young yet, but of all the things I’ve been afraid of in my life, the idea of making the same mistakes with her as I did with Gladio is very high on the list.”

Cor laughs. “Yeah, you got yourself a couple of handfuls there,” he said. “Take after their mom.”

“They do,” the one from the phone says, his voice suddenly softer.

“But they’re kids, Clarus,” Cor says. “They’re your kids. This is different.”

Another silence. Then the one from the phone speaks again.

“Perhaps not as different as you might think,” he says.

~

The conversation stops after that. Cor doesn’t come to collect him, though. He waits, looking at the silent one. It’s the daytime silent one. He wonders if the silent one who taught him cards will know to come and find them here, or if he’ll go to Cor’s house.

Then the door opens and the one with the club comes in, and he stops wondering.

The one with the club limps over and stands in front of him, staring down. He has a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Good evening,” he says.

“Hi,” he says. He hopes it’s right. No-one’s ever said good evening to him before, but Ignis says good afternoon and good morning sometimes, and Cor and Noctis say hi in response, so he thinks it must be similar.

The one with the club smiles a small smile. “Indeed,” he says. He pulls up a chair and sits down facing him. “I’m told you know my son?”

He swallows. “I don’t know,” he says. He doesn’t know what son means.

“Ah,” the one with the club says. “Prince Noctis. You know him, do you not?”

“Yes,” he says. “I know him.”

The one with the club nods. He eyes him thoughtfully. “Tell me,” he says, “what kind of a person is he to have as a friend?”

He doesn’t know what friend means, though he’s heard it before. It must show on his face, because the one with the club speaks again.

“I mean to say, how does he treat you?”

He considers it. How does Noctis treat him? He talks to him, and asks him to play games. He teaches him things. He says things sometimes that are frightening. He sounds angry but he’s not angry. How does Noctis treat him? He doesn’t know. Noctis is complicated.

“He played card games with me, and he didn’t get angry when I won,” he says. He thinks maybe if he gives examples, that will be better than trying to describe what Noctis is like. He doesn’t think he can describe what Noctis is like. “But then he was happy when he beat me at phone games.” Noctis is complicated.

The one with the club smiles again. “Do you play games together often?” he asks.

He nods. “Usually when he comes to see Ignis,” he says. “He asks me to play.”

“And do you like playing games with my son?” the one with the club asks.

He thinks about it. “Yes,” he says.

The one with the club nods. “I’m glad,” he says. Then he looks sad. “I hope–” he says, and then stops. He sits silent for a moment, staring at him. Then he sighs and gets to his feet.

“I’m sorry you had to meet him under such circumstances,” he says. “I hope that the circumstances will change in the future.”

He doesn’t understand. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

The one with the club leaves, then, and a few minutes later, Cor comes to collect him.

Neither of them says anything on the way home.

~

He doesn’t sleep much that night. He lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, picking over the conversation he heard, and the one he had. There’s a lot he doesn’t understand. But he understands that the one from the phone wasn’t happy that he’s been seeing Ignis and Noctis. The one from the phone – he isn’t sure where he stands. Whether he’s higher in the chain than Cor or not. His first instinct is to think not. Surely Cor is the commander. But when he thinks about it carefully, Cor usually does what the one with the phone says. So maybe he’s wrong.

And Cor said I’ll make sure they don’t see each other again. He thinks that means him and Ignis. Or him and Noctis. He thinks that’s what it means, and the thought makes him feel a strange sort of feeling in his stomach. He doesn’t know how to describe it, exactly, but it’s not pleasant.

But then there’s the one with the club. The one with the club came to talk to him. He asked him about Noctis. And he seemed pleased. He smiled. It seemed like he was pleased when he talked about Noctis. But the one with the club – Cor and the one from the phone both did what the one with the club said. The one with the club interrupted the one from the phone, and the one from the phone fell silent immediately. It doesn’t make sense, though – the one with the club is quiet and gentle, much more than the one with the phone. So the one with the phone ought to be the commander. And the one with the club was pleased about him talking to Noctis, but the one from the phone wasn’t. And Cor said he would make sure he didn’t see Noctis again.

He doesn’t understand.

He doesn’t understand. He thinks and thinks all night until his head aches with it, but he still doesn’t understand. He wishes he could go back to yesterday, when everything was easier. He helped Noctis with math and they played cards. And he didn’t have this feeling in his stomach like he has now. He wishes he could go back.

But he can’t go back.

~

The next day, Cor doesn’t take him to see Ignis. He takes him to a different place, somewhere else along miles of corridors. There’s a room with a couch and soft chairs, a table, some empty shelves, a window. There’s nothing else there. Cor opens the door and sighs.

“OK, kid,” he says. “Can you hang here till I get back?”

He goes into the room. He looks around. There’s no-one here.

Cor points at the couch. “You got your music player?” he asks.

He fumbles in his pocket and produces the music player.

“OK,” Cor says. He looks around the room and frowns. “I’ll get you some books to look at. Maybe a TV.”

He sits on the couch. “Thank you,” he says.

Cor looks at him for a moment, then looks around the room again. He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry about this, kid,” he says. “I hope you won’t be too bored.”

“No,” he says. “I won’t be bored.”

Cor nods. He still looks worried. “Just knock on the door if you need something,” he says. He points. The silent one is standing outside the door. “Lacertus will get it for you.”

“Yes,” he says.

“All right,” Cor says. He stands in the doorway. “You’ll be all right.”

“Yes,” he says again.

Cor keeps standing in the doorway, though. He stands there for long enough that he thinks he must have forgotten something. But then he leaves.

After Cor closes the door, he hears him sigh.

~

He sits in the room all morning. He listens to the music player for a while. He closes his eyes and tries to sink into the music. But the gnawing feeling in his stomach never quite goes away. He thinks now he won’t see Ignis today. The thought makes the gnawing worse, so he carefully stops thinking about it. But the gnawing gets worse anyway, as the morning goes on.

After two hours, he stops listening to the music. Then it’s very quiet.

He looks out of the window for a while. He’s a long way up. Today the sky is grey, dark, dark grey. It seems very low, like it’s grazing the tops of the higher towers. He wonders why the sky changes colour, why it seems to rise and fall on different days. Then he thinks he shouldn’t wonder. He doesn’t know why he’s not supposed to see Ignis any more, but he must have done something wrong. This isn’t a correction, but it is a consequence. He thinks he would prefer a correction. But he doesn’t know what he did wrong. The only way he can think of to improve matters is to try to be better in every part of his life. And that means he needs to stop asking questions, even in his mind.

No questions. He can be better.

He sits on the couch. The room is very quiet. He sharpens his hearing, but he can’t hear anything outside, either, except the silent one breathing. Sometimes he catches a snatch of distant footsteps or voices. But beyond that, it’s quiet.

Time passes. The light in the room is grey and dull. It doesn’t change. He feels his limbs growing heavy. His mind begins to fill with fog. He presses his fingers into the soft fabric of the couch. Then he presses them into his thighs. But the fog wraps itself around his thoughts.

And then the door opens. It startles him. He should have heard the footsteps coming, but he didn’t hear anything. And now Cor is in the doorway. He speaks, but for a moment it’s like he’s underwater. He can’t hear anything.

Cor frowns. “...all right?” he asks.

He blinks. “Yes,” he says. “Hi.”

Cor shakes his head. “Hey, kid,” he says. He sounds tired. “I brought you some things.”

He comes to sit on one of the soft chairs. He’s carrying a bag, and he pulls two books out of it.

“Ignis gave me these,” he says. “Thought you’d like them.”

He looks at the books. They’re about the same size as Lucis by Night Laus Venustas, but he hasn’t seen them before. The top one is called Faces of Eos Mens Miror. He can’t see the bottom one.

“Thank you,” he says.

Cor grunts. He pulls a large blue tube out of the bag. “Ignis made you some soup,” he says. “He says you like this kind best. It’ll stay warm in here. Drink as much as you can, all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He wonders where Ignis is. Whether he was surprised this morning that they didn’t come.

Cor looks around the room. “Six,” he mutters. “I’ll get you some more things, all right? I can’t let you have a phone, kid, but I’m sure we can get you something to keep you busy.”

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

Cor frowns at him. He doesn’t say anything else, though, just gets to his feet.

“I’m sorry about this,” he says.

But he doesn’t know what Cor’s sorry for.

~

The afternoon is long. He drinks the soup, and the red drink. He looks at the bottle. PROMPTO!, it says. He thinks about Noctis, saying see you, Prompto. He said it like that, casual, like it was normal. It made him feel – strange. And warm. Even though he knows it wasn’t right, it felt good – to have Noctis want to give him a name. To call him by it. Like he was a person.

He’s not a person. Maybe that’s what he did wrong. He started to wish he really was a person because of the way Ignis and Noctis treated him. He doesn’t know how Cor knew he wished that, but now he’s on his own in this empty room. He remembers Ignis smiling at him and Noctis being so happy to beat him at phone games. And there’s that gnawing feeling in his stomach. It’s worse now.

He drinks his red drink. When he finishes the bottle, he hides it under the table so he can’t see the word PROMPTO! any more. He looks at the books Ignis sent for him, but he doesn’t open them. He doesn’t want to see what’s inside them. He wants to go back to being how he was before. When he was in the training facility, he would have been happy to spend all day in an empty room, with no orders and nothing to be afraid of. He wants to go back to that, and stop pretending he can be anything more than what he is. If he can go back, maybe he’ll stop feeling the gnawing feeling.

He’s defective. That’s why he’s feeling the wrong things. That’s why he feels bad now. If he wasn’t defective, he would never have let himself pretend, even for a moment. And then he wouldn’t feel bad now. So he should tell Cor about his defects, and then Cor will modify him and he won’t feel bad.

But when Cor comes back, hours later, he doesn’t tell him.

~

The next day, Cor takes him to see the engineers again. It’s the same two: the shorter one and the taller one. The shorter one stands up when he comes into the room. “Finally,” she says. The taller one doesn’t stand up. He looks him up and down. It makes his skin itch.

“You’ve got forty-five minutes,” Cor says. He looks angry. He’s looked angry ever since he collected him from the emtpy room yesterday. Cor talked to him a lot the night before, but he looked angry the whole time, and it made his stomach churn.

The taller one gets up, then. “Clothes off,” he says. “Let’s look at you.”

He goes to the table and takes off the clothes he's wearing. They make him lie down on his front, and they run a sensor all over him, up his arms and down his back and legs. It beeps, and there are readouts on a monitor that he doesn’t understand.

“This is the main CPU,” the shorter one says. She squeezes the back of his neck, above the port. “How wired in do you think his brain is?”

“Pretty wired in,” the taller one says, writing something down. “What I don’t get is what the daemon blood has to do with all this. If he’s a cyborg – why isn’t he just a cyborg?”

The shorter one puts her hands on either side of his head and turns it from one side to the other. She peers into his eyes. “The eyes aren’t mechanical,” she says. “So – maybe the daemon blood is the interface? It allows the inorganic parts to work with the organic ones?”

The taller one makes a dissatisfied noise. The shorter one keeps staring at his eyes.

“Keep your eyes open,” she says, moving so that she’s blocking his view of Cor, standing by the door. “That’s an order.” Then she extends her index finger and moves it slowly towards his eye. He keeps his eyes open, and eventually she touches his eyeball. It hurts, and his eyes water. She takes her finger away.

“Wow,” she says. Then she looks at the taller one and lowers her voice. “Unusually strong impulse control,” she says. “Or no defense mechanisms. One or the other.” She looks back at him. “You don’t have to keep your eyes open any more,” she says. Then she reaches out to touch his eyeball again. He blinks. “OK, impulse control, then,” she says. “Wow.”

The taller one stops writing. He moves as well, so his back’s to Cor. “Do you think they come out?” he murmurs.

“What, like – we could just pop one out and have a look at it?” the shorter one asks. She’s whispering, but he can hear her.

The taller one shakes his head. “They’ll never let us do that,” he murmurs. “Anyway, I’d rather crack his head open.”

The shorter one laughs soundlessly. “Right,” she says. “You think they’d let us do that?

“Hey,” Cor says then, voice sharp. “What are you two muttering about?”

They turn to look at him. He raises his eyebrows. “Tick tock,” he says.

They step back. The shorter one goes to fetch a large beaker. In the beaker is a thick, pink substance. They lean over him and start doing something to the back of his neck. He feels something cool and wet on his skin. Then there’s a sort of suffocating feeling, like a blockage in his sinuses, but somehow located at the back of his head. It increases, and he feels a stunning pressure at the base of his skull. His vision starts to blur.

“Hey, turn on your back,” the taller one says. He struggles to understand the words. The taller one reaches out and takes his shoulder, turning his body. He understands, then, and does his best to turn over. His eyes are watering.

The shorter one leans over and peers at the port for sustenance. Then she takes a metal implement and starts transferring the thick, pink substance into his port. The pressure on his skull is joined by a new pressure in his abdomen. His stomach cramps painfully.

The taller one takes a different implement and starts transferring the pink substance to his charging port. This one results in no change in pressure in his body. Dimly, he thinks it must be because his charging port is not yet in use. But he can barely think at all between the pressure in his head and the cramps in his stomach.

The two of them stand back, then. The shorter one gets out her phone and stares at it. The taller one stares at him and makes notes. He lies still on the table. His eyes are still watering. He feels cold, without any clothes.

“OK, five minutes,” the shorter one says at last. “On your front.”

He manages to roll onto his front. The pressure in his abdomen changes a little, and he fights not to vomit. The shorter one leans over him, and there’s a scraping sound which vibrates through his skull, setting his teeth on edge. Then, suddenly, blessedly, the pressure in his head is gone.

“It worked OK,” the short one says. She sounds like she’s a long way away. “I can’t see any residual in the port.”

“Great,” the taller one says. “Let’s get the others. Turn over.”

He turns over. His head is still throbbing, even though the pressure is gone. He sees that the shorter one is holding something pink in her hand. It’s shaped like the inside of his port. They made casts, he realises. That’s what the pink substance is.

The taller one is scraping at his sustenance port. After a few seconds, the pressure in his stomach disappears. The taller one steps back with another cast.

“Make sure to label these properly,” he says, handing it to the shorter one. “We don’t want to get them mixed up.”

The taller one takes out the third cast, then. The shorter one steps back, busy with the labelling. Cor stands up.

“Time’s up,” he says. “Put your clothes back on, kid.”

He sits up. His head spins, and he thinks he might throw up. He fights the feeling down and gets dressed. It’s not easy. His hands are shaking violently. The taller one stares at him the whole time, and he feels like there’s something thick and greasy on his skin. It feels better when he’s dressed, but only a little.

Cor comes and takes his arm. He pulls him towards the door. He looks back over his shoulder at the two engineers. His face is furious.

“Not even going to thank him for his help, huh?” he says.

The taller one looks up from his notes.

“Thank you for your help,” he says.

Cor shakes his head and pulls him out of the room. When he closes the door behind him, he closes it hard.

~

Cor takes him back to the room where he spent the day before. Cor walks too fast, and he almost falls twice. Each time, Cor slows down, but after a while he speeds up again. His face is still furious.

When they get to the room, Cor points to the couch. He sits on it. His head aches. His stomach aches. Cor is angry with him, and he doesn’t know why.

Cor stares at him. He tries to swallow, but his mouth is dry. Then Cor sits down.

“Those guys,” he says. “They’re dicks, OK? I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t understand what Cor means. “Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “I know it sucks,” he says. “We gotta get the hang of you, kid, or I’m never going to be able to let you have more freedom. They’re assholes, but they’re smart assholes. If I knew someone else who could figure you out, I’d kick them out so hard they’d be feeling it for the rest of their lives.”

His head is spinning, the room turning in lazy circles. He can’t make sense of anything Cor’s saying. “Yes,” he says again.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He sits in silence for a while. His hands are clasped and he stares down at the floor. At last, though, he sits up.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says. “I promise. This isn’t forever, OK?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor stands up. “I’ll get some more food for you,” he says. “Drink your drink, all right?”

He puts a bottle of the red drink on the table. Then he leaves, closing the door behind him.

He stares at the red bottle for a long time. PROMPTO! it says, the letters large and clear. He knows he’s supposed to drink it. But instead he takes it and hides it under the table.

His head throbs. His stomach still aches, too – not as bad as before, but still a continual ache. And now here he is, in the silent room. He looks at the books on the table, at the music player. At the sky outside the window. Everything in him aches, and he doesn’t know now how much of it is because of what the engineers did and how much isn’t.

He thinks about what the engineers did. He thinks about being there, on the table, with no clothes on. He’s used to people examining him. He’s used to being naked. But now he feels – greasy. He thinks of the shower at Cor’s house – how hot it is, how powerful. He thinks of the soap that smells of something strange, but not unpleasant. He wishes he could go there now.

After a while, he realises he’s crying. He tries to stop, but it doesn’t work. He doesn’t want to be here, in this room, all the hours that stretch ahead of him. He knows now he won’t be going back to see Ignis again. He won’t play games with Noctis any more. Now he’s just here, in this empty room. He’ll come back tomorrow, he’s sure of it. Tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. All those days. All those hours.

He pulls his legs up onto the couch. No-one’s here, no-one can see. He’s supposed to be being better, making himself better. But he’s so tired. He’s so tired.

So he presses his face into the soft arm of the couch and lets himself cry.

Chapter 11

Notes:

Yeah, so, wow -- you guys really liked the last chapter, huh? It's going to take me a while to get to all the comments, but I am definitely very appreciative of each and every one ♥

Chapter Text

On the fourth day he spends in the empty room, he sleeps.

He falls asleep in the morning, and wakes up perhaps an hour later. He lies on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He feels heavy. His mind moves sluggishly. But sleeping was good. Time moved more quickly. When he was asleep, he didn’t have to think, or feel the gnawing feeling in his stomach, or stare at nothing.

After a while, he closes his eyes. He keeps them closed for a long time. But he doesn’t fall asleep again.

He sits up. He drinks some soup. He stares at the wall.

He lies down again and closes his eyes. But sleep won’t come.

Experimentally, he closes down some of his functions. The mathematical and statistical elements, for example – he doesn’t need those to be in ready mode. Normally he would disengage them to save energy but keep them easily accessible.

He doesn’t need them to be easily accessible. He’ll be in the room for hours yet. He won’t need them. So he closes them down.

His mind feels quieter. But sleep still won’t come. He thinks about his mind, about his functions. He’s not doing anything. He’s not doing anything at all. Does he need any of his functions? Not many of them, certainly. He knows it’s not safe to shut down too many of them at once. But how many is too many?

He’s not sure. He shuts down a few more. His mind starts to drift. But he still doesn’t sleep. His eyes are closed, but he can still hear the silent one breathing outside the door. It seems louder now that so many fewer processes are running in his brain. So he shuts down his hearing.

Then it’s silent. And after a little while, he sleeps.

When he wakes, it’s because someone’s shaking him. He opens his eyes and sees Cor. Cor’s mouth is moving, but there’s no sound. Cor looks angry. He tries to sit up, tries to understand why there’s no sound. But no part of his body seems to work. It takes him several long moments to remember why, and in the meantime Cor’s staring, talking, looking more and more angry.

And then: he remembers. His mind’s moving so slowly. He knows why. He starts up his hearing again. It takes too long coming back online. Cor’s standing up now. The silent one has come inside and is staring at him. Cor’s got his phone out.

“...need a medical team,” Cor’s saying into his phone.

He swallows. “Cor,” he says. His voice comes out sounding strange. He starts to go through the other processes, restarting them one by one.

Cor turns sharply to look at him. He kneels down by the couch.

“Kid,” he says. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” he says. His motor control has come back online. He sits up. The room spins sickeningly.

Cor’s face changes. He lets out a heavy breath. “Shit,” he says. “Kid, you scared the shit out of me.”

He clears his throat. “I was asleep,” he says. There’s pain throbbing behind one of his eyes. It’s dangerous to shut down too many of his processes at once. He knows that. But he slept all day and now Cor’s back, and he didn’t have to sit through those hours.

Cor shakes his head slowly. Someone’s speaking on the other end of his phone – he tries to sharpen his hearing to listen, but it sends a spike of pain through his head – and Cor puts it back to his ear.

“Cancel that,” he says. “He’s all right.”

The silent one is still staring at him. He lowers his eyes. He starts up the last few processes. He should be fully functioning now. But he feels shaky and cold, and his stomach’s cramping.

Cor ends the call. He’s still kneeling on the floor. He stares at him.

“What happened?” he asked. “Are you sick?”

He shakes his head. It makes his head throb. “I was asleep,” he says again.

Cor just stares at him for a few seconds. Then he gets to his feet.

“OK,” he says. “We’re going to see the doctor.”

~

It’s a long way to the room where the one in the white coat works. His mind feels disconnected from his body, and when he walks, it feels like he’s floating. Cor walks slowly, and he’s glad. But Cor still looks angry.

The one in the white coat examines him just like before. She frowns at him when she tests his eyes.

“His reactions are sluggish,” she says to Cor. “What have you eaten today?”

It takes him a moment to realise the question is for him. He thinks. The early part of the day is suffused in a kind of fog in his memory.

“Soup,” he says.

“How much?” she asks.

He tries to estimate. “A quarter of a cup,” he says.

The one in the white coat sighs heavily, then turns and raises her eyebrows at Cor. “Here we are again,” she says.

Cor frowns at him. “Why didn’t you eat more?” he asks. “You know you’re supposed to finish the flask.”

His throat’s dry. He failed to fulfil his orders, and now Cor’s angry. “I was asleep,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

Cor runs his hand through his hair. “Kid,” he says. “You need to eat. You need to eat or you’ll die, understand me?”

“Yes,” he says. He knows that. Without sustenance, he will die. “I understand.”

“Has he been eating enough in general?” the one in the white coat asks. “He hasn’t lost any weight.”

Cor shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he says. “I assumed – Six, I don’t fucking know.”

The one in the white coat turns to him. “Is that usually the amount you eat in a day?” she asks. “A quarter of a cup of soup?”

He starts to shake his head, then remembers the pain and stops. “No,” he says. “I have two flasks of soup and two bottles of sports drink.” It makes him feel uncomfortable sometimes, so much liquid sitting heavily on his stomach.

She nods. “Sounds all right,” she says. “You slept all day?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Do you usually sleep all day?” she asks.

“No,” he replies.

She nods again. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” she says to Cor. “But you need to make sure you eat properly. Understand?”

The question is for him again. “Yes, I understand,” he says.

Cor’s shaking his head, though. “That’s not all it was,” he says. “When I came in – he looked like he was dead. His heart was barely beating, and when he woke up he just stared at me like he wasn’t even in there.”

The one in the white coat frowns. “He doesn’t normally sleep that way?” she asks.

“Absolutely not,” Cor says. He says it emphatically. He’s shifting from foot to foot, like he can’t keep still.

The one in the white coat looks at her notes. “His heart-rate is fine now,” she says. “Blood pressure fine. Reactions are a little sluggish, but that’s probably the low blood sugar.” She looks at him. “You feel OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t want to tell her about the floating and the pain. He doesn’t want her to know he shut down too many processes. Doesn’t want Cor to know.

She nods, then frowns at her notes. Cor watches her. His hands are clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“Right, here’s what we’ll do,” she says. She opens a drawer and pulls out a green rubber strip. “He can wear this. It’ll keep track of his heartbeat, and if it falls below a critical threshold, or starts beating irregularly, it’ll send you an alarm. I think this was probably just a weird one-off, but it’ll help keep your mind at rest. OK?”

Cor frowns. “Isn’t there a scan you can do?” he asks. “Check if his heart is damaged?”

“His heart sounds fine,” the one with the white coat says. “Look, Marshal, the human body is a weird and wonderful thing. Sometimes it does inexplicable stuff. We’ll keep track of his heartbeat for the next month. If it doesn’t happen again...” She shrugs. “Try not to worry so much.”

“Easy for you to say,” Cor mutters.

The one with the white coat turns to him. “Hold out your arm,” she says.

He does. She fastens the rubber strip around his wrist, under the shirt cuff. She adjusts it, then presses something.

“Keep it on,” she says.

“Yes,” he says.

~

That night, he can’t sleep. He can hear his heart beating in his ears. He can’t stop thinking about how angry Cor was because he couldn’t wake him up. It’s his fault – he knows it’s his fault, he knew he shouldn’t close down all those processes but he did it anyway. He wonders how angry Cor would be if he found out what really happened.

He thinks he would be really angry.

He’s been lying in bed for three hours when he hears footsteps coming up the stairs. The silent one murmurs a greeting.

“Late night tonight, huh?” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “I’m just gonna–”

The door handle turns. He closes his eyes. He’s supposed to be asleep. He doesn’t want to make Cor even angrier.

Cor comes in. He stands by the bed. Then he leans down and presses two fingers against his neck. He waits for approximately fifteen seconds. Then he takes the fingers away. He stands there for a little while longer. Then he sighs.

“Six, kid,” he murmurs. “What am I going to do with you?”

He doesn’t answer. He hopes Cor still thinks he’s asleep. Then Cor leaves. He closes the door quietly. Outside, he speaks to the silent one.

“Arcis, can you check in on him a couple of times tonight?” he says. “Make sure he’s – I don’t know. Breathing.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. “I heard about what happened. Lacertus said the kid looked – really bad.”

There’s a pause. “Yeah,” Cor says at last. He sounds tired.

“He seems OK now, though,” the silent one says.

“Yeah,” Cor says again. “Just – check in on him.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says.

~

The next day, he’s in the empty room again. Cor brings in a screen in the morning. “Can’t let you watch live TV, kid, I’m sorry,” he says. “There’s a pretty big movie library on here, though.” He points at a device that looks like a hard drive. It’s attached to the screen. “You can watch anything you want,” he says. “Here’s the remote.”

Cor holds out a flat black box, covered in buttons. He takes it. “Thank you,” he says.

Cor nods. He looks angry. “Yeah, no problem,” he says. “Make sure you eat something, OK?”

After Cor leaves, he drinks all the soup as quickly as he can, so that Cor won’t be angry with him for not eating again. It makes his stomach churn, but he manages not to throw up. Then he sits. He sits there for an hour, and then a second hour, and everything hurts. It’s not physical hurt – though there’s still some lingering aching from shutting too many of his processes down – but it doesn’t make a difference. It hurts anyway. He feels dull and sluggish, and he thinks of that oblivion the day before, when he was here all day but he didn’t have to feel it. It had been so much easier.

But Cor had been angry. He’d been angry. He hadn’t told him not to sleep today, but if he’d known what he’d done – he would have forbidden it. He certainly would have forbidden it.

He can’t do it again.

He lies down. Maybe he can fall asleep without shutting down his processes. He stares at the ceiling, then closes his eyes. He barely slept in the night. He ought to be tired.

He doesn’t fall asleep.

It’s been an hour, and he’s wrestling with it – maybe he can just close one or two processes down, maybe that won’t have the same effect – when he hears a scraping noise in the corner of the room. He sits up immediately, all thoughts of sleep gone. His heart’s thudding in his ears, and he looks at the strap around his wrist and wonders if someone, somewhere can see the change.

The scraping comes again. It’s coming from behind the wall, behind the empty shelves. He leans forward, about to get to his feet. But then, part of the wall swings outwards. Just a small part, maybe a metre squared. Behind it is a person, who makes a complaining noise and struggles through the hole, movements awkward and ungainly. The person lands on the floor, then immediately stands up, dusting himself off with an air of nonchalance. The person looks at him.

“Hey,” he says.

It’s Noctis.

He stares. Noctis turns and closes the hatch that opened in the wall. Then he comes and sits in one of the soft chairs. He looks around.

“Wow,” he says. “Some rehabilitation.”

He blinks. “Hi,” he says.

Noctis looks at him. He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, hi,” he says. “How’s it going?”

He’s not sure how to answer the question. “Going where?” he says. Then he looks at the wall. He can’t see the edges of the hatch. He sharpens his vision, and eventually makes out a minute crack in the wall. He wonders if he’s hallucinating. “You came through the wall.”

“No shit,” Noctis says. “Cor said you were being rehabilitated. So... that’s not true, huh?”

He’s heard it before. Rehabilitated. “Yes,” he says, not quite sure. “I’m being rehabilitated.”

Noctis raises his eyebrows. “In an empty room with a guard on the door?” he says. “You know, I’m not sure Cor knows what rehabilitation means.”

He swallows. “You came through the wall,” he says again. He feels like none of this can be real.

Noctis sighs. “Yeah,” he says. “I figured – great, you’re being rehabilitated, right? I mean, you obviously need it. No offence.” He pauses, looking sideways at him, like he’s expecting a response to that.

“Yes,” he says. “I need it.” Noctis isn’t the first person to say that. So he needs it, whatever it is.

“Yeah, exactly,” Noctis says. “So – I don’t know, it sucked because I was definitely gonna beat you at Altissian pickup next time, but whatever. But anyway – and then I was just – you know, wandering around the Citadel, because – I don’t know, there wasn’t much going on. And I saw that guy.” He points at the door. “Lacertus. He was outside Ignis’ door whenever you were in there. And then he was outside this door. And, like, there’s nobody here, in this part of the Citadel. So I figured something was going on.”

He blinks. The explanation is long, and doesn’t seem to explain anything. “You came through the wall,” he says.

Noctis rolls his eyes. “Yeah, turns out growing up in a place, you find out all its secrets. Even the ones the people in charge of security don’t know.” He gestures at the wall, where the invisible hatch is. “This place is jammed with hidden passageways, I swear. My ancestors must have been pretty damn paranoid.”

He understands perhaps sixty percent of the explanation. Noctis saw the silent one, and knew he was in here. Noctis knew how to get in here because – he knows all the hidden passageways, somehow. He doesn’t know why Noctis came here.

“So, you wanna blow this joint?” Noctis asks. “You must be bored out of your skull.”

“No,” he says. “I’m not bored.” He doesn’t know what blow this joint means.

Noctis snorts. “Right,” he says. “You’ve got two whole books there. This place is like entertainment central.”

He stares. Noctis stares back.

“I mean, seriously,” he says. “We could go to the arcade or something. We’ll go through the passage, Lacertus’ll never even know you were gone.”

Now he understands: Noctis wants him to leave.

“Cor said I have to stay here,” he says.

Noctis laughs. “Right,” he says. “Well, Cor’s the marshal, and I’m the prince, so who are you going to follow?”

He doesn’t hesitate. “Cor,” he says.

Noctis stares at him, eyebrows rising. He looks surprised. “Seriously?” he says, after a short pause.

He doesn’t understand why Noctis is always asking about whether things are serious. “Yes,” he says.

A strange expression comes over Noctis’ face then. He sits back in the chair. “Huh,” he says. “Wow.”

He sits, waiting. He wonders what will happen next. He didn’t want to disobey Noctis, but he can’t obey both Noctis and Cor at the same time. He hopes Noctis won’t be angry.

But Noctis doesn’t look angry. “Fine,” he says, standing up. He goes to the hatch and opens it. He climbs inside. And then he’s gone, the hatch closing behind him.

He stares at the wall, the hatch invisible now. He sharpens his hearing and hears Noctis travelling through to the next room, muttering and thumping. Then he hears Noctis cross the next room and open a door. He listens as his footsteps diminish, sharpening his hearing as far as it will go, even though it hurts a little with an echo of yesterday’s pain. Eventually, the footsteps move out of the range of his hearing.

He sits back on the couch. He feels suddenly like he might cry again. He fights with the tears, but some spill over anyway. The gnawing feeling in his stomach is intensified. If he’d gone with Noctis – but no, he couldn’t go. Cor told him to stay here. He has to stay here, even though there’s nothing here and even though Noctis wanted him to go somewhere else. He has to stay here, and he wishes he could shut down all his processes, all of them.

But he can’t. He can’t. And even though he can’t, he’s still thinking about it. He’s still thinking about it when he hears a thumping in the wall. He turns and stares at it. His heart seems to jump in his chest, and his breath catches in his throat. The hatch opens. And Noctis tumbles through.

“Hey, Prompto,” he says, sitting up and brushing himself off. He looks back at the hatch. “Maybe need to get a ramp or something,” he mutters.

He swallows. “You came back,” he says.

Noctis looks at him. “Uh, yeah,” he says. “I was just going to fetch this.” He holds up a small bag. “Didn’t I say?”

He shakes his head. “I thought you’d gone,” he says.

“What, to the arcade?” Noctis shrugs. “Sure, maybe I’ll go later.” He looks at him sideways, under his eyelashes, then looks away, at a spot on the wall. “Pretty boring by yourself, you know?”

He doesn’t know. “Yes,” he says.

“Exactly,” Noctis says. He gets up, closes the hatch, and comes over to the couch. He sits down next to him. He opens the bag and pulls out a piece of equipment. “Figured – hey, phone games are cool, and all, but console games are so much better,” he says. He pulls out two smaller devices and holds one out. “Here, let me attach it to the TV.”

He takes the device that Noctis holds out to him. It’s a silver-grey colour and made of plastic, with several buttons on it. It’s somewhat like the flat black box Cor gave to him earlier, but it’s shaped differently, wide instead of long, and more irregular.

“Thank you,” he says.

Noctis glances back from where he’s connecting cables to the screen. “Whatever,” he says. He comes back to the couch and sits down. “You ever played King’s Knight?” he asks.

He shakes his head. Noctis grins. “I figured,” he says. “Here.”

He presses a button, and the screen leaps into life. Noctis turns around to face him on the couch.

“OK,” he says. “So, the story is there’s this princess...”

He listens to the explanation of the game. He doesn’t understand all of it, nor what the purpose of the game is. But he listens intently. Noctis came here to play this game with him. There’s no other explanation. He went away to fetch the equipment, and he brought it back to play the game with him. He’s animated now, explaining the game, in a way he’s never seen him before. He’s here, in this empty room. He came here on purpose.

He listens to the explanation, and he feels a swelling feeling in his chest. It swells and swells until he thinks it might choke him. But it’s not a bad feeling. It feels good. It overwhelms the gnawing feeling in his stomach, and then, for the first time in days, that feeling is gone. He feels good.

Noctis stops speaking. “You OK?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m OK.”

“Great.” Noctis picks up the small device. “I’ll show you how to use the controller. You ready?”

And he nods.

“I’m ready,” he says.

Chapter Text

King’s Knight is complicated. There are lots of rules, and he finds it hard to understand why some of the things in the game happen. Every now and then there’ll be a scene where the avatars that represent him and Noct talk to each other, or to other simulated people. He’s not sure why these scenes exist. The people don’t truly exist, and the scenes seem to be to explain why the avatars are assigned their various tasks. This strikes him as unnecessary and inefficient; surely it would make more sense for the programme simply to assign the tasks and expect them to be completed?

Most of the game is running and fighting, though. He finds the controller easier to handle than the phone, so even though he’s still slower than Noctis, the gap between them isn’t so large. And they’re playing together now: their avatars are both on the same side, rather than trying to beat each other. He worries about performing poorly, since his performance will affect Noctis, but nonetheless, he feels less unsettled cooperating with Noctis than he did trying to defeat him.

The best thing about the game is how pleased it makes Noctis to play. He keeps his voice low – because of the silent one outside the door – but he has an energy about him that he hasn’t seen before. He makes that gesture like pulling a string when they complete a task, and after a particularly difficult simulated battle, he whisper-shouts yes and turns to grin at him, his hand raised, palm outwards.

He’s not sure what the gesture means. After a moment, he thinks to try smiling back. Noctis frowns at him, and he removes the smile from his face. That wasn’t correct, then.

“High five?” Noctis says, like he’s confused.

He tries to decipher what the phrase might mean. He looks at the screen: perhaps it’s some kind of score. But the screen is paused and there are no numbers on it. He looks back at Noctis.

“You don’t know what a high five is?” Noctis asks. “Seriously?”

He feels suddenly stupid. It’s not unusual for him to feel that way, but after the last hour or so, when he’s been performing, if not outstandingly, then at least adequately, the sudden change makes his heart feel like it’s sinking in his chest.

“Wow,” Noctis says. He lowers his hand. Then he shakes his head. “Hey, it’s not a big deal,” he says. “You don’t have to look like someone’s run over your puppy.”

He didn’t know he was looking like that. He’s not really sure what that looks like. But he tries to change his expression into something else, in the hope that it’ll be appropriate.

Noctis looks startled. “Uh,” he says, “did you hurt yourself or something?”

He gives up. None of his facial expressions are appropriate. But Noctis is speaking again.

“It’s a thing,” he says. “Like – when you’ve done something cool. You put your hand up like this.” He demonstrates. “And the other person puts their hand up, too, and then you slap hands. It’s called a high five.”

He blinks. He wants to ask why, but he doesn’t want to look even more stupid. “When you’ve done something cool?” he asks. Noctis says things are cool a lot, and he’s starting to think it has nothing to do with temperature.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “Like, winning that battle. That was cool, right? So: high five.”

Noctis raises his hand. He raises his own, tentatively, hoping that he’s correct. Noctis slaps it, palm to palm, and grins.

“High five,” he says.

“High five,” he replies. Noctis has lowered his hand, so he lowers his own.

“Now you’re getting it,” Noctis says.

He nods. “Yes,” he says.

Noctis raises his eyebrows. He turns back to the game, and looks like he’s about to start playing again, but then he turns back.

“Hey – why do you talk like that?” he asks. “You always say yes.”

He doesn’t quite understand the question. “What – should I say instead?” he asks.

“I mean – yeah,” Noctis says. “Nobody says yes all the time. You sound like Ignis.”

“Yeah,” he says. It feels a little strange in his mouth, so he tries it again. “Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “Much better.”

He picks up his controller again. “Yeah,” he mutters to himself. He’ll try and remember. But there’s a question, now, and he wonders whether he should ask it. He thinks maybe Noctis will think he’s stupid, but on the other hand, he needs clarification so that he doesn’t keep speaking inappropriately. So he takes a deep breath.

“It’s bad to sound like Ignis?” he asks. Ignis speaks clearly and gives detailed instructions. He thinks it ought to be good to sound like Ignis.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “I mean – not if you are Ignis, obviously. He can get away with that shit because – uh, because he’s Ignis. But when you talk like that you sound – like a robot.”

Cor said the same thing about him. He’s like a robot sometimes. He’s not a robot. MT units are significantly more complex than robots.

“I’m not a robot,” he says.

“No shit,” Noctis replies. “We just gotta get you into the groove a bit more, you know? This whole brain damage thing–” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what this is, witness protection or whatever, but you’re not going to get back to being normal by spending all your time talking to Cor and sitting in here.” He glances at him. “I mean – where are your clothes?”

He glances down. He’s still wearing clothes. “They’re here,” he says.

Noctis raises an eyebrow. He looks him up and down. “Yeah, but I mean,” he gestures, “they’re not your clothes, right? They’re too big. And they’ve got Cor Leonis written all over them.”

He looks down at the clothes he’s wearing. He doesn’t see Cor Leonis written on them anywhere. “Oh,” he says. He wonders if Noctis is using some different mode of vision. He switches to infrared, then night mode. But he still doesn’t see it.

“Yeah, exactly,” Noctis says. He shrugs. “So yeah – I’m not gonna ask what happened to your clothes.” He glances sideways at him. “I’m just saying. You’re not blending in.”

“Oh,” he says again. He didn’t know the clothes were inappropriate. But Cor gave them to him and told him to wear them. He wonders why. He wonders what sort of clothes he’s supposed to be wearing.

Then Noctis nudges him. It feels warm.

“Hey,” he says. “Are we playing, or what?”

And so they play.

~

In the early afternoon, Noctis’ phone chimes. He reaches for it blindly, still staring at the game, then glances at the screen. Then he pauses.

“Shit,” he says.

The game suddenly stops. Noctis jabs at buttons on his controller, and a message appears: Saving progress...

“Sorry, man,” Noctis says. “I gotta go. I’m late.” He turns off the screen and scrambles across the floor, disconnecting all the cables and shoving the console device in his bag. He grabs the controller out of his hands.

“Forgot the time,” he says.

He sits and watches. In less than a minute, Noctis has all of his equipment back in his bag. Noctis heads for the hatch in the wall. He begins to feel a sort of dead feeling, like there’s a weight in his chest. Noctis opens the hatch, then glances back.

“Hey, so – I’ll come back tomorrow after school,” he says. “OK? Are you still gonna be here?”

“Yes,” he says, then, “Yeah.” He sits up straighter. He doesn’t know when after school is, but Noctis said tomorrow. He said he would come back tomorrow.

“Cool,” Noctis says. “See you, Prompto.”

And then he disappears into the hatch. It closes behind him, and he sharpens his hearing to listen as Noctis makes his way through and moves away, further and further away until he’s gone. He listens for a little longer, just in case, but then he brings his hearing back to normal levels.

Noctis is gone.

But the dead feeling is gone, too. The gnawing feeling is gone. The room is empty, just as it was before. But Noctis came here to play the game with him, on purpose. Noctis instructed him how to talk more appropriately and how to do high five. And Noctis said he would come back tomorrow. He said he would come back tomorrow.

He finds his red drink, where it was hidden under the table. PROMPTO!, it says on the side. He traces the letters. “Prompto,” he whispers. Then he takes the lid off and drinks some.

It’s quiet in the room. But it doesn’t seem like it did before. It’s like there’s an echo of something else in here, now. He looks at the blank screen and remembers playing the game. He looks at the empty couch and remembers Noctis whisper-laughing.

On the table are the books Cor gave to him from Ignis. He hasn’t looked at either of them – hasn’t even opened them. Now he reaches out and takes the top one. Faces of Eos Mens Miror. He opens it.

Inside are images. But these images are different from the ones he’s seen before. These images aren’t of landscapes, or of organisms. They’re of people. Of people’s faces. None of them are colour images, all just greyscale. He flicks through, glancing at the faces, wondering when there’ll be something else. But then he stops. The image he stops on is an image of a person. She doesn’t look like any person he’s seen before. Her skin seems not to quite fit right on her face. It sags under her chin, and it’s covered with lines and folds, some deep, some shallow. Her hair is very pale. She looks out of the image. She has dark eyes. He feels, somehow, that she’s looking at him, even though he knows it’s an image and not a person. She’s not smiling, but somehow he feels that she’s pleased.

He stops. He looks at the image. He looks at it for a long time.

He wonders who the person is. He looks for the words in the corner of the page. They read: Ella: Lestallum. He doesn’t know what the words mean. So he looks back at the image. Who is she? Why is she pleased? Does she know about the image? Does she know that he’s here now, looking at her?

She can’t know. But he feels, somehow, that she does. That she’s seen him, just like he’s seen her. He knows it’s not true. But he feels it anyway.

He frowns. He turns the page. The next picture is of a level one. He smiles. He’s missing one of his front teeth. His eyes sparkle. The words read Marcus: Accordo.

He stares at the image for a long time. Then he turns the page.

~

Eventually, he falls asleep. He doesn’t close down any of his processes. He doesn’t even lie down and close his eyes. He’s looking at the images, and then he falls asleep. He only knows he’s done it when he wakes, a warm hand on his arm and a voice in his ear.

“Kid, hey,” Cor’s saying. “Wake up.” There’s a sharp note in his voice.

He opens his eyes and sits up. Cor’s face is angry. He shouldn’t have fallen asleep. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to.”

Cor stares at him. “Didn’t mean to what?” he asks.

“Fall asleep,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

Cor sits down on the table. He stares at him for a long time.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. He wonders if Cor will correct him this time.

Then Cor suddenly makes a noise. It’s a strange noise, like he’s hurt himself. He shakes his head and closes his eyes.

“I’m not angry with you, kid,” he says. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You freaked me out, that’s all. After yesterday – you scared me.”

He stares. He scared Cor? How can he scare Cor? He can’t correct Cor. He can’t do anything to Cor.

“I don’t understand,” he says.

Cor runs his hand through his hair. He sighs. “After yesterday,” he says. “When you wouldn’t wake up. I came in and I thought – maybe it had happened again.” He stands up. “You don’t have to apologise. It’s my fault.”

He stands up, too. He wants to tell Cor that he just fell asleep normally this time, that he didn’t close down any of his processes. He doesn’t understand why Cor was scared, but he wants to make sure Cor knows he doesn’t need to be scared. But then he’ll have to tell Cor that he closed down his processes yesterday, and he doesn’t want to do that. So he stands. He thinks. But he can’t think of a solution.

Cor looks him up and down. “You feeling all right?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. Then he remembers Noctis. “Yeah.”

Cor raises an eyebrow. “Huh,” he says. Then he looks down at the table. The book is still open. The image it shows is the woman whose skin doesn’t fit right. He went back to that after looking at the other images. “You like that book?” Cor says.

“Yeah,” he says.

The corner of Cor’s mouth twitches. He looks suddenly less angry. He’s been looking angry for days, but now he doesn’t look angry any more. “Good,” he says. “That’s great.” He reaches out. He puts a hand on his back, between the shoulder blades. It feels warm.

“Let’s go home,” Cor says.

~

That night, something new happens.

They sit down at the kitchen table, like they do every night. Normally he drinks some more soup and Cor eats something. But today Cor puts a bowl in front of him. It has a white substance in it. It looks like viscous liquid, but it has white grains floating in it, like the ones he sees Cor eat sometimes. He knows Cor’s told him the name of the grains, but he can’t remember it.

“Rice pudding,” Cor says. “Don’t worry, I didn’t make it – I asked Ignis to make some for you.”

He stares at the rice pudding – rice, that’s the name of the white grains – and wonders what Cor wants him to do. There’s an implement beside the bowl, and he looks at it until his brain supplies the word spoon.

“Time to start getting you onto solids, kid,” Cor says. “Soup’s not going to keep you going forever.”

He swallows. He picks up the spoon. He’s seen Cor do it lots of times, but even so it takes him two attempts to get it correctly situated in his hand. He puts the spoon into the rice pudding and then lifts it up. His stomach turns over as he imagines putting it into his mouth. Soup is almost water, but the idea of putting something solid into his mouth and chewing it – swallowing it – he can’t understand how anyone can do that. Even having watched Cor and Ignis and Noctis do it, he can’t understand how.

But Cor told him to. So he has to do it.

He closes his eyes. Maybe if he can’t see the rice pudding, it won’t be so bad.

He puts the spoon in his mouth.

It’s strange, the feeling of metal on his tongue. It reminds him of lying on his back, staring up into bright lights. He feels a pain in his side that he’s sure isn’t really there. He removes the spoon as quickly as he can. But then the rice pudding is inside his mouth. It feels sticky and glutinous, full of lumps. He chews as little as possible and swallows hard. The rice puddingslides down his throat, but then it feels like it gets stuck in his chest, a hard, painful lump.

“You’re doing great,” Cor says. “Keep going.”

He picks up another spoonful. He does the same thing as before. He tries to keep the spoon from pressing against his tongue, but even so, the feel of it brings the flash of lights, again, and the echo of pain in his side, near his sustenance port. He swallows without chewing this time, and that makes it easier.

When he opens his eyes, though, Cor’s staring at him.

“You OK, kid?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. It comes out sounding odd. He puts the spoon back into the rice pudding. He lifts it up again. He puts it in his mouth. He closes his eyes.

When he opens his eyes again, it’s because Cor’s put a hand on his arm.

“That’s great,” he says. “You did great. You don’t have to eat any more.”

He stares at him. He’s holding the spoon so hard his hand is shaking. “I haven’t finished it,” he says.

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. “It’s a start. OK? You don’t have to finish it.”

He doesn’t argue any more. He puts the spoon down. There’s relief somewhere, but there’s also the feeling of nausea in his stomach, and the sense that the rice pudding is still stuck somewhere in his chest.

Cor leans back in his chair. He’s frowning at him. “It makes you feel bad, huh?” he says.

He swallows. His mouth feels thick and sticky. He’s supposed to eat it, but it makes him feel bad. Will Cor be angry if he says yes?

“Yeah,” Cor says, like he answered the question, even though he didn’t. “OK. I’ll talk to Ignis. We’ll try and find something that doesn’t make you feel bad.” He pauses. “You’re going to need to learn to eat solid food sometime, though, kid.”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor shakes his head. “I’m sorry, kid,” he says. “I know you were having a good day. I didn’t mean to make you do something you don’t like.”

He thinks about this. He was having a good day. Was he?

He thinks about Noctis, tumbling through the hatch. Coming to play a game with him. Teaching him to do high five.

“Yeah,” he says.

~

That night, his stomach churns for hours. He lies awake, feeling it cramp and gurgle. He tries not to think about the rice pudding. He hopes he won’t throw up.

Long after midnight, Cor comes up the stairs. He stops outside his door.

“You going in?” the silent one asks, voice low.

There’s a silence. Then Cor sighs.

“No,” he says. “Let him have his privacy.”

“Seemed like he was feeling better tonight,” the silent one says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Something happened. I don’t know what. But he’s better today.”

“Good,” the silent one says. “Hated to see the kid looking so down.”

Another silence. Then Cor speaks.

“Yeah,” he says. “Me too.”

~

The next day, he can’t sit still.

He stands up and goes to the window. Then he sits down. He looks at the book with the images of faces. But he can’t concentrate on it. He stands up again. Sits down again.

The morning passes. He can’t sit still. But there’s a feeling growing in his chest. A dull, heavy sort of feeling. Like the way he felt the day before when Noctis was leaving, before he said he would come back. It grows and grows. And as it grows, the restless energy fades. He starts to understand, as time ticks on into the middle of the afternoon: Noctis isn’t coming.

He isn’t coming.

He sits. He stares at the wall. He tries to understand. And then he stops trying to understand. Noctis said he would come. But he hasn’t come. Maybe it was some kind of test. But if so, he doesn’t understand the purpose of the test.

If so, he thinks he’s failed the test.

And then: the sound of footsteps in the next room. A muffled thump in the wall between the two. He turns, suddenly, heart jumping in his chest.

The hatch opens. Noctis appears, half-falling out of the wall.

“Sheesh,” he says, getting up and dusting himself off. “They really could have put that thing closer to the floor.”

He tries to speak, but no words come out. Noctis turns to him and raises his eyebrows.

“You OK?” he says. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He swallows. “I thought you weren’t coming,” he says.

Noctis shrugs. “Said I’d come after school, didn’t I?” he says. “I came straight here.” He glances at him, then looks carefully at the wall. “I mean, if you don’t want to play, though–”

“No, I want to,” he says. “I want to.” His voice comes out higher-pitched than usual.

Something loosens in Noctis’ shoulders. “Great,” he says. “I’ve got that game saved, and it’d suck if I had to ditch all that progress.”

Noctis pulls the game equipment out of his bag and starts to connect the cables to the screen. He hands him the controller, and he feels the weight of it in his hand. It fits his hand, like it’s meant to be there. And the dead feeling in his chest lifts.

~

They play. After an hour or so, they pause. He drinks some of the red drink. Noctis drinks something he’s brought with him, in a black tube-shaped can.

“Hey, so,” Noctis says, “you forgot a lot of stuff, right?”

He blinks and turns to look at him. “Yeah,” he says. He scrambles to remember what he’s supposed to tell Noctis. “Because of the accident.”

“Yeah,” Noctis says. He taps a fingernail on the top of his can. “I mean – but really a lot of stuff, right? Like – high fives. You must have known how to do those before the accident, right?”

He sips his red drink. “I don’t know,” he says. It’s one of the answers Cor permitted him.

“Huh,” Noctis says. He’s draped over the couch, half-sitting, half-lying down. His eyes are only half open, like he’s thinking about falling asleep. But they’re bright. They’re watching him. “Must be weird.”

“Yeah,” he says. It is weird. Everything’s weird, now.

Noctis pulls at a stray thread on his shirt. He looks away. But his eyes are watching, looking at him sideways. “What about your parents?” he asks, sounding like he doesn’t really care.

“My parents died in the accident,” he says. He doesn’t know what parents means, but it’s what Cor told him to say.

“Shit,” Noctis says. He’s looking at him straight on now. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to pry.”

He doesn’t understand why Noctis is apologising. He doesn’t know the appropriate response, so he doesn’t say anything.

Noctis looks away from him. He stares at the screen, which shows the paused game. He doesn’t restart it, though.

“My mom died, too,” he says. “I know how much it sucks.” He glances sideways at him. “Sorry.”

He nods. He hopes it’s the right thing to do. It seems like it is, because Noctis sits up.

“Play some more?” Noctis says.

“Yeah,” he says, relieved.

And they play.

~

The next morning, he’s prepared. He knows now that Noctis won’t come until the afternoon. That’s what after school means. He still doesn’t know what school is, but when it is is becoming clearer. So when he arrives in the empty room, he doesn’t feel the same inability to concentrate that he had the day before. But there’s still some of that energy. It lasts him until mid-morning. Then, without warning, he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, it’s dark. He thinks at first that somehow he’s managed to sleep until night-time. But he’s not on the couch any more, either. He’s curled up in a tight space. He reaches out his hands, and finds a smooth, cool surface in front of him. A similar one behind. He feels a sudden fluttering of fear in his chest; it seems to him that the surfaces are coming towards him – that the small space is growing smaller. He pushes against the surface in front of him, trying to stop it from moving forward and crushing him.

And the surface gives way. It swings open, revealing a square of light. He surges forwards, gasping for air. He falls, landing hard on his shoulder. He blinks up at the ceiling.

He’s in the empty room.

He sits up, rubbing his shoulder. He stares at the yawning black hole out of which he just fell.

The hatch. The secret passageway. He was in the secret passageway.

How did he get in there?

He doesn’t know.

He reaches out and closes the hatch. Then he gets to his feet. He feels disoriented, like his limbs are too long for his body. He goes back to sit on the couch. Wasn’t he on the couch before? He remembers sitting on the couch. And then – what?

And then he was in the secret passageway.

He doesn’t understand.

~

He’s still thinking about it an hour later, when Noctis falls out of the hatch onto the floor. Then he stops, because Noctis is there, and now he can think about something else.

“Hey, Prompto,” Noctis says.

“Hi,” he says in return.

“New goon on the door today,” Noctis says.

“Yeah,” he says. Today there’s a new silent one. Cor said that the other one had a day off.

Noctis is wearing his blue clothes again, with the string hanging from his neck. He loosens the string and comes over to the couch, sitting down beside him.

“You should get Cor to get you some more books,” he says. “You’re always looking at the same one.”

He looks at the book. It’s open to the picture of the person whose skin doesn’t fit right. “It’s good,” he says.

“Whatever,” Noctis says with a shrug. “I can bring you some comics, if you want.”

He doesn’t know what comics means. “Yeah,” he says. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Noctis says. “Hey, I got you these.”

He turns to look at what Noctis is holding. It’s a pair of sunglasses, like his but smaller, slimmer, in a different style. He’s frowning at them, wondering why Noctis brought them when he already has sunglasses, when Noctis suddenly reaches out and takes the sunglasses from his face.

“These ones make you look like a–” he starts, and then he stops. He sits for a moment, mouth open in the act of forming the next word. Then he drops the sunglasses. They fall on the floor with a clatter. Noctis jumps to his feet. He jumps backwards, eyes fixed on him. He’s reaching down, reaching for the sunglasses so he can put them back on – he’s supposed to have them on all the time, Cor told him to – but they’re too far and he has to stand up to reach them.

“Stay back,” Noctis says. He says it very loud. He’s holding out his hand, and suddenly there’s a flash of blue light and he’s holding a knife that’s much bigger than any other knife he’s seen.

He wants to stay back. But he needs to put the sunglasses back on. Cor told him to always wear the sunglasses. So he takes a step forward to reach them.

Noctis jumps back again. He collides with the screen. It falls over with a crash.

The door opens. The silent one is standing in the doorway. He’s carrying a huge knife, too.

Noctis points at him. “He’s an MT,” he says, voice shaking.

Then there’s a buzzing, tingling feeling in his neck that quickly escalates to a blinding white pain and spreads across his skin and through his veins to everywhere else in his body.

And then: nothing.

Chapter Text

Someone’s talking.

It’s the first thing he becomes aware of: a voice. He can’t make out the words. But the voice is there.

The next thing he becomes aware of is pain. His head is throbbing. His back and limbs ache. His heart is pounding.

The third thing: he can’t move. Or, no, not entirely true. He can twitch his fingers. His toes. But the rest of his body is leaden, heavy, and he has no strength in him. He’s lying on something hard, and he’s aware now that he’s cold. He’s cold. But when he tries to open his eyes to see where he is, nothing happens, except that his head aches a little more.

“...says he’s just a kid,” says the voice. It’s nearby – in the same room. It’s not a familiar voice.

Then another voice: “Yeah, a Niff robot kid. I can’t believe they’ve been letting him just wander round the place.”

“Well, maybe not any more,” says the first voice.

Then they fall silent. After that, there’s nothing but the quiet hum of some kind of equipment.

He’s cold.

He tries again to open his eyes. This time, they open the barest amount. The world outside is bright. His sunglasses are gone. He closes his eyes again.

He’s not sure whether he passes out or not. He’s not sure how much time passes. Some of it, at least, he’s awake for. Long minutes of aching pain and cold. Nothing about his bodily situation improves. His thoughts are muddled, skittering along the surface of his mind, barely able to think about much more than how his body feels. He wonders how long it will be cold for. He wonders if it might be cold forever, now.

And then, some amount of time later, he hears another voice. This voice is not in the same room. It’s muffled. He tries to sharpen his hearing, but there’s no response from his systems. So at first he can’t hear what the voice is saying. But it gets louder. The words still aren’t clear, but he realises he recognises the voice: it’s Cor. And he’s angry.

There’s the sudden sound of a door opening. It crashes against something. Then there’s footsteps.

“Sir,” says one of the two voices from before.

There’s no response. The footsteps come suddenly faster, coming towards him until they’re only a metre or two away.

“Six,” Cor says, his voice urgent. “Kid? Kid, can you hear me?”

He wants to respond, but he can’t. He tries to open his eyes again, but nothing happens.

There’s a rattling sound, then Cor’s voice comes again. Now he sounds furious.

“Open this door,” he says.

“Sir,” the other voice says, “our orders–”

“Fuck your orders, I am ordering you to open this fucking door,” Cor says, voice rising.

There’s a brief silence. “Sir–” the voice starts again, sounding uncertain.

“Do not make me come over there and take those keys from you, Crownsguard,” Cor says. His voice is so cold with fury that it makes his insides twist up. Cor’s angry. He’s so angry.

There’s the sound of more footsteps, then, and then a key turning in a lock. A door opens – very close by – and then suddenly someone’s beside him, pressing warm fingers against his neck.

“Thank all the astrals,” Cor mutters. Then suddenly, he’s enveloped in warmth. There’s something warm pressed all along his chest, lines of warmth along his back, lifting him up from the surface he’s lying on, warm breath in his ear. There’s pressure from the lines of warmth on his back – arms, he thinks vaguely, they’re Cor’s arms, but he can’t quite comprehend what they’re doing there – but it’s good, it doesn’t hurt. It feels so warm.

“Shit, you’re freezing,” Cor says in his ear. Then the warmth disappears. He’s lying on the surface again, and the loss of warmth hurts more than his head, more than anything else. He wants to speak, to beg for the warmth to come back. But he can’t speak.

He hears a rustling sound, and a moment later something warm wraps around his shoulders. It’s not like before – it’s fabric, and there’s no pressure, and it’s not as warm as Cor’s arms were – but even so, the relief is almost painful. He makes a noise without even trying – quiet, little more than a puff of air – and feels hands gripping both his shoulders now.

“Hey, you awake?” Cor asks. “Kid. Hey, can you open your eyes?”

He tries. They open – just a crack, but enough to let light in. It’s bright.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He’s visible as a blurry dark shape moving in front of him. “That’s good. That’s good, come on.”

He tries to open his eyes wider, but he can’t. He makes another noise without meaning to. It’s quiet, but it sounds cracked and painful. The blurry shape moves closer.

“OK, all right,” Cor says. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Let’s get you out of here, OK?”

Then there are arms underneath his back and knees, and warmth pressed all along one side of him. He tries to turn towards the warmth, but he succeeds only marginally. His vision is filled with darkness that he identifies as Cor.

Then he’s being lifted. There’s air moving on his face. Footsteps underneath him.

There’s a voice. One of the voices from before. It sounds nervous.

“Sir, the Shield–”

“Tell the Shield I don’t give a shit what he thinks,” Cor says. “Get that door.”

A door opens and then closes behind them. A new voice speaks, sounding surprised.

“Sir, you can’t take him out of here.”

“Try and stop me,” Cor says.

Nobody tries to stop him.

They go through another door. Now Cor’s footsteps are muffled by carpet. And then there’s a voice shouting in the distance.

“Hey,” it shouts. “Hey!”

Running footsteps, muffled by carpet. The sound of someone breathing hard. And then: “What the fuck, Cor?”

It’s Noctis.

“Your highness,” Cor says. He hasn’t stopped walking. His voice sounds cold.

“Hey!” Noctis says. He’s behind them now. He runs to catch up. “Are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Ask Clarus,” Cor says. “I’ve got other things to do.”

Hey,” Noctis says. He’s right in front of them now. “You owe me an explanation. What, you have your own MTs now?”

Cor stops walking, then. “He’s not an MT,” he says. He sounds calm, but his voice is so cold it makes him shiver. “He’s a sick kid. And he’s sicker now because of you. So, Your Highness, are you going to get out of my way so I can get him some help, or are you going to let him die?”

He hears Noctis draw in a sharp breath. Then there’s a shuffling sound. Then Cor starts walking again. He doesn’t hear any other footsteps, so he assumes Noctis isn’t following.

Not long after that, he passes out.

~

For the next little while, everything is confused. Sometimes he’s unconscious – maybe mostly unconscious – but sometimes he hears voices. He recognises some: the one with the white coat; the taller of the two engineers; Cor. He almost never understands the words they’re saying. It feels like he’s standing at the bottom of a deep hole in the ground, listening to voices coming through the walls. Once or twice, he tries to open his eyes, but the light is so bright that he closes them again. He remembers other times, other bright lights, other pain, the memories as confused as the present.

And then, after what he thinks must be a long time, he comes to himself in a place that’s warm and soft and quiet. He’s lying on his side, and there’s a warm weight covering him, and something soft underneath him. There’s light outside his eyelids. He hears the sound of cars from somewhere distant, and the sound of someone breathing slowly nearby. He doesn’t hear anything else, and he doesn’t try to sharpen his hearing. The pain in his head and body is still present, but dulled, a low ache that he can put to the back of his mind.

He tries to move his fingers. He feels them twitch, then move. It’s an effort. He’s still weak, and his body still feels heavy. But his systems are coming back online.

He tries to open his eyes. At first, the light seems bright. But when he has them open a little wider, he realises that it’s dim – it’s a lot dimmer than it was before. He opens them halfway. Everything’s still a little blurry. He turns his head. He’s in the room he sleeps in. The curtains are pulled across the window to close out the light. They glow, a deep green. Somewhere outside, the sun is shining.

Inside, it’s dim and quiet. Cor is sitting at the little table. He’s asleep, arms folded, head on his chest. He breathes slowly. Even though he’s asleep, he looks tired. His shoulders look tense.

He watches Cor for a while. He tries to make sense of all the things that have happened. But his thoughts dissolve like water when he tries to grasp onto them. So after a while he stops trying. He just lies still and watches Cor and thinks about how warm he is.

He’s so warm.

~

He wakes up again. It’s dark now. The door to the room is open, and dim light falls through from the corridor. He sees the silent one leaning in the doorway, looking at his phone. Cor is no longer sitting at the table. There are voices downstairs. He tries to sharpen his hearing. It hurts. But he keeps trying until he can make the voices out.

“...to see if Prompto is all right?” says the first voice. It’s Ignis.

There’s a silence. “He’s been better,” says the second voice. It’s Cor.

He hears the sound of a chair scraping. “I’m sorry to hear that,” Ignis says. “But he’s not in any serious danger, I hope?”

Cor sighs. “Hell if I know,” he says. “No-one knows. No-one gets how the kid works. He’s alive. He was conscious at least once. But what effects it might have had on him...” He trails off.

“Because he’s some sort of machine,” Ignis says.

“He’s not a machine,” Cor says, voice suddenly sharp.

There’s a pause. “I see,” Ignis says. “Then why don’t you explain to me what he is? Noctis seems quite confused about the matter.”

Another pause.

“I don’t know,” Cor says. “No-one knows. He’s got – wires in his brain. But he’s not a machine. He’s human. That’s what MTs are. They’re human – or they were once. He’s just not all the way there yet.”

“But he’s from Niflheim?” Ignis says.

“Yeah,” says Cor.

“I see,” Ignis says. His words seem even more precisely enunciated than usual.

There’s a silence, then. It goes on for some time. There are sounds like cups clinking and someone drinking. Then Cor speaks.

“Did you know Noctis was sneaking in to see him?” he asks.

“I did not,” Ignis says. “Did you?”

“Are you kidding?” Cor asks. “You think I would have let that happen?”

“It seems to me you let rather a lot of inadvisable things happen,” Ignis says. His voice is as neutral and calm as it always is, but there’s something a little sharper underneath it now.

“Excuse me?” Cor says. The sharpness in his voice is not hidden at all.

“Well, let me see,” Ignis says. “You sent that young man to my apartment more than a dozen times without telling me what he was. You also failed to tell me that the collar he wore was so dangerous. When you discovered he was fraternising with Noctis – a fact, by the way, that should have been entirely predictable to you – you removed him without any further explanation and for some inexplicable reason assumed that Noctis would make no effort to find out what had happened. And now you tell me you have no idea what effect the collar that you put on him might have on his system. You’ll excuse me, Marshal, for being somewhat surprised that you have been permitted to be his caretaker.”

There’s a dead, suffocating silence. When Cor speaks, his voice is even.

“That’s what you think, is it?”

“Indeed it is,” Ignis says. “Meaning no disrespect.”

Cor laughs, then. It’s not a happy sound.

“Finish your coffee and get out of my house,” he says. There’s the sound of a chair scraping back and footsteps. Then the footsteps pause. “Don’t be here when I get back.”

There’s no response from Ignis. The footsteps come up the stairs. Cor appears in the doorway.

“He all right?” he asks the silent one.

“Still breathing,” the silent one says. “Hasn’t woken up.”

Cor closes his eyes. He pinches the bridge of his nose. The silent one puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says. “He’ll wake up.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. He leans in the doorway, his face in shadow. He doesn’t try to sharpen his vision, or turn on night mode. He doesn’t want to see what Cor looks like.

Downstairs, there are footsteps. A door opens and closes.

“Was that Ignis?” the silent one asks.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Wanted to know if I knew Prince Noctis was sneaking in.”

The silent one laughs quietly. “What, he thinks you would have let that happen?” he asks. “Kids, right?”

Cor sighs heavily. “I don’t know anything about kids,” he mutters.

Then he comes inside. He stands by the bed for a moment. Then he sits down at the table.

He wants to speak. His throat is dry. He manages to make a noise, but it isn’t a word.

Cor leans forward immediately. He pulls his chair to the bed. “Kid?” he says, voice low. “You awake?”

He swallows around the pain in his throat. “Yes” he whispers.

“Oh, thank the six,” Cor says. He puts a hand over his eyes for a moment, the movement visible in the dim light from the door. “Thank the six,” he says again, almost whispering. Then he leans forward again. “How are you feeling?”

He licks his lips. It has no effect. There’s no saliva in his mouth. “Fine,” he says. It comes out sounding soft and grating, with no tone behind it.

“Shit,” Cor says. He pulls the chair closer. “Here. You need to drink some water.” He puts an arm behind his back and lifts him up. The arm feels solid, warm. Cor moves the pillows until they’re piled up, then lets him back down, so now he’s propped up on them. Even though the pillows are soft, he feels a little cold when Cor takes his arm away.

“Here,” Cor says. He’s holding a glass in his hand. It’s too dark to see what’s in the glass. He tries to take it, but even though he can lift his arm now, his hand goes wide, missing the glass by inches. His arm twitches, thudding against Cor’s arm. He’s about to try again, but Cor puts a hand on his arm and pushes it back down.

“Here,” he says again. He puts the glass to his lips. He tips it up, just a little. Water trickles into his mouth. It feels cool and clean and better than anything he’s felt for a long time. He opens his mouth for more, but Cor tips the glass agonisingly slowly, barely more than one drop at a time.

“You’ve got to take it slow,” he says. “All right?”

Yes. Those are the orders. Take it slow. So he does, even though he wants to take the glass and drink all the water in one swallow. Cor glances back over his shoulder.

“Arcis,” he says, “get more water.”

~

It’s some time before he’s drunk enough that the pain in his mouth and throat is mostly gone. There’s a light on, now – a small one with a shade, so the light in the room is still dim. But now he can see Cor’s face, his expression. He has dark marks under his eyes.

“All right?” he says when he finally takes the glass away.

He swallows. At last, he can swallow. “Yes,” he says. His voice still sounds cracked and papery. But it hurts less to speak now.

Cor nods. He runs a hand over his mouth. He leans forward, elbows on his knees.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey, listen, I’m –” He stops, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m really sorry, kid. I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t understand what Cor is sorry about. He thinks he should be sorry. He let Noctis take the sunglasses away from him, and then he was corrected. It was a bad correction – one of the worst he’s had. The sunglasses are very important. He understands that now.

Cor is staring at him. He wants him to respond. He’s not sure what the appropriate response is.

“The sunglasses,” he says. His mind is still muddled. He meant to say something clearer, but he didn’t.

Cor frowns. “Sunglasses?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He licks his lips. “Noctis took them.”

Cor shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter now,” he says. “I don’t know what happened to them – we can get you some more if you want.”

Cor doesn’t understand. He needs to speak more. It’s difficult – it seems to take a lot of energy.

“Noctis took them,” he says again. “That’s why.”

“Why what?” Cor asks. He’s still frowning. “You’re not making any sense, kid.”

He tries to form the words in his mind that will make sense. He knows what he wants to say. But the words won’t stay in one place. They flicker and dart about. His vision is becoming blurry again.

“Hey,” Cor says. “Hey, no, don’t cry. Are you hurt? How can I help you?”

His throat feels thick. He realises his vision is blurring because of the tears. Cor told him not to cry, so he tries to stop, but he can’t. He tries, but he can’t.

“Hey,” Cor says again. “Hey, no. Come on, kid. Come on.”

Then Cor leans forward and covers his body with his own. He wraps his arms around him and holds him. His heart lurches, and he wonders what Cor is going to do. If this is some kind of correction for crying when he was told not to. But Cor doesn’t do anything. There’s no pain. Cor just holds onto him. There’s pressure from his arms, but it doesn’t hurt. It feels warm and solid. It feels good.

“I’m sorry,” Cor says, close to his ear. “Hey. Shh, hey. I’m sorry.”

Cor put his hand on the back of his head. And somehow now, he’s crying harder, even though he’s trying so hard to stop. But Cor doesn’t seem angry. Cor’s not hurting him. He’s just – holding him. He’s holding him, and he doesn’t know why, but it feels – so warm. So solid.

“It’s all right,” Cor says in his ear. “It’s all right.”

Cor says it’s all right. So he’s not doing anything wrong. Even though Cor said he shouldn’t cry, now he says he’s not doing anything wrong. Cor says it’s all right to cry.

So he cries.

~

The next time he wakes up, it’s daytime. The curtains are covering the window, but there’s enough light to see the room by. The daytime silent one is sitting at the table. He has cards laid out in front of him in long columns. He’s never seen him inside the room before.

He swallows and shifts. His body is easier to move now. The daytime silent one looks up. He raises an eyebrow and nods.

“Need some water?” he asks.

He moves his tongue inside his mouth. It’s very dry. He nods.

The daytime silent one helps him drink some water. He does the same thing Cor did the last time he woke up. But he doesn’t look as tired as Cor did, and he doesn’t talk.

Downstairs, a chime rings out. It’s sharp, abrupt. It makes his heart jump in his chest, and the water spills down his front. The silent one puts the glass down and produces a piece of tissue paper. He presses it to the wet spots on his shirt.

Downstairs, Cor speaks. “Yeah?” he says.

He sharpens his hearing. Another person speaks. She sounds tinny, like she’s on the other end of a phone. “Delivery for Cor Leonis?”

“I’ll come down,” Cor says.

The door opens and closes. He sharpens his hearing more, but Cor moves out of range. So he concentrates on drinking the water until the door opens and closes again.

The silent one stands up.

“I’ll be right back,” he says.

He leaves. He listens to his footsteps on the stairs, listens to him going into the kitchen.

“Kid’s awake,” the silent one says.

“Thanks,” Cor says. There are noises like he’s tearing something.

“What’s that?” the silent one asks.

“No idea,” Cor says. There’s more tearing noises. “It’s – tupperware?”

“Return address says Ignis Scientia,” the silent one says.

There’s a silence.

“Soup,” Cor says.

“Arcis said you and Ignis had a fight,” the silent one says.

A pause. “Yeah,” Cor says. “We did.”

“Huh,” the silent one says.

~

Not long after that, there’s the sound of the microwave. Then clinking of implements for eating. Then Cor’s feet on the stairs. He comes into the room. He’s holding a cup.

“Still awake?” he says. “You should eat something.”

He sits up. He can manage it by himself now. He raises his hand for the cup. It’s shaking, but he grasps the cup in both hands and manages not to spill anything.

“Let me know if you need help,” Cor says. He sits down at the table, glancing at the cards laid out there.

The soup feels very warm through the cup. It’s the green one. Leek-and-potato. It smells different, though. It smells much more pleasant than usual.

He blows on the soup and takes a sip. It’s warm in his mouth. And then – it tastes. It tastes different. It tastes like nothing he’s ever tasted before, like nothing he can even describe. He swallows, frowning, and peers into the cup. It looks the same. But he’s never – he’s never tasted anything like that.

“Something wrong?” Cor asks.

“What is it?” he asks. His voice sounds creaky.

“Soup,” Cor says. “Leek and potato. Ignis says you like that one.”

He does like it. Before it was tolerable, but now – it tastes good. It tastes so good. He takes another mouthful. It’s not the same, he’s sure. He’s had it lots of times, leek-and-potato. It’s never tasted like this.

“It’s not the same,” he says. “It’s not the same one as before.”

Cor frowns. “Is it off?” he says. “Let me taste.” He reaches out and takes the cup. He tastes it. “It’s fine,” he says. “It tastes the same.”

He wants to argue. It doesn’t taste the same. It tastes so much better. Before it tasted like green water, but now – now there’s all sorts of richness in there, tastes of all kinds blended together. He can’t describe it. He’s never tasted anything that good before. He’s never tasted anything he would even put into the same category.

Cor’s still frowning at him. “You don’t like it?” he says. “Is your stomach upset?”

“No,” he says. He takes the cup back and takes a swallow. His stomach’s churning, true – it’s been churning since he first tasted the soup. But it’s not upset. It’s something else. A strange kind of growling, empty feeling that he doesn’t really recognise. It’s a little painful, but as he drinks more soup, the pain starts to die down. So he drinks more. He drinks more, because it tastes so good. And before he knows it, the cup is empty.

Cor’s staring at him. He looks surprised. “Take it easy,” he says. “Don’t make yourself sick.”

He nods. He wishes he had drunk the soup more slowly. Then there would still be some left. The taste is still in his mouth. He hopes it stays for a long time.

Cor takes the cup. He frowns down at it. Then he pulls out his phone. He dials a number and holds the phone up to his ear.

He sharpens his hearing to hear the phone ringing. After four rings, a voice answers. It’s Ignis.

You’ve reached Ignis Scientia. I’m afraid I can’t answer at this moment, but please leave a message.

There’s a beep. Cor sighs.

“Ignis,” he says. “Listen–” He pauses, then shakes his head. “Thanks for the soup,” he says. “I appreciate it. And – the kid does, too.”

He ends the call. Then he stares at his phone for a long moment. Finally, he shakes his head again, then looks up.

“Still hungry?” he asks. “There’s more soup.”

More soup. Yes, he wants more soup. He nods.

“Right,” Cor says. He stands up. But before he leaves, he reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder. He grips gently. It feels warm.

“I’m really glad you’re OK, kid,” he says.

And then he’s gone.

Chapter Text

Later that day, Cor receives a phone call.

He knows about it because he’s awake. He’s been asleep, but now he’s awake – at least partly. He’s lying in the bed, not really thinking about anything except how warm and comfortable he is. His eyes are half open, and the light coming through the curtains makes patterns on the ceiling that he watches without paying much attention. Cor wasn’t here when he woke up, but he can hear him typing in the kitchen. The door’s closed, but he can hear the silent one breathing outside it.

Then Cor’s phone rings.

Cor answers it on the third ring. “Clarus,” he says. He bites off the end of the word.

“How is the boy?” It’s the one from the phone. He sharpens his hearing a little more to hear the words past the hum of the machinery in the kitchen. It doesn’t hurt as much as it did before: his systems are regaining function.

“Recovering,” Cor says. “If you’re calling to chew me out, don’t bother. I’ll take any sanctions you deem necessary, but I am never going to apologise for getting that kid out of the cell your idiot soldiers threw him in. When he was unconscious and sick half to death, Clarus, for fuck’s sake.”

There’s a silence. “Have you finished?” the one from the phone asks.

“Not hardly,” Cor says. He sounds angry. “But I don’t have the time, and neither do you. So. Why are you calling?”

“Firstly,” the one from the phone says, “to apologise. I was not aware that the boy’s condition was so serious, or I would not have permitted him to be kept in the prison block. I have also been informed in no uncertain terms by the prince that the boy did nothing at all to threaten him or to encourage his – visits. It seems there have been a series of unfortunate misunderstandings, coupled with some less-than-ideal behaviour on the part of His Highness.”

A pause. “Huh,” Cor says. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“What were you expecting?” the one from the phone asks.

“Pretty much for you to try and rip my head off through the phone,” Cor says. “I was all geared up to rip yours off right back.”

“Well, I’m glad I avoided that, my friend,” the one from the phone says, with a quiet laugh. “Though if you’d spoken to me yesterday, it probably would have gone that way.”

“You were pissed,” Cor says.

The one from the phone sighs. “This situation,” he says. “It’s becoming untenable. We need to rethink our approach and regain control. Soon.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. “No arguments here.”

“Good,” the one from the phone says. “I’ve scheduled a meeting with the king tomorrow morning.”

“I don’t know if the kid’s going to be up and about by then,” Cor says.

“If you need to leave him behind, so be it,” the one from the phone says. “His presence is not required.”

A pause. “Listen, Clarus – I’m not leaving him anywhere for a while. OK?”

A longer pause. “I understand you’ve become attached to the boy,” the one from the phone says, “but your duty–”

“My duty can cope with a conference call, if necessary,” Cor says. “I’m saying no, Clarus. I hope you get that.”

Then comes the longest pause of them all. He thinks for a moment that the call’s ended. But then the one from the phone speaks.

“I’ll call you again tomorrow,” he says, sounding strained. “We’ll take stock of the situation.”

“You do that,” Cor says.

Then the call really does end. He hears Cor make a sort of growling sound. It may contain words, but if so, he can’t make them out. Then there’s a quiet thud. Then silence.

He lies on his back, staring at the ceiling. He’s fully awake now. He’s trying to make sense of what he heard. His thoughts are sluggish. The first part of the conversation made no sense to him at all, except that Cor was angry and the one from the phone was sorry for something he’d done. The second part – Cor said he wasn’t leaving him. Him, they were talking about him. And Cor said he wouldn’t leave him.

Why?

Maybe Cor doesn’t trust him. He’s always followed orders when Cor’s been away, but then – but then he let Noctis take off his sunglasses, and after that he was corrected. So maybe now Cor doesn’t trust him.

But Cor’s downstairs. He’s not here, in the room with him. He could do something now, and Cor wouldn’t know. He’s not sure what he could do – Cor’s given him so few orders, and he doesn’t even have the sunglasses any more – but he could do something, he’s sure. And Cor wouldn’t know. So if Cor doesn’t trust him, why isn’t he here?

And then: the one from the phone said you’ve become attached to the boy. He’s not sure exactly what it means. But he thinks about Cor, the night before. About how Cor said it was all right for him to cry, and then – how Cor held him. He doesn’t understand why Cor held him, but it felt so warm. Even thinking about it makes him feel warm. It makes him feel a sort of ache in his chest, and he wishes Cor was here. Maybe if Cor was here, he would hold him again.

Why does he want Cor to hold him again?

You’ve become attached to the boy. That was what the one from the phone said. And Cor said he wouldn’t leave him.

He prods at the pieces of information, tries to connect them together. He feels like the answer is there, it’s obvious, but it’s just out of his reach. He thinks of all the scenarios he can, but none of them quite fits with all that’s been said, all that’s been done.

He lets out a sigh of frustration, then clamps his hand over his mouth, hoping that the silent one didn’t hear. His self-control has suffered from the correction. He cried last night, and now he’s allowing feelings to cloud his thoughts, to make themselves known outside his head. It’s not appropriate. He knows better. He has direct experience of the consequences for behaviour like this.

But last night, Cor said it was all right to cry.

He closes his eyes. Nothing makes sense. Nothing at all makes sense. He wants to go downstairs and demand an instruction manual from Cor. Surely it’s not appropriate for him to spend this long in a new facility without an instruction manual?

Cor said he wasn’t in a facility, he reminds himself. And he knows it must be true. Sometimes he goes outside. Sometimes he sees the sun. Sometimes he listens to music. But there are no exercises. There are no simulations, aside from Noctis and his games. There are no tests. There are people everywhere, and no other MT units.

But then why is he here? Why is he here?

He doesn’t know. No matter how much he thinks about it, he doesn’t know.

Eventually, he gives up and goes back to sleep.

~

He’s woken by the sound of a chime. It takes a few moments for his systems to come fully online, and before they do, he hears Cor says, “Yeah, come up.” He tries to sharpen his hearing to hear the other half of whatever conversation it is, but it’s too late, and his hearing is sluggish, only responding to his command after a few seconds.

There’s a knock at the door downstairs. He hears it open.

“I got your message,” says a voice. It’s Ignis.

“Come in,” Cor says.

Footsteps. The sound of clinking in the kitchen. A chair being scraped back.

Silence.

“Is there a reason you wanted me to come here, or did you just want to stare at me?” Ignis says.

“Wow,” Cor says. “You’re a real smartass sometimes.”

“And you are stalling,” Ignis replies.

There’s a sound like a cup being put down on a table. Cor sighs.

“Listen,” he says. Then he doesn’t say anything else.

“I’m listening,” says Ignis after a moment.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cor says. “Listen – I know we’re not on the same page about the kid. I know you’re pissed at me about what happened. I’m sure you know I’m pissed at you about what you said. Fuck, I’m pissed at everyone right now. But – I need help.” He sighs again. “Ignis, I’m drowning here. I don’t know what I’m doing. You know the kid, and – you know kids. You look after Noctis.” He pauses. “I really need some help.”

There’s a silence. The sound of someone drinking. When Ignis speaks, his voice is much warmer than it was before.

“I see,” he says. “It’s true your situation does seem quite – complicated.”

“You’re telling me,” Cor says. “I don’t even know what the fuck the kid is. I never meant this to be a permanent thing, Ignis. I just took him in for a couple of nights because – I don’t know, the way he looked at me. He looked so – I couldn’t just throw him in a fucking cell. You get that.”

“But now it’s more than a couple of nights,” Ignis says.

A long pause. “Yeah,” Cor says. “Now it’s more.”

“And you say you don’t know what he is,” Ignis says. “But you told me he was human. You sounded quite sure.”

“Yeah, he’s human,” Cor says. “I mean – they’ve done some things to him. He’s – off. You’ve seen that. But he’s human. I may not be sure of a lot of things, but I know that much.”

There’s the sound of drinking again. “Hm,” Ignis says. “The rest was untrue, but you were serious about wanting him to be rehabilitated.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. “And he was better. I mean, when he was spending every day with you. He was getting better, he seemed – more alive.”

“Because of Noctis,” Ignis says.

There’s a silence. “You think that’s what it was?”

“I noticed it, too,” Ignis says. “He became much more animated once he and Noctis made friends. Still not very animated, you understand, but it’s all relative, of course.”

Cor makes a thoughtful noise. “He went downhill fast after I separated them, but then – then he suddenly started to seem happier a few days ago.”

“Because Noctis started sneaking in to see him,” Ignis says.

Cor draws in a breath. “Shit,” he mutters.

“Indeed,” Ignis says. He’s silent for a moment, but then he speaks again. “You asked me to help because you think I know how to deal with young teenagers. I’m not sure how much help I can be, as my only experience is with Noctis. But that experience has taught me that – it’s very important for boys his age to have friends. That loneliness is a difficult fate indeed.”

“Does Noctis have many friends?” Cor asks.

Ignis doesn’t answer straight away.

“He has Prompto,” he says.

~

He wants to keep listening, but he’s too tired. His hearing starts fading in and out, and he brings it back down to normal levels to avoid a system failure. His mind is tired, too. Thoughts keep chasing themselves round and round. He already knows Cor thinks he’s human. He’s said it, over and over again. He doesn’t really understand why Cor thinks he’s human, and sometimes he thinks he should ask Cor about it, make it clear to him. But he’s already made it clear. He told Cor on the first day that he stayed in this house that he was an MT unit. But Cor still insists he’s human. He wonders if Cor means something different when he says human. But the idea that, along with all the many, many words he doesn’t know, the words he does know might have meanings he’s not aware of makes him feel dizzy with uncertainty. So he stops thinking about it.

He can still hear the murmur of voices downstairs. Then there’s the sound of people moving around, eating implements clinking. He drifts in and out of sleep. He becomes aware of footsteps on the stairs and tries to wake himself up properly, looking at the door so he’ll see when Cor comes in.

But it’s Ignis who comes in.

“Hello,” he says. He’s carrying a tray. He pauses in his steps when he meets his eyes, and his face seems to lose a little colour. But then he straightens his shoulders and continues, putting the tray down on the little table. “Cor said you were feeling better?”

He opens his mouth. His throat feels dry. “Ignis,” he says. It’s been days and days since he’s seen Ignis.

“I suppose you’re surprised to see me,” Ignis says. He picks up the glass of water from the table by the bed and holds it out. “I do leave my quarters occasionally, you know.”

Ignis smiles. He takes the water and drinks. He drinks it fast. Soon the whole glass is gone.

“Well,” Ignis says, looking at the empty glass, “it’s a good thing I brought you some orange juice.”

He picks up a jug from the tray. It’s clear glass, and inside it is orange liquid. He’s had it before, once. It tasted like battery acid and he had a great deal of difficulty swallowing it. So now he watches as Ignis pours it into his glass and feels his heart sinking in his chest.

Ignis holds the glass out. He takes it. His hand shakes a little, but he doesn’t spill any. He stares at it. It looks ugly, thick and orange and bright. He puts the glass to his lips and takes a sip.

It tastes – bright. There is an acidic tang to it, but it’s different, it’s nothing like battery acid. It tastes bright, and clear. He pulls the glass away from his mouth and stares at it. It smells pleasant, too – fresh and light.

“Something wrong?” Ignis asks. Then his face changes. “Oh – I remember, you don’t like it. How remiss of me. Here, give it to me.”

Ignis reaches out to take the glass back. And he–

And he–

He puts the glass to his lips and swallows as much of it as he can. He does it before he even realises what he’s doing. Before he can stop himself. Two-thirds of the glass is gone before he comes to his senses and pulls it away. He stares at it, tasting the brightness in his mouth.

Ignis told him to give it to him. But he didn’t.

But he didn’t.

His hand starts to shake. The liquid sloshes in the bottom of the glass, the level of it too low now to spill. Too low, because he drank most of it. He drank it after Ignis told him to give it back.

His fingers slip. Ignis leans forward and seizes the glass, pulling it from his hand before it can fall. “Prompto?” he says.

He starts. His hearing’s starting to fade again, replaced by a loud ringing. Ignis puts the glass down on the table and frowns at him. Ignis reaches out towards him and–

–he scrambles backwards across the bed. He finds himself pressed into the corner, wedged between the wall and the thick slab of wood at the end of the bed. His breathing is functioning incorrectly – too fast and too shallow. He sees Ignis in front of him and every part of him flinches.

And then Ignis has moved. Somehow, he’s moved from the chair to the bed. He’s kneeling on the bed. He’s holding him by the arms. It doesn’t hurt. It feels warm. Ignis isn’t correcting him. He’s just kneeling on the bed, holding his arms. He’s talking. But he can’t hear what he’s saying. The ringing sound in his ears is too loud.

Then Ignis takes his hand. He takes it and presses it against his own chest, palm flat. He can feel Ignis’ heart beating. He can feel him breathing. He’s breathing deeply, slowly. He feels warm.

Ignis points at him. Then he points at his own chest. He breathes slowly.

And he understands: Ignis wants him to breathe slowly, too. He wants to breathe slowly – he knows his breathing is malfunctioning, and that if it continues much longer he’ll pass out. He’s been trying. But now – somehow the feeling of Ignis breathing under his hand, the warmth against his palm, gives him something to focus on. He focuses. When Ignis breathes in, he breathes in. When Ignis breathes out, he breathes out. He focuses on that. Nothing else.

It takes a little while, but the ringing in his ears dies down.

“There,” Ignis says. It’s the first thing he’s been able to hear him say, even though his mouth has been moving all the time. “Good.”

Ignis sits back on the bed. He doesn’t let go of his arms. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says.

He swallows. Ignis isn’t angry. Ignis is holding his arms, but it doesn’t hurt. It feels warm. He disobeyed a direct order, and Ignis isn’t angry.

He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand.

Ignis lets go of his arms. He frowns at him. But he doesn’t look angry. He just looks thoughtful.

“Why don’t you tell me what that was about?” he asks.

He shakes his head. He doesn’t know what it was about. He doesn’t know why Ignis isn’t angry. He doesn’t want Ignis to be angry, but he wants to know why. He wants to know why. Why will no-one give him proper instructions? How is he supposed to know what’s appropriate?

Ignis tilts his head on one side. “You’re angry with me,” he says. “I’m afraid I don’t know what I did wrong.”

His heart lurches in his chest. No. He’s not angry. No, he’s not angry. Anger is not part of his functions. MT units don’t get angry. He’s not angry.

He swallows. “I’m not angry,” he says. His voice sounds hoarse. He realises he’s arguing with Ignis. No, no. He’s not arguing. Ignis hasn’t understood. He’s not angry. MT units don’t get angry.

“I see,” Ignis says. “Well, I’m glad to hear it. I imagine it must be rather painful to talk about, but please, Prompto, I must ask that you explain to me what caused that attack. I would very much like to avoid a similar scene in future.”

“Attack?” he asks. He didn’t see an attack. He didn’t hear anything.

Ignis stares at him. Then he adjusts the cuffs of his jacket.

“You were frightened,” he says, still looking at his cuffs. “Please tell me what frightened you.”

He feels himself start to shake again. He doesn’t understand why Ignis wants him to do this. Ignis must already know. But Ignis gave him an order. He can’t disobey a direct order. Not again.

“I thought you would be angry,” he says. It comes out in a whisper. Ignis should have been angry. But he’s not angry.

Ignis pauses in his inspection of his cuffs. He frowns and looks at him sideways.

“What did you think I would be angry about?” he asks.

He swallows. Ignis is going to make him recite his dereliction of duty. Perhaps he wants to prove that he knew he was doing wrong. “Because you told me to give you the glass,” he says. “But I drank it instead.” The bright taste is long gone from his mouth, now. He wonders what he was thinking, to risk so much for something so fleeting.

Now Ignis turns to look at him. There’s an expression of surprise on his face. “The orange juice?” he asks.

He nods. His hands are shaking. His shoulders. Ignis puts his hands on his arms again and he thinks: now. Now Ignis will take him to be corrected.

But Ignis’ hands don’t tighten on his arms. They’re just there, holding him steady. “You were afraid because I told you to give me the glass of orange juice, but you didn’t?” he asks.

“Yes,” he whispers.

Ignis nods. “What did you think I was going to do to you?” he asks. He sounds calm. Neutral. Not angry.

He closes his eyes. Behind them, there are bright lights. Metal against his tongue. A cold, hard surface under his back.

He opens his eyes again. Here, in this room, there’s a soft bed, and dim green light, and the warmth of Ignis’ hands on his arms.

“I thought you would correct me,” he says. His voice cracks halfway through. Why hasn’t Ignis corrected him?

“I see,” Ignis says. He sits back. “Prompto–” he says, but then he doesn’t continue. He takes one hand off his arm to adjust his glasses. He’s frowning at something. Then his attention comes back to him. “That wasn’t an order,” he says. “When I asked you to give the glass back, it wasn’t an order.”

He stares at him. “Yes, it was,” he says, before he can stop himself. Give it to me, that was what Ignis said. That’s an order. It’s clear. It’s one of the only clear things that he’s heard for a long time.

Ignis nods. “This is rather difficult,” he says. “I think I understand – a little more, at least. I misspoke. I did not intend for it to sound like an order, though I understand now why you thought it was one. It was my fault.”

He doesn’t understand. Of all the things he hasn’t understood, this is one of the strangest. How can an order not be an order? He feels like the floor’s shifting under him.

“I thought you didn’t like the orange juice,” Ignis says. “I wanted you to give it back to me only because I thought you didn’t like it. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to drink it. But it was a request, not an order. Do you understand?”

He takes a deep breath. “Yes,” he says. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand anything at all. But he can’t say that. He’s already disobeyed a direct order and then tried to escape from correction. He can’t do anything else wrong today.

Ignis watches him. His mouth is turned down at the corners. “Good,” he says at last. “Let’s get you out of that corner.”

Ignis moves back across the bed. He keeps a hand on his arm, and pulls gently. He follows. Ignis pulls him back to the edge of the bed.

“You should–” Ignis starts, and then stops. He stands still, staring down at him, frowning. Then he opens his mouth again.

“Would you like to eat something?” he asks. “If you would prefer not to, please speak up.”

He looks at the tray. His stomach feels strange again. It’s – not churning. That’s not quite right. It feels hollow. There’s a sort of grinding in it. He felt that way earlier, when Cor gave him the soup, and then he felt better.

“Yes,” he says.

Ignis’ mouth becomes less tight. “Good,” he says. “I made something new for you.”

He holds out a cup. The liquid inside is red. He hasn’t had red before.

He takes the cup. The smell makes his stomach gurgle. It’s loud enough that he’s sure Ignis must have heard it. But Ignis only smiles at him. So he drinks a mouthful.

It’s good. It tastes good. Different from the leek-and-potato, but with the same warmth and consistency, the same rich blend of different tastes. It tastes very different from the orange juice. That’s three things now, and they’ve all tasted different. All different, but all good. He doesn’t understand why suddenly everything tastes so – so strong. And so good.

He’s swallowed half the cup before he realises it. He pauses, looking at Ignis. But Ignis seems pleased. So he drinks the rest. He tries to slow down this time, so that he’ll have the taste in his mouth for longer. But it’s still gone too fast.

Ignis is sitting back in his chair, now. He looks very pleased. “Well!” he says. “I’m glad to see you’ve found your appetite at last.”

He wants to ask Ignis how he managed to make this soup taste so different from the leek-and-potato. And why the orange juice is different again. And why they taste different now from how they tasted before. He’s seen Ignis cooking, lots of times, but he’s never really understood why the preparations for food are so complex. But now – now, if different foods all taste so different – he understands why someone would spend such a long time making one food instead of another food. He wants to know how cooking works.

“Thank you,” he says, and holds out the cup.

Ignis takes it.

“Now,” he says. He pulls out a notebook and opens it, holding a pen poised over it. “Please tell me, which do you like best: the tomato or the leek and potato?”

He swallows. The taste is still in his mouth. He doesn’t know what tomato means, but he knows what leek-and-potato means, and he thinks he can deduce the meaning of the question Ignis is asking: which is better, the red soup or the leek-and-potato? But neither of them is better. They’re different. They’re both – they’re both better than anything he’s tasted before.

“I like them both,” he says at last.

Ignis nods. He doesn’t look angry that he couldn’t answer the question. He looks pleased.

“Excellent,” he says, writing something down in his notebook. “Now, about that orange juice.”

~

Eventually, he drinks as much orange juice as he can fit into his stomach, and Ignis leaves. He’s tired again, exhausted, heart still beating too fast, although the soup has helped a lot. He lies down on the bed and stares at the ceiling, thinking about Ignis. About how strange Ignis is.

He doesn’t think about it for long. There are voices in the kitchen, and he stops thinking and sharpens his hearing to listen.

“You were up there a long time,” Cor says.

“We had a lot of catching up to do,” Ignis says. There’s a sound that he thinks is Ignis putting the tray down on the table. “I must say, his eyes are – very disconcerting.”

“You get used to it,” Cor says. “He eat?”

“He did,” Ignis says. “And he even seemed to enjoy it, for once.” There’s a brief pause, then Ignis says, “Marshal, I need to tell you something–”

Then there’s a pain in his head, and a buzzing sound, and then his hearing shuts down.

He puts his hands to his ears. He tries to restart the process, but nothing happens. Everything is silent. He swallows, but he can’t hear it. He closes his eyes. He remembers his instructions. Stay calm. Count to one thousand. Restart the process. Repeat. If five repeats are unsuccessful, report the defect for modification.

He counts to one thousand. He restarts the process.

His hearing comes back.

He sags against the bed, suddenly feeling weak. He can hear again: the quiet hum of the cars. The muffled sound of voices in the kitchen. He can’t hear the silent one breathing outside the door. But he doesn’t sharpen his hearing. He keeps it low, as low as it will go.

He doesn’t fall asleep for a long time.

~

That night, Cor brings him more soup. It’s the red soup again. It tastes just as good as it did before.

Cor watches him drink it. He doesn’t say anything until he’s finished. Then he takes the cup away.

“How’re you feeling, kid?” he asks.

“Fine,” he says. It’s true: he still feels weak, but most of the pain is gone. His hearing’s functioning, although he hasn’t tried to sharpen it since it malfunctioned. He knows he should tell Cor about the defect, but he doesn’t.

Cor nods. “I’ve got some things I gotta do tomorrow,” he says. “I was thinking – maybe you might like to spend some time with Ignis? If you’re feeling up to it.”

He sits up a little. He feels a warm feeling in his chest. He thought that he wasn’t permitted to spend time with Ignis any more, but now – he’s seen him today and maybe he’ll also see him tomorrow. He wants to ask if Noctis will be there, too, but he doesn’t. He remembers last time Noctis saw him he behaved so poorly that he was corrected. He doesn’t think Noctis will want to see him again.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor smiles, then. “Good,” he says. “That’s great. I’m glad you like him.”

He nods. He feels a spark of warmth in his chest. He’s done the right thing. Cor is pleased with him.

“Hey,” Cor says. He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Listen, Ignis said–” He stops and shakes his head. “I’m not great at this,” he says. “OK? I’m trying to get better. And – you’re doing a great job, kid, all right? I know this is – really confusing for you. And I guess we’ve got a lot of shit we need to talk about. But right now – I haven’t said it before, because I didn’t realise – ah, shit.” He scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m just trying to – you’re doing good, OK? You’re doing great. So – don’t be scared, all right?”

He swallows. The warmth in his chest grows from a spark into a quiet flame. “Yes,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He reaches out and grips his shoulder. “We’re gonna figure this out, you and me,” he says. “OK?”

He feels the warmth of Cor’s hand on his shoulder. It feels solid. Like if Cor wanted to keep it there, nothing would be able to move it.

“Yes,” he says.

Chapter 15

Notes:

Well, first of all, I must announce that the very wonderful brilcrist has drawn the most heartbreakingly beautiful fanart for this fic. You should go there and look at it! And be prepared to cry many tears over poor lost puppy Prompto!

Second of all, hi to all the new people who came in from seeing the fanart! I am overwhelmed by all your lovely comments, and I promise I will answer them as soon as I can :D (And hi to all the people who've been here for a while, you guys are all awesome as well!)

Third of all, especial thanks to LadyRhin, who inspired part of this chapter ;)

Chapter Text

He wakes up when he hears someone shout. He’s asleep at first, then he’s awake. He’s asleep when the shout happens, and when he wakes up, he knows it happened, but he doesn’t know what it sounded like. His heart is beating fast. He sits up. He wonders what he should do. Did Cor hear the shout? Should he go and tell Cor? Or – the silent one must have heard it. The silent one is awake all night. So if someone needs to tell Cor, the silent one will do it.

Then he hears a door open, and footsteps. He hears harsh breathing.

“Hey – you OK?” the silent one says outside the door. He doesn’t hear a response, though. Then, the door opens.

Cor stands in the doorway. He’s the one who’s breathing harshly. He stares at him for a long moment. Then he crosses to the bed, leans down and holds him, like he did before, putting his arms all the way round him.

He doesn’t understand what’s happening. His heart’s thumping loudly enough that he can hear it in his ears. But Cor’s arms are warm around him. Cor feels warm and solid, even though his breath is loud and too heavy. Cor’s heart is beating fast as well, he realises.

Then Cor stands back. He leaves one hand one his shoulder. He passes the other over his face.

“OK,” he says. His voice sounds hoarse. “All right.”

He swallows. He wonders what Cor wants. Whether he wants him to do anything.

“You OK, kid?” Cor asks.

He nods. “Yes,” he says. He sees that the silent one is standing in the doorway, watching.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Yeah. You’re OK.” He squeezes his shoulder. “Get some sleep.”

Cor lets go of his shoulder. He lies down. He still doesn’t understand why Cor is here. He was asleep. He was asleep and then he woke up and Cor came to tell him to go back to sleep. Did Cor know he’d woken up?

He closes his eyes. He tries to sleep. Those are his orders: get some sleep. It’s not easy. Cor’s still standing by the bed. Watching him. Waiting for him to follow orders. It makes him feel very awake.

He concentrates on breathing slowly. He counts to four with each inhale and then four again with each exhale. He wonders if maybe he should shut down a few processes to help him get to sleep. Even though he’s breathing slowly, his heart’s still beating fast. Every time it starts to slow a little, his mind reminds him that Cor’s still watching him, waiting, and it speeds up again with an unpleasant jolt. He’s beginning to feel the stirrings of panic in his stomach when he feels the faintest brush of a hand on his forehead, and Cor sighs heavily.

“Shit,” he mutters.

Then he leaves the room.

The door closes behind Cor. He feels it like a crushing weight has been lifted from his chest. He realises that his hands are clenched under the cover. He spreads out his fingers. He counts. He breathes.

“You OK, sir?” the silent one says outside the door. He speaks in a low voice, but he hears it anyway. His hearing is working better now.

“Fine,” Cor says.

There’s a pause. “Permission to speak freely?” says the silent one.

Cor grunts. “Granted,” he says.

“Respectfully, sir, you look like shit,” the silent one says. “Let me make you a hot drink.”

There’s a much longer pause. Then Cor sighs.

“I didn’t mean that freely, Arcis,” he says.

Then there’s the sound of footsteps. Two sets, going downstairs. Cor and the silent one.

He sharpens his hearing a little. He knows he’s supposed to be getting some sleep, but he hopes that Cor might talk to the silent one about his orders and why he was holding him. He counts his breaths at the same time. He’s trying to go to sleep. His heart is just still beating too fast.

He hears the clinking of food implements in the kitchen. A quiet rushing sound that builds up until it’s loud, then suddenly stops with a click. Water pouring. A chair scraping.

“My kid brother gets nightmares sometimes,” the silent one says. “Has since he was little. Mom always gives him this.”

“I’m not a kid,” Cor says.

The silent one laughs. “Believe me, sir, no arguments here.”

Silence. The sound of someone drinking.

“It’s good,” Cor says. He sounds a little surprised.

“Mom knows her shit,” the silent one says.

More silence.

“You dreamed about the kid, huh?” the silent one says.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Cor says.

“Understood,” the silent one says.

More silence.

“That bracelet,” Cor says. “The one that measures his heart rate. It’s supposed to send me an alarm if it gets too low.”

“Yeah,” the silent one says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. A pause. “When Juvenis shocked him, it shorted the bracelet out. It sent me a message that said his heart had stopped.”

Another pause.

“Shit,” the silent one says. His voice is quiet.

“I didn’t know what had happened,” Cor says. “And when I saw him in that cell, looking like that – I didn’t know until I checked his pulse.”

The silent one makes a noise like he’s blowing out his breath. “He’s OK, though,” he says. “He’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. He sighs. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this shit.”

“Me neither,” the silent one says. “It’s kind of weird, to be honest.”

Cor laughs, then, like he’s surprised. There’s the sound of someone drinking something. Then a chair scraping.

“Thanks for the tea,” Cor says. “Back to your post.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says.

Then there are footsteps on the stairs again. His heart speeds up, and he tries to go to sleep as quickly as possible in case Cor comes in and sees he hasn’t followed orders. But one set of footsteps stops outside his door, and the other goes into the room where Cor sleeps.

He lies still, waiting to see if anyone will come in. But no-one does. After a while, he touches his wrist to see if the strap that measures his heartbeat is still there.

It isn’t.

~

The next day, they go to the Citadel. It’s the first time he’s gone since he was corrected. They drive the same route they always drive. Cor stops at the building with the bright images and fetches some bottles of the red drink. He looks into the bag when Cor puts it on his lap. Each bottle says PROMPTO! on the side.

It feels familiar.

Cor holds his arm as they walk along the corridor. The grip doesn’t hurt. It’s firm, but not tight. It feels warm. Cor doesn’t walk too fast. He looks angry, but he doesn’t squeeze his arm too tight.

There’s a voice coming from round the corner. It’s loud – shouting. And then, all of a sudden, Noctis appears. He’s walking fast, shoulders hunched. He looks angry. When he sees them, he stops. His eyes widen. Cor stops, too. His grip on his arm tightens.

“Hey,” Noctis says. Then he starts walking again, more slowly, like he’s not sure which direction he wants to go in. He stops a few paces in front of them. “You’re OK,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. His stomach starts churning a little. Last time he saw Noctis, he failed to follow orders so badly that he was corrected. And Noctis was angry with him. Noctis doesn’t look angry now. But he isn’t sure. He isn’t sure.

Then a new person comes round the corner. The new person is very tall, with broad shoulders. He has images drawn on his arms. He looks furious.

Noct, don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you–” the one with the images says. Then he stops short. He frowns at Cor, then at him. Then he takes another step forward.

“Wait, is this–?” he starts.

“It’s Prompto,” Noctis says. He hasn’t looked at the one with the images. He’s only looked at him, a little sideways.

The one with images stares at him for a long moment, frowning deeply. Then he puts an arm round Noctis’ shoulders.

“We’re late,” he says. “Come on, princess.”

Then he starts walking. He’s significantly taller and broader than Noctis, and the force of him walking, his arm around Noctis’ shoulders, seems to simply pulls Noctis along.

“Hey, wait,” Noctis says. But the one with the images doesn’t wait.

“You’re the one who’s late, I’m the one who’ll get it in the neck,” he says. “Keep moving.”

They’ve passed them now, carrying on down the corridor. He turns to watch them go. Noctis looks back at him.

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you later,” he calls.

Then the one with the images pulls him round the corner, and he’s gone.

Cor’s hand loosens on his arm.

“We gotta keep moving too, kid,” he says.

So they do.

~

Cor takes him to see Ignis. It’s been days and days since he’s been to Ignis’ rooms. When they get out of the elevator, he recognises the corridor immediately. His stomach’s been unsettled since he saw Noctis, but now it starts to feel a little better. They walk along the corridor, the silent one behind them, and Cor knocks on Ignis’ door.

“Come in,” Ignis calls from inside. Cor leads him inside. Ignis is there. He’s sitting at the table holding a cup. He smiles. “Good morning,” he says. “I’m glad to see you up and about.”

“Hi,” he says. Cor gestures, and he sits down in a chair at the table. Cor lets go of his arm. It’s the first time he’s let it go since they got out of the car.

“You OK with him for an hour?” Cor asks.

Ignis nods. “Of course,” he says.

“Prince Noctis knows not to come here?” Cor asks.

“Ah,” Ignis says. “More like Gladio has instructions to keep him away.”

Cor nods. “Good,” he says. He turns to him. “You OK to stay here with Ignis, kid? I won’t be too long.”

“Yes,” he says. He feels a sort of loosening in his arms, his shoulders. It feels familiar, here with Ignis. He thought he wouldn’t be permitted to come here again.

“All right,” Cor says. He stands there for another moment or two, not saying anything.

“I’ll call you immediately if anything happens,” Ignis says.

“Yeah – thanks,” Cor says. He walks away, and a moment later the door closes behind him.

Ignis looks at him across the table. “Well,” he says. “Here we are again.”

“Yes,” he says. Outside, water is falling from the sky. It patters against the window. He still doesn’t know why the water falls, but whenever it does, it makes that noise. It makes him feel calm, somehow.

“Now that I know a little more about you, perhaps we could be reintroduced,” Ignis says. “My name is Ignis.”

“Yes,” he says. He knows Ignis’ name.

Ignis waits. He wonders what else he should say. “I know,” he says. “Cor told me your name before.”

“Indeed,” Ignis says. “But he didn’t tell me your name.”

He frowns. Ignis hasn’t understood. “I’m an MT unit,” he says. “MT units don’t have names.”

Ignis frowns, now. “They must have called you something,” he says, “wherever you were before you came here.”

He nods. “Zero five nine five–” he trails off. “But I forgot the other numbers.”

Ignis sits back in his chair. He has a strange expression on his face.

“You don’t have a name,” he says.

“No,” he says. The closest thing he has is what Noctis calls him: Prompto. But now Ignis looks strange, and he starts thinking that maybe Ignis won’t want to call him Prompto any more. The thought creates a quiet ache in his chest.

“Hasn’t Cor given you a name?” Ignis asks. He looks strange still.

“No,” he says, but then he remembers the paper that Cor gave him, with names written on it. He folded it up and put it in his pocket, and he’s carefully transferred it from pocket to pocket whenever Cor tells him to change clothes. He reaches into his pocket now and pulls it out. He opens it up and smoothes it on the table. “He said I should look at the ones on here,” he says. The names were written in pencil and now many of them are smudged. He hopes Cor won’t be angry with him for not taking better care of the paper.

Ignis reaches out and takes the paper. He reads down the list. “Did you like any of them?” he asks.

He doesn’t feel anything about any of them. They’re just words. “They’re all good,” he says.

Ignis holds the paper and stares at him. Then he puts the paper down and picks up his cup.

“I’ll talk to Cor about it,” he says. “Now, I need to start making His Highness’s dinner. Would you like something to read?”

~

Ignis brings him the book, Lucis by Night Laus Venustas. He hasn’t looked at it since last time he was here. Ignis turns up the music, and he looks at the images. It feels familiar. His stomach settles, and his shoulders feel loose and comfortable. Ignis starts to cook. He wonders what Ignis is cooking. How does the cooking procedure work? How does Ignis know which foods to cook and what they will turn into? He supposes to make red soup you need red foods and to make green soup you need green foods, but beyond that, he has no understanding of the process. So he stops looking at the images and starts watching Ignis instead.

Ignis is stirring something in a vessel which sits on top of the stove. He concentrates for a moment, and remembers the word saucepan. He pours some white liquid into the saucepan and continues to stir it. How did he know to pour the liquid in? What liquid is it? What effect will it have on the end result?

He wonders what Ignis is making. Ignis makes lots of things. Soup and broth for him, but also other foods for Cor and Noctis. They come in all shapes and sizes and colours, liquids and solids. He wonders if they all taste different from each other.

Ignis glances at him. He smiles, then looks back to his saucepan. Then he glances back again.

“Are you all right?” he asks. “Do you need something?”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t need anything. It’s warm, here, and there’s music playing, and he can watch Ignis cooking. He doesn’t need anything.

Ignis is still looking at him, though. “Would you like to help me cook?” he asks.

He sits up. “Yes,” he says. Yes, he wants to learn how cooking works. Why foods taste different.

“Excellent,” Ignis says. He thinks for a moment. “Well, we will certainly need to fry some onions,” he says. “They’re in the cupboard there.” He points.

He gets up. He goes to the cupboard and opens it. It’s a tall cupboard with shelves inside. The shelves are full of objects. Some of them he recognises as foods from when Cor showed him his kitchen. Some of them he hasn’t seen before. There are jars and cans and bottles and packets, and also foods just sitting on the shelf. He stares at them and realises he doesn’t remember which one is onion.

He remembers the word. Cor said it to him the day he showed him the kitchen. But there were lots of words, lots of new things, and Cor hasn’t shown him again, and it was weeks ago, now. He knows he ought to remember, but his memory’s been functioning poorly since he first met Cor, and although he can recall snapshots of foods, he can’t match all of them up with names.

He takes a deep breath and reaches out. He sees a round, red food that he doesn’t remember the name of, but he knows he’s seen before. He takes it and turns, holding it out to Ignis.

Ignis looks at him, then frowns.

“Hm,” he says. “Did I say tomato? I apologise, I meant to say onion.”

He swallows. It’s wrong, then. The round red food is tomato. He remembers that Ignis said the red soup was tomato. That makes sense. The red food makes red soup. He wonders if the red drink is also made of tomato.

Ignis is still looking at him, frowning a little. Then he steps away from the stove and comes over to the cupboard. He picks up two brown spheres.

“Here they are,” he says. He holds them out. “Onions.”

Onions. He takes them, trying to fix the word to the image in his mind. He puts the tomato back. Ignis closes the cupboard. He looks at him for a moment, like he’s thinking about something. Then he speaks.

“Could you chop those for me?” he asks. “There’s a knife and a chopping board over there.”

He looks. On the counter is a flat board and a knife. He goes over to them and puts the onions down on the board. Then he considers. Ignis asked him to chop them. He’s familiar with chop as a term for cutting off protruberances. You chop off an arm, or a head. But the onions don’t have protruberances. Apart from a small cone-shaped extension on one side, they’re spherical.

He picks up the knife and considers it. If he was asked to chop an enemy with no protuberances, what would he do?

Cut them in half.

Good. He takes hold of the first onion, holding it carefully so it won’t roll away. Then he chops it in half, through the middle of the cone-shaped extension. Inside, the onion is white with the palest hint of green. It has lines on it that follow the curve of the outside. It smells sharp and strange. He takes the other onion and chops it in half as well. Now he’s chopped both onions, so he lays down the knife and waits for further instructions.

After a few moments, Ignis looks over at him.

“Do you need some help?” he asks.

“No,” he says. “I’ve chopped them.”

Ignis comes over to the counter. He looks down at the onions. Then he looks up at him.

“Have you ever cooked before?” he asks.

“No,” he says.

Ignis nods. He taps his fingers on the counter, a thoughtful expression on his face. “What did you eat before you came here?” he asks. “I mean, to Lucis.”

He’s heard Lucis a lot in the last few weeks. He thinks it’s the name of the place he’s in now. So Ignis is asking what he ate when he was at the training facility.

“MT units don’t need to eat,” he says. He lifts up the side of his shirt. “I have a port. For sustenance.”

Ignis looks at his port. He looks at it for a long time. “I see,” he says. He sounds a little faint. “Then – you never ate anything until you came here?”

“No,” he says.

Ignis starts to look like he’s in pain. “I see,” he says again.

Something’s happened. He understands that. He doesn’t know what. But he expected Ignis to give him more instructions, and instead he’s just standing, and he looks like he’s in pain. He doesn’t know what to do to correct whatever it was that happened. “I eat things now,” he says. “Cor says there aren’t any feeding tubes that will fit my port. So I eat things now. All the things you make.”

Ignis nods slowly. “You’ve only ever eaten my cooking,” he says. And now some of the pain is gone from his face. “How extraordinary.”

Good. He said the right thing. He corrected whatever happened. He waits for more instructions.

Ignis stands up a little straighter. “Well – I will certainly take on that challenge,” he says, though quietly. And then, more loudly, “Prompto, you have a wonderful culinary journey ahead of you.”

He nods. He doesn’t understand. He hopes Ignis will give him more instructions soon.

But Ignis picks up one of the onion halves. “Now,” he says. “Some types of vegetable – do you know what vegetable means?”

He nods. Cor pointed at things and called them vegetables when he showed him his kitchen. Vegetables are green and all sorts of shapes. The onion isn’t green on the outside, but it’s faintly green on the inside and he thinks it’s probably a vegetable.

“Good,” Ignis says. “Some types of vegetable have parts which are not particularly pleasant to eat. We remove those parts before we eat the vegetable. In an onion, the skin and the two ends are not edible, so we remove them. Let me show you.”

He watches. Ignis takes the half onion and cuts off the cone, and then the other end as well, where there’s a mess of fibres protruding out of the onion. Then he strips off the skin. He does it so fast and cleanly that he isn’t quite sure what the technique was. Now there’s just the inner part, bulbous and white.

“And then, when we chop something in cooking, it usually means into slices or cube-like shapes,” Ignis says. “Watch carefully.”

He watches carefully. Ignis makes a series of parallel cuts through the onion until it’s in slices. Then he turns the board around and does the same in the orthogonal direction.

“The good thing about onions is that they have layers, which means that the slices in the third direction occur naturally,” he says. He taps the half onion with the knife, and it falls apart into small pieces that have an approximate cuboid shape. “There.”

Yes. He understands. And he feels an itch to be allowed to chop the rest of the onions. Ignis gave him clear instructions and a demonstration. Ignis is the only person he’s met since he came here who gives him such clear instructions.

“Would you like to do the rest?” Ignis asks, holding out the knife towards him.

“Yes,” he says, as fast as he can. He takes the knife. “Thank you.”

Ignis smiles. It’s a thoughtful smile. “I should be thanking you,” he says. “You’re the one who’s helping me.”

He doesn’t understand what Ignis means. But he understands his instructions. He takes the next half onion and cuts off the cone and the mess of fibres. Then he starts to peel off the brown skin. It’s not as easy as Ignis make it look. But eventually he succeeds. The half onion sits in front of him, pale and bulbous. He raises the knife and makes slices in one direction. Then he turns the board and makes slices in the orthogonal direction. Then he taps the onion with the knife.

It falls apart. The pieces are cuboid shapes. Yes.

He turns to see that Ignis is watching him. Ignis smiles.

“Excellent,” he says. “I see you’re a natural.”

He nods. Yes. He performed adequately. Ignis said excellent. That means he performed better than adequately. He performed well.

He performed well.

There’s a quiet, warm glow in his stomach. He hopes Ignis will let him help with more things. He takes the next onion half and begins the procedure again.

~

He chops several more foods after the onion. Ignis tells him the name of each one – zucchini, bell pepper, carrot – and he’s grateful, even though he knows Cor has told him the names of some of them before, and some he even remembers. Ignis tells him that all of them are vegetables. He has to revise his categorisation of vegetables. Onions are at least a little green inside, but carrots are orange (he wonders if the orange juice Ignis gave him is made with carrots) and bell peppers are many different colours, only some of them green. Vegetables isn’t an obvious category, then. He’ll just have to learn the categorisation of each food individually. Each vegetable also has a different chopping procedure associated with it. Ignis explains each one and demonstrates it. Ignis is so clear. He hopes Ignis will give him more instructions in future.

Ignis is still stirring his saucepan. He pours in a stack of thin flakes of something yellow. “Cheese sauce,” he says. “I’m hoping that Noctis won’t notice the vegetables if I cover them with enough cheese.”

He remembers Cor showing him cheese. He wonders if cheese is also a vegetable.

Then there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Ignis calls. The door opens, and Cor comes in. He looks angry. He looks so angry.

His stomach twists inside him. Cor’s not alone. Behind him is the one from the phone. And then the one with the club. They all come in. The one with the club closes the door.

Ignis straightens sharply. Then he inclines the top half of his body.

“Your Majesty,” he says. He looks quickly around at the room. He sweeps the peelings from the vegetables off the counter and into a container. “To what do I owe this honour?”

“Ignis,” the one with the club says. He makes his way to the table and sits down. “I’m hoping for a word with Prompto.”

“Of course,” Ignis says. He puts a hand on his back and pushes him towards the table. He sits down opposite the one with the club. Cor stands beside him. He puts a hand on his back, between the shoulder blades. The one from the phone stands behind the one with the club. He looks angry, too.

The one with the club looks at him. He doesn’t look angry. “We meet again,” he says.

He swallows. His mouth is dry. “Yes,” he says.

The one with the club nods. “Clarus,” he says.

The one from the phone steps forward. “Why did you come here?” he asks.

“Cor brought me,” he says. He looks up at Cor, but Cor’s looking at the one from the phone.

“Not to this room,” the one from the phone says. “Why did you come to this kingdom? Why did you come to Lucis? What is your purpose here?”

Lucis is the place where he is. “I came because Cor told me to follow,” he says. The first question he doesn’t understand, but that answers the second question. The third question is easy. “My purpose is to obey orders.”

The one with the club nods. “Whose orders?” he asks.

“My commanding officer,” he says. He’s glad the questions are mostly easy.

“Who is your commanding officer?” the one from the phone asks.

“Cor,” he says. He looks at Cor again. Cor’s face twitches, but he doesn’t look at him. But the hand on his back moves to his shoulder and squeezes. It feels warm.

The one with the club nods. He sighs. Then he looks at the one from the phone. “Clarus?” he says.

The one from the phone steps forward. He puts an object down on the table. It’s flat and round, and it has a dial on one side and a button in the middle.

“Do you know what this is?” he asks.

He looks at it. “No,” he says.

“Do you know what happened to you two days ago, when Prince Noctis sneaked into the room where you were being held?” the one from the phone asks.

“Yes,” he says. “I took my sunglasses off, so I was corrected.”

Cor’s hand tightens on his shoulder. The one from the phone raises an eyebrow. “How were you corrected?” he asks.

He remembers the pain of it, so sudden. The memory makes his heart beat even faster. “I was shocked,” he says. He touches the metal strap around his neck. “The strap gave me an electric shock.”

The one from the phone nods. “This is the controller for the collar,” he says, pointing at the flat, round object. “The user turns the dial to an appropriate level of severity and then presses the button to administer the shock. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” he says. The device seems simple enough.

“The guard who shocked you had the dial turned up to the second highest level of severity,” the one from the phone says. “It almost killed you. I presume it hurt.”

“Yes,” he says. “It hurt.” The metal strap suddenly feels tight around his neck. He can feel it when he swallows.

“The highest level of severity is designed to kill,” the one from the phone says. “If the guard had turned it up that high, it would have killed you. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” he says. He knew that the strap was a correction device. Of course it’s possible for it to kill him. He doesn’t understand why the one from the phone is asking him these questions.

The one from the phone nods. He takes the flat object and turns the dial. “Now it’s set to the highest level of severity,” he says. He pushes it towards him. “Cor?” he says.

He looks up at Cor. Cor’s not looking at him. He’s looking at the one from the phone. He looks so angry. “Clarus–” he starts.

“Cor,” the one from the phone says. His voice is sharp. “We’ve discussed this.”

Cor closes his mouth. He closes his eyes. He shakes his head.

Then the one with the club speaks. “Cor,” he says. His voice is gentle.

And Cor nods. He looks suddenly exhausted. He opens his eyes. He looks down at him.

“Press the button, kid,” he says. His voice sounds hoarse.

His heart jumps in his chest. He looks at the device on the table. The dial is set to the highest level of severity. If he presses the button–

But Cor told him to press the button.

He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand. Except he does. He’s been waiting for this. He’s done so many things that need correcting and he was stupid, he was so stupid to start to think – to hope – that maybe Cor was never going to correct him. That all those things he’s done would just be ignored. It’s been weeks, and he doesn’t understand why it’s taken so long. But maybe the system is different, here. Maybe here, instead of a small correction each time, all of the errors act cumulatively until it reaches a point where functionality is considered irretrievably impaired.

He picks up the device.

Cor’s hand tightens on his shoulder. It hurts now. He looks up at Cor, but Cor’s eyes are closed again. The one from the phone is watching him closely. The one with the club watches him, too. His face is sad.

He swallows. The device feels cool under his fingers. He’s been waiting, and now it’s time. Cor gave him an order, and he has to follow it. But he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to follow it. He thought – He thought–

He thought things were different now. He thought it. Hoped it. He should have known. He should have known it wasn’t really different.

He closes his eyes. He realises he’s crying, and he tries to stop. He wonders what they’ll do with his shell, once he’s pressed the button. Will they repair it and make a new MT unit? He hopes not. He thinks they wouldn’t want another unit in the same shell that’s proven to be so poorly functioning.

He hears movement in the room. “Cor,” the one with the club murmurs.

“Press the button,” Cor says again. He sounds like he’s in pain.

He thinks about the sky. The sun. He got to see them, and it was good.

He takes a deep breath and presses the button.

Nothing happens.

He hiccups. The tears are coming faster now. He opens his eyes and stares down at the device. He presses the button again. But nothing happens. Again. Nothing happens.

“Kid,” Cor says. He’s kneeling down now. “Kid, hey.”

He hasn’t fulfilled his orders. He jabs at the button. His heart’s thundering in his ears. He can’t see through the tears. And now Cor’s putting an arm around his back. Cor takes the device from his hands even when he’s trying to press the button again. He throws the device across the room. He puts a hand on his face.

“Kid,” he says. “It’s OK. It’s all right. It wasn’t real. I’m sorry, I’m – really fucking sorry.”

He stares at him. “I don’t understand,” he says. His voice comes out cracked and wavering.

Cor looks like he’s in pain. “It was a test,” he says. “And you passed it. Right, Clarus?” His voice changes on the last phrase, becoming suddenly deep and furious. He looks at the one from the phone. The one from the phone nods.

“I’m sorry we had to put you through that,” the one with the club says. “But I am very impressed with your loyalty. Very impressed.” He nods. “Clarus, I think perhaps we are not entirely welcome at this moment.”

The one with the club stands up. He and the one from the phone leave. The door closes behind them.

He’s still crying. His heart feels like it’s being squeezed in his chest. He can’t stop.

“I’m sorry,” Cor says. “I’m sorry. Come here. Come on.”

Cor holds him, then. It’s difficult because he’s sitting down and Cor’s kneeling. But that’s not all. It doesn’t feel solid like it did before. Cor’s arms are warm, but he feels cold anyway. He wishes Cor would stop holding him.

“It’s OK,” Cor says. “You’re all right. It wasn’t real, none of it was real.”

None of it was real. He wipes his hand across his eyes. Is any of this real? Why is all of this happening? Why isn’t he at the training facility? Why is Cor holding him? No-one ever held him before. No-one ever made him eat food before, or let him go outside, or taught him how to play games. But no-one ever ordered him to kill himself, either. If they’d wanted him terminated at the facility, they would have done it themselves.

He brings his hand down. And he pushes. He doesn’t mean to. He does it without thinking. He pushes at Cor’s arm, where it’s lying across his chest.

He doesn’t push hard. He doesn’t mean to push at all. He didn’t think about it. He didn’t mean it. But it happened anyway.

And Cor sits back on his heels. He pulls his arms away. The warmth is gone. But he doesn’t mind. It feels better now that Cor’s not holding him any more.

Cor runs a hand over his face. He looks like he’s in pain. He doesn’t look angry. He doesn’t correct him for pushing. He doesn’t say anything at all. He just looks at him, with that pained expression.

And then: Ignis. Ignis has been there throughout, though he’s stayed silent and out of the way. Now he reappears. He stands behind Cor. Cor’s kneeling and Ignis is standing, and Ignis looks very tall. He has his arms folded across his chest.

“With respect, Marshal,” he says, “perhaps he might need a little time.” His voice is very cold.

Cor looks up at him. Then he runs a hand through his hair. He sighs.

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah.”

He gets to his feet. He stands silently for a moment, staring at nothing. Then he walks towards the door. When he gets there, he turns back.

“I really am sorry,” he says. “I–” He stops. He shakes his head. “I’ll see you later,” he says.

Then he leaves.

Chapter 16

Notes:

I have more beautiful fanart to share! I'm so excited!

Here is a heartbreaking picture drawn by the wonderful paigeyleighwolf of Prompto being terrified to take off his sunglasses. Aww, poor wee lad :(

And Here is a lovely picture of Cor defending Prompto and also a comic of Cor giving Prompto the music player (his tiny smile awwwwwww), both drawn by the fabulous rkcart! (For some reason I couldn't see this on the original artist's tumblr, but when I looked at one of the reblogs it was fine, so if you have the same problem that's how to solve it.)

Please give these artists lots of love for giving their inspiration and creativity to this fic! I'm so flattered and thrilled :D

Chapter Text

It feels cold inside Ignis’ room, even though he knows it was warm not very long ago. He wonders if the temperature has been reduced. But he thinks it hasn’t. He thinks the cold is coming from inside his own body. He feels dull and heavy and – cold. His eyes feel sore from crying. His throat feels sore, even though there’s no reason for that.

“Here,” Ignis says. He’s been cooking something, and now he puts a cup down next to him. It’s water. No, it’s not water. It’s camomile tea. Ignis made it for him before. But it smells different now. It smells strange and fragrant.

He picks up the cup and sips it. It feels warm on his throat. After a few sips, the warmth spreads to his stomach. It settles a little.

Ignis sits down next to him. He puts a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t leave it there long, but it feels warm.

“Prompto,” he says. He adjusts his glasses. He doesn’t look at him. “What happened just then – the test – that was very unfair. I want you to know that I think it was very unfair to you.”

He looks at Ignis. He’s not sure what Ignis means. “The test?” he says. “But Cor said I passed the test.”

“Yes, you did,” Ignis says. “You did, there’s certainly no doubt about that.”

He sips his tea. Good. He passed the test. But even thinking about the test makes his throat start to ache again. He focuses on the tea instead. It tastes like it smells, soft and fragrant.

Ignis is looking at him now. “Do you understand what was being tested?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. His ability to follow orders was being tested. He’s been thinking about it, since it happened. Thinking about it makes his throat ache, it makes him feel cold and dull and heavy. But he wants to understand it. They wanted to see if he would follow orders, even when it would mean being terminated. And he’s realised: they don’t have access to the results of the tests from the facility. That’s why they did the test. Because if they had access to the results, they would know he can follow orders. He has some malfunctions, certainly. He’s probably defective – though he hopes they don’t know about his defects – but he can follow orders. He’s been tested before and it’s been a long time since he failed.

“I see,” Ignis says. He sips at his own drink. “Why don’t you tell me, then?”

He wonders if Ignis doesn’t know what was being tested. But no: Ignis seems to know everything. So it’s another test. To see if he’s stupid.

“To see if I could follow orders,” he says. He swallows. “I can follow orders.” He knows Ignis saw the test, but he wants to make sure Ignis knows. He’s obedient. He can be useful.

Ignis sips his drink. “That’s partially correct,” he says. “But it’s not everything.” He gives him a thoughtful look. “What has Cor told you about your – place here in Lucis?”

He thinks. “He told me I’m not permitted to see Noctis,” he says. “And – I should keep the sunglasses on. But I don’t have them any more.” Cor hasn’t rescinded the order, but he hasn’t given him any new sunglasses, either, so he assumes that the order is now superseded.

Ignis frowns a little. “That’s all?” he asks.

He nods. Then he remembers something else. “He told me to say I was in an accident and my parents died,” he says. He still doesn’t know what parents are. He assumes this order is also superseded, since Ignis clearly now knows he isn’t human.

Ignis puts a hand over his eyes. He sighs. “Honestly,” he mutters. Then he takes his hand away from his eyes.

“Prompto,” he says. “What you are is – very unfamiliar to us. We understand very little about how the inorganic parts of your body work, and how they affect the organic parts.”

He nods slowly. The engineers ask questions about those things. They seem not to know very much. Maybe they don’t have access to the records from the facility, either.

“Do you know who the man who was sitting there is?” Ignis asks. He points across the table, at the place where the one with the club was sitting.

He hesitates, then shakes his head. He hopes Ignis will start asking him questions he knows the answer to soon.

“His name is Regis Lucis Caelum,” Ignis says. “He’s the King of Lucis.” He looks at him. “Do you know what that means?”

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. He got the last few questions wrong, or not completely right, anyway, and then he didn’t know the answer at all. He doesn’t want Ignis to know how stupid he is.

“I see,” Ignis says. “Can you explain to me what it means?”

His heart lurches. He’s trapped himself. He’s so stupid, he’s trapped himself and he didn’t even see he was doing it. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

Then, there’s a solid, warm weight on his arm. It’s Ignis’ hand.

“There’s no need to be afraid,” Ignis says. “You’re not in any trouble. I only want to make sure you understand.”

His heart’s still beating too fast, but Ignis’ voice is very calm, and his hand feels warm. He doesn’t take his hand away, and his heart starts to slow a little. But he still hasn’t explained what King of Lucis means, even though Ignis told him to.

King means supreme commander,” Ignis says, as though he hadn’t even asked him to explain it in the first place. “Regis Lucis Caelum is our supreme commander. And the other man who was here is Clarus Amicitia. He is the second in command.”

He swallows. His heart feels like it’s beating in his throat. “Yes,” he says, like he knew that all along. “He’s the supreme commander.” He tries to fit the information into what he already knows. He remembers he thought about the hierarchy before. He thought the one from the phone was higher than Cor. He wasn’t sure about the one with the club. But now he knows: he’s the supreme commander. And he tested him personally. His stomach lurches again. He’s glad he didn’t know he was the supreme commander when he was being tested.

“Indeed,” Ignis says. “And Prince Noctis is his son.”

He nods. He doesn’t know what son means.

“You understand that the safety of the king and his son is of vital importance to all of us,” Ignis says.

“Yes,” he says. Yes, of course the supreme commander must be kept safe. And Noctis, because he’s – associated with the supreme commander in some way.

“Good,” Ignis says. He sips his drink. “Clarus is concerned that you may be a threat to their safety.”

He frowns. Ignis was making sense, but now suddenly he doesn’t understand again. How can he be a threat to the supreme commander?

Ignis must realise that he doesn’t understand, even though he tries to keep it hidden, because he explains. “Because you have some – inorganic aspects, Clarus was concerned that you might have a program hidden inside your brain which was designed to make you harm Regis or Noctis,” he says. “He thought even you might not know about it.”

He considers this. He doesn’t think he has programs in his brain that he doesn’t know about. But suddenly he remembers waking up inside the secret passage, and his stomach feels like it turns over inside him.

“Hence the test,” Ignis says. “If there was a program that was waiting for a chance to harm the royal family, it would surely have tried to protect itself by preventing you from pressing that button. But it didn’t. And so you passed the test.”

He stares at Ignis. Ignis looks back at him.

“Why don’t they just look?” he asks.

Ignis frowns. “I don’t understand,” he says.

He shakes his head. “Why don’t they just – look in my brain?” he asks. “If there’s a program there – they can reprogram me.” He doesn’t want to be reprogrammed, but it’s better than being modified. It’s better than being terminated.

Ignis stares at him for a long moment. “Because – we don’t have the capacity to do that,” he says. “No-one here knows how to do that.”

He sits back. He stares at Ignis. He tries to understand what he’s hearing.

“It was still unfair,” Ignis says. “You have every right to be angry.”

Angry? No. No, he’s not angry. He’s an MT unit. MT units can’t get angry. He’s – stunned. The test wasn’t what he thought it was at all. But he understands. He does understand. For the first time – what the engineers were looking for. That they don’t know anything about his systems. That they can’t simply check his programming and rewrite it if necessary. Because–

–they don’t know. They don’t know how to. It was obvious all along, but he’d never thought – he’d assumed –

Where are all the other MT units?

“Are you all right?” Ignis asks. He feels himself nodding. His mind is spinning. The floor feels like it’s shifting under him. Everything feels like it’s shifting. Why is he here? Why is he here?

Ignis puts a hand on his arm. He feels it, warm and heavy. Solid. He focuses on it. He was at the training facility. At the training facility, he understood his purpose. But here, everything is – strange. But it’s good. It’s better. Even when – even when it’s terrible, when it’s terrifying, it’s still better. Even if nothing good happens to him again, it will still have been better than anything that ever happened before.

He passed the test. He passed it. He feels suddenly dizzy with relief. What if there’d been a program in his brain? What if he’d tried to harm the supreme commander? What would have happened then?

But that didn’t happen. He passed the test. And he’s still here. He’s still here, with Ignis, and the music is still playing and the cooking is in the oven. It smells rich and warm, like nothing he’s ever smelt before.

Ignis stands up. “You know,” he says, “I think we should make a salad. Would you like to help me?”

He nods. He feels as though his head is floating away from his neck. He stands, and staggers a little. Ignis puts a hand on his back.

“Steady,” Ignis says. He says it quietly, but it makes him feel steadier all the same. The tea’s warm in his stomach and Ignis’ hand is warm on his back and he’s steady. Everything’s shifting around him, but he can be steady, because Ignis wants him to be.

“We’ll need tomatoes,” Ignis says. “Could you fetch one for me?”

He knows what tomato looks like. He straightens up. He knows how to do this. He can do this.

He can do this.

~

He makes salad with Ignis. Salad is a bowl full of vegetables. These vegetables aren’t covered in cheese sauce like the other ones. He’s beginning to think almost all foods are vegetables. He chops tomato and some new things – cucumber, olives, another type of onion that’s red inside instead of green – and the dull, heavy feeling that makes his throat ache recedes a little. When he’s finished, though, Ignis tells him to sit on the couch. He gives him the book of images to read. But once he sits down, his throat starts to ache again.

And then the door opens.

He starts, his heart jumping in his chest. But it’s not Cor. It’s not the supreme commander or the second-in-command.

It’s Noctis.

“Hey, Ignis,” Noctis says, walking through the door with a wave of his hand. Behind him comes the person he saw before, with the images on his arms. Noctis turns to look at him, where he’s sitting on the couch.

“You’re here,” he says. “Cool.”

“Your Highness,” Ignis says. He bites the ends of the words off. “May I ask what you think you’re doing here?”

“Cool it, Specs,” Noctis says. He drops himself down on the couch at right angles to him, sprawling across it. “Dad said it was OK. And before you ask, his dad said it was OK, too.”

He points at the one with the images. The one with the images is still standing near the door, arms folded across his chest. He looks angry.

Ignis turns to look at the one with the images. The one with the images shrugs.

“Yeah,” he says. “With conditions.”

“He said something about you passing some kind of test,” Noctis says, glancing at him. “Honestly, I don’t know why he was such a dick about it in the first place.”

“Huh, guess you’re not as smart as you look, then,” the one with the images says. “And you don’t look that smart.”

Noctis rolls his eyes.

“What conditions?” Ignis asks. He’s frowning.

“Nothing important,” Noctis says.

“We gotta babysit,” the one with the images says to Ignis. “Any time His Highness and blondie have a playdate, you and me have to be present. And you’ll need this.”

He holds something out. Ignis takes it. It’s a flat round device. Like the controller for the metal strap.

Ignis stares at it. His face gets paler. Then he holds it out.

“I don’t need this,” he says.

The one with the images shrugs. “Too bad,” he says. “Those are the conditions. We’ve all got one, Noct too.”

“Yep,” Noctis says. He pulls another flat, round device out of his pocket and stares at it. “Stupid,” he mutters under his breath. Then he shoves the device back in his pocket and turns to look at him. “I’m not gonna use it, though,” he says. “It’s just to get my dad off my back.”

He swallows. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ignis putting his own device in his pocket, holding it gingerly between his finger and thumb. Noctis is here. He’s behaving as though nothing happened. But lots of things have happened. He let Noctis take the sunglasses. And then he was corrected, and now Noctis knows that he’s not human.

Noctis is staring at him. At his neck. He reaches up and brushes his fingers against his own neck.

“Does that thing hurt?” he asks.

He reaches up to touch the strap. But he doesn’t touch it. He thinks about the shock racing across his skin. He thinks about the test, and his throat feels like it might close.

“No,” he says. “Only when it’s activated.”

Noctis suddenly sits up straighter. He stops sprawling. He leans over the arm of the couch towards him.

“Hey,” he says, and then stops. He taps his fingers on the arm of the couch. He looks away, at the floor, at the table.

“Hey, listen,” he says. “Listen, about – uh. I didn’t mean for – that thing to get – activated, I guess.” He’s staring at the arm of the couch now. “I didn’t realise – I mean, it was a shock, you know?” Suddenly, his cheeks flush. “Not – shit, I didn’t mean that like a joke. Six, I’m just – sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt, I was just startled.”

He stares at Noctis. Noctis’ eyes creep up from the arm of the couch until they catch his. Then he looks away.

“I mean – are we OK?” he asks.

He doesn’t understand what Noctis means. He doesn’t understand what Noctis is sorry about.

“Yes,” he says.

Something loosens in Noctis’ shoulders. “Great,” he says. “Yeah – cool. I just thought I’d say, you know?”

“Yes,” he says again. He’s not sure that Noctis’ question had any semantic content.

Noctis raises an eyebrow at him. “Yes?” he says.

He remembers, suddenly. It feels like a long time ago. “Yeah,” he says.

Noctis grins. “Great,” he says again. He’s suddenly sprawling once more, like he doesn’t have the energy to keep himself upright. “Hey, have you met Gladio?”

He points at the one with the images. He’s leaning against the wall, now, watching them both.

“Gladio, Prompto,” Noct says. “Gladio’s my Shield.”

“Oh,” he says. He knows what a shield is, but he’s not sure how a person can be a shield.

The one with the images grunts when he looks his way. He frowns at him.

“Wow,” he mutters. “Those eyes are really fucking weird.”

Ignis clears his throat. He raises his eyebrows at the one with the images. The one with the images sighs.

“Yeah, nice to meet you,” he says. He doesn’t say anything else. He just leans against the wall and watches.

Noctis seems to have lost interest in the one with the images. He’s looking at him.

“They are pretty weird,” he says. It take him a moment to realise he’s talking about his eyes. He’s staring at him now with a fascinated expression. “Does everything look red to you?”

“No,” he says. “Things are all different colours.”

“Yeah?” Noctis says.

“Yeah,” he says. He looks at Noctis’ eyes. They’re dark blue. He wonders if everything looks dark blue to him. Is that how human eyes work? It must be strange.

“So – like, what’s going on with you, anyway?” Noctis asks. “I mean, Cor says you’re not an MT, so – why are your eyes like that?”

He frowns. “I am an MT,” he says. “I’m an MT unit.”

Noctis laughs. “Seriously, though,” he says. “MTs don’t play videogames, so.”

“Noct,” Ignis says. “Prompto has had a hard day. Try not to badger him.”

He remembers the test all of a sudden. His throat starts to ache. He’d almost forgotten it until Ignis said that.

“Whatever,” Noctis says. But he falls silent. He sits there on the couch, frowning at nothing for a few seconds. Then he turns to look at him again.

“Hey, is that why you didn’t know about high-fiving?” he says. “I guess they don’t high-five in Niflheim, huh?”

He doesn’t know where Niflheim is. He wonders whether yes or no is a more appropriate answer.

“Prompto has had a very confined upbringing,” Ignis says before he can decide. Ignis is sitting at the table, holding his cup of drink. “He’s lacking quite a lot of knowledge.”

He feels his heart sink in his chest. Ignis has realised how stupid he is. How much he doesn’t understand. He tried to hide it, but of course Ignis realised it. And now he’ll tell Cor.

“Yeah?” Noctis says. He looks at him sideways. “Don’t worry, Specs says that about me, too.”

“Yes, well, unlike Prompto, you have no excuse,” Ignis says.

The one with the images snorts. Noctis rolls his eyes. Then he looks at him again, sideways, like before.

“Hey,” he says. “If there’s something you don’t know, you can ask, though.”

He nods. He’s still thinking about how stupid he is. How Ignis has realised, and now he’s told Noctis, and he’ll tell Cor, too.

Noctis sits up. He leans over the arm of the couch. He’s looking directly at him now.

“I’m serious,” he says. “You can ask. No-one’s going to think you’re stupid.”

He blinks. He wonders if Noctis could somehow hear what he was thinking. Then he hears the words again. No-one’ s going to think you’re stupid. Ignis just told Noctis that he doesn’t know anything. But Noctis doesn’t think he’s stupid.

Why not?

Suddenly, it doesn’t matter why not. Noctis already knows that he doesn’t know anything. That he doesn’t understand anything. Ignis told him. But Noctis doesn’t think he’s stupid. And – Noctis said he could ask. If he had a question, he could ask.

His head spins. All the questions crowd into his mind at once, bewildering in their variety. He has so many questions. There’s so much he doesn’t know. There’s too much. It piles up behind his eyes, and he opens his mouth but nothing happens. The questions are jammed in his throat. None of them escape.

Noctis frowns at him. “You OK?” he says. “Prompto?”

His heart starts to pound. Suddenly, he doesn’t care about revealing his stupidity any more. He just wants to know. He wants to know so many things. And if he doesn’t ask now, maybe he won’t get this chance again. He needs to ask something. Anything at all.

“Why does the sky change colour?” he asks. His voice sounds breathless.

Noctis sits back. He raises his eyebrows. “Seriously?” he says. “That’s what you want to ask?”

It was the wrong thing. He asked the wrong thing. And now he can’t take it back. He opens and closes his mouth. And then Noctis shrugs.

“I dunno,” he says. “I guess – the sunset makes it go orange.”

He stares. He didn’t expect Noctis not to know. How can Noctis see the sky every day and not know why it changes colour?

Ignis stands up, then. He comes over to where they’re sitting, in the half of the room with the soft chairs. He sits down opposite him.

“When the sun shines, the light is scattered by particles in the sky,” he says. “The scattering makes it look blue. But when the sun is close to the horizon, the light passes through more particles before it reaches our eyes. Then the scattering makes the sky look orange.” He glances at Noctis and raises an eyebrow.

Noctis shrugs. “We haven’t got to that part in physics yet,” he says.

The one with the images makes a muffled noise that sounds like a laugh.

The explanation isn’t what he was expecting. He hasn’t seen the sky look orange. “Yeah,” he says. “Thank you.”

Ignis considers him for a moment. “Was there something else you wanted to ask about the colour of the sky?” he asks.

He opens his mouth to say no. But instead, he says, “Why is it grey sometimes?”

Ignis glances at the one with the images. Then he settles himself slightly further into his chair.

“It’s grey when it’s cloudy.” He pauses. “Do you know what clouds are?”

He hesitates. He wants to say no, so Ignis will explain it to him. But he wants to say yes, so Ignis won’t think he’s stupid.

Ignis sighs quietly. “Prompto,” he says, “if there are things you don’t know, that’s no reflection on you. Not knowing things isn’t something you should be ashamed of. The only thing to be ashamed of is not learning when you have the opportunity.”

He blinks. Ignis is saying – Ignis is saying that if he says he knows something when he doesn’t, that’s worse than being stupid and not knowing in the first place. Ignis is saying that – it’s all right not to know things. Is that what he’s saying? It’s hard to believe, but he thinks that’s what he’s saying.

He speaks before he has time to think about it too much. “No,” he says. “I don’t know – clouds.” He braces himself, waiting for Ignis to look angry. But Ignis doesn’t. Noctis draws in a breath, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t look angry, either.

“I see,” Ignis says. “Well, clouds are made of water vapour. When water evaporates from the ground, it rises up into the sky. When it gets high enough, the water recondenses into very small droplets. Those droplets form clouds. They look grey from below, and that’s why the sky is sometimes grey – because it’s covered in clouds.”

He tries to understand this. How can water be in the sky? Water’s too heavy to be in the sky. It would fall down, like –

–like water falling out of the sky.

He stares at Ignis.

“Are you all right?” Ignis says after a moment.

“Does the water fall down again?” he asks.

“Yes,” Ignis says. He looks a little surprised. “That’s why it rains.”

He looks at the window. There’s no water falling now, though there was earlier. Rains. Does that mean water falling out of the sky? It comes from nowhere. But – it comes from clouds? And the clouds come from the ground? But then – why doesn’t it just fall out straight away? Water’s too heavy to be in the sky. And – why does the water on the ground evaporate?

“Do you understand?” Ignis asks.

No, he doesn’t understand. But for the first time, there’s something. There’s a glimpse, as though maybe he could understand. It’s not inexplicable. Water falls from the sky for a reason, and Ignis knows what the reason is. The sky changes colour for a reason, and it’s the same reason. Ignis knows all the reasons, and he’s not angry that he doesn’t know. And Noctis said he can ask about anything he wants to. He feels a swelling in his chest, like it’s opening up. But not in a bad way. It’s like there’s suddenly more space inside him. He has a sudden vision of the ground, and the sky, and water somehow rising up and falling down, and himself, tiny, standing and looking up at the falling water. Understanding. And all the space. The whole world is full of space.

“Prompto?” Ignis asks.

His mind is whirling. He feels dizzy. But it’s good. It feels good.

“Why does the water go up from the ground?” he asks.

And Ignis explains.

~

Ignis explains:

The sun is hot. The heat evaporates the water. Like a saucepan on a stove, or a kettle boiling. (He hasn’t observed these, but he’s aware of boiling water and of steam, so he understands.) The water vapour rises up because it’s hot and hot things weigh less than cold things. But it gets colder as it goes up. Eventually, it gets cold enough that the water condenses. But the droplets are very small. They’re so small that they don’t fall out of the sky. They only fall out when several droplets join together to form a heavier droplet. Then it rains. The water falls back to the ground. The sun shines. And it all starts again.

He sits back in his chair. It’s perfect. It’s a perfect cycle. It makes the sky change colour and water fall out of the sky, but in the end, nothing changes. Everything changes but nothing changes. He’s astonished by the simplicity.

Noctis is looking at his phone. He looks up. “You guys done?” he asks.

Ignis looks at him. “Is there anything else you wanted to ask at this point?” he says.

He blinks. He’s still lost in contemplating the cycle. He’s imagining himself, on the surface of the earth. There’s so much space. He’s so small, under the sky that goes on for ever. He didn’t even know about it. The feeling of it – of being so small, of the great expanse of everything else – it makes him feel calm. Settled. And amazed.

“Prompto?” Ignis asks.

And he realises: this is his chance. He doesn’t know if there’ll be another chance. And there are still so many questions. Suddenly, the calm feeling is gone. The questions crowd his mind again, each scrambling to be first out of his mouth. But his eyes fall on the low table. There’s the book he was looking at – Lucis by Night Laus Venustas – but there’s the other book, too. The book with the pictures of organisms. He grabs it, opening it fast, before Ignis can change his mind. He points at the green material that appears in every image.

“What’s this?” he asks.

Noctis leans over and peers at the image.

“It’s a rabbit,” he says.

“Yeah,” he says. It’s printed on the image, in the corner. RABBIT. He thought rabbit was the organism, not the green material.

Ignis frowns at him. He frowns at his finger. “Do you mean – the grass?” he says.

He points. “This,” he says. “The green.”

“The grass,” Ignis says.

“Grass,” he says. “It’s all–?” He turns the page. There’s an image captioned GARULA. There’s green there, too. “It’s all grass?”

“No, those are trees,” Ignis says. He sits forward in his chair. “Vegetation. It’s different types of vegetation.”

“Come on, Specs,” Noctis says. “He’s not going to know what vegetation means.” He turns to look at him. “It’s plants. You know plants, right?”

He swallows. He shakes his head.

There’s a silence. “Fuck me,” mutters the one with the images.

Noctis stares at him. He looks blank. Then, suddenly, he gets to his feet.

“OK,” he says. “Come on, then.”

He stands up. Ignis and the one with the images stand, too. Ignis is frowning. The one with the images looks angry.

“Going somewhere?” the one with the images says. His voice sounds very deep.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. He glances at him and grins. “We’re going on a field trip.”

Chapter 17

Notes:

Argh, I forgot at first to link more beautiful fanart that has been written for this story!

Furunui made a heartbreaking picture of Prompto pressing the button. That poor baby! Go and look and be made terribly sad!

And Paigeyleighwolf drew the aftermath, with Ignis comforting a lib-wibbly Prompto (which they claim is quick and messy, but seems nothing of the sort to me!). I will cry, I swear!

I love the detail and thought that goes into all these pictures, and I'm just really excited that people are drawing scenes from this fic. Thank you so much to the artists, and please go and give them lots of love!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They walk down the corridor to the elevator. Ignis, the one with the images and the silent one are walking behind. They’re talking about something, and they sound angry, but they’re talking in whispers and he can’t hear. He wants to sharpen his hearing so he can listen to what they’re saying, but Noctis is talking to him as well and he can’t listen to both at once.

“Why are you walking like that?” Noctis asks. He’s looking at him as they walk, frowning a little. “Did you hurt your back?”

He tries to look down at how he’s walking. He doesn’t think he’s walking any differently from how he usually walks. His back doesn’t hurt.

“No,” he says.

He looks at how Noctis is walking. Noctis is walking like a human. He seems to flow rather than walk. Most humans walk that way, he’s discovered since spending so much time around them. MT units don’t walk that way. But Noctis knows he’s an MT unit, so the question is strange.

Noctis’ frown deepens. “Huh,” he says. He looks like he’s thinking about something. But before he says anything else, the one with the images catches up with them. He glances back and sees that the silent one and Ignis aren’t arguing any more. Now they’re both typing quickly on their phones, walking without looking.

“I’m not saying I’m behind this idea,” the one with the images says. He’s talking to Noctis. “I still think it’s dumb. But since apparently you’re into being dumb today, the kid’s gonna need sunglasses. Unless you want to start a riot, anyway.”

“Shit,” Noctis says. He puts his hands in his pockets, pats his clothes, then turns, walking backwards now, to look back at Ignis. “Ignis, you got any sunglasses?”

Ignis, still typing on his phone, puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a pair of sunglasses. He holds them out without looking. Noctis takes them, then turns back to face forwards.

“Huh,” he says, looking at the sunglasses. Then he holds them out to him.

“Here,” he says. “These are the ones I got for you, anyway. You know, before–” He makes a short gesture, but doesn’t explain what he’s referring to. His cheeks darken a little.

He takes the sunglasses. He puts them on, and brightens his vision to compensate. They’re not the same as the sunglasses Cor gave him. They’re a different shape, more curved, and the lenses are reflective on the outside. They look the same from the inside, though.

“Cool,” Noctis says. He looks at the one with the images. “Happy?”

The one with the images grunts. He’s watching him. But he doesn’t say anything.

They go into the elevator. They go down to the ground floor. They’re going the same way he goes with Cor when they leave Ignis’ apartment and go to Cor’s apartment. Thinking of Cor makes his chest hurt. He wonders if Noctis is taking him back to Cor’s apartment. He wonders if Cor will be there. His chest hurts more.

They’re almost at the doors that go out to the steps when they see another group coming from the other direction. There are two people wearing the same clothes as the silent ones, and the one from the phone. The one from the phone strides forward. Noctis stops walking, so he does, too. Then Ignis steps from behind him. Ignis takes two steps forward and to the side, so that he’s a little in front of him. He folds his arms. He stares at the one from the phone.

The one from the phone looks at Noctis.

“Your Highness,” he says. “What’s this?”

Noctis shrugs. “We’re going to the park,” he says.

The one from the phone raises his eyebrows. “Are you sure that’s wise?” he says.

“Is there any particular reason we shouldn’t go?” Ignis says. His voice sounds stiff, like his tongue isn’t quite working properly. “The weather is becoming quite pleasant, after all.”

The one from the phone looks at Ignis. Then he looks at him. He’s aware that his stomach’s churning. There’s sweat on the back of his neck, and on the palms of his hands. His heart’s thudding in his ears.

Finally, the one from the phone stops looking at him. He looks at the one with the images. He raises an eyebrow.

The one with the images shrugs. “Kid’s never seen plants before,” he says.

The one from the phone stands in silence for a long moment. Then he sighs.

“Gladio, Lacertus, you’re responsible,” he says. “Keep your phones on.” He looks back at him. There’s an expression on his face that he can’t decipher. He keeps looking, and Ignis move slightly further in front of him.

The one from the phone sighs again. “Lacertus, I will expect a full report,” he says.

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says.

Then the one from the phone turns around. He walks away, and the two others go with him. Something loosens in Ignis’ shoulders, and he rubs a hand on the back of his neck.

“That was weird,” Noctis says. He looks up at Ignis. “You guys have a fight or something?”

“Certainly not,” Ignis says.

“Huh,” Noctis says. He frowns down the hallway, where the one from the phone is still walking away. Then he looks at Ignis again. “Thought you thought this was a bad idea, anyway,” he says.

Ignis starts walking. “My feelings are... complicated,” he says.

The one with the images grunts. He’s looking at Ignis with a thoughtful expression.

Noctis glances at him and shrugs. He’s not sure what meaning is supposed to be conveyed by the shrug, so he doesn’t respond to it.

And then they’re outside.

~

They go in a car he hasn’t seen before. Ignis drives it. He sits in the front seat. The other three sit in the back. There isn’t really enough space.

“Could’ve got one of the trucks,” the one with the images says. He’s in the middle. He looks like a plug that’s about to burst out of a vessel under too much pressure.

“Hey, I said Prompto could sit in the back,” Noctis says. “He’s, like, half the size of you. We’d all be more comfortable.”

“No, we wouldn’t,” the one with the images says. But he doesn’t say anything else after that, and neither does anyone else.

They don’t drive to Cor’s apartment. They drive a different way. There’s no water falling out of the sky any more – rain, he remembers, and the word feels satisfying in his mind, like something clicking into place – but the sky is still grey. Clouds, he thinks, looking up through the window of the car. The sky’s a light grey, and the underside has a sort of uneven appearance. It’s water, up there. Somehow, it’s water. He wonders how high up it is. He tries to imagine it. But he can’t, not really.

They turn into a broad flat area with lots of cars. Then they stop. They’re next to a high wall. There’s a sign. Royal Botanic Park and Gardens, it says, and underneath, in smaller letters, By Grace of His Majesty the King. He doesn’t know what most of the words mean, but he remembers that king means the supreme commander, and that the one with the club is the king. He wonders if this is where the king lives.

They get out of the car. The one with the images rolls his shoulders.

“Someone’s walking back,” he says.

“Sure,” Noctis says. “You could probably use the exercise.”

The one with the images scowls at Noctis. The scowl makes his heart jump in his chest. The one with the images is very tall. His shoulders are very broad. Noctis is much smaller. He thinks the one with the images could easily hurt Noctis, if he was angry with him. And if he hurt Noctis – what would he do? What should he do? No-one’s instructed him on his duty with regards to the supreme commander, but he feels sure he must be supposed to protect him at all costs. And Ignis told him that Noctis also has to be protected, because he’s associated with the supreme commander in some way. More than that – he feels it himself. It’s not just that Ignis has told him. If the one with the images tries to hurt Noctis, he will have to act. He feels it. But acting without a clear protocol established could lead to a serious error.

He doesn’t want to make a serious error.

And then: the one with the images stops scowling. The scowl disappears, as though it was never there. He doesn’t look angry. He doesn’t even seem to be paying attention to Noctis. As though he forgot whatever it was that made him angry in the first place.

He stands, willing his heart to stop thundering in his ears. He feels light-headed. He’s outside, he realises, on the side of the road. There’s people nearby, and all the silent, empty cars. No-one’s given him any instructions. What if something happens? Cor’s not here. He won’t know what to do. And – and the one with the images was angry, and then he stopped being angry, and there was no reason for any of it. The sky suddenly seems dangerously far away, and everything underneath it is muddled and confused.

“Prompto?” says a voice beside him. He turns. It’s Ignis. Ignis puts a hand on his arm. It feels solid.

“Come with me,” Ignis says. “I wouldn’t want you to get lost.”

He feels a thick rush of gratitude. Noctis is walking towards a gate in the wall, now. Ignis puts a hand on his back and steers him in the same direction. The one with the images is following Noctis. The silent one comes behind him and Ignis. They’re all going to the gate in the wall. He concentrates on Ignis’ hand on his back. It makes him feel steadier. It makes the space above him seem less dizzying.

Noctis disappears through the gate. The one with the images follows. Ignis leads him up, and they turn inwards.

And everything inside is green.

He stumbles, and beside him, Ignis stops moving. They stand still. And he looks.

He sees: the ground is green. It’s not grey or black stone like it is in all the other places he’s seen outside. It’s green. It’s covered in something that’s green and somehow almost hairy, like green hair growing out of the ground. It looks hairy close by, but further away it looks smooth. The ground surface curves, and there are no steps – everything’s just smooth.

He sees: there are many tall objects dotted around the green surface. They’re shaped like poles and pillars rising from the ground. On top of each pole or pillar is a profusion of green, in all different shades. He looks more closely and sees that this green isn’t hairy. This green is made up of many small, flat green objects. The pillars have branching structures at the top, and the small green objects are attached to the branches. The ones that are close enough to make out are lens-shaped. He sharpens his vision, and he sees that some are closer to circular while others are more elongate. Some have a shape with multiple points. Others are arranged in radial groups. The complexity, the sheer range of shapes and types of green, is astonishing.

He sees: splashes of colour, mostly at the bases of the pillars. He sharpens his vision and sees that these patches of colour, too, are composed of multiple small objects, many different colours and shapes. The colours vary widely, from deep purple to bright white, with yellow, orange, red and blue all represented. He’s never seen so many colours in one place all at once.

He’s never seen so much green.

“Yeah, so,” Noctis says. He’s standing next to him, but he sounds very far away. He makes a gesture with his arm, encompassing the view. “Plants.”

He turns to look at Noctis. Noctis gives him a half-smile. He turns back to look at the green. And suddenly his head starts to spin. The space is so – wide. So open. The sky is very high overhead. And there’s so much – there’s so many things to look at. He’s never – he’s never seen so much before.

“Hey, whoa,” Noctis says, and he realises he’s staggered into him. Noctis grabs his arm, and Ignis puts an arm across his back, gripping his shoulder.

“You should sit down,” Ignis says. He steers him a few steps to a wide seat. It’s made of wooden slats. He sits on it, gripping the edge. Noctis sits next to him. Noctis turns towards him. He stares at him.

“You OK?” he says.

He blinks. Ignis is standing beside him. Ignis’ hand is on his shoulder. The silent one and the one with the images stand nearby, watching. In front of him, everything is green. Everything is wide and open and green.

It’s beautiful.

“Yes,” he says. His voice comes out sounding strange. Noctis frowns at him. Then he frowns at Ignis.

“He OK?” he says.

“I think he needs a moment,” Ignis says.

He needs a moment. He needs many moments. There’s so much to look at. So much to understand. He never imagined that a place like this might exist. He knew for a long, long time that there was a place called outside. But here it is. Here it is.

He looks down. The seat faces all the green. There’s so much of it. But if he looks down, he just sees a small amount. The green hair that covers the ground. It’s beautiful. Each hair is long and narrow and flat, wider than head-hair. He sharpens his vision and sees that each hair is divided into two parts, with a small tube running down the middle. He wonders what the tube is made of, and what the flat part is made of. It looks like some sort of fabric. Plants, Noctis said. He doesn’t know what plants are.

He looks at Noctis. Then he looks back at the ground. Noctis is sitting back on the seat, one arm extended along the back of it. He raises an eyebrow at him.

“Hope you’re not gonna spew,” he says.

Sometimes he doesn’t understand what Noctis says. That’s true of a lot of people, but it seems to be worse with Noctis for some reason.

Noctis leans forward. He points at the green hair.

“Hey,” he says. “This is grass. Like in the photo. You asked about it, right? Here it is. But you’ve seen it before, right?”

He shakes his head. Grass. He remembers that Noctis said he could ask questions. His head suddenly spins with questions. But he forces them away. He forces himself only to think about this: this is grass.

“All of this?” he asks. His voice is hoarse. He makes a gesture at all the green.

“Nah,” Noctis says. “Just the stuff on the ground.” He points at the nearest pillar. “Those are trees.”

He remembers, suddenly, the first image from Lucis by Night Laus Venustas. The pole with the green fabric. Yes. It’s the same.

“Cenibrus tree,” he says.

“Huh?” Noctis says.

“No, that’s not a cenibrus tree,” Ignis says. “That’s a Duscaen sycamore.”

He blinks at Ignis. Ignis smiles.

“A sycamore tree,” he says. “There are many different types of tree. They’re called species. Cenibrus is one tree species. Duscaen sycamore is another.”

He turns to look at the pole. It’s a tree. Like the pole in the book. But different.

He looks around. He sees that the other poles and pillars – the other trees – are different. Yes. He can see the differences. He realises that the shapes and colours of the flat green objects attached to the branching structures have a systematic differentiation. Each pillar has only one type of green objects. But the green objects of neighbouring pillars may be different to one another. He remembers the image from Lucis by Night Laus Venustas. The green fabric pieces attached to the branching pole. What shape were they? Different, he thinks.

“The – species,” he says. He points high up, to where the green objects flutter in the moving air. “The different – fabric?”

Ignis looks confused. “Fabric?” he says.

He sharpens his vision to look at the fabric. “The green,” he says. “The green objects.”

Ignis looks at him for a long moment. Then his face clears. “The leaves,” he says. Then he lets go of his shoulder. He walks to the nearby tree – the Duscaen sycamore. He pulls off one of the fabric pieces. It’s wide at the end that’s connected to the branching pole, and then it splits into several points. He walks back over to him.

“Here,” he says. He holds it out.

He takes it. The broad, green fabric piece is attached to a narrow wire. The wire is what was attached to the branching system. The green is darker than the grass.

“They’re called leaves,” Ignis says.

He touches the leaf. Then he frowns. He touches it again. He brushes it against his palm. It doesn’t feel like fabric. It’s cool and smooth, a little leathery. He looks more closely. He sees that the leaf is defined by a complex network of delicate, branching lines, all extending from three main lines that branch out in turn from the wire that once attached the leaf to the branching system of the pole. The lines grow thinner the closer they get to the edge of the leaf. They must be wires, too, he decides. They’re what maintains the fabric in its shape, so that it doesn’t sag. But the network is much more complex and comprehensive than ought to be required for such a function. The edge of the leaf isn’t smooth, but has a series of jagged teeth. All of it is complex, which suggests that it must have an important function. And no matter how much he sharpens his vision, he can’t see any stitches.

His mind is full of questions. So many questions, and at the back of his mind, he’s aware that he has so many questions about this one object, and that there are thousands and millions of objects in this place. He grips the edge of the seat to steady himself.

“What’s it made of?” he asks. He looks at Noctis.

Noctis looks at the leaf. “Uh,” he says. “I dunno. It’s a leaf. It’s... made of leaf, I guess.”

Ignis sighs very quietly. “It’s made mostly of cellulose and lignin,” he says. “The tree synthesises the materials as it grows.”

He looks at Ignis. He does’t know what cellulose and lignin are. But he knows what grows means. Humans grow. MT units grow. Rats grow. Pillars do not grow. Fabric does not grow.

He looks back at the leaf. He doesn’t understand. He feels as though there’s something important on the edge of his understanding. But he can’t bring it into focus.

Then Noctis says, “Yeah, it’s like, photosynthesis. The tree makes leaves out of sunlight and air. It’s kinda cool, actually.”

He looks at Noctis. He thinks he must have heard wrong. How can the tree make something out of sunlight and air? Sunlight and air are nothing. They’re insubstantial. How can something be made out of nothing?

“I’m glad to hear you’ve been paying some attention, at least,” Ignis says to Noctis. But he sounds very far away. It’s hard to hear him over the sound of his heart, which is suddenly pounding very loudly in his ears. His chest feels too tight, and he can’t pull in enough air. He doesn’t understand. Here, in this place, he realises how very little he understands. About the trees, the grass, the sky. About the world. How little he understands about the world.

“Hey,” Noctis says. His voice is sharp. “What’s the matter?”

He tries to swallow, but his mouth is dry. Ignis’ hand is on his shoulder again. He focuses on it. It’s solid. It’s something solid. He feels his chest expand a little.

Noctis puts a hand on his other shoulder. “Prompto?” he says. “You OK?”

He coughs. “Yeah,” he says. His voice sounds even worse than before.

“Sure, I’m totally convinced,” Noctis says. “Seriously, plant science isn’t that bad.”

Noctis’ hand on his other shoulder feels solid, too. He feels pinned to the seat, one hand on each shoulder. His head stops feeling like it might float away.

“It’s a lot to take in,” Ignis says.

“Not like there’s going to be a test,” Noctis says. He turns to him. “You get that, right?”

His throat starts to ache. His eyes are prickling. Then Noctis’ eyes widen.

“Wow, shit,” he says. “No, don’t cry.” He holds up his hand with the palm towards him. He shakes his head. “Uh,” he says. “Ignis, do something.”

Ignis crouches down next to him. He puts an arm across his shoulders. It’s like when Cor was holding him, except Ignis is only half-holding him. But it doesn’t feel like it did last time Cor held him. It feels warm. He doesn’t want to push Ignis away.

“Can you tell me why you’re crying?” Ignis asks. He sounds very calm.

He swallows. He doesn’t know why he’s crying. He already knew he was stupid, that he didn’t understand anything. He’s never functioned as well as the other MT units. But he didn’t realise the sheer scope of his stupidity. He remembers that the people here don’t even know how to reprogram him. They don’t know how his system functions. So they won’t be able to fix him. He thought they would know. He was wrong about that. And now there’s all this, too. He doesn’t understand anything at all.

“How can trees make something out of nothing?” he asks, because he can’t think of what else to say. At least if he understands this, he might not be quite so stupid any more.

Ignis looks surprised.

“It’s actually rather complex,” he says. “But the simplest answer is that they use the energy in sunlight to remove carbon atoms from the air. Then they use these carbon atoms to construct new tissues for themselves.”

He blinks. He expected an answer that he didn’t understand at all. But this – he understands that gases are made out of substances. He understands that carbon is a substance. He didn’t know that carbon could be in air, but if it can – and he knows that any mechanical process must have a power source. He doesn’t understand exactly how plants can use the sun as a direct power source, but it seems plausible. He doesn’t understand any of the fine details of the process Ignis described, but it all seems plausible. And then – it’s like the rain. It seemed impossible that water could simply fall out of the sky. And then Ignis explained how it could happen, and it didn’t seem impossible any more. And that was the sun, too. It’s all because of the sun.

“Do you understand?” Ignis asks.

“Yeah,” he says. He swallows. He tries to think of what to ask next. He understands now that the trees contain a mechanism that allows them to create their own parts, and this seems like an extraordinary advance in technology. But it seems strange it should be used on objects that, so far as he can tell, simply stand still. He can see no weapons or moving parts. The trees seem to be anchored to the ground. He wonders why they were constructed.

“What’s the purpose of the trees?” he asks.

Ignis frowns at him, but he doesn’t look angry. He looks thoughtful. “Ultimately, to reproduce,” he says. “Just as with all other living things.”

He’s had the feeling for some time that he’s on the edge of something. And now he falls over that edge. He feels his stomach swoop.

“Living?” he whispers.

Ignis nods, smiling as though he’s understood something. “Yes,” he says. “The trees are living beings. The grass, too. Everything you see here. It’s all alive. It grows and reproduces, just like people.”

He opens his mouth. Then he closes it again. He turns and looks. He sees: the grass, thousands and millions of green hairs rising up from the ground. The trees, dozens of pillars, all rising up from the ground. Each tree branching, and each branch covered in hundreds of leaves, and each leaf with its own shape, and perhaps its own network of delicate, branching wires. And the trees made those leaves themselves, out of sunlight and air. The grass is alive, and the trees are alive, and the trees make their own bodies out of sunlight and air.

He knows: humans are alive, and MT units are alive, and rats are alive, and there are other organisms, too, though he doesn’t know many. And now he knows that that’s not all. That’s only the beginning. It’s the beginning of something enormous, too big to fit into his mind. It’s the beginning of this, all of this that he sees in front of him.

All of this green.

“Hey,” Noctis says. He jabs at his arm with the tip of his finger. “You’re freaking out again.”

He doesn’t know what freaking out means. But Noctis doesn’t wait for a response. He grabs his arm.

“Come on,” he says.

Noctis stands, and he stands, too. Noctis pulls him over to the tree. Duscaen sycamore. They walk past it, beside the pillar, underneath the branching system. He hears sounds, now. The rush of the leaves as the air moves through them. There’s no air-conditioning system, no fan. It’s like the rain. It must be like the rain. There’s an explanation for the air moving, he just doesn’t know it yet. And other sounds: like chimes, but irregular, high, sweet. Like music, but less organised. He doesn’t know where these sounds are coming from. But there’s an explanation. He just doesn’t know it yet.

He looks at the pillar as they pass. Its surface is light brown, and uneven. It’s covered in runnels and it swells in some places. Above, the first branches split from the pillar, thicker around than his leg. They taper as they travel further from the pillar. And there are the leaves. So many leaves. When he looks up at them, he sees how they move in the moving air. They make patterns – complex, irregular, but he has a sense of a deep, underlying regularity. The light shines through some and reflects off others, and it’s – beautiful.

And the tree is alive.

“Hey,” Noctis says. “This way.”

He follows Noctis. Behind them, the silent one and the one with the images are following. But they stay a few paces back and they don’t speak. Noctis goes out from under the tree. He walks across the grass – it feels soft and springy under his feet, nothing like the pavement or the road or the floors inside the buildings. They pass another tree, and another. Here is one of the patches of colour. It’s even more bright and varied close up. He sees that the coloured objects are attached to the ground by green wires. Everything green is attached to the ground, like the grass. The grass is like hair growing out of the ground. And it’s alive. So – perhaps it truly is growing out of the ground. Perhaps all these – these plants are growing out of the ground. As though the ground’s alive, too. As though the whole world is a great, living, breathing organism.

Noctis passes through a green curtain. The curtain is made of leaves. They’re attached to branches that are so thin that the weight of the leaves causes them to hang down. The leaves trail on the ground. He passes through, and the leaves brush against his face, against his arms. He reaches out to touch them. They feel cool and soft.

And now they’re underneath this tree. It’s smaller than the others, only twice his height. The branches hang down on all sides, the leaves making a green curtain all around the tree. The light makes the leaves look bright and fresh. The inside of the curtain is filled with it, a strange, dim, green light. It’s like being inside, even though it’s outside. He wants to stay, to breathe in the strange green scent, to look at the green light, and at the tree, and at the leaves.

But Noctis is passing back out through the curtain, and he follows. He reaches out to touch the leaves as he passes. They brush against his face. He feels a swelling in his chest.

On the other side of the curtain, Noctis has stopped. There’s a pool there. It’s not like pools he’s seen before. The sides aren’t made of concrete or metal. The water isn’t clear. The edges aren’t sharp and square. The ground slopes down, and in the depression, there’s dark green water. It’s opaque, and there are leaves floating on the surface. All around the pool are trees like the one they just walked through.

“This is cool,” Noctis says. “I’ve seen some monster fish in here.” He glances back at the silent one and the one with the images, then lowers his voice. “You can get here direct from the Citadel, if you know where all the shortcuts are. I’ll show you some time when we can ditch these guys.”

He understands about half of what Noctis says. But Noctis doesn’t seem to be waiting for a response. He sits down heavily on the grass by the pool, then gestures like he wants him to sit down, too. So he does. The grass feels soft underneath him. He puts the palms of his hands down and feels how cool it is. It feels strange, all the individual hairs against his palm. He threads his fingers through. It feels strange. And good.

Noctis leans back on his own hands. “Do you think Ignis thinks about photosynthesis and cellulose every time he looks at a plant?” he asks, his voice still low. He sighs and smiles a little, then glances back to where Ignis is emerging from the green curtain. “Sometimes you just want to enjoy it without thinking about it, you know?”

He doesn’t know.

And then he does. He looks at the pool of green-black water, and the green curtains of the trees all around it, and the uneven grey sky up above. He smells the strange green scent, and he hears the rush of the leaves and the irregular chimes. And he doesn’t really understand any of it. He knows that it’s mysterious, and astonishing, and that he doesn’t even know how much more there is that he doesn’t understand. But suddenly, that doesn’t feel bad. It feels good, all of it, swelling in his chest until he thinks it might burst. The whole world is alive. The whole world. There’s so much. He hasn’t even started to understand yet. But he can look at it already. He can look at it without understanding it. Maybe he can even look at it without thinking about it, like Noctis said. Maybe that’s a way to start.

He takes a deep breath.

And he starts.

Notes:

So, I guess Prompto needs more than one chapter to deal with his Feelings About Plants.

Chapter 18

Notes:

For those who missed it last time, more art! Prompto pressing the button by Furunui, and Ignis comforting Prompto, by Paigeyleighwolf. Thank you guys so much!

Also thanks to LiaLox for some inspiration for this chapter ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They sit there for a long time. The one with the images and the silent one stand behind them and watch. Ignis goes somewhere else. He can’t see through the green curtains of leaves to see where Ignis has gone. He wants to ask a question, but since Ignis isn’t there, he has to ask Noctis.

“Why is the water that colour?” he asks.

Noctis frowns at the pool. “Um,” he says. “Because – to hide the fish.” He glances around. “Where did Ignis go?” he mutters.

“I don’t know,” he responds. He stares at the water. He doesn’t know what fish means. There could be anything in the water, it’s so dark. He wonders how deep it goes. He wonders how big the fish is.

Noctis is staring at him. “How come you’ve never seen plants before, anyway?” he says. “Where did you live before?”

“In a training facility,” he says. He thinks about the training facility. There were no plants there. Everything was made of metal and plastic, and there were no windows. Thinking about it makes him feel cold. He looks up at the sky and sees that there’s a hole in the uneven grey surface, and through the hole he can see blue. Yes, it’s like Ignis said: the sky is blue, and the grey is clouds covering the sky. He can see that now. Seeing it makes him feel less cold.

“Huh,” Noctis says. He turns to look at the water again. He’s quiet for a little while. Then he says, “You didn’t ever go outside?”

He shakes his head. “I’m a level two,” he says. Level twos don’t go outside.

Noctis glances at him and raises an eyebrow. “O...K,” he says. “And that means what, exactly?”

He stares at Noctis. He didn’t expect Noctis not to understand. “I’m a level two,” he says. He doesn’t know how else to explain it.

Noctis raises both eyebrows, now. “Yeah, still not getting it,” he says.

He stares at Noctis. Noctis stares back. He tries to think of how to explain it. If he were Ignis, he would be able to explain. Ignis is good at explaining. But he doesn’t know how. He’s never even thought about it before – what it means, to be a level two. He thought everybody knew about levels. But he remembers that Ignis said they don’t know how to reprogram him. And there are no other MT units. He hasn’t seen a single one. So maybe they don’t know anything about MT units here.

“I–” he says, but there isn’t anything to follow. He stops and thinks. “It’s – you start at level one and you don’t go outside until you’re level five.”

Noctis frowns. “How long does it take to get to level five?” he asks.

He doesn’t know how to answer the question. “It takes – five levels,” he says. “You have to go through five levels.”

“Yeah, obviously,” Noctis says. “But, like – how many years?”

He knows what year means. It belongs in the phrase production year, which refers to part of the identification code marked on each MT unit’s arm. He tries for several seconds to make this fit with the way Noctis used the word. But he can’t. He doesn’t want to ask Noctis what he means by how many years, because he knows he definitely ought to know. He feels suddenly trapped. The open feeling in his chest starts to disappear.

Noctis puts his head on one side. “Like – how much time,” he says. “Right? How much time does it take?”

Oh. How many years is the same as how much time. But he doesn’t know how to measure how much time. Many, many days, but he doesn’t know how many. More than he can keep track of, certainly. He doesn’t know how many days he was a level one before he became a level two. He doesn’t know how many days he’s been a level two.

“A lot,” he says at last. “A long time.”

Noctis seems mostly satisfied with this response. He taps his fingers on his knee, frowning at him. Then he sighs.

“That really sucks,” he says.

He doesn’t know what Noctis means. He knows what all the words mean individually, but he doesn’t know what they mean when combined in that way. He tries to think of possible meanings, but none of them seem to fit. Then he remembers: Noctis said he could ask questions if he didn’t know something. And he has asked questions, and Noctis hasn’t been angry. And Noctis doesn’t seem to be disgusted by his stupidity. And–

And he wants to understand what Noctis says. Talking to Noctis is confusing, but it also makes him feel good. He’s not sure why. But he thinks he would feel even better if he understood what Noctis was saying. So he takes a deep breath.

“What does it mean?” he asks.

“Huh?” Noctis has turned back to staring at the water. Now he looks around. “What does what mean?”

That really sucks,” he says. “What – what does it mean?”

“Oh.” Noctis stares at him for a moment. “Yeah, shit, sorry – I guess – I should have figured you wouldn’t know.”

He feels his face start to get warm. Noctis understands that he doesn’t know many things. He knows that. But even so, he wishes he hadn’t asked. He’s just reminded Noctis of how poorly he functions.

“Hey, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” Noctis says. “It’s OK not to know. It’s not like you’ve had much of a chance to be around – uh, normal people, right?” He shakes his head. “It means it’s bad. It sucks means it’s bad.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about what he said, and what Noctis said in response. “It takes a long time because there’s a lot of training and enhancements.”

Noctis looks confused again. “What?” he says.

He swallows. Even though Noctis told him what that really sucks means, he’s still finding this conversation difficult to follow. “That’s why it takes so long to get to level five,” he says. “Because there’s a lot of training and enhancements. Level five MT units have to function perfectly. It takes a long time.”

Noctis stares at him. Then his face clears. “That’s not what I meant,” he says. “I didn’t mean it sucks that it takes so long to – get to level five, or whatever the hell. I meant it sucks that you never got to go outside or see any plants, even. That sucks ass, dude. Seriously.”

He frowns. Now he understands: Noctis thinks it was bad that he was in the facility, that he wasn’t allowed to go outside. He’s not sure what sucks ass means when compared with simply sucks, but they’re probably closely related. He’s also not sure why Noctis thinks it was bad. All MT units are kept in the facility until they’ve begun to function perfectly, or until they’re found to be defective and terminated. Maybe Noctis doesn’t know that. He doesn’t seem to know very much about MT units.

A thought suddenly strikes him that makes him feel very cold. If the humans here don’t know about MT units, if they don’t have access to the reports from the facility, maybe they don’t realise that he’s supposed to be in a facility? That he’s not supposed to go outside, or do any of the things he’s been doing for the past little while? Maybe that’s why he’s here. He’s here because no-one except him knows he’s not supposed to be here.

He should tell someone. He knows he should. He even opens his mouth to tell Noctis. But then he doesn’t. No words come out. If he tells someone, he’ll be taken back to the facility. He’ll certainly be corrected and most likely modified for failing to inform anyone earlier. He may be terminated. Even if he isn’t terminated, he’ll be back in the facility. And even though he knows that’s where he’s supposed to be, sitting here, on the edge of this pool, looking at the sky and the trees – the thought of going back makes him feel like his chest is being crushed.

So he doesn’t say anything. Noctis doesn’t seem to notice his hesitation. He’s staring at the water.

“No fish today,” he says. He gets to his feet. “Come on, there’s some other cool stuff over here.”

He stands up. He tries to think of something other than the fact that he should tell Noctis about the facility. He wants to keep talking to Noctis. He can’t think of anything to say. So he thinks about all the things he doesn’t understand. Maybe he can ask Noctis questions. He thinks of a question.

“Why does it sucks mean it’s bad?” he asks. “Suck means to exert pressure by forming a vacuum. Is it bad to do that?” He doesn’t want to make an error and do something that’s considered bad.

Noctis turns to stare at him, eyes widening. Behind him, the one with the images makes a sound like a muffled snort.

“Uh,” Noctis says. His cheeks are darkening. “It’s because – it’s –” He looks wildly around. “Fuck, where’s Ignis when you need him?”

The one with the images laughs openly now. He slaps his hand on Noctis’ shoulder.

“Jerk,” Noctis mutters. Then he shakes his head. “It’s just a saying. It doesn’t mean it’s bad to – uh, to suck... things.” He coughs, and the one with the images makes a sort of wheezing sound. “Fuck, let’s go, come on.”

So they go. They pass through the green curtain again, and the green scent intensifies. He wants to stay there and look at the way the light shines through the leaves, but Noctis is still walking, so he follows. They pass out through the curtain, and instead of going back to where they were, they turn left, walking through a place where there are many more trees and they’re much closer together. Here the light is dim and the ground is covered with smaller leaves rather than with grass. He wonders if the smaller leaves are also made by the trees or if there is another mechanism. In some places, there are spots of light on the ground, and these move when the leaves above shift in the moving air. He stares at the moving spots of light. It’s beautiful.

“Hey, come on,” Noctis says. He realises he’s stopped moving. Noctis is a few paces ahead, looking back at him. He hurries to catch up. Noctis frowns.

“Are you sure there isn’t something wrong with your back?” he asks.

He shakes his head. If there was something wrong with his back, he feels sure he would feel it.

“Walks like an MT,” the one with the images mutters.

“Yes,” he says. He is an MT unit, so he walks like one. He’s not sure why Noctis thinks this is strange.

Noctis makes a dismissive noise. “Come on,” he says.

They keep walking. After a few paces, the trees start to get thinner again. Then they come out onto a wide stretch of grass. It’s the same one they were on before, he sees, but now they’re further from the entrance gate. He looks back to where they sat when they first arrived, and he sees Ignis is there. He’s sitting on the wide wooden seat. Next to him is Cor.

“Huh, there he is,” Noctis says. But he doesn’t go in that direction. Instead, he turns the other way.

His chest hurts. His heart is beating in his throat. But he follows Noctis. He sees there’s something half-hidden behind a group of trees. That’s what Noctis is heading towards. When they come close enough to see around the trees, he sees it’s another pool. This one, though, is raise and made of stone. It has a stone facsimile of a person standing in the middle of it. The person has their head tilted back, and water spouts from their mouth up into the air, then lands in the pool. It’s a very energetic spout, and the water is white with bubbles. Part of the sky is blue, now, and the water looks very white against the blue and the green.

“Here, look,” Noctis says. He points into the pool. There are large round leaves floating on the surface, but the water isn’t as dark as in the other pool. Below the leaves, he suddenly sees a flash of white and orange, moving in the depths of the water.

“There!” Noctis says. He grins at him. “Did you see it?”

He saw it. He stares. “What is it?” he asks.

“Uh, a fish,” Noctis says. He frowns. “Wait, you don’t know fish, either?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. He didn’t catch a clear enough glimpse of the object in the water to see what it looked like.

“Seriously,” Noctis mutters. Then he sighs. He turns to stare at the pool. He waits. Then he points.

“There,” he says. “That’s a fish.”

He looks. He sees: a white and orange shape moving through the water. The shape is lensoidal, like the leaves, but not flat: it bulges at the sides. There are flat, wide blades at the back end and at the sides that ripple in the water. At the front end, there’s a hole where bubbles come out and two small round buttons or lights (currently extinguished).

He stares at the fish. It moves apparently under its own power, and it’s able to bend in the middle with great suppleness. He wonders what it’s made of. He wonders what its purpose is. It’s far too small to contain troops, but perhaps it has weapons attached to it, controlled remotely. Or perhaps it’s some kind of reconnaissance device.

“I mean, it’s an ornamental one,” Noctis says. “Wild ones are way cooler, plus they’re more of a challenge. These guys’d be no fun, even if you were allowed to catch them.”

He nods. He watches the fish for a while. But he’s not really thinking about it. He’s thinking about Cor. Cor is sitting at the other end of the green stretch of grass with Ignis. He turns to look at them. Ignis is standing, now. His arms are folded. He’s staring down at Cor. Cor is sitting with his head in his hands.

He sharpens his hearing. He hears the end of a word, and then suddenly water splashes on his face. He starts, turning sharply, to see Noctis staring at him. One of his hands is in the water. He realises that Noctis splashed the water at him.

“Are you even listening?” Noctis asks. He looks like he’s trying not to smile.

He puts his hand up to where the water landed on him. His hair is wet. He feels cold. Was this – a correction? Did Noctis correct him for not listening? But – it wasn’t very pleasant, but it wasn’t like a correction. It didn’t hurt. So – why did Noctis splash him?

The one with the images is sitting against the edge of the pool a few paces behind Noctis. Noctis has his back to him. The one with the images leans over casually, and then brings both his broad palms together and scoops at the water. A plume of water rises and collapses over the back of Noctis’ head.

Noctis jumps and turns. “Hey, what the hell?” he says.

The one with the images grins at Noctis. “Sorry,” he says. “Thought we were splashing people.”

“Oh, yeah?” Noctis says. He drops his hand into the water and throws some of it at the one with the images. The water catches him full in the face. The one with the images splutters and leans forward, and he starts to think maybe he’ll have to act. He has no understanding at all of what the splashing means, but Noctis did it when he didn’t listen, so it must be bad. And now the one with the images is doing it to Noctis. He doesn’t know how bad it is, but he feels sure he should protect Noctis from it. He doesn’t want to get it wrong, though. He doesn’t want to get it wrong.

Then, Noctis laughs. He’s splashing the one with the images, and the one with the images is splashing back, and Noctis is laughing. The one with the images laughs, too. And he realises that it’s not bad. It can’t be bad because they’re both laughing. He sits back. His heart is beating very fast. He doesn’t understand what’s happening.

Noctis raises his hands. “OK, all right,” he says. “I surrender.”

The one with the images stops splashing. “Wimping out already?” he says. “Thought you were made of sterner stuff.”

“Sure, whatever,” Noctis says with a shrug and an eyeroll. But when the one with the images takes his hand of out the water, Noctis suddenly leaps forward. He pushes his hands into the water, and a huge wave rises, crashing over the one with the images.

The one with the images sits still and silent. His hair is plastered to his head. His shirt is soaked. He spits out a mouthful of water.

“Well played,” he says.

“You guys are scaring the fish,” says the silent one. He’s sitting by the pool a few paces away. Noctis and the one with the images turn to look at him. He shrugs. “Just saying,” he says.

Noctis sighs and leans back against the edge of the pool. “Wow, I’m really wet,” he says. He doesn’t sound angry, though.

He doesn’t understand what happened. But the splashing – it seems like Noctis found it pleasing. The one with the images found it pleasing, too. And Noctis did it to him. So – what does that mean?

He sits back, trying to think about it. But he’s distracted by what he sees. At the other end of the stretch of grass, Ignis is sitting next to Cor again. Ignis has a hand on Cor’s shoulder. Cor still has his head in his hands. As he watches, Ignis takes a notebook out of his pocket. He hands it to Cor. Cor takes it and opens it. He sharpens his hearing, but neither of them is saying anything. Cor sits and reads the notebook. Ignis sits beside him. Neither of them says anything.

Then Cor stands up. He hands the notebook back to Ignis. He starts walking across the grass towards them.

His heart speeds up again. His hands are sweating, and he clenches them into fists and holds them at his sides. He watches Cor coming closer. Noctis turns to him.

“Guess it’s hometime, huh?” he says.

Then Cor arrives. He stands in front of them. He has to crane his neck to see him, and the light’s behind him so his face looks dark. His heart’s pounding in his ears, making his head ache.

“Your Highness,” Cor says. “Gladio. You guys mind giving me a minute with the kid?”

“Come on,” the one with the images says. He stands up, and Noctis stands, too. He swallows, but his throat is dry. He wants to ask them to stay. But he doesn’t. He just watches them walk away. The metal strap around his throat feels like it’s tightening. His heart feels like it’s inside his head, trying to fight its way out through his skull.

Cor sits down on the grass. His face is clearer now. He sits with his knees bent and his arms resting on them. He stares at him.

“Ignis says you had a good day,” he says.

He thinks. He’s learned so many things today. Seen so many things. The world is so much bigger than he ever realised. The space inside his head seems bigger, too, except that now it’s filled with his thundering heart. But before, at the beginning of the day, the test – but no, he understands that. They had to determine if he was a danger to the supreme commander and Noctis. He understands that.

“Yeah,” he says. “It was good.”

Cor nods. He smiles, but he doesn’t look like he usually does when he smiles. “He says you like plants.”

“Yes,” he says. He opens his palm, feels the grass underneath it, all the little hairs. It helps a little.

Cor sighs. He runs a hand over his face. “Kid,” he says. “I’m sorry about what happened. I know it was – awful. You didn’t deserve that. I’ve got no excuses, I’m just – really sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t know why Cor’s sorry. He understands the purpose of the test. Why should Cor be sorry, to run a necessary test? It doesn’t make any sense. The metal strap feels tight around his neck. His throat burns. He doesn’t understand why Cor’s sorry.

Cor stares at him. He doesn’t know how to respond. He’s worried that if he opens his mouth, he’ll make some kind of sound instead of speaking. So he keeps his mouth shut and tries to swallow around the burning in his throat.

Cor runs a hand through his hair. “Let’s go home,” he says. He stands up. He holds his hand out.

He’s not sure what the hand is for. He stands up, too. Cor takes his hand back. His mouth turns down at the corners.

“All right,” he says. His voice sounds strained. “Let’s go.”

They go. They walk back towards Ignis along the stretch of grass. Overhead, the clouds are breaking up into smaller patches of grey. He wants to look at it, but he doesn’t want to take his eyes off Cor. He wants to make sure he does everything right, so he doesn’t need to be tested again.

Noctis catches up with them when they’re almost to where Ignis is sitting.

“Hey,” he says, walking beside him. “You going home?”

He looks at Cor.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Sorry to break up the party.”

Noctis shrugs. “Whatever,” he says. They’ve reached Ignis now, and they stop. “You’ll be around tomorrow after school, though, right?”

He looks at Cor again. Cor nods.

“The kid and I – we’re going to hang out tomorrow morning,” Cor says. “Spend some time together. But after school should be OK.” Cor looks at Ignis. Ignis smiles faintly and gives a slight nod.

“Cool,” Noctis says. “See you.”

“See you,” he says, because that’s what Noctis always says when one of them is leaving. Then Cor takes his arm and starts to lead him away. He has to concentrate not to pull his arm away, but after a moment, Cor lets go anyway.

“Sorry,” Cor mutters.

He doesn’t know why Cor keeps saying he’s sorry.

But he doesn’t ask.

~

They drive back towards Cor’s apartment. But partway there, Cor takes an unfamiliar turn. He drives down a road, makes another turn, then drives some more. Finally, he drives into another flat, wide area where there are lots of cars. He stops the car.

“We’re going to drop in here for a few minutes,” he says. He pauses, looking at him. “Keep the sunglasses on.”

“Yes,” he says. He gets out of the car and follows Cor towards a building. The building’s door is open, and they walk in.

Inside, there’s an unusual smell. It’s a little like the green scent from the place with all the plants, but not quite the same. There’s a darker undertone to it, and the air is more humid. They pass through a large room filled with all kinds of objects, most of which he doesn’t recognise. He doesn’t have time to look at them, though, before they’re passing out through another door into a much larger room. This room has a very high ceiling, and the windows are enormous. The room is filled with light. It’s also filled with objects that he hasn’t seen before. But he recognises the type of object they are: they’re plants. They’re not grass or trees, but they have leaves and green wires, and some of them have the colourful parts attached to them that he saw before. There are hundreds of different kinds, and each one rises out of an individual vessel, rather than out of the ground.

“After what Ignis said, I thought you might like one for your room,” Cor says.

He doesn’t understand what Cor means. But Cor isn’t Ignis or Noctis – he can’t ask Cor. So he just nods. “Yes,” he says.

“Great,” Cor says. He looks around. “Shit,” he mutters. Then he waves a hand at a person walking past. She’s wearing a green shirt.

“Hey,” he says.

“Can I help you?” the one with the green shirt asks.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “I want to get a plant for my – uh.” He stops. “My–” he says again, and gestures towards him. “I don’t know anything about plants. Neither does he. But he wants one. So – what’s a good one?”

The one with the green shirt smiles at him. “I definitely approve of getting into plants,” she says. “What colour would you like?”

He swallows. Cor looks at him. It’s clear he’s supposed to respond. “Green,” he says. Looking around the room, he sees that some plants aren’t green. Not just the colourful parts, but even the leaves aren’t all green. But green is the most common colour. And green makes him think of the great expanse of grass and the trees and their moving leaves.

“Well, that’s easy enough,” the one in the green shirt says. She starts walking, and they follow her. “Now, I do recommend cacti for beginners,” she says. “But if you’d prefer something more leafy there are plenty of easy-care plants to look at.” She stops in an area where there are lots of vessels, but the objects in them don’t look like plants. They’re mostly green, but there are no leaves or wires. Instead, they seem to be mostly globular greenshapes, spheroidal or ellipsoidal. Sometimes there are multiple shapes which are all attached to one another, sometimes there’s only one shape. Most of them are covered in sharp-looking spikes.

“You want one of these?” Cor asks.

He looks around. He’s still not sure exactly what Cor is expecting from him. The globular shapes are strange, and the spikes are unappealing. He doesn’t know what the function of these objects is.

“This one’s very popular,” the one in the green shirt says. She points to a small, spheroidal object with many spikes.

“You want that one?” Cor asks.

He knows he needs to respond. “Yes,” he says. The one in the green shirt smiles wider.

“Excellent,” she says. She picks up the vessel, with the spheroidal object in it. “Now, this one needs watering about once a month or so. There are instructions on the label.”

Instructions. She says there are instructions. Good. Maybe once he can read the label, he’ll understand what he’s expected to do.

They start walking back towards the door they came through. They pass a lot of plants on the way. One they pass has deep red leaves with a green border. He stares at it. He’s never seen anything quite that colour before.

Cor stops walking. “You like that?” he asks.

He looks at the plant. The colour makes something in his chest hurt. But it feels nice. Not like how his chest hurts when he looks at Cor.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “We’ll have that, too,” he says.

“Well, that’s a little more difficult to look after,” the one in the green shirt says.

“We’ll cope,” Cor says. “The kid can have whatever he wants.” He turns to him. “Hey. You tell me when you see something you like, all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He looks around. He likes everything. All the plants are beautiful. He’s not sure what Cor wants from him. He wishes Cor would be more clear in his instructions. He tries to find something he likes more so that he can follow orders without making Cor angry. He sees a plant with yellow coloured parts. Each yellow part has five-fold symmetry, with five thin plates, each triangular and slightly curved, extending from a pit in the centre. The yellow parts are maybe half a centimetre across and the yellow is very bright among the green leaves.

“That one?” he says.

The one in the green shirt smiles. “Excellent choice,” she says. “That one’s very hardy.”

She reaches out and picks it up. Now she’s holding three vessels, two with plants and one with the spheroidal object.

Cor nods. “Anything else?” he says to him.

He breathes in. He’s starting to feel exhausted from his heart beating too fast all the time. It feels as though days have passed since he got out of bed in the morning. He wonders if Cor will keep making him choose plants until there are none left to choose.

“Perhaps three is enough to be going on with,” the one in the green shirt says. She’s smiling at him. “Wait till you find out whether you’ve got a green thumb or not, hm?”

Cor’s looking at him. The one in the green shirt is looking at him. He’s not sure how to respond. He already knows his thumbs aren’t green. His throat starts burning again.

“Yeah, OK,” Cor says. “We’ll take those. Maybe we’ll come back for some more another time.”

He starts walking again. They go through the door back to the smaller room with all the objects. The one in the green shirt sets the plants and the spheroidal object down on a table. Then she presses some buttons on a device that sits on the table. The device makes sharp, bright chimes when she presses the buttons. There are numbers on an LCD screen at the front, and these change, going up as she presses the buttons.

“That’ll be fifteen thirty,” she says.

Cor pulls an object out of his pocket. He opens it like a book and pulls out a rectangular piece of plastic. He presses the plastic to a small device that’s on the table next to the chiming device. There’s another chime. The one in the green shirt smiles.

“Thank you,” she says. “And now, water them as soon as you get home, and don’t forget to follow the instructions.”

“Don’t worry, he will,” Cor says. The one in the green shirt puts the plants and the spheroidal object in a bag. Then she holds the bag out to Cor. He takes it, and holds it out to him.

“OK,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

~

In the car, he sits with the bag on his lap. He holds it carefully to make sure the vessels inside don’t fall over. His heart’s still beating too fast, and he’s aware every time Cor moves or sighs in the seat beside him. But he peers down into the bag and he sees the leaves and the yellow objects with their symmetry. It makes him think of the wide open sky and the trees with the green curtains by the pool. And that makes his chest hurt less.
When they get back to Cor’s apartment, Cor tells him to put the vessels out on the kitchen table.

“Let’s look at these,” Cor says. He takes a white piece of plastic out of the vessel that contains the spheroidal object. He peers at it, grunts, then holds it out. “I hope you’re better with plants than I am, kid,” he says.

He takes the white plastic. It’s covered in small writing. He sharpens his vision.

They’re instructions.

He grips the plastic harder. Water thoroughly, it says. Check soil every week. When soil is dry, water thoroughly and allow to drain.

They’re instructions. But he’s not sure what they mean. He knows what water is, but here it seems to be used in a different sense.

Cor turns to the sink. “She said to water them all when we got back, so–” He fills a glass with water. Then he pours the water into the vessel with the plant with red leaves. Then he fills the glass again and does the same to the plant with yellow parts.

He watches carefully. Water here means pour water onto. He reads the instructions again. He understands.

Cor looks at him. “You’re going to have to be in charge of these, if we want them to survive the night,” he says. “That OK with you? Just follow the instructions and hopefully they’ll be fine.”

“Yes,” he says. He understands: his orders are to follow the instructions on the white label. He sees the two plants have white labels, as well. He hopes they have instructions on them, too. His chest feels suddenly a little less painful. He has orders, and he knows how to implement them.

“Great,” Cor says. He pours water in the vessel belonging to the spheroidal object. Then he sighs. “Kid,” he says, “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to buy your forgiveness. OK? You don’t owe me anything for this. I just – Ignis said you liked the plants, so I wanted to get you something.”

He doesn’t understand. “Yes,” he says.

Cor stares at him. Then he sighs. He covers his eyes with one hand.

“Shit,” he mutters. “This has been such a fuck-up of a day.”

He’s not sure if Cor wants him to respond. After a moment, Cor swallows and takes his hand away from his eyes.

“Take your plants up to your room, kid,” he says. “Make it feel more like it’s yours.”

He picks up the vessels. He frowns down at them. He looks up at Cor.

“Mine?” he asks. He wants to make sure he understands what Cor wants, so he doesn’t make an error.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “They’re yours, now. Look after them, OK?”

He looks down at the plants. Something starts to unfold in his chest. But he doesn’t let it, not yet. He pushes it back down. He turns and goes out into the hall. He climbs the stairs, the silent one following behind him. He goes into the room where he sleeps. He closes the door. He puts the plants and the spheroidal object on the table. Then he sits in the chair and looks at them.

They’re yours. That’s what Cor said. He even confirmed it when asked for clarification. They’re yours.

The thing in his chest starts to unfold again. MT units don’t have possessions. Nothing is his. Nothing belongs to him.

But Cor said they’re yours. He said your room. Make it feel like it’s yours.

He looks around at the room. It’s familiar, now: the window, the bed, the table, the image hanging on the wall. He can’t quite grasp it, what Cor meant. But the thing in his chest unfolds and unfolds.

He reads the labels from each of the plants. Both contain instructions to place the plants somewhere with lots of light. So he puts them on the little ledge beside the window. He puts the spheroidal object there, too. The light from outside shines through the leaves of the red plant, and the colour looks bright and deep and rich, all at the same time. The yellow parts of the other plant remind him of the sun. Even the spheroidal object looks better now that Cor’s said they’re yours.

He touches the leaves of the red plant, and then of the one with yellow parts. He touches the yellow parts, too, and finds that they’re soft and very smooth. He touches the spikes on the spheroidal object. They’re remarkably sharp.

They’re yours, Cor said.

He sits down on the bed and stares at them, lined up along the window. His orders are to follow the instructions on the labels. To look after them. And he will.

He will.

Notes:

No-one has as many Feelings About Plants as Prompto. No-one.

Chapter 19

Notes:

I'm posting this from the airport on my way overseas for a month, so updates after this might not be quite as frequent. Rest assured I'm still feeling pretty inspired, though!

Chapter Text

When he wakes up in the morning, the first things he sees are the plants and the spheroidal object, lined up against the window. The light comes in at a low angle at this time of day, and it shines through the leaves of the red plant, making them look like they have a deep, glowing light of their own. He lies still for a number of seconds, watching them. Inside, he feels very quiet.

He gets out of bed and goes to check the plants. The instructions for each plant were different, but all of them instructed him to check them to see if they were dry. The red plants needs to be checked every day; he understands this. The plant with yellow parts needs to be checked every week. He doesn’t know what week means, but he got up several times in the night to check it, in case week is quite a short period of time. But the material out of which the plant grows was still quite damp each time, so now he thinks perhaps a week is quite a long time. The spheroidal object also requires checking each week.

He checks all three, touching the material out of which they’re growing. All are still damp. The instructions don’t say to do anything else, so he doesn’t. Instead, he touches the leaves of the red plant. They feel rough under his fingers. When he looks closely, he sees they’re covered with thousands of tiny hairs. The hairs seem to sparkle in the light. He touches the leaves of the plant with yellow parts; they’re very smooth, like plastic. He considers the spheroidal object for some time, wondering where it fits in. Then he realises the light is changing: he should go downstairs.

Cor is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking the strong-smelling drink he and Ignis like. He stops in the doorway, willing his heart not to speed up too much. Cor nods at him.

“Morning,” he says. “Sleep well?”

“Yes,” he says. He goes to sit down at the table. The vessel with soup in it is there, as always. He opens it and pours out a cup.

“Thought we’d do something together today,” Cor says. “I’ve got some time off.”

He wonders what Cor means when he says do something together. He wonders if something means another test. His heart seems to jump in his chest at the thought. He forces his breathing to stay slow. If there’s another test, he’ll take it. He’ll do everything he can to pass it. He passed the last test. Cor didn’t realise he’s defective, even though he tested him. Maybe he can pass this one, too.

Cor looks at him. “How does that sound?” he asks, after a long pause.

“Yes,” he says, hoping that it’s an adequate response. Cor’s mouth turns down at the corners, and he thinks it wasn’t adequate. But Cor doesn’t get angry. He just sits, mouth turned down.

“Great,” he says at last. He drinks the rest of his drink. “We’ll go whenever you’re ready.”

~

They go in the car. The silent one comes with them. But they don’t drive to the towers with the purple light. Instead, they turn, and then they drive for a long time between buildings that get smaller and smaller. Cor doesn’t say anything, and so he doesn’t, either. The buildings get smaller, and there are fewer people on the sides of the roads, and fewer cars. And after a long time, there’s no more buildings. Instead, there’s trees.

He stares out of the window of the car. He saw trees yesterday, in the place with all the plants. But there were only a few dozen, mostly fairly thinly scattered, with wide stretches of grass between. Here, there are hundreds of trees. Perhaps thousands. They’re on both sides of the road, stretching as far as he can see. There’s no grass: underneath the trees, in the green gloom, there are more leaves, of smaller plants, like the ones Cor gave him to take care of. In some places, there’s nothing at all, just ground covered in some kind of brown carpet. But everywhere, there’s trees.

Cor glances at him. “There’s not a lot of wilderness left within the walls,” he says. “Even this isn’t true wilderness. But it’s nice to get out of the city sometimes. I thought you would like it.”

“Yes,” he says. He does like it. It’s amazing. Until yesterday, he’d never seen trees at all, except in the image from Lucis by Night Laus Venustas, and that was before he knew what a tree was. Now there are thousands. And all of them are alive. He feels the swelling start again in his chest, as he looks ahead and behind and to either side and sees nothing but trees. All of them are alive.

Then, he remembers the plants that he left behind in Cor’s apartment. He’s supposed to check the plant with yellow parts and the spheroidal object every week. But he doesn’t know how long a week is. And now they’re a long way from the apartment and he can’t check them. Has it been a week yet since he last checked them? He doesn’t know.

The swelling feeling in his chest disappears. He feels cold and itchy. Should he say something to Cor? He should have thought to bring the plants with him. Or ask Cor before they left. A week is probably longer than a day. But what if it isn’t?

He shifts in his seat. He glances at Cor. Cor is looking ahead at the road. He looks away. He clenches his fists in his lap. Should he say something to Cor?

He glances at Cor again. But Cor’s glancing at him at the same time. He looks sharply away. But it’s too late: Cor saw him.

“You OK?” Cor asks. “You need to make a pit stop?”

He doesn’t know what a pit stop is. “No,” he says, hoping it’s an appropriate answer.

Cor doesn’t respond to this. He keeps glancing at him, though, looking at the road, then back at him. He feels his heart start to speed up. He’s done something wrong. He’s said something wrong.

Then, suddenly, Cor slows the car down. He turns off the road and stops under the first trees. He turns off the car and then turns to look at him.

Now, he thinks. This will be another test. The strap around his throat seems very tight. What if he fails the test? Maybe Cor will send him back to the facility. Maybe they do know that he’s not supposed to be here, and that’s why they tested him.

“Kid,” Cor says. Then he stops. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel. He doesn’t know what his expression looks like: he doesn’t dare to look and find out.

“Listen,” Cor says then. “I know I fucked up. All right? I know I – I know you and me aren’t – getting on too great right now. But if you’ve got something to say, you can say it. If you’ve got a question – Ignis said you have a lot of questions.” He pauses. “So, you can ask them. Any questions you want. It’s all right, nothing bad’s going to happen.”

He stares at his hands. He wishes Ignis was there. Cor said it’s all right to ask questions, but – but he doesn’t know if he believes Cor. Sometimes Cor says things and then – it’s a test. He did once, anyway. What if this is a test, too? What if it’s to test how stupid he is or – something else? His stomach hurts, and his heart is loud in his ears.

Cor sighs. He turns to face the front and grips the steering wheel in both hands.

“Please, kid,” he says. His voice is very quiet. “I don’t know what to do, here.”

He glances at Cor, surprised. Cor doesn’t know what to do? How can Cor not know what to do?

Cor’s not looking at him. He’s looking forwards, out of the big front window at the road. He looks – strange. Like he’s tired, maybe. He doesn’t look angry. And he said he didn’t know what to do.

He swallows. He hesitates. But he needs to know, because of the plants. He needs to know. Maybe it’s a test. But his orders are to look after the plants. There’s no maybe about that. So.

“How much time is a week?” he asks.

Cor looks at him, then. He looks surprised. But he doesn’t look angry. “Uh,” he says, “seven days.”

He leans back a little in his chair and lets his hands relax. Seven days. So he doesn’t need to worry about the plants. And – Cor isn’t angry.

“Thank you,” he says.

Cor stares at him. “You didn’t–” he starts. Then he stops. He flexes his hands around the steering wheel. “I’m glad you asked me,” he says. “I wouldn’t want you to keep not knowing stuff just because you were scared to ask me.”

His throat is dry. But his stomach hurts a little less now. “Yes,” he says.

Cor keeps looking at him for a moment longer. Then he says, “Is that what was bothering you? Wanting to know how long a week was?”

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Cor says. “You can ask whatever you want.” He sits in silence for a moment. “How come that thing?” he says eventually. “Why was that thing in particular bothering you?”

He hesitates. If he tells Cor, Cor will know he came out here without knowing whether the plants would be all right or not. But Cor ordered him to come. Maybe it’s a test, but maybe – maybe it’s not. How can he know?

He can’t know. The metal strap feels heavy on his throat. But he asked Cor and Cor answered, and he didn’t seem angry. He even seemed pleased. So – so –

Maybe it’s all right.

“Because of the plants,” he says. He holds his breath. His stomach’s churning. What if it’s the wrong thing? What if it’s a test?

“The plants?” Cor says. He frowns like he’s confused.

“Yes,” he says. He tries to swallow, but his throat is dry. “I need to check them once a week. But I didn’t know how long it was.”

Cor doesn’t say anything for a long moment. It’s long enough that he thinks his heart might burst out of his chest. Then Cor shakes his head.

“Right,” Cor says. “Of course.” He runs a hand over his face. “Hey, uh,” he says. He stops. His leg is moving – bouncing up and down. “You know – you’re doing a great job,” he says. “With the plants. It’s great.”

He swallows. He hasn’t done anything with the plants yet except check them for dampness. He’s not sure if that’s what Cor means. “Thank you,” he says. He feels strange. Nervous.

“Yeah, no problem,” Cor says. He looks straight ahead. Then he looks at him. “I meant that thing about asking questions,” he says. “You can ask. Anything you want. All right?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks at him in silence. Then he sighs.

“Yeah,” he says.

He starts the car and pulls back out onto the road.

~

They drive for a while longer. There are still trees everywhere. He doesn’t feel as bad now that he knows that he’s not made an error with the plants. But he doesn’t feel good like he did before. He doesn’t feel the swelling in his chest. Instead, he feels like he’s waiting for something. But he doesn’t know what. He can’t look at the trees for long, because he doesn’t like looking away from Cor for too long. Even though Cor isn’t doing anything. He feels like something’s not right, but he doesn’t know what it is.

Eventually, the road comes to a place where there’s a flat, wide area with lines painted on it, like outside the place with the plants the day before. This time there are no cars. There’s a sign: Lake Suspirium Reserve. Cor drives into the flat area and stops the car.

“Thought we could take a walk,” he says. “The lake’s beautiful this time of year.”

He doesn’t know what lake means. “Yes,” he says.

“Great,” Cor says. Cor gets out of the car, so he gets out, too. Outside, it’s very quiet. He can hear irregular chimes, like he heard the day before, and he can hear the moving air rustling the leaves on the trees. The trees are very tall. He looks up at them and wonders whether they start small, like MT units, and then get bigger. Or do they start off tall? He tries to imagine how that could happen. But he can’t imagine where trees come from at all. He knows where MT units come from, but he doesn’t know where anything else that’s alive comes from.

The silent one gets out of the car. Cor turns and looks at him.

“Hey, kid,” he says, “go on ahead a bit, all right? I got to talk to Lacertus about something. Don’t go out of sight, though.”

He goes in the direction Cor points. He walks until he’s under the trees. He looks back. Cor and the silent one are still in sight. They’re talking. He looks up at the trees. It makes him feel a little dizzy. He closes his eyes and feels the air moving against his skin. Then he opens his eyes again, because he wants to see what Cor is doing.

The silent one is passing something to Cor. Cor looks angry. He puts the thing in his pocket. Then he glares at the silent one for a moment. The silent one shrugs. It’s too late for him to sharpen his vision to see what the silent one passed to Cor. He’s about to sharpen his hearing to hear their conversation, but then Cor turns abruptly away and starts walking towards him. The silent one stays by the car.

Cor is walking fast. He looks angry. But when he’s halfway to him, he stops suddenly. He clenches his fists by his sides. Then he draws a deep breath. His face smoothes out. He starts walking again – more slowly this time. By the time he reaches him, he looks like he wasn’t angry in the first place.

“Lacertus is taking a break,” he says. “Just you and me, kid.”

He nods. Cor starts following the path, and he walks beside him. He can’t hear any cars. There’s no quiet roar of engines like there is everywhere else in this place. There’s no humming like there is everywhere in the training facility. There’s nothing but the moving air in the leaves and the irregular chimes.

It’s so quiet.

The path winds up an incline. Cor walks beside him and doesn’t say anything. At first Cor walks fast, but soon he slows down. He wonders what the destination is. He wonders why Cor brought him here. He thought it would be a test, but now – he’s not so sure. He still feels like he’s waiting for something.

They keep walking up the incline. He sees sky through the trees at the top. The sky is blue, with some clouds. The sun shines, shafts of light slanting down through the trees. He sees tiny specks floating in the shafts, sparkling as they reflect the light. They move in a complex motion that’s almost mesmerising. But Cor is still walking, so he can’t stop to look.

Then they come to the top of the incline. And now he does stop, because he can’t keep walking any more. In front of them is a pool. But it’s bigger that any pool he’s ever seen before. It extends for perhaps a kilometre under the broad, blue sky. And the water – it isn’t black like the water in the pool the day before. Nor is it clear like the water in the pools at the facility. This water is opaque and a deep, dark blue. The moving air ruffles the surface into little waveforms. The sun hangs in the sky above the pool, and its light reflects from the water in a broad, shining stripe, as though there’s a path across the water leading to the sun itself. Far away, on the other side of the pool, there are more trees.

He breathes in. The air is cool. It feels fresh and clean in his chest. Everything in him seems to open. His chest. His mind. His heart.

Cor stops walking. He turns and comes back.

“You OK?” he asks.

“Yeah,” he says. It comes out sounding breathless, even though he feels like there’s more breath in his lungs than ever before.

Cor looks at him. Then he turns to look in the same direction as him. He looks at the lake, at the stripe of gold. He looks back at him.

“Pretty, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he whispers.

Cor smiles, then. He doesn’t walk anywhere. He just stands. He doesn’t say anything. Both of them just stand. He can hear the water lapping against the land without even sharpening his hearing. It makes him feel very quiet. Even though Cor’s standing beside him, his heart isn’t beating too fast. And Cor doesn’t do anything. He just stands there, looking out over the water. And that’s what they do. And then–

And then–

And then something moves. It comes out of the trees. It’s a small thing, maybe ten centimetres high, with two legs and no other obvious limbs. It hops out from under the trees towards them, and then it makes a strange, trilling chime.

He stares. The thing makes another hop towards them. It chimes again. It’s mostly brown and grey, with patterns on it. He sharpens his vision to see what it’s made of, and he sees that it looks very soft.

“What are you looking at?” Cor asks. He turns to look. He doesn’t seem to see the thing for a few seconds. Then he raises his eyebrows.

“You’re looking at that?” he says, pointing. “The bird?”

He glances at Cor. He doesn’t want to look away from the thing. It’s moving, now, poking at the ground with a cone that protrudes from its upper end. It moves jerkily, almost like an MT unit. Is it a machine?

Cor’s frowning now. “Do you know what a bird is?” he asks.

He swallows. The little thing is hopping about, just out of reach. It pokes at the ground. This is a bird. But he doesn’t understand what it is. And he wants to know. He’s never seen anything like this before. He wants to know what it is.

“No,” he says. He doesn’t dare look at Cor. But Cor doesn’t do anything. He just turns fully, and then puts his hands in his pockets.

“It’s a type of creature,” he says. “You know creature?”

“No,” he says. He feels stupid, but he also feels amazed at the little thing, the way it hops.

“Like – a living being. An organism,” Cor says.

“An organism?” he says. The little thing is an organism. “It’s alive?” Yes, that makes sense. He’s never seen a machine move in this way. He’s never seen a machine that looked so soft.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Here, look.” Cor crouches down, and gestures to him, so he crouches, too. Cor takes something out of his jacket pocket. It’s a paper bag. He pulls something out. It’s some kind of foods all jammed together. He recognises tomato, but everything else is still unknown. Cor crumbles part of the food and then throws it on the ground. The little thing – the bird – hops forwards and pokes at the crumbs with the cone at its upper end. He realises the upper end must be the head. The cone is some kind of mouth. The bird also has black spheres set on either side of its head. Those must be eyes, he thinks. The bird pokes until all the crumbs are gone. Then it raises its head and looks at Cor. It hops forwards, then backwards again.

“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?” Cor says. But he doesn’t sound angry. He’s not smiling, but he sounds like he might smile in a minute. Then he turns to him. “You want to feed it?”

“Yes,” he says. Cor holds out the foods to him, and he takes them.

“Just the bread,” Cor says. “Don’t give it any of the meat.” Then he pauses. “The bread is the white part.”

He feels a rush of relief for the clear instructions. He crumbles up some of the bread and throws it on the ground. The bird hops closer to him, poking with its strange mouth. Eating. When there’s no more bread, it looks at him. He sees it blink, and blinks himself.

“You like birds, huh?” Cor says. He stands up, shaking out his legs.

He’s only seen one bird. But he likes this one. It cocks its head on one side and opens its mouth, then makes that trilling chime again. And he realises he’s heard it before – in amongst the trees today, and in the place where Ignis and Noctis took him yesterday. It’s one of the irregular chimes he’s heard. He can hear them now, if he tunes his hearing correctly so he’s not just listening to very nearby sounds. The world seems alive with the irregular chimes.

Maybe the world is alive.

“The chimes,” he says. “Are they all birds?”

“Chimes?” Cor says. Then he shakes his head. “You mean all the – chirping? Yeah, that’s all birds.”

He sits down abruptly. He doesn’t mean to, but it just happens. All of a sudden, he can’t hear anything but the chimes. He moves his hearing through a range of distances and frequencies and there are so many chimes, all different types, far away and nearby.

“How many birds are there?” he asks, feeling his head start to spin a little.

“In the forest? Thousands, I guess,” Cor says. “That’s where they like to live.” He points up into the sky. “See?”

He looks. Up in the sky are three dark shapes. They’re small, but he sharpens his vision as much as he can and sees that they’re certainly not dropships. They’re much smaller and more irregular. He looks at Cor.

“They’re birds,” Cor says. “Birds can fly. Most birds, anyway.”

He looks back at the dark shapes, but as he does so, the bird that came out of the trees suddenly takes off. It flies by flapping limbs on either side of its body. These limbs are flat and wide, and he didn’t notice them before. The bird’s gone so fast that he’s barely able to recognise the mechanism of its flight. He stares after it. He wants to say something, but there are no words in his head. There’s only astonishment.

“Like that,” Cor says.

He looks up at Cor. Cor looks down at him. There’s an odd expression on his face. Then he lowers himself to the ground. He sits down next to him. He puts his elbows on his knees. He looks at him with that strange expression.

“You didn’t know,” Cor says.

He didn’t know. He doesn’t know anything. He feels stupid. But he also feels astonished. He looks up at the dark shapes in the sky, but they’re gone now. Everything in him feels fluid. There’s nothing solid any more.

Cor looks at him. Then he looks out to the lake.

“You told me you’d never been outside before,” he says, “but I didn’t – really think about it. I didn’t think about what it meant.” He shakes his head and sighs. “Maybe – I don’t know. But I should have been the one who figured out that you needed to go to the park. I should have figured a lot of things out.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I’m not good at this. I mean – that’s obvious, right?”

He doesn’t understand what Cor’s talking about. He’s trying to listen and understand, but even though he understands most of the words, the subject is obscure. And he keeps thinking about the bird. How it took off. It flew, with limbs he didn’t even notice it had. And it looked at him when he gave it food.

Cor pinches the top of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Get it together,” he mutters, so quietly he almost doesn’t hear. Then he takes a deep breath.

“You like the lake?” he asks.

He still doesn’t know what lake means. “Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. He looks out over the water. “Ignis says you have a lot of questions,” he says. “Do you – want to ask anything?”

He thought it was a test. But now – he’s not sure any more. He thinks maybe it isn’t a test. Cor answered all the questions he asked, and he didn’t seem annoyed by his stupidity. And he gave him foods to feed the bird. But Cor tested him before. He doesn’t know. But Cor seems – different. Cor’s sitting on the ground. He didn’t expect that.

“What does lake mean?” he asks.

Cor stares at him. He frowns.

“You said you liked the lake,” he says.

He realises his mistake. He’s revealed that he responded even though he didn’t understand. His mouth goes dry.

But Cor doesn’t do anything. He just looks at him and frowns. Then he rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “OK.” He nods. Then he points at the water. “This is a lake,” he says.

He looks at the water. It looks like a big pool. But dark blue, and with a golden stripe of sun glowing in the middle.

“It’s not a pool?” he says. Cor answered the question about the lake. He wants to be sure he understands the answer.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “A lake’s like a big pool.”

He looks at the lake. He thinks about the pool he saw the day before. Noctis said it was dark coloured to hide the fish. “Does it have fish in it?” he asks.

“Sure,” Cor says.

He looks at the pool – the lake. He imagines the fish moving under the surface. He wonders why the lake has fish in it. He wonders why the lake is there at all. Why would someone create such a big pool out here? There doesn’t seem to be anything else out here. Just trees and birds, and him and Cor.

They sit there in silence for a while. But he doesn’t feel the same any more. The feeling of waiting for something to happen has died away. Now he feels empty. But not in a bad way. He feels cool and clean inside, like he’s full of the air that moves off the lake.

“There’s a river nearby,” Cor says at last. “You ever seen a river before?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. Cor nods.

“You know what river means?” he asks.

He shakes his head again. He feels stupid. But Cor only gets to his feet.

“It’s easier to show you than to explain,” he says. “Come on.”

So he stands up, too. He follows Cor. They walk along the edge of the lake. The golden stripe moves with them, so that it always seems to be leading from them towards the sun. Sometimes now he sees dark shapes in the sky, and he recognises that they must be birds. He hears them all around in the trees, different kinds of chimes. Sometimes he recognises the sound of the bird that came out of the trees to be fed. He wonders if he’ll see that bird again.

After a little while, though, he hears another sound. It’s a sort of rushing sound, like a distant, loud machine. It gets louder as they keep walking, until he can’t hear the lapping of the water or the rustle of the moving air in the leaves any more. He thinks they must be close to the machine. There’s a small incline ahead of them, and he thinks the machine must be on the other side.

They climb the incline. And on the other side is: water.

Water. But it’s moving. It’s moving in a great mass, a wide ribbon of water, flowing so fast away from the lake that looking at it makes him feel dizzy. It’s flowing so fast that it’s white with bubbles. The surface of the water undulates, it splits around rocks, it foams where the water meets the land. It’s the water that’s making the rushing noise. It’s not a machine. It’s just water.

He’s never seen so much water.

“This is a river,” Cor says. He has to talk loudly to be heard over the sound of the water.

He stares at it. River. The river starts in the lake. It’s not possible to see exactly where the lake ends and the river begins. And the river flows away, into the trees, and there’s no visible end to it. All this water. He tries to estimate the speed of the flow, the width and depth of the river. How much water passes through the river every second? He hadn’t ever imagined there could be so much water. But it seems that outside is full of water. Water hangs in the sky until it falls down. Water is collected in enormous pools. Vast quantities of water simply flows along the ground. He stares at the river. He can’t even think of any questions. He feels dazed simply by watching the endless rushing of the water.

Cor stands silent for a while. He’s watching him. Then he speaks.

“Huh,” he says. “You’ve got freckles. I didn’t see them before.”

He looks at him. He doesn’t know what freckles are. Cor glances up towards the sun and looks thoughtful.

“Guess maybe no-one’s ever seen them before,” he says, barely loud enough to be heard over the sound of the river. Then he leans down. The edges of the river are littered with stones of various sizes, and Cor picks one up. He throws it into the river. The stone disappears with a splash. Cor picks up another stone and throws again. Another splash. He wonders what Cor’s doing. What’s the purpose of throwing stones in the river? Then Cor turns to him.

“You want to try?” he asks.

He doesn’t know why Cor wants him to throw stones in the river. But he leans down and picks up a stone. He throws it, watching the splash as it disappears. He picks up another one, looking at Cor to make sure it’s all right. Cor nods at him and he throws it. It splashes into the river. And – there’s something satisfying about it. Something that makes him want to do it again. He doesn’t know why. It seems irrational. But he wants to anyway.

He looks at Cor. Cor’s not smiling. But he looks pleased. “Keep going, if you want to,” he says.

So he does. He throws three more stones. The last one he throws is large. The water droplets splash almost a metre above the surface. Cor makes a noise, half-breathing out, half-unintelligible word. “That was a good one,” he says. Then he turns to him. “Can I show you something?”

He nods. Of course Cor can show him something. Cor can do whatever he likes.

Cor picks up a stone. Then he throws it in a strange way, sideways. The stone hits the water at a low angle. Then, instead of disappearing under the water, it bounces. It bounces into the air again before coming back down to hit the water. Then it bounces again. It bounces three times before sinking below the water.

“Tsk,” Cor says. “I’m out of practice.”

He stares at Cor. Then he stares at the water. Stones are heavier than water. Water is not solid. How did the stone bounce off the water instead of sinking? He looks back at Cor.

Cor laughs. “Don’t even ask me,” he says, raising his hands palm-outwards. “It’s some kind of physics thing. I don’t know how it works.”

He closes his mouth. Cor doesn’t know how it works. He starts to engage the mathematical element in his brain to try and calculate how it could be possible. But then Cor speaks.

“I could show you how to do it,” he says. He hesitates. “I mean, if you want.”

He stops calculating. Maybe he can calculate later, when he knows how to do it. It seems to him that knowing how to do it will have more utility than knowing the mathematics behind it. And he wants it more.

“Yes,” he says. “Please.”

Cor nods. “All right,” he says. “You gotta look for a flat rock, first.”

He looks at the ground. He selects a stone and holds it out. Cor examines it.

“Flatter,” he says. He holds his hand out flat. “The rock hits the water like this,” he demonstrates, “and that’s what stops it from falling in. If it’s not flat enough, it doesn’t work.”

He nods. He puts back the stone he found and looks for another. Eventually he finds one that’s very flat and round. He holds it out to Cor.

“Yeah, good,” Cor says. “OK, now, hold it in your hand like this.” He shows him the stone he has in his own hand. He has one finger curled around the edge of it, and the rest fits against his palm.

He imitates Cor’s grip. Cor looks at his hand and then reaches out and makes some adjustments of the positions of his fingers. His hand feels warm.

“Great,” Cor says. “OK, what you want to do is let it go and spin it at the same time with your finger, like this.” He moves his hand slowly. “But much faster. It needs to be as flat to the water as possible and it’s better if it’s spinning. Watch.”

He throws his stone with a twisting motion of his wrist. It hits the water and bounces – one, two, three, four, five times. Cor stands back, eyeing it critically, then turns to him.

“Want to try?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He stands at the edge of the river. He bends his knees a little like he saw Cor do. Then he twists his wrist and lets the stone go.

It hits the water and sinks. He stands, dismayed. He wishes he understood why he always functions so poorly.

“Not bad for a first try,” Cor says. “Angle was a little too high. Here.” He holds out another stone. “Try again.”

He looks at Cor’s face for any trace of anger or irritation. But he sees nothing. Cor looks – pleased. Even though he failed at the task. He doesn’t understand. But he feels something in him loosen a little.

He takes the new stone. It’s smooth and flat. He wonders where the stones come from. But he doesn’t think too much about it. Instead, he concentrates on holding the stone correctly.

“You gotta relax a little,” Cor says. “If you’re too tense, it won’t fly right. Here.”

Cor reaches out and loosens the grip of his fingers on the stone. Then he looks him up and down and reaches out again. He adjusts his stance, turning him so that he’s more sideways-on to the water. He doesn’t seem annoyed or impatient by the fact that his stance was incorrect. He just adjusts it. His hands are warm.

“OK,” Cor says. Cor puts his hand out, wraps it around the back of his hand. “It’s all in the wrist,” he says. He takes hold of his hand and moves it backwards and forward, twisting the wrist. “Like this.” He lets go. “Try it now. Let go real fast.”

He tries to remember all the different instructions. But mostly he remembers how Cor twisted his wrist. The instructions weren’t verbal, but they were very clear. He takes a deep breath, then brings his arm round and twists his wrist. The stone flies from his hand and hits the surface of the water. And – it bounces. Once, and then again. Then it sinks.

“Yeah!” Cor says. “Nice job, kid.”

He turns to look at Cor. Cor’s smiling at him. A broad smile. He’s hardly ever seen Cor smile like that. It makes him look different. And – it makes him feel different. It makes him feel warm inside. He wants to make Cor smile like that again. And he wants to make the stones bounce over the water like Cor can, like they’re as graceful as leaves in the moving air, even though they’re made of rock.

He looks around and finds another stone that’s the right shape. He doesn’t pick it up, though. He looks at Cor. He doesn’t want to ask. But he wants to try again.

“You want another try?” Cor asks.

“Can I?” he asks. He’s torn between relief that Cor understood what he wanted and concern that he wants the wrong thing.

Cor’s still smiling.

“Sure, kid,” he says. “We got all the time in the world.”

Chapter 20

Notes:

Managed to get some writing time on my jaunt! Hope you guys enjoy! And hoo boy, have I got some art for you!

@ginkohs made this adorable comic in which Prompto tries to skim stones and then is amazed to discover that Cor's really proud of him awwwwwww I am a mess of emotions over how adorable it is :D :D :D The expressions in this one are just too cute and Cor looks so happy. I want to smush them both.

Hell13th made this beautiful picture of Prompto looking after his plants and being astonished that something could belong to him. I love how much Prompto clearly adores his plants in this one -- maybe even his poor cactus! Damn, it makes my heart grow at least three sizes ♥

And on the theme of Prompto and plants, Paigeyleighwolf made this delightful somewhat surreal picture of how much Prompto feels soothed and buoyed up by his plants. I definitely recommend looking at this one full size to get the full force of Prompto's tiny, contented smile. Kid has so many Feelings About Plants, I swear. ♥

Huge thanks to all the artists -- I am so delighted with the amount and quality of fanart this story's been attracting! Every time someone links me to a new piece it just brightens my entire day. Please show the artists some love and support for all their hard work. Thank you thank you! ♥♥♥

Chapter Text

They throw stones for a long time. Sometimes, Cor makes the stones bounce. Sometimes he just throws them and watches them disappear with a splash. There doesn’t seem to be any pattern, any kind of rule he can deduce, so he just watches Cor carefully and does whatever he does. When it’s time to make stones bounce, he concentrates on everything Cor told him to do. Sometimes, the stones he throws bounce across the surface of the river like they’re lighter than air, five, even six hops. Sometimes they sink immediately, the water foaming over the top of them.

Cor watches when he throws the stones. The best is when he manages to make them bounce: then Cor looks pleased. Sometimes he says things, like great job or you’re a natural or look at that one go. The things Cor says always sound good, even though he doesn’t always understand everything. They sound like Cor thinks he performed adequately. More than adequately. Cor thinks he performed well. It gives him that feeling, like something in his chest is swelling. It’s hard to describe even to himself, because it sounds like it should be painful. But it isn’t. It feels good.

The part he doesn’t understand is what happens when his stone doesn’t bounce, or when it only bounces once before it sinks. Because then Cor doesn’t say anything. Even though he’s watching, he doesn’t reprimand him for his poor performance. He just watches and shrugs. Sometimes he holds out another stone. Mostly he just acts like it never happened.

He thinks about it while he’s looking for another flat stone. Cor seems to care about his good performances. But he doesn’t seem to care about the bad ones. It’s mysterious. But it’s good. Even when his stones fail to bounce, the good feeling in his chest doesn’t quite go away, because Cor doesn’t seem to mind his incompetence. The more they throw the stones, the lighter and calmer he feels, like something’s lifting away from him. The rushing sound of the river is like a blanket, wrapping itself around them. He can’t hear anything else, not even the irregular chimes of the birds. He knows he could filter out the river noise if he adjusted his hearing carefully, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to. The noise is like a wall, keeping them in a world apart, where nothing can get to them.

After a long time, Cor steps back. He goes to sit on a boulder with a flattish top. He stands, looking at Cor, uncertain. Should he keep throwing stones? Cor’s just looking out at the river, but when he sees him looking, he raises his eyebrows.

“You want to sit down?” he says. He inclines his head towards a second boulder, beside the one he’s sitting on.

He should sit down. That’s what Cor wants him to do. He goes to the boulder and sits. Cor doesn’t say anything, just looks out at the river. So he doesn’t say anything, either. He watches the water endlessly rushing past. He feels the sound of it like a cushion around him. He feels calm.

After a while, Cor speaks. “I can’t remember the last time I came out here,” he says. Then he laughs a little. “Shit, I can’t remember the last time I had a day off.” He looks at him. “Pretty sad, right?”

He doesn’t know the correct response. He looks at Cor, hoping to gauge it from his expression. Cor’s face changes, though, and he looks away.

“Yeah,” Cor says, looking down at his hands. “Hey, listen – I want to tell you something.”

He listens. But Cor doesn’t say anything. He just looks at his hands, then at the river. He doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t look like he wants to tell him something. But he said he did.

He’s starting to think he’s misunderstood something when Cor suddenly speaks again.

“I’ve never–” he says, then pauses. “No, that’s not the right way to say it,” he mutters. He shakes his head. “I’m not really – a people person,” he says. “You know? I mean – it wasn’t like I never wanted to have – anyone, but it just – didn’t happen.” He frowns. “I’m not saying this right. I’m trying to say – for a long time, there was really – nothing in my life outside work.” He rubs the back of his head. “It sounds pretty sad, but – yeah, it’s pretty sad. It wasn’t on purpose, just – that’s how things turned out. And I thought – OK. That’s how it’s going to be. That’s how things have shaken out, and – I can live with it. I’ll make that my life, and it’ll be as good as I can make it.” He sighs. “And when I brought you home with me – it was just because I couldn’t bear to see them lock you up, you know? It wasn’t meant to be anything – it wasn’t meant to change anything. So I didn’t change anything. I didn’t – ease off on the work or – try to get to know you better. I guess I thought – hey, do something good, but don’t get attached, right? That’s not what your life is about. But then after I couldn’t wake you up that time, and then when Juvenis shocked you and your heart monitor shut down...”

Cor stops talking. He looks out at the river. He hasn’t looked at him once, all the time he’s been talking. He wonders if maybe Cor’s not even talking to him. He doesn’t understand very much of what Cor’s said, even though he knows most of the words.

“Ignis is right,” Cor says, then. He still doesn’t look at him. “I haven’t been fair to you. If I’m going to do this thing, it’s all or nothing. I can’t just – half-ass it.” He glances at him. “So maybe – my life’s not about what I thought it was about.”

There’s silence, then. Cor glances at him again. He wonders if he’s supposed to respond.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks at him properly, then. He looks surprised. Then he laughs. He rubs the back of his head.

“Shit, kid,” he says. “You didn’t understand any of that, did you?”

He swallows. But Cor hasn’t been angry with him at all, not when he hasn’t known things, not when he’s failed at bouncing stones. “No,” he says.

Cor closes his eyes. He shakes his head. “Probably for the best, anyway,” he says. Then he opens his eyes. “Forget all that,” he says. “Listen. I’m not good at this – at helping you. But I want to be. I’m trying to be better. So I want you to tell me if I say or do anything that makes you feel bad. All right? Just – I want you to tell me if you feel bad. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” he says. He feels bad a lot. But if he’s only supposed to tell Cor when it’s Cor that makes him feel bad, maybe that won’t be too difficult. Except Cor makes him feel bad a lot.

Cor nods. “Thanks,” he says. “I appreciate it.” And he reaches out. He puts a hand on his back, between his shoulder-blades. It feels warm. Cor looks out at the river, but he doesn’t take his hand away.

“You like it out here?” he asks.

He looks at the river. At the lake. At the sky, the golden stripe of water that leads to the sun. He listens to the rushing sound of the river, and feels the moving air on his face. “Yeah,” he says. He thinks this is the best place he’s ever been.

Cor’s looking at him with his head tilted. He’s frowning a little, but not like he’s angry. “Noctis teach you to say that?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. Noctis told him it was appropriate, but now he suddenly wonders if Cor might not agree. “Should I stop saying it?”

“No,” Cor says. “It’s good. It makes you sound – like a kid.” He taps his fingers on his knee. “I’m glad the two of you are friends.”

He doesn’t know what friends means, but Cor’s pleased, so it’s all right. “Yeah,” he says.

And Cor smiles. “Yeah,” he replies.

~

After a while, Cor says they have to go back to the car.

“We need to get something to eat,” he says. “I should have brought something for us, but I didn’t think.”

So they go back, along the edge of the lake, then through the trees. They drive back into the place with all the buildings. The buildings get taller and taller, and soon he can’t see anything but buildings any more, stretching up higher than he can see out of the car window, and there’s cars and people everywhere. Even though the sky’s still overhead, it feels much smaller and more enclosed than it did before. He hopes Cor will take him back to the lake and the river one day.

They don’t go back to Cor’s apartment. Instead, they go to the towers with the purple light. As they drive, he thinks about the plants, still on the windowsill in the room where he sleeps. He hopes they’re enjoying the sunlight. Maybe they’re making new leaves out of it.

When they get to the towers, they go to see Ignis. He smiles at them when they come in.

“Hello,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting to see you so early.” He looks at Cor. “I’m afraid Noct is still at school, but if you want to leave Prompto with me to wait for him, I’d be happy to have him.”

“Actually,” Cor says, “I was thinking maybe I’d stay this time. If it’s not a problem for you.”

Ignis’ smile grows a little wider, and he gives Cor a small nod. “Of course,” he says. He gestures at the table, and Cor sits down, so he does, too. “Now,” Ignis says, “have you eaten?”

Cor shakes his head. “I was kinda hoping you’d offer,” he says.

“Excellent,” Ignis says. “Prompto, could you help me?”

He gets to his feet. “Yeah,” he says.

Ignis points to the counter. There are a number of spherical orange objects there. They’re the same colour as carrots and approximately the same size and shape as large onions, so he presumes they’re vegetables.

“These are oranges,” Ignis says. “I plan to make a fruit salad. Let me show you how to chop them.”

He watches carefully as Ignis chops one of the oranges. The outside of the orange is smooth and waxy. This is the skin, and Ignis tells him that it’s usually removed, though it can sometimes be eaten. This is familiar: he removed the skin of several other vegetables last time he was permitted to help Ignis. The skin of the orange is thick and the inside of it is white. But the rest of the inside of the orange is orange and very wet. It’s divided into segments by thin lines, and right in the centre there’s a tiny hole. The whole shape of it – the circular outside, the thick white border, the lines radiating from the centre – is very pleasing to look at. But Ignis doesn’t stop to look at it. Instead, he cuts the orange into quarters, removes the skin from each quarter, then chops each quarter into a number of wedge shapes. He puts the wedge shapes into a large bowl.

“There,” he says. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Very good,” says Ignis. “Then I will leave this in your capable hands. Let me know if you need anything.”

Ignis gives him the knife, and he takes the next quarter of the orange and begins to remove the skin. He’s about to start chopping it into wedges when he looks up and sees that Cor is watching him. He stops, knife poised. Cor has a strange expression on his face. He doesn’t look displeased, but he can’t interpret the expression.

Then Cor seems to shake himself. “Carry on,” he says. He looks away, at Ignis. “Hey, Ignis, you got that notebook?”

“Hm?” Ignis says, looking up from the stove. “Oh – yes, of course.” He takes a notebook out of his pocket. It looks like the same one from the park the day before. He walks over to the table and holds it out to Cor. “What did you want it for?”

“I want to make some notes,” Cor says. “If you don’t mind me writing in it.”

Ignis looks a little surprised. He tilts his head to one side. “By all means,” he says.

“Thanks,” Cor says. He takes out a pen and opens the notebook, then starts writing. Ignis turns to go back to the stove, then pauses, staring at him. He realises he’s watching Cor instead of chopping the orange, and he looks quickly back at what he’s doing.

“Sorry,” he says.

“No, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” Ignis says. “I just – noticed you have freckles. I hadn’t noticed before.”

He still doesn’t know what freckles means. But he busies himself with chopping the orange, and doesn’t ask.

~

After they’ve had lunch, Noctis arrives, followed by the one with the images. Noctis is wearing his blue clothes, with the string around his neck. He smiles when he sees him, then looks surprised when he sees Cor.

“Huh,” he says. “Hi.”

“Your Highness,” Cor says. “How was school?”

Noctis shrugs. “Same as always,” he says. He throws the bag he’s carrying on the floor, then sprawls on the couch. “What’d you do all day?” he asks him.

He looks at Cor. Cor raises his eyebrows, then nods at Noctis, like he wants him to answer. So he does.

“We went to a lake,” he says. “And a river. I saw a bird.” It feels like an inadequate description, but he doesn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah?” Noctis says. “You see any fish?”

He shakes his head. Noctis looks at Cor.

“Which lake?” he asks. “Suspirium?”

“Yeah,” Cor says.

“Huh,” says Noctis. “Yeah, it’s nice there.”

He thinks about the lake and the river. The bird. There must have been birds before, at the place they went to where he first saw plants. He remembers hearing them, the irregular chimes. If they go there again, he’ll look for them. He’d like to see more birds.

Noctis sits up, leaning over the arm of the couch. He’s frowning at him. “Did you always have freckles?” he asks.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what freckles are.

The one with the images grunts. “Got some sun, huh?” he says. He’s staring at him, too. “Makes sense, blondie like you.”

He looks at Cor, hoping for some indication of what the conversation is about. But Cor doesn’t say anything. He looks back at Noctis. Noctis frowns.

“You know what freckles are, right?” he asks.

He shakes his head. Noctis’ frown deepens a moment, then it clears.

“Like spots on your face,” he says. “You think he got them just from being out in the sun today?”

“And yesterday,” the one with the images says. “Guess they’ve been waiting for an opportunity for a long time.” The one with the images half-grins, looking at him. It makes nerves start to thrum in his stomach, so he looks away. He looks at Noctis.

“Spots on my face?” he says. He looks at Cor, then at Ignis. It sounds like a disease. A defect. “I feel fine.”

Noctis laughs. “Yeah, it’s not like, a rash or whatever,” he says. He pulls out his phone and raises it, pointing it towards him. “Here, look.” He turns the phone around and shows him the screen.

He stares, amazed. On the screen is an image. The image is of him. Him, sitting on the couch where he’s sitting now. Wearing the clothes he’s wearing now.

“That’s me,” he says. How does Noctis have an image of him on his phone?

“Yeah, I took a picture of you,” Noctis says. “See, look at this. Freckles.”

He looks at the image. Yes: there are spots on his face, especially on his cheeks and across the bridge of his nose. They weren’t there before. It makes him look ill. But he doesn’t feel ill. And he can’t quite concentrate, because he doesn’t understand how Noctis has an image of him on his phone. It’s two things he doesn’t understand at once, and he doesn’t know which one to think about first.

“It’s normal,” Ignis says. “Certain people with a fair complexion get freckles when they go out in the sun. Quite normal, and certainly nothing to worry about.”

He looks at Ignis, then at Cor. Cor nods. “It’s good,” he says. “Makes you look healthy.”

Healthy. It’s the opposite of what he thought. But then – all right. The spots are normal, somehow. But the image in the phone – he frowns at it.

“Seriously,” Noctis says. “Freckles are normal. Don’t freak out about it.”

He looks up at Noctis. He’s permitted to ask, he reminds himself. So he asks.

“How did you make the image?” he asks. It’s so strange, to see an image of himself. He’s seen himself in mirrors before, sometimes – more lately, since there’s a mirror in Cor’s bathroom – but he mostly doesn’t like to look at himself. But this – the image in the phone – this is so strange, to see himself as he was a few moments ago.

“Oh,” Noctis says. “I took a picture with my phone. Look.” He gets up and comes to sit next to him on the same couch. He shows him the phone. The image of him is gone from the screen. Instead, the phone shows a moving image of part of the floor, part of the small table, one of Noctis’ feet – all the things he can see behind the phone. “It’s a camera,” Noctis says. “When you tap this button–” He taps a white circle on the screen and the image freezes. “That’s it. It takes a picture.”

He stares at the phone. He knew, of course, that it was possible to make images – he’s seen them in the books Ignis shows him. And he knows about cameras – but cameras are for watching. When he’s seen cameras, they’ve always been watching, and they record poor resolution, black and white moving images. Nothing like the images he’s seen in the books, that are clear and sharp and in full colour. It hadn’t occurred to him that it was possible to make images like that with so quickly, so simply.

Noctis is staring at him, and he realises he should have responded to the demonstration. But he doesn’t know how to respond. He feels – confused, and he wants – to touch the phone, to take it and see how it works. But he can’t, so he clenches his hands into fists and swallows the feeling down.

“Here, look,” Noctis says. He taps another symbol on the screen and suddenly the image changes. Now it’s like a mirror, showing half of Noctis’ face and the very edge of his. “We can take a selfie.”

Noctis holds the phone out in front of him. “You’ve got to get in closer, or you won’t fit in the picture,” he says.

He doesn’t understand exacly what Noctis wants, but he shuffles closer to him. He sees that the screen is now showing most of Noctis’ face, but still only the edge of his.

Noctis sighs. “C’mere,” he says. He puts his arm around him, around his shoulders, and pulls him so that their faces are very close together. Now he sees them both on the screen, Noctis smiling, him looking worried and surprised. His face is covered with spots. Noctis feels warm, so close to him. It’s strange.

“Smile,” Noctis orders. So he smiles. It doesn’t look quite right – not like Noctis’ smile. But Noctis taps the white circle and the picture freezes, their two faces filling up the screen.

“There,” Noctis says. “I’d send it to you, but I guess they’re still not letting you have a phone, huh?”

He looks at Cor. Cor shakes his head.

“Sorry, kid,” he says. He sighs. Then he pulls out his own phone. “Hey – you can take one with this, if you want,” he says, holding it out. “Then you can look at it when we’re at home.”

He takes the phone and looks at it. “I can make an image?” he says.

Take a picture,” Noctis says. He looks at Noctis, and Noctis holds his hand out. “It’s take a picture, not make an image,” he says. “Here, let me show you.”

Noctis shows him which symbols to tap to get the phone screen to start looking at the world. “There,” he says. “Now you can take a picture.”

“Yeah,” he says, looking at the screen. It’s showing his knees. He stares, fascinated. He moves his knee, and the knee in the phone moves as well. He can take a picture. What should he take a picture of? He thinks he should take a picture of Cor, but then he remembers that it’s Cor’s phone so he’ll be able to see Cor when he’s looking at it anyway. So he should take a picture of Ignis or Noctis. He hesitates. But Noctis is closer, so he’ll fill up more of the screen. So he lifts the phone and points it at Noctis.

Noctis smiles and raises his hand with his fingers spread out. He taps the white circle, and the image freezes. He stares at it. This was what he saw. Normally what he sees just disappears – he sees it, and then it’s gone. Like the bird, flying away. But now what he saw is frozen in the phone screen. Noctis, holding his hand up, even though he’s not doing it any more. He thinks about all the things he’s seen in the last days. The trees and the grass, the lake and the river and the bird. He thinks about the books of images where he first saw a tree, and the one where he saw the woman whose skin didn’t fit right. All of those were things that the person who made the image saw, and then he saw them, too. Anyone could see them. Not like trying to remember something you saw. This was getting to keep something you saw. Maybe even show other people what you saw, so they’d realise how beautiful it was.

“You OK?” Noctis says. He’s frowning a little now. “You look weird.”

He realises he’s clutching the phone so tightly, his hand is starting to go numb. His head is spinning with a new sense of possibility. But he has to give the phone back to Cor. So he turns and holds it out.

Cor raises his hand. “You don’t want to take any more?” he says. “You can take as many as you want.”

He feels his eyes widen. As many as he wants? It’s a dizzying thought. But he knows Cor will want the phone back soon. So he doesn’t spend time thinking about what it means – as many as he wants. Instead, he nods, and raises the phone. He makes an image – takes a picture – of Ignis. Then he takes one of Cor. He stares at the image, Cor looking back at him from the screen. He’s not smiling, but he doesn’t look unhappy.

“You don’t want one of me?” the one with the images asks. “I’m the hottest guy in the room.”

He turns to looks at the one with the images. The one with the images looks back. He’s smiling, but it’s a strange smile, a sort of half-smile that he can’t quite grasp the meaning of. He raises the phone, and the one with the images grins wide. He taps the white circle. Now he’s taken a picture of everyone. He turns to look at the room. Then he looks at Cor.

“Can I take more?” he asks.

“Sure,” Cor says. “I said as many as you want, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” he says. He knows Cor said that, but he also knows Cor will want his phone back soon. He doesn’t want to want too many pictures.

He goes to the counter. There’s still half an orange, there. Ignis said there was enough orange in the fruit salad, so he didn’t chop the last half. The geometry of it seems perfect, the lines radiating out from the centre, the circular outline. He takes a picture of the half orange. On the screen, it doesn’t look quite as good as it does in real life. The orange doesn’t look as bright. He takes a second picture, but the problem is the same. It’s not quite the way he wanted it. But it’s still astonishing. He saw it, and now he can keep it. Or – Cor can keep it.

He turns to see that they’re all staring at him. He feels suddenly anxious. Maybe he did something wrong? Why are they staring at him, if he didn’t do something wrong?

Then, abruptly, Ignis clears his throat. “Marshal, have I told you about the report I wrote concerning the efficiency of the royal tailors?” he says, turning to Cor.

Cor looks at him with a confused frown. But whatever he sees in Ignis’ face makes his expression clear. “Right,” he says. “Tailors. Go ahead.”

And just like that, they’re all talking. They’re not looking at him any more. The tension in his shoulders eases. Cor still hasn’t told him to give the phone back, so he looks around the room. He goes to the window. Outside, the sky is still clear, with a few white clouds. Ignis’ room is high up, and he can see a long way, all the buildings. Far away, when he sharpens his vision, he thinks he sees a smudge of green, and he wonders if that’s where they were before, him and Cor. He raises the phone and takes a picture. But the smudge of green isn’t visible on the image, and everything else looks blurred. He frowns at it, and then tries instead to take a picture of something closer: the sun reflected in the windows of a nearby building. This one comes out better, but not as good as he wants. So he takes another one. He tries moving along the window, but it doesn’t seem to help. The image is similar to what he sees, but the sun in the windows isn’t as bright as he wants. He experiments, taking pictures of various parts of the scene he can see from the windows. He realises that the camera in the phone doesn’t have the same ability to see light and darkness at the same time as his eyes do. He adjust his vision, removing some of the contrast, darkening the colours, and he sees something similar to what the camera sees – flatter, less bright. So to make the camera see what he wants it to see, he needs to do the reverse of what he did with his vision. But how? Is it even possible?

“Hey,” says a voice at his elbow. He starts, realising suddenly that he’s been so absorbed in thinking about the images that he hasn’t been paying attention to what’s around him. He looks round to see Noctis standing there.

“You wanna play something?” Noctis says. “Cards or something?”

“Yeah,” he says. He wants to try and understand what the camera in the phone is doing, how it works. He wants to find a way to take pictures that look like he wants them to look. But Noctis wants to play cards. And he wants to play cards, too. It’s good, playing cards with Noctis.

“Hey, Specs, you got those cards?” Noctis calls.

Ignis looks up from his conversation with Cor. “In the drawer, where they always are,” he says. “Does Prompto want to play?”

“Yeah,” Noctis says. Noctis goes over to the table and sits down, and he follows. Ignis sighs and gets up to fetch the cards.

“What are you playing?” Cor asks.

“Why, you want in?” Noctis asks.

Cor looks at him. Then he looks at Noctis. “Yeah,” he says. “Deal me in.”

Ignis comes back to the table, and Noctis takes the pack of cards from him with a small smile. “In that case, we’re playing Altissian pick-up,” he says.

“Seriously?” the one with the images says. “OK, I’m in. I kill at this game.”

Noctis’ smile twitches a little. “Cool,” he says, sounding uninterested. He starts to deal the cards. “Guess you’re gonna win, then.”

~

The one with the images doesn’t win. He wins, four times in a row. Then they agree to stop playing. The one with the images looks at him strangely. But Cor smiles. “You’re really good, kid,” he says. “That’s great.” He doesn’t seem upset to lose at all. He just seems pleased. It makes the thing in his chest swell, like it did in the morning when they were bouncing stones on the water.

A little while after that, they go home. He feels tired, but when he goes to bed, he can’t sleep. When he closes his eyes, images from what he saw that day flash across his mind: the lake, the river, the trees. The bird, poking at the ground with its strange mouth and looking it him with its shiny black eyes. Bouncing stones on the water. Playing cards. The orange, with its radial symmetry. He thinks about the camera in the phone, thinks and thinks. He wonders if it could be modified so that it sees exactly what he sees. So that it makes perfect images. Some of the ones he’s seen in books have seemed perfect, but he doesn’t know what the person who made the image saw. He doesn’t know if there was something else that the camera didn’t see, that’s lost now even though the image is preserved. But the images he’s seen in books have had more colour, more light and darkness, than the ones he made with Cor’s phone. So he thinks there must be a way to modify the camera, or to use it differently. Maybe he can ask Cor or Ignis about it. He imagines what it might be like, to be able to take all the astounding things he’s seen in the last few days and make images of them. To be able to keep them forever. His head spins with the idea. He feels like everything’s moving around him. There’s something thrumming in his stomach, like he’s nervous, except he’s not – and it doesn’t feel terrible, like nerves do. It feels – good, he thinks. He can’t identify the feeling. It makes him feel like he wants to get up again. Like he wants to go and find Cor’s phone, and go outside, and make images.

He can’t do that. His orders are to sleep. But the feeling’s there. And it takes a long time for sleep to come.

~

When he opens his eyes again, everything’s changed. He looks at the window to see if the sun’s been turned on yet, but the window isn’t there. He frowns, sitting up. There was certainly a window there before. But it isn’t there now. There’s just a blank wall. The room is lit by a fluorescent light, in a strip overhead. He looks around in confusion. But he doesn’t have time to think about the things that have changed, because the door opens and Cor comes in.

“Get up,” he says. “We’ve got places to go.”

He scrambles out of bed and reaches for his boots. But Cor takes him by the arm.

“You don’t need those,” he says. He leads him out of the room and down the stairs. The silent one isn’t outside his door for some reasons. They don’t go to the kitchen to have breakfast. They go out to the elevator and down to the basement. In the basement, they don’t go to Cor’s car. Instead, they go to a bigger vehicle, a black one, with a large box at the back instead of the curved capsule of Cor’s car. There are no windows in the box, but there are two doors at the back of it that open outwards. Cor opens them and gestures.

“Get in,” he says.

He gets in. There’s a narrow bench along one edge of the box, and he sits on it. He looks at Cor. But Cor doesn’t look at him. He just closes the doors.

And then he’s alone. It’s pitch black inside the box, and cold. And he’s alone.

Maybe he falls asleep again, or maybe something else happens, but the next thing he knows, someone’s opening the doors of the box. And it’s not Cor. It’s not Cor. It’s a person dressed in a familiar uniform. The face is unfamiliar, but he recognises the uniform. And beyond the person, he recognises the room. The lights, the walls, the floor. The table with the straps attached. The humming of machinery. The metallic taste of the air.

“Get out,” the one in the uniform says. He scrambles to obey. His heart feels like it’s being crushed. His stomach rolls inside him. If he’d known – if he’d known, maybe he could have prepared himself. He could have been ready. He’d started to think maybe – maybe. But he was stupid, he was so stupid. Stupid, and wrong.

He stands on the metal floor. It feels cold against his bare feet. The one in the uniform looks him up and down.

“This one’s defective,” he says to another one, who seems to have just appeared out of nowhere.

The other one nods. “To be terminated?” he asks.

“Correct it,” the first one says. “Apparently there’s a major backlog. Then run it for a while, see if it’s fixed.”

“No,” he whispers. Both of them turn to stare at him.

“What?” the first one says. “What did you say?”

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t say anything. He knows when to speak and when not to speak. He obeys orders. He always obeys orders – or he tries, he tries so hard. But he’s defective. He’s defective and Cor found out about it, and now he’s here. He’s here again and even here he can’t keep his mouth shut and obey orders, even now when he knows what’s about to happen. He feels it all welling up inside him, a rush of confusion and understanding, because he thought – he thought that maybe – after everything that happened – but he’s here, Cor sent him back. Of course Cor sent him back. He realised, he understood. Of course, of course.

He almost wishes they would terminate him instead, instead of making him go back to how things were before. No: he does wish it. To go back now – to know what he knows now and to have to go back –

Everything in him feels like it’s being crushed, his heart, his lungs, his stomach. When the first one takes his arm to lead him to the table, his legs give way underneath him. Something rises inside him, blocking his throat so he can’t breathe. The first one kicks him, and that’s enough to let it out. He covers his head with his hands and he closes his eyes and he screams.

“Hey – hey.” The first one leans over him and grabs his wrists. “Kid. Wake up.”

He struggles, trying to pull his wrists from the first one’s grasp. He grabs at his hair, pulling it. The pain helps, somehow. He’s still screaming. The sound is loud in his ears.

“Kid,” the first one says. He’s kneeling on the floor in front of him now. He’s wearing the uniform, but his features have changed. He looks like Cor, now. “Wake up. Come on, stop doing that. It’s OK.”

And then, suddenly, his stomach lurches, and he’s somewhere else. He’s in the dark, with just a dim light whose source he can’t see. He’s sitting on something soft. And Cor’s in front of him. He’s not wearing a uniform – he’s wearing the clothes he wears when he sleeps. He’s holding his wrists and kneeling in front of him, staring into his face. He gasps, feeling sick with the way his stomach keeps rolling. He’s stopped screaming, though he doesn’t remember why.

“Hey,” Cor says. “Hey – you with me?”

He stares at Cor. Then he looks around the room. It’s the room where he sleeps. The window is there, with the curtains and the plants. It’s dark outside. The door is open, and the silent one stands in the doorway, his face in shadow.

He swallows. His heart is hammering in his ears, in his skull. He doesn’t understand what happened. He was somewhere else, and then he was here? What happened to the two officers? What – what happened?

“It’s OK,” Cor says. “It was just a nightmare. Come on, don’t cry.”

And then Cor lets go of his wrists and takes hold of his shoulders. He wraps his arms around him and holds him, like he’s done a couple of times before. “Hey, it’s OK,” Cor says. “It’s OK. You’re awake now.”

He’s awake now. He’s awake. Was he – asleep? He was sleeping, and then he woke up and Cor sent him back to the facility. And then – he was in the facility, but then he was back here, in the bed. And Cor doesn’t seem angry that he’s come back from the facility. And – some of the things that happened when he woke up before didn’t make sense. How did the window disappear? And how did the officer suddenly look like Cor? And how did he get back here so fast?

“Sh, you’re awake,” Cor says. He puts a hand on the back of his head. “Sh, hey. Calm down. Take deep breaths.”

He tries to take deep breaths. His heart is still going more than twice his normal heart rate. He thinks it might be speeding up, not slowing down. Cor said you’re awake now, like he wasn’t awake before. And all the things he saw – not all of them made sense. And Cor doesn’t seem to be angry or even surprised that he came back from the facility. Because – Because –

He was asleep. He was asleep, and what he saw was a hallucination. He was hallucinating while he was asleep.

His heart lurches in his chest. Hallucinations. Hallucinations are an obvious defect. And Cor knows that something happened. Even if he doesn’t know he was hallucinating, if it happened once, it’ll happen again. And Cor will find out. He can’t hide such a major defect, not if he isn’t even aware when it’s happening. He’s deteriorating. He won’t be able to hide it for much longer. And when Cor finds out how defective he is, his hallucination will become real, and he’ll never – he’ll never –

Cor’s arms tighten around him, and he can’t control himself. He tries so hard, but he can’t. He starts to cry, much louder than before. He curls his fingers in Cor’s shirt and presses his face against Cor’s shoulder and he cries. He knows he should stop, he knows he should. But none of this really matters any more, anyway. He can’t hide his defects any more. So he stops even trying. This may be his last chance, to feel so warm. So he cries. He hears Cor speaking to him, and he doesn’t hear the words, but the tone is gentle and calm. Cor’s hand smoothes down his hair and Cor’s voice rumbles in his ears. He feels so warm.

“Don’t send me back,” he whispers into Cor’s shoulder. “Don’t send me back.”

But Cor doesn’t hear him.

Chapter 21

Notes:

Heading home tomorrow, so just time to drop off this new chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Another thing you should enjoy: this extremely cute fanart of Cor's rambling attempt to tell Prompto he is now his dad, by @hipdads! It's adorable and you should all go and look at it right now! ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter Text

He cries for a long time. He keep trying to stop, because he wants to stop before Cor gets angry with him. But he doesn’t stop, and Cor doesn’t get angry. Cor just sits and holds him, and sometimes says things that he doesn’t really hear, and sometimes smoothes his hair. And even though he tries to stop crying, he never succeeds. He’s never functioned as well as the other MTs, never really functioned well at all. But now it seems like his systems have broken down entirely.

Eventually, he comes to a point where he’s not crying any more. He’s never cried for so long before, but it seems that there’s a limit to the number of tears he can produce. His eyes feel swollen and unpleasant, and his head aches. He doesn’t know whether those things are a byproduct of the crying or another sign of his systems collapsing. He keeps his face pressed into Cor’s shoulder. Cor must realise by now that he’s suffering from some kind of serious defect. Perhaps Cor doesn’t know about the hallucinations, but he knows about the crying. So now it’s only a matter of time. He feels the warmth of Cor’s shoulder against his closed eyelids, against his forehead, and he tries to soak it in, to feel this as much as he can, since this is his last chance.

Nothing happens for a short while. Then Cor moves his hands to his shoulders. He pushes gently, trying to pull them apart. And so that’s the end. And so he lets go of Cor and sits back. He isn’t even scared any more. He doesn’t feel anything at all.

Cor looks into his face. He has to lower his head a little to do so. The light’s very dim, and he doesn’t know what Cor sees. But he sees Cor. He sees Cor frowning, and he knows what Cor’s thinking. What Cor will do next.

“You done?” Cor asks.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. His throat hurts, and his voice sounds hoarse.

Cor nods. He looks at the door, at the silent one who’s still standing in the doorway. “Get us some water, Arcis.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. He disappears, the sound of his feet on the stairs loud in the quiet.

Cor turns back to him. “You want to tell me what it was about?” he asks. “You don’t have to, but you can.”

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t understand. He wants so hard not to have to admit he doesn’t understand, not after everything. But he can’t think of a way to answer the question that won’t reveal his stupidity. He thinks and thinks, but his mind just goes in circles: he’ll send me back, he’ll send me back, and no answer, nothing useful at all. A moment ago, he felt nothing, but now he feels anxiety rising in his stomach, in his mind, until he can almost hear it, like a shrieking sound in his ears. And he can’t help himself – he doesn’t even try, because there’s no point. There’s no point trying any more, so he doesn’t try. He just puts his hands over his ears and closes his eyes, and for a moment, he feels a little bit better.

It’s a short moment. Almost immediately, Cor’s hands leave his shoulders. Then Cor grips his wrists. He pulls his hands away from his ears.

“Hey,” Cor says. He’s starting to sound angry now. “Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

He’s not hurt. He’s defective. He’s defective. And Cor’s angry.

“No,” he says. He tries to say it clearly, but it comes out so softly that he almost doesn’t hear it himself.

“You’re not hurt?” Cor says. “Can you open your eyes?”

He doesn’t want to open his eyes. But he can’t disobey Cor, so he opens them.

Cor is looking into his face. He’s frowning. Is he angry? He sounded angry, but he can’t tell.

“Shit,” Cor mutters. He’s still holding his wrists. “Kid, what’s going on here? Have you got–” He lets go of his wrists and gestures towards his own ears. “Are your ears ringing? Or – why did you put your hands over them? Are you hearing noises?” He shakes his head. “If something’s wrong, you gotta tell me, OK? I need to tell the doctor.”

There. Cor’s told him, now. He’s given him a direct order to answer a specific question. So he can’t do anything. He can’t do anything, now.

“Yes,” he whispers. He puts his hands in his lap, even though he wants to put them back over his ears. His thoughts seem to be shouting, still, shrieking. It makes it hard to think.

“Yes?” Cor says. He frowns deeper. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir,” he says.

“No,” Cor says, “that’s not what I meant – fuck, I’m fucking this up.” He shakes his head again, running a hand over his face. “I meant – yes, your ears are ringing? Is that what you were saying yes to?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. “Not ringing,” he says. “I – you said – hearing noises.”

“You’re hearing noises?” Cor asks. He puts his hands on his shoulders again. “Kid, really? What kind of noises?”

He swallows. He doesn’t want to tell Cor. But he has to – and in some ways, maybe it’ll be better, once he knows. Once it’s all over. At least it will be over.

“People talking,” he says. He swallows again, his stomach feeling like it’s turning over. “I saw them, too.” There: he’s said it. Cor knows now.

He’s aware that Cor’s staring at him. He doesn’t meet his eyes. He stares down at his hands in his lap. They’re twisted together. It looks painful, but he can’t feel the pain.

“You saw them?” Cor says. He sounds – not angry. Frightened. But he can’t be frightened. How could Cor be frightened? So he must be angry. “You – you’re seeing things? Are you seeing things right now?”

He shakes his head. “Before,” he says. “When I was asleep.”

There’s a long pause. He feels the pressure of Cor’s fingers increase on his shoulders. He waits for it to become painful, but it doesn’t. It just decreases again.

“When you were asleep?” Cor asks. “You mean – you were dreaming?”

He doesn’t know what dreaming means, but he can guess. “Yes,” he says. “I saw things when I was dreaming.”

Another pause. “OK,” Cor says. He doesn’t sound angry any more. He sounds confused. “But it was just a dream. All right? Do you want to tell me about it?”

No. He doesn’t want to tell Cor about it. He doesn’t want to have told him what he’s already told him. He doesn’t understand why Cor isn’t doing anything about it. Why he’s just sitting there, asking him questions. He keeps his head down. He thought it would be over now. But it’s not – but Cor hasn’t done anything. Why hasn’t Cor done anything?

“Kid?” Cor says. “It was pretty brutal, yeah. I saw that. But you’re OK now. It was just a dream.”

Just. Just. As though hallucinating isn’t a severe defect. He’s seen it before: MT units whose minds break down. It’s not always hallucinations, but the end result is the same, regardless of the form the defects take. There’s only one thing you can do with a unit that’s reached such an advanced state of deterioration. He just hopes – he hopes Cor will do it himself. Or at least do it here, in this place. That he won’t send him back to the facility.

He feels his throat start aching, and he tries to go back to how he was a few minutes ago, when he felt nothing at all. But he can’t find a way to get back there. He doesn’t have any control of himself any more. He’s been losing it for a while, it seems. It’s like every minute he feels something different, and all of it is so strong.

Then Cor puts a hand on his chin. He lifts it, so they’re face to face. “What can I do?” Cor asks. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

He swallows. “Don’t send me back,” he whispers. It can’t hurt, now. How can it hurt? The end will be the same anyway.

“What?” Cor says. “Send you back where?”

He opens his mouth, but the words seem caught in his throat. Why isn’t it over yet? He just wants it to be over.

“Kid?” Cor says.

“To the facility,” he says. The words come out sounding scratchy and strange, even though he tries to say them clearly. “Don’t send me back to the facility. Please, sir – please, Cor.”

Then there’s a silence. He doesn’t dare look at Cor’s face, so he stares at the collar of his shirt. Cor’s hand is still holding his chin. His other hand is on his shoulder.

“Why would you think I would do that?” Cor says at last. He sounds angry. “Why would I – why the fuck would I ever send you back there?”

He closes his eyes. He’s made Cor angry. He was prepared for that. But not for this: for Cor to say that he wasn’t going to send him back. If he wasn’t going to send him back, why is he angry? His thoughts feel somehow blurred and sharp at the same time – muddy with confusion, edged with fear. What has he done? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t understand anything.

“Because I’m defective,” he says. He says it out loud. And he looks at Cor. Because he can’t bear this any more, having to say this, word by word. He wants it to be over, so he doesn’t have to any more.

What?” Cor says. He lets go of his chin and grabs his shoulder again. He squeezes. “What did you just say?”

“Hey,” says someone else, then. He looks round and he sees it’s the silent one. He’s standing there, by the bed, holding a glass of water. He’s looking at Cor. “You’re scaring him.”

Cor looks at the silent one. Then he lets go of his shoulders. He sits back on his heels and covers his face with his hands. He just sits there for a moment. Then he takes his hands away from his face and reaches out towards the silent one. He takes the glass of water and holds it out to him.

“Here,” he says. “Drink some of this.”

He takes the glass. His fingers feel weak, and he almost drops it. Even once he’s tightened his grip, his hand’s shaking so much that when he tries to lift it to his lips, water slops over the rim of the glass and spatters on his knees.

“Hey,” Cor says. He reaches out. But he doesn’t take the glass from him. Instead, he wraps his hand around it, so both of them are holding the glass, Cor’s hand on the outside, his on the inside. “OK?” Cor says.

The glass is much steadier now. He lifts it to his lips and drinks. Cor doesn’t try and control the glass. He just holds it, and follows it with his hand wherever it moves. The water feels good on his throat. He didn’t realise how much it hurt before. He drinks some more. He feels it travelling down through his body, spreading through him, cool and fluid. It makes him feel – less unreal, even though he still doesn’t understand anything.

When he’s finished drinking, Cor takes the glass away. He sits and looks at him. He doesn’t look angry any more.

“OK,” he says. “OK. Listen.” Then he doesn’t say anything else. But he’s done that before – ordered him to listen and then not said anything – so he doesn’t try to understand. He just sits and listens, and waits for what’s going to happen next, and hopes it happens quickly and is over soon.

“You don’t have to be scared of me,” Cor says at last. “Not ever. I’m not going to hurt you, all right?”

He swallows. It’s not what he was expecting. “Yes,” he says, since Cor seems to be waiting for him to respond.

“No,” Cor says. “I don’t want you to just – agree like that. I need you to understand. To trust me. Do you trust me?”

He looks down at his hands. He tries to swallow around the sudden ache in his throat.

Cor takes a breath, loud in the stillness. “OK,” he says. His voice sounds a little unsteady. “Guess I had that coming.”

He doesn’t know what Cor means, so he doesn’t say anything. Cor clears his throat.

“All right,” he says. “You don’t trust me. I get it – I really messed up. So maybe it’s hard for you to believe what I say any more. But, kid, no-one is ever going to send you back to that facility. Understand me? You are never, ever going back there. And if anyone ever tries to take you there, I’ll stop them, OK? I promise you. I will never let you go back there.”

He stares at Cor. Cor looks back at him. He doesn’t look like he’s lying. But – he didn’t look like he was lying before, either, when he had the test. And why would he say that he would never send him back to the facility? There are two possibilities: first, Cor’s telling the truth, but then he doesn’t understand why. Second, he’s lying, because this is another test, or for another reason. He tries to estimate the probability of each option, but he feels so tired. And he doesn’t want to estimate the probabilities. He wants to believe Cor. He wants to, so much. He wants to believe it, because – if he could believe it, if he could believe Cor would never send him back – and he wants to believe Cor because – it feels right. But even though he wants it, there’s part of him that tells him not to be stupid. Not to be so stupid, not again. Not to believe something like that, because then it will be so much worse when it turns out to be wrong.

It’s not a small part.

Cor’s looking at him. He doesn’t look like he’s lying. But maybe he is. Maybe.

“How would you stop them?” he asks. “If someone tried to take me back.” He wonders, wonders. Is there something he can ask Cor that will help determine if he’s telling the truth?

Cor’s eyebrows draw down a little. “By any means necessary,” he says. “No matter who it was.”

And he–

–he believes Cor. He doesn’t want to let himself, but somehow he can’t help it. Something about how Cor says it, something about his face, his shoulders, the way he sits. Something.

He swallows. “Why?” he asks. He doesn’t understand why.

And now Cor’s face changes again. “Why what?” he asks. “Why would I stop them taking you back?”

He nods. His throat is aching again. He tries to swallow around it. He wishes for more water.

“Shit, kid,” Cor says. He looks sideways and down, and puts his hand over his eyes for a moment. Then he sighs and lifts his head. “Because what they did to you in that place – wasn’t right,” he says. His hands are by his sides, clenched into fists. “It wasn’t right,” he says again. “No-one deserves that. You didn’t deserve any of that, and I’m going to make sure – I’m going to make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again. I’m going to make sure of it.”

He sits and stares at Cor. He doesn’t understand. He’s an MT unit. He’s supposed to be in a training facility, training to become a level five and carry out his duty. What does Cor mean, it wasn’t right? It was right. Wasn’t it right?

“I’m–” he says, and then can’t bring himself to say the words. But he has to say them. He can’t bear to keep not understanding this. “I’m supposed to be in the facility,” he says.

“Bullshit,” Cor says. “That’s bullshit, kid. You’re not supposed to be there. You don’t belong there. You aren’t supposed to be there.” Cor says it with such vehemence, with such conviction, that for a moment it feels right. It feels right. But he – but he doesn’t understand.

“Where am I supposed to be?” he asks.

Cor stares at him a moment. Then he swipes his hand across his eyes and shakes his head.

“You’re supposed to be here with me,” he says. “This is where you belong. Here, with me.”

He sits back on his heels. It’s not what he expected. He doesn’t know what he expected, but not – not that. He wants it to be true. He wants it to be true, so much. But he’s an MT unit. How can it be true, when he’s an MT unit? There are no other MT units here. If he’s supposed to be here, then why aren’t there other MT units here?

Cor’s still staring at him. His eyes glint in the dim light.

“Isn’t that what you want?” Cor asks. “Are you – you’re not – you want to be here, right?”

He doesn’t respond. He wants to, but he can’t. He thinks if he responds – if he says yes, because he wants to be here so much – he won’t be able to restrain himself any longer. He won’t be able to stop himself from believing that Cor is telling the truth, even if it doesn’t make any sense, even if he feels sure it can’t be right. And if he believes it and then it turns out it wasn’t real after all–

“What about the hallucination?” he asks. “What are you going to do?”

“The what?” Cor asks, frowning in confusion.

“The – while I was asleep,” he says. “The hallucination.”

Cor’s face clears. “The dream you had?” he says.

He nods. “What are you going to do?” he asks. His voice comes out very quiet. If Cor isn’t going to send him back – what is he going to do about the defect? About any of his other defects?

Cor scrubs his hands across his face, then looks over his shoulder.

“Hey, Arcis,” he says. “You said your kid brother used to get nightmares, right?”

The silent one is leaning in the doorway. He nods, his face in shadow.

“Yeah,” he says. “Pretty bad.”

“What did you do about them?” Cor asks.

The silent one shrugs. “Hot milk is good,” he says. “Mom used to sit with him until he went back to sleep. Sometimes even all the way till morning.”

Cor nods. “OK,” he says. He sounds confident, sure of himself. “That’s what we’ll do. Arcis, the hot milk.”

“On it, sir,” the silent one says, and disappears from the doorway. Cor turns back to him.

“OK?” he says.

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t understand. He even asked Cor, even though it would have been better to stay quiet, but he didn’t understand the answer at all. He feels so tired, and his stomach’s churning, and his eyes feel hot and prickly and he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t understand.

Cor frowns. “Oh, no, I know that look,” he says. “I got it wrong. I’m sorry, kid. I don’t know what I got wrong, so you’re going to have to tell me.”

He swallows. “The hallucination,” he says. His voice is wavering, and he swallows again. “It’s a defect. Aren’t – aren’t you going to do anything?”

Cor stares at him. He stares at him for a long time – several seconds. Then he nods and looks down, at his hands.

“So that is what you said,” he says. Then he shakes his head and looks up. “You had it while you were sleeping, right?”

He nods. It was so disorienting, to fall asleep and then to hallucinate and not be awake, to not know he wasn’t even awake.

“So it was a dream,” Cor says. “It was a dream, right?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Right,” Cor says. He sits, like he’s waiting for something. Then he tilts his head to one side. “Wait – have you ever done that before? Hallucinated while you were asleep?”

“No,” he says, as quickly as he can. Maybe if Cor knows it’s a brand-new defect – maybe it will be easier to correct?

Cor closes his eyes a moment. “Seriously?” he mutters. Then he opens his eyes. He leans forward. He puts his hands on his shoulders. His hands feel warm.

“Kid,” he says. “You’re not defective. OK? You had a dream. It’s normal. It’s normal for people to dream when they’re asleep. It’s important, even. Somehow at that facility – somehow they stopped you from dreaming, fuck knows how they did it, but you’re supposed to dream. Everybody dreams. It’s not a defect. It’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing.”

He stares at Cor. Every time Cor says something, it’s something he didn’t expect. He’s starting to feel as though perhaps he’s still hallucinating, because – nothing makes any sense. How can hallucinating be normal? He’s absolutely certain that it isn’t true that everybody hallucinates, but then that means that Cor is lying to him again, and if that’s the case, then what’s the purpose? Is it a test? Is he supposed to say he believes Cor as proof of his loyalty? Or question him as proof that his logical reasoning capabilities are functioning correctly? He feels suddenly light-headed, disconnected from everything. The room spins a little, and he closes his eyes.

“Hey, whoa,” Cor says. The grip on his shoulders tightens. “You all right?”

He opens his eyes again. Cor is staring at him. He looks worried.

“Come on,” Cor says. “Sit down.”

Cor pushes on his shoulders, and he yields, letting himself be moved until he’s sitting on the bed with his back to the wall. It feels better, having the wall there. Less like he might fall. Then Cor sits beside him and puts an arm across his shoulders. Cor’s arm feels warm and solid, heavy, but not in a painful way. He closes his fingers around the bedspread, feeling it bunch up in his hands. That feels solid, too. Is he still hallucinating? He doesn’t think so. But he didn’t think he was before, either.

The silent one appears in the doorway. He’s carrying a cup. He brings it over to the bed and holds it out.

“Take care,” he says. “It’s hot.”

He lets go of the bedspread and reaches out to take the cup. In it is the white drink he’s had a few times before. It’s called milk, he remembers. Usually it’s cold, but the silent one said it was hot, and he feels the warmth through the cup. It smells different, too. Not just like milk. It smells good, warm and inviting.

“I put cinammon in it,” the silent one says. “That’s what Mom always does.”

“Thanks, Arcis,” Cor says.

“No problem, sir,” the silent one says. He stands, looking at him. “I’m sorry, kid. Nightmares suck.”

He knows suck means bad, but he doesn’t know what nightmares are, though Cor’s already said the word more than once. He tries for a moment to pretend he does know. But he’s so tired. He’s so tired and he feels like nothing at all makes sense any more. Maybe he’s even still hallucinating, and if he is, none of this matters anyway. So he looks at Cor.

Nightmares means bad dreams,” Cor says when he sees him looking. “Not all dreams are bad. Sometimes they’re even really great. I’m sorry your first one was a nightmare, kid. You didn’t deserve that.”

The silent one frowns at him. “First one?” he says. “You’ve never had a dream before?”

He stares at the silent one. If it’s a test – if it’s a lie – then the silent one must be involved as well. But is that possible? He tries to unravel it. If the silent one is involved, they must have planned it. But when? How did they know he would hallucinate? Did they – maybe they were the ones that made him hallucinate in the first place? But why? Or –

Maybe it’s not a test.

“They did something to him, in Niflheim,” Cor says. He sounds angry. “Stopped him from dreaming somehow. I didn’t realise he’d never had one, or I would have – warned him, I guess.”

“Six,” the silent one says. “Those assholes.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Cor says. His arm tightens around his shoulders. “Drink your milk, kid.”

He sips at the milk. It tastes thick and warm and smooth. Once he’s been sipping it for a while, he starts to feel warm all over. The silent one goes back to stand in the doorway. Cor sits beside him, his arm around his shoulders. He doesn’t speak.

When the milk is gone, Cor takes the cup from him.

“We got a lot of things to talk about,” he says. “But not now. It’s the middle of the night. We’ll talk in the morning. All right?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks at him. “It’s not going to be anything bad,” he says. “We’re going to try and get some things straight. But you’re not in trouble. You won’t be in any trouble. I just want to help you understand some things, all right?”

Something in him loosens a little. “Yes,” he says again.

“Good,” Cor says. He runs a hand through his hair. “Great. You’re not defective, and no-one’s ever sending you back to that place. Those are the most important things. You got those things, kid?”

“Yes,” he says, even though he knows he’s defective. And if Cor’s lying about him being defective, then maybe he’s lying about not sending him back, too.

“All right,” Cor says. He pulls his arm from around his shoulders and gets off the bed. He sits in the chair at the table. “I’m going to stay here while you go to sleep, so if you have any more bad dreams I can wake you up straight away. Sound good?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “Go to sleep, then,” he says. “I’ll be here.”

He climbs under the bedspread and closes his eyes. He can feel Cor watching him. He wants to believe everything Cor said. That he belongs where he is now. That he isn’t defective. That no-one will send him back. He wants to believe all of it. But it doesn’t feel right. In his heart, it doesn’t feel true. And some of it can’t be true. It’s not normal to hallucinate. It can’t be normal. It can’t be anything other than a defect. And if Cor lied about that, then maybe he lied about everything. Maybe. Maybe.

He lies still and keeps his eyes closed. But it takes him a long time to get to sleep.

Chapter Text

When he wakes up, the sun’s already been turned on, and Cor isn’t there any more. The bed feels cold, even though he knows it’s warm, and his stomach’s churning even though nothing’s happened. He’s been asleep, and nothing’s happened. But his stomach’s churning anyway.

He sits up. There’s a white square of paper on the table where Cor was sitting. There are words on it, and he sharpens his vision to read them.

I’m downstairs, they say. Come down whenever you’re ready.

He knows Cor wrote it, even though it doesn’t have any attribution. He sharpens his hearing, and he hears sounds in the kitchen: something bubbling, someone putting a cup down on the table, someone breathing. Cor breathing. Cor said he wasn’t in trouble, that nothing would happen. But his stomach is churning anyway.

He gets up and gets dressed. He’s not sure exactly what Cor meant by whenever you’re ready, but he thinks ready must mean dressed. Once he’s dressed, then, his orders are to go downstairs.

But he doesn’t. He goes towards the door, but he stops. His eyes feel sore, the skin around them swollen and strange. His head hurts. His stomach churns. Everything that happened the night before – the hallucination, and what happened with Cor afterwards – seems strange and indistinct in his memory. But he knows it happened, because of how sore his eyes are.

He looks at the plants. They’re on the windowsill, and the sunlight falling on them makes their colours seem brighter: the green, the red, the yellow. He checks to make sure they’re not too dry. He put water on the red one the night before. But he checks anyway. He touches their leaves. He tries to think of something else he has to do, some other order he has to fulfil before he goes downstairs. But there’s nothing. So he has to go downstairs.

He goes out onto the landing. The silent one is there, standing outside the door.

“Morning, kid,” the silent one says. “You get some sleep?”

“Yes,” he says.

The silent one peers into his face. “You look pretty rough,” he says.

He isn’t sure of the appropriate response. “Yes,” he says at last. The silent one laughs.

“Better go see papa bear, then,” he says. “He looks rough, too. You two can spend all morning failing to talk to each other.”

He doesn’t understand what the silent one means. Cor said they were going to talk today, about something important. So why is the silent one saying that they’re not going to talk? Have Cor’s plans changed?

“Don’t look at me like that, kid,” the silent one says. “I’m just messing with you. Go on, he’s waiting.”

He still doesn’t understand, but he goes downstairs. The silent one follows, but stops outside the kitchen door. He doesn’t stop, though. He goes inside.

Cor’s sitting at the table, holding a cup. When he sees him, he puts the cup down and stands up.

“Morning,” he says. “Sleep OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He waits to see if Cor will sit down again. But Cor stays standing, looking around the room.

“Wish I had a couch,” Cor mutters. He looks at him and half-shrugs. “When I first got this place –guess I thought I didn’t need a living room. The people who lived here before had one, but I turned it into an office.” He gestures at the door, then sighs. “Before you came here, I didn’t – do a whole lot of relaxing, I guess.” He rubs the back of his head. “Pretty sad, right?”

He’s not sure what Cor means. “Yes,” he says.

Cor’s eyes widen slightly, then he laughs. “Right,” he says. He looks around again. “I should get a couch,” he says. “Maybe a bigger apartment.”

He waits. There’s no couch. He’s not sure if Cor is going to get a couch now. Or get a bigger apartment now. But Cor doesn’t go anywhere. He sighs and sits down. Then he stands up again.

“We’re going to the park,” he says. “OK?”

The park is the place where Noctis and Ignis took him, two days ago now. The place where he first saw grass and trees. “Yes,” he says. He thought they were going to talk, but going to the park is much better.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He grabs the soup vessel that’s standing on the table. “Let’s go.”

And so they go.

~

The sky is blue again. It’s not like the last time he went to the park, when there were lots of clouds. And when Ignis and Noctis were there. But the park is the same: the broad expanse of green, the trees, the patches of colour. They don’t talk on the way. He thinks maybe the silent one was right: Cor’s plans have changed, and now they’re going to the park instead of talking. He doesn’t mind. The park is beautiful. And talking is difficult.

They sit on the bench where he sat with Noctis and Ignis. He remembers how he felt, then – how he couldn’t even look at everything to start off with, because there was so much. It’s all still here, but now, after all the things he’s seen in the last two days, it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. He looks at the pillars, and now he knows they’re trees, and they’re alive. He listens to the irregular chimes, and now he knows they’re birds, and they’re alive, too. He even sees some, flying from tree to tree. He understands so much more now, even though so little time has passed.

“So,” Cor says, when they’ve been sitting in silence for a few minutes.

He looks at Cor. But Cor doesn’t look at him – he looks forward, at the grass and the trees. Cor’s sitting very straight. He wonders if Cor wants him to respond to what he said. But – he didn’t really say anything. He just said so.

“Yeah,” Cor mutters then. “I suck at this.” Then he turns to look at him. “OK,” he says. “There’s something really important before we start.”

He’s not sure what they’re about to start doing. But he nods and sits as still as he can, so he doesn’t miss any details of the important thing.

“If you don’t understand something, you need to tell me,” Cor says. “All right? Not just now, either. From now on, if you don’t understand something I’m saying to you, you have to tell me.”

He opens his mouth. But no words come out. There are so many things he doesn’t understand. If he has to tell Cor all of them, then–

–but he has to. Cor ordered him to. So–

He swallows. Cor frowns at him.

“You OK?” he says. “Is that all right?”

“Yes,” he says. His voice sounds strange.

“Right,” Cor says. “Right.” He frowns. “So you’re going to tell me, right?”

He takes a breath. “Yes,” he says. He doesn’t want to. But Cor says he has to.

“Great,” Cor says. He’s still frowning. “That’s great, kid.” He taps his fingers against his thigh, turning his face away. He looks out at the expanse of green. “It’s nice here,” he says. “You like it here?”

He looks: at the trees, the grass, the sky. He sees birds, three of them, flying so fast it’s hard to see them properly. It makes his heart jump a little in his chest to see them.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s beautiful.”

Cor’s face changes, then. He’s still frowning, but he starts to look surprised. He glances at him, then looks back at the park. “Yeah,” he says quietly. He stops tapping his fingers. “Yeah, you’re right.” He doesn’t say anything for a moment or two. He just looks at the park. Then he breathes in through his nose and turns to him.

“Last night you called me sir,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He remembers, even though it seems hazy, like he imagined it. Or hallucinated it.

“You think of me as your superior officer,” Cor says.

He hesitates. It’s true – of course he thinks that, because that’s what Cor is – but something about the way Cor’s looking at him makes him think maybe yes isn’t the correct answer. But he definitely can’t say no. He takes a breath.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. He doesn’t look angry. He seems to be looking at nothing for a second, then he nods again.

“I don’t think of you as my subordinate,” he says.

He stares at Cor. It’s not what he expected. And he doesn’t understand, at all. He tries to think of ways that what Cor said could mean something different, but his mind is blank.

“You’re not a soldier,” Cor says, then.

He shakes his head. “No,” he says. “I’m an MT unit.”

“No,” Cor says. “That’s not what you are. You’re a human being.”

He understands, then. He understands, and he doesn’t understand. It isn’t the first time Cor’s said that he’s human, though it’s been a little while. He thought Cor realised that he was wrong – but now he knows that he didn’t. So he understands: Cor thinks he’s human, and that’s why Cor thinks he’s not his subordinate. He doesn’t fully understand the relationships between humans, but some of them (like Noctis) behave as though they’re not subordinate, even to people who clearly outrank them (like Ignis). So he knows there’s something there he doesn’t understand. He understands that this is why Cor thinks he’s not a subordinate. But he doesn’t understand why Cor thinks he’s human.

“I’m an MT unit,” he says again. Surely this fact is undeniable.

“No,” Cor says. “You’re a human being.”

He stares at Cor. Cor stares back at him. There’s nothing in Cor’s face to help him understand what Cor said. You’re a human being. As though it’s an obvious thing.

“I don’t understand,” he says at last.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. “How are MT units made?” he asks at last.

He wonders if Cor is asking because he doesn’t know, or as some kind of test. “MT units are grown from a single cell,” he says. “When they’re old enough to be useful, they become level one MT units and begin training and modification.”

Cor looks angry, even though the information was correct. Then he takes a breath, and his face smoothes out.

“OK,” he says. “So before they begin – modification, the kids are just – organic, right? No machine parts?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Right,” Cor says. “So then, they’re human.”

He frowns. “No,” he says. “They’re MT units.”

Cor hesitates. He looks at him, then he look away. He frowns, like he’s thinking. Then he says, “OK. What makes them MT units rather than humans?”

He stares at Cor. Why is he asking that question? It seems ridiculous. MT units are MT units and humans are humans. They’re different things. Surely Cor already knows that? How could anyone not know?

But maybe Cor does know. Maybe it’s a test, to see how much he understands. So he thinks. What is it that makes MT units different from humans, even before they’ve been modified and trained?

Simple. “MT units are made,” he says. “Humans are born.” He doesn’t have a very clear idea of what it means, to be born, but he knows it’s different from being made. Humans are people, because they’re born. MT units are objects, because they’re made.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Grown from a single cell, you said?”

“Yes,” he says. Cor agreed with him, so he must have passed the test.

“Humans are grown from a single cell, too,” Cor says.

He opens his mouth. But he can’t think of what to say. Is Cor lying to him?

“All living things grow from a single cell,” Cor says. “That’s how being alive works. Those assholes made you in the sense that they gave your cell somewhere to grow, but that’s all. Your single cell came from a human, just like all cells that eventually grow into humans. So you’re human.”

He realises his mouth is still open. He closes it. It’s not the same. He knows it’s not the same. But he doesn’t know enough about humans to be able to show Cor how it’s not the same.

“MT units are made to serve,” he says. “We’re made. I’m – I was made, by the program. I don’t – I don’t–”

“Hey,” Cor says. “Don’t freak out. I mean – don’t get scared. I’m not telling you this to scare you. I just want you to understand.”

He does understand. He did understand. He’s always understood: MT units are objects. Humans are people. They are fundamentally different. That’s what he understands. What he doesn’t understand is why Cor’s saying what he’s saying. Can it be a test? If so, he should have passed it by now. But if not, then why is Cor saying what he’s saying?

“MT units grow in tanks,” he says. Maybe Cor just doesn’t know enough about MT units to realise. “Until they’re old enough to be useful.”

Cor’s expression darkens. “I’m gonna regret asking this, but – how long does that take?” he asks.

Good. Cor just didn’t understand. “I don’t know,” he says. “Lots of days. Until they’re strong enough to walk and have enough dexterity to grasp things with their hands.”

Cor nods. “And no-one lets them out before then?” he asks. “Talks to them, touches them – plays with them?”

“No,” he says. “Play like – play cards?”

Cor’s mouth tightens. He starts tapping his fingertips on his thigh again. He sits there like that for a moment, not saying anything. Then he turns to him.

“Hey, uh,” Cor says. Then he leans forward and puts his arms around him. He holds him tightly, like he did the night before, when he was crying. He doesn’t know why Cor does this. Cor’s done it several times, and he doesn’t know why. But it feels warm and solid, and he realises he doesn’t want Cor to stop.

But Cor does stop. He lets go, and sits back. But he doesn’t let go entirely. He holds onto his shoulders.

“Listen,” he says. “I don’t care what those assholes told you. I don’t care how many times they told you. You’re human. You’re as human as me, or Arcis, or Noctis, or anyone. And they should have–” He stops, then clears his throat. “They should have at least held you when you were a baby. They could have at least done that.”

His heart sinks. He doesn’t understand what baby means, but Cor said he was human again, even though he explained about how MT units are made. He wants this test to be over. He doesn’t know what he can say to make Cor decide to stop testing him.

“Hey,” Cor says. “You all right?”

“Yes,” he says. His voice is sounding strange again. His throat is aching, and he swallows once, and again, but it doesn’t help.

“Shit,” Cor says. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. Don’t freak out, kid.”

He shakes his head. He feels so tired, all of a sudden. “I know MT units aren’t human,” he says. “Please – I don’t know what you want.”

Cor frowns. “What?” he says, and then, “What do you mean, what I want?

“For the test,” he whispers. “What you want so I’ll pass the test.”

Cor doesn’t say anything. He just looks at him with a strange expression on his face. He doesn’t know what the expression means, but it makes him feel bad. Then Cor suddenly closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Fuck,” he mutters. He sits there for a moment, his eyes squeezed shut, grimacing as though he’s in pain. Then, abruptly, he stands up.

“I just – I gotta–” he says, and turns sharply away, taking three steps away from the bench and putting his hand over his eyes.

The silent one comes over from where he’s been standing a short distance away. “You OK, sir?” he asks, his voice very quiet. He sharpens his hearing so he won’t miss what Cor says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He can’t see Cor’s face, but his voice sounds strained. “Just – can you sit with the kid for a minute?”

“Of course,” the silent one says. He sits down in the place Cor was sitting before, and Cor walks away without looking back. The silent one looks at him.

“Rough morning, huh?” he says.

It’s the third time the silent one has said rough today without apparently meaning anything regarding texture. He nods and hopes it’s the correct response.

“Yeah,” the silent one says. He leans back, putting his arms out across the back of the seat, and turns his head to look at where Cor is standing some distance away, his back to them and his head down. “You know, if you’d told me a few weeks ago that pretty soon I’d see Cor the Immortal cry, I would have laughed in your face.” He turns to look at him. He’s smiling, but it’s a strange sort of smile. “You must have superpowers or something.”

He understands most of the words, but not how the meaning of the first sentence fits with the second. “Yes,” he says.

The silent one laughs, a short laugh that sounds surprised. “Yeah?” he says. “What superpowers are they?”

He opens his mouth. But he doesn’t know how to answer. He’s not completely sure what the silent one means by superpowers. The silent one tilts his head to one side.

“Huh,” he says. “Guess you didn’t understand what I said?”

He swallows. He wishes the silent one would go back to being silent.

“Yeah, Ignis told me you do that,” the silent one says. “You can tell me if you don’t understand stuff, you know. I won’t tell anyone. Not even papa bear.”

It’s what everyone says. Ignis said it, Noctis said it, Cor said it. Now even the silent one has said it. He’s allowed to ask questions. He can tell someone if he doesn’t understand something. It still feels wrong in his stomach, but every time he’s done it, it’s been good. He’s learned things. It’s made things better. So he asks.

“What does papa bear mean?” he asks.

The silent one laughs again. “Just a little nickname I have for the marshal,” he says, and then, “I mean Cor.” He taps the side of his nose. “Our secret,” he says. “Never imagined him as the fatherly type, but here we are.”

He can ask. So he asks. “What does fatherly mean?”

The silent one sits back. His smile disappears. “Seriously?” he says.

It wasn’t the right question. He grips the wooden seat, trying to think of what response he might give to correct his mistake. But the silent one rubs the back of his head and looks worried.

“I didn’t – uh, I don’t know if I’m the right guy to–” he says. He looks around at Cor. “Hey, he’s coming back.”

It’s true: Cor is walking towards them, and the silent one jumps to his feet.

“All yours, sir,” he says, and then walks quickly away.

Cor sits down next to him. He sighs, then takes a deep breath. He turns to face him.

“Kid,” he says. “I know I fucked up. I know it. And – I know you don’t trust me. That’s fair. But I promise you, this is not a test. I’m not ever going to do that again. No more tests, not from me. I’m not going to lie to you again. And I know you’ve got no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. I’m so – so sorry. I’m sorry.”

He tries to consider this, but his mind’s whirling. No more tests? He wants to believe it. He feels the pull, like he did the night before, his heart believing it before his mind has a chance to stop it.

“Why are you sorry?” he asks. The test was necessary; he understands that.

Cor raises his eyebrows. “Because I hurt you,” he says. “We hurt you – Clarus and Regis and me. But I’m the one you trusted, so the responsibility is mine. I hurt you, and it’s the last thing I wanted to do. If someone else hurt you, I’d take them down. But it was me, so I can’t do that. I can’t fix it. I’m just sorry.”

Cor’s sorry because he hurt him. It’s true: it did hurt. Not physically, but – but it hurt to think he was going to die. And it hurt afterwards, whenever he thought about it. It still hurts to think about it now. But he still doesn’t understand.

“Why does it matter if you hurt me?” he asks.

Cor closes his eyes. Then he opens them. “Because you’re a person,” he says. “You’re not a thing that people can just damage and it doesn’t matter. It matters what happens to you. I care what happens to you. No-one should just be able to hurt you, least of all me.”

Here it is again: Cor is saying that he’s human. But he’s not human. He’s an MT unit. Cor promised it wasn’t a test, but if it’s not a test, then – why is Cor saying these things?

“Look,” Cor says when he doesn’t respond, “you have people you care about, right? Like–” He hesitates. “–Ignis and Noctis. Would you be OK with it if someone hurt one of them?”

He thinks about it. He doesn’t think anyone could hurt Ignis, but if someone tried to hurt Noctis – he would have to stop them. It’s straightforward – perhaps the first straightforward thing he’s had to think about that day. “No,” he says. “I would stop them.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. He looks relieved. “That’s how I feel about you.”

He stares at Cor. Cor looks back at him. He’s not smiling. He looks very serious. And – he said it wasn’t a test. He doesn’t really understand how he feels about Noctis – he hasn’t felt that way about anybody before. He doesn’t know where it comes from, or what it means. It’s the same as how he feels about Ignis – and about Cor. The feelings aren’t all the same, but they belong to the same class. A class that he doesn’t understand, that he can’t describe. But the idea that someone could feel that way about him is – absurd.

“Why?” he says, and then, “I’m an MT unit.”

“No,” Cor says. “No. You’re a kid, you were a human baby and they – stuck some wires in you and told you you weren’t human until you believed it, but that doesn’t make you not human. A few wires – that’s not enough to make you not human. They were just lying to you, kid. They lied to you about it because if you believed you weren’t human, it would make you easier to control. But you are. You are.”

He starts to shake his head, but Cor grabs his shoulder and keeps talking.

“I mean – I’ve been around you for weeks. I’ve seen you cry, and smile, and get excited about the freaking sky. I’ve seen you have nightmares. Are those things that MT units do?”

He understands then, and the understanding makes his stomach sink and his throat ache. Cor thinks he’s human because of all his defects. He’s misinterpreted the defects as signs of humanity, rather than as signs of failure of his systems. Cor isn’t lying to him, he’s just – misunderstood.

He blinks, trying to prevent himself from crying. Even with what he’s about to say, he still wants to appear as functional as possible.

“I’m defective,” he says. His voice wavers, even though he’s trying to keep it steady.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a second. It’s only a second, but it’s long enough to make his stomach feel like it’s turning inside out. Then Cor reaches out and grasps his other shoulder. He shakes him – not hard, just a little.

“No,” he says. He says it the way he sounds when he commands the silent one to do things. “No. You are not defective. You can’t be defective, because you’re not a machine. Humans get sick, they have mental problems, they might be assholes, but they are never, ever defective. You got me?”

He opens his mouth to speak, but the words get caught up in his throat, and all that comes out is a sort of choking noise. Cor’s hands tighten on his shoulders, then he pulls him forward. He puts his arms around him again. It feels so warm – it feels good. He still doesn’t know why Cor does this, but he knows it feels good.

“You’re human,” Cor says. He says it quietly, but his mouth is very close to his ear, so he doesn’t have to sharpen his hearing even a little. “You’re human, you’re not defective, and I’m going to keep telling you until you believe me.”

Cor lets go of him and pulls back, holding onto his shoulders and looking into his face.

“You’re not my subordinate,” he says. “You’re my – responsibility. It’s my job to look after you. To protect you. You’re not a soldier, you’re not an MT, you’re just a kid.”

His thoughts are spinning. Cor’s told him so many things, and he doesn’t really understand any of them. And now – Cor says it’s his job to protect him. But that can’t be right. That can’t be right.

Cor reaches out and brushes the hair out of his eyes. “OK,” he says. “It’s a lot. I get that. It’s all right. Just – think about it, OK? And remember that you don’t have to be scared. You’re never going back to that facility, and no-one’s going to hurt you any more.”

Cor’s right: it’s a lot. He feels bewildered. He tries to breathe slowly. He looks at the sky and the grass, and that helps. He feels the warmth of Cor’s hand on his shoulder. He feels the wood of the seat under his palms.

“OK,” Cor says again. He lets go of his shoulder, and the spot where his hand was before feels cold. Cor pulls out a notebook and a pen from his pocket and starts writing something. He writes for some time. Then he tears the page out and gives it to him. “Here,” he says.

He takes the paper. At the top it says: Things to remember. Then there’s a list.

1. You are a human being.
2. You are NOT defective.
3. Dreams are normal and all humans have them. Having dreams is a sign that you’re human.
4. You will never be sent back to the facility.
5. It’s OK to ask questions.

Then underneath, there’s a horizontal line drawn across the page, and a second section of text.

I, Cor Leonis, swear on all the Astrals that I will not lie to you or test you without your knowledge again. I will make sure no-one hurts you and I will never permit anyone to send you back to the facility.

Below that is a scribble that looks like it include a C and an L, and a number.

He reads the paper several times. It isn’t instructions, but it’s close. And it’s – clear, and well-organised, and even though it’s still hard to understand why Cor thinks he’s human, the fact that he can see the words in black and white makes it feel – solid, somehow. And the second part – the second part, even though Cor’s said it more than once, seeing it there, written down – it’s a strange feeling. Like something in him has suddenly settled. I will make sure no-one hurts you. Why?

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

“I want you to keep that in your pocket,” Cor says. “In case you need to consult it.”

He nods. He folds up the paper very carefully and slides it into his pocket. He imagines he can feel it there, almost against his skin, the words solid and real.

“Thank you,” he says.

Cor looks surprised, then he smiles a little. “Any time, kiddo,” he says. He reaches out and puts a hand on the back of his neck. “We’ll figure this out, all right?” he says. “I know I’m not great at it, but we’ll get there.”

“Yeah,” he says, even though he’s not sure what Cor’s talking about.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Yeah.” He nods. Then he looks around. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely had enough heavy talk for one morning. Want to go see Ignis? Or maybe go for a walk round the park first?”

He sits up a little. “If we go for a walk – we’ll still go and see Ignis?” he asks.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want,” Cor says.

He nods. “Yes,” he says.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” says Cor. He stands up and looks around. “Gotta admit, it’s years since I’ve been here,” he says. “I don’t really know what there is to go and look at.”

He stands up, too. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then he feels the weight of the paper in his pocket, the words close to his skin. “There’s – a pool,” he says, watching Cor to see what his reaction will be. “Noctis says you can see fish sometimes.”

Cor looks at him, and he smiles again. “Looks like you’re the expert,” he says. “You know the way?”

“Yeah,” he says, feeling strangely breathless.

Cor nods.

“Then lead on,” he says.

Chapter 23

Notes:

Whew, so, it's been a busy time! But things have calmed down a bit now, and so I've finally managed to get this done. NB I have not yet had a chance to look at Episode Ignis, so please, no spoilers in the comments!

Chapter Text

The pool is still and very dark, the trees around it with their green curtains casting shadows across the water. He stands on the bank, remembering how he sat here on the grass with Noctis. He wonders if Cor wants to sit on the grass, too. But Cor just stands, so he stands, too.

“There are fish in there, huh?” Cor says. He’s looking at the green-black surface of the water.

“Yeah,” he says. Then he realises he doesn’t know that for sure. He doesn’t want Cor to think he’s deliberately providing uncertain information. “I haven’t seen them, but Noctis said there were.” He hesitates, but feels the need to explain himself further. “I haven’t seen them because the water’s so dark,” he says.

“Yeah, it’s pretty murky,” Cor says. He steps closer and leans over the water. “Lot of pond-crap in there.”

He nods. He doesn’t know what pond-crap is. “Noctis said it’s dark to hide the fish,” he says.

Cor glances at him, eyebrows raised. “He told you that, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks back at the water. “That’s not why,” he says. “It’s dark because there’s a lot of pond-crap in there.”

He swallows. Noctis told him one thing, but Cor told him something else. He understood Noctis’ explanation, but he doesn’t understand Cor’s. But Cor is his – commanding officer, he thinks. He’s not sure any more, because Cor said – he wasn’t. But he must be. Nothing else makes sense. And anyway, Cor outranks Noctis, so Cor must be correct. But then why did Noctis lie to him? He feels a sudden ache in his stomach at the idea that Noctis lied to him, though he isn’t sure why. It’s useful information, to know that Noctis might not be trustworthy. Useful information that makes his stomach hurt.

“Hey,” Cor says, sharp enough to startle him. “Did you see that?”

Cor’s pointing at the water. He looks, but he doesn’t see anything. He wasn’t paying attention. Stupid, stupid.

“No,” he says. He looks at Cor to see how he’ll react.

But Cor looks pleased. “Definitely fish in there,” he says. “Keep your eyes on the water.”

So he does. He watches the surface, black and still. There are tiny objects that dance above it, and when he sharpens his vision, he sees that they’re bugs.

His vision is still fully sharpened when he sees something dark erupt from the water, breaking the surface into droplets that splinter and sparkle, and swallow one of the bugs before disappearing back under again. He’s never seen anything like that, not so clearly – no, he’s never seen anything like it at all. It happened so fast, but it was – startling. Amazing.

“Did you see it?” Cor asks. His voice sounds urgent.

“Yes,” he says, relieved, but also still amazed. “Yes, I saw it. It – swallowed the bug.”

“It ate it,” Cor says. He pats him on the shoulder. “They’re sneaky, those fish.”

He looks at Cor. Cor looks pleased. It ate it, he said. The fish – ate the bug. So fish are– Fish are–

He thinks about the paper in his pocket. It’s OK to ask questions. “Are fish alive?” he asks.

Cor looks at him, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, kid,” he says. “What did you think they were?”

He doesn’t respond. He didn’t know what they were. It didn’t occur to him to think they might be alive. But they are. So many things are alive. He had no idea.

He remembers the fish, the way the water bulged and shattered around it. How he could see the details of it, the black lights, the sheen on the scales that covered its body. The lights were eyes. He understands now. Fish are alive.

“Huh,” Cor says. He’s looking at something over the tops of the trees. “Looks like there’s a glasshouse over there.”

He looks, too. He sees the top of some kind of structure. It glints in the sun, and when he sharpens his vision, he sees that it’s constructed largely of glass and steel.

“Want to go see what’s in it?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t want to; he wants to stay and see if the fish comes back. He wants to look at it more carefully now he knows it’s alive. But Cor saw the structure and wanted to go there, so he should go there, too. He doesn’t know what might be in it, but he hopes it isn’t anything dangerous.

They walk through the green curtains of the trees, across some grass and between some more trees. Here, there are gravel paths and more plants with colourful parts, all crowded together. There are small signs beside some of them, and he sharpens his vision so he can read them in case they’re instructions. Each of them has two words on the first line, and then another word or two words underneath. The words are all indecipherable. He’s only a little disappointed – he’s beginning to give up hope of ever finding instruction posters again.

In front of them is the glass and steel structure. He sees now that almost all of it is made of glass. It’s like a building with glass walls. Inside, he can see green shapes that, when he sharpens his vision, resolve into plants. His heart starts to beat a little faster. The glasshouse is full of plants.

“Come on,” Cor says, opening the door of the structure. He follows him as he steps through. Inside, the air is different. It feels thicker, warmer, heavier. It smells heavy and green, like the air in the place that Cor took him to get the plants and the spheroidal object. The whole structure is a single room, the ceiling high above their heads. And all around are plants. They’re not quite the same as the plants outside – there are fewer colourful parts and their leaves are different, mostly much larger, but some strangely thick as well. Each plant has a sign in front of it, like the ones outside, and similarly incomprehensible. Some of them tower above them, whole trees inside the glass structure. He stares upwards, mouth open.

“This is where they keep the plants that don’t like the cold,” Cor says. He’s looking up, too, but then he looks at him and half-smiles. “You like it, huh?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s still staring up. He’s seen rooms as large as this before, of course, in the facility. But this – is different. There’s so much light. There’s so much green.

“Let’s take a walk around,” Cor says.

So they do. There’s a path made of wood, and they walk around it, surrounded by the plants. Even the air feels like it might be alive, it’s so thick and strange. There’s even a small pool, and he sees the orange flash of fish and stares, fascinated.

They stand for a while, looking at the pool. Then they go into a smaller glass room. The air here is still warm, but much less heavy and green. The room is filled with strange green objects, most with spikes on them. Some of them look almost identical to the spheroidal object that Cor told him to look after. He looks at them, at the signs in front of them. But the signs are meaningless.

“Cacti,” Cor says. “Like yours.”

“Cacti,” he says. He remembers the one in the green apron saying it when Cor got the plants. And he remembers the paper in his pocket, the words written on it. It’s OK to ask questions. He puts his hand in his pocket and touches the edge of the paper.

“What does it mean?” he asks.

“Huh?” Cor looks up from the globular, spiny object he’s inspecting. “What, cacti?”

He nods.

Cor straightens up. He gestures. “These,” he says. “They’re a type of plant. They grow in the desert. Like yours.”

He stares at Cor. Then he looks around. The objects are mostly green, it’s true. But they don’t have leaves. They don’t have poles and branching shapes. Most of them are made of one or more interconnected spheroids or discs. They don’t look like the other plants he’s seen at all.

“They’re plants?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He rubs the back of his head. “Shit. I gotta start explaining things more, huh?”

“Yes,” he says, because he’s starting to think that’s what Cor wants when he ends a question with huh. And because he hopes Cor really will start explaining things more.

Cor snorts. “Got it,” he says. He looks around. “Yeah, anyway. Cacti are plants.”

It makes sense, now. Why he has to look after the spheroidal object and give it water. Because it’s a plant. He stares at one in the glass room that looks similar, and thinks about the spheroidal object, on the shelf by the window in the room where he sleeps. Cacti. He wants to go back to Cor’s apartment and look at it, to see what he missed before. But he can’t, so he looks at the one in the glass room instead. He touches the tip of his finger to its spikes. The spikes are very regularly distributed, he sees. Each place where spikes extend from the surface of the cacti has several of them, branching out from each other. Like leaves on other plants.

Yes, he understands. Cacti are plants. He understands.

Cor looks at his wrist. “We’re gonna have to go soon, kid,” he says. “You want to keep looking at these, or go see something else?”

He glances up at Cor, then looks around the glass room. There are so many different shapes and sizes of cacti.

“Can we keep looking at these?” he asks. He doesn’t want to get it wrong.

“Whatever you want,” Cor says.

So that’s what they do.

~

When they get to Ignis’ rooms, they find him sitting at his table, writing something on a paper. Beside him is a pile of papers. He looks up when they come in.

“Ah, good,” he says, and stands up. “I have something for you.”

He goes to a corner and picks up a bag. It’s brown and made of paper, and from the way Ignis carries it it must be quite heavy. He brings it over to them. But he doesn’t give it to Cor. He holds it out to him.

“Here,” Ignis says. Then he looks at Cor. “I hope you don’t mind.”

He takes the bag. He frowns at it.

“Open it, kid,” Cor says.

So he opens it. Inside are several thick books. He can only see the edges of them, which reveal no information about what they might be about. He reaches in and pulls one out.

Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia, the cover reads, the letters large and gold against a black background. The book is thick and heavy. He looks at Ignis.

“Since you aren’t permitted to access the internet, I thought it would be useful for you to have something to help answer your questions,” Ignis says. “Do you know what an encyclopedia is?”

He shakes his head. The book is very heavy.

“Open it,” Ignis says.

He tries to open the book and hold the bag at the same time. It’s not straightforward. Cor puts a hand on his back and then takes the bag from him, and then everything is easier. He opens the book, and sees that it contains small images and text in columns. Underneath each image is a bold line of text, and then a column of text. He looks at one. There’s an image – a series of green irregular shapes surrounded by blue. The bold line reads Accordo. Underneath, the text says, Accordo is an island nation to the south-east of Lucis, known for its historic capital Altissia. Then more text, some of which he understands, some of which he doesn’t. But he understands what it is overall. It’s an explanation. An explanation of what Accordo is.

He turns a page. It’s the same: images and names and explanations. Another page. The same. The whole book is the same. The book contains explanations. Given how heavy it is, there must be hundreds or even thousands of explanations. He feels a sense of relief wash over him, so strong that his knees buckle slightly.

“Hey,” Cor says, putting a hand on his back again. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says, but his voice cracks a little.

“Sit down,” Ignis says, gesturing at the couch and frowning.

He sits, more heavily than he intended to. He stares at the book, at the images and text. He turns the pages. He doesn’t understand everything in the explanations, but what he does understand is clear and concise. The words look so clean, there on the page in black and white. Aftershock. Altissia. Assassin’s Creed.

“I think he likes it,” Cor murmurs, and he remembers, suddenly, that they’re in the room. He sits up and looks at Ignis.

“Thank you,” he says. It doesn’t feel like enough; he feels a sense of gratitude that he can’t express, so strong it’s almost painful. “Thank you.”

Ignis smiles at him. “You’re quite welcome,” he says. “There are some other books for you, you know.”

Cor holds the bag out. He takes it and takes out the next book. It’s similar to the last – thick and heavy, with a black cover and gold writing. Royal Lucian Dictionary, it reads. He opens it.

There are no pictures in this book, but otherwise the layout is similar: columns of text, each paragraph headed by a bolded word. He recognises more of these words – many of them are very simple, like and and allow – but there are still a lot that he doesn’t know. Even though he isn’t sure how this book is different from the other – apart from the lack of pictures – he feels the gratitude increase nonetheless. Ignis understands. Ignis has given him two books of explanations to read. It’ll take him a long time to read them, they’re so long, but it will help him so much.

“One more,” Cor says.

He carefully lays Royal Lucian Dictionary down on the table and takes out the last book. This one has an image on the cover of a large pool – a lake – with trees around it and the sky overhead. It reminds him of where Cor took him. Over the image are printed the words Wonderful World: A Children’s First Book of Eos, and then, in smaller letters, Primoris Cognoscentia.

“I’m sure it’s below your level, but I thought it might help answer some of your questions,” Ignis says.

He opens the book. After the page with the instructions about copying the book, which is becoming familiar now, there’s a numbered list. He looks at the items.

Eos in space is the first, but the second is How does the sun work? and the third is Why is it light in the daytime and dark at night?. He stares, scanning down the list. He doesn’t understand some of the items, but many of them are questions that seem plucked directly from his mind. Where does rain come from? he knows already, but he still doesn’t properly understand How do plants grow?, and he hasn’t even considered Why do things fall down?

The first two books explain what words mean. But this book answers questions. This book is about the things he sees around him that he doesn’t understand, all the startling, beautiful things he’s seen that he doesn’t understand. He wants to read all of it, immediately. But he doesn’t even know where to start. He feels dizzy – with relief, with gratitude, with a strange feeling in his stomach that’s like being scared but not quite the same. And he turns to look at Ignis. He stands up. He wants to say something. He’s so grateful. He wants to do something. But he doesn’t know what to do.

Cor looks at him, then looks at Ignis. “Think he likes it,” he says.

He opens his mouth. “Yes,” he says. It comes out strangely, like his throat isn’t quite working. “Thank you.”

Ignis smiles at him. “You’re welcome,” he says. “It’s nice to see someone appreciate books.”

He stares at Ignis. He wants to explain to Ignis about the feeling that he has, about how grateful he is. But he doesn’t know any words to explain it. He wants to do something, to help Ignis with something, to perform some service. But Ignis hasn’t asked him to do anything. He doesn’t know what Ignis might want him to do. He feels a sort of helplessness that mixes with all the other feelings in his chest and stomach and mind, until he starts to think he might throw up.

Then he’s sitting down. He’s sitting on the couch. The book are in front of him. Next to them is a glass with water in it. Cor’s sitting on the low table beside the glass. Cor’s hand is on his shoulders, and he’s looking into his face. He’s frowning.

“...all right?” Cor says.

He blinks. He sees Ignis coming towards them. He’s carrying a steaming cup. He puts it on the table.

“Maybe this will help,” he says. He’s frowning, too.

“Good thinking,” Cor says. “Drink some water, OK, kid? Then drink some tea.”

He reaches out and picks up the water. He tries to remember what happened in the last few minutes. But his mind is full of fog. He drinks the water and concentrates on what he can feel: Cor’s hand on his shoulder, warm and heavy; the water, cool in his mouth and throat; the couch underneath him. He shifts and hears the faint crinkle of paper in his pocket, and he imagines he can feel that, too, feel the words in his pocket, explaining to him what he has to remember.

Cor sits back. He takes his hand off his shoulder. Then he reaches out and puts his hand on top of his head. He moves it, like he’s rubbing his head.

“What am I going to do with you, kid?” Cor asks. Then he stands up and walks over to where Ignis is standing in the part of the room that functions as a kitchen.

He watches Cor go. He raises his hand to touch his head. His hair is dishevelled. He’s not sure why Cor rubbed his head. Maybe he wants his hair to be dishevelled. He doesn’t rearrange it, in case that is what Cor wants.

“He seemed OK this morning,” Cor says to Ignis. Cor’s talking very quietly, and he has to sharpen his hearing, which makes his head hurt.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have given him all the books at once,” Ignis says, just as quietly. “He seemed rather overwhelmed.”

“Shit, Ignis,” Cor says. “We should have given him those books weeks ago. I should have thought–” He pauses, then sighs. “You’re a lot better at this than me.”

“Oh, now, Marshal,” Ignis says, “we can’t all be good at everything.”

Cor snorts. “I’m getting it from all sides today,” he says. Then he shakes his head. “Not that I don’t deserve it.”

Ignis puts a hand on Cor’s shoulder, but he doesn’t speak to him. Instead, he raises his voice. “Prompto?” he says. “I think drinking that tea would make you feel better.”

He swallows. Tea. Tea is the drink in the cup. He picks up the cup and takes a sip. It’s hot, but not painfully so. He swallows some more, feeling the warmth spread down through his body. Ignis is right: it does make him feel better. But he doesn’t know why he felt bad in the first place.

“Has he eaten enough today?” Ignis asks, speaking quietly again.

“Uh–” Cor says. Then he stops. “Shit,” he says.

“Hm,” Ignis says. It’s just a sound, not even a word, but somehow it has an odd tone about it that makes him feel like Ignis is angry. He drinks some more tea. He doesn’t know why Ignis is angry, but Ignis has given him instructions and it’s important for him to follow them.

Then Cor comes forward. He sits on the chair opposite him. “Hey,” he says. “You hungry?”

He knows he’s heard the word hungry before, but he can’t remember what it means. He feels dazed, and he drinks some more tea.

“You didn’t drink any soup today, huh?” Cor says.

He remembers now: hungry is something to do with food. “No,” he says. Cor didn’t tell him to drink any soup.

Cor closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “The flask is in the car,” he says. “We went to the park and I – didn’t think to grab it.”

Ignis raises his eyebrows. Then he nods. “Well, I have plenty in the freezer,” he says. “I’ll warm some up.”

“Thanks,” Cor says. He doesn’t look at Ignis, though. He keeps his eyes closed. Then he opens them and sighs.

“Kid,” he says, “I need you to help me out, here. I’m trying real hard to be a good – to look after you properly, but sometimes I’m dumb and I forget stuff. So you gotta tell me if you’re hungry or thirsty, OK? Or if you feel sick or you need to sit down or – anything like that. Because I can’t tell how you’re feeling. Shit, I can’t even tell how I’m feeling half the time.”

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t know what hungry means, and that’s a problem. But it’s a problem that’s only at the back of his mind, because at the front of his mind is the thing Cor said last. Cor said he couldn’t tell how he was feeling half the time. It hadn’t occurred to him that humans might also have difficulty identifying their feelings. He thought – it was only him. But Cor said–

He puts the tips of his fingers into his pocket, just enough to feel the edge of the paper. He thinks it ought to be worrying. If Cor doesn’t know how he’s feeling, how can he explain anything? How can he explain to Cor, and how can Cor explain to him? But it doesn’t feel worrying. It feels – reassuring. To know that he isn’t the only one who doesn’t understand.

“OK?” Cor says.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. He remembers he’s supposed to be drinking the tea, so he drinks some.

“Great,” Cor says. He looks over at Ignis. “We gotta get him onto something more substantial, though. If he’s passing out from not eating one meal–”

“Agreed,” Ignis says. He’s standing by the stove, stirring something in a pan. “I’ll make a plan.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Cor says. He looks at him, then at the books on the table. “Thanks,” he says again.

“You’re quite welcome,” says Ignis.

Cor keeps looking at him. Then he sighs. “Listen, I got to go do some things,” he says. “I don’t want to leave you on your own, but – I know Ignis will take good care of you. Probably better than I can. But if you need anything, you have to tell him, all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure what he could need.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He runs a hand through his hair. “OK, well – hey, I really enjoyed hanging out with you this morning. OK, kid? Just wanted you to know that.”

“Yes,” he says, since Cor seems to be waiting for a response. The statement is puzzling, though. He needs time to think about it.

“Great,” Cor says. He stands up. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yes,” he says again. Then Cor leaves. He pauses at the door, but he doesn’t look back. Then he goes through the door and closes it behind him.

“He’s becoming quite the worry-wart,” Ignis says, stirring his pan.

He doesn’t know what worry-wart means. He looks at the books in front of him. Then he looks at Ignis. He feels that surge of gratitude again. He wants to read the books, but he wants to do something for Ignis. Something to help Ignis. He stands up, but then he doesn’t know what to do next.

Ignis looks over his shoulder at him. “Are you all right?” he says.

“I–” he says. He gestures at Ignis, at the kitchen. Maybe he can do the stirring. “Can I help?”

Ignis looks at him for a moment. Then he turns back to the stove. He turns a dial and then turns to face him fully. He frowns slightly.

“Hm,” he says. “Yes, I think you can. There’s something I need some help with, and I think you are the perfect person to help me.”

He straightens up. Yes, good. Ignis understands that he can be useful.

“You see, I bought those books, but to be honest, I was only able to glance at them quite briefly,” Ignis says, gesturing at the books on the low table. “I hope they’re fit for purpose, but I need someone to check for me. Would you be able to do that?”

He turns to look at the books, feeling confused. “Check them how?” he asks.

“Oh, just read them,” Ignis says. “Not all of them, of course, but I think – reading some parts of them should be enough. If they answer some of your questions, then they’re fit for purpose.”

He looks at Ignis, then back at the books. It’s not the kind of task he was expecting to be assigned, but Ignis did say it would help him. And he wants to read the books. He wants to, so much.

“Is that all right?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. He sits down and reaches for the closest book. “How long should I read them for?”

“Until you get bored, I suppose,” Ignis says.

He doesn’t know what bored means.

He opens the book.

~

After a while, he discovers something.

He starts with the book that answers questions. He learns a lot, but there are lots of words he doesn’t know. It takes him several pages of half-understood information to remember that the other two books contain explanations of words. Then it takes some experimentation to understand that both of them list words in alphabetical order, but that Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia has explanations of things, like places and people and animals, while Royal Lucian Dictionary has explanations of words. Then, every time he finds a word he doesn’t know, he finds it in Royal Lucian Dictionary. Sometimes the explanation in Royal Lucian Dictionary also includes words he doesn’t know, and he finds himself in a chain of looking up new words. Some words have multiple meanings, and it isn’t always clear which is meant. But even so, he learns. He learns, and he learns how to learn, and he feels filled with a sort of fizzing, electric feeling.

He learns: the world is called Eos. It looks flat, but actually it’s like a ball. It hangs in an empty nothingness called space. Space contains other objects, particularly very large balls of flaming gas called stars. All of this takes him a long time to read, because he has to look up a lot of words. When he’s reached the end of this section, he sits back and stares at the book.

Ignis comes over, then. He’s holding a cup with soup in it.

“How’s the book?” he asks.

He looks up at Ignis. He doesn’t speak, but Ignis must see something in his expression, because he raises his eyebrows and sits down.

“Oh dear,” he says. “Is it not suitable?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think – it’s right,” he says. “It says–” He turns the page back. “Here, it says – is this right?”

Ignis puts the soup down and leans over. He reads the page, then looks at him.

“Yes,” he says. “I know it sounds very strange, but all of that is true.”

He stares at Ignis. Then he looks out of the window. The sky is blue, not black like the space shown in the book. He looks at the image in the book again. He tries to understand how the world could be a ball. It doesn’t seem to make any sense.

“Perhaps this wasn’t the best book to begin with,” Ignis says. He says it very quietly. Then he speaks louder. “There’s quite a lot for you to learn to be able to make sense of it,” he says. “The problem is that you don’t have the background information yet. For now, you must just accept that it’s true, even if it doesn’t all make sense yet. Do you think you can do that?”

He looks at Ignis. He doesn’t think Ignis has ever lied to him. And Ignis clearly understands these things – Ignis has all the background information that he doesn’t know. So – yes. He can accept it. If Ignis says it’s true, then – he can accept it.

“Yes,” he says.

Ignis smiles. “Good,” he says. “I know you have a long way to go, but I promise you, the world is quite a wonderful place, once you understand more about it.”

He looks out of the window again. The sky seems to shimmer, so deep and blue. At night, it’s black. Like the image of space in the book. He wonders what it means. “Yes,” he says. “It’s wonderful.”

He looks back at Ignis to see his smile has widened. And he thinks of something. He doesn’t think Ignis would lie to him. And Ignis knows so much more than he does about everything. So perhaps–

He puts his hand in his pocket and feels the crinkle of paper. Carefully, he pulls it out and unfolds it. He smoothes it on his knee and looks at it for a moment. The list is still there, and under it, the promise. I will never permit anyone to send you back to the facility. He swallows against the fluttering feeling in his throat.

“What’s that?” Ignis asks.

Silently, he holds the paper out. Ignis takes it and reads it. He can see his eyes moving down the page. When he reaches the end, the lines of his expression have softened.

“Cor gave this to you?” Ignis asks.

He nods. He tries to speak, but it feels like something’s blocking his throat. He coughs and tries again.

“Is it right?” he asks. His voice sounds strange.

Ignis looks up at him, eyebrows raised. “Do you mean is it true?” he asks.

He nods again. He stops breathing to make sure he’ll hear Ignis’ answer properly.

“Yes,” Ignis says. “All of this is true.”

He sits still. He feels as though parts of his insides have dissolved. It’s not painful, but it’s – strange. Ignis says everything Cor wrote down is true. That means he won’t go back to the facility. He won’t go back. Why?

It doesn’t matter why. Just like he doesn’t know how the world is a ball hanging in an empty space. He doesn’t know why, but it doesn’t matter, not now. It only matters that it’s true. It’s true, because Ignis said it was true.

Ignis holds the paper out, and he takes it. He looks at it. There are other things on it – not just the item about not going back to the facility. The item about dreams – about it being normal to hallucinate when you’re asleep. That makes him feel a pang of fear, but it’s not enough to counterbalance the loose, liquid feeling of relief. And the first item. The item that says You are a human being.

You are a human being.

The world is a ball hanging in space, surrounded by giant balls of flaming gas. It’s normal to hallucinate when you’re asleep. Ignis thinks he’s a human being.

No-one will send him back to the facility.

“Prompto?” Ignis says. “Are you all right?”

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. His voice cracks.

Ignis nods. “You should drink your soup before it gets cold,” he says.

And so he does.

Chapter Text

After that, he reads and he drinks soup. When he finishes the soup, Ignis brings him more. Ignis turns on music and sits at his table, reading papers and typing on his computer. The music is soft and smooth, and it makes the room feel quiet and calm. Everything is quiet and calm. Except inside his head. Inside his head, nothing is calm. Everything feels bright and tense. He reads, and he learns new things, and each new thing feels like a buzz in his brain. It’s not a bad feeling – maybe it’s even a good feeling. But it’s not quiet.

He doesn’t keep reading Wonderful World: A Children’s First Book of Eos Primoris Cognoscentia. The image of the ball of rock hanging in empty black space is unsettling, and he doesn’t want to think about it now. Instead, he looks for things he doesn’t understand in Royal Lucian Dictionary and Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia. First, he looks for hungry. Next to it, the explanation reads: feeling an uneasy or painful sensation from lack of food. He considers this. Then he looks for uneasy. The explanation is: causing mental or physical discomfort. It’s a useful word. But it doesn’t help him with hungry. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt pain or discomfort from lack of food. He wonders what kind of pain is meant. How would he recognise it? He’s not sure. But Cor told him earlier to report if he was hungry. He’ll have to pay attention and see if he can recognise it.

So. He’ll pay attention. That’s the plan of action. He sits still for a moment and pays attention. Does he feel any pain or discomfort? His head hurts a little, but he doesn’t think that has anything to do with food. So he decides he’s probably not hungry. He drinks some more soup, just in case.

Next, he looks for bored. The explanation is unhelpful: filled with or characterised by boredom. He looks for boredom. The explanation is: the state of being weary or restless from lack of interest. He frowns at this. It seems incomplete, somehow. Lack of interest in what? How can lack of interest make someone weary? He thinks about it for a long time, but he doesn’t understand, even though he understands all the words in the explanation. Eventually, he tries looking for it in Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia, even though he doesn’t think it’ll be there because it’s not a thing, just a feeling. He’s right, and he thinks a little more and then gives up. He hopes soon he can understand what bored means, but thinking about it isn’t helping. Instead, he looks up cacti in Royal Lucian Dictionary.

He learns: cacti is a plural word – the singular is cactus. Cacti are succulent plants, which means they taste very good (he assumes the spines are removed before eating). They live in places where it doesn’t rain much. Then he looks up cactus in Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia and he learns: the spines are like leaves that have changed into spines by evolution, which means change over time (which doesn’t explain very much). The main part of the cactus often has water stored in it. Cacti may have flowers, which are colourful parts of a plant used for reproduction. Here he stops and thinks about the plants he’s seen. All parts of the plants he’s seen have been colourful, but most of the colour they have is green. But some parts are different colours, like the yellow parts on the plant Cor told him to look after. He wonders if those are flowers. There’s no picture with the explanation in Royal Lucian Dictionary, so he can’t be sure. He turns to Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia, but before he can look for flower, he’s distracted by the item above cactus, which has a picture of a strange, green, barrel-shaped humanoid with spikes on its head. Cactuar, the bolded word says.

And he reads.

~

He’s been reading for some time when Noctis arrives, followed by the one with the images. Noctis raises his hand when he sees him.

“Hey,” Noctis says. He comes over and sits down heavily on the couch, dropping his bag on the floor. He sprawls for a moment, head tilted back to stare at the ceiling. Then he rolls his head to one side and looks at him.

“Wanna play Shoot the Messenger?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He does want to play, but he wants to read as well. Maybe he can read more later.

“Specs,” Noctis calls without moving his head.

Ignis looks up from the papers he’s reading and sighs, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I assume you want me to lend Prompto my phone?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Noctis says.

Ignis sighs again. “It’s too much to ask for you to come and fetch it yourself, of course,” he says. He stands up and walks over, holding out his phone.

He reaches out to take the phone. He doesn’t like the way Ignis is frowning; he feels as though he’s done something wrong. The one with the images says something under his breath, but he doesn’t sharpen his hearing quickly enough to hear it.

“Whatever,” Noctis says. He pulls his own phone out. “Ready, Prompto?”

“Yes,” he says.

And they play. But not for very long. After three games, Noctis yawns very widely. He puts his phone down on the arm of the couch. “I’m just gonna–” he says. Then he closes his eyes.

He sits and looks at Noctis, wondering what the end of the sentence will be. Then he wonders if Noctis has fallen asleep. Then he decides Noctis has definitely fallen asleep. He wonders what he should do with Ignis’ phone. After a few more minutes, he carefully puts it down on the table and turns back to the books. He looks at Noctis every minute or two to make sure he’s still asleep. He always is.

It’s quiet. Noctis breathes deeply. The one with the images is sitting at the table in the part of the room that functions as a kitchen, eating something. Ignis is typing on his computer. Then the one with the images stands up. He comes over and sits down opposite him. He looks at Noctis and shakes his head. Then he looks at him.

“Whatcha reading?” the one with the images says.

Royal Lucian Dictionary,” he says.

The one with the images raises his eyebrows. “Yeah?” he says. “That’s pretty racy stuff. You sure you’re old enough?”

He’s not sure what the one with the images means. He looks at Ignis.

“Don’t tease him, Gladio,” Ignis says, without looking up from his papers. “Prompto, ignore Gladio. He’s being facetious.”

The one with the images smiles with half of his mouth. He pulls a book out of his pocket. It’s small and battered, and when he sharpens his vision he sees that the image on the front is of two humans, one male, one female, both wearing very little clothing. The title is Reproductive Rites. He wonders what the subject is.

“We could start a book club,” the one with the images says.

He isn’t sure whether book club is a club made from a book or a club used to strike a book. “Yes,” he says.

The one with the images smiles with half his mouth again and opens his book.

“Let me know how yours ends,” he says. “I’ve been thinking of reading it myself.”

“Yes,” he says, and then, since he’s already looked at the end, “The last word is zygote.”

The one with the images snorts. “I hate predictable endings,” he says.

He waits to see if the one with the images will say anything else, but he doesn’t. He just reads his own book. The one with the images reads, and Ignis types on his computer, and Noctis sleeps. The music is playing and everything is quiet and calm.

He turns back to the books.

~

He’s still reading when Cor comes back.

“Time to go, kid,” Cor says.

He stands up and walks towards Cor. Cor frowns at him.

“You forgot your books,” he says.

He turns and looks at the books. Then he looks at Cor. Then he looks at Ignis.

“Should I take them with me?” he asks. Maybe Ignis wants him to keep checking them in the evening.

“Of course,” Ignis says. “They’re your books, after all.”

He stares at Ignis for a moment. He feels something unfolding in his chest, like when Cor said it before. Cor gave him plants to look after, and he said they’re yours. He’s tried not to think about it because he can’t quite make sense of it. But now Ignis said they’re your books. And Ignis said the items on the paper were all true. Including the first item. You are a human being.

He goes back to the table and picks up the first book. It feels heavy in his hand, full of explanations. The thing in his chest unfolds. It makes his chest feel like it’s expanding. He puts the book in the bag. Then he puts the other books in the bag. He holds the bag. His chest expands.

“Noct, wake up and say goodbye to your friend,” Ignis says. Noctis doesn’t stir. The one with the images grunts and kicks Noctis’ foot where it’s close to him.

“Wake up, your laziness,” he says.

Noctis’ eyes flutter half open. “Wha–?” he says.

“Prompto’s going home,” Ignis says.

“What?” Noctis says. His eyes are still mostly closed. “Why?”

“Because he doesn’t live here, genius,” the one with the images says. “If you wanted to play with him, you should’ve tried not falling asleep.”

Noctis make a low, grumbling sort of noise in his throat. “You’re coming back tomorrow, though, right?” he says.

He looks at Cor. Cor shrugs.

“If you want to come back, you can come back,” Cor says. He’s smiling a little.

He looks back at Noctis. “Yes,” he says.

“Cool,” Noctis says. His eyes are fully closed, now. He raises his hand, curled into a fist.

He looks at Noctis. Noctis holds his fist out for a moment, then opens one eye. He reaches out and grabs his hand. He makes it into a fist and lifts it up. Then he brings their two fists together.

“Fist bump,” he says, closing his eyes again.

He looks at his fist. “Fist bump,” he says.

The one with the images snorts.

“OK, kid, let’s get you home,” Cor says.

~

That evening, after dinner, he takes the books up to the room where he sleeps. He takes them out of the bag and puts them on the table. Then he checks the plants. He gives some water to the one with the red leaves. Then he examines the spheroidal object. It’s a cactus. It’s a plant. He sees that there’s soil under the stones in its pot, just like with the other two plants. He looks carefully at the spines. He touches the smooth green skin of the spheroid, in between the spines. There’s water in there. When he gives it water, the water ends up inside the spheroid. The cactus stores it there so that it can survive for a long time without any more water. He wonders if the cactus can think. What it thinks about being in a pot on a shelf next to a window, instead of outside in a place where it doesn’t rain much.

It probably doesn’t think.

He goes back to the table. He reads the item in Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia about cactus again. He doesn’t understand a lot of it, and looking up the words doesn’t really help. But he reads it anyway. Then he reads the one about cactuar. Cactuars are very dangerous. Still, he wonders what it would be like to see one. Maybe if he was careful and stayed well back, he could see one and not get hurt. He looks at the image in the book. Someone must have made the image, and maybe they didn’t get hurt. So he could learn to be like that person, and maybe he could make images of things, too. He thinks about it for a while, what it must be like, to be a person who makes images. He doesn’t know how people get chosen to make images. But he’s seen so many images in books, so there must be some people whose function is to make them.

He shakes himself. He’s stupid. He could never be a person who makes images because – he’s not a person. And he’s not allowed to make images. He’s not permitted to have a phone, and phones are what you use to make images. And he’s not permitted to go anywhere on his own, and he definitely can’t go out to places where cactuars live and make images of them. Cor says he’s not going back to the facility, but that doesn’t mean he can just – be a person. He’s not a person. Even though Ignis said he was.

He shakes his head. He feels his thoughts twisting round each other. It’s confusing. He presses his fingers into his temples until it hurts, and then focusses on the pain. It helps a little. Then he looks at the book. He doesn’t think about himself, and what he is, and what his function is. He just thinks about the information in the book. He’ll just read the book. He’ll read the book.

There’s a hand on his arm. He opens his eyes. He’s still sitting at the table, but now his head is down, resting on something smooth and cool. Cor is standing over him.

“Looks like it’s time you went to bed, kid,” Cor says.

He sits up. He feels fuzzy and his thoughts are moving slowly. He sees that the book’s open in front of him. He was lying on the book. He was sleeping on the book.

“Hey, come on,” Cor says. He takes his arm and helps him up. “Bed.”

He changes his clothes and gets into the bed. Cor pulls the covers up around him. He puts a hand on his head, then takes it away. “You need anything?” he asks.

“No,” he says. His voice sounds like he needs to clear his throat.

“OK,” Cor says. “Sleep well, OK, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. Then Cor turns off the light and leaves the room.

He stares at the ceiling. He doesn’t want to sleep in case he hallucinates again. But he feels barely awake. His eyes keep closing by themselves. And Cor said to go to sleep. And if he hallucinates – maybe Cor will wake him up, like he did before. Maybe Cor will help him. Cor said he wanted to help him.

He falls asleep. And he doesn’t dream of anything.

~

The next day, Ignis gives him something new. It’s soup, but there are things floating in it. Some of the things are spherical and green, and some are a deep pinkish-red and irregularly shaped.

“These are peas,” Ignis says, pointing to the spherical green things. “And this is ham.”

He stares at the soup. He’s not sure why it has peas and ham floating in it.

“We need to train your digestive system to deal with solid food,” Ignis says. “A young man your age needs plenty of food. I’m sure you’re growing very fast.”

He looks down at himself. He hasn’t noticed himself growing fast.

The one with the images snorts. He’s sitting on the couch reading his book. Noctis isn’t here, but the one with the images is.

“Let’s hope you grow outwards as well as upwards,” the one with the images says. “I’ve never seen such a beanpole.”

Ignis sighs. “I’m not sure your contributions are strictly necessary,” he says to the one with the images. Then he turns back to him. “Peas are a type of vegetable,” he says. “Ham is a type of meat. Please, eat.”

The soup is in a bowl, not in a cup like usual. There’s a spoon next to the bowl. He picks it up and tries not to think about the rice pudding that Cor gave him before, and how it made him feel so bad. He scoops some liquid into the spoon. He manages to avoid any of the floating objects. He swallows the spoonful and looks up to see Ignis watching him.

“Prompto,” Ignis says, “please at least try to eat the peas and ham.”

He feels his stomach sink. Ignis knows he tried to avoid following instructions. He doesn’t want Ignis to think he’s disobedient. He wants Ignis to think he’s useful, and obedient, and well-disciplined.

He scoops up another spoonful. This time there are two peas and one ham in it. He takes a deep breath and puts the spoon in his mouth. Now he needs to chew. He’s seen Cor and Ignis chewing, so he knows chewing is necessary.

He chews. One of the peas bursts between his teeth. It’s a strange feeling. Then there’s a taste in his mouth. It tastes – good. The pea tastes fresh and green and cool. The ham tastes dark and rich. They combine to make a taste that’s not like anything he’s tasted before.

He swallows. It feels strange for a moment, but he’s so distracted by the new taste that he almost doesn’t notice. And then – he’s followed instructions. He’s eaten some of the peas and ham. And – it wasn’t bad. It was good. It wasn’t so difficult. And it tasted good.

“How’s that?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. “It tastes good.”

Ignis smiles, a bright smile that makes his face look lighter and softer.

“Wait till you try Cup Noodle,” the one with the images says.

~

Not long after that, there’s a knock on the door. Ignis goes to answer it. There’s a person standing there, next to the silent one. He’s wearing the same uniform as the silent one.

“Come to take the MT for a check-up,” he says. “Shield’s orders.”

Ignis looks at him. “Prompto,” he says.

He gets up and goes to the door. The one with the uniform looks at him. His jaw tightens.

“You’ll bring him back here afterwards, I assume?” Ignis says.

“Yes, sir,” the one with the uniform says.

“Wait,” says the one with the images. “I’m coming.” He drops his book on the couch and jumps over the back of it, striding over to them.

Ignis frowns at him. “What for?” he asks.

The one with the images smiles, a broad smile showing his teeth. “Come on, Iggy,” he says. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to know what’s under the hood?”

Ignis’ frown deepens. “I don’t care to, no,” he says. His voice sounds cold.

The one with the images shrugs. “Come on, blondie,” he says. He takes his arm and leads him away from the door. The one with the uniform and the silent one follow behind.

Nobody says anything. They walk down the corridor and get into the elevator. They go down a number of floors. Then they get out. They walk down another corridor. There’s no carpet on this one, and the ceiling is much lower. Eventually, they reach a heavy metal door, painted green. The one with the uniform knocks and someone calls out from inside. The one with the uniform opens the door.

Inside, there’s a room filled with humming equipment. Also inside are the two engineers. They both stand up when they come in.

“One MT, as requested,” the one with the uniform says.

The one with the images lets go of his arm. The shorter engineer comes forward and takes him by the wrist.

“Great,” she says. She leads him to a chair. “Sit.” He sits. She bounces on her feet a little, then leans down and peers into his eyes. “Wow,” she says. “I’m never gonna get over these things.”

The one with the uniform starts talking quietly to the silent one. The one with the images leans against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. The shorter engineer pulls out a flashlight and shines it in his eyes.

“I’m so looking forward to finding out how you work,” she says. He wonders if he’s supposed to respond. He doesn’t think so. Usually the engineers ask him specific questions if they want him to respond.

Usually they tell him to undress. They haven’t told him to do that yet. He hopes they don’t, and then he wonders why he hopes that. It doesn’t make any difference if he’s clothed or unclothed. But the thought of undressing makes him feel bad. He doesn’t know why.

The shorter engineer moves round behind him. She traces the port at the base of his neck. Then she leans over. She must be close to the port because he can feel her breathing on it.

“You almost ready?” she asks.

“Few seconds.” The taller engineer is sitting at a computer. He can hear him typing, but he’s facing away so he can’t see what’s on the screen.

At the other end of the room. The one with the uniform is showing the one with the images something on his phone. The one with the images laughs.

“OK, go,” the taller engineer says. There’s a sound behind him, something clattering on a table, and then there’s a pressure against the port at the base of his neck. Something clicks into place. A cable jack. He shifts in his chair and becomes aware that there’s a cable attached to his neck. It’s heavy. He tries to see where it leads without turning round, but he can’t.

“OK – uh, nothing’s happening,” the taller engineer says. “There’s no connection.”

“Fuck,” says the shorter engineer. She’s still standing behind him. She pulls on the cable, and there’s a moment of pain, then the release of the pressure. Then the pressure returns. There’s the click again, more decisive this time. “How’s that?”

Before, the pressure was uncomfortable, but static. Now, he feels it start to build. It starts at the base of his neck, but moves upwards fast, into his head.

“Huh,” the taller engineer says. “Yeah – something. I’m not sure how to navigate this.”

“Let me see,” says the shorter engineer. She moves from behind him. “Wow, I can’t believe you actually got a connection.”

The pressure in his head is painful now. He feels it behind his eyes, in his ears, in the centre of his brain. He blinks, feeling his teeth start to ache. It’s a bad connection. His teeth feel like they’re pulsing, now, throbbing in time with the pain in his head. Behind him, the engineers are talking, but he can’t understand what they’re saying. Every word seems bright and sharp and jagged and meaningless. He feels something warm dribble out of one of his nostrils, then the other. He opens his mouth to tell them it’s a bad connection. It’s a bad – it’s a bad, bad co– bad connect–

He falls off his chair.

He hits the ground some time later. His vision is blurred, and all the fuzzy shapes he can see grow and shrink in time with the pulsing pain. There’s a loud noise somewhere. He thinks he’s lying on the floor, but he feels like he’s submerged in water. He feels like there’s water filling his mouth, closing his throat. He thinks maybe he’s about to die.

And then: the pressure stops. It hurts in a different way, and then it stops. Immediately, the pain is reduced. It hasn’t gone, but it’s not all-powerful any more. His throat opens. His hearing is dominated by a buzzing sound, but now the loud noise resolves itself into words.

“...said don’t move, asshole.”

It’s the one with the images. He’s somewhere nearby. He blinks, but his vision remains blurry. He thinks he can see feet in black boots. The feet turn. They walk towards him.

“Lacertus, get Cor down here, now,” the one with the images says.

The feet stop in front of his face. Then whoever it is kneels down.

“Hey,” the one with the images says. He’s close by, now. “Hey, Prompto. Fuck. Prompto? Can you hear me?”

He can hear. He can’t see, not well, but he can hear. His head hurts. It hurts.

“Yes,” he says. It sounds far away in his ears.

“OK,” the one with the images says. “Don’t move, all right? Shit, you’re bleeding. We’re gonna get Cor, OK?”

He blinks. Cor. Yes. If Cor was there – it would be better if Cor was there. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know anything. It was a bad connection. And now – he doesn’t know what happens now. But he wishes Cor was there.

“OK,” the one with the images says. He feels a warm hand on his arm. It’s not heavy, like the one with the images is afraid to put too much pressure on him. “Let’s – uh – can you sit up?”

He tries. The room spins. His head throbs. He feels hands on his arms.

“OK, that’s definitely making the bleeding worse,” the one with the images says. Then he speaks again, his voice sharper. “Who told you you could move? Stay there if you want to keep all your teeth.”

“Listen, just because you’re the Shield’s kid–” says the shorter engineer. She sounds far away.

“You think that’s all I’ve got going for me?” the one with the images says. “Try me.”

The shorter engineer doesn’t speak again.

Then there are footsteps. Running. The door clangs. And then there’s a new blurry shape, and a hand on his face.

“Six,” says a voice. Cor’s voice. He sounds out of breath. “Kid. Fuck.” The hands touch him, his shoulders, his arms. “What the fuck happened?”

“They plugged that thing into his neck,” the one with the images says. “It fucked him up good.”

What?” Cor says. Then his blurry face disappears. He speaks again, sounding further away and higher up and angry. “What is that? What’s it for?”

“It’s just a data transfer cable, sir,” the shorter engineer says. She sounds frightened. “We need to see his programming.”

“If it’s just a data transfer cable, why is he bleeding on the floor?” Cor asks.

“Bad connection,” he says. He tries to say it. It doesn’t come out right, and nobody hears him.

“Sir, our orders are to find out what’s in his head,” the taller engineer says. “He’s awake, he’s talking. We’re getting valuable data, if we can just plug him in for a couple more minutes–”

His words cut off suddenly, lost in the sound of an impact. A crunch, like something breaking, and a pained noise.

“Ah, shit, my fucking nose,” the taller engineer says.

“You touch that kid again, I’m coming for you, you understand?” Cor says. His voice is quiet, but he sounds so angry, it makes his skin crawl. There’s the sound of a footstep, then Cor speaks again. “That goes for both of you.”

Then Cor’s face appears in front of him again, blurry and pale. The fingers touch his cheek, then under his nose.

“I’ve sent Geminis for a potion,” the one with the images says.

“No potions,” Cor says. “Kid, we’re getting you out of here, all right? I’m here, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

He thinks about what Cor said to him the day before. That it was his job to protect him. That he would stop anyone who tried to hurt him. It didn’t make sense then, and it doesn’t make sense now.

“I’ll take him,” the one with the images says. “It was my fault, I should have been paying more attention.”

“No,” Cor says. Then there’s arms under his knees and back, lifting him off the ground. “He’s my responsibility. Hold onto me, OK, kid?”

It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense.

He holds on to Cor.

Chapter Text

His ears are buzzing.

They’re moving, still. He’s not sure where they’re going. He’s holding onto Cor, and he can hear other footsteps. The one with the images, he thinks. He’s not sure who else. He can’t think very well. His ears are buzzing.

He closes his eyes. It helps: the buzzing is quieter. He can’t see properly, anyway. And he’s not walking. Cor’s carrying him. He doesn’t think he can walk. He thinks his nose is bleeding again. He doesn’t need to see. So he keeps his eyes closed. It helps with the buzzing.

The one with the images says something. He tries to hear it, but the buzzing distorts the sound. It’s soft around the edges. He tries restarting his hearing, but it doesn’t help. He opens his eyes and the buzzing gets worse. It makes his head throb. He closes his eyes again and the buzzing gets better. It’s still there, but it doesn’t hurt as much.

Cor’s carrying him. His head is pressed up against Cor’s chest. But he can’t hear Cor’s heart beating. He can only hear the buzzing. He can feel Cor breathing, his chest expanding and contracting. But he can’t hear his heart beating.

He needs to be able to see and hear, but neither his vision nor his hearing are functioning correctly. If he shuts down one, maybe the other will function. At least then he’ll have one functioning sense instead of two malfunctioning ones. He doesn’t need to be able to see right now. He has his eyes closed anyway. So he shuts down his vision.

The buzzing fades until he can’t hear it any more. His hearing isn’t perfect, but it’s there. It’s disorienting, not being able to see. But it’s better than not being able to see or hear.

He listens. Even though his hearing is functioning better now, his thoughts are still muddled. He knows what happened: a bad connection. It caused his systems to malfunction. And then Cor came to fetch him, and now Cor is taking him somewhere. Cor was very angry. He can’t remember why. He’s not sure he ever knew why. He’s not sure if Cor is still angry. He can hear Cor’s heart beating now. It’s beating fast. Maybe Cor is still angry.

There’s the sound of a door. Then the footsteps change. Not carpet any more: some kind of tile. He hears a new voice. It’s the one with the white coat.

“What happened?” she asks. Her voice is sharp.

“Those assholes down in R&D did something to him,” Cor says. His voice is vibrating with tension. He’s still angry. Cor’s still angry. “They stuck a cable jack in his neck and now he’s – I don’t know.”

“Put him here,” the one with the white coat says. “Is he conscious?”

“I don’t know,” Cor says. Then he’s letting go of him. He’s laying him down on a surface. It’s not soft, but not as hard or cold as wood or metal.

He doesn’t want Cor to let him go. But Cor lets him go.

“Prompto?” the one with the white coat says. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” he says. His voice sounds quieter than usual.

He hears Cor let out a breath. He hears footsteps.

“Can you open your eyes for me?” the one with the white coat says.

He opens his eyes. He feels the one with the white coat touching his face. He feels a hint of warmth that tells him she’s leaning over him. Then she sighs.

“I really need an instruction manual,” she mutters.

“What’s wrong?” Cor asks. He sounds even angrier than before.

“Same thing that’s always wrong,” the one with the white coat says. “I don’t have a baseline. His pupils aren’t reacting, but they don’t react anyway, as far as I can tell, so – that’s not really helpful.” He feels a slight movement of air on his face. “Can you focus on my finger?”

He swallows. “No,” he says.

There’s a footstep. “What?” says Cor.

“Marshal, please,” the one with the white coat says. “Prompto – are you having trouble focusing?”

“Yes,” he says, and then, “My vision is malfunctioning. It was using too many resources so I shut it down.” His throat is dry, and the last few words are painful.

There’s a silence. Then the one with the images speaks. “Say what?”

“Prompto,” the one with the white coat says, “did you say – you shut your vision down?”

“Yes,” he says. It hurts to talk.

There’s a pause. “How?” asks the one with the white coat. She sounds surprised.

He doesn’t understand the question. “I – shut it down,” he says. “I shut down the process.”

“Wait.” It’s Cor speaking now. “You mean you can’t see at all right now? You’re blind?” His voice is sharp and loud.

He swallows. He tries to swallow. His throat is too dry. “Yes,” he says. It’s clear now: it wasn’t the right thing to do. “Should I restart the process?”

“Six, yeah, fuck,” Cor says. “Restart the fucking process, kid.”

He restarts the process. His heart was already beating too fast after the bad connection, but now it feels like it’s pounding in his chest and in his skull. He’s done the wrong thing and now Cor’s angry. His vision doesn’t come back online immediately, but the buzzing does. It flows like terrible music, rising and falling with the beating of his heart. Then his vision comes back online, and the light seems to pierce through his eyes into his brain. He squints, trying to keep his eyes open. He can’t see any detail, just a blinding white fog.

“Prompto?” the one with the white coat asks. He can barely understand her through the buzzing. “Does that hurt?”

“Yes,” he says. It hurts more now than it did before he shut the process down.

She asks him something else, but he can’t understand her. He closes his eyes and the buzzing reduces. “I didn’t hear,” he says. He can’t even really hear his own voice.

She speaks again. She’s much closer to his ear now. “I asked if it would hurt less if your vision was – uh, off,” she says.

He tries to swallow, but his throat just clicks. “Yes,” he says.

He hears an indistinct sound, then the one in the white coat speaks. “Then shut it down.”

He starts to shut down the process, but then he remembers that Cor didn’t want him to. “My or– orders were to r-restart,” he says. He thinks about water. Water is so cool and it tastes so good.

There’s talking, then. He can hear that Cor is talking, and the one with the white coat, but he can’t hear what they’re saying. At one point, Cor says, “He’ll be blind, come the fuck on,” but that’s the only thing he can make out. He opens his eyes briefly, but closes them again against the light and the buzzing.

Then someone’s next to him. It’s Cor. He’s talking. He’s close to his ear.

“Kid. If you shut down your eyes, is it going to damage them?”

“No,” he says. He wants to explain that it’s only dangerous if he shuts down too many of his processes at once. But he’s so tired.

“All right,” Cor says. “Shut them down.”

He obeys immediately. It’s a blessed relief, the buzzing fading rapidly to nothing. His head still hurts, but it’s – better. It’s so much better. He realises Cor’s hand is on his arm. He doesn’t know how long it’s been there.

“He’s bleeding,” Cor says.

“I’m hoping it’s just from the – overuse of resources, or however it was that he characterised it,” the one with the white coat says. “Here.”

A moment later, there’s something cool and damp pressing against his face, under his nose.

“Don’t get it on your skin,” the one with the white coat says. “It’s corrosive.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Cor says. He moves his hand from his arm, then puts it on his forehead. It feels somehow cool and warm at the same time. “Does it hurt less now, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

There’s a silence. “Hey, get him some water,” Cor says.

Water. Yes, water. Cor’s going to get him water. His head is spinning – he’s not sure how long that’s been going on. But Cor’s going to get him water. Cor will make sure nothing happens to him. He’s so tired, but he gathers together as much strength as he can and moves his hand to touch his pocket. The paper’s in there. Cor will make sure nothing happens to him. Cor will get him water.

“Water,” Cor says. Then there’s a hand holding up his head, and something at his lips, and water. Water, water. He drinks it, and Cor says something, and he drinks more. He drinks more. And he falls asleep.

~

He wakes up: he’s in a machine. It’s thumping. The machine is thumping. He falls asleep.

~

He wakes up: Cor and the one with the white coat are talking. Cor is close to him. Cor has a hand on his arm.

“I don’t know,” the one with the white coat says. “I can’t give you any solid answers. But his brain looks the same as it did at his last check-up.”

Cor’s hand tightens on his arm. He falls asleep.

~

He wakes up: he’s being lifted into the air. He makes a noise.

“Hey, you’re awake,” says Cor. It’s Cor who’s lifting him. Then he puts him down. He’s in a chair. “How are you feeling?”

“Yes,” he says. Then he realises it wasn’t the right response. It didn’t make sense. He feels tired.

Cor touches his forehead. He pushes his hair away where it’s hanging on his forehead. “Want some water?” he asks.

Water, yes. He wants water. “Thank you,” he says. That wasn’t quite right, either. But Cor seems to understand him, and a moment later there’s something at his lips.

“Here,” Cor says. Then there’s water. It’s good. Cor’s going to make sure nothing happens to him. Cor is making sure. Nothing’s happening to him. That’s what the paper says.

When he’s finished drinking the water, Cor holds him.

“I’m sorry,” Cor says.

Cor stops holding him and the chair starts moving.

He falls asleep.

~

He wakes up: a door is opening.

A chair scrapes on the floor. “Marshal,” says a voice. “What happened?” It’s Ignis. He sounds frightened.

“Turns out the check-up was an excuse to fuck around in the kid’s brain,” says the one with the images. He’s somewhere nearby. He sounds angry.

“What?” Ignis says. Now he sounds angry, too. “Is he all right? Prompto?”

“He’s asleep,” Cor says. “The doc says she doesn’t think he’s in any danger, but she wants him nearby for observation. So I can’t take him home.”

“Oh – by all means,” Ignis says. He doesn’t understand this, but a moment later Cor lifts him out of the chair. Cor feels warm. He holds onto Cor. When Cor lays him down on a soft surface, he forgets to let go.

“All right, kid,” Cor says. He says it quietly. Then he takes his hand. He pulls it away from his arm. But he doesn’t let it go. He holds onto it. “I’m staying right here,” he says.

Something soft and warm falls on top of him. “Do either of you need anything?” Ignis asks. He’s nearby. His voice is very quiet. Cor’s hand is warm.

He falls asleep.

~

He wakes up: a phone is ringing.

“Shit,” Cor whispers. Cor’s hand twitches around his, and then he speaks again, voice still very quiet. “I gotta take this, Ignis, could you–?”

“Of course,” Ignis whispers. A moment later, Cor lets go of his hand, but then he takes it again. There are footsteps. A door opens and closes. Then he hears Cor speaking on the other side of a wall. So it’s not Cor holding his hand. So it’s Ignis.

“Clarus,” Cor says. He sharpens his hearing to hear the other end of the conversation. It hurts a little, but not too badly.

“Cor,” says the voice at the other end of the phone. “I heard about what happened with the M– With the boy.”

“Did you,” Cor says. His voice is flat and very cold.

“We need to talk about this,” the one from the phone says. “I’m in my office.”

“No,” Cor says.

There’s a pause.

“Excuse me?” the one from the phone says.

“Last time I left that kid alone, your goons fried his brain,” Cor says. “So I’m not leaving him. You want to talk to me, you come here. Otherwise, no deal.”

“Medical has informed me that the boy is in no danger–” the one from the phone begins, but Cor cuts him off.

“Did medical tell you he can’t see?” he says. “Did medical tell you he had to fucking turn his eyes off because they were hurting him so bad? You did that, Clarus. You and your joke of an engineering department.”

“I don’t appreciate your tone,” the one from the phone says. He sounds angry now.

“I don’t appreciate a single fucking thing you’ve done since that kid came here, so I guess we’re even,” Cor says. He sounds even angrier than the one from the phone, but he’s still keeping his voice quiet.

“Enough,” the one from the phone snaps. “I understand that you’re upset, but you of all people should know that I cannot put the welfare of the boy ahead of the welfare of the kingdom. If there’s a threat, it must be neutralised–”

“Neutralised?” Cor says. He’s not quiet any more. He’s shouting now, so he could hear him even with his hearing at normal levels. “Neutralised? That’s my kid you’re talking about!”

There’s a silence. It’s somehow heavier than the earlier silences.

“Huh,” the one with the images mutters from somewhere nearby.

“Sh,” says Ignis. Ignis is sitting beside him holding his hand.

“I mean–” Cor says. His voice is back to a normal volume.

“I see,” says the one from the phone. “Where are you?”

“Ignis’ place,” Cor says. “Clarus–”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” the one from the phone says. Then the call ends.

There’s a long silence. Then a door opens and closes. Footsteps, coming towards him.

“Kid still asleep?” Cor whispers.

“As far as I can tell,” Ignis says.

The sound of shuffling. Ignis lets go of his hand. Cor takes it. “Clarus is coming over,” Cor says.

“Is he,” Ignis says. His voice sounds flat, like Cor’s did earlier.

He feels his nose start bleeding again.

~

After that, nobody says anything for a while. Somebody holds a cloth under his nose. There are muffled footsteps moving backwards and forwards, like somebody’s pacing. The one with the images says something about coffee. Quiet music starts to play.

There’s a knock at the door. Ignis doesn’t call out. Instead, there are footsteps, and the door opens.

“Come in,” Ignis says. His voice sounds cold. “Please keep your voice down.”

Footsteps. Cor lets go of his hand. A rustling sound.

“Is there somewhere we can talk?” says a voice. It’s the one from the phone. “Somewhere a little more private?”

“Of course,” Ignis says. A door opens and closes. More silence. Someone takes his hand. It must be Ignis, because a moment later he makes a disapproving-sounding noise from very nearby.

“Gladio, could you fetch me another cloth?” he says. “This one appears to have largely dissolved.”

Then Cor starts speaking in another room, and he tunes his hearing in to listen to that and exclude most of what’s happening in the room he’s in.

“Make it quick,” Cor says. “I’ve got a sick kid to look after.”

The one from the phone sighs. “Cor,” he says. “First, let me say that I was not aware you had – grown quite so attached. I would not have spoken so tactlessly, had I known.”

“Right,” Cor says. “Because people’s lives only matter if they’re people we care about, right?”

“I see you’re determined to twist everything I say,” the one from the phone says. “You know full well that individual lives cannot be held above the safety of the King and the kingdom.”

“Do I?” Cor snaps.

There’s a silence.

“Are you telling me that you no longer consider the safety of the King to be your primary, overriding concern?” the one from the phone asks. He speaks the words very clearly and slowly.

“Shit,” Cor mutters, then, “No, shit, Clarus. That’s not what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying. Six, I don’t know what’s going on with me right now.”

“That makes two of us,” says the one from the phone. His voice is warmer now. “My friend. I should be clearer. By neutralised, I certainly did not mean killed. And I am convinced the boy is not a knowing agent of the Empire. But if there are orders in his programming that even he is not aware of, we need to know. You must understand this.”

A long pause. “Yeah,” Cor says. “But right now what you’ve got is assholes who’ve only ever worked on machines before messing around in his head without the first clue what they’re doing. That’s like – getting a hospital janitor to perform brain surgery. They could have killed him.”

“They’re the best in their field,” the one from the phone says.

“Fuck you,” Cor mutters.

“Excuse me?” the one from the phone says.

There’s a silence.

“Come with me,” Cor says.

Footsteps. A door opens. The footsteps come closer.

“Ignis, take the cloth away,” Cor says.

The cloth is removed from under his nose. He feels blood begin to ooze out onto his upper lip.

“This is what your guys did,” Cor says. His voice is very deep. “Best in their field. They didn’t stop when he started bleeding.”

“All the same–” the one from the phone starts, but Cor speaks across him.

“No, Clarus. Look. You gotta look at him.”

Silence. Ignis squeezes his hand.

“OK,” Cor says. “Now here’s the thing. What if it was Iris?”

The silence this time is longer. Heavier. He feels itchy, uncomfortable – uneasy, he remembers the word – but he lies still. He keeps his eyes closed.

“All right, my friend,” the one from the phone says at last. “I think I begin to understand.”

“So what now?” Cor asks. They’re both still standing at his feet. He wishes they would go somewhere else.

“I don’t know, yet,” the one from the phone says. “But – I can see that we need to be more cautious.”

“I’m not letting those assholes see him again,” Cor says.

A pause.

“We’ll talk with the King. There must be other avenues we can explore.”

“OK,” Cor says. “OK.”

There’s a short silence. “You broke the man’s nose, you know,” the one from the phone says.

The one with the images snorts. “Bet he cried like a baby,” he mutters.

“Do you have something to add, Gladiolus?” the one with the phone says.

“No, sir,” the one with the images says. He sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. “Just – it was a clean hit. I would have smashed his face in.”

“I hope you’re not expecting an apology,” Cor says.

A pause. The one from the phone sighs. “It seems he deserved it,” he says. There’s a rustling noise. “We’ll talk, once the boy’s recovered,” he says. “And – I’m sorry, Cor. It was not my intention that he get hurt.”

“Understood,” says Cor. There’s more rustling, footsteps. A door opens and closes.

“Bye, dad,” the one with the images mutters.

There’s the creak of a chair. Cor sighs, closer now. “Kid wake up at all?” he asks, speaking in a whisper.

“I rather think he’s been awake for some time,” Ignis replies.

“What?” Cor says. “Kid? You awake?”

“Yes,” he says.

There’s a pause. “Shit,” Cor mutters. “You heard all that?”

“Yes,” he says. He heard all the things Cor and the one from the phone said. He even thinks he should have understood some of it. But his mind seems to be malfunctioning. Certain words stand out, and others seem to be meaningless. He can hear the one from the phone’s voice. By neutralised, I did not mean killed. And Cor: that’s my kid you’re talking about. That’s my kid. He knows these things are important. But he can’t understand them. He thinks about the pressure, when the engineer plugged the cable into his port. He thinks about how much it hurt. He thinks about how dark it is. How he can’t see where Cor is.

“Hey,” Cor says. “Hey, no. Don’t cry, kid. It’s all right. I’m here, I’m right here.”

He hears Cor’s voice. Ignis lets go of his hand and then someone else takes it. Cor takes it. Cor holds onto his hand.

“What’s wrong,” Cor says. “Is something hurting? Kid, please. Tell me why you’re crying.”

He swallows. “I don’t know,” he whispers.

Then he’s being lifted up. He’s sitting up, and Cor’s holding him. “OK,” Cor says. “All right. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry. But I’m here now. It’s all right. I’m here now.”

Cor’s here now.

He cries.

~

It’s quiet, later. Cor doesn’t leave. He listens to Cor, where he’s sitting. He thinks he must be on the couch, and Cor is sitting on a chair beside him. He listens to Cor breathing to make sure he doesn’t leave.

Cor doesn’t leave.

Ignis makes cooking noises in the kitchen. The one with the images is still here, too. He listens to his breathing and thinks he’s sitting at the table. He doesn’t hear pages turning, so he doesn’t think he’s reading. There’s music playing. There’s no-one else in the room.

Then the door opens.

“Hey, Specs.” It’s Noctis. He hears the muffled thud of Noctis’ bag hitting the ground. “Uh – hey, Cor.”

“Noct,” Ignis says, but then Noctis takes several steps forward and stops.

“Prompto?” he says.

“Noct,” Ignis says again. He’s close to Noctis now. “Prompto is unwell.”

“Huh?” Noctis says. “What? He was fine yesterday. What’s wrong with him?”

There’s a brief pause. Then Cor speaks. “Tell him,” he says. “He’ll find out anyway.”

Another brief pause, then the one with the images starts talking. He’s talking very quietly, and his voice is muffled, like he’s turned away. He wants to sharpen his hearing to listen, but he can’t focus on listening to the one with the images and listening to Cor breathing at the same time.

“Seriously?” Noctis says. He says it loudly. He sounds angry. “What the fuck?”

“Hey, keep your voice down,” the one with the images says. Then Ignis speaks.

“Noct?” he says. “Where are you going?”

“To find Clarus,” Noctis says.

“Cor’s already talked to him,” the one with the images says. “You’ll just make things worse.”

Worse?” Noctis says. He sounds angry. “Prompto’s gone blind.”

“It’s temporary,” Cor says then. He says it loudly, so Noctis can hear. Then he says it again, more quietly. “It’s temporary.”

“Highness,” Ignis says then. “Prompto needs your friendship now more than he needs your anger. However well-deserved it is.”

Silence. Then Noctis speaks.

“Yeah, OK,” he says. “But you’re getting the names of those engineers, Ignis.”

“Of course,” Ignis says.

“OK,” Noctis says again. Then footsteps come towards him. He hears Noctis sitting on the couch next to the one he’s lying on. He doesn’t drop down and sprawl and sigh, like usual. He sits quietly. He doesn’t say anything for a while. He just breathes.

“You awake, kid?” Cor says at last.

“Yes,” he says. He opens his eyes to show Cor he’s awake.

“Noctis is here to see you,” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says. He turns his head and tries to direct his eyes towards where he thinks Noctis is.

He hears Noctis swallow. “You really can’t see me, huh?” he says.

“No,” he says. “I shut down my vision.”

“That’s fucked up,” Noctis says. There’s a touch on his arm. “You can still feel me, right?”

“Yes,” he says.

There’s a pause. “I mean – you can just turn your eyes off whenever you want?” Noctis says. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s a strange question. Surely even if Noctis didn’t already know he could shut down his vision, it would be obvious by now?

“Huh,” Noctis says. “That’s – kind of awesome. Can you shut down anything else?”

“Yes,” he says. “I can shut down all my processes if required.”

“What, like, even your heart and stuff?” Noctis says.

“Hey, whoa,” Cor says. “No-one’s shutting down their heart, all right?” He squeezes his hand.

“Yeah, don’t do that, obviously,” Noctis says. “But – you can?”

“Yes,” he says. “If required.”

“It’s not required,” Cor says.

Noctis doesn’t say anything. He touches his arm again. “It’s like you’ve got super-powers,” he says. “Though I guess it’d be better if you could, like, enhance your vision instead of just turning it off.”

He opens his mouth to tell Noctis that he can enhance his vision, but Noctis speaks again. “Hey, you wanna play – oh, uh, I guess not.”

There’s quiet for a little while then. Cor sits beside him. Noctis is on the other couch. No-one says anything. He thinks about all the things that have happened. He doesn’t want to think about what happened with the engineers. But he wants to think about what happened afterwards. That Cor came to find him. That Cor said that’s my kid you’re talking about. He doesn’t understand what it means. But it makes him feel good. So he thinks about it. He thinks about it, and he slips towards sleep.

“Hey, so, they just announced that the next episode of King’s Knight is coming out in two months’ time,” Noctis says suddenly. “MoogleGroups is going crazy with spoilers.”

He shakes himself awake. He doesn’t know what MoogleGroups is.

“What’s MoogleGroups?” asks Cor.

“Uh, seriously?” Noctis says. “It’s, like, where you go on the internet to chat about stuff.”

“What stuff?” Cor asks.

“Everything,” Noct says. “I mean – games, mostly, but I guess you can chat about other stuff, if you want. There’s this guy called AssCred217, he’s shooting his mouth off everywhere saying Rishard is going to betray the King.”

He frowns. His thoughts are still muddled, so he thinks perhaps he doesn’t understand. “Why will he do that?” he asks. When they’ve played the game, Rishard has always supported the King.

“Exactly!” Noctis says. “That’s exactly my point. It doesn’t make any sense. This guy’s an idiot. Hang on, let me find this really stupid comment.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he starts reading something out. From what he can make out, it’s something that a person has written on the internet. It’s difficult to follow, and not just because his head hurts: the language is opaque and poorly structured, and the arguments are illogical in the extreme.

“I mean, seriously,” Noctis says when he’s finished reading it out. “Like that makes any sense.”

“No, it doesn’t make sense,” he says. He’s glad Noctis also thinks it doesn’t make sense.

“Right!” Noctis says. “OK, so here’s what PrettyPrincess_xxx said in response–”

Noctis reads the next person’s opinion out to him. And the next. None of them are very clear, and he doesn’t understand the purpose of the argument. He’s not entirely sure why Noctis is reading them out, either. He feels a little better about his uncertainty when Ignis comes to give him some pills and he hears Cor whisper to him.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Cor whispers.

“Probably better that way, Marshal,” Ignis whispers back.

It’s good, to know he’s not the only one who doesn’t understand. But even though he doesn’t understand, there’s something – pleasant about listening to Noctis talk to him. Sometimes he makes a response, and Noctis almost always enthusiastically agrees with him. Often, he doesn’t respond at all, but Noctis doesn’t seem to mind. He just reads to him, snippets of information, opinions, ideas. At some point, he starts composing opinions of his own to put on the internet, all of which Ignis forbids him from uploading. Once, he stops and touches his arm.

“Hey,” he says, “we’re going to have to seriously level up by the time the episode comes out. We’ve got a lot of game-hours to put in. You know, when your eyes are better.”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks about it while Noctis talks. Noctis wants to play the game with him, for many hours. And Noctis is reading to him. Talking to him, even though he isn’t really talking back. Even though he’s not really sure what Noctis is talking about. He likes to listen to Noctis talk. Even though it’s dark, he can feel Cor’s hand and hear Noctis’ voice. Even though it’s dark, it’s not so bad.

Noctis talks. He listens.

Chapter 26

Notes:

Ooooooh, more fanart, my friends! The ever-delightful Paigeyleighwolf has once again drawn something lovely for this story, which you can find here. Please, go and be adoring! It's Cor carrying semi-conscious Prompto and looking pissed as all hell, and ooh, it gets me right in the protectiveness kink :D Thank you so much to the talented artist, and please go and show them some love!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Later – he’s not sure how much later, since it’s hard to tell time in the dark – the one with the white coat comes to Ignis’ apartment. It’s a surprise – he’s only ever seen her in her lab – but she seems to know everyone there, and she comes to sit near him. She carries out some tests and asks him some questions. Then Noctis asks her a question.

“He’s going to be fine, though, right?” Noctis says. “I mean – there’s no serious damage?”

“To be perfectly honest, Your Highness, I think Prompto is better equipped to answer that question than I am,” the one with the white coat says. There’s a pause, then she says, “Prompto, have you ever had cause to – shut down systems due to damage before?”

“Yes,” he says. Last time he had to shut down his vision was much worse than this time. Last time he was alone in the dark.

“And did shutting them down help the damage to heal? Or was there something else required?” the one with the white coat asks.

He considers. “There was – medication,” he says. He remembers the feel of his hand, stiff with bandages and a rubber tube.

“What kind of medication?” the one with the white coat asks. Somewhere in the room, there’s a faint scratching sound, like someone writing.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“All right,” the one with the white coat says. “But you healed?”

“Yes,” he says. “My systems are designed to heal if damaged.”

Cor squeezes his hand. “Everyone’s systems are designed to do that, kid.”

“Oh,” he says. He feels stupid. He didn’t know humans were designed at all.

“How do you feel now?” the one with the white coat asks.

“Fine,” he says. The couch is soft, and Cor and Noctis and Ignis are all close by.

“Are you in any pain?” the one with the white coat asks.

He thinks about this. “Yes,” he says. He feels Cor’s fingers twitch around his hand, and Cor starts to say something, and then abruptly stops.

“Can you tell me where it hurts?” the one with the white coat asks.

“My head,” he says. “And my neck.”

More scratching. He realises there are two sets of scratching sounds: one very nearby and one further away, near the part of the room that functions as a kitchen.

“Do you feel tired or muddled?” the one with the white coat asks.

“Yes,” he says. Cor’s fingers twitch again.

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” the one with the white coat asks.

He hesitates. He remembers the explanation of hungry from Royal Lucian Dictionary, but he doesn’t think he can be hungry. He can’t even quite imagine what hungry might be like. But he didn’t look up thirsty, even though he knows Cor used the word before.

“Do you need food or water?” says Ignis then. His voice is further away, near where the second set of scratching sounds originates.

Oh. Thirsty is about needing water. He swallows.

“Yes,” he says, and then, to clarify, “water – it’s not necessary, I–” He feels suddenly confused, unsure of whether he’s permitted to ask for water or not. The problem is solved, though, when moments later someone holds a cup to his lips.

“You’re supposed to tell me when you’re thirsty, remember?” Cor says. Someone lifts up his head and helps him to drink. “And while we’re at it, tell me if you’re in pain, too.”

He drinks. His throat feels better. When there’s no more water, he’s laid down again on the couch. It feels strange, to be treated like this, as though he’s incapable of performing tasks by himself.

“Here,” the one with the white coat says. Something rattles. “Give him these when he’s in pain. Let him sleep. I’ll come back in the morning.”

He’s lifted up again, and someone puts two pills in his hand. He’s grateful they weren’t put straight into his mouth, though he’s not quite sure why it should matter one way or the other. Then there’s more water. It tastes good. He’s laid down again.

“You heard what the Doc said,” Cor says. Someone brushes their hand along his forehead, moving his hair around. “Get some sleep.”

He closes his eyes. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep, when he’s slept so much already. But he falls asleep almost immediately.

~

When he wakes up, Cor and Ignis are talking. They’re in the part of the room that functions as a kitchen, and they’re talking very quietly, but he sharpens his hearing until he can hear what they’re saying.

“We can move to a guest apartment,” Cor’s saying.

“Oh, no, that’s unnecessary,” Ignis says. “He can certainly stay here as long as he needs to. And besides, with his loss of vision and general emotional vulnerability, surely it would be better for him to be somewhere familiar.”

Cor sighs. “You’re a good man, Ignis,” he says.

He thinks about what Cor and Ignis are saying. They’re talking about him staying here, with Ignis. Not going back to Cor’s apartment. He likes it here, but–

A thought strikes him, and he sits up with a gasp, then gasps again as his head starts to spin. He grasps for the back of the couch, and a moment later there’s a hand on his arm and another on his back, steadying him.

“Hey,” Cor says, close to his ear. He sounds strained. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“The plants,” he says. He knows he shouldn’t be making so much trouble, but– “I have to water the plants.”

There’s a brief pause. “The plants will be OK without you for one night, kid,” Cor says. He still sounds strained, but in a different way now.

He swallows. “I have to check them,” he says. He feels confused. He wishes he could see. He doesn’t know who’s in the room. Is Noctis still here?

“They’ll be fine–” Cor starts, but then another hand is laid on his shoulder.

“I can water your plants for you,” says Ignis. The hand squeezes his shoulder. “Someone will need to go and fetch some things for both of you, after all, and I’m sure you’d rather Cor stayed here.”

He swallows. “Thank you,” he says. His throat hurts, and his head is still spinning.

“You’re very welcome,” Ignis says. Then there’s the sound of something rustling. “Now, I will need some instructions.”

He waits for Cor to give instructions. But Cor doesn’t give any.

“Prompto?” Ignis says. “I need instructions.”

He turns towards the sound of Ignis’ voice. He doesn’t understand. But he can’t see Ignis, so turning in his direction doesn’t help.

“Instructions?” he asks. He’s a level two. Level two MTs don’t give instructions. They follow instructions.

“Yes,” Ignis says. “Which plants to water, how much water to give them, and so on.”

There’s a pause. He feels frightened, but he doesn’t understand why.

“Can’t – Cor give you instructions?” he asks. His voice sounds very quiet.

Cor snorts. “Kid, if I give him instructions, those plants will be dead by morning.”

The plants will be dead. The panic that’s still thrumming quietly in his stomach starts to rise again.

“You’re the only one who knows what to do about the plants,” Ignis says. “They don’t have to be complicated instructions, Prompto, but I do need something.”

He swallows. You’re the only one who knows. “Oh,” he says. “Yes.” It doesn’t feel right. But he’s the only one who knows.

“The cactus doesn’t need any water,” he says. He hears the scratching sound of writing again. “The red plant needs some. Half a cupful. There’s – a cup by the bed.” He thinks about the other plant, tries to remember when he last gave it water. It doesn’t need water as often as the red plant. “The plant with yellow parts – if – if I was there I would check the material in the vessel. If it was dry, I would give it water. A whole cupful.”

“Yellow parts?” Ignis asks.

“Flowers,” says Cor. “It’s got yellow flowers.”

Flowers, he thinks. That’s what the yellow parts are called. He feels a little sick. But he didn’t tell Ignis to do anything. He didn’t give any orders. He just described what the plants need. So maybe it’s not so bad.

He feels sick.

“OK,” Cor says. “You all right, now? Need some water?”

“Yes,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

“Well, I’ll be back soon,” Ignis says. There’s rustling and thumping, and Cor gives him water, and then he lies down and stares at the darkness.

You’re the only one who knows, Ignis said.

But he feels like he doesn’t know anything.

~

After that, it’s very quiet. Cor doesn’t say anything, but he’s nearby. He thinks at first that Cor’s the only person in the room, but then he hears someone turning a page in the part of the room that functions as a kitchen. He’s not sure who it is until the person stands up with a grunt and walks across the room. Then he realises it’s the one with the images. It feels better, to know who it is. To know that it’s someone he already knows.

He closes his eyes, but he doesn’t fall back to sleep. He wonders whether it’s daytime or night-time. He wonders how long it’s been since he was sent to the engineers. He wonders if he’ll be sent there again.

The door opens and closes.

“Hey, Iggy,” says the one with the images.

“Good evening,” Ignis says. So it’s evening. The same day? He thinks it must be the same day. “Is Prompto asleep?”

He opens his eyes.

“No,” says Cor. There’s a hand on his shoulder. Then it’s gone.

“I brought some things for both of you,” Ignis says. “A change of clothes, pyjamas, et cetera.” He pauses. “I only found one toothbrush...?”

“That’s mine,” Cor says.

“And what about Prompto’s toothbrush?” Ignis asks.

There’s a pause.

“Shit,” says Cor.

Ignis lets out a sharp breath. Somehow, the breath sounds angry. “I see,” he says. “And how long has he been with you now?”

“Yeah, I–” Cor says. “Look, he didn’t – when he first arrived he didn’t ask me, and – he just never asked me, so I didn’t think of it, all right?”

“Perfectly understandable,” Ignis says. “After all, Prompto is very good at coming forward and asking for what he needs, so I can see how it would have slipped your mind.” He makes that angry sigh again. “Prompto,” he says.

He sits up. Too fast, and he has to hold onto the couch again.

“Yes?” he says. He doesn’t want Ignis to be angry with him.

Ignis sighs again, but now he doesn’t sound angry any more.

“I’m going to buy you a toothbrush,” he says, “since some people apparently aren’t capable of doing so. Do you prefer soft, medium or hard?”

He blinks. He understands all the words individually, but he doesn’t understand the meaning. “A – brush?” he says.

“A toothbrush,” Cor says.

There’s a pause.

“Have you ever brushed your teeth before?” Ignis asks.

He swallows. He thinks about the brushes he knows about – for scrubbing floors and equipment and boots. He can’t imagine why anyone would want to use one on their teeth. The idea makes his mouth hurt.

“No,” he says.

“No food before, right?” the one with the images says.

“Shit,” Cor says, at the same time as Ignis says, “Of course.” There’s another brief pause, and then Ignis speaks again.

“Well,” he says. “In that case, I will buy one of each kind, and you can decide which you like. In the meantime, Marshal Leonis will explain oral hygiene to you. Won’t you, Marshal?”

Cor clears his throat. “Uh, yeah,” he says.

“Good,” says Ignis. Then there’s footsteps, and a door closes, harder than usual.

There’s a silence.

“Someone got told,” says the one with the images.

“If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it,” Cor says.

“Yes, sir,” says the one with the images. He sounds like he’s on the verge of laughing.

Cor sighs heavily. Then he puts his hand on his shoulder again.

“You OK sitting up?” he asks.

He leans back against the couch. His thoughts feel slow and fuzzy. “Yes,” he says.

“OK,” Cor says. “All right. Now listen – I gotta tell you something.”

Cor explains: ingesting sustenance by mouth results in films of material coating the teeth. These films can cause the teeth to become structurally unsound over the long term, and so a brush is used to remove the films. The brush must be used twice a day. This is called oral hygiene.

He tries not to think too hard about it. If all humans perform this operation, then surely it can’t be too painful. But he can’t imagine how it works. He thinks he could brush his front teeth, but he’s not sure he can open his mouth wide enough to fit the brush in and brush his back teeth.

“Any questions?” Cor asks.

He considers.

“Why do humans eat food?” he asks. It seems so inefficient, not to mention apparently it endangers the structural integrity of teeth.

The one with the images laughs quietly.

“Because food is necessary for us to stay alive,” Cor says. “We don’t have ports for sustenance.”

“Plus, it tastes good,” the one with the images says.

He considers. Cor’s argument makes little sense – he feels quite sure humans could be fitted with sustenance ports if required. But the one with the images is correct. Food does taste good. It smells good and it tastes good. Even the peas and ham tasted good, and chewing them wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. But still.

“But if it causes damage to your teeth?” he says.

“That’s why you brush em, kid,” the one with the images says.

“That’s why we have teeth in the first place,” Cor says. “To allow us to eat.”

He blinks. He runs his tongue over his teeth. He’s never really considered teeth before. The function of teeth. They were just always there. But of course, they must have a function. In humans, anyway. Because humans don’t have ports.

But he has teeth even though he has a port.

The door opens and closes.

“Did you explain it to him?” Ignis asks.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Right, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s still trying to think about teeth, but it’s difficult. His thoughts are sluggish. He hears footsteps, then Ignis speaks again, from close by now.

“Hold out your hands,” Ignis says.

He holds out his hands. Somebody puts something into them. He grasps it and feels around the contours. It’s long and smooth, plastic, most likely. At one end, there’s a set of close-spaced hairs.

“Try that,” Ignis says.

He doesn’t understand. He tries, but his thoughts are still clouded, and he can’t quite put the clues together. He sits with the object in his hands, trying to think what it is that Ignis wants him to do. But he can’t understand.

“Here,” Cor says then. He takes the object out of his hands. Then he takes one of his hands and folds it around the plastic end of the object. He takes hold of his wrist and lifts it.

“Open your mouth,” he says.

He opens his mouth. Cor guids his hand, and a moment later, he feels the bristles of the object touch his teeth. Gently, Cor moves his hand back and forth. The bristles move along his teeth. Brushing his teeth.

Brushing his teeth. Toothbrush.

“Oh,” he says, without meaning to. The movement of his mouth causes the toothbrush to brush his lips momentarily. It tingles, but it doesn’t hurt. It’s not like he imagined – the bristles are much softer than the brushes he’s used before, and the brush as a whole is very small and mounted on the long plastic handle. He experiments and finds he can easily reach the back of his mouth, though there’s a difficult moment where he reaches too far and almost gags. But it – it makes sense. He doesn’t know why he didn’t realise it as soon as Ignis gave him the object. The toothbrush. And it isn’t bad. He brushes all his teeth with instructions from Cor, and spits into a cup that Ignis gives him, and afterwards his teeth really do feel different. Smoother and cleaner. It’s good. And it didn’t hurt at all. So maybe it is worth eating food, after all.

“We’ll try you with toothpaste tomorrow,” Cor says. “Right now you look like you’re going to pass out. Get some rest.”

He lies back down and runs his tongue over his teeth. He wonders what the film of material was made of. The idea that some sort of – food residue has been on his teeth for so long makes him feel somewhat nauseated. But his teeth are clean now. It feels – strangely pleasant. He runs his tongue over them again. He thinks about food. He thinks about teeth.

He falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, he’s somewhere else. He’s still lying down on something soft, but it’s not the couch any more. The softness under him is wider, smoother. It’s a bed of some kind. Wider than the bed he sleeps in at Cor’s apartment. He lies still, wondering where he is. Wondering who else might be there with him. And he hears voices.

He sharpens his hearing. It’s Cor and Ignis. They’re on the other side of a wall, talking quietly. There are clinking sounds, and running water. He listens carefully.

“–really ought to get some sleep as well,” Ignis says.

“Believe me, if I thought I’d do anything other than stare at the ceiling and replay today, I would,” Cor says. More running water. “Doesn’t mean you have to stay up, though.”

“I’m not feeling very tired,” Ignis says.

Cor grunts. “You should try switching to decaff,” he says.

Ignis makes a strange sort of startled noise, quickly stifled. Then there’s silence for a moment.

“Well, since we’re both awake, I wonder if we shouldn’t have some kind of – strategy meeting?” Ignis says.

“Strategy?” Cor says. “Strategy for what?”

“For Prompto,” Ignis says.

A pause. “OK,” Cor says. “I’m listening.”

Ignis says. “Marshal,” he says, “when I went to your apartment – I certainly didn’t intend to pry, but – if I hadn't been there before, I would hardly have known which room was yours and which was Prompto’s.”

“What’s your point?” Cor asks.

“That – he doesn’t have anything of his own,” Ignis says. “No clothes, no pictures on the wall – only the plants. I’m aware he’s not permitted some items, but – don’t you think he might feel more at home if he was able to make it – more his home?”

“He didn’t bring anything with him,” Cor says. “And he hasn’t asked for anything.”

Ignis coughs quietly.

“OK, that was a stupid thing to say,” Cor says. “But, look – he seems OK, right? It’s not like he’s going around naked, he’s got my clothes to wear. What else does he need?”

“Books,” Ignis says. “Pictures on the wall. Clothes he’s chosen himself. More plants, perhaps. I’m sure Noctis would have some ideas.”

“There’s a picture on his wall,” Cor says.

“Yes, I saw it,” Ignis says. “Did he choose it?”

There’s a pause. Cor coughs.

“It, uh, came with the apartment,” he says.

Another silence.

“Look, I–” Cor says. Then he stops talking. “I don’t know how to do this,” he mutters.

“I’m sure it’s very difficult,” Ignis says. “But if you meant what you said to Clarus, then–”

“Excuse me?” Cor says. “What I said to Clarus when?”

A brief pause. “Ah,” Ignis says. “I’m afraid to say that your phone conversation with Clarus was not quite as – private as you hoped. One phrase in particular was clearly audible to the rest of us. About – how you feel about Prompto.”

Silence.

“Ignis–” Cor says. There’s the sound of a cup or a bowl being put down on a surface. A sigh. “I was pretty riled up when I said that.”

“That was quite evident, I assure you,” Ignis says. A pause. “So you didn’t mean what you said?”

“No, that’s not–,” Cor says. Another sigh, this one almost angry. “Fuck. I don’t even know what it means to mean what I said.”

It’s quiet for a long moment. “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through,” Ignis says, “but I would have thought the most important thing that it means is a commitment. Quite possibly a lifelong commitment.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

“Well, I suppose you need some time to consider–” Ignis starts, but Cor interrupts him.

“No,” he says. “I don’t need time. Fuck – I don’t know what it means, Ignis. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I don’t need any more time to consider it. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but – I don’t think I can do anything else.”

Silence.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Cor says.

“I was just thinking that you underestimate yourself, Marshal,” Ignis says. It sounds like he’s smiling.

“What, you forgot the toothbrush thing already?” Cor asks.

“Certainly not,” Ignis says. “Nonetheless.”

There’s a longer silence. There are sounds again – running water, clinking, something boiling. He starts to feel heavy and warm, and his thoughts drift. You’re the only one who knows, Ignis says, but he can’t tell if it’s inside his head or outside. But as he drifts away, he hears Cor speak again.

“OK,” Cor says. “Strategy meeting.”

~

The next time he wakes up, there are more noises. Everything is less quiet. He hears the one with the images speaking in the other room, and Noctis. So it must be day time.

He tries restarting his vision, but that leads to an immediate painful buzzing in the back of his skull, so he shuts it down again. He feels his way around the edges of the bed and manages to stand. But from there, it’s difficult. He has no sense of how large the room is, whether there might be any other furniture, the location of the door. He stands up and takes a step forward, arms outstretched in front of him, one low and sweeping, one high. He repeats the operation three times, and then he finds a wall. He feels along the edge of it and makes his way in the direction of the voices. He takes one step at a time. At one point, he scrapes his calf painfully on the sharp corner of – something. He avoids this object with some difficulty, and continues until he reaches a corner. Moments after turning this corner, he finds the edge of a door.

He takes a breath in relief, and slides his hands across the surface of the door until he finds the handle. The door opens inwards, and he steps back and opens it, then steps through and walks straight into something firm and unyielding. It takes his breath away – the surprised, more than the impact – and he takes a step back, panic rising in his stomach. Then someone takes hold of his shoulders. The grip is firm and warm.

“Kid?” Cor says. “You OK? Can you see?”

He swallows the panic down. Cor. It’s Cor. Everything’s all right.

“No,” he says.

“Shit,” Cor says. Then there’s an arm around his shoulders. “You should have called me. Don’t just – walk around in the dark, you could get hurt.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. Cor is guiding him forwards, and he goes where he’s led. When Cor puts his hands on his shoulders, he sits down. The chair he sits in is upright, and when he reaches out, there’s a table in front of him.

“Hey, Prompto,” Noctis says. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says. Noctis is sitting to his right. Probably also at the table.

“Morning, kid,” the one with the images says.

“Good morning, Prompto,” Ignis says. “I hope you slept well.”

He thinks about sleeping. He slept for a long time. Now it’s the next day – he thinks. And in what he thinks was the night, he heard Cor and Ignis talking. About clothes, and pictures, and strategy. About him. He wishes he could remember everything they said. He thinks it was important, but he needs to think about it so he can understand what it all meant.

Someone puts something down in front of him.

“Breakfast,” Cor says.

He reaches out. It’s a cup. He’s grateful – he doesn’t think he could manage a spoon without his vision. He picks it up and drinks. It’s soup. No solid particles. He’s grateful for that, too, even though the peas and ham tasted good.

“Now,” Ignis says, “there’s something we need to discuss.”

Noctis groans. “This better not be about that meeting tomorrow,” he says. “I told you I was going to do the reading, didn’t I?”

“It’s not about you at all,” Ignis says. “Although I certainly do remember you telling me that and I expect to see you doing so before the end of today. But this is about – our guest.”

“What guest?” Noctis asks.

Cor clears his throat.

“Who, P–?” Noctis says, and suddenly cuts off. “Ow, what was that for?”

“Our guest,” Ignis says, “needs a name. He’s been far too long without one.”

“Uh, what?” Noctis says. “He already has a name.”

The one with the images snorts. “That’s not a name,” he says. “You can’t call someone after a sports drink.”

Please,” Ignis says. He sounds anything but pleading. Noctis and the one with the images stop talking. “Cor, if you would.”

“Kid, have you thought any more about what you want to be called?” Cor asks. “You still have that list?”

He puts his hand in his pocket – the other one from where he keeps his important instructions from Cor. The list is there, but it feels battered in his fingers. He hopes Cor isn’t angry. He smoothes it on the table and holds it out.

“You’re the one who should look at it,” Cor says. “It has to be your choice.”

Ignis coughs.

“Uh–” Cor says. Then he takes the list from him.

“Here, let me look at that,” the one with the images says. There’s a brief pause, then he laughs. “Gregory? Is that even a name?”

“Perhaps we should have had this meeting with just the three of us,” Ignis says.

Cor sighs. “Kid,” he says, “do you remember seeing anything on the list you liked?”

He thinks. But he never really looked at the list much. He looked at the instructions from Cor much more. And – he doesn’t really understand.

“Why is it necessary?” he asks.

“For you to choose?” Cor says. “Or for you to have a name?”

“Either,” he says, even though it was really the second one he was thinking about.

“Because you’re a person, and all people have names,” Cor says.

He hesitates. He doesn’t think he’s a person, but Cor does. So he should have a name, because that’s what Cor wants. But if Cor wants him to have a name, then why doesn’t Cor give him a name?

“It’s part of you,” Ignis says then. “Your identity. Your name should feel – right. Like it belongs to you. When someone calls it, you should think yes, that’s me. A person’s name is an integral part of them. That’s why it’s so important that you should have one.”

He puts down his cup. He wonders if anyone’s looking at him. He feels as though there are hundreds of people looking at him, but maybe nobody is. There are lots of other things to look at, after all.

Yes, that’s me.

Names are important. How can he choose something important? Cor should choose.

He’s not a person.

Names are important.

He closes his eyes.

“Hey, Prompto, it’s OK,” says Noctis.

He opens his eyes and turns his face in the direction of Noctis.

Noctis,” Ignis hisses.

“Oh, uh – sorry,” Noctis mumbles.

But – did he feel it? Yes, that’s me. Is that what he felt?

He thinks maybe it is.

“Maybe this is the wrong time,” Cor says. “After yesterday – too soon, maybe.”

“Can I – choose anything?” he asks. “Or – only from the list?”

There’s a brief pause.

“Sure, kid,” Cor says. “You can choose anything. As long as it’s something that feels right to you.”

He hesitates. “Can I choose Prompto?” he asks.

“If that’s what you want,” Cor says.

He thinks about it, the word, in his mind. Noctis was the one who gave it to him. He thinks about the red drink, the word on the bottle, PROMPTO! But now when he thinks of the word, he doesn’t think of the drink bottle any more. He thinks that someone must want his attention.

“Yes,” he says.

Yessssss,” says Noctis. “In your face, Gladiolus.”

“Noct, please,” Ignis says.

He turns towards the direction of Cor’s voice. He waits. He waits for Cor.

And then he feels a warm hand on his shoulder.

“Prompto it is,” Cor says.

Notes:

Also, Irrelevantmundane inspired the whole toothbrush thing by asking if Prompto ever brushed his teeth. Thanks for the inspiration! And now we know he didn't, much to Ignis' despair ;)

Chapter 27

Notes:

So much fanart! An abundance of riches! ♥♥♥

Bubblline drew this gorgeous picture of Prompto and his plants. He looks so happy! Argh, my baby loves his plants! ♥

Furunui drew these adorable doodles of Our Kid, all of which make me go "eeeee", but I particularly love the one where Prompto is very solemnly pondering his cactus and what it might be thinking :D :D :D

Also by Furunui, Noct and Prompto's selfie! Noct looks very handsome. Prompto looks a little bit worried. I love it!

Zombie-lili made this very stylish portrait of Prompto looking like he really needs a hug (spoiler: he always looks that way :D)

And last but certainly not least, Sunquail made a hesitant-looking Prompto who is a monster cutie and also very definitely needs a hug. Any volunteers?

I'm delighted that so many people have been interested in making art for this fic, and I love seeing all the different styles! Thank you so much to the artists -- please give them some love. And, uh, if anyone wanted to draw Prompto actually getting a hug from Cor, I definitely would not object :D

On with the story!

Chapter Text

It’s a strange, quiet sort of day. The one with the white coat comes and examines him. She says she’s pleased with his progress, and tells him that tomorrow she wants him to try restarting his vision. And after that – nothing happens. He doesn’t go anywhere. He just stays in Ignis’ apartment. He eats lots of soup and sleeps, and sometimes Noctis or Ignis or Cor talk to him or to each other, but mostly he just listens to music. The one with the images offers to read to him from his book, but Ignis says he can’t. So it’s just quiet. It’s quiet and dark, but Cor stays there all day. Noctis and the one with the images leave with Ignis while he’s sleeping, but later on they come back. In the afternoon, they play cards, and Noctis whispers the card denominations into his ear. He and Noctis win five games, until the one with the images declares he doesn’t want to play any more.

In the evening, Cor leads him to the place where he’s supposed to sleep. He brushes his teeth. This time he uses a sort of gel that Cor calls toothpaste. It tastes fresh and sharp, and it makes his mouth taste clean and cold. Afterwards, he changes into his sleeping clothes. A door closes and he’s on his own. He lies on the soft, wide bed and stares into the darkness and thinks that it was a good day. He feels – quiet, like nothing hurts and he doesn’t want anything and it was good to spend the day at Ignis’ apartment. Outside, it’s raining, and he wonders what it looks like. What the room looks like. He knows there must be a window, because he can hear the sound of the rain against the glass. He thinks it must be beautiful. It sounds beautiful, hissing and rushing, like the river Cor took him to see, but much quieter. There’s so much water everywhere in the world.

It was a good day.

~

When he wakes up, the bed isn’t soft any more, and the room is full of a dim purple light.

It takes him a moment to remember where he is. And then he realises that he’s not there any more. He went to sleep on a soft bed, and now he’s on a hard surface. And when he went to sleep, his vision was shut down, but now it’s functioning.

He sits up. Everything’s strange and blurred. He still hears the sound of the rain. And – his hair’s wet. And his shoulders, and the top part of his chest.

Why is his hair wet?

His heart’s beating fast. The place he’s in is dark and blurry and unfamiliar. He realises, suddenly, what’s happening: he’s hallucinating. Dreaming. It’s normal. That’s what Cor said. He has it written down. It’s normal to dream. And dreaming is hallucinating when you’re asleep. He’s asleep now. So it makes sense.

He looks around himself. It’s strange, to feel awake but to know that you’re asleep. He’s sitting on the floor. The room is dark. There’s a wide open window, and rain falling outside, hissing against the glass. Some of the rain is coming into the room. He walks over to the window. The carpet beside it is wet. Like his hair.

He looks at the rest of the room. There’s a large, shadowy shape to his right. A blur of dim light in front of him. He closes his eyes and opens them, trying to focus and brighten his vision. But it doesn’t work.

When he dreamed before, Cor came to get him. He doesn’t want the same thing to happen this time. But he doesn’t know how to get out of the dream. He wills himself to wake up. But nothing happens. He doesn’t know how to get out of the dream. Maybe he has to wait for Cor to come and send him back to the facility.

Even though he knows it’s not real, his stomach twists with dread. No. He doesn’t want to go back there. Not even in a hallucination. So – he has to find some other way to get out of the dream.

He takes a deep breath and walks towards the blur of light. He walks slowly and carefully, hands stretched out in case there are obstacles hidden in the shadows. It’s not very different from walking without his vision. But he reaches the blur of light without colliding with anything. He reaches out to touch it. He finds a flat, smooth surface. When he runs his hands across it, he realises it’s a door. He finds the handle and turns it.

On the other side is Ignis’ room. The light is dim and everything’s blurry, but it’s enough to recognise: the couches, at right angles to each other. The kitchen part of the room. It’s familiar, where the room he was in was strange and shadowy. He feels relieved, even though last time he dreamed he was in Cor’s apartment at first, and that was familiar too. He walks into the room and goes towards the couch. And–

Someone’s lying on the couch.

He steps back, his heart feeling like it’s rising into his throat. But whoever is on the couch darts out a hand and grabs his wrist.

“Wha–?” the person on the couch says, sitting up. It’s Cor.

It’s Cor.

He swallows, feeling light-headed with relief. Cor sits up. He can’t make out his features. But he knows his voice. Cor doesn’t let go of his wrist.

“Kid?” he says, then, “Prompto? What time is it?”

He tries to speak, but his throat is too dry. He doesn’t know what time it is. Is he dreaming? It feels real. But it felt real last time, too.

Cor groans. He drags his free hand across his face. “Something happen?” he says. “You all right?”

“No,” he says. Then he realises there were two questions. His head feels muddled. “Am I awake?”

“Uh–” Cor says. He turns to face him, still holding his wrist. “What? You OK?” He stands up, putting his free hand on his shoulder. “Shit, kid, you’re soaked. What’s going on?”

He looks up at Cor. His face is a blurry blob, a little lighter that the surroundings. “Am I dreaming?” he asks.

Cor’s hand tightens on his shoulder. “No,” he says. “You’re awake. Here, sit down.”

Cor guides him to a chair and pushes gently on his shoulders. He sits down. Cor sits down opposite him. He keeps hold of his wrist.

“Tell me what’s happened,” he says.

But nothing’s happened.

“I don’t know,” he says, and then, “nothing’s happened.” He feels much more like he’s asleep now than he did before. Everything seems unreal.

“How’d you get so wet?” Cor asks.

He thinks about it. He woke up. It was raining. The window was open.

“The window was open,” he says. Is he awake or asleep?

Cor doesn’t say anything for a second or two. Then he reaches out and touches his forehead.

“You’re freezing,” he says. “I’ll get you a towel.”

He stands up, pushing his chair back. At that moment, a door opens.

“Everything OK in here?” says a voice. It’s the night-time silent one. He feels strange, disoriented. He woke up in a room he didn’t recognise. Now he’s in Ignis’ apartment, but it’s dark and blurry and Ignis isn’t here. And the night-time silent one is here. He should be in Cor’s apartment. But he’s here instead. Nothing feels quite right.

“I think – maybe he had another nightmare,” Cor says. “Arcis, can you find me a towel?”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. He comes into the room and closes the door. He moves like a shadow. Cor goes to the counter and performs some operations. A light comes on – not the bright overhead light, but a dimmer one that just lights up the counter. He looks at Cor, at what Cor’s doing. Now that the light’s on, he should be able to see what Cor’s doing. But he can’t. Everything’s still blurry.

Cor comes back and sits down next to him. His face looks like a pale blob with two slightly darker blobs for eyes.

“I’m making you some hot milk,” he says.

He swallows. “Thank you,” he says. He’s still not sure if he’s dreaming. Nobody’s sent him back to the facility yet. But maybe that will come later.

The silent one reappears, carrying something pale. He hands it to Cor, and Cor stands up again.

“Take your t-shirt off,” he says.

He does. Cor drapes the pale thing over him. It’s a towel. Cor dries his hair and shoulders vigorously.

The silent one’s standing nearby. “How’d he get so wet?” he asks.

Cor grunts. “Dunno,” he says. “I think he stuck his head out of the window.” He stops drying him and sits down. “Is that what happened, kid?”

He doesn’t know what happened. He went to sleep in a bed and he woke up on the floor. The window was closed and then it was open. He was dry and then he was wet. “Yes,” he says.

The silent one stares down at him. “You like the rain, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He does like the rain. It completes the cycle of water rising and falling. And it looks beautiful.

“Can you get him another shirt?” Cor asks.

The silent one goes away. Cor sighs. He gets up and does something at the stove. Then he comes and sits back down.

“Did you have a nightmare?” he asks.

A nightmare is a bad dream. “No,” he says. He doesn’t think he had any dreams. Unless this is a dream. It would make more sense if this is a dream. If it isn’t, why did he wake up in a different place from where he went to bed?

Cor reaches out and touches his forehead again. He puts the palm of his hand on it. It feels solid and warm.

The silent one comes back. He gives him a dry shirt. He puts it on. Then Cor gets up and pours something into a cup. He gives it to him. It’s hot milk, like before.

Is he dreaming?

He drinks the hot milk. Then Cor takes him back to bed. He holds onto him the whole time, leading him by the arm with one hand on his back. When they go into the room, Cor closes the window.

“Good night, kid,” he says.

He lies in the bed and stares at the ceiling. He’s not sure what will happen if he goes to sleep when he’s dreaming. He’s not sure if he’s dreaming. He hopes he is.

He doesn’t go to sleep.

~

After a while, the sun gets turned on. It takes a while to get warmed up, and so the light grows slowly. He lies on his back, looking up at the ceiling. It’s blurry. Everything’s blurry.

He gets up and goes to the window. The carpet under it is still damp. So if he was dreaming, he’s still dreaming. But he feels awake. And nothing’s happened. He’s been lying doing nothing for hours. No-one’s come to send him back to the facility.

But if he isn’t dreaming, then why did he wake up on the floor?

He looks out of the window. Everything nearby is a blur. But when he looks further away, he can see things more clearly. The buildings. Clouds in the sky. The green smudge far away.

He goes back and lies down on the bed. He waits until he hears people moving and talking in the next room. Then he gets up and goes to the door.

There are two people in the room: Cor and Ignis. When he opens the door, they look up. They’re blurry, but he can tell who they are anyway. Cor comes towards him. He takes his arm and leads him to the table.

“Good morning,” Ignis says.

And the day starts.

And it’s not a dream.

~

After breakfast, Noctis arrives with the one with the white coat and the one with the images. The one with the white coat comes to sit with him. She asks him some questions and carries out some tests. Then she sits back.

“Well,” she says, “I think we’re ready for your to try restarting your vision.”

Oh. “It’s already started,” he says. He didn’t start it on purpose. Or maybe he did. He can’t remember.

“What?” Cor says.

He looks around and sees that everyone’s looking at him. He didn’t realise they didn’t know it was restarted. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to restart it yet.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“What are you sorry about?” the Cor asks.

He looks at Cor. He doesn’t know whether Cor wants him to be sorry or not. Then the one with the white coat waves at him and he looks at her, instead.

“How long has it been restarted?” she asks.

He doesn’t know. “Since – the night,” he says. He knows it was still shut down when he went to bed.

“And does it hurt?” she asks.

“No,” he says.

“That’s good to hear,” she says. “Now. Can you follow my finger?”

He does as she asks. She shines her bright light in his eyes. Then she picks up something that’s lying on the table and starts to hold it out.

“Could you read the first sentence from–” she starts, and then suddenly Ignis jumps forward and snatches the object from her.

“Not that one, if you’ll excuse me,” he says. He steps back and holds out the object to the one with the images. “Gladio, please don’t leave your reading material lying around where anyone could find it.”

The one with images laughs quietly. The one with the white coat sighs and finds another object. She holds it out. He thinks it’s probably a book, but it’s hard to tell.

“Can you read this for me?” she asks.

He looks. He doesn’t see any writing. Just a square-ish, pale blur.

“No,” he says.

“What?” Cor says. He puts his hand on his shoulder.

“Marshal, please,” the one with the white coat says. She turns back to him. “Can you tell me why you can’t read it?”

He takes a deep breath. His vision is malfunctioning. But everything was malfunctioning two days ago, and no-one was angry. So maybe they won’t be angry about this, either.

“My vision is malfunctioning,” he says. “Everything’s blurry.”

“I see,” says the one with the white coat, at the same time as Cor says, “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Marshal,” Ignis says, very quietly.

Cor squeezes his shoulder. “Shit,” he mutters, then, “can you do anything to help him?”

“Possibly,” the one with the white coat says. “He’ll need to come with me, though.”

He looks up at Cor. Cor nods.

“I’ll come with you,” he says.

“Me too,” says Noctis.

So in the end, they all go.

~

They go to the elevator and then down. The elevator is crowded: there’s him and Cor and Ignis, Noctis and the one with the images, the one with the white coat and the night-time silent one, who hasn’t been replaced with the daytime silent one yet. No-one says anything. He listens to the music that plays in the elevator. It’s pleasant, but not as interesting as the music Ignis plays. Then the doors open and they all get off.

The one with the white coat takes them to a room he hasn’t seen before. There’s a person there. The person is also wearing a white coat.

“I’ve got a referral for you,” the one with the white coat says.

The new person stands up and faces them. “Your Highness,” he says. He sounds worried.

“Not me,” Noctis says. “My friend.”

Noctis pushes him slightly, and he steps forward. He doesn’t know what friend means.

The new person turns towards him then stops. He can’t see what the expression is on his face, but he doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Then he coughs.

“Ah,” he says, sounding even more worried. “The – MT?”

The one with the images coughs. Somehow, it sounds threatening.

“My friend,” says Noctis again.

“Oh – oh, of course,” says the new person. “Well – come right this way.”

~

The new person carries out more tests on him. Most of them are similar to the ones the one with the white coat has carried out before, but a few are different. He shines lights in his eyes, asks him to follow moving dots of light, has him read charts with letters on them. And at last, he opens a drawer and rummages in it for a few seconds before turning around with an object in his hand.

“Try these on,” he says.

He takes the object. It’s a pair of glasses. Not sunglasses, but clear ones, like Ignis wears. He unfolds them and puts them on.

Suddenly, the blurriness disappears.

He looks around himself in wonder. He sees that the new person is wearing glasses as well. He has dark hair, and the top of his head is bald. He sees that Cor is frowning and the one with the images is grinning. He sees. Even though it’s only been a few days since the last time he could see, it feels like he can see for the first time in his life.

“How’s that?” asks the bald one.

He looks back at him. “It’s better,” he says. It’s so much better.

The bald one smiles. “Excellent,” he says. “Well, now, why don’t you just take those with you, and–”

“He’ll need sunglasses, too,” Cor says. “Prescription.”

“Oh, uh–” the bald one says.

“And some cooler frames,” Noctis says. “Those ones make him look like an owl.”

The bald one’s cheeks turn a little red. “Yes, Your Highness, of course,” he says. “I’ll just go and – fetch some.”

The bald one disappears into another room. He turns to look at the others.

“Well, I think they quite suit you,” Ignis says.

“You know what they say, four eyes are better than two,” the one with the images says.

“Yeah,” he says. He agrees that more eyes would be useful, though he’s not sure why it’s relevant.

“Looks like an owl,” Noctis mutters.

He takes the glasses off to look at them. He wants to ascertain what technology enables them to correct the malfunction in his vision. But as soon as he takes them off, he can’t see again. So he puts them back on. But when they’re on, they’re too close to his face to see how they work.

“Here we are, here we are,” says the bald one, coming back in. He has a tray with eight pairs of glasses and sunglasses on it. “Now, Your Highness, which ones would you like?”

“Um, those two,” Noctis says, pointing.

“Noctis, let Prompto choose his own glasses,” Ignis says.

“Oh – yeah,” Noctis says. He turns to look at him. “You need to choose. Which ones do you want?”

He doesn’t know why Ignis and Noctis want him to choose. It makes more sense for them to choose. He doesn’t know what the differences are, except for the shape. But Noctis is looking at him, and he gave him clear instructions, so he turns to the tray and points to the ones that Noctis pointed to.

“Excellent choice,” the bald one says. He takes the glasses off the tray and puts each pair in a protective container. Then he holds them out.

“Switch them out now,” Noctis says.

So he takes one pair from its protective container and exchanges the glasses he’s wearing for the new pair. He turns to look at Noctis, and Noctis grins.

“Better,” he says. “Less owl. Hey, c’mere.”

Noctis grabs his arm and pulls him forward, then puts an arm around him. He pulls out his phone and holds it at arm’s length. “Smile,” he says. So he smiles. Then Noctis shows him the phone. There’s an image on it. It’s him, his face looking strange and different with the glasses. Noctis is in the image, too, and Cor, Ignis, and the one with the images. The silent one is there, too, but he can’t see his face, only the top of his head.

“Nice,” Noctis says.

It is nice. Everyone in the image is smiling – even Cor. It makes him want to look at it more. But Noctis puts his phone away, and so he can’t look at it any more. He wonders if Noctis could put his images in a book, like the ones he’s seen, so that he could look at them sometimes. He’d like to look at them.

“OK, kid,” Cor says. “Let’s get moving.”

So they do.

~

Later, Cor leaves. He talks to Ignis about it for a long time first. They talk quietly, but he can hear them. He doesn’t understand what they’re saying, though. Cor keeps saying I don’t know and Ignis keeps saying I assure you, he’ll be fine without you for a few hours. At last, though, Cor comes to sit on the couch at right angles to him.

“I gotta go and do some work, kid,” he says. “I’m really sorry.”

He doesn’t know why Cor’s sorry. “Oh,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He looks down at his hands. “Ignis is going to look after you, though, OK? And Gladio’s gonna stick around, too.”

He hopes Noctis will stay, too. And he hopes Cor will come back soon.

“OK,” Cor says. He leans forward and holds him briefly. “I’m glad you’re OK,” he says. Then he stands up and leaves.

He sits, looking at where Cor was sitting before. It’s strange. He remembers when he was frightened of Cor. And he remembers when he didn’t even know Cor. And at those times, he didn’t feel anything when Cor wasn’t there. Or sometimes he even felt better when Cor wasn’t there. But now he feels a thin sort of ache in his chest. He wishes Cor hadn’t gone. But he doesn’t know why.

“Soooo,” Noctis says, slumping into the seat next to him, “King’s Knight?”

The thin ache recedes a little. “Yes,” he says.

~

They play for some time. Noctis gets quite agitated, sometimes angry, sometimes happy. He says Yessss whenever they have a success, and Arrgggh whenever they fail. Sometimes he holds his fist up and says fist-bump, and then they do fist-bump. He learns that fist-bump is correlated with more successful gambits. So the next time they score a significant number of points, he tentatively holds his own fist up first.

Noctis beams at him and performs fist-bump. “Now you’re getting it,” he says.

It makes him feel strange and warm.

After a while, they pause the game. Ignis calls to them to come and get some food. So he gets up and walks across the room. He sees that the one with the images is watching him and frowning. He hopes he hasn’t done anything wrong. But the one with the images doesn’t say anything, and Ignis smiles at him, so he thinks he hasn’t.

After lunch, though, the one with the images stands up.

“C’mere, four-eyes,” he says.

It takes him a moment to realise the one with the images is talking to him. When he does, he stands up and goes to where he’s standing in the middle of the room.

The one with the images looks him up and down. He walks around him, looking at him intently. It makes his skin prickle. He holds himself very still.

“Gladio?” Ignis asks.

“Just trying to figure something out,” the one with the images says. He steps back. “Walk over there for me, would you?”

He walks to where the one with the images points. The one with the images gestures for him to come back, so he does. The one with the images watches him carefully, frowning, then shakes his head.

“Yep,” he says. “That is all fucked up.”

“Dude,” says Noctis, “don’t be a dick to Prompto.”

“Slow your roll, Princess,” the one with the images says. “I’m not saying it’s his fault. Just – he keeps walking like that, his back is going to be fucked by the time he’s fifty.”

He looks at the one with the images, then he looks at Ignis.

“What does fucked mean?” he asks.

The one with the images lets out a bark of laughter. Ignis looks suddenly angry.

“Many thanks, Gladio,” he says.

Then the one with the images hits him on the shoulder. “It means bad, kid,” he says. He’s grinning now. “You should use it every time something bad happens.”

Gladiolus,” Ignis says. Meanwhile, Noctis has buried his face in the couch cushions for no apparent reason.

“I’m kidding,” the one with the images says. “Don’t use it. But seriously, kid, I don’t know what all that shit the Niffs put in your body is doing, but you need to learn better posture. Here.”

He puts a hand on the small of his back and the other on his shoulders. Then he manipulates his body until it’s in a slightly different configuration.

“Hold that pose,” he says.

He tries. It isn’t easy. The posture is unfamiliar and it makes his knees ache.

The one with the images steps back, frowning at him. Then he comes forward again and adjusts the position of his knees. Immediately, he feels some of the tension release.

“Imagine there’s an invisible thread connecting the top of your head to the ceiling,” the one with the images says. He touches a spot on the top of his head. He imagines this and the one with the images watches him.

“Better,” he says. “Now walk.”

He walks. The one with the images makes a disapproving noise. He adjusts his posture again.

“Remember the thread,” he says.

So he remembers the thread. He tries again – and again. He doesn’t get it right, but the one with the images never gets angry with him. He frowns and watches and gives instructions and manipulates his posture. But he never raises his voice or holds him too hard. He concentrates hard on walking. But in between, he thinks about what happened with the engineers. It’s blurry in his brain, and he doesn’t remember the details well. But he remembers that the one with the images was there, and fetched Cor, and told the engineers not to hurt him any more. He doesn’t know why the one with the images did that. But he thinks about it, while the one with the images teaches him the correct way to walk.

At last, Ignis steps forward.

“I rather think that’s enough for today,” he says.

The one with the images pauses, then shrugs. “Sure.” He turns to him. “You should come down to the gym with me some time. I’d like to see you run.”

He doesn’t know why the one with the images wants to see him run. But he thinks maybe it would be good. Even though it’s hard to stand and walk the way the one with the images wants him to, and to remember all the time about the invisible thread, it does make him feel – better somehow. Stronger. Maybe even taller. So he thinks maybe it would be good.

The one with the images sits down heavily on the couch, next to Noctis. Noctis is on his phone, playing a phone game. The one with the images peers over his shoulder.

“Shoot the Messenger?” he says.

“Sh, Gladio,” Noctis says. “I’m concentra– Aarrrrgh.”

The one with the images snorts. “Don’t lose on my account,” he says.

“Gah,” Noctis says, throwing the phone onto the couch. “Fine.” A moment later, though, he picks it up again. “Multiplayer?”

Noctis is looking at him, but the one with the images says, “Sure,” and pulls out his phone.

Noctis glances at him, then looks down at his own phone. “Ignis, Prompto needs–” he starts, but before he finishes, Ignis is there, holding out his phone with a sigh. He takes it, and starts up Shoot the Messenger. On the screen, there are three lines of text:

Multiplayer mode: player name: Noctis
Multiplayer mode: player name: Prompto
Multiplayer mode: player name: Gladio

 

Gladio. He knows that’s the name of one with the images. It’s there, under his name. Ignis said it was important to have a name. That having a name is part of being a person. He doesn’t think he’s a person, but there’s the name. Prompto. And under it: Gladio.

Names are important. And the one with the images fetched Cor and stopped the engineers from hurting him. So maybe the one with the images is important, too.

His name is Gladio.

“Prompto?” Gladio says. “You asleep over there?”

He sits up and looks back at his phone. The game has started, and he’s already behind.

“No,” he says, and starts to play.

Chapter 28

Notes:

Hello, my friends! I am here to bring you your regularly scheduled fanart fix :D

Rainbow made this dramatic sketch of Cor trying to wake Prompto up after he shut down too many processes. I love the angle on this and also it makes me weep for poor Cor, which is good because I'm addicted to angst. So much drama!

The lovely Lialox made this beautiful picture of Prompto reading the list that Cor gave to him. Quite aside from Prompo himself (which, awwwww ♥♥), I love the way the background is done on this -- it's so arty! (As you can tell, my ability to describe art-related things is startling ;)

And I was lucky enough to get two responses to my request for Cor hugging Prompto! Which was awesome, except that I'd forgotten that the major hugging moment so far is when Prompto is crying his eyes out after his nightmare and I was not prepared ;____; Ponyfarts made this one and Puffbird made this one, and both of them HURT ME SO MUCH. But damn, those are some good hugs. I would like it to be known forthwith that Cor is a champion hugger. And also that he's so worried about his poor kid. Agh. My heart. ♥♥♥ I love both of these so much.

As always, huge thanks to the artists and please go and give them some love! All the different visualisations of this pile of angst and fluff just makes it so much more angsty and fluffy :D Thank you!

Chapter Text

Later on, Cor comes back. Even though he was already feeling good while he was playing the game with Noctis and Gladio, when Cor comes back he feels better somehow. Or – he feels good in a different way. It’s difficult. He wishes he knew more things about how feelings work. He didn’t have many feelings before, but now it seems like he has a lot and they’re much more varied than he’s used to. He doesn’t know how to interpret them. But Cor comes back and he feels good.

“Hey, kid,” Cor says. He sits on the couch next to him and rubs his head like he’s done a couple of times now. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Great,” Cor says. “You can still see OK?”

“No,” he says.

Cor frowns, and Ignis, sitting across the room, looks up.

“What?” Ignis says. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

He looks at Ignis, then at Cor. Noctis and Gladio are looking at him, too. All of them are frowning. But–

“I thought – you already knew,” he says. “Didn’t – didn’t you know? I can only see when the glasses are plugged in. That’s why – isn’t that why we went to get the glasses?”

Cor’s shoulders slump a little. “Uh, yeah, I guess I didn’t phrase that very well,” he says. “I meant – uh, you can still see OK with the glasses.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t understand how Cor could have meant that. It wasn’t what he asked at all. “Yes.”

“Great,” Cor says. He sighs. “OK, well, doc says you’re cleared to go home.” Cor stands up and gestures for him to follow, so he stands, too. He holds out Ignis’ phone, and Ignis takes it.

“Don’t forget your other glasses,” Ignis says. Then he stands up, too. “I’ve enjoyed having you to stay here, Prompto,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He’s enjoyed it, too. It’s good, staying with Ignis.

“Bye, squirt,” Gladio says. “Ask pops about the gym thing, OK?”

He doesn’t know who pops is, and he doesn’t know why Cor suddenly glares at Gladio. He doesn’t have time to think about it, though, because then Noctis says goodbye and then they have to leave.

It’s quiet on the drive back to Cor’s apartment. He spends the time looking at one of the other pairs of glasses. He’d thought maybe there was something on the ends of the protruding stems that allowed them to somehow plug in to his brain and correct whatever is wrong with his vision. But he can’t find anything. Maybe it’s something so small he can’t see it now that his vision won’t sharpen, and that’s why he doesn’t feel it, either. It would have to be long and sharp, though, to reach all the way into his brain, since there’s no port for it to plug into. It’s a mystery, and the answer is still as opaque when they arrive as it was when they set out.

They go up to Cor’s apartment in the elevator, and when they arrive, he walks into the kitchen and stops. There’s a couch there, where there wasn’t before. It barely fits, wedged under the window and taking up a great deal of the floor space. It’s dark grey and looks soft. Cor is staring at it, and he stares, too.

Cor turns to him. “I got us a couch,” he says.

He looks at Cor, then back at the couch. “Yes,” he says.

Cor rubs the back of his head. “It’s a start, anyway,” he mutters. He gestures to the couch. “You want to sit down?”

He sits down. The couch is very soft. Even softer than the couch at Ignis’ apartment. He puts his palms on the fabric and spreads his fingers. It feels so soft. It makes him think about clouds, even though he knows clouds are made of water so they probably don’t feel like this.

Cor’s mouth turns up slightly at the corners. “You like it?”

“Yeah,” he says. It’s strange, having a couch at Cor’s apartment. But it’s very soft.

Cor takes one of the chairs and turns it to face him, then sits on it. He leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he says.

He tries to sit up a little. It’s difficult. He sinks into the couch, and it makes him want to close his eyes.

“Yes,” he says, to show that he’s paying attention even though he’s sunk into the couch.

Cor sits in silence for a moment. He waits. It’s normal: Cor often tells him to listen and then doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know why, but it feels familiar now.

At last, Cor draws in a breath. “You can – shut down parts of your body,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “Processes.”

“Processes,” Cor says. He closes his eyes a moment. “All your processes, right?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure he can shut down his vision any more, but he hasn’t tried, so he doesn’t know for sure.

Cor nods. “What if you shut down something important? Your lungs, or your kidneys or something?”

“If I shut down my respiratory system, I would die once there was no more oxygen in my blood,” he says. “I – can shut down my digestive system. Not my kidneys by themselves. It would mean sustenance would no longer be processed.”

“Right,” Cor says. He’s frowning. “So there’s no failsafe or anything? You could – die if you shut down a process?”

“Yes,” he says. “If it was a vital process. Or if I shut down too many at once.”

Cor’s frown deepens. “Too many at once?” he says. “Even if they’re not vital?”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s not safe to shut down too many processes at once, even if they’re not immediately necessary for continued basic functioning.”

Cor sits up. He runs a hand through his hair. “So, what, if you – shut down your eyes and – I don’t know, your tongue at the same time, you’d, what, just – die? You’d just die?”

“No,” he says. “It has to be more processes than that. I don’t know how many, exactly. It would slow down my functioning to the point where I would be in danger of catastrophic systems failure.”

Cor puts a hand over his eyes. Then he runs it through his hair again. “OK,” he says. “OK. All right.” He doesn’t sound like he thinks it’s all right. Something in his voice sounds wrong, but he can’t quite identify what it is. He tries again to sit up straighter, listening and attentive.

“Shit,” Cor mutters. Then he shakes his head. “All right,” he says. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re not going to shut anything down, OK? Not even non-essential things. Don’t shut anything down, at all, for any reason.”

“Yes,” he says. “I understand.”

“Yeah, good,” Cor says. The thing in his voice is still wrong. “And that’s a standing order, kid. The only way you’re gonna shut anything down is if I say it’s OK. Or Ignis, if I’m not there. But that’s it. No-one else. Got it?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s a simple order. It will be easy to carry out.

“Right,” Cor says. “All right.”

After that, Cor sits for a moment or two. He doesn’t say anything. He’s looking down at his hands and frowning. Then he looks up.

“You said – when you shut down too many processes it slows down your functioning?” he says. “What does that mean – your heartbeat?”

“Yes,” he says. “My heartbeat, my respiration, all my functions slow down.”

Cor stares at him. He stares and stares. Then he says, “Have you – done that? Have you done that recently?”

He swallows. He doesn’t want to tell Cor about when he shut down too many processes. It was a stupid thing to do, and Cor was angry even though he didn’t know what he’d done. He’ll be even angrier when he finds out. But Cor asked him a direct question. He can’t disobey. He can’t disobey Cor.

“Yes,” he says. He says it quietly, but Cor hears it.

Cor nods. “When?” he says. He sounds angry.

“When I was in the room on my own,” he says. He doesn’t look at Cor. He hears his voice break a little, even though he tries to keep it steady. “I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t.”

He waits. It’s quiet. He looks down at the floor. At Cor’s feet. He wonders if Cor will correct him now. Cor hasn’t corrected him for anything else. But he knows now that this was something Cor didn’t want him to do. And now Cor knows he did it.

He waits. And then Cor’s hand are on his shoulders. Gripping tight, but not painful.

“Look at me,” Cor says. He sounds angry. He doesn’t want to look at Cor, but he can’t disobey. He raises his eyes and sees that Cor eyes are sharp and his mouth is set in a tight line.

“Don’t do that again,” Cor says. “Don’t ever do that again, understand?”

“Yes,” he says, almost choking on the word. “I won’t.”

Cor leans forward, and he braces himself. But then Cor wraps his arms around him. He holds him. It’s not painful. It’s warm and solid. He can hear Cor’s heart beating. It’s beating fast. He can hear Cor breathing in his ear. He doesn’t understand why Cor’s holding him.

He doesn’t understand why Cor’s holding him, but it’s good. It feels good. It wasn’t what he expected. Cor squeezes tight and puts a hand on the back of his head. Then he speaks. His mouth is so close to his ear that it tickles.

“Fuck,” he says. “What am I going to do with you?”

He swallows. He doesn’t know what Cor’s going to do with him. He thought Cor was going to correct him, but now Cor’s holding him. So he doesn’t know.

“I don’t know,” he says.

And Cor – laughs. It’s quiet, and it doesn’t sound quite right. But he laughs. And then he sits back. He stops holding him, but he keeps his hands on his shoulders. And – he doesn’t look angry. He just stares at him, for a long time. Then, finally, he seems to shake himself. He lets go of his shoulders and clears his throat, standing up.

“OK,” he says. “Dinner.”

And that’s all. There’s no correction. There’s no anger. Cor holds him, and then they have dinner.

And that’s all there is.

~

He thinks it’ll take him a long time to go to sleep. A lot of things have happened. But he didn’t sleep much the night before, and so it only takes a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and thinking about how Cor wasn’t angry with him before he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he’s somewhere else. It’s familiar. The floors and walls are made of metal, painted dark grey. Like Cor’s couch, but not soft. The sound of his footsteps echoes. It’s familiar. The sound, the smell. But everything’s quiet. There’s just his footsteps, no other sounds – no announcements, no orders, no other footsteps.

He looks around. He feels a familiar tight dread. He’s here again. He was here all along. Was he here all along? It’s hard to think, for some reason. And – there’s something in the way of his eyes. He reaches up to push it out of the way. The thing shifts, and then falls to the floor. There’s the sound of breaking glass.

He looks down. It’s glasses. A pair of glasses. They’re on the floor. The glass parts are broken. He reaches to pick them up. Someone gave him the glasses. It’s important. He’s supposed to keep them. But now he’s broken them.

A shadow moves at the edge of his vision. He looks up. But there’s nothing there. He turns around. There’s just a corridor. The ceiling is high above, lost in shadow. The light is bright and harsh. The walls are grey. There’s a soft hum. And nothing else.

He looks at the glasses. Maybe he can fix them. So he can give them back to – the person who gave them to him. He tries to remember. Everything feels strange and murky in his head. He can’t think properly.

And then: a footstep. Not his. He looks up. And there’s an MT unit. A level two, like him. Wearing a uniform, like him. Except when he looks down, he sees he’s not wearing a uniform. He’s wearing soft clothes that are too big for him. His feet are bare.

The level two walks towards him. Its footsteps echo on the metal floor. He was wearing boots before – that’s why his footsteps made the same noise. But now his boots are gone. His feet are bare.

The level two stops in front of him. “What am I going to do with you?” it asks.

He stares at it. “I don’t know,” he says. He holds out the glasses.

The level two takes the glasses and drops them. It grinds them under its heel.

“This unit is malfunctioning,” it says. “It requires termination.”

Then he’s on the ground. He’s lying on his back on the ground. The level two is leaning over him.

“This unit is malfunctioning,” it says.

Then it puts its hands round his throat. He doesn’t resist. He’s malfunctioning. He requires termination. The level two is carrying out orders. He can’t think. He can’t breathe.

He looks at the level two. It looks like him. A level two, like him. And there are spots on its face, just like there are spots on his face.

“Just die,” it says, and squeezes.

He closes his eyes.

And opens them. And he’s awake. He’s awake, and he’s – not in the facility. He gasps, breathing in. He reaches up. But there are no hands around his neck. He’s not lying on the floor. He’s lying in bed. In the room where he sleeps at Cor’s apartment. His heart is beating very fast. He feels like he can’t breathe, even though there’s no obstruction.

What. What happened?

It takes a long, long minute for him to understand: a dream. But it’s so strange. None of it made sense, but he didn’t even notice that when it was happening. It seemed real. It still seems real, even though he knows it wasn’t. He’s sweating, he realises. And crying. He wasn’t crying in the dream, but he’s crying now. His hands are shaking.

He doesn’t like dreams. He doesn’t understand why he’s having them. He never used to have them. He doesn’t want to have them any more.

He sits up and wraps his arms around his knees. He wishes someone was here to distract him from the dream. But it’s dark and quiet, and no-one’s here.

He’s alone.

~

In the morning, Cor looks at him over the table while they’re having breakfast.

“You OK, kid?” he asks. “You look tired.”

“Yes,” he says. He is tired. But he’s fine. It’s daytime, now, and Cor is here. They’re having breakfast. He’s fine. Eventually, he’ll have to go to sleep again, and then maybe things will be bad. But right now, things are fine.

Cor frowns. But then his phone rings.

Cor pulls the phone out of his pocket and looks at the screen. He raises his eyebrows. Then he puts it to his ear.

“Your Highness?” he says.

“Hey,” says the voice on the other end of the phone. It’s Noctis. “Can I talk to Prompto?”

Cor seems to consider this for a moment. Then he holds out the phone.

“It’s Prince Noctis,” he says.

He takes the phone and puts it to his ear. “Hello,” he says.

“Hey,” Noctis says. “We’re at the store. We’re waiting for you – how soon can you be here?”

He frowns. “I don’t understand,” he says.

“Yeah, sorry,” Noctis says. “I – yeah, Ignis, I know, I’m explaining. We thought you could come and buy some stuff. You know, clothes and stuff. We’re at the store.”

He still doesn’t understand, but he doesn’t want to say so. Noctis said he was explaining, but he didn’t understand the explanation. He tries to think of what he can say to solve the problem. Then Noctis sighs.

“Yeah, fine,” he says, voice slightly muffled. Then it becomes clearer. “Hang on, Specs wants to talk to you.”

There’s a certain amount of staticy noise, and then Ignis speaks.

“Good morning, Prompto,” he says.

“Good morning,” he replies. That’s good. He can understand the greeting easily.

“I’m sorry that Noct confused you,” Ignis says. “It might be easier if I explain to Cor. Could you pass the phone back to him.”

“Yes,” he says. He holds the phone out to Cor, who frowns, but takes it and puts it to his ear.

“Yeah?” he says.

“Ah, Marshal,” Ignis says. “I do apologise. His Highness was wondering if you and Prompto might like to come shopping with us?”

Cor’s frown deepens. “Shopping?” he says.

“For clothes and the like,” Ignis says. There’s a brief pause. “As we discussed in our strategy meeting,” he adds.

“Oh – yeah,” Cor says, glancing across the table at him. “Yeah, OK. Right now?”

“We’re at the store already,” Ignis says. “We thought it would be better to go early, before there are many other people around. I can send you the address.”

“Right,” Cor says. “We’ll be there in twenty.”

He takes the phone from his ear and looks across the table. “Looks like we’re going out,” he says.

~

Cor takes him to a place that’s like a very large room, filled with racks. On the racks are hundreds and hundreds of pieces of clothing. Each rack is occupied by clothing of a similar colour, but there are differences between the racks – so one might be green, one red, one yellow. The racks stretch away to the end of the room, barely visible in the distance, and the effect is extraordinary, patches of different colours filling up his vision. It’s like in the park, when he saw the plants with brightly coloured parts – flowers, he remembers – except so much more intense. He stands still and stares.

“How the hell are we going to find them in here?” Cor mutters beside him. “Fuck, I hate shopping.”

Fuck is bad, he remembers. He doesn’t know what shopping is, but from Cor’s expression, it isn’t pleasant. His stomach starts to twist a little.

“Marshal!” someone calls. It’s Ignis. He’s standing in a section where the clothes are mostly black, holding up his hand.

“Thank the Astrals,” Cor says. He grabs onto his elbow. “Stay by me, kid,” he says. “Keep the sunglasses on.”

They make their way to where Ignis is standing, half hidden behind a tall rack. When they et closer, he sees Noctis and Gladio are there, too. Noctis is looking at a black shirt. Gladio is looking at his phone.

“Hey,” Noctis says. He holds the shirt up. “What size are you?”

He thinks back to when he was last measured. “I’m 171 centimetres tall,” he says.

Noctis looks up at him and raises an eyebrow. “Uh, OK,” he says. “Try this on.”

“Noct,” Ignis says. “We should at least let Prompto choose some of his own clothes.”

“Huh?” Noctis says, turning to look at him. “Oh, yeah. But he should try this on, though.”

Ignis sighs and turns to him. “Prompto,” he says, “what clothes do you like?”

It’s a strange question to ask. He looks down at the clothes he’s wearing. They’re baggy enough to hide his ports, which he knows Cor thinks is important. They’re appropriately shaped. He’s not sure what other aspects of them he should be assessing.

“These clothes are appropriate,” he says. If they weren’t appropriate, Cor wouldn’t have given them to him. And they’re the same clothes Cor wears, so that seems correct.

Ignis’ mouth twitches a little. Gladio looks up from his book and raises his eyebrow. Noctis reaches out and takes hold of his sleeve, pinching the material of it between his thumb and finger.

“Uh, sure,” Noctis says. “If you like wearing a tent. Plus, they’re kind of boring. No offence, Cor.”

“None taken,” Cor says behind him.

He looks down at the clothes again. He doesn’t know boring, but he assumes it’s related to bored. He’ll look them both up when he gets back to Cor’s apartment. But he remembers that bored is something bad from how Noctis has used it before.

Cor puts a hand on his shoulder. “You need some new clothes, kid,” he says. “Something that you choose for yourself.”

He remembers the conversation he heard between Ignis and Cor. Ignis said he should have clothes he’d chosen for himself. He doesn’t understand why it’s important. He doesn’t have any opinions about clothes. The clothes he’s wearing are appropriate.

But Ignis said it was important. And now Cor’s said it, too. They want him to choose something. So he looks at the rack. He sees that there are multiple iterations of the shirt that Noctis is holding. He looks at Cor.

“How many clothes should I choose?” he asks.

“As many as you want, kid,” Cor says.

His heart sinks. He doesn’t want to choose any. How can he decide the appropriate quantity if Cor won’t give him instructions?

“I think three or four items would be an excellent start,” Ignis says then. “We can always get more later.”

He nods, feeling grateful to Ignis. He points to the shirts that are the same as the one Noctis is holding. “These three?”

Cor and Ignis look at the shirts, then look at him. Cor’s frowning. Ignis looks neutral.

“You don’t have to just choose what Noct wants,” Ignis says. Noctis starts to say something, but Ignis glances at him and he stops. “Why don’t you choose something different? It’d be a shame to have all your clothes be the same,” Ignis continues.

His heart sinks. He looks back at the rack. Some of the shirts are quite similar to the one Noctis is holding. Should he choose those? Or are they too much the same, will Ignis disapprove? He stares at the rack and tries to predict what the most appropriate choices will be.

“Hey,” Cor says. He’s standing just behind him. “You know, it doesn’t have to be from this rack. You can pick anything you want, from the whole store.”

He turns to look at Cor, then looks at the room behind him. It’s so big. There are so many clothes. How is he supposed to choose?

“What colour do you like?” Ignis says then. “Why don’t we start there.”

He looks at the colours. All the clothes near where they’re standing are black and grey and brown. But further away are green and red and blue and yellow, some deep and rich, others vibrant or pale or neon. He’s never seen so many different colours in close proximity to each other. It hadn’t really occurred to him that clothes could be coloured like that. At the facility everyone wore dark colours, and everyone he knows here wears mostly black, except the one with the white coat. But Ignis asked him what colour he liked, and he sees – the yellow. It reminds him of the sun, and of the plant with yellow flowers. He takes a few steps towards it, then looks back at Ignis. Ignis nods at him, so he walks to the rack with yellow clothes. He looks at them. It’s such a bright, warm colour. It’s nice to look at. He looks at some of the shirts. There are all different kinds, and the only thing they have in common is that they’re yellow.

“You like yellow, huh?” Cor says. He’s still standing behind him.

“Yes,” he says. It’s a good colour. It makes him think of outside. He looks at the shirts. There are so many. He’s not sure how he can choose. But then he finds one with a pattern on it. It’s lots of stylised depictions of flowers, intertwining with each other in a complex pattern. It’s mathematically pleasing, and he likes the flowers. The yellow is bright and vivid. He takes it and holds it out.

“This one?” he says.

Cor nods. But Noctis raises his eyebrows.

“Seriously?” he says.

“Noct, please,” Ignis says. “We’ve talked about this.”

Noctis closes his mouth. He doesn’t look pleased. He’s still holding the black shirt. But Ignis is smiling, and Gladio is beaming. So he thinks maybe it’s something else that’s making Noctis unhappy. He hopes Noctis is happy again soon.

“OK,” Cor says. He takes the shirt. But then Ignis steps forward.

“I rather think that’s the wrong size, Marshal,” he says, and then turns to the rack and goes through all the shirts with the same pattern until he finds a smaller one. He holds it up against him. “This seems more appropriate.”

“Uh, yeah,” Cor says, taking the new shirt. “Obviously.” He turns away. As he does so, he speaks, so quietly that he has to sharpen his hearing to catch it. “Fuck, I hate shopping,” he says.

“Why don’t you choose something else?” Ignis asks. So he turns and looks at all the racks. He likes the yellow shirt. But there are lots of other colours. Ignis said he didn’t have to have all the clothes be the same. And now, suddenly, he realises what that means. He’s struck with the possibilities. If he can wear a yellow shirt with flowers, then maybe – he could also wear something green, or blue. The colours are so bright. And nobody minded when he chose this rack, even though it wasn’t the rack where they were standing. So if he goes to another rack, maybe nobody will mind that, either.

He goes to another rack.

Nobody seems to mind.

The new rack is green. Again, there are lots of different shirts. He looks at them, hoping that something will stand out like the yellow shirt with the flowers. And he finds a shirt with images in a strip across the chest. The images are stylised, like the flowers on the other shirt. It takes him a moment to understand what the images depict, but then he sees that the objects depicted all have a distorted cone attached to their upper end and two scaly-looking legs with long toes. So they’re birds. He thinks they must be birds. And they’re yellow. So the shirt is both yellow and green.

He takes it out of the rack and holds it out to Cor.

“Chocobos?” Cor says.

He doesn’t understand the question. He waits to see if Cor will approve of the shirt or not.

“I’m the one who’s gonna need shades at this rate,” Noctis mutters.

Cor looks at the shirt. “Wrong size,” he says, glancing at Ignis. But he doesn’t disapprove. He just finds a smaller version of the same shirt. “OK, good to go. What next?”

And so it goes on. He finds two more shirts, and then several pairs of pants. They’re blue and purple and orange, all the colours bright and vibrant, and most of them have patterns on them of some kind, some more abstract, some depicting real objects. Noctis looks more and more unhappy, but everyone else looks pleased. Gladio keeps laughing and clapping Noctis on the back. He wishes Noctis wasn’t unhappy, but he doesn’t know what to do to improve the situation. At last, Cor directs him to go to a room at one end of the larger room and try the clothes on, to make sure they fit. Noctis goes with him, still carrying the black shirt. Cor and Ignis and Gladio wait outside.

In the small room, he takes off his shirt and pants and starts removing the yellow shirt from the hanger. Noctis leans against the wall, frowning at him. Then his frown deepens.

“Why d’you always wear that bandage, anyway?” he says. “Did you hurt yourself?”

He looks at the bandage around his wrist. He remembers he was supposed to say he got hurt in the accident. But Noctis knows there wasn’t an accident.

“There’s a barcode,” he says. “Cor said I shouldn’t let anyone see it.”

Noctis frowns. “A what?” he says.

“A barcode,” he repeats. “So that my designation can be easily determined.”

Noctis stares at him for a moment. He stands up straight. “What, like – a freaking candy bar?” he says. He sounds angry.

He doesn’t know what a candy bar is. He doesn’t know why Noctis is angry. He said something wrong, or did something wrong. He stands still, holding the yellow shirt.

And Noctis stands still, too. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides. There’s a long silence. And then Noctis lets out a breath in a violent rush of air.

“You know what, you don’t have to get the black one,” Noctis says. “If you don’t like it. You just – get what you want.”

He nods. Noctis seems less angry now. He’s glad, even though he doesn’t know why.

He puts on the yellow shirt. There’s a mirror, and he looks at it. It looks bright and cheerful, like someone smiling.

Noctis appears behind him in the mirror. He’s looking at the shirt, too. And then he smiles.

“Yeah,” he says. “You’re gonna stop traffic.”

~

He tries on all the other clothes. He tries on the black shirt, too, even though Noctis says he doesn’t have to. Each piece of clothing makes him look a little different. It’s interesting. He hadn’t really thought about clothes before.

When they go out from the small room, Cor takes the clothes from him.

“Ignis, keep an eye on him while I go and pay, would you?” he says. Then he walks away, to the other end of the room, where there’s a person standing behind a table.

“Well, how does it feel to have your own clothes?” Ignis asks.

He thinks about it. It’s – interesting. All the clothes are so different. He looks down at the clothes he’s wearing now, and thinks it will be good to wear something yellow or blue, with patterns or images. But before he can answer the question, he hears someone calling his name.

It’s Noctis. He’s standing by a rack of blue clothing. He’s holding up a shirt. It’s a vivid blue, like the sky, and there are depictions of fish on the chest, all coloured in bright colours.

“You like this?” he says.

He does like it. He likes the colour, and he likes the images.

“Yes,” he says.

Noctis nods. “Ignis, I’m gonna get this for Prompto,” he says. Then he starts walking over in the same direction Cor went. A moment later, he comes back. “I need the card,” he says.

Ignis pulls an object out of his pocket and opens it up. It’s like a small, square book, but he sees it’s a pouch with items inside. Ignis pulls out a small oblong piece of plastic and holds it out. Noctis takes at and turns away.

Gladio stands with his arms folded and watches Noctis walking towards the table. “Kid’s growing up,” he says.

Ignis smiles, putting the pouch back into his pocket.

“Indeed he is,” he says.

Chapter 29

Notes:

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone else, fanart!

Rainbow made another lovely set of images, one of Prompto getting shocked (because Rainbow enjoys hurting us with depictions of the angstiest parts of the story) and one very lovely one of Prompto enjoying the rain. The first is, of course, deliciously upsetting, but I think I love the second even more, because our kid looks so peaceful and happy ♥

Ninthfeather drew a picture of Prompto from early on in the story, before he gets his collar. It's a really interesting style, and I love how it captures how uncertain and lost Prompto was at this point in the fic.

In keeping with the theme of "angstiest moments", AgentOaky drew Prompto pushing the button. Poor Prompto's despair is so apparent in this picture through his posture and expression. Argh, my poor baby! ;________;

Big love to all the artists -- please go and enjoy the art and spread the love ♥♥♥

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They leave the room with all the racks of clothes via a moving staircase to the floor above. Here, there’s another similar room, but the racks here are full of various different kinds of items. There are more clothes – underwear and socks, rather than shirts and pants – but also shoes, bedsheets, towels. It’s a bewildering array. He’s surprised to discover there are so many things in the world.

They move from area to area, and in each area Cor orders him to choose some things. It’s a little easier now that he understands better the parameters of the order and what’s deemed an appropriate choice. The underwear and socks have even more options for bright colours and interesting patterns than the shirts and pants did, and he chooses ones with plants and flowers, fish – because Noctis liked the shirt with the fish – and the same yellow birds as the shirt he chose. The shoes are more difficult. He doesn’t really understand what’s wrong with the boots he already wears, but Cor says he can’t wear the same pair of boots all the time – which doesn’t make much sense, because he does wear the same pair of boots all the time, and nothing bad has happened. But Cor said it, so it must be true. But the shoes are much more varied and complex than the clothes were. There are different colours, but also different materials, different types of fastener, different sole thicknesses and tread depths, different amounts by which the shoe extends up the leg. Some shoes even have a strange elongated or thickened heel, but Noctis grabs his arm and pulls him away from these, his face flushed, whispering that they’re for girls. He doesn’t mind too much: the colours were attractive and some of the shoes had flowers or shiny stones on them, but the elongated heels seemed impractical to walk in, though they would be useful as a weapon. In the end, he chooses a pair of bright orange canvas shoes with laces and a pair of green leather boots, sturdy but significantly less heavy than the boots he’s wearing already.

By the time they reach the area with towels and bedsheets, he’s starting to feel tired, even though it’s early in the day and he hasn’t done anything yet except stand and choose things. Cor orders him to choose from the broad array of pillow covers available, and he stares at them and feels suddenly that the task is insurmountable. It’s strange: choosing was hard when they first arrived, then it got easier, but now it’s hard again. He doesn’t understand.

Cor looks at him, and then puts a hand on his back, between his shoulder-blades.

“How about this one?” he says, pulling out a blue pillow case with white images on it. “You like this?” The images are rounded and elongated; they look like stylised clouds in the sky. Perhaps that’s what they’re meant to be, although there’s also a semi-circular object with stripes of multiple colours which isn’t like anything he’s seen in the sky before. Still, the pillow case is bright and attractive and reminds him of the sky, and he’s grateful to Cor for suggesting it so he doesn’t have to look at them all and choose.

“Yes,” he says.

“Great,” Cor says. “We’ll get the matching bedspread and then we’ll get out of here. That’s definitely enough shopping for one day.”

When he turns to go, though, Noctis is standing behind him. He’s holding a black pillow cover with many small dots of white on it, arranged in patterns. He looks a little unsure of himself.

“Thought you might like this,” he says. “I know it’s black, but – you like the sky, so.”

He looks at the pillow cover. It doesn’t look like the sky. The sky is black at night, but it doesn’t have white dots. But he likes the white dots, and swirls of deep purple. And Noctis thought he would like it. So he nods.

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

Noct smiles, then. “I’ll get them, Cor,” he says, and takes the pillow cover with the clouds as well.

After that, they leave the room. They exit into a larger room that consists of walkways with a rail and a drop down to more walkways on the floor below. It reminds him of the facility, except that there are windows above him, and the walkways are stone rather than metal and lined with glass windows with colourful items behind them. And there are people here, wearing lots of different clothes. Lots of people, and no MT units except him.

“I’m starving,” Noctis says.

So they go along the walkway for a while, and then they go into a room that opens off it. The room is full of tables and chairs, with people sitting on some of them. There’s someone waiting there who smiles at them and then stutters a little when she sees Noctis.

“Uh – Your Highness,” she says.

“We’d like your most secluded table, please,” Ignis says. “And one of us will come and order for the whole table – we’d prefer no table service. You understand, of course.”

“Oh – of course,” the woman says. She takes them to a table in the corner of the room. The light here is dim, and there are no other people nearby.

“Sit there,” Cor says, pointing to a chair with its back to the rest of the room. “Don’t take off your sunglasses.”

He sits. He doesn’t take off his sunglasses.

Ignis gets to his feet. “There’s something I saw in one of the shops we passed that I would like to buy,” he says. “If you’ll all excuse me.”

He leaves. Gladio goes to the counter and fetches several books. He gives one to Cor, one to Noctis, one to the silent one, and one to him. The book’s cover is made of soft, leathery material, and is a deep red. There are no words printed on the cover. He opens it, and finds that inside are several pages of lists, organised into categories. Salads. Soups. Meat. Fish. Sweets. He reads the first page carefully, and comes to the conclusion that the items in the list are largely foods. At least, all the ones he understands are. There are many words he doesn’t understand. He also doesn’t understand the purpose of reading the book. The other books he knows of with lists of items are Royal Lucian Dictionary and Royal Lucian Illustrated Encyclopedia, but the items here are not in alphabetical order and no explanations are given. So he doesn’t understand. Still, Gladio gave him the book, so he reads it carefully, and tries to remember as many words he doesn’t know as possible so he can look them up later.

He’s reading the third page when he looks up to see that everyone else has put their books down and is looking at him. Waiting for him. He’s been slow at reading. But he still has three pages to go. Is he supposed to read the whole book? Or – what is he supposed to do?

Then Cor shifts in his seat and clears his throat. “I didn’t explain it,” he says. He looks at the others. “He’s never been out to eat before.”

Gladio and Noctis look like they’ve understood something, though he’s not sure what. The silent one makes no expression. Cor turns to him.

“You’re supposed to choose something from the menu,” he says. “To eat.”

“Oh,” he says. He assumes from contextual data that the menu must be the book he’s holding. But he’s never been asked to choose something to eat before. And he doesn’t know what most of the items on the menu are. Even the ones he does know are mostly things he’s never eaten before. He wonders how he’s supposed to choose. He feels tired of choosing things.

“Let’s look at the soups,” Cor says. He opens his book again. “Want to try one of these?”

He turns back to the first page and looks at the section headed Soups. Carrot and Orange. Miso. Bird’s Nest. Gazpacho. Leek and Potato. He pauses. Leek and Potato. He knows that one. He knows it tastes good.

“Leek and potato?” he says, hoping Cor will think it’s appropriate.

“You have that all the time,” Noctis says, at the same moment as Cor says, “Sounds good to me.” But Cor’s approval is more important than Noctis’, even though it would be good if Noctis approved as well, so he feels mostly satisfied that he performed adequately.

“Have a milkshake, too,” Noctis says then. “Triple-thick chocolate.” He looks at Cor. “Right?”

Cor considers. “Why not?” he says.

Yes,” Noctis says, and raises his hand. He performs high-five, even though he isn’t sure why the occasion is appropriate. But now Noctis seems to approve as well, and that’s pleasing.

Gladio gets up, then, and Cor and Noctis tell him what they want to eat. He goes to the counter, and when he comes back, Ignis is with him, carrying a bag.

“These are for you, Marshal,” he says. He holds the bag out, and Cor takes it and looks inside. He frowns.

“Is this a joke?” he asks.

Ignis raises his eyebrows. “Certainly not,” he says. “I’m rather surprised you would think it is. I intend only to provide as much help as I can for your – situation.”

Cor keeps frowning at him for a moment or two, then his face suddenly changes.

“Right,” he says. “Sorry.” He looks in the bag again. “Just–”

“Neither is entirely appropriate, I’m aware,” Ignis says. “But I hope the combination of the two may prove to be of some assistance.”

Cor reaches into the bag and pulls out two books. The cover of the first reads: Help! I’ve Got a Toddler! and has an image of a level one human pulling a saucepan down from a stove. The cover of the second reads: Help! I’ve Got a Teenager! and has an image of a level two human wearing all black and frowning. The human is holding something small in his hand that’s smoking as though it’s on fire.

Noctis and Gladio both snort. Even the silent one smiles. Cor glares at all of them.

“You think this is funny?” he asks.

“No, sir,” says the silent one.

“Kinda,” says Noctis.

Gladio just laughs into his hand. He thinks it’s interesting that Gladio smiles and laughs so much. He must be easy to please.

“Thank you, Ignis,” Cor says, turning his whole body round to face Ignis and face away from Gladio and Noctis. “That’s great. I’m sure it’ll be helpful.”

“You’re very welcome,” Ignis says. He looks at Noctis with narrowed eyes. “You’ll have to let me know how the toddler volume is. I might need to get another copy for myself.”

“Don’t you mean teenager?” Cor asks.

“I meant what I said,” Ignis says.

Gladio beams and slaps Noctis on the back.

He sits and watches. Although he understands the meanings of most of the words, he doesn’t understand why they elicit the reactions they do. It’s clear that there’s a system of meaning he’s not currently capable of accessing. It’s concerning – he would like to be able to understand – but he’s become accustomed now to a lack of understanding. In some situations, it certainly feels threatening and disorienting. But when it’s Noctis and Gladio and Ignis and Cor talking to each other and sometimes talking to him, even though he doesn’t understand and most likely fails to respond correctly at times, it doesn’t feel – bad. He would still like to know all the meanings and implications, and why things that seem neutral make Gladio smile or Noctis frown. But overall, it doesn’t feel bad. And most of the time there seem to be more smiles than frowns, or at least, when there are frowns, they go away relatively quickly. So he sits back in his chair and watches and listens as the others talk. It makes him feel warm.

~

After a while, Gladio goes and fetches food for them. There’s different foods for each person, according to the choice they made from the book. He has a bowl of soup, which is slightly greener than the leek and potato soup he’s used to. He also has a tall glass full of thick brown liquid. He assumes this is the milkshake. He’s had milk before, but it was white, and significantly less viscous. He touches the glass, and it’s cold like milk. He decides to eat the soup first.

He eats the soup. It’s recognisably similar to the soup that Ignis makes. But it’s not exactly the same. Somehow it’s less interesting but stronger-tasting at the same time. It tastes good. But It would be better if it was Ignis’ soup.

There’s not very much of it, so it doesn’t take long to eat. Then he looks at the milkshake. There’s a plastic tube in the glass, and he’s wondering what the function of it is when Noctis nudges him.

“Here,” Noctis says. “Like this.” Noctis has a similar tube in his drink, and he puts his mouth to it and sucks the drink up through the tube.

He nods. The instructions are clear. “Thank you,” he says. He picks up the milkshake and puts his mouth to the tube. Given the viscosity of the liquid, it takes a second or two to generate enough pressure to cause it to move up the tube. But once it does, it’s easy enough. And then he has a mouthful, and he pauses to taste it. It’s very cold, thick and strange, but after a moment the taste becomes clear.

It tastes good.

It doesn’t taste like anything he’s had before. He can’t even describe it to himself. He can’t think of any words to describe it. It’s not like soup, or orange juice, or anything. It tastes – remarkable.

Noctis grins at him. “Good, right?” he says.

He swallows the mouthful. “Yes,” he says. He puts his mouth to the tube immediately so he can taste it again.

Cor laughs. “Maybe you are a normal kid, after all,” he says.

He doesn’t know whether Cor wants him to respond. But responding would require clearing his mouth, and Cor didn’t ask him a question, so he doesn’t.

~

After they’ve finished eating and drinking, Cor turns to Ignis.

“You got the notebook?” he asks.

Ignis pulls out the notebook that he sometimes writes in and holds it out. Cor takes it and opens it.

“You liked the milkshake?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He’s still trying not to swallow so he can maintain the taste of it on his tongue.

Cor writes something down.

“What about the soup?” he asks. “Was it good?”

He considers this. “It was adequate,” he says.

Cor lets out a surprised-sounding laugh. Gladio snorts and Noctis, still drinking his milkshake, makes a sort of choking sound.

“Not as good as Ignis’ soup?” Cor asks.

“No,” he says. It’s an easy question. Ignis looks suddenly pleased, then covers his mouth with his hand. When he takes his hand away again, the pleased expression has mostly disappeared.

“Well,” he says, “I’m sure they did their best.”

Gladio makes a sort of hooting sound and slaps Ignis on the back. Noctis covers his mouth with his hand, shoulders shaking.

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure why everyone’s laughing, but it makes him feel good, so he smiles, too. When Cor sees him, his own smile broadens.

“All right then,” he says, writing in the notebook. “Four stars for milkshake, two stars for soup.” He hands the notebook back to Ignis. “I’m gonna go pay,” he says. “Kid – why don’t you change into your new clothes in the bathroom? I’d like to see them.”

He stands up. “Yes,” he says, and takes the bag with the clothes. He goes to the latrine, the silent one following behind him. The silent one stands outside the door, and he goes in and changes into the yellow shirt with the flower pattern and a pair of purple pants with red dots on them. He looks at himself in the mirror. The yellow looks bright and cheerful. It makes him feel lighter. He hopes that Cor will look at it and feel lighter, too.

Then, suddenly, there’s a pain in the back of his head. There’s no warning: one moment, he feels fine, the next, the pain is blinding, forcing him to close his eyes. He bends over the sink, taking hold of it to prevent himself falling. His stomach rolls unpleasantly, and he swallows hard, trying not to vomit.

The pain seems to mutate and spread through his brain. He sees it behind his eyelids, like a brilliant blue flower that hurts to look at. He feels the glasses slip from his head and tumble into the sink, but he doesn’t hear the clatter because the pain is taking up all the rest of his senses.

And then there’s a sort of mental click, like something shifts into place, and the pain is gone. There’s a residual dull ache, but it’s nothing unusual. He opens his eyes. Blinks. He sees the sink, with the sunglasses sitting at the bottom of it and his hands gripping the rim tightly. There’s a drop of oily black on the side nearest him. It stands out against the bright white of the sink bowl.

He straightens up, trying to catch his breath. He looks pale in this mirror. The spots on his face stand out unusually clearly. A trickle of black creeps down his upper lip, and his drifting mind latches onto this and connects it to the drop of black in the sink. And he realises: if the blood lands on his yellow shirt, it’ll make a hole.

He lunges for the roll of tissue next to the sink. His hands are shaking, and it takes him two tries to successfully tear off a piece and press it to his nose. He scrubs, trying to make sure that all the blood has gone. Then he cleans up the drop in the sink, and stares at himself in the mirror, waiting to see if he’s still bleeding.

Ten seconds. Twenty seconds. Thirty seconds.

No more blood.

He drops the tissue in the trash and picks up the sunglasses. When he puts them back on, everything suddenly becomes blurry. He takes them off and cleans them carefully. Then he puts them back on.

Blurry.

He frowns. Then he remembers. The sunglasses have some form of mechanism to compensate for the malfunctioning focus control in his vision. But – when he wasn’t wearing them, his vision was fine. It wasn’t malfunctioning.

He takes the sunglasses off. He tries brightening his vision. It brightens. He darkens it. It darkens.

His vision is working again.

It’s good. Somehow his system has self-corrected. It hurt at least as much as a normal correction administered by a commanding officer, although the pain was much shorter in duration. Perhaps if his commanding officer fails to correct him for long enough, his system will compensate. He’s never heard of such a thing. But then, he’s never heard of an MT unit going uncorrected before, either.

There’s a knock at the door. On the other side, Cor speaks. “Prompto,” he says, “you OK in there?”

He puts the sunglasses on. He has to wear them – those are his orders. He readjusts the focus of his vision to compensate for the blurriness, and brightens it to compensate for the dark lenses.

“Yes,” he says. He checks to make sure everything is clean in the latrine. Then he goes out.

When he steps out of the latrine, everyone is waiting. Cor looks him up and down, then puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Looking sharp,” he says.

Noctis’ face makes a series of expressions that follow each other fast enough that he can’t interpret them, and finally settles on a small smile. Ignis nods and looks satisfied. Gladio puts on a pair of sunglasses, grins wide, and holds out his fists with the thumbs sticking out and pointing upwards.

“How’s it feel to have your own clothes?” Cor asks.

He looks down at the yellow shirt. He’s glad he didn’t bleed on it and make a hole.

“Good,” he says.

And Cor smiles.

~

They’re walking down the walkways again when Ignis steps up beside him.

“Excuse me, Prompto,” he says. Then he takes out a small knife. He leans over and cuts something by his ear. He holds up a square of cardboard. The square was attached to the shirt by a plastic wire. He saw it before and didn’t know its function. But now Ignis has cut it off and holds it out to him.

“The label was still attached,” he says.

He puts the square of cardboard in his pocket. He still doesn’t know its purpose. Then Noctis turns.

“Hey,” he says, pointing. “Let’s go to the arcade.”

Cor stops walking and frowns at him. He stops walking, too, and waits to see what Cor will do.

“I don’t know,” Cor says.

“It might be a little – loud for Prompto,” Ignis says.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad,” Noctis says. “It’s early, there won’t be many people there. And we’ll play a game in a corner somewhere. We can leave if he gets freaked out.”

It’s clear that Cor is having some difficulty making a decision. He doesn’t fully understand what the decision is about. Noctis wants to go somewhere, but Ignis thinks it will be too loud for him. He wonders why Noctis doesn’t just suggest that he can turn down his hearing, and he’s opening his mouth to suggest it himself when Gladio speaks.

“What, you’re gonna keep the kid inside for the rest of his life and never let him have any fun?” he says. “I don’t see how the arcade’s any worse than a department store or a restaurant. He’s not made of glass.”

Cor raises an eyebrow, and Gladio suddenly clears his throat.

“Sir,” he adds.

Cor just glares at him for a moment, then looks at Ignis.

Ignis frowns in thought. “Well, I’m not an expert,” he says, “but – I suppose it is a good idea to get him more used to public areas. And he does enjoy playing games with Noctis.”

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he nods abruptly.

“All right,” he says. “First sign of trouble, we’re leaving. Got it?” He turns to the silent one. “You keep an eye on the room.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says.

Cor nods again. He stands still for a long moment. Then he sighs and puts a hand on the back of his neck.

“You feel uncomfortable at all, you tell me, understand?” he says.

“C’mon, Cor, it’s just the arcade,” Noctis says. “You’re the one who’s gonna freak him out.” He nudges him. “It’s gonna be fun, you’ll see.”

Then Noctis starts walking, and Cor follows. Cor keeps his hand on the back of his neck. It feels weighty and solid. He focuses on the feeling as he walks.

They go into another room. This one is dimly light and large, and filled with various pieces of equipment, many of which are emitting unusual electronic whistles and beeps. There are a few people in the room standing in front of these pieces of equipment. All the people are male except one.

Noctis goes up to a counter. Cor doesn’t follow, though. He steers him away, towards the corner of the room with the fewest people.

“Keep the sunglasses on,” he says in a low voice.

“Yes,” he says. “I understand.”

Noctis comes back, then, carrying a number of round metallic discs in his cupped hands.

“Battle Bots Three,” he says. “Come on, this way.”

He leads them to the corner and stands in front of one of the pieces of equipment. He turns and holds out his metallic discs to Ignis.

“Hold these, Specs,” he says.

Ignis produces a small fabric bag from his pocket, and Noctis pours the discs inside. He retains two, and puts them into a slot in the machine. Then he picks up an object that’s holstered in front of the machine. He sees it’s in the shape of a gun. It’s clearly made of plastic, however, and from the way Noctis is holding it, it can’t be a real firearm.

“OK, it’s pretty simple,” Noctis says. “You just point the gun at the screen and you try and shoot as many robots as possible. You get more points for the big purple ones, but they’re harder to kill. Let me show y–”

“Noct,” Ignis says quietly, and Noctis looks round at him. “Perhaps a game about mowing down robots is not the most appropriate thing?” Ignis says.

Noctis stares at Ignis for a moment, then turns to looks at him. “Uh,” he says. “I mean – if you’re OK with it?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s used to simulations which involve killing all kinds of things. Robots are one of the easier targets in general, because their programming makes them predictable.

“Sure?” Noctis says.

He nods.

“He’s not a robot, anyway, Specs,” Noctis mutters over his shoulder. Then he picks up the gun again. “OK, I’ll play a round so you can see how it’s done, then we can play together, OK?”

“Yes,” he says.

Noctis presses a button on the console, then raises his gun and starts shooting. His aim is mostly adequate, but his stance and his grip are sloppy and lead him to make a number of mistakes. He doesn’t seem deterred by this, however, and continues to fire.

He looks around the room. No-one is paying them any attention. He looks at the equipment next to him, and sees that it’s displaying a familiar image on the screen. Over the image are emblazoned the words Shoot the Messenger.

And then – he understands. Ignis said it was a game. Like the games he’s played with Noctis before. This particular game is very similar to a training simulation, but it’s not a training simulation. Otherwise, someone would have stopped Noctis by now and corrected his poor stance. And Noctis is human. He’s not sure if humans are ever corrected.

“Ha!” Noctis says then. The machine is making a tinny noise, and the screen displays the words High Score! “Not my personal best, but not bad,” Noctis says. He types something into the machine. “You ready to play?” he says, pointing at a second imitation gun.

He picks up the gun and hefts it. It’s very light. He mentally adjusts for the low weight.

“What happens if I do poorly?” he asks. It’s important to know if he’ll be corrected or not.

Noctis shrugs. “You’re a beginner,” he says. “I’ll help you get better. We can play again, as many times as you want.”

He nods. He doesn’t think I’ll help you get better means I’ll correct you. It’s good. He raises the gun.

“Ready?” Noctis asks.

He shuts down peripheral awareness and starts up emergency-only alerts. He adjusts his stance and grip for the low weight of the gun, recalculates, and adjusts again. He switches his vision into targeting mode and focuses all senses on the screen.

“Yes,” he says.

Noctis presses the button.

The robots appear slowly at first, but very soon they become faster. There’s a targeting mark on the screen, but he ignores it and uses his own, which is fully calibrated for his reflexes and capabilities. He’s aware that Noctis is also firing at the robots, and he concentrates mostly on his half of the screen, only shooting the ones on the other side if Noctis fails to hit them in time. The big purple robots are difficult, as Noctis told him, but he uses rapid-fire reflexes and that helps a lot. It’s been a while since his last training session, and he’s a little rusty, but the game is straightforward and requires a fairly low level of skill. There seems to be no end to it, though. The more robots they kill, the faster they come.

His emergency-only alert system informs him that Noctis made some kind of loud noise, but that there’s no obvious danger. He ignores this and continues to fire. After a minute or two, he becomes aware that Noctis is no longer shooting at the robots, and that’s concerning. With his peripheral awareness switched off and his vision fully focussed on the screen, he can’t see if Noctis is hurt or otherwise incapacitated. It’s important for him to complete the task he’s been assigned, but he starts to find it difficult to concentrate. The lack of information about Noctis’ status is a drain on his resources – he needs to concentrate everything on the game, especially as the robots are now appearing at almost impossible speed, but he can’t.

He can’t, and at last, he can no longer function with the lack of data. He switches his peripheral awareness back on, and a few seconds later he loses the game.

He turns to look.

Noctis is standing there, still holding his gun, staring at him.

“Holy fuck,” Noctis says.

He looks at Cor. Cor is staring at him, too. Ignis is staring at him. Gladio is staring at him, his mouth slightly open.

He switches back to normal vision mode. The machine is making a loud, grating noise. He looks at the screen.

Pole Position!!! the machine says.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” Noctis asks. His voice sounds hoarse.

He looks at Noctis. “The training facility,” he says. That’s where he learned to do everything. Except fist bump and high five.

“Fuuuuuuuck,” Noctis says. Then, suddenly, he grins. “Fuck! Holy fuck, Prompto, you absolutely killed that thing!” And he holds up both fists.

He puts the gun down and performs two fist-bumps at once. Noctis is smiling, so he smiles, too. And then Cor suddenly puts a hand on his shoulder and shoves him, stepping in front of him.

“What do you want?” Cor says.

“Hey, whoa, buddy,” an unfamiliar voice says. One of the people from elsewhere in the room has come over to them. “Just wanted to see – it sounded like someone beat the Battle Bots Three high score?” The person looks at the screen and whistles. “Holy fuck, who the–” Then he looks up at Cor again. “Shit, are you Cor the Immortal?

“Lacertus,” Cor snaps, and a moment later the silent one appears, grabbing the person’s shoulder and pulling them away. Cor spins to face the rest of them. “We’re leaving,” he says.

Cor grabs the back of his neck and starts walking. Cor keeps himself between him and the rest of the room, and Gladio walks in front so he can’t see any of the people. But he can hear what they’re saying.

“You see that kid? He just absolutely massacred the high score on Battle Bots Three,” says one.

“Who? The blind kid?” another asks.

“No way is he blind,” the first one says. “I know blind people have superpowers, but I’m pretty sure target shooting isn’t one of them.”

“Uh – sunglasses indoors, check, dude he’s with is helping him, check, looks like he got dressed in the dark, check – you’re sure it was him?”

“Dude, this is the best part – that dude he’s with? Cor the Immortal.”

There’s a pause. “You’re shitting me.”

“Nope. And I think the Prince was there, too, but he’s pretty short, so I couldn’t tell if it was him with all the giant beefy bodyguards.”

“Come on, if you’re gonna make up a story, at least make it believable–”

And then they’re outside, walking quickly down the walkways. Cor is still holding the back of his neck. Noctis is still grinning very wide.

“That was amazing,” he says, turning to walk backwards in front of them. “That was so great.”

Cor doesn’t look like he thought it was great. Ignis doesn’t, either. But Noctis looks so pleased. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Noctis look this pleased before. He can’t decide if it was good or bad. But he liked playing the game with Noctis, even if Cor isn’t pleased now. He can’t decide. He looks at Cor again.

Cor sees him looking. He sighs, and then he squeezes the back of his neck – not hard, just gently.

“It’s OK, kid,” he says. “Don’t worry about it. Everything’s good.”

Everything’s good. Noctis is pleased and Cor said not to worry and that everything’s good. So even if Cor doesn’t look pleased, maybe it’s all right. So maybe he can be pleased with Noctis and not worry about Cor.

He holds up his fist. “Fist bump?” he says.

Noctis performs fist bump.

“Epic fist bump,” he says.

And it feels good.

Notes:

Picture Ignis, scanning the shelves at the bookshop: "Hm, they don't seem to have Help! I've Got a Teenage MT! What a terrible oversight."

Picture Ignis two years later, putting the finishing touches to his manuscript of Help! I've Got a Teenage MT! and sending it off to the publishers...

Chapter 30

Notes:

Well, friends and neighbours, this chapter was meant to be about something totally different from what it ended up being about. But Prompto was uncooperative, so this is what we’ve got.

And also! Fanart! Which this week is all super cute and adorable rather than angsty!

IzzyMeadows made this adorable sketch of Prompto in his cool shades and silly chocobo shirt. He looks so pleased with his new outfit! I love it! ♥

Characats made this picture of Prompto choosing his yellow shirt. My first thought on seeing this: “Awww, Prompto is super cute!" My second thought: “Don’t look like that, Noct! Let him wear his terrible clothes and be happy!!!"

Paigeyleighwolf made these doodles of Prompto in his entire eye-searing outfit, Noct reluctantly (and adorably) approving, and! My favourite, which is Prompto trying milkshake for the first time. His eyes are so big! Hooray for our kid getting his first taste of junk food!

And last but not least, Puffbirdstudio made this awesome picture of everyone’s expressions after Prompto slays at Battle Bots III. Haha, I love them all, but especially Cor! And Gladio. And Ignis. Maybe I just especially love them all.

Big thanks to all the lovely artists – I get such a kick out of seeing the different ways these scenes are imagined by different people. And really, just out of thinking that anyone cares about something I wrote enough to draw a picture for it. You guys are so great ♥♥♥

Chapter Text

Later, he sits on the couch in the kitchen. It’s not time for dinner yet, and Cor said he should sit and read, so he does. Cor’s doing something in the other room, but after a while he comes into the kitchen, too. He sits on the couch next to him. He’s holding one of the books Ignis gave him. He opens it and starts to read.

He’s reading Royal Lucian Dictionary. But he’s interested in the book Cor’s reading. He wonders what the subject is. He looks over and reads a passage towards the bottom of the page. At this point, your toddler may begin to assert himself, using the word “no” a lot and throwing tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. He may be clingy and possessive of his parent.

“Nope,” Cor says under his breath, and turns the page before he can read any more.

He turns back to Royal Lucian Dictionary. It’s hard to concentrate, though, and he finds himself looking at Cor’s book again. Cor is tapping his finger next to a passage. It reads: Your toddler may have difficulty making decisions if there are too many choices: offer two options, not five. It’s at around this time that he will begin to develop a sense of self.

“Hm,” Cor mutters, and then he pulls out a pencil and makes a mark in the margin of the page. Then he looks at him. “You OK, kid?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He looks back at the book. It feels tiring to read it. There are so many words, so many definitions.

Cor keeps looking at him. Then he looks at the book. “What’s that, the dictionary?” he says. “I don’t think Ignis meant for you to read that.”

He looks up at Cor. He feels confused. He thought when Ignis gave him the books it meant he ought to read them. “Oh,” he says. “What did he want me to do with it?”

“Just – refer to it, when you don’t know a word you read somewhere else,” Cor says. “That’s what dictionaries are for.” He taps his fingers on his knee. “What about that science book? Why don’t you read that?”

He closes the dictionary and puts it on the table. It does make sense that he should look at it when he doesn’t know a word. He thought when Ignis first gave it to him that he would be able to learn all the words and all their meanings, but there’s a lot more than he thought, and it’s hard to learn them by just reading them one after another. He picks up the other book that Ignis gave him. He hasn’t looked at it since he learned about Eos being a sphere of rock hanging in empty space. Ignis said that was true, but it seems so unlikely that it’s still difficult for him to believe.

He opens the book and reads the first part again, to make sure he remembers all the details, even if they seem so strange. Then he turns the page.

How does the sun work? is the title at the top of the page, and he feels a sudden twinge of – something in his stomach. Yes. He wants to know how the sun works. He’s wanted to know since he first saw it hanging in the sky.

The sun may look like a lightbulb, but it’s actually a gigantic ball of fire that’s many millions of kilometres away from Eos! the book proclaims.

He stares. He reads it again. Then he reads the rest of the paragraph and looks at the image. The image is of a flaming sphere, with a cross-section cutaway, different regions labelled, and a scale that he can hardly even begin to comprehend. The text explains the following: the sun is an enormous ball of gas, much bigger than Eos, which is the world. The gas is extremely hot, and so the sun is on fire. It’s hot and bright enough to impart heat and light to the surface of Eos, even though it’s unimaginably far away. The sun also hangs in empty space.

He reads it all again. The meaning doesn’t change. But there’s no explanation of how any of it can be possible. It’s as if someone took the most nonsensical claims possible and wrote them all in the book. And even though Ignis told him that the section about Eos was true, he feels sure that this section must be false.

“Hey,” Cor says. “You OK?”

He looks at Cor. Cor’s frowning at him. “You OK?” he says again. “Something wrong?”

He swallows and holds out the book. Cor takes it and reads over the text. Then he looks at him.

“Sorry, kid,” he says, “you’re gonna have to explain the problem to me.”

“The book,” he says pointing at it. “Is it – right?”

Cor glances at the book. “This part is, at least,” he says. “I guess the rest probably is, too.”

He stares at the book in Cor’s hands. Then he stares at Cor. Cor looks back at him, frown deepening. Then he puts the book aside.

“OK,” he says. “So what did you think the sun was?”

He doesn’t know what he thought, now. He thought – it was a machine. Something artificial. Maybe a fire, or just a very large electric light. He realises now that that didn’t really make much sense. But this doesn’t make sense either, not really.

He feels stupid. Stupid, and hopelessly confused.

“OK, I hate that look,” Cor says. He stands up. “Come on. We’re going out.”

He stands up and follows Cor. The silent one follows them as they go down in the elevator. They get into the car and drive. Outside, it’s still light. Cor drives them to a place he hasn’t been to before. It’s a wide, flat area of paving, with a railing at one end. There are places where water is spraying up from the ground in a tall, curving spout. There are people, walking, and sitting, and standing at the rail. Cor takes him by the arm, and they walk over to stand at the rail, too. In front of them is a steep drop to the road below, and a gap between tall buildings, wide enough to see the sun.

“There it is,” Cor says. “Don’t look straight at it. It’s not good for your eyes.”

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure why they’ve come here. The sun is hanging low in the sky. It looks small and round, maybe the size of the controller for his collar. He already knew it was much bigger than that, of course. He knew it was far away. But how big and how far – it seems impossible. It’s difficult enough to comprehend how big the world is outside the facility – how many new parts of it he sees every day, and how much he imagines there must still be to see. But he’s never thought about what might be beyond the world. The idea that it’s just – nothing, unimaginable amounts of nothingness with a gigantic ball of burning gas just hanging in it – it makes his stomach swoop.

“I guess it’s weird,” Cor says. He’s standing beside him with a hand on his back, between his shoulderblades. “I never really thought that hard about it before.”

“I didn’t think about it, either,” he says. He feels like he didn’t really think about anything at all, before he met Cor. He remembers the feeling of his mind opening up when Ignis told him about clouds and rain, how he suddenly felt that there was so much more space inside him. This doesn’t feel like that. He can still feel his mind opening, but it feels almost painful.

“You didn’t even know it existed,” Cor says. “Pretty good excuse, kid.”

He didn’t even know it existed. He’s not sure how many days it’s been since he learned that the sun exists. He does remember how beautiful it was, the first time he saw it, hanging in the sky. How did he live so much time without even knowing it existed?

How can it exist? It doesn’t make any sense.

The light is changing colour. It’s not clear and transparent the way it is during the day. It’s not the grey light that comes when there are clouds over the sky, either. There are a few clouds, but not many. And the light is – yellow, and it seems strangely thick to his eyes, even though it has no substance. Below them and beside them, the buildings cast deep shadows across the road and paved area. And the sun seems closer to the horizon than it was when they arrived. Certainly closer than it has been when he’s seen it before. Is it falling?

“Sunset soon,” Cor says. He takes out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on. Then he puts his hand back on his back. “I know it’s weird. It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand it. I don’t understand much of it, either.”

The lower edge of the sun touches the horizon. He knows it must be an optical illusion. The ground would catch fire if the sun truly touched it. So – the sun must be– He shakes his head and engages the mathematical element of his brain. If the sun is a sphere – he remembers the size and distance mentioned in the book and includes them in the equation. He doesn’t remember the size of Eos, but he remembers the book said it was much smaller than the sun, so he assumes it’s a quarter of the size. What sort of motion would make the sun appear to fall below the horizon to an observer on the surface of Eos?

There are two options. The first is that the sun is orbiting Eos, or that Eos is orbiting the sun. The second is that Eos is rotating. In both cases, given the distances involved, the motion would have to be extraordinarily rapid for the sun to appear to move so quickly. But he doesn’t feel like the ground he’s standing on is moving at all. So it must be the sun that’s moving.

Then the sun dips a little lower, and the clouds above the sun begin to turn orange. And then he forgets about his calculations, because the orange grows deeper and brighter, and he realises that the clouds have caught fire.

“What’s happening?” he asks. His voice comes out hoarse and croaky. Is the sun moving closer to Eos? Or is the book incorrect? How can the clouds have caught fire when they’re made of water?

Cor glances sideways at him, then frowns and turns towards him.

“Sunset,” he says. “The sun’s going down.”

“But–” he says, and points at the clouds. “The fire.” Cor doesn’t seem worried by the fire, but he thinks it must be dangerous. The clouds are high above the ground, but if they can catch fire then surely the ground can, too?

“Fire?” Cor asks. He looks where he’s pointing. Then he raises his eyebrows. “The clouds?”

He nods. The colour is changing, growing brighter, closer to red than orange. It would be beautiful, if it wasn’t so terrifying.

Cor stares at him. Then he puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in close to his side, squeezing him a little. “That’s the light,” he says. His voice sounds a little strange. “It’s just the way the sunlight’s reflecting off them. They’re not on fire.”

He swallows. “Oh,” he says. He tries to recalibrate his understanding. The sun is half obscured by the horizon now, and it looks strangely orange-red. The same colour as the clouds. “Oh,” he says again, feeling the fear die away. Cor’s arm feels reassuring around his shoulders. He still feels a little sick, even though he’s not really scared any more. But – it’s beautiful. Now that he knows it’s not a real fire, he realises it’s beautiful. He wonders how many more different ways the sky can be. All of them are beautiful.

“You’ve never seen this before,” Cor says.

“No,” he says.

Cor pulls out his phone. “Here,” he says. “Take a picture. So you remember it.”

He takes the phone and holds it up. The sky fills the screen. The clouds are a startling red, now, and the whole sky behind them is pink, grading up to pale and then deep blue above. He taps the button on the screen, and the image freezes. But the sun isn’t quite in the right place in the image, and he reorients the screen and taps the button again, frowning. Then he tries holding the phone so the long axis is horizontal. This is more suited to the image he wants. The colours aren’t quite as bright in the phone, but he remembers that from the picture he took of the orange, and he’s not sure what can be done to improve it. He taps the button again.

Cor’s looking at him. “Can I see?” he says.

He holds the phone out. He’s not sure why Cor wants to see the image. The real thing is in front of him, and the colours in the image are inferior.

Cor looks at the phone. “Huh,” he says. “Nice picture.”

He didn’t expect Cor to say that. The colours in the image are inferior, but Cor still said nice picture. He feels a sudden warmth that starts in his chest and spreads through him. He performed adequately. Cor is pleased with his performance. It’s good.

Cor’s looking through other pictures on his phone, so he turns back to look at the sky. The sun is almost gone now, just a sliver of light still above the ground. The sliver is a deep, shining red. It’s beautiful. And it’s getting dark.

And – it’s getting dark. Because the sun is falling below the ground. And that’s – why there’s night.

He opens his mouth, but no words come out. He re-engages the mathematical element in his mind. Yes: if the sun is orbiting Eos, then it would be on the other side of Eos for some period of time during every orbit. And then the side of Eos away from the sun would be dark. And–

–it would be night-time.

He blinks. But is that – why there’s night-time? Why the sky goes dark? Not because the sun’s turned off, but because – it just isn’t there any more? He doesn’t think it can be right, but – it feels right. It fits with all the evidence, and with his calculations. Suddenly, he wants to go back to Cor’s apartment and read the rest of Wonderful World: A Children’s First Book of Eos Primoris Cognoscentia. He remembers the initial list of questions included Why is it light in the daytime and dark at night?, and he wants to know, with a sudden, unexpected ache, whether he’s right about it or not. If Ignis were here, he would ask Ignis. But Cor doesn’t seem to know as many things as Ignis, and sometimes his explanations are confusing, so he thinks maybe it would be better to look at the book rather than to ask Cor.

Cor looks up from his phone, then. “Hey, kid,” he says, “these pictures are pretty–”

Then Cor’s phone starts ringing in his hand. He stops talking and frowns at it. Then he looks at the silent one.

“Keep an eye on him,” he says.

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says.

Cor walks away, back across the paved area. He puts the phone to his ear. “Ignis,” he says, when he’s some distance away. “Don’t tell me, I already know.”

“You know I have to report it,” Ignis says on the other end of the phone. “Even if I didn’t, Gladio or Lacertus would.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Cor says. “I don’t even disagree. We shouldn’t be keeping this crap secret. But I gotta know the king’s not gonna–”

He doesn’t understand anything Cor and Ignis are saying, so he stops listening. He wants to stop listening. Because when he stops listening, it’s – different. It’s getting dark, and Cor is far enough away that, if he doesn’t adjust his vision, he can’t see him very well. The silent one is there, but he doesn’t look at him or speak to him. So – it’s almost like he’s alone.

Alone. Outside and alone.

He turns in a circle. On one side is the rail, and the drop down to the road, and the view between the tall buildings of the edge of the sky, still a pale blue. On the other is the wide paved area, with people crossing it, or standing at the rail like him, or sitting on benches. Lots of people. He didn’t know there were so many people in the world. And above him is the sky, deep blue, growing darker all the time.

He’s been alone before. But it’s always been a punishment. In the facility, being alone meant being in a narrow dark space, so dark that no change to his vision would lighten it. And here, being alone was being in an empty room for hours and hours. But now he’s not in an empty room. He’s outside. He’s in the world. The world is so big, and here he is. He’s very small. He could go anywhere. He could go and see what else there is, in the world. He feels dizzy and – disconnected, as though his feet aren’t quite touching the ground. It’s strange.

He takes a step along the rail. Then the silent one turns his head and looks at him. And he feels – a click. Like something changing. And he remembers that he can’t go anywhere, because Cor didn’t say he could. Cor didn’t say stay here, but he didn’t say he could go anywhere else, either. So he can’t. He’s not sure why he thought he could. It seems strange. It’s not logical.

The silent one is looking at him. He turns to look over the rail. Down below, lights are coming on. There are cars in the roads, and people walking on the edges of the roads. There are so many people. He wonders where they’re all going. Then he tunes his hearing back to listen to what Cor and Ignis are saying.

“–Gladio to run him through a few things,” Ignis says. “He’s already agreed.”

“Yeah, OK,” Cor says. “We’ll take that to Clarus. I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow.”

“Excellent,” Ignis says. “Then, if there’s nothing further we need to discuss–”

He realises that Ignis is about to say goodbye. And then, before he knows it, he’s moving. He’s running towards Cor. He hears the silent one shout behind him, but he doesn’t look back. He switches his vision to night mode, and sees Cor turning to look, the phone still pressed against his ear. His hearing is still sharpened, and he hears the silent one’s footsteps behind him, running.

Then he arrives in front of Cor and stops running. Cor stares at him, frowning deeply. Then he holds up a hand in an abrupt gesture.

“Lacertus, no,” he says. “It’s fine.”

The silent one’s footsteps come to a halt beside him. In his peripheral vision, he sees that the silent one is holding the controller for the collar between his thumb and forefinger.

Cor looks at him. “Prompto?” he says. “What happened?”

He blinks at Cor. He’s not sure what happened.

Cor raises the phone to his ear. “Ignis, I gotta–” he says.

He raises a hand. “No, I–” he says.

Cor stops speaking and stares at him. “Kid?” he says.

He swallows. “Ignis?” he says.

“Hang on,” Cor says into the phone. He lowers it and frowns at him. “You want to talk to Ignis?” he asks.

He tries to speak, but his throat is dry. He nods instead.

Cor stands a moment in silence. Then he holds the phone out.

He takes it and presses it to his ear.

“Ignis?” he says.

“Prompto?” Ignis says on the other end of the line. “Is everything all right?”

He takes a breath. “Does the sun orbit Eos?” he asks.

Cor raises his eyebrows.

“No,” Ignis says. He sounds surprised. “Eos orbits the sun.”

“Oh,” he says. It makes sense. Except– “Why can’t I feel it moving?”

“Because you’re moving at the same speed and in the same direction,” Ignis says. “Everything on Eos is orbiting the sun at the same speed and in the same direction, even the air, so there’s no sense of relative movement.”

He considers this. He wants to engage the mathematical element in his brain, but he feels – strange. And Cor is looking at him in a strange way.

“Oh,” he says. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” Ignis says. “Was that all you wanted to know?”

It’s not all. He wants to know so many things. But there’s still one thing that he wants to know so much, it hurts his chest.

“Is it dark at night because the sun is on the other side of Eos?” he asks.

There’s a brief silence. “Yes,” Ignis says. Another silence. “Did you deduce that by yourself?”

“I saw it going behind the ground,” he says.

“I see,” Ignis says. “Well. I applaud your deductive powers.”

He doesn’t understand what Ignis means. “Yes,” he says.

“Was there anything else?” Ignis asks.

“No,” he says.

“In that case, I will bid you good night and ask you to pass me back to the Marshal,” Ignis says.

He takes the phone from his ear and holds it out to Cor. Cor takes it and puts it to his own ear. He sharpens his hearing so that he can hear what Ignis says.

“Hey, Ignis,” Cor says. “We were watching the sunset. I guess he’d never seen it before. I should have realised.”

“Mm,” Ignis says. “I rather think we should be preparing some mental tests, as well as physical ones. I suspect he may have significant abilities of which we are unaware.”

“Agreed,” Cor says. He’s frowning again. “We’ll discuss it tomorrow.”

“Understood,” Ignis says. “Good night, Marshal.”

“Yeah, night,” Cor says. He takes the phone from his ear and puts it in his pocket. Then he just stands and stares at him.

He looks at the ground. He doesn’t know why Cor is staring at him. And then he does know why. Because, even though Cor didn’t tell him he had to stay by the rail, he didn’t tell him he could go anywhere else, either. But he did. He went somewhere else. Cor doesn’t look angry, but he thinks he probably is.

Cor’s hand lands on his shoulder, and he flinches without meaning to. “Hey,” Cor says. “Look at me.”

He looks up. Cor’s head is slightly ducked, and he’s looking into his face. “Did you come running over here just because you wanted to ask Ignis about the sun?” he says.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. He was right: Cor is angry.

Cor nods. He sighs, looking away from him for a moment. “Kid–” he says, then stops. He runs his free hand through his hair. “Listen,” he says, “I don’t–” Then he stops again.

He waits. He listens. He understands: he did the wrong thing. He knew it was wrong even when he was doing it. But he did it anyway. He doesn’t understand why. Except he really wanted to know about the sun, and the night.

“It’s not fair,” Cor says then. “I get that, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to say you always gotta just – do what people tell you. But–” He glances sideways, at the silent one. “If you want something, if you want to do something or go somewhere, you just gotta ask, all right? If it’s not dangerous, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you can do it. But you can’t just – do stuff without asking. I know it’s not fair, but – if people don’t know what you’re doing then – it’s not safe for you. You understand?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure what Cor means when he says it’s not fair. But he knows he shouldn’t have done what he did, and he feels a sinking in his stomach. Cor was pleased with him because the image he made was adequate, and now he’s performed poorly and Cor is disappointed.

“Hey,” Cor says. He squeezes his shoulder. “I’m not upset, OK? I get it. I wish it could be different. But I don’t want you to get hurt, kid. Not again. So – please, just ask, all right?”

“Yes,” he says again. He doesn’t know why he didn’t ask in the first place. He doesn’t know why he didn’t just wait until the next time he saw Ignis, or to look in the book. Why he didn’t just wait.

“All right,” Cor says. He looks calm. Not angry. But he knows he did the wrong thing. Cor told him it was wrong. He feels cold and heavy, like there’s a stone in his stomach. But at the same time–

–at the same time there’s something else. Not all of him feels cold and heavy. Some of him still feels disconnected, floating above the groud. Some of him feels – lighter than air, a strange sort of thrill as he thinks about it: the sun, Eos, the rotation. Everything is moving at an extraordinary speed. Him, Cor, the air, the buldings. He can’t feel it, but to know it – to realise that the sun never gets turned off, it just goes to the other side of Eos – it’s the first time he’s truly believed that Eos really is a rock hanging in empty space, because it’s the only thing that makes sense with what he just saw. With the sun falling behind the ground, and the night coming on. And now he looks up at the deep blue sky and imagines it: limitless, empty, with only Eos and the sun, circling, rotating, in perfect motion. He remembers how small he felt when he realised that the clouds were masses of water hanging in the air. Now, he feels truly as though he’s nothing at all. He’s nothing at all, and he could float away on the breeze. It’s exhilarating.

Cor’s hand lands on his shoulder, and suddenly he’s back on the ground again.

“Let’s go home,” Cor says.

So they do.

~

When they get home, he reads. He reads Wonderful World: A Children’s First Book of Eos Primoris Cognoscentia from the beginning. He learns many things. Most of the things are hard to understand, or to believe. But as he keeps reading the book, he realises that the things build on each other, that the more he learns, the more the things he’s already learned start to make sense. He learns: the space in which Eos hangs is not empty. It has many other rocky spheres (called planets) and balls of flaming gas (called stars), but they’re all very far away. At different times, the geometrical relationship between Eos and the sun is different, and this causes the temperature to be different on Eos. Time periods with different temperatures are called seasons, and they follow each other in regular succession. The changing temperatures have an effect on how much it rains, and on plants and animals. He hasn’t noticed any changes in the plants he looks after since he got them, so he thinks seasons must be quite long.

He goes to check the plants, just in case, but they all look the same, except that the red plant and the plant with yellow flowers are growing new leaves. They’re small, and paler-coloured than the bigger leaves, and he stares at them for a while, wondering if it’s possible to observe them growing. It gives him a strange feeling to think that those leaves didn’t exist when Cor first told him to look after the plants, and they’ve started to exist since then. He gave water to the plants, and they made new things exist. It makes him feel a sort of pain, but it isn’t unpleasant, even though it hurts. It’s strange. And now he wants to look at the plants, to see if he can see the leaves growing, but he wants to read more of the book, so that he can understand things better. He stands by the window, unable to decide.

Then there’s a knock on the door. It opens, and Cor looks in. He’s wearing his sleeping clothes.

“Still up?” he asks, frowning slightly.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “OK, well – go to bed. It’s late.”

“Yes,” he says. He turns away from the plants and goes to change into his sleep clothes. He leaves the book open so he can start reading in the same place tomorrow.

Cor stands in the doorway. He’s still frowning. He turns to look at him, wondering what Cor wants him to do.

But Cor just shakes himself and leaves, so he supposes Cor didn’t want him to do anything.

~

It takes him a long time to get to sleep. He feels as though his head is several times larger than it should be, filled with air and light and noise. It’s not very restful. But it’s interesting. He thinks a lot of things, very quickly, one after another. It’s hard to focus on any one thing, and hard to keep track of the things he’s already thought. He doesn’t think he’s ever thought so many things all at once before. He wonders if this is what happens when you know too many things. He wonders if Ignis feels like this all the time.

Eventually, he falls asleep. And when he wakes up, he’s standing on a black surface. It’s cool against the soles of his feet, and it’s not solid. The air is moving, and it ruffles the surface, causing droplets to break free. The surface extends in all directions, and overhead is nothing but sky, in a great, grey hemisphere.

It’s water. But he’s standing on it.

It shouldn’t be possible. But at the same time, it doesn’t seem strange at all. It seems natural. He doesn’t feel surprised. And then he turns around, and there’s another MT unit standing behind him. The other MT unit is also standing on the water.

“Hello,” he says to the other MT unit.

The other MT unit steps closer. The other MT unit reaches out and pushes downwards on his shoulders.

“This unit is malfunctioning,” the MT unit says. “This unit is malfunctioning.”

He begins to sink into the water under the pressure of the other MT unit’s hands. First his feet, then his ankles, then his calves disappear into the blackness. When he looks down, he can’t see them any more. It’s as if they’ve been cut off.

“This unit is malfunctioning,” says the other MT unit, leaning on his shoulders.

Yes, he is malfunctioning. He watches as his thighs disappear, then his hips. When he’s waist-deep in the water, the other MT unit kneels down. He looks up and meets the other MT unit’s eyes. The other MT unit cocks his head on one side and smiles with half of his mouth.

“This unit is malfunctioning,” the other MT units says, and transfers one hand to the top of his head, pushing down.

He sinks. His chest, his shoulders, his neck. His mouth sinks under the water, and he breathes water in. It feels thick and sticky in his mouth and throat. His nose sinks. He looks up and sees the other MT unit looking down at him, smiling.

Everything goes dark.

He’s malfunctioning. His breathing is malfunctioning.

He wakes up. He’s awake. He’s on the floor beside the bed he sleeps in. His head hurts. He feels cold and hot and wet and nauseated.

He sits up. He tries to get to his feet. But his legs feel weak. He finds himself kneeling on the floor. In his mind, he sees the other MT unit’s face. Smiling. This unit is malfunctioning.

He bows his head. Further, further. He presses his forehead against the floor. He presses his hands against his ears. There’s a hissing noise in his head. He wants to not be awake, but he doesn’t want to be asleep. He wants to disappear.

The door opens. There’s a footstep. Then a brief silence. Then more footsteps.

“Kid?” says the silent one. He kneels on the floor beside him. “Prompto? Are you OK?”

He tries to answer, but the word comes out as a sob. He’s crying, he realises. He tries to stop, but he can’t make himself. He’s malfunctioning.

“All right, I’ll get Papa Bear for you,” the silent one says. There’s more footsteps. Voices that he doesn’t sharpen his hearing to understand. More footsteps. He presses his forehead into the floor. And then there’s a hand on his back.

“Hey,” Cor says, near his ear. “Are you hurt? Prompto. Did something happen?”

He wants Cor to hold him. He doesn’t know how to make it so Cor holds him. He doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t know anything.

And then Cor pulls him up by the shoulders and puts his arms around him. He doesn’t know how Cor knew to hold him. But he’s glad. He’s glad. He doesn’t want to be awake and he doesn’t want to be asleep, but at least now things are a little better. It’s a little easier to be awake now.

“Are you hurt?” Cor says, his voice rumbling by his ear. “I really need you to tell me, kid. Please.”

He swallows against his aching throat. “No,” he whispers. He’s not hurt. He’s malfunctioning.

Cor’s grip tightens a little. “OK,” he says. “All right. Bad dream?”

“Yes,” he whispers. In the dream, he didn’t feel any kind of emotion. He watched his body disappear, and it seemed right. But now, he feels. He feels so much.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He presses a hand against the back of his head. “OK. That’s all right. I’m here now. You’re all right. I’m here.”

Cor’s here. He’s malfunctioning. Cor’s here.

He presses his face against Cor’s shoulder, and cries.

~

He cries for a long time. It makes his head hurt even more, but it makes him feel better, as well. It doesn’t make sense. But nothing seems to make sense now, in the dark, except that Cor’s holding him, and Cor will help him. That understanding feels like firm ground, like something he can’t sink into: Cor will help him. Even though he’s malfunctioning, even though nothing’s right and nothing makes sense, Cor promised he would help him. He grasps after it, and it feels solid.

Eventually, he runs out of tears. Cor keeps holding him for a while. Cor doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t say anything, either. At last, though, Cor sits back. He holds him by the shoulders and looks into his face.

“I’m sorry you keep having these shitty dreams, kid,” he says. “I guess your subconscious has got a lot of crap to work through.”

He swallows. His throat feels sore.

Cor glances at the window. “It’s getting light,” he says. “Not much point going back to bed now.” He looks over his shoulder. “Arcis, you got that water?”

A glass of water appears in front of him. He takes it. The silent one is there, standing beside them.

“You OK?” the silent one asks.

“He’s fine,” Cor says. “Thanks, Arcis.”

He drinks the water. Cor moves so he’s sitting beside him, both of them leaning against the bed. He puts his arm around him. They sit like that until he’s finished drinking the water, then a little more. Then Cor squeezes his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says. “You know you can come and get me any time you have a bad dream, right? You don’t have to just sit around in the dark on your own.”

He didn’t know. It seems strange. The dreams are frightening and unpleasant, but according to Cor they have no substance. Cor doesn’t even think they’re malfunctions. So why would Cor suggest that they were important enough for him to go and wake Cor up? He’s not supposed to go anywhere unless Cor tells him to. Cor said that to him the night before. So how can he go to Cor’s room? He feels so tired, and every thought just seems to make his mind tie itself into more and more difficult knots.

Cor waits for a moment or two. Then he sighs. “Well, now you do know,” he says. “Just – give yourself a break sometimes, OK, kid? If anyone deserves a break, it’s you.” Then he squeezes his shoulder again. “OK, time to get up. You’ll feel better once you’re dressed and showered.”

He doesn’t think Cor can be right, but once he’s washed himself, he does start to feel a little better. He stands in front of the closet in his room and looks at the clothes in it, and he feels a little better again. The closet looks so bright and cheerful now. It makes him remember the day before, and even though he’s still tired and his mind feels heavy and confused, the memory makes the weight in his stomach lift a little. He takes out the blue shirt with the fish on it and puts it on. Noctis likes this shirt, so if he sees Noctis today, he’ll be pleased. He hopes he does see Noctis today. He thinks that would make him feel better, too.

He finishes dressing, and then turns to go downstairs. As he does, he sees the plants, sitting on the shelf by the window. He leans down to look at them. At the new leaves the red plant and the plant with the yellow flowers have made. The leaves are growing right now, the plants making new material out of air and sunlight. The sun is a huge ball of fire, and it makes everything on Eos exist and grow. Even when he feels bad, even though he’s malfunctioning and even if he’s eventually terminated, the sun will keep burning and plants will keep making new material out of nothing but light and air.

He looks out of the window. It’s early, but it’s light outside and the sky is a pale blue. He can’t see the sun, but he can see the angle of the shadows of the buildings, and a short calculation informs him that the sun is about three degrees above the horizon. It’s been on the other side of Eos all night, and now Eos has rotated far enough that the sun is on this side again. This is what happens every day. For many, many days he was inside the facility, and he didn’t even know the sun existed, but there was still day and night, even if the light didn’t change. The influence of the sun even reached inside the facility, where there were no plants and the only living things were rats and MT units and a few humans.

He looks at the new leaves on the plants, and he thinks about everything – about the world. He doesn’t want to be terminated. He doesn’t think that Cor will terminate him. But there’s so much that has nothing to do with him. When he was in the facility, there was a whole world outside that was growing, where the sun was shining and the world was rotating and it didn’t matter that he wasn’t there. Water rises into the sky and falls out of the sky and rushes along the ground in the river, and birds fly and the air moves and plants make new material out of nothing but air and light. How long has it all been going on? He thinks it must be a very long time. Very much longer than he’s been alive.

He looks at the plants, and then he looks at the reflection of himself in the window. The shirt is a faint blue in the glass, and he can see the orange fish, almost like they’re swimming across his chest.

Cor was right. He does feel better.

Chapter 31

Notes:

OK, first of all, big apologies for not answering the comments on Chapter 30 yet. I have been super busy (sadly, super busyness shows no sign of letting up ;__;), and I decided you guys would probably prefer an update to a comment reply. But! I really appreciate all your comments, I love hearing from you, and I will try and get to at least some of those comments soon!

Second: more fan things! \o/\o/\o/

Rainbow drew a beautiful picture of Prompto witnessing his first sunset. He looks so peaceful and happy, even though he's in the process of realising that the clouds aren't on fire but the world is turning so fast that everything should fly off. Kid's got zen, I'll give him that much.

And ludaum drew a lovely scene of Prompto cuddling his encyclopedia, which makes me feel all cosy and d'awwww, he loves his books so much! ♥

Finally, a new type of fanthing! Viscountfrancisbacon made a soundtrack for the fic! It includes the Pixies and ArgentumVivaldi and therefore is the best of all possible soundtracks. Go ye and get on down to the MT groove!

Thank you to all the fanthing makers -- as always I love seeing your interpretations ♥♥♥

Chapter Text

When they’ve finished with breakfast, Cor sits at the table and stares at him.

“Listen, kid,” he says, “there’s a chance that – some stuff is going to happen today. To you, I mean.”

He wonders what Cor means. Things happen to him every day. Maybe it’ll be something different, like yesterday when they went to look at clothes. He hopes so.

“I gotta discuss it with Clarus first,” Cor says, “but we’re going to put you through some tests. We really need to learn more about how you work.”

He swallows. The soup in his stomach suddenly feels like a cold, heavy weight, and his throat feels tight. He doesn’t know why. It makes sense: there are always more tests. And – he performed adequately in the last test. So he shouldn’t be apprehensive. But he is.

Cor frowns at him. Then he raises his eyebrows.

“Hey, no,” he says. “No – shit – Prompto, I don’t mean like before. I don’t mean like – the test with the collar. I promised you that kind of thing was never going to happen again, right? I wasn’t lying. It’s not anything like that.”

He sits back in the chair. The weight in his stomach lifts a little. But he still feels nervous.

“Listen,” Cor says. “Listen – we’re just trying to find out what you can do, all right? So just – be yourself. And I’m going to be there, so nothing bad’s going to happen to you. And, hey, this is important. If you feel bad – uncomfortable, or in pain, or just pissed off – if you feel bad at all, you tell me, all right? You tell me, and then we’ll stop.”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t feel very sure, though. He’s never had a test where he’s permitted to ask for the test to stop. It doesn’t seem like it’ll be much of a test if he is.

“Yes, what?” Cor asks.

He opens his mouth to say yes, sir, but then he remembers that Cor doesn’t like it when he says that. Then he’s not sure what it is that Cor wants him to say. The nerves that were already buzzing in his stomach start to get worse, making him feel nauseated.

“I mean – tell me what you’re going to do,” Cor says. “That’s all I mean, kid.”

“Oh,” he says. He swallows. His stomach’s still churning. “I’m going to be tested.”

Cor’s mouth turns down slightly at the corners. “Right,” he says. “And what are you going to do if you feel bad?”

“Uh – I’m going to – say something,” he says. He feels bad already. It makes him feel bad to imagine interrupting the test. But he’s not being tested now, so he doesn’t think he has to tell Cor about feeling bad.

“Exactly,” Cor says. “That’s an order. Got it?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s a simple order. It should be simple. But he wishes he hadn’t eaten so much soup.

“Good.” Cor stands up. “Let’s go.”

So they go.

~

When they get there, Cor doesn’t take him to Ignis’ apartment. Instead, they go somewhere he hasn’t been before, along different corridors, and down a flight of stairs. They go through a door, and then they’re in a large room with a high ceiling. There are lots of structures and pieces of equipment in different parts of the room, and some empty spaces. It reminds him of the training facility. In one part of the room is a raised platform with rope railings around it. Gladio is standing on the platform in fighting stance. He’s not wearing a shirt, and he’s punching the air.

“Gladio,” Cor calls.

Gladio stands at ease and looks over, then swings under the rope railings and jumps down from the platform. He comes over to them, rolling his shoulders. The movement makes the images on his skin shift as though they’re alive. He stares. He’s never seen more than Gladio’s arms uncovered. Now he sees the images cover all of his shoulders and part of his chest. The part on his chest is an image of the head of some kind of organism. A bird? He thinks it’s a bird.

“Brought the pipsqueak, huh?” Gladio says. He grins down at him. “Sure you want to let me loose on him?”

Cor frowns. “Play nice, or I’ll let my boot loose on your ass,” he says.

Gladio’s grin widens. “Yes, sir, Marshal, sir,” he says.

Cor shakes his head. “Punk-ass kid,” he mutters. He puts a hand on the back of his neck. “You OK if I leave you here with this idiot?” he asks. “I gotta go talk to his dad about something.”

He wonders when Cor will come back. He wonders if he’ll be here in this room with Gladio all day, like he usually is with Ignis. The room looks like the training facility. He wonders if this has anything to do with the tests.

“Yes,” he says.

“OK,” Cor says. He squeezes the back of his neck, then drops his hand. “I’ll be back in an hour or two, all right?”

“Yes,” he says again, feeling relieved. At least now he knows the answer to one of his questions.

Cor leaves, then. Gladio folds his arms and looks down at him, putting his head on one side.

“You’re standing all wrong,” he says. “You been practicing what I told you? About the string coming out the top of your head?”

“No,” he says. He didn’t know he was supposed to practice it.

Gladio raises his eyebrows. “No?” he says. “It made you feel better, didn’t it?”

“Yes,” he says. It was difficult to maintain, but when he was doing it his body did feel better.

“So, then,” Gladio says. “You wanna feel better all the time, you practice. You don’t get nothing in life for free, kid.”

He’s not sure what Gladio means, or what it means to get something for free. But he imagines the thread, and tries to stand the way Gladio showed him.

Gladio watches him a moment, then nods. “Better,” he says. “Walk over here.”

He walks. Gladio watches him. Then Gladio moves his shoulders back and instructs him to try and feel taller. He walks again. And again. He feels taller. It’s strange. But it’s hard to try and remember all the ways he’s supposed to hold his body differently while he’s walking. And after a while, Gladio points at a treadmill.

“All right,” he says. “Let’s see you run.”

Gladio walks over to the treadmill. He walks behind him. He sees that the whole of Gladio’s back is covered with images. He sharpens his vision to see the details. It’s a pattern. Elongated shapes with rounded ends, fitted side-by-side in offset rows. Each shape has a line down the middle and angled lines extending from this middle line to the edge. The whole produces a complex pattern. It’s mathematically pleasing. It reminds him of something. He thinks hard, and then realises: it’s like the structures he saw on the material covering the bird, when he and Cor went to the lake. So the images on Gladio’s back are related to those on his front. All of it is a bird. A very big bird.

Gladio turns to look at him, then raises his eyebrows. One corner of his mouth turns up.

“Like what you see?” he says. He grips the wrist of one arm with his other hand and presses down so that his muscles bulge. It makes the images of feathers ripple as though air is moving through them. He stares at them. He wonders why Gladio has images on his skin. Are they part of his skin, or did he draw them on later? He wonders if any of the other humans he knows have images on their skin, underneath their clothes.

Gladio’s still half-smiling. Then he laughs a little.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he says.

He looks up at Gladio. “I don’t have a phone,” he says. He’d like to take a picture if he did have a phone, though. It wouldn’t capture the way the images move when Gladio moves, but he thinks it would be interesting anyway.

Gladio sighs and then reaches out and slaps his back. “We gotta start teaching you about jokes,” he says. Then he points to the treadmill. “Hop up. Glasses off, don’t want you getting steamed up.”

He takes his sunglasses off and gets on the treadmill. Gladio has him run for less than a minute, then stops the treadmill.

“Wow,” he says. “That’s a disaster.”

He stands still, looking at Gladio. He performed poorly – that’s clear enough. Running has not been a major part of his training before. He didn’t know it would be important later. He’s never had any instructions on the correct way to run. But now Gladio says he’s a disaster. He wonders if Gladio is going to tell Cor that he’s a disaster.

Gladio frowns at him. “Don’t give me that look,” he says. “I’m not gonna eat you.”

He doesn’t know what look Gladio means. He definitely didn’t think Gladio was going to eat him. It’s never occurred to him that humans might eat MT units. He mostly hasn’t thought much about eating at all. But he tries to look different anyway.

Gladio rolls his eyes. “OK, here’s what we’re gonna do,” he says.

Then Gladio gives him instructions. He has to remember to feel taller when he’s running, too. He has to put his feet more forward. He has to not bend forward too much. And a number of other things. Gladio’s instructions are long, but they’re very clear. Gladio shows him the incorrect posture with his own body, and then the correct one. And then Gladio reaches out and adjusts his posture when he tries to put it into practice. Gladio doesn’t shout or get angry when he gets it wrong, even though he gets it wrong a lot. He just keeps adjusting him. After a while, Gladio tells him to run, and he runs. He tells him to stop, and he stops. Gladio adjusts. He runs. He stops. It’s difficult. But the instructions are clear and Gladio doesn’t get angry.

“Huh,” Gladio says at last. “I think you’re starting to get it.”

His heart seems to rise in his chest at the words, and he tries even harder to follow all the instructions. But then the door to the room opens, and Cor comes in. He’s followed by the one from the phone, the one with the white coat, Ignis, and a new person he hasn’t met before. The new person has long black hair and she’s carrying a book.

He slows, and then stops. Cor comes across the room towards him, with the others following a little behind. The one from the phone is here. So now must be the time for the tests. His heart starts to beat a little faster.

“Gladio,” the one from the phone says. He gestures, and Gladio goes over to him. “Report,” the one from the phone says.

Gladio glances over his shoulder at him. “He’s not fast,” he says. “Could be, though, if he learned better posture. Good at following orders.”

Cor scowls at Gladio. Gladio shrugs. Then Cor comes over to him.

“You OK?” he asks. “Gladio treat you all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t really have a reference point, but Gladio was good at giving instructions and didn’t get angry with him even when he was a disaster. And even though the one from the phone told him to report, Gladio didn’t say he was a disaster. He just said he wasn’t fast. But he could be better. That’s good. He wants to be better.

Cor nods. He puts a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to ask you to do some things, now,” he says. “This is the testing I was telling you about. You remember what you’ve got to do?”

He nods.

“I gotta hear it from you, kid,” Cor says.

“If I feel bad, I’ve got to say something,” he says.

“Right,” Cor says. He lets go of his shoulder and steps back. He points at the raised platform. “Go up into the ring, would you?”

He gets off the treadmill and goes up to the raised platform. He climbs under the ropes and then stands on the platform. The others are all standing below, looking up at him. The one with black hair has her book open, and a pen in her hand. Ignis is also holding a book and a pen.

Gladio comes over and climbs under the ropes. He faces him.

“All right, Prompto,” he says. “Here’s what’s happening. I want you to try and hit me as hard as you can. I’ll try and block you. That’s it. Got it?”

He looks at Gladio. Then he looks at Cor.

Cor raises his eyebrows. “Did you understand what Gladio said?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “OK,” he says. “That’s the first test. Don’t worry, he won’t hit back. You’re not going to get hurt.”

He swallows. He opens his mouth and closes it. His stomach hurts.

Cor frowns and comes closer to the platform. “Kid?” he says. “You OK?”

He glances at the others. Then he speaks more quietly. Cor said he had to say something if he felt bad. So now he has to say something. And he wants to say something. He doesn’t want to hurt Gladio.

“What if I hurt him?” he asks.

He hears Gladio laugh quietly behind him. Cor doesn’t look like he’s going to laugh, though.

“Gladio’s pretty hard to hurt, kid,” he says.

He doesn’t say anything. Cor told him to say something if he felt bad. But he already said something and Cor didn’t stop the test like he said he would. So now he doesn’t understand. He knows how easy it is to kill a human with one blow, if you do it right. Even a big human, like Gladio. He doesn’t want to kill Gladio. But Gladio said to hit him as hard as he could.

Cor looks up at him, frowning. Then he nods.

“Don’t try to hurt him,” he says. “Just – try to knock him down. He can take a fall, I promise.”

The feeling in his stomach lets up a little. Yes. Knocking Gladio down won’t hurt him badly, not if he does it carefully.

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Cor says. “And hey – it’s good you said something, kid. You did good.”

The feeling lifts a little more. It’s good. He followed Cor’s orders, even though they seemed strange, and now he doesn’t have to hurt Gladio. So that’s good.

He steps back. He sees that the one with the black hair is writing in her book. Ignis isn’t writing in his book, though. He’s just watching him. He smiles a little when he sees him looking.

He turns back to Gladio. Gladio’s standing with his arms crossed across his chest. He’s smiling with half of his mouth again.

“OK, now that’s cleared up,” he says. “Give me your best shot.”

He nods. He engages the combat strategic and combat analytical elements in his mind. Then he takes up a fighting stance and watches Gladio carefully. He needs to learn more about how Gladio fights before he can decide on the best strategy. He knows he won’t be able to knock him down immediately. He wonders how many attempts he’ll be permitted. Then he suppresses extraneous processes, like wondering about things, and focuses on Gladio.

He throws a punch. Gladio blocks it easily. It’s no surprise: he used the most straightforward attack to gain information about Gladio’s capabilities. Gladio is strong and fast. He already assumed that was the case, but now the combat analytical element begins to quantify Gladio’s strength and speed. He throws another punch, deliberately aiming at Gladio’s right shoulder. Gladio catches his fist, grins at him, then lets him go.

The combat analytical element runs through a series of possibilities, feeding data into the combat strategic element. He ducks, sweeps his leg across towards Gladio, and throws a third punch. Gladio blocks, still smiling, but the move allows the combat analytical element narrows down its focus significantly. Before Gladio lets him go, he twists, slips inside Gladio’s reach, aims the heel of his hand upwards into his solar plexus – hard enough to surprise, not to kill – and then thrusts his fist into Gladio’s stomach, hooks his leg around Gladio’s knee, and jerks.

Gladio makes a surprised grunt as his feet leave the ground, and another one as he lands on his back. He steps back, instructing the combat strategic element to remain active in case of reprisals. Then he looks at Cor.

Cor’s staring at Gladio. Everyone’s staring at Gladio. Then, they all turn to look at him.

Gladio sits up. He looks at the one from the phone.

“Kid’s sneaky,” he says.

The one with the black hair starts writing in her book. Cor taps his fingers against his thigh. He glances at the one from the phone, and then looks back at him.

“OK,” he says. “Go again.” He looks at Gladio. “No more element of surprise this time, Crownsguard.”

Gladio stands up, shoulders back. “No, sir,” he says. He’s not smiling any more. He turns to him and nods. “Come at me.”

He squares his shoulders. He’s learned a lot about Gladio’s fighting style. But Gladio’s learned about his, too. Gladio’s human, so he doesn’t have combat elements. But that means he’s harder to predict. He has to be careful.

So he’s careful. He gathers more data, discovering Gladio’s blind spots. It’s relatively easy, because Gladio isn’t fighting back, just blocking; this means he can devote his undivided attention to offensive tactics and not concern himself with defence. Still, it takes him longer the second time, by seventeen point five seconds. Even while suppressing extraneous processes, some part of him is aware that it’s a poor performance.

Gladio lands on his side this time. The platform is soft and padded, but even so, Gladio’s weight make a loud thud. He hopes it didn’t hurt too much. Gladio gave him good instructions and didn’t get angry when he failed at his task. He doesn’t want to hurt Gladio.

He turns and sees that everyone is looking at him again. Cor and the one from the phone look unhappy. The one with the black hair is writing in her book. Ignis is just looking at him. He’s not smiling, but he’s not frowning, either.

Behind him, he hears Gladio stand up. He wants to say he’s sorry. He is sorry – for performing poorly. It shouldn’t have taken him so much time to knock down an opponent who wasn’t fighting back.

Then Gladio puts a hand on his shoulder and turns him around, so that they’re facing one another.

“Hey,” Gladio says. He’s not smiling. “If you were going to kill me, how would you do it? Show me. Slowly – don’t make contact. Just show me.”

He looks over his shoulder at Cor. Cor nods.

“Without a weapon?” he asks. It’s easier to kill people with weapons.

“Without a weapon,” Gladio responds.

He changes the parameters of the combat strategic element to unarmed kill. Then, he brings his hand up towards Gladio’s chest. He moves slowly, and Gladio moves slowly to block him. But this time, Gladio fights back. It’s not a fight, because neither of them are making more than gentle contact, and both are moving very slowly. But it’s as if a fight has been slowed down. Gladio fights back, and now he has to pay attention to defensive tactics. It’s slow enough that he can manage it, but even so it’s more difficult than before. Gladio has excellent hand-to-hand combat skills – certainly better than his own. He’s never performed particularly well in close combat. Even so, the combat elements work fast, and after some time of strange, slow fighting, he brings his hand towards Gladio’s eyes, and Gladio fails to block.

He stops moving, fingertips hovering in front of Gladio’s eyes.

“I would use your eye socket to reach your brain,” he says. “My index finger is long enough. It might not kill you, but you would be sufficiently injured that I could easily kill you some other way.”

Gladio stares at the tips of his fingers.

“OK,” he says. “I get that.”

He lowers his hands and turns to look at Cor. He hopes he’s performing adequately in the tests. Cor doesn’t look pleased, though. He opens his mouth to explain that he’s not well-rated in close combat, but that he performs well at long ranges. But before he can, the one with the black hair stops writing and steps forward, up to the edge of the platform.

“Prompto,” she says. “We haven’t met before. I’m Clementia. The King’s Shield asked me to come and observe you today.”

“Doctor Fortis,” the one from the phone says. The one with the black hair looks back over her shoulder at him.

“Yes, Shield Amicitia?” she says. “You did say I was permitted to ask questions, did you not?”

The one from the phone frowns and opens his mouth. The one with the white coat is standing next to him, and she whispers something in his ear. The one from the phone closes his mouth, then nods. He doesn’t look pleased.

The one with the black hair turns back to him. “Good, well, now we’re acquainted,” she says. “I wanted to ask you about that performance we just witnessed.”

He feels himself hunching his shoulders and tries to remember to feel taller. He hopes the one with the black hair isn’t too angry about his poor performance.

“Now, how did you know how to beat Gladiolus?” the one with the black hair asks. “You’ve been trained, I take it?”

“Yes,” he says. He accesses his training records. “I’ve received approximately ten thousand hours of close-combat training.”

The one with the black hair raises her eyebrows. “Really?” she says, writing something in her book. “That’s a great deal for someone your age.”

He doesn’t know what she means by your age. He doesn’t think he’s received an unnusually high number of hours of close-combat training. All MT units receive the same number of hours, unless they’re highly deficient. He’s never performed so poorly as to be considered highly deficient.

“How old were you when you started training?” the one with the black hair asks.

He doesn’t understand the question. He looks at Cor.

“He doesn’t have much of a sense of time, beyond days,” Cor says. He comes up to stand beside the one with the black hair. “Doctor Fortis wants to know when you started training.”

Oh. He understands. “When I was a level one,” he says. All MT units start training when they achieve level one.

“I’m not completely clear on it, but I think that means he was a toddler or a year or two older,” Cor says.

The one with the black hair looks sharply at Cor. Her face is turned away, so he can’t see her expression. Cor’s expression is neutral. “I know,” Cor says. He says it very quietly. “Don’t get upset, he’ll think it’s because of him.”

The one with the black hair turns back to look at him. She writes something in her book. Then she looks up. She’s not smiling, but she doesn’t look upset. “And I understand you have some – modifications?” she says. “Do they help you with fighting?”

“Yes,” he says. “I have combat elements.”

Cor raises his eyebrows. The one with the black hair writes something down.

“What does that mean – combat elements?” she asks. “Imagine I know nothing at all about MTs. How would you explain it to me?”

“I have a combat strategic element and a combat analytical element,” he says. “The combat analytical element analyses the opponents strength, speed, skill and tactics. The combat strategic element uses the data to construct a range of appropriate strategies and quantify the probability of success for each one.”

Cor stares at him. His eyebrows are raised. “Kid,” he says. “Seriously?”

He looks at Cor. “Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know why Cor thinks he’s not serious.

“Well, that definitely doesn’t count, then,” Gladio says from somewhere behind him. “No fair cheating.”

The one with the black hair is writing rapidly in her book. So is Ignis, standing a few steps back beside the one from the phone. Then the one with the black hair looks up. “Can you tell me how you experience these – elements?” she asks.

He doesn’t understand the question. He doesn’t experience the elements. They just are. He tries to construct an answer, but he doesn’t know where to start.

“Hey,” Cor says. “It’s OK. It doesn’t matter if you can’t.”

He shakes his head, relieved. “They’re elements,” he says, trying to explain. “The same as any other element.”

The one with the black hair nods slowly, tapping her pen against her chin. “You have other elements?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says.

“Doctor Fortis,” the one from the phone says then. “Perhaps you could ask these questions later? My schedule is tight today.”

The one with the black hair turns towards him. “Of course,” she says. “Please, do go on.”

The one from the phone nods. “Cor,” he says.

Cor reaches through the ropes and touches his arm. “Come with me, kid,” he says. “We’re going to do some more tests. Remember what you’ve got to do?”

“Yes,” he says. “I’ve got to say something if I feel bad.” He feels a little bad because he didn’t perform as well as he should have in the first test, but he doesn’t think that’s the kind of bad Cor meant, so he doesn’t mention it. He slips under the ropes, and Cor puts a hand on his back and walks with him. All the others follow behind. Cor doesn’t look back at them, so he doesn’t, either.

They go through another room, then into a much larger one. It’s not very wide, but very long. There’s a target set up about half-way down the room. Cor stops walking, so he does, too. Behind them, the others file into the room.

There’s a crackling sound, and then the one from the phone hands Cor a .22 calibre semi-automatic pistol. The one from the phone is looking at Cor with a very serious expression.

“I’m trusting you on this, my friend,” the one from the phone says. “I dearly hope you’re right.”

“I am,” Cor says.

The one from the phone nods. Then he looks up.

He looks up, too. There’s a balcony above, with glass windows. The daytime silent one is standing on the balcony. He’s holding the controller for the collar in his hand.

He looks back down at Cor, wondering why the silent one is on the balcony rather than in the room. The silent one’s holding the controller, so he assumes that means that if he fails the test, there’ll be some kind of correction. Then Cor holds the pistol out to him.

“It’s a target-shooting test,” he says. “Got it?”

“Yes,” he says. He feels relieved. Target-shooting tests are easy. He won’t fail, so he won’t be corrected. He takes the gun and turns towards the target, waiting for it to be moved further away. Nothing happens. He waits a few more seconds, then turns to look at Cor.

Cor’s watching him. Everyone’s watching him. They all look tense.

“Should I shoot it now?” he asks Cor.

“Yeah, kid,” Cor says. “Shoot it now.”

He turns back and raises the gun. He shoots the target. It’s not very far away. He thinks it’s a waste of ammunition, to test him on something so close that he doesn’t even have to sharpen his vision or bring up his targeting system.

“Again,” Cor says. “Go till you’re out of bullets.”

He follows the instructions. He shoots until the clip is empty. Then he lowers the gun.

“I’ll take it,” says the one from the phone. He holds the gun out, and the one from the phone takes it, almost snatching it out of his hands.

Cor presses a button, and the target moves towards them. There’s a single hole in the centre.

The one with the black hair frowns. “He only hit the target once,” she says.

Cor puts his finger through the hole. “Pretty sure he made this with the first shot and then shot all of the other bullets through it,” he says. He looks at him. “Right?”

“Yes,” he says. He hopes that’s what Cor wanted him to do.

Cor shakes his head. “Shit, kid,” he mutters. He’s frowning. The one from the phone is frowning, too. But Gladio slaps his shoulder.

“You use an element for that?” he asks.

“No,” he says. “It wasn’t far enough away to require enhanced targeting.”

Gladio raises his eyebrows. So does Cor. “You did that just – by yourself?” Cor asks.

He doesn’t understand the question. He doesn’t know how he would shoot a target any other way than by himself. “Yes,” he says.

Cor stares at him. Everyone stares at him. Then Gladio reaches out and pushes the button. The target starts moving away.

“Gladio?” Cor says.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to see if he can,” Gladio says. He holds down the button until the target is all the way at the other end of the room.

The one from the phone doesn’t look pleased. But after a moment where he just frowns at Gladio, he removes the empty clip from the pistol and pulls a new one from his pocket. He glances up at the silent one, then he holds the pistol out to him.

“The same procedure,” he says.

He takes the pistol and looks at Cor. Cor nods. So he turns and faces the target. It’s a long way away now. He sharpens his vision until he can see it clearly, then engages his targetting system. It’s relatively unchallenging, since they’re stationary and there’s no distractions or obstacles. It’s much more straightforward than a simulation.

He lines up the targetting system on the hole in the target, raises the pistol, and fires. He keeps firing until the clip is empty. Then he holds the gun out to the one from the phone. Gladio is already pushing the button to bring the target back. The one from the phone takes the pistol, and then they all turn to watch as the target comes closer. When it arrives, Cor puts his finger through the hole in the centre. It’s the only one.

“Guess that answers that question,” Gladio says.

The one from the phone sighs. “Cor,” he says. “We need to talk about this.”

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. He sounds tired. “Just – let’s get all the information first, all right? And let’s–” He stops, then reaches up and puts a hand on the back of his neck. “Let’s just get all the information,” he says.

He looks at Cor. Cor doesn’t look pleased. He knows he performed well in the targetting test. But Cor doesn’t look pleased. Cor’s hand is warm and solid on the back of his neck. He doesn’t think Cor’s angry. But he doesn’t look pleased.

“Well,” says the one with the black hair, “may I suggest we change venues?”

She turns and walks out of the room. The one from the phone follows, and Cor follows, too. He goes with Cor, wondering where the new venue will be.

It’s quiet as they walk. After a minute or two, though, Cor looks up at him and frowns.

“What about your glasses?” he says.

He remembers the sunglasses, and he pulls them out of his pocket and puts them on, then adjusts the focus of his vision to compensate. But Cor shakes his head.

“No, I mean – you saw that target. From a really long way away. Didn’t you need your glasses?”

Oh. He understands. “No,” he says. “My vision has repaired itself.”

Cor stares at him. He has the same expression on his face that he had after the close-combat test, and after the targetting test. The expression that doesn’t look pleased. He’s been looking like that for a while now.

He starts to feel like he did in the morning, when he thought there would be a different type of test. These tests were much easier than the one he had before, but knowing Cor isn’t pleased with how he’s performed makes his stomach hurt. He knew he didn’t perform well in the close-combat test, but he thought Cor would be pleased with his performance in the targetting test. He doesn’t understand why Cor isn’t pleased.

Cor frowns at him. “Hey,” he says. “You OK? You feel bad?”

He shakes his head. But he does feel bad. Cor told him to say if he felt bad. But that was only for the tests. But he wants to tell Cor anyway. He wants to ask Cor what he did wrong. Maybe if he knows what it is, he can perform better next time.

“I performed inadequately,” he says. He doesn’t want to admit it out loud, but he doesn’t think Cor will correct him. It’s strange, to talk to someone and not be afraid of correction. It feels like falling, to say the words out loud.

Cor frowns. “Is that what you think?” he asks.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. “I didn’t pass the tests.”

Cor stops walking, so he stops, too. Ahead of them, the one with the black hair and the one from the phone are still walking. Behind them, the silent one stops. He doesn’t know where the others are.

“Kid,” Cor says. He’s turned towards him, now. “That’s not what’s happening here.”

He frowns. He wants to ask a question, but he’s not sure which question will bring the most clarity. Before he can decide, Cor puts a hand on either side of his neck and ducks his head to look into his face.

“You did great,” Cor says. “You did great, kid. Come on.”

He feels – confused. But he wants to believe Cor. At least for the targetting test – he thought he passed that test. But Cor doesn’t look happy at all.

Cor sighs. “It’s just – not simple,” he says. “But I was impressed. I want to explain it – I’m gonna explain it, OK? I can’t do it right now, but I will. But trust me, you did great, all right? Do you trust me?”

He swallows. He considers.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor pauses, then. His eyes open a little wider. “Huh,” he says, like a breath of surprise. Then he smiles. It’s not a big smile – if he hadn’t been watching Cor, he wouldn’t have seen it, it comes and goes so fast. But it makes his stomach feel less painful.

“All right,” Cor says. He nods. “All right.” Cor lets go of him, then reaches out and rubs his head. “I’m gonna explain it. Later. I promise.” Then Cor puts an arm around his shoulders and starts walking again. He walks, too. It’s not straightforward to walk at first, because he and Cor are different heights, and with Cor’s arm around his shoulders, their sides are pressed together, and their legs aren’t moving in the same rhythm. But he adjusts his pace, and Cor does, too, and then they fall into step, and things get easier.

“You’re really something, you know that?” Cor says.

He doesn’t understand. Of course he’s something. If he wasn’t something, he would be nothing.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor laughs. And they keep walking.

Chapter 32

Notes:

OK, first, thank you to everyone who commented on Chapter 31! I hope to get to replying in the next few days, but right now I am projecting appreciation all over the internet ♥

Secondly, please all go and coo over this adorable picture of Prompto out in the wild with his terrible clothes, by dokidokiwaluigi! Also read the notes that go along with it, because I love the backstory of this picture. Man, that kid needs to meet a chocobo... Thank you so much to the artist! ♥♥♥

Chapter Text

The next room they go to is much smaller than the previous ones. There are windows high in the wall, and he sees that outside the sky is blue and grey. Inside the room there are four rows of tables with chairs on one side of them, and there’s a blank white screen on one wall.

The one with the black hair and the one from the phone are already in the room when he and Cor enter. The one from the phone looks angry. The one with the black hair smiles.

“Now, Prompto,” she says, “we’ve got a written test for you. If you could sit down.”

He looks at all the chairs. “Which chair should I sit in?” he asks.

“Whichever you like,” the one with the black hair says.

He hesitates. Then he sits in the nearest chair. He hopes this isn’t part of the test. He doesn’t know how to choose which chair he likes. All the chairs look the same.

The one with the black hair puts the papers she’s holding down in front of him. The top paper is blank. She puts a pen beside the papers.

“Well, I don’t think it’s necessary for all of us to sit and watch Prompto take the test,” she says.

“I’m not leaving,” Cor says. He feels a warm sense of relief. The one with the black hair has been pleasant so far, but the one with the phone makes him nervous. He doesn’t want to be near the one with the phone without Cor there too.

The one with the black hair looks behind him, to where the silent one is standing by the wall.

“Lacertus can’t leave,” the one from the phone says. “He’s assigned to the – to Prompto. However, I can see that it would be easier without a large audience.” He goes to the door, then looks back at the one with the black hair. “I’ll expect your report, Doctor.”

“Understood,” the one with the black hair says. Then the one from the phone leaves. He’s glad. He feels better when the one from the phone isn’t there.

The one with the black hair sits down. “We’ll give you an hour for the first part,” she says, looking at the clock on the wall. “See how many questions you can answer. If you don’t know the answer, you can leave it blank, or just give it your best guess.”

He looks around at Cor, who’s still standing. Cor raises his eyebrows.

“You understand the instructions?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says.

“All right, then,” Cor says. “Get started.”

He turns back to the paper. There are no questions on it, so he turns it over. On the other side are a number of questions, with space underneath each one to write the answers. They’re all mathematical, and he engages the mathematical element in his mind. They’re not very complex – the most complicated is to solve a second-order partial differential equation. He completes them all and then moves to the next sheet of paper. Here there are more mathematical questions, but they’re somewhat more complex. He takes a little longer to complete the answers on the second page.

He looks at the clock on the wall. Three minutes have passed. He wonders how many questions there are in total. Then he turns over the second page.

On the back of the second page are more questions. These are more applied mathematical questions, asking him to understand and model processes such as motion of a ball or a pendulum. He simulates this objects in his mind and allows the mathematical element to produce the required quantities. He completes the page of questions. He looks at the clock. Five minutes have passed since the beginning of the test.

He turns to the third page of questions. The questions here are not mathematical, so he disengages the mathematical element to conserve energy. Then he reads the first question.

Read the following short descriptions and then write down the first three words that come into your head, say the instructions. It’s an odd thing to ask him to do, but the instructions are clear. He reads the first description.

A picnic in a park on a hot summer’s day, reads the first one. He reads it again. He doesn’t know what picnic means, but summer is the word he learned the night before that means a period of time when Eos is tilted towards the sun and so is unusually hot. So it makes sense that a day in summer would be hot. He considers the instructions. What are the first three words that come into his head? He writes: park, summer, day. That makes sense. The words are in the description, and they’re the most important words, apart from picnic. He doesn’t know what picnic means, so he doesn’t write it down.

He reads the next description. Sitting in a stuffy room listening to a very boring lecture. He considers what are the most important words in the sentence. He still doesn’t know what boring means, but the word very is before it, which suggests that it’s important. He chooses room, lecture and boring. It makes him feel nervous to choose a word that he doesn’t know the meaning of, but he considers all the other words and he thinks boring must be more important than any of them.

He continues to read the descriptions. There are three more. None are as difficult as the second one, and he completes them more quickly. Then he checks over his answers to make sure he’s selected the correct words in each case. Then he turns over the page.

The question at the top on the other side of the page is longer. The instructions say: Read the following passage and then answer the questions. The passage is a paragraph long. It reads:

Rhetor and Stella are two friends who’ve known each other for five years. One day, Rhetor asks Stella to go out to eat with him. Stella agrees. After their dinner, Rhetor kisses Stella. The next day, Rhetor sees Stella on the street with another boy. When Stella next meets Rhetor, he refuses to speak to her. Stella cries. She says the other boy is her brother, but Rhetor doesn’t believe her. They don’t go out to eat together again.

He reads the passage twice. It’s confusing. He doesn’t know anyone whose name is Rhetor or Stella. He isn’t sure why he’s supposed to read this passage describing the actions of people that he doesn’t know. He’s never read writing describing what some people are doing before, except once when Ignis gave him SPIRIT OF THE HYDRAEAN PHASMA MARUM. He doesn’t understand what the purpose of the passage is. On the other hand, he knows all the words except friends, brother, and kisses, and that’s a relief.

He turns to the questions. The first is: How does Rhetor feel when he sees Stella with another boy? He frowns, then reads the passage again. The passage doesn’t mention anything about how the person called Rhetor feels at any point. He checks the question to see if he’s misunderstood. But it’s very clear. He doesn’t understand how he can answer the question with the information given. He thinks it must be related to the unexplained decision by the person called Rhetor not to speak to the person called Stella. But there’s no information about this decision, nor does the passage explain why the person called Rhetor doesn’t believe the person called Stella’s statement, or why she gives the statement in the first place. He swallows. He reads the question again. Then he reads the passage again. But he doesn’t know how to answer it.

He looks at the clock. Fifteen minutes have gone by since the beginning of the test. Maybe he can answer the next question and then come back to this one. So he reads the next one.

How does Stella feel when Rhetor refuses to speak to her?

His heart sinks. He reads the passage again. Then he sees the sentence: Stella cries. Yes. The clue is here. He thinks about when he cries. How does he feel when he cries? Or what feeling is it that makes him want to cry?

He writes Scared in the gap provided. Good. Then he reads the next question.

Why don’t Stella and Rhetor go out to eat again?

He reads the passage again, looking for a clue like there was for the previous question. But he can’t find any clues. The passage states that the person called Stella and the person called Rhetor don’t go out to eat again, but it gives no further information. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to answer the question when there’s insufficient information provided. None of the mathematical questions had insufficient information. The test doesn’t make sense.

Then he wonders if perhaps it’s a test to see if he understands whether or not the correct information is provided. It’s possible. After all, the one with the black hair did say he could leave the question blank if he couldn’t answer it, and it only really makes sense to give permission to do that if some of the questions are impossible to answer. He considers this, but he doesn’t like the idea of leaving spaces blank. But perhaps he could make it clear that he understands that the information is insufficient. He reads the rest of the questions. All of them ask what one of the people in the passage feels about something, or why they do something. The only question he thinks he can answer is Why do Rhetor and Stella go out to eat together? It takes him a moment to remember the correct word for the answer, but when he does, he writes, Because they are hungry. He’s not completely sure it’s the correct answer, but it makes sense that the one with the black hair would want to test him to see whether he can comprehend and reproduce the common vocabulary in this new setting. Hungry is a word he’s heard a number of times. It makes sense, even though the information is not given in the passage.

He spends some time considering the other questions to see if he can derive the answers through a similar process. But he finds that he can’t. Of the six questions, he can only answer two. He hopes that the other four are meant to be unanswerable. It seems like a lot of questions to make unanswerable. But he can’t answer them. He hopes that Cor won’t be disappointed with his performance. Cor said he was pleased with his performance in the other tests, but he didn’t seem pleased. He hesitates. Then he writes, Insufficient information provided in the gaps under each of the other four questions.

He sits and stares at the paper. Then he looks at the clock. Twenty-five minutes have gone by since the beginning of the test. He moves the paper to the pile of completed papers. There are no more papers. He looks at the clock again. Then he looks at Cor. Cor’s looking at his phone, but he looks up when he looks at him.

“You OK, kid?” he asks.

He feels nervous. He doesn’t like thinking about his answers to the last questions. Insufficient information provided. He sees it inside his head. He thinks it must be wrong. But he doesn’t know what’s right.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks at him. Then he looks at the papers. Then he looks at the clock.

“You done?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks at the clock again. He frowns. Then he looks at the one with the black hair. She’s standing up and coming over to the table. She picks up the papers and takes them back to the front of the room.

“I’m afraid my own grasp of math is quite elementary,” she says, pointing her phone at the first page of answers. “I’ll send these to a colleague who can check them for me.” She makes images of all the pages with mathematical questions. Then she looks down at them, frowning.

“Prompto,” she says, looking up at him. “You haven’t written down your working for any of these questions.”

He doesn’t understand what she means. He looks at Cor.

“Let me see,” Cor says. He gets up and goes to the front of the room. He looks at the papers. “Huh,” he says. Then he looks at him. “You’ve just written the answers, kid. You’re supposed to show your working.”

He doesn’t understand. He knows what working means, but he’s never heard it used like this before. It’s obvious that he completed the mathematical questions inadequately. His stomach starts to churn. He’d thought the mathematical portions were correct. It was the rest of the test he was concerned about. But now he’s concerned about all of it.

“Hey, no,” Cor says. He comes forward and puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’s OK. It’s not anything to worry about. It doesn’t mean you got it wrong.”

He looks up at Cor. Then the one with the black hair speaks.

“It’s just that I would have been interested to see the process by which you solved each of these equations, Prompto,” she says. “The steps you took to arrive at your answers.”

He looks at her. She looks back at him. Then she puts her head on one side and frowns slightly.

“Do you have – an element that assists you with math?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “I have a mathematical element.”

The one with the black hair nods and smiles. Cor’s hand tightens on his shoulder.

“Could you describe to me how you experience solving math problems with your mathematical element?” the one with the black hair asks.

It’s the same question she asked before. But he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t experience the mathematical element. It just is.

The one with the black hair is looking at him. She speaks again before he’s managed to formulate an answer to her question.

“I mean to say – for example, do you feed data to the mathematical element, or is it always present and behaving as an integral part of your mind?”

“No,” he says. “I have to engage it.”

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. She writes something down. “You do that consciously?”

“Yes,” he says.

“And then, when you look at a question like the ones on the paper – do you go through a process? Are there a number of steps you have to go through to get from the question to the solution?”

He’s beginning to understand what she wants to know. “Yes,” he says. “I engage the mathematical element. Then I look at the question. Then I write down the solution. So there are three steps.”

The one with the black hair writes again. Then she nods and looks up. “So you simply – know the answer as soon as you look at the question?”

“No,” he says. “Sometimes it takes a few seconds, if it’s complex.” He thinks about the test questions, and about what the one with the black hair seems to be interested in. “If it’s applied, I run a simulation,” he says. “Like – with the ball question.”

“A simulation?” the one with the black hair asks. “How do you run a simulation?”

“In my head,” he says. “To get the required quantities. I don’t need to run a simulation, but it’s usually faster and there’s lower risk of error.”

The one with the black hair writes something else down, then smiles at him.

“Thank you for telling me that,” she says. “I hope I can talk some more with you about your elements in the future.” Then she turns to the non-mathematical parts of the paper. She pauses, looking at them, and his heart starts to beat faster. But she doesn’t stop smiling. She just gathers up the paper and picks up her phone.

“Marshal, I think we should have a short conversation with the King’s Shield about these results,” she says. “I believe he’s waiting for us in his office.”

“Understood,” Cor says. “Come on, kid. We got places to be.”

~

They go to a place he’s been to before – twice before, once on the first night when he met Cor, and then two weeks later, just before he went to spend time in the room on his own. Cor leaves him there with the silent one, and goes away with the one with black hair. Cor says he’ll be back soon. So he sits. It feels strange, to sit here. He remembers the first time he sat here. It’s a foggy memory. So many things have happened since then. His life has changed so much. It’s so much better.

“Doctor Fortis, Cor,” the one from the phone says. He’s two rooms away. He sharpens his hearing to make sure he doesn’t miss anything.

“Well, I have the results,” the one with the black hair says. “And let me say first of all that Prompto has a – quite extraordinary mathematical ability. My colleague who devised the problems for him was astounded.”

“A modification of some kind,” the one from the phone says.

“It seems so,” the one with the black hair says. “He tells me he can access the – element, as he calls it, at will. I believe he can turn it on and off, like a machine.”

“He can do that with his eyesight,” Cor says. “Just – turn his eyes off. It’s – weird.”

“Yes, I was a little taken aback when I read that in his file,” the one with the black hair says. “It’s strange to us, certainly. But he doesn’t seem to experience it as anything noteworthy at all. It’s so well integrated into his system that I don’t think he conceives of it as anything different than his other senses. When he described to me how he solved the equations, it was almost like someone describing how they know the sky is blue. There’s no need to consciously analyse the wavelength of the perceived light and then match it with the linguistic construct assigned to that wavelength. All of those processes occur, but we don’t perceive them. I believe that something like this is how Prompto experiences his mathematical element.”

There’s a silence.

“How many of these elements does he have?” the one from the phone asks.

“That is a very pertinent question, and one I believe should be thoroughly investigated,” the one with the black hair says. “It seems Prompto is aware of some of them – perhaps even all of them. Marshal, given your relationship, if you asked him I’m sure he would give you a list.”

A pause.

“Yeah, OK,” Cor says. “I’ll ask him some time. What about the rest of the test?”

“Ah,” the one with the black hair says. “The other half of the test was to do with empathy, emotional intelligence, and creativity. It was designed to help us understand how Prompto’s mind works. Unfortunately, it seems to have been something of a failure.”

“How so?” the one from the phone asks.

“It seems Prompto didn’t understand the first set of questions at all,” the one with the black hair says. “The questions called for imagination, associative connections and creativity; the answers Prompto gave were devoid of any of these attributes.”

“That’s–” Cor starts. He sounds angry.

“Cor, please,” the one from the phone says. “Let Doctor Fortis finish.”

“I apologise,” the one with the black hair says. “I didn’t mean to imply that Prompto lacked those traits. I’m aware he has an emotional life – I’ve observed it for myself today. But now that I know more about him, I see that the question set was poorly designed to test someone of his – unusual background.” She pauses. “Marshal, what was it you were going to say?”

There’s another pause. Then Cor speaks.

“He has imagination and creativity,” he says. “He’s not a robot. He likes – nature, like plants and birds and water. He has nightmares that make him cry. He has imagination, just like any other human being.” He still sounds angry.

“Of course,” the one with the black hair says. “I don’t doubt it – and I would be very interested to hear about the things you’ve observed, Marshal, if you’d care to tell me about them some time. But I do think – the first question set failed because it was badly designed. But the second set was designed to test Prompto’s ability to infer the emotions and thought processes of others, and I think that it achieved that.”

“What were the results?” the one from the phone asks.

“It appears that Prompto has very little understanding of how other people think and feel,” the one with the black hair says. “His responses were – largely a request for further information, indicating that he was unable to recognise how people’s actions might be related to their emotional responses. The questions that he did answer similarly indicated a poor understanding of implicit social cues.”

“What are you saying?” Cor asks. He sounds even angrier now.

“I’m saying that I think Prompto has been very poorly socialised, and that his background is so different from ours that he is most probably almost completely unable to understand why we do the things we do,” the one with the black hair says. “It’s clear that he has emotions, but he may not understand them very well. And I suspect – he’s scared a lot of the time.”

A silence.

“Cor?” the one from the phone says eventually.

Cor sighs. “Yeah,” he mutters. “Sounds about right.”

He feels a pain in his stomach. The one with the black hair said he performed poorly on the last questions. And Cor agreed with her. Cor agreed. He performed poorly. He feels his throat burning. Even though he knew it was probably the case, that to fail to answer so many questions would result in a poor performance. He knew. But now Cor said it. He blinks. His eyes are itching. He rubs his nose. The silent one is looking at him. He wishes it was the night-time silent one. He swallows. His stomach hurts.

“You OK, kid?” the silent one asks.

“Yes,” he says. It comes out sounding strange. The silent one’s still looking at him.

“We need to talk about Prince Noctis,” Cor’s saying two rooms away. He tries to listen. Tries to ignore the pain in his stomach and the burning in his throat.

“Indeed,” the one from the phone says. “I would feel more comfortable keeping them separated until Doctor Fortis–”

Then the door opens, and he loses his ability to concentrate. Noctis walks in, wearing his blue clothes with the string round his neck.

“Hey,” he says. “Here you are. Specs didn’t know where you were.” He glances at the silent one. “Hey, Lacertus.”

“Your Highness,” the silent one says, sitting up to attention.

Noctis drops down onto the bench opposite. “What’re you doing here?” he asks, looking around. “Cor talking to Clarus, or something? Specs said you had a test.”

“Yes,” he says. His stomach still hurts. But it feels less bad now that Noctis is here. It’s strange.

“Excuse me, Highness,” the silent one says, “isn’t Gladio supposed to accompany you whenever you’re with–” He gestures towards him.

Noctis glances at the silent one and shrugs. “I went to look for him, but he wasn’t around,” he says. Then he looks back at him. “What kind of test was it?”

He swallows twice, and clears his throat. “Math,” he says. “And – fighting. And shooting and running. And – understanding implicit social cues.”

“Huh,” Noctis says. He looks confused. “That’s – a weird test. What is that, some kind of nerd pentathlon?” He leans back and spreads his arms along the back of the bench. “Bet you blew them away. I mean, we already know you’re great at math and shooting, right?”

His throat starts burning again. He doesn’t want to tell Noctis about how he performed so poorly in the last part of the test. How Cor said he performed poorly. He doesn’t want Noctis to know. But he can’t speak past the burning in his throat.

But he doesn’t need to speak, because Noctis speaks again. He’s leaning forward, now, looking at his chest.

“That’s the shirt I got you,” he says.

He looks down. He remembers putting on the shirt with the fish in the morning. It feels like a long time ago.

“Yeah,” he says.

The corners of Noctis’s mouth turn up. “You like it, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He does like it. Looking at it helps the burning in his throat.

Noctis smiles a little more. Then he puts his hand in his pocket.

“Hey,” he says. “I got you something.” He pulls his hand out of his pocket and holds it out. He’s holding something black – a strip of black leather. “Take it,” he says.

He takes it. The leather strip is bent in a circle and the two ends are fastened together. It’s black, but there are silver lines on it. He examines the lines. They form an image. It seems to be a number of skulls, joined together by lines that look like the covering on the image of the bird on Gladio’s skin. It’s strange, but intricate and pleasing to look at.

“Thank you,” he says.

Noctis looks at him for a moment, then nods.

“Aren’t you going to put it on?” he asks.

He looks back at the leather strap. He’s not sure where Noctis wants him to put it.

“It’s a wrist band,” Noctis says. “To cover your – you know, the barcode thing.” He scowls, then his face clears. “So you don’t have to wear the bandages any more. It’ll make you look super cool.”

He looks at his wrist, then at the wrist-band. It looks thick enough to cover the barcode. But Cor told him to keep the bandages on.

“I’m not permitted to remove them,” he says.

“Huh,” Noctis says. “Did Cor tell you that?”

“Yeah,” he says.

“OK,” Noctis says. “Well – I’m telling you you are permitted to remove them, so – go ahead and take em off.”

He looks at Noctis. He wants to do what Noctis says, so that Noctis will be happy. But Cor gave him an order.

“Seriously?” Noctis says. Then he sighs and gets up. “Fine.” He goes to the door through to where Cor and the others are and opens it. Then he goes to the next door and knocks on it.

There’s a pause, then the sound of the door opening.

“Hey, Clarus,” Noctis says. “Is Cor in there?”

“Your Highness, what are you–” the one from the phone starts.

“Cor?” Noctis says. “Oh, there you are. Listen, can you come and tell Prompto it’s OK to take his bandages off?”

“What’s this about?” Cor asks. Then a few seconds later, he strides through the first door, followed by Noctis, the one from the phone, and the one with the black hair. “Kid? What’s going on?”

He sits up. “Noctis wants me to wear this,” he says, holding out the leather strap.

Cor takes it, looks at it, then raises his eyebrows. He passes it to the one from the phone. The one from the phone stares at it, then looks at Noctis.

“You gave this to him?” he asks.

Noctis crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Yeah,” he says. There’s something strange and hard in his voice. “Is that a problem?”

The one from the phone hesitates. Then he straightens up.

“Of course not,” he says. He turns to him and holds out the strap.

He takes it and looks at Cor. The one from the phone looks angry, but Cor looks like he’s trying not to smile.

“Cor, the bandage,” Noctis says.

“Oh – yeah,” Cor says. “You can take it off, kid. Just make sure the tattoo’s covered.”

He nods. It’s good. Cor doesn’t mind, and Noctis will be happy. And the strap is beautiful, the silver lines winding against the black. He unwraps the bandage and puts it in his lap. He’s about to put the strap on when Noctis grabs his wrist.

“I just wanna–” he says, and turns his arm to look at the barcode. He looks at it for a long moment. He scowls again. Then he lets go.

“OK, put it on,” he says.

He puts the strap on. His arm is pale, and it makes the strap stand out. It makes his arm looks different. It’s interesting.

He looks at Noctis. The scowl is gone. Noctis is smiling now.

“Yeah,” he says. “You look pretty cool.”

He looks at Cor. Cor isn’t smiling, but he looks pleased. He steps forward and rubs his hand over his head.

“Yep,” he says. “Pretty cool.”

Noctis grins and raises his fist. He performs fist bump. The movement makes the silver lines on the black strap catch the light. It’s an interesting effect.

“So, you wanna go and play some King’s Knight?” Noctis asks. Then he looks at Cor. “It’s OK, right?”

Cor glances at the one from the phone. Then he puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Think I’ll come with you,” he says. “I need to get this kid something to eat, anyway.”

“Cor–” the one from the phone starts.

“We agreed no more tests today, Clarus,” Cor says. “We can talk about the rest later. Kid’s gotta eat. Doctor’s orders.”

The one from the phone nods. “Understood,” he says.

Cor gestures, and he stands up. It’s strange. He thought Cor would be angry, or at least not pleased. Cor acknowledged that he did poorly in the test. But Cor doesn’t seem angry. He even seems like he might be pleased. Even though Noctis helped the pain in his stomach, it’s still there, twisting. But now it twists less. Now he’s confused. He doesn’t understand. It’s what the one with the black hair said: he doesn’t understand why the new people he knows do things. Now Cor knows he doesn’t understand. But the result isn’t as expected. It feels like the result is never as he expected.

“Prompto,” the one with the black hair says. He turns to look at her. She smiles at him. “It was so nice to meet you,” she says. “I hope we can have a conversation soon. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

He looks at Cor. Cor puts a hand on his back.

“We’ll see,” he says.

Then he steers him out of the room.

Chapter 33

Notes:

It's aliiiiiiive!!!!

Sorry for the wait this time, folks -- life has been pretty busy since, ooh, late March, and it's been hard to get the time to get into Prompto's headspace. But here we are! And! What you've all been waiting for! Fanart!

Princess_Kurenai made this picture post which summarises the fic so far. (I think there's a name for these things? I've definitely seen them before but am Old and not on Tumblr, so I don't know what they're called. But it's a lovely summary, nonetheless!)

Ginkohs made a super adorable picture of Cor comforting Prompto after a nightmare. Cor looks like he's still half asleep, but he's still managing to make our boy feel better anyway. You go, Cor! Dadding champion! ♥

And Sirladysketch made this picture of Prompto holding one of his plants and smiling! At! Cor! Who is also smiling! Man, this picture makes me feel so warm. I love how they seem happy to be casually hanging out together ♥ ♥ ♥

On another note, somehow I managed to miss/fail to link a couple of pieces of art in the last chapter -- if you link art to me and I don't link it in the next chapter, please please just comment to remind me! Things slip through the sieve-like holes in my brain, alas :( And thank you to all the artists! Please go and shower them with praise :D

Chapter Text

When they get to Ignis’ apartment, Gladio and Ignis are both there. They’re sitting at the kitchen table, as though they were talking about something. They look up and watch them come in. Then Gladio frowns.

“Hey,” he says. “What the fuck, Noct? You know you’re not supposed to hang out with Prompto without me around.”

Noctis shrugs. “I only just ran into him,” he says. “It’s no big deal.”

“Crap,” Gladio says. “Tell me no-one saw you.”

“Sorry, Gladio,” says Cor, “Clarus was there.”

Gladio puts his hand over his eyes. “Fuck,” he mutters. “He’s gonna kill me.”

He feels his stomach twist. He looks at Cor. He knows Gladio has orders to be present when he’s with Noctis, but it hadn’t occurred to him that the penalty for contravention might be so severe. But – Cor won’t let the one from the phone kill Gladio, will he? He doesn’t know why he thinks Cor might protect Gladio, but he thinks it anyway.

“Cor,” he says. His voice comes out in a whisper.

Cor glances at him, then looks again, frowning. He frowns for a long moment, like he’s thinking. Then his face clears.

“Gladio didn’t mean that seriously,” he says. “It’s a turn of phrase. His dad won’t hurt him, so don’t worry about it, OK?”

He swallows. He doesn’t know who Gladio’s dad is, but from contextual data it seems to be a reference to the one from the phone. He doesn’t understand why Gladio would say that the one from the phone would kill him if it isn’t the case. But he’s glad it isn’t the case.

“OK?” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says. He goes to sit down at the table. Ignis starts to stand, then pauses.

“What’s that?” he says.

He’s looking at the wristband that Noctis gave him. Gladio looks at it, too. He reaches out and grabs his hand, turning it over. Then he whistles.

“You give him this?” he says to Noctis.

Noctis is still standing. He crosses his arms. “Yeah,” he says. “It’s mine to give.”

Gladio raises his eyebrows. Ignis is still staring at the wristband.

Noctis’ jaw clenches. “If you guys–” he starts, but then Gladio grins, lets go of his wrist, and slaps him on the back.

“I bet dad blew his stack,” he says.

Ignis pushes his glasses up his nose. “Yes, well,” he says. “I rather think that irritating Clarus is not an appropriate reason to give such a gift.”

Noctis starts to look angry. “You think that’s why I did it?” he says.

Ignis looks at him for a second. His mouth is set in a hard line. Then, suddenly, it softens.

“No,” he says. “I don’t think that. I wish you had discussed it with someone first, but – I don’t disagree with your choice.”

Gladio is still smiling. “Guess this means you’re part of the crew now, squirt,” he says. “Got yourself an upgrade.”

He understands all the words Gladio says, but the combination seems to be nonsense. He looks at the wristband. It’s important somehow. He looks at Noctis, then at Cor.

Cor sits down next to him. He takes his hand and turns it over, until the silver design on the wristband catches the light.

“See this?” he says. “That’s one of the symbols of the Royal House of Lucis.”

“Oh,” he says. He looks at it. He likes the way it gleams in the light. He wants to turn his wrist to see it shimmer, but Cor is still holding his hand.

“It means you’re affiliated,” Noctis says. “With me. So no-one can mess with you.”

He looks at Noctis. Then he looks at the wristband. He’s affiliated. Noctis gave it to him, so now he’s affiliated with Noctis.

Noctis suddenly shifts his weight. “I mean – unless – you don’t want it,” he says.

He looks back at Noctis. His arms are still folded, but now his shoulders are hunched. But he does want it. He wants to be affiliated. He liked the wristband before, but now he likes it even more.

“Yes, I do,” he says. “Thank you.”

Noctis’ shoulders come down. He unfolds his arms. “Cool,” he says, sounding unconcerned. “Figured you would.”

Gladio coughs. “We eating, or what?” he says.

So they eat.

~

Later, he and Cor go back to Cor’s apartment. He sits on the couch in the kitchen and listens to music with the music player. Cor sits at the table and looks at his laptop. After a while, Cor’s phone rings. He looks at it, then stands up and leaves the room.

He turns off the music and adjusts his hearing to listen to Cor’s conversation. It’s Ignis on the other end of the phone. That’s good. He likes listening to Ignis.

“–sent it through to you,” Ignis says. “From what I can see, you have nothing at all to worry about.”

“Yeah?” Cor says. “What’s the executive summary?”

“She’s highly qualified and has twenty-five years’ experience,” Ignis says. “She specialises in working with traumatised children and teenagers. From what I can tell, she has been a tireless advocate for such young people throughout her career, and has had a great deal of success. She’s also won a number of prizes.”

“Hm,” Cor says.

There’s a pause. Then Ignis speaks again. “Marshal – I do think that it would be useful for him to talk to someone. Someone with training in these – issues.”

“No-one has training in these issues,” Cor says.

Another pause. “I do understand your reservations,” Ignis says. “But if my own gut feeling – as it were – counts for anything, I found her to be quite acceptable.” He pauses. “Unless you think that you’re up to the task of dealing with Prompto’s emotional development by yourself?”

A silence. “Shit,” Cor says. “OK, Ignis. I got the message.”

“I’m pleased to hear that,” Ignis says. “Then you’ll consider it?”

“I’m already considering it,” Cor says. “I’ll let you know.”

After that, he ends the call and comes back into the kitchen. He doesn’t sit down at his laptop, though. Instead, he stands and looks at him.

He takes the ear connectors out of his ears. He looks at Cor and waits to see what Cor will say. After a moment, Cor sighs and pulls up a chair so that they’re facing each other.

“Hey – you know that woman you met today,” he says. “Dr Fortis?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “How did you feel about her? Did she make you uncomfortable?”

He thinks about the one with the black hair. He was uncomfortable during the test, when he didn’t know the right answers. And the one with the black hair gave him the test. But he didn’t feel uncomfortable just because she was there. No more uncomfortable than usual, anyway.

“No,” he says.

“You like her?” Cor asks.

He tries to decide, but it’s difficult. There’s insufficient data to make a decision either way. “I don’t know,” he says.

Cor nods. “You don’t dislike her,” he says.

“No,” he answers. He doesn’t really feel any way about her.

“OK,” Cor says. “All right.” He sits staring at him for a couple of seconds. Then he glances around the room. “We should get a TV or something,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He looks around, too. He doesn’t know what a TV is, but he hopes it’s not very big. There isn’t much space left in the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He gets up and goes to sit behind his laptop again.

A few minutes later, he picks up the laptop and comes to sit on the couch.

~

That night, he wakes up in Ignis’ apartment.

Ignis isn’t there. The sun is shining in through the windows, but nobody else is there. He’s never been in Ignis’ apartment on his own before. He wonders where everyone else has gone. He wonders why he’s there.

The door opens. An MT unit comes in. The MT unit is wearing a green shirt with yellow birds on it.

“You’re here,” the MT unit says.

“Yes,” he says.

“Good,” the MT units says. “It’s time to go.”

The MT unit walks over to him and takes his arm. He leads him to the window. It’s open. Outside is a ledge. There’s a railing around the ledge. The MT unit pushes him onto the ledge.

“Time to go,” the MT unit says.

He turns to look at the MT unit. “Go where?” he says.

“Anywhere but here,” the MT unit says. “You don’t belong here. You’re in the way.” The MT unit steps up onto the ledge. “Time to go,” he says.

But there’s nowhere to go. There’s nowhere to go from the ledge.

The MT unit turns him around, then puts a hand on the back of his head and tilts it, so he’s looking at the ground. It’s a very long way away.

“You should just go,” the MT unit says. “You’re in the way.”

He swallows. He doesn’t want to go anywhere. There’s nowhere to go. But the railing’s crumbling under his hands.

“It’s easier this way,” the MT unit says into his ear.

His foot slips. His stomach swoops. He falls–

–and lands. There’s no breath in his body, and his heart is beating in his throat. And he’s not – he’s not hurt. He’s not on the ground. It’s dark and he’s – in bed. He’s in bed. He feels like he fell into the bed, but he couldn’t have fallen, because – because–

–because it was a dream. It was a dream, dreams are normal. It’s normal, it’s normal. He’s not dead. He’s– He’s–

He scrambles out of the bed, half falling onto the floor. His breath is gasping in his throat. He feels – bewildered. He can’t make sense of anything. But he can remember one thing. Cor said if he had a bad dream, he could go and get him. And he wants Cor. He wants Cor to tell him it was a dream, even though he already knows it was. So he stumbles to the door and opens it.

The silent one is outside. He turns, frowning.

“Hey,” he says. “You OK?”

“Cor,” he says. His voice comes out sounding breathless. “Can I–?”

The silent one takes two steps to the door to Cor’s room. He knocks on the door. “Sir?” he calls. “Sorry to wake you, but–”

The door opens. Cor’s standing there, blinking and scratching his head.

He stares at him. “Cor,” he says.

“Kid?” Cor says.

He steps forward. He reaches out. He doesn’t know what he wants. He still feels half asleep. Maybe he’s still dreaming.

Maybe he’s still dreaming.

The thought makes his stomach turn over. He reaches out. It’s dark, and he reaches out into the darkness, and Cor is there.

Cor is there. Cor takes his arm. He puts an arm around his shoulders. “OK, let’s get you sitting down,” he says. And his arm feels solid. It feels solid and real. It’s the most real thing he’s felt since he woke up.

Then he’s sitting on a bed. It’s not his bed. He’s in the room Cor sleeps in. He’s never been in the room Cor sleeps in before. It’s dark. The room has the bed and a table by the bed, and a cupboard. There’s nothing else in the room. But Cor’s in the room. Cor’s sitting next to him on the bed, with his arm around his shoulders.

“You’re shaking,” Cor says. “Hey. It’s OK. You had a bad dream. Right?”

“Yes,” he whispers. He waits. He waits for Cor to speak.

“All right,” Cor says. “It was just a dream.”

Something loosens in his chest. Yes. It was just a dream. Yes. It was just a dream, and now he’s awake, and Cor’s here. So everything’s all right.

“You want some water?” Cor asks.

“No,” he says. He doesn’t want Cor to let go of him. He leans against him a little. Cor’s arm tightens around his shoulders.

“It’s all right, kid,” he murmurs.

It’s all right.

~

The next time he wakes up, he’s somewhere unfamiliar. It’s like the room where he sleeps, but not quite the same. The bed is harder, and the light is different. He blinks, then remembers: the bad dream, and going to find Cor. He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he doesn’t remember leaving Cor’s room, either.

He sits up. The room is empty. But the bed is wide and the other half is warm, the covers rumpled. Cor was here all night. And he didn’t dream again.

He brings his knees up towards his chest, still under the covers. He feels warm. He thinks if he’d been fully awake the night before, he would have been too scared to go and find Cor. But he went to find him, and then everything was better. So – that’s good. It’s good. He looks at the light falling through the chinks in the curtains. There are no plants by Cor’s window. There’s nothing in Cor’s room at all – not even an image hanging on the wall. He thinks about what he knows about where people live. He’s seen Cor’s room, and Ignis’ room, and the room where he sleeps. Ignis’ room has many more things in it than Cor’s room. Images on the wall, and books on shelves, and furniture. Cor’s room feels very empty. Only the bed feels warm.

The door opens. It opens quietly, like the person opening it is trying not to make too much noise. Cor steps through, carrying a mug in each hand. He pauses when he sees him.

“You’re awake,” Cor says.

“Yeah,” he says. He looks around. “I’m in your room.”

“You fell asleep on me last night,” Cor says. He puts one of the mugs down on the table beside the bed. “I made you some tea.”

He picks up the mug. It smells good, warm and fragrant. “Thank you,” he says.

“You’re welcome, kid,” Cor says. He stands by the bed, looking around. “Should maybe get a chair for this place,” he mutters.

“Yes,” he says. He thinks Cor should get an image to put on the wall, too. He didn’t understand the function of the image in his room. But now he thinks he does. The walls look very bare.

Cor sits on the end of the bed and sips from his mug. “Dr Fortis asked me if she could talk to you today,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. “She talked to me yesterday.”

“Yeah, but – she wants to talk to you more,” Cor says. “Just the two of you.” He frowns into his mug, like he doesn’t really want her to talk to him.

He’s not sure why the one with the black hair would want to talk to him without Cor there. “Does she want to test me again?” he asks. He wants to be prepared if there are going to be more tests. Maybe he can perform better this time.

“No tests,” Cor says. “She just wants to talk. Ask you some questions, but it’s not a test.” He looks at him for a moment. “Is that OK with you? If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, just – let me know what you want.”

He frowns. It doesn’t seem relevant whether he wants to or not. He thinks that Cor should be the one who decides. But Cor told him to decide. So now he has to decide. But he doesn’t have any data on which to base the decision.

“I don’t want to or not want to,” he says.

The corners of Cor’s mouth twitch upwards. “Gotcha,” he says. “OK, well – we’ll do it. Just once, and see how it goes. But if she upsets you or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can stop, OK? You don’t have to do anything that makes you feel bad.”

“Yes,” he says. Cor’s talked a lot lately about him feeling bad. He’s not sure Cor understands how often he feels bad. He doesn’t know why Cor thinks about it so much.

“All right, then, kid,” Cor says. “Time to get moving.”

So he gets out of Cor’s bed and goes back to the room he sleeps in to find some clothes. Inside, the light is falling on the plants by the window. He’s glad the plants are there. They change the way the room looks. The light catches on the silver design on the wristband Noctis gave him. He didn’t take it off in the evening, and now it gleams. He looks at it. It changes the way his arm looks. Affiliated. It makes him think about Cor’s room. Cor’s room isn’t affiliated to anything. It’s a strange thought. Why should Cor’s room be affiliated to anything? He thinks there’s something there, that he can almost understand something. But it slips away. And he doesn’t have time. It’s time to get moving.

So he lets it go.

~

They go to the towers with the purple light, but instead of going to see Ignis, Cor takes him to a different part of the building. He takes him to a room which has tall windows and images of people on the walls. In the middle of the room is a big wooden table with drawers in it, and the one with the black hair is sitting on the other side of the table.

“Oh, Prompto, good morning!” she says when they go in. She smiles at him. “I’m glad to see you again. And Marshal Leonis, of course.” She nods at Cor.

Cor puts a hand on his shoulder. “You sure you’re OK with this?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. Cor keeps asking him if he wants to talk to the one with the black hair, even though he’s already answered the question. It makes him feel nervous. He wishes Cor would stop asking.

“All right, well,” Cor says, squeezing his shoulder, “if anything happens – if you get upset or you feel bad – you don’t have to keep going. Just stop and come and find me. I’ll be waiting right outside. OK?”

“Yes,” he says again. Even though as far as he knows the one with the black hair is only going to talk to him, and there won’t be any tests, it makes him feel less nervous to know that Cor is going to wait outside. He wonders why Cor can’t just stay inside. But then Cor lets go of his shoulder and leaves, so he can’t ask.

The one with the black hair smiles at him. “Would you like to sit down?” she asks.

He sits down. The chair is on the other side of the table from the one with the black hair. It’s soft, covered all over in soft material, like the couches in Ignis’ apartment. He waits.

“Did the Marshal explain to you why I wanted to talk to you?” the one with the black hair asks.

“No,” he says. He hesitates. “He said it wasn’t a test,” he says, putting the tips of his fingers in his pocket to feel the paper he keeps there. Cor said that, and Cor promised he’d never test him again without telling him, but – Cor isn’t here. So he thinks it’s better to check.

“It’s certainly not a test,” the one with the black hair says. “My job is to help young people like yourself who’ve been affected by – difficult circumstances.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t think he understands. That doesn’t sound like a description of him, but she said like yourself. Maybe she’s received incorrect information. “I haven’t been affected by difficult circumstances,” he says. He thinks it’s better to make sure the information is correct now, before the one with the black hair wastes her time talking to him.

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “Then your life before you came to Insomnia – you wouldn’t class that as difficult?”

“No,” he says. He thinks about the training facility. It makes him feel like he’s swallowed something cold. “It was easy.”

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. She writes something down. “Well, it seems I’ve made some assumptions.” She taps the end of her pen against her lips for a moment, looking at him. “What about your life now? Would you consider it easy?”

He thinks about his life now. “No,” he says. Maybe that’s what she meant when she said affected by difficult circumstances. “It’s not easy.”

The one with the black hair nods. “Could you explain to me what it is that’s more difficult about your life now than your life before?” she asks.

He thinks about it carefully. He wants to make sure he provides correct information. “Before, there were always instructions,” he says. “So I knew what I was supposed to do. But now there aren’t many instructions, so it’s more difficult.” Ignis gives him instructions sometimes, which is good. But mostly he has to guess a lot, and it’s hard to know when he’s getting it right.

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “Hm. Then let me – ask a different question. Before you came here, to Insomnia, was your life pleasant?”

“No,” he says. He’s glad the questions are easy, even though it’s not a test.

“And what about now?” the one with the black hair asks. “Would you say your life is pleasant now?”

“Yes,” he says. Before, he didn’t even know it was possible for life to be like this. He thinks pleasant isn’t a strong enough word. But the question is easy, anyway.

The one with the black hair smiles. “Well, then. Let me rephrase. My job is to help young people – like yourself – who’ve been affected by unpleasant circumstances.”

He stares at her. He’s not sure why she changed the definition she gave. And – he’s not sure why anyone would have that as a job.

“Help them do what?” he asks.

“That depends on the person,” the one with the black hair says. “In your case, at this early stage in the conversation, I would say that I might be able to help you adjust to your new life. I imagine there’s quite a number of things you find confusing or difficult to understand – but please, correct me if I’m wrong.”

He blinks. Yes. There are lots of things he finds confusing. Almost everything. He didn’t realise there were people whose function was to assist with that. If he’d realised– “Yes,” he says. He presses his fingertips into his knees. He feels a sudden, fluttering feeling in his throat. Can the one with the black hair help him? It seems strange that she would help him. But if she can–

“We’ll start with that, then,” the one with the black hair says. “As time goes on, I expect the ways that I might be able to help you will become clearer. But before we go any further, it’s important that we lay down some ground rules.”

He nods. Rules are useful.

“First of all,” the one with the black hair says, “I will never repeat anything that you say to me in this room to anyone else. Not even the Marshal. That’s rule number one, and the most important of all the rules.”

It’s not what he was expecting. The idea seems strange. He doesn’t understand the purpose behind it. But it’s easy to understand the rule, at least.

“Rule number two,” the one with the black hair says. “No matter what you say, I won’t get angry with you, or think badly of you. If you like, you can imagine that all my negative emotions are turned off when I enter this room. You can say whatever you like to me, Prompto. That’s rule number two.”

This rule is even stranger than the previous one. The idea of a person who doesn’t get angry when you say something stupid or incorrect seems – impossible. The rule is easy to understand, but hard to believe in. But he nods. He understands the rule, at least.

“Rule number three is a rule for you,” the one with the black hair says. “If we’re to build a relationship, I need you to be honest with me at all times. If you don’t want to answer a question, that’s permitted. But please don’t answer dishonestly. Do you think you can follow that rule?”

He hesitates. He knows that lying is a contravention of the rules. But sometimes–

But she said he was permitted not to answer questions. And maybe he can– Maybe there’ll be a way to work around it. And if he says he can’t follow the rule, he thinks something bad will happen. Even if the only thing that happens is that she says she can’t help him, that’s bad enough. She said she could help him with all the things that are confusing and – he wants that.

“Prompto?” the one with the black hair asks.

“Yes,” he says, even though it makes his stomach feel unsettled.

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. She smiles. “Then I think we’re ready.”

He waits. He’s not sure exactly what they’re ready for. Maybe she’ll give him a book of explanations, like Ignis did. The books helped, but a lot of the explanations are still confusing. Maybe if he had another book, it would explain the explanations.

“Let’s start with something very general,” the one with the black hair says. She picks up a pile of paper that’s by her elbow on the table, shuffles it, and produces a folded piece. She opens it out and puts it in front of him. It’s a white piece of paper with black ink spilled over most of it. The one with the black hair taps it.

“Can you tell me what this makes you think of?” she says.

He looks at it. The question seems straightforward, but strange. “It makes me think of ink,” he says.

The one with the black hair smiles. “What about the shape of it?” she says. “Does the shape make you think of anything?”

He considers it for a moment. “It makes me think that – somebody spilled the ink on the paper and then folded it in half,” he says. “That’s why the shape has bilateral symmetry.”

The one with the black hair is still smiling. “Very perceptive,” she says. “But here’s what I’m trying to get at: sometimes, when people look at a pattern like this, it makes them imagine something – something that isn’t present in the ink itself. I’d be interested to hear whether this makes you imagine anything.”

“Oh,” he says. He looks at the ink. It just looks like ink. He tries to imagine something. He’s not sure what kind of thing the one with the black hair means. He was glad when she listed rules at the beginning, because he thought it meant there would be clear instructions, but now it seems like talking to the one with the black hair is just as confusing as talking to Cor or Noctis. He feels a sinking feeling in his stomach. He doesn’t think the one with the black hair will help him, after all.

“Are you imagining something?” the one with the black hair asks.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m imagining – if someone spilled the ink and then folded it differently, so there’d be radial symmetry. It would be difficult, because the paper is oblong and flat. But it would be more mathematically pleasing.”

The one with the black hair laughs. He looks up at her in surprise. He didn’t expect her to laugh.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a very interesting person, Prompto?” she asks.

He frowns. “No,” he says.

“Well,” the one with the black hair says, “please allow me the honour of being the first.”

“Oh,” he says. Then he thinks that the response is not appropriate. He’s not sure how to proceed. He doesn’t know how to allow the one with the black hair the honour of something. “Yes,” he says, hoping that it will be adequate.

“So,” the one with the black hair says, putting down her pen and folding her fingers together. “You find radial symmetry pleasing?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s glad she’s asking questions again. The questions are easy.

“Could you tell me some other things that you find pleasing?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. He thinks for a moment. “Plants,” he says. “And trees.” He remembers that trees are a type of plant, but they’re different from other plants so he thinks he should mention them separately. “The sky, and clouds, and the sun, and when the sun goes behind the – behind Eos. And rain. And lakes and – rivers. Birds, and fish. And music. And – soup, and milkshakes. And images. And – oranges. And fistbump. And–”

“Just a moment,” the one with the black hair says. She’s writing very fast, but still smiling. She keeps writing for a little while longer, then she looks up at him. “You must be pleased a lot of the time,” she says.

“Yes,” he says. It’s true. There’s a lot of pleasing things in the world. He didn’t realise before, but now he does.

“I’m glad to hear that,” the one with the black hair says. She looks at what she’s written, then up at him. “What about people? Are there any people you find pleasing?”

“Yes,” he says. “Cor and Ignis and Noctis. And Gladio and – the silent one.”

The one with the black hair looks up from what she’s writing. “The silent one?” she asks.

“The night-time silent one,” he says. He knows the night-time silent one has a name, but he can’t remember what it is. “He comes to Cor’s apartment at night and stands outside the door.”

The one with the black hair smiles. It’s a thoughtful kind of smile. “I see,” she says. Then she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. She just sits with that thoughtful look on her face. “Hm,” she says at last. “Maybe we can talk about that later. For now, I’d like to ask you about the Marshal – about Cor.”

He sits up a little. If the questions are about Cor, it’s very important that he gives the correct answers.

“How would you describe your relationship with Cor?” the one with the black hair asks.

He opens his mouth, then closes it again. He needs to make sure he gets the answer right. But – the question is difficult. Cor’s his commanding officer. But Cor told him he didn’t think of him as his subordinate. How can he not be Cor’s subordinate? If he’s not Cor’s subordinate, then Cor can’t be his commanding officer. But–

But he is Cor’s subordinate. Nothing else makes sense. He doesn’t know why Cor said he wasn’t.

“He’s my commanding officer,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods. “You don’t sound very sure,” she says.

The one with the black hair saw that he hesitated, even though it wasn’t for very long. And his voice – didn’t sound sure, either. Lately, it’s been getting more difficult for him to present himself correctly, with a neutral demeanour. It’s a problem.

“He – said he didn’t think of me as a subordinate,” he says. “But that doesn’t make sense. He’s my commanding officer.” He tries to sound more sure of himself. He thinks he succeeds.

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. She taps her pen against her lips. “Have you had other commanding officers, before Cor?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s had two: the commanding officer in charge of his regiment of level twos, and the commanding officer in charge of his regiment of level ones.

“And did you feel the same way about them as you do about Cor?” she asks.

He almost laughs. It’s almost unimaginable, to compare the two. “No,” he says.

“All right,” the one with the black hair says. “Do you think you might be able to describe what the difference is?”

He thinks about his other commanding officers. He can’t picture their faces. They’re just – humans, both in the same uniform. Giving orders. Watching to see how those orders are carried out. Issuing corrections. Thinking about them makes his stomach twist, and that cold feeling comes back.

Then he thinks about Cor. Cor’s waiting outside. He thinks about Cor by the river, showing him how to make stones bounce. He thinks about the paper in his pocket. He thinks about Cor putting his hand on the back of his neck. How solid it feels.

“It–” he says. But he doesn’t know the words. He knows the feeling, in his stomach and chest. The feeling when he thinks about Cor. But he can’t describe it. “It feels warm,” he says at last.

“Cor gives you a warm feeling?” the one with the black hair asks.

“Yes,” he says. He touches his chest. “Yes.”

The one with the black hair smiles. “Do you find that you generally have trouble giving names to your feelings?” she asks.

He looks up at her. “Yes,” he says. The one with the black hair knows a lot about him. He wonders how she knows so much.

“Well,” the one with the black hair says, “perhaps that’s the first thing that I can help you with, then. It’s a lot easier to understand something if you have the words to talk about it, after all.”

He nods. Yes. Yes, he wants to know all the names for the feelings he has. He has a lot more feelings now than he had before. Sometimes he wishes he could go back to not having so many feelings. But sometimes it’s good. It feels good.

“Hm, how shall we do this?” the one with the black hair asks.

He doesn’t know. But she doesn’t seem to want an answer. Instead, she takes a blank piece of paper and pushes it across the table.

“Could you write down all the feelings you know names for?” she asks. “Then I’ll know where the gaps are.”

Yes. That makes sense. It’s a good way to proceed. He takes the paper and thinks for a moment. Scared, he writes. Angry. Sad. Nervous. He thinks a little more. Pleased. He frowns at the paper. Happy, he writes, even though he thinks happy is the same as pleased. He starts to write frightened, but then he realises it’s the same as scared. He tries to think of other feelings. He writes hungry, and then bored, even though he still isn’t completely sure what it means. He considers whether pain counts, and then writes it down just in case. The list looks short, so it’s good to add more things. Then he can’t think of anything else.

“Finished?” the one with the black hair asks, after he hasn’t written anything for a little while. “May I see?”

He swallows and passes the paper back over. It’s not a test – Cor said it wasn’t, and the one with the black hair said it wasn’t, too. Even so, he feels nervous.

The one with the black hair looks at the list he’s made. Then she writes something down. Then she smiles at him.

“Well, that’s a good start,” she says. “Now, let’s think about the feeling you have when you think about Cor. It feels warm?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Does it make you feel happy to think about Cor?” she asks.

He considers. Happy is the same as pleased, or sometimes just means not angry or scared. So he thinks it does make him happy, but happy doesn’t seem enough. It doesn’t fit quite right on the feeling he has.

“Yes,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods. “And when you see Cor, does that make you happy?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. Again, it’s not the right word. It covers part of the feeling, but not all of it. His heart sinks. He thinks she’s going to tell him that the word for the feeling is happy. But that’s not right. He doesn’t think that’s right.

“When Cor’s not with you, do you sometimes wish he was?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. He wonders again how she knows so much about him.

“And do you enjoy spending time with him?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says, without really thinking about it. Then he stops and thinks. It hadn’t really occurred to him before. But yes. It’s good, spending time with Cor.

“Well, it’s always difficult to name other people’s emotions,” the one with the black hair says. “But from everything you’ve told me, I suspect that what you’re feeling is called affection.”

He blinks. He’d been expecting her to say happy. But she didn’t. She said affection. Now she’s writing something down and tearing it off the paper she wrote it on. She holds the scrap of paper out.

“Here,” she says.

He takes the paper. The word affection is written on it.

“As I said, it’s difficult for me to be sure if I’m correct, since I can’t feel what you’re feeling,” the one with the black hair says. “So I’m going to give you some homework to do.”

He doesn’t know what homework means, but it must be some kind of work. Yes. He wants to be assigned some work.

“I want you to research what affection means and decide if it’s the appropriate description for how you feel about Cor,” the one with the black hair says. “You can use any resources at your disposal. You can ask Cor if you need more resources. When you’ve decided, I want you to consider if you feel affection for anyone else.” She pauses. “Do you need more instructions?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. He puts the paper in his pocket – the other side from where he keeps the paper Cor wrote for him. The assignment might be difficult – he’s not sure yet. But the instructions are clear, and it makes some of the nervousness go away. The one with the black hair understands that she should give him tasks and instructions. It’s good. And – he thinks it would be good, to have a name for the feeling. To be able to understand all the new ways he’s been feeling. He doesn’t think he’s supposed to feel this many things. Maybe it’s a malfunction. But maybe – it’s a good malfunction. Some of it feels good.

There’s no such thing as a good malfunction.

Yes. He knows that’s true. But even so. Even so.

“Are you happy with that assignment?” the one with the black hair asks.

He puts his fingertips into his pocket and feels the edge of the paper. Affection.

“Yes,” he says.

Chapter 34

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

After the one with the black hair has given him his assignment, she tells him that it’s time for him to go.

“You’ve given me a lot to think about, Prompto,” she says. “I hope we might be able to talk again very soon.”

“Yes,” he says. He realises he hopes so, too. He needs enough time to complete the assignment. But once he’s completed it, he wants to talk to the one with the black hair again. She said lots of interesting things. And she knew lots of things about him. He thinks maybe she knows more about him than anyone else here, though he doesn’t know how. He wonders if she has access to his file from the facility. But he doesn’t think that makes sense. The things she knew about him weren’t things that would have been in his file. But he thinks – maybe she really can help him.

“Goodbye, then,” the one with the black hair says.

“Goodbye,” he says. He gets up and leaves the room. Outside, Cor is walking past the door. There are two chairs, and the daytime silent one is sitting in one, but Cor isn’t sitting in the other. He’s walking past the door. He wonders if Cor went away somewhere and just came back. Or if he was just leaving. But Cor said he would wait outside, so–

“You OK?” Cor says. He looks angry.

He swallows. What is Cor angry about? He’s only done what Cor told him to do. Why is Cor angry?

“Yes,” he says.

Cor steps towards him. He puts a hand on his arm, then on the side of his head. He looks at him with that angry expression.

“Sure?” he says. “She didn’t – say anything to you?”

He frowns. “She said lots of things,” he says. He thought that was why Cor took him there in the first place. So the one with the black hair would be able to say things to him.

“Yeah, but–” Cor says. Then he sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. “OK,” he says. “All right. It went OK.”

He waits. He’s not sure whether Cor’s still angry. He looks tired. Maybe he’s angry and tired at the same time.

“All right,” Cor says again. He says it very quietly. Then he squeezes his shoulder and points to the chair. “Wait here for me a second, would you, kid? If you need anything, knock on the door.”

“Yes,” he says. He sits down. Cor knocks on the door. He hears the one with the black hair tell him to come in. Then Cor goes into the room. He closes the door behind him.

The silent one looks over at him, but he doesn’t say anything. He sharpens his hearing so he can hear what Cor and the one with the black hair are saying.

“Marshal,” the one with the black hair says. “How can I help you?”

He hears a sound that he thinks is Cor sitting down. He thinks Cor is sitting in the chair he was in before. He can picture it in his head, now that he’s been in the room.

“I could do with a briefing,” Cor says.

“Briefing?” the one with the black hair asks.

“About what you talked about with the kid,” Cor says. “What you learned.”

There’s a pause. When the one with the black hair speaks again, she speaks a little more slowly than usual. “Well,” she says, “I’m afraid that’s against the rules of doctor-patient confidentiality, Marshal.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cor says. “You and I both know this is a special case.”

The one with the black hair coughs. “Special in some ways, certainly,” she says. “If anything, I see even more need for confidentiality given the unusual nature of the case.”

“Seriously?” Cor says.

He doesn’t hear the one with the black hair say anything in response.

“Listen–” Cor says, but then a phone rings.

“Excuse me,” says the one with the black hair, then “Hello, Clementia Fortis.”

He sharpens his hearing more so he can hear who it is on the other end of the phone.

“Dr Fortis,” says the person. It’s the one from the phone. “Have you completed your meeting with the boy?”

“I have, indeed,” the one with the black hair says.

“Good,” the one from the phone says. “I’ll need a briefing and access to your notes.”

There’s a pause. The one with the black hair gives a tiny sigh.

“I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” she says. “Our conversation was confidential, as per the usual procedure.” She says the words usual procedure a little more forcefully than the rest of the sentence.

“Doctor, I’m not sure you understand the situation,” the one from the phone says.

“No, I agree,” the one with the black hair says. There’s something about her voice that’s harder than it was before. “My understanding of the situation was that you engaged my services as a therapist to help a vulnerable young person. However, it appears you think you engaged me to act as a spy on that same vulnerable young person. Since I am not trained in that particular profession, and since it contradicts my personal code of ethics, I’m afraid I cannot supply this service. However, if you do, in fact, wish to engage my services as a therapist, I will be quite willing to continue.”

There’s a pause. He listens, holding his breath to make sure he doesn’t miss anything that’s said.

“You realise I can revoke your access to the boy?” the one from the phone says.

“If that’s what you feel you have to do, I can’t stop you,” the one with the black hair says. “Personally, I think it wouldn’t be the best course of action either for Prompto or for your own agenda, but I’m not a politician and I have to admit that I don’t always understand political decisions. One might even say that sometimes they appear irrational.”

There’s another pause. “And if it became clear to you that he was a threat to the safety of Lucis?” the one from the phone says.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “Yes. I would inform you of that.”

“I see,” the one from the phone says. He pauses. “We’ll discuss this further, Doctor.”

“I look forward to it,” the one with the black hair says. Her voice is very different from how it was when she was talking to him. Then there’s a quiet electronic buzz that indicates the phone call has ended.

The one with the black hair sighs.

“Apparently, no-one at the Citadel understands the idea of confidentiality,” she says.

“That was Clarus?” Cor asks.

The one with the black hair doesn’t say anything. Cor speaks again.

“You get that I’m asking for different reasons, right?” he says.

“I do,” the one with the black hair says. Her voice has changed again. Now it’s a little more like when she was talking to him. “My answer is still the same.”

“Come on, Doc,” Cor says. Then he doesn’t say anything else. He just sighs.

“Marshal,” the one with the black hair says, “just because I can’t tell you the details of what Prompto and I talk about doesn’t mean I can’t help you.”

“Yeah?” Cor says. “What do you think you can help me with?” He sounds tired. He’s seemed tired a lot today. He wonders if Cor didn’t sleep enough because of his nightmare and because he was taking up room in Cor’s bed.

“First things first,” the one with the black hair says. “Children and young people – even those with no history of trauma – need stability and routine. They need to understand boundaries and what their role is. For those with traumatic experiences in their past, this need is intensified. And for Prompto – for Prompto, I suspect it is stronger still.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Cor says.

“Oh, you understand that already?” the one with the black hair says. “Then can you tell me how you’ve been acting on that knowledge?”

There’s a short silence. “We do the same thing most days,” Cor says. “I take him to the Citadel. So that’s routine.”

“Mm,” the one with the black hair says. “Do you tell him what he’s going to do when he gets there?”

Silence.

“Then does he do the same thing at the same time of day when he’s in the Citadel, so that you don’t need to tell him what to expect?” the one with the black hair asks.

More silence.

“And does Prompto understand why he’s going to the Citadel, and why he’s living with you, and what his future in Lucis might be?” the one with the black hair asks.

“Fuck,” Cor says. “I mean – he knows some of that stuff. I – he just doesn’t get stuff, you know? He doesn’t – I don’t even know sometimes whether he understands. He says he does, but – I don’t know. And the future – I don’t know what his future is going to be. No-one knows that yet.”

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “Well, here’s what we’ll do. I’m going to prepare some recommendations for you. I’ll email them through when I’m done. We can discuss them, perhaps modify them. And we’ll see whether it helps.”

A pause.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He still sounds tired. “Yeah, OK.”

There’s the sound of a chair being pushed back, and then footsteps.

“Marshal?” the one with the black hair says.

The footsteps pause.

“It’s normal to feel like you’re out of your depth in a situation like yours,” the one with the black hair says. “It doesn’t mean you’re failing.”

Cor snorts. “Clarus didn’t tell me you were a mind-reader,” he says.

“Occupational hazard,” the one with the black hair says. She sounds like she’s smiling. “Look after yourself, Marshal. For Prompto’s sake, if not your own.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cor says. Then the door handle turns, and the door opens. Cor steps out. He looks down at him. “You OK, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. Cor always asks him if he’s OK. Sometimes several times in a short space of time. He looks at Cor. Cor looks tired. “Are you OK?” he asks.

Cor blinks. The silent one turns his head and looks at him. He thinks maybe he wasn’t supposed to ask the question. But – Cor said he was allowed to ask questions. And Cor looks – he looks tired.

Then Cor smiles. He still looks tired, but he looks better when he’s smiling. He reaches out and rubs the top of his head. “I’m good, kid,” he says. “Thanks for asking.”

He reaches up and touches his hair. It’s dishevelled. Cor made it dishevelled, so he must want it that way. He doesn’t understand the purpose of the gesture, but every time Cor has performed it, it’s seemed – good? Or at least, not negative. So he thinks that’s probably good. And Cor said he was OK, so that’s good, too. And he said thanks for asking. Thanks for asking. So it wasn’t just permitted to ask the question – Cor’s pleased he asked it.

There’s a lot of things he needs to think about. All the things the one with the black hair said to him, and the things she talked about with Cor and the one with the phone, and now this. He hopes that Cor takes him to see Ignis now so that he can sit and think for a while.

“Come on, then,” Cor says.

He stands up.

And they go.

~

They go to see Ignis. It’s good. Then Cor leaves. Ignis is busy writing at his table and doesn’t give him any instructions. So he sits on the couch and finds affection in Royal Lucian Dictionary. The definition is: a gentle feeling of fondness or liking; tender attachment, as towards a parent. He considers this. He thinks about the feeling he has when he’s around Cor. Is it gentle? Sometimes. Sometimes it feels strong. But it’s not violent, which is the opposite of gentle. So he thinks it must be gentle. Liking makes sense. He likes Cor. Fondness he doesn’t know the meaning of, so he finds it in Royal Lucian Dictionary. The explanation is: tender affection, which is unhelpful. He finds tender. There are several explanations. The first is: easily chewed; succulent. He frowns at it. It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t think an emotion can be described as easily chewed. And succulent is like a cactus. But he doesn’t think an emotion can be like a cactus. He spends some time trying to make this make sense. But then he realises that the other explanations are different. So maybe one of the other explanations will make more sense.

The second explanation is: painful or sore; sensitive to touch. He considers this. It doesn’t seem right at first. But then he thinks – he wonders. About affection. Because sometimes, when he has enough time to feel properly, the thing he feels for Cor is strong, and when it’s strong, it does feel painful in his chest. Not always, but sometimes. And he thinks about when Cor holds him or touches him and how it makes him feel warm. So – is that what it means? When someone touching you makes you feel that way, it’s because – you’re tender, so you’re sensitive to touch? But it’s not a bad pain. He still doesn’t understand why there’s good kinds of pain, but – perhaps this definition is the correct one. Tender attachment. Attachment is like affiliation. So it’s a way of feeling that makes you feel good pain sometimes and you feel it when someone you’re affiliated with touches you. But it doesn’t work for everyone you’re affiliated with, because he never felt it for anyone before he left the facility and came here, even though his previous commanding officers and other officers and medical staff frequently touched him. So he hasn’t quite understood it yet.

But he thinks he’s getting closer.

~

He thinks about affection for a long time. He thinks about Cor, and tries to capture the feeling in his mind. It’s difficult. He thinks about the new words he’s learned: fondness and tender. He thinks about the cactus and wonders how it’s connected. The feeling he has towards the cactus is different from the feeling he has towards Cor. But it’s still a feeling, and he thinks it’s even gentle, so – maybe it’s connected?

He finds the explanation for parent. It is: a father or a mother. He finds the explanation for father. It is: a male parent. The explanation for mother is a female parent. So that doesn’t help him to understand affection.

He starts to think that all the thinking he’s doing is only making him more confused. He wants to complete the assignment, but he’s not making any progress. So he thinks about something else for a while. He thinks about the things he heard Cor and the one with the black hair talking about. Both Cor and the one from the phone wanted the one with the black hair to tell them about what he’d said to her. But she didn’t. She said she wouldn’t when she listed the rules for their conversation. And then she didn’t, even though Cor told her to. The one from the phone told her to, as well. Both Cor and the one from the phone have high ranks. But the one with the black hair refused their orders. So – perhaps the one with the black hair has even higher rank? The idea makes his stomach twist a little. But she gave him the rules and then she didn’t change them. So that’s good. And she knew a lot about him. Maybe that’s because of her high rank. Maybe she has access to information that Cor and the one from the phone don’t have.

He thinks about what she said to Cor. That she would help him. That he wasn’t failing. That he should look after himself. He didn’t know Cor needed help. He’s sure that Cor isn’t failing at anything. He doesn’t think Cor would fail at anything. He doesn’t know why she even brought it up. He thinks it’s unlikely that Cor needs help with anything. He thinks Cor can probably do whatever is needed to fulfil his duties without any help. But she still said she would help him. And he didn’t say he didn’t need help.

He wonders what the function of the one with the black hair is. She said she wanted to help him, too. So her function is to help people. But that’s strange, that someone would have a function like that. Cor said she was a mind-reader. He knows both words, but not their meaning when they’re together. He assumes it must be the one with the black hair’s title. He turns back to Royal Lucian Dictionary and finds mind, then looks to see if there’s an entry for mind-reader. There isn’t, but within the explanation for mind there’s a separate section that says: mind-reader: a person who can discern what another person is thinking.

Oh. That makes sense. And he understands why the one with the black hair has such a high rank: being able to tell what someone else is thinking would be a very useful skill. He wonders what level of detail the one with the black hair can perceive. He tries to remember if he thought anything while he was talking to her that would make her want to correct him, or realise he’s defective. But – she didn’t correct him, or call him defective. She said he was interesting. No-one’s ever said that about him before. He doesn’t think he’s interesting. But she said that. And she didn’t correct him, even though she could tell what he was thinking.

A quiet ache starts to form in the back left corner of his skull. He’s no longer convinced that thinking for such a long time is a good idea. There are so many new things to try and understand, and he’s not sure he’s succeeding at understanding any of them. He swallows, and returns to affection. Tender attachment. He looks at his wrist. The band that Noctis gave him glints silver when he turns his wrist. Attachment is like affiliation. Does that mean you have to be affiliated to feel affection? He’s affiliated with Noctis, because of the wristband. Does he feel affection for Noctis?

He considers. He thinks about Noctis. He thinks it would be good if Noctis was here. Noctis isn’t here, because for most of the day he’s usually in a place called school. But if he was here, they would maybe play games on the phone. He thinks about how it makes him feel, to play games with Noctis. It’s a warm feeling. Yes, it’s similar to how he feels towards Cor. It’s not exactly the same. But he can see that it belongs to the same category. And – he’s affiliated with Cor. He doesn’t have a wristband. But he doesn’t need one. It’s clear that he’s affiliated.

“Prompto?” says Ignis. “Are you all right?”

He looks up. “Yes,” he says. He wonders why Ignis thought he might not be all right. He isn’t doing anything. He’s just sitting and thinking.

“You can read something, if you’re bored,” Ignis says.

He’s not bored. Or maybe he is. He looked up the meaning of the word, but he didn’t really understand it. But he doesn’t want to read something. He wants to complete his assignment.

“Are you affiliated with anyone?” he asks Ignis. He thinks he’s on the verge of confirming his understanding. The way that Ignis answers will help him to complete his assignment.

Ignis looks surprised. “Ah – yes,” he says. “I’m affiliated with Noctis, of course. With – the crown, I mean.”

He nods. It makes sense. Although he thinks that the proper way to phrase it would be that Noctis is affiliated with Ignis, since Ignis is higher-ranking.

“Do you feel affection for Noctis?” he asks.

Ignis raises his eyebrows. He coughs and then smiles.

“You must have had an interesting discussion with Doctor Fortis this morning,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He wonders why Ignis didn’t answer the question.

Ignis pushes his glasses up his nose. “Well – yes,” he says. “I certainly do feel affection for Noct. Sometimes he can be –” He shakes his head. “Well, anyway. But affection, yes, certainly.”

“Yes,” he says. So it makes sense. His understanding is correct. And – it’s good, because he’s also affiliated with Noctis, which means he’s affiliated with Ignis. Does he feel affection for Ignis?

Yes. He does feel affection for Ignis. It’s not quite the same as the feeling for Noctis, or for Cor. But all the feelings belong together. So it makes sense: he’s affiliated with Ignis, and he feels affection for him. He thinks he understands affection. It would be a good idea to look again the next day – to read the explanation in Royal Lucian Dictionary again once he’s had time to think about it at greater length. Unless he sees the one with the black hair again before then. She didn’t tell him how long he had to complete the assignment. But he thinks it’s complete now. It’s almost complete.

“Do you have any other questions?” Ignis asks.

He thinks there are probably a lot of questions he should ask. But his head is still aching, and he feels suddenly very tired of thinking. So he shakes his head.

“Well, in that case, would you like to help me with lunch?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. He stands up quickly, and goes over to Ignis. Ignis gives him a knife and a number of vegetables. Good. It’s good. He can focus on the vegetables and that will help him to not think too much.

He chops some carrots. Chopping helps him not to think as much, but he can’t help thinking a little. He thinks about Cor’s room. How the walls looked so empty. He remembers thinking it was unaffiliated. Is Cor unaffiliated? Who is Cor affiliated with? If he is unaffiliated, does that mean he doesn’t feel affection? It’s strange – until recently, he had never felt affection. But now that he has, he thinks it would be bad, to never feel that way. It feels good, even when it’s painful. It makes him feel – connected to people. To Ignis, and to Noctis and to Cor. Does Cor feel connected to anyone?

He doesn’t know.

He moves on to chopping onions. It’s less satisfying than usual. His fingers don’t seem to be working quite as well as they should. And his headache is getting worse. He frowns. He stops thinking about affection and focuses on holding the onion steady. He manages to chop the first one. But he’s halfway through chopping the second when his hand slips, and the knife scores across his thumb. He blinks at the black blood welling up, then frowns when another drop falls onto the onion from somewhere higher up. He still hasn’t managed to grasp the significance of this when the pain in his head suddenly sharpens and intensifies. His vision blurs and the knife slips sideways before his fingers loosen their grip. He thinks he’s cut himself again, but he can’t tell. He can’t tell anything, except – his head hurts. His head hurts. It hurts.

Somebody’s talking. He can’t see who it is. He realises he has his eyes closed. But it’s strange, because there seems to be light everywhere. It’s blinding and white. It hurts to look at. But he’s not looking. His eyes are closed.

It hurts.

Then: it hurts less. He’s on his knees, he realises. The surface underneath him is hard. He has his head down. His arms are up in front of him. Someone’s holding his wrists. His throat feels sore. His head still hurts, an echoing, throbbing ache. But the light’s gone. Now it’s just dark.

“Prompto?” says a voice. It’s Ignis. Ignis is in front of him. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” he says. His voice cracks.

“Oh, thank the Six,” Ignis says quietly. “Can you open your eyes?”

For a moment, he can’t remember how to carry out the command. Then he recalls enough to try. At first it doesn’t work. Then it does. He sees blurry whiteness in front of him, a blob of black, and two rounded shapes. He lifts his head as much as he can. The rounded shapes are connected to a person. They’re a person’s knees. The person is kneeling in front of him, holding his wrists. The person is blurry. But it’s Ignis.

“Good,” Ignis says. “That’s good.” He loosens his grip on his wrists, then lets go of them entirely. “Let me–”

Something touches his face. Under his nose. It’s soft, but it hurts anyway. He tries to understand what’s happening. Ignis is – holding something under his nose. What – why is Ignis–?

“Here, sit down,” Ignis says. There’s pressure on his shoulder, and then he’s sitting. Ignis is touching his nose. Squeezing it shut. He sits and stares at the floor. Ignis looks blurry. The floor look blurry. His head hurts.

“Hm,” Ignis says, after what might be a minute or maybe an hour. “I think it’s stopped.” The pressure on his nose goes away. The soft thing underneath his nose goes away. “Can you stand?”

He tries to get up. He falls down. Ignis catches his arm.

“I’ll help you,” he says. “Lean on me.”

He leans on Ignis. Then he’s standing. Or – he’s upright. Ignis is standing, and he’s leaning on Ignis. And they’re moving. And then he’s sitting. It feels like he’s on the couch. He realises his eyes are closed again.

There’s a hand on his forehead. Then it’s gone. Then there’s a rustling sound.

“Marshal?” Ignis says. Cor isn’t there, so he must be on the phone. He tries to sharpen his hearing to hear what Cor’s saying, but he feels a dead, heavy exhaustion and he can’t make it sharpen.

“I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m afraid Prompto has had some kind of incident,” Ignis says.

He tries to listen. But he feels like he’s sinking.

He sinks.

He sinks.

~

The next thing he’s aware of is someone talking. Cor talking. Cor sounds angry.

“That’s no use to me, Doctor,” Cor says.

“You can snap at me all you want, Marshal, but it won’t help me understand what’s going on,” says someone else. The one with the white coat. She sounds angry, too. And much closer. He thinks she’s sitting next to him.

“Marshal, perhaps you should let the doctor do her job,” Ignis says. He doesn’t sound angry. He sounds calm. Good. He’s glad Ignis is calm.

There’s a sting in his arm. He realises he’s not wearing his t-shirt any more. He opens his eyes to see where his t-shirt has gone. Everything’s blurry. The light makes his head ache. He tries to darken his vision, but it doesn’t work.

“Prompto,” Cor says. Suddenly Cor’s in front of him, grabbing his shoulder. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Don’t give me that shit, kid,” Cor says, at the same time as the one with the white coat says, “Does your head hurt?”

He looks from Cor to the one with the white coat. “Yes,” he says, unsure which question he’s answering and whether it’s the right answer. His thoughts are sluggish. His head hurts.

“Marshal, please,” the one with the white coat says. She sounds angry. “Could I have some space?”

He can’t see Cor’s expression. His face is just a blur. But Cor moves aside – not all the way, but partly. He keeps a hand on his arm.

The one with the white coat runs tests. They’re the same tests as always – shining lights in his eyes, asking him to follow her finger, asking where it hurts. It’s only his head that hurts. And his eyes, when she shines the light into them. His fingers hurt a little, and when he moves them he finds that they’ve been bandaged. He can’t remember what happened to them. He must have injured them somehow.

“Now that he’s awake, I’d like to take him for a brain scan,” the one with the white coat says.

So he goes. He lies inside the machine that scans his brain. The one with the white coat tests some more things. He feels tired. At one point, time seems to move in strange ways, which is hard to understand until he realises that he keeps falling asleep. Eventually, the one with the white coat says that they can leave.

“I can’t see anything wrong with him,” she says. “Give him painkillers and call me immediately if anything else happens. I’ll let you know as soon as the tests come back.”

So they go home. He doesn’t really remember the trip in the car. When they get there, Cor doesn’t guide him to the kitchen like usual. He helps him up the stairs instead, and then commands him to lie down, even though it’s still early. So he lies down. It’s good. It feels good to be lying down.

Then he falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, it’s dark. He feels better. His head still hurts a little, but mostly he feels better. He sits up and looks to see what time it is. It’s nine p.m. So it’s still early. Earlier than he would usually go to sleep.

He gets out of bed and tries to brighten his vision so that he can see to walk across the room. But his vision won’t brighten. The edges of things look soft and blurry. He looks in the drawer of the table beside his bed, and finds the glasses that Noctis got for him. He puts them on. Things come back into focus, even though it’s still dark. So his vision isn’t functioning correctly, like before. Last time, it was because of a bad connection. But this time there was no bad connection. His head just hurt, and then his vision began malfunctioning. He began malfunctioning.

He swallows. He doesn’t turn the light on. He puts the glasses away and lies back down.

He’s malfunctioning. But last time he malfunctioned in this way, nobody was angry. They wanted him to function correctly if possible, but when he didn’t, they found a device that would allow him to at least function adequately. The glasses are like – a non-invasive modification. To correct his malfunctioning. But it’s not a real correction, because it doesn’t hurt. Even so. Will Cor be angry that he’s malfunctioning, now that he doesn’t have a bad connection or any cause to do so?

He thinks. He thinks and thinks. Because – he thinks Cor won’t be angry. That’s what he thinks, in his heart. But his head thinks that must be wrong. It doesn’t make sense. But it does make sense. Because Cor doesn’t get angry with him for things like that. Or – Cor is angry a lot. But his anger doesn’t go anywhere. He just talks with an angry tone and frowns a lot. But he doesn’t shout, or require punishments or corrections. And even when he’s angry, he still – takes his arm and gives him soup and asks him if he’s OK.

So he thinks Cor might be angry. But even if he’s angry, he won’t correct him.

He stares at the ceiling. Then he stares at the window. The curtains are open. He can see the plants, outlined against the dim light from outside. He thinks about the plants. And what it means, to be affiliated. He wonders how the cactus fits in. He thinks Cor should have a cactus so that he would feel affection. He thinks that things in his head are starting to not really make sense.

He falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, it’s still dark. He feels strange. Cold. His feet are cold. And his arms.

He sits up. He’s lying on top of the covers. And – he’s wet. His hair is wet. And his t-shirt and pants. All of him is wet. He can’t see well because there are droplets of water on his glasses.

He’s wearing glasses.

He wasn’t wearing glasses when he fell asleep. Was he? No. No, he remembers. He took them off. He put them away. But now he’s wearing them. And he’s wet.

And the window’s open.

His heart speeds up. The window’s open. Who opened the window? It’s not supposed to be open. It’s raining. The water will come in.

Who opened the window?

He gets out of bed. But when he puts his foot on the floor, he feels pain. He stops. He sits on the bed. He lifts his foot up and touches it.

There are scrapes on it. On the toes and the sole. The skin is sore. There’s dried blood, and an abrasion.

He looks at his other foot. The skin is sore there, too. And when he lifts it up, his leg feels sore. He rolls up his pants leg, and sees that his knee is scraped. Some of the skin is peeling off. It’s not bleeding, but it’s scraped.

He puts his foot back down. For the first time, he notices that his fingertips hurt.

His throat is very dry.

He stands up and goes over to the window. He looks down. It’s a long way down. The outside of the building is made of rough stone. He leans out of the window and touches it with his fingertips.

He sees, perhaps a meter and a half below the window, a black stain. It’s too small to make out what it is with his vision malfunctioning.

It’s a long way down.

He steps back and closes the window. His heart is hammering in his chest. He doesn’t understand what happened. How he got so wet. It’s not just his head and shoulders. It’s his whole body. He can’t have left the room, or the silent one would have noticed. And there’s no source of water in the room. So he must have – He must have–

He must have been outside.

He sits down on the floor. He stares at the dried blood on his foot. He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember going outside. He doesn’t remember putting his glasses on. Is this a dream? He’s not sure. He wants to go and tell Cor, so Cor will tell him that it’s just a dream. But Cor doesn’t tell him that when he’s still dreaming. He tells him once he’s woken up. So – he needs to wake up.

He closes his eyes, then opens them again. Everything’s the same. He tries again. But everything’s the same.

He sits and waits. Eventually, he’ll have to wake up. He sits. He watches the rain on the window. He listens to his heart pounding in his head. He looks at the dried blood on his foot.

He doesn’t wake up.

Eventually, the sky starts to get light. And he knows: dreams aren’t like this. He’s never had a dream where he just sat and did nothing for hours. So this is most probably not a dream. He wants to go and tell Cor about it, so that Cor will tell him it’s just a dream. But it’s not a dream. It’s a malfunction. It’s a bad malfunction. It’s dangerous. He’s not supposed to open the window or go outside, but he did anyway. He can’t tell Cor. He can’t tell Cor about this.

He can’t tell anyone.

Notes:

Prompto deciding that Fortis is a mind-reader was inspired by BuffPidgey and her friends' chat, as pasted into the comments. Thank you guys!

Chapter 35

Notes:

Hellooooooo and thank you for waiting! First, and most important, ze art! This time, we have two artists who have drawn multiple pictures each, because they're just amazing like that :D

Heckthedamnart drew a terribly sad picture of Prompto crying by himself after a nightmare, which became all the more timely after last chapter's ending ;___; Poor Prompto looks so damn sad, I can't stand it! If you can't stand it either, then hurry over to this heartwarming counterpoint by the same artist, in which Noct teaches Prompto the peace sign and then takes selfies with him. Ahhhhhh they're so goshdarn cute, I can't stand this, either! I can't stand any of it! Argh!

Ahem. Meanwhile, sirladysketch has drawn four! Four whole pictures for this fic! Amazing! They are: the moment Cor first found Prompto, featuring a confused and frightened Prompto and a confused and... mostly confused Cor; Prompto's headshot for Niflheim's Next Top Model; Ignis giving Prompto soup and Prompto being somewhat sceptical; and last but not least, Prompto admiring his plants ahhhhh he's so cute ♥ What a fabulous collection!

Thank you so much to both artists -- please go and give them some love! And if you've linked me something and I've missed it, please just beat me over the head with it -- I'm in the middle of a big move and things keep slipping through the cracks... Hope you all enjoy the update! ♥♥♥

Chapter Text

The sky is fully light outside the window when he hears a noise. It’s a noise from downstairs – like someone pushing a chair back. From downstairs. The kitchen. The silent one is supposed to stay outside the door of the room where he sleeps, so that must mean that it’s Cor in the kitchen. But it’s still early. Usually Cor is still in bed when it’s this early. He’s been awake for a long time, and he didn’t hear Cor go downstairs. So Cor’s been awake for a long time, too.

Then he hears footsteps, crossing the kitchen floor, and he realises: Cor’s coming towards the stairs. Maybe coming upstairs. Cor might come into the room where he sleeps. And if Cor comes in, he’ll see that he’s not in bed. And he’ll see that there’s blood on his foot. And he’ll know that something happened.

He scrambles to his feet, heart jumping in his chest. For a moment, he doesn’t know what to do. Cor’s footsteps are coming up the stairs. Does he have time to get dressed? If he put socks on his feet, then Cor wouldn’t see–

No. The footsteps are almost at the top of the stairs. He doesn’t have time to get dressed. His mind is blank, filled with nothing but fear. But his body acts without thought. He dives onto the bed, under the covers. His hair is dry now. His t-shirt and pants are still damp. He pulls the cover up to his chin. He remembers the glasses and tears them off his face just as the door handle starts to turn. He doesn’t have time to put them back in the drawer, so he hides his hand under the covers. He closes his eyes.

The door opens.

Footsteps cross the floor to the bed. Then they stop. He tries to breathe normally. But he knows he’s not succeeding. His breaths are erratic. His heart is beating in his ears. He has to work not to crush the glasses in his hand under the covers.

Cor leans over. He feels the touch of a hand on his forehead. Then a hand on his shoulder, shaking him.

“Kid,” Cor says. His voice is quiet. He doesn’t sound angry. “Wake up.”

He opens his eyes. His throat is dry. Cor’s looking at him. He’s blurry, so it’s hard to see his expression. Cor touches his forehead again.

“You’re warm,” Cor says. “How’re you feeling?”

He stares at Cor. He can’t understand why Cor’s asking him how he’s feeling. And then he remembers: the pain, and the reason he was wearing the glasses in the first place. Yes: Cor’s thinking about what happened yesterday. It seems like a long time ago. Much more important things have happened since then.

“Fine,” he says. His voice comes out in a croak.

Cor gives a soft snort. “Expect me to believe that?” he says. He touches the wrist of the arm that’s not under the covers. “Your pulse is fast.”

Cor will find out. He’ll find out. He needs to stop Cor from finding out.

“I had a dream,” he whispers. It’s not true. He didn’t dream of anything. He didn’t see anything in his sleep. But he did things. He doesn’t know what he did.

Cor sighs. “Bad?” he asks.

He swallows. He nods. Somehow, he thinks it’s less bad to lie by nodding than by saying words.

“Sorry, kid,” Cor says. “I wish–” He pauses and sighs again. Then he puts a hand on his shoulder. “We gotta see the doc this morning. You OK to get up?”

“Yes,” he says. But he doesn’t sit up. He doesn’t want Cor to see that his t-shirt’s damp. That he’s hiding the glasses under the covers.

“OK,” Cor says. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he sighs again. “If you need help, Arcis is right outside the door,” he says.

Then he leaves. Normally, when Cor leaves, it makes him feel a little bad. But today it makes him feel better. It reminds him of when he was still scared of Cor. But he’s not scared of Cor any more.

Except now he is.

He closes his eyes. Everything’s gone wrong. He feels like he’s gone back in time. He doesn’t want to be back there, scared of everything again. But he did something. He did something when he was sleeping. So he has to be scared, now. Cor told him there was nothing to be scared about. But now there is.

He takes a deep breath, and gets out of bed.

~

When he goes into the kitchen, Cor jumps to his feet.

“You OK?” he says. He crosses the room to stand beside him, holding his arm. “Arcis should have helped you down the stairs.”

“I don’t need help,” he says. He doesn’t: whatever happened to him yesterday, his body seems to have recovered, with the exception of a quiet ache in his head. And the visual malfunction.

Cor’s frowning now, looking at his face. “Glasses?” he says. “Your eyes go – weird again?”

He reaches up and touches the glasses. “Yes,” he says. “My vision is malfunctioning.”

“Since when?” Cor asks.

“This morning,” he says. “Or – yesterday. I think.”

Cor nods. He’s still frowning. “OK,” he says. He stares at him. But he doesn’t seem to be looking at him. He’s looking at something else, something beyond him. And frowning. He looks tired. Even more tired than he did the day before.

He stands, not sure what to do. But after a moment, Cor focuses on him again.

“Breakfast,” he says. “Then the doctor wants to see you.”

~

After breakfast, they go to see the one in the white coat. She tests him in all the usual ways. It feels – normal. He’s done this lots of times before. The memory of waking up in the night recedes. It feels less real, now that it’s daytime and he’s with Cor and nothing bad is happening. Everything seems normal.

He knows it was real, though. Every now and then, an image of it appears in his mind: waking in the dark, his clothes wet, his feet bloody. It makes his stomach lurch with adrenaline. It was real.

While the one in the white coat is testing him, Cor’s phone rings. Cor looks at it, then leaves the room. He sharpens his hearing so he can hear Cor’s conversation.

“Doc,” Cor says. “What do you need?”

“Marshal,” the person on the other end of the phone says. It’s the one with the black hair. “I’ve just heard from Shield Amicitia that Prompto had – some kind of attack? Is he all right?”

Cor sighs. “Yeah,” he says. “At least – I don’t know. He’s upright and talking. He’s with the doctor now. We have no idea what caused it.”

“Oh, I’m so relieved,” the one with the black hair says. “From what the Shield said it seemed very serious.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Cor says. “Like I say, right now it’s just – we just don’t know what happened. Everything’s just – always difficult with this kid.”

He swallows. He doesn’t want to make Cor sound like that. But Cor does sound like that.

“Well, you have thrown yourself in at the deep end, Marshal,” the one with the black hair says. “But perhaps I can help with that. I presume you were too concerned with Prompto’s health to look at the recommendations I sent you?”

“Huh?” Cor says. “Oh – yeah, I haven’t even opened the email. Hang on.” There’s a pause. “OK – huh. You think that’ll help?”

“I hope it will help both of you,” the one with the black hair says. “Although it will require serious commitment from you.”

“Believe me, I’m committed,” Cor says. Another pause. “OK. It’ll take some organising and – definitely some manpower, but – if it’ll help. I just want to help the kid.”

When the one with the black hair speaks again, it sounds like she’s smiling. “Well, that’s an excellent start,” she says. “But of course, Prompto’s health must come first.”

“Yeah – yeah,” Cor says. His voice falls again. “I’d better get back.”

“If he’s truly recovered, I wonder if I might see him tomorrow?” the one with the black hair says. “I think we still have a lot to talk about.”

“We’ll see,” Cor says, then, “I’ll ask him. If the doc says he’s better, I’ll ask him.”

“Thank you, Marshal,” the one with the black hair says. Then the call ends.

He sits back. The one with the white coat is looking at something on a computer, so there’s nothing to distract him. He thinks about what Cor said. He hopes Cor will let him talk to the one with the black hair. Last time he talked to her, it was – good, it was useful. And now he’s almost completed his assignment. He’ll definitely have completed it by tomorrow. So he’s ready to see her again. And she made Cor sound less – bad, for a few moments. So that’s good, too. He doesn’t like it when Cor sounds bad.

The door opens and Cor comes in. He puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes.

“Everything OK in here?” he says.

“Mm,” the one in the white coat says. She’s staring at the computer screen and frowning. “Marshal, a word.”

Cor looks at her, then at him. “Sorry, kid,” he says. “Can you wait outside with Arcis for a minute?”

“Yes,” he says. He gets up and goes outside. The silent one is sitting on a chair outside the door. He stands up and gestures to it.

“Invalid gets priority,” he says.

He doesn’t know the word invalid, but he sits down. He sharpens his hearing again. He’s glad his hearing doesn’t seem to be malfunctioning like his vision. He doesn’t like the idea of not knowing what people are saying.

“You figure something out?” Cor asks on the other side of the wall.

The one in the white coat sighs. “Perhaps,” she says. “There’s a lot of conjecture – listen. I sent Prompto’s blood for testing when he first arrived here. The lab found that about two-thirds of his blood was human, and the other third was similar to daemon blood.”

“Only a third?” Cor says.

“That’s right,” the one in the white coat says. “It seems that when the two are mixed together, they form a substance not entirely like either of the components. And a little daemon blood clearly goes a long way.”

A pause. “OK,” Cor says. He doesn’t sound very happy. “What’s your point?”

“I drew blood from him again yesterday and had the lab put a rush on it,” the one in the white coat says. “I just received the results. Prompto’s blood is now 86 percent human and 14 percent foreign.”

“Huh,” Cor says. “So – what? How does that work?”

“Cells in the body constantly die, and the body synthesises new cells to replace them,” the one in the white coat says. “If Prompto’s body is only capable of synthesising human blood cells, then the proportion of human blood in his system will increase over time, unless something is done to counteract it.”

“Something like… injections? Like daemon blood injections? You think they were doing that to him?” Cor asks. His voice is rising.

“It certainly seems possible,” the one in the white coat says. “Prompto may be able to tell us. But here’s the point, Marshal: I suspect that the daemon blood acts as some kind of catalyst or interface, allowing his mechanical systems to interact with his biological systems. If I’m right, that’s why his vision is becoming unreliable: the amount of daemon blood in his system is no longer sufficient to keep that system working properly.”

There’s a pause. “You got any evidence for that?” Cor asks.

“Not really, aside from correlation,” the one in the white coat says. “But the two things that we know to be different about Prompto are the blood, and the presence of non-biological systems. If the blood has no purpose, then why transfuse him in the first place?”

Another pause. Longer this time. “OK,” Cor says. “So – that’s good. He’s getting back to normal. Eventually all the daemon blood will be gone, and then he’ll just be – normal, a normal kid. No more being able to – shut his heart down, or whatever. That’s what you’re saying, right?”

“I’m not saying anything as yet,” the one in the white coat says. “It may be good. Or it may be very dangerous. We don’t know how Prompto’s systems will react. We must be prepared for either possibility.”

“Yeah,” Cor says. Then he says it again, quietly. “Yeah. But – maybe he could just be normal. All the shit they did to him – he’d just get better.”

“As I said, it’s too early to tell,” the one in the white coat says. “At any rate, this morning he seems fine. But keep a close eye on him.”

“Believe me, I will,” Cor says. “Thanks, doc.” And now he sounds – lighter. Much lighter than he did earlier, when he said Everything’s difficult with this kid.

The door opens. Cor comes out. He still looks tired. But he smiles at him. “Got the all clear, kiddo,” he says. Then he reaches out and performs the rubbing gesture on his head. “Want to go see Ignis?”

“Yes,” he says. He does want to see Ignis. And he wants Cor to keep smiling. He stands up and Cor puts an arm around his shoulders. It’s good. This morning, Cor wasn’t pleased like this. Even a few minutes ago. But now he is. He thinks about what happened – what changed. The one in the white coat said that if he doesn’t have any more treatments, all his systems will malfunction. And then Cor was pleased. Cor said he could be normal. He doesn’t think he’ll be normal if all his systems malfunction. Systems malfunctions are abnormal. So he doesn’t understand the frame of reference Cor is using when he uses the word normal. But he knows Cor wants him to be that. It makes Cor pleased. He wants to make Cor pleased. But he doesn’t want his systems to malfunction.

Does Cor thinks it’s good that his vision is malfunctioning? It’s an odd thought. Why would Cor think it was good?

He looks at Cor. Cor glances at him and smiles.

“We’re gonna be OK, kid,” he says.

He doesn’t know whether to believe him.

~

When they get to Ignis’ door, someone inside is shouting. He sharpens his hearing and hears that it’s Noctis.

“I just want to go see how he is, OK?” Noctis says. “You can’t just expect me to go off to school when I don’t even know–”

“Your Highness,” Ignis says. He’s speaking much more evenly than Noctis, but there’s something sharp in his tone. Then Cor knocks on the door and pushes it open.

“Hi,” he says. “We interrupting anything?”

“Prompto,” Noctis says. He’s wearing his blue clothes, and he turns away from Ignis and comes over to him, half-raising his hands and then hesitating. “Ignis told me you were sick.”

“No,” he says. “My vision is malfunctioning, but otherwise all my systems are within normal parameters.”

Noctis stares at him. “So you’re not sick?” he says.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Ignis says. He comes and stands behind Noctis. “And I’m sure Noct will want to hear all about it. When he gets back from school.”

Noctis doesn’t react for a second. He’s still staring at him. Then he frowns and glances back at Ignis.

“I gotta–” he says.

“School, Noctis,” Ignis says. For a moment, they stare at each other. Then Noctis sighs.

“Sure you’re OK?” he says, turning back to him.

“Yeah,” he says. It must be the right thing to say, because Noctis’ mouth twitches up at the corners.

“All right,” he says. He makes a half-gesture with his hands again, then raises one fist and punches him on the arm. It doesn’t hurt, even though it ought to be a violent gesture. “See you when I get back from school, OK? Cor, you won’t take him home before then?”

“Not unless he gets sick again,” Cor says.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. He looks at him. “Don’t get sick again, OK?”

He nods. “Yes,” he says, even though he doesn’t know if he can carry out the order. He didn’t mean to get sick the last time.

Noctis nods and leaves the room. He touches his arm where Noctis punched him. It was an interesting gesture. He thinks about fist bump. Noctis punching him was like that, but unreciprocated. That’s what he thinks. He needs to learn the name of the gesture and confirm its significance. It’s becoming clear that gestures are important to Noctis.

Ignis closes the door behind Noctis and sighs, then smiles at him. “I really am very pleased you’re feeling better,” he says. “Yesterday was quite – fraught.”

“Yes,” he says. He looks at Cor. He doesn’t know whether Cor is going to leave him with Ignis or take him somewhere else next. But Cor doesn’t do either of those things. Instead, he takes out his phone.

“I’m gonna send you something,” he says to Ignis.

Ignis raises an eyebrow, then takes out his own phone. There’s a pause, while both of them look at their phones. Ignis starts to scroll through something. Then he frowns.

“I see,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “So – I know you got a lot of things to do Ignis, but I was hoping you would–”

“Yes,” Ignis says. “I will.” He’s still frowning at his phone. “Yes. Intriguing. Let me think about it.”

“I’ve got some ideas,” Cor says. “We can talk about it later. Right now, I gotta–” He stops and turns to him. “I gotta go, kid. But I’m not leaving the Citadel, all right? And I’ll be back in–” he glances at his watch “–three hours. Ignis is gonna look after you till then, OK?”

“Yes,” he says. It feels good – to know where Cor’s going to be, and when he’s coming back. He doesn’t have a watch or a phone, but there’s a clock on the wall and he looks at it and notes the time. So he knows when Cor’s coming back. That’s good.

“Great,” Cor says. He puts a hand on the back of his neck. “You feel sick, or have a headache or – anything at all, you tell Ignis straight away, all right?”

“Yes,” he says. Then Cor leaves.

Ignis looks at him with a thoughtful expression. “You’re definitely feeling better?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. “But my vision is malfunctioning.”

“So I see,” Ignis says. He taps a finger against his chin. “I’m afraid I have some paperwork to take care of, but I was wondering – if this might interest you.” He takes a few steps forward, then reaches out and pulls a book from a shelf. He flips through the pages and then holds it out. “Have a read.”

He looks at the open page. There’s an image of a bowl of soup on the left-hand page. On the right is a small amount of text. In large letters, at the top, is the words Leek and Potato Soup. Then underneath is a short list of foods, with amounts given. Underneath that is another list, this time numbered, with longer items. The first one reads: 1. Cut the leeks into quarters lengthwise, then slice thinly. The second one reads: 2. Peel the potatoes and dice. As he continues to read, he understands what it is: it’s a list of instructions. Instructions for constructing leek and potato soup. He’s seen Ignis perform several of these actions. He’s performed some of the vegetable chopping himself. But here, there’s a list of exactly what to do in what order.

He reads to the end. Then he reads it again, to make sure he’s understood. He doesn’t know all the words. But he feels like something’s changed. Something in his shoulders that’s been hurting ever since he woke up in the night. He didn’t even know it was hurting until it stopped. Cor hasn’t found out that he went out in the night, and now Ignis has given him instructions, and he thinks – maybe it can be all right after all. Maybe no-one will find out, and it will never happen again, and everything – everything can maybe be all right.

He looks up to find that Ignis is staring at him. He doesn’t look pleased.

“Are you all right?” Ignis asks. “I didn’t mean to upset you – I’m terribly sorry.”

He blinks. He’s not upset. “I’m not upset,” he says. His voice breaks on the last word. He feels like he’s about to cry. But that doesn’t make sense, because he’s not upset. “Do you want me to follow the instructions?”

“Instructions?” Ignis asks. Then he glances at the book. “Ah! I thought you might enjoy trying to make something by yourself. Would you like that? You can ask me for help if you need it.”

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, please.”

Ignis nods. He looks a little more pleased now. “Well,” he says, gesturing at the kitchen, “you know where everything is.”

And – he does. He knows where the leeks are, and the potatoes, and what they look like. He knows where the knives and the pans are. He doesn’t know what dice means, but he asks Ignis and learns it means to cut into cubes. The specificity of the word is pleasing. He cuts the potatoes into cubes and thinks about the word as he does it. Dice. Dice. Dice. It’s satisfying, though he’s not sure why.

Then he comes to the next part of the instructions. This part involves cooking the foods, rather than just chopping them. At times in the past, Ignis has directed him to stir a pan in which food is already cooking, but he’s never initiated the cooking process himself. Still, the instructions are quite specific: 3. Melt the butter in a large pan over medium heat, then add leeks. He considers the pans that stand on a shelf to the right of the cooker. There are many different sizes. Some are larger than others. Should he choose the largest one? He finds it and removes it from the shelf. It requires moving a number of other pans that are inside the large one. Then he peers into it. It’s very large. Is it large enough? Or too large?

“Are you all right, Prompto?” Ignis asks.

He looks up. Ignis is sitting at his desk. He’s holding a pen in one hand. He holds up the pan.

“Is this a large pan?” he asks.

Ignis’ mouth twitches. Then he stands up and comes over to the kitchen area.

“Let’s see,” he says. “When considering pan size, you need to consider what will need to go in the pan, and also what’s likely to happen to it during cooking. You need a pan that will be big enough to contain all of the ingredients at every stage. The instinct for this comes with experience. Where’s the recipe?”

He doesn’t know what recipe means, but Ignis doesn’t seem to require an answer. Instead, he goes to where the book is open on the counter and peers at it.

“Now, do you see?” he says. “The pan needs to be large enough to contain all of the leeks to start off with.” He gestures at the pile of chopped leeks. “But – this is what you’ll learn with experience – when you cook the leeks, they’ll shrink. So it doesn’t need to be large enough to contain the leeks as they currently are along with all the other ingredients.”

He nods. It makes sense. Almost.

“Why do the leeks shrink?” he asks.

Ignis stares at him.

“I – don’t know,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t realise that there were things Ignis didn’t know.

Ignis pushes his glasses further up his nose. Then he coughs.

“Well,” he says. “I think this pan is a touch too large.”

“Oh,” he says again. He turns and looks at the pans on the shelf, then looks back at the pile of leeks and instructs the mathematical element in his brain to calculate their approximate volume. Then he selects a pan and turns back to Ignis.

“This one?” he says.

“That one is ideal,” Ignis says.

Good. He puts the pan on the cooker and proceeds to follow the instructions. At first, the pile of leeks in the pan takes up most of the space. But after a short time, the pile starts to diminish, just like Ignis said it would. He can’t see how it’s happening, but it’s happening anyway. The pile gets smaller and small. He stirs, and he thinks about how heating leeks in butter could make them smaller. Eventually, he adds the potatoes. He keeps thinking, but his thoughts drift. Sometimes they drift to what happened in the night, and then his stomach lurches and he tries to push his thoughts in a different direction. No-one knows what happened. It won’t happen again. So he can – think about something else. Something else.

He’s thinking about something else when Ignis comes and stands beside him.

“You’re almost finished,” Ignis says. “It looks good.”

“It’s still twenty-five minutes from being finished,” he says. The penultimate instruction was to allow the mixture to simmer for thirty minutes, stirring occasionally. Simmer means to almost boil, but not quite. He’s been standing, watching the pan and stirring every 90 seconds, for almost exactly five minutes.

“Mm,” Ignis says. “Time for you to have a break, then.”

He looks at Ignis in confusion. But Ignis takes the spoon out of his hand and lets it rest in the pan.

“You don’t need to watch it,” he says. “Listen.”

He listens. He can hear: Ignis breathing, himself breathing, the quiet sound of the mixture bubbling, the hum of the refrigeration cupboard, the cars far down on the street outside the window. He sharpens his hearing and hears: his heart beating, Ignis’ heart beating, the silent one breathing outside the door, someone walking across the room on the floor beneath them, a bird making chimes somewhere outside the window.

“Can you hear it bubbling?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. He brings his hearing back down to normal levels, since he can hear the mixture bubbling without sharpening it.

“Just keep half an ear open to make sure it doesn’t start to boil,” Ignis says. “You’ll be able to hear if it does. And stir it every few minutes. Otherwise, you can leave it alone.” He gestures at the couch.

“Oh,” he says. “Thank you.” He goes to sit on the couch. He listens to the bubbling, but it doesn’t change. He sits. He isn’t sure what to do next. He’s still in the process of constructing the soup. But he’s not doing anything. He doesn’t want to do anything in case it distracts him and he fails to follow the instructions correctly. He looks around the room. And he thinks about something – something he’d been thinking about while he was stirring.

“Why are there images on the walls?” he asks Ignis.

Ignis looks up from his papers. “Hm?” he says, then looks around. “Oh. I think they make the room look more cheerful and interesting. More homelike. Don’t you?”

He considers. “What does homelike mean?” he asks. He knows that Cor and the others use the word home for Cor’s apartment, but he doesn’t really know what it means. Given that Cor’s apartment has very few images in the walls, it seems unlikely that homelike in this context can mean more like Cor’s apartment.

“Ah, well, hm,” Ignis says. “Your home is the place where you live – or where you come from, in some cases. People like to – decorate their homes with things that they like. It makes them feel more at home. Well, perhaps that’s not a useful idiom. More personal, if you like.”

He looks around at the images on Ignis’ walls. Home. He thinks about how he’s heard the word used. “Cor’s apartment isn’t your home,” he says. Ignis said the place where you live, and Ignis doesn’t live in Cor’s apartment.

“No,” Ignis says. “This is my home. Cor’s apartment is your home – and Cor’s, of course.”

He blinks. He looks at Ignis, then around his apartment. Cor’s apartment is Cor’s home. That makes sense. But it isn’t his apartment. It’s Cor’s apartment. But – he does live there. So – it’s his home?

But then Ignis said that home is also where you come from. He comes from the facility. It would make more sense if the facility were his home.

It’s confusing.

“Let’s take an example,” Ignis says. He stands up and walks over to an image. It’s a monochrome image of buildings. In the background, rising above the buildings, are the two towers with the purple light. The light doesn’t look purple in the image, but it’s still clearly distinguishable. Ignis stands by the image.

“I like this photograph because it presents a clear image of the power of the Lucian kings,” Ignis says. “It shows that, even when the world is boiled down to its most simplistic elements, that power is still clear. I also find it artistically striking. It reminds me of several of the things I love about Insomnia. That’s why I chose it to decorate my home.”

He looks at the image. Then he looks at the other images. They’re all different. But there are similarities, he realises. All of them have sharp lines and corners in them. None are brightly coloured, though not all are monochromatic. If Ignis likes the first one, then it makes sense that he would also like the others.

“Another example,” Ignis says. “Your plants. You keep them in your room, and it makes the room feel more like yours. It feels more like your home, rather than just a place where you sleep.”

Yes – he understands. It’s as he thought: the images, the plants – they’re a form of affiliation. They make the room feel affiliated with the person who lives or sleeps there. And – they also show the affiliations of that person with other things. Ignis is affiliated to the supreme commander, so he has an image of the towers. So the purpose of the images and the plants is to – link a space to a person.

“Does that make sense?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. It does make sense. He thinks about the facility. There were no decorative images there. Only instruction posters. The facility wasn’t affiliated with him. Or with anyone. And – he wasn’t affiliated with the facility.

Yes he was.

No – yes. Yes he was. He – he doesn’t –

He doesn’t feel anything for it. He knows he was affiliated, but he doesn’t feel it, not like he feels affiliated now with Cor. With Cor’s apartment and Ignis’ apartment. But that doesn’t make sense. He spent his whole life in the facility until he came here. But he feels nothing.

“Are you all right?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. But he feels – confused. Like there’s nothing solid under his feet. He wishes Cor was there.

There’s a silence. Then, he remembers the soup. He jumps to his feet and runs to the stove. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he stirred it. He should have been counting, but he was too busy thinking.

He stirs. Then he keeps stirring. The soup looks – the same as before. He thinks that’s good. It doesn’t look wrong. And he keeps stirring. And he thinks about the facility, and about Cor, and about everything that Ignis said.

“It smells very good,” Ignis says. “When you’ve learned a little more, perhaps you could cook for Cor at home. I’m sure he’d appreciate a home-cooked meal.”

That word again. That word is so important. But Cor–

“Cor doesn’t have any images on his walls,” he says. What does that mean?

“Ah,” Ignis says. “Well, the Marshal is – not very skilled at making a place feel like home.” He smiles. “I think he’s beginning to learn, though. Perhaps you can help him.”

It’s not what he expected. He doesn’t think it can be right. Cor is skilled at – everything. Why wouldn’t he be skilled at this? He stirs the soup and thinks about it. What Ignis said suggests that it’s not that Cor doesn’t want to have images on his walls. But if he does, why doesn’t he attach some? And how can he help? He doesn’t have any images to give to Cor.

“You don’t have to stir it all the time,” Ignis says.

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.”

And he goes to sit back down.

~

When the soup is finished, Ignis says they should wait for Cor before they eat any of it. It doesn’t look or smell quite like Ignis’ soup does. But it does smell good. He looks into the pan, thinking about how he constructed it by following the instructions. It was easier than he thought it would be. Now that he knows exactly what goes into making the soup, he wonders how all the different foods become altered and blended to make the taste and consistency that he’s familiar with. Why do the leeks shrink? Even Ignis doesn’t know.

“You can help me cook more in the future, if you would like,” Ignis says.

“Yes,” he says. He definitely wants to help Ignis cook.

“Why don’t you have a look at this for a while?” Ignis says, holding out the book with the instructions.

So he sits on the couch and looks through the book. Every page has a picture of a food on the left, and two lists – one of component foods and one of instructions – on the right. It’s a pleasing structure, and he looks carefully at each picture and wonders what it tastes like. He’s not familiar with many of the foods, although he’s seen Cor eating some things that look similar. Most of them are solid, and he thinks about chewing and swallowing and wonders if he can find a way to do it so that he can try the different foods.

After a while, Ignis prints something out and then starts talking under his breath while making marks on the paper. “No,” he mutters, crossing something out. “No. Oh dear.” He does this for a while, and then he takes a new paper and draws a grid on it. Then he starts writing on it. He continues this for some time. Then he goes back to his computer and stops talking to himself.

He looks at the clock. It’s been three hours. Cor was supposed to come back in three hours. He looks at the door. Then he looks at the clock again. He wonders if Cor didn’t really mean it when he said three hours. If he didn’t really mean it, then he has no way to know when Cor will come back. The thought makes his stomach churn.

Then the door opens and Cor comes in.

“Hey, kid,” he says. “Ignis. Everything OK here?”

“Mm, quite,” Ignis says. “Have you had lunch?”

“Nope. Starving,” Cor says. “You get my email?”

“I did, indeed,” Ignis says, getting up and going to turn on the heat under the pan of soup. “I’ve made some modifications to your plan.” He gestures at the table where he works, and Cor goes and picks up the paper that Ignis printed earlier. He grimaces.

“That bad, huh?” he asks.

“I’ve made a second draft,” Ignis says, and Cor picks up the second piece of paper. He scans it, then reads it again.

“Yeah, OK,” he says at last. “That seems – better.” Then he walks over to the couch and hold out the paper. “Kid,” he says, “take a look at this.”

He takes the paper and looks at it. It’s divided into a grid by a number of horizontal and vertical lines. There are seven rows, and each row is divided into twelve columns. The first column has a letter in each box. After that, each box has a number in the top left-hand corner, starting with 8 on the left and ending with 18 on the right. Then the boxes have a few words in them. For example, the fourth box in the third row says Geography, and underneath, Ignis Scientia/self-study. The first two boxes on the fifth row say Physical education, and underneath, Gladiolus Amicitia. And there are many other, including:

Music appreciation: Ignis Scientia/self-study
Field studies: Cor Leonis
Free time: Noctis Lucis Caelum
Literature: Gladiolus Amicitia
Culinary arts: Ignis Scientia
Psychology appointment: Clementia Fortis
Botany: Cor Leonis/self-study

He reads the paper once, and then again. He recognises most of the terms, and he sees the names of people he knows. But he doesn’t comprehend the purpose of the diagram. He looks up at Cor.

“It’s a timetable,” Cor says. “So you know what you’re going to be doing every day. And so we can make sure you get – uh, I don’t know.”

“A systematic education,” Ignis says, stirring the soup.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Systematic.” He sits down next to him on the couch. “See, these are the days of the week.” He points to the letters in the left-hand column. “And these are the times of day. So you know what you’re supposed to be doing and who you’re doing it with each hour of each day.”

He looks again at the paper. Yes: each box has a number, a name, and a description of some kind of subject. He doesn’t know all the words in all the descriptions, but he understands how the paper is structured.

“What day is today?” he asks.

Cor points at the third row. He looks at the fourth and sees that at 8 am tomorrow, he will go and talk to the one with the black hair. Then at nine, he’ll go and see Ignis and learn about science. He follows along the row and sees what he’ll do and who he’ll see at each point in the day. And it feels – it feels like when Ignis gave him the book with the soup instructions. Only more. It feels like it sometimes does when Cor puts his arm around him or holds him. It feels like there’s been something pressing down on him for days and days, and suddenly it’s lifted away. He feels light, and solid, and – situated, like for the first time since he met Cor he knows where he is. Even though he doesn’t know, not really, except for that he’s on the surface of Eos, which is a ball of rock hanging in emptiness. He doesn’t know, but he feels like he does. For the first time, he feels like he does.

“Hey,” Cor says. “You OK? Is this OK?”

He blinks and swallows. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.” His voice sounds hoarse.

“We’ll see how it goes for the first week or so,” Ignis says, bringing bowls to the table. “It’s certainly not set in stone. Now. Lunch.”

“Soup for everyone?” Cor says, standing up.

“Soup for everyone,” Ignis says.

He stands up and sits at the table. He still has the paper in his hand. He doesn’t want to let it go in case someone takes it away. It’s awkward – he has to hold the spoon in his other hand. His stomach’s turning over and over, and he’s not sure he can eat. He wants to eat. But he can’t stop thinking.

Cor puts a spoonful of soup in his mouth.

“Do you like it?” Ignis asks.

“Of course,” Cor says. “Your cooking’s always good, Ignis. You know that.”

Ignis smiles a little. “Prompto made it,” he says.

Cor stares at Ignis, spoon halfway to his mouth. Then he turns to look at him. “You made this?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He points at the book, where he left it on the low table by the couch. “The book has instructions.”

The corners of Cor’s mouth twitch into a smile. He puts the spoon in his mouth and swallows.

“It’s good, kid,” he says. “It’s really good.”

He nods. It makes sense: he followed the instructions. But even though all he did was follow the instructions, he feels warmth spreading through his chest. He made the soup. And now Cor’s eating it. And it’s good.

Ignis coughs. “Well,” he says, taking off his glasses and polishing them with a cloth, “now that you’ll be having semi-formal instruction, I suppose we’ll have to get you a school bag.”

“School bag?” Cor says. He looks at him. Then he smiles again. “Guess you really are going to be normal, huh, kid?”

He doesn’t understand the meaning of school bag or how it relates to normal, but it’s clear that Cor finds it pleasing, so he nods. “Yes,” he says.

“We’ll get you one this afternoon,” Cor says. He puts another spoonful of soup in his mouth. “This is really great, kid.”

He feels warm again. Cor didn’t find out about what happened in the night, and maybe it won’t happen again. Maybe nothing happened at all – he doesn’t know. He got wet and he hurt his foot, but maybe – maybe that happened some other way? Maybe everything’s all right. He made soup and Cor likes it, and he knows what he’s doing tomorrow and the next day and the next. He doesn’t feel like things can be bad. Whatever happened in the night, things don’t feel like they’re bad.

Maybe everything will be all right.

Chapter 36

Notes:

The theme of the art this chapter is Extreme Cuteness. You have been warned.

Sirladysketch made a picture of Cor ruffling Prompto's hair and it is soooo cuuuuute and Cor looks so damn fond and proud awwwww. And I love that Prompto has terrible posture. Think of the string on the top of your head, Prompto! Or Gladio will have you running laps! ♥

And Rubyredux made two pictures, both also stupidly cute. The first one is Prompto cuddling his first non-awful towel and the second is Prompto happily cuddling his energy drink and listening to music. Awwwh, he's so happy and comfortable and, like, content for the first time in his life. It's adorable. Cor needs to give him more towels. Ahem. (Also, I love that his clothes are clearly too big for him in that second one. Cor, how come it took you so long to get him his own clothes???)

Thank you so much to the artists! Please go and give them love!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After lunch, Ignis tells him to look at the book of food instructions and choose something else to make. Ignis points at the schedule: tomorrow afternoon at 1400 he’ll be studying Culinary arts. He doesn’t know what Culinary arts are, but since Ignis says he should choose a food to make, he thinks it must have something to do with constructing foods.

He looks at the book for a while. Ignis is working at his table, and Cor doesn’t leave, but puts his laptop on the kitchen table and works as well. Everything’s quiet. But it’s good. It feels – he’s not sure how to describe it. He tries to remember the feeling, though, so that the one with the black hair can tell him what it’s called.

After some time, Ignis comes over and sits near him.

“Have you chosen something?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He shows Ignis the page. The title is Steak Pie. The image is of a circular, pale brown object. In the middle of the object are some structures that look like leaves, except that they’re made of the same pale brown material. He likes the shape, and the things that look like leaves. He thinks it would be pleasing to construct Steak Pie.

“Hm,” Ignis says.

“What is it?” Cor asks. He comes over and looks at the page, then frowns. “Might be kinda rich for your stomach, kid.”

He looks at the image. “Oh,” he says. He hadn’t really thought about eating the food. Just about constructing it.

“But there’s no harm in trying,” Ignis says. “We’ll just make sure to have some soup at hand for if you can’t manage very much of it. Then the stakes will be low.”

Cor makes a quiet groaning noise. He looks at him and sees he’s grimacing. He wonders if he has a headache. Cor sees him looking and shakes his head, then puts a hand on the back of his neck. It feels warm.

“Gonna turn this kid into a master chef, huh, Ignis?” Cor says.

“You might have to actually buy some kitchen equipment,” Ignis says.

“Got me there,” says Cor. “Not that there’s anywhere to put it in the kitchen.”

Ignis looks like he’s about to say something else, but then the door opens and Noctis comes in. Gladio comes in after him. Noctis drops the bag he’s carrying on the floor and looks over at him.

“Good, you’re still here,” he says. Then he comes and drops onto the couch, spreading out his arms and legs and leaning his head back. “Ugh,” he says.

He closes the book and puts it on the low table. It’s strange: even though the way Noctis behaves indicates some kind of displeasure, watching him do it feels – pleasing. He does it the same way every time: he comes back from the place called school, throws himself on the couch, and looks unhappy. He knows now that in a moment or two, Noctis will stop looking unhappy and start talking to him. It’s the same every time. So – it’s pleasing. Pleasing isn’t quite the right word. But it’s similar to that.

Noctis raises his head. “What’s that?” he asks. He points at the paper that Cor gave him.

He picks up the paper and holds it out. Noctis takes it and looks at it. Then he frowns.

“Class schedule?” he says. “Huh?”

“Dr Fortis thought it was about time Prompto had some more structure in his life,” Ignis says.

“Structure?” Noctis says. He stares at Ignis, then grimaces. “So you’re gonna make him go to school? That sucks!”

“He won’t be going anywhere,” Cor says.

“It’s still school, though,” Noctis says. He turns to him. “Dude – you’re gonna let them do this?”

He stares at Noctis. He doesn’t understand Noctis’ reaction. But he still doesn’t know what school means. He knows it’s a place that Noctis goes to for several hours on most days. But now – he’s going to go there, too? But Cor said he wasn’t going anywhere. So – what?

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t give Prompto the idea that school is a bad thing,” Ignis says.

“But–” Noctis says. But then he doesn’t say anything else. He looks at Ignis and Cor, and then he stops talking. He frowns at the schedule. Then he shakes his head.

“OK, but if you’re homeschooling Prompto anyway, then you might as well do me at the same time, right?” he says, looking up at Ignis.

Ignis sighs. “You know very well why you have to go to school,” he says. “And I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad as you like to imply.”

Noctis sighs and slumps back onto the couch. “Fine,” he mutters. He glances at him. “They’re not gonna make you wear a uniform or anything, right?”

He doesn’t know the answer to the question, so he looks at Cor. But it’s Ignis who answers.

“I think Prompto’s probably had enough of uniforms for the time being,” he says.

Noctis hunches his shoulders. “Yeah – sorry,” he says.

He’s not sure what Noctis is sorry for. But before he can ask, he’s interrupted. “Let me see that,” Gladio says, leaning over the back of the couch and grabbing the schedule out of Noctis’ hand. He sits up, his heart beating a little too fast. Noctis and Gladio don’t seem to be taking care to avoid damaging the schedule. He keeps his eyes on it, hoping that one of them will return it to him soon.

Gladio is scanning down the paper. When he comes to a certain point, he smiles his half-smile and looks up at Ignis. “Literature?” he says. “You sure you want to let me loose on that?”

It’s not Ignis who answers, though: it’s Cor. “Are you implying that you’re not going to take this responsibility seriously, Crownsguard?” he says.

Gladio suddenly straightens up, turning towards Cor. He clears his throat. “No, sir,” he says. He’s not smiling now.

“Glad to hear it,” Cor says. “Since Ignis recommended you for the position, I’m expecting great things.”

Gladio’s back seems to get even straighter, and he lifts his chin. “Thank you, sir,” he says.

Cor looks like he might be about to smile, but he doesn’t. Instead, he turns to him. “Want to go get this bag?”

He’s confused by the sudden change in subject, and by the fact that Ignis never answered Gladio’s question, but he puts it out of his mind. “Yes,” he says, even though really he wants to stay with Noctis. He was hoping maybe Noctis would ask him to play a game. But if Cor wants him to go get a bag, then that’s what he should do. He’s not sure what the purpose of the bag will be, but hopefully someone will explain it to him.

“Uh, what?” Noctis says. “I just got here. We’re going out again already?”

Gladio frowns at Noctis. “Who said you’re going anywhere?” he asks.

Noctis raises his eyebrows, then reaches out and takes the schedule from Gladio. He spreads it on the table and taps his finger on it. “Says right here,” he says. “Free time: Noctis Lucis Caelum.”

Gladio leans over his shoulder and looks at the schedule. “Huh,” he says.

“We’re not starting the schedule until tomorrow,” Ignis says. “Don’t you have homework?”

Noctis stares at Ignis. He can’t see Noctis’ expression, but after a moment Ignis sighs.

“Fine,” he says. “You can do it when you get back.”

“Sure, whatever,” Noctis says. He turns to him. “OK, we going, or what?”

He looks at Cor. Cor shrugs and stands up, so he stands, too. Noctis follows them, and Gladio follows Noctis. As they go out of the door, Noctis speaks again.

“Hey – Prompto,” he says. “I was thinking. What about contacts?”

He looks at Noctis. Noctis is looking at him, waiting for the answer to the question. But he doesn’t know what the question means.

“What, like contact lenses?” Gladio says. He’s glad Gladio answered, even though he still doesn’t know what the conversation is about.

“Yeah. I mean, coloured ones, though,” Noctis says. “So he doesn’t have to wear the shades all the time. It looks kinda weird.”

Cor stops walking and looks at Noctis. He stops walking too, and waits to see what Cor will say. But Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment or two. He’s just frowning.

“What?” Noctis says eventually. “I mean, there’s no reason why not, right?”

Cor frowns deeper, then lets out his breath.

“Can’t think of one,” he says. “Bet your old man could, though.” He says this to Gladio.

“Want me to call him?” Gladio asks.

Cor frowns in thought. Then he shakes his head.

“I’m sure he’ll notice by himself eventually,” he says.

Gladio smiles his half smile at that. “Glasses guy, then?”

“Glasses guy it is,” says Cor.

~

Glasses guy turns out to be the bald one who gave him the glasses when his vision malfunctioned before. It makes sense: his vision is malfunctioning again. But the glasses are still working, so he’s not sure what glasses guy will be able to do this time.

“Hey,” Noctis says as they walk into glasses guy’s room. “You got any coloured contacts?”

Glasses guy looks up from his desk, and then his cheeks get a little paler. “Your Highness?” he says.

“Yeah, hi,” Noctis says. “Coloured contacts?”

“Oh – of course,” glasses guy says. He looks quickly at him and then looks away. “What colour?”

Noctis shrugs. “What colours are there?” he asks.

Glasses guy goes to a drawer and comes back with a tray. The tray is full of little boxes, filled with some kind of fluid. In each little box floats a small circular object with a clear centre and colour around the outside. He sees greens, blues, light brown, dark brown, grey, purple, red, orange, yellow – all kinds of shades, some bright, some much more subdued.

Noctis looks at him. “Want to try some?” he asks.

He looks at the tray. He’s not sure what Noctis wants him to do. Is he supposed to – drink the fluid? Or eat the objects? He looks back at Noctis, but Noctis doesn’t explain.

“They’re for your eyes, kid,” Cor says then. “To cover up the red.”

He blinks. Then he looks more closely at the objects. Some of them do look like parts of eyes – eyes if the pupil and the white part were removed, leaving only the coloured ring. The more subdued ones look like human eyes. The solid red ones look like MT eyes. The rest don’t look like the eyes of anything he knows about.

“Try the green ones,” Noctis says.

He picks up two boxes with bright green circles in them. Noctis reaches out and prods his arm with a fingertip.

“I mean the human-looking green ones, genius,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. He puts back the bright green circles and picks up two that are a duller green. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with them. Perhaps he’s supposed to remove the relevant parts of his eyes and insert these instead? But he’s never done that before. He didn’t know that those parts of his eyes were detachable. He looks at glasses guy.

“Let me show you,” glasses guy says. He takes one of the boxes and opens it, then put his finger in. When he pulls it out, he sees that the circle is balanced on his fingertip. It’s not circular: it’s hemispherical, and concave upwards. Glasses guy steps toward him.

“Take your glasses off and try to keep your eye open,” he says.

He follows the instructions. Glasses guy puts his fingertip right up into his eye. “Blink,” he says.

He blinks. Nothing looks different. But there’s something in his eye now. He can feel it, just slightly. Glasses guy didn’t remove any part of his eye. But he put something in it. It didn’t hurt like he thought it would.

Noctis moves round in front of him. “Huh,” he says. “Do the other one.”

Glasses guy repeats the process. He wants to see Noctis’ expression, but everything’s blurry. He wonders if he’s permitted to put the glasses back on now.

“Check it out,” Noctis says. Then he sees the blurry shapes of Cor and Gladio moving in front of him as well. Gladio makes a whistling noise. Cor says huh, very quietly.

Noctis comes closer, his face very close indeed. “I can still see a little red,” he says. “But you’d have to know what you were looking for.” Then he steps back and waves a blurry arm. “Take a look.”

He decides that Noctis must mean he should put the glasses back on – how can he take a look if he doesn’t? – so he does this and then looks in the large mirror that takes up most of one wall of the room. His mirror image looks back at him, but – different. His eyes look – green. And human. It’s only his eyes, but somehow it changes everything about how his face looks. This is what he would look like, if he were human. He stares, feeling – amazed. Then he looks at the others. They’re all looking at him. Noctis looks pleased, Gladio is half-smiling, but Cor – Cor looks like he looks. Cor’s expression is the same as his own expression in the mirror. Maybe Cor’s amazed, too.

“Try another colour,” Noctis says.

He takes his glasses off again, and glasses guy shows him how to remove the fake eyes. Then he tries some different ones: the dark brown, blue, light brown, and, when Noctis insists, the bright green and the bright yellow. The effect of the latter two is startling, but less so than the effect of the human-looking fake eyes. He’s not sure anything could be more startling than that.

“Blue,” Cor says, when he’s finished trying all the different colours. “That’s your colour.”

“Agreed,” Gladio says.

“We’ll take a pair of each,” Noctis says, then shrugs when the other two look at him. “So he can switch them up if he feels like it,” he says. “And get some made up with his prescription.” He says this to glasses guy, who nods and starts piling up boxes of fake eyes. Noctis makes glasses guy leave one set out – blue ones – and tells him to put them in his eyes. Then he puts his glasses back on, and then they leave.

When they leave, Noctis carries all the fake eyes in a bag. It’s not the bag Cor wanted him to get, though. To get that, they have to go to a place like the place where they got the clothes, except instead of endless racks of clothes, it has endless racks of bags. Otherwise, the experience is very similar: Cor tells him to choose something, and after a little while of feeling overwhelmed by choice, he finds himself walking slowly around the racks, looking at all the bags. After a few minutes, his eyes is caught by a yellow bag that has strange appendages. The appendages are: two yellow tubes attached to the base that end in flat orange shapes; and a subspherical yellow object attached to the top of the bag that has an orange cone protruding from the the front and two hemispherical pieces of glass on either side of the orange cone. Both the tubes and the subspherical object are covered in soft hair, and the orange parts are soft, too, though there’s no hair in this case. He likes the colour of the bag, but the main reason he stops beside it is because of the inexplicable attachments. There are a lot of bags in the room, but none of them have attachments like these. He stares at the bag, wondering what the function of the attachments is.

“Chocobo, huh?” Gladio says. He’s standing immediately behind him, looking over his shoulder. “Cute.”

He looks back at Gladio, then at the bag again. He reaches out and touches the subspherical object. It feels very soft. Even though he can’t think what the function of the appendages might be, he has a strange desire to choose this bag, because they’re so soft.

“Dude,” Noctis says, coming around the rack. “That’s for kids.”

He stares at Noctis. He doesn’t know what kid means, but Cor calls him kid all the time, and sometimes other people do, too. So he assumes that means Noctis thinks the bag is appropriate for him. But the expression on Noctis’ face makes him think the opposite. He wonders what response he should make, given that he’s not sure if Noctis approves or not.

Then Cor arrives. He looks at the bag. “Chocobo, huh?” he says.

Chocobo, huh is the appropriate reaction to the bag. He looks at it, then he looks at Cor.

“What’s the function of this?” he asks, and grasps the subspherical appendage. His fingers sink in: the whole object is soft. He squeezes, unable to resist.

Cor shrugs. “It’s fun, I guess,” he says. He looks at Noctis. “Right?”

Noctis grimaces. “Sure, if you’re a kid,” he says.

Good. Noctis thinks the bag is appropriate. Cor doesn’t seem very sure about the function of the appendages, either. He thinks they will be inconvenient in general. They don’t seem like they’ll enhance the functioning of the bag as a device for carrying objects. In fact, they seem like they’ll reduce its efficiency. But – they’re very soft.

“You want that one?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says.

Noctis sighs loudly.

“Great,” Cor says. “Let’s get out of here.” He reaches over and pulls the bag off the rack. “Gladio, watch the kid while I pay.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Gladio says. Cor raises his eyebrows at him then goes to the other end of the room. Noctis folds his arms.

“You should get some patches,” he says. “To put on your bag. Make it look cooler.”

He’s not sure what Noctis is referring to. “Yes,” he says. He looks around. He can’t see any patches.

“Here,” Noctis says. He grabs his arm and pulls him towards where Cor is standing. At that end of the room, there’s a wall with strips of fabric hanging from horizontal poles. Noctis pulls him over to the wall.

“Uh, OK, this one,” he says, grabbing a black strip with purple patterns on it. “This one – this one – this – ugh.” He tries to take a strip, but it won’t come off the rack. “C’mon,” he says, and grabs his arm again. He pulls him over to where Cor is and puts the three strips of fabric on the glass table in front of Cor.

“These as well, and I need the one with the skull emblems,” he says.

The person behind the counter glances at him. “You need royal authorisation for that one, kid,” she says.

Gladio makes a strange noise. Noctis sighs. “What, you want me to call my dad?” he says.

The woman glances at him again, then frowns and looks closer. Then her eyes suddenly widen.

“Holy shi– Uh, your Highness,” she says. “I’m – so sorry, I’ll get it for you now.”

She goes over to the wall and uses a small device to remove the fourth strip of fabric. Her face is very red. Noctis leans against the counter and sighs again.

“Bag’s gonna look weird with those patches on it,” Gladio says.

“It’s a chocobo bag. It’s already weird,” Noctis replies.

He looks at the bag. Yes: it is weird. He touches one of the yellow tubes, then squeezes it. He wonders what the purpose of the bag is. He wonders if, once they’ve finished acquiring the bag, they’ll go to the room with food like they did before, when they acquired clothes. He wonders if he can have milkshake again. It was good last time.

The person comes back with the fabric strip and puts it with the others. Then she looks at Cor. “That’s fifteen ninety nine,” she says.

He ponders the meaning of this. It sounds like a measurement of some kind, but there are no units attached, and it’s not clear what object or property is being measured. Or perhaps it’s a code, or a designation. While he’s thinking about it, Cor holds out a flat plastic rectangle to the person and she takes it, performs some kind of operation with a small device that sits on the table, and then gives it back to Cor.

“OK, we’re good,” Cor says. “Let’s go.”

So they go. The significance of the measurement, and of the plastic rectangle, are still opaque, but he has too many other things to think about to spend much time considering them.

They leave the room with the bags and go back towards the car. But then Noctis stops walking. “Hey – what are we doing now?” he asks.

Cor turns to look at him. “I’ll drop you and Gladio at the Citadel and the rest of us will head home,” he says.

Noctis folds his arms. “But it’s my free time,” he says. “It’s on the schedule. So me and Prompto should get to do what we want. Right?” He looks at him. But he doesn’t know if that’s right or not. It sounds right, but if it was, Cor would have suggested that instead of going home. Wouldn’t he?

Cor frowns at Noctis. “Highness, you know Prompto can’t just do whatever you want. You understand why.”

Noctis sighs heavily. “Yeah, whatever. But we can at least do something.” He turns to him. “What do you want to do?”

It’s such an open question that he’s left without any thoughts at all. He stares at Noctis, and Noctis stares back.

“Uh,” Noctis says. “Like, arcade? Or park?”

“No arcade,” Gladio says. “Not after last time.”

“Park, then,” Noctis says. “Prompto likes the park, right?”

“Yes,” he says. He does like the park.

“So that’s settled,” Noctis says. He turns and looks at Cor, arms still folded. “Right?”

Cor stands still for a moment, looking at them. Then he nods.

“It’s your free time,” he says.

Noctis smiles a small smile. “Right,” he says. “And we’re getting donuts on the way. C’mon.”

He grabs his arm and starts pulling him along. And everyone else follows behind them.

~

Before they go to the park, they stop at another room with a big glass window that faces onto the street, and Noctis acquires donuts. Donuts are a type of food. Some are spheroidal and solid, others are torus-shaped. The base material is pale brown and slightly shiny, but different donuts have different additions, like brown gel or a bright pink covering or colourful speckles. Noctis asks him which kind of donut he wants, but Cor puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Not sure Prompto’s stomach is up to that yet,” he says.

Noctis looks displeased. “Not like they’re spicy or anything,” he says.

Cor doesn’t say anything. Noctis sighs and turns to him. “What do you want, then?”

He isn’t sure what the best answer is. It’s not lunchtime and it’s too early for dinner, so he wasn’t expecting to have to choose a food. And there’s no list to choose from. But he remembers the last time they went to a room with food, and he thinks maybe this is similar.

“Soup?” he says.

Noctis looks even less pleased. So it’s the wrong answer. He tries to think of an answer that will make Noctis more pleased, but he doesn’t have enough contextual data. And he doesn’t know very many foods.

“Milkshake?” he says.

Noctis stops frowning. Good. It was right.

“There’s a Crow’s Nest a couple blocks down,” Noctis says. He looks at Cor. “OK?”

Cor nods. “Last day of freedom, right, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know what Cor means, but he thinks he wanted him to agree. And he likes to be able to say something.

Then they stop at another room full of tables and chairs, and Cor goes over to the long white table at the back and comes back with an opaque white cup. “Chocolate,” he says. “You liked that last time, right?”

“Yes,” he says, even though he can’t remember where he’s heard the word chocolate before or what it means. He takes the cup and drinks from the straw. It’s not quite the same as before, but it recognisably belongs to the same class of foods. And it’s good. And Noctis is pleased now. So he feels good.

Then they go down a smaller street, and then they get to the park. He stops just inside the gate: he’d forgotten how green it was, in the park. He’s seen other green things since then – the plants that he looks after, he sees them every day – but it’s not the same as seeing the whole ground green, and the trees filling half the sky, and the leaves everywhere. Even the air tastes different in the park. He breathes deeply so he can taste it.

“Hey,” Noctis says. He looks at him, and sees that he’s looking at something far away. “Look at that.”

He looks. He doesn’t see anything. But Noctis grabs his arm and starts pulling him, so he follows, feeling how much softer the green ground feels under his feet. When they’re a quarter of the way across the grass towards the trees, Noctis lets go of him and kneels down, holding his hand out.

“Hey there,” he says. His voice has changed: it’s quieter, and soft, and he’s smiling a little. He’s looking at something under a bench. He holds his hand out towards whatever it is. “C’mere. Come on.”

Then a small object appears from under the bench. The object is maybe as long as his forearm, and covered in hair. The hair is all different colours – white and black and orange – in a seemingly random arrangement of patches. The object has four struts beneath it, which it uses to move forward towards Noctis’ hand.

He stares at the object. It’s outside, in the park. And it’s moving. It’s now pressing part of itself against Noctis’ hand. So he thinks–

“It’s an organism,” he says.

Noctis looks up at him and frowns. “Uh, I mean, yeah,” he says. “It’s a cat.”

Cat. Cat is a type of organism. He looks at the cat. Now Noctis is sitting cross-legged, patting his thigh. A moment later, the cat climbs up and sits on Noctis’ leg. It starts making an interesting rhythmic rumbling noise. It’s not like the bird he saw before, that was nervous about coming close. The cat doesn’t seem nervous.

“You wanna pet her?” Noctis asks.

He stares down at Noctis and the cat. Noctis gestures. “C’mon,” he says. “Sit down.”

He sits down. He tries to copy the way Noctis is sitting. Noctis scratches the cat’s head, then picks it up bodily and holds it out.

“Here,” he says.

He wasn’t expecting Noctis to pick the cat up. He hesitates, and Noctis raises his eyebrows.

“Take her,” he says.

The instructions are clear. So he reaches out and takes the cat from Noctis. He tries to hold it in the same way Noctis is holding it. It feels – warm and heavy and soft. He isn’t sure what to do with it once he’s holding it, so he puts it down on his legs. Noctis had the cat on his leg, so that seems appropriate. The cat stretches, arching its back, and then curls around itself on his thighs. It’s a heavy, warm weight in his lap. He stares down at it, wondering what to do next.

“Here,” Noctis says. He reaches out and strokes the cat’s back. “Do this. And scratch her between the ears.”

He does what Noctis said. The cat’s hair feels – very soft, and very smooth. It’s not soft like the couch that Cor bought – the cat is much more solid than that. But when he runs his hand along the cat’s back, it feels – pleasing. He tries it again, and then experiments by running his hand in the other direction. The hair is still soft, but it’s much less smooth that way, and the cat looks up at him and makes a strange noise.

“Don’t do it that way,” Noctis says. “It’s not nice for the cat.”

He hadn’t thought about whether any of what he’s doing is nice for the cat or not. But if the cat’s an organism, he supposes it must be able to feel good or bad, just like people or MT units. He thinks about how sometimes Cor touches his hair. Cor touches his hair in two situations: when he’s holding him, and when he performs the head-rubbing gesture. When he’s holding him, Cor always runs his hand downwards, like he’s doing with the cat. It feels good, and he thinks it wouldn’t feel as good if Cor ran his hand upwards. But when he performs the head-rubbing gesture, there’s no pattern in terms of the direction of movement. But – it feels good, too. So there doesn’t seem to be a solid conclusion.

“Found a cat, huh?” Cor says. He and Gladio and the silent one have crossed the grass to them, and now Cor sits down on the bench that the cat was previously underneath.

He looks at the cat. Its eyes are closed and it’s making the strange rumbling sound again. He keeps running his hand along its back like Noctis showed him. It feels nice. And it’s good that Noctis thinks the cat likes it, too. “Yes,” he says. “Noctis found it.”

Cor sits on the bench and looks at him for a few moments. Then he pulls out his phone and raises it. The phone makes the noise that means it’s making an image. Cor looks at the screen and smiles a little.

“Think it likes you,” Gladio says. Then he looks at Cor and half smiles. “You ready to adopt another stray?”

“Don’t even think it, Amicitia,” Cor says.

Gladio laughs. The cat’s ears twitch. Then it uncurls itself, stretches, rubs its head against his hand, and walks away. He watches it go. He thinks about the bird he saw that he fed bread to. The bird didn’t come close like the cat. He’s never seen an organism so unafraid around humans. He wonders if there are any more types of organism that behave like the cat.

He looks at Noctis. Noctis is staring after the cat. He looks – thoughtful. Or unhappy. But it’s not quite either. He’s not sure what Noctis looks like.

Then Noctis sighs and looks at him. “Cool cat, huh?” he says.

“Yeah,” he says. “Cool cat.”

Noctis smiles then, and he smiles, too. Then Noctis gets to his feet. “Come on,” he says. “I’ve got something to show you.”

He gets up, too, and follows Noctis. Cor stays sitting on the bench until they’re part way across the grass. Then he gets up and follows them with Gladio and the silent one. They stay far enough away that he can’t hear what they’re saying without sharpening his hearing, though.

Noctis glances back at them. “It’s so stupid that they’ve still got Lacertus following you around everywhere,” he says. “I mean, if you wanted to hurt me, you’d have done it already, right?

He stares at Noctis. The question is – inexplicable. Why would he want to hurt Noctis? He – feels affection for Noctis. He thinks he does. He thinks that feeling affection for someone is the opposite of wanting to hurt them.

“No,” he says, then considers the structure of the question and thinks that it’s not the correct answer – not correctly phrased. “I feel affection for you,” he says.

Noctis stumbles and then turns to look at him. His eyes are open wide. “Dude,” he says. “What the fuck?”

Fuck is bad. He’s not sure what he said that was bad, though. Maybe he’s wrong about affection.

“You can’t just – say shit like that,” Noctis says. “That’s – it’s really weird.”

“Oh,” he says. He hadn’t considered that it might be weird. “Sorry.”

Noctis puts his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders. His cheeks are red. “Uh – anyway – yeah,” he says. “Let’s not – let’s – it’s all good, OK?” He hunches his shoulders even more, turns his head away, then steps sideways and bumps his shoulder into his arm. It’s not an accidental bump, even though Noctis isn’t looking when he does it. It’s a strange thing to do. Then Noctis pulls one hand out of his pocket, grabs his elbow, and starts pulling him towards the trees.

“This way,” he says, still not looking at him. So he follows. Noctis pulls him under the trees, and he looks up at them as he walks. Everything above him is green, different shades of green, different shapes, moving in the moving air. The sky is grey today, and the light seems grey, too, so the leaves don’t seem to glow like they did last time he was in the park. Noctis pulls him over to a particular tree which has thick branches that start barely higher than his head and looks up at it.

“I used to climb this tree all the time when I was a kid,” he says. He glances at him. “No-one could ever find me.”

He looks up at the tree. It has a lot of branches, very thick, and a lot of leaves. He thinks it would be easy to climb, but he wonders why Noctis wanted to. He thinks it would be inconvenient if no-one could find Noctis.

“You ever climbed a tree?” Noctis asks.

He shakes his head. Noctis nods.

“Come on, then,” he says. Then he lets go of his arm and jumps, catching the lowest branch and pulling himself up onto it. He sits astride it and looks down at him. “You coming?”

He looks back at Cor. Cor’s standing just inside the trees, watching them. He looks up at Noctis, then he looks back again at Cor. Then Cor nods at him. He thinks it means he can climb the tree. But he’s not sure. So he points at the tree. Cor nods again. So he thinks it’s right. He does what Noctis did, and jumps up to catch on to one of the lower branches. Then he pulls himself up. Then he looks at Cor again. Cor’s watching, but he doesn’t say anything or come closer. So it must be all right to climb the tree. He waits another second to make sure, then looks around himself. The tree looks different now that he’s up amongst the lower leaves. The ground looks different, too. It’s interesting.

“Race you,” Noctis says. Then he starts climbing. He climbs fast, from branch to branch. Soon he’s barely visible in the leaves.

He follows. He doesn’t know what race you means, but he wants to go further up the tree, both because Noctis is up there and because he wants to know what it looks like. It’s not like being high up in a building. It feels – less like looking at something from somewhere else, and more like being part of something. Being high up, but still in the world. The leaves brush against his arms, and the air feels cool and soft on his face. He hears the chimes of the birds, and smells the green smell, and thinks it would be good to be here all the time. He doesn’t think it would be possible to live in the tree – there’s no kitchen or bed – but he thinks about it anyway, what it would be like to wake up high up among the leaves and branches, with the birds chiming nearby. It’s stupid to think about it, because it’s not possible. But he thinks about it anyway.

He catches up with Noctis. Noctis is sitting on a high branch, swinging his legs and waiting. The branch is a lot thinner than the lower ones. He doesn’t sit on the same branch, but he finds another one that’s just as high. The branches higher up are too thin. He doesn’t think they should climb any higher, even though they’re not yet at the top of the tree, or even near it. But they are high up. When he looks down, he can barely see the ground through the leaves.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Noctis says.

“Yeah,” he says. “Pretty cool.” The air is quite cool, but he thinks that’s not what Noctis meant.

“I used to go higher, when I was a kid,” Noctis says. “I weighed less then.”

He considers this. Noctis said when I was a kid. So Noctis used to be a kid, but he isn’t any more. And he weighed less when he was a kid. Maybe that’s why Noctis said the bag was for kids – because he’s not a kid any more. But he’s a kid now – Cor always calls him a kid, and so does Gladio, sometimes. He wonders if one day he’ll stop being a kid, like Noctis did. Maybe when he weighs more.

Noctis stares up at the sky. “You feel that?” he says.

He feels lots of things. He’s not sure which one Noctis is talking about.

Then: a drop of water on his cheek. He looks up, too. Another drop lands on his forehead.

“Ugh, it’s raining,” Noctis says.

He stares up at the leaves above him. There are still lots of them, but he can see a lot more sky between the gaps, too. The leaves start making a hissing sound. Then more water lands on him, on his face and arms. He looks at himself and sees that the yellow fabric of his t-shirt is covered in darker yellow dots.

Noctis starts to climb off the branch he’s sitting on. Then he pauses. “Prompto?” he says. “It’s raining.”

“Yes,” he says. He turns his face back up towards the sky. The rain feels cool on his skin. He realises that the leaves are hissing because of the raindrops landing on them.

“Uh – you like the rain?” Noctis says.

He glances at Noctis. Noctis is sitting on the branch and staring at him. He’s frowning.

“Yes,” he says.

“How come?” Noctis asks.

It’s a difficult question. The answer seems both obvious and impossible to describe. Noctis must be feeling the same thing as him – the water falling on his skin, the soft air, the leaves hissing, the intensification of the green scent – but he still asked for an explanation. So he can’t be feeling the same thing. Not exactly the same. He wishes he could give Noctis his feelings so that Noctis could understand.

“It’s – the hydrological cycle,” he says. It doesn’t feel adequate. But it’s partly right. Everything’s connected – the sky and the rain and the tree. And he feels connected, too. The rain makes him feel connected.

“Oooo-kay,” Noctis says. He sits on the branch and stares at him. Then he shrugs. “I mean, cool, I guess,” he says. He looks up at the sky, frowning a little. Then he closes his eyes. “Yeah, cool,” he says, very quietly.

He raises his face to the sky again. It’s good – he thinks Noctis understood his explanation, even though it wasn’t adequate. He closes his own eyes and listens to the leaves hissing. He sharpens his hearing, and hears all the leaves in all the trees hissing. Then he hears something else. Cor and Gladio talking at the bottom of the tree.

“You should just call him down if you’re worried,” Gladio says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. There’s a pause. “Does Noct do this a lot?”

“Go climbing trees?” Gladio asks, and laughs. “Not since he was a kid.”

“Yeah,” Cor says again. Another pause.

“OK, I’ll call them down,” Gladio says.

“No–” Cor says. “No, just let them – be normal kids.”

Gladio snorts. “Neither one of those two is a normal kid,” he says. Then there’s a silence. Then he says, “OK, sure.”

Neither of them speaks again. He thinks he should go down the tree – Cor wanted to call him down. But Cor didn’t call him down. And Noctis hasn’t told him to go down. And he doesn’t want to go down. He wants to stay here, somewhere between the ground and the sky, connected to one by the tree and the other by the rain. He wants to stay here, at least for a little while.

So he does.

Notes:

PS The fluffy chocobo bag idea was totally planted in my head by ASWF. Good job, ASWF, you made Noct kind of embarrassed to be seen with Prompto :D

Chapter 37

Notes:

Hello, angst-fiends! This chapter's fanart includes two things, both by Wordsmythologic:

1. A super cool logo for Prompto's namesake sports drink (you can't name a sports drink after an MT!), which is just as peppy and strawberry flavoured as our kid himself would be if it wasn't for that pesky traumatic upbringing :D

2. A song, my God, you lot, does your creativity never end??? I have never, ever had anyone write a song for one of my fics before (mind, I've very rarely had anyone do fanart for my fics before, so I am very much loving this experience overall :D) It's based on one of Prompto's nightmares and is thus creepy and tense, and I love it very much. I think you will love it, too! Go and listen while drinking your hyperactive PROMPTO! and petting a chocobo bag! It's all about the mood whiplash round here!

Thanks and love to the artist/composer, you are wonderful ♥

Chapter Text

That night, he goes to bed at the normal time. He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. It’s strange, now that he can’t switch to night vision mode any more. Everything’s very dark and indistinct. He wonders if his vision will start functioning properly again by itself, like it did last time. He hopes so. The fact that it’s still not functioning makes him feel – something. Something bad. But something specific. It’s a specific feeling, different from how he feels bad at other times. He has a lot of specific feelings that are all different from each other. Do all of them have names? Do humans have all these feelings, or do they have different ones? Or even more? Maybe he can ask the one with the black hair.

There’s another difficulty with the lack of night mode, which is that staring at the blurry, dark ceiling is not very stimulating. It makes him feel like going to sleep. But he can’t go to sleep, because if he does, something might happen. Something happened last night, so something might happen again. He doesn’t want anything else to happen. So he has to stay awake.

He thinks about this problem until his eyelids slip shut. He’s half asleep before he realises what’s happened. He jerks back awake, blinking and opening his eyes as wide as he can. This is not suitable. He needs to do something to keep himself awake.

He gets out of bed and goes to sit at the small table. If he could switch his vision to night mode, he could read one of the books Ignis gave him. He tries, just in case. But there’s no response from his system. He gets up and turns on the light. It makes him blink, and everything’s blurry. It takes him a moment to remember that he needs to wear the glasses to make his eyes focus correctly. So he fetches them and puts them on. Then he takes Royal Lucian Dictionary from the pile of books. There are still a lot of words he needs to learn the meaning of.

Before he can find one, though, the door opens. The silent one steps in and stands in the doorway, frowning at him.

“What’s going on?” he says. “The light’s on. You OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He looks at the silent one. The silent one looks at him.

“It’s after midnight,” the silent one says.

He waits for further information. But the silent one doesn’t say anything. The silent one waits for him to say something. But he doesn’t have anything to say.

“Yes,” he says.

The silent one stares a little more. Then he shakes his head. “You should be sleeping,” he says. “What is that? It must be pretty good if you’re staying up all night to read it.”

The silent one points at the book. He closes it so the silent one can see the title on the cover. The silent one frowns, then laughs quietly.

“Come on,” he mutters. Then he comes and stands by the table, gripping the back of the empty chair. “Something up?”

He looks up. But he can’t see anything except the ceiling. He looks back at the silent one.

“What kind of thing?” he asks.

The silent one smiles, then covers his mouth with his hand. “I mean – are you OK?” he asks. “Is something bothering you?”

He stares at the silent one. How does the silent one know that something’s bothering him? Does he know what it is? Does he know what happened last night? He wonders, suddenly, if there are other people who can read thoughts, not just the one with the black hair. Can the silent one do that?

“OK, OK,” the silent one says. “No need to look at me like that. I don’t bite, you know.”

The response seems – inconsistent. But the silent one doesn’t seem to require him to answer. Instead, he pulls out the empty chair and sits in it.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s OK,” he says. “But you can’t just read the dictionary all night, kid. You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

He stares at the silent one. The silent one stares back at him. He doesn’t want to go to sleep, but the silent one said he should. But – it wasn’t a command, or an instruction. The silent one just said he was supposed to be sleeping. He didn’t tell him to sleep. So – is there a way he can not go to sleep and still be obedient?

“Not tired, huh?” the silent one says while he’s still trying to think of a way.

“No,” he says, feeling a wash of gratitude for the reprieve.

The silent one nods. “OK, how’s this – we play a few hands of cards, until you’re tired, then you go to sleep. If you want, I can stay in the room and watch out for you. How’s that?”

“Yes,” he says. At least it’s a delay, even though the silent one says he’ll have to go sleep eventually.

“Rad,” the silent one says, pulling a pack of cards out of his pocket. “I look forward to losing both my shirt and my dignity.”

He stares at the silent one. The silent one laughs quietly.

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” he says. “You just concentrate on doing what you do.”

It’s a strange instruction, but an easy one to carry out. The silent one gives him a number of cards, and then they play.

~

It’s less than an hour later when the silent one pushes his chair back from the table.

“OK, enough,” he says. “I don’t think I can take any more of a beating. Besides, if Papa Bear finds me playing with you at this hour, it won’t be a metaphorical beating I have to worry about, if you know what I mean.”

He stares at the silent one. “No,” he says. He feels very tired. Thinking is quite difficult.

The silent one smiles. “Yeah, I know,” he says. “Come on, kid. Bed.”

There’s no way he can interpret this as anything other than an order, so he stands up and goes over to the bed. He lies down and stares at the ceiling. He wonders if he’ll be able to stay awake. He wonders what will happen if he doesn’t.

The silent one comes over and stands by the bed. He looks down at him. “You want me to stay?” he asks. “I can if it’ll help you relax.”

He doesn’t want the silent one to stay in the room. If something happens, the silent one will see, and then he’ll tell Cor. He doesn’t want that.

“OK, I’m going,” the silent one says, even though he hasn’t answered the question. “I’ll be right outside if you need me. OK?”

“Yes,” he whispers. The silent one leaves. He turns out the light on his way out.

He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. Everything’s blurry and dark again. But he can’t turn the light on because the silent one will see. He opens his eyes as wide as he can, and pinches his wrists over and over again.

But even so, he falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, it’s to a feeling of choking fear. The light’s grey now, daylight, and he’s been asleep. He’s been asleep and he doesn’t know what happened while he was asleep. What if something happened?

He lurches upright and pulls the covers off his legs, fumbling for the glasses so he can look at himself. His sleeping clothes are dry. His feet are clean and uninjured. His hands are clean. He looks around the room. The window is closed and there’s no evidence of footprints on the floor or any other disturbance. Everything looks just like it did the night before.

His sits, his heart beating painfully in his throat. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe everything is going to be all right now. Whatever happened the night before – maybe it won’t happen again.

“It won’t happen again,” he whispers. Then he becomes aware of something else. Voices.

He sharpens his hearing.

“–don’t know,” says the silent one. He’s downstairs in the kitchen. “He looked pretty freaked out, but I didn’t hear him having any nightmares. I checked on him a couple times and I’m pretty sure he was asleep.”

There’s a sigh. It’s Cor. Then there’s the sound of a chair scraping across the floor.

“OK,” Cor says. “Understood.”

A silence.

“Uh, permission to ask a question, sir?” the silent one says.

Cor sighs again. “It had better not be anything flippant, Crownsguard,” he says. “I’m not in the mood for bullshit right now.”

“No, I–” the silent one says. “I’m just – kinda worried about him, that’s all. I was just wondering – what you were going to do. If you were going to do anything. I mean, I know it’s none of my business, just–”

“No, it’s fine,” Cor says. There’s a pause. “I’ll talk to his therapist. She’s good at this shit, and I’m – really not. I have no idea what’s going on in that kid’s head.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, sir,” the silent one says. “It’s hard, this stuff. It’s hard with easy kids, let alone someone like Prompto.”

He stops listening. He doesn’t want to listen any more. He feels his throat burning, and he tries to swallow, but it doesn’t work. His eyes are blurry, and he thinks it’s because he needs to put the glasses on, until he realises he’s already wearing them. So it’s not that. So he’s crying. Why is he crying?

He blinks. The tears spill over and down his cheeks. He feels bad. But there’s no reason to feel bad. Except that – because he’s scared. That’s why. Because the silent one wanted to know what Cor was going to do about him being awake in the night. So Cor has to do something, and maybe that means Cor will correct him.

Except – he knows Cor won’t correct him. And he knows that’s not why he feels bad. But he doesn’t want to think about why he feels bad. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that Cor wishes he wasn’t so difficult. That Cor said that before, and he said it again just now. He’s trying not to be difficult, but he doesn’t know how. And the silent one thinks he’s difficult, too. But he doesn’t know how to stop being difficult. He doesn’t know how.

He hears footsteps coming up the stairs. He swallows and brushes away the tears from his cheeks and eyes. Then the door opens quietly and Cor comes in. He pauses in the doorway.

“You’re awake,” he says.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. He tries to make it sound normal, so Cor won’t know he’s been crying. He thinks crying is probably difficult. He thinks about the times he’s cried and Cor’s held him. He wonders if that’s why Cor thinks he’s difficult.

Cor comes and sits on the chair at the little table. “Arcis said you were up late last night,” he says. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, staring at him. “You have nightmares?”

“No,” he says. It’s true: he didn’t have nightmares. And he wants Cor to think nothing’s wrong. He has lots of reasons to want that.

Cor stares at him in silence for a moment. “Something else bothering you?” he asks.

His throat starts aching again, but he concentrates hard and it goes away. “No,” he says.

Cor doesn’t say anything. He sits still for a moment, then he sighs and sits up, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“OK,” he says. “But you know you can tell me anything, right? You understand that.”

“Yes,” he says. Cor doesn’t look happy. But he’s trying not to be difficult. He’s answering all the questions in the easiest way.

Cor nods. He looks tired. “OK,” he says, getting to his feet and turning towards the door. “Get dressed. You’ve got your appointment with the doc this morning.”

Yes. He has to go and see the one with the black hair. It’s on the schedule. But he hasn’t finished the assignment. He thought he would ask Noctis and Cor about affection. But when he mentioned it to Noctis, Noctis said he shouldn’t talk about it. So he definitely shouldn’t ask Cor, because surely that would make him difficult. But now he has to go and see the one with the black hair, and he hasn’t finished the assignment.

His thoughts go round and round in his head, and he starts to feel a tightness in his chest, like he can’t breathe. When he stands up, the room spins. He reaches out and grabs the table, and he manages not to fall down. Then he stands still and breathes carefully for a little while. Then, he sees the bag sitting on the floor beside the table. The bag with the strange, soft appendages. He picks it up and squeezes the spheroidal object. His fingers sink into the softness. He remembers the day before: the rain, and the tree, and all the good things that happened. It makes his chest feel less painful.

After a minute or two more, he feels almost normal. He puts down the bag, puts the fake eyes in his real eyes, and goes to get dressed.

~

It’s not until he’s opening the door to the room where the one with black hair lives that he realises something. If the one with black hair can read his mind, then she’ll know about – everything. About what happened two nights ago. His stomach feels like it turns over inside him, and he stops in the doorway, mouth open, trying to think – to think of some way – to–

“You OK?” Cor asks behind him.

He takes a deep breath. He has to go inside now. The one with black hair is watching him, waiting. And Cor’s watching, too. And he doesn’t have an explanation, doesn’t have any reason for why he can’t go inside. Not any reason that he can use. It’s too late.

It’s too late.

He goes inside. He closes the door and stands just inside it. The one with black hair is smiling. He doesn’t want to look at her. He tries to think of something other than what happened two nights ago, but the more he tries not to think of it, the more it fills his mind: the open window, his wet hair, the blood on his feet.

“Prompto?” the one with black hair says. “Are you all right?”

He looks at the floor; at the walls; at anything except her. Suddenly everything feels – too much. It’s too much. Even though nothing bad’s happened. Even though yesterday was good, and nothing bad happened then, either. But now–

“Prompto,” the one with the black hair says. She’s standing in front of him now, though he didn’t notice her moving. “Come and sit down.”

She takes him by the arm and leads him over to the chair where he sat before. It’s wide and comfortable. He sinks into it and blinks at the spots in front of his eyes. Does she know yet? Is she reading his thoughts now?

He has a sense, suddenly, of something ending. Of everything ending. Now. It’s going to end now. Not his life, but everything here, and somehow – somehow that feels worse. The sense of ending makes his stomach lurch, and he becomes aware that he’s sweating, but cold. He closes his eyes.

When he opens them, the one with the black hair is sitting in front of him, holding her phone in her hand. She’s moved the chair from behind the desk so that it’s in front of him. It’s a heavy chair – it must have been hard for her to drag it. But he didn’t notice. He didn’t hear her.

She’s looking at him with a slight frown. She doesn’t look angry. She doesn’t look like anything. She’s just looking at him.

When she sees him looking back, she nods.

“Do you want me to call someone?” she asks. “Cor?”

He swallows. He shakes his head. He doesn’t want to see Cor. He doesn’t want Cor to see him.

The one with the black hair nods again. “How are you feeling?” she asks.

He breathes in. But he doesn’t know how he’s feeling. He’s feeling bad. Very bad. But he can’t explain it.

The one with the black hair doesn’t say anything else. She holds out a glass of water, and he takes it and drinks some. His hand’s shaking, but he only spills a little. He feels – distant, like he did when he first came to this place. Like he’s not really inside his body any more.

The one with the black hair watches him for a few more moments. Then she puts her phone down and folds her hands on her lap.

“Prompto,” she says, “did something happen to you?”

He looks at her, and then looks away. Does she know about what happened two nights before? Why would she ask him, if she already knew? But if she doesn’t know, why is she asking if something happened?

“You don’t have to tell me what it was that happened, if you don’t want to,” the one with the black hair says. “But it would be useful for me to know if something specific happened, or if you just feel bad even though there’s no particular cause.”

He shakes his head. Everything is too much. Everything is too much. “Don’t you know?” he asks.

The one with the black hair doesn’t speak immediately. “How would I know unless you tell me?” she asks, after a short silence.

He looks at her now. She’s looking at him. Her expression is – neutral. But she looks very serious.

He swallows. “Can’t you – read my mind?” he asks.

The one with the black hair blinks, but her expression doesn’t change. “No, I can’t,” she says. “I only know what you tell me.”

He stares at her. She looks back at him. She doesn’t look away. She doesn’t say anything. She just waits.

And – something changes. All the thoughts that have been circling in his mind since the night before, getting louder and louder and going round and round and round – something changes. It feels like something breaking.

“Oh,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

The one with the black hair looks at him. Her face is still neutral. There’s no expression there. He can’t tell how she’s feeling. But – if she was angry, he would be able to tell. Wouldn’t he?

“Why do you think I can read your mind?” she asks.

He swallows. “Cor said it,” he says.

“He said I was a mind-reader?” she asks.

He nods. His head is starting to hurt. Cor said the one with the black hair was a mind-reader, but she says she isn’t. So – what’s right?

The one with the black hair doesn’t say anything for a long moment. The she gives a small nod. “Prompto,” she says, “all of this must seem very strange and confusing to you.”

He blinks. He didn’t expect her to say that. But she’s right. She’s right. Everything is strange and confusing, all the time.

“Here’s the problem, as far as I can tell,” the one with the black hair says. “We – the people that you meet every day – we have certain ways of doing things. Things that we do and say that we all understand, because it’s part of our culture. And that works very well for us, because we all know what we mean, and we don’t need to explain everything clearly because we all make certain assumptions. But you – you come from a different place. A different culture. And you don’t know all the things that we know. You don’t know the ways we have of doing things. So sometimes we say and do things, and you don’t understand what we mean or why we’re doing the things we’re doing.” She pauses. “Does this sound right so far?”

He nods. He can’t take his eyes off the one with the black hair. She’s explaining everything. She knows everything about him.

“Now, here’s the issue,” the one with the black hair says. “Because we’ve all grown up with the same ideas and the same assumptions, we don’t necessarily know what those ideas and assumptions are. It’s like–” She pauses, tapping her chin. “It’s like when I asked you to explain to me how you use your tactical elements. Your explanation was I just use them. You’re so used to using them that you don’t even know how you do it. And for us, many of the things you find confusing are just like that. We don’t even realise that they might be confusing to you, because to us they seem completely obvious. Like your tactical elements.”

His mouth opens a little. His thoughts, the thoughts that were circling and circling and getting louder and louder, seem to be being pushed onto a brand new track. A track where – things make sense. Where suddenly he’s understanding something that he didn’t understand before.

“So, the problem is that there’s an awful lot of context that you don’t have, but that we don’t know that you don’t have,” the one with the black hair says. “Do you agree?”

He nods rapidly enough to make the pain in his head increase. “Yes,” he says. “I don’t have enough – contextual data.”

“Precisely,” the one with the black hair says. “You don’t have contextual data, and the people you’re interacting with are not aware enough of their own assumptions to be able to guess which contextual data you might be missing.”

He stares at her. She makes it sound like it’s not – just him being stupid. That it’s not his fault, or not all his fault. The way she says it – it makes everything sound different.

She taps her chin again. “When someone says something you don’t understand, what do you do?” she asks.

He tries to think. “I – try to follow instructions,” he says.

“What if you don’t understand the instructions?” she asks. “Or if there are no instructions to follow?”

“I try to – guess what’s right,” he says.

She nods slowly. “You don’t ask for clarification?”

“Sometimes,” he says.

The one with the black hair shifts in her seat, frowning slightly. “Hm,” she says. “Why only sometimes? Do you think it’s bad to ask for clarification?”

“No,” he says. But it’s not true. Or – it’s not quite true. And he’s not allowed to not tell the truth. The one with the black hair gave him clear instructions that he could choose not to answer, but he couldn’t lie. “I–,” he says. But he doesn’t know how to explain it.

The one with the black hair looks at him. At first, when she was looking at him, it made him feel worse. But now it doesn’t. She keeps looking at him, all the time, and it’s strange. But then she says things – she understands things, even though he didn’t say them or couldn’t explain them. So it’s all right. It’s good. And – even though she said she couldn’t read his mind, he thinks she can. Somehow she knows things. But even though that might mean she’ll find out about what happened two nights before, for some reason that thought doesn’t make him feel sick and dizzy any more.

“Did anyone tell you that it was bad to ask questions?” the one with the black hair asks. “Someone here, I mean. In Lucis.”

Slowly, he shakes his head. “Cor says–” he says. Then he puts his hand in his pocket. He feels the paper in there.

“He told you it was OK to ask questions,” the one with the black hair says. “I remember that that was on the list he gave you. Is that right?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “And has anyone else given you any information on whether it’s all right to ask questions?”

“Yes,” he says. “Ignis said I could.”

“But sometimes you still don’t ask,” she says. “Why is that?”

“I – don’t know,” he says. When she says it that way – he doesn’t know. It seems stupid. There are so many things he doesn’t understand.

“Does the thought of asking questions make you feel scared?” she asks.

“I–” he says. But he doesn’t know. He’s not scared. He isn’t scared of Cor, not any more. And he isn’t scared of Ignis. But – but–

“Yes,” he says, without really meaning to. He hadn’t thought about it that way. But when he thinks about asking a question – yes. Sometimes he’s scared. Even though that doesn’t make any sense.

The one with the black hair nods. “Can you tell me why that is?” she asks.

Slowly, he shakes his head. The one with the black hair taps her chin.

“Do you think that something bad might happen if you ask questions?” she says. “For example, that someone might get angry or that you might be hurt?”

He thinks about it. “No,” he says. Cor sometimes looks angry when he asks questions, but – he’s not sure that Cor’s angry all the times he looks angry. He’s not sure. And he doesn’t think Cor will hurt him. Cor said he wouldn’t. And he doesn’t think Ignis or Noctis will hurt him. Or Gladio. Probably. So– But–

“If you’d asked questions in the place you were in before, what would have happened?” the one with the black hair asks.

“It–” he says, and then has to stop. He has to think about the answer. He thinks maybe it’s important, so he should make sure to get it right. “It depends on the question,” he says. “But mostly – it wasn’t good to ask questions.”

“Could you be punished for asking questions?” the one with the black hair asks.

There’s a moment – just a moment – where he thinks of something else. He thinks of lying on a table with a bright light in his eyes. He thinks of a painful pressure in his head. He only thinks of it for a moment, but in that moment, it’s like being there. He feels dizzy again.

“Yes,” he says. “Corrected.”

“Corrected,” the one with the black hair says. She writes something down. Then she looks at what she’s written. Then she nods.

“Then is it possible that you’re scared to ask questions because, even though you know that you won’t be – corrected, some part of your mind keeps forgetting that?” she asks.

He stares at her. “What – part?” he asks. He thinks about waking up with wet hair and the window open. He wonders how many parts of his mind there are.

“People who study the mind have concluded that there are some things that happen on the surface, that we’re aware of, and other things that happen at a deeper level, that we may not know about but that may still control our actions and feelings,” the one with the black hair says. “It’s not at all unusual for people to find themselves feeling and even doing things without knowing why, because of the parts of their mind that they’re not fully aware of.”

He stares at her. “What?” he whispers. But then – she says it like it happens to everyone. To humans as well. That humans don’t always understand what they’re feeling or doing. But – is that right?

The one with the black hair smiles. “Does that sound familiar, Prompto?” she says.

He swallows. If he says yes, maybe she’ll realise about what happened two nights ago. But maybe she knows already. And maybe – maybe it happens to humans, too, sometimes. Maybe it’s – maybe it’s something that just – happens.

“Yes,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods. “It’s a difficult thing,” she says. “Very difficult, to reorganise our minds so that these feelings can be managed. But the first step is to recognise that there’s something that we want for ourselves that requires us to manage the feelings. So, Prompto: would you like to have more contextual data?”

He doesn’t have to think about the answer. “Yes,” he says.

“Then let’s see if we can find a way to manage your feelings so that you feel able to ask questions,” the one with the black hair says. “Is that something you want to do?”

He opens his mouth to say yes. But then he remembers something. He wants to have contextual data – he wants it so badly it makes his stomach hurt. But –

“But Cor–” he says.

The one with the black hair waits a moment. “What about Cor?” she asks when he doesn’t speak.

“Cor – I’m – I’m difficult,” he says. “I don’t want to be difficult.” If he starts asking questions all the time, Cor will think he’s even more difficult. He doesn’t want Cor to think that.

The one with the black hair stops smiling. “Why do you think you’re difficult?” she asks.

He swallows. “I–” he says. He doesn’t know if he should tell the truth. But he’s not permitted to lie.

The one with the black hair waits again. Then she speaks. “Did someone tell you that you’re difficult?” she asks.

He shakes his head.

“Then – did you overhear someone say that?” the one with the black hair asks.

He looks down at his hands. He remembers hearing Cor say it, the first time. And again, this morning. It makes him feel – bad.

“Was it Cor that you overheard?” the one with the black hair asks.

He takes a deep breath. The one with the black hair always knows everything. “Yes,” he mutters. It’s important that the one with the black hair knows what Cor thinks, so that she knows why he can’t ask questions all the time.

It’s quiet. He’s still looking at his hands, so he doesn’t know if the one with the black hair is looking at him. But he thinks she probably is.

“What if I told you that you’re lacking a significant amount of contextual data about why Cor might have said that?” she asks.

He looks up, then. She is looking at him. Her face is neutral. She’s waiting.

“What contextual data?” he asks. He doesn’t think there can be contextual data. He’s difficult. Cor said it.

But the one with the black hair doesn’t tell him about the contextual data. Instead, she says, “Do you find it easy to understand Cor? What he’s thinking, why he does things?”

He shakes his head. He thought she knew that already. He doesn’t have the contextual data. And Cor’s confusing.

The one with the black hair nods. “That must be hard for you,” she says.

“Yes,” he says. It’s hard, all the time. He doesn’t understand so many things.

“So if you find it hard sometimes to deal with the fact that you don’t understand Cor very well, what does that mean about how you feel about Cor?” the one with the black hair says. “Do you feel something negative towards him?”

He frowns. “No,” he says. “I – feel affection for him.” He knows Noctis told him not to say that, but he’s not saying it to Cor, so maybe it’s all right.

The one with the black hair pauses and smiles. “I’m glad to hear it,” she says. “And we will certainly talk about that later. But for now – would you like to understand Cor better? Would that make everything easier for you?”

He nods. “Yes,” he says. He’d been hoping that she would give him some contextual data about Cor. But she’s not doing that.

The one with the black hair pauses. She looks like she’s thinking. When she speaks, she speaks slowly, like she’s thinking about what she says. “Do you think Cor finds it easy to understand what you’re thinking and why you do things?”

He blinks. He’d never considered the question before. “Yes,” he says. But then – is that right? He doesn’t think it can be right. Because – more than once, he’s heard Cor say things that – would mean it was wrong. That would mean that Cor doesn’t understand him. But then, why wouldn’t Cor understand him? So– “No,” he says. “I don’t – I’m not sure.”

The one with the black hair nods. “Given that you come from somewhere so very different, that seems logical,” she says. “Your assumptions and ways of doing things are just as confusing to us – to Cor – as our assumptions and ways of doing things are to you.”

He stares at her. Surely that’s not right? He’s confused – all the time. He doesn’t know anything, he doesn’t understand anything. He gets things wrong, he’s always getting things wrong. But Cor – Cor’s not like that. Cor doesn’t get things wrong. So – but –

“I think,” the one with the black hair says, “that Cor would like more contextual data about you just as much as you would like more contextual data about him. I’m not Cor, and I can’t read his mind, but I think that if you heard him saying you were difficult, he might well have meant that he finds it very hard to deal with the fact that he doesn’t understand your way of thinking and why you do the things you do. Just like it’s hard for you that you don’t understand those things about Cor.”

He feels – stunned. He can’t speak. It’s – logical. It is logical. It makes sense. Even though part of him thinks that surely Cor doesn’t feel like that, another part of him thinks that it makes sense. And that – and that it fits with some things that Cor’s said, that he hasn’t understood.

“Now, it’s hard for you to understand Cor, but you still don’t feel negatively towards him,” the one with the black hair says. “In fact, you feel positively towards him. Correct?”

He nods. His mind is spinning. He keeps his eyes on the one with the black hair. He’s never been so surprised by anyone before. He wants to know what she’ll say next.

“Well, then, isn’t it likely that even though Cor finds it hard to understand you, he doesn’t feel negatively towards you?” the one with the black hair says. “His lack of understanding doesn’t necessarily affect his feelings about you as a person. What do you think?”

What does he think? He thinks – he thinks maybe – he thinks – that Cor has feelings about him as a person. As a person. He thinks that there’s too much, all at once. But that – it fits. It all fits together, like components snapping into place. And that Cor – if maybe Cor doesn’t mean he’s bad when he says he’s difficult – if, if that’s true, then–

It feels like something in him lifts. A weight, in his stomach, in his chest. It lifts. He feels lighter. Not like before, when he felt disconnected. He feels – less bad. He didn’t even realise how bad he felt. But now he feels less bad. If it’s true. If it’s true.

“Is it true?” he asks. His voice sounds strange. He wants it to be true. And the one with the black hair – she knows everything. She knows things about him that even Ignis doesn’t know. So if she says it’s true–

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that,” the one with the black hair says. “Only Cor knows that for sure. But I do think it’s very likely. I would say the probability is at least ninety percent.”

Ninety percent. He doesn’t need his statistical element for something so elementary, but he engages it anyway. He queries, and it returns the answer: extremely probable. Extremely.

The one with the black hair sits back in her chair and looks at him. She doesn’t say anything. She just looks. He grips the arms of the chair he’s sitting in. His thoughts are loud. But they’re not going in circles any more. They’re going forward, very fast. He doesn’t think he’s ever thought so fast before. It’s dizzying.

“Can I – give Cor contextual data?” he asks. If it’s true – if it’s true and he gives Cor contextual data, then Cor won’t think he’s difficult any more. And then everything will be better.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “Well, as I mentioned, it’s a little difficult. The problem, you see, is that you don’t necessarily know what contextual data Cor is lacking. You’re so familiar with it that to you it doesn’t even seem like data at all.”

His stomach sinks. If it doesn’t even seem like data, how can he deliver it? How can he recognise it?

“But,” the one with the black hair says, “I think there might be a way to solve this.”

He sits up. “How?” he says.

“The contextual data that Cor doesn’t have about you is the counterpart to the contextual data you don’t have about him,” the one with the black hair says. “If you don’t understand something Cor says because you lack contextual data about his assumptions, that means you have different assumptions, and those assumptions are exactly the contextual data he’s lacking. So: if you ask questions when you don’t understand something, that will help Cor to understand what it is that he needs to know about you to make his experience of relating to you more straightforward.”

He stares at her. She said a lot of things, but it all followed on in a logical succession. He works through what she said in his mind, checking the links between each part. It makes sense. If everything she says is right, then – it makes sense. But–

“But isn’t asking questions – doesn’t it make me more difficult?” he asks. Surely it’s easier for Cor and everyone if he doesn’t bother them too much?

“I can see why you would think that, but I really do think that it’s the opposite,” the one with the black hair says. “If you ask questions, there’ll be fewer misunderstandings, and misunderstandings are the cause of many of your difficulties. Don’t you think? Or do you disagree?”

He does disagree. But – it doesn’t make sense to disagree. He feels like it’s wrong, but he can’t explain it logically. The one with the black hair explained it logically, and – it seems right. He can’t find a mistake. So why does he disagree?

“I – it doesn’t feel right,” he says. It’s a stupid thing to say. Feeling isn’t important. The one with the black hair made the logic clear.

But the one with the black hair doesn’t look angry, or tell him not to be stupid. She just nods. “I understand,” she says. “There are many times when we feel things that conflict with what seems to be reality. Sometimes our feelings are our best guide, but sometimes they prevent us from doing the best thing. Feelings are strange things, Prompto. Everyone has trouble with them.”

There: she said it again. She said that everyone – humans – has trouble. That humans don’t always feel the correct things. Even maybe humans like Cor and Ignis. And–

“Does that happen to you as well?” he asks.

The one with the black hair laughs. “Oh, all the time,” she says. “Unfortunately, being trained to recognise these phenomena in no way prevents one from experiencing them. It doesn’t even necessarily help me to distinguish when it would be best to follow my feelings and when I should ignore them. It’s just part of being a person, I’m afraid.”

Being a person. Before, the one with the black hair said Cor has feelings about him as a person. Is he a person? He’s different from humans. But – humans also feel things that don’t make sense sometimes. And get confused about things. Even the one with the black hair. So – what?

He doesn’t know. But he feels like – he knows more. Like his thoughts are moving forward instead of circling in his head. It feels better. It feels good.

The one with the black hair looks at him for a short time without saying anything. Then she smiles.

“This isn’t where I thought our conversation would go this morning,” she says. “I haven’t even asked you about your assignment yet. But if you don’t mind, I would like to give you part of your next assignment now, before we talk about your last one. Is that all right?”

“Yes,” he says. He sits up straight and waits for the assignment.

The one with the black hair writes something in her notebook. She tears out the page. Then she looks up at him.

“For the next twenty-four hours, every time you’re confused about something or don’t understand something, I want you to ask someone to explain it to you,” she says. “If your feelings start preventing you from fulfilling the assignment, I want you to look at this.” She holds out the paper. He takes it and reads it. It contains the assignment instructions, and below that, the logical reasoning that the one with the black hair explained earlier, about why it would make things less difficult if he asked questions. “If there’s something you really feel unable to ask about, for whatever reason, I want you to write down the question and your feelings about it. You don’t have to show it to anyone, but if you can if you want to. Tomorrow morning, I want you to call me and we can discuss how it went. Do you think you can do that?”

He reads the instructions and the reasoning again. The idea is – frightening. It makes him feel nauseated. But he understands the purpose. And he understands, now, what the one with the black hair said about managing feelings. Because if feelings are wrong sometimes and make things more difficult, then it would be good if he could – not have them, or not think about them. Then he wouldn’t feel nauseated. So he wants to learn that. And he wants the contextual data. And he wants to be less difficult. He wants all of that. So he swallows and looks at the one with the black hair and ignores the nausea and the way his heart’s beating too fast.

Can he do that?

“Yes,” he says.

Chapter 38

Notes:

Two things!

First, another song! By the very talented Wordsmythologic. It's a song that kind of summarises the whole fic so far, and I highly recommend you read the description on YouTube while you are listening. And also admire the adorable cactus :D

Secondly, a beautiful, colourful picture by NekoPositive of Prompto showing off his new clothes for all his adoring fans! (And Noct, heh.) Our boy has such a... unique sense of style ;) I love the different expressions and body language of all the characters in this. Thank you to both the artists! Please go and give them some love! And thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter -- your comments always put a giant smile on my face ♥

Chapter Text

When the one with the black hair has finished giving him the assignment, she sits and looks at him for a moment.

“How are you feeling right now?” she asks. “Do you feel calm, or anxious?”

He thinks about it. He feels – nervous about asking all the questions. But the one with the black hair has said so many things since he came in. He feels like he’s on the edge of something. Like something’s opening up. If he can just understand it – if the one with the black hair can tell him more things – or if she’s right, and asking the questions will make whatever it is open further. He doesn’t feel calm. But he’s not sure how he feels. Strange.

“I–” he says. He shakes his head. Last time, the one with the black hair told him what one of his feelings was called. She said it was affection. So maybe if he describes this one–

“I feel – not anxious,” he says. “But – my stomach’s – strange. Like there’s something moving in it. And my chest is – swelling.” He looks at her. It sounds strange, when he says it out loud. Maybe she’ll think that there’s something wrong with him. Maybe there is something wrong with him.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says, writing something down. “Is it a good feeling or a bad feeling?”

“It – um, good,” he says. “And – mostly good. And I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” the one with the black hair says. “Hm.” She taps her pen against her chin, looking at the things she’s written. “Do you feel – fidgety?”

He doesn’t know the word. He wonders whether to say yes or no, but then he remembers his assignment.

“What does it mean?” he asks.

The one with the black hair glances up at him. “Like you can’t sit still,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about it. “Yes.” It is difficult to sit still.

She looks at him with her head slightly on one side. Then she smiles. “You’re the least fidgety fidgety person I’ve ever seen,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. He wonders if that’s bad. Maybe he’s not fidgety, after all.

“Don’t worry, Prompto,” the one with the black hair says. “All I’m saying is that you must have excellent self-control.”

“Oh,” he says again. Excellent self-control is good. He wonders how she knew he was worried.

“Now, what are you thinking about?” the one with the black hair says. “Are you just thinking about what we’re talking about right now? Or are you having other thoughts as well? Perhaps things that are distracting you?”

He considers this. “I’m thinking about what we’re talking about,” he says. “But also – about the assignment. Asking the questions.” He thinks it’s all right to think about the assignment, since she was the one who gave it to him.

The one with the black hair nods. “And when you think about the assignment, is it then that you get the strange feeling in your stomach and chest?” she asks. “Or do you feel it less then?”

He tries thinking about the assignment as an experiment. Immediately, he starts to feel more – fidgety. How did she know that was going to happen?

“When I think about the assignment,” he says. “Yes. I feel it more then.”

The one with the black hair’s smile widens. “I could be wrong,” she says, “but I think you might be excited about the assignment.”

He turns the word over in his mind. Excited. Is that what it is? He’s felt something similar before – after the first time he saw the park, when Cor told him to look after the plants and said they’re yours. And other times, too. Not exactly the same. But similar. He wants to ask Cor if he sometimes feels excited and what it feels like. And he wants to ask Ignis and Noctis. But then he remembers that Noctis told him not to talk about affection. So maybe he shouldn’t talk about excited, either.

“That reminds me,” the one with the black hair says. “What about your last assignment? How did you find it?”

He remembers that he didn’t finish the assignment, and the swelling feeling in his chest goes away. He feels bad. But he doesn’t feel as bad as he did before. Because he thinks now – maybe the one with the black hair won’t be very angry with him. Because she doesn’t seem to get angry. She just smiles and is calm. And she thinks a lot. And she knows everything about him, even sometimes before he knows.

He takes a deep breath. “I didn’t finish it,” he says.

“Oh?” the one with the black hair says. “How far did you get?”

“I – looked it up in Royal Lucian Dictionary and then I looked up all the words I didn’t know in the explanation,” he says. “I think it was right. And then I thought about what it would mean if it was right, and I thought it would mean that Ignis felt affection for Noctis. So I asked him if he did and he said yes.” He looks at her, feeling nervous again, but without any good feelings this time. “And I was going to ask Noctis if he felt affection for Ignis so I could understand better, but I – didn’t.”

The one with the black hair smiles. “Well, it sounds to me like you did an excellent job of the assignment and then continued to do further research that you designed yourself,” she says. “I’m very pleased with your performance.”

It takes him a moment to understand what she said, because it’s so different from what he expected. Then he sits up a little. “Pleased?” he says.

“Yes, very pleased,” the one with the black hair says. She’s still smiling. “I’m very happy to see you throwing yourself into your homework like this, Prompto. I think it shows some excellent prospects for your progress.”

He stares at her. He understood all the words, and even the meaning. But he – didn’t expect it. He can’t remember anyone commending him like that before. Not so strongly. And he feels – a swelling in his chest again. But not the same as before. He feels warm, and amazed, and his chest swells. He wants to – do something to make the one with the black hair even more pleased. But he doesn’t know what to do, except answer her questions and try to think about the things she tells him to think about. So he focuses on doing that as well as he can.

“Let’s start at the beginning,” the one with the black hair says. “Did you decide whether what you feel for Cor is affection?”

“Yes,” he says. “I think it is.” He wanted to learn more, but he couldn’t ask Noctis or Cor. Still, he thinks it’s right.

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. “I’m sure as you learn more about your emotions and other people’s, you’ll be able to test that further. Now, did you think about whether you might feel affection towards anyone else?”

“Yes,” he says. “I think – Ignis and Noctis.” He thinks about Gladio, and the night-time silent one. He isn’t sure. He feels something towards them both, but – it’s not as strong. So he doesn’t know. And the one with the black hair – he feels something towards her. But he doesn’t know if it’s the same. It feels more like – amazement.

“Very good,” the one with the black hair says, writing something down. She’s still smiling. “So. You said that you plan to ask Prince Noctis about his feelings?”

He swallows. “No,” he says. The one with the black hair doesn’t seem to think it was bad that he asked Ignis about affection, but– “He said – I shouldn’t talk about it.”

The one with the black hair looks up. Her eyebrows are raised. “Prince Noctis said that?” she says.

“Yes,” he says.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “Could you tell me exactly what happened?”

“I told Noctis I feel affection for him,” he says, “and then he said I couldn’t say that because it was weird. So then – I didn’t ask him.”

The one with the black hair puts her pen down. She purses her lips, then smiles.

“You told him you feel affection for him?” she says.

He presses his fingertips into his thighs. “Yes,” he says. “I didn’t know it wasn’t permitted.”

The one with the black hair looks at him for a moment. Then she speaks. “I think I need to give you some more contextual data about Prince Noctis,” she says. “You see, even though we’re all from the same culture, different members of our culture will behave in different ways, often depending on things like how old they are or whether they’re male or female.”

He stares at her. He knows that different humans behave in different ways. Cor and Ignis and Noctis and Gladio all behave differently. They even talk differently. But the idea that whether they’re male or female might make a difference is – surprising.

“What do you mean, how old they are?” he asks. He’s supposed to ask questions whenever he doesn’t understand something for the next twenty-four hours. The one with the black hair was the one who gave him the assignment, so he’s not even very nervous about asking the question.

“How many years old,” the one with the black hair says.

He’s not sure what the response signifies. Now it’s difficult: according to the assignment he should ask for clarification, but then the one with the black hair will think he’s functioning poorly, since she already explained it to him. He hesitates. But then the one with the black hair speaks again, so he doesn’t have to ask.

“How many years it’s been since someone was born,” she says. She looks surprised for a second, but then the expression disappears. “Do you know what a year is?”

He’s heard the word year several times before. And he remembers that Noctis told him how many years means how much time.

“It means time,” he says.

“That’s right,” the one with the black hair says. She looks surprised again, and again the expression disappears very quickly. “A year is a specific span of time – 365 days. We measure the passage of time in our lives in years. In particular, we measure how old a person is by how many years it is since they were born.”

“Oh,” he says. It’s an interesting way to classify humans. He wonders how they keep track of every 365 days. It’s a strange number. He thinks 300 would be mathematically more pleasing, and easier to divide into equal lengths of time.

“You didn’t know that?” the one with the black hair asks.

“No,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods and writes something down. She’s stopped smiling. She looks at what she’s written and purses her lips again. Then she takes a deep breath and looks up. She smiles again.

“Well,” she says, “when people are young – when they’re not very many years old – they’re generally quite inexperienced and lacking in knowledge. As they get older, they tend to gain experience and knowledge. We call people who are less than thirteen years old children, and between the age of thirteen and nineteen we call them teenagers.”

He nods. The categories for classification are of unequal lengths. It seems poorly thought out. “How many years do humans live before they die?” he asks. He wonders if there’s another category after teenagers or if humans die when they’ve been alive for nineteen years.

“Hm, it depends,” the one with the black hair says. “If there are no accidents or illnesses, most humans live to somewhere between seventy and a hundred years.”

A hundred years is 36,500 days. It’s a lot. If humans keep learning more things as they get older, he thinks that humans who are a hundred years old must know a lot of things.

“Now,” the one with the black hair says, “Prince Noctis is – I believe he’s fifteen years old – so he’s a teenager. And he’s male, so we say he’s a teenage boy. And teenagers – teenage boys in particular – tend to have some quite specific types of behaviour that I think it would be useful for you to know about.”

He nods. It seems strange that some of the way Noctis behaves should be because he’s male and it’s fifteen years since he was born. Fifteen years is 5,475 days. So Noctis should live for at least another 20,075 days. That’s good. He’s glad that humans live longer than nineteen years.

“First of all,” the one with the black hair says, “teenage boys generally don’t like talking about their emotions – or anyone else’s, for that matter. They’re very easily embarrassed.”

He nods again. He already knows Noctis doesn’t want to talk about emotions. “What does embarrassed mean?” he asks.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. She stops talking and sits with a thoughtful look on her face. “Well, let’s simplify it a little. Humans have – particular ways of thinking about themselves,” she says. “A self-image. Often, the self-image is not necessarily what we are, but what we would like to be. When something contradicts that self-image, we become embarrassed. For example, if my image of myself is someone who is very graceful, or I wish to project the image of being graceful, if I were to trip over in front of people whose opinion I care about, I would be embarrassed. Does that make sense?”

He thinks about it. It sounds logical, if he accepts the premise of the self-image. But that seems strange, especially if the self-image isn’t always correct. And he can’t imagine what it feels like, to be embarrassed. If he tripped over in front of people, he would be frightened. It would make him appear as though he wasn’t functioning correctly. But it can’t be the same as being frightened, or the one with the black hair would have said so.

“Does it feel bad?” he asks.

“Yes,” the one with the black hair says.

He thinks about the idea. He thinks about people whose opinion I care about. He wonders if it’s like when he doesn’t want Cor to think he’s stupid. But then he doesn’t have a self-image of himself as someone who isn’t stupid. He thinks he’s much more stupid than he wishes he was. But then – is that the same?

“Is it like being scared?” he asks. When he says something stupid, he gets scared of what the response will be. Not so much any more. But he still doesn’t want to say stupid things, because he doesn’t want Cor to think he’s stupid. Is it like that?

“Not exactly,” the one with the black hair says. “But it is unpleasant in a somewhat similar way. And it certainly involves some anxiety.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.”

“Do you understand what I mean?” the one with the black hair asks.

Slowly, he shakes his head. “Maybe some things,” he says. “I don’t know how it feels.”

“Well, that may take some time,” the one with the black hair says. “The important part is that you understand that generally, as we grow older, we care less and less about what other people think of us. But teenagers – because they’re so young, among other things – have particularly fragile self-images. They often have a strong desire to appear knowledgeable, experienced, and emotionally unaffected by the things that happen around them, even if in fact they’re quite the opposite. Do you understand what I’ve said so far?”

He thinks about it. He understands all the words, and the concepts, even if it’s hard to understand why someone would behave in that way. “Yes,” he says.

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. “Now, we come to the key point. When Prince Noctis tells you something, it may not be very reliable. Given how important it is that you acquire accurate contextual data, I think you need to bear that in mind at all times.”

He stares at her. “You mean – he might lie?” he asks. He remembers thinking about it before: Noctis telling him that the water was dark to hide the fish, and then Cor telling him it wasn’t the truth. His stomach sinks at the idea that Noctis might lie to him.

“Not exactly,” the one with the black hair says. “But what he says might be misleading, not because he’s intending to mislead you, but because he’s so focused on maintaining his self-image in front of you and others that he forgets how important it is to be open and clear. For example, he might answer a question with a mistaken answer because he doesn’t know the actual answer but he doesn’t want to look ignorant.”

He looks at her. She looks back, smiling a little. And he thinks: yes. That’s what he does. Sometimes, when he doesn’t know the answer to something, he pretends he does. But that’s because he’s scared. Noctis isn’t scared. He’s embarrassed. But even so – it’s the same. It’s partly the same. And when he does it, it’s not because he’s trying to lie. It’s just because he’s scared. So he can understand, even if it’s not exactly the same. He can understand why Noctis might not always say accurate things.

“Yes,” he says. It’s good, to know that Noctis didn’t lie to him about the fish. Maybe he just didn’t know the real reason. He thought that all humans knew things. But the one with the black hair says they have to be older than nineteen years before they know things. He wonders how old Ignis is. And Cor. Older than nineteen years, at least.

“Now, another thing that teenage boys are embarrassed by is emotions,” says the one with the black hair. “Not because they don’t feel them – in many cases, because they feel them too much. But they like to pretend that they’re unemotional, calm in every situation. When Prince Noctis told you not to talk about your affection for him, it was because he found it embarrassing.”

“Oh,” he says. It seems like a strange thing to be concerned about. Humans have emotions – that’s normal. It’s not like MT units. Noctis doesn’t have to pretend he doesn’t have emotions – he’s supposed to have emotions.

“In actuality, it’s generally very healthy to display and discuss your emotions,” the one with the black hair says. “I’m very pleased that you expressed your affection to Prince Noctis. I want you to ignore anything he says about not expressing your emotions. Remember that he’s speaking from a very particular perspective that is not necessarily a well-informed one.”

“Oh,” he says again. It’s not easy to accept all the things the one with the black hair is saying. Noctis is a human, so he ought to follow his orders. And he said not to talk about affection. But – the one with the black hair ranks higher than Noctis, and she says that he should talk about his emotions. And that he shouldn’t always follow Noctis’ orders. So Noctis is a human who he doesn’t have to obey. But he didn’t know there was that kind of human. It’s a lot of new things to think about, all at the same time.

The one with the black hair sits and smiles at him. She waits and doesn’t say anything. He tries to think about all the new things. But it’s a lot of things to think about. Even though everything the one with the black hair says is interesting and she provides a lot of new data, he starts to hope she isn’t going to ask him any more questions.

“Well, I think that might be enough for now,” the one with the black hair says.

He stares at her. She said she couldn’t read his thoughts, but… can she?

“I want to say one thing to you, and then I’ll give you the rest of your assignment and you can go,” the one with the black hair says. “The thing I want to say is this: when you thought about affection and what it meant, you decided that it was likely that Ignis felt affection for Prince Noctis. Correct?”

“Yes,” he says.

“And you were right,” the one with the black hair says. “So: you had some understanding of what Ignis might feel, even though he’d never told you about that particular aspect of his feelings. You were able to deduce it from his manner and behaviour. Correct?”

He thinks about why he thought Ignis might feel affection for Noctis. “Yes,” he says. He thought Noctis and Ignis were affiliated because of the way they behave. And then when he asked Ignis, Ignis confirmed it. “Yes,” he says again.

The one with the black hair smiles very wide. “So it sounds like you have some skills in understanding what people are feeling, even if they don’t tell you,” she says. “That’s very promising.”

He stares at her. Is that what he did? He thinks about it. Yes, it makes sense. He did that. But he didn’t think about it. He just did it. It wasn’t logical.

“I’ll let you into a secret, Prompto,” the one with the black hair says. “That’s all I do. When Cor said I was a mind-reader, that’s what he meant. That I have well-developed skills in being able to understand people’s feelings, even if they haven’t told me about them. It’s not that I have some kind of ability that is beyond what you might be able to do. It’s exactly the same as what you did with Ignis. I’ve just had a great deal more practice and training than you have.”

He frowns. It doesn’t make sense. He’s seen what the one with the black hair can do. Her ability is – inexplicable. It’s nothing like him thinking that Ignis and Noctis are affiliated. He doesn’t think it’s like that. And–

“But why did Cor say it if it wasn’t true?” he asks.

“Ah,” the one with the black hair says. “Well, now we come to your assignment. Aside from asking questions for the next twenty-four hours, I want you to find out about two emotions and one expression. The emotions are embarrassment and excitement. Do you need me to write them down?”

He nods. He can remember the words, but it would be good to have written instructions, in case he needs to refer to them. The one with the black hair starts writing, then pauses.

“The expression is figure of speech,” she says. “I want you to do some research into what it means and find some examples.” She tears off the page and holds it out to him. “Do you think you can do that?”

He takes the page. “Yes,” he says. He needs to check the schedule to find out how long he has to complete the assignment. But if he doesn’t have very long, he’ll just work harder.

The one with the black hair nods. “Don’t be concerned if you don’t finish everything,” she says. “The important thing is that you at least make a start.”

“Yes,” he says, even though he thinks that sounds strange. Why give him an assignment if it doesn’t matter if he finishes it? But he understands the instructions.

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. “In that case, I’ll speak to you tomorrow morning.” She smiles. “I enjoyed our conversation, Prompto.”

That’s surprising. It’s been a long conversation, and she’s told him a lot of things. He didn’t think at all about enjoyment. But he’s glad she’s pleased. It makes him feel warm.

“Yes,” he says. “It was interesting.”

The one with the black hair’s smile widens. “It certainly was,” she says.

Then he gets up and goes outside. The night-time silent one has gone and the daytime silent one is waiting outside. Cor’s waiting, too. He looks up when he comes out.

“All right?” Cor says. “You feel OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks about what the one with the black hair said – that it’s desirable to express feelings, even though Noctis said it wasn’t. “I feel – interested,” he says. He feels other things, too, but interested is the dominant feeling and also the one he finds easiest to describe.

Cor frowns at him. “Yeah?” he says. “That’s – good. That’s good, kid.”

He nods. Cor puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “I’m just gonna talk to the doc a moment, OK?” he says. “You wait here with Lacertus.”

“Yes,” he says. He sits in the chair Cor points at and waits. Cor goes into the room where the one with the black hair lives and closes the door. He thinks about the one with the black hair. About what she said about Ignis. How he was right about Ignis having affection for Noctis. And he thinks about how she commended him. No-one’s ever commended him so strongly. It makes him feel good to think about it. He’s got a lot of new things to think about. But then he hears Cor start talking, so he starts listening instead of thinking.

“Hi, Doc,” Cor says. He hears him sitting down. “I know you’re not going to tell me anything the kid said, but I just wanted – he seem OK to you? Because he had a bad night. Trouble sleeping. But he wouldn’t talk to me about it.”

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “We didn’t discuss any sleeping problems. But let me ask you a question, Marshal: do you talk to him?”

“Huh?” Cor says. “You mean like – uh, yeah. I don’t – get what you’re asking.”

“You said he wouldn’t talk to you about how he was feeling,” the one with the black hair says. “I wondered if you ever talk to him about how you’re feeling?”

“I – what?” Cor says. “I mean – I don’t see how that’s relevant. My feelings aren’t the issue here.”

“Aren’t they?” the one with the black hair says. “Do you think Prompto will be able to learn about how to deal with his feelings without seeing his role models demonstrate how they deal with theirs?”

There’s a pause. “Uh – listen, Doc,” Cor says, “I get where you’re going with this, but I’m pretty sure I’m exactly the wrong guy to be any kind of role model when it comes to dealing with feelings.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate, given that you’re the most important person in Prompto’s life,” the one with the black hair says.

There’s a silence. Cor coughs and then clears his throat.

“Marshal, let me be clear with you,” the one with the black hair says. “I can talk to Prompto all day, but unless he sees the people he cares about setting examples for him, his progress is likely to be very slow.”

“Yeah, but–” Cor says. His voice sounds odd, and he pauses and clears his throat again. “Yeah, OK,” he says. “I get it.”

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. “To answer your question, I do think it would be a good idea to keep a close eye on him – but I don’t think I need to tell you that.”

Cor makes a noise that’s almost a laugh. “Yeah. Not every kid has his own Crownsguard escort following him around.”

“That’s not what I meant, Marshal,” the one with the black hair says. Then she sighs. “Talk to him, and then perhaps he’ll return the favour.”

“Got it,” Cor says. He stands up. “I came in here to ask for your advice,” he says. “How come I feel like I just got called to the Principal’s office?”

The one with the black hair laughs. “I have that effect on some people,” she says. “Mostly adults. They’re much easier to handle than teenagers.”

Cor snorts. “You got that right,” he says. “OK. See you next time.”

The door opens and Cor comes back out. He looks down at him, frowning.

“Uh – I, uh – you OK, kid?” he says, then closes his eyes for a second and sighs.

“Yes,” he says. He already told Cor he was OK. It wasn’t very long ago.

“Good, that’s – great,” Cor says. “I–” He looks like he’s about to say something, but then he glances at Lacertus, pinches the bridge of his nose, and shakes his head. “You’re gonna be late,” he says. “What’s next on the schedule?”

He takes the schedule out of his pocket and smooths it on his knee. He’s been trying to keep it in good condition, but having it folded in his pocket is not ideal. He memorised it the evening before, but it’s important to refer to it in case of recall error.

“Music appreciation,” he says. “Ignis Scientia.” He wonders what Scientia means.

Cor smiles a little. “Sounds good,” he says. “Good way to unwind after therapy. Come on, then.”

He stands up. Cor puts a hand on his back to steer him. Even though he knows the way to where Ignis lives now, Cor’s hand feels warm and solid on his back, so he’s glad Cor put it there.

He remembers his assignment when they’re halfway to the place where Ignis lives. He already thought of a question and he didn’t ask it. He’d better ask it immediately, before he forgets.

“What does Scientia mean?” he asks.

Cor glances at him. “Huh?” he says.

Scientia,” he says. “It’s on the schedule. Music appreciation: Ignis Scientia.”

“Oh,” Cor says. “It’s just Ignis’ last name.”

“Oh,” he says. But he still doesn’t understand. So that means he has to ask another question. If he doesn’t ask it, he’s not fulfilling his assignment. He takes a deep breath.

“What’s a last name?” he asks.

Cor stops walking and looks at him. He stops walking, too. He feels nervous. He has to complete his assignment, and the one with the black hair said it was better to ask more questions. That it would help. Her explanation was logical. But even so, he still can’t quite believe it’s better. That Cor won’t think he’s stupid or be angry.

“Guess no-one’s explained that to you, huh?” Cor says.

“No,” he says.

Cor nods. He’s frowning. “Sorry, kid,” he says. He doesn’t sound angry. “Lot of stuff I should have explained earlier. OK, listen: people generally have at least two names: a first one and a last one. You mostly use the first one when you’re talking to people you know well, but you might use the last one for people you don’t know very well. Got it?”

“Yes,” he says. It seems odd to have different names based on how well someone knows you, but he understands the explanation.

“OK,” Cor says. “So Ignis’ last name is Scientia, but you don’t need to use that because you know him well. Make sense?”

“Yes,” he says again. He thinks about the schedule. When he was memorising it, he saw that there was an unfamiliar word or two words after the name of each person listed. It took him a long time to memorise the unfamiliar words. But he knows them: Ignis Scientia. Gladio Amicitia. Noctis Lucis Caelum. Cor Leonis.

“Is your last name Leonis?” he asks.

Cor smiles at him. “Figured that out already, huh?” he says. “You’re a smart kid.”

He blinks. Not only did asking the questions not make Cor think he was stupid, it made Cor think he was smart. It’s the opposite of what he thought. The one with the black hair was right. She’s been right about everything so far.

“OK, here we go,” Cor says. “Music appreciation.”

He opens the door to Ignis’ apartment and goes in. Cor follows him. Ignis is sitting at his table looking at his computer. He looks up and smiles.

“Ah, our new scholar,” he says. “And – I see your school bag is everything Noctis said it was.”

He looks down at the bag. It looks even more yellow in Ignis’ apartment than it did in the place they went to get it. He still doesn’t know what the bag is for.

“OK, I’ll let you take it from here,” Cor says. “I’ll be back for lunch. Want to try that steak pie.” He turns to him. “Have a good day, kid,” he says. Then he stands there and stares at him.

“Yes,” he says, when it seems like Cor’s waiting for something. But Cor doesn’t do anything. Just keeps staring. He starts to feel nervous. Why is Cor staring at him?

“So, I–” Cor says. Then, suddenly, he reaches out and grabs him by the shoulder, pulls him forward, and puts his arms around him. It’s surprising. He didn’t expect Cor to do that. Cor squeezes him tightly, then lets go before he’s really had time to get used to the fact that Cor’s holding him.

“OK,” Cor says. He nods. “See you later.”

Then Cor goes. He closes the door behind him.

He turns and looks at Ignis. Ignis looks like he should be smiling, but he isn’t.

“It’s not every day that you start a whole new phase in your life,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. Then he remembers his assignment. He tries to remember all the things he’s wondered about since arriving at Ignis’ apartment. “What’s the bag for?” he asks.

“Hm?” Ignis asks. He’s gone to stand by the device that plays music. “Your school bag? It’s for your books and papers and so on. To make it easier for you to transport them around.”

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t put any of the books in the bag. He didn’t put anything in the bag at all. “Should I have brought the books with me?”

“Which books?” Ignis asks. “Oh – your dictionary, et cetera?”

“Yes,” he says.

“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be carrying those books around everywhere,” Ignis says. “They’re too heavy. Now. I’ve got you some supplies.” He waves at the small table in front of the couch. There are a number of objects arranged on it. A thin book, a thicker book, a pad of paper, a number of writing implements. They’re arranged with all the edges lined up. It’s pleasing to look at.

He goes and sits down on the couch. He looks at the supplies. The pad of paper is blank. The cover of the thin book reads Student’s Notebook. The thicker book has an image on the front of a human standing with his arms raised. He’s holding a thin stick in one hand and has an angry expression on his face. Underneath the image, the cover reads Introduction to the Great Composers. Then there are the implements: pens, pencils, and some other objects he doesn’t recognise. He picks up one – a square white object approximately eight millimetres thick – and looks at Ignis.

“What’s this?” he asks.

Ignis looks over. “It’s an eraser,” he says. “If you write in pencil and make a mistake, you can use it to erase the pencil marks.”

He stares at the eraser. If he makes a mistake, he can use the eraser to remove the mistake. Maybe he could even do it before anyone knew he’d made a mistake. He tightens his grip on the eraser. Then he puts it down in the exact spot where he found it. But he keeps his eye on it for a moment. He doesn’t know why he’s going to be writing things. But Ignis said he got these writing implements and paper for him. So he will be writing things. He hopes he’ll be permitted to always write in pencil.

Then he looks at the other implements. Most of them are pencils. But they’re all different colours. He sees that the leads are different colours, too. He wonders if they write in different colours. He wonders what the function of writing in different colours would be. He thinks it would look interesting. Maybe every word could be in a different colour. It would be interesting.

He looks up to ask Ignis about the pencils, but then Ignis turns on the music device and turns to look at him.

“I thought we’d start with your favourite,” he says. “Argentum. I don’t think you’ve heard this piece before. I want you to close your eyes and listen.”

So he doesn’t ask about the pencils. Instead, he closes his eyes and listens. The music is smooth and and gets louder and softer gradually. It makes him think of long, smooth lines. Or of the water in the river, the way some parts of it flowed smoothly over rocks. There are several different musics inside the music. One music is deeper and somehow rounder, and another music is higher and sounds lighter, like it might fly away. There’s a music in the middle that is the smoothest of all. The whole effect is different from the effect of listening to all the individual musics. It’s interesting.

But he’s also interested in Argentum. Because Cor said people have at least two names. His two names are Cor and Leonis. Leonis is the name for when people don’t know him very well. But Argentum only has one name. And he only has one name, too. He doesn’t know if Argentum is a first name or a last name. And he doesn’t know if Prompto is a first name or a last name. Or if maybe some people only have one name. Maybe he only has one name because he’s an MT unit. But Argentum isn’t an MT unit. He doesn’t think an MT unit could make music like this.

The music ends and he opens his eyes. He forgot to listen very hard to the last part because he was thinking about names. Ignis is sitting opposite him, looking at him.

“What did you think of that?” he asks.

He opens his mouth. “Is Argentum a first name or a last name?” he asks. He should have answered Ignis’ question, but he needs to make sure he fulfils his assignment.

Ignis looks surprised. “It’s a last name,” he says. “Argentum’s first name was Cantor.”

“Oh,” he says. He thought that maybe Argentum only had one name, like he does. “So you don’t know him very well?”

“Argentum?” Ignis says, raising his eyebrows. “I don’t know him at all. He’s been dead for more than a hundred years.”

“Oh,” he says again. A hundred years is 36,500 days. It’s a long time. As long as a human normally lives. So even the oldest human wouldn’t have ever met Argentum. So nobody alive would have met him.

It’s a dizzying thought. He’s never really considered it before: that people die, and after they’ve been dead for a long time, there’s nobody alive who ever knew them. He wouldn’t have thought about it before. It wouldn’t have been relevant. But now he thinks about it, because of the name. Because now he knows how long humans live for. And now nobody is alive who knows Argentum well, so nobody uses his first name any more. Does that happen to everyone after they die?

“What about Prompto?” he asks.

Ignis starts to look confused. “What about Prompto?” he asks. “What is it that you wanted to know?”

“Is Prompto a first name or a last name?” he asks. Maybe Prompto doesn’t work the same way, because it’s an MT unit name. Except MT units don’t have names, they have designations.

“It’s a first name,” Ignis says. “It’s your first name.”

He nods. It makes sense. The people who call him Prompto mostly know him well. Better than anyone has ever known him. But then–

“How can I have a first name if I don’t have a last name?” he asks. First and last are relative. Something can’t be first if there’s nothing for it to precede.

“Ah,” Ignis says, pushing his glasses further up on his nose. “Well – your case is rather unusual, I admit. But I do think you will acquire a last name eventually.”

“How will I acquire it?” he asks. He acquired the name Prompto from Noctis. Maybe Noctis can give him a last name, too.

Ignis is looking surprised again. “You have a lot of questions today,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He feels suddenly nervous. The one with the black hair ordered him to ask questions. But even so, he doesn’t know for sure that it won’t make Ignis angry. Even though he thinks it won’t. But he doesn’t know for sure.

“That’s good,” Ignis says then. “I’m glad to see you feel able to ask.”

He swallows. Ignis is glad. Just like Cor commended him earlier when he asked about names. It’s good. He feels better. But the remains of the nervousness is still making his stomach ache.

“As for your last name,” Ignis says, “I imagine you’ll choose it for yourself, as you did with your first name.”

He nods. That makes sense. Even though Noctis gave him the name, he did have to confirm it. He thinks about how he might be able to choose a last name. He doesn’t know any last names except the ones on the schedule. But he can’t choose those because they already belong to people – to Ignis and Gladio and Noctis and Cor. And he doesn’t know any other last names. Except Argentum.

His thoughts circle back around. Argentum. Argentum’s been dead for over a hundred years. So would it be all right to use that last name? It feels strangely fitting, because even though Argentum once had a first name, nobody uses it now. So it’s like Argentum only has a last name, and he only has a first name. If he puts them together, then there’ll be a sense of completion. It’s not quite logical, but somehow it feels – like it fits. And Argentum makes him think of music, of the smooth music like the water in the river, that fills up his ears and his mind and his heart.

Prompto Argentum. It sounds like it fits. It reminds him of Cor, who gave him the red drink, and Noctis, who gave him the name, and Ignis, who played the music for him. It fits.

“Can I choose Argentum?” he asks.

Ignis looks surprised again. He looks surprised a lot today. “Argentum?” he says. “Like the composer?”

“Yes,” he says. “Is it permitted?”

“Well, I–” Ignis says. “You see, there are certain – relationships that last names – I think perhaps you should wait and talk to Cor.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yeah.” It makes sense. Cor needs to decide if he can choose a last name, and which name he can choose. But if he can, he thinks he’ll choose Argentum. Prompto Argentum.

“Do you have any more questions?” Ignis asks.

He shakes his head. Ignis nods and stands up.

“In that case, I want you to listen to this piece,” he says.

He touches a button on the music device and music fills the room. It doesn’t sound like Argentum music this time. The music is less smooth, more spiky, and the musics inside the music go less well together. He closes his eyes and listens. And in the back of his mind, he hears two words, repeating in time with the music.

Prompto Argentum. Prompto Argentum. Prompto Argentum.

Chapter 39

Notes:

Whew! It's been a while, huh? But here we are! I want you all to know that all of the things I originally planned to put into this chapter didn't end up in there (or in a couple of cases did but only in significantly abbreviated form), and all the things that did actually happen in this chapter were pretty much not what I intended at all. So, make of that what you will. But before we go on, I have several fanworks to show you!

First of all, Wordsmythologic has been super busy making songs for this fic, a fact which makes me very happy. There are three new ones! The first one is about Noct and Prompto's relationship, the second is about Prompto's nightmares, and the third is about radial symmetry and all of the other little things Prompto loves. One thing I really enjoy about Wordsmythologic's songs is that the theme of the song is represented in the song's structure and choice of instruments as well as the actual melody itself. I highly recommend you read the notes on YouTube for each song to get the most out of the experience!

Next, Fannon did a PWS inspired Prompto cosplay! Awww, poor Prompto looks so sad with his flowers and his baggy clothes ;_____; ♥ I'm loving the visualisation, especially the red eyes ♥

And finally, oiek drew a picture of Prompto with his shiny clothes and chocobo bag and bloody nose, going about his day in a cheerful manner (and who wouldn't, with a fluffy chocobo strapped to their back?) I have to say, I love all the different interpretations I've seen now of Prompto's yellow shirt and purple polka-dotted trousers :D And although I kind of had it in my mind that the chocobag was a messenger bag, now I've seen this I think it has to be a rucksack :D :D :D

Thank you to all the artists -- please go and give them some love! ♥

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It’s a long day. It already feels long after he talks to the one with the black hair, but that’s still only a short time into the day. He listens to the music and asks questions, and Ignis tells him the answers, and he learns a lot of things – about music, and different musics, and different implements used for making music, and he uses the mathematical element in his brain to construct mental models of the implements Ignis describes and confirms that they could produce chimes at different frequencies. And then he makes steak pie, and he asks questions about foods and constructing different types of foods, and he learns about browning and gravy and pastry, and it’s still only lunchtime and he feels very tired. He thinks Ignis looks tired, too. It feels good to learn new things, but when he calculates that it’s still twenty-one hours before he can stop asking every question he thinks of, he feels even more tired.

Then Cor comes back. He looks tired, too. But Cor always looks tired. And he smiles when he comes into Ignis’ apartment.

“Something smells good,” he says. “You make your pie, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. The pie is on the table.

Cor looks at the pie on the table and smiles. “Ignis taught you how to use a pastry cutter, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. The image of the pie in the book had two leaves made out of what he now knows is pastry on the top. But when he made the pie, Ignis told him that the leaves were only to make the pie look pleasing and there didn’t have to be two. There could be none, or one, or more than two. So the pie he made has twenty-six pastry leaves on it, arranged with radial symmetry in two concentric circles. It looks pleasing.

“Looks good,” Cor says. “We eating?”

“Marshal,” Ignis says, “Prompto and I had a chat about names this morning.”

“Yeah?” Cor says, sitting down at the table. “What about them?”

“About last names,” Ignis says. “Prompto wanted to know whether he should have a last name.”

Cor looks up at Ignis, then pauses. “Huh,” he says. Then he looks at him. “Uh – yeah,” he says. “If you want one. Yeah, you should have one.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Ignis said – I should choose one?”

Cor looks at him for a moment. Then he nods. “Yeah,” he says again. “We can talk about it.”

“Can I choose Argentum?” he asks. The words all come out in a rush. It’s easier to ask the second time, even though he thought it would be harder to ask Cor than Ignis. He’s been thinking about it. Prompto Argentum.

Cor just looks at him. His face is neutral. Then he frowns for a second. Then he looks away. “Like the composer?” he says.

“I thought he should wait to talk to you first,” Ignis says. “In case you had any alternative suggestions. Or anything else you wanted to tell him about last names.”

There’s a pause. Then Cor shakes his head. “Kid wants Argentum, he can have Argentum,” he says. He’s still looking away, like he’s thinking about something else. “It’s a good name.”

Good. It’s a good name. Cor thinks so. He thinks so, too. Prompto Argentum. So it’s his name. His first name and his last name. He chose it for himself.

“Marshal–” Ignis says.

“We gonna eat before this pie gets cold?” Cor asks.

So they eat.

~

Eating the pie is difficult. It’s not like eating soup, even though sometimes the soup has solid lumps in it. He has to concentrate hard on chewing, and he bites his tongue several times. He doesn’t eat very much, and Ignis gives him some soup to make sure he doesn’t get hungry, even though he doesn’t ever get hungry. But Cor and Ignis both say the pie tastes good, and that makes him feel better about the fact that he’s not skilled enough to eat it correctly.

After lunch, the schedule says he’s going to learn about Botany with Cor. He shows it to Cor, and Cor looks at Ignis and frowns.

“You sure this is right?” he says.

Ignis doesn’t look up from the paper he’s reading. “If you check your calendar, you’ll find it’s correct,” he says.

Cor pulls out his phone and looks at it. Then he looks at Ignis. “You’re organising my calendar now?” he says.

“Only the parts that are relevant to Prompto’s schedule,” Ignis says. “I wouldn’t want either of you to be inconvenienced.”

Cor stares at Ignis for a long moment. Then he looks at him and frowns.

“Botany, huh?” he says.

He looks at the schedule, then at Cor. “What does botany mean?” he says.

Cor just stares for a moment. Then he snorts. “Guess we’ll have to find out together,” he says, standing up. “Come on, kid.”

So they go.

~

They go in the car. The daytime silent one sits in the back seat. Cor starts driving towards the park. But after a short time, he pulls over to the side of the road. He sits in silence, staring out of the big window at the front of the car. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel. Then he glances at him. Then he pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear.

“Hey,” he says after a moment. “It’s Leonis. Listen, about that appointment – could you bring it up? Like, in the next hour or two?” He listens for a moment. “Yeah, that’d do it. Yeah. OK, I’ll see you then.” He puts the phone back in his pocket, then stares out of the window for a few more seconds. Then he looks at him.

“OK,” he says.

Then he pulls back into the road. But now he’s going a different way. They’re not driving towards the park any more. They’re driving somewhere else. Somewhere he hasn’t been before. They drive past buildings and people and open areas. Then they turn, and then they drive more. The buildings get smaller. Now they’re only two storeys high. And then they come to a place with trees on the street. It’s not a park, but there are trees growing out of the street, in front of the houses. They drive down the street with trees on it, and then they do come to a park. There’s a sign: XIIth District Park and Recreation Ground. Cor pulls over to the side of the road and turns off the car.

“Botany,” he says. “Let’s do it.”

They get out of the car. Cor puts a hand on his back, and they walk into the park. It’s like the other park: there’s grass, and trees, and flowers. But there are no signs by any of the trees or flowers, and in the distance there’s an oblong area of grass that has a series of white poles or frames erected on it.

They walk along a path for a little while. He can hear the noise of cars outside the park, and people shouting in the distance, but he doesn’t sharpen his hearing to hear what they’re shouting about. Instead, he focuses it on the sound of the birds chiming and the wind making the leaves of the trees move. There are questions on the edge of his thoughts, but he doesn’t let them come any closer. If he pays attention to what they are, he’ll have to ask Cor. He doesn’t want to ask anything right now. He just wants to walk with Cor and listen to the birds.

After a little while, Cor pauses. He looks at a tree.

“Botany,” he mutters. Then he looks at the daytime silent one. “You know what tree this is?”

“No, sir,” the silent one says.

Cor looks back at the tree. “Sounds about right,” he says. He looks around, then he looks at him. “I guess you don’t know what it is either, right, kid?” he says.

He looks at the tree. The leaves are unfamiliar shapes, small and round and arranged in two rows on either side of each twig.

“No,” he says.

Cor sighs. “OK,” he says. He looks up at the tree for a minute. “I don’t really know anything about botany,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. “What does botany mean?”

Cor glances at him. “It’s plants,” he says. “It’s when you learn about plants.”

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t know there was a special word for learning about plants. That’s good. He likes that learning about plants is so important that there’s a special word for it.

Cor puts his hands in his pockets. He’s turned now and he’s staring at him. “Guess this wasn’t one of Ignis’ better ideas,” he says.

He doesn’t understand. He thinks he should ask a question, but he’s not sure exactly what it should be. He feels – not quite right. Cor’s staring at him. So he feels like he should say something. Ask a question. He’s been asking questions all day. But now he can’t think of any.

“I like plants,” he says. It’s not a question, but at least it’s something.

Cor just stares. Then, suddenly, he laughs.

“You know what, kid?” he says. “That’s a good point.” He looks around himself. “How about you take a look at all the plants and see which ones you like best?”

He nods. It’s a straightforward task, although he thinks it will take him a long time to look at all the plants carefully enough to complete it. He starts immediately to the left of the path. There’s a tree with leaves shaped like smoothed rhombuses. He touches the leaves and looks at them carefully. He can’t sharpen his vision, but he can see a network of fine lines in the leaf. And it feels smooth. Then he touches the bark of the tree. He runs his palm along it. It feels rough and cool. He traces a ridge in the bark. He wonders how the tree decides which patterns to make in the bark.

“Good tree?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says. He looks up. The tree is very tall. He can see the sky in snatches through the moving leaves at the top. He wonders what it would be like to climb the tree.

“How about this?” Cor asks.

He looks over to where Cor is standing. There’s a big, bushy plant there. It’s covered in white flowers, and Cor leans over and puts his nose into one of them.

“Smells good,” Cor says.

He frowns. He knows that plants in general smell interesting. They smell different from anything he ever smelled before he left the training facility – fresh and dark and green and – different. But he doesn’t know why Cor chose to smell this plant in particular. He goes over to it and touches the white flowers. They feel very soft against his fingertips. He looks at Cor. Then he leans down and puts his nose against the flower. Then two things happen:

The first thing is that he feels the flat white parts of the flower brushing against his nose and cheeks. They feel smoother than anything he’s ever felt before. They felt smooth against his fingertips, but the skin of his face must be more sensitive. It’s startling.

The second thing is that he becomes aware of a thick, rich scent that’s not at all like the green smell he’s smelled from plants before. It’s – sweet and warm, and it smells almost like orange juice tastes, but a little different. It’s nothing like anything he’s ever smelled before, and the combination of the extreme smooth softness of the flower with its rich scent makes his head spin. He doesn’t know which sensation to concentrate on first, and he feels dizzy and confused. But he feels good.

“Good, right?” Cor says.

He looks up at Cor. The movement makes the flower brush against his cheek. “Yeah,” he says. His voice sounds strange and quiet. He moves his head so the flower will brush against his cheek again. He breathes in the thick, sweet air. He feels very warm.

Cor nods. “My aunt used to have some of these in her garden when I was a kid,” he says. Then he pauses, half-smiling, half-frowning. “Huh,” he says. “Hadn’t thought about that in–”

He waits, but Cor doesn’t finish the sentence. Instead, he pulls out his phone and holds it up, pointing towards him. The phone makes the noise that means it’s making an image. Cor looks at the screen, then nods.

He looks back at the plant. “Why does it smell like that?” he asks.

Cor comes to stand next to him. He looks down at the plant. “Huh,” he says. “Uh – because–” He frowns, then his face clears. “To attract insects, I guess. Bees.”

He thinks about this response. “What’s bees?” he asks.

Cor looks around different parts of the plant for a moment or two. Then he points. “There,” he says. “That’s a bee.”

He looks. There’s a small object moving inside one of the flowers. He tries to sharpen his vision, but nothing happens, and then he remembers that it doesn’t work any more. It makes him feel – something bad. But he steps closer instead and looks. The object is very small and it looks like it might have hair on it. It’s black and brown, and as he watches it, it suddenly rises into the air and flies away.

He looks at Cor. “It’s a bird?” he says. It didn’t look like the other birds he’s seen. But it flew, and birds fly.

“No,” Cor says. “It’s an insect.” He pauses. “OK, see – for plants to make new plants, they need pollen from other plants. Pollen’s in the flowers, see?” He puts his finger into a flower and withdraws it. “This yellow dust. It’s pollen. And it needs to be transferred to another plant so that the other plant can make seeds. Then the seeds will turn into new plants. So the bee collects the pollen and takes it to the other plant. Make sense?”

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t even know how to answer the question. Make sense? Plants make – new plants? And there are devices to transfer the raw materials to make new plants? And the materials are yellow dust? But then – plants aren’t yellow, or dusty. And it doesn’t explain why the plant smells. If the function of the bee is to transfer the pollen, why does the plant need to smell to make the bee perform its function?

“Yes,” he says. Then he remembers what the one with the black hair said in the morning. That maybe Cor thought he was difficult because he didn’t ask questions when he didn’t understand. And – he doesn’t want to be difficult. But he doesn’t know if he wants Cor to explain what he said, either. Because it was a lot of confusing things, all in a row. He thinks it will take a long time to explain. And sometimes he doesn’t understand Cor’s explanations. So – he needs more data.

“Is it more difficult to ask questions or not to ask questions?” he asks. At least if he knows the answer to this question, he’ll have firm data on how to proceed.

Cor stares at him. “Uh – what?” he says.

“Is it more difficult to ask questions or not to ask questions?” he asks again.

Cor scratches the back of his head. “I’m – gonna need a little more context on this one, kid,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. That was what the one with the black hair said – that Cor needed more contextual data. So it’s true. But he doesn’t know what contextual data Cor needs. He tries to think of something. But he doesn’t know what it is that Cor doesn’t understand.

Cor stares at him. Then he shakes his head.

“Shit,” he says. “This whole communicating thing is really not going so well, huh?”

“Yes,” he says, then thinks it’s wrong. “No.”

Cor half-laughs. Then his phone makes a noise. He pulls it out and glances at it. “Right. We gotta get going, kid. But I’m only putting this conversation on hold, OK? We’re gonna finish it. Got it?”

“Yes,” he says.

So they go.

~

He assumes they’re going to go back to the car. But they don’t. They walk past the car and keep walking down the street. There are buildings now on both sides – two- and three-storey buildings, with trees growing out of the street in front. They walk a short distance. Then Cor stops walking and stares at a building.

“This one,” he says. He goes through a gap in a low wall in front of the building, climbs two steps to the door, and knocks on it.

After a moment, the door opens. A person is standing in the doorway. She has yellow hair and is carrying a clipboard and papers. She smiles as she opens the door.

“Good afternoon, Mr Leo–” she says. Then she looks at Cor and stops, her mouth half-open. She glances down at her clipboard, then looks up at Cor again. “Cor the Immortal?” she says, her voice suddenly much higher-pitched.

Cor sighs. “Leonis is fine,” he says.

The one with the clipboard just stares at him. Cor stares back.

“So – are you gonna show us the house?” he asks, after a long moment of silence.

“House?” the one with the clipboard says. Then she suddenly straightens up. “Oh! The house, yes, of course, yes, please come this way Mr– Mr Leonis sir.”

She turns and goes into the building. Cor goes after her, then glances back at him. “Come on, kid,” he says.

He follows Cor into the building. There’s a long, narrow hall with stairs at the end and a door to the right. The one with the clipboard goes through the door and Cor follows her, so he follows Cor. Then they’re in an empty room with a big window that looks out at the street with the trees growing out of it. There’s no furniture in the room, and the ceiling is high. It feels clean and quiet.

“This is the living room,” the one with the clipboard says. “As you can see, it’s been recently decorated.”

Cor looks around, turning in a circle. “Big enough for our couch, anyway,” he says. “Right, kid?”

He instructs the mathematical element to estimate the dimensions of the room and then project the dimensions of the couch into it. The couch will fit into the room easily. Much more easily than it fits into the kitchen in Cor’s apartment. He wonders if Cor is going to bring the couch here. Even though it doesn’t fit well in the kitchen of Cor’s apartment, it’s still soft and comfortable, so he hopes not.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Kitchen?”

“Right this way,” the one with the clipboard says. They follow her into another room. It’s a kitchen – he recognises the stove – but much bigger than the one at Cor’s apartment, with many more cupboards, some with interesting-looking doors.

“Double oven,” Cor says, opening one of the interesting doors and peering inside.

“Yes, indeed!” the one with the clipboard says. Her voice is still oddly high-pitched. “Do you like to cook, Mr Leonis, sir?”

Cor shrugs. “Not me,” he says. “The kid’s learning.” Then he looks around. “Lots of storage.”

“Yes, there certainly is,” the one with the clipboard says. She looks at him. “I’m sure you’ll find there’s plenty of room for whatever kitchen equipment you might need.”

He stares at her. He’s not sure why she said that to him, or whether he should say something back. After a moment, her smile falters. She looks at Cor.

“Bedrooms?” Cor says.

“Of course,” the one with the clipboard says, and hurries out of the room.

They go upstairs into another big empty room. The window faces out onto the street, and because it’s higher up, it looks into the leaves of one of the trees. It’s a good view. He looks at the leaves while the one with the clipboard talks to Cor.

“This is the master,” she says. “Plenty of space as you can see, and–”

“Is there one that looks out over the back?” Cor says. “The kid likes nature.”

“Oh – yes, certainly,” the one with the clipboard says. “Come this way.”

They go into another room. This one is smaller, though the ceiling is still high. But the window looks in the opposite direction, and he realises that behind the house is the park that they were in before. From the window, he can see trees and grass and sky, and in the distance he thinks he sees water. He stops in the doorway and stares. Even though the window is much lower down than the windows in Cor’s apartment or Ignis’ apartment, the view is somehow – bigger. Or – emptier. But no, it’s not empty. It’s full. But it’s full of trees and grass and sky, instead of buildings and streets and cars.

“This one has the best view, although there is another back room if your son would prefer that,” the one with the clipboard is saying.

The silent one coughs.

“He’s not–” Cor says. Then he stops. “Never mind.”

There’s a silence. He looks away from the window to see that Cor’s looking at him. The one with the clipboard is looking at him, too. And the silent one. They’re all looking at him.

“You like it?” Cor asks, gesturing at the window.

“Yes,” he says. He wants to look at the view out of the window again, but everyone’s still looking at him. “I like it,” he adds, hoping that the response is adequate.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a second. Then he turns abruptly to the one with the clipboard. “Can you give us a minute?” he says.

“Of course,” the one with the clipboard says. She leaves the room, and Cor turns back to him.

“You don’t get what we’re doing here, do you?” he says.

Slowly, he shakes his head. It’s interesting, looking around the empty house. He likes looking out of the windows. But he doesn’t know what the purpose is.

Cor nods. “My fault,” he says. He goes and stands by the window, staring out. Then he turns to look at him. “I was thinking – my apartment’s too small.”

“Too small for what?” he asks.

Cor shrugs. “Us. The damn couch doesn’t even fit.”

He waits. He thinks Cor’s explaining. Cor’s explanations aren’t clear and linear like Ignis’s, and sometimes he has to wait to find out how it all fits together.

“So – if you like it here, we could live here instead,” Cor says.

He blinks. It’s not what he expected. They could live here? In this house? It seems strange, to want to live in a house with no furniture. Even the training facility had beds. But he thinks about the room where Cor sleeps, about how it feels very empty. Maybe Cor likes things to be empty. Maybe that’s why he wants to live here instead of in the apartment, where there’s no more room to put anything.

He looks at the window.

“Only if you like it,” Cor says. “If you don’t, we can keep looking till we find a place you like.”

He looks at the floor. There’s carpet on it. It wouldn’t be so bad to sleep on the floor. Even though he would miss how soft the bed is. But – if it was in here – and he could look at the window when he wanted –

“I was thinking you could walk in the park after school,” Cor says. “Look at the plants. You know, whenever you wanted.”

He looks at Cor. He could walk in the park? He didn’t even think about walking in the park. He was still thinking about looking out of the window. How good it would be to be able to look out of the window at the park whenever he was in the room. To wake up and be able to look out of the window at the park. But – he could walk in it, too?

“So – you want to do that?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says. He says it quickly, in case Cor changes his mind. Because – he didn’t imagine it. He liked looking at the house, all the rooms, but he never imagined – anything like this. That he could almost live in the park, with all the plants and the sky and the birds.

The plants.

“What about the plants?” he asks. If they come and live in this house, what will happen to the plants in Cor’s apartment? Can he bring them with him, or will he need to go there every day to look after them?

Cor frowns slightly. “Your plants?” he asks.

My plants. He doesn’t say it out loud. But he thinks it. My plants. “Yes,” he says.

“We’ll bring them with us,” Cor says. “We’ll bring all our stuff with us.”

“The bed?” he asks. He’s not sure what Cor means by all our stuff.

“The bed, the couch, the table,” Cor says. “You can even bring the picture from your wall if you want.”

“Oh,” he says. So Cor doesn’t want to live in the house because it’s empty. Maybe Cor just wants to live almost in the park, too.

And then, he feels something. Something that bubbles up from his stomach into his chest and swells there. It’s almost painful, but it feels – good. He thinks about coming here. About coming to live here, and not having to sleep on the floor, and being able to walk in the park and look out of the window. And he feels – something. Something almost painful.

“When will we come to live here?” he asks.

Cor smiles. “Excited, huh?” he says.

He stares. Excited. It’s one of the words he’s supposed to look up. Is he excited? He definitely feels something. He’s felt it before, more than once. And – it’s like what he was feeling when the one with the black hair said he was excited. It’s not exactly the same – it’s stronger, more intense – but it’s the same feeling of not being able to stop thinking about something. He looks out of the window. Then he looks at Cor.

“Yes,” he says. “I think – I’m excited.”

Cor’s smile widens. “Great,” he says. “That’s good, kid. I’m glad.” He pulls out his phone. “Just give me a second, OK?”

He turns to look out of the window again. Behind him, he hears Cor speaking into the phone.

“Hey, it’s Leonis,” Cor says. “Yeah. Put the offer in. Yeah, I’m sure. ASAP. OK. Let me know when it’s done.”

Then Cor stops speaking and comes to stand next to him. He puts an arm round his shoulders.

“Want to finish that botany lesson?” he asks.

He looks out of the window. Outside, there are plants, trees, grass, the sky.

“Yes,” he says.

~

They go back to the park. He looks at the plants and tries to see all the things that are different between different kinds of plants, and how many different kinds there are. After a while, he realises there are too many different kinds to remember. And Cor doesn’t know the names of any. But Cor does start pointing out plants and trees to him. He notices that Cor points out the ones that have unusual coloured flowers or leaves, or once a tree with pale silvery bark. So he thinks maybe Cor likes things that are colourful or unusual-looking.

They’re looking at a tree that has dark red leaves when Cor turns to him.

“We never finished that conversation,” he says. “About whether it’s difficult to ask questions.”

“No,” he says. Suddenly he doesn’t want to finish the conversation. He wants to keep looking at the plants with Cor. And he doesn’t want Cor to say that asking questions makes him difficult. Because he doesn’t want to stop asking questions. It’s good, it’s useful. He’s learned a lot, and even if sometimes he feels tired of having to ask so many things, he doesn’t want to stop forever. And – he doesn’t want to hear Cor say that he’s difficult. He’s heard it already, but he doesn’t want to hear it again. He doesn’t want to hear Cor say it to his face.

But. The one with the black hair said that Cor doesn’t think he’s difficult. And she’s been right about so many things. She was even right when she said Cor needed more contextual data, even though he thought that must be wrong. So – maybe she’s right about this. Maybe.

Cor’s looking at him. “Here’s the thing,” Cor says. “I don’t understand what you were asking. Do you mean – is it difficult for you to ask questions? I mean, are you finding it difficult?”

He opens his mouth. Then he closes it again. Then he takes a deep breath. Because it’s important. Even though he’s scared that Cor will say it and then it’ll hurt and he won’t feel good any more. But he still needs to say it. So he says it.

“I thought – if I asked lots of questions, you would think I was difficult,” he says. He closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Cor’s expression. He feels like there’s a weight on his chest. “So I didn’t – So I – I don’t want to be difficult.”

There’s a silence. The weight on his chest increases. He opens his eyes. Cor’s frowning at him.

“Did someone tell you you were difficult?” Cor says. He sounds angry.

He swallows. He didn’t want to make Cor angry.

“No,” he says. It’s true: no-one told him that.

“Then what – where is any of this coming from?” Cor asks.

He feels – scared. Not of Cor – not really. But of – of not being what Cor wants. Of making Cor angry. Not because he thinks Cor will hurt him, but because – he doesn’t want Cor to be angry with him. He wants to make Cor pleased.

“Hey,” Cor says. His voice is sharp. Then he speaks again, much more softly. “Hey,” he says. “Don’t – Shit, don’t get upset. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He looks at Cor. It’s hard to look at him, but he wants to see his expression. He’s frowning, but he doesn’t look angry any more. He doesn’t know how to interpret the way he looks.

“Hey,” Cor says again. He touches his arm, but he doesn’t put his hand on his shoulder or his back. “Let’s sit down. You want to sit down?” He points at a bench.

He sits. Cor sits next to him. There’s a space between them. Cor looks straight ahead for a moment or two. Then he sighs.

“I always mess this up,” he says. “I need – lessons or something.” He sighs again, then rubs his eyes. “OK, let’s start again,” he says. “Why did you think I might think you were difficult? Where did you get that idea from?”

He looks down at his hands. He thinks about how a few minutes ago, he felt good. Looking at the plants and thinking about how Cor said they could live in the new house. But now he feels bad. And Cor feels bad. He takes a breath.

“I heard you say it,” he says.

“Heard me say what?” Cor asks.

He closes his eyes. His throat hurts. “That I’m difficult,” he says. He doesn’t want to hear what Cor says next. But he listens anyway.

“What?” Cor says. “When?”

“This morning,” he says. “When you were talking to the night-time silent one.”

“Talking to who?” Cor says. He opens his eyes and looks at Cor. Cor’s staring at him. He looks confused.

“This morning,” he says again. “Before we went out.”

Cor frowns at him. Then he shakes his head. “Arcis?” he says. “This morning when I was talking to Arcis?”

“Yes,” he says. Arcis is the night-time silent one.

Cor shakes his head again. “You were listening to us?” he says.

He nods.

Cor sits back. He stares at him. He looks surprised and angry. “What–” he starts, then stops. “Were you – outside the door?” he says. “Outside the kitchen door?”

He shakes his head. “I was upstairs,” he says.

Cor’s mouth opens, but he doesn’t speak. He just stares, eyes wide. “You – heard us from upstairs,” he says. “You could hear us?”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know why Cor’s asking. It’s obvious that he can hear that far when he sharpens his hearing.

Cor stares. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Swallows. Opens it again.

“Your hearing,” he says. “It’s enhanced. Like your vision. Right?”

“My vision isn’t functioning any more,” he says.

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. “But your hearing. You can hear things much further away than a normal human? Things several rooms away?”

“Yes,” he says. He didn’t realise Cor didn’t know that. He thought it was obvious.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he wipes a hand across his mouth. “How much have you–” he says, then shakes his head. “Do you listen to what I’m saying a lot? When you’re not in the room with me?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s important to listen so that he can gather as much data as possible.

Cor’s face changes. He looks angry again. He runs his hand over the back of his head and then suddenly stands up.

“Shit, what have you–” he starts. Then he takes a step away and turns abruptly to face him. “You ever heard of privacy, kid?” He sounds angry. He looks angry.

He swallows. His heart is pounding in his chest and his throat. He tries to remember if he’s ever heard of privacy. But he doesn’t think he has. “No,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

Cor stares at him with that angry expression on his face. He stares and he doesn’t say anything. Then he turns sharply away. He walks away. Even without seeing his face any more, he still looks angry. His body looks angry, somehow. He walks until he’s some distance away. Then he stands by a tree, still facing away. His head drops and his shoulders hunch.

He sits on the bench. His heart is beating so hard it makes his head ache. His throat aches, too. His stomach aches. He grips onto the bench seat until his fingers start to hurt. He thinks about how good he felt just a little while ago. Thinking about it makes everything hurt even more. But he can’t stop thinking about it. How everything was good and Cor was pleased, and now everything’s bad and Cor’s angry, and he doesn’t know what he did. But he was difficult. He shouldn’t have asked Cor about being difficult. He needs to know what things he’s permitted to ask about.

The silent one goes over to where Cor is standing. Cor waves him away. Then the silent one comes over to stand next to him. He looks down at him. Then he holds out a tissue.

He’s not sure why the silent one is holding out a tissue. But then he realises he’s crying. His nose is running. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now. He should wait for Cor to come back. He takes the tissue and waits. He doesn’t know what to do.

Then: Cor runs a hand over his head and turns around. His stomach swoops and twists. Cor’s expression is hard to interpret. His mouth is tight. But he doesn’t look angry like he did before.

Cor walks back over to them. He stops in front of him. He looks very tall.

“Lacertus, privacy,” he says.

The silent one moves away. Because of that word – privacy. It was a command. But what did it mean?

Cor looks down at him for a second. Then – he sits on the ground. He sits, so that now he’s looking up at him. It’s not what he expected. Suddenly Cor looks – different. He looks different sitting on the ground than he did when he was standing up.

Cor looks up at him. He runs a hand over his eyes. Then he sighs.

“OK,” he says. “All right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, kid. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

He blinks. Blinking makes more tears spill down his cheeks. Why is Cor sorry? Why shouldn’t he have yelled?

“Hey,” Cor says. “Hey, no, don’t cry. Kid, I’m sorry. You don’t have to be scared. Don’t cry.”

He swallows and tries to stop crying. He doesn’t know now whether he’s permitted to ask questions or not. But – he needs to know what’s happening. He needs contextual data, so he can make sure he behaves correctly. He didn’t have contextual data and now everything’s bad. So he needs contextual data.

“Why are you sorry?” he asks.

Cor closes his eyes. Then he opens them. “Because – I messed up,” he says. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t know you were doing anything wrong. But I did. I knew if I shouted at you I would scare you. But I did it anyway, even though I’m supposed to be the adult here. So I’m sorry.”

He stares at Cor. You didn’t know you were doing anything wrong. So – if he does something wrong by mistake, because he doesn’t know, is that – not bad? Or not as bad? Cor doesn’t seem to be angry any more, and that’s – he feels very confused.

“Listen,” Cor says. Then he stops. He clenches his fists, then opens them again. “I–” he says. Then he shifts so he’s on his knees, leans forward and puts his arms around him.

He doesn’t know what to do. He thought Cor would be angry, but he’s not. And now he’s holding him. And normally when Cor holds him, it’s good. It means good things. It makes him feel better, like he’s safe. He wants to feel that way now, too. But he doesn’t understand enough about what Cor was angry about and why he’s not angry any more. So even though Cor’s holding him, he doesn’t feel good.

Cor stops holding him, then. He sits back. But he keeps hold of his upper arms. He looks at him.

“All right,” he says. “I guess we gotta talk about this, huh?”

He waits. He doesn’t know if they have to talk about it or not.

Cor nods. “Here’s the thing, kiddo. When you listen to a conversation and the people having the conversation don’t know you’re listening – that’s not a good thing to do. Sometimes people don’t want you to hear what they’re saying. Some things are private. You get me?”

He swallows. He shakes his head.

“OK,” Cor says. He keeps his hands on his upper arms. He looks like he’s thinking for a moment. “OK,” he says again. “Like with Dr Fortis. When you tell her stuff, she doesn’t tell anyone else what you’ve said, right?”

He nods. It’s one of the rules. The one with the black hair won’t tell anyone anything he says to her.

“So – that’s good, right?” Cor says. “It means you can tell her things you maybe wouldn’t want to tell me, or you wouldn’t want me to find out. Right?”

He thinks about it. He thinks about the sorts of things he talks about with the one with the black hair. He hadn’t thought about it before, but – he thinks maybe it’s right. That when she asks him questions, he doesn’t think as hard about the right thing to say as he does with other people. Because the rules are that she won’t tell anyone else and she won’t get angry with him. So he doesn’t have to worry as much.

“Yes,” he says. His throat hurts when he says it.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “So – that’s private. And if – I could hear all the conversations you had with her, and you didn’t know I was listening – that wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be right for me to listen when I knew you didn’t know I was listening, because you might say things you didn’t want me to hear. Do you understand?”

He thinks about what it would be like, if Cor had been listening to the conversations he has with the one with the black hair. If Cor had been listening and he didn’t know. His stomach swoops. Even though he doesn’t think he’s said anything bad – he hasn’t said anything bad about Cor, and he doesn’t have anything bad to say about Cor – even then, the idea still makes his stomach swoop. It makes him feel bad. So – maybe he understands?

“Can I – ask questions?” he asks. He doesn’t want to get it wrong again.

“Shit, kid, please,” Cor says. “Please ask questions. I really want you to.”

That’s surprising. But it’s clear.

“Is it a rule that you don’t tell other people about your conversations?” he asks. “Like the one with the black hair?”

“Like who?” Cor says. Then he shakes his head. “It’s – OK, it’s like a – a social rule, I guess. It’s not about me. It’s about everyone. It’s a social rule that you don’t listen to conversations when the people talking don’t know you can hear. That’s the rule. Understand?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s an easy rule to understand.

“OK,” Cor says. “OK.” He lets go of his arms and sits back on his heels, staring at him. He stares back. He did the wrong thing – he’s been doing the wrong thing for a long time. Listening when he shouldn’t have been listening. He didn’t know there was a rule. There are no instruction posters or lists of rules. So he didn’t know. But Cor – Cor said he wasn’t angry. He said that it wasn’t bad because he didn’t know about the rule. So – he needs to think about that. He needs to think. But his mind feels full. It’s full of fear and confusion and wanting to make everything all right again, like it was before. None of his thoughts seem to finish properly – they just cut off before he can really follow them and then he just feels scared and confused and bad, and like he doesn’t know what to do.

Cor swallows and scrubs briefly at his eyes. “Kid, what did you hear?” he asks. But before he can think about the answer, Cor shakes his head and speaks again. “Listen, whatever – whatever you heard me say, whatever you think – it’s hard to understand, all right? When you’re listening without any context. So – maybe you heard some things and you thought – you thought they meant–” He stops and scrubs his eyes again. “Fuck, I’ve really fucked this up,” he mutters.

He waits. He doesn’t know what else to do. Cor sits and stares at the ground for a moment. He swallows several times. Then he looks up.

“Listen to me,” he says. “Whatever you heard, and whatever you thought it might mean, I want you to forget it, OK? I want you to forget it. Can you do that?”

He doesn’t know if it’s possible, to intentionally forget something. If the people here knew how to interact correctly with his brain, they could just erase the knowledge. But they don’t, and he doesn’t have any elements that will let him do that. “Yes,” he says. Then he thinks about it. He thinks about everything, all the things he’s been learning. “I don’t know,” he says.

Cor nods. “Yeah, I get that,” he says. “But then – here’s the thing. You’re not difficult. You’re not – if you heard me say anything and you thought it meant I felt bad about you, or that you’re bad in some way – if you heard that, that’s wrong, OK? You’ve understood that wrong. This – this situation–” He pauses and swallows again. “This situation is really hard. I’m not – doing great, sometimes. But that’s not on you. That’s not – it’s not you. You’re – you’re great, kid. You’re just – a really great kid. And I wouldn’t–” He pauses again. “I wouldn’t – want to give you up. No matter how much shit happens. I really – it’s really important to me to have you with me.”

He feels the ache in his throat intensify. His eyes are blurring again. Cor told him to stop crying. But now he’s crying again. But – even though his chest still hurts, it’s not bad this time. He still feels partly bad, but now he feels good as well. Because Cor said it’s really important to me to have you with me. He didn’t know it was important. He didn’t expect that anything about him could be important to Cor. Or to anyone. Cor’s important to him, but he didn’t know it was the other way round. And it makes him feel – warm, and like there’s a good pain in his chest. Like there isn’t enough space in him for all the good pain.

“C’mere,” Cor says then, and he sits up and reaches out and holds him again. And this time it feels better. It feels warm and safe, and he wants to hold Cor as well. He doesn’t know if it’s right to do that. But then – he’s doing it. He didn’t even realise, but he’s doing it. He presses his face into Cor’s shoulder and holds on to the back of Cor’s coat, and Cor makes a surprised-sounding noise, but then he holds him even tighter, and it feels good.

Cor holds him for a long time. He doesn’t say anything, he just holds him. Cor smells of leather and something like wood. And he feels warm. He can feel Cor’s heart beating. It makes him feel good, to know that Cor’s heart is beating. And that Cor said it’s really important to me to have you with me. I wouldn’t want to give you up. He thinks about it, over and over again while he listens to Cor’s heart beating, and to the chimes of the birds and the leaves moving in the trees.

At last, though, Cor stops holding him. He sits back. His eyes look red. He smiles.

“How’re you feeling, kid?” he asks.

He considers the question.

“I feel affection,” he says.

Cor looks surprised. “What?” he says, then, “Affection for who?”

“For you,” he says.

Cor’s mouth opens. But he doesn’t say anything. He stares at him. Then he closes his mouth. “Dr Fortis tell you to say that?” he asks. His voice sounds strange.

“No,” he says. “She told me what it means. And she said I should say it when I feel it. And she said I should ask questions.”

Cor just looks at him for a moment. “That’s why you asked about being difficult,” he says.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. He swallows. He looks down. He covers his eyes with his hand. “Shit,” he whispers. His shoulders start shaking.

Something’s wrong. What’s wrong? The one with the black hair said he should say when he feels affection. But now Cor looks like he’s in pain. Should he–? Should he–?

“Cor?” he says.

Cor doesn’t look up for a second. When he does, he scrubs his hands against his eyes. But his cheeks are wet. He looks like – he’s crying. He looks like he’s crying.

“Cor?” he says again. His voice sounds very uncertain. He feels very uncertain.

And then Cor smiles. Even though he’s crying. The smile is strange – wavering around the edges. But it’s a smile.

“Shit, kid,” he says. His voice sounds choked. “I gotta tell Clarus to give that lady a raise.”

“I don’t understand,” he says.

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. “I just – I feel the same, OK? I mean–” He takes a deep breath. “Affection. I – feel affection for you, too.”

He stares at Cor. Cor stares back at him. Then, abruptly, he stands up.

“Fuck, I gotta walk this off,” he says. “C’mere.” He holds out an arm.

He stands up, too. Cor puts his arm around him. And they walk. They don’t say anything. They just walk. He wants to think about all the things that have happened. About the things Cor’s said. About I feel affection for you, too. Because he didn’t know Cor felt affection. He didn’t know anyone felt affection for him. But the idea that someone might – that Cor feels it, Cor especially – makes him feel – a way that he’s never felt before. He wants to think about it. But his head is too full to think. His whole body is too full. So he doesn’t think. He just walks. Overhead, the sky is blue with grey and white clouds. The air is cool and feels soft against his skin. Cor isn’t crying any more. But he’s still smiling.

“So, how about it, kid?” he says at last. “Still want to come live here?”

“Yes,” he says. “I like it here.”

Cor tightens his arm around his shoulders and looks around.

“Me too, kiddo,” he says. “Me too.”

Notes:

Very important headcanon: Cor has been earning a shit-ton of money working for the crown since he was 15, and spending almost none of it because he lives like a monk, so now he's able to drop however much it must cost to buy a detached two-storey house next to a park in Insomnia without even raising an eyebrow. Dude is seriously loaded, is what I'm saying.

Chapter 40

Notes:

Helloooooo!

I have taken so long to write the chapter that Wordsmythologic has had time to write three beautiful songs and commission a gorgeous picture of Prompto snuggling a chocobo! Song One, Song Two, Song Three, chocobo snuggles by rtil! Please do read the descriptions at the song links -- they're very enlightening!

Meanwhile, Galaxyostars has put together a playlist for background listening while you're enjoying our kid's latest adventures. Good times!

Thanks so much to all artists, and also to everyone who commented on the last chapter! You guys really enjoyed those hugs, huh? ;)

On with the show!

Chapter Text

After they’ve looked at the plants in the park for a while, Cor takes him back to Ignis’ apartment to wait for Noctis to get back from school. When they come in, Ignis is sitting at his desk writing something. He glances up at them, then pauses and frowns.

“Marshal?” he says. “Everything all right?”

“Huh?” Cor says. Then he nods. His face looks strange and his mouth keeps turning up at the corners. “Yeah, all good.”

Ignis stares at him for another second or two, then gestures to the couch. “Well, sit down,” he says.

He sits. The couch is soft. There’s music playing quietly, and he closes his eyes to listen. He listens. And he feels like he’s sinking. He’s sinking.

~

He’s floating in some kind of strange purple space. He doesn’t seem to be standing on anything, but he’s not falling, either. He can breathe, so he’s not under water. But – he doesn’t know where he is. He can see trees in the distance, floating as well. He tries to move towards them, but moving his limbs produces no result. Then he hears a voice.

“Shit, I don’t know,” says the voice. It’s Cor. He turns to see where the voice is coming from and sees Cor. Cor is sitting on top of a fish. It’s a big fish. It’s floating in the purple space as well. Cor runs a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know,” he says again. “I keep thinking – what have I said?”

He tries to say Cor’s name, but his mouth doesn’t move. Then he sees Ignis. Ignis is sitting on a bird. The bird is also very big. It’s yellow, like the birds on the green shirt he has.

“I can’t say I’m not having the same thoughts,” Ignis says. He’s holding a bowl of soup and he seems to be talking to a small tree with purple leaves that’s growing out of the bowl. “But dwelling on it won’t help anyone. If we can – make it clear to Prompto that anything he heard should be disregarded, and from now on--”

“Right,” Cor says. “Sure. But it already hurt him, you know? I just – keep on hurting him. It’s the last thing I want, but it’s like I can’t help myself.”

“I shouldn’t think feeling sorry for yourself will help either, Marshal,” Ignis says. He holds the bowl of soup with the tree in it out to Cor, and Cor takes it. He contemplates it for a moment, frowning.

“Fuck those Niff assholes,” he mutters. “Are you ready for botany?”

“Botany is the study of plants,” Ignis says. “Let’s try this.” He reaches out and takes the small tree out of the bowl, then puts it onto Cor’s head. The tree seems to fuse with Cor’s head. Now Cor has a tree growing out of his head.

Ignis nods. “Much better,” he says.

“Fine,” Cor says. He shakes his head, and a few leaves flutter down. “But it’s time to go home.”

“I get free time again tomorrow, though, right?” Ignis says. He sounds like Noctis now.

“Wake up, kid,” Cor says. “Time to go home.”

Cor is looking at him now. The fish moves closer and he feels something gripping his shoulder.

“Wake up,” says Cor again.

And he wakes up. He blinks. Cor is there. There’s no fish. And no tree growing out of his head. And – he’s on the couch in Ignis’ apartment. Outside, it’s getting dark.

“Cor?” he says.

“You with me?” Cor asks. He’s holding his shoulder. “Time to go home.”

He blinks again. He looks around. Noctis is sitting on the other couch, staring at his phone. He looks up at him.

“Hey,” he says. “You slept through free time.”

“I’m afraid Prince Noctis is rubbing off on you,” Ignis says.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cor says. “Kid’s tired, is all. We’re all tired. Time to go home. Come on, kid, get up.”

He gets up. He feels bewildered. Nothing seems quite real. Cor puts a hand on his back and starts steering him towards the door. He looks back at Ignis and Noctis. They both look normal. There are no birds or fish or trees.

“Bye,” Noctis says.

“Bye,” he replies.

~

In the car, he understands.

“I had a dream,” he says.

Cor looks over at him. His mouth turns down. “Bad?” he asks.

Slowly, he shakes his head. “It--” he says. It was a dream. He understands that: he’s awake now, even though everything still feels unreal. “It was strange,” he says.

“Yeah?” Cor says. “Strange how?”

“There was – a big fish,” he says. “But that doesn’t make sense because – there was no water. And the fish was too big. And you were sitting on it.”

He hears the silent one make a quiet noise in the back seat. The corners of Cor’s mouth twitch. “Me?” he says.

He nods. “And there was a tree growing out of your head,” he says. He looks at Cor. “What does it mean?” He wonders if his dreaming system is malfunctioning. He wonders what system it is that makes him dream.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. His mouth is still twitching. Then he shakes his head. “It doesn’t mean anything, kid,” he says. “Sounds like a normal dream. That’s great.”

He frowns. Nothing about the dream was normal. Even though when he was having the dream, none of it seemed strange, and now that he’s awake, being awake seems strange. But even so, he’s sure the dream can’t have been normal. Everything about it was abnormal.

“Listen,” Cor says, “dreams are weird. They’re meant to be weird. They’re like – your mind’s way of clearing out some junk while you’re asleep. Sometimes the junk just gets – put together in weird ways. So you having weird dreams – that’s good. That’s normal. And no nightmare – that’s good, too. It’s really good, kid.”

“Oh,” he says. He agrees that it’s good he didn’t have a nightmare. He doesn’t want to have any more nightmares. But he still feels disoriented by the experience of the dream.

Cor glances at him. “A tree, really?” he says. “Like – what kind of tree?”

He tries to remember the dream. “One with purple leaves,” he says.

“Huh,” Cor says. “I don’t know if purple’s my colour.”

The silent one makes another quiet noise. Then they arrive at Cor’s building, and they don’t talk about the dream any more.

~

The next day, in the afternoon, Gladio arrives at Ignis’ apartment.

“Literature, right?” he says. He holds up his phone in Ignis’ direction. “Did you put this in my calendar?”

“Somewhere else, if you don’t mind,” Ignis says. “I’m rather busy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gladio says. He looks at him. “OK, squirt, come with me.”

He stands up and follows Gladio. The silent one follows him. They walk along the corridor, down some stairs, then along another corridor and down some more stairs. Eventually, they come to a room he’s visited before: the room with the various pieces of equipment where his close-range combat abilities were tested. There are benches by some of the walls, and on the end of one of the benches is a pile of books.

The silent one snorts. “Lit class in the gym?” he says.

“Hey, it’s a workout for the brain, right?” Gladio says. “Sit down, kid.”

He sits. Gladio picks up the first book from the pile and holds it out to him. “Take a look at this,” he says.

He takes the book. The cover has an image which looks a little like the ink stain that the one with the black hair showed him. Superimposed over the image are the words DEATH AND DAEMONS SAPIENS SUPERIOR.

“Heard of it?” Gladio asks.

He shakes his head. He opens the book. The first page is familiar: it includes instructions on copying and distribution and information about who produced the book. Then there’s a page which repeats the words from the cover. Then there’s a page of text. He starts to read the page of text.

On the third Wednesday of the month, when it hadn’t rained for seventy-two days and the land was creaking with thirst, the sky split open and the shack where Aes Aeris lived with his dying uncle was struck by lightning.

He reads the sentence. Then he reads it again. There are a few words he doesn’t understand – Wednesday, shack, lightning, uncle – but most of them he does. But he still doesn’t understand the sentence. It’s like the test the one with the black hair gave him. And the book Ignis gave him before. He’s seen it before: text that describes events for no clear purpose. He’s seen it before, so he thinks he should understand it by now. But he doesn’t.

He looks up at Gladio. Gladio has his arms folded and is watching him.

“You like the style?” he asks.

He swallows. He looks at the book. He opens his mouth to say yes. But he doesn’t say it. He’s supposed to ask questions. So he takes a deep breath. And he asks.

“What’s the purpose of the text?” he asks.

Gladio frowns slightly. “We’re not there, yet, kid,” he says. “You gotta read it first, then we can talk about themes and purpose and all that crap.”

He stares at Gladio. Gladio stares back. Gladio answered the question, but the answer didn’t make sense. He has to read the whole book before Gladio will tell him what the purpose is? He looks back at the book. The book has a lot of pages. He thinks it will take a long time.

“Hey,” Gladio says. He looks up at him. Gladio’s still frowning. “What, you don’t like to read?” he asks.

“I – don’t understand,” he says. He knows now it’s better to tell people when he doesn’t understand, even if it’s hard. Even if he feels like he says I don’t understand more than he says anything else. But – he doesn’t understand.

Gladio sits down next to him. “Show me what you don’t understand,” he says.

He thinks about how to proceed. He thinks maybe he should start with small things and then move on to larger things. So he points at the first sentence on the page and takes a deep breath.

Wednesday,” he says. “Shack. Lightning. Uncle. And – how can land creak? And how can it be thirsty? And how can the sky split open? And what is the purpose of the text?”

Gladio stares at him for a moment. “That all?” he says at last.

“Yes,” he says. “And who is Aes Aeris?”

Gladio taps his fingers on his knee. He frowns at the book in his hands, like he’s thinking. “You know what a story is?” he asks.

He shakes his head.

“OK,” Gladio says. He rolls his shoulders. “Guess we’re gonna be here a while.”

And so Gladio tells him: a story is a piece of text which relates events happening to one or more people. The people in the story are called characters. Sometimes the people in the story are real people and the events in the story are things that really happened. But often the people aren’t real and the events never happened. The person who’s telling the story makes up the events and the people.

Gladio stops talking. He looks at him. “OK?” he says. “You get it?”

He gets it, in that he understands what Gladio has said. But he still doesn’t understand why. It seems – inefficient, to waste time writing texts about things that didn’t really happen to people that don’t really exist. And to read them. He looks at the stack of books.

“Are all these stories?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Gladio says. “I brought a few. Didn’t know what you might like.”

He looks at Gladio. Gladio raises his eyebrows.

“OK, I’m getting that you really don’t get it,” he says. “Are you gonna tell me what’s confusing, or are just gonna sit here and talk past each other for the next hour?”

He feels nervous. But Gladio doesn’t seem angry. And what he’s saying fits with what the one with the black hair told him: that the people here need more contextual data to understand why he doesn’t understand things. So he needs to ask questions, and then that will help.

“What’s the purpose of the text?” he asks. Then he remembers that he already asked that. “I mean – the story,” he says. “What’s the purpose of a story?”

Gladio stares at him. “Uh,” he says. “I don’t know, for fun?” Then he closes his eyes for a moment. “OK, kid, tell me you know what fun is,” he says.

He shakes his head. Is Gladio angry? He thinks he would have thought so, before. A few weeks ago. But now – he doesn’t think so. He waits.

“OK, uh,” Gladio says. He looks around the room and rubs his hand over his chin. “Man, Iggy, did you do this to me on purpose?” he mutters. Then he looks at him.

“All right, fine,” he says. “Fun is like – it’s when you do something just because you enjoy doing it. There’s no other purpose. Like when you play King’s Knight with Noct. That’s just because you enjoy it. Right?”

He thinks about it. He does enjoy it. But he plays because Noctis tells him to. He hasn’t considered the purpose before. But now he thinks about it. Yes, he enjoys it. He likes playing phone games with Noctis.

“There’s no other purpose?” he asks.

“Nope,” Gladio says. “Just pixels moving around on a screen. It’s basically meaningless. Except it’s fun, so that’s the point. That’s the meaning.”

He stares at Gladio. Then he stares at the book. He hadn’t thought about it before – not really. He remembers wondering at first what the purpose was behind the games – the card games and the phone games. But then he stopped wondering, because he liked playing them and the purpose didn’t seem to be important. And now – that’s all there is? The only reason for the games is because Noctis likes playing them, too?

“You get it?” Gladio asks.

He’s not sure. It’s – strange, but it’s not strange. With the games, anyway. Because he sees that the games are enjoyable. At least – he enjoys the games. He enjoys them mostly because of Noctis – of how Noctis seems pleased when they do well, and how Noctis always wants to play with him. It makes him feel good. Because – maybe because of affection. Because he feels affection for Noctis. But he doesn’t understand about the book.

“Why is it enjoyable to read about things that aren’t true?” he asks.

Gladio’s shoulders sag a little and he blows out his breath. “Uhh,” he says. “I – uh, because--” He frowns, then scowls at the silent one, who’s sitting a little distance away. “Yeah, I’d like to see you do better,” he mutters. Then stares at the floor for a few seconds, frowning. Then he looks at him.

“Because – it’s fun to imagine being someone else,” he says. “Or hear about other people doing interesting shit. It’s exciting. It makes you feel good to feel other people’s emotions.”

He stares. “How do you feel other people’s emotions?” he asks. He wonders if it’s like the one with the black hair being able to know what other people are thinking. Except she says that she can’t do that, but he’s not sure whether he believes her.

“Like, uh, empathy?” Gladio says, then shakes his head. “What am I saying, fuck.” He chews his lip, staring at him. Then, after a few seconds, he says, “Wait right there.” He looks at the silent one. “Lacertus, make sure he doesn’t go anywhere, OK?”

The silent one doesn’t say anything. Gladio leaves the room. He sits on the bench and waits for him to come back. He thinks about what he said. About doing things just because they’re enjoyable. And about feeling people’s emotions. Sometimes he doesn’t really want to feel his own emotions. He thinks that feeling other people’s emotions would be difficult. But – if he could, maybe he would understand the people better. Maybe if he knew how Cor felt it would be easier to understand him. He looks at the book and reads the first sentence again. But he doesn’t feel any emotions except confusion. He thinks it’s his own confusion, not anyone else’s.

“I hated that book, too,” says the silent one.

He looks at him. The silent one nods at the book. “Had to read it in school,” he says.

He looks down at the book. “Oh,” he says. He didn’t know the silent one went to school as well. He wonders when he goes. Maybe at night time? He wonders if it’s the same school that Noctis goes to, or if there’s more than one.

Then Gladio comes back. He’s carrying more books, but this time the dimensions are different. These books are taller and wider, but thin. He holds one out.

“OK, let’s try this,” he says.

He takes the book. The image on the front is unusual. It shows three people and an object he doesn’t recognise standing on something yellow by a blue background. But it’s not a photograph. It’s a drawing of some kind – but not like any drawing he’s seen before. The details are rendered in a very broad way, and some aspects seem unrealistic – the people have dots for eyes, for example. But it’s clear that the images are intended to be people. The words across the top read Juvenix and the Mystery of Accordo.

He opens the book and sees that it’s different from other books he’s read. Instead of just being words, the pages are covered with images – drawings, like the one on the cover. The pages are divided into a number of boxes, and each box has a different drawing. In many boxes, the drawings of people have white ellipses associated with them, and inside the ellipses are words.

“OK, here’s how this works,” Gladio says. “The pictures tell the story, right? And these here are speech bubbles. They tell you that the person who they’re pointing to is saying this. See?”

He looks. Yes, each white ellipse has a narrow triangle attached to it which points towards an image of a person.

“Then when there’s a box instead of a bubble, that’s giving you background information about the context,” Gladio says.

He looks and sees that some of the pictures have white boxes in the corners with words in them. The boxes contain contextual data. The nature of the book is still confusing, but the construction is pleasing. Contextual data is clearly separated from transcriptions of speech. Speech transcriptions are clearly attributed. Even though the images of the people are unrealistic, it’s easy to tell each one apart from the others. And each box is clearly separated, making the sequence of events easy to follow.

“You wanna try reading that?” Gladio asks.

He considers the question. And he finds that he does. The bright colours and the clear organisation are interesting. He wants to understand how the images are used to produce a story. And – he wants to understand what a story is for. Why it’s enjoyable. Because he’s seen several books with stories in them now, and it’s clear that it’s important in some way.

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, squirt,” Gladio says. “Tell me if there’s something you don’t get.”

He looks at the book. At the first box on the top left of the first page. And he reads.

~

It takes him a long time to read. It’s not that it’s complicated – there are some words he doesn’t know, but it’s much easier than the first sentence from the other book – but that he quickly finds himself getting confused. He has to look at each image carefully, because sometimes there are details that turn out to be important later on, but he doesn’t know which details they’ll be, so he just spends a lot of time looking at everything. And – it’s interesting. It’s interesting to see how the images are constructed. After a while, he starts to notice how the person who made the images is careful about how to place the ellipses that contain speech, and the boxes with contextual data, so that the image is still clear and the important details are still visible. But then he pays too much attention to how the image is structured and loses track of the words in the ellipses, so he has to go back and read again. So it takes him a long time. He’s only read ten pages when Gladio looks at his watch.

“Gotta get you back to Iggy,” he says. “If I mess up the schedule I’m a dead man.”

His heart jumps in his chest. Gladio looks at him and frowns. “What’s that for?” he says. “Thought you liked Iggy.”

He shakes his head. He remembers that before, Gladio said he’s going to kill me. But then Cor told him he didn’t mean it. That it meant something else, though he doesn’t know what. And now – Gladio’s said it again. That he’ll be killed. But – maybe it’s the same thing? He hopes it’s the same thing.

“Are you--?” he says. But he’s scared to ask, in case he’s wrong. But Gladio doesn’t seem scared. If Gladio was really in danger of being killed, wouldn’t he be scared? But he doesn’t seem scared. He’s frowning at him. And he’s supposed to ask questions. So he takes a deep breath.

“Is it serious?” he asks. “That – you’ll be dead?”

Gladio just stares at him for a moment. He looks confused. Then his face clears. He laughs and hits him on the arm.

“Fuck me,” he says. “We gotta teach you about figures of speech.”

He sits up. “Yes,” he says. The one with the black hair said he had to look up figure of speech, but he hasn’t had time yet. “What does it mean?”

Gladio puts a hand over his face. “Oh, man, how do I get myself into these things?” he mutters. Then he gestures to him. “Come on, I’ll tell you while we’re walking.”

So they walk. And Gladio explains.

“So it’s, uh – it’s like, sometimes people say things that aren’t literally true,” he says. “To make a point, or because it sounds cooler, or – to exaggerate.”

“You mean lying?” he asks.

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Gladio says. “Lying’s when – you’re trying to make someone believe something that isn’t true. But when you use a figure of speech, you’re not pretending it’s literally true, and the person you’re talking to knows it isn’t true, as well. It just makes language – more interesting.”

He considers this. But Gladio’s still talking.

“So, when I say I’m a dead man I don’t literally mean Iggy’s gonna kill me,” he says. “I just mean he’ll be annoyed. But it’s more interesting to say it that way, and I know you know I’m not serious.” He pauses. “I guess you didn’t know that, huh?”

“No,” he says. He’s still thinking. He wonders if this is why Cor is always asking him if he’s serious about things. Because humans, when they talk, say things that aren’t serious often. Because it’s interesting. He’s not sure it’s interesting. He thinks it’s confusing. He wonders how they know when someone’s telling the truth and when someone’s telling a figure of speech.

“Hey, remember some of those things you didn’t get in the first book we looked at?” Gladio says. “Like, uh – the bit with the land creaking. Remember that?”

“Yeah,” he says.

Gladio nods. “That’s another figure of speech,” he says. “The land isn’t really creaking, but the guy who wrote the book wants you to imagine how dry it is, so he writes it that way. It’s something that’s impossible, and that’s why it works to tell you how incredibly dry it is.”

He tries to understand this, but he can’t find the logical connection between this is impossible and this is very dry. He looks up at Gladio, and Gladio shakes his head and grins.

“Maybe that’s kinda advanced for our first class,” he says. “But that’s the general idea, anyway.”

He thinks about what the one with the black hair said. She told him to look up figure of speech when he was asking why Cor had said she could read his thoughts when she couldn’t. So – then that was a figure of speech, too. He tries to decipher what Cor actually meant. But then they arrive at Ignis’ apartment and Gladio opens the door.

“Got a package for ya,” he says. “Don’t worry, I treated him nice. Keep that book, OK, squirt? Read some more before next week.”

He looks at the book in his hand – the one with all the images. “Thank you,” he says.

Gladio hits him on the back and then turns to go. Inside the room, Ignis is waiting for him. So he goes inside.

~

Two days later, Cor comes into the room where he sleeps in the evening and looks around. He opens the closet and looks under the bed. Then he nods.

“Shouldn’t take long,” he says, and turns to him. “My agent exchanged contracts on the new house today.”

“Oh,” he says. “What does it mean?”

“Remember the house we went to see by the park?” Cor says. “I bought it. So now we’re going to go and live there.”

He stands up a little straighter. “Now?” he says. He thinks about the house, with the room that looked out at the park.

Cor laughs. “Not right now,” he says. “Tomorrow. I got guys coming to move our stuff, but I figured you might want to pack some things yourself.”

“Oh,” he says. He looks around the room. “Yes,” he says. “The plants.”

“Yeah, kiddo, the plants,” Cor says, smiling a little. “We’ll make sure they make it safely.” He looks around again. “You wanna take that picture?”

He looks at the image on the wall. “Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know what it’s meant to represent. But it feels familiar.

“OK,” Cor says. He rubs his head. “Get some sleep,” he says. “Big day tomorrow.”

~

It’s a big day tomorrow.

He doesn’t sleep.

~

The next day, Cor gives him a box and he puts the books that Ignis and Gladio gave him into it. Then he puts the clothes from the closet into it. Then he looks for anything else he can put into it. He tries to put the image from the wall into it, but it doesn’t fit. And he doesn’t want to put the plants into it because he thinks they might be damaged. And it seems inefficient to put the yellow bag into it, since the bag is intended for carrying objects and so is the box. So he doesn’t put anything else into it.

Cor comes back after a while and looks at the box.

“That’s all, huh?” he says.

He looks at the box. “Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “I guess – we should probably get you some more stuff some time,” he says.

He doesn’t understand Cor’s reasoning. If there was more stuff, he wouldn’t be able to fit it all into the box.

“The bed?” he says.

“The removal guys will get the bed,” Cor says. “Come on. Let’s get this in the car.”

He takes the box down to the car. Then he takes the plants down. The night-time silent one helps him carry them.

“Exciting, right?” the night-time silent one says.

He thinks about it. He’s been awake all night, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the park, and the house, with the high ceilings and the windows. He’s tired, and his chest feels painful from how much it keeps swelling.

“Yes,” he says. “Exciting.”

~

In the car, he looks out of the window. He looks and looks. He wants to see where they’re going. They’ve been there once before, but he didn’t realise then that it was so important. But there are a lot of streets and houses and he loses track. If he was a level three, he would have a navigation element. But he’s a level two, so he loses track.

When they come to the street, though, he recognises it. He recognises the trees growing out of the street, and he recognises the houses that are only two storeys tall. Cor pulls in in front of the house and he looks at it. Ignis and Gladio are standing in front of it, and Noctis is sitting on the steps.

“We got visitors already,” Cor says. He looks at him. “Guess your friends want to see your new place, huh?”

“Yes,” he says, because Cor said huh? and that means he should say yes. He gets out of the car and Noctis stands up and comes down the steps.

“This is it, right?” he says. “Ignis said it was this one.”

“Marshal, I apologise for invading your personal time,” Ignis says. “His Highness was quite determined to help you move in.”

Noctis looks at the car. “You don’t have any stuff,” he says. “Where’s your – like, your furniture and stuff?”

“I don’t know,” he says. He looks at Cor.

“We’ve got people to move that for us, Highness,” Cor says.

“Oh,” Noctis says. He frowns.

“Told ya,” Gladio mutters.

“Yeah, but – you’ve got boxes, right?” Noctis says.

The night-time silent one gets out of the car. He holds out the plants he’s carrying.

“If you want something to carry, Highness,” he says. “I’ll get the box.”

“Oh. Yeah, thanks,” Noctis says. He takes the plants and looks at him. “So… are we going in?”

He looks at Cor. Cor holds up a key.

“Let’s do it,” he says.

They climb the steps. He walks next to Cor, and Noctis comes behind him with the plants. Cor unlocks the door and pushes it open, and then they step through. Cor looks at him and smiles.

“Welcome home,” he says.

He remembers home. He remembers wondering if his home was the facility or Cor’s apartment. But now he knows. It’s here. Cor said it, so it’s here, in this house that’s by the park. He feels suddenly full of empty space and light, like the house. He stands in the hall and feels scared to move, in case
something breaks and all of this is gone.

“Hey,” Noctis says, nudging him in the back. “Where’s your room? You want the plants there, right?”

He looks at Cor. Cor’s still smiling.

“Upstairs,” he says to Noctis. “It’s the one with the best view.”

“Right,” Noctis says, and starts up the stairs. Cor nods at him and then at the stairs, and he understands and turns to follow. It’s good. Nothing’s broken. It’s all still here.

He finds Noctis in the room he saw before, when he came here the first time. Noctis is turning around and around in the middle of the room.

“Nice,” he says when he comes in. “Where do you want the plants?”
He looks around. “They’re supposed to be by the window,” he says. “They need light so they can photosynthesise.”

Noctis makes a strange face, then puts the plants by the window. “This is a cool house,” he says. “So – that means you’re here for good, now, right? I mean, Cor got a house for you, so--”

He doesn’t know what for good means. But before he can answer, Noctis turns and stares out of the window.

“Hey, so – Ignis says you’ve got a last name now?” he says. He looks at him out of the corners of his eyes. “Right?”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s Argentum. Cor said it was OK.”

“Huh,” Noctis says. He stares out of the window. He doesn’t look pleased. He feels his heart sink a little. Cor thought Argentum was a good last name, but he thinks Noctis doesn’t like it.

“It’s – the name of the person who wrote the music,” he says. He wants to explain, so that Noctis will like the name. “He’s dead now.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Noctis says. “But – I mean, it’s cool and all, but I just thought you’d pick Leonis, so.” He looks at him out of the corners of his eyes again. “I thought – that’s what I thought you’d pick.”

He frowns. “Leonis is Cor’s last name,” he says. He remembers that from the schedule.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “Exactly. I mean, I thought you guys were like--” He shrugs. “I know he’s not your dad or whatever, but--” He gestures at the room. “It’s kinda the same, right? Don’t you want to – I don’t know, stay here?”

It’s difficult to follow what Noctis is saying. The different sentences don’t seem to fit together. “Yeah,” he says. “I want to stay here.” He wonders why Noctis would think he doesn’t. “Cor says we’re going to live here now,” he adds. Cor said welcome home.

“Yeah, so – but then why didn’t you pick Leonis?” Noctis asks.

He shakes his head. He feels confused. “Leonis is Cor’s last name,” he says. “He already has it.”

“Yeah, but--” Noctis starts. But then he stops and turns to face him, frowning. “Wait – what do you mean already has it?”

“Cor already has it,” he says. “So I can’t have it.” Even though it’s a good name. It makes him think of Cor, and that’s good.

Noctis stares at him. “But--” he says again, and then, “Hey, you get that more than one person can have the same last name, right? I mean – that’s the whole point of last names.”

He blinks. “I--” he says. But he can’t think of how to respond. Is Noctis being serious, or is he using a figure of speech? “But I thought – but everyone has different last names,” he says. “You and Cor and Gladio and Ignis.”

“Ye-eah, but – that’s because we’re not related,” Noctis says. “You have the same last name as people you’re related to. That’s how people can tell you’re related.”

He feels – suddenly very confused. “Related?” he says.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “Like, I have the same last name as my dad, because we’re related. And Gladio has the same last name as his dad and his sister. So – I mean, I know Cor’s not your dad, but – I just thought--”

“Your Highness,” says another voice then. He turns and sees Ignis in the doorway. He doesn’t look pleased. “I rather think this is a conversation for Cor and Prompto to have with each other,” he says.

“Huh?” Noctis says. “But Cor hasn’t even told him about last names, so--”

“I am aware of that,” Ignis says. “But you can’t--” Ignis looks at him suddenly, then makes a gesture to Noctis. Noctis goes out of the room with Ignis, and Prompto hears Ignis say I know it’s frustrating, but you can’t interfere in-- before he remembers he’s not supposed to listen to other people’s conversations and turns his hearing all the way down. Then he stands in the room and looks at the door. He tries to understand what Noctis said. He knows what related means. But when Noctis used it, it seemed to mean something else from the meaning he knows. And Noctis – asked him if he wanted to stay here. But Cor said they would live here now. And he wants to do that. He likes looking out of the window at the park, and he likes that the house makes him feel empty and full of light. But he doesn’t understand what it has to do with last names.

The silent one appears in the doorway with the box with the books and clothes in it.

“Got your stuff,” he says, then looks around. “Nowhere to put it yet, huh?” He puts the box in the corner. “Nice view.”

“Yes,” he says. He likes the view. He wants to stay here. Cor said welcome home.

He wants to stay.

~

Noctis doesn’t talk to him about last names again, and he thinks it’s probably good. Then some people arrive in a large vehicle with the furniture from Cor’s apartment. They bring the furniture in and put it into the rooms of the house. The bed from the room he slept in in Cor’s apartment goes into the room Cor said he can sleep in now. And the closet, and the small table and chair. The people hang the image on the wall. And then he takes everything out of the box and puts it all away. Then the room looks like the room he slept in at Cor’s apartment, but different. Bigger, and lighter, with more air in it. And the view is more interesting.

Even though Gladio says they don’t have many things, it takes most of the day for everything to be put in place and taken out of boxes. He didn’t sleep all night, and he starts to feel tired and heavy. Noctis and Ignis and Gladio leave halfway through the afternoon, because Noctis has to go to some kind of meeting. And then the people who brought the furniture finish putting it in the house and leave too. So then it’s only him and Cor and the daytime silent one.

“Just you and me, huh, kid?” Cor says. “You want some dinner?”

“Yes,” he says. But then his head spins a little, and Cor reaches out.

“Whoa, hey,” he says. “You all right? Feel sick?”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t feel sick. He just feels very tired.

Cor nods. “Sit down,” he says. He pushes him onto the couch, then goes into the kitchen. He sits on the couch and thinks about how big the room is. He thought the couch was big – it looked big in the kitchen at Cor’s apartment – but in this room with the high ceilings and empty space, it looks much smaller. There’s nothing else in the room, and it echoes oddly. He likes the space, but he thinks maybe if there were more things in the room – maybe some images on the walls – then it would be even better.

Cor comes back in with a mug. “Soup,” he says. “Then it’s time to get some sleep. OK, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. He drinks the soup and thinks about going to bed. He feels very tired. He thinks about how soft the bed is. And tomorrow he’ll wake up and he’ll be able to look out of the window at the park.

“Hey,” Cor says sharply, and he blinks and sits up. Cor’s holding the cup and has a hand on his arm. “No falling asleep with hot liquids in your hands, OK, kid?” he says.

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.”

He thinks it wasn’t quite the right response, but Cor just shakes his head and squeezes his arm.

“All right, you need sleep more than you need food,” he says. “Go upstairs. I’ll come check on you in a few.”

He stumbles to his feet and goes out into the hall. He climbs the stairs, thinking about Cor saying I’ll come check on you. And Cor saying welcome home. His stomach feels warm from the soup. But his whole body feels warm. Warm and heavy and – like everything fits. It all fits.

He gets to the top of the stairs and goes into the room where he sleeps. Except it’s the wrong room. He turned the wrong way – the way he used to turn at Cor’s apartment – and now he’s in Cor’s room. Cor’s room is much bigger than the one he had before, but it still only has a bed and a table by the bed and a closet. The bed is wider than the one he sleeps in, but the room is big so the bed looks small. The room echoes. It looks empty, even though there are some things in it.

“Hey,” says the night-time silent one behind him. “You know you’re in the wrong room, right?”

He turns around. He feels sleepy and strange. He goes out of Cor’s room into the room where he’s going to sleep. He puts on his sleeping clothes and looks at the plants by the window and the image on the wall, and at the colourful cover on the bed and the books on the shelf and the yellow bag in the corner. It looks like the room he slept in at Cor’s apartment. Not exactly the same. But there’s a similar feeling, because all the same things are there. Because – it feels affiliated. But Cor’s room doesn’t feel like anything. It just feels empty.

There’s a knock at the door and he looks up. It’s Cor, standing in the doorway. He looks around the room and smiles.

“You all set here?” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says. Then he reaches over to the shelf by the window and picks up the cactus. “I want – you could put this in your room,” he says, holding it out.

Cor frowns at him. “Huh?” he says.

He realises he didn’t explain it very well. He feels half asleep, but he thinks this is important. “Because – it’s empty,” he says. “If you had this – it would be less empty.”

Cor stares at him. Then he comes into the room and sits down in the chair.

“That’s your cactus, kid,” he says. “That belongs to you.”

He nods. “I could still look after it,” he says.

Cor rubs a hand over his mouth. Then he shakes his head. “Guess I really suck at interior decor, huh?” he says at last.

He doesn’t know what interior decor means. He blinks. His eyelids feel heavy.

Cor stands up and takes the cactus from him. But he doesn’t take it into his room. Instead, he puts it back on the windowsill. Then he clears his throat.

“OK, how’s this?” he says. “You keep your plants, and you go to sleep, and tomorrow you can help me find things to make my room less – empty. OK?”

He tries to think about what Cor said. He thinks it sounds good. And then he can go to sleep.

“Yeah,” he says, and lies down. He pulls the covers over him and closes his eyes.

There’s a click and he thinks that Cor must have switched off the light. His thoughts are already drifting. But he feels a hand on his forehead.

“You’re a good kid,” Cor says from somewhere very far away.

~

When he opens his eyes, he’s outside.

It’s dark and the ground is wet. There are bright white streetlights and the light reflects off the puddles on the sidewalk. His feet are wet, too. And cold. He looks down to see he isn’t wearing any shoes.

He turns around. He’s outside. But he doesn’t recognise where he is. There are buildings on either side of the street, with high walls around them. The walls have razor wire at the top. No lights are on in any of the buildings. He doesn’t recognise anything.

It’s raining. He’s wet. His clothes are wet. He’s wearing his sleeping trousers and the shirt with the yellow birds on it. He’s carrying his yellow bag. His clothes are wet. He’s cold. He’s cold. He doesn’t know where he is.

He blinks and swallows. His heart is thudding in his head. He turns around and around. But he doesn’t recognise anything. It doesn’t look like anywhere he’s been before. His feet hurt. And he doesn’t know where he is.

He doesn’t know where he is.

Chapter 41

Notes:

Dear friends, I find myself unable to find time to both answer comments in a timely way and rapidly resolve the cliffhanger that has you all commenting furiously in the first place ;) Thus, a blanket response: thank you all so much, I appreciate your lovely comments, and I'm sorry for hanging you off this cliff (but not really) ♥

I also should add a quick content note, but to avoid being spoilery I have put it in the end notes, so click below if you want to read it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

He stands for a long time. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how he got to this place, and he hopes – he keeps hoping – that maybe Cor will come here if he waits for long enough. Because – maybe Cor brought him here, and left him here, and then he forgot, but Cor will come back soon. He forgot things before. So maybe he forgot again. Or maybe it’s a dream, and if he waits long enough, he’ll wake up and the dream will be over, and he’ll be in the house by the park. So he stands and waits.

He stands and waits. But Cor doesn’t come, and he doesn’t wake up. And he doesn’t think it’s a dream, because – it’s not strange. In dreams everything is strange and doesn’t make sense. But here, even though it doesn’t make sense that he’s here, everything else makes sense. His feet are cold, and his arms. His hair and clothes are wet. There are no giant fish or birds. And–

–and he remembers when he woke up and his hair was wet and his foot was bleeding. And other times, too, when he’s woken up and he hasn’t been in the same place he was when he went to sleep. And he knows. Even though he keeps hoping, closing his eyes and hoping that Cor will be there when he opens them, he knows Cor didn’t bring him here. He came here by himself. But he doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t know how to get back.

He looks down the road in one direction. Then he looks down the road in the other direction. He can do three things: he can go one way, or he can go the other way, or he can stay where he is. He could climb over one of the walls with razor wire, too, but he discards that possibility. If he goes one of the two ways, maybe he’ll be able to find something he recognises, and then he’ll be able to find out where he is. But if he stays where he is, maybe Cor will come and find him. Or someone else will come and tell him what to do. He wants someone to come and tell him what to do. He wants Cor to find him. He wants–

He closes his eyes. His head hurts. And he’s crying. But crying isn’t useful. He can’t cry, it isn’t useful. He has to decide what to do. No-one’s here to tell him, so he has to decide whether it’s better to stay or to go. But he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how to decide which one is right. Because either of them could be right. He engages his combat strategic element, but it only returns an error. He’s not in a combat situation. He’s just – lost.

He’s lost. And if he came here by himself, then Cor won’t know how to find him. So he has to go and find a different place, where Cor will find him, or where he’ll find Cor. So he has to go. That’s what he has to do. He looks down the road in one direction, then in the other. In the second direction, he sees that the sky is slightly lighter. He thinks the sun is getting close. That soon it will rise into the sky in that direction. So he takes a deep breath and starts walking in that direction.

It’s not raining any more, but the air is damp. His feet hurt. They’re cold, but they hurt as well. His whole body is cold. He walks, and his feet stop hurting, because they stop feeling anything. He thinks it’s good, because now his feet don’t hurt. But he knows it’s not good, because his feet shouldn’t be numb. But he can’t think about it, because thinking about it makes him feel like he can’t breathe. He can’t think about anything. Everything he thinks about makes him feel like he can’t breathe. So he has to stop thinking. But he doesn’t know how to stop thinking.

He wonders if Cor is awake yet. It’s still dark, but it’s getting lighter. It’s getting lighter in the direction he’s going in. And Cor often gets up when it’s still dark. If Cor’s awake, does he know that he’s not there? Is he angry? He’s not supposed to – do this. This. Whatever he’s done. He knows he’s not supposed to do it. Cor’s never told him not to do it, but that’s only because Cor doesn’t know that he does it sometimes. Because he hasn’t told Cor. Because he knew Cor would be angry. But now everything’s worse, because Cor’s going to find out – maybe Cor has already found out – and now he’ll really be angry. And now everything’s worse. It was all good and now he feels – he feels –

He has to stop walking because he can’t breathe. He stops walking and leans over. He puts his hands on his knees. He tries to breathe. He’s crying again. He can’t – do this. Stand here and cry like this. Because if he stays here, he won’t be able to get back. Even if Cor’s angry, he has to get back. Maybe Cor will be angry, but he doesn’t want to stay here, in this place. He wants to go back. So he can’t do this. So he has to stop.

He stops. It takes a long time. His chest hurts. His thoughts go round in circles. He realises he’s holding the yellow bag in his hands. He’s holding the subspheroidal protuberance. His fingers are sunk into it. It feels damp. But soft. He squeezes it and lets it go. It makes him feel better. He doesn’t know why. But it’s good. It’s better. Because he can’t stop and stand and cry. He has to go, so he can – not be here.

So he goes. He holds the bag in his arms. Sometimes he squeezes the subspheroidal protuberance. The bag is bright under the streetlights. It’s good. It’s a good colour. Cor gave him the bag. It makes him feel less bad.

He walks. He still doesn’t recognise anything. Now it’s getting light. The sky is full of grey clouds. There are puddles of water on the ground. A car goes past. It’s the first movement he’s seen since he woke up. He stops and watches it as it drives away. Then he keeps walking.

He walks past a tall building with lots of windows. It’s like the building where Cor’s apartment is, but it’s not as smooth. The windows are smaller and the building is greyer and dirtier. Two people are standing outside the building talking quietly to each other. They stop talking and stare at him when he comes close to them. His mouth is dry. Should he ask one of the people about Cor? But he doesn’t think Cor wants him to talk to people he doesn’t know. He doesn’t have any orders about it. There are no instruction posters. There are no instructions.

He doesn’t talk to the people. He walks past them. They stare at him. But he doesn’t look at them. He looks in front of him. Then he looks to the sides. He looks for something he recognises. But he doesn’t recognise anything. He feels his throat closing. But he can’t stop moving. He can’t stop. So he swallows and squeezes the subspheroidal protuberance on the bag and tells his throat not to close. It doesn’t work completely. But it works a little.

There are more buildings like the first one. And now it’s getting lighter, and there are some people walking and cars driving. It’s not crowded like it always was near Cor’s apartment. But there are people and cars. Some people don’t look at him, but some people stare at him. He feels like something is inside him – like a wire, that’s pulled tight. And it keeps getting tighter, tighter and tighter, and it makes him feel like something in his mind is very loud. The tighter the wire gets, the louder the thing in his mind is. It’s not a voice. It’s not even – it’s not even really a noise. But it’s loud, even though it’s not a noise. It’s just loud. And it’s getting louder.

He keeps walking. There are other streets that join the street he’s walking down. But he doesn’t turn left or right. If he turns, he’ll get lost. He’s already lost. But if he turns, he might not be able to get back to where he started. Even though he knows Cor doesn’t know how to find him, he still wants to make sure he knows how to get back to where he started. So he walks towards the paler spot in the grey clouds that he knows is the sun. He keeps walking. He doesn’t turn.

He walks for a long time. Sometimes he’s walking past tall buildings, like the ones he saw before. Sometimes there are signs and big windows and places where you can go and have food or get clothes, like he’s seen before when he’s been out with Cor and Noctis. Then he comes to an empty space. There’s grass and a few trees, but it’s not like the parks he’s seen before. It’s smaller and dirtier, and the fence around it is much lower. But he goes in, because he wants to see the grass. He goes in, and he finds a bench and sits on it. He looks down at his feet and he sees they’re blotchy, red and white, and one of them has blood on it. The thing in his head that isn’t a noise is very loud. He can’t hear anything else. He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe.

Then everything is strange for a little while. The world spins and blurs, and he thinks perhaps he’s dying. He doesn’t know why he would die now, but it’s clear that there’s some major malfunction – not just because he can breathe and can’t see and can’t hear, but because he went to sleep in the house by the park and woke up somewhere else. Something isn’t right. Something isn’t right. And the thought makes the spinning and blurring even worse, and he thinks that he’ll die because he can’t breathe.

Then he hears someone talking. At first it’s just a murmuring, because of the thing in his head that isn’t a noise. But then the thing gets quieter, and then he opens his eyes and he sees a person. The person is standing in front of him. The person is very tall and has long, purple hair. And – the person is familiar. He knows him from somewhere. But – he can’t remember where. The person looks strange enough that he thinks he ought to remember where he’s seen him before. But he doesn’t.

“My, my,” the one with the purple hair says. He reaches down and puts a hand on his chin and jaw, tilting his head up. Then he pulls him to his feet – he pulls on his jaw until he stands up. The one with the purple hair is much taller than him. His grip on his jaw hurts. The one with the purple hair looks down at him and smiles. “This is not what I was expecting at all,” he says.

He blinks. Things become less blurry. There were tears in his eyes, but now they’re rolling down his cheeks. The one with the purple hair leans closer, still smiling. He touches one of the tears. He puts his head on one side and stares at him.

“Coloured lenses?” he says. “How ingenious. And what’s this?” He uses his other hand to grab his arm and raises it, looking at the strap that Noctis gave him. His eyebrows rise. His smile widens. “Oh, delightful,” he says. “I must say, this little experiment is turning out to be even more interesting than I thought.”

He swallows. His heart is beating fast. It feels like it’s fluttering in his chest. He thinks he’s met the one with the purple hair before. But he doesn’t remember where. He tries to remember. It makes him think of darkness and cold. And of someone saying follow me, kid.

The one with the purple hair looks sharply back at his face. “Oh, tish tish,” he says. “We can’t be having that. Those things are better off forgotten, dear boy.” The grip on his jaw tightens again. The one with the purple hair is smiling, but somehow he looks angry as well. He looks at him very closely. His eyes seem to lose focus. Then he raises his eyebrows again.

“Oh, hello,” he says. “Oh, yes. Yes, this could be quite – perfect.” He hums, a few chimes from a music that he doesn’t know. “Do you know, dear boy, I have no idea how this may turn out? But whichever way, I think it will be very entertaining. And you–” His eyes focus again. “Keep a close eye on our dear prince, won’t you?”

Prince is one of the names for Noctis. He can’t keep a close eye on Noctis because he doesn’t know where Noctis is. But he can’t reply because the one with the purple hair is gripping his jaw too tightly.

“Now, then,” the one with the purple hair says. “I don’t think it’s very useful for you to remember this. Come here.” The one with the purple hair lets go of his wrist and puts his palm on his forehead. Then he feels a blinding flash of pain. He’s falling. And–

~

He’s sitting on a bench. He’s in a park. It’s not like the parks he’s seen before. It’s smaller and dirtier, and the fence around it is lower. He doesn’t know how he got to the park. He remembers walking past buildings with signs where people can have food or get clothes. And now he’s here. It’s like when he went to sleep in the house by the park and woke up somewhere else. Except he didn’t go to sleep. He was walking, and then he was here. And – he hurts. His jaw hurts. And his arm. But he doesn’t remember hurting his jaw. He feels – confused. And scared. And lost.

He pulls the yellow bag into his lap and squeezes the subspheroidal protuberance. Cor isn’t here. Nobody’s here. He’s on his own. He doesn’t know where he is.

He pulls his feet up onto the bench and puts his arms around his knees. It makes him feel safer, but he doesn’t know why. His feet feel strange. They look strange. He feels cold. There’s a pain in his stomach. He doesn’t know where he is.

He sits. He was walking before. He walked and walked. But he didn’t find anything. He didn’t see anything he knew. And – he doesn’t want to walk any more. He feels tired. He feels like there’s something heavy inside him. It makes everything feel heavy. He feels too heavy to move. He thinks about walking more and it makes him feel like he can’t even lift his head. He puts his head down on his knees. He feels so tired.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there for. He feels very cold. His stomach hurts more, then it stops hurting. It rains again – not hard, but enough that he gets wet.

Then someone walks by and stops. It’s not the first person who’s walked by. Other people have walked by, and some have looked at him, but no-one has stopped. But this person stops. This person has black hair and is wearing a green jacket. The person looks at him and frowns.

“You OK, kid?” the person asks.

He swallows. The person’s voice is different from Cor’s. But the words make him think of Cor. You OK, kid? Cor says that to him a lot. And he says yes. But he isn’t OK now. And the person isn’t Cor.

“Yes,” he says. He tries to say it. But his voice doesn’t come out properly. He can’t even hear it properly, so the one with the green jacket won’t have heard it either.

The one with the green jacket turns to face him. “Hey,” he says. “Something happen? Where are your shoes?”

He looks at his feet. They look strange. They’re splotchy, red and white. “I don’t know,” he says.

The one with the green jacket stands and looks at him for a moment. Then he sits down on the bench and turns towards him. “You have a fight with your parents?” he asks.

The last time he fought was with Gladio, when his combat skills were being tested. But he doesn’t know what parents means. He’s tried to find out, but Royal Lucian Dictionary didn’t provide a clear answer. “No,” he says, because he thinks that it’s probably right.

The one with the green jacket nods. “OK,” he says. He sits for a moment in silence. “You live round here?” he asks.

“No,” he says. He doesn’t know where the house by the park is, but he doesn’t think it’s around here. He’s lost.

“You got people looking for you?” the one with the green jacket asks.

He doesn’t know. Cor will know he’s gone by now. Will he look for him? Maybe. He thinks – he wants to think Cor will. But he doesn’t know. Because he wasn’t supposed to do this. And he thinks Cor will be angry.

His throat starts to close again, and the one with the green jacket puts a hand on his arm.

“Hey, no, it’s OK,” he says. “I get it, OK? It’s fine.” Then he shakes his head. “Shit, you’re freezing,” he says. “How long have you been sitting out here?”

“I don’t know,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

The one with the green jacket nods. “Listen,” he says. “Listen, I know this sounds weird, but – the weather says it’s gonna rain again tonight and – have you got anywhere to go? I’ve got a pull-out couch – I swear I’m not an axe murderer, just – you know, I’ve been there. And – you know, just tell me to go jump or whatever if you want. Just – the offer’s there.”

He looks at the one with the green jacket. He doesn’t understand what he said. Most of it seemed – nonsensical. But he understood the question: have you got anywhere to go? So he answers it.

“I don’t know where to go,” he says.

The one with the green jacket tightens his grip on his arm. “You wanna come with me, then?” he says. “Just until you figure shit out. It’s not much, but it’s warm.”

He’s not sure whether it’s an order or a question. But he wants it to be an order. And – the one with the green jacket is holding his arm and standing up. So he should stand up, too. So he thinks it was an order. It’s good. He doesn’t know who the one with the green jacket is. But maybe he knows what he’s supposed to do now. So he stands up. The yellow bag falls to the ground. He stoops and picks it up.

The one with the green jacket looks at the bag. He looks at him. “That yours?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. Cor gave it to him, so it’s his. “It’s for carrying books.”

The one with the green jacket stands still, frowning at him. He looks at the bag again, then at him. “How old are you, kid?” he asks.

He swallows. “I don’t know,” he says. He doesn’t know the number of days since he was initially removed from gestation. It’s a lot of days. He doesn’t know how many.

The one with the green jacket’s frown deepens. Then he shrugs. “OK,” he says. “This way.”

~

The one with the green jacket takes him to a tall building. They go inside, then up in an elevator. The elevator is older and dirtier than the one in Cor’s building or the one in the building with the purple light. There are dents and scratches on the doors. It makes a clanking sound and there are no chimes playing.

The doors open and they go out. They go down a dark hallway and the one with the green jacket opens a door. Inside is a room with a small window. The room has a couch and a screen and a chair. There are other doors opening off the room. The window is small, and outside it’s starting to rain, so the room is dark.

“Sit down,” the one with the green jacket says. He gestures at the couch, so he sits. It’s warm in the room. But it’s not like being at Ignis’ apartment, or being in the kitchen at Cor’s apartment. He feels like he doesn’t want to be there. It doesn’t feel good. But the one with the green jacket ordered him to come. So he has to be there.

“What’s your name, kid?” the one with the green jacket asks.

“Prompto Argentum,” he says. Before, when he said it, it made him feel good. He liked the way it sounded: Prompto Argentum. But he doesn’t feel good now.

The one with the green jacket stares at him. “Who with the what now?” he says, and then shakes his head. “OK, you don’t want to tell me, that’s cool. I get it. Like I say, I’ve been there.”

He doesn’t understand where it is the one with the green jacket has been. He thinks he should ask. The one with the black hair told him to ask questions. But – he doesn’t want to ask. He doesn’t know the one with the green jacket. He doesn’t know if it’s right to ask questions or not. And – he doesn’t want to. He just wants to go back to the house by the park.

“Let’s get you some dry clothes,” the one with the green jacket says. “My stuff’s gonna be too big, but – you got anything else? You bring anything with you?”

The one with the green jacket gestures at the yellow bag. He looks at it. He doesn’t know if there’s anything inside it. It’s supposed to be for carrying books. But it doesn’t feel very heavy, so he doesn’t think there are any books in there. But he opens it just in case.

Inside are the plants. The plant with the red leaves, and the plant with the yellow flowers, and the cactus. They’re inside the bag. There’s earth in the bag, too. It’s come out of the pots that the plants are in. The plants aren’t standing upright. They’ve fallen over in the bag. Some of the flowers have come off the plant with the yellow flowers. He reaches into the bag and takes it out, then picks up one of the flowers that has come off. But he can’t see how to reattach it. He doesn’t know if it’s possible to reattach it. His throat and eyes are burning. He didn’t know the plants were in the bag and now – the flowers have come off.

The one with the green jacket sits down on the chair and stares at him. “Plants?” he says. “You have plants in your bag?”

He stares at the plant with the yellow flowers. He can’t see any way to reattach the flowers. “I’m supposed to look after them,” he says. His voice sounds strange. He realises he’s crying again. He doesn’t want to cry. He doesn’t want to be here. He wants to be back at the house by the park.

The one with the green jacket stares at him. Then he stands up. “Let’s put it by the window,” he says. He takes the plant and puts it by the window. “It’s OK,” he says. “It’ll be OK there.”

He swallows. Then he takes the plant with the red leaves and the cactus out of the bag. The one with the green jacket puts them by the window. Then he sits down next him on the couch. He reaches up and brushes the tears off his cheeks. “Don’t cry,” he says. “You’re really lost, huh?”

“Yes,” he whispers. He’s really lost. He doesn’t know how to find his way back.

The one with the green jacket puts a hand on his knee. “I’m gonna take good care of you, OK?” he says. “So don’t cry.”

He tries to stop, and eventually he manages it.

But he doesn’t feel better.

~

The one with the green jacket tells him to take a shower and gives him some dry clothes. The latrine room is very small and not very clean. He showers, and it makes him feel warmer. Then he puts on the dry clothes. When he looks in the mirror, he sees that his eyes are blue. He’s wearing the fake blue eyes. It makes sense – he can see even though he’s not wearing the glasses. But he didn’t know he’d put the fake eyes in. He wasn’t wearing them when he went to sleep. He did a lot of things that he can’t remember doing. He’s malfunctioning. It’s a bad malfunction.

When he comes back out of the latrine room, the one with the green jacket isn’t there. He stands in the small room with the couch and wonders what to do. He looks at the plants by the window. They don’t look good. It wasn’t good for them to be in the bag. He looks in the bag at the earth that came out of the plant pots. He tries to scoop the earth out of the bag and put it back into the pots. It’s not very easy. And it makes his chest hurt, because the plants look bad. Some leaves are crooked and some are hanging strangely. But the cactus looks the same. So at least the cactus isn’t damaged.

The door to the outside hallway opens. He turns around and sees the one with the green jacket come in. He’s carrying a plastic bag.

“Got dinner,” he says.

Outside, it’s dark now. It’s raining hard. He knows it’s cold and dark and wet outside. But when the one with the green jacket comes in, he wants to go outside. He wants to go somewhere else. He wants to go and find Cor. But he doesn’t know how.

The one with the green jacket takes a small polyhedron out of the bag and gestures to him and then to the couch.

“I don’t have a table, sorry,” he says.

He sits on the couch. The one with the green jacket hands him the polyhedron. “Hope you like cheeseburgers,” he says, and sits down on the chair, pulling another polyhedron out of the bag.

He’s seen Noctis eat a cheeseburger before. He finds that the polyhedron opens up, and inside is the same kind of food he saw Noctis eat. He’s never eaten one. He’s never eaten anything that’s so – solid. He swallows. He feels a pain in his stomach, like the one he felt in the morning. He picks up the cheeseburger. The smell of it makes the pain in his stomach intensify. He opens his mouth. It’s difficult – he has to open his mouth wide to fit the cheeseburger in. Then he bites down. Then he tries to chew. It’s difficult. His mouth’s very full. It’s hard to breathe. He’s still not very skilled at chewing. He bits his tongue. But he has to keep chewing until – until he can swallow. He keeps chewing. The cheeseburger gets moist and shrinks in his mouth. It feels – disgusting. He swallows. It hurts. He can feel the food in a lump halfway down his chest. He performed poorly at eating. He wants to tell the one with the green jacket that he hasn’t attempted to eat at this level before. But the one with the green jacket isn’t even looking at him. So maybe he didn’t notice how poorly he performed.

He tries to eat more of the cheeseburger. He manages two more bites. He takes smaller ones this time, and it improves the process. But then he doesn’t want to eat any more. He tries to make himself eat, but he doesn’t want to. The idea of chewing and swallowing makes him feel bad. It makes his stomach feel bad. He stares at the cheeseburger. He doesn’t know what to do.

“Not hungry?” the one with the green jacket asks.

“No,” he says. He doesn’t get hungry.

The one with the green jacket shrugs. “Wanna watch some TV?” he says.

He doesn’t know what TV is, though he’s heard Cor and Noctis say it before. “Yes,” he says.

The one with the green jacket takes away the cheeseburger then sits next to him on the couch. He turns on the screen. He expects it to show a game, like the screen Noctis uses sometimes in Ignis’ apartment. But it shows images of people talking and performing activities. There’s a person with long blonde hair shouting at a tall person in a blue t-shirt.

“Oh, I love this movie,” the one with the green jacket says. He’s sitting very close to him, pressed up against his side. It feels warm, but it doesn’t feel good like when Cor sits close to him. It makes him feel like he wants to move away. But he can’t move because the arm of the couch is in the way.

“You know, I heard the actress fucked the director for the part,” the one with the green jacket says. Then he looks at him and smiles in a strange way. “You know what fucking is?”

“Yes,” he says. He wants to move away, but he can’t. “It means something’s bad.”

The one with the green jacket shakes his head. “Who told you that?” he says. “Fucking’s not bad. It can be really good. You just need the right person to show you.”

He feels – wrong. Everything feels wrong. He wants to go somewhere else. But he can’t, because – he’s here. The one with the green jacket told him to come here. And – and –

“Hey, it’s OK,” the one with the green jacket says. “Don’t be scared. It’s all going to be fine, kid, you’ll see.” He shifts a little further away on the couch. “You look beat. Why don’t you go sleep in the bed? I’ll take the couch tonight.”

He stands up. He’s tired. But he feels awake. Like the wire inside him has started tightening again.

“Through there,” the one with the green jacket says. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He goes through the door the one in the green jacket points to. On the other side is a small room with a bed and a closet. He closes the door. Then he feels a little better. He doesn’t have any clothes to sleep in, so he lies down on the bed in the clothes he’s wearing. He doesn’t think he’ll sleep – he feels too awake, even though he’s tired. He lies in the bed and stares up at the ceiling. He wants to stand up and go and walk out of the apartment and go down in the elevator and out onto the street. And then Cor will find him. He thinks about what it might be like. Cor would be driving down the street and see him. And then Cor would get out of the car and say Hey, kid. You OK? And then Cor would take him back to the house by the park. That’s what would happen. That’s what he thinks.

Except he thinks Cor would be angry. And he doesn’t know how Cor would find him. But he doesn’t want to think about Cor being angry. So he thinks about the same thing again: about Cor driving, and stopping, and saying Hey, kid. You OK? And then he would be OK, so he could say yes. And then Cor would tell him to get in the car, and the night-time silent one would be in the back seat. And then everything would be better.

He thinks about it. He thinks about the same thing over and over, even though he knows it won’t happen. But he thinks about it anyway. It makes his chest hurt less. And it makes the wire that’s twisted tight inside him untwist a little. And it makes him feel like maybe he could sleep.

So he sleeps.

~

When he wakes up, he’s in a park. It’s daytime, and the sky is blue. The sun is warm and the air feels soft on his skin. There’s nobody else there. He’s wearing an MT uniform, but his feet are bare and one of them is bleeding. The blood makes the grass sizzle.

There’s someone behind him. He turns and finds another MT unit standing a few feet away. The other MT unit is staring at him. The other MT unit looks angry.

“Why don’t you just get out of the way?” the other MT unit says.

He looks around. He doesn’t seem to be in the way to anything. There’s just grass, stretching away from him in all directions, and trees in the distance.

“Just get out of the way,” the other MT unit says. “You ruin everything.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know where to go,” he says.

The MT unit steps closer. “Get out of my way,” he says. “Get out of my way.”

“I don’t know how,” he whispers.

The other MT unit draws his gun. He lifts it and presses it to his forehead. “You ruin everything,” he says, and pulls the trigger.

Then he wakes up. He doesn’t know where he is. The bed smells strange and unfamiliar. And–

–and–

–there’s someone else in the bed. He’s lying on his side, and there’s someone lying behind him. Not touching him, but close enough that he can feel the heat coming from the other person. He can hear them breathing.

“Bad dreams?” the other person says. It’s the one with the green jacket.

He feels cold. Frozen. He didn’t know the one with the green jacket was going to sleep in the bed, too. He doesn’t want to sleep in the bed with the one with the green jacket. He wants to move, but he can’t make himself move. He checks his systems, but his motility is running as normal. But he can’t move.

The one with the green jacket turns over. He can feel the breath on the back of his neck. “I know how hard it is, believe me,” he says. Then he puts a hand on his side, at the bottom of his ribs. “Just relax,” he says. His voice is very close. And – it feels bad. It feels bad. He doesn’t want the one with the green jacket to be there, so close to him. But he doesn’t know what to do.

The one with the green jacket pushes his hand forward. He rubs it down over his stomach. He pushes his t-shirt up and puts his hand on his bare stomach. “You like this?” he says. His voice is low and quiet.

“No,” he says. It comes out very quietly. But the room is quiet, so he thinks the one with the green jacket must have heard him. But he doesn’t stop doing it.

“You just need to relax,” he says. “You know, you can’t just expect to get room and board for free.”

He wants to pull away, but he can’t move. He can’t breathe. His chest hurts and his ears are ringing. His head is spinning. The one with the green jacket moves closer. Then he makes a surprised noise.

“What’s this?” he says, touching the port at the base of his spine. “Body mod?”

And then–

–there’s a pain. It hurts for a second, just for a second, but it feels like every part of him is burning, and then–

–and then he’s on the street. He’s walking down the street. It’s dark. He’s carrying the plants in his hands. He has the bag on his back. He’s wearing the clothes the one with the green jacket gave him. He’s not wearing shoes. And his hands hurt. And he doesn’t know where he is.

He stops walking. He looks around. Across the street, he sees the park where he met the one with the green jacket. So he isn’t very far away from where he was before. But what – happened?

What happened?

It’s raining. It’s raining, but – he can’t hear it. He knows the noise it should make, a hissing noise on the street. But he can’t hear it. He hears a kind of ringing sound, like a single, pure chime. But he can’t hear the rain.

A car goes past. He doesn’t hear that, either. He just hears the ringing. He tries restarting his hearing. But when it comes back online, the ringing sound returns. And–

–and how did he get here? And what about the one with the green jacket?

He looks at his hands. They hurt. And he sees that the knuckles on one hand are scraped. There’s blood on that hand. But – it’s not his. It’s red blood, drying in splotches. Still drying. It’s not very much blood. But it’s there. And it’s not his. It’s red.

What happened?

He doesn’t know. But he knows that he’s outside again, and that the one with the green jacket isn’t here. So the orders – the orders are superseded. There aren’t any more orders. So he has to do what he was doing before. That’s the only thing he can do. So he doesn’t have to go back and ask the one with the green jacket for more orders. The orders are superseded. Because he’s outside now. And the one with the green jacket isn’t his commanding officer. Cor is his commanding officer. So he has to find Cor. He has to find him.

He turns to face in the direction he thinks he was walking before he woke up in the park.

And he walks.

Notes:

This chapter contains some sexual skeeviness including unwanted touching.

Chapter 42

Notes:

Phew! I am on a roll. Here's my new year present to you all ♥

And speaking of gifts, Worsdmythologic made another song! It's inspired by the scene where Prompto wakes up in the street without knowing where he is, so of course it's quite unsettling, but lovely. As always, I recommend you read the explanation posted on YouTube. You can find it here! Please make sure to leave love for the composer :D

Chapter Text

He’s been walking for some time when he realises something. The sky to his left is coloured strangely. He stops walking and looks at it. All the sky is glowing, a kind of orange-purple glow. He’s seen it before. Ignis says it’s what happens when there are low clouds covering the sky at night: the lights from the buildings and streets reflect off the clouds and make them look that colour. So that’s not hard to understand, even if it is strange to look at. But to his left, the purple-orange glow is more purple. He can’t see where the purple is coming from because the buildings that line the street are too tall. But he thinks – he thinks about the building where Ignis and the one with the black hair live. The purple light that comes from the building. And he thinks – he should try to find a way to look at the purple light to his left. To see where it’s coming from. Maybe that’s how he can find Cor.

He walks faster. He keeps going the way he was going before. But now he looks for a gap in the buildings. The buildings are tall, and he can only see a strip of sky. But he thinks if he comes to a wide street perpendicular to the street he’s walking on, he might be able to see more about the purple. Where the purple is coming from.

His head feels strange. It’s a sudden feeling – he feels one way, and then he feels a different way, like his head is suddenly very light and he can’t stand up correctly. He leans on the side of a building and tries not to drop the plants. He hugs them to his chest. When the feeling passes, he realises that some of the spikes from the cactus are embedded in his chest. He removes them carefully. He hopes it doesn’t damage the cactus to lose some of its spikes. It has a lot of spikes still.

He still can’t hear anything except the ringing chime. It’s a problem. He tries restarting his hearing again. Then he tries shutting it down and leaving it for several minutes before restarting it. There’s no change. It’s a problem. But being lost is a much bigger problem. So he focuses on that.

He comes to a larger street. It’s wide and it runs perpendicular to the street he’s walking on. He looks along the street, uphill. The extra purple in sky is coming from that direction. He can’t quite see. But it’s definitely more purple. So – he should go that way. He’s been going the same way all day, apart from when he was in the apartment with the one with the green jacket. He’s been going the same way and he still hasn’t found anything he recognises. So he should go this way. He should try and find where the extra purple is coming from.

He turns left. He starts walking along the broad street. He hasn’t been walking long when a car stops beside him. The car is white and it has blue lights attached to the roof. The lights are flashing. He stops and looks at the car. The person inside the car makes the window descend. The person is wearing dark blue clothes and a polygonal hat. The person says something to him.

He looks at the person. He can’t hear what the person is saying. He can only hear the ringing chime. He doesn’t know what to do. Should he try to respond? But he doesn’t know what the person said.

The one with the polygonal hat raises her eyebrows and speaks again. Then she opens the door and gets out of the car.

My hearing is malfunctioning, he says. He doesn’t know how loud he says it because he can’t hear himself. He doesn’t know if he says it loud enough to be heard at all.

The one with the polygonal hat speaks again. She frowns and waves her hand in front of his face, then speaks again. This time, her mouth makes exaggerated movements. He tries to decipher what the meaning might be from the movements, but he can’t interpret them well enough. He shakes his head. His chest is starting to hurt.

I can’t hear things, he says. Only the chime.

The one with the polygonal hat rolls her eyes and then turns back to the car. She leans into the window and speaks to the driver. Then she stands up again and reaches out. She taps him on the shoulder and pulls at the strap of his bag. She gestures at it. And he understands: she wants him to give her the bag. He doesn’t want to give it to her, because Cor gave it to him. If she takes it away and then he finds Cor, Cor will want to know where it is. He’s already lost the clothes he was wearing. The green shirt with the yellow birds on it. The green shirt is still in the apartment with the one with the green jacket. He doesn’t want to go back there. So he’s lost the green shirt. He doesn’t want to lose the yellow bag, too. But she tugs at the strap again, so he has to give it to her. So he puts down the plants on the ground and takes it off.

She takes the bag and opens it. She looks inside. She shrugs. Then she starts touching him. She pats all along his ribs and back and down his legs. It’s not pleasant, like when Cor touches him. He wants her to stop. But it doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t make him feel like he can’t breathe like it did when the one with the green jacket touched him, so that’s good.

Then she opens the back door of the car. She gestures for him to get inside. He doesn’t want to get inside the car, because he wants to see where the purple light is coming from. If he gets inside the car, it’ll be even more difficult for him to find Cor. But then she takes his shoulder and pushes him towards the car. So he can’t do anything. Even though he can’t hear the orders, he has to follow them. He reaches for the plants on the ground, but she pushes him harder and he has to get into the car. He looks up at her.

The plants, he says. He tries to say it loud enough to be heard, but he doesn’t know if he succeeds.

The one with the polygonal hat frowns down at him. Then she closes the door. But she stoops and picks up the plants from the ground. Then she gets into the front of the car, holding the yellow bag and the plants in her lap.

Then they drive. The person who’s driving has the same kind of polygonal hat. They’re both wearing the same kinds of clothes. So it’s a uniform. The only people he’s seen wearing uniforms since he was at the facility are the silent ones and some others dressed like them. But these uniforms aren’t the same, so these people aren’t from the building where Ignis lives. They must be from a facility. Not the facility he was in, because the uniforms aren’t the same. But some other facility. His stomach hurts as well, now. Are they taking him to the other facility? It’s been some time since he stopped thinking that Cor would eventually send him back to the facility. Because Cor said he wouldn’t, lots of times, and gave him the piece of paper that said it. He doesn’t know where the paper is now. He’s lost his clothes. Was the paper in the pocket of the clothes he lost? He doesn’t know. But he remembers what it said. And what Cor said. That no-one would send him back to the facility. But if these people are from another facility then – is that the same? It’s not the same as sending him back. And Cor isn’t here, so he can’t tell them not to. And he doesn’t know where the paper is, so he can’t show it to them.

He doesn’t know where the paper is. And now the one with the polygonal hat has the yellow bag and the plants. He watches them carefully. If she takes them away, he wants to know where she takes them. If Cor – when Cor finds him, he wants to be able to tell him what happened to them.

They drive. The ringing chime in his head starts to behave strangely. Instead of being a single, pure chime, it starts wavering up and down. Sometimes it disappears entirely, and then he can hear the world again for a short moment. He hears rumble of the car and the sound of static. Then the chime comes back. But it changes pitch, and gets louder and softer. He listens to it. It’s not like music, not really. But it’s a little like music. It makes him think of the music Ignis plays sometimes. And the music on the music device Cor gave him.

He wonders what will happen if he can’t ever find Cor. Then he stops wondering, because his chest hurts too much and he doesn’t want to cry.

And they drive.

~

They stop driving beside a tall building. The two in the front of the car get out, then the one with the polygonal hat gives the plants and the bag to the one who was driving and opens the back door. She reaches in and takes his arm, pulling him out. He gets out and stands up. The one with the polygonal hat pulls him towards the tall building. He follows her up the steps. He watches the one who was driving to see what he’ll do with the plants and the yellow bag. He’s going up the steps, too. So that’s good. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if the one who was driving goes a different way. He doesn’t know how he’ll find the plants again.

They go through a glass door and into a small room. The room has a wooden barrier. Behind the barrier stands a person with glasses. The glasses make him think of Ignis, but otherwise the person doesn’t look like Ignis at all. The person has grey hair and a beard. He doesn’t look like Ignis. But he has glasses like Ignis.

The one with the glasses glances up at them, then looks at the one who was driving and frowns.

– taking – gardening – the one with the glasses says.

The one who was driving shrugs and puts the plants on the barrier. He keeps the bag in his hands. The one with the glasses turns to him and says something. But he can’t hear it. He looks at the one with the polygonal hat. She’s still holding his arm.

– deaf – the one with the polygonal hat says.

The one who was driving rolls his eyes and makes a motion with his finger by his temple.

– retarded – the one who was driving says.

The one with the glasses sighs. He writes something on a piece of paper and holds it out to him.

Name? the piece of paper says.

Prompto Argentum, he says.

The one with the glasses stares at him. The one with the polygonal hat and the one who was driving stare at him, too. The one who was driving laughs.

The one with the glasses says something that includes the word easier. He shakes his head. His chest hurts. He wants to follow their instructions, but he can’t hear them. They understand he can’t hear, but they keep talking to him anyway. How can he follow the instructions if he doesn’t know what they are?

The one with the glasses writes on the paper and shows it to him.

It’ll go easier for you if you tell the truth, the paper says.

He nods. He understands that he’s not supposed to lie. He waits for further instructions.

The one with the glasses stares at him for a moment longer. Then he sighs and writes something else.

Date of birth? the paper reads.

He reads the question twice. But he doesn’t understand the words. He shakes his head. I don’t understand, he says.

The one who was driving says something loud. He can’t hear what it is, but he can hear that it’s loud. He looks angry. But he can’t answer the question. He doesn’t understand the question.

The one with the glasses writes something else. He shows him the paper.

Parents? Someone who we can call to come get you?

He nods. Cor, he says. Cor can come get me. Something flutters in his chest. If they call Cor, Cor will come get him. He hopes Cor will come. If he’s not too angry.

The one with the glasses raises an eyebrow. He writes on the paper. Cor who?

It takes him a moment to understand that they require Cor’s last name. But he knows it, so it’s good. Cor Leonis, he says.

The one who was driving laughs again. He laughs for a long time this time. He slaps him on the back.

– real joker – he says.

The one with the glasses isn’t laughing. He looks angry. He shakes his head and gestures with his pen. The one with the polygonal hat takes his arm and pulls him towards another door. They go through the door. He looks back. The plants are still on the wooden barrier. But the door closes, and then he can’t see the plants.

Then he’s in a big room with lots of tables and chairs. There are people sitting at some of the tables looking at computers or papers. Some of them look at him, but then they look back at what they’re doing. The one with the polygonal hat pulls him across the room and they go through another door. Now there are two doors between him and the plants. On the other side of the second door is a corridor with one table and a series of other doors. The other doors are made of metal and they have small windows in them. There’s another person with the same uniform sitting at the table.

The one with the polygonal hat takes him to one of the metal doors. She opens it and pushes him inside. Inside is a small room with no windows and a low platform by one wall. The one with the polygonal hat says something. Then she closes the door.

Then he’s alone.

~

He sits on the platform. There’s a thin rubber mattress covering it, so he thinks maybe it’s intended to be a bed. It reminds him of where he slept in the facility, except that there’s no-one else sleeping in the room. But otherwise it reminds him. It reminds him enough that he thinks – he thinks –

But no. But Cor said he would never let anyone send him back to the facility. That he wouldn’t go anywhere. Cor said it’s important for me to have you with me. So–

But Cor’s not here. He doesn’t know where Cor is. And Cor doesn’t know where he is. And maybe Cor’s angry. He knows he’s not supposed to just – leave. But he left. He’s been gone a long time now, and even though he’s been trying to get back, Cor doesn’t know he’s been trying. So Cor probably thinks he’s still disobeying orders. Maybe Cor’s so angry now that he wouldn’t want to have him with him any more even if he could find him. Maybe.

He doesn’t think so. He doesn’t think it. Cor said – he said – he wrote it on the paper –

–but maybe that was why the one who was driving laughed when he said Cor Leonis. Because they know that Cor doesn’t want him any more. And now he’s in another facility. And now. And now.

And the plants. The plants. There’s three doors between him and the plants now. What will happen to the plants? He needs – he needs to look after the plants. Those are his orders. He needs to look after them. How can he look after them when he can’t even see them? He doesn’t even know where they are. Maybe they’re not even in the room with the wooden barrier any more. Maybe someone took them somewhere else.

There’s a pain in his stomach. It’s like the pain from before. And he’s cold. His clothes and hair are wet. And his feet are mottled red-and-white again. And – and – everything’s wrong. Everything was right and now everything’s wrong, and he wants – he wants –

He wants to go back to the house by the park. Cor said welcome home. That’s where he wants to go. He wants to go home.

But he doesn’t know how. He can’t go home. He can’t go home.

~

He sits. He sits for a long time. The wavering chime in his head gets quieter. Sometimes it disappears entirely and he can hear things again. Sometimes it comes back. And he sits. His thoughts circle round and round. Cor. The plants. The house by the park. The one in the green jacket touching his side. The pain in his stomach. Cor. The plants. They go round, round and round, and the wire tightens again in his chest. But he can’t do anything. He can only sit and wait. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen. But he can only sit.

He doesn’t know how much time passes before the door opens again. A person comes in. It’s not a person he’s seen before, although this person is wearing the same uniform as the ones he’s seen before. The person is carrying a tray with a plate and a cup on it. The person puts the tray down on the floor and speaks to him, but the chime is loud and he can’t hear. But he understands. There’s food on the plate and liquid in the cup, so he’s supposed to eat and drink. “Yes,” he says. He stands up, and then sits down on the floor and picks up the plastic fork.

The person turns to go. But then she pauses. She reaches down and takes hold of his arm before he can try to eat some of the food. She lifts his arm and stares at his wrist. At the strap Noctis gave him.

“Where – get this?” she asks.

He understands enough to be able to answer. It’s good. “Noctis gave it to me,” he says. He can partially hear his own voice now. It’s good.

The one with the tray stares at him. Then she looks at his wrist. Then her face goes a strange colour, mottled red and white like his feet. “Noctis who?” she asks.

It’s the same question the one with the glasses asked about Cor. It’s a question about last names. He memorised all the words on the schedule, so he knows Noctis’ last names. He has two, even though everyone else only has one.

“Noctis Lucis Caelum,” he says.

The one with the tray opens her mouth. But she doesn’t say anything. She just stands with her mouth open. Then she jerks on his arm. He gets to his feet. The one with the tray turns on her heel and starts pulling him out of the small room. She pulls hard. She’s walking fast. He stumbles after her. He doesn’t know what’s happening.

They go through the door to the big room with all the tables and chairs and people. The one with the tray starts shouting.

“Who the fuck brought this kid in?” she shouts. He can hear it, now, though it’s muffled and distorted.

Everyone in the room looks up. Then the one who was driving stands up. He says “Me and Pax. Kid’s retarded. Got an anonymous tip and pulled him in for soliciting, then we thought he was on something, but he’s just, you know.” He makes the motion by his temple again. “He wouldn’t tell us who he was. I’ll get someone to call CPS once they open.”

“You fucking moron,” the one with the tray shouts. She drags him across the room to the one who was driving and pulls him forward, holding up his wrist. “Didn’t you look at this?”

The one who was driving looks at the strap Noctis gave him. Then his face gets paler and his eyes widen.

“Oh fuck,” he says, then grabs his shoulder, looking at him with wide eyes. “Fuck, kid, Cor Leonis? For real?”

He’s not completely sure about the structure of the question, but it has something to do with Cor, so he nods. “Cor Leonis,” he says. “Yes.”

“Shit,” the one who was driving says. Then he lets go of him. “He said – when he came in he said we could call Cor Leonis to come pick him up and I thought – it was a joke–” His voice trails off. Everyone in the room is quiet now. They’re all looking at him and the one who was driving. “Fuck,” says the one who was driving. “What the fuck should I do?”

“Pretty sure you should call Cor Leonis,” says the one with the tray.

The one who was driving stares at her for a moment. He looks scared. Then he turns sharply and picks up the phone on his desk. He taps it a few times, then holds it to his ear and after a second he starts talking into it. “Get me a number for Cor Leonis,” he says, then “Yes, the immortal one! I don’t care how, just – yeah, sure, Crownsguard headquarters, I’ll take it.” He writes something down on a piece of paper, then taps on his phone screen a few times more and puts it to his ear again.

“Yeah, uh, hi,” he says. “This is Officer Mendum at the fourth district precinct. I need to get a message to Marshal, uh, uh, Leonis.” He pauses. “I understand he’s very busy. I got a kid here who says he knows him and needs picking up.” He looks up at him. “Yes, that’s right, blonde hair, maybe fourteen? Oh – you have? No, he’s OK, just– All right, yeah, we’ll be waiting.”

He taps the phone and then puts it down on the table. Then he stares at it like it burned him.

“They’ve been looking for him for days,” he says, very quietly. He looks even paler now. “The Immortal’s been looking.”

The one with the tray lets go of his arm, then grabs hold of it again. “How long did you have him in the cells?” she asks.

“Uh–” The one who was driving looks at his watch. “Six, seven hours?” He swallows. “We don’t need to tell him that, though, right?” He looks at him. “Kid? Do me a favour and don’t tell the Immortal, OK?”

“Oh, Mendum, you are fucked,” says the one with the tray. Then she pulls on his arm. “OK, kid, come sit over here.”

He goes. He sits in the chair she tells him to sit in. It’s in the corner of the big room. She goes away. Then she comes back. She’s holding a cup. The cup is steaming.

“Mendum’s an asshole,” she says. “Here. You look cold.”

He is cold. He’s cold. He holds the cup between his hands. His head is spinning. But he thinks – that maybe Cor will come. Because the one who was driving called. He didn’t talk to Cor. But he said he needed to get a message through. So maybe the message will get through. And then maybe Cor will come. Someone’s been looking for him. The Immortal. He doesn’t know who that is. But maybe it’s someone who knows Cor.

He holds the cup between his hands and it makes his hands feel warmer. He looks at the door through to the room with the wooden barrier. People come in and out of the door frequently. But where he’s sitting, he can’t see whether the plants are still on the barrier. He watches to see if anyone carries the plants into the room. But he was in the small room for a long time. The plants could have been taken a long way away by now.

People in the room keep glancing at him. They look, and then they look quickly away. He’s glad he’s not in the small room any more, but being in the big room is difficult. He wonders why people keep looking. Maybe he’s supposed to be doing something. But he doesn’t know what.

He sees the one with the tray talking to another person on the other side of the room. His hearing’s functioning again, so he sharpens it to listen.

“I don’t know – the Immortal doesn’t have any kids, right?” the one with the tray is saying.

“Search me, I don’t read tabloids,” the other one says. “Doesn’t look like him, though.”

“So what, then?” the one with the tray asks, then glances at him and looks quickly away. He looks away, too. And then he remembers he’s not supposed to listen, so he turns his hearing down again. Then he sits and tries to see if he can see the plants. And he wonders what will happen next. And he waits.

And then something happens. What happens is: there’s some kind of disturbance on the other side of the door to the room with the wooden barrier. Then the door flies open and crashes against the wall. Then Cor comes in.

Cor. It’s Cor. It’s Cor it’s Cor it’s Cor.

He stands up. He drops the cup he’s holding and doesn’t realise until the liquid splashes on his feet. But it’s not too hot any more. And he can’t think about it. He can only think about Cor.

Everyone in the room has stopped talking. Cor looks very angry. He looks so angry. He’s looking around the room. Then he sees him. He stands still and stares at him. Then he starts walking. He looks so angry. He walks towards him, very fast. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Cor’s so angry. Cor gets close enough to reach out, and he reaches out. He grabs him. He jerks him forward, so fast that he stumbles. And then–

–then Cor holds him. He puts his arms all the way around him and holds him very tight. Cor’s arms feel warm and solid. His face is pressed against Cor’s chest, and it feels warm, too. All of him feels warm now. He feels warmer than he has since he woke up and he wasn’t in the house by the park any more.

Cor holds him tightly for a long time. He puts a hand on the back of his head. He can feel Cor’s heart beating. It’s beating fast. He can hear Cor breathing. Then he hears someone speak. Someone who’s standing to the side.

“Sir,” the person says.

He turns his head – it’s not easy because of how tight Cor’s holding him – and sees a person wearing the same uniform as the silent ones. She has brown hair and she’s looking at him.

Cor doesn’t do anything for a moment. Then he loosens his hold. He puts his hands on his shoulders and holds him at arm’s length. He lowers his head to look into his face.

“You OK, kid?” he says. “You hurt?”

You OK, kid? It’s what he thought about Cor saying. He thought about it over and over and now Cor’s here and he’s said it. He opens his mouth to answer, but then he can’t answer because suddenly he’s crying.

“Shit,” Cor mutters and pulls him close again. “OK, we gotta get out of here. Fuck, you’re freezing. Monica, stay here, I want a full report on what the fuck happened. Lacertus, with me.” Then he speaks louder. “None of you thought about getting the kid some warmer clothes?”

There’s a silence. Then someone speaks. They speak quietly.

“We didn’t know who he was, sir,” the person says.

“He’s a fucking kid,” Cor says. Then he lets go of him again and pulls him in sideways instead, with an arm around his shoulders. “OK, we’re going,” he says. He sounds angry. He still looks angry, too. But – but he’s not doing things he would do if he was angry. And he doesn’t want to think about if Cor’s angry or not angry. He wants to stop crying. And he wants to go somewhere else, where people aren’t all looking at him. But the thing he wants most is that Cor won’t let go of him.

And Cor doesn’t. Cor walks through the room with him, with his arm around his shoulders. He walks through the door to the room with the wooden barrier. He looks at the barrier. But the plants aren’t there. Cor starts walking towards the glass door that goes outside. He pulls at Cor’s jacket.

“The plants,” he whispers. It’s hard to talk because he’s still crying. His head hurts.

Cor stops walking and looks down at him. Then he looks at the wooden barrier. The person behind it isn’t the one with the glasses who was there before.

“What’d the kid have with him when he came in?” Cor asks. He sounds angry.

The person behind the barrier looks scared. She picks up a book and looks in it.

“Uh – three potted plants and a bag,” she says. “Chocobo bag, it says here.”

Cor glances back over his shoulder. “Monica, get his stuff,” he says. Then he starts walking again. Through the glass door and outside. Outside it’s light. It’s daytime. But it’s still raining. And there’s a car. Cor opens the back door and pushes him inside. Then he gets in himself and puts his arm around him again.

The daytime silent one leans in through the open door. “Sir, shouldn’t you–?”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Cor says. “Fuck protocol and fuck Clarus, I’m sitting in back. You drive.”

The silent one frowns, but he steps back and closes the door. He goes around to the front. Then the one with brown hair comes out through the glass door. She’s carrying the plants and the yellow bag.

Cor makes the window descend. The one with the brown hair leans in and holds out the plants and the bag. Cor takes them and passes them to him. He holds the plants in his laps. He puts his arm round the bag and holds it tight to his chest. It’s still wet, but he doesn’t care. He wants to hold the plants to his chest, too, but he doesn’t want to damage them further.

“Thank you,” he says to the one with the brown hair.

She smiles at him. “Just don’t go running off again, OK?” she says. “Gave us a pretty bad scare.” Then she looks at Cor.

“I know,” Cor says. “And I don’t care. We’ll figure it out later. The kid’s half-frozen. I’m taking him home.”

The one with the brown hair looks at Cor for a moment. Then she nods.

“Yes, sir,” she says, and steps back from the window.

“The plants were in the bag,” he says. He thinks Cor will see that they’ve been damaged and he wants to explain.

Cor turns to look at him. He’s frowning.

“Why’d you run away?” he asks. “Kid, why – did something happen? Where’d you go?”

He shakes his head. He’s crying again. “I don’t know,” he says. “I woke up and I didn’t know where I was. I’m sorry. I tried to get back.”

Cor stares at him for a moment. It’s a long moment. He sees that Cor looks tired. He looks more tired than he’s ever seen him. Then Cor closes his eyes and puts one hand over them.

“Fuck,” he mutters. He holds his hand over his eyes for another long moment. Then he pulls it away and nods. “OK,” he says. “We’ll figure it out.” He looks at him. “Just don’t – do it again, kid. Don’t do that to me again.”

He swallows. He didn’t mean to do it this time. He doesn’t know how he can not do it again when he didn’t mean to do it this time. “Yes,” he says. He swallows again. He wishes he could cry less. He looks at the plants, but he sees the damaged leaves and flowers, so it doesn’t make him feel better. “The plants were in the bag,” he says. He wants to explain. “Some parts were damaged. The flowers came off and I couldn’t reattach them.”

Cor looks at the plants. Then he looks at him.

“It’s OK, kid,” he says. “They’ll grow new flowers.”

He looks at the plants. He didn’t realise they would grow new flowers. But it makes sense. It’s good. It’s good. The damage can be repaired.

“Lacertus, drive,” Cor says. Then he pulls him closer and presses his mouth to the side of his head. It’s a strange gesture. But it makes him feel warm.

“Let’s go home,” Cor says.

Chapter 43

Notes:

Whew! Back at work after Christmas means a lot less writing time for me :( But here we are! Thank you so much to everyone who commented on the last chapter -- I loved reading all your flailing and joy at the heartfelt reunion ♥ Hope you enjoy this one, too...

Chapter Text

He falls asleep. He doesn’t realise it at first, but then he hears Cor talking. He hears him talking, but he doesn’t hear the words, as though Cor’s on the other side of a door. But Cor isn’t on the other side of a door. He can feel the weight of Cor’s arm across his shoulders. So Cor’s sitting next to him. So – he’s asleep. And not asleep, both at the same time.

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says, and he realises he’s becoming less asleep and more awake. He doesn’t want to wake up. If he wakes up, maybe Cor won’t be there any more. But Cor is there, because he can feel the weight of Cor’s arm.

“Yeah, Clarus, I know,” Cor says. He’s talking quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of the car engine. “But I’m not going to-- No, I get that. I already said so, didn’t I?” He pauses. It’s a long pause. Then he sighs. He tightens his arm around his shoulders. “Yeah. OK, I can live with that. For now.”

Then it goes quiet. He keeps his eyes closed. He’s definitely awake now. He feels a warm weight across his front, like a blanket. Then he realises he’s not holding the plants any more.

He opens his eyes and sits up sharply. The thing across his front slips down and he feels cold. He sees that it’s Cor’s coat. He looks at Cor.

“The plants,” he says. His voice sounds hoarse. Cor’s arm feels warm, but he’s still cold. His feet and his head hurt. And he’s not holding the plants.

“I’ve got em, kid,” Cor says. He looks, and sees that it’s true: Cor is holding the plants in his lap with the arm that isn’t across his shoulders. He sits back in the seat. His heart is beating very loudly.

“We’re here,” the daytime silent one says. He stops the car.

He looks outside the window. It’s getting dark. It was already dark because of the clouds and the rain, but now it’s getting darker. And they’re not outside the house by the park. They’re outside the building with the purple light.

He looks at Cor. Cor sighs.

“We’re gonna stay here for a couple days,” he says. He sighs again. “Sorry, kiddo. But I’m gonna stay with you, OK?”

Cor leans forward then. “Lacertus, take these,” he says, holding out the plants. The daytime silent one takes them and gets out of the car. Then Cor gets out of the car. He reaches in and holds out his hand. “Need some help?” he says.

He doesn’t think he needs help to get out of the car. But when he tries to move, he realises that he does. His body feels stiff and painful, and his feet hurt a lot. He takes Cor’s hand and drags himself out, trying to hold onto Cor’s coat at the same time. When he gets on his feet, he almost falls. Cor catches him and holds him tight for a moment.

“You need me to carry you?” he asks.

“No,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

Cor nods. He takes the coat and puts it around his shoulders. Then he puts his arm around him.

“Let’s get you somewhere warm,” he says.

They walk. There are people waiting on the steps. He doesn’t know them. They’re wearing the same uniform as the daytime silent one. They walk behind him and Cor. They’re silent as well.

Then he sees the one from the phone. He’s standing on the platform that’s halfway up the steps.

Cor pauses. “He needs to warm up, Clarus,” he says. “He needs food and sleep. So just – not right now, OK?”

The one from the phone looks at him. He tries to stand up straight. But it’s difficult. Then the one from the phone nods.

“You’re in the blue suite,” he says.

Cor stares at him for a moment, then something seems to soften in his face.

“Yeah, OK,” he says. “That’s OK. Thanks.”

The one from the phone nods. “You know I’m not trying to – I don’t find this easy either,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says again. Then he tightens the arm around his shoulders. “OK, kid, let’s get you inside.”

It’s a long walk. It’s difficult to pay attention to things. His head feels like it’s full of clouds. His feet hurt. The only thing that feels real is the weight of Cor’s arm. Cor walks. So he walks. The daytime silent one walks beside them. He carries the plants and the yellow bag. And they walk. Through the high-ceilinged corridors. Up in the elevator. Through more corridors. He stumbles and Cor catches him. And then they reach a door and they stop.

Cor takes a breath. Then he opens the door and they go inside.

Inside is a room. It’s a big room, with a big bed towards the back and some couches and soft chairs closer to the door. The bed and the couches and chairs are all blue. There are some other doors. He’s too tired to pay close attention. He sees the bed. He sees how soft it looks. He wonders what it would be like to lie down. He imagines it. How warm and soft it would be.

Cor sighs. He takes his arm from round his shoulders, then turns to face him. He puts a hand on each of his shoulders.

“Kid,” he says. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

He swallows. His thoughts are moving slowly. He doesn’t want to tell Cor. But he has to tell Cor.

“I fell asleep,” he says. “And then I woke up and I was outside.” He remembers waking up, the rain, the bright white streetlight, the silent buildings that had no windows. He feels his throat start to burn. “I didn’t know where I was,” he says. “I tried to get back but I didn’t know how.”

Cor stares at him in silence. “You took the plants,” he says at last.

He looks for the daytime silent one. He’s standing by the door holding the plants. They’re damaged, but Cor says they’ll repair themselves.

“I’m sorry,” he says. He doesn’t know whether it was bad or good to take the plants. He’s supposed to be responsible for them. But Cor didn’t say he could take them. And – he doesn’t think it matters so much, because he wasn’t supposed to go outside in the first place. He thinks that must be much worse than taking the plants.

Cor swallows. “You didn’t leave on purpose?” he asks.

He shakes his head. He wishes he could go back and be awake and not leave. Then everything would have been so much better.

Then Cor pulls him forward and puts his arms around him. “OK,” he says. His voice is shaking a little. “That’s good. I mean--” he lets out a sound that’s almost a laugh. “It’s not – I guess it’s gonna look pretty terrible in the morning, but right now...” He pauses and tightens his arms. “I’m glad you didn’t leave on purpose,” he murmurs.

He tries to imagine leaving on purpose. He remembers falling asleep in the room in the house by the park. He tries to imagine waking up there and deciding to leave. Going out into the dark. Being alone. Choosing to be alone. Even if it wasn’t against his orders, the idea of doing it makes him feel cold and nauseated. He doesn’t want to go anywhere else. He wants to be here, with Cor.

Cor lets go of him then. “You should probably--” he starts. He says some more words, too. But he doesn’t hear what they are, because everything shifts strangely and he feels light-headed. Then he seems to be falling. Then Cor catches him.

“Whoa, OK,” Cor says. “Shit, kid. When did you last sleep?”

“In the car,” he says. It comes out sounding strange. His tongue doesn’t seem to be working properly.

“All right, all right,” Cor says. “You need a shower, but – we’ll figure that out later.” He puts an arm around his back and helps him to stand. “Get some sleep,” he says. “We’ll figure it out later.”

They walk to the bed. Cor tells him to take out the fake eyes, so he does. It hurts to take them out, but then it feels better when they’re gone. And he looks at the bed. It’s blue. It seems to fill all of his vision. He imagines it. Lying on the bed. Closing his eyes. He imagines it. And then he’s doing it. It’s like there’s a gap in his experience. He’s standing, and then he’s lying down. It feels soft. He doesn’t even have time to feel how soft it is because his thoughts are drifting away.

“Where’d you get these clothes?” Cor says from a long way away, and then, “Kid, come on, I need to get you something else to wear.”

And then he’s asleep.

~

He wakes up.

No: he doesn’t wake up. But he isn’t asleep, either. He’s partly asleep and partly awake. He can’t move. But it’s not bad. He doesn’t want to move. His whole body feels warm and comfortable. He’s lying on something soft, and there’s a warm weight on top of him. He doesn’t want to wake up or move. He wants to stay where he is.

“Sir,” a voice he doesn’t recognise says quietly. “Should I bring the camp bed up from your office?”

“What for?” Cor murmurs from somewhere nearby. “You planning to take a nap?”

There’s a brief silence.

“With respect, sir,” says the voice, “you look like death warmed over. When’s the last time you slept?”

“You know when,” Cor says. “And you know what happened.”

“I’m on duty, sir,” the voice says. “I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

“No need, Crownsguard,” Cor says. “I’ll be awake.”

Then there’s silence, and he drifts back to sleep.

~

When he wakes up, it’s light. He opens his eyes and sees the light in the room, falling through a tall window. The light looks pale and cool. It takes him a moment to remember why he’s in the room. But he sees Cor, and then he remembers.

Cor is sitting in a soft chair next to the bed he’s lying on. Cor’s eyes are closed and his head is nodding on his chest. Even though he’s asleep, he looks tired.

He looks at the rest of the room. The plants are on the ledge next to the tall window, and the yellow bag is on the floor beneath. The rest of the room is the same as it was when he went to sleep, except that the daytime silent one has gone and now the one with the brown hair is standing by the door. The one with the brown hair is watching him. She raises a finger to her lips and points at Cor. He understands: Cor’s asleep, so he should be quiet.

He turns on his back and looks at the ceiling. He feels much warmer than he has for a long time. All of him feels warm, even his feet. They still hurt, but they hurt less now. His stomach hurts more, though. And his head feels strange. It hurts a little, and his thoughts are moving slowly.

He’s still wearing the same clothes from before, the ones that the one with the green jacket gave him. He’s lying on the blue cover of the big bed, and there’s a second cover over him that’s green with shining yellow spirals on it. He looks at the spirals and sees the pleasing geometry and how they sparkle when he moves. He moves several more times to watch the different parts of the spirals catch the light. He wonders where the cover came from. It makes him think of the green shirt with the yellow birds on it, but then he remembers that he doesn’t know where the shirt is, and that makes his stomach hurt in a different way.

Then Cor makes a noise. He coughs, then starts upright, his eyes opening abruptly. He looks at him. Then his shoulders slump and he rubs his eyes.

“You’re awake,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He sits up, but then his head spins a little and he has to lean back on the pillows. Cor leans forward and grabs his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey. You OK?”

His throat starts to hurt a little. He’s here. He’s with Cor, and he’s not cold and even though he doesn’t know exactly where he is, he knows he’s in the building with the purple light. “Yes,” he whispers.

“OK, good,” Cor says. “Great.” He turns towards the door. “Monica, get the doc up here.”

“Yes, sir,” the one with the brown hair says. Then she opens the door and has a short conversation with someone standing outside it.

Cor turns back to him. “You hungry?” he says. “When did you last eat?”

He tries to remember. The last time he ate was when the one with the green jacket gave him the hamburger. But he doesn’t know how much time has passed since then. “I don’t know,” he says.

Cor nods. “You must be starving,” he says. “Here, Ignis left this for you.” He picks up a cylindrical vessel from a small table, opens it, and pours out some of the contents into the lid. It’s soup. He can smell it. And suddenly there’s a pain in his stomach, much sharper and more urgent than before.

Cor holds out the lid with the soup in it. He takes it. But he can’t drink it. His stomach hurts so much. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to put anything into it right now.

Cor frowns at him. “Kid?” he says. “Problem?”

He swallows. “My stomach hurts,” he whispers. Cor wants him to drink the soup, but he doesn’t know what will happen if he does.

“You’re hungry,” Cor says. “You mean you’re hungry, right?”

“No,” he says. Then he stops. Suddenly he isn’t sure any more. “What does it feel like?”

Cor stares at him for a long moment. “You don’t--” he says finally. Then he stops and closes his eyes, then opens them. “It’s – it makes your stomach hurt. It feels empty and it, uh--” He pauses, scratching his head. “I guess – it’s hard to describe. Like – like your stomach’s so empty that it’s painful.”

He thinks about the pain in his stomach. He wonders whether that’s what it is – hungry. He doesn’t get hungry. But – maybe he does? He doesn’t know what hungry feels like, and he realises that means that he doesn’t actually know if he gets hungry or not. His head starts to feel strange, and then Cor puts a hand on his arm.

“Kid,” he says. “Drink the soup.”

The order is clear. So he drinks. At first, the pain in his stomach intensifies, and he starts to be afraid that he might vomit. He doesn’t want to vomit on the green cover with the spirals. But then, suddenly, things change. The pain starts to fade. His stomach starts to feel different – warm and, if not comfortable, then at least not unpleasant any more.

“Good?” Cor asks.

He swallows the last mouthful of soup. “Yes,” he says. He identifies the soup as chicken with lentils. He’s had it before. It tastes good. He didn’t really taste it before because he was thinking so hard about his stomach, but now he does. Now he feels a sense of relief that’s almost overwhelming. He thinks about being outside, about walking and not knowing where he was, about the pain in his stomach, about the hamburger and how it made him feel. He feels – a lot, so many things, all at once. His throat starts burning.

“Hey, come here,” Cor says. Cor takes the cup from him and puts it on the table beside the bed. Then he puts his arms around him and holds him. “It’s OK,” Cor says. “It’s all right now. You’re all right.”

He is all right. He feels warm, and most of the pain is gone, and he’s not scared any more. Not as scared, anyway. And Cor’s here. So he’s all right. He cries anyway, even though there’s nothing to cry about. But he doesn’t cry for very long, because Cor holds him and he feels better quickly. It’s good.

Eventually, though, Cor stops holding him. He pulls back, but he keeps his hands on his shoulders. He looks him up and down, then draws in a deep breath.

“Kid,” he says. “Where’d you get those clothes?”

He looks down at the clothes he’s wearing. When he left the house by the park, he was wearing the green shirt with the yellow birds on it and a pair of pink pants for sleeping in. But now he’s wearing a baggy, long-sleeved black shirt and grey pants that are too long for him. The one with the green jacket gave them to him. The thought makes him feel strange, like the clothes are cold and itchy. And he doesn’t know where the clothes he had before are now. Cor gave the clothes to him, but now he doesn’t know where they are.

“A person gave them to me,” he says.

“A person?” Cor says. “What kind of person?”

He’s not sure what different categories of person there are. “A person with a green jacket,” he says. He wishes he could take the clothes off. But he doesn’t have any other ones. He lost the ones he had.

Cor stares at him. “Where’d you meet this… person?” he asks.

“In a park,” he says.

Cor’s frowning, now. He opens his mouth to say something else, but then there’s a knock at the door. The one with the brown hair opens it, then turns towards them.

“The doctor’s here,” she says.

Cor closes his mouth again. He’s still frowning. “OK,” he says, squeezing his shoulders. “We’re gonna talk about this later.”

Cor lets go of his shoulders. He feels cold. Not just his shoulders, but all of him. Cor wants to know what happened to the clothes. But he doesn’t know what happened to them. He was in the one with the green jacket’s apartment, and then he was outside, and he didn’t have the clothes any more. And now he’s going to have to tell Cor.

But he doesn’t have to tell Cor straight away. First, the one with the white coat comes in and carries out all of her tests and asks him some questions about whether he can feel parts of his body and how much they hurt. Then she says he doesn’t seem to be seriously impaired, although his feet have sustained mild damage. Then Cor tells him to go take a shower, so he does. There’s a latrine room attached to the room with the blue bed. It’s much bigger than the ones he’s seen before. He turns the water up so that it’s very hot. It hurts a little, but it makes him feel less itchy.

When he’s finished showering, Cor gives him some different clothes. He sees that the clothes from the house by the park are all here now, in the room with the blue bed. The yellow shirt with the flowers and the purple pants with red dots and – all the clothes. He wonders what it means, that the clothes are here. But he’s glad he doesn’t have to put on the other clothes again.

Then Cor tells him to sit in one of the soft chairs, and he sits in another one. And he knows Cor’s going to ask him now – about the clothes, and what happened to them. But before Cor can ask, the door opens. It’s not the one with the white coat this time. It’s the one from the phone.

“Cor,” the one from the phone says. He glances at him, then back at Cor. “How is the boy?”

Cor looks up. He looks tired. “Clarus,” he says. “You got shitty timing.”

The one from the phone doesn’t say anything. He looks at Cor. Then he looks at him. Then he comes in and sits down. He sits on the edge of the soft chair with his hands on his knees and looks at him. Then he looks at Cor.

“What have you learned?” he asks.

Cor rubs a hand over his eyes. “Nothing else yet,” he says. “We were just getting started.”

The one from the phone nods. “Continue,” he says.

Cor looks at the one from the phone. “Clarus--” he says. But then he stops. He looks at the one from the phone and the one from the phone looks at him. Neither of them says anything. Then Cor closes his eyes. “Yeah, OK,” he says. He turns back to him.

“Kid,” he says. “I need you to start from the beginning. You went to bed at home. Then what happened?”

He swallows. “I went to sleep,” he says. “Then I woke up and I was outside. I didn’t know where I was.” He thinks of the bright white of the streetlights, the walls with razor wire. The rain. “I don’t know how I got there,” he says. He swallows again. He doesn’t want to cry. Crying makes his head hurt.

Cor nods. The one from the phone doesn’t do anything. He just sits very still.

“You had the plants with you?” Cor asks.

He glances at the plants on the ledge by the window. “Yes,” he says. “I had the bag. The plants were in the bag. I didn’t know they were in there until later. If I’d known they were in there I would have – taken them out. Before they got damaged.” The plants will repair themselves, but he still wishes they hadn’t been damaged. “I would have taken them out,” he says again. He wants Cor to know that he didn’t damage the plants on purpose.

“I know, kid,” Cor says. “The plants are fine. You’re the one I’m worried about.”

Yes, he understands. He left the house without permission and so now Cor’s concerned about his ability to follow orders. He’s concerned, too. How can he follow orders if his body does things without him knowing about it? He feels as though he’s about to fall into a pit. He’s not falling. But he’s about to fall.

“What did you do next?” Cor asks.

“I walked,” he says. “I didn’t know which way to walk in. I wanted to walk back to the house by the park. But I didn’t know the direction. So I walked in the same direction for a long time. But I didn’t recognise anything.”

“What about your shoes?” Cor asks.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I didn’t have them when I woke up.”

The one from the phone frowns and glances at Cor. But Cor doesn’t say anything. He sits and looks at him. His mouth seems strange, like it’s too flat. Then he breathes in through his nose.

“You had bare feet the whole time you were gone?” he asks. His voice sounds stiff and strange.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know why Cor is asking about his feet. He thinks it’s good, that he didn’t have shoes. If he’d had shoes, maybe he would have lost them, too.

Cor’s silent for a moment. Then he nods, once. “OK,” he says. He still sounds strange. “What happened next?”

“I walked,” he says. “Then I sat on a bench in a park. Then--” He frowns. There’s something strange about sitting on the bench. He remembers sitting there, but he doesn’t remember arriving at the park in the first place. It’s like there’s something missing. But he must have arrived at the park, because he remembers being there. And then--

“A person came and talked to me,” he says. “He said I should go with him, so I did.”

“A person?” the one from the phone asks. “What person?”

He doesn’t know what person. He doesn’t know any people except Cor and Ignis and Noctis and Gladio. And some other people – the silent ones and the one with the white coat and the one with the black hair. He knows some people. But he didn’t know this person. “He had a green jacket,” he says.

Cor closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why’d you go with him?” he asks.

He looks at Cor. “Because he said I should,” he says. He tries to remember exactly what the one with the green jacket said. He remembers thinking it was an order. “He ordered me to,” he says.

Cor’s frowning. The one from the phone is frowning, too. “You didn’t know him?” Cor says.

“No,” he says.

The one from the phone leans forward. “Did he ask you any questions?” he says. He glances at Cor. “Did you tell him anything?”

“Yes,” he says. The one from the phone straightens up. Cor’s frown deepens. “He asked me where my shoes were,” he says. “And he asked me if I had a fight with my parents. But I didn’t know. About the shoes.”

Cor’s shoulders slump a little. The one from the phone looks less angry.

“He didn’t ask you anything about the Citadel?” the one from the phone asks. “About the Crownsguard or Prince Noctis?”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t know why the one with the green jacket would ask about those things. He tries to think of all the questions the one with the green jacket asked him. “He asked me if I lived round there,” he says. “And he asked me what my name was. And--” He thinks hard, trying to remember everything. “And he asked me if I knew what fucking meant.”

Cor sits up suddenly. His shoulders aren’t slumped now – they’re tense. He’s looking at him. His eyes are wide. “He asked you what?” he says. He sounds angry.

He swallows. He thought Cor would be angry about the clothes. But instead he’s angry about this. He starts to feel cold and itchy again. “If I knew – what fucking meant,” he says. His voice sounds uncertain in his own ears. “I said I did but he said I got it wrong.”

Cor leans forward now. “You were in his apartment?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He thinks about the apartment, how dark and small it was. He feels like something’s crawling on his skin.

Cor just stares. He stares. Then he runs a hand over his mouth and chin. Then he swallows.

“Kid,” he says. “This guy – did he – he didn’t – did he do anything to you?”

“He gave me a hamburger,” he says. “And he let me wear his clothes because mine were wet. And he--” He stops. He remembers lying in the bed and not being able to move. Even though his systems were functioning. It was strange. “He touched my stomach,” he says.

Cor is sitting very still. “Your stomach?” he says. “Your – did he touch any other part of you?”

He nods. “My side,” he says. “I was lying in the bed and he was behind me. And he touched my port. And then--” He stops. He doesn’t want to say what happened next.

Cor draws in a breath. It sounds strange and constricted. “Then what?” he says. His voice is almost a whisper.

He shakes his head. His throat is burning. But he can’t cry. He doesn’t want to cry again. “I don’t know,” he whispers. He swallows past the burning in his throat. “I was in the bed and then I was outside, and I – don’t know what happened. I was outside and I had the plants and the bag, but I didn’t – have the clothes. I don’t know what happened to the clothes.”

Cor’s just staring at him. “You were in the bed and he was touching you and then you don’t know what happened after that?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He should have gone back to get the clothes. But – he doesn’t know if he would have been able to find the right apartment and – and – he didn’t – he didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want to see the one with the green jacket again. But he should have gone back anyway because he lost the clothes and now Cor’s angry.

His thoughts are interrupted by Cor suddenly rising to his feet. He stands, his fists clenched at his sides, breathing through his nose.

“Cor,” the one from the phone says, but Cor raises a hand.

“Don’t,” he says, turning sharply away. “Don’t. I gotta--” He strides across the room to the door and stands for a moment, facing the door. He stands for a moment and then, without warning, he raises his hand and slams it against the door. It’s loud. It’s loud. Cor’s angry.

“Sir,” the one with the brown hair murmurs. But Cor doesn’t answer. He presses his forehead against the door. His hand curls into a fist. Then he wrenches the door open and strides through. The door closes. And Cor’s gone.

He stares at the door. Cor’s gone. He thought Cor might be angry about the clothes. But he didn’t realise how important it was. It was important because Cor gave him the clothes, but – but he didn’t realise. He should have gone back and retrieved the clothes. And now he can’t go back, and now – and now –

“Go after him. But don’t follow too close,” the one from the phone says. It makes him start. He’d forgotten the one from the phone was there. He was only thinking about Cor. He looks at the one from the phone. But the one from the phone wasn’t talking to him. He was talking to the one with the brown hair. She leaves the room. And then the one from the phone looks at him. He frowns.

“Are you all right?” he says.

He’s not all right. He should have gone back to get the clothes. He should have gone back. His head starts to feel strange. He tries to focus on the one from the phone.

“Tell me again how you came to be outside by yourself,” the one from the phone says.

He swallows. His thoughts keep drifting to Cor. But the one from the phone ranks higher than Cor. He thinks he does. He has to answer the questions.

“I fell asleep,” he says. His voice cracks. “In the house by the park. And I woke up outside.”

The one from the phone stares at him. “Did you intend to go outside by yourself?” he asks. “Did you go outside to meet someone, or to carry out some kind of task?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t want to be outside,” he whispers. “I wanted to find Cor. But I couldn’t find him.” He wishes it hadn’t happened. If it hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t have lost the clothes, and Cor wouldn’t be angry, and everything would be better.

The one from the phone is still staring at him. “And then – you were in an apartment with this – person,” he says. His lip curls when he says person. It makes him look angry. “You were there, and then you were outside. And you can’t remember what happened in between?”

“Yes,” he says. “I can’t remember. I was – I was just outside.”

The one from the phone sits very still, looking at him. “Has this ever happened to you before?” he asks. “That you’ve been in one place and then in another, without remembering what happened in between?”

He opens his mouth to say no. But he can’t say no. He’s not supposed to lie. And the one from the phone already knows about it happening. So there’s no reason to say no. But it takes him several seconds before he can make himself say anything else.

“Yes,” he says. His stomach feels heavy and cold. And Cor hasn’t come back.

The one from the phone straightens slightly. “Often?” he asks.

“No,” he whispers. It hasn’t been often. But it’s happened. He wants it to stop happening, but he doesn’t know how to make it stop.

The one from the phone stares at him in silence. “Have you ever knowingly spoken to anyone outside the Citadel about Prince Noctis, or anything to do with him?” he asks.

“No,” he says.

The one from the phone nods. “But you don’t know what happens when you – lose time,” he says.

“No,” he says again.

The one from the phone draws in a deep breath through his nose. “I see,” he says. Then he stands up. He turns towards the door. But before he gets there, he turns back. “I – am sorry about what happened,” he says. “I know all this must be quite – unpleasant. I hope you understand why it’s necessary.”

He doesn’t understand what all this is, or what the one from the phone is sorry about. “Yes,” he says.

The one from the phone nods. He opens the door and says something to someone outside. The person comes inside. It’s another person with the same uniform as the silent ones. The person comes inside and stands inside the door, staring at him. The one from the phone leaves.

Then it’s quiet. He sits and looks at the floor. He thinks about Cor. Whether Cor will come back. Whether he’ll be angry when he comes back. He thinks about Cor slamming his hand against the door. He thinks about the clothes. Maybe he could still get them back. If he could find the building – and the apartment--

He doesn’t think he could find the apartment. And the thought of going to the apartment makes him feel cold and itchy. But he would go anyway, if he could get the clothes back. Maybe he can ask Cor. If Cor comes back.

He’s crying. He wipes his eyes and concentrates until he stops crying. He tries to think about something else. About how soft the chair is, or how warm it is in the room. But he can’t think about anything except Cor. How much he wants Cor to come back. How scared he is that Cor will be angry when he comes back. He can’t stop thinking. His thoughts go round and round in his head, and the circles get smaller and tighter until it feels like there are knots in his mind.

Then: a knock at the door. His stomach swoops. He sits up. Is it Cor? But Cor wouldn’t knock. Would he?

The silent one opens the door and looks out. Then he steps back. The door opens wider. Ignis comes in.

Ignis. It’s Ignis.

He feels – like something in him has loosened, all of a sudden. Ignis doesn’t get angry. He’s never seen Ignis get angry. And Ignis understand everything. Ignis will help. Ignis can help him.

“Ah, hello,” Ignis says. He’s holding a cylindrical vessel like the one with the soup. “You’re up and about. I was so relieved to hear they’d found you.”

He stares at Ignis. Ignis pauses in his steps and frowns. “Prompto?” he says. “Are you all right?”

He opens his mouth. But he doesn’t know what to say. “Cor,” he says at last. “Cor’s angry with me.” Saying it makes him feel worse. The part of him that loosened when Ignis came starts to tighten again.

Ignis’ frown deepens. “I rather doubt--” he says. Then he pauses. “What is it that you think he’s angry about?” he asks.

He swallows. “About the clothes,” he whispers. “I lost the clothes.”

“I see,” Ignis says. He puts the cylindrical vessel down on a small table. Then he comes and sits opposite him. He takes out his phone, taps the screen, and puts it to his ear.

“Yes, hello,” he says after a moment. “No, I’m afraid it can’t wait. I’m with Prompto.” He pauses. “He’s quite upset. He says you’re angry with him. Something about clothes.” His expression is neutral, but there’s something sharp in his tone. “Mm,” he says. “Yes, I should say so.” Then he takes the phone away from his ear and puts it in his pocket. “Now,” he says. “Have you eaten yet today?”

The thought of eating anything makes him feel sick. He wishes he hadn’t eaten the soup before. It feels like it’s turned solid in his stomach. Ignis called Cor. And then-- what? What did Cor say? He wishes he’d sharpened his hearing to listen. But he’s not supposed to do that. And--

The door opens. Cor strides through. He stops in the middle of the room. He looks at Ignis. Ignis raises his eyebrows. Then Cor looks at him. Cor stares at him. Cor looks – wrong, like parts of his face are too stretched. There’s a smear of blood on his cheek, and then he sees that there’s blood on his knuckles, too. He looks angry. And he looks tired. And he doesn’t know – Cor came back, but he doesn’t know--

“Kid,” Cor says. His voice sounds strange. Then he doesn’t say anything else. He just stares at him. He stares at him and he looks strange and wrong.

“I’m sorry about the clothes,” he says. “I didn’t mean to lose them.” It’s hard to get the words out. They make him feel like he’s choking.

Cor stares at him. “What?” he says.

“The clothes,” he whispers. “The green shirt.” Cor gave him the shirt. He wishes he’d gone back for it.

Cor opens his mouth. Then he closes it again. Then he puts his hand over his eyes. “Fuck,” he whispers.

“Marshal,” Ignis says. He says it very quietly.

For a second, Cor doesn’t do anything. He just stands there with his hand over his eyes. Then, abruptly, he straightens up. He lowers his hand and shakes his head.

“I don’t give a shit about--” he starts, and then suddenly he lunges forward, takes two steps, and grabs him by the shoulders. He pulls him to his feet. And he holds him. He holds him, but it’s different. It’s not like he’s held him before. Cor’s holding him tight and moving backwards and forwards. Like he’s rocking. He’s rocking him. He has one hand on the back of his head and he’s pressed his face into his shoulder. And he’s saying something. It’s hard to hear because it’s muffled by his shoulder. But he listens. And he hears it. I’m sorry, Cor’s saying. He’s saying it again and again. I’m sorry.

He doesn’t know what Cor’s sorry about. But Cor’s – Cor’s upset. He’s upset. He doesn’t want Cor to be upset. He wants to – do something to make Cor less upset. He doesn’t know what to do. But he thinks – he thinks about how it makes him feel better when Cor holds him. So he holds Cor, too. He copies the way the Cor’s holding him. He puts a hand on the back of Cor’s head. Cor makes a surprised-sounding noise. Then he holds him even tighter. But he stops saying he’s sorry. He just holds him. And so he holds Cor back. He doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do. But he does it anyway.

At last, Cor pulls back a little. He puts his hands on either side of his face and looks at him. His eyes look bloodshot.

“Kid,” he says. He sounds like he’s in pain. “I’m not angry. I’m not angry with you, OK? I don’t care about – clothes, or whatever other thing you’ve decided is a big deal. I don’t care about anything except that you’re safe. I just – I want you to be safe. That’s all I want. I just want you to be safe. And you – And I--” He closes his eyes for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he says, opening his eyes again. “Kid, I’m so sorry I didn’t keep you safe.”

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t understand what Cor means. But Cor’s – Cor’s upset. He’s upset. And he’s not angry. And – it’s good, that Cor’s not angry. But he doesn’t want Cor to be upset. He doesn’t want Cor to look so tired.

Cor pulls him close again. “I’m going to keep you safe now,” he says. “You’re safe now. You’re safe now.”

And he thinks about being outside. About the bright white lights and the rain, and the one with the green jacket. Cor knows now about how he sometimes wakes up in a different place from where he went to sleep. And Cor’s not angry. Cor says he’s going to keep him safe. So maybe Cor can stop it from happening. Maybe.

“You’re safe now,” Cor murmurs. He can feel Cor’s voice vibrating in his chest.

Yes, he thinks. I’m safe now.

Chapter Text

After a while, Cor lets go of him. He stands and looks at him and doesn’t say anything. His eyes look bloodshot. Then he sighs and rubs his hand over his hair.

“Sit down, kid,” he says.

He sits. Cor sits, too. Cor leans forward, his elbows on his knees. He stares at him.

“Listen,” he says. Then he doesn’t say anything. It’s familiar. He remembers that before, he used to find it confusing when Cor said Listen but didn’t say anything. But now it feels – familiar. It feels good. Because it’s Cor. It’s what Cor does.

Cor closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again. “Listen,” he says again, “I gotta – ask you something.”

He nods. He waits for the question. He doesn’t know why Cor told him he was going to ask a question instead of just asking it.

Cor sits up and taps his fingers on his knee. Then he leans forward again. “Uh,” he says. “Are you – do you feel sore?”

He considers the question and makes some assumptions about the parameters, based on Cor’s reaction to his previous responses to similar questions. “Yes,” he says.

Cor’s mouth flattens. “Where?” he says. He sounds like his teeth are clenched.

“My feet,” he says. “And my head.”

There’s a brief silence. Cor stares at him.

“Nowhere else?” he says at last. “It doesn’t – hurt to sit down?”

Ignis straightens in his chair at this question and looks sharply at Cor. He frowns, but he doesn’t speak.

“No,” he says. The chair is very soft. Sitting in it is pleasant.

Cor blows out his breath and closes his eyes. “OK,” he says. “OK.”

“Marshal--” Ignis says, but Cor lifts his hand.

“Just--” he says. Then he shakes his head. He doesn’t look at Ignis. He keeps looking at him. Ignis stops speaking and doesn’t start again, but he’s frowning.

“Kid,” Cor says. He stops. Then he draws a breath. “Kid, listen. This is important. If anyone tries to – touch you, or make you do something you don’t want to do, you need to say no, all right? You need to stop them.”

He stares at Cor. People touch him all the time. Cor touches him. And other people. And the other thing Cor said – he doesn’t understand that at all. He has to follow orders. It’s what he was designed to do. How can he follow orders if he’s not supposed to do things he doesn’t want to do? There are lots of things he doesn’t want to do. But he has to follow orders. But now – Cor’s ordering him not to follow orders. He starts to feel strange and dizzy. He doesn’t understand.

“Kid?” Cor says. “You understand what I said?”

He swallows. “No,” he says. He’s glad Cor asked if he understood. What Cor said is – impossible to understand. He doesn’t know why Cor said it. Why anyone would say something like that. He looks at Ignis to see if Ignis can help. But Ignis looks strange. His face looks – strange and tight, and he’s sitting very still, looking at something in the distance.

“People touch me all the time,” he says. Maybe if Cor realises how strange the first command was, he’ll rescind both and they won’t have to talk about the second command.

Cor stares at him. He stares and stares. Then he closes his eyes and rubs his hands over his face.

“I can’t do this,” he mutters. Then he shakes his head. “No, kid, listen,” he says. “I mean – you’re – you – there’s stuff that people – shouldn’t do. People shouldn’t touch you. I mean – people you don’t know.” He pauses a moment, then shakes his head again. “Not just people you don’t know, because – oh, fuck. Shit. Shit.”

He stands up then and strides around to the back of the couch. He leans forward, putting his hands on the back of the couch, and stares at the couch cushions. He stares at the cushions. Then, abruptly, he stands up and folds his arms in front of him.

“Listen,” he says, “I need time to – figure out how to explain this to you, OK? I need some time. But in the meantime, you need to just – not let anyone touch you, all right? Don’t let anyone touch you except me. And don’t – if anyone tells you to do something, you check with me first, all right? Don’t – follow any orders, don’t go with anyone, don’t – don’t do anything unless I tell you it’s OK.”

Ignis seems to shake himself. He looks around at Cor. “With respect, Marshal, that’s not very practical.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Cor says. “I gotta – make sure.”

Ignis stares at him. Then he nods.

“Am I to understand--” he says, then looks at him. He looks at him, then he looks back at Cor. His face still looks strange and tight. “What I think I understand?” he says.

Cor sighs. He closes his eyes. “I don’t know,” he says. “Ask Clarus. I can’t talk about it or I’m gonna – put my fist through a wall.”

He looks at Cor’s hands. He wonders if the knuckles are bloody because Cor put his fist through a wall. He wonders why Cor wants to do that. It doesn’t seem like an efficient use of Cor’s skills.

Ignis nods. He stands up. “Perhaps Doctor Fortis--?” he says.

Cor’s face seems almost to collapse. “Oh thank fuck, Fortis,” he says. He pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Thank fuck,” he mutters again, and starts tapping it.

He waits. He understands all the things Ignis and Cor are saying to each other, but he doesn’t understand any of the meaning. He feels tired. It’s a long time since he felt like he was starting to understand more. Now he feels like he’s understanding less and less. It’s tiring.

“Yeah, Doc, it’s Leonis,” Cor says into the phone. He pauses a moment. “Yeah, we found him. He’s – he’s OK.” He glances at him, then turns and walks out of the room. He closes the door behind him.

He considers sharpening his hearing. He wants to know what Cor’s saying to the one with the black hair. And he wants to know what she’s saying to Cor. He wants to understand all the things that have happened this morning, and why Cor’s angry, and why Cor’s upset, and why Cor told him not to obey orders. None of it makes sense. But Cor told him not to listen to people when they didn’t know he was listening. But Cor also told him not to obey people when they tell him to do things he doesn’t want to do. And he doesn’t want to not listen. But he feels sure – he feels sure it’s not right. That he still needs to obey orders, even though Cor said not to. He hopes that Cor’s telling the one with the black hair to come and explain. The one with the black hair explains things well. Cor isn’t as clear in his explanations.

Ignis looks at him. “Are you all right, Prompto?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t really know if he’s all right. He feels – very confused. And very tired. And he wants Cor to stop being upset, but he doesn’t know why Cor’s upset so he doesn’t know whether he’ll stop soon or not.

Ignis sits down on the couch. “When you were lost,” he says, speaking very carefully, “did someone – touch you in a strange way?”

“Yes,” he says. “A person touched my stomach and my back. Then I don’t know what happened after that. I was in the bed and then I was outside.”

Ignis sits quietly for a moment. “You were in a bed with a person?” he asks at last.

He nods. “A person with a green jacket,” he says.

Ignis nods. He’s sitting very still, and when he speaks, all the words are very clear, like he’s trying to make sure he pronounces them as carefully as possible. “Can you tell me where you were when you met this – person?” he asks.

“I was in a park,” he says. “I don’t know where.”

“And where did you go afterwards?” Ignis asks.

“We went to his apartment,” he says. “And then – I left, and I walked down the street. And then some other people came and they took me in their car to a building, and then Cor came and found me.” He remembers how relieved he was when Cor came. It makes his throat feel tight.

Ignis sits silent for a moment. “When you walked away from the apartment building,” he says, very slowly, “do you know which direction you walked in?”

“Yes,” he says. He walked in the same direction that he was walking in the morning, before he met the one with the green jacket. “I walked towards where the sun appears when Eos rotates. And then I saw the purple light and I walked towards that. But then the people came and told me to get in their car.”

“The purple light?” Ignis asks. “The light from the Citadel?”

“Yes,” he says.

“On your left?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. Ignis must know where he was. Ignis knows a lot of things.

Ignis nods again. “After you turned towards the light, how long was it before the people came and told you to get in their car?” he asks.

“It wasn’t long,” he says. “I don’t know exactly.” He should have counted his steps, maybe. He didn’t know Ignis would want to know.

“That’s quite all right,” Ignis says. Then the door opens and Cor comes back in. He strides over to him and holds out the phone.

“Doc wants to talk to you,” he says.

He takes the phone. “Hello?” he says.

“Prompto,” the one with the black hair says. “I’m so relieved to hear you’re all right.”

“Yes,” he says. He feels better now than he did before, when he was lost. But he still feels confused. And Cor’s upset and he doesn’t know why.

“I was wondering if I could come talk to you,” the one with the black hair says. “Would you like that?”

“Yes,” he says. “Please.” It would be good. He wants to talk to the one with the black hair, so she can explain things.

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. “Cor tells me you’re to have some tests this morning, but I think I can make some space in my schedule this afternoon. If that’s all right with you?”

“Yes,” he says again. “Yes.” He doesn’t know what time it is, but he hopes it’s not very long until the afternoon.

“Well, I’ll see you soon, then,” the one with the black hair says. “I’m so happy to hear you’re all right, Prompto.”

“Yes,” he says.

“Goodbye,” the one with the black hair says.

“Yes,” he says. “Goodbye.”

Then the one with the black hair goes away from the other end of the phone. He holds the phone out to Cor. Cor takes it and stares at him. Then he shoves the phone in his pocket.

“I’m sorry, kid,” he says. “I didn’t mean to – freak you out. I mean – scare you. You don’t have to be scared.”

“Oh,” he says. Is he scared? He feels strange. He’s not sure he’s scared. He knows he’s confused and a little dizzy and worried about Cor. Cor doesn’t seem to be getting any less upset. He wishes the one with the black hair was still on the phone so he could ask her about it.

Then he hears someone shouting outside the door. The shouting is coming closer. He can’t understand the words. But he recognises the voice. It’s Gladio.

Ignis stands up. “I’ll go and--” he starts. Then the shouting is right outside the door, and he can hear the words now.

“--you want me to call him down here?” Gladio’s saying. “Don’t think I won’t.”

He doesn’t hear any response, but then Gladio speaks again. “Yeah, right. A royal pain in my ass.”

Suddenly, the door flies open and Noctis comes in. His shoulders are hunched and he looks angry.

“Just fucking call him, then,” he’s saying. “Tell him I said hi.” He stops walking, suddenly, staring at him.

He swallows. Noctis looks angry. Noctis is just staring at him. He stands up. Then Noctis starts moving again. He walks quickly towards him. When he gets within arm’s reach, he reaches out and shoves him. It’s not a hard shove, but it’s surprising, and he staggers slightly.

“Douche,” Noctis says.

He stares at Noctis. He doesn’t know what douche means, but he knows Noctis is angry with him. And Noctis touched him. He’s not supposed to let people touch him. But he didn’t know Noctis was going to. He looks at Cor to see if he’s angry. But Cor just looks surprised.

“Highness,” Cor says. “Your father gave orders--”

“Yeah, yeah,” Noctis says, waving his hand without looking at Cor. “Tell him to come down and tell me himself.” Noctis is still glaring at him. He looks back at Noctis and wonders what the appropriate thing to do is. But then Noctis steps forward and puts his arms around him. It happens fast – Noctis is holding him and then Noctis stops holding him. It happens too quickly for him to tell Noctis he’s not supposed to touch him. He looks at Cor again to see if Cor’s angry. Cor only told him not to let anyone touch him a short while ago, but now Noctis has already touched him twice. But Cor doesn’t look angry. Cor’s just staring at him.

He becomes aware that Gladio is standing not far behind Noctis, and that there are two people with the same uniform as the silent ones in the doorway. Both are holding controllers like the ones for the collar he wears. Everyone is staring at him. Cor, Gladio, Ignis, Noctis, the two new silent ones. He wishes they would stop looking at him. His head feels strange, like it’s not quite connected to his shoulders.

“You can’t just – disappear like that,” Noctis says.

“Noct, perhaps we should discuss this in private,” Ignis says.

Noctis does look round, then. “You mean you want to take me somewhere else and then lock the doors so I can’t hang out with Prompto any more?” he says.

“That’s certainly not--” Ignis starts, but Noctis interrupts him.

“Don’t even try,” he says. “I know what your orders are, believe me.”

“Noctis,” says another voice then. He looks and sees that the one with the club is standing in the doorway. Noctis’ shoulders stiffen when he hears his voice, but he doesn’t turn around.

“He’s my friend,” Noctis says. He’s not sure who he’s talking to.

The one with the club sighs. “I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

Noctis still doesn’t look round. He’s looking at him, but he’s not talking to him. “So that’s it, huh?” he says. “You’re gonna keep him in jail for the rest of his life?”

“I can’t make any promises,” the one with the club says. “But that would certainly not be my preference.”

Noctis stands still, chewing his lip. He waits. Everyone’s looking at Noctis now. Waiting to see what he’ll do next. He’s waiting. They’re all waiting.

Then Noctis turns on his heel, but he doesn’t walk away. He stands with his back to him, looking at the one with the club.

“He’s my friend,” he says again. “Don’t – he hasn’t even done anything. And he’s my friend.”

The one with the club nods.

“I know,” he says. “I understand.”

“No, you don’t,” Noctis says. “You don’t understand anything. You don’t get it, all you care about is--” Abruptly, he turns his head, looking at the two silent ones. “What are you so scared of?” he asks. He sounds angry. “He’s just a kid.”

The silent ones both look worried. “Yes, your highness,” one of them mumbles.

“Noctis,” the one with the club says again. “We can talk about this. Somewhere else.” His voice is gentle, but it’s an order. The one with the club is the supreme commander. So now Noctis has to do what he says.

But Noctis doesn’t. Instead, he turns back to him.

“You’re OK, though, right?” he says. “You look like crap.”

“Oh,” he says. He looks down at himself. He’s not wearing shoes, but otherwise he doesn’t think he looks very different from normal. Looking down makes him feel light-headed. He wonders what crap is and what it looks like. “Yes, I’m OK.”

Noctis looks like he’s about to say something else, but then there are more footsteps in the hall. A moment later, the one from the phone appears in the doorway. He stops when he sees Noctis, looking shocked, then furious. Then he turns to Gladio.

“Gladiolus, what is the meaning of this?” he asks.

“Hey, I did everything I could to stop him,” Gladio says, holding up his hands. “I mean, I guess I could have knocked him out, but--”

“It’s not Gladio’s fault,” Noctis says, but the one from the phone says something else at the same time, and then suddenly everyone’s talking at once, and it’s loud. It’s loud and everyone’s angry and he wishes they weren’t there. That there was no-one there. His ears start ringing, and he puts his hands over them and closes his eyes. He can still hear everyone talking, but then the ringing gets louder, and then it’s all he can hear. He can hear the ringing, and he thinks he can hear someone shouting in the distance. Then he feels a hand on his arm. Then he’s lying down. He feels different. His ears aren’t ringing and everything’s quiet.

He opens his eyes.

He’s lying on one of the couches. The night-time silent one is sitting on the opposite couch. Apart from him, the room is empty.

He shifts slightly, and the night-time silent one looks up and grins at him.

“Welcome back,” he says. “Things got kind of weird for a sec there, huh?”

He sits up. His head spins a little and he leans back against the couch.

“Was I asleep?” he asks.

The night-time silent one shrugs. “You just kinda – spaced out,” he says. “Freaked Papa Bear the hell out, I can tell you that much.”

Papa Bear is Cor. He looks around to see where Cor is.

“He went to yell at someone. Or everyone,” the silent one says. “Pretty sure he’ll be back any minute. I’m not exactly his favourite person to leave you with right now, if you know what I mean.”

“No,” he says. The silent one laughs, then rubs the back of his head. It’s not a real-sounding laugh, like he’s happy. It sounds strange and not quite right.

“Hey, listen – I fucked up,” he says. “I was supposed to be watching you, and – you disappeared. I swear, my life flashed before my eyes when the Marshal opened your door and you weren’t there.”

He tries to understand. Then he understands. The silent one was guarding him when he left the house by the park. And Cor was angry with the silent one because he didn’t stop him from leaving.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“No, I’m sorry,” the silent one says. He’s not smiling, now. “I’m real sorry. And – yeah. I’m in the shit, kiddo. But it’ll pass. You’re OK, and that’s the main thing. Gave us quite a scare.”

The one with the brown hair said the same thing. Gave us quite a scare. He rubs his eyes. His head hurts. He feels like too many things have happened and he can’t keep track of all of them. He feels like he hasn’t understood anything properly since he woke up and he wasn’t in the house by the park any more.

The door opens. It’s Cor. The silent one jumps to his feet, standing to attention. Cor doesn’t even look at the silent one. He only looks at him. He comes and sits on the low table in front of the couch, facing him.

“You’re awake,” he says. “You feel OK?”

“Yes,” he says. Then he remembers he’s supposed to make sure not to lie, even accidentally. “My head hurts,” he says.

Cor nods. He digs in his pocket and pulls out a small bottle. “Got you some pills,” he says. He hands over the bottle. “Take two.”

He obeys. Then he looks at the silent one. The silent one is still standing to attention. He looks at him. Then he looks at Cor. Cor frowns, then glances round. His frown deepens.

“You can go, Crownsguard,” he says.

“Sir,” the silent one says. Then he leaves. He closes the door quietly. Then it’s just him and Cor. It’s good. Even though it’s good to spend time with Noctis and Gladio and Ignis, when he thinks about them all being in the room with the one with the club and the one from the phone and the two silent ones, he wants to close his eyes and cover his ears again. But now only Cor is here.

Cor puts his hands on his shoulders, then on his face. He looks into his face. He’s frowning.

“You scared me back there,” he says. “You want to tell me what happened?”

“I spaced out,” he says. That’s what the night-time silent one said. He doesn’t know what it means. But it feels like it means the right thing. He feels like there was suddenly a lot of space in his head, like all of him became mostly space and noise and nothing else.

Cor snorts. He sounds surprised. “Yeah, kid,” he says. “You really did.” He shakes his head. “We gotta figure this thing out. What’s going on with you?”

“I don’t know,” he says. He feels tired. But it’s all right, now, because only Cor’s here, and Cor’s not angry.

“I know, kid,” Cor says. He sighs. “We’ll figure it out, OK?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. He lets go of his face, pats him on the shoulder, then closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He sits like that in silence for a moment. His shoulders are hunched. Then he takes a deep breath and stands up.

“OK, I’m gonna take you for some tests,” he says. “I’ll be there the whole time. I won’t let anyone do anything bad to you. But if you feel bad, you gotta let me know, OK, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s still not sure what Cor means when he says to tell him if he feels bad. But he thinks he doesn’t mean every bad feeling. That would take a long time. So he thinks it’s only when he feels really bad.

“Then let’s go,” Cor says.

So they go.

~

Cor takes him to the room where the one with the white coat lives. Two silent ones follow them. Neither of them is the night-time silent one. The night-time silent one said he wasn’t Cor’s favourite person to be leaving him with. He understands. The night-time silent one was guarding him and he left and then Cor had to find him. So Cor thinks the night-time silent one performed inadequately. He realises he doesn’t know how he got out of the house by the park. If he went out through the door, then the night-time silent one performed inadequately. But if he went out through the window, then the night-time silent one couldn’t have seen him and known to stop him.

He remembers waking up with blood on his foot and the window open, at Cor’s apartment in the middle of the night. He thinks he probably went out of the house by the park through the window. But he doesn’t know. And Cor knows more about the night-time silent one’s performance than he does. But he doesn’t want Cor to be angry with the night-time silent one. It makes him feel bad.

Then they arrive at the room where the one with the white coat lives. She performs a lot of tests. All the usual ones, and she takes his blood and has him read a chart and walk along a line on the floor. She weighs him as well, and then she tells him to sit on the table on wheels, and she folds her arms and frowns at him.

“The obvious thing is to do an MRI,” she says at last. “But I don’t want to risk it. We have no idea how the electronic parts of him would react.”

“What are the other options?” Cor asks.

She thinks for a moment. “I can do an EEG for now,” she says. “I don’t know how it’ll be affected by his – modifications, but at least it won’t interact with them. There might be some other options. I’ll need to speak to the Royal.”

“OK,” Cor says. “Do what you gotta do, Doc.”

After that, the one with the white coat performs a complex test which involves putting a cap on his head and using it to measure some aspect of his functioning. He would like to know more about what the test is for and how it works, but the one with the white coat doesn’t tell him, and neither does Cor. After the test is complete, the one with the white coat takes the cap from his head.

“We’ll remeasure at the same time tomorrow,” she says. “Once we’ve got some baseline data, we can start to see if anything emerges. I’m not going to lie to you, Marshal, even if there is something I can detect, it’s going to be a slow process. He may need to see a specialist.”

“Got it,” Cor says. “Right now I don’t want anyone knowing about him unless we have no choice, so do what you can.”

“Of course,” the one with the white coat says. Then she looks at him. “I’m glad you’re all right,” she says. “You gave us quite a scare.”

He looks at her. Then he looks at Cor. Neither of them looks scared. But everyone keeps saying he scared them. It’s difficult to understand.

“All right, let’s get you back,” Cor says.

So they go back to the room with the blue bed. He sits down on the couch, and Cor sits opposite. He wonders when they’ll go back to the house by the park. Or even to Cor’s apartment. The blue bed is comfortable, and so are the couches, and the plants are here so he doesn’t have to worry about them, but he would like to look out of the window at the park.

“You wanna take a nap before your appointment with Dr Fortis?” Cor asks.

He wants to ask what a nap is, but before he can, he falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, he hears Cor talking. Cor isn’t sitting opposite him any more, but he can hear him talking. He’s talking quietly, and he’s over near the door to the room. He lies quietly with his eyes closed and listens to what Cor’s saying.

“The Crownsguard are pretty trustworthy, doc,” he’s saying. “They don’t know him anyway, so it’s not like it’d matter to them what they heard.”

Then someone else speaks. It’s the one with the black hair. She’s talking quietly enough that he can’t hear what she’s saying.

“Yeah, I get that, and I agree,” Cor says. “But it’s not my call. You want to see him without a guard, you’re gonna have to take it up with the King.”

The one with the black hair speaks again. Then there’s the sound of a door closing. Then he hears footsteps coming towards him. He hears someone sitting on the couch opposite. The person sighs. It’s Cor.

He opens his eyes. Cor’s sitting on the couch. His head is tipped back, resting on the back of the couch, and his eyes are closed. He looks tired.

He sits up. Cor’s head snaps up. His eyes open. “Hey, kid,” he says. He adjusts his posture so that he’s sitting much straighter. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He looks at the door. It’s closed. The one with the black hair isn’t there. He looks at Cor. “Are you OK?”

Cor looks surprised. Then he smiles. It’s only a small smile, but it makes him look less tired. So it’s good.

“Yeah, kid,” he says. “I’m good.”

He nods. He’s glad Cor’s OK. But he still feels worried. He’s still worried about Cor, even though Cor said he was OK. He tries to not be worried, but it doesn’t work. He looks at the door again. The one with the black hair was here, but she went away. He wishes she would come back so he could ask her about – everything. He wants to ask her about everything.

It’s quiet for a while. Cor doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t say anything either. He wonders where Noctis went. And Ignis and Gladio. But mostly Noctis, because Noctis was angry. And – Noctis wasn’t just angry. He behaved strangely, as well. He remembers the one with the black hair telling him that Noctis wouldn’t always behave correctly because he’s between thirteen and nineteen years old. It’s hard to understand why being between thirteen and nineteen years old would make someone behave strangely. But Noctis does behave strangely, so it must be true.

Cor’s phone rings. He pulls it out and looks at it, then mutters something under his breath, takes a deep breath and puts it to his ear.

“Your Majesty?” he says. He listens for a moment. “Yeah, I told her she needed to talk to you.” A pause. The corners of Cor’s mouth twitch. “Yes, sir, she definitely is,” he says. Then he listens for longer. He starts to look serious. “Are you asking my opinion, sir?” he says, then, after a brief pause, “I think she’s a miracle worker.” He listens. Then he nods. “Yes, sir. Understood.” He takes the phone away from his ear and looks at it for a moment. Then he shakes his head and puts it in his pocket. He looks at him. “Your therapist is one tough lady, kid,” he says.

He opens his mouth to ask what therapist means, but then there’s a knock at the door. It opens and the one with the black hair steps inside. She smiles at him.

“Hello, Prompto,” she says. “It’s good to see you.” Then she looks at Cor. “I spoke to the king.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Cor says. He gets to his feet. Then he looks at him. “You OK to talk to Dr Fortis now?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s been wanting to talk to her for a long time.

Cor nods. “I’ll be right outside,” he says. “Come get me if you need anything.”

“Yes,” he says again. Then Cor leaves. He closes the door behind him.

The one with the black hair comes and sits where Cor was sitting. She looks around the room. Then she looks at him and smiles.

“How are you feeling?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says, then thinks that the response was incorrect. He has a lot of questions. There are so many that he can’t think of what to ask. He wants to ask everything. “Noctis is angry with me,” he says. It wasn’t what he meant to say. But it’s something he wants to know about, so he thinks it’s not completely wrong.

The one with the black hair considers him. “How do you know that?” she asks.

He thinks about how he knows it. “He pushed me,” he says. “And he sounded angry.” He frowns, thinking about Noctis. About what Noctis said, and what he did. “And he held me,” he says.

“He held you?” the one with the black hair asks. “How did he hold you?”

“He – put his arms round me,” he says. He demonstrates, holding his arms out. “Cor does it sometimes.”

The one with the black hair nods. “He hugged you,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. “It’s called hugged?”

“If I’m understanding correctly,” the one with the black hair says.

He nods. He’s glad there’s a word for it. It feels right that there should be a word for it.

The one with the black hair is looking at him. “Do you know what it means when someone does that to someone else?” she asks.

He shakes his head. “Cor does it sometimes,” he says again.

“How does it make you feel when Cor does it?” she asks.

He thinks about it. He wants to be correct. “It feels good,” he says. “It feels warm.”

The one with the black hair smiles. “I agree,” she says. “Hugs are an expression of affection. When someone hugs you, it means they care about you and they want you to feel good and warm.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about affection. Yes. It feels right. It makes sense. Cor holds him – hugs him – and it feels – it feels like affection. Yes.

But then--

“But Noctis hugged me,” he says. “He was angry when he hugged me.”

The one with the black hair taps her finger against her lips. “Did he say anything to you?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. He tries to remember exactly what Noctis said. He wants to get it right so that the one with the black hair will be able to explain correctly. “He said – I couldn’t just disappear. And he asked if I was OK. And he said I looked like crap. And--” He tries to remember the word. “He said douche. And he pushed me.”

The one with the black hair nods. She looks thoughtful. “Did he push you hard?” she asks.

“No,” he says. “But he was angry.”

The one with the black hair doesn’t say anything for a moment or two. Then she nods.

“How do you think Prince Noctis felt when you went missing?” she asks.

He frowns. It’s not a question he’d considered. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to obtain the answer. He doesn’t know how Noctis felt. He wasn’t there, so he couldn’t see. And even if he had been there, he’s not very good at understanding how people are feeling. Especially Noctis.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “Then – let’s think about this a different way. How would you feel if Prince Noctis disappeared and no-one could find him?”

He considers the question. He tries to imagine Noctis going missing. It makes his stomach hurt.

“I would feel bad,” he says.

“What kind of bad?” the one with the black hair asks.

He tries to analyse the feeling in his stomach. It’s difficult. It feels like multiple feelings at the same time. He’s not sure he knows what all of them are.

“I – worried,” he says. He would be worried that something bad might have happened to Noctis. And then-- “Scared,” he adds. “And – I would want him to come back.”

The one with the black hair nods. “I can’t tell you for sure how Prince Noctis feels,” she said. “But I suspect that when you were missing he felt very much the same way.”

He stares at her. “How do you know that?” he asks. He doesn’t understand how the one with the black hair can know so many things about how people are feeling.

“I don’t know for sure,” the one with the black hair says. “But it seems to me that Prince Noctis feels a great deal of affection for you, and that he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you. So if he didn’t know where you were or if anything bad was happening to you, he would be worried and scared. Exactly the same way that you would be worried and scared in the reverse situation.”

He thinks about this. He knows that he feels affection for Noctis. And when he thinks carefully about it, he sees the connection between the affection and feeling worried and scared if Noctis went missing. So that makes sense. So if Noctis feels affection for him – then--

He frowns. “Everyone keeps saying I gave them quite a scare,” he says. “I scared them. I don’t know how I scared them. But – then if they were scared because--” He stops. It’s hard to think clearly. He thinks he can almost understand something. But it’s hard to make it all fit.

“Did Cor say that?” the one with the black hair asks. “That you gave him quite a scare?”

“No,” he says. Cor said You OK, kid? And Cor hugged him. And Cor was-- “Cor was upset,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods. “He certainly was,” she says.

He tries to chase the ends of his thoughts, but they keep slipping away before he can grasp them. And then he realises he still hasn’t understood about Noctis. So he goes back to that.

“But Noctis wasn’t scared,” he says. “He was angry.”

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “Yes. Now, do you remember me telling you about Noctis and how he might have some difficulty with expressing his emotions?”

“Yes,” he says. “Because he’s between thirteen and nineteen years old.”

The one with the black hair smiles. “Exactly,” she says. “Although in fact, it’s not at all uncommon for much older people to have some difficulty expressing their emotions. Especially men, though it’s certainly not exclusive to them.” She pauses. “In any case, when people have trouble expressing their emotions, they often end up expressing and even thinking that they’re experiencing a different emotion from the one they’re truly feeling. For example, it’s very common for people to appear to be angry, when actually they’re frightened or worried or sad, or experiencing some other negative emotion.”

He stares at her. “Oh,” he says. It sounds – impossible. How is he supposed to understand emotions if people don’t even express the right ones? He wants to understand, but how can he? It doesn’t make any sense.

“I know it sounds very confusing,” the one with the black hair says. “I’m afraid even people who haven’t had such an unusual background as you find these things difficult to navigate at times. But I think – I strongly suspect that Prince Noctis wasn’t really angry with you at all – or at least, that anger was a fairly minor part of his overall feelings towards you. I think it’s likely that he was scared when you disappeared.” She pauses, then she looks at him. “I know I certainly was,” she says.

He sits up a little straighter. “You were scared?” he says. He can’t imagine the one with the black hair being scared. He can’t imagine her being anything except – calm and smiling.

The one with the black hair nods. “I was,” she says. She doesn’t look scared. But she’s not smiling now.

“Why?” he asks.

The one with the black hair doesn’t speak for a moment. She looks very serious. Then she says: “Because I care about you, Prompto. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. When someone you care about disappears and you think something bad may have happened to them, it’s frightening. That’s why people keep telling you you gave them a scare.”

He stares at her. He stares and stares. “You care about me?” he says at last.

“I certainly do,” the one with the black hair says.

He tries to understand this. “Do you feel affection for me?” he asks.

The one with the black hair smiles. “Yes, I do,” she says.

He sits back. “Oh,” he says. He hadn’t considered that the one with the black hair might feel affection for him. It makes him feel – confused. And warm. He wonders whether he feels affection for the one with the black hair. Then he thinks about all the people who’ve told him that he gave them a scare. The night-time silent one and the one with the white coat and the one with the brown hair. He doesn’t think all those people can feel affection for him. Can they?

“Were people scared who don’t feel affection for me?” he asks.

“Hm,” says the one with the black hair. “Yes, I think it’s likely they were. People can not want something bad to happen to you without having particularly strong feelings about you as a person, or even without really knowing you at all. But in most cases, the people who feel the most affection for you will be the ones who are most scared and concerned about your safety.”

“Oh,” he says. “Why would someone who doesn’t know me be scared that something bad might happen to me?”

The one with the black hair doesn’t answer for a minute. She looks like she’s thinking. “Because humans care about other humans,” she says at last. “Most people would prefer nothing bad to happen to most other people, even if they don’t know them. And most people care particularly about protecting young people, like yourself.”

“I’m not a human,” he says. “I’m an MT unit.”

The one with the black hair smiles. But now her smile doesn’t look quite the same as it usually does. “Prompto,” she says. “Have you ever considered that you can be both a human and an MT unit?”

He stares at her. “No,” he says. Then he shakes his head. “An MT unit is different from a human.”

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “Well. Perhaps we can talk about that more another time. But for now, let’s just say that people care about you, just as they care about other – people. There are many people around you who don’t see the distinction you do between MT units and humans. Perhaps in the future, when you’re thinking about the way people feel about you, you should try to remember that they might not see you any differently from how they see anyone else.”

He shakes his head again. The one with the black hair is right about a lot of things, but – he doesn’t think she can be right about this. “They should see me differently,” he says. “I am different.”

The one with the black hair looks at him in silence for a moment. “Perhaps I didn’t phrase that as well as I might have,” she says. “I didn’t mean to say that there are no differences between you and other people. Of course there are. You have had very specific experiences, and as a result you have quite an unusual way of thinking. I certainly don’t mean to say that that isn’t important. But what I mean is that, regardless of the nature of the thoughts you have and the ways you behave, I consider you to be as worthy of protection and care as any other person on Eos. And I know that many others feel the same way.”

He stares at the one with the black hair. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. No words come out because – he doesn’t have any thoughts. His head seems empty. There’s only surprise. He didn’t expect the one with the black hair to say that. He never would have expected her to say that.

The one with the black hair doesn’t say anything. She just smiles at him. He looks at her and thinks: oh. He thinks that maybe, when he’s had time to think about it, what the one with the black hair said will explain some things. Some of the ways people behave, and some of the things they say. But when he tries to think about it, nothing happens. He just thinks: oh.

“Are you all right, Prompto?” the one with the black hair asks at last.

He swallows. “Does Cor think that?” he asks.

The one with the black hair smiles. “No,” she says. “Cor thinks you are far more worthy of care and protection than most people.”

“Oh,” he says. And he thinks it: oh. He isn’t even surprised. He’s too busy still being surprised about what the one with the black hair said before.

The one with the black hair stands up. “I think we still have a great many things to talk about, but I wonder if you might need a few minutes to consider what I’ve said?”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks he needs more than a few minutes. But he doesn’t want the one with the black hair to go away without talking about all the other things. “You’re coming back?”

“Of course,” the one with the black hair says. “I’ll be back soon.”

She goes to the door and goes out. He sits and looks at the door. A moment later a silent one comes in and looks at him. He doesn’t recognise the silent one. Does the silent one think he’s worthy of care and protection?

Maybe. The one with the black hair is right about a lot of things. So it’s possible. He wouldn’t have imagined it, but – it’s possible. Because she said it.

The silent one frowns, and he realises he’s staring. “You OK, kid?” says the silent one. “You need me to call Pa-- Uh, Marshal Leonis?”

Cor. No, he doesn’t want to see Cor. He wants to think. He wants to think about what the one with the black hair said.

“No,” he says. He looks at the couch, where the one with the black hair was sitting before. She didn’t say he was the same as humans, like Cor does sometimes. But she said – even though he’s different, it doesn’t matter. She said it doesn’t have to matter. He’s – surprised. He’s surprised.

He hopes she comes back soon.

Chapter 45

Notes:

Uh, so like, every time I think I'll be able to write something out in one chapter, it ends up taking five chapters and then some other things shows up in the middle so then it's ten chapters and now the fic is a quarter of a million words long and I can only hope that you guys continue to have major tolerance for long-windedness ♥

Also, thank you all so much for the lovely comments and kudos. They really do lift my mood no end :D

Chapter Text

The one with the black hair comes back before he’s finished thinking about all the things she said. But he thinks that even if she’d stayed away for hours he wouldn’t have finished thinking about them. There’s a lot of things to think about. And he’s glad she came back. He has a lot of questions.

“How do I know who thinks I’m worthy of care and protection?” he asks when she comes in, before she’s sat down. “Should I feel affection for them?” It’s important to know if there’s something he’s supposed to do in return. He doesn’t think people – humans – could want to protect an MT unit that doesn’t provide any services for them. But he’s not sure if feeling affection is a service. He feels unsure of a lot of things.

The one with the black hair smiles. “I’m not sure affection is something you can make yourself feel,” she says. “And even if it were, I don’t think that anyone would ask that of you. Prompto, the people who care about you care about you as you are. You don’t have to do anything different. They already care.”

He stares at her. “Oh,” he says. He still wants to know how he can find out which people care. He knows Cor cares. And he thinks Noctis does, because he was angry and the one with the black hair says that means he was scared. But he doesn’t know who else. The night-time silent one said he was scared, and the one with the white coat, and the one with the brown hair even though he’s only met her a few times. So maybe they care. But who else? Ignis, maybe?

“Prompto, I know you have a lot to think about, but I wanted to ask you something,” the one with the black hair says. “It’s quite important, so please try to answer as fully as you feel comfortable with.”

He sits up a little. “Yes,” he says, and waits for the important question.

The one with the black hair isn’t smiling now. “I wanted to ask you about the man you met while you were lost,” she says.

A sudden image appears in his head: a tall person with purple hair, staring down at him. Then it’s gone. He doesn’t know where it came from. He can’t think of any man. He can’t remember any man.

“What man?” he asks.

The one with the black hair glances down at the papers in her hand. “I’m told you met a man and went to his apartment?” she says.

Oh. “Yes,” he says. Everyone keeps asking him about the one with the green jacket. It’s strange.

The one with the black hair nods. “How did you feel about this man?” she asks. “Did you like him?”

He thinks about the one with the green jacket. He thinks about the apartment where it was dark and felt bad. The one with the green jacket gave him dry clothes and food. But he thinks about the one with the green jacket lying behind him in the bed. It makes him feel cold and itchy.

“No,” he says. He didn’t like the one with the green jacket, even though the one with the green jacket didn’t do anything bad to him. He thinks it’s probably wrong that he didn’t like the one with the green jacket. The one with the green jacket tried to help him. But he didn’t like him, and he’s supposed to always tell the truth to the one with the black hair.

“What was it you didn’t like about him?” the one with the black hair asks.

He tries to analyse the bad feeling. But he still isn’t very good at analysing feelings. It feels bad in a way he hasn’t felt bad before. But he doesn’t know anything else. “I don’t know,” he says.

“Did he do anything to you that you didn’t like?” she asks.

He thinks about what the one with the green jacket did. He gave him dry clothes. And he–

“He gave me a cheeseburger,” he says. “He wanted me to eat it. But I couldn’t eat it all.” The thought of the cheeseburger in his mouth makes him feel strange, sick and dizzy and strangely hollow.

“You didn’t like it?” the one with the black hair asks.

“No,” he says. Noctis likes cheeseburgers. But he didn’t like it. It was too – too solid and too – something. It was too much.

The one with the black hair nods. “Was there anything else he did that you didn’t like?” she asks.

He thinks. But he doesn’t have to think, because he already knows. But he thinks – it’s stupid. But he’s supposed to answer the question as fully as he can.

“He – sat very close to me,” he says.

The one with the black hair doesn’t tell him that’s stupid. She looks very serious. “How close?” she asks.

“He – right next to me,” he says. “So he was – touching me. And then later, in the bed, he was lying right behind me. And I didn’t like it.”

He waits to see what the one with the black hair will say. He thinks it doesn’t make sense to feel bad about the one with the green jacket touching him and being too close to him. People touch him all the time. It’s normal.

The one with the black hair considers him. “Can you tell me exactly how he touched you?” she asks.

He tries to remember. The memories feel blurred around the edges, but sharp at the same time. “He – when we were sitting on the couch, he touched my knee,” he says. “And then in the bed, he touched my side and my stomach. And he asked me if I liked it.”

“Did you like it?” the one with the black hair asks.

“No,” he says. He didn’t like it. He doesn’t want to think about it any more. He remembers the one with the green jacket’s breath on the back of his neck. “Then he touched my port.”

The one with the black hair glances at her notes. “Which of your ports did he touch?” she asks.

“The charging port,” he says. He points to where it is. “And then I can’t remember anything after that.”

“What’s the next thing you remember?” the one with the black hair asks.

“I was outside,” he says. “With the plants. And I didn’t see him again after that.” He thinks about being outside. How his hands hurt, and there was red blood on one of them. Then he stops thinking about that. He doesn’t know what it means. He doesn’t want to think about it. And the one with the black hair hasn’t asked him about it, and Cor hasn’t asked him about it, so it’s not important.

The one with the black hair is silent for a moment, looking at her notes. “I’m going to ask you about that later,” she says. “But for now I want to go back to how the touching made you feel.”

He waits. He doesn’t want to think about the touching any more. But the one with the black hair wants to talk about it, so he has to think about it.

But the one with the black hair doesn’t ask him about the one with the green jacket. She asks him something else.

“How do you feel about being touched in general?” she asks.

The question is unexpected. It takes him a moment to reorient his thoughts so he can answer it. “I don’t feel anything about it,” he says.

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “It doesn’t make you feel bad?”

“No,” he says. He thinks about people touching him. The person who touches him most is Cor. But it feels good when Cor touches him. It makes him feel warm. “I like it when Cor touches me,” he says.

The one with the black hair is in the middle of writing something, but her pen suddenly stops moving. She doesn’t look up, only sits very still for a moment. Then she puts the pen down, folds her hands, and raises her head.

“Prompto,” she says. “Can you – describe to me the ways that Cor touches you?”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks for a moment. “He touches my back and my arm, so I know where to go,” he says. “And he – puts his arm along my shoulders. And he rubs my head. And he holds – he hugs me.”

“That’s all?” the one with the black hair says.

“Yes,” he says. “No. Sometimes he touches my face.” He puts his hand on his cheek to demonstrate. “And once he put his lips on my head.” He touches the spot with his fingertips.

The one with the black hair’s shoulders seem to loosen, and she smiles at him. “And that makes you feel good?” she says.

“Yes,” he says. “It feels warm.” He wants to say something else. He feels like what he’s said isn’t adequate. But – he doesn’t know how to describe it.

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “Does it feel similar to your feelings of affection?”

Oh. “Yes,” he says. “But – it’s not everything.” But that’s part of it, yes. It makes him feel affection. So that’s good. He understands it a little better now.

“Is there anyone who touches you in a way that makes you feel bad?” the one with the black hair asks. “Apart from the man you met while you were lost.”

For a moment, he has a thought, like an image in his head: a man with purple hair gripping his jaw. It’s painful. And then it’s gone. He feels sick and dizzy. He can’t remember what he was just thinking about.

“Prompto?” the one with the black hair asks. She sounds like she’s moved further away. He swallows hard and blinks until his eyes focus. The one with the black hair hasn’t moved further away. She’s sitting opposite him, where she was before. She’s frowning. “Are you all right?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. He coughs. He tries to remember what she asked him. Then he tries to think of the answer. “I – the engineers,” he says. He remembers when he was lying on the table without his clothes and they were touching him. It made him feel bad. But he doesn’t see the engineers any more, so that’s good.

“Ah, yes,” the one with the black hair says. Her voice suddenly sounds different from usual. But then she smiles and her voice goes back to normal. “Is there anyone else?” she asks.

He can’t think of anyone else. “No,” he says. He’s starting to feel – strange. Like there’s something wound up tight inside him. The one with the black hair keeps asking him questions. Everyone’s been asking him questions all day. But no-one’s explained anything. He understands about Noctis being angry now, but he doesn’t understand anything else. Everyone’s been behaving differently, and he doesn’t understand anything. He just wants the one with the black hair to explain everything. But she’s not explaining, she’s just asking questions. It makes him feel – like there’s something wound up tight inside him.

“Cor said no-one was allowed to touch me,” he says. He thinks he should have waited to see what question the one with the black hair asked next. But he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait. “But people touch me all the time. Noctis pushed me and Cor wasn’t angry. So I don’t understand. Why is touching important?” Everyone’s been talking to him about touching today. Cor and Ignis and the one with the black hair. They all want to talk to him about touching and about the one with the green jacket. He doesn’t understand why it’s important.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. “Because – when someone touches you, they make contact with your body. Your body belongs to you. In our culture, we believe that people should be allowed to decide who touches their body, because their body belongs to them.”

“Oh,” he says. He’s not sure he understands the answer, and he needs further contextual data. But she’s explaining. She’s going to explain now. It’s good. “People should be allowed,” he says. That’s what she said, people. And he knows that Cor has feelings about him as a person. As a person. “Am I a person?” he asks.

The one with the black hair sits in silence and stares at him. She looks surprised. She doesn’t usually look like that. Then after a moment, she smiles. Her smile is very wide.

“Yes, you are,” she says. She waits a moment. “Do you believe me?”

He thinks about the question. He doesn’t feel like a person. He’s an MT unit. He doesn’t think MT units are people. But he knows that Cor has feelings about him as a person. And Cor’s his commanding officer. Or – maybe he isn’t. But Cor’s Cor. He doesn’t think Cor can be wrong. And the one with the black hair said it, too, and she knows so many things. Maybe even more than Ignis. So does that mean he’s a person?

“I don’t know,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods. “I understand,” she says. “For now, then, let’s just say that I am entirely convinced that you’re a person, so that when I refer to people you should assume I include you in that group. Is that all right?”

“Yes,” he says. It seems like an efficient solution to the problem.

“Good,” the one with the black hair says. “Now, as I said, we believe that people have the right to decide who can touch them and who can’t at any given moment. The man you met when you were lost touched you when you didn’t want him to. That’s why Cor was upset, and that’s why he told you that no-one else is allowed to touch you.”

“Oh,” he says. It seems strange that something so small could make Cor so upset. “But people touch me all the time.”

“I know,” the one with the black hair says. “But just because something happens frequently doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing, or that it’s not upsetting.”

“Oh,” he says again. It’s a strange idea. If something happens frequently, surely it must be correct? Why would it happen frequently if it was incorrect procedure?

“Prompto, I want to talk to you more about this,” the one with the black hair says. “There are a number of things we need to discuss with regard to touching and the different ways that people can touch you. But first I’d like to give you a task to do.” She takes a piece of paper and draws some lines on it. Then she writes some words. Then she holds it out. “Can you fill this in for me?”

He looks. It’s a chart. There are three columns. The first column is headed: Affectionate touching. The second column is: Neutral touching. The third column is: Unpleasant touching. He looks at the one with the black hair.

“I want you to think about all the different people who touch you, and the ways they touch you, and write them all down in one of these columns,” the one with the black hair says. “If there’s anything that doesn’t fit in any of them, write it on the back and we can talk about how we might categorise it.”

He looks at the paper. The instructions are clear. But he thinks it might take him some time to complete the task. “Should I do it now?” he asks.

“Before we next see each other,” she says.

He nods. He puts the paper on a low table by the couch. Good. He knows what he has to do.

“Now, I want to ask you about something else,” the one with the black hair says. “I want to ask you about how you ended up outside in the first place.”

Oh. He feels a cold feeling in his stomach. “I was just there,” he says. “I went to sleep, and when I woke up I was outside.”

The one with the black hair nods. “What were you doing when you woke up?” she asks.

He tries to remember. The memories are blurred. He remembers the rain and the bright white lights.

“I was standing,” he says. “I had the yellow bag and I was standing. It was raining.”

“Did you know where you were?” the one with the black hair asks.

“No,” he says. “I didn’t know how to find Cor. I tried to find him.”

The one with the black hair smiles. “I know you did,” she says. “You did nothing wrong, Prompto, and I know you did your best to resolve the situation.”

He sits back, the urgent feeling in his stomach subsiding a little. Good. The one with the black hair isn’t angry with how he performed, even though he didn’t manage to find Cor.

“So you went to sleep at home, and then you woke up outside,” the one with the black hair says. “Is that right?”

“Yes,” he says.

“And you had your chocobo bag with you?” the one with the black hair asks.

He looks at the bag. He remembers that when Cor saw it he said chocobo, huh? Chocobo bag must be the name of this kind of bag. “Yes,” he says.

“Was there anything in the bag?” the one with the black hair asks.

“Yes,” he says. “The plants were in the bag.” He looks over at the plants on the windowsill, to make sure they’re still there and haven’t been further damaged. “I didn’t know they were in the bag,” he says. “I would have taken them out so they wouldn’t have been damaged.”

“I’m sure you would,” the one with the black hair says. “You don’t remember putting the plants in the bag?”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t remember anything. He just went to sleep and then he woke up outside.

“And when you were in the apartment with the man you met, the same thing happened?” the one with the black hair asks.

“No,” he says. “I wasn’t asleep. I was awake, and he was touching me. And then I was outside.”

“You didn’t experience anything at all between those two moments?” the one with the black hair asks.

He tries to remember. “I – it hurt,” he says. “It hurt, but then it stopped hurting.”

The one with the black hair frowns. “The man you met hurt you?” she asks.

“No,” he says. “It just – hurt. It wasn’t him. It hurt – inside, all of me, all at once.”

The one with the black hair sits in silence for a moment. “And then it stopped?” she says.

He nods. “And I was outside,” he says.

The one with the black hair writes something down. “You had the plants with you in your bag?” she asks.

“No,” he says. “I was carrying them. I had the plants and the bag separately. The chocobo bag,” he adds. He wants to make sure he uses the correct terminology.

A small smile appears on the one with the black hair’s face. Then she looks serious again. “Has this happened to you at other times?” she asks. “That you’ve found yourself somewhere with no memory of how you came to be there?”

He stares at the one with the black hair. Most of the questions she’s asked so far have been similar to ones that Cor or Ignis or the one from the phone asked him. But no-one’s asked him this question. No-one’s asked it. But now she’s asked it.

“Prompto?” the one with the black hair asks. Then she sits in silence and looks at him. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable,” she says after a few moments. “But whatever your answer is, remember that I won’t tell anyone else and I won’t be angry with you. I only want to help you, if I can.”

He swallows. He doesn’t want to tell the one with the black hair about the other times. Because then she’ll know that he didn’t tell anyone before. That he’s been malfunctioning for weeks – months – and he didn’t tell anyone. And she said he didn’t have to tell her. So he doesn’t have to tell her. So he won’t tell her.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t mean to say it, but he says it anyway. “It’s happened before.”

The one with the black hair nods. She doesn’t look angry. She doesn’t look like anything. Her face is neutral. “Can you tell me about the other times?” she asks.

He takes a deep breath. He doesn’t have to tell her. “I was asleep,” he says. “In a room. Cor left me in a room and I went to sleep. And when I woke up I was inside the wall.”

The one with the black hair frowns slightly, but then her neutral expression comes back. “Inside the wall?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “There was a passage inside the wall. Noctis showed it to me. And then I woke up and I was inside it.”

“I see,” the one with the black hair says. “Can you tell me what you were doing before you fell asleep?”

So he tells her. He tells her about falling asleep and waking up inside the wall. And then he tells her about falling asleep and waking up on the floor with the window open. And he tells her about waking up wearing the glasses with his clothes soaked and blood on his foot. He keeps talking and talking, even though he doesn’t have to tell her, even though he thinks he shouldn’t tell her because if he tells her then she’ll know he’s malfunctioning and then maybe it won’t matter any more that she said she wouldn’t tell anyone. Maybe she’ll realise he’s not really a person, and even though he doesn’t really think he is a person, the idea that she might stop thinking it makes his chest hurt. It doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense. But he tells her anyway.

When he’s finished telling her everything he can remember about waking up in the wrong place, he stops talking. He feels – nothing. He doesn’t even feel scared. He just feels tired. And he waits to see what she’ll do.

The one with the black hair is writing. She writes for a few more seconds after he’s stopped talking. Then she stops writing. She looks at her notes. She taps the end of her pen against her lips. Then she looks up at him.

“That’s everything you remember?” she says.

“Yes,” he says. He waits. She doesn’t look angry.

The one with the black hair nods. “Hm,” she says. “Well, it seems there’s something of a problem here.”

Yes, there’s a problem. He’s malfunctioning. He’s in need of correction. He’s been in need of correction for a long time. He’s not a person. He’s an MT unit, and he’s malfunctioning.

The one with the black hair puts her notes to one side. She leans her elbows on her knees and puts her chin in one hand, staring at him. “You’ve known about this problem for some time,” she says. “What do you think is causing it?”

He stares at her. If he knew what was causing it, he would have stopped it a long time ago. He would have stopped it. “I’m malfunctioning,” he says. He opens his mouth to say that he’s in need of correction, but then he closes it again. Even after all this, he doesn’t want to be corrected. Maybe that’s part of the malfunction.

The one with the black hair doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Do you have any idea what the cause of the malfunction is?” she says at last. “Perhaps you’ve suffered something similar before, or you’ve seen other MT units malfunction in similar ways?”

Slowly, he shakes his head. He’s seen MT units malfunction in all kinds of ways, but never like this.

“Are there any other things you’re experiencing that you think could be malfunctions?” she asks.

He thinks. It’s hard to think about the question, because he can’t stop thinking about how the one with the black hair doesn’t seem to be angry. He can’t stop wondering whether she’s going to tell Cor. But he needs to answer the question. He needs to make sure he gets it right.

“I – hallucinate when I’m sleeping,” he says.

“You dream? Or something different?” the one with the black hair says.

“I – I dream,” he says.

“And you didn’t dream before?” the one with the black hair asks.

He shakes his head. “MT units don’t dream,” he says. “And – things taste different now. And smell different. Better than they did before. And my eyes have stopped functioning correctly. And I keep – feeling things, all kinds of things. I didn’t feel them before. And sometimes I do things that – I know I shouldn’t do, but I do them anyway.” He feels like there’s a weight in his stomach. It’s a lot, when he lists it all at once. “I’m malfunctioning,” he whispers. His throat is burning.

The one with the black hair doesn’t write anything down. She just looks at him. And then – and then he’s crying. He doesn’t want to cry, but he’s crying anyway. He wants to stop, but he can’t. Maybe it’s another malfunction.

The one with the black hair stands up. “Prompto,” she says, “I would like to try and help you feel better. Would it help if I hugged you?”

He blinks up at her. She looks blurry through the tears. “Cor says no-one’s supposed to touch me,” he whispers.

The one with the black hair nods and sits down again. She smoothes her skirt over her knees. “Maybe I could get you some water?” she asks.

He swallows and nods. He tries to stop crying. A few moments later, a glass of water appears in front of him. He takes it and drinks some. It feels cool in his throat. It does make him feel better.

“Would you prefer to be alone?” the one with the black hair asks. “Or I could call Cor?”

He shakes his head quickly. Cor will want to know why he’s crying, and he doesn’t – he doesn’t want Cor to know about the malfunctions. He knows about some of them already, but he doesn’t want Cor to know about the other times he’s woken up in the wrong place. The one with the black hair already knows, and she’s not angry. She offered to hug him. It would have been good, he thinks, except Cor said no-one’s allowed to touch him. But it’s good that the one with the black hair is there. She’s not angry with him. And she’s helped him a lot before. Even though he knows that he’s malfunctioning and that no-one here knows how to fix an MT unit, he can’t help hoping maybe she can help him now, as well.

By the time he’s finished the water, he’s not crying any more. He feels tired. But he feels – less bad. The one with the black hair isn’t angry with him. She’s just there. She’s waiting, not asking any more questions. And the water made him feel better.

It’s quiet for a moment. Then the one with the black hair folds her hands over her knees.

“I would like to try and help you,” she says.

He nods so fast it makes him a little dizzy. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, please.”

The one with the black hair smiles a little. “Of course,” she says. “I’ll do everything I can, although I must be clear that I don’t know exactly how your systems function.”

He knows that. He knows she doesn’t know about MT units. But she knows so much about him anyway. He thinks she must be able to help him. He wants her to help him.

The one with the black hair picks up her notes. “Most of the things you listed as malfunctions don’t seem particularly unpleasant,” she says. “Things tasting and smelling better – dreams – do you experience them as unpleasant?”

He stares at her. He’s not sure why the question’s relevant. “They’re malfunctions,” he says.

“But do they cause you pain or make you unhappy?” she asks.

The question doesn’t make sense. But he thinks about it anyway. Often the one with the black hair says a number of things that don’t seem to make sense but then somehow when they all fit together things become clear. “Most of the dreams are bad,” he says. “And – my vision doesn’t function correctly. I can’t see very much any more.”

“Even with the glasses?” the one with the black hair says.

He shakes his head. “The glasses make it less blurry, but I can’t sharpen my vision or engage night mode or infrared,” he says.

The one with the black hair looks briefly surprised, then neutral. “I can see where that would be a loss,” she says. “What about the taste and smell?”

He considers. “No, that’s not unpleasant,” he says. “The food that Ignis makes tastes very good.”

The one with the black hair smiles. “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that,” she says. “I’ll have to see if I can get a dinner invitation.” He’s not sure exactly what she means, but she keeps talking. “I understand that it’s strange for you for your taste and smell to be so different. But if it’s not causing you any distress, then I wonder if it would be more useful to think of it as functioning differently rather than malfunctioning.”

He stares at her. “MT units can’t function differently,” he says. “All MT units function the same way.”

“Do they?” she says. “Are all MT units exactly identical?”

“Yes,” he says. But then he thinks – no. Because he’s been corrected before for being too curious, and other MT units in his squadron didn’t get corrected, because they weren’t too curious. But that was a malfunction, so – But then he performs better than average in long-range weapons, and poorer than average in short-range assault, and that implies that other MT units performed differently to him. So they must function differently. At least a little differently. He hadn’t thought about it before.

“MT units are all supposed to function the same way,” he says. But – he’s not sure if that’s right. Some MT units are sent to specialise in some aspects of assault and other in other aspects. He’s never thought about it before.

“How interesting,” the one with the black hair says. “In our culture, we think it’s important for everyone to be allowed to function in the way that best suits them, provided they’re not hurting anyone else.”

“Humans all function differently?” he asks. He’d thought humans all functioned the same way, like MT units. Like he thinks MT units are supposed to.

“In broad strokes, people all function the same way, but the details of our functioning differ from person to person,” the one with the black hair says. “For example, do you think Cor and Ignis react to things in the same way?”

No. He knows Cor and Ignis react differently to things. When he was in the facility, he thought all humans were the same. All the humans he saw seemed the same – they dressed the same and behaved in the same way, and even though their features differed slightly, it wasn’t enough to be noteworthy. But he remembers when he first went outside in Cor’s car, and he saw all the people on the streets. How they were all different shapes and sizes, and had different voices, and wore different clothes, and behaved in different ways. He remembers how surprised he was. He’s used to it now. He’d almost forgotten that he used to think all humans functioned the same way. But no: it’s clear that humans are different from each other.

“Some of the things you’ve described to me seem more like harmless differences between different individuals than malfunctions,” the one with the black hair says. “But even though people function in all kinds of different ways, sometimes they function in ways that cause them distress or pain. Part of my job is to try and help people whose function is causing them distress – to try and assist them to reorient themselves so that they’re able to function more successfully.”

He stares at her. “Oh,” he says. Then, “I thought your job was to explain things.”

She smiles, then puts her hand over her mouth for a moment. “That’s part of my job, too,” she says. “Sometimes explaining things to people can help them feel less distress.”

“Oh,” he says. Yes, that makes sense. He feels less distress when she explains things to him. Then he thinks about what she said. That her job is to help people function more successfully. To correct malfunctions. But she hasn’t corrected him. “How do you–” He tries to remember the words she used. “–correct the orientation?”

“How do I help people to function more successfully?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. That sounds better.

“In many different ways,” she says. “In your case, the first thing we’ll need to do is understand what’s causing the problem in the first place.” She pauses and looks at him. “I mean the problem of sleepwalking. I think that’s the most urgent problem, but please tell me if you disagree.”

He shakes his head. Sleepwalking. There’s a word for moving around while you’re asleep. That means humans must do it sometimes. That makes him feel – relieved and worried at the same time.

“I know that Cor and the King’s Shield have a number of ideas about what might be the cause,” the one with the black hair says. “I’m afraid I’m not qualified to deal with anything related to your hardware, your programming or your physical health. But it’s possible the problem may be psychological, in which case I may be able to help. So the first thing we need to do is find out which of these is the case.”

“Oh,” he says. He feels – suddenly he feels like maybe she really can help. She sounds like she knows how to help. She sounds sure of herself.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says. She’s looking at her notes. “You took the plants and the chocobo bag with you both times while you were lost. Did you ever take anything with you before?”

“I don’t think so,” he says. He thinks harder. “I didn’t always have the chocobo bag,” he says.

She nods. “I can imagine it would have been difficult to climb out of the window carrying the plants in your arms,” she says.

“Yes, it would have been difficult,” he says. “Especially at Cor’s apartment.” Cor’s apartment is a long way above the ground.

“Hm,” the one with the black hair says again. “This was the first night you slept at your new home, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” he says. He hasn’t been back to the house by the park. He wonders if he’s not going to go there again now.

“How high up is your bedroom window at your new house?” the one with the black hair asks.

He makes an estimate. “Three point five metres,” he says.

The one with the black hair stares at him, eyes slightly narrowed, tapping her pen against her lips. Then she straightens up a little. “I wonder if–” she says, then stops. She writes something down. Then she looks up at him again and shakes her head slightly. “Prompto, I think I need a little time to think about how we might proceed,” she says. “And of course I will need to confer with your doctor and Cor.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” How we might proceed. So she thinks she might be able to help him. She thinks she can help him.

“I’d like to speak to you again tomorrow,” she says. “In the meantime, I’d like you to complete your assignment. Do you think you’ll have enough time?”

He looks at the paper on the table. He’d almost forgotten about it with everything she’s said since then. “Yes,” he says.

The one with the black hair nods. “In that case, unless there’s anything else you wanted to ask, I think we can close this session,” she says. “I’m so happy to have seen you and to know that you’re safely home.”

Home. Home is the house by the park. Isn’t it? Or is this home now? He looks around the room. It’s perfectly pleasant. But he likes the house by the park more.

The one with the black hair stands up and leaves. Outside the door, he hears her talking quietly. Then Cor comes in followed by a silent one.

“Hey, kid,” Cor says. “That was OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He has a lot of things to think about. He’s not sure which thing to think about first.

“The Doc said she thought you needed some food,” Cor says. “I’m gonna call Ignis and get him to bring something, OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He sits on the couch and looks at the paper while Cor speaks to Ignis. There’s a lot of things to think about. The one with the black hair wasn’t angry about the malfunctioning. She said – the humans sometimes malfunction, too. And that she can help correct the malfunctioning. But he doesn’t think that humans get corrected the way MT units get corrected.

No, she didn’t say humans. She said people.

Cor sits down next to him and rubs his head. “OK, kid, room service on the way,” he says.

He looks at Cor. He thinks about what the one with the black hair said. “Do you think I’m a person?” he asks.

Cor turns and stares at him. He looks stunned. “Uh, what?” he says. “Of course you’re a person.”

He turns back to look at the couch, where the one with the black hair was sitting before. “Oh,” he says. Yes: Cor thinks he’s a person. The one with the black hair thinks so, too. “Does Ignis think I’m a person?” he asks.

“Yeah, he thinks you’re a person,” Cor says. He says it loudly. “Because you are a person. Everyone thinks that, kid – everyone who isn’t an idiot.”

“Oh,” he says again. If Cor, Ignis, and the one with the black hair all think he’s a person, then maybe–

“Where’s all this coming from?” Cor asks. “Has someone been saying something to you?”

He frowns at Cor. “Lots of people say things to me,” he says.

Cor stares at him. Then he suddenly smiles.

“Yeah, good point,” he says. He puts his arm round his shoulders and pulls him in for a moment, then lets him go. “You’re a person, OK?” he says. “Don’t forget it.”

He feels the warmth where Cor was holding him, how solid it felt.

He won’t forget it.

Chapter 46

Notes:

Phew, it's been a busy month! But I have finally had time to come back to this, and first I want to thank all of you for the lovely comments you left on the last chapter! I do love how much you guys seem to enjoy therapy ;) And to answer a frequent question, no, I am not a therapist and have no psychological training of any kind. So take everything with a big grain of salt!

And I come bearing gifts! Neonbirds made this lovely picture of Prompto and his plants. I really like the composition here, and Prompto looks very thoughtful, which seems highly appropriate ;) Please go and give love to the artist!

ETA: And Eleke also made a beautiful picture of Prompto contemplating his plants! Clearly today is "Prompto ♥ plants" day! (Wait, that's every day. Never mind.) Anyway, if you want to see Prompto adorably bonding with his cactus, please click the link and give love to the artist :D

Chapter Text

He thinks.

It’s good. He has a lot of things to think about. But also – there’s a lot of time. Ignis comes with food, and he eats the food, and then Ignis goes away, and then there’s time. There’s a lot of time. Cor is in the room most of the time, but he doesn’t say very much. One of the silent ones brings some of the books from the house by the park, and the music player, and he listens to the music and looks out of the window, and he thinks. There isn’t anything else to do. There’s just a lot of time.

He thinks about what the one with the black hair said. That she’s entirely convinced that he’s a person. Entirely convinced, that’s what she said. Convinced means she’s considered evidence. She doesn’t just think it because he looks like a person when his ports are covered and he’s wearing the fake eyes. She thinks it because she’s considered evidence. What evidence has she considered? He’s an MT unit. That’s not disputed. So that must mean she thinks it’s possible to be an MT unit and a person at the same time. She said something like that before, but it was different. She asked if it was possible to be an MT unit and a human at the same time. But this is different. MT units and humans are different, but can an MT unit be a person?

The one with the black hair thinks so. She’s entirely convinced. And Cor thinks so, too. He realises he can’t evaluate it for himself because he doesn’t have enough information about the parameters. He listens to the music and looks out of the window. He thinks about the parameters.

He thinks he should ask the one with the black hair. Or Ignis. But neither of them is there. Only Cor’s there, and a silent one he doesn’t know. He waits to see if Ignis will come. But Ignis doesn’t come. And there’s time. There’s a lot of time. He can’t make any progress in his thinking. He needs more information.

He turns off the music player.

“What are the parameters for being a person?” he asks Cor.

Cor looks up from his computer. He stares at him. “Huh?” he says.

“What are the parameters for being a person?” he asks again.

Cor’s expression doesn’t change. “Uh,” he says. “Shit. That’s – a tough question, kid.”

“Oh,” he says. He waits to see if Cor will produce an answer.

Cor closes his computer. He sits back on the couch. Then he sits forward. He rubs his hand over his head. “I don’t know if I’m the right person–” he starts, then glances around the room. “Shit,” he mutters. “OK, here goes. Listen – a person – when you think and feel, that makes you a person. When you can think for yourself, not just follow instructions like a computer. And when you feel – when you have emotions. That’s a person. So – you’re a person. Like I said before.”

He considers this. “What about birds?” he says.

Cor frowns. “What about birds?” he asks.

“Do birds think and feel?” he asks. Maybe the definition of person includes many more organisms than he thought. It’s an interesting idea.

“Uh, no,” Cor says. He shakes his head. “I mean – I don’t know. I’m gonna say no. I don’t think they think, anyway. Not like we do.”

“Oh,” he says. So birds aren’t people, because they don’t think. But they’re not machines, either. He thinks about MT units. MT units aren’t supposed to have emotions. They’re supposed to follow instructions. So they’re not people, either. They don’t think, and they don’t feel. They’re not supposed to. So it’s the fact that he’s malfunctioning that makes Cor think he’s a person. Or – is it? He feels a lot more emotions now than he did when he was in the facility, but he did feel things there. He felt scared a lot, and that’s an emotion. And sometimes he thought about things, even when he wasn’t supposed to. Sometimes he thought about things so much that he was corrected, because he wasn’t supposed to think about things. But he worked hard to stop. To improve, so that he could move to the next level. So– So–

So maybe MT units are people until they learn how not to be people.

He stares at Cor. Cor frowns. “You OK, kid?” he asks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He doesn’t know what a ghost is. “Are MT units people?” he asks.

Cor’s mouth tightens. “I don’t know,” he says.

“But you think I’m a person,” he says.

“I don’t think it, I know it,” Cor says.

“But I’m an MT unit,” he says.

Cor opens his mouth, then closes it again. He looks angry. “You’re not,” he says at last. “That’s not what you are.”

He stares at Cor. He is an MT unit. He doesn’t understand why Cor would say he’s not. It’s clear. He’s an MT unit.

“Listen,” Cor says. “Listen. You – you were born human. They messed with you – they messed you up, put those wires in you and messed with your head. But you’re still a person. You’re not – there yet. You’re not an MT yet. I don’t know if – when you got there, if there would have been anything left of you. If there would have been a person left. But you, right now, you’re still a person. Whatever they told you, those – assholes, whatever they told you, it was all bullshit to make you think you weren’t human. But you are human. All right, kid? You’re a person. You’re not a robot, you’re not a thing. They were trying to make you into that, but they didn’t. So I don’t know about MTs, but I know about you. I know about you.”

“MT units aren’t robots,” he says. He’s not sure Cor knows very much about MT units at all.

Cor looks at him. He looks at him and he doesn’t say anything. Then he closes his eyes and rubs his hand over his face.

“Kid,” he says. “This stuff – all this stuff, what it means to be a person, all that – it’s complicated. There are guys who spend their whole lives arguing with each other about it. But you’re a person, OK? There’s nothing to even discuss.”

He sits back. He thinks there are things to discuss. Like birds, and how they can choose when to fly and when to hop forwards and backwards if they can’t think. Do they have instructions? He doesn’t think it would be efficient for anyone to issue instructions for birds, considering their lack of combat capabilities. And fish. And plants make their own tissues out of sunlight. How do they know to do that if they can’t think? So he thinks that Cor’s description of the parameters may be inadequate. But it’s clear that Cor is convinced that he’s a person. Entirely convinced. There’s nothing to even discuss.

But Cor doesn’t know very much about MT units. Cor said he was born human. But he wasn’t born human. He wasn’t born at all. He was grown. He’s not sure how humans are born, but he knows that MT units aren’t born. So Cor’s wrong about that. And Cor says he’s human now, and that he’s not an MT unit, so Cor’s wrong about that, too. He wonders what else Cor’s wrong about. Whether he’s wrong about birds. But he thinks – he thinks maybe Cor is just using words in a different way. Because he thinks maybe MT units start off as people and learn to not be people. They get better at following instructions and not having emotions, until they become perfect. It makes sense. It fits with his malfunctions and the way he’s changed since he came here. He spent his life trying to improve, to become perfect, but since he came here he’s become less and less perfect. So maybe he’s become more and more of a person.

He swallows. So maybe he can do two things: he can become a perfect MT unit, or he can become a person. He knows he should want to become a perfect MT unit. But he wants – but he wants–

His head hurts. He looks out of the window. He’s been sitting for a long time. Nothing’s happened. It’s good – there’s a lot of time to think. Except his head hurts and he doesn’t want to think any more. It’s difficult. It’s too difficult.

There’s a knock at the door. Cor looks up. “Yeah?” he calls.

The door opens. It’s the one with the brown hair. She’s carrying an object. It’s a strange object. It’s an irregular shape. Like two spheroids attached together, one larger and one smaller, and it’s covered in yellow hair. It’s large – he estimates it’s about point seven of a metre in length and very round. It looks very round and soft.

“Sir,” the one with the brown hair says. Then she looks at him and smiles. “Arcis asked me to bring this for Prompto.”

Cor looks at her and frowns. “Arcis?” he says.

“He thought he might like it,” the one with the brown hair says. “Since he likes chocobos.”

Cor frowns for a moment longer, then stands up and crosses the room. He holds out his hand and the one with the brown hair gives him the strange object. Cor stands for a moment staring at it. Then he grunts.

“OK,” he says. “Tell Arcis he got it.”

The one with the brown hair stands there for a moment longer. “Sir, about Arcis,” she says.

“I got it, Monica,” Cor says.

The one with the brown hair straightens up. “Yes, sir,” she says. Then she leaves.

Cor stands still for a moment, looking at the strange object. Then he turns to him.

“You want this?” he asks.

He looks at the object. He doesn’t know what it is. It looks very soft and yellow. It reminds him of the bag. Then he remembers that the one with the brown hair mentioned chocobos. So it’s like the bag. It has something to do with the bag.

“I have a chocobo bag,” he says. He knows Cor already knows that, but he wants to make sure. He doesn’t know why he would need a second similar object. Is it a bag as well? He can’t see any evidence for an opening, but perhaps it is. But he already has a chocobo bag. So it doesn’t make sense for him to have another one. Even though it looks very soft.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “You like chocobos, huh?”

He likes the bag, even though its design is strange and seems inefficient. “Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. He grips the object with both hands and stares at it. “Arcis,” he mutters. Then he turns and holds it out.

“Go nuts,” he says.

The sentence has no meaning that he can extract. But Cor wants him to take the object, so he does. His fingers sink into it. It’s soft. It’s very soft. And very yellow. And he sees now that the smaller spheroid has a soft orange protruberance and two round glass studs attached to it, like the spheroidal attachment to the chocobo bag. So this is a similar class of object. And it’s very soft.

“What should I do with it?” he asks.

“Hell if I know, kid,” Cor says.

He looks up at Cor. Cor’s frowning. But after a moment, he sighs and his expression smooths out. He comes and sits next to him on the couch.

“OK, all right,” he says. “Here. It’s a toy.” He takes the object. “You’re supposed to hug it.” He demonstrates, putting his arms around the object and squeezing it. The silent one by the door makes a quiet noise that stops abruptly when Cor glances over at him.

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t know what toy means, but he knows what hug means.

Cor holds the object out. “Try it,” he says.

He takes the object – the toy – and puts his arms around it. He squeezes.

It’s very soft. His vision is filled with yellow. The hair feels soft on his face. He presses his face further into the toy. It’s so soft.

“Yeah, you got it,” Cor says. He can’t see him – he can only see the yellow of the toy – but he sounds like he’s smiling. “Matches your hair.”

He hugs the toy for a few more seconds. Then he stops. But he still holds it in his hands. He squeezes it to feel how soft it is. He looks at Cor.

“What’s the purpose of hugging the toy?” he asks.

Cor shrugs. “It makes you feel good. It’s, uh – comforting, I guess.”

“Oh,” he says. He looks at the toy. It seems odd that an object should exist whose sole purpose is to make someone feel good. And that Cor would give it to him. But – it’s not odd. Cor wants him to feel good, he reminds himself. Cor’s said that before. And it does feel good. It feels soft. Experimentally, he hugs it again. It still feels good.

Cor’s smiling at him. “Should have got you one of those a while back, I guess,” he says. “Maybe it’ll help with the bad dreams.”

He’s not sure how the toy is related to the bad dreams. But something else occurs to him before he can ask. The one with the brown hair said Arcis brought the toy and wanted to give it to him. Arcis is the night-time silent one. So it was the night-time silent one who wanted him to feel good.

“Why didn’t he bring it himself?” he asks.

“Huh?” Cor says. “Who?”

“The night-time silent one,” he says.

Cor looks blank. “Who?” he says again.

Yes. He should use the night-time silent one’s name. Arcis. Arcis wanted him to feel good, so he gave him the toy. Arcis was scared when he was lost. Does he feel affection for Arcis?

Yes, he thinks he feels affection for Arcis.

“Arcis,” he says. “He didn’t bring it himself.”

Cor’s face darkens. “Arcis isn’t on your detail any more,” he says.

Yes. He remembers that Cor is angry with Arcis because Arcis was on duty when he got lost. But he still doesn’t know whether he went out through the door or the window.

“Did I go out through the window?” he asks.

“What?” Cor says. “Go out where?”

“When I got lost,” he says. “Did I go out through the door or the window?”

Cor stares at him for a moment. “The window,” he says at last.

“Oh,” he says.

Cor’s still looking at him. “Why’d you ask that?” he asks.

“I wanted to know if the – if Arcis saw me go out,” he says. “Because if he saw me and didn’t stop me then he would have performed inadequately.”

Cor raises his eyebrows. “He performed inadequately anyway, kid,” he says. “He let you go. Anything could have happened to you out there.” His face darkens further. “Some of the things that did happen–” he starts, and then stops and puts an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close in to his side.

“Oh,” he says. Cor’s arm feels warm. He puts the toy under his other arm and squeezes it. “Was Arcis supposed to know what I was doing inside the room?” He wonders if there was a camera or other way in which Arcis was supposed to be watching.

Cor frowns at him, but doesn’t say anything. He squeezes the toy under his arm. He waits to see what Cor’s answer will be.

“You think I’m being unreasonable,” Cor says at last.

It’s not what he expected. “No,” he says. He would never think Cor is unreasonable. Cor is his commanding officer. Or – Cor is Cor.

Cor sighs. “Maybe you’re right,” he says. “Just – kid, when we opened the door and you were gone–” He tightens his arm around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to leave. I wanted to come back but I couldn’t find the way.”

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. “I know that, kid.”

He sits and thinks about how warm Cor’s arm feels around his shoulders. He thinks about how cold he felt when he was outside on his own. He thinks about Arcis.

“What is Arcis’ function?” he asks.

Cor frowns at him. “He’s a guard,” he says. “He’s a Crownsguard.”

“Is he supposed to prevent me from going outside?” he asks. He thinks it would be inefficient to have Arcis stationed in the hall if that were the case.

“No, he’s–” Cor starts, then stops. He looks at him in silence for a moment. Then he closes his eyes briefly. “His orders were to prevent you from harming me,” he says.

He considers this. It doesn’t make sense: Cor’s his commanding officer. And Cor’s Cor. He wouldn’t harm Cor. He couldn’t harm Cor. But even though it doesn’t make sense it at least clarifies Arcis’ function.

“I didn’t harm you,” he says. “So Arcis performed adequately.” He doesn’t understand why Cor is so angry with Arcis when he followed orders and performed adequately.

Cor stares at him. “You like Arcis, huh?” he says after a long pause.

“I feel affection for him,” he says. He thinks it’s true, and the one with the black hair said Noctis was wrong about not talking about affection.

Cor’s mouth twitches. He looks at the toy. Then he looks at him.

“OK,” he says. “I got the message.”

He’s not sure what message Cor got. Maybe that he feels affection for Arcis. It would make sense if Cor got that message, since he said it without any ambiguity. The one with the black hair said it was good to talk about feeling affection. So it’s good. He talked about it and Cor got the message.

Cor lets go of him then and stands up. “Listen,” he says, “I gotta go out for a while. But I’m coming back, OK? I’ll be back in–” He looks at his watch. “–an hour and a half. If you need anything – if you need me – just tell Ludens and he’ll call me, OK?”

Cor gestures at the silent one. The silent one straightens up a little.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t want Cor to leave. But Cor says he needs to leave. He waits. But Cor just stands there, looking at him.

“You gonna be all right, kid?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. He thinks about being alone in the room. He doesn’t want Cor to leave.

Cor sighs, then nods. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he says. He reaches out and rubs his head. Then he leaves.

Then it’s quiet. He sits and looks at the toy for a while. Then he looks out of the window. He spends some time doing his assignment for the one with the black hair. Then he looks out of the window again. He can’t see anything except the sky. It’s grey and flat-looking. It’s interesting. But after a while he feels – like he doesn’t want to look at it any more. But he can’t think of anything else to do. He wishes Cor was there. Or Noctis or Ignis. But none of them are there. There’s only the silent one he doesn’t know. He thinks he could look at one of the books. But he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to do anything. It’s a strange feeling.

He sits. The strange feeling gets worse. He picks up Royal Lucian Dictionary and looks at it, but even though he tries to read the words, none of the information seems to be recorded in his mind. He puts the book down again. He looks out of the window. He thinks about the house by the park. If he was in the house by the park, he could look out of the window and see the park. He thinks that would be better. But he isn’t there. He doesn’t know when he’s going to go there. The one with the black hair said he was home. He thought home was the house by the park. But he was here, in this room, when she said it. So maybe he won’t go to the house by the park any more. Maybe he’ll stay here, now, with the silent one he doesn’t know. Maybe he’s not permitted to go anywhere else any more because he disobeyed orders and got lost. The thought makes something in his chest hurt. He shouldn’t have disobeyed orders. But he didn’t mean to. He didn’t want to. He wanted to obey orders and stay in the house by the park. His chest hurts.

The door opens. It’s Cor. He stands up. He feels like some of the tightness in him loosens. It’s good. Cor’s here. It’s better when Cor’s here. He wishes Cor wouldn’t go away. Or that Cor would take him with him when he goes. But now Cor’s back, so it’s better.

“Sorry I took so long–” Cor says, then pauses, standing in the doorway. “Kid? You OK?”

“Yes,” he says. His voice cracks. He swallows. Everything’s all right now, because Cor’s here.

Cor closes the door behind him. He frowns. “OK,” he says. He looks at the silent one. The silent one shrugs.

“Nothing happened,” he says. “He just sat there the whole time.”

Cor comes and sits down on the couch opposite. He leans forward with his elbows on his knees. He looks at him. He’s frowning, but he doesn’t look angry. He doesn’t say anything. After a while, he sighs and bows his head.

“I’m sorry about all this,” he says. “I know it’s no fun for you.”

He doesn’t answer. He isn’t sure exactly what Cor’s referring to, but he’s tired of asking questions. He feels very tired.

Cor sits with his head bowed for a little while. Then he sighs again and sits up. He looks tired, too.

“OK, food and bed,” he says. “You look like you’re about to pass out on the couch.”

“Yes,” he says. It’s true. He feels dizzy and disconnected, like he’s floating. He thinks maybe he could pass out. So he eats the food that Cor gives him and then he lies in the bed. Cor sits on the chair next to the bed. There’s no other bed that Cor can sleep in. He wants to ask Cor about it. But he doesn’t want Cor to realise there’s no bed and go somewhere else. He doesn’t want Cor to leave him on his own.

“Sleep, kid,” Cor says. “I’ll be here.”

Yes. Cor will be there.

He sleeps.

~

He’s in a cage. It’s very small. He’s standing, but there isn’t room for him to stand properly, so he has to hunch over. But there isn’t room for him to sit, either. There isn’t room for him to turn around. His vision is blurry: he’s not wearing the glasses. He can’t see whether they’re nearby. He can’t see anything. Everything is grey and black and blurry, and however he moves, he feels the bars of the cage.

“It’s your fault, anyway,” says a voice. It’s an MT unit. The MT unit is standing outside the cage. “It’s all your fault.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Not sorry enough,” the MT unit says. “You should have just got out of the way.”

“I don’t understand,” he says. His back hurts. All of his body hurts. It hurts to stand the way he’s standing, but he can’t move. He doesn’t know how long he’s been in the cage. But he thinks maybe he’ll be in the cage forever now.

“You don’t understand anything,” the MT unit says. “You’re just a stupid MT.”

He swallows. “You’re an MT unit, too,” he says.

The MT unit draws a gun. It pushes the barrel through the bars until it presses against his temple. “Don’t call me that,” the MT unit says.

“Hey,” says another voice. It’s Cor. He’s standing outside the cage. Then he reaches through the bars he grips his shoulder. “Hey, kid. Wake up. Wake up.”

He opens his eyes. He’s lying on his back. Cor is leaning over him. Cor is holding his shoulder. His face is wet. His throat is burning.

“OK?” Cor says. His grip tightens on his shoulder. “You awake?”

He tries to say yes but it comes out as a hiccuping noise. Immediately, Cor leans down and wraps his arms around him, pulling him upright.

“OK,” Cor says. “You’re OK. Arcis, water.”

He presses his face into Cor’s chest. Yes. It was a dream. Just a dream. It didn’t mean anything. Cor feels warm. He can hear Cor’s heart beating. This is real and the dream wasn’t real. He’s not in a cage. He’s in a soft bed. This is real. He’s warm. Cor’s warm. It’s real.

“Here,” says someone else beside him. It’s the night-time silent one. Arcis. He’s glad it’s Arcis and not another silent one. He’s glad Arcis has come back.

“Water,” Cor says. He lets go of him, but he keeps a hand on his shoulder. He holds out a glass of water.

He takes the water and drinks some. It feels cold and smooth in his throat. It makes him feel better. Not completely better, but partially better.

“Pretty bad, huh?” Cor says.

He drinks the rest of the water. He feels disoriented. But Cor’s hand is on his shoulder, holding him in place. He knows where Cor is.

“You, uh– You want to talk about it?” Cor asks.

“No,” he whispers. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to think about it. He wants to forget it ever happened. But he can’t, because it’s the middle of the night and he’s awake and Cor’s awake and his stomach feels sour and painful.

“Hey,” Arcis says then. He’s holding out the yellow object. The toy. “A chocobo might help?”

Cor glances at Arcis and Arcis half-lowers the toy. The chocobo. But he already started reaching for it before Cor looked at Arcis. So now he’s not sure. Maybe Cor doesn’t want him to take the chocobo.

Cor looks at him, then looks at Arcis again. “Go ahead,” he says. “He likes it.”

Arcis steps forward and holds out the chocobo. He takes it. It feels soft. He presses it against his chest. Arcis is right: it does help. Even though it’s just a soft yellow hairy object with no clear function. For some reason it helps.

“Thank you,” he says.

Cor clears his throat. “Good thinking, Arcis,” he says.

Arcis stands up a little straighter. “Thank you, sir,” he says.

Cor nods. “Now give me a couple of minutes, would you?”

Arcis pauses. “Sir, my orders–” he starts.

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. “Look, you know and I know the kid’s not gonna do anything. Right?”

There’s a longer pause. “Sir, last time–” Arcis says.

“Last time he was on his own, one floor up with a window that opened,” Cor says. “This time he’s with me and there’s no way he can get out.”

Arcis shifts in the darkness. There’s silence for a moment, then Cor makes an angry noise.

“Now would be a good time to start failing in your duty again, Crownsguard,” he says.

Arcis seems to stiffen. Then he salutes. “Yes, sir,” he says. His voice sounds strange, but it’s too dark to see his expression. Then he turns and leaves the room. Cor sits and stares at the door for a moment. Then he rubs a hand across his face and sighs.

“You want to talk about it, kid?” he says.

He feels tired and his stomach feels sour. He wishes he was in the house by the park. Everything was better when they were there.

“Yes,” he says. “Why are you angry with Arcis?”

Cor turns to look at him. “I didn’t mean about Arcis,” he says. “I meant about your dream. Dr Fortis said maybe it’d help if you talked about them.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t know why talking about the dream would help. But the one with the black hair said it might, and she knows a lot of things. And other things have helped that he didn’t think would, like squeezing the chocobo. “What should I talk about?”

Cor shrugs. “I don’t know, just – what was it about?”

He swallows. His stomach starts to ache. “I was in a cage,” he says. “It was small. Then an MT unit was there, and he told me it was my fault. Then he was going to shoot me, but I woke up.” He feels suddenly worse, like he did when he’d only just woken up. He squeezes the chocobo, but even though it helps a little, he still feels bad.

Cor sits in silence for a moment. “A cage, huh?” he says at last.

“Yes,” he says. “It was small.”

More silence. Cor sighs. “Fuck,” he mutters. Then he puts his arm round his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he says. “That sounds like a pretty shitty dream.”

“Yes,” he says. From contextual data, he thinks shitty must mean bad.

Cor nods. He doesn’t say anything. They both just sit.

“You feel better?” Cor says at last.

“No,” he says. He feels worse. He wishes Cor hadn’t asked him what the dream was about.

“Right,” Cor says. He rubs his hand over his head. “Guess I’m pretty bad at this.”

He’s not sure what the appropriate response is, so he doesn’t say anything. He just sits. Cor sits, too. Cor’s arm is still round his shoulders. That’s good. It feels heavy, but in a good way.

“But you know it’s just a dream, right?” Cor says. “It’s just your brain throwing weird shit at you because you’ve been having a hard time. I know how bad that stuff can feel, but it’s not – it’s not real. Your brain’s just being an asshole. It’s normal. It happens to a lot of people.”

“Does it happen to you?” he asks.

Cor laughs. “Bad dreams? Yeah, kid. All the time.”

He’s surprised. He didn’t realise Cor had bad dreams, too. “What are they about?” he asks.

Cor shifts a little beside him. “All kinds of things,” he says. “It’s not important. What I’m saying is, I know what it’s like when you can’t stop thinking about bad stuff. When you can’t get your brain to shut the hell up. I get that.”

He sits up a little straighter. He thought Cor was just talking about bad dreams, but now Cor’s talking about thinking. About not being able to stop thinking. He didn’t know that happened to humans as well. To Cor. It doesn’t make sense, that it would happen to Cor. But Cor just said it did.

“You can’t stop thinking?” he asks.

“Yeah, sometimes,” Cor says. “More, lately. It’s a pain in the ass.”

“What do you think about?” he asks.

“It’s not important,” Cor says. “I’m just saying – I get it, OK? I get that it’s hard. You understand me?”

“Yes,” he says. He does understand. Cor has bad dreams, too. Cor sometimes can’t stop thinking. He thinks it is important what Cor thinks about, but Cor says it’s not, so he must be wrong. But even knowing that it happens at all – it makes him feel – not better, not exactly. But – less bad. He doesn’t know why – it’s not good that Cor has the same problems, so it shouldn’t make him feel less bad. But it does.

Cor sighs. “Shit, kid,” he says. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I don’t know,” he says.

Cor shakes his head. “That was rhetorical,” he says, then pauses. “Guess you don’t know what that means, huh?”

“No,” he says. He wishes he knew what more words meant. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be able to read more of Royal Lucian Dictionary.

“Yeah,” Cor mutters. Then he shakes his head. “OK,” he says. “There’s no point you sitting up all night. Think you can sleep?”

He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to go back to sleep.

“I’ll be here,” Cor says.

“Will you be awake?” he asks.

“Yeah, kid,” Cor says. “I’ll be right here if you have another dream.”

He considers this. There’s no other bed in the room. There’s nowhere to sleep. And Cor’s been sitting in the chair all night. He sat in it last night, too. And Cor looks tired.

“Do humans need to sleep?” he asks. He thought they did, but he doesn’t know for sure.

Cor makes a surprised noise. “Uh, yeah,” he says. “Of course.”

“What happens when humans don’t sleep?” he asks.

“Uh,” Cor says. “I guess – they get cranky. And make stupid mistakes.”

“Oh,” he says.

There’s a pause.

“You think I’ve been cranky?” Cor says.

“I don’t know what cranky means,” he says.

“That figures,” Cor mutters. He shakes his head. “Listen, you don’t have to worry about me, OK? That’s not your job. It’s my job to worry about you.”

He didn’t know that was Cor’s job. It seems like a strange job. “What’s my job?” he asks. He needs to make sure he’s getting it right.

“It’s your job to try and get some sleep,” Cor says.

“Whose job is it to worry about you?” he asks.

Cor lets out a surprised-sounding breath. Then he pulls him closer into his side. “Listen, kid,” he says, “when you get to a certain point in life, you can take care of yourself. Then you don’t need anyone to worry about you any more.”

“Oh,” he says.

“Yeah, oh is right,” Cor says. “Now get some sleep, OK?”

He lies down and closes his eyes. Cor sits in the chair next to the bed. He listens to Cor breathing. He’s not supposed to worry about Cor. It’s not his job. His job is to try and get some sleep. So he tries. He tries really hard.

But he doesn’t succeed.

Chapter 47

Notes:

Hi guys! Thank you for all the well wishes -- I am fine, just been eaten by work for the last, um, four months or so. I don't know whether things are going to calm down a bit, but I hope so! But anyway, in the meantime, I bring you beautiful fanart! GR drew these two pictures of Prompto waking up outside in the rain, and they make my heart hurt ;___; The second one especially really conveys how lost and alone Prompto is in the big, menacing world. Poor kiddo!

Anyway, thanks so much for all your lovely comments, and I hope some of you are still out there and still interested in reading more! ♥

Chapter Text

In the morning, Cor doesn’t wake up. He lies in the bed staring at the ceiling. He didn’t sleep much in the night. But Cor fell asleep when it started to get light. He’s sleeping now, with his head nodding on his chest. He’s been sleeping for two hours. It’s light outside now. It’s past the time they would usually get up. But Cor’s asleep and he doesn’t want to wake him up. Cor hasn’t been sleeping, and humans need to sleep. So he doesn’t want to wake Cor up.

Arcis is standing by the door. Arcis knows he’s awake. Arcis smiled at him when he woke up. But Arcis hasn’t woken Cor up, either. He wonders why Arcis hasn’t woken Cor up. He wonders if it’s for the same reason that he hasn’t woken Cor up. Because Cor hasn’t been sleeping, and humans need to sleep. He wonders if Arcis is worried about Cor. Cor says it’s not his job to worry about him, so he’s trying not to. Cor says that it’s no-one’s job, so it can’t be Arcis’s job, either. But maybe Arcis is worrying anyway. Like he is. Maybe – maybe Arcis feels affection for Cor.

Cor is Arcis’s commanding officer. It’s not like with him, where it’s not clear – where Cor says he isn’t his commanding officer. Cor is definitely Arcis’s commanding officer. But even though Arcis behaves as a subordinate, sometimes he says things to Cor that would never be permitted for an MT unit to say to his commanding officer. And sometimes Cor talks to him like he’s forgotten that he’s his commanding officer. He doesn’t think it should be possible to feel affection for a commanding officer. But.

It’s all very strange.

He stares at the ceiling. He wonders what the ceiling is like in the house by the park. He slept there once, but he fell asleep quickly and when he woke up he was somewhere else. So he never lay in the bed there and stared at the ceiling. He wonders what it’s like. He wonders if they’ll go back there, or if they’re going to live here, now, in the room with the blue bed. If they’re going to live here, he thinks there should be another bed so Cor can sleep. He doesn’t want to live here, though. There’s no kitchen, and there’s no park. It doesn’t feel right.

There’s a quiet knock at the door and Cor starts awake, reaching out for him.

“You OK, kid?” he says. His voice sounds hoarse.

“Yes,” he says. He sits up. “Someone knocked on the door.”

“Huh?” Cor says. He looks at Arcis. Arcis is standing by the door.

“Day shift, sir,” Arcis says.

Cor coughs and rubs his head. “Huh?” he says. “It’s early.”

Arcis shifts his weight slightly. “It’s – uh, it’s time for the changeover, sir,” he says.

Cor stares at him. Then he glances at the clock and frowns.

“You didn’t wake me,” he says.

Arcis coughs. “No, sir,” he says. “I, uh – didn’t want to wake Prompto.”

It doesn’t make sense. He wasn’t asleep. Arcis knows he wasn’t asleep. So it doesn’t make sense. But he’s glad Arcis didn’t wake Cor.

The knock comes again. Cor sighs and scrubs his hands over his face.

“OK, fine,” he says. “Let them in. Kid, go take a shower.”

He goes to take a shower. When he comes back, Arcis has gone and the daytime silent one is there. Cor’s on the phone.

“No, absolutely not,” he’s saying. He sounds angry. “I can’t believe you would even suggest--” He stops, looking at him, then leaves the room. Just before he closes the door, he says, “Listen, Doc, there’s no way--”

Then the door closes and he can’t hear any more.

He sits on the couch and waits for Cor to come back. He wonders who Cor was talking to, and whyhe was angry. Cor calls the one with the black hair Doc. But he also calls the one with the white coat Doc. So he’s not sure. The one with the black hair is supposed to come back today to talk to him about touching. He’s completed the assignment. He hopes she comes soon.

Cor comes back in. He looks angry.

“I gotta go,” he says. “Lacertus, make sure the kid gets something to eat. There’s soup in the flask.”

“Yes, sir,” the daytime silent one says. Cor glares at him, then glares at his phone again. Then he shoves it in his pocket and sighs. He runs his hand through his hair. Then he comes over to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“I gotta go,” he says. “I’m sorry. There’s some things I need to – I’ll be back in – uh, two hours. OK?”

He nods. He doesn’t want Cor to go. But at least he knows when he’ll be coming back.

Cor leaves. He sits down on the couch. The silent one gives him the flask and he drinks some soup. Once he’s drunk the soup, he’s not sure what to do next. It’s like the day before. Nothing’s happening. It was good, yesterday, because he had lots of time to think. But he doesn’t want to think now. He doesn’t want to sit here and do nothing and think for another day. He wonders if every day is going to be like this now. If they live here now, then maybe every day is going to be like this. The couch is soft and comfortable, and he tries to concentrate on how soft it is. But he just feels – flat, and empty. Not empty like he felt in the house by the park, when everything was clean and full of light. Now he feels – he feels – flat. He can’t describe it. Describing feelings is hard.

If Arcis was here, maybe he would talk to him. Or they would play a game. Or if Noctis was here, they could play King’s Knight. Or Ignis could show him how to cook something. Except there’s no kitchen. If they live here now, and he’s not permitted to leave, then Ignis won’t be able to show him how to cook anything else. He thinks about chopping onions. His throat feels tight and itchy. He thinks about lying down on the couch and going back to sleep. Maybe that would make the time until Cor comes back go quicker. He thinks about shutting down some of his functions.

No. Cor said he’s not permitted to do that. So he can’t do that. So he just has to sit here.

He sits.

Eventually, Cor comes back. He comes back, sits down, and frowns at him.

“You OK, kid?” he asks.

He blinks. It takes a moment for him to remember how to respond. It’s strange. He didn’t shut down any of his systems, but somehow his systems are sluggish anyway.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor’s frown deepens. “What’d you do while I was gone?” he asks.

“I didn’t do anything,” he says. “I waited for you to come back.”

Cor stares at him. Then he sits back. He looks at the silent one.

“Can confirm,” the silent one says. “He just sat there.”

Cor sighs. He rubs his eyes. “Fuck,” he mutters. “This is--” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then he opens his eyes. “Listen, kid,” he says. “You understand why you’re stuck in here, right?”

“Because I disobeyed orders and left the house when I should have stayed,” he says. “And because I’m malfunctioning.”

“No, that’s not – uh, OK, yeah, that’s some of it,” Cor says. “It’s not about orders. But this thing with you sleepwalking – we gotta figure out what’s going on with that. Because we don’t know – you could have got really hurt. And we don’t know what’s causing it.”

He nods. He wonders how Cor is going to find out what’s causing the malfunction. At the facility, they would have corrected him, and if that didn’t work, they would have terminated him and dissected his brain. But he doesn’t think Cor will do that. He doesn’t know how Cor can find out what’s causing the malfunction without any diagnostic capabilities.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. He just sits there, looking at him. Then he mutters something and stands up.

“OK,” he says. “We’ll go and see the Doc.”

So they go. He hopes that they’re going to see the one with the black hair, but instead they go to where the one with the white coat lives, and she does the same tests she did the day before. She doesn’t look happy. Cor doesn’t look happy.

“Any change?” Cor says.

“Not that I can see,” the one with the white coat says. “Marshal – if it’s psychological, Dr Fortis--”

“I already talked to Fortis,” Cor says. He sounds angry.

“And?” the one with the white coat says.

“And nothing,” Cor says. “Do your job and let me worry about Fortis.”

“Excuse me?” the one with the white coat says. She sounds angry too, now. He swallows. Cor and the one with the white coat are glaring at each other. He doesn’t know what they’re angry about.

Then Cor blows out a loud breath. “Fuck,” he says. He runs a hand over his head. “Sorry, Doc. Guess I’m on edge.”

The one with the white coat is frowning. “You look exhausted,” she says. “How much sleep are you getting?”

“Enough,” Cor say. “Listen, Doc, this isn’t about me. Just – see if you can see anything in the brain scans, OK? We need to figure out what this is.”

The one with the white coat nods slowly. “You understand that if this isn’t a physical issue, I won’t be able to diagnose it?” she says. “Even if it is – we know so little about how Prompto’s systems work--”

“Yeah, I got it,” Cor says. “But – there’s got to be something. There’s got to be some way.” He looks at him. “We’ll find a way, OK, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t want to be in the room where the one with the white coat lives any more. But he doesn’t want to go back to the room with the blue bed, either. He wants to go to where Ignis lives, or to the house by the park. To somewhere else, where things feel less wrong. But he’s not permitted. He’s not permitted to go anywhere else.

They go back to the room with the blue bed.

He’s not permitted to go anywhere else.

~

Nothing else happens that day.

It’s strange. He thought the one with the black hair was going to come and see him. But she doesn’t come. The day before she said she was going to come. So he waits for her all day. But she doesn’t come. And nothing else happens. Cor sits and looks at his computer. Sometimes he goes out for a while, then comes back. The silent one stands by the door. And nothing happens.

Eventually, things stop happening in his mind, too. His thoughts slow down, and then seem to go away entirely. He doesn’t shut any of his systems down, and he doesn’t go to sleep, but somehow his mind seems to go into a state of suspension. He isn’t really aware of it until someone puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” says Cor. It’s Cor’s hand on his shoulder. Outside, the sky has changed. He looks at the clock. It’s late in the afternoon.

Cor’s frowning at him. “Did you--” he says. Then he sits down on the couch, facing him. “You remember I told you not to shut anything down, right?” he says.

He nods. “I didn’t shut anything down,” he says. But something changed anyway.

Cor stares at him. “You want to – read a book or something?” he asks. He looks at the books on the table. “Maybe we can get you a TV.”

He looks at Cor. He thinks about reading one of the books. The thought makes him tired.

Cor taps his fingertips against his knee. He’s still apart from the tapping. He’s staring at him. Then he suddenly stands up, making a noise like a growl.

“Fuck,” he says, and strides towards the door. He stops before he gets there, though, and stands still. Then he turns and strides back across the room to the window. He paces back and forth for a few minutes. Then he stops and pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes.

There’s a knock at the door. It makes him jump. He wonders if Cor will be angry with whoever’s at the door. He wonders if it’s the one with the black hair.

“What?” Cor snaps. It’s sharp enough that the silent one suddenly stands to attention.

The door opens. It’s Gladio. He’s carrying a bag and frowning.

“Sir?” he says. “Bad time?”

Cor sighs. “What is it, Crownsguard?” he asks.

Gladio stands in the doorway a moment. He looks uncertain. He’s never seen Gladio look like that before.

“Lit class,” Gladio says then, stepping forward and holding out his phone. “It’s in my calendar.”

Cor just stands and stares at him for a second. “Lit class,” he says.

Gladio’s back straightens. “You’re still doing school, right?” he says. He looks at him, then back at Cor.

Cor doesn’t say anything. Then he looks at him.

“You like lit class?” he asks.

“Lit class,” he says. He looks at Gladio. “It’s about texts that describe things that never happened?” He thinks he remembers the daytime silent one calling it lit class before.

Gladio mouth twitches. “Yeah, I guess,” he says. He looks at Cor. “We got a ways to go,” he says.

He doesn’t know if he likes lit class. It’s confusing. “I don’t understand the purpose of the texts,” he says to Cor.

Cor nods slowly. “Yeah,” he says. He glances at Gladio. “Yeah, you still need school. Good thinking, Crownsguard.”

Gladio’s shoulders go back and his chin goes up. “Thank you, sir,” he says.

For the first time all day, Cor looks a little less tired. He puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “OK if I leave you here with Gladio?” he asks. “I got some things to do.”

“Yes,” he says. It’s good. He likes it when Cor is there, but it’s good to see Gladio. He saw him yesterday, but it feels like a long time ago, now. And yesterday he only saw him for a few minutes, and everyone was shouting.

“OK,” Cor says. He rubs his head. “I’ll be back soon.”

Cor leaves. Gladio sits down. He looks around the room.

“So you’re stuck here, huh?” he says. “That sucks.”

“Yes,” he says. He’s stuck. “It sucks.”

Gladio snorts. “Maybe I can get my old man to give me permission to take you to the gym or something,” he says. “At least you can get some exercise. Don’t want you getting flabby.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t know what flabby means. “No.”

Gladio pulls some books out of the bag he’s carrying. They’re large, thin books like the one with images and text Gladio gave him before. Gladio puts them on the low table. Then his phone rings. He looks at it.

“Give me a sec,” he says, and answers the phone. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Gladio listens for a moment, then shakes his head. “No can do. I’ve got lit class with the shrimp.”

What? says the person on the other end of the phone, loud enough that he can hear. It’s Noctis. He sits up a little. Noctis is on the other end of the phone. Then he says something else, but quieter, so he can’t hear.

“It’s on the schedule,” Gladio says. “Hey, just because you’re not allowed to see him doesn’t mean he needs to be in solitary. OK, OK, don’t cry or nothing. Here.”

He holds out the phone to him. “A royal pain in the ass wants to talk to you,” he says.

He takes the phone and puts it to his ear. “Noctis,” he says.

“Prompto!” Noctis sounds angry. “You OK?”

He remembers what the one with the black hair said: that Noctis might sound angry but maybe that means he’s sad or scared.

“Yes,” he says.

“They’re not – being assholes to you, are they?” Noctis asks. “I mean, aside from the whole unjust imprisonment thing. My dad is being such a dick about it. But you’re OK, right?”

Noctis already asked him if he was OK. He wonders why he needs to ask again.

“Yes,” he says again.

“Shit, you must be so bored,” Noctis says. “Tell Cor to get you a games console. No, I’ll tell him. You won’t know what kind to get.”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t completely understand what Noctis is saying, but that’s normal. And he likes listening to Noctis talk.

“But Ignis says you’re only stuck there until they can figure out why you sleepwalk,” Noctis says. “So – I mean, that shouldn’t take long, right?”

He doesn’t know how long it will take – he doesn’t know how Cor will find out without any diagnostic tools – but then there’s a noise on the other end of the phone and what sounds like Ignis speaking in the background.

“That’s stupid,” Noctis says, sounding like he’s turned away from the phone. “What’s he going to do to me over the phone? Blast me with magic phone-rays?”

Ignis says something else, then Noctis says hey and there’s a scuffling noise. Then Ignis speaks again, but now he’s much closer to the phone.

“Prompto,” he says. “How are you?”

“I’m OK,” he says.

“You must be very bored,” Ignis says. “I’ll make sure that you get some things to keep you busy. Your highness, please. We can talk about this in a moment.”

He hears Noctis in the background saying seriously?, and then Ignis speaks again.

“I’m terrible sorry, I have to go,” he says. “I hope to come and see you soon, if that’s permissible?”

“Yes,” he says. “That would be good.”

“Excellent,” Ignis says. “Noctis says goodbye, as well.”

“Goodbye,” he says, but the phone cuts off in the middle of him saying it. He looks at it, then he looks at Gladio.

“Iggy?” Gladio says.

He nods. Gladio rolls his eyes.

“Seriously, what’re you gonna do to Noct over the phone? Murder him with your mind?”

“No,” he says. “I don’t know how to do that. And I don’t want to murder Noctis.”

Gladio laughs. “Yeah, exactly,” he says. “Sorry, squirt. My old man’s being kind of a dick about this.”

He’s not sure who the old man Gladio keeps referring to is, but given the form of the words and how similar they are to what Noctis said, he decides that Gladio’s old man is the same person as Noctis’s dad.

“OK,” Gladio says. “Let’s take a look at some of this literature.”

So they do.

~

Even though lit class is confusing, and even though by the end of it he still doesn’t feel like he knows much more about the purpose of the texts, he decides that he definitely likes it. It’s good to talk to someone, and Gladio smiles a lot more than Cor. He smiles and laughs, and sometimes – often – he’s not sure what Gladio’s smiling and laughing about, but he likes it anyway. And the time goes much more quickly because he has someone to talk to. When Cor comes back, he’s surprised that it’s time for lit class to end already. But it’s already late in the afternoon. If it was a normal day, Cor would take him back to the apartment now and they would have dinner. But it’s not a normal day, so they don’t go to the apartment. Cor sits on the couch and he sits facing him and they don’t say anything. He eats soup and Cor eats something with bread. Arcis arrives. It’s very quiet. He tries to think of something to say. But he can’t think of anything.

“Long day, huh?” Cor says at last.

“Yes,” he says. He feels like the day went on for a very long time. “I thought the one with the black hair was going to come, but she didn’t.”

Cor frowns at him. “Dr Fortis, right?” he says.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Why’d you call her that?” he asks at last. “The one with the black hair. You know her name.”

“Yes,” he says. He does know her name. He just – keeps forgetting to think about names. He should remember to think about them. They’re important. He remembers Noctis, in the house by the park, talking to him about his name and how he thought he would pick Leonis. If Noctis was here, he would ask him about that. But Noctis isn’t here. He isn’t permitted to come. And the one with the black hair didn’t come, either, even though she said she would. So maybe she’s not permitted. The thought makes his stomach sink. It’s important for him to be able to talk to her. She explains things.

“Why didn’t she come?” he asks.

Cor sighs. “Dr Fortis and I are having – a discussion,” he says. “We gotta work things out between ourselves before she can come and talk to you again.”

“Oh,” he says. “A discussion about what?”

Cor shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he says. “It’s not something you need to worry about.”

“Oh,” he says. But he is worried about it. Because if the discussion means the one with the black hair can’t come and see him, then that’s bad. He doesn’t want that. So he’s worried. It’s just like when Cor said it wasn’t his job to worry about him, but he was worried anyway. He’s not very good at not worrying. “I like her,” he says. He wants to make sure Cor knows, because sometimes Cor asks him if he likes something, then when he says he does Cor lets him do it. Like today, with lit class.

“I know you do, kiddo,” Cor says. “Don’t worry, OK? We’ll figure it out.”

“OK,” he says.

But he does worry.

~

That night, Cor sits by his bed again. He’s glad that Cor’s there, but he wishes that he wasn’t there. He wishes neither of them was there. If they were in the house by the park, Cor could sleep, and he could sleep, and nobody would have to sit awake all night. Or even if they were in Cor’s apartment. But they’re not. They’re here, and Cor’s sitting by the bed, and he’s not sleeping.

He can’t get to sleep, either. He feels tired, but not sleepy. Nothing’s happened all day, so he doesn’t have anything to think about. He stares at the ceiling. He thinks about shutting some of his systems down to make it easier to sleep. But Cor ordered him not to do that. So he just lies there.

“Hey,” Cor says, some time after midnight. Cor leans forward and brushes his hair away from his forehead. “Go to sleep, OK, kid? You gotta sleep.”

He wants to ask Cor if he doesn’t have to sleep, too. But Cor told him he’s not supposed to worry about it. So he doesn’t ask. But he can’t sleep. He closes his eyes so Cor won’t know he’s not asleep. He concentrates on lying still and looking like he’s asleep. He does this for a long time. It’s difficult. Now that his eyes are closed, there isn’t even anything to look at. But Cor said he had to sleep. So he tries to sleep. He tries and tries. But he doesn’t sleep.

It’s a long night. Time seems to be moving more slowly since he came to the room with the blue bed. He wishes it would move more quickly. The only time it moved quickly was during lit class. But that was when he wanted it to move slowly. It’s inconvenient. He listens to the sounds in the room. Cor breathing. Arcis breathing. The quiet hum of machinery and the muffled noise of cars on the roads below. He feels a strange desire to shout something. Or to get up and run around the room. Or to throw something. But he doesn’t do any of those things. He just lies still and listens to the sounds.

Eventually, the room gets light. He opens his eyes. Cor is still awake. His eyes are red. They look sunken into his face. He’s staring at nothing.

His stomach feels strange. He sits up. Cor blinks, then seems to shake himself. He looks at him.

“Sleep OK?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He’s not supposed to lie to Cor. But he doesn’t want Cor to be worried. He wants Cor to be – better. Less tired. But he doesn’t know how to make it happen.

“Great,” Cor says. He gets to his feet, then staggers a little and grabs on to the back of the chair. “I need a shower,” he mutters. He goes into the bathroom. A moment later, there’s the sound of the shower.

He gets out of bed and looks at Arcis. Arcis is frowning at the bathroom door.

“Can we get another bed?” he asks.

Arcis looks at him. “Huh?” he says.

“So Cor can sleep,” he says. “He keeps not sleeping.”

Arcis nods. “You noticed that, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he replies. It’s obvious. Cor’s not sleeping.

Arcis sighs. “Monica said she tried to bring a camp bed up a couple nights ago, but he refused,” he says. He shakes his head, looking at the bathroom door again. “Come on, Papa Bear,” he murmurs. “You gotta look after yourself, too.”

He looks at Arcis. Arcis is worried about Cor. “Cor said it wasn’t anyone’s job to worry about him,” he says. He wants to make sure Arcis knows that he should try not to worry.

Arcis looks surprised. Then he smiles. “Sounds like something the Marshal would say,” he says. “And you definitely shouldn’t be worrying. Leave that to the grown-ups.”

He swallows. “I don’t know how not to worry,” he says. “I keep doing it by mistake.”

Arcis doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Yeah, I get it,” he says. “You’re all good. You’re a good kid, you know that?”

“Yes,” he says. “Cor told me.”

Arcis laughs quietly. “Well, good,” he says.

He opens his mouth to ask about how to stop worrying, but then there’s a crash from the bathroom. His heart jumps in his chest, and he turns and runs across the room. He opens the door without thinking about it, even though he shouldn’t go anywhere when he hasn’t been told to. But his heart is beating in his throat, and he does it without thinking about it.

Cor is sitting on the bathroom floor. He’s wearing his pants, but no shirt or socks. He’s bent over, his head bowed, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb.

“Cor,” he says. He drops to his knees and reaches out, touches Cor’s shoulder. “Cor,” he says again. His heart is beating so loudly that it makes his head start to hurt.

“Sir?” says Arcis behind him. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” Cor says. He sounds like he’s in pain. He doesn’t open his eyes, but waves a hand towards Arcis. Cor’s hand brushes against his arm, and then Cor reaches out and grips his forearm. “It’s OK, kid,” he mutters, his head sinking even further and his grip tightening.

He doesn’t know what to do. Cor’s hurt. He’s in pain. He doesn’t know what to do. He reaches out again with his free hand. He tries to think what he would want if he was in pain. He thinks he would want Cor to be there. To know that Cor was there. So he reaches out and puts his hand on Cor’s back. So Cor will know he’s there. Then he looks at Arcis.

Arcis nods. “OK,” he says. “I’m calling the doctor.”

“No, no, it’s – it’s – uh,” Cor says, and then he lets go of his forearm and reaches out, groping until he finds his shoulder. He grabs him and pulls him closer. “It’s fine,” he whispers. “It’s fine.”

He presses his hand against Cor’s back. Outside, he hears Arcis speaking to someone.

It’s not fine.

~

After a few minutes, Cor’s grip on his shoulder loosens. He opens his eyes and sits up a little. He blinks, staring at the floor.

“I’m OK, kid,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He’s sitting on the floor, now, with Cor’s arm around his shoulders and one hand on Cor’s back. He feels like he might vomit. “No,” he says.

Cor glances sideways at him, then winces. “No?” he says.

“You’re hurt,” he says. “You’re not OK.” It’s obvious. If Cor was OK, he wouldn’t be sitting on the floor. He wouldn’t be in pain. Cor’s not OK. His heart beats faster. He doesn’t know what to do.

“Sure I am,” Cor says. “Just got a little lightheaded. Just – need some coffee.”

He wishes Ignis was here so he could ask if coffee is an appropriate treatment for being lightheaded. Ignis knows a lot about coffee.

Arcis reappears in the doorway. “Doc’s on her way,” he says. He crouches in front of Cor. “Sir? You need some water?”

“Water – yeah,” Cor says. “Call off the doctor. I’m fine.”

“All due respect, sir, I’m going to need a medical professional to confirm that,” Arcis says. He stands up and fills a glass with water. Then he crouches again and hands the water to Cor. Cor takes it, but his hand’s shaking and some of it spills. He drinks the rest and puts the glass down on the floor. Then he tries to stand up, but he only makes it halfway before he staggers. Arcis jumps forward, but he’s already caught Cor. He lowers him back to the floor.

“You’re not OK,” he says again. His voice cracks as he says it. “Why do you keep saying you are when you’re not?”

“Arcis, get the kid out of here, would you?” Cor says.

He looks at Arcis. He doesn’t want to get out of here. He wants to stay with Cor. He wants to make sure Cor’s not going to get any more hurt. If he’s somewhere else, he won’t be able to see that Cor’s not doing something to hurt himself more.

Arcis looks worried. But he smiles at him. “No can do, sir,” he says. “He’s not allowed to go anywhere else, remember?”

Cor groans. “Are you going to disobey every order I give you today?” he asks.

“No, sir,” Arcis says, standing sharply to attention. “Only the impossible ones, sir.”

Cor closes his eyes again. “Damn kids,” he mutters.

Then there’s the sound of the room door opening and closing, and a moment later the one with the white coat appears in the bathroom doorway.

“Arcis, Prompto,” she says. “Could I have a little room, please?”

He stands up and lets the one with the white coat crouch down next to Cor. Arcis puts a hand on his shoulder. It’s good. Arcis isn’t Cor, but it makes his heart a little quieter. He’s breathing very fast, he realises. But he doesn’t know how to stop.

“What happened?” the one with the white coat asks.

“Got dizzy, fell over,” Cor says. “I’m fine.”

“Did you hit your head?” the one with the white coat asks.

“Nope,” Cor says. “Landed on my ass.”

“But your head hurts,” the one with the white coat says.

“I’m fine,” Cor says again.

The one with the white coat sighs. “Arcis, please could you take Prompto into the other room?” she says. Then she looks up at him. “Prompto, your – Marshal Leonis is not seriously hurt. But we need a little privacy.”

He remembers privacy. It’s like how he’s not supposed to listen to conversations when people don’t know he’s listening. He doesn’t want to go into the other room. But Arcis puts an arm around his shoulders and takes him there. He sits him down on the couch. Then he sits next to him.

“He’ll be OK, kid,” he says. “The Marshal’s pretty badass.”

He swallows. When he closes his eyes, he sees Cor sitting on the floor with his eyes closed and his head bowed. He stands up. Then he sits down again. He doesn’t know what to do.

“You thought he couldn’t get hurt, huh?” Arcis says.

He looks at Arcis. He doesn’t know how Arcis knew that. “Yeah,” he says.

Arcis nods. “Me, too,” he says.

A few minutes later, the one with the white coat calls for Arcis to come to the bathroom. Then Arcis comes out again, with Cor leaning on him. He starts towards the couch, but the one with the white coat shakes her head.

“No,” she says. “Put him on the bed.”

“I don’t need--” Cor starts, but the one with the white coat interrupts him.

“Arcis,” she says. “Put him on the bed. That’s an order.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Arcis says.

He helps Cor over to the bed and sets him down. The one with the white coat hands him some pills and a glass of water. Cor swallows the pills and drinks the water. Then the one with the white coat folds her arms.

“Marshal Leonis, I’m relieving you of duty until you get some sleep,” she says.

Cor’s face twists into a scowl. “Seriously?” he says.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” the one with the white coat asks.

Cor stares at her for a long moment. Then he looks at him.

“I’ll make sure Prompto’s OK,” Arcis says. “I won’t take my eyes off him, sir.”

Cor’s face darkens. Arcis sits up a little straighter.

“I can get one of the other Crownsguard instead,” he says. His voice is quiet. “If you – if you’re concerned about my capabilities. Sir.”

There’s a silence. It makes his heart start to beat faster again. Then Cor puts a hand over his eyes.

“Just don’t – just don’t let him go anywhere,” he says. His words are slurred. “And don’t let him get scared. I don’t want him to be scared.”

Arcis looks surprised. He looks at the one with the white coat.

“Pills are working,” she murmurs, then darts forward as Cor slumps over, catching him and lowering him to the bed. She rearranges him until he’s lying on his side, then nods. “He needs as much sleep as possible,” she says. “Call me when he wakes up.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Arcis says.

The one with the white coat looks at Cor for another moment or two, shakes her head, then turns to leave. She pauses as she passes the couch, though, and looks at him. “He’ll be all right, Prompto,” she says.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

The one with the white coat nods. Then she leaves.

Arcis puts an arm round his shoulders. “You want to sit with Papa Bear?” he asks.

He nods. He gets up and sits in the chair next to the bed. That’s where Cor usually sits. He lies on the bed and Cor sits in the chair. But now it’s the opposite. Cor still looks bad. His face looks shadowed. But he’s sleeping. It’s good. He needs to sleep.

Arcis finds another chair and sits next to him. After a while, he looks at him.

“He was really scared when you disappeared,” he says. “I mean, we all were, but – I’ve never seen the Marshal like that. I thought he’d lose his mind.”

He swallows. His throat is burning. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to disappear.”

“No, kid, that’s not what I meant,” Arcis says. “I just meant – that’s why he’s being like this. He’s scared something else is going to happen. He doesn’t know how to deal with being so scared for you.”

“Oh,” he says. He thought Cor was mostly angry. But he remembers what the one with the black hair said – that sometimes people seem angry but actually they’re scared. She said it about Noctis, but it might be the same for Cor, too. But Cor’s angry a lot. So does that mean that Cor’s scared a lot? He doesn’t think that Cor can be scared a lot. But Arcis said he was.

He remembers: Cor saying It’s really important to me to have you with me. I wouldn’t want to give you up. It feels like a long time ago that he said it. But it wasn’t a long time ago. It was only a few days ago. And then he got lost and Cor didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know whether he was coming back. He tries to imagine how he would feel if Cor disappeared and he didn’t know whether he was coming back. It makes his stomach turn over.

“When Cor wakes up, will he still be scared?” he asks.

Arcis smiles, but his smile doesn’t look completely happy. “My mom once told me that once you’ve got a kid, you never really stop being scared.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about Cor. Thinks about Cor saying follow me, kid. “Why does anyone get a kid, then?” he asks.

Arcis grins and rubs his head. “Figure they mostly don’t realise what they’re letting themselves in for,” he says. “Plus, you know. I think Papa Bear kinda likes having you around.”

“Oh,” he says again. He thinks about what Arcis said. “I like being around,” he says. “It’s good.”

Arcis squeezes his shoulder. “Then we’re all in agreement,” he says.

Yes. They’re all in agreement. It’s good. He leans forward with his elbows on his knees and watches Cor.

And Cor sleeps.

Chapter Text

He wakes up because someone’s touching him. He opens his eyes. He didn’t realise he was asleep until he woke up. He’s still sitting in the chair. Cor is asleep on the bed. Arcis is touching him. He’s touching his shoulder.

“Hey, kid,” Arcis says quietly. “You’ll mess your neck up sleeping like that. Why don’t you share with Papa Bear?”

He blinks. It takes him a moment to understand what Arcis is saying. Then he understands: Arcis thinks he should sleep on the bed.

He looks at the bed. It’s large. Cor is taking up less than half of it.

It looks so soft.

Arcis tightens his grip on his shoulder and pushes him slightly. It’s enough to get him on his feet, and then he doesn’t have to do anything except fall over to be on the bed. He’s so tired. The bed feels soft against his face. He ought to move so that he’s lying on it properly, not face down and sideways. But he feels too tired to move.

He hears Arcis laugh quietly. Arcis has stopped touching him. Arcis isn’t supposed to touch him, he remembers. No-one’s supposed to touch him. He thinks he should tell Arcis, so he won’t touch him again.

He falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up again, Cor is still sleeping. The light’s changed. He thinks it’s mid-afternoon. Arcis isn’t sitting in the chair any more. Instead, the one from the phone is sitting in the chair. He’s looking at Cor and frowning.

He stares at the one from the phone. The one from the phone hasn’t seen that he’s awake. He’s too busy looking at Cor. He doesn’t want the one from the phone to see that he’s awake. So he closes his eyes.

He listens. The one from the phone is very quiet. He can barely hear him breathing without sharpening his hearing. Then he hears a vibration. He hears the one from the phone stand up and move away. The one from the phone starts to talk. He talks quietly, but he can still hear him.

“He’s asleep,” the one from the phone says, then pauses. “Yes, Your Majesty. Doctor Salus doesn’t think he’s in any danger. Just exhausted.” Another pause. “I agree. But I don’t think forcing the issue would help matters. And I’m not sure Fortis would be willing to proceed without Cor’s support, in any case.” A pause. “Understood. I’ll keep you informed.”

Then silence. The one from the phone sighs. Then he comes back towards the bed. There’s silence. He lies still and tries not to hold his breath. At last, the one from the phone speaks again.

“What are we going to do about all this mess, my friend?” he murmurs.

He waits. The one from the phone calls Cor my friend. So he was talking to Cor. But Cor’s asleep. He waits to see if Cor will wake up and answer. But he doesn’t.

The one from the phone sighs again. Then he walks away. A door opens.

“Back to your post,” the one from the phone says.

There are footsteps.

“Let me know when Marshal Leonis wakes up,” the one from the phone says.

“Yes, sir,” says someone else. It’s Arcis. He’s standing near the bed.

A door closes. More footsteps. Someone sits down next to the bed. He hopes it’s Arcis. But maybe it’s the one from the phone. He should keep his eyes closed, in case. He lies still. He wants to know. But he should keep his eyes closed. He should lie still.

He opens one eye.

Arcis is sitting next to the bed looking at him. He closes his eye quickly, but it’s too late. Arcis saw him. Arcis laughs quietly.

“Don’t worry, the Shield’s gone,” he says.

He opens his eyes. Arcis is smiling. “Sometimes I wish I could hide from him, too,” he says.

He sits up. It’s strange that Arcis is here. Usually Arcis is only here at night and in the early part of the morning. But it’s afternoon now and Arcis is here. It’s strange. But it’s good.

“Feel better?” Arcis asks. He’s talking quietly.

He looks at Cor. Cor is still sleeping. It’s good. Cor won’t get hurt again if he sleeps enough.

“Yes,” he says.

Arcis nods. He sits quietly for a moment or two. Then he stands up.

“Altissian pick-up?” he says.

~

They play for an hour. They play very quietly so that they don’t wake Cor up. Arcis teaches him a new game, and he loses the first round but then he wins all the others. Arcis laughs every time he wins. He’s not sure why Arcis keeps laughing, but he likes watching him laugh, so it’s pleasant. It’s a lot more pleasant than the day before. He hopes Arcis will stay every day now so that he doesn’t have to sit and do nothing like he did the day before.

Then, Cor wakes up. He doesn’t wake up immediately. First he shifts and groans quietly. Then he shifts again. Then he puts a hand to his forehead and mumbles something. He’s still asleep. But by this time, he’s standing by the bed, waiting. Arcis is standing beside him. So when Cor opens his eyes, they’re both standing there.

“Uh,” Cor mumbles. He closes his eyes again.

“Cor,” he says. He kneels down by the bed. “Cor. You’re awake.”

“Nope,” Cor mutters. Then he opens his eyes again and frowns. “Kid?” he says. He looks around. “Whuh? Uh – Huh?”

He puts a hand on Cor’s arm. Cor feels warm and solid. “You’re awake,” he says again. “Are you OK?”

“Uh – hm,” Cor says. He’s frowning still. “What – time is it?”

“Just after four, sir,” Arcis says.

Cor looks at Arcis. His frown deepens. “Four – in the morning?” he says.

“Afternoon, sir,” Arcis says.

Cor looks surprised. He sits up.

“What?” he says. He looks around the room. “Why am I asleep at four in the afternoon?”

“You fell over,” he says. “Because you didn’t sleep enough.”

Cor blinks at him. Then his face clears. “Oh,” he says. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I remember now.” He rubs the back of his head.

“Do you want some water?” he asks. Cor always gives him water when he’s been sleeping and he’s confused.

Cor stares at him for a moment. He looks surprised. Then he lets out a quiet breath of air. “Sure,” he says. “Thanks, kid.”

He stands up to get some water for Cor. But Arcis is already holding a glass. He doesn’t give it to Cor, though. He gives it to him. So he turns and holds it out to Cor. He watches as Cor drinks it. Cor looks less tired, now. It’s good.

Cor finishes the water and wipes the back of his hand across his mouth. “Thanks,” he says again. He puts the empty glass on the table by the bed. He looks at Arcis. “Anything happen while I was out?”

“Nope, unless you count the kid cleaning my clock at Cactuar Cross,” he says. “Don’t ever teach him how to play for money, OK?”

Cor’s lips twitch. Then he looks at him. “Sorry, kid,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Cor didn’t mean to scare him. But he was scared anyway. He’s still scared. Cor got hurt. And it wasn’t even an enemy soldier that hurt him. He hurt himself by not maintaining himself in optimal condition. He doesn’t understand why Cor did that. It makes him feel – something. Like he wants to pick up something and throw it. It’s strange. Throwing something wouldn’t have any effect on Cor’s behaviour. But he wants to throw something anyway.

“Oh, uh, the Shield came by to check on you,” Arcis says.

Cor sighs and rubs his hand over his face. “He seem pissed?” he asks.

“More like worried,” Arcis says.

Cor nods. “Guess I’d better face the music,” he mutters, and pulls out his phone. He stands up and walks towards the door. As he passes him, he squeezes his shoulder. It feels warm.

“Yeah,” he says into the phone when he’s almost at the door. “Just woke up. Yeah, Clarus, you don’t even have to--”

Then he closes the door, and he can’t hear him any more without sharpening his hearing.

He sits and waits for Cor to come back. He can hear him talking outside the door, but he can’t hear what he’s saying. But it’s good that he can hear him talking. That means he hasn’t gone away anywhere.

Then Cor’s voice gets louder. “Yeah, well I said no,” he says. It’s clear even without sharpening his hearing. Cor’s angry. The one with the black hair told him sometimes people seem angry when actually they’re sad or scared. But he doesn’t think Cor is sad or scared. He thinks he’s angry.

Arcis clears his throat. “Want to put some music on, maybe?” he says. He stands up, but before he can do anything, the door opens and Cor comes back in. He looks angry. He closes the door hard. Then he stands inside the door and glares at nothing. Then he takes a deep breath and stops glaring.

“OK,” he says. “Music faced. Kid, when’d you last eat?”

He frowns, thinking about what Cor said. Music faced. But Arcis hadn’t turned on the music yet. He wants to understand it because he thinks maybe it will help him to understand why Cor’s angry. But he doesn’t understand it.

“Kid?” Cor says.

He realises Cor asked him a question. He can’t remember what the question was. He feels – strange, like there’s something bubbling up inside him. It’s like excited, but it’s not a pleasant feeling. He feels – like he wants to shout something. He doesn’t know what. He doesn’t have anything to shout. But he feels it anyway.

“He slept all day,” Arcis says. “Didn’t have anything this morning.”

“When is the--” he starts, and then stops. Both Cor and Arcis are looking at him. He realises he interrupted something Arcis was saying. He didn’t even mean to ask a question. The words just came out. “I – I’m sorry,” he says. He didn’t even mean to speak.

“Huh?” Cor says. “Sorry for what?” He glances at Arcis. “Call Ignis and ask him to bring something.” Then he turns back to him. “Sorry for what, kid?”

He shakes his head. He presses himself deeper into the couch. It’s soft. He feels like he can’t sit still. He wonders when the one with the black hair will come back. He wants to talk to her.

Cor frowns at him. “What’s the problem?” he asks. Then he shakes his head. “Shit, I need Fortis,” he mutters.

“Yes,” he says. He nods. “Yes. When is she coming?”

Cor looks at him, eyebrows raised. He doesn’t say anything.

He said something wrong. He must have said something wrong. Everything’s been wrong since – since he woke up and he wasn’t in the house by the park. He feels the bubbling and swelling in his chest again. He wants to shout. He wants to shout something. But he doesn’t know what. He swallows, trying to push the feeling away. If the one with the black hair was here she could explain the feeling. She could explain why Cor failed to maintain himself in optimal condition. But she isn’t here. Cor’s here. Cor doesn’t explain things well.

Cor sighs, then, and reaches out, rubbing his head. “I’m sorry, kid,” he says. “I know how much you like her. But we gotta work a few things out.”

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. He doesn’t understand why Cor won’t let the one with the black hair come. But Cor is – Cor is Cor. Cor must have a reason. Because Cor – has reasons for the things he does. Even for failing to maintain himself in optimal condition. He must have had a reason for that. There must be a reason for – all these things.

Cor nods. “OK,” he says. He stands and looks at him for a moment. Then he sighs and sits down. “OK,” he says again, very quietly.

Then: there’s a knock at the door. He sits up. Maybe it’s the one with the black hair. But when the door opens, it isn’t. It’s Ignis. But that’s good, too. It’s good to see Ignis. It’s good to see anyone.

“Prompto,” Ignis says. “Marshal.” He stands still, looking at Cor. “I understand you had an… incident?”

Cor waves his hand. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Just Doc Salus overreacting.”

Ignis raises an eyebrow, but Cor turns away from him. He looks at Ignis. He wants to tell Ignis that Cor isn’t maintaining himself correctly. Ignis provides him with soup so that his systems continue to function adequately. Maybe Ignis can assist Cor, as well. Cor said he’s not supposed to worry, but someone has to worry so that Cor won’t get hurt again. If he’s not permitted to worry, maybe Ignis can worry?

Ignis sees him looking and smiles at him. “I’ve brought some things for you,” he says. He sits down opposite him and opens the bag he’s carrying. It has a vessel for soup inside, but also some other objects. The first is a sheet of paper. Ignis removes it from the bag and then looks at Cor.

“Marshal,” he says. “We’re still agreed?”

Cor nods once. His face looks tight.

Ignis lays the paper down on the table. He sees that it’s an image. The image is greyscale and a little blurred. It’s an image of a person with a bruised face and dried blood underneath his nose. The nose looks like it’s broken. The person is standing close to the camera holding a phone receiver. The phone receiver is attached by a wire to something underneath the camera. The person is the one with the green jacket.

“Have you seen this man before?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. The jacket doesn’t look green in the image because there are no colours. But it’s the same jacket. It reminds him of the small, dark apartment, the way it smelled, the way the cheeseburger made a painful lump in his chest. His stomach seems to twist and curl inside him.

“Is this the man you met when you were lost in the city?” Ignis asks. “The one who took you to his apartment?”

“Yes,” he says.

Ignis doesn’t say anything for a moment. He sits very still. Then he glances at Cor. Cor is sitting with his back straight and his hands on his knees. His fingers look like they’re pressing into his knees. His face looks tight.

Ignis nods. “Thank you,” he says, and sweeps the image back into the bag. Then he clears his throat. “Marshal?”

Cor jerks slightly, then takes a deep breath. “All right,” he says. He looks at Ignis. “You got the guy’s name?”

“Not yet,” Ignis says. “But I have the location of the phone booth.”

Cor nods. “Keep on it,” he says.

Ignis nods again, but just a small nod, almost nothing at all. Then Cor looks at him.

“You remember what I said about not doing things just because people tell you to, right, kid?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. It’s hard to forget such a strange command. But he doesn’t see anyone now except Cor and Arcis and sometimes Ignis, so it’s easy for him to follow it.

Cor nods. “Great,” he says. “Just – remember it, OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t completely understand the parameters of the command. But Cor is exempted from the command, so he’s still permitted to follow Cor’s orders. So that’s good. Except that Cor ordered him not to worry.

“Prompto?” Ignis says. He blinks and looks at Ignis. Ignis is frowning at him. Cor’s frowning at him, as well, but that’s normal.

“Are you all right?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure why Ignis is asking him. But people ask him if he’s all right very frequently. It’s normal.

Ignis nods. “Well,” he says. “I have a gift for you.” He glances at Cor, and Cor nods slightly. Ignis reaches into the bag and pulls out a rectangular black object. He holds it out.

It’s a phone.

He frowns at it. Then he looks at Cor. “I’m not permitted--” he says. Then he realises the phone is already in his hand. He didn’t intend to reach out for it. He’s not permitted to have a phone. But it’s in his hand.

“Turns out, a really determined Prince of the Realm can work wonders on the motivation of the eggheads down in R and D,” Cor says, smiling a little.

He stares at Cor, then looks at the phone in his hand. “I don’t understand,” he says.

“It’s been designed especially for you,” Ignis says. “It doesn’t connect to any kind of internet, but it can communicate with a small number of people who have their own special phones for the purpose. Myself and Cor, and Prince Noctis.”

Cor clears his throat. “All communications monitored, kid,” he says. “So don’t be expecting privacy.”

He can’t remember what privacy means. But it isn’t important. He looks at the phone. He’ll be able to communicate with Cor and Ignis when they’re not here. And Noctis. He’ll be able to communicate with Noctis. So when no-one’s here, or when Cor’s here but he’s not talking, he’ll still be able to communicate with someone. He won’t be on his own. And if he gets lost again –

He won’t be on his own.

Cor frowns. “Hey – don’t cry,” he says. “Hey, come on. Here. Here.” He stands up and comes to sit next to him. He puts his arm around his shoulders. “Look,” he says, reaching out and activating the screen on the phone. “It takes pictures, too.”

He stares at the screen. It’s showing an image of the floor. The blue floor covering. He touches the white circle on the screen. The image freezes.

It takes pictures, too.

He turns to stare at Cor. Cor looks back at him. “OK?” Cor says. “Better?”

Better. Yes, it’s better. Yes, it’s better.

“Yes,” he whispers. He raises the phone so that the screen shows an image of Cor. He touches the white circle. The image freezes. It’s blurred, but it’s Cor. “Yes,” he says again. “Thank you.” He looks at Ignis. “Thank you.”

Ignis smiles. “I’m glad you like it,” he says.

Then the phone vibrates in his hand. He stares at it. A white box has appeared on the screen with words in it. It reads: Noct: Did Specs give you the phone yet???

He stares at the phone. He realises he doesn’t know how to answer the message. But before he can try to find out, Ignis’s phone starts ringing.

Ignis pulls his phone out of his pocket, looks at the screen, and sighs. He puts the phone to his ear.

“Your Highness,” he says.

“Did you give him the phone yet?” says Noctis. He doesn’t even have to sharpen his hearing to hear it.

“Yes, just a moment ago,” Ignis says. “I’m sure he’ll send you a message very soon.”

“Does he like it?” Noctis asks. “Did you tell him about King’s Knight?”

Ignis sighs again, very quietly, then holds out the phone to him. “I think someone wants to talk to you,” he says.

He takes the phone. He looks at Cor. “Is it permitted?” he asks. Before when he spoke to Noctis on the phone, it seemed as though it wasn’t permitted. But now Ignis is giving him the phone.

Cor nods. “His Highness cleared it with the King,” he says. “No face-to-face meetings, but the phone’s OK as long as it’s monitored. Guess that’s what they call pester power.”

He doesn’t understand the word pester, but he understands everything else, and that’s enough. He puts the phone to his ear.

“Hello,” he says.

“Prompto! Finally,” Noctis says. “Hey, my dad said it’s OK for us to talk on the phone as long as the goons are listening in. Hi, goons, by the way.”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks there’s something important about what Noctis said, but he doesn’t have time to think about it yet. “Cor told me.”

“Right,” Noctis says. “And Specs says he gave you the phone? Did you get my message?”

“Yes,” he says, then remembers what Noctis taught him. “Yeah. I don’t know how to construct a message.”

Noctis makes a noise. “Get Cor to show you. No, get Ignis to do it. I don’t know if Cor knows how to text, you know, being old and whatever.”

“Yeah,” he says. He doesn’t understand everything Noctis says. It’s good. It’s familiar. It makes him feel good to listen to Noctis.

“Did Specs tell you we can play King’s Knight on the phone?” Noctis asks. “The R and D guys said it wasn’t possible to set up a personal intranet that was totally secure, but I figured they were just blowing me off, and turns out I was right.”

“Oh,” he says.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. He sounds a little breathless. “So we can play. And other games, too. Whatever you want, I’ll get them to put it on there.” He pauses. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Yeah,” he says. He does want to. He thinks about playing King’s Knight with Noctis and it makes him feel better than he’s felt for a long time. “Yes, I want to.”

“Cool,” Noctis says. “Yeah, I knew you would.”

“The phone makes images,” he says.

Noctis laughs. “Takes photos,” he says. “Yeah, I know. You can send them, too. Here.”

There’s a pause and some scraping sounds, and then the phone in his hand vibrates. He looks at it and sees that an image of Noctis has appeared on the screen. He’s sitting on the couch in Ignis’ room. His hand is raised in greeting. Behind him, part of Gladio’s face is visible. He’s grinning and holding up his fist with the thumb extended upwards.

“Did you get it?” Noctis asks.

“Yeah,” he says. “Is that from now?”

“Huh?” Noctis says. “Yeah – I mean, I took it just now, if that what you mean.”

“Oh,” he says. He looks at the image on the screen again. That’s where Noctis and Gladio are right now. He can picture it. It’s somewhere not very far away. It’s good. He likes knowing where they are.

“So, you want to play now?” Noctis asks.

He looks at Cor and Ignis. “Am I permitted to play King’s Knight?” he asks.

“Later, kid,” Cor says. He holds out his hand. “Let me talk to him.”

He holds out Ignis’s phone. But he keeps the other one. The one that Ignis gave to him. That he can keep. The image of Noctis and Gladio is still on the screen. He looks at it.

“Your Highness,” Cor says into Ignis’s phone. “Prompto’ll be free to play in a while.” He pauses. “Yeah, he’s pretty psyched. You did good.” Another pause. “OK. Bye.” He takes the phone away from his ear and hands it to Ignis. “Never seen him so determined to get something done before.”

Ignis takes the phone and puts it back in his pocket. “I suspect there isn’t anything he’s wanted this much before,” he says. Then he turns back to him. “Now. Is there anyone else you would like to be able to communicate with? I can’t promise anything, but we can certainly put it to the King and the Shield.”

He looks at the phone. Ignis said it could communicate with him, Cor, and Noctis. He thinks about who else it might be useful to communicate with, if he was lost or just – if he needed to communicate with someone.

“Gladio,” he says. “And Arcis. If it’s permitted.”

Ignis and Cor look at Arcis. Arcis is standing by the door. He’s not usually here in the afternoon, but today he’s been here all day. When he said Arcis’s name, Arcis straightened up, and now he smiles very wide.

“That OK with you, Crownsguard?” Cor asks.

Arcis smiles at Cor. “Yessir,” he says. “Wouldn’t mind a round or two of King’s Knight myself, one of these days. When I’m off duty, of course.”

Cor nods and turns back to him. “I can ask,” he says. “We’ll see what the King says.”

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you. And the one--” He stops. He should remember to use names when he’s talking about people. Cor told him to do that. “Dr Fortis,” he says.

Cor’s eyebrows draw down. He glances away, then looks back at him.

“We’ll see,” he says. Then he picks up the flask. “Time to eat, kid.”

~

He eats all the soup Ignis brought. Ignis gives him some bread as well, and he tries to eat that. But when he swallows the first mouthful, the feeling of it in his throat makes him remember the cheeseburger the one with the green jacket gave him, the way it seemed to be stuck in his chest. He feels for a moment like everything’s dark and grimy and he’s cold and wet, even though he’s in the blue room where it’s light and warm and dry. His chest hurts and his arms itch. He swallows again and tries to prepare himself to bite into the bread a second time. But Cor puts a hand on his arm.

“OK, that’s not going well,” he says. “Maybe we’ll leave it for another time.”

Cor takes the bread and gives it back to Ignis, and he’s grateful. He wants to obey orders, but he doesn’t want to eat any more bread. He doesn’t understand why people eat bread when it’s so – unpleasant.

After he’s finished the soup, Ignis says goodbye and Cor goes to sit at the table and look at his computer. He looks at Cor. Even though Cor slept all day and looks better than he did before, he still looks tired. He slept for approximately eight hours, but before that he didn’t sleep very much for several days. So he thinks that Cor should sleep more to return his body to optimal condition. But Cor doesn’t sleep more. He sits and looks at his computer. He thought maybe Ignis would assist Cor to return to optimal condition. But he didn’t say anything about Cor sleeping. He only talked about the phone, and the one with the green jacket, and soup.

The phone vibrates in his hand. He looks at it. There’s a white box on the screen.

Noct: You free yet?

He frowns at the phone. Free means removed from restraint, as when you pull a gun free from its holster. But Noctis is using it in a different way. He tries to decide what it might mean. Maybe Noctis is asking if he’s free from restraint, as in whether he’s now permitted to leave the blue room. It could be a figure of speech. But he’s not permitted to leave the blue room. So he thinks he’s probably not free.

He spends a little while trying to understand how to construct a message on the phone. Eventually, he finds the right combination of touching and swiping the screen. He constructs a reply to Noctis. When he sends it, it appears on the screen:

Prompto: No.

He waits. A few seconds later, a new message appears.

Noct: Seriously? Specs is back here. He said you were done eating.

Specs is Ignis. So now Ignis is with Noctis in Ignis’ room. He wonders if Gladio is still there as well. He pictures them all there together. Then he constructs a new message.

Prompto: Yes.

He waits. And then:

Noct: ...OK.

Noct: You know you’re allowed to say more than one word per text, right?

Noct: So what’s the deal? Is Cor giving you a lecture or something?

He stares at the messages. There are three questions, but Noctis didn’t wait for him to answer the first one before he asked the other ones. He decides to respond to them in order.

Prompto: Yes. I don’t understand. No, he’s looking at his computer.

There’s a longer pause. Then a new message.

Noct: Cor’s looking at his computer?

Prompto: Yes.

A long pause.

Noct: So what are you doing, then?

He thinks about what he’s doing.

Prompto: I’m constructing messages to you. And I’m thinking about Cor.

Noct: What about Cor?

Prompto: About whether Cor should be sleeping in order to maintain himself in optimal condition.

Noct: Dude.

Noct: Wait, Specs said Cor had a weird thing this morning. But he’s OK, right? He’s not hurt?

Prompto: He was hurt this morning. He fell over.

Noct: Fell over? Seriously? Cor the Immortal?

“Yes,” he says out loud. Cor glances at him, and he remembers he needs to put the message into the phone.

“Talking to Noctis?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says again.

Cor nods and turns back to his computer. He looks back at the phone.

Prompto: Yes. He fell over.

Noct: Huh.

Noct: You’re worried about him, huh?

He holds the phone in his hands, but he doesn’t type anything. He is worried about Cor, but he’s not permitted to worry. Cor told him not to worry. So he doesn’t know how to answer the question. He doesn’t want to tell Noctis that he’s failing to obey orders. But he doesn’t want to lie, either.

Noct: I can order him to sleep more if you want.

Noct: If it’ll make you feel better.

He frowns at the phone. The message doesn’t make sense. How can Noctis order Cor to do anything? Cor outranks Noctis by a significant margin. He’s still trying to construct a response when the phone vibrates again.

Noct: I asked Specs and he says Cor’s OK but he needs to make sure he gets a good night’s sleep every night for at least the next week.

Noct: Specs says if he doesn’t sleep you should tell Arcis to tell Dr Salus.

Noct: Man, even thinking about going that long without sleep is making me tired.

He looks at the messages. Even though Cor outranks Ignis, Ignis has given him instructions about Cor. But – Cor hasn’t told him he’s not permitted to talk to Arcis about whether Cor sleeps or not. So if Ignis orders him to do that and Cor doesn’t countermand the order, then he should do it. Good. So now he knows what he has to do. It’s good. The the one with the white coat will help Cor.

Prompto: Yes. Thank you.

Noct: Cool. Anyway, Cor’s a badass. You don’t have to worry about him.

Noctis is the third person who’s told him not to worry about Cor. It’s clear that it’s important for him not to worry about Cor. But he keeps failing in the task. He tries not to think about Cor at all. But that just makes him think about Cor more.

Noct: So you wanna play, or what?

Good. If he plays King’s Knight with Noctis, he’ll have something else to think about. Then maybe he won’t keep worrying about Cor.

Prompto: Yeah.

Noctis sends a new message. This message contains no text, but only a small yellow blob. When he looks carefully, he sees it seems to be a schematic representation of a fist with the thumb extended upwards. It’s the same gesture Gladio was performing in the image Noctis sent. But before he has time to think about it any further, the screen changes and a new message appears:

Crown Prince of Badass sent you an invitation to join a game!

Prince refers to Noctis. He’s not sure what the other words mean, but Noctis seems to have a lot of different names, so he assumes this is another one. He spends a few seconds investigating how to respond to the invitation, and then he succeeds and the screen turns into the familiar images from the game. He thinks about how yesterday he spent all day in the blue room and nothing happened. How it felt strange and unpleasant. But now he can communicate with Noctis and play King’s Knight, and later he can make some more images. It’s better. It’s so much better.

The phone makes a chime, and the game begins.

~

That evening, things are better and worse. Better because he can talk to Noctis, but worse because Arcis goes away and is replaced by a silent one he doesn’t know. Cor says that Arcis has been on duty for twenty-four hours and needs to sleep. He understands: humans need to sleep. That’s very clear. But if Cor doesn’t sleep, he’s supposed to tell Arcis. But Arcis isn’t here. And he can’t communicate with Arcis using the phone.

In the early evening, Noctis goes away, too. Specs is making me do my homework he says in a message. Slave driver. So then he can’t communicate with Noctis any more, either. He makes some images with the phone, and that’s interesting. He makes a lot of images of the plants. But after a while, he’s made images of everything he can find in the room, and it’s much darker than it was, so the images aren’t as pleasing as they were before. He makes several images of Cor, but Cor doesn’t sit very still and the images keep coming out blurred. But it’s still interesting. And better than before.

Then, it gets to be late. He’s waiting to see if Cor will go to bed. Ignis said that Cor needs a good night’s sleep. So he needs to sleep all night, and it needs to be good. He doesn’t think sleeping in the chair would be good. It’s uncomfortable. So he waits to see what will happen.

Eventually, Cor sits up in his chair and stretches. “All right, kiddo,” he says. “Bedtime.”

“Yes,” he says. He waits.

Cor looks at him. “Yeah?” he says. “Bedtime?”

“Yes,” he says again. He waits to see if Cor’s going to bed. But Cor just looks at him. Then Cor starts to frown.

“You OK, kid?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “Are you OK?”

Cor raises his eyebrows. Then he shakes his head. He stands up and comes to sit opposite him on the couch.

“Hey – that thing that happened earlier,” he says. “You get that that was just a weird glitch, right? It’s nothing. You don’t have to worry about it.”

A glitch is something that happens to software. An unexpected combination of factors which causes a problem but is unlikely to happen again. But Cor doesn’t have any software installed. Cor’s human. And the combination of factors wasn’t unexpected. Cor didn’t sleep enough, and that made Cor function suboptimally. It’s not unexpected at all. It’s highly predictable. And it’s not unlikely to happen again, either. If Cor doesn’t sleep, the same thing will happen again. It’s predictable.

“OK, you don’t need to look at me like that,” Cor says. “I’m serious, it’s fine. You trust me, right?”

He opens his mouth. Then he closes it. Then he opens it again.

“I don’t think it’s a glitch,” he says. “You don’t have any software installed.”

Cor raises his eyebrows. Then he laughs. “Yeah, OK, you got me there,” he says. “I just mean – it’s nothing to worry about.”

And then: the feeling comes back. The bubbling, unpleasant feeling. Like he wants to throw something, or shout something. He swallows. He wants – he just wants Cor to maintain himself correctly. He doesn’t understand why Cor is behaving this way.

Then there’s a knock at the door. Cor glances up. “Yeah, come in,” he calls.

The door opens. It’s the one from the phone.

“Cor,” he says. Then he looks at him. “Prompto.”

“Clarus,” Cor says. “What’s up?”

“I was just calling by to make sure you were on your way to bed,” the one from the phone says.

Cor raises his eyebrows. “Seriously?” he says. “You wanna tuck me in?”

The one from the phone’s expression doesn’t change. “If it’s necessary to make sure you sleep,” he says.

Cor just stares at him for a moment. Then his face twists into a glare. “What, Doc Salus put you up to this?” he asks.

“And if she did?” one from the phone asks. “Need I remind you that she is a medical professional who has given you specific instructions about your health? If you are unable to follow them, it may be necessary to relieve you of your duty and send you home until such time as you find yourself able.”

“Home?” Cor says. Then he glances at him. Then he shakes his head. “I’m staying here.”

“That’s fine,” the one from the phone says. “As long as you sleep.”

Cor keeps glaring at him. Then he closes his eyes and bows his head a moment. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll get Monica to bring up the camp bed.”

The one from the phone comes all the way into the room, then. He comes and sits on one of the soft chairs. He leans forward and looks at Cor.

“My friend,” he says. “This is not an overreaction. If you’re to be fit for your duties--” He glances at him. “-- all of your duties, you must take care of yourself. The doctor tells me this could have been a great deal more serious, and it could still go that way if we’re not careful.”

Cor grunts. “I said I was gonna get the camp bed. What else do you want?”

“I want you to sleep in a proper bed,” the one from the phone says. “I want you to spend some time outside. I want you to eat regular meals. I want you to – stop worrying yourself to death.”

Cor stares at him. Then he looks away. “Yeah, well, I want a chocobo that shoots rainbows out of its ass,” he says. “But we don’t always get what we want.”

“You can sleep in the blue bed,” he says.

Cor and the one from the phone both turn to look at him. They look surprised. He shouldn’t have spoken. But he wants Cor to have a good night’s sleep. And the one from the phone wants it, too. The one from the phone wants Cor to stop worrying, just like Cor wants him to stop worrying. And he wants Cor to stop worrying, too. He wants Cor to maintain himself more successfully.

“That’s your bed, kid,” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says. Cor starts to turn away, but he hasn’t finished speaking. “It’s big,” he says. “So you can sleep there, too.”

Cor stares at him. The one from the phone stares at him, too. Then the one from the phone glances at the bed. He looks like he’s thinking. Then he nods.

“Agreed,” he says. “An excellent solution.”

Cor glances at the one from the phone. Then he looks at him. Then he takes a deep breath and looks over his shoulder at the silent one.

“There’s someone outside the door too, right?” he says.

“Not at present, but I can station someone there,” the one from the phone says.

Cor nods. “Yeah. That’d – thanks, Clarus.” He stands up and runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t – know what’s come over me lately.”

The one from the phone watches him for a moment. “I don’t think that’s much of a mystery,” he says. Then he stands and claps Cor on the shoulder. “Prompto is as safe here as he can be anywhere,” he says.

Cor glances at him and sighs. “That’s what worries me,” he mutters.

The one from the phone doesn’t say anything. He turns away towards the door. “Good night, my friend,” he says, and then, just before he reaches the door, he glances back. “Good night, Prompto,” he says.

“Yeah, night,” Cor says. The door opens and closes, and then Cor turns to him. “Guess there was still some music to face, after all,” he says.

He listens for the music, but he can’t hear any. Cor reaches out and rubs his head. “Brush your teeth,” he says. “The last thing I need right now is to get chewed out by Ignis as well.”

So he goes to brush his teeth.

~

Later, he lies in the bed and thinks about what Noctis said. Cor is asleep beside him, and he can hear him breathing. It’s good. He knows where Cor is, and that Cor’s asleep. He’s tired, but he’s not sleepy. He’s thinking about all the things that have happened in the day. About Noctis saying my dad says it’s OK. And Cor saying His Highness cleared it with the King. The King is the supreme commander. And he knows Noctis is associated with the King in some way. Ignis once told him that Noctis was the King’s son. And now it seems that the King is Noctis’s dad. He remembers Noctis talking about his dad a number of times before. And he remembers thinking that Noctis’s dad must be the same person as Gladio’s old man. So perhaps the King is Gladio’s old man. But Gladio also has a dad. He’s heard Gladio talk about his dad a number of times. He wonders if Ignis has a dad. Perhaps it’s some kind of superior-subordinate relationship. But it’s not one he’s familiar with.

On the small table next to the bed, the phone vibrates. He reaches out and picks it up. There’s a message on the screen.

Noct: Night, Prompto.

He looks at the message. Noctis is somewhere else, doing something else. But he sent him a message. It makes him feel – warm. He constructs a message in response:

Prompto: Good night.

Then he puts the phone down and closes his eyes.

Chapter 49

Notes:

As usual, this is all going in somewhat unexpected directions, but at least it seems to be going there a bit faster than usual! Bit shorter than usual, but it felt like it came to a natural end. For those of you who have expressed concern, this story is definitely not abandoned in any way! Work and life have both been hectic since, oooh, April, with a few tiny breaks, but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And all your lovely comments have definitely helped me get through. Thank you so much ♥ I especially am enjoying how much you all like Arcis. Awww, he's a good lad ♥

Anyway, have at it!

Chapter Text

When he wakes up, Cor’s gone.

He sits up. He’s not alone: there’s a silent one he doesn’t know standing by the door. But there’s no-one else. Cor’s not there. So he is alone. He feels alone even though the silent one is there.

He looks at the light coming in through the window. It’s later than he usually wakes up, but not very much later. There’s a note on the small table by the bed. It says Had to go take care of some things. Back soon. No name is given, but he recognises the handwriting: Cor. So Cor had to go out. But he didn’t say how long he was going out for. And he doesn’t know when he left, anyway. So he doesn’t know when he’s going to come back.

He gets out of bed. The silent one doesn’t say anything. So he doesn’t say anything either. If it was Arcis, he would have said something. But it isn’t. So he goes to take a shower. Then he gets dressed. Then he sits on the couch and wonders what to do next.

Then: he remembers the phone. He feels a sense like something in his chest loosening, even though he didn’t know there was anything tight in his chest. He gets up and goes back to the bed. He picks up the phone. There’s a series of messages on it.

Noct: Hey, you awake?

Noct: Prompto?

Noct: Guess not.

Noct: Prompto?

Noct: Sleeping in, huh? Lucky.

Noct: I gotta go to school. Ignis says I can’t take the phone with me. So I guess I’ll message you when I get back.

Noct: Seriously, wish Specs would let me sleep this long.

Noct: OK, bye.

He reads the messages, then he reads them again. Noctis comes back from school in the middle of the afternoon. So he won’t hear from him until then. He reads the messages again. Then he puts the phone down. It’s very quiet in the room. It feels like a long time until the middle of the afternoon. He wonders what to do next.

He picks the phone up and goes over to the window. He makes some images of the plants. But the feeling he had when he was making images before isn’t there any more. Or – it is, but it’s much fainter. There’s another feeling that’s much stronger. It’s the feeling he had several days ago, when he didn’t know what to do and he didn’t want to do anything. It feels worse now. He has to wait for Cor to come back and for Noctis to come back. He doesn’t know when Cor will come back and Noctis won’t come back for a long time.

He sits back on the couch. He reads the messages from Noctis again. Then he picks up one of the books on the table. It’s one of the books Gladio gave him to learn about literature. He reads the text in the book. He reads much faster than normal. He’s five pages into the book before he realises he hasn’t understood anything that he’s read. He goes back to the beginning and tries to understand each image with the associated text. But even though he tries, he can’t keep his concentration from drifting.

He puts the book down.

He sits. He doesn’t think about anything. He can’t think of anything to think about. He wonders what the one with the black hair is doing. Whether she might come to see him. But nobody comes to see him. It’s very quiet.

He sits.

After a while, something strange happens. His thoughts slow down and then fade. He’s aware, but it’s like his awareness is blurred and unclear. He can feel his body, but he’s not sure he’d be able to move it if he tried. But he doesn’t try. He doesn’t want to try. It’s as if some of his systems have shut down. But he didn’t shut anything down. And he’s aware, in a blurred and unclear way, that none of his systems are disengaged. They’re just – not functioning as normal.

And he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t feel anything. So he stops thinking about it. He lets the blurriness increase. His thoughts disappear entirely. Everything is gone. There’s just him. He doesn’t feel anything.

Then: something happens outside the him that is floating and fading and blurred. Something violent and strange. It takes him a moment to identify it. Then, abruptly, everything is sharp and bright and he’s inside his body again. It feels painful. And someone’s shaking his body. Someone is gripping his shoulders and shaking his body. And shouting.

“Kid. Kid, wake the fuck up.”

He’s aware. Everything is bright and sharp, like a knife. Cor’s in front of him. Cor looks furious.

He blinks at Cor. It’s hard to see him well because of the shaking. But he can see that he looks furious. His heart starts beating very fast. It makes his chest hurt.

Cor stops shaking him. Cor stares into his face. He’s very close.

“You with me?” Cor asks.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. Speaking makes his throat hurt.

Cor closes his eyes. He lets go of his shoulders and stands up. He half-turns away, pressing the fingertips of his right hand into his closed eyes. He stands there for a moment. Then he straightens up and turns back.

“What the fuck, kid?” he says. He sounds angry. “You promised me you wouldn’t shut any of your systems down. You promised me.”

His mouth is dry. His heart is beating fast. He wants to tell Cor that he didn’t shut any of his systems down. But he can’t make the words come. He thinks that if he opens his mouth, he’ll just make some kind of noise. There won’t be any words. His stomach twists inside him. Cor came back. But now Cor’s angry.

“Shit,” Cor says. He turns away again. He strides over to the wall. Then he turns back and looks at the silent one. “And what the fuck were you doing?” he asks.

The silent one stands very straight with his chin up. “I didn’t realise he’d done anything, sir,” he says. “I, uh – I didn’t even know he could do – uh, that.”

“You didn’t see that something was wrong?” Cor asks. “You’re supposed to be watching him.”

“He just – he was just sitting there--” the silent one says. “Sir, I--”

“Get out,” Cor says. “Out of my sight. Send someone else. Preferably someone with two brain cells to rub together.”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. He leaves very quickly and closes the door very quietly. Even though he didn’t know the silent one and the silent one didn’t say anything to him, he feels worse now that the silent one has gone. Now it’s just him and Cor. And Cor’s angry.

But Cor doesn’t say anything. Cor just stands there. He doesn’t look at him. He’s facing away from him. He just stands. He’s breathing through his nose. He stands in silence for long enough that it makes him want to shout something so that it’s not so quiet. But he doesn’t shout anything. His voice feels like it’s lodged in his throat. His stomach is churning.

Then, Cor runs a hand through his hair and turns. He sits on the couch opposite him. He stares at him.

“You can’t do that,” he says. “You can’t shut stuff down. Got me? That’s an order.”

He looks at Cor. He doesn’t want to look because he doesn’t want to see how angry Cor is. But he can’t stop himself. Cor looks angry. But Cor looks tired as well. He doesn’t look better than he did yesterday.

“I gotta hear it from you, kid,” Cor says.

He opens his mouth. No words come out. He coughs. His throat is dry. “Yes, sir,” he says. It comes out in a whisper.

Cor stares at him. He stares and stares. Then, abruptly, he stands up. He turns away. “Where’s that fucking crownsguard,” he mutters. He takes a step. Then he staggers a little and catches hold of the back of the couch. It’s only a little. But he saw it. And he knows what it means. Cor is still too tired. He doesn’t know when Cor got up, but he didn’t sleep enough. Even though the one from the phone and the one with the white coat told him to sleep. It makes something twist and tighten in his chest.

The door opens and a silent one comes in. It’s not Arcis. He wants it to be Arcis. Or someone. Someone he knows who isn’t Cor. Because Cor’s angry at him and that makes him feel like all his insides are twisted up. And he didn’t shut his systems down. He didn’t shut them down. He obeyed orders, even though Cor left him on his own and he didn’t know when he was coming back. He could have shut his systems down, but he couldn’t because Cor told him not to. But Cor’s angry with him anyway. And the one from the phone ordered Cor to sleep but Cor didn’t sleep.

“I gotta go out for a few minutes,” Cor says to the silent one. “You watch him and if he starts to look like he’s zoning out, call me immediately, got it?”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. She glances at him, then stands to attention.

Cor’s going out. He’s going out again. He’s leaving him here on his own. And – and he didn’t sleep enough and – everything’s – everything feels – like something has to break. Like something has to break or he’ll break. He feels like he’ll break.

And: he reaches out and finds something to pick up. It’s a small flat square object from the small table. Cor puts cups on it sometimes. He picks it up. And he throws it. He doesn’t mean to. He doesn’t mean to do anything except obey orders. But he throws the object without realising he’s doing it. He throws it at the wall and it hits the wall with a clatter and then it lands on the floor. He didn’t mean to do it. But even though he’s done it, he isn’t scared. He’s something else. There’s something else, swelling in his chest and making him feel like he might break. Cor’s going out and he’ll be on his own. He’ll be on his own.

Cor and the silent one turn to look at where the object fell on the floor. Then they look at him. The silent one looks confused. Cor looks – amazed.

“Kid?” Cor says.

His hearing stops functioning. One minute, it’s functioning as normal. Then, all he can hear is a ringing chime. He puts his hands over his ears and closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to see Cor looking at him. Cor will be angry. He threw the object. It’s not – appropriate. Cor will be angry. But Cor’s already angry with him. He closes his eyes tighter. The ringing chime is loud. It’s good. He doesn’t want to hear what’s happening in the room. He doesn’t want to see. He wants to go back to the house by the park. He wants to go back to before he got lost. But if he can’t do that, then wants to go back to where he was before Cor came back. He didn’t feel anything or care about anything. It was good.

He feels someone touching his arm, then his head. But it feels like it’s happening a long way away. Maybe it’s happening to somebody else. He listens to the ringing chime. Everything feels like it’s – too much. It’s too much. And it’s not going to get better. He disobeyed orders and got lost and now he’s going to stay in the blue room forever and never go outside or cook with Ignis or see Noctis again.

Something in his stomach swoops and there’s a pain in his knees. And he can hear a noise outside the ringing chime. But then the noise goes quiet and he feels warm. He feels warm. So he doesn’t do anything. He just thinks about the warmth. His eyes are closed, but he’s not sure what’s happening to the rest of his body. But he feels warm.

After a while, things become clearer. It’s like swimming up through dark water. His eyes are still closed. He’s sitting on a hard surface. He’s leaning against something warm. Someone warm. Someone warm is supporting him. The someone is running their hand over his head and back. The ringing chime is quieter, and he hears a voice. It’s Cor.

“--right. It’s all right. It’s OK. We’ll figure this out, I promise. Everything’s going to be fine.”

He opens his eyes. He’s sitting on the floor in the blue room. His face is wet. His throat hurts. Cor is holding him. The silent one is standing nearby. She looks worried. She’s holding the yellow chocobo that Arcis gave him. When she sees him looking, she holds it out. She looks unsure.

“Uh – chocobo?” she says.

Cor stops talking. He stops holding him and pulls back, putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Kid?” he says. “You with me?”

Cor doesn’t look angry any more. He looks – something else. He thinks maybe he would have thought it was an angry expression before. But he’s seen lots of Cor’s expressions now and he doesn’t think it is any more. It’s something else. But he’s not sure what.

And Cor looks tired.

“Kid?” Cor says again.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. His throat hurts.

Cor closes his eyes. Then he pulls him in and holds him again. “OK,” he says. His voice is very low. “OK. That’s great. That’s great, kiddo.”

He looks over Cor’s shoulder at the silent one. She’s holding the chocobo in both hands and chewing her lip. He wishes Arcis was there.

Then nothing happens for a few minutes. They sit on the floor. Cor holds him. He’s not talking now. He’s just sitting. Sometimes he runs his hand over his hair. But mostly he just sits.

The ringing chime starts to fade away. He feels – like he’s floating. But not like before. He can feel his body and see everything that’s happening. But he doesn’t feel connected. Maybe the thing that felt like it was going to break finally broke. He hopes so.

There’s a knock at the door. Cor starts, then lets go of him. “Yeah, come in,” he says.

The silent one opens the door. The one with the white coat comes in. She stands for a moment looking at him. Then she steps forward.

“What happened?” she asks.

Cor gets to his feet. “Hell if I know,” he says. “Just – something’s wrong. He shut down some of his systems and then he was acting weird and then he – just started making this noise, like he was in pain. I don’t know – I don’t know.”

Cor sounds strange. He wants to think about the strangeness in Cor’s voice, but he can’t, because the one with the white coat is looking at him. She stands looking down at him, then, after a moment, she gets down and sits on the floor. Now they’re face to face. She just looks at him for a moment. Then she takes out the device she uses for listening to his heartbeat.

“Are you in pain?” she asks.

“No,” he says. He doesn’t feel as warm as he did when Cor was holding him. But he’s not in pain.

She glances up at Cor. Then she nods.

“Were you in pain earlier, when you had this – episode?” she asks.

He considers the question. It’s not entirely clear what she means by episode, but from contextual data he thinks she means when he closed his eyes and listened to the ringing chime. He doesn’t know what happened outside his head during that period of time. But he doesn’t think he was in pain. At least, not pain caused by any kind of injury or physical malfunction.

“No,” he says.

Cor sits down on the couch and frowns at him. He starts to say something, but the one with the white coat raises her hand and he stops.

“Can you describe to me exactly what happened?” she asks.

He stares at her. He tries to think how he can describe what happened. Then he shakes his head. “No,” he says.

She looks up at Cor. “Marshal?” she says.

Cor rubs a hand over his face. “Uh,” he says. “I was – I came back and – he’d shut down some of his systems, I don’t know which ones. And then he – I guess he restarted them again, and then he threw – uh--” He glances around, then points. “He threw that coaster at the wall, and then he just started – making this noise. And I couldn’t – he wouldn’t talk to me.” He shakes his head. His voice sounds strange.

The one with the white coat nods. She turns to him. “But you weren’t in any pain?” she asks.

“No,” he says.

“Which systems did you shut down?” the one with the white coat asks.

He swallows. He’s starting to feel less like he’s floating and more like he’s real. It’s not pleasant. “I didn’t shut down any systems,” he says.

“Huh?” Cor says, but the one with the white coat raises her hand again.

“Prompto,” she says, “I need you to tell me the truth. You won’t be in any trouble. Did you shut down any systems?”

“No,” he whispers. “I’m not permitted to shut down any systems.”

The one with the white coat looks up at Cor. “What made you think he’d shut down his systems?” she asks.

Cor just stares at her for a moment. Then he shakes his head. “Uh – he was just – zoned out. I came back and he was just sitting there staring at nothing. He didn’t seem to even know I was in the room. Like – like he wasn’t even in there.” He shakes his head again, then puts his head in his hands. “Fuck, what the hell is going on?” he mutters.

The one with the white coat nods. She puts the ends of the listening device into her ears. “All right, Prompto, you know the drill,” she says.

He does know the drill. The one with the white coat performs all the normal tests. He’s used to it now, so he knows how to prepare for each one and what sequence they occur in. So it doesn’t take very long. The one with the white coat writes down the results of each test, and when she’s finished, she looks at him, then at Cor.

“His hearing’s slightly less acute than usual, but other than that, what I’m seeing is--” she flips over the paper with the test results written on it, then flips it back. “Stress,” she says.

Cor frowns at her. “Stress?” he says.

“Have you asked Dr Fortis for her opinion?” the one with the white coat asks.

Cor’s face darkens. The one with the white coat sighs.

“I’m not qualified for this,” she says. “You need someone with psychiatric training.” She frowns at him. “Did you sleep last night?”

“Yeah,” Cor says.

The one with the white coat raises her eyebrows.

Cor coughs. “Some, anyway,” he says. “I slept all day, so I didn’t need a lot of sleep in the night.”

The one with the white coat nods. She opens a pad and writes something down. “I’m prescribing sleeping pills,” she says. “Take one every evening no more than half an hour before bed. And don’t think about skipping or I’ll be prescribing a potion next time.”

“What?” Cor says. “Doc, Prompto’s the one who needs medical attention.”

The one with the white coat nods. “I’m referring Prompto to a psychiatrist,” she says. “If not Dr Fortis, then you’ll have to negotiate with the Shield and the King concerning security clearance for someone else.” She tears the page off the pad and holds it out. “Is that all clear?”

Cor just stares at her for a moment. Then he reaches out and takes the paper.

“Good,” the one with the white coat says. She turns back to him. “Prompto, you look exhausted. Make sure you get some rest.”

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure what time it is. He doesn’t think he’s been awake for very many hours yet.

The one with the white coat nods, then stands up. She stops by the silent one. The silent one is still holding the chocobo. The one with the white coat takes it and turns back. She holds it out to him.

“It’s been a while since my psychiatric rotation in school, but I seem to recall these can be helpful for stress,” she says.

He looks at Cor. Cor sighs, then nods at him. So he takes the chocobo. He hugs it like Cor showed him. He still feels more real than he wants to, but it helps a little.

Then the one with the white coat leaves. He sits on the floor and hugs the chocobo. He can’t see anything except the yellow. He wonders what will happen next.

Then there’s a hand on his shoulder. He loosens his grip enough so that he can see over the top of the chocobo. Cor is looking at him.

“Kid,” Cor says. “You told the Doc the truth? You didn’t shut down any of your systems?”

“No,” he says. Half his vision is full of yellow. It’s a good colour. It reminds him of the plant with the yellow flowers. “I’m not permitted to shut down any systems.”

Cor closes his eyes and bows his head. He puts his hands behind his head and laces his fingers together. He sighs heavily. Then he takes a deep breath and stands up. He only stands up for a moment. Then he sits down on the floor facing him.

“I went off on you, huh?” he says.

He doesn’t know what Cor means. He watches him over the top of the chocobo to see what he’ll do next.

Cor nods. “Shit,” he mutters, looking at the floor. Then he looks at him. “Kid, I’m – I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I just – you scared the shit out of me.”

He swallows. He doesn’t know why Cor was scared. But – he’s glad Cor knows now that he didn’t shut any systems down. And Cor’s not angry with him any more. It’s good.

“Listen--” Cor says. Then he stops.

He waits. Cor’s not looking at him. He’s frowning at nothing. Then he gives a small nod. Then he looks at him.

“I shouldn’t have yelled,” he says. “I probably – I guess I probably scared you, huh?”

He doesn’t remember if he was scared. He remembers throwing the square object. He remembers that it happened even though he didn’t mean to do it.

“I’m sorry,” Cor says. “I don’t want – to scare you. I don’t want you to be scared any more. Especially not of me.”

He presses his face a little further into the chocobo. The yellow fills a little more of his vision.

Cor reaches out. He pushes the chocobo down. Now he can’t see anything except Cor.

“Are you scared of me?” Cor asks.

He tries to find the answer to the question. But he can’t find it. He doesn’t think he’s scared of Cor. But he thinks he was scared when Cor was angry. It doesn’t make sense.

“I – don’t know,” he says. “I don’t want you to be angry.”

Cor nods. “Yeah,” he says. “I know. I’m not angry, OK? I was an asshole and I’m sorry.”

He swallows. “What does asshole mean?” he asks.

The silent one makes a quiet noise. Cor closes his eyes then laughs quietly. “Yeah, OK, I walked into that one,” he says. Then he reaches out and pulls him forward. He holds him. The chocobo is in between them. The pressure causes it to shrink to less than half its normal volume. It’s a strange object. But he’s glad Arcis gave it to him.

Then Cor stops holding him. “OK,” he says. He takes his arm and pulls him up until he’s sitting on the couch. He glances at the silent one. “Get the kid some water,” he says. Then he takes out his phone. He taps the screen and puts it to his ear. He waits a moment. Then he speaks.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says. He pauses. “Yeah, I know. I haven’t changed my mind. But – I need your help. We need your help. So – can we just put it on hold for now?” He listens for a moment. “Yeah, great. Yeah, he’s here. Hang on.”

He takes the phone away from his ear and holds it out. “For you,” he says.

He takes the phone and puts it to his ear. He hopes it’s Noctis. “Hello?” he says.

“Prompto,” says the voice at the end of the line. It’s the one with the black hair. Dr Fortis. She’s Dr Fortis. And she’s there. She on the other end of the line. Suddenly, he feels completely real again. He feels like he might cry.

“Hello,” he says. His voice breaks a little. Everything feels – too real. It’s all too real.

“I understand you’ve been having some difficulties?” Dr Fortis says. She sounds calm. She sounds like she always does.

Difficulties. Yes. He’s been having difficulties. “Yes,” he says.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dr Fortis says. “If you like – and if the Marshal will permit it – I could come and talk to you about them? Perhaps I can be of some help.”

“Yes,” he whispers. Then he realises what she said. He looks at Cor. “Can she come?” he asks.

Cor takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, then lets it all out in one go. “Yeah,” he says. “OK, kid.”

“Yes,” he says. Then he says it again. “Yes, Cor says you can come.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Dr Fortis says. “Let’s see, I can move that and – hm, I could be with you in two hours?”

“Yes,” he says. He wants her to come sooner, but it’s good that she’s coming at all.

“Well, I--” Dr Fortis says, but then Cor reaches out and takes the phone away from him.

“OK, Doc, ground rules,” he says, and then he walks out of the room. He closes the door and it’s quiet. But he doesn’t have time to think about how quiet he is, because Cor comes back in less than two minutes later, putting the phone in his pocket as he walks into the room. He closes the door and looks at him. Then he comes and sits next to him on the couch. He puts his arm around his shoulders.

“Guess I really messed up this time, huh?” he says.

He doesn’t completely understand the question, so he doesn’t answer it. But he thinks he ought to tell Cor what Dr Fortis said.

“She said she’ll be here in two hours,” he says.

Cor tightens his grip on his shoulders.

“OK,” he says. “OK.”

Chapter 50

Notes:

Thank you all for your lovely comments ♥ They really brighten my day and I'm still pretty busy at work so it's lovely to take a break and see that someone's dropped by to say hello :)

And: Wordsmythologic has made another song! This one is about Prompto's Feelings About Music, which, I think we can all agree, are A Lot. It's really atmospheric and makes me think of Prompto on the couch on his first day listening to the music Ignis puts on the stereo and falling asleep, awwww. You can listen to it here. Please give the composer all the love!

And now, on with the show...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It’s been a little less than two hours when there’s a knock at the door. Cor hasn’t said very much in the time they’ve been waiting, but he hasn’t left, either. He’s been sitting next to him on the couch with his arm around his shoulders, except sometimes when he’s got up to fetch food or water. So it’s not been as bad. He’s not felt as bad as he did before, when Cor was gone and he was on his own. But even so, when the knock comes he sits up straighter. The one with the black hair. Dr Fortis. She’ll explain everything.

The silent one opens the door and Dr Fortis comes in. She looks the same – calm and smiling. He feels something loosen in his chest. He looks at Cor, waiting for him to leave so that he can talk to Dr Fortis. But Cor doesn’t leave straight away.

“Marshal,” Dr Fortis says. Then she smiles at him. “Prompto. I’m so happy to see you again.”

“Yes,” he says. He considers whether he’s happy, too. But he doesn’t think he’s happy. He doesn’t feel as bad as he did this morning, but he still feels bad. So he’s not happy. But seeing Dr Fortis makes him feel – something. Better than he did before. So that’s good. “I feel better to see you,” he says.

Cor looks round at him and raises his eyebrows. Dr Fortis’s smile widens, then she quickly covers her mouth with her hand. When she removes it, she looks like she did before.

“I’m very glad,” she says. Then she turns to Cor. “Marshal?”

Cor stands up. But he doesn’t leave straight away. He just stands, looking at her and then at him.

“I remember the ground rules, Marshal,” Dr Fortis says. “You don’t have to be concerned about me breaking them.”

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. He stands still for a moment longer. “Yeah, OK.” He reaches out and rubs his head. “You need anything, you call me, OK, kid?” he says. “You have my number.”

He looks at the phone where it’s sitting on the low table in front of the couch. He can call Cor if he needs to. So if he gets lost again, he can call Cor. “Yes,” he says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “OK, Crownsguard, let’s give the lady some privacy.”

Cor leaves and the silent one goes with him. Dr Fortis sits down on the couch opposite and smiles at him.

“I’m afraid the Marshal hasn’t told me very much about what happened this morning that caused him to be so upset,” she says. “In fact, I haven’t heard about anything that’s happened to you since I last saw you. Why don’t you tell--”

“Cor fell over,” he says. He knows he should wait to hear what her question is going to be, but there are so many things he needs her to explain and they all come crowding into his mouth at once. “He didn’t sleep enough and then he fell over. He got hurt. But he still isn’t sleeping enough. And he was angry with me for shutting down my systems, but I didn’t shut them down. And I keep trying to do things but I can’t do them. And I threw--” he casts around for the correct word “--an object, and I don’t know why. And I felt bad.” He takes a breath. “I feel bad,” he says. Then he waits for her to explain.

Dr Fortis is writing very fast. When he stops speaking, she keeps writing for a few moments. Then she looks down at her pad of paper for a few moments more. Then she looks at him.

“Well, there’s quite a lot here,” she says. “Hm. Cor fell over?”

“Yes,” he says. “Yesterday morning.”

“Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened,” Dr Fortis says.

He swallows. He thinks about yesterday morning. “Cor was in the bathroom,” he says. “Then he fell over. I went in and he was sitting on the floor. And he was hurt.”

“Hurt how?” Dr Fortis says.

“I don’t know,” he says. “He said he wasn’t hurt. But he looked – his face looked – like he was hurt. And the one with the white coat said it was because he didn’t sleep enough. He needs to sleep to maintain himself in optimal condition.”

“I see,” Dr Fortis says. “But you say he still isn’t sleeping enough?”

“No,” he says. “He’s not maintaining himself appropriately. I don’t understand.”

“No, I can see why you wouldn’t,” Dr Fortis says. She looks at her paper and taps her pen against her lips. “How do you feel about what happened to Cor?” she asks.

He stares at her. He wants her to explain why Cor is failing to maintain itself. But instead she asked him how he feels. He doesn’t know how he feels. He feels – bad.

“I feel bad,” he says.

“Can you describe your feelings in any more detail?” she asks. “Are you scared, for example, or worried?”

“Yes,” he says. Then he remembers that he’s not permitted to worry about Cor. “I – I’m not worried,” he says. But then he remembers that he’s not permitted to lie when he’s talking to Dr Fortis. His stomach starts to twist. “I--” he says.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Dr Fortis says. She’s not smiling any more. “Remember that you don’t have to answer anything unless you’re comfortable with doing so.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” He doesn’t have to answer. So he doesn’t have to say if he’s worried or not worried. His heart starts to beat a little more slowly. He thinks about how he feels. He thinks about how he wants Dr Fortis to explain everything to him. But she can’t explain if she doesn’t have all the contextual data. And she won’t tell Cor anyway. She won’t tell anyone.

“I’m not permitted to worry about Cor,” he says. “But I – I keep – worrying anyway.” He looks at her. “How can I stop worrying?”

Dr Fortis writes something down. “You’re not permitted to worry?” she asks. “Did someone forbid you from worrying?”

“Yes,” he says. “Cor ordered me not to worry. And Arcis. And – Noctis.” He’s not sure if Noctis is permitted to give him orders, but he thinks it’s probably a good thing to follow any orders he gives anyway, unless they conflict with orders from someone else.

“Did they specifically say you’re not permitted to worry, or did they phrase it in some other way?” Dr Fortis asks.

He tries to remember. “Cor said don’t worry. And Arcis said I shouldn’t worry. And Noctis said I don’t have to worry.” He’s not completely sure if Noctis was giving him an order or not. But it doesn’t matter, because Cor and Arcis said it, too.

“I see,” Dr Fortis says. She folds her hands on her knees. “Prompto – sometimes, when people from our culture talk to each other, we use what you might interpret as orders, but they’re not intended to be taken that way.”

He stares at her. “I don’t understand,” he says. Orders are orders. He doesn’t understand.

“Well, for example,” Dr Fortis says, “I might say enjoy your meal. But even though I phrased it as an order, it really means that I hope you enjoy your meal. It might be a wish, or a preference. It’s a very common way of speaking.”

He opens his mouth. Then he closes it. He feels – something. Something bubbling, like before when he threw the object. But less bad. He doesn’t want to throw anything. He just wants – things to make more sense. “I don’t understand,” he says again. “How can – how do you know what’s an order and what’s not an order?”

“We use our experience and contextual data to determine the intent of the speaker,” Dr Fortis says. “Occasionally we interpret incorrectly, but most of the time, it’s clear.”

His heart sinks. “But I don’t have the contextual data,” he says. He still can’t really understand how an order could not be an order, but if it can, then he needs to have some way to distinguish them so that he doesn’t behave incorrectly. But he already knows that he’s not capable of determining intent. And he doesn’t have the contextual data. He’s trying to learn, but it’s taking a long time.

“I know,” Dr Fortis says. “I’m afraid this is something we should have addressed some time ago, but I didn’t foresee it.” She sits for a moment, looking like she’s thinking. “Well, perhaps we can – institute some kind of system whereby it’s made clear to you,” she says. “I don’t think it would be impossible, with the cooperation of all your friends.”

He doesn’t know what friends means, but it’s good that she thinks it isn’t impossible. It feels impossible. It feels impossible that orders aren’t always orders. It feels as though – everything he understood is wrong.

“Prompto,” Dr Fortis says, “I imagine this is quite a difficult thing for you, given how important orders have been in your life – please stop me if I’m incorrect – but I want you to consider this: you’ve been with us for some time now without knowing this and it hasn’t led to any major problems. Everyone who knows you will make allowances for you, of that I’m quite certain.”

He sits. She’s quite certain. And – it’s true. He didn’t know before that some orders aren’t orders at all, but he’s never been corrected for misunderstanding. He hasn’t been corrected for anything.

“When they’re not orders – is it incorrect to perform them?” he asks.

Dr Fortis smiles. “Not at all,” she says. “As I said, most of the time, something phrased as an order is a wish or a preference on the part of the person. It may be a hope that you will feel a certain way. But it doesn’t carry a sense of obligation. There’s no failure on your part if you don’t feel that way. We can’t control how we feel, Prompto.”

He shakes his head. He can’t control how he feels. He feels so many things now and he can’t control any of them. But he hoped – he thought maybe she would be able to teach him to control them. So he doesn’t have to feel so many things.

“Humans can’t control how they feel?” he asks.

Dr Fortis doesn’t say anything for a moment. When she does speak, it’s slower than usual. “We can’t control what we feel,” she says. “But we can learn to manage feelings that are causing us difficulties. For example: if a friend of mine were to fall ill, then I would naturally be worried about them. But if that worry took over all my thoughts and activities, then it would cause me a lot of difficulty. I can’t prevent myself from worrying about my friend, but I can learn how to manage those feelings so that I can live with them. Do you understand?”

He thinks about Cor. About worrying about Cor. And then – he’s not sure any more. Because when he said he wasn’t permitted to worry about Cor, she told him that some orders aren’t orders. So now he doesn’t know.

“Am I permitted to worry about Cor?” he asks.

“Yes,” Dr Fortis says. “In fact, given what you’ve told me, I would be surprised if you weren’t worried about him.”

He thinks. He remembers Arcis saying that he got it when he told him he kept worrying by mistake. So Arcis must know that he can’t control what he feels. But does Cor know?

“Does Cor agree that I’m permitted to worry about him?” he asks.

“Hm,” Dr Fortis says. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you what Cor thinks – you’d have to ask him that. But I think he probably wishes that you wouldn’t worry because he wants you to feel good, and that means that he wouldn’t want you to feel even worse because you’re worried about worrying.”

“Oh,” he says. It’s confusing, but he thinks he understands. But she doesn’t know if Cor agrees or not. And Cor was the one who gave him the order. So – he needs to know what Cor thinks. “Can I ask him?” he asks.

“Of course,” Dr Fortis says.

He reaches for the phone and starts to investigate how to call Cor. Dr Fortis looks a little surprised, but then she stops looking surprised and just waits. He discovers the appropriate commands and taps on the part of the screen that says Cor. And he feels – something. A strange feeling in his stomach. It feels fluttery, like a bird is in there. He’s never called anyone on a phone before.

“Kid, you OK?” Cor says in his ear.

“Hello,” he says. He can’t remember what he wanted to say. He’s never called anyone before.

“Kid?” Cor says. He sounds angry.

He remembers what he wanted to say. “Dr Fortis says that you didn’t mean I’m not permitted to worry about you,” he says. “Is it correct?”

“Huh?” Cor says. There’s a pause. “I didn’t mean – uh, I didn’t mean it when?”

“When you said don’t worry about me,” he says. “Dr Fortis says I’m still permitted to worry and it doesn’t count as disobeying orders.”

He hears Cor blow out his breath. “Yeah, the Doc is right,” he says. “I mean – you shouldn’t worry about me because I can take care of myself.”

The answer isn’t clear. “Does I shouldn’t worry mean it’s an order or a wish?” he asks.

“Uh...” Cor says. “Listen – kid, don’t feel bad about worrying, OK? The last thing you need is more stress.”

The answer still isn’t clear. “Am I permitted to worry about you?” he asks. He hopes that making a simple question will mean he receives a simple answer.

“Shit,” Cor mutters. “Yeah, kid. If you can’t help yourself, then – yeah, I guess you just gotta go ahead. But seriously, I can take care of myself.”

The answer was longer and more complicated than he’d hoped, but it was clear: he’s permitted to worry. So that’s good.

“Thank you,” he says, and taps the part of the screen that ends the call. Then he puts the phone back down on the table. “He said I’m permitted to worry,” he says.

“Good,” Dr Fortis says. “Well, later we’ll think about how we can help you to distinguish between orders and other types of communication, but for now...” She looks back at her paper. “Hm. What about – Cor thought you shut down your systems?”

“Yes,” he says. “He thought it this morning. He was angry. But I didn’t shut them down.”

“I see,” Dr Fortis says. “Do you know why he thought you shut them down?”

He thinks about the question. He thinks about what happened to him in the morning. It isn’t the first time it’s happened. It feels a little like when his systems are shut down, but it isn’t the same. He knows it isn’t the same because he checked and all his systems were engaged. “I – something happened,” he says. “I don’t know what it was.”

“Something?” Dr Fortis asks. “An external event?”

“No,” he says. There were no external events. Nothing happened at all. “My – something happened in my – my head. A – a malfunction.” It’s odd. Not very long ago he would have been scared to tell anyone about a malfunction. But now – but it’s different, now. He told Dr Fortis about the malfunction that makes him move around when he’s asleep, and that malfunction is much more serious than this one. This one just makes his thoughts move strangely. It makes time go faster, so it’s a useful malfunction.

“Can you describe how this malfunction felt?” Dr Fortis asks.

He thinks about how to describe it. “My thoughts – disengaged,” he says. “And then – I didn’t feel real any more. And time went by more quickly.” He pauses. “It was good.”

Dr Fortis is writing something down, but her pen pauses. She looks up at him, then looks down and finishes writing. Then she lays down her paper.

“It was good?” she says. “What was good about it?”

“Time went by more quickly,” he says. “There was a lot of time, so it was good that it went quickly.”

Dr Fortis doesn’t say anything for a moment. She’s not smiling any more. “Can you describe to me what you did this morning before this – incident?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “I got out of bed and took a shower. Then I got dressed. Then I sat on the couch.” He tries to remember if he did anything else. “I tried to read a book, but I – couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t?” Dr Fortis asks. “You couldn’t understand it?”

“No, I--” he frowns. “I couldn’t – maintain concentration.” He didn’t really think about it at the time, but he thinks perhaps that’s a malfunction, too. He ought to be able to maintain concentration. “So I stopped.”

“What did you do when you stopped trying to read?” Dr Fortis asks.

“I sat on the couch,” he says.

Dr Fortis nods slowly. “And where was Cor when all this was happening?”

“He was somewhere else,” he says. “He had to take care of some things.”

“So you were alone,” Dr Fortis says.

“No,” he says. “The silent one was here. But he didn’t say anything.”

“The silent one?” Dr Fortis asks.

“The one who stands by the door,” he says. “It was a new one this morning. It wasn’t Arcis.”

“So it was just you and a Crownsguard who didn’t interact with you at all?” Dr Fortis says. “And you couldn’t maintain concentration on any task, and then your thoughts disengaged?”

“Yes,” he says. “And then Cor came back and thought I shut down my systems. But I didn’t shut them down.”

Dr Fortis looks at her paper. She taps her pen against her lips. “Prompto, do you know what bored means?” she asks.

He hesitates. People have used the word bored a number of times when speaking to him, but he’s never been able to understand what it means. “I – it’s – something bad,” he says.

Dr Fortis nods. “It’s what happens when there’s a lack of new stimuli in your day-to-day existence,” she says. “It’s a feeling of – restlessness, where things that you used to enjoy aren’t enjoyable any more and you find it hard to focus and dedicate yourself to any task.”

He stares at her. “Oh,” he says. He didn’t know there were feelings like that. It’s not a simple feeling, like being happy or being scared. It doesn’t make sense that things that were enjoyable before wouldn’t be enjoyable any more. But at the same time--

“Is that – was I bored?” he says.

“I don’t know for sure,” Dr Fortis says, “but that’s certainly what it sounds like to me.” She looks around. “You’ve been here ever since Cor found you at the police station, is that right?”

“Yes,” he says.

Dr Fortis nods. “And what do you do all day?” she asks.

“I--” He stops. He doesn’t have an answer to the question. He can’t think of anything he does. “I sit,” he says. “Sometimes I-- look at the plants.”

“There isn’t anyone who comes to spend time with you?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Yes,” he says. “Arcis comes. Sometimes he plays cards with me. And Noctis sends me messages on the phone. And Gladio came once to show me the books.”

“And Cor?” she asks.

“Yes, Cor sits with me,” he says.

“He doesn’t talk to you or play games with you?” she asks.

“He talks to me sometimes,” he says. “He doesn’t say very much.”

Dr Fortis purses her lips. Then her face smooths out. “Well,” she says, “that does sound like the ideal situation for boredom.” She pauses. “Do you know what lonely means?”

He shakes his head. He waits for her to explain it.

“It’s when we feel bad because we spend too much time without making meaningful connections with other people,” Dr Fortis says. “Sometimes simply because we spend too much time alone, but at other times because although we have interactions with other people, they aren’t meaningful. Do you understand?”

He thinks about what she said. “What’s a meaningful connection?” he asks. Meaningful means having meaning, but he doesn’t understand how she’s using it in this context.

“Hm,” Dr Fortis says. “I would say it depends rather a lot on the person. For example, if you spend time in the same room as a Crownsguard that you’ve never met before, and perhaps you exchange one or two sentences, that may not feel very meaningful. But if you spend time in a room with Arcis and you exchange one or two sentences, that might feel a lot more meaningful. Sometimes it’s about the amount you speak or how complex the things you’re expressing are, but sometimes it’s simply about how close you feel to the person you’re speaking to. Connections are generally more meaningful when they’re with people that we care about – that we feel affection for.”

“Oh,” he says. It’s complicated. Everything to do with emotions is complicated. He feels tired.

Dr Fortis looks at him without saying anything for a moment. Then she smiles. “I want to give you an assignment,” she says. “I want you to consider the interactions you have with people each day and categorise them as meaningful or not meaningful. Don’t be concerned if you find it difficult at first. I think that the process of thinking about the question will help you to become better at answering it.”

“Yes,” he says. The way she says it, each day, makes him feel tired. He thinks about all the days stretching out ahead of him in the blue room and he feels tired.

Dr Fortis is watching him. But she doesn’t say anything. It’s quiet. Then she looks down at her paper.

“You threw an object?” she says.

“Yes,” he says. It feels like an effort to say it. He looks around the room. The square object is still on the floor. “That object,” he says, pointing.

She looks at the object. Then she looks at him. “And you don’t know why you did it?”

“No,” he says. “I thought Cor would be angry. But he wasn’t.”

Dr Fortis frowns slightly. “Can you give me some more details?” she asks.

He tries to remember exactly what happened. It’s difficult. His memories are muddled, even though it only happened a few hours ago. “Cor was angry with me for shutting my systems down,” he says. “And then a new silent one came but it wasn’t Arcis. And Cor was still hurt. And then Cor was going out again, even though he only just came back. And then – I threw the object.” He looks at her. “I don’t know why.”

Dr Fortis is writing. She keeps writing for a moment. Then she looks at what she’s written. Then she looks at him.

“How did you feel when Cor was angry with you for something that you didn’t do?” she asks.

He thinks about the question. He remembers that he had a feeling, but he doesn’t know how to describe it. He thinks he should have been scared – he was scared. But that wasn’t everything.

“I was scared,” he says. “And – something else. I felt bad.”

“You felt bad because you were scared?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Yes, but – not just scared,” he says. “I felt another kind of bad. But I don’t know what.”

“This other kind of bad,” Dr Fortis says, “did it get worse before you threw the coaster – the object?”

He tries to remember. There was – something. A tightening feeling in his chest. It got tighter and tighter. And his thoughts got loud and went in circles. And it got worse until he threw the object. “Yes,” he says. He wants her to explain why he threw the object. He wants her to have as much contextual data as possible so she can explain. So he thinks as hard as he can about the feeling. “I – think I had the feeling before,” he says. “I felt bad in the same way.”

Dr Fortis looks briefly surprised. “Can you tell me about the other times?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “Only – it’s only been in the last few days. It’s like – something tight in my chest and my stomach. Tight or – bubbling. Like it’s bubbling up and it’s – filling up my chest. And – it makes me want to shout or throw things. But it doesn’t make any sense. There’s no reason to shout or throw anything.”

“Was this morning the first time you threw something?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Yes,” he says. “But I wanted to before. I don’t know why.”

Dr Fortis taps her pen against her lips. “Can you remember what was happening around you when you felt this way before?” she asks.

He tries to think. It’s hard. Even though it’s something that’s only started happening in the last few days, time seems to stretch out much longer than before now and it feels like a long time ago. But--

“Cor said it’s nothing to worry about,” he says. “And I felt it then.”

Dr Fortis writes something down. “Was he talking about his – falling over?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “He keeps – saying it’s nothing. But it’s not nothing. He failed to maintain himself correctly and he won’t – he doesn’t – he still won’t – maintain himself.” And there: he feels it. The bubbling feeling. He wants – to tell Dr Fortis, because maybe she can help him understand why Cor is behaving so illogically. “He keeps saying it’s nothing,” he says. “He says it. But he fell over and the one with the white coat told him it wasn’t nothing. But he says it anyway. I don’t understand.”

He takes a breath. He feels – like he might cry. The bubbling in his chest is worse. He stares at Dr Fortis. He waits for her to explain it.

Dr Fortis is staring at him, too. She looks surprised. Usually, when she looks surprised, the expression goes away quickly. But this time she looks surprised for several seconds. Then she puts her pen down and folds her hands over her knees.

“Prompto,” she says, “have you ever been angry before?”

He shakes his head. “I’m an MT unit,” he says. “MT units can’t get angry.” He waits. He doesn’t want her to ask him questions. He wants her to tell him why Cor is failing to maintain himself correctly.

“I see,” she says. She looks at her paper for a moment. “Am I right in thinking there are certain other things that an MT unit can’t or shouldn’t do that you’ve done nonetheless?”

He stares at her. He shakes his head again. “I don’t understand,” he says. Maybe he hasn’t been clear enough. “MT units can’t get angry,” he says again.

“Well,” Dr Fortis says, “let’s think about this from another angle. Do you know what frustration means?”

He hesitates. “No,” he says.

“It’s when you feel bad because you want something to change or to happen, but it doesn’t,” she says. “Particularly when you’re not able to do anything about it yourself. Sometimes it can make you feel – annoyed.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t know annoyed. But the explanation’s clear. “What sort of change?” he asks.

“Well, for example,” Dr Fortis says, “if I have a friend who has poor health, and I want them to take better care of themself because I’m frightened they’ll get hurt, but they keep not taking their health very seriously. I can’t make them take care of their health, so there’s nothing I can do. That might make me feel frustrated.”

He stares at her. It’s the second time she’s mentioned a friend who behaves like Cor. “Is Cor a friend?” he asks.

Dr Fortis smiles. “Well, I suppose that wasn’t very subtle,” she says. “But what I mean to say, Prompto, is that if I were in your situation I would be frustrated by Cor. And frustration can make you feel – annoyed, and annoyance and frustration together can certainly make you want to throw things or shout. So I think it’s possible that that’s what you’re feeling.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t completely understand – he needs to think about it some more. But from her description it sounds right. And – it feels good to have a name for the feeling, even if he still doesn’t fully understand it. “I’m frustrated. And annoyed. Am I?”

“Quite possibly,” Dr Fortis says. “I think that earlier today, you might have had several different sources of – annoyance all at once, which perhaps is why you threw the object.”

“Oh,” he says. “Will I throw any more objects?”

“I can’t say for sure,” Dr Fortis says. “But I can certainly try to help you to manage your frustration so that it’s less overwhelming.”

“Yes,” he said. “That’s good.”

Dr Fortis smiles at him. “Do you know, Prompto, it’s quite remarkable to think how much you’ve changed since I first met you.”

“Oh,” he says. He tries to remember when he first met her. He remembers she gave him the test. He performed poorly. He remembers he was scared. And then Noctis gave him the wristband and he felt better. He looks down at it. The silver catches the light. He wonders if Noctis is back from school yet.

“Now,” says Dr Fortis, “is that why Cor sounded so upset when he called me? Because you threw the object?”

“No,” he says. “It was because – something happened. Everything – went away. And when it came back Cor was upset.”

“Everything went away?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Yes,” he says. “After I threw the object. My hearing malfunctioned and then I closed my eyes and I felt – bad. I felt really bad. And I didn’t know what was happening. I couldn’t see anything or hear anything. And when I could see and hear again I was on the floor and Cor was holding me and he was upset.” He looks at her. “Maybe he was – frustrated.”

She smiles a little, but she doesn’t look as happy as she usually does when she smiles. “I imagine he was very worried,” she says. “It sounds like it would have been a frightening thing to watch.”

“Oh,” he says. He hadn’t thought about what it might have looked like from outside when everything went away. He tries to imagine it. But he doesn’t know what it looked like. He doesn’t know how he ended up on the floor. “You think Cor was frightened?” He doesn’t think Cor was frightened. But he knows now that Cor is scared sometimes. So maybe he was. It’s hard to imagine it.

“I--” Dr Fortis says, but then there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” she says.

The door opens and Cor comes in. “You guys about done?” he says.

Dr Fortis raises her eyebrows and purses her lips. Then she smiles.

“Excellent,” she says, “you’ve arrived just in time, Marshal. I was about to suggest something to Prompto.”

“Uh-huh,” Cor says. “You need me to leave?”

“Not at all,” she says. “In fact, I need you to stay. Prompto, I was wondering if you’d consent to having a session with all three of us – I mean me, you and the Marshal. I think we could progress significantly faster that way.”

He looks at Cor. The rule is that she won’t tell Cor anything that happens when they talk. But if Cor’s there then things will be different. He feels – like he doesn’t know if he wants that. Even though he usually wants Cor to be there.

“Thanks, Doc, but I don’t think that’s necessary,” Cor says. “I’m sure you can get along just fine without me.”

“Well, it’s not so much a question of whether we can manage without you as whether it might be fruitful to have you present,” Dr Fortis says.

“Yeah, I get it,” Cor says. “Listen, maybe some other time, OK? I got a lot of things to do right now.”

Dr Fortis doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then she stands up and turns to him. “Well, I hope we can continue our conversation soon,” she says. She glances at Cor.

“I’ll call you later,” Cor says. “About Prompto.”

Dr Fortis nods. Then she turns to leave.

He doesn’t want her to leave. He’s tired, but – she was going to tell him something. And then Cor came back and he – wouldn’t talk to her and now she’s leaving. He doesn’t understand why Cor doesn’t want her to talk to him any more. It makes him feel – frustrated. It makes him feel frustrated.

She closes the door behind her. Cor sighs and closes his eyes a moment. He looks tired. Then he turns to him.

“You’re looking a lot better,” he says. “How’re you feeling?”

He considers the question. “I feel frustrated and annoyed,” he says. “And bored and lonely.” He realises he doesn’t actually know if he feels lonely. “I don’t know if I feel lonely,” he adds.

Cor stares at him. He stares. Then he sits down heavily on the couch. He runs a hand over his head. “Shit,” he mutters. Then he pulls out his phone. He taps the screen and puts it to his ear. “Yeah, Doc?” he says. “I changed my mind. Yeah, I know. I’m an asshole. You still have time? OK, great.” He puts the phone back in his pocket and turns to him. “She’s coming back,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t expect her to come back. “Good.”

~

Dr Fortis comes back quickly. She smiles at him as she walks in. Then she looks at Cor. She doesn’t stop smiling. But her face is different somehow. He wonders why it’s different.

“Marshal,” she says. She sits down. Cor is sitting where she was sitting before, on the couch opposite him. So she sits in a soft chair that’s oriented orthogonally to both couches.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “Listen, I don’t – need therapy, just – help me out with the kid, OK?”

Dr Fortis raises her eyebrows slightly. But she doesn’t stop smiling. “Of course,” she says. She turns to him. “Prompto, we’ll need some new ground rules for sessions involving Cor. Agreed?”

He hesitates, then nods. It makes sense that there would be different rules. Cor is very high-ranking, although he’s still not sure whether Dr Fortis outranks him. So things would have to be different.

“First of all, I must reiterate that I won’t mention anything you’ve told me during our solo sessions in this or any other session with Cor,” Dr Fortis says. “And Marshal, I won’t mention anything you or Prompto tells me in these sessions to anyone else. The two of you, of course, are not bound by doctor-patient confidentiality, but I think things will flow more smoothly if each of you promises not to mention anything the other said. That way we can all speak freely.”

Cor coughs. “Yeah, sure,” he says. He looks at him. “I promise.”

“Yes,” he says. “I promise.” He looks at her. “Can I mention things you say?” Sometimes he wants to ask Ignis about things that Dr Fortis says, like about affection.

“Yes, as long as it’s something about yourself and not about Cor,” Dr Fortis says. “Agreed?”

“Yes,” he says. “I understand.” He’s glad that she won’t talk about the things he’s said to her before. It makes him feel – less bad.

“Good,” Dr Fortis says. “Now, Marshal, since I haven’t spoken to you in a formal setting before, you need to know that the other ground rules are that I will not judge you or think badly of you for anything you say, and that you’re permitted not to answer questions, but I ask that you please don’t lie during these sessions.”

Cor raises his eyebrows. “Permitted?” he says.

“That’s right,” Dr Fortis says. She smiles. “Do you agree to the ground rules?”

Cor stares at her for a moment. Then he sighs. “Yeah, OK, whatever,” he says.

“Good.” She turns back to him. “And you understand the rules?”

“Yes,” he says. They’re not that different. He’s glad there are clear rules.

“Well, then,” Dr Fortis says. “Marshal, I understand Prompto had some kind of incident this morning?”

Cor blows out his breath and closes his eyes. “Yeah, you could say that,” he says.

“Could you tell me what you experienced?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Uh--” Cor says. He frowns. “I came back from a meeting and he – was just – checked out. Like, staring into space, didn’t respond when I spoke to him, you know. And I--” He chews his lip. “I maybe lost it a little.”

“What did you do?” Dr Fortis asks.

“I – yelled at him, and shook him,” Cor says. He looks at him. “I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You yelled at him before he started responding again, or afterwards?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Uh – both,” Cor says. “Both.” He rubs a hand over his head.

“And why did you do that?” Dr Fortis asks.

Cor looks at her and makes a strange face like he doesn’t understand why she’s asking. “Because – he wasn’t responding?”

“Could you be more specific about the connection between his not responding and your yelling?” Dr Fortis asks. “What was it about his non-response that caused you to yell?”

Cor stares at her. She smiles. “Please, Marshal,” she says. “Indulge me.”

Cor shakes his head. “Fucking – OK, fine,” he says. “I yelled because--” He takes a deep breath. “I was scared. And pissed. But mostly scared.”

He looks at Cor. He remembers Cor saying he was scared before. But he didn’t know why Cor was scared, and he didn’t understand. And he remembers Dr Fortis telling him that sometimes when people seem angry, they’re really scared. But – he doesn’t understand.

“Pissed?” Dr Fortis says.

“Yeah,” Cor says. Dr Fortis raises her eyebrows. Cor glances at him. “I mean, uh – angry,” Cor says.

Oh. So Cor was angry. That makes sense. That’s what he thought. But – Cor said he was mostly scared. That wasn’t what he thought at all.

“Can you tell me why you were scared?” Dr Fortis asks.

Cor closes his eyes. “I mean, the kid can shut his systems down, Doc,” he says. “If he shuts down too many, he could die. Isn’t it pretty obvious?”

Dr Fortis smiles. “Why don’t you pretend I don’t understand anything about how human emotions work,” she says. “Please explain to me in more detail.”

Cor scrubs his hands over his face. “OK, fine,” he says. “Shit. OK. I was scared because I thought he’d shut his systems down and – it scares me that he can do that.”

“Why does it scare you?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Oh, for--” Cor mutters. “Because if he shuts too many down, he could die.”

“So the idea of Prompto dying scares you?” Dr Fortis asks.

Cor stares at her. “Yeah, Doc,” he says after a moment. “Yeah, it scares me.”

He frowns. It hadn’t occurred to him that Cor might be scared of the idea of him dying. He knows he’s scared of it, but he didn’t know Cor was scared of it, too. He wonders why.

“And why does it scare you?” Dr Fortis asks. He’s glad she’s here. She asks good questions, and it makes him feel better to think that he’s not the only one who doesn’t understand why Cor does things.

Cor looks like he’s about to stand up, but then he doesn’t. He seems agitated, like he can’t sit still. He lets out his breath all at once. “Fuck me,” he says. “Because he’s – because I care about him. I mean, isn’t it obvious?”

“To me, perhaps,” Dr Fortis says. Cor frowns. Then he turns to look at him.

“Kid?” he says. “You know that I care about you, right?”

“Yes,” he says. “You feel affection for me.” Cor told him that in the park. It feels like a long time ago, but it wasn’t that long ago.

“Right,” Cor says, looking back at Dr Fortis.

Dr Fortis turns to him. She smiles. “Prompto,” she says, “did you understand that Cor was scared of you shutting down your systems because he cares about you and that means he doesn’t want you to die?”

“No,” he says. He’s not sure he understands all the connections. But he knows more now, at least. He looks at Cor. “I didn’t shut down my systems,” he says.

Cor’s just staring at him. “You didn’t get that?” he says. “I mean – you didn’t get why I was scared?”

“No,” he says. “I didn’t know you were scared. I thought you were angry.”

Cor’s still staring. “Kid,” he says, then he shakes his head. “I told you I was scared,” he says. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“Yes,” he says. “But I didn’t – know what it was you were scared of.”

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment or two. Then he drops his head. “Shit,” he mutters.

“I didn’t shut my systems down,” he says.

Cor rubs his eyes. “I know that, kid,” he says. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I just--” He shakes his head. Then he looks up at him again. “But I’m still – I’m still scared,” he says. “Because something happened – maybe your systems shut down on their own or something. Can that happen?”

“Yes, if they malfunction,” he says. “But they were all engaged. I checked.”

Cor stares. “Oh,” he says. Then he looks at Dr Fortis. “Something happened,” he says. “He was totally checked out.”

Dr Fortis nods. “I believe you, Marshal,” she says. “And we will certainly try to learn more about that. But if you’ll allow me to proceed in my own way?”

Cor hesitates. Then he nods. “Yeah,” he says. “OK, yeah. Do your thing.”

Dr Fortis smiles. “Thank you, Marshal. Now, I understand you had an incident yourself?”

“Huh?” Cor says. “What incident?”

Dr Fortis looks at her notes. “You collapsed due to exhaustion?”

“I didn’t – collapse,” Cor says. “That whole – that’s nothing, it’s not a big deal.”

“I see,” Dr Fortis says. She turns to him. “Prompto, can you tell me how you felt when Cor fell over?”

He swallows. “Scared,” he says.

“Kid, I’ve told you, you don’t need to worry about it,” Cor says. “I’m fine, really.”

He feels the bubbling feeling again. It makes him clench his teeth. It’s strange. Frustration, that was what she called it. It’s strange.

“Marshal, can I ask you not to speak for now?” Dr Fortis asks. “It will make things a little easier for Prompto.”

Cor frowns. But he closes his mouth and makes a motion with his hand from one end of his mouth to the other.

Dr Fortis smiles. “Thank you,” she says. She turns back to him. “You were scared when Cor fell over,” she says. “Why is that?”

“Because – I thought he was hurt,” he says. He wants to say that Cor was hurt, but Cor keeps saying he wasn’t, so – he doesn’t say it.

“And why would that make you scared, to think that Cor was hurt?” Dr Fortis says.

“Because--” He thinks about the question. “Because – I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Why not?” Dr Fortis asks.

He thinks about the question again. It’s difficult. “Because – I think – I don’t know,” he says. “Because if he gets hurt – maybe he’ll die.”

Cor sits up a little straighter and looks at Dr Fortis, but she shakes her head at him.

“Why would it scare you to think that Cor might die?” she asks.

He swallows. Thinking about Cor dying is making his stomach churn. “Because – then he wouldn’t – be here any more,” he says. He wouldn’t see Cor any more. He doesn’t know what he would do if that happened. It makes him feel like there’s a hole inside his chest.

“And why would that be a problem?” Dr Fortis asks.

His throat starts to burn. But something seems to click together in his mind. “Because of affection,” he says. He looks at her. His eyes are blurring. “Because of affection? Is it correct?”

Dr Fortis smiles. “It certainly sounds logical to me,” she says. “You feel affection for Cor, so you don’t want him to be hurt and you don’t want him to die and leave you alone. Is that correct?”

“Yes,” he says. He becomes aware that he’s crying. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “Yes,” he says. “I think that’s why.”

“Kid--” Cor starts, but when Dr Fortis looks at him, he shakes his head. “Come on, Doc, he’s crying.”

He brushes away a few more tears. They’ve stopped coming now. He feels – better. Because he understands a little more now.

“Just a few more minutes, Marshal,” Dr Fortis says. She turns back to him. “Prompto, do you see any similarities between what you’ve just told me and what Cor told me earlier about why he was scared when he thought you’d shut down your systems?”

He thinks about it. And: yes. Yes, he hadn’t realised before. But they’re the same. The connection between affection and fear is the same in both cases. So – so. He understands. He thinks he understands. It feels – like a knot in his mind has unravelled. He looks at Cor.

“You’re scared because you feel affection for me?” he asks. “It’s the same?”

Cor looks at Dr Fortis. She nods at him and smiles. Cor lets out a heavy breath.

“Yeah, kid,” he says. “Yeah, I – feel affection. It’s the same.”

He sits back on the couch. “Oh,” he says. He thinks about all the connections. He feels tired, but he doesn’t want Dr Fortis to stop asking questions. He understands Cor. He understands some things that he didn’t understand before. It feels good.

Cor stares at him. Then he looks at Dr Fortis. Then he looks at him again. “OK, but – don’t worry about it, OK, kid?” he says. “I’m not gonna die. I’m fine.”

Dr Fortis turns to him. “Prompto, how does it make you feel when Cor orders you not to worry about his health?”

He thinks about the feeling. He knows what it is. It’s bubbling and tight. “It makes me feel frustrated and--” He tries to remember the other word. “And annoyed.”

Cor frowns. He glances at Dr Fortis. “Huh?” he says.

“Why does it make you feel frustrated and annoyed?” Dr Fortis asks.

He thinks. He remembers what she said about Frustration. That it’s when you feel bad because you want something to change or happen, but you can’t make it happen. He tries to apply it to how he feels when Cor says don’t worry, I’m fine.

“Because--” he says. “Because – I think – it’s not fine.” He swallows. He doesn’t want to contradict Cor, but-- “And – and the one with the white coat thinks it’s not fine, as well,” he says. “And you still – you’re still tired because you didn’t – do what she told you to do.” He looks at Cor. Cor doesn’t look angry. He looks confused. “I thought – you would maintain yourself in optimum condition,” he says. “But you don’t. And if you don’t maintain yourself in optimum condition then – something might happen again. You might get hurt.”

Cor frowns. “Nothing’s going to happen, kid,” he says. “I can look after myself.”

His teeth clench again. “But--” he says. He feels like he shouldn’t be speaking. He shouldn’t be talking to Cor like this. But he looks at Dr Fortis and she nods for him to continue. “But – you don’t,” he says. “You don’t – look after yourself. So something might happen. And you tell me I can’t worry. But – I want to stop worrying but I can’t because – you don’t look after yourself. So – it makes me feel frustrated and annoyed.” He looks at Dr Fortis. “Is that correct?”

Dr Fortis looks very pleased. “It certainly sounds logical, yes,” she says.

“Yes,” he says. He looks back at Cor. “I’m sorry for worrying,” he says. “I don’t know how to stop.”

Cor stares at him. He stares and stares. Then he shakes his head. “You know when I say don’t worry, that’s not an order, right, kid?” he says. “You’re not gonna get in any trouble for worrying.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes. Dr Fortis told me it wasn’t an order.”

Cor looks at her, then at him. “But you thought it was an order before?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. It was phrased as an order. He doesn’t know how he was supposed to know it wasn’t an order.

“Ah, shit,” Cor says. He shakes his head. “I just don’t want – I want you to be happy, that’s all. I just don’t want you worrying about me when you’ve got so much other shit in your life. I don’ t want you to feel bad.”

“Oh,” he says. “I do feel bad.”

Cor half-laughs, but he doesn’t look pleased. “Yeah, kid,” he says. “I’m getting that.”

Dr Fortis looks at him. “Prompto, is there anything you’d like to ask Cor with regard to his health?” she asks.

He considers the question. “Yes,” he says. “I don’t understand why you don’t maintain yourself correctly.”

“Fuck,” Cor says. He looks at Dr Fortis. “You said I didn’t have to answer if I didn’t want, right?”

“I did,” Dr Fortis says. “It’s your decision. But I do think we’re making excellent progress.”

“Yeah?” Cor says. He frowns, but he looks thoughtful, not angry. “Uh, yeah,” he says. “I guess we are.” He takes a deep breath. “OK,” he says. “All right.” He turns back to him. He just sits for a moment. Then he takes another deep breath.

“Kid,” he says. “The reason I didn’t sleep through the night wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I just – couldn’t. I woke up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m not doing it on purpose. I mean – yeah, OK, I was doing it on purpose before. But not last night.”

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” he asks.

“Uh, because – I just got a lot of things on my mind, that’s all,” Cor says. “You know how sometimes you can’t sleep because you’re worrying about stuff? It’s like that.”

“Oh,” he says. “What are you worrying about?”

“Nothing important,” Cor says.

He feels frustrated and annoyed. Dr Fortis clears her throat. Cor glances at her, then looks back at him. “Kid?” he says.

He opens his mouth. “If it isn’t important, why are you worrying about it?” he asks. He didn’t really mean to ask that. But he thinks that Cor shouldn’t worry about unimportant things instead of sleeping. It’s not logical.

“Uh,” Cor says. “Huh. I mean – they’re important things, but I don’t want you to--” He stops. “OK, yeah, I get it,” he says. He glances at Dr Fortis. “I gotta tell him everything, huh?”

“Not everything,” Dr Fortis says. “But I think it will improve matters if you’re less dismissive of his concerns.”

“I’m not – I’m dismissive?” Cor says. “I’m not dismissive, I’m just--” He shakes his head. “Crap, I hate therapy,” he mutters. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Look, kid,” he says. “When you went missing I – pretty much lost my mind. I mean, I was scared – I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared. Because – I didn’t want you to get hurt, and – you know why now, right? So since you came back – I don’t know, I’ve still been scared. I’ve been scared something else might happen. Because you just – you just walked out of the house and you don’t even know why or how. We don’t know what’s wrong, or whether you’ll do it again. And next time – maybe next time it’ll be worse. So – I worry. I worry about that. A lot. And that’s why I don’t – uh, maintain myself correctly. Because if you – if something happens to you again, I don’t want to only find out about it six hours later.”

“Oh,” he says. It makes sense. Something might happen again. He doesn’t know why he moves around when he’s asleep. He doesn’t know how to stop it. But-- “But the silent ones watch me while I’m asleep,” he says. “So if I start moving they’ll stop me.”

“The silent ones?” Cor asks.

“The Crownsguard,” Dr Fortis murmurs.

“Oh – yeah, OK, that’s much less creepy than I was thinking,” Cor says. “And yeah – I’m not saying it’s rational, kid. But that’s why I can’t sleep. I just keep – worrying.”

“Oh,” he says. It makes sense. Even though he still wants Cor to remain in optimum condition, he feels better to understand why Cor isn’t maintaining himself correctly. “What about the pills?” he asks. He remembers that the one with the white coat gave Cor pills and they made him sleep. “Couldn’t you take more pills?”

“I – yeah,” Cor says. “Yeah, I just – what if something happens and I’m passed out on sleeping pills?”

He considers the scenario. He instructs his combat strategic element to consider it as though it’s a combat scenario. He has to reword the problem a few times before the element will accept it as related to combat. It returns a trade-off analysis. He refocusses on Cor. Cor is frowning at him.

“Kid?” he says. “You OK?”

“If you fail to maintain yourself in optimum condition and something happens, it’s likely you won’t be able to respond well to the circumstances,” he says. “If you continue in suboptimal condition for too long, you may be seriously impaired. Serious impairment would be a significantly greater and more sustained handicap than being passed out.”

Cor stares at him. Dr Fortis stares at him, too. Then she writes something down. Then she smiles.

“Well, Marshal,” she says. “What’s your response to Prompto’s argument?”

Cor turns to look at her. Then he turns back to look at him. He looks very surprised.

“Uh – yeah,” he says. “That’s – yeah, I guess I – agree.” He coughs. “So – I’ll take the pills. OK, kid? So don’t worry.” Then he shakes himself. “I mean – that’s not an order. I just mean – I don’t want you to feel bad.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about how he feels. “I don’t feel as bad now,” he says.

Cor laughs. He rubs a hand over his face. “Fuck me,” he mutters. Then he turns to Dr Fortis. “How the fuck are you doing this?” he asks.

Dr Fortis smiles. “It’s my job, Marshal,” she says.

“It’s your job,” Cor says, shaking his head. “Well, don’t let me stop you. You got a lot of work to do here.”

“I certainly do,” Dr Fortis says.

Notes:

Phew, this is the world's longest therapy session! Dr Fortis deserves to be taken out for a beer after this...

Chapter 51

Notes:

Phew! Started the day off sick, got better enough to do some writing by lunchtime, and since then it's been a whirlwind of activity! Thanks so much for all your lovely comments on the last chapter -- guess you guys really like therapy, huh? ;) Hope you enjoy this one as well...

Oh, and PS, because I know a few of you actually aren't in FFXV fandom, I just wanted to let you know that all the MT units are clones (i.e. they all look identical, though in this AU level ones are obviously younger than level twos etc.). So there's a bit of contextual data for you :D

Chapter Text

He feels tired.

“OK, Doc, but what’s going on with the kid, here?” Cor says. “I mean, if he didn’t shut his systems down, then what? And then – he tell you he threw a coaster at the wall and then just lost it? He tell you about that?”

Dr Fortis smiles. “Why don’t you tell me about it?” she asks.

“Uh,” Cor says. “I mean – I just did.” He glances at him, then looks back at her. “He lost it – I thought he was hurting bad, but he told Doc Salus he wasn’t in any pain. So – what’s up with that?”

“Have you tried asking Prompto?” Dr Fortis says.

“Sure,” Cor says. Then he pauses. “I mean – uh – I asked you, right, kid?”

He feels tired. He doesn’t have clear memories of what happened this morning. He doesn’t know if Cor asked him what happened. He doesn’t think he did.

Cor clears his throat. “But you weren’t hurting, right?” he says.

“No,” he says. He doesn’t remember being in pain.

“OK, that’s good,” Cor says. “That’s good.” He looks at Dr Fortis again. “Doc Salus said it was something psychological. Stress.”

Dr Fortis raises her eyebrows slightly. “Have you tried asking Prompto?” she says.

“Huh?” Cor says. “I just asked him.”

Dr Fortis writes something down. Then she sets her paper aside and folds her hands on her lap.

“Marshal,” she says, “you asked me to help you with Prompto. It seems to me that the most helpful thing you can do is learn to communicate with each other. I’m happy to facilitate that, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to do most of the work.”

Cor looks confused. “Yeah,” he says. “I know, I get it. I’m not – good at all that shit.”

“Well, let’s see if we can’t help you learn to get better at it,” Dr Fortis says.

“Yeah, great,” Cor says. “But listen, Doc, about what happened with Prompto – I mean after he threw the coaster. Can we get that figured out before worrying about any of this other stuff?”

“I wonder if perhaps these issues aren’t all related to each other,” Dr Fortis says.

Cor stares at her. Then he rubs a hand over his face. “OK. I don’t get what it is you want me to do,” he says.

Dr Fortis smiles. “I want you to ask Prompto what happened after he threw the coaster,” she says.

Cor keeps staring at her for a long moment. Then he looks at him. “Kid,” he says, “what happened after you threw the coaster?”

He swallows. “I don’t know,” he says.

Cor turns back to Dr Fortis. “He doesn’t know,” he says. He sounds angry. Or – not angry, but – something that’s similar.

Dr Fortis nods. “Do you think you’ve learned everything you can from Prompto about the incident?” she asks.

Cor lets out his breath. “Come on, Doc, he doesn’t know,” he says. “So why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“What makes you think I know what happened?” Dr Fortis says.

“For fuck’s sake,” Cor mutters.

He swallows. Cor’s getting angry. He doesn’t want Cor to be angry with Dr Fortis.

“Marshal,” Dr Fortis says, “I’m not trying to antagonise you. I’m trying to help you. I’m not a magician or a mind-reader. All I know about what happened to Prompto is what Prompto’s told me about it. The best tool you have at your disposal for understanding Prompto is communication. But you have to be willing to use it, even when it’s difficult.”

Cor shakes his head. “I already asked him,” he says. “You saw me ask him.”

Dr Fortis nods. Then she turns to him.

“Prompto,” she says, “can you describe to me how you felt after throwing the coaster?”

His throat feels dry. He doesn’t want Cor to be angry with Dr Fortis. Maybe he’ll order her to leave and then – she won’t be here any more.

“I – I don’t know,” he says.

“See what I’m saying?” Cor says.

“Marshal, please,” Dr Fortis says. She smiles at him.

“Can you give me any details of what you heard and saw during that episode?” she asks.

It’s an easier question. “I – closed my eyes, so I didn’t see anything,” he says. “I heard – a chime. It was all I could hear.”

“A chime? A ringing sound?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Yes,” he says. “A chime. I put my hands over my ears, but the chime was still there.”

“And you closed your eyes?” Dr Fortis says. “Why did you do that?”

He thinks. He tries to remember. “Because – I – thought Cor would be angry,” he says. “And I didn’t want – to see anything.”

Cor frowns, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Why did you think Cor would be angry?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Because--” He swallows. He looks at Cor. Cor’s frowning. Is Cor angry? He’s not sure. “Because I threw the object,” he says. “It was inappropriate.”

“And you wanted to avoid Cor’s anger, so you closed your eyes,” Dr Fortis says.

“Yes,” he says. But it wasn’t just that. He didn’t just close his eyes. A lot of things happened. “I – wanted – everything to go away,” he says.

“Everything?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Yes,” he says. He tries to think more about how he felt. It’s difficult to describe. “I – didn’t want to be here. Everything felt bad. I wanted to go somewhere else. But I couldn’t go anywhere else. I can’t go anywhere else.”

Dr Fortis nods. “While you had your eyes closed, how did you feel?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I felt – like everything went away. Not all the way away, but – further away.”

“Were you still aware of what was going on around you?” Dr Fortis asks.

“No,” he says. But that’s not quite right. “Some things,” he says. “But they seemed like they were far away.”

Dr Fortis nods again. Then she looks at Cor.

He looks at Cor, too. Cor looks – like he’s in pain. He sits up a little straighter. Maybe Cor got hurt again. He didn’t fall over. But he’s already sitting down.

“Marshal, would you like to add anything?” Dr Fortis says.

Cor swallows, then clears his throat. “Kid,” he says. His voice sounds strange. “All that – was because you were scared I would be angry with you for throwing a coaster at a wall?”

“Yes,” he says. But it’s not accurate. “No,” he says. “Not all of it. It wasn’t just that.”

“Then what?” Cor asks.

“I – everything,” he says. “Everything felt bad. I wanted – everything to go away.” He looks at Dr Fortis, then at Cor. He doesn’t know how to explain it. “There was – I had too many – there were too many things,” he says. “I wanted to be somewhere else.” He thinks about the house by the park. He wonders if he’ll ever go there again.

Cor puts a hand over his eyes. Then he takes it away again. He looks at Dr Fortis. “OK, I get it,” he says. “He’s – fucking miserable, and that’s why he lost it.”

“Well, I would certainly say that this situation is not helping Prompto’s recovery,” Dr Fortis says.

Cor stares at her. “That’s it?” he says after a moment. “You’re not going to say anything else?”

Dr Fortis purses her lips. “You already know what I think, Marshal,” she says. “And I agreed to your ground rules.”

Cor nods. “Yeah,” he says. He rubs a hand over his head. “Yeah,” he mutters again. He sounds tired.

“Then shall we return to the matter at hand?” Dr Fortis asks. “As it turns out, Prompto was able to give a great deal more information about the incident this morning than you imagined.”

Cor frowns. “OK, yeah,” he says. “But only because you know all the right questions.”

“I see,” Dr Fortis says. “And do you think that’s some sort of magical ability that I have that you could never learn?”

“Come on, Doc,” Cor says. “You’ve seen me try and do this. I suck at it. So just – help me out, here, OK?”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do,” Dr Fortis says. “Marshal, my view is that you have two options. You can keep telling yourself that you’re inherently unable to learn how to be more open and communicative, and make no further progress, or you can open yourself up to the possibility of change and perhaps become happier with your life and your relationship with Prompto. If you choose the latter, it will be a great deal of hard work that no-one can do for you. You will have to choose it wholeheartedly. But I can tell you right now that I can’t do anything to help you with the kid, as you put it, unless you choose to help yourself first.”

Cor stares at her. He stares and stares. Then he puts his head in his hands. “Fuck,” he mutters. His shoulders are slumped. He looks – tired. He looks so tired. And – something else. He looks smaller than usual. He doesn’t like the way Cor looks. He wants him to look less – like that. He wants to make Cor – feel better. But he doesn’t know how.

And then he’s standing up. He’s not sure how he came to be standing up. But he – wants to go and sit next to Cor. He thinks – maybe it will help. He usually feels better when Cor’s sitting next to him. But he’s not sure he’s permitted to move to sit next to Cor. He looks at Dr Fortis. She smiles and nods her head in Cor’s direction. So he thinks he is permitted. So he walks around the low table and sits down next to Cor.

Cor starts a little and lifts his head. He looks at him for a second. Then he puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in closer. Cor rests his head against his head for a moment. Then he takes a deep breath and turns to Dr Fortis.

“Yeah, of course,” he says. “If you think it’s possible, then – I’ll do the work. Can’t promise I won’t be an asshole about it, but I’ll do it.”

Dr Fortis smiles. “I’m very glad to hear it,” she says.

“But Doc – I don’t even know where to start,” Cor says. “With any of this – shit, I’ve been fucking drowning since I first met the kid. You gotta help me out, here, because I sure as hell can’t do this by myself.”

Dr Fortis picks up her papers and looks at them. Then she looks at Cor with a thoughtful expression. She taps her pen against her lips. “Well,” she says, “why don’t I give you an assignment?”

“An assignment?” Cor says.

“For the next two days, I want you to pay attention to what you say to Prompto,” she says. “I want you to think about whether anything in what you say could be interpreted as an order. If it could be, I want you to explain to Prompto whether it is an order or not, and if not, how he should interpret it.”

He feels – something. Something fluttery and tense. Cor and Ignis are the only ones whose orders he has to follow, and he doesn’t see Ignis any more, so if Cor explains which orders aren’t really orders then he won’t have to worry about not knowing the contextual data any more. It would be good. It would be a lot better. He looks at Cor. He doesn’t think Dr Fortis is permitted to give Cor assignments. But he looks anyway. He waits to see what Cor will say.

“Uh, that sounds – I don’t know if I can do that,” Cor says.

His heart sinks. Dr Fortis’s smile changes slightly.

“What is it about the assignment that you think might be too difficult?” she asks.

“It’s not – I just – how am I supposed to know when he might think something is an order?” Cor asks. He glances at him. “I mean – kid, if you tell me when you think it’s an order, then maybe--”

“I think it would be a good exercise for you to have to think carefully about how Prompto might perceive the things you say,” Dr Fortis says. She interrupted Cor. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her interrupt anyone before. “You may not entirely succeed at first, but the more you practice, the easier it will become.” She looks at Cor. “Do you understand?”

Cor doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he nods. “Yeah, OK,” he says. “Yeah, I get it. OK, I’ll do it.”

He feels – relieved. He feels so relieved. And so – grateful. To Cor, and to Dr Fortis. Because now he doesn’t have to worry. He feels like his chest is expanding. His eyes start blurring. He feels so grateful.

“Oh, hey,” Cor says. “Hey, no – don’t cry.” Cor pulls him in tighter. “I’m sorry, kid, I don’t know what I did. Don’t cry.”

He closes his eyes. He hears Dr Fortis clear her throat. Cor coughs.

“I mean – uh,” he says. “That’s not an order, I just – can I make you feel better? How can I make you feel better?”

“I don’t feel bad,” he says. It comes out sounding strange. “I feel good.”

“Oh,” Cor says. He sounds surprised. “Uh – then – how come you’re crying?”

“Because I--” He tries to think of a way to describe it. “Because you said you would explain about the orders. So I know which orders are orders.”

“That’s – just because of that?” Cor says. “That’s what made you feel better?”

“Yes,” he says. He’s still crying. Not very much. But it doesn’t matter, because Cor didn’t order him not to cry.

“OK,” Cor says. “That’s – that’s good. I’m glad.”

Cor’s glad. And he’s glad. And he’s tired. He feels so tired. But now he feels less bad than he did before. So even though he’s tired, it doesn’t feel as bad. He leans against Cor. He starts to feel like he’s drifting.

“Well,” Dr Fortis says. She sounds very quiet. “I think that’s probably enough for today.”

Somewhere very far away, he hears Cor say, thanks, Doc.

And then he falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, he’s lying on the couch. There’s a blanket over the top of him. Dr Fortis has gone. Cor is sitting at the table with his computer. He looks tired. But he doesn’t look like he did before. He doesn’t look smaller. He doesn’t know why Cor looked smaller before. He doesn’t want him to look like that again.

In front of him, the phone on the low table buzzes, and the screen lights up. He sits up and reaches for it. Cor glances over.

“Hey, kid,” he says. “Feel better?”

He didn’t feel bad before. He felt good. But now he feels less tired. “Yes,” he says.

Cor smiles. “That’s good,” he says. “You need anything?”

“No,” he says. He looks at the phone. The message is from Noctis. He sees there are other messages that Noctis sent before this one.

Noct: Finally, school’s out.

Noct: Prompto?

Noct: Prompto, you there?

One missed call from: Noctis.

Noct: OK, well, text me when you get back to your phone.

Noct: If you don’t text soon, Ignis is going to make me do my homework.

Then there’s a message where the entire content is an image of a page with some elementary equations and a small yellow circle with abstract markings on it. Then some more messages.

Ignis: Prompto, just to let you know I have confiscated Noct’s phone until he finishes his homework so that he can’t pressure you to do it for him.

Ignis: I hope you’re keeping well, by the way. It would be good to see you soon.

Noct: OK, done. You there yet?

Noct: You get that you have to charge the phone, right?

The message about charging was the most recent one. He knows that the phone needs to be charged, so he writes out a response.

Prompto: Yes.

Another message from Noctis appears almost immediately.

Noct: Finally! Where’ve you been?

Prompto: I’ve been in the blue room. I’m not permitted to go anywhere else.

Noct: Oh. Yeah, I know that. It sucks.

It sucks means it’s bad. The blue room is perfectly pleasant. The bed and the couches are comfortable, and it’s warm and Cor’s here. There’s no reason that it should be bad. But the thought of being here and never leaving again makes his stomach hurt.

Prompto: Yes. It sucks.

Noct: My dad’s still being a dick about it.

This message is followed by another yellow circle. He peers at it, trying to decipher the meaning. It has two black dots and a line that represents an arc from a circle. He doesn’t understand the meaning. He looks at Cor.

“What does this mean?” he asks.

Cor looks up from his computer. “Huh?” He says. Then he stands up. “Let me see.”

He holds out the phone. Cor looks at it. “It’s a smiley,” he says. “Or whatever the hell they’re called these days.”

He looks at the yellow circle. He doesn’t understand.

Cor sits down next to him. “Here, see,” he says, pointing at it. “It’s like a face. Two dots for eyes, line for mouth. It’s a sad face.”

He looks at the yellow circle again. It doesn’t look like anyone’s face. But he understands: it’s a schematic representation of a face with a turned-down mouth. It’s a sad face.

“Here,” Cor says. He taps something on the screen. A menu opens. It has a series of yellow circles, each with a different configuration of lines and dots and other shapes. “There’s a ton of these,” Cor says. He starts scrolling through the menu. There are a lot of yellow circles. Then there are other things, too. Small schematic representations of things he recognises, like a tree and an orange, and things he doesn’t. There are a lot of choices. “See?” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says. Cor gives him the phone back. He scrolls back to the yellow circles. The first one is like the one Noctis sent, but the circle-arc is the other way up. So it’s a smiling face. The second one is similar, but with a white crescent instead of an arc. It takes him a moment to realise it represents a smile where the teeth are showing. So a more emphatic smile than the first one. So there are circles for a wide range of different emotions. So you can tell people what emotions you’re feeling without having to write it out. It’s efficient.

A new message comes through. Noct: Prompto? You still there?

He writes a response. Then he thinks about what emotions he’s feeling. He’s feeling good because he likes talking to Noctis. So he chooses a smiling yellow circle. But he also feels bad about being in the blue room. So he adds a yellow circle with the mouth turned down. It’s very efficient and clear. It’s a good system.

Prompto: Yes. 🙂 🙁

Noct: …

Noct: OK

Noct: What’d you do today?

Prompto: I threw an object. Then I talked to Dr Fortis. Then Cor talked to Dr Fortis. Then I slept. Then I woke up.

Noct: An object?

Noct: Wait, are you saying Cor went to therapy? Cor the Immortal Cor?

Prompto: Yes. He talked to Dr Fortis.

Noct: Holy shit

Noct: Did he cry???

Prompto: No.

Prompto: He doesn’t cry very often.

Noct: What

Noct: Very often????

Noct: You mean you’ve seen Cor cry?

Prompto: Yes.

The next message contains nothing but a series of yellow circles. He’s still trying to decipher them when another message comes through.

Noct: Hey, you wanna play King’s Knight?

He does want to play it. It feels good to have something to do.

Prompto: Yes. 🙂

An invitation to play comes through immediately. He accepts it and begins the game.

~

Later, Cor has to go out. He doesn’t want Cor to go, but he doesn’t say anything. Noctis has gone to do something else, so he’s on his own except for the silent one. But then, after a short time, there’s a knock at the door. When the door opens, it’s Arcis.

“Reporting for duty,” Arcis says to the silent one. The silent one nods and leaves. Arcis closes the door and smiles at him.

“Hey, kid,” he says. “Papa Bear not here?”

“No,” he says. “He went out.” It feel good to see Arcis. He hasn’t seen him for a while now.

“Guess he had some Marshal business to take care of,” Arcis says. “I heard he’s letting you talk to the Doc again now?”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s good.” He thinks about what Dr Fortis said, about talking to people and having meaningful interactions. “Do you feel lonely?” he asks.

Arcis looks surprised. Then he laughs. “Believe me, kid, when there’s as many people living in your house as there are in mine, you don’t have the time or space to feel lonely.”

“Oh,” he says. He hadn’t considered that lonely might be a function of how many people are living in the same house. “How many people live in your house?”

“Well, let’s see,” Arcis says. He sits down on the couch opposite him. “There’s me, my mom and dad, my little bro and my two younger sisters, two cats, a dog, my sister’s damn Gennaian Grey Warbler, and right now my other sister’s boyfriend, since he’s having some issues with his family and my mom can’t resist a stray.”

“Oh,” he says. It sounds like a lot of people, but he doesn’t recognise most of the titles, except dad and cat, which he’s fairly sure isn’t a person at all.

“Yeah,” Arcis says, laughing. “Mostly it’s pretty cool, but sometimes it can be hard work, especially when everyone wants to shower at the same time. But I’d never move into the barracks, you know? I’d miss all the chaos. Besides, I get plenty of peace and quiet watching over you and Papa Bear all night.”

“Oh,” he says again. He doesn’t really understand much of what Arcis says. But he understands that Arcis isn’t lonely. He thinks about the fact that Arcis has a dad, just like Noctis and Gladio. “Is the King your dad?” he asks. The King is Noctis’s dad and also Gladio’s old man. Maybe he’s Gladio’s dad as well.

Arcis makes a choking sound. “Uh, no,” he says. “My dad’s just a normal guy. Runs a laundromat. Has high cholesterol. Spoils his girls. You know, normal stuff.”

He thinks about what Dr Fortis said about what lonely means. “Do you have meaningful interactions with your dad?” he asks.

“Huh?” Arcis says. He frowns. “Uh – yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. We don’t talk about our feelings and cry, but – I mean, what’s meaningful?” he shrugs. “I guess – if I have to think about it, all our interactions are meaningful, because I love the old guy, you know?”

He doesn’t know. But it’s clear that interactions can be meaningful regardless of their character if they’re with particular people. He writes down the word love so that he can look it up later in Royal Lucian Dictionary. But now it makes sense: if all the interactions Arcis has with his dad are meaningful, and if he lives in the same house as his dad, then it makes sense that Arcis wouldn’t be lonely. But it still isn’t clear what dad means, except that everyone seems to have one. “Does Cor have a dad?”

“Uh.” Arcis scratches his head. “I mean – I guess he must have. Or must have had. I don’t know. I never really thought about his family, you know? Never heard anything about them. He was always just – there. The man, the legend.”

So Arcis doesn’t know if Cor has a dad. He’s never heard Cor talk about having a dad. If it is a superior-subordinate relationship, maybe Cor’s too high-ranking.

“Is Cor anyone’s dad?” he asks.

Arcis chokes again. He stares at him, his eyes wide. “Uh--” He says. “I don’t – think--”

The door opens and Cor walks in. Arcis jumps to his feet and snaps to attention. “Sir!” he says, very loudly.

Cor pauses in his steps, frowning at Arcis. “At ease, Crownsguard,” he says. “You OK?”

“Yessir!” Arcis says. “Very well, thank you, sir!”

Cor’s frown deepens, then he sighs. “OK, fine,” he says. He turns to him. “Nearly bedtime, kid,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. He picks up his pen. He needs to record his interaction with Arcis and decide whether it was meaningful or not. He thinks it was. He learned some things, even though he didn’t understand all of them.

Cor chews on his lip. Then he turns to Arcis.

“Doc’s got me taking sleeping pills,” he says. “If anything happens, you wake me up immediately, got me? I don’t care what it takes. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Arcis says.

“Great,” Cor says. He sits down next to him. “What’re you writing about?”

“My assignment,” he says.

“The Doc gave you one too, huh?” Cor says. “Can I see?” He reaches for the paper, then hesitates. “I mean – uh – that’s not an order. If you don’t want to show me, that’s OK.”

He doesn’t mind showing Cor his assignment. But it’s good to know that it wasn’t an order. He holds out the paper.

Cor looks at it. “What is it?” he asks.

“I have to record all the interactions I have and whether they’re meaningful,” he says. “So that I know if I’m lonely or not.”

Cor stares at him. Then he looks at the paper. Then he stares at him again. “Dr Fortis thinks you’re lonely, huh?” he says.

“She doesn’t know,” he says. “That’s why I have to find out.”

Cor nods. He puts the paper down. He sits and looks at nothing for a moment. Then he reaches out and puts an arm around his shoulders. He pulls him in tight for a moment. Then he stands up.

“I just gotta… make a phone call,” he says. He pulls out his phone and heads for the door. “Yeah, Clarus, listen,” he says as he steps through it. “I know we’ve talked about this but seriously, there’s got to be a way we can--” Then he closes the door behind him and he can’t hear him any more.

Arcis looks at him. “So you put down that we were talking?” he says. “Was that meaningful or not?”

“Yes,” he says. “I think it was. Is that correct?”

Arcis smiles wide. “If you think so, I think so,” he says.

A few minutes later, Cor comes back. He looks tired and angry. But when he sees him he takes a deep breath and his face smooths out.

“OK,” he says. He pulls a small plastic jar out of his pocket and glares at it. Then he opens it and takes a pill from inside. He puts the pill in his mouth and swallows it. He turns to Arcis.

“I’ll be watching, sir,” Arcis says.

Cor nods. He looks at him.

“OK, kid?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. Cor took the pill. So that’s good. Cor’s maintaining himself correctly. It makes him feel less bad.

“Good,” Cor says. “Brush your teeth.”

So he does. When he comes out of the bathroom. Cor is lying on the bed. He’s taken his shoes and jacket off, but he’s still wearing the rest of his clothes. He’s asleep.

He looks at Arcis. Arcis shrugs.

“Don’t know what she put in those pills, but whatever it is, it’s gotta be enough to take down a catoblepas,” he says.

He looks at Cor. Good. Cor’s asleep.

Good.

~

He wakes up in the night. When he wakes up, it’s dark and cold. He’s lying on a cold, flat surface. He’s wearing his sleeping clothes. There’s another MT unit sitting on the floor near him. The other MT unit is wearing the green shirt with the chocobo on it and the sleeping trousers that he left in the one with the green jacket’s apartment.

“It’s your fault, anyway,” the other MT unit says. “You’re the one who went back.”

He tries to sit up. But the ceiling’s suddenly very low. It’s only just above his chest. There’s no space to sit up, even though the other MT unit is sitting nearby. He tries to turn on his side so he can see the other MT unit better. But there’s no space. He tries to slide out from under the low ceiling, but there’s a wall in the way, suddenly much closer than before. There are walls on both sides. The other MT unit is gone. Now there are only walls. There are walls all around him, black and blank and – coming closer. Coming closer.

And there’s no air. He can’t breathe. There’s no air and the walls are coming closer.

He hears a clanging sound. He tastes blood in his mouth.

He hears someone shouting.

Then he’s not lying on a hard surface any more. He’s lying on a soft surface. He’s on his side. Someone’s holding him.

“OK, OK,” the someone says. It’s Cor, talking right by his ear. He sounds like he’s half-asleep. “You’re good. You’re a good kid. My – my kid. It’s… fine. Don’t be scared.”

He swallows. Cor’s holding him. There’s someone leaning over him, too. It’s dark, but there’s enough light from the gap in the curtains to see that it’s Arcis.

“You OK?” Arcis murmurs.

“He’s OK, he’s OK,” Cor says. He tightens his grip on him. “Sh. I’m gonna – make sure it’s OK.” He says something else, but the words are indistinguishable. Then he stops talking. He’s asleep. He’s breathing deeply. Maybe he was asleep the whole time.

“OK?” Arcis says again. “You need anything?”

He thinks. Usually Cor would sit up with him and tell him it was a dream and give him water or hot milk. But now Cor’s asleep. But it’s good Cor’s asleep. And he knows it was a dream, because now he’s awake and he’s back in the real world. And Cor’s here, so it’s fine. He’s asleep, but he’s here. And Arcis is here, too.

Arcis holds something indistinct out towards him. He takes it. It’s the chocobo. He presses his fingers into it. It’s very soft.

“Guess even catoblepas-tranquiliser can’t keep Papa Bear down when there’s Papa Bear-ing to be done,” Arcis whispers with a laugh. “You gonna be able to get back to sleep?”

He thinks about it. He hugs the chocobo. He listens to Cor breathing deeply.

“Yes,” he whispers.

“Good kid,” Arcis says.

He closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep.

~

The next morning, he’s awake earlier than he was the day before. The first thing he does when he wakes up is check the phone to see if Noctis has sent him any messages. He hasn’t. He’s not sure if it’s appropriate for him to send a message to Noctis first. So he waits. He hopes that Noctis will send a message. But nothing happens. He waits. He gets his paper ready to record the interaction. But it’s not until mid-morning that the phone buzzes.

Noct: Ugh, morning meeting on a Saturday. The worst.

Noct: What are you doing?

He feels his chest lighten a little.

Prompto: Waiting for you to send a message.

Noct: Uh, really?

Noct: That’s pretty sad, dude.

Noct: I mean

Noct: I didn’t mean it like that

Noct: Shit

He’s not sure how to interpret Noctis’s messages. He starts trying to compose one of his own, but then Noctis sends him another one.

Noct: You know you can message me first, though, right?

Noct: I mean, if I’m in a meeting or at school I won’t be able to answer but

Noct: You can still text me if you want

Oh. That’s good. Now he knows it’s not inappropriate.

Prompto: Thank you. 😐

Noct: ???

Noct: What’s that face for?

Prompto: It’s a representation of an emotion.

Noct: Uh, duh, I know that. But, what? You’re pissed at me?

He frowns at the phone. Yesterday Cor said pissed meant angry. But he didn’t send a face with an angry expression. He sent a face with a neutral expression. He wonders if the image was altered during transmission.

Prompto: I feel neutral.

Noct: Oh

Noct: OK, then

He wonders if he’s misunderstood the system of representing emotions. Then he remembers he wanted to ask Noctis something.

Prompto: Do you feel lonely?

Noct: What?

Noct: No, I’m fine.

Noct: Did someone tell you I’m lonely? That’s bullshit

Noct: I’m fine.

So Noctis isn’t lonely and Arcis isn’t lonely. He thinks it would be useful to find someone who feels lonely so he can ask them what it feels like. But so far he hasn’t found anyone.

Noct: I gotta go, Specs is making me make the rounds

Noct: I’ll speak to you later, OK?

Prompto: Yes. Goodbye. 🙁

There are no more messages from Noctis. He records the interaction on his paper. He wonders if it was meaningful. He thinks it was. But he would have liked to talk to Noctis for longer. He wonders if the length of the interaction is relevant.

The phone buzzes. He thinks maybe Noctis has sent him another message. But it’s a message from Arcis. It’s an image. But when he taps on it, it turns out to be a video. It’s a video of Arcis.

“Hey, so,” Arcis says into the phone, “here’s my dad.” He turns the phone and he sees a person sitting in a chair and smiling. The person looks like Arcis, but his hair is grey and he’s fatter, and his skin doesn’t fit quite as well. But otherwise he looks a lot like Arcis. He wonders if Arcis and the person – his dad – are clones. He doesn’t know if humans can be clones.

“Hi, Prompto,” Arcis’s dad says. He waves at the phone. “Nice to meet you.”

“And here’s the rest of the crew,” Arcis says. The camera moves around a room. It’s full of chairs and tables and people. Each person waves as the camera goes past, but there isn’t enough time to look at them properly.

“We’re having a meaningful interaction,” Arcis says. He grins into the phone. “Just thought you’d like to see.”

Then the video ends.

He watches it again. Then he watches it a third time. Then he looks up and sees the silent one watching him.

“Arcis likes you, huh?” she says.

He looks back at the video. He doesn’t know. He’s never asked Arcis if he likes him. He wonders if watching the video counts as an interaction. He writes it down in case. And he writes down that the silent one spoke to him. But he doesn’t think that was meaningful.

Then he runs out of things to do. He sits for a while and doesn’t do anything. Then he remembers that he wanted to look up the word that Arcis used in Royal Lucian Dictionary. He finds the paper where he wrote the word. Love. He opens Royal Lucian Dictionary and finds it. The definition is: A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Oh. He reads the definition again. Then he looks up profoundly. It means deeply. Then he looks up passionate. It means intense or vehement, as in emotions or feelings.

Oh.

So love means a very strong and painful feeling of affection. But it’s good pain. He remembers that from looking up tender before. So – there are different amounts of affection. That makes sense. He feels affection towards lots of people, but in different ways. But very strong affection is love. And Arcis said his interactions with his dad were meaningful because he loved him. So that makes sense. If you have a lot of affection towards someone, it makes your interactions with them more meaningful. It makes sense.

He thinks about the people he feels affection towards. It’s clear that he loves Cor. He thinks he might love Noctis and Ignis. He’s not sure about anyone else. He needs to learn more about love first. About how to measure the intensity of affection so that he can know who he loves and who he doesn’t. It’s interesting. He thinks about it for a while. But even though it’s interesting, eventually he runs out of things to think about it. He reads the messages from Noctis again. Then he watches the video from Arcis twice more.

And then he sits.

~

Cor comes back in the middle of the afternoon.

“Hey, kid,” he says, sitting next to him. “Sorry I was gone so long. You been OK?”

“Yeah,” he says. He feels a little like he’s waking up from being asleep. But he hasn’t been asleep.

Cor nods and puts his arm around him. “You sleep OK?” he asks. “I didn’t get a chance to ask you this morning.”

“No,” he says. “I had a bad dream.”

Cor frowns. “Arcis didn’t wake me,” he says.

“You were awake,” he says. “You were talking. You hugged me.”

“Huh.” Cor’s frown deepens. “I don’t remember. Next time I’ll get Arcis to wake me up for real.”

He nods. Cor’s still frowning. “What did you dream about?” he asks.

He doesn’t want to think about the dream. But Cor asked him, so he should describe it. “I was in a room, but it kept getting smaller,” he says. “I couldn’t get out. The walls kept getting closer and closer. Then I woke up.”

Cor just looks at him. His mouth is turned down at the corners. Then he sighs.

“You hate it here, huh, kid?” he says.

He swallows. The blue room is perfectly pleasant. The bed is soft. The couches are soft. It’s warm.

He doesn’t want to be here any more.

He blinks and swallows. His throat is burning. “Will we ever go back to the house by the park?” he asks. His voice cracks.

“Shit,” Cor says. “C’mere.” He pulls him in and holds him. “I’m sorry, kid,” he says. “I know this is all – this isn’t what I wanted. It’s not fair.”

Cor didn’t answer the question. So he thinks they probably won’t go back to the house by the park. So he should stop thinking about it. He tries to stop thinking about it. But he can’t. He wants to go back there. He wants it so much it makes his chest hurt.

Cor holds him. He doesn’t say anything. Eventually, he lets go of him and holds him by the shoulders. He looks into his face.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “We’ll figure something out, OK?”

“Yes,” he says. But he’s not sure Cor really thinks they’ll figure something out. He doesn’t think they’ll go back to the house by the park. And – he wishes he’d never seen it in the first place. Then he wouldn’t know about it and he wouldn’t hurt so much.

“OK,” Cor says. He sighs. “What’d you do today?”

He swallows and tries to concentrate on the question. “I – worked on my assignment,” he says. He hasn’t done very much else.

“Yeah? Your assignment for Fortis?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says. He pulls out the paper. There are six interactions listed: his interaction with Noctis, Arcis and Cor the day before, and his interactions with Noctis, Arcis and the silent one today.

“What’s this?” Cor asks, pointing at the word video next to his interaction with Arcis.

“Arcis sent a video,” he says.

Cor frowns at him. “That’s it?” he says. “That doesn’t count as an interaction, kid.”

“Oh,” he says. He crosses it off the list. So now there are only two interactions today.

Cor stares at the list. He realises he hasn’t asked Cor about lonely yet.

“Do you feel lonely?” he asks.

Cor looks up. “Uh,” he says. “No. That’s not a problem for me.”

“Oh,” he says. Lonely must be quite an unusual emotion. No-one he knows feels lonely. But Dr Fortis asked him to do the assignment. So she must think it's possible that he feels lonely. He doesn't think feeling lonely is a good thing. He doesn't understand why he has to have so many bad emotions.

"Do all humans have a lot of bad emotions?" he asks.

Cor frowns at him. "I guess," he says. "Plenty of emotions are bad. But plenty of them are good, too."

"Is there a way to stop having emotions?" he asks. He didn't have so many emotions before, so he thinks there must be a way.

"What, and turn into a robot?" Cor asks. He shakes his head. "Kid, come on. You have good emotions too, right? You wouldn't want to give those up."

"Yes, I have good emotions," he says. He thinks about the good emotions. Like when he saw the park for the first time. Or when he and Noctis climbed the tree. Or when he had the chocolate milkshake. But all of those things feel like they happened a long time ago. "I don't have as many good emotions any more," he says. "Most of my emotions are bad now."

“Kid--” Cor says. Then he doesn’t say anything else. He stares at the paper. He stares at him. He shakes his head. He gets up. He pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear. He starts striding from one end of the room to the other and then back. Then he speaks into the phone.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says. “Listen – I’m still pretty against the idea but – we gotta do something. I gotta do something. So – we can ask him. If he’s OK with it – I mean, if we make sure everything’s safe – I don’t know. I gotta do something.”

He pauses. “OK,” he says. “Yeah, my schedule’s clear. Whenever you’ve got time. OK. Thanks, Doc.”

He takes the phone from his ear and puts it in his pocket. He crosses the room two more times. Then he stops and leans on the back of the couch, staring at him.

“Dr Fortis is coming,” he says. “There’s something she wants to ask you.”

“Oh,” he said. He hadn’t expected her to come again so soon. He looks at his paper. He hasn’t recorded very many interactions. “Is she coming now?”

“Yeah – she says she was near the Citadel anyway, so she’ll be here in ten,” Cor says. He starts walking across the room again. Then he stops. “Kid, listen,” he says. “She’s gonna ask you something – and you can say no if you want, OK? You can say no. If it makes you feel uncomfortable – you should say no. I mean – I mean, that’s not an order. You gotta decide. But don’t feel like you have to say yes.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” He doesn’t understand what Cor’s talking about. He starts writing down the interaction with Cor so his list will look longer.

Then there’s a knock at the door. Cor stops walking. He stares at the door. “Come in,” he says.

Dr Fortis comes in. She smiles at him, then at Cor. Her smile isn’t different, this time.

“Crownsguard, privacy,” Cor says. The silent one leaves and closes the door. Dr Fortis sits down in the chair she was in the day before. Cor sits on the couch opposite. Nobody says anything. He feels something flutter in his stomach. He feels nervous.

“I didn’t have time for many interactions,” he says. He holds out the paper to Dr Fortis. “I couldn’t find anyone who was lonely to ask about it, so I don’t know if I am yet.”

Dr Fortis smiles and takes the paper. “Thank you, Prompto,” she says. “We’ll certainly talk about this later. But I have something specific I want to ask you today.”

“Oh,” he says. He waits to hear what she wants to ask him.

Dr Fortis clears her throat. “Do you understand why you’re not permitted to leave this room?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s because I disobeyed orders and got lost.”

Cor looks like he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, Dr Fortis speaks again.

“That’s broadly correct, although the issue is not about orders,” she says. “The King and his advisors are concerned about the fact that we don’t know what’s causing your sleepwalking. Because we don’t know what’s causing it, we don’t know when or if it might happen again, and what you might do while it’s happening. That’s why you’re being so closely watched.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” It’s mostly the same as what he thought. He doesn’t know what he might do, either.

“So far, Doctor Salus has not been able to find any physical cause for the sleepwalking,” Dr Fortis says, “although she does hypothesise it might be related to the reduction in the proportion of daemon material in your blood. However, it is just as likely, if not more likely, to be psychological. Regardless, until we know more about it, you will have to remain here under close guard.”

“Oh,” he says. He tries not to think about the house by the park. He doesn’t want to cry.

Dr Fortis folds her hands on her lap. “Prompto, I would very much like to know more about your sleepwalking,” she says. “So I have a proposal for you. If you are willing, we could, under controlled circumstances, see if we can induce you to sleepwalk so that we get some sense of what the causes are and how you behave while you’re doing it.”

Cor folds his arms and seems to sink deeper into the couch. Dr Fortis doesn’t look at Cor: she only looks at him.

He swallows. “You want to make me – sleepwalk?” he says.

“If you’re willing,” Dr Fortis says.

“But – what if I get lost?” he asks. He doesn’t want to get lost again. Even though he’s got the phone – what if he loses it? What if someone takes it?

“You would have people watching you at all times,” Dr Fortis says. “They would make sure you couldn’t get lost, or do any damage to yourself or anyone else.”

Cor sits up. “And they wouldn’t hurt you,” he says. “OK, kid? They’d stop you getting hurt, but I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you to do it.”

“Oh,” he says. He hadn’t expected anything like this. He’d expected Dr Fortis to want to talk about the assignment.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Cor says. “Just say the word.”

“Marshal,” Dr Fortis murmurs.

“If you make me sleepwalk,” he says, “will I be permitted to leave the room?”

Dr Fortis sighs. “I don’t know,” she says. “I imagine it will take multiple sessions for us to properly study your sleepwalking. But I hope that if we can learn enough about it, we can find a way to manage it and to demonstrate that you aren’t a danger. Then we would have a strong case to bring to the King to allow you to leave.”

He swallows. He wants to leave so much. It hurts. It hurts his chest. But he’s scared. If he moves about when he’s asleep – if they see how bad the malfunction is – if he gets lost again--

“Kid,” Cor says, “I’ll be with you the whole time, OK? If I’m not in the room with you, I’ll be watching you on a camera. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

And – he’s still scared. But he feels better. Because if Cor’s watching him on a camera, then he won’t get lost. Cor will see the malfunction, but – Cor already knows about the malfunction. Cor knows about all the malfunctions. But Cor doesn’t care. Cor feels affection for him anyway. And then maybe he could leave the room. He could go somewhere else. He wants to go somewhere else.

He takes a deep breath.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor looks at him for a moment. Then he nods. He turns to Dr Fortis.

“OK, Doc,” he says. “We’ll do it.”

Chapter 52

Notes:

GUYS! I got SO MUCH quality fanart in between the last chapter and now! I am delighted! It's a bonanza :D

First up is Alynox, who made this lovely picture of Cor hugging Prompto and crying all over him. This, my friends, is a Good Hug. It is the Best Hug. I award it eleven out of ten. Good stuff.

And next is Medli45, who made approximately one billion pieces of art, which can be found here and here and also here, and all of them are amazing! I tried really hard to pick a favourite but it was difficult because I love them all in different ways. (Although Cor giving Prompto a dadly smooch is definitely a top contender...) And bonus imaginings of Arcis and Dr Fortis! My cup runneth over. Thank you so much to both artists, and please go and give them some love!

ETA: And also, a huge thank you to everyone who's read and kudosed and commented -- it's been hard to carve out time and mental space to write these last few months, but you guys have kept me going ♥ Hope you all have a lovely midwinter/midsummer regardless of what/if you're celebrating :D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Now,” Dr Fortis says. “If we’re going to be successful, we’ll need to be quite careful about how we plan this. I already have notes from what you told me before about the times you’ve sleepwalked, and I will certainly be doing some in-depth research over the next few days. Prompto, I want you to think hard about every time you’ve been aware that you’ve sleepwalked and write down every detail you can think of. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll see if there’s anything to add to what I already have. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s a straightforward assignment. Although he’s already told her a lot of things.

“Good,” Dr Fortis says. She smiles. “Now, since this is an unexpected visit, I don’t think you’ve had enough time to complete this assignment. Why don’t you keep working on it until next time I see you?” She holds out the paper where he’s written all of the interactions he’s had since he last saw her.

He takes the paper. “Yes,” he says. It’s good. He didn’t have time to write down many interactions. “What about the assignment about touching?”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Dr Fortis says. She looks at him for a moment, tapping her pen against her lips. Then she turns to Cor. “Marshal, how would you feel about another assignment?”

Cor raises his eyebrows. “I don’t think that’s--” he starts. Then he stops. He takes a deep breath. “OK. What is it?”

“I asked Prompto to write down all the ways that people have touched him and how he felt about each kind of touching,” Dr Fortis says. “I think it would be useful for him to know more about the different kinds of touching and give him some tools to allow him to control access to his body. However, unfortunately I’m late for another appointment and I don’t have time to discuss it with him in detail right now. But I think – yes, I think perhaps I’m not the right person to lay out the fundamentals anyway.”

Cor stares at her in silence. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asks.

Dr Fortis smiles. “I think I probably am,” she says.

Cor’s mouth flattens. Then he sighs heavily. “Fuck,” he mutters. “He’s too – he’s not old enough.”

Dr Fortis’ smile changes slightly. “I think you and I both know that’s not true, Marshal,” she says. “Would you prefer he go on in his current state of vulnerability?”

Cor shakes his head. “OK, all right, I got it,” he says. “Just – shit. OK.”

“Good.” Dr Fortis stands up. Her smile looks normal again. “Goodbye, Prompto. It was very nice to see you. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye,” he says. He watches her leave. Cor doesn’t say goodbye to her. He just stares at the floor.

The daytime silent one comes back in. Cor glances up. “Lacertus, out,” he says. “I got something I gotta talk to the kid about.”

The daytime silent one pauses, shrugs, then leaves again. Cor turns to him.

“OK, listen,” Cor says. He sits and looks at the floor. “Listen,” he says again.

He listens. Cor doesn’t say anything. It’s normal. But it goes on for longer than normal. He keeps listening. He wonders whether maybe Cor just won’t say anything at all.

Then Cor lets out all his breath. “Fuck,” he mutters. He rubs his hand over his head. He takes a deep breath. Then he looks at him.

“OK, the thing is--” he says. “The thing – uh, what happens is – when two people – like each other, sometimes they – they, um – get… intimate.”

“Oh,” he says. “When they like each other?”

“Yeah,” Cor says.

“When they feel affection?” he asks. He’s not sure of all the categories of relationship between humans. He thinks like isn’t as strong as affection, but he’s not sure.

“Yes,” Cor says.

“Oh,” he says. “What does intimate mean?”

Cor closes his eyes. Then he opens them. He clears his throat. “It’s about – touching each other’s bodies,” he says. He coughs. “When – sometimes when – a person – sometimes – people want to – touch each other’s bodies.” He’s not looking at him. He’s looking at something behind him. He looks round, but there’s nothing there.

“Yes,” he says. “I understand.”

Cor looks at him, then. He frowns. “You do?” he says. “They teach you that in the facility?”

“No,” he says. “But I feel affection for you and I like it when you touch my body.”

Cor’s eyes go very wide. He jumps to his feet and coughs. He looks like he wants to go somewhere but like he isn’t sure where to go. So he stands and looks at the walls and the ceiling. But there’s nothing to look at there.

“No, listen,” Cor says. “No, it’s not the same. That’s not – that’s different.”

“Oh,” he says. It sounds like the same thing. But Cor says it’s not the same. So now he doesn’t understand. He waits for Cor to explain. He wishes it was Dr Fortis explaining. Or Ignis. Cor isn’t very good at explanations.

“Listen,” Cor says again. “It’s – there’s a special – it’s a special thing. It’s not all kinds of affection and it’s not all kinds of – touching. It’s hard to explain.”

It’s clear. It’s hard to explain. Cor’s finding it very hard to explain.

“OK, let’s--” Cor says. He sits down again. “There’s – all kinds of things, but the big thing is when – is when people want to touch each other in their – uh, their intimate – areas.”

“Oh,” he says. “What does intimate mean?”

“Fuck,” Cor growls. He puts his head in his hands. “I mean – the – penis and the, um, ass, and for women the – the vagina.” His voice is muffled by his hands.

“Oh,” he says. So intimate is to do with waste evacuation. He doesn’t know why feeling affection for someone would make a person want to touch their waste evacuation organs. “What does vagina mean?”

Cor makes a noise like he’s in pain. Then he takes a deep breath and lifts his head. “It’s what women have instead of a penis,” he says. “Men have a penis and women have a vagina.”

“Oh,” he says. He knew men and women were different, but he didn’t know they had different waste evacuation organs. He wonders how a vagina differs from a penis.

Cor’s face looks a strange colour. “So – so when people are attracted to each other, they want to – touch each other intimately,” he says. “It’s called sex. And sometimes – and sometimes – for example – a man might put his penis inside a woman’s vagina. Or inside someone’s ass.” He coughs. “A man’s or a woman’s,” he says. “That’s – uh, that’s sex.”

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t know what the construction of a vagina is like, but he knows what is a penis is like, and he knows what an anus is like. He doesn’t understand how it could be possible to put a penis inside an anus. Or why anyone would want to do that. It sounds – like a malfunction. But humans can’t malfunction.

Cor sighs. “Guess it sounds pretty weird, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he says.

“Yeah.” Cor taps his fingers on his knee. “To be honest with you, kid, it is pretty weird. Humans are pretty weird.”

“Oh,” he says. He finds humans difficult to understand. But he assumed humans found each other normal. But maybe that’s not the case.

Cor taps his fingers on his knee a little longer. Then he frowns at him. “You ever – you’ve never – wanted to touch anyone?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. “I like touching. I like hugs.”

Cor smiles. “Yeah, I know,” he says. “But – OK, kid, you ever – has your penis ever got – uh, stiff?”

He frowns. “No,” he says. He thinks his penis would be inconvenient if it were stiff. It would be more difficult to keep it out of the way.

“Huh,” Cor says. He’s frowning again. “Guess maybe – maybe that’s something that’ll happen once all that shit they put in your system is cleared out.”

He still doesn’t understand why his penis would get stiff. He hopes Cor’s incorrect that it will happen eventually. It sounds inconvenient.

“Anyway, you’re too young for any of that crap,” Cor says. “You need to be – I’m gonna say at least twenty-five. Or thirty. OK, kid?”

It takes him a moment to realise that twenty-five and thirty refer to ages and not to levels or to designations. He doesn’t know how old he is now. But he thinks he’s a similar age to Noctis, because Noctis looks like a level two. So it’ll be a long time before he’s twenty-five or thirty years old. That’s good.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “OK,” he says. “So – we’re good?”

He’s not sure what Cor’s referring to. “Dr Fortis said you were going to explain why people can’t touch me,” he says.

Cor stares at him. “Uh – I just did,” he says. “Didn’t I?”

He doesn’t think Cor did. But he doesn’t want to say no, because then he’ll be contradicting Cor. But then Cor groans and rubs his hand over his head.

“Yep, I suck at this,” he mutters. “OK – so. The thing is – the thing is, some people – bad people – they like to touch other people when the other people don’t want them to.” He’s looking at something behind him again, but then he suddenly shakes his head and looks at him directly. He looks very serious. “I’m talking about – sex, kid. Intimate touching. Nobody should ever touch you in an intimate way unless you want them to. Unless you’ve explicitly told them you want them to. That’s – it’s a really bad thing to do to someone.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about someone touching him in an intimate way. Cor said it means touching his penis. He doesn’t know why anyone would want to do that. “But you said no-one could touch me at all. Is all touching intimate?”

“No,” Cor says. “No, listen, the reason I said that – it’s because you don’t have enough experience, so I was worried you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. I didn’t want someone – doing that to you without you realising.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about Cor’s answer. “I would realise if someone touched my penis,” he says. He wonders if humans can’t tell when someone’s touching their penis.

Cor’s face starts to turn a strange colour again. “It’s not – that’s just the most obvious,” he says. “There’s other stuff. Like – the guy who touched you when you were lost. Who touched your stomach.”

The one with the green jacket. He feels cold and itchy. For a moment, he feels like he can feel the warmth of the one with the green jacket’s hand on his stomach. “Was that intimate?” he asks. The one with the green jacket didn’t touch his penis.

Cor blows out his breath and scrubs his hands across his face. “Yeah, kid,” he says. “I’m sorry. That asshole should never have – he should never have touched you that way.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about how it felt strange. How he felt cold even though he was in the bed and under the covers. He wonders why anyone would want to feel that way. Why anyone would want someone to touch them that way. Humans are strange.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “So – that’s why I don’t want people touching you. Because if something like that happened again--” He shakes his head. “I’d never forgive myself. I’m never gonna forgive myself anyway.”

He doesn’t know what forgive means. But he understands now. The one with the green jacket shouldn’t have touched him and Cor is upset because of that. It would have been better if he hadn’t let the one with the green jacket touch him. So now Cor doesn’t want him to let anyone touch him, so that he doesn’t get it wrong again and let someone touch him in the wrong way. It makes sense. But he’s glad that he’s still permitted to let Cor touch him. Before, when he was in the facility, no-one touched him except for corrections and modifications. He didn’t know touching could be pleasant. But now that he knows, he thinks it would be difficult to not be touched any more.

“What about Noctis?” he asks.

“Huh?” Cor says. “What about him?”

“Sometimes he touches me,” he says. “Should I prevent him from touching me?”

Cor’s face twists into a frown. “He – touches you how?” he asks.

“He performs high five and fist bump,” he says. “And sometimes he bumps my shoulder with his shoulder. I don’t know why. And once he hugged me.”

Cor just stares at him for a moment. Then he sighs. “OK, listen,” he says. “I don’t know how we’re gonna – I don’t want to stop you from high-fiving, or whatever. That’s not – the point of all this. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“High-five isn’t bad,” he says. Then he’s not sure. Cor says he doesn’t have enough experience to know which kind of touching is good and which is bad. “It doesn’t make me feel bad,” he says, so that it’s clear what he means. “It makes me feel good.”

“No, it’s fine, you’re all good, kid,” Cor says. He chews his lip. “Let me look at that list you got,” he says.

He holds out the list of touches. Cor takes it and reads it. A frown passes across his face at one point, but otherwise it stays clear. Then he nods.

“OK,” he says. “High-fives are fine. Fist bumps are fine. It’s OK for people you know well to hug you and put their arms around your shoulders. People you know well, OK? Ignis and Noctis, not just – any random person you meet.”

“Arcis?” he asks.

Cor looks surprised, then nods. “Arcis is OK,” he says. “But if anyone touches you on your ass or stomach or – puts their hand on your thigh or between your legs, I want you to tell me about it, OK? Or just if anyone touches you in a weird way that you’re not used to. Stop them from doing it and then come and talk to me and we’ll decide if it’s OK or not. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s good. The orders are much clearer now. And he can still perform fist bump and high-five. It’s good.

Cor nods. “Good,” he says. “OK – guess we’re up to speed.” His phone beeps and he takes it out of his pocket and looks at it. “Shit,” he mutters. “OK – kid, I gotta go out. I’m sorry. I know it’s boring here for you – you got your phone? Can you play phone games with Noctis?”

He picks up the phone. There’s a message from Noctis on the screen. Noct: Hey, you there?

“Yes,” he says. It’s good. He can talk to Noctis while Cor is out.

“Great,” Cor says. “That’s good.” He stands up. He reaches out and performs the rubbing gesture on his head. “You’re all good, kid,” he says. “Just try not to worry too much about it, OK?”

“Yes,” he says, even though he’s not sure what it is he’s not supposed to worry about. Cor leaves and the daytime silent one comes back in. He looks at the phone.

Prompto: Hello. 🙂

Noct: Finally! Where have you been?

Noct: I mean – what have you been doing? I know you’re stuck in the blue suite.

Prompto: I’ve been talking to Cor.

Noct: Yeah? More therapy?

Prompto: No. Dr Fortis left.

Prompto: Cor wanted to tell me about intimate touching.

Prompto: He said that sometimes people want to touch each other’s penises.

He waits for a response. But there isn’t one. He wonders what Noctis is doing. Then he remembers what Cor told him about women.

Prompto: Or vaginas if they’re women.

He wonders if Noctis has ever wanted to touch someone else’s penis or their vagina. It seems like such a strange thing to do. Maybe if he can learn more about why people feel that way, he can understand it better.

Prompto: Do you want to touch anyone else’s penis or their vagina?

He waits. There’s no response. Maybe Noctis had to go and do something else. Then a message comes through. It’s from Ignis.

Ignis: Hello, Prompto. Noct said you wanted to talk to me about something?

Oh. Yes, it makes sense: Ignis is better at explaining things than Noctis, so it makes sense to ask him instead. And he likes talking to Ignis. So he writes the message and adds the appropriate symbol to communicate the correct emotion.

Prompto: Do you want to touch anyone else’s penis or their vagina? 🙂

There’s no response. He waits. He starts to wonder if something is wrong with the phone. But then there’s another message.

Ignis: Prompto, if you will just bear with me for ten minutes?

He’s not sure what bear with me means. But ten minutes is clear. He waits.

It’s only been seven minutes when there’s a knock at the door. The daytime silent one opens it and looks outside. Then he opens it wider and Ignis comes in.

“Good afternoon,” he says. He’s carrying some thin books. He comes and sits down on the couch opposite and holds out the books. “From what Noctis told me, I thought you might find these useful.”

He takes the books. The top one has a schematic drawing of a person with a worried expression. How Does my Body Work?, it says in large blue letters. The second one has a schematic drawing in a different style of a person with long hair and a very swollen stomach. Let’s Talk about the Birds and the Bees, it reads. Both books look useful, although he assumes the first is concerned with human bodies, not with MT units. Still, it will be useful to know more about how human bodies work. And he would definitely like to know more about birds. He wonders why the person depicted on the cover of the second book has such a swollen stomach. But maybe the book will explain.

“Thank you,” he says.

“You’re welcome,” Ignis replies. “I take it Cor has been discussing issues of – sex with you?”

“Yes,” he says.

Ignis looks like he’s trying not to smile. “Well, I’m pleased he finally got around to it,” he says.

“Yes,” he says again, even though he’s not sure what Ignis means. He still hasn’t managed to collect any data about intimate touching. “Do you want to touch anyone else’s penis or their vagina?” he asks.

The daytime silent one makes a strangled noise. Ignis doesn’t seem to hear it, though. “Hm,” he says, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I certainly have had those sorts of feelings from time to time. But my work keeps me very busy, so I rarely have time to act on them.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about what Cor said, about how old you have to be before you want to perform intimate touching. He thinks that Ignis must be at least twenty five years old. Then he remembers his other assignment. “Do you feel lonely?” he asks.

Ignis seems to think for a moment. “Yes, sometimes,” he says at last. “But I think – most people probably feel lonely sometimes. And it can be difficult – my family are – well. Yes – sometimes I do feel lonely.”

So Ignis feels lonely sometimes. Ignis is the first person he’s found who feels lonely sometimes. But he said most people feel lonely sometimes. “Are there many people who never feel lonely?” he asks.

“It’s hard to say,” Ignis says. “But not so very many, I imagine. It’s part of the human condition.”

“But Noctis said he’s not lonely,” he says.

Ignis raises his eyebrows. “Did he, indeed?” he asks. “Well. I – couldn’t comment on that, I’m afraid.”

“Oh,” he says.

Ignis gives him a considering look. “Are you lonely, Prompto?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t know what it feels like.” Ignis can help, though, because he knows what it feels like. “Does it feel bad?”

“Yes – sometimes just a little bad and sometimes very bad,” Ignis says. He frowns. “I would describe it as – a sort of gnawing feeling here.” He touches his stomach. “And a desire to see one’s friends or loved ones that is hard to ignore even if you’re trying to do something else. Along with a – a sort of sadness, I suppose.”

He thinks about the description. It’s clear and detailed. Ignis is good at describing things. And he thinks – he thinks he’s felt that feeling. The feeling in his stomach. And the wanting to see people. So that’s good. So now he knows that he’s probably lonely. He’ll be able to tell Dr Fortis in the morning when she calls.

Ignis looks around. “I imagine spending all your time in here is enough to make anyone lonely,” he says. “I – have some things I need to do this afternoon, but I could – bring my laptop here, if you would like? That way you’ll have some company.”

“You want to come and stay here?” he asks.

“If you would like that,” Ignis says.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. He hasn’t seen Ignis much at all since he got lost. He hasn’t seen anyone much at all, except Cor and Arcis. And now he wants – he wants Ignis to come and sit in the room with him. He wants it enough that his chest starts to hurt with it.

“Well,” Ignis says, standing up, “I’ll just go and fetch my things. I’ll be back soon.”

“Yes,” he says. “Goodbye.” He wishes that there was a system like the phone symbols he could use in speech to indicate his emotions. He wants to make it clear to Ignis that he’s happy. But there isn’t a system, and so he just watches Ignis go. Then he sees he has a message on the phone. It’s from Noctis.

Noct: Is Specs there with you?

Prompto: He just went away.

Prompto: But he said he would come back, so that I won’t be as lonely.

There’s no response for a moment. Then a new message comes.

Noct: That

Noct: That’s why you asked me about being lonely before?

Prompto: Yes. I wanted to know what it feels like, so I could find out if I was lonely or not. But Ignis told me, so now I know I am.

He waits. There’s a longer pause this time. Then there’s a message.

Noct: I’m gonna ask my dad if we can do something.

Noct: Like, maybe if we have ten guards each he’ll let us hang out.

Noct: He’s being ridiculous 😠

He remembers the question he wanted to ask Noctis.

Prompto: Do you love your dad?

Noct: Uh

Noct: I mean, yeah, obviously

Noct: Doesn’t mean he’s not a dick, though

Noctis said obviously. So that means that everyone must love their dad. From the way Noctis said it, maybe that’s part of the definition of dad.

The door opens again and Ignis comes in carrying a bag. He smiles at him.

“Talking to Noct?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. “Do you love your dad?” Then he remembers that he doesn’t know if Ignis has a dad. He’s never asked him about it before.

Ignis pauses, then sets his bag down and bends over it, opening it and rummaging inside. “Of course,” he says. His face is hidden and his voice is a little muffled. “Although I don’t see very much of my – father.”

“Oh,” he says. Ignis straightens up and starts arranging his laptop on the table. He seems very focused on it and he doesn’t look at him at all. “What does father mean?”

Ignis does look over, then. He looks surprised. “It – means the same thing as dad,” he says.

“Oh,” he says again. “There’s more than one word for the same thing?”

Ignis sits down at the table. “Yes,” he says. “That’s quite common, and especially so with family members.” He glances over at the books on the table. “I shall have to get you a thesaurus,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.” He doesn’t know what a thesaurus is, but before he has time to ask, the phone buzzes in his hand.

Noct: You OK?

Noct: Did Ignis come back?

Noct: I can send Gladio to hang out with you as well

Prompto: Yes, Ignis came back. 🙂

Noct: Cool

Noct: Gladio says he’ll come by later

Noct: Did Cor leave you on your own?

Prompto: Yes.

Prompto: He explained to me why people weren’t permitted to touch me but then he had to leave. 😟

Prompto: But he said it was still permitted to perform high five and fist bump. 🙂

Noct: Uh

Noct: What?

Noct: People aren’t allowed to touch you?

Noct: How come?

Prompto: Because when I got lost I permitted a person to touch me incorrectly, and Cor was angry. 🙁

Noct: You

Noct: what

Noct: Incorrectly?

Noct: Like how?

Prompto: The person touched my stomach.

Prompto: Cor says it was intimate touching.

Prompto: I’m not permitted to allow people to touch me intimately.

He waits for a response. But there isn’t one. He waits. Sometimes Noctis takes a while to respond to messages. But this time it’s longer than usual. Noctis didn’t say goodbye. But he isn’t responding. He feels something in his stomach. He feels – sad. Maybe he feels lonely. He liked talking to Noctis. But now Noctis isn’t responding and he feels lonely.

Then something else happens. The door crashes open, suddenly enough to make him jump. He turns and stares. It’s Noctis. He strides through the door. He looks very angry.

“What the fuck, dude?” Noctis says.

Ignis gets to his feet. He looks angry, too. “Highness--” he says, but Noctis turns sharply towards him.

“Did you know about this?” he asks. “Did you know that some – asshole put his hands on Prompto?”

Ignis’s face changes. He raises his hands, palms outwards. “We can talk about this--” he says.

“Fuck you, you knew?” Noctis says. “Fuck you, Specs.”

Then there’s the sound of footsteps and Gladio appears in the doorway, out of breath.

“For fuck’s sake, Noct,” he says. “You know you’re not allowed down here, and it’ll be my ass on the line.”

Noctis turns to face Gladio, looking even angrier, but Ignis raises his hands and speaks loudly.

“All right, all right, gentlemen,” he says. “Let’s all calm down.” He turns to look at him. “Prompto, I’m so sorry. I’m afraid none of your friends have any manners.”

He swallows. His heart is beating fast. Everyone’s angry – except Ignis, maybe – and he doesn’t know why. Noctis turns to look at him, then his mouth flattens. He looks like he’s swallowing hard.

“Specs,” he says, but he’s still looking at him.

“It didn’t go further than touching,” Ignis says quietly. “Not that that isn’t bad enough.”

Noctis nods. “And the guy?” he asks. “You’re gonna take care of him, right?”

“I’m tracking him down,” Ignis says. His voice sounds strange and flat.

“Good,” Noctis says. Then he walks over to him. “Sorry I yelled,” he says. Then he leans forward and hugs him. It’s not like last time. Last time Noctis only held him for a second, but this time he holds on for longer, and squeezes tightly. So he hugs Noctis back. Cor said hugs were permitted. It’s good. He likes hugs. And he’s glad that Noctis doesn’t seem to be angry any more.

“Noct,” Gladio says. He doesn’t sound angry any more, either.

“Yeah, I know,” Noctis says. His voice is loud, right by his ear. “Just – give me one minute, OK?”

Gladio doesn’t say anything else. Noctis keeps hugging him. Then he lets go. He steps back. He swipes his hand across his eyes.

“It’s not fair,” he says. Then he swallows and straightens his shoulders. He looks at him in silence for a moment. Then he punches him lightly on the arm.

“I gotta go, or Gladio’s dad’s gonna have a fit,” he says.

He nods. He doesn’t want Noctis to go. Even though Noctis was angry. But Noctis says he has to go.

Noctis turns and walks back to the door. Gladio reaches out an arm and puts it round his shoulders. He looks over the top of Noctis’s head at him.

“Sorry, kid,” he says. “Like His Highness says, my old man’ll lose it if he catches him here.” He glances at the daytime silent one. “Keep it under your hat, huh, Lacertus?”

The daytime silent one shrugs. Gladio starts to lead Noctis away. But then Noctis pauses and looks back.

“Hey – I’m gonna--” he says. Then he shakes his head. “We’re gonna figure something out,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. It’s what Cor always says. “Goodbye.”

“Bye,” Noctis says. Then Gladio closes the door and they’re gone.

He sits down on the couch. Ignis sits down, too. He sighs and takes off his glasses, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m sorry about that, Prompto,” he says.

He’s not sure why Ignis is sorry. It was good to see Noctis.

“Are you all right?” Ignis asks.

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t really understand why Noctis came to see him, or why he was so angry. Or why he hugged him. But it was good.

Ignis nods. “I’m glad,” he says.

The phone buzzes on the table. He picks it up. It’s a message from Noctis.

Noct: Wanna play King’s Knight?

The feeling in his stomach that he thinks might be lonely is barely there any more.

Prompto: Yes. 🙂

Noct: Cool

The invitation comes through, and they play.

~

That day feels better than the days before. Even though he felt lonely in the morning, the afternoon is good. Ignis stays with him, and then Cor comes back. Gladio comes later in the afternoon. Then Ignis brings him a new book. The cover says Royal Lucian Thesaurus, and Ignis explains it’s a book that lists all the words that have similar meanings to each other. He doesn’t think that will be useful until he opens it and realises how many words there are that have similar meanings to each other. He spends a lot of time looking at the book, and forgets to look at the other books Ignis brought him until it’s too late and Cor tells him to go to bed.

He lies in bed and thinks about all the things that happened in the day. A lot of things happened. He feels very tired. But it takes him a long time to get to sleep. He listens to Cor breathing next to him and thinks about everything. Things are even more complicated than he thought they were. But now he knows more things. He knows that he’s lonely and he knows that it’s better when Ignis and Noctis and Gladio come to see him. He knows that he’s permitted to perform fist bump and high five and to allow people to hug him. And maybe if he passes the sleepwalking test, he’ll be permitted to leave the blue room. Then he can go outside again and see the birds and the trees and the rain. So it’s good. Even though he’s still in the blue room and he’s still lonely, it’s better than before.

He falls asleep.

~

The next morning, the phone buzzes while he’s having breakfast with Cor. It’s a message from Noctis.

Noct: Morning

He frowns at the message. It seems odd. But it is certainly morning.

Prompto: Yes.

Then he remembers to use an appropriate symbol to indicate his emotional state.

Prompto: 😐

Noct: …

Noct: OK, whatever

Noct: My dad is making me do some stupid hand-shaking thing this morning, but I’ll be done by 11

Noct: So I’ll message you, OK?

Prompto: Yes. 🙂

Noct: Cool

Noct: Hope you’re OK

Noctis doesn’t send any more messages. Cor looks over at him.

“Texting Noct?” he asks.

“Yes,” he says. “His dad is making him do some stupid hand-shaking thing.”

Cor chokes a little on his coffee. “OK, he is not a good influence on you,” he says. But he’s smiling.

Then he’s reminded of something he wanted to ask Cor the night before, when he was reading the thesaurus.

“Are you my dad?” he asks.

This time, Cor chokes hard enough to spit coffee out onto the table. He puts the cup down and stares at him. His eyes are very wide. Then he looks over at Arcis, standing by the door. Arcis is grinning broadly.

“Out,” Cor says.

Arcis salutes smartly and almost runs out of the door. Cor turns back to him. He wipes a hand over his mouth.

“Did someone tell you I was your – your dad?” he asks. He sounds hoarse.

“No,” he says.

“Then – why are you asking me that?” Cor asks.

He starts to feel nervous. Cor is reacting strangely. He thinks he must have got it wrong. “Because – I read in Royal Lucian Thesaurus that Papa means the same as dad, and you’re Papa Bear,” he says. “And because you’re my superior and I love you. So I thought that maybe you were my dad.”

Cor’s mouth falls open. He just stares at him for a moment. “You – what?” he asks.

The nervousness in his stomach gets worse. “I thought – maybe – you were my dad,” he says, his voice falling to a whisper.

“No, I – before that,” Cor says. “You said – you said you love me?”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes. I love you.”

Cor opens and closes his mouth silently. “You – you even know what that means, kid?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “It means very strong affection that’s painful, but in a good way. I read it in Royal Lucian Dictionary.”

Cor covers his eyes with his hand. “Those fucking books,” he whispers.

He waits. Something’s not right. He didn’t expect Cor to react like this. He expected him to say yes or no. But he hasn’t said either.

Cor takes his hand away from his eyes. “Listen,” he says hoarsely. “Listen. A dad isn’t just – A dad is supposed to be someone who looks after you, who makes sure your life is good and that you – get all the things you need. A dad isn’t just – whatever guy happens to find you and bring you in. You can’t just – pick the first guy you meet.”

He doesn’t really understand what Cor’s saying. “You do all those things,” he says. Is Cor trying to say he is his dad? He wishes he would answer more clearly.

“No, I--” Cor says. “You just deserve – someone better. Someone who’s not such a fuck up.”

“Oh,” he says. He still doesn’t understand. “Do I have a dad?” he asks. Maybe he doesn’t have a dad because he’s an MT unit. “Who assigns dads?”

Cor stares at him. “Fuck, I’m an asshole,” he mutters. Then he shakes his head. “No-one assigns them. Most people – but that doesn’t matter. You can – you can choose. You don’t have to have a dad if you don’t want.”

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t realise he was supposed to choose. It seems strange, to permit him to choose his own superior. But a lot of things that humans do are strange. “Can I choose you?”

Cor swallows. His eyes look bright. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asks.

He thinks about dads. He thinks about Arcis and his dad. He didn’t see them for very long on the video. But he liked watching them. He’s watched the video lots of times. He thinks about the other things he knows about dads. But mostly he thinks about Arcis and the video.

“Yes,” he says. “If I can choose.”

Cor nods. He stands up. He rubs the back of his neck. He puts his hands behind his head and blows his breath out. He walks over to the window and leans against it, one hand on either side of the frame, head bowed, breathing strangely. It’s strange. He’s behaving strangely. It makes him nervous. He stands up and goes over to Cor. Maybe Cor’s sick again. Maybe he’s going to fall down. He puts a hand on Cor’s arm. And then Cor turns sharply and wraps his arms around him, squeezing him tight.

“Fuck,” Cor mutters in his ear. “This is it. Shit, OK. OK. Yeah.” He thinks Cor’s crying. He’s not sure why. He squeezes Cor back so maybe he’ll feel better. Cor just breathes thickly in his ear for another moment or two. Then he pulls back. He puts one hand on each side of his face and presses his mouth to his forehead. Then he hugs him again.

“Fuck, kid,” he says. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. But I guess – I guess I’m doing this.”

Then he holds him out at arm’s length. Now he can see Cor’s face. Cor’s definitely crying. His face is streaked with tears.

“Then – it’s OK?” he asks. “You are my dad?” He wants to make sure, because it doesn’t seem very clear.

Cor coughs. “Guess so, kid,” he says. His voice sounds very low. “Seems like you’re stuck with me.”

“Oh,” he says. “Good.” So that’s clear. Now he knows. It’s good. Everyone else has a dad, so he thinks it’s good that he has one, too. If he’d known he was supposed to choose he would have chosen Cor a lot earlier.

Cor nods. “Finish your breakfast,” he says, his voice still low and hoarse. But when he turns away to go and sit back at the table, he hears Cor mutter fuck, Fortis will murder me, and then, in a louder voice, “Hey.”

He turns back. Cor scrubs at his eyes. “I love you, too, kid,” he says. “Don’t forget it.”

He feels a sudden warmth in his chest. He didn’t know Cor loved him. It’s good. It’s good.

Cor smiles at him. Then he frowns. “Wait, what was that about Papa Bear?” he asks.

“Arcis calls you that,” he says. “And papa means the same thing as dad.” He doesn’t know what bear means.

Cor’s mouth twitches. “Arcis, huh?” he says.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “OK,” he says. He walks past him, squeezing his shoulder as he passes. “Finish your breakfast. I just gotta have a quick word with someone.”

He sits down and picks up his cup. Cor leaves the room and closes the door behind him. He hears him calling Arcis’s name, muffled through the wood. He drinks the tea from the cup. It makes him feel warm.

He feels warm.

Notes:

Look, I got a lot of beautiful pictures of hugs in my inbox this month, OK? What can I say, I was inspired...

Chapter 53

Notes:

Hellooooo I aten't dead! OK, firstly, apologies for the slowness of this chapter. I have unfortunately been having some fairly major health issues, so stuff has fallen by the wayside a bit. But thank you all for all your kind comments -- they have really helped to keep my spirits up ♥ This chapter isn't really what I expected it to be when I started it, but hopefully you enjoy it anyway.

Secondly, and more importantly, do I have a link dump for you guys! Some seriously talented people have been making up for my creativity gap, as follows:

Jukithecat made a very cute memeification of Prompto and Cor's big bonding moment from the last chapter, awwww.

Raberbagirl started not one, but two fics based on PWS! The first one is an amazing crossover with Batman, in which a somewhat lost Bruce Wayne finds Prompto before Green Jacket Guy does and takes him under his wing. I don't know a whole lot about Batman, but I really enjoyed reading this and absolutely loved getting the outsider POV on our kid. The second fic is set in the future and involves Prompto going back to the facility. I haven't read this one as I don't want to confuse my own ideas, but I'm sure it is also awesome, so you should go and read! ♥

And last but definitely not least, Breezy Cheezy has made a ton of art! First up is an absolutely adorable comic of Noctis bursting in and hugging Prompto. The emotions are so clear here (except to Prompto, but he's a novice so we need to cut him some slack ;)) and I love the body language and colouring. Awww, Noct ♥

Secondly, a mega-comic of the Ultimate Daddening scene. If you wanted to get visuals of Cor having All The Emotions, here they are! It's pretty much exactly as I imagined it, and the amount of detail here must have taken for ever to do. I love it a lot :D

Thirdly, a sketch (top left) of Prompto falling asleep on Arcis. Awwww, our kiddo is so comfortable with his favourite Silent One!

And finally, set of sketches of Prompto interacting with the characters from RaberbaGirl's crossover fic. Read the fic to get more details on what's going on here! Once again, there is much fluff and adorableness and just a touch of angst (my favourite).

Phew! You guys are mega-creative and as always I am thrilled ♥♥♥ If I missed anything, please let me know! I am not at my sharpest right now... Please give the authors/artists lots of love!

Chapter Text

He waits for Cor to come back. Or for one of the silent ones to come. But that doesn’t happen. Instead, it’s quiet for a while. Then there’s a knock on the door. There’s nobody in the room but him. He’s not sure whether he’s permitted to respond to knocks on the door. But then the person who knocked on the door opens it without waiting for a response. It’s good – he doesn’t have to respond. The person who knocked on the door is Gladio. That’s good, too.

“Morning, squirt,” Gladio says, glancing around. “All by your lonesome?”

Lonesome sounds like lonely. But he isn’t lonely. Gladio’s here.

“No,” he says. “Good morning.”

Gladio frowns slightly and looks around again. Then he comes in and closes the door.

“His Laziness said you could use some company,” he says. “Whatcha up to?”

He chews his lip. “I don’t understand,” he says.

Gladio laughs. “Right,” he says. “I mean, what are you doing?”

Oh. Whatcha up to means what are you doing. Now he knows. “I’m waiting for Cor to come back,” he says.

Gladio drops down onto the couch and spreads his arms along the back. “I’ll wait with you,” he says.

He gets up and goes to sit on the couch opposite Gladio. It feels good, to have Gladio wait with him. He thinks he’s starting to understand more about what lonely means. And he can ask Gladio questions.

“Do you want to touch anyone else’s penis or their vagina?” he asks.

Gladio makes a strange noise and stares at him. His eyes are very wide. “Huh?” he says.

“Do you want--” he starts, but Gladio cuts him off.

“I heard you,” he says. He keeps staring at him for a moment. “Did, uh – did someone talk to you about sex?”

“Yes,” he says. “Cor did.”

Gladio doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then a smile starts to spread across his face. “Cor, huh?,” he says. “I, uh, don’t suppose anyone recorded that on video?”

He frowns. “I don’t know,” he says. “No-one was here except me and Cor.”

“Damn shame,” Gladio says. He looks very pleased. Then he shakes his head a little. “OK, listen up, squirt,” he says. “Much as it pains me to rob my future self of some pretty amazing entertainment, you can’t just go around asking people if they want to touch other people’s dicks.”

“Oh,” he says. From contextual data, he thinks that dick must mean penis or vagina, or maybe both.

“Cor didn’t tell you that?” Gladio asks.

He shakes his head. “He didn’t tell me very much,” he says. “I think he was in pain.”

Gladio makes a noise like he’s got something stuck in the back of his throat. “Don’t worry about it, kid,” he says. “He was fine.”

He nods. He doesn’t know how Gladio knows that Cor was fine, but he’s glad Cor wasn’t in pain. “Why can’t I ask about – that thing?” he asks.

“People are weird about sex, is all,” Gladio says. “They get embarrassed.”

He remembers that Dr Fortis told him about embarrassed. She said it was like falling over when you thought of yourself as a graceful person. He tries to apply this to asking people about sex, but he can’t see how it fits.

“I already asked Noctis and Ignis about it,” he says. He hopes it wasn’t too much of an error. Ignis and Noctis didn’t reprimand him.

Gladio makes another strange noise. “Noct?” he says. “You asked Prince Noctis whether he wanted to touch someone else’s dick?”

“Yes,” he says.

Gladio doubles over and starts wheezing. He stares at him. Gladio sounds like he’s in pain. He stands up and goes over to the other couch. He puts a hand on Gladio’s shoulder.

“Are you OK?” he asks. He looks around. There’s no-one to help, and he’s not permitted to leave the room. Then he remembers the phone. “Should I call Cor?” he asks.

“No, no,” Gladio says, waving a hand at him. “It’s good. I’m good.” He straightens up, wiping tears from his eyes. He’s smiling very widely. “Fuck me,” he says. “I really wish I’d been a fly on that wall.”

He doesn’t understand at all, but he’s happy that Gladio seems to be all right. He stays standing by him for a few moments to make sure. Gladio leans back on the couch and grins up at him.

“What’d he say?” he asks. “Noct, I mean.”

He frowns, trying to remember. “He didn’t say anything,” he says. “I asked him in a phone message and he didn’t reply. But then Ignis came here so I forgot about it.”

“He sent Ignis?” Gladio asks. “Fucking coward.”

He hasn’t really understood anything Gladio’s said or done in quite some time. “Noctis sent me messages this morning,” he says. “He didn’t seem angry.” He hopes he hasn’t made Noctis angry.

“Huh?” Gladio says. Then he shakes his head. “Nah, kid, he’s not angry. Just embarrassed. Like I said, people get embarrassed talking about sex. Especially Noctis.”

“Oh,” he says. He goes to sit back down on the couch. He’s reminded of something Dr Fortis told him about being embarrassed. “Because he’s between thirteen and nineteen years old?” he asks.

Gladio raises his eyebrows. “Uh – yeah,” he says. “And because he’s Noct. He’s a delicate flower.”

“Are you embarrassed?” he asks. He still doesn’t really understand the full meaning of embarrassed, but Gladio just looks pleased and relaxed.

“Me?” Gladio asks. “Nah. I don’t really get why people get freaked out about it. It’s just bodies, you know? We’ve all got one.”

“Yes,” he says. He thinks about asking some more questions. Gladio seems like a good person to ask about this subject. But Gladio speaks first.

“OK, listen,” he says. “If you want to ask people about sex, there are ways you can do it. But you can’t just ask them straight out. Like, you can ask if they’re attracted to someone.”

“Oh,” he says. Attracted means pulled towards. He tries to see how this is related to what Cor told him about sex, but he can’t see the connection.

“It’s a figure of speech,” Gladio says. “Remember how we talked about that? If I say I’m attracted to someone, everybody understands it means I want to have sex with them.”

Everybody understands. But he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand many words even when they’re used with their correct meaning, and now he’s making errors because of words that aren’t used with their correct meaning, as well.

“Don’t sweat it, kid,” Gladio says. “No-one’s going to be pissed at you for not knowing this stuff. We all know you don’t have any context.”

He feels – not completely better, but a little better. “Are you attracted to anyone?” he asks.

Gladio grins. “Plenty of people,” he says. “But there’s only so many hours in the day, you know?”

He’s about to ask what Gladio means, but then there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Gladio calls. It’s good. Gladio’s here, so he doesn’t have to worry about whether he’s allowed to respond to knocks or not.

The door opens. It’s Ignis. “Oh,” he says. “Hello, Gladio. I didn’t know you were here.”

“Yep,” Gladio says. “Thought the squirt could use a little company.”

Ignis pushes his glasses up his nose. “I agree,” he says. “Good morning, Prompto.”

“Good morning,” he says. He’s glad to see Ignis. Ignis and Gladio are both here. It’s good.

“So it sounds like you should have let me give Prompto Reproductive Rites after all,” Gladio says, grinning at Ignis now.

Ignis frowns at Gladio. “What are you referring to?” he asks.

“Kid tells me the Marshal gave him The Talk,” Gladio says. “Sounds like it was quite a production.”

Ignis’s frown remains in place, but the corners of his mouth twitch. Gladio beams at him.

“Yes, well, I’m sure we shouldn’t be gossiping,” Ignis says. He sits down next to Gladio, and Gladio thumps him on the shoulder.

“Like I’m not gonna tell the entire Crownsguard as soon as--” he starts, and then the door opens and Cor strides in. He stops when he’s just over the threshold and frowns at Ignis and Gladio.

“You two?” he says. His frown deepens. “What’s so funny?”

“Sir, nothing, sir,” Gladio says, saluting. Ignis coughs.

“We thought we would keep Prompto company,” he says. “If you’ve no objection.”

Cor keeps frowning at them for a moment. Then he shrugs.

“Good idea,” he says. “It’s good for him to see more of his friends.” He comes over to the couch and rubs his head. “I gotta do some work, kiddo, but I’m gonna be just over here, OK?” He gestures at the table.

“Yes,” he says. It’s good. Cor’s here and Ignis and Gladio are here, too. He wishes Arcis and Noctis were here. Another silent one came in behind Cor, but it’s not anyone he recognises. But Ignis and Gladio and Cor are here, and that’s good.

Gladio frowns, then, looking at the silent one who came in. “Hey, Agmen – isn’t Arcis still supposed to be on shift?”

The silent one shrugs. “He’s running laps,” he says. “The Marshal asked me to fill in.” He glances at Cor. Cor’s sitting at the table looking at his laptop and drinking coffee. He doesn’t look up.

“Huh,” Gladio says. He looks at him and raises his eyebrows. He looks back at Gladio. He waits for him to speak. But Gladio doesn’t speak. Instead, Ignis clears his throat.

“Prompto – I brought you something,” he says. He holds out a book. It’s large book with a hard cover. On the front is printed Abstract Art: A Retrospective in large letters. Underneath, in smaller letters, Exhibition Catalogue, Royal Lucian Gallery.

“I thought, given your interest in colour and – unusual taste in photographic subjects, you might find this interesting,” Ignis says.

“Thank you,” he says. He knows what abstract means in a mathematical context, but he hasn’t heard the words art or gallery before. The book is similar in size and composition to the books of images Ignis has shown him before, so he hopes that it will be similar inside as well. He opens the book and reads the instructions on the first page. They’re familiar, although tailored to this specific book. It’s satisfying, to recognise the format of the instructions. Then he turns the page.

The page is taken up with an image. But it’s not an image like the ones in the books Ignis gave him before. Those images were images of real things. But this is – like the image on the wall in the room where he slept in Cor’s apartment, that they took with them to the house by the park. The image is full of bright colours. But it doesn’t depict anything he recognises. There aren’t even any clear patterns. It’s just – colours, swirling in some places, in geometric shapes in other places, with no relationship or logic that he can see.

He frowns at the image. He instructs the mathematical element in his brain to analyse it. But the response is inconclusive. He’s about to turn the page to see if there’s an explanation when the phone on the table buzzes. He picks it up. It’s a message from Noctis.

Noct: Man, this thing is never gonna end 😖

He examines the yellow symbol, but he can’t make sense of it. While he’s still trying to analyse it, another message comes through.

Noct: Did Gladio come over?

He stops thinking about the symbol and composes a response.

Prompto: Yes. 🙂

Prompto: Ignis is here, too. 🙂

Noct: Cool. Bet you’re having more fun than me.

Noct: I had to hide in the bathroom so I could message you

Noct: Apparently it’s unprofessional to mess with your phone when you’re supposed to be representing your country

Noct: Or whatever

Noct: Shit, OK, better get back to it

The messages come in so quickly he doesn’t have time to compose responses. But then they stop coming. He reads the messages again, more carefully, and comes to the conclusion that Noctis has gone to do something else. He isn’t sure whether a response is required. And he still doesn’t understand the yellow symbol. He looks up at Ignis and Gladio.

“What does this symbol mean?” he asks.

“Let me see,” Ignis says, but Gladio holds his hand out for the phone at the same time. He isn’t sure whose instruction to follow – he thinks Ignis outranks Gladio, but he’s not completely sure. Then Gladio leans forward and takes the phone out of his hand, so he doesn’t have to worry about it any more.

“This?” Gladio says. He points at the symbol Noctis sent.

“Yes,” he says.

“It’s, like, a miserable face,” Gladio says. “It means he’s pissed off and over it.”

“It means he’s not enjoying what he’s doing,” Ignis says. It’s good. He doesn’t understand what over it means, but he understand Ignis’ explanation.

“Oh,” he says. He looks at the symbol again. It’s yellow and round like the other symbols, but he can’t relate it to a facial expression in the same way.

“Like this,” Gladio says, and then screws up his eyes and presses his lips together. He looks like he’s in pain. Then his face relaxes and he raises his eyebrows. “Get it?”

Then Ignis reaches for a notebook that’s lying on the table and draws a much larger version of the symbol. He holds it up next to Gladio’s face. “Gladio, if you would,” he says.

Gladio makes the same expression again. And – now he sees it. The angled lines are representations of Gladio’s closed eyes. The zigzag line is his pressed-together lips. Yes. He sees it. It’s not the same, but he understand how one could represent the other.

“Oh,” he says. “Yes. Thank you.”

Gladio grins. He hands the phone back. “We should up your emoji game,” he says. “Are there any more you don’t get?”

“Yes,” he says. He looks at the list of symbols. He understands the ones that are variations on an upturned mouth and a downturned mouth. But there are many more that he doesn’t understand. “This one,” he says.

Ignis leans over to look. “Ah,” he says. “That’s a winking face. It means that whatever’s being said is not intended to be taken seriously.” He draws a larger version of the symbol on a new page of the notebook and write Not serious; joking underneath. Then he holds it up next to Gladio’s face. “Gladio?”

Gladio grins and closes one eye. And yes: he sees how the symbol works. He doesn’t know what other ways there are to take something other than seriously, but there are a lot of other symbols he wants to ask about, so he keeps that question for later.

“Yes, thank you,” he says. He looks at the phone again. “This one?”

They look at the symbols for some time. Ignis draws larger versions and writes what they mean underneath them. Gladio mimics the expressions. After a while, he starts using the phone to make images of Gladio with the drawings next to him so he can study them later. There’s a lot of expressions he didn’t know about before. Some of them correspond to emotions he doesn’t yet fully understand. He doesn’t ask for more details because he wants to have a clear record of all the symbols before he decides which ones he needs to research in more detail. He thinks that if he asks for all the information for each symbol, the process will be very long and Ignis and Gladio may decide to stop helping him. Eventually, though, they come to the end of the yellow symbols. But there are a lot of other symbols that aren’t yellow and round. He looks at the first one of these. It’s red and appears to be a shape formed from an equilateral triangle and two semi-circles.

“What does this represent?” he asks. He wonders if it’s another way to represent a face. It’s the wrong colour and shape, but so are the yellow symbols.

“It’s a heart,” Gladio says.

He stares at Gladio, then looks at the symbol again. It doesn’t look like a heart. Hearts have veins and arteries attached to them.

“It means that you love something,” Ignis says.

Oh. He doesn’t understand how love relates to a heart, or how the red symbol is supposed to represent a heart. But he does know what love means, so it’s not so important how it all fits together. He just needs to know that the symbol represents love.

“You know what love is, squirt?” Gladio asks.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s a feeling of strong affection that’s painful but in a good way. I love Cor. That’s why he’s my dad.”

Gladio’s head snaps up and Ignis looks sharply at him. They’re both staring. Their eyes are wide. He looks back at them. He thinks he must have said something wrong. But he can’t think what it is. He gave the definition of love, and then he gave an example. The definition was from Royal Lucian Dictionary. He doesn’t think it can be wrong.

He realises that Ignis and Gladio have stopped looking at him. Now they’re looking at Cor. He turns to look at Cor as well. Cor’s sitting at the table with his computer in front of him and his cup in his hand, looking back at Gladio and Ignis. His eyebrows are raised.

“You two got something to say to me?” he asks.

Ignis shuts his mouth. Gladio straightens up. “No sir,” they say, both at the same time. Then Gladio starts smiling. His smile gets wider and wider, and he reaches over and hits him on the shoulder.

“Guess you’re getting pretty advanced at this shit, huh?” he says.

He’s not sure what Gladio means, but Gladio looks very pleased, so he smiles back. He likes how Gladio looks pleased so often. Gladio’s expressions are clearer than those of most of the other people he knows.

“Well,” Ignis says, “I suppose congratulations are in order.” He looks like he’s about to say something else, but then the phone buzzes again. This time it’s a phone call, not a message. The name on the screen is Dr Fortis.

He answers the phone. “Hello?”

“Hello, Prompto,” Dr Fortis says. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m OK,” he says. He realises Cor is frowning at him. Who is it? Cor mouths. “It’s Dr Fortis,” he says.

Cor stands up, then. “Let’s get you some privacy,” he says. He takes his arm and leads him to the bathroom. “Remember the intelligence service is still listening,” he says. “They won’t reveal anything unless they consider it to be a threat, though.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” He hadn’t considered that he should have privacy to speak to Dr Fortis on the phone. But it feels better to think about it. That no-one’s listening – no-one that he knows. That Cor’s not listening, so he can say things without worrying about what Cor will think.

Cor rubs his head and then closes the bathroom door. He’s alone. He sits on the side of the bath. Dr Fortis speaks again.

“Are you ready to talk now, Prompto?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says.

“Good,” Dr Fortis says. “I wanted to ask you if you remembered anything else about the times you’ve moved in your sleep?”

He thinks about all the things he’s already told her. He feels like there’s something else, but he can’t bring it into focus. He keeps thinking of the park where he met the one with the green jacket. But he didn’t fall asleep there, and he didn’t move anywhere until the one with the green jacket came. So that can’t be relevant.

“No,” he says. “I can’t think of anything else.”

“All right,” Dr Fortis says. “I have a plan in mind, but I need to clear it with the King’s Shield first. Then we can discuss whether it’s acceptable to you.”

He doesn’t know why it matters whether it’s acceptable to him. But then he thinks – Dr Fortis asked him if he was willing for her to make him sleepwalk. She didn’t order him to do it. And Cor didn’t order him to do it. They asked him if it was acceptable. That’s what they do. They ask him about the acceptability of things a lot. So – he does know why it matters. Because they don’t want him to do things that aren’t acceptable. Because-- Because--

“Prompto?” Dr Fortis asks. “Are you still there?”

“Yes,” he says. The thought slips away.

“Do you have any more questions?” Dr Fortis asks.

He has so many questions. He always has so many questions.

“Are you anyone’s dad?” he asks.

There’s a brief pause. Then Dr Fortis replies. She sounds like she’s smiling.

“Well, in general we have different names for male and female parents,” she says. “Dad is the name for male parents, with occasional exceptions. Female parents are usually called mom.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t remember hearing the word mom before. “What’s the difference between male and female parents?” He wonders if there’s a difference in function, but it seems strange to distribute functions based on whether someone is male or female.

“Hm,” Dr Fortis says, “that’s – quite a complicated question, but probably the simplest answer is that there aren’t any hard and fast differences. However, due to the biological aspects of many parent-child relationships, the most common situation is for a child to have two parents, one male and one female, and it’s useful for them to have different titles in order to make it easier to distinguish between them.”

He considers this. He doesn’t know what she means by biological aspects, but there are other questions he wants to ask first.

Child is the rank for the subordinate of a parent?” he asks. If that’s the case, then that’s his rank. It would be good, to know his rank.

“No,” Dr Fortis says. “Parents and children are not part of a military hierarchy, and as such they do not have ranks assigned to them and – at least in our culture – the relationship is not considered to involve subordination.”

He takes the phone away from his ear and stares at it. Then he puts it back to his ear. He tries to understand the meaning of what Dr Fortis said. But--

“I don’t understand,” he says.

There’s another pause, longer this time. “Prompto,” Dr Fortis says. “Do you understand that not everyone is a member of the military?”

He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. He closes his mouth again. No, he doesn’t understand that. He hadn’t even considered that possibility. Because--

“But – what else is there?” he asks. The military is – the only thing that exists. He thought it was. Isn’t it?

“Ah, I see,” Dr Fortis says. “Well. I must admit that I’m not familiar with the social structure in Niflheim – where you came from – but here in Lucis, the military only perform functions associated with war, combat and security. All other functions are performed by civilians. For example, teaching, medicine, interpreting and applying the law, working in shops and restaurants, performing government functions, and so on. I know you may not understand what all of those functions are, but the key thing is that they’re non-military occupations, and so the people who perform them are not subject to military hierarchies.”

He swallows. “Oh,” he says. It’s – not something he’d considered. He hadn’t even considered it. He tries to consider it, but it’s – difficult.

“In fact, I’m not a member of the military myself,” Dr Fortis says.

He blinks. He feels – blank. He’s not even surprised. He just – doesn’t understand.

Dr Fortis doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Then she speaks. “Prompto?” she says. “Are you all right?”

He clears his throat. “Yes,” he says. His voice sounds strange.

“Prompto, I think that this conversation is one we should return to when we can talk face to face,” Dr Fortis says. “Perhaps I can come and see you tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he says again. He feels – dazed. He doesn’t want to talk to Dr Fortis any more. It’s good that she doesn’t want to talk to him, either.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Dr Fortis says. She doesn’t sound like she’s smiling any more.

“Yes,” he says. He’s not sure. But he doesn’t know what else to say.

“Can you find Cor so I can speak to him before I go?” Dr Fortis asks.

He stands up. For a moment he feels dizzy, but then his head clears. He walks out of the bathroom. Cor is sitting at the table. He walks over to him and holds out the phone.

Cor looks up at him and then frowns. He stands up and takes his arm. “Hey,” he says. “Sit down.” He leads him to the couch and pushes him down. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He holds out the phone.

“Huh?” Cor says. Then his face clears. “Oh, she’s still on the line?” He takes the phone. “Doc?”

There’s silence while Dr Fortis speaks. Cor nods. “Yeah, I got that. No, he’s OK, just – looks a little spooked. Yeah, I will. Thanks, Doc. See you tomorrow.”

He puts the phone on the table, then frowns down at him. Then he glances at Ignis and Gladio.

“A little space?” he says.

Gladio is leaning forward, frowning at him, but when Cor speaks, he looks up, then jumps to his feet.

“I gotta – go train,” he says. “See ya, blondie.”

“Yes,” Ignis says, rising to his feet less abruptly. “I’m afraid I also have an appointment. It was nice to see you, Prompto.”

“Yes,” he says. He watches them leave. Cor jerks his head at the silent one, and he slips out, too. Then Cor sits on the low table in front of the couch.

“The Doc didn’t tell me what she said to you to spook you,” he says. “Confidentiality. You wanna tell me? You don’t have to.”

He stares at Cor. For the first time in a while, he feels as though nothing is solid. But Cor is solid. He reaches out, and Cor grabs his arm, then his shoulder.

“You’re OK,” Cor says. “I’m right here.”

Yes. Cor is right here. He swallows.

“Are you – a soldier?” he asks.

Cor frowns. “Yeah,” he says. “I thought you knew that?”

He swallows again. Yes. He thought he knew that, too.

“What’s your rank?” he asks.

Cor’s frown deepens. “Field marshal,” he says.

He nods. “What’s my rank?” he asks.

Cor stares at him. He waits. Then Cor’s hand tightens on his shoulder.

“You don’t have a rank,” he says. “You’re not a soldier.”

He sags back into the couch. He’s not a soldier. He’s – not a soldier. People here – there are people here who aren’t soldiers and he – is one of them.

He’s one of them.

“Kid, come on,” Cor says. “You already knew that, right? You’re just a kid, plus you’re – not from Lucis.”

“No,” he whispers. “I didn’t know.”

Cor puts a hand over his eyes for a moment. Then he takes it away.

“OK,” he says. “Well, we already know I suck at communication. So – I’m sorry. There’s a lot of stuff that I should have talked to you about before. But I – I don’t always realise what it is that you don’t know.”

He grips the edge of the couch. He can feel Cor’s hand on his shoulder. It’s warm and heavy. It feels solid. He wants to ask – something. A lot of things. But he can’t think of any words. Cor’s a soldier, but he’s not a soldier. And people who aren’t soldiers don’t have ranks. And--

“That’s why – you’re not my commanding officer,” he says. “That’s why?”

Cor smiles a little, but he doesn’t look very pleased. “Yeah, kid,” he says. “That’s why.”

“But I thought--” he says. He thought – he thought dad was a commanding officer. Or a superior, at least. A designation of rank. But-- “But – it’s still OK for you to be assigned as my dad?”

Cor’s face changes, then. “Shit, kid,” he says. Then he leans forward and hugs him. “Yeah,” he says. “That’s not a military thing. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

He nods. It’s good. But he still feels – lost.

“Hey,” Cor says, sitting back but keeping a hand on his shoulder. “Nothing’s changed. Right? You just understand a little better now. But everything else is the same. You and me, we’re the same as we were.”

“I don’t understand better,” he whispers.

Cor nods. “What can I do to help?” he asks.

His mind feels simultaneously crowded and empty, full of noise and confusion but with nothing useful he can draw on. He doesn’t know how to be anything except a soldier. He doesn’t even know how to imagine what it’s like to not be a soldier.

“Are there – instructions?” he asks.

Cor frowns. “Instructions?” he says. “For – life in general?”

He nods. He presses his fingers into the edge of the couch.

“Kid,” Cor says. “I’m really sorry. That’s not how it works. Life’s just – you just have to do your best. No-one really knows what they’re doing.”

No-one knows. “Don’t you know?” he asks.

Cor stares at him. Then he laughs. “Not a clue,” he says. “The military stuff – yeah. That’s straightforward. But everything outside that?” He shakes his head. “I thought I had a handle on it before you showed up, but now it’s pretty clear that I have no idea.”

Cor doesn’t know. Cor says no-one knows. But Dr Fortis said that most people weren’t in the military. So that means most people don’t have any instructions at all.

“How – do you--?” he starts. But he doesn’t know how to finish the question. He wants to know how anyone knows how to do anything, without instructions. How does anyone live that way?

Cor shrugs. “I just do my best,” he says. “I try to do what I think is right. I fuck up a lot. I hope that someone will tell me if I fuck up too bad.” He smiles at him and squeezes his shoulders. “That’s your job, kid.”

“That’s – my assignment?” he asks. He doesn’t know exactly what it means, but the idea of an assignment seems like – something solid to cling to.

Cor takes one hand off his shoulder and scratches the back of his head. “That’s not – I didn’t mean that,” he says. He stares at him, frowning now. “Hey, listen,” he says. “You know, you’re not the only one who wishes there were instructions. This stuff is hard. We all wish it was easier.”

He shakes his head. “Then why – doesn’t someone write some instructions?” he asks.

Cor stares at him a moment longer, then he laughs quietly. “People try. Problem is, since none of us really know what we’re doing, most of the things they write are bullshit. There are a few people who are good at it. Like Dr Fortis.”

“Yes,” he says. Yes. Dr Fortis is good at providing instructions. “But then – if everyone wants instructions – why doesn’t everyone just be in the military?”

Cor looks surprised. Then he shakes his head. “That’s not – the military’s not that great, kiddo. It’s not--” He pauses and frowns. “It’s not – life. The only point of the military is to protect the state so that the people can have a better life. If everyone was in the military, there’d be no-one out there having that better life to protect.”

He stares at Cor. “The – the point – I thought the point of the military was to destroy our enemies and grind their cities into dust?” he says.

Cor closes his eyes for a moment. Then he takes his hands off his shoulders and stands up. He rubs the back of his head. “We should get you back in school,” he says. “It’s not good for you to have nothing to do.”

He looks up at Cor. Cor doesn’t seem pleased. “Can I – be in the military?” he asks. Maybe it’s a mistake. They didn’t realise he’s supposed to be in the military. Maybe.

Cor sighs and puts a hand on his head. It feels warm and solid. “No,” he says. “Maybe in a few years, if you still want to, and if – things change. But not now. You’ve spent enough time being a soldier.”

He opens his mouth, but then he closes it again. It’s clear: he’s not permitted to be in the military. So he doesn’t have a rank. So he doesn’t know where he stands. Previously, he assumed he was subordinate to everyone he knew. And – he’s an MT unit, so he must still be subordinate. But he doesn’t think it’s possible for an MT unit to not be a soldier. MT units are created to be soldiers. That’s their only purpose. That’s his only purpose. And now – he doesn’t have a purpose. He doesn’t even have an assignment. He thought Cor gave him one, but he didn’t.

Cor’s looking down at him. His mouth is turned down at the corners. “I’m not--” Cor says. Then he sits down on the low table again and puts his head in his hands. “Why can I never get this right?” he mutters. “She makes it look so easy.” Then he runs his hand through his hair and leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees.

“Listen, kid,” he says. “Think about – your plants. Or the park, going to the park and looking at the birds. Or playing whatever that game is with Prince Noctis. That’s a life. None of that is military stuff. That stuff is real – it’s what you should be doing. All those things – the reason we have a military is to protect people like you so you can do those things. Those things are – what makes it all worth it.”

He stares at Cor. Those things – all the things he’s talking about are things he never did before. Before he met Cor, he carried out drills and took tests and performed training and underwent modification and correction. It was all in preparation, so that he could destroy the enemies. But since he came here – he hasn’t done those things. Not very often. He’s undergone some training and tests, but mostly, he’s done other things. He’s looked at images and played with Noctis and been outside. He’s listened to music and tried different foods and learned about emotions and how to depict them in symbolic form. Even most of the training he’s undergone can hardly be preparation for battle. Assembling foods and reading books about things that never happened and analysing the elements of music will be no help against enemy soldiers. He hasn’t even thought very much about destroying enemies. It didn’t seem important. But he never – he never thought hard about it before. He assumed there was some purpose to all the tasks he was performing. Or, no – he didn’t assume it. He didn’t think about it. He didn’t want to think about it because it didn’t make sense. But he didn’t want to stop doing those things. Those things are so much – better than drills and tests and modifications.

“That’s – my assignment?” he asks.

“To have a life?” Cor asks.

He nods. Those things – all those things are a life. That’s what Cor said.

Cor stares at him. Then he smiles.

“Yeah, kid,” he says. “That’s your assignment.”

“Oh,” he says. Suddenly he feels – not exactly normal, but better. Less disoriented. He still needs to think. He needs to think about all the things Cor’s said. But now he knows there’s an assignment. It’s something.

“Think you can do that for me?” Cor asks.

He nods. He’s not permitted to go outside, but he can do some of the things, at least.

Cor nods. “Good man,” he says. He stands up again. “We should be thinking about lunch.”

“Cor?” he says.

“Yeah?” Cor looks down at him.

“I don’t have a rank,” he says. “How do I know – who I am if I don’t have a rank?”

Cor stands in silence for a moment. Then he speaks.

“You’re Prompto Argentum,” he says. “That’s who you are. You’re my kid.”

He considers this. It’s not right. Prompto Argentum isn’t a rank. But he’s Cor’s kid. Cor’s his dad. Dr Fortis said dad wasn’t a military rank, but it’s – a definition. It’s some kind of definition. So he’s Cor’s kid. It’s not enough for him to fully understand. But it’s something. It’s definitely something.

“OK?” Cor says.

He looks up. Cor’s standing in front of the window, his face in shadow. But he doesn’t need to see his expression. He knows he’s waiting for his answer.

“OK,” he says.

Chapter 54

Notes:

Helloooooo out there! Sorry once again for the wait -- I am still going through some health stuff (non-plague related), but Raberba Girl recently updated their amazing PWS/Batman crossover fic Shelter and I got inspired! So you have them to thank for this chapter :)

I have a lot of notes today, so buckle up! First, I'm aware that stuff has been slipping through the cracks, so here is blanket permission to make any fanworks you like based on this (or teach it in class, or show it to your therapist, or whatever you like!) I can't promise I'll read/listen/otherwise consume them (e.g. I have a weird thing about not being able to listen to podfics of my fic), but I'll link it here if you drop me a link!

OK, speaking of fanworks, I have a few to show you. Breezy-cheezy has been up to their old tricks and drawn two lovely scenes: the emoji lesson and Prompto meets chocobos! Both of these made me smile so much, and I especially love Gladio's amazing emoji face and Prompto's shining excitement at discovering a chocobo isn't just a bag/plushie/shirt but an actual! giant! bird!!!!

Granny Oaky updated a picture they drew two years ago (...I can't believe how long I've been writing this fic) to add in a very upset Cor repressing his feelings in a very Cor way. Make sure you click on the pic so you can see both frames. So cool to see how the picture has evolved! I love it :D

And finally, 0vv0b drew an adorable picture of Cor very seriously explaining to Prompto how to hug a chocobo while the crownsguard dies silently in the background. Cute and hilarious! As always, please give the artists lots of love ♥♥♥

And finally, thank you to everyone who's left comments or kudos -- I really do appreciate every single one. Hope you are all keeping safe! And since a lot of people have asked, some answers to some common questions: I don't have a Tumblr or a Twitter account, and Arcis is 24 and single ;)

OK, on to the fic!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

That night, it’s hard for him to sleep. Cor takes his pill and falls asleep, but he just lies there, staring up at the ceiling and listening to Cor breathe, wondering about all the things that have happened in the last few days. He’s not a soldier. Cor’s his dad. Cor loves him and is scared that he might get hurt, the same way he’s scared that Cor might get hurt. Humans sometimes want to touch each other’s waste evacuation organs but they don’t like to talk about it. Even humans wish there were instructions. It’s a lot of things. Every time he tries to think about one of the things, another thing distracts him. He doesn’t feel sleepy at all.

“Hey,” Arcis murmurs. He turns his head to see him leaning against the wall. He can’t see what he’s looking at because he’s not wearing the glasses or the fake eyes, so everything’s dark and fuzzy. “Can’t sleep?” Arcis says.

Arcis must be talking to him, because Cor’s asleep and there’s no-one else here. “No,” he says. “I keep trying.” He knows he’s supposed to sleep, but he doesn’t feel sleepy.

Arcis nods. “Come on,” he says, voice quiet. “Get up for a while, see if that tires you out.”

He gets up, puts on the glasses and goes to sit on the couch. Arcis turns on a small lamp, then sits down opposite him. Arcis doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then he rubs the back of his head and smiles a slightly crooked smile. He tries to remember if that type of smile was included in the expressions Gladio made for him, but he hasn’t had time to study them in detail, so he doesn’t know.

“So, you told the Marshal about the Papa Bear thing, huh?” Arcis says.

“Yes,” he says. “He wanted to know why I thought he was my dad.”

Arcis raises his eyebrows. “Wait – that’s why you asked him that? Because of Papa Bear?”

“Yes,” he says. “Papa means dad. I read it in Royal Lucian Thesaurus.” He doesn’t know what bear means, but it doesn’t seem to be very important.

“Huh,” Arcis says. “That – actually explains a lot.”

“Oh,” he says. “What does it explain?” He thought Arcis already knew that papa meant dad. If he didn’t know that, why did he call Cor that?

Arcis shakes his head, smiling again. “When he came looking for me I couldn’t tell if he wanted to hug me or punch me,” he says. “Guess he decided to go for a compromise. I don’t think I’ve run that many laps since boot camp. Not to mention the push ups.” His smile widens a little. “So what’d he say, anyway? When you asked if he was your dad, I mean.”

“He said I could choose,” he says. “And I said I wanted him to be. Because I liked the video of your dad, so I wanted him to be my dad.”

Arcis looks surprised. “Really? You liked that video?”

“Yes,” he says. “I watch it a lot.”

Arcis smiles very wide. It makes him feel like the light in the room has increased, even though it hasn’t. It’s strange.

“You know what, kid?” Arcis says. “You’re pretty awesome. No wonder the Marshal’s so happy you chose him as a dad.”

He straightens up a little. Cor’s happy. Yes, he knows that. But – even though he knows it, it feels good to hear Arcis say it. It makes him feel good.

“What does awesome mean?” he asks.

“It means very good,” Arcis says. “You’re a really great kid.”

He stares at Arcis. The warm feeling in his chest gets much bigger, very quickly. It makes him feel like he might burst, but not in a bad way.

Arcis smiles at him. “Guess people could stand to tell you that more often, huh?” he says. “Hey, I’ll make you more videos. You want me to?”

He swallows around the warmth in his throat. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

Arcis reaches out and slaps him gently on the shoulder. It’s like when Noctis punches him, but not exactly the same. “You got it, kiddo,” he says. “Although my mom already asks me when I’m going to invite you to dinner, like, at least twice a week, and this’ll just encourage her.”

“Oh,” he says. Mom is the name for a female parent. Dr Fortis told him that, but Arcis is the only person he remembers talking about a mom. “Do you love your mom?” he asks. He wonders if a mom is exactly equivalent to a dad, except female.

“Of course,” Arcis says. “Everyone loves their mom. That’s what moms are for.”

“Oh,” he says again. It seems strange, to have a person whose function is to be loved. But loving people feels good, so maybe it makes sense. If people have a mom, then they have someone they can love. So that’s good.

“Does everyone have a mom?” he asks. He wonders if he’s supposed to have a mom. He doesn’t know any women except Dr Fortis and the one with the white coat.

“No,” Arcis says. “Lots of people do, but some people only have a dad, or they have two dads instead of a mom and a dad. And other people only have a mom or they have two moms. Some people have even more parents. I guess you could have four moms if things went that way, but then you’d probably get mommed to death.” Arcis grins. He’s smiling even though he said that a person who has four moms might die. So… So…

“It’s a figure of speech,” he says. “Mommed to death.”

Arcis laughs quietly. “Yeah, kid, it’s a figure of speech.”

Yes. So it doesn’t mean someone would actually die. He’s not sure what it does mean, but that’s good. And he knows that it’s permitted not to have a mom, so that’s good, too.

“Are you a soldier?” he asks. He thinks Arcis must be, because he wears a uniform and he behaves like a soldier sometimes, but he wants to make sure.

“Yeah,” Arcis says. “I’m a Crownsguard.”

He nods. “Are your mom and dad soldiers?” he asks.

“No, my mom’s a nurse and my dad runs a laundromat,” Arcis says. Then, before he can ask, he says, “A nurse looks after sick people and a laundromat is where you go to wash your clothes if you don’t have the right equipment at home.”

Good. It’s good, now he knows two more things that people do that aren’t military things. In the facility, malfunctioning MTs are dealt with by military technicians, but it must be different for sick humans. And in the facility uniforms were taken away and brought back clean. He doesn’t know who cleaned them. He wonders if the person who cleaned them was a soldier or not. He wonders if maybe, even in the facility, not everyone was a soldier. The thought makes his stomach feel uneasy. The extent of his lack of knowledge seems to stretch away forever in every direction, a shadowy void.

“You OK?” Arcis says. “You need me to explain more?”

He shakes his head. “Dr Fortis told me not everyone is in the military,” he says.

“Huh,” Arcis says. “You didn’t know that?”

“No,” he says. “I don’t know what things are military and what things aren’t. Except I know that playing King’s Knight and looking at plants and going to the park aren’t military things.”

Arcis grins. “Damn straight,” he says. “Military is just fighting, basically. If there’s no fighting, it’s probably not military.”

“Oh,” he says. That seems easier than he’d thought. “What about the other people who live in your house?”

“Who, my brother and sisters?” Arcis asks. “You want to know if they’re in the military?”

“Yes,” he says. He wants to write down the words brother and sister so he can look them up in Royal Lucian Dictionary, but there’s no paper or pen, so he just tries to remember them.

“Nope, I’m the only one,” Arcis says. “Lucia’s training to be a nurse, Stella’s only your age so she’s still in school, and Fors is – uh – well, my mom says he’s finding himself but mostly he just plays videogames. He got a part-time job at the Crow’s Nest last week, so we’ll see how long that lasts.” He smiles another smile, different from the ones before. There are lots of different smiles, he’s been noticing lately. He wonders if they all mean different things.

“Does the supreme commander determine who will be assigned to the military and who will be – someone who isn’t in the military?” he asks. Then he remembers Cor telling him he can’t be in the military. “Or does your dad do it?”

“Uh, no, that’s not how it works,” Arcis says. “You get to decide for yourself. Everyone gets to decide for themselves what they want to do once they’re done with school. I mean – you still gotta get the grades and be able to pass whatever tests and interviews are required – it’s kinda complicated, but no-one can make you do a job if you don’t want.”

“Oh,” he says. He frowns. “I asked Cor if I could be in the military, but he said I couldn’t.” But maybe it’s different for MT units. MT units can’t decide things for themselves. And anyway, MT units are designed to be in the military, so they can’t decide to do other things. Except Cor said he couldn’t be in the military, so that doesn’t make sense.

Arcis smiles again, another different smile. He wants to make images of all the different smiles and ask Ignis and Gladio to explain them. “You’re still too young, kiddo,” he says. “You gotta do school first, and then you can think about what you want to do.”

Cor said the same thing – that he wasn’t old enough. Cor didn’t say anything about school, though. He didn’t realise school was relevant to – anything. But it seems like school is important. It’s good. He likes school. He hopes he can do more school soon. And then – Arcis says he can think about what he wants to do. He doesn’t need to think, though. He wants to be in the military. It’s what he’s supposed to do. It’s strange that he needs school first. He never needed school when he was in the military before, at the facility. But now he knows how much more there is to know than he realised. So maybe he needs school here because there’s so many more things to know than there were in the facility.

There’s a noise from the bed, and then suddenly Cor sits bolt upright, fumbling frantically with the blankets. “Kid?” he says. “Kid?”

“He’s over here, sir,” Arcis says, half-rising to his feet. Cor doesn’t seem to hear, and Arcis takes a step towards him. “Sir,” he says, louder now. “He’s right here.”

“Cor,” he says, and Cor seems to hear that, his head snapping up. He looks over at them. His eyes are wide.

“Kid,” he whispers. Then he stumbles out of the bed and towards the couch, half-falling before he gets there.

“Whoa, hey,” Arcis says, catching him and helping him to the couch. “Those sleeping pills are pretty strong, sir. You shouldn’t be trying to do stuff.”

Cor slumps on the couch next to him. “You OK?” he mumbles, putting a heavy hand on his head.

“Yes,” he says. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“You should-- You sh’ sleep,” Cor says. Then his head droops onto his chest.

He looks at Cor and waits. But Cor’s asleep.

“Huh,” Arcis says, standing back and frowning at Cor. Then he sighs. “You think you can sleep?”

“I don’t know,” he says. He learned some more things from Arcis and that was good, but he still has a lot to think about.

Arcis nods. “Cactuar Cross it is,” he says, and pulls out a pack of cards.

“What about Cor?” he asks. “He should sleep in the bed. Then he’ll sleep better.”

“I’m pretty sure he’ll sleep better somewhere where he can lay his hands on you without opening his eyes,” Arcis says. He sits down and starts distributing the cards. “Don’t worry, kiddo. I’ll take care of Papa Bear.”

He nods. It’s good. Arcis is good at taking care of people. So he thinks Cor will be OK.

It’s good.

~

In the morning, he looks up brother in Royal Lucian Dictionary. The definition is A man or boy with the same parents as another person. Then he looks up sister and finds that it means a woman or girl with the same parents as another person. He considers this in relation to what Arcis told him the night before. The other people who live in his house are his brother and sisters. So they’re people who have the same mom and dad as he does. He didn’t know that multiple people could have the same mom and dad, but it makes sense that if that were the case, they would all live in the same house. It would be difficult for the mom and dad to perform their appropriate functions if all the brothers and sisters lived in different houses.

His phone buzzes. It’s a message from Noctis.

Noct: Hey, how’s it going?

He considers the answer. It’s quite complicated.

Prompto: It’s going badly because I’m lonely and sometimes I’m bored and annoyed and frustrated. 🙁 But it’s going well because Cor’s maintaining himself correctly and yesterday Ignis and Gladio showed me how to use yellow faces. 🙂 Dr Fortis told me not everyone is in the military but I don’t know if that’s good or bad. 😐 And I feel good because you sent me a message . 🙂 ❤️

Noct: ...

Noct: OK, well… good, I guess?

Noct: I’m sorry you’re lonely 😟

Noct: What are you going to do today?

Prompto: I don’t know. ❤️

There’s a pause. Then the phone buzzes again.

Noct: Did Specs and Gladio teach what the heart is for?

Prompto: Yes. It means love.

Noct: ...soooo why did you use it when you were just talking about not knowing what you were going to do?

Prompto: Because I love you. ❤️

Prompto: And I sent the message to you. So it’s appropriate.

There’s another pause. This one is longer. He waits, holding the phone in his hand so he’ll know as soon as the next message comes through.

Noct: You, uh

Noct: You can’t say stuff like that

He frowns down at the phone. He’s not sure what Noctis is referring to that he shouldn’t say. He didn’t think he said anything incorrect. But before he can construct a message, the phone buzzes again.

Noct: Actually, forget it. It’s all good

Noct: Um, but like

Noct: You mean you love me as a bro, right?

Prompto: What does bro mean?

Noct: Like a brother

Prompto: Oh.

Prompto: No. Your dad is the king and my dad is Cor, so you’re not my brother.

There’s another pause. Then the phone rings. It’s Noctis. He answers the phone.

“Hello,” he says.

“Dude. What?” Noctis says.

“Hello,” he says again. He wonders if Noctis can’t hear him very well.

“No, I mean – Cor’s your dad? When did this happen?” Noctis says. He sounds – something. Not angry or scared, but – louder than usual.

“Yesterday,” he says. “He said I could choose a dad, so I chose him.”

“Wait, just like that?” Noctis says. “After all of the – Specs, it’s important. I’m getting ready! Look, I’m tying my tie.”

“Just like what?” he asks.

“Just like – you know what, never mind,” Noctis says. “Cor said it out loud? Like, Prompto, I am your father?” He says this last part in a strange, low voice.

“No, he didn’t say that,” he says. “He said he was my dad. I asked for confirmation and received it.”

“Wow,” Noctis says. “That’s – that’s cool. That’s great. So are you gonna be Prompto Leonis now, or what?”

He’s not sure why he would be Prompto Leonis. He’s Prompto Argentum. He opens his mouth to tell Noctis, but Noctis speaks again.

“Listen – I gotta go to school, but – OK, so a bro is like someone that you’re really close to, so not your actual brother but someone who you, um, who you--” Noctis coughs. “Who you love like a brother,” he says, very fast, then coughs again. “So we’re bros,” he says, and then his voice gets suddenly quieter. “I mean – if you want to be.”

Now he understands. He doesn’t know what it means to love someone like a brother, but he knows that he loves Noctis, so it sounds appropriate. “Yes,” he says. “We’re bros.” It’s good: now he has a name for how he feels about Noctis as well as for how he feels about Cor.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “Cool. But, uh – you know, you don’t have to put a heart on your texts just because we’re bros. You don’t have to tell people how you feel all the time.”

“Oh,” he says. People are always asking him how he feels. And Dr Fortis says it’s good to talk about how he feels. But now Noctis says he shouldn’t. But Dr Fortis outranks Noctis, so--

“But, uh – you can if you want,” Noctis says, all in a rush. “You know. If it makes you feel better. It’s kinda weird, but – if it makes you feel better--”

“Oh,” he says again. “Yes.” He’s not sure it makes him feel better, but he likes using the symbols. It’s helpful and efficient. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Noctis says. “Not like I’m the king of emojis. Shit, OK, Ignis has his murderface on, I gotta go.”

Noctis ends the call before he has a chance to respond, but a moment later the phone buzzes.

Noct: I’ll message you after school, OK?

Prompto: Yes. ❤️

Noct: 👍

He puts the phone down and looks up to see Cor watching him.

“Talking to Noct?” Cor asks.

“Yes,” he says.

“You really miss him, huh?” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says again. “Noctis is my bro.”

Cor makes a strange noise that’s something like a cough. “Always important to keep up with your bros,” he says when he’s finished coughing.

Yes, it’s important. He’s glad Cor thinks so, too. His assignment is to have a life, and from what Cor said yesterday he thinks that talking to Noctis is an important part of having a life. So he’s glad that he got it right.

Cor looks at his watch. “The Doc’ll be here soon,” he says. “You ready?”

He goes to get ready.

~

When Dr Fortis comes in, Cor doesn’t leave immediately. Instead he stands and frowns at her. He’s been walking up and down the room for a little while, and now he bounces a little on the balls of his feet.

“I have a number of things to discuss with you,” Dr Fortis says to him, “but first I’d like to talk to Prompto alone. Is that permitted?”

Cor blows out his breath, then nods. “OK,” he says. “I can be patient.” He glances at him. “See you soon, kid.” Then he leaves.

Dr Fortis sits down and smooths her skirt over her knees. “Good morning, Prompto,” she says. “How are you feeling today?”

He considers the question. Dr Fortis says it’s important to talk about his feelings, so he wants to make sure he mentions them all. “I feel good because I know my assignment and because Cor is my dad and Noctis is my bro,” he says. “But I feel bad because I’m lonely. But I don’t feel bored because you came to see me. So I feel good that I’m not bored. And I feel nervous because of the sleepwalking.” He thinks about whether he feels anything else. “And I feel tired,” he says.

Dr Fortis is smiling and writing on her paper. “I see,” she says once she finishes writing. “That’s very helpful, thank you.” She looks at her paper. Then she looks at him. “Cor is your dad?” she says.

“Yes,” he says. “He’s my dad. He gave me confirmation.”

Dr Fortis’ smile widens. “I’m very glad to hear it,” she says. “And Noctis is your bro?”

“Yes,” he says. “A bro is a person you love like a brother, but who isn’t your brother. And I love Noctis but his dad is the king and my dad is Cor, so he’s not my brother. So he’s my bro.”

Dr Fortis looks very happy. She looks happier than he remembers seeing her before. “You’ve learned a lot of things since I last saw you, it seems.”

He thinks about when he last saw Dr Fortis. It wasn’t a long time ago. But he’s learned about dads and moms and brothers and sisters and bros, and he’s learned about love, and what his assignment is, and that he’s not a soldier, and that humans sometimes like to touch each other’s waste evacuation organs, but it’s not permitted to talk about it. So he’s learned a lot.

“Yes,” he says.

“Who taught you about love?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Arcis said it and I didn’t know what it meant, so I looked it up in Royal Lucian Dictionary,” he says. “Then I thought about if I loved anyone and it was clear that I love Cor and Noctis.” He remembers what Noctis said. “But I love Noctis as a bro,” he says. He’s not sure how many different ways there are to love someone, but it’s clear that he loves Cor and Noctis in different ways, and Noctis said the way he loved him was as a bro, so that’s useful.

Dr Fortis covers her mouth with her hand. She holds it there for a long moment, but looking at the rest of her face, he thinks she’s smiling. Then she takes her hand away. She is smiling, but the smile keeps getting wider and then quickly getting smaller again.

“Prompto,” Dr Fortis says, “I am – I want to say how delighted I am by your progress. I am very proud of you.”

He sits up a little straighter. He doesn’t know why she’s proud of him, but it makes him feel good. He feels warm in his chest, like he did when Arcis said he was awesome.

“You’ve come so far in such a short space of time,” Dr Fortis says. “I’m so happy to see you learning so many things by yourself.”

Oh. She’s proud of him because he learned about love by himself. And maybe because he learned about Cor being his dad. That’s good. He wants to learn more things so that she can be proud of him again. It makes him feel good.

Her smile fades a little. “I also need to apologise,” she says. “Yesterday, on the phone, I started discussing a difficult subject with you even though I knew I didn’t have time for a proper discussion. I know that it caused you some distress, and I shouldn’t have broached the subject until we had more time.”

He frowns. “What subject?” he says.

“The question of your status with regard to the military,” Dr Fortis says.

Oh. Yes, he’d forgotten that Dr Fortis was the one who told him he wasn’t in the military. “Yes,” he says. “Cor explained it.”

Dr Fortis’ eyebrows rise briefly, but then they come back down again. “What did Cor say?” she asks.

“That most people aren’t in the military, and that the military exists so that people who aren’t in the military can play King’s Knight and go to the park,” he says. “It’s called having a life. Cor said that was my assignment.”

Dr Fortis starts smiling again. “Well,” she says, “it seems you’re not the only one making progress. And did Cor manage to talk to you about touching?”

“Yes,” he says. It feels like a long time ago but it was only two days before.

Dr Fortis nods. “What did he tell you about it?”

He tries to remember all the things Cor said. “He said – that sometimes humans like to touch each others’ waste evacuation organs and that it was intimate touching. But then Gladio told me that humans don’t like talking about it, so I shouldn’t ask anyone about it.” He looks at her. “Am I permitted to ask you about it?” Gladio said not to, but Dr Fortis says that she wants him to ask questions, so he’s not sure which is correct.

“Of course,” Dr Fortis says. “You can ask me about anything.”

He nods. It’s what he thought. It’s good, he doesn’t have to worry about asking the wrong thing. “Cor said sometimes people like to put their penis inside another person’s vagina,” he says. “I don’t understand why it would be a desirable thing to do.”

“Hm,” Dr Fortis says. “Well, first of all, it’s important to recognise that human sexuality – the desire for intimate touching – is very complicated, and even people who have spent their whole lives studying it don’t fully understand it. So you shouldn’t worry too much if there are a lot of things you don’t understand. Even if you had had a normal upbringing, you would still have a lot of questions.”

“Oh,” he says. He’s not sure if it makes him feel good or bad to think that even humans don’t understand intimate touching. He feels – frustrated that everything to do with humans is so complicated. And that they don’t write enough instructions, even when they need them, too.

“Now, when two people are attracted to each other, there are certain changes that occur in their body chemistry,” Dr Fortis says. “Those changes mean that they want to touch each other intimately. They mean that intimate touching makes them feel good. It gives them pleasure and it makes them feel close to each other. But if people aren’t attracted to each other, then the chemical changes don’t happen and so intimate touching would often be perceived as unpleasant. So you see, it’s a complicated situation.”

He stares at her. “Body chemistry?” he says.

Dr Fortis nods. “The chemical reactions occurring in your body can have a big effect on the emotions you feel,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. “Emotions are chemistry?” He doesn’t know much about chemistry, but he knows that it’s scientific and therefore can be understood with reference to the appropriate instructions. So if emotions are chemistry, maybe they’re not as difficult to understand as he thought.

“Not quite,” Dr Fortis says. “But emotions are affected by chemistry. For example, how do you feel when Cor hugs you?”

“I feel good,” he says. He doesn’t even need to think about it.

“And why do you feel good?” Dr Fortis asks.

“I—” he starts. Then he stops. Cor hugging him makes him feel warm, but other things feel warm, too, like wrapping himself in blankets. But it’s not the same warm. So it can’t just be the transfer of heat that makes him feel good.

“Do you always feel good when someone touches you?” Dr Fortis asks. “For example, did you feel good when the man you met when you were lost touched you?”

“No,” he says. He feels suddenly like the chunk of cheeseburger is stuck in his chest again.

“Why not?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Because—” He swallows around the feeling in his chest. He thinks about people touching him, about the good and bad touches he wrote down for his assignment. He tries to see a pattern. Then he sees it. “Because – I didn’t feel affection for him. It feels good when someone I feel affection for touches me, but not when someone I don’t feel affection for touches me.” He looks at Dr Fortis. “Is it correct?”

Dr Fortis smiles. “Exactly correct,” she says. “Well done.”

He feels warmth in his chest again, melting away the feeling of something stuck there. Good. He performed adequately.

“So you see, this is why the question of touching and of emotions is so complicated,” Dr Fortis says. “Because the way we feel about different people and the way we feel at different times has an important effect on how we react to people touching us. The idea of wanting to have sex with someone might seem very strange to you now, but that might change if you were in particular circumstances with a particular person or persons you were attracted to.”

“Oh,” he says. Humans are very strange. But – he’s strange, too. He thinks about the one with the green jacket touching him, and he thinks about Cor touching him, and he thinks – he’s strange in the same way that humans are. It isn’t logical that a response to the same kind of touch could differ depending on who is doing it. The one with the green jacket never hurt him, but he felt – bad. He felt bad, and he didn’t know why. And now he knows. It’s because he’s strange in the same way humans are strange.

“I think we will need to return to this subject at a later date,” Dr Fortis says. “But for now – how do you feel about the things you’ve learned in the last few days? Do you feel worried or frightened about anything?”

He considers. He’s learned a lot of things and he still has a lot of questions. But he doesn’t feel worried or frightened. He just knows that he needs to learn more things. But he can learn things. He can find things out in books, or Ignis or Cor or Dr Fortis will explain them. So he’s not worried or frightened.

“No,” he says.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Dr Fortis says. “Now, I would like to talk to you about the sleepwalking. Do you mind if we invite your father back inside?”

He chest swells suddenly. Father means dad. His dad. “No,” he says.

“Good.” Dr Fortis stands up and goes to the door. “I suspect he’s just out here,” she says, opening it. “Oh, hello, Marshal. Would you like to come back in?”

Cor comes back in and sits down. He keeps moving in his chair, like he can’t sit still. “OK, Doc,” he says. “Clarus says there’s a plan?”

“That’s right,” Dr Fortis says. “Prompto, the Shield and I have been discussing the various options for safely and successfully inducing sleepwalking. We believe that the approach that’s most likely to succeed is to have all conditions be as similar as possible to the last time you sleepwalked. That means taking you back to the house you were in then.”

His heart jumps in his chest. He sits up straight. “The house by the park?” he asks.

Cor frowns. “He’ll be able to get out if you put him back in that room,” he says.

“That’s the point, Marshal,” Dr Fortis says. “The Shield wants to see where he goes. Testing him here would defeat the purpose, as he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.”

Cor’s frown deepens. “What if we lose him?” he asks.

He feels the thrumming in his belly mix with something colder. He doesn’t want to get lost again. Even if it means he can’t go back to the house by the park.

“I can assure you, the Shield plans for a great deal of security to ensure that doesn’t happen,” Dr Fortis says. “One might almost call it excessive.”

Cor still looks angry. Or – unhappy. “I’m gonna call him,” he says, getting up and pulling out his phone. “Clarus, yeah. Listen, I need the details of the security arrangements for--” Then Cor leaves the room and he doesn’t hear anything else.

Dr Fortis turns back to him. “Prompto. How do you feel about all this?”

He swallows. He wants to go back to the house by the park, even if it’s for a test. But he’s scared of getting lost again. And – he’s scared of people seeing him malfunction. Of Cor seeing it. Even though Cor already knows, if Cor sees it--

If Cor sees it, he won’t be angry. Cor’s seen him malfunction before. And Cor already knows about the sleepwalking. So Cor won’t be angry. And Cor will make sure he doesn’t get lost. So it’s safe. So he’s safe.

“I feel – scared,” he says. “But I want to go back to the house by the park.”

Dr Fortis nods. Then the door opens and Cor comes in. He paces back and forth behind the couch for a few moments. Then he sits down next to him and puts his arm around him.

“OK,” he says. “If Prompto says it’s all right, then we can do it.” He turns to him. “I’m going to make sure nothing happens to you, OK?”

He nods. “Yes,” he says. “I want to do it.”

Cor pulls him closer. “Clarus says tonight,” he says. “That too soon, kid?”

He shakes his head. It’s soon, but – but now that he knows what’s going to happen, he wants it to happen soon so that then it’s over.

Cor nods, then turns to look at Dr Fortis.

“OK,” he says. “Tonight.”

~

And then: they go back to the house by the park.

It’s strange, to leave the blue room. Cor’s with him, and Arcis, one on each side, and there are other silent ones, some he recognises and some he doesn’t. They walk down the corridor and go down in the elevator. Then they walk some more. Then they reach the huge doors and the steps and – he’s outside.

He’s outside. It’s late, and the light is growing dim, but even so it feels – bright and fresh and strange. The air tastes sharp and dusty and the sky overhead feels enormous, like it’s pressing down on him.

Outside.

Cor puts an arm round him. “You OK, kid?” he says.

“Yes,” he whispers. It reminds him of the first time he went outside, the first time he came to the towers with the purple light. Everything was different then. Everything’s changed so much.

There are three cars at the bottom of the steps. Cor leads him towards the middle one. Arcis gets in with them. The other silent ones get into the other cars. And they drive.

They drive. He stares out of the window, looking at all the people, the cars, the buildings, the lights. The sky. It’s almost like seeing it all for the first time again. They pass a park, and he stares at the trees, at the grass, everything passing by too quickly. His skin itches and he imagines what it would be like to go into the park, to touch the trees. But the park’s behind them, and they keep driving.

The buildings get smaller. He remembers the same thing from last time. So they’re getting closer to the house by the park. They’ll be there soon. He sits up, straining his eyes for his first glimpse of it. He wishes his vision wasn’t malfunctioning.

Then he sees: a street with a number of large vehicles parked on it, and silent ones and others going in and out of a house. The house. The house by the park. It’s still there. It looks the same, except for all the people going in and out. He remembers the last time he came here, when Noctis and Gladio and Ignis were waiting outside to help them transfer all the objects from Cor’s apartment into the house. But Noctis and Ignis and Gladio aren’t there now. Just a lot of people he doesn’t know.

Cor stops the car. They get out. Arcis puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, kid,” he says quietly. “I’m not gonna make the same mistake twice.”

Cor stands behind him. He doesn’t say anything. But he’s there, behind him.

They go up the steps. The other people stop to let them pass. One of them is the taller engineer. Another one is the one in the white coat. The one with the brown hair is there, and the daytime silent one, and a lot of others. Inside, the one from the phone is in the room with the couch, looking at a phone that a silent one is showing him.

“Cor,” the one from the phone says, looking up. Then he looks at him. “Prompto.”

“We all set?” Cor asks. He looks around. “Think you got enough Crownsguard?”

The one from the phone raises an eyebrow. “I seem to recall you were the one insisting on the highest possible security earlier,” he says.

Cor rubs the back of his head. “Yeah, good point,” he says. “It just – looks different when they’re all in your house.”

Cor’s house. It’s Cor’s house. And it does look different. It looks – full of people. All the people keep looking at him. Some just glance at him, but some stare. It doesn’t feel airy and light like it did before.

“OK, upstairs,” Cor says. He leads him up the stairs and to the room that he slept in before. There’s only one person in this room, holding a screwdriver.

“You about done?” Cor asks the person.

“Yes, sir,” the one with the screwdriver says. “You want me to tell you where they are?”

Cor glances at him. “Better not,” he says. “I don’t know what the Doc wants.”

“Understood,” the one with the screwdriver says. Then he leaves. Then it’s just him and Cor.

Outside the window, it’s dark. He can’t see the park. But he can see that there’s just darkness, no lights of other buildings. So he knows the park is still there. He can imagine it.

Inside, all the furniture is the same as it was before: the bed and the cupboard and the shelf for books and the little table and the image on the wall. But everything’s much messier than it was before. The mattress is half-off the bed and the sheets are trailing. The cupboard doors are open and the clothes are hanging half-off their hangers. The books are haphazard on the shelf, even though he remembers ordering them by first letter when he put them there. Only a few of them are there – the rest are in the blue room.

Cor looks around. “Uh – I kinda made a mess of this place after you disappeared,” he says. “Looking for clues.” He bends down to shove the mattress back onto the bed. “I’ll fix it.”

He stands for a moment, watching Cor fix it. Then he starts fixing it, too. He puts the clothes back on the hangers and reorganises the books. He closes the cupboard doors. Cor fixes the sheets. And then – everything looks better. It looks like it did before. Except for all the things that are in the blue room.

A silent one passes by the door. Then Dr Fortis appears in the doorway. “Prompto,” she says, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

He swallows. He feels scared. He thought he would feel good, coming back to the house by the park. But even though he and Cor have fixed the room, he doesn’t feel good. He feels scared.

“I feel scared,” he says.

Cor puts an arm round him. Dr Fortis comes into the room.

“That’s understandable,” she says. “But you understand that we will make sure nothing happens to you?”

He looks at her, then at Cor. He feels Cor’s arm, warm around him. He sees Arcis standing outside the door. Arcis smiles at him.

“Yes,” he says. “I understand.”

Dr Fortis nods. “Now, I don’t want to do anything too different from your normal sleep routine,” she says. “If it doesn’t work this time, we may have to try some different methods, but for now, I’ve asked the Crownsguard to make you some tea that will help you sleep, and we’ll see what happens from there. Cor will be in his room, and Arcis will be outside the door, just like last time.

He swallows. “What if I go out the window?” he says.

“There will be people watching you at all times,” Dr Fortis says. “I don’t want to tell you how or where they’ll be, in case it prevents your subconscious mind from behaving as it normally would. But if you go out the window, we will make sure you don’t get lost.”

His throat is burning. Dr Fortis smiles at him.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed?” she says.

So he does. He changes into the sleeping clothes that Cor brought with him from the blue room. He brushes his teeth. Arcis gives him a mug full of something that smells like flowers.

“The Doc says this’ll help,” he says. Then he squeezes his arm. “It’ll be OK, kid. You’ll see.”

He swallows and nods. He goes back into his room. He sits on the bed. He drinks some of the drink.

Cor comes in. He sits next to him. Neither of them says anything for a long time. Then Cor squeezes his arm.

“Whatever happens, nothing’s going to change between you and me, OK?” he says. “I love you. Remember that.”

He nods. He tries to remember. He tries to think about something other than waking up in the place with the tall walls and the razor wire.

“OK, lie down,” Cor says.

He lies down. Cor arranges the cover over him. Then he leans down and puts his mouth on his forehead.

“Sleep well,” Cor says.

Then he leaves, turning the light off and closing the door as he goes. It’s dark and quiet. He doesn’t know how many people are still in the house apart from Arcis and Cor. It’s very quiet. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep. He feels nervous. But there’s a gentle warmth spreading through him. He’s been tired all day and now, suddenly, he’s – sleepy. He’s sleepy.

He falls asleep.

Notes:

In my headcanon, Star Wars exists in some form in the FFXV universe and Noct is exactly the kind of dork who would go round quoting it to someone who is absolutely guaranteed not to get the reference. ♥

Chapter 55

Notes:

Weeell, I think I should just give up on apologising for the delay in writing with this one! Don't want to get overly repetitive ;) Thank you so much to everyone who read and commented/kudosed over the last few months -- your feedback really means a lot to me and I always love hearing from you guys ♥

Here is also a thing you should look at: FishMcSpine (aka Ruby Redux) made a Pinterest board of images that relate to PWS. I really enjoyed looking through them, and some of them really are a perfect fit for the story! So I recommend it as an experience :D

Chapter Text

He wakes up.

At first, he doesn’t remember where he is. He looks up at the ceiling, expecting it to be blue and white. But it’s just white, and it doesn’t have any of the three-dimensional patterns that the ceiling in the blue room has. And the light is different. He thinks for a moment that he’s moved while he’s been asleep, and there’s a rush of fear in his stomach.

Then he remembers: he’s in the house by the park. He looks at the window. The curtains are closed, but they’re moving slightly, as if the window is open. And it’s not the window of the blue room. It’s the window with the park outside. The park is on the other side of the curtains. And--

He hasn’t moved. He was supposed to move in his sleep so that Cor and Dr Fortis can understand the malfunction better. But he didn’t move. He’s still here, in the house by the park. He feels – relieved, even though he knows he was supposed to move. He feels relieved.

There’s a knock at the door, and then Cor comes in. He looks tired.

“Morning, kiddo,” he says. “Sleep OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He wonders if Cor will be angry that he didn’t move. No. Cor won’t be angry.

Cor nods. He gets up and opens the curtains. The window is open. It wasn’t open when he went to sleep. The air comes in from outside. It feels cool and clean.

“Shower and breakfast,” Cor says. “Then the Doc wants to talk to you.”

He showers. It’s the first time he’s showered in the house by the park. If he hadn’t got lost, he would have been showering here every day, instead of in the bathroom attached to the blue room. The thought makes his throat burn. He closes his eyes and rubs his face until the feeling goes away. Then he turns off the shower and goes to get dressed.

There are still people in the house. Cor, of course, and Arcis, but also a few other silent ones, Dr Fortis, and the one from the phone. Dr Fortis and the one from the phone are having a conversation in one of the other upstairs rooms, but Cor and Arcis sit with him at breakfast. Then the one from the phone comes downstairs. He nods at Cor, then at him. Then he leaves.

“That’s your cue,” Cor says.

He looks at Cor. Cor sighs.

“Sorry,” he says. “Doc’s waiting for you upstairs. Go on.”

“Oh,” he says. He goes upstairs and finds the room where Dr Fortis is sitting. She looks tired, too, but she smiles at him.

“Good morning, Prompto,” she says. “Won’t you sit down?”

He sits down. This room is smaller than the one he slept in, but it also has a view of the park. It has three chairs and a table, and on the table is some electronic equipment and a screen.

“Has Cor told you anything about what happened last night?” Dr Fortis asks.

“No,” he says. Cor didn’t say much during breakfast. Maybe because he was tired. “I didn’t move – sleepwalk, even though I was supposed to.”

“Ah,” Dr Fortis says. “That’s not quite true. I have video of exactly what happened. Would you like to see it?”

“Oh,” he says. He looks at the screen. He doesn’t want to watch himself malfunction. But he didn’t move anywhere last night, so-- “Yes.”

Dr Fortis nods and presses a button on the remote control. The screen lights up. It shows a view of the room where he slept. The camera is in night-vision mode. He can clearly see himself in the bed, on his side, asleep.

He waits. The image doesn’t change. He starts to feel nervous. He’s not sure what Dr Fortis wants him to see in the image. He just sees himself, sleeping. He feels relieved and nervous at the same time. It makes him feel nauseated.

And then the image of him moves. He rolls onto his back and lies still for a moment, then opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. It’s still dark, so it’s not morning yet. It’s not an image of when he did that this morning. He feels a jolt in his stomach. It’s him, staring at the ceiling. But he doesn’t remember doing it. He wants, suddenly, to grab the remote control from Dr Fortis and turn off the screen. But he can’t do that, so he forces his hands to remain still.

The him on the screen sits up, then climbs out of bed. He stands still for a long moment, then he looks around the room. He goes to the bookshelf and stares at it. Then he turns to the little table by the bed. He puts on the glasses. He looks at the bookshelf again. Then he turns and goes to the closet. He opens it and stares. Then he closes it. Then he opens it again. He takes out an item. It’s hard to see what it is in the night-vision, but then he pulls it on over his sleeping shirt. It’s a shirt. It’s the shirt with the fish that Noctis gave to him. He swallows. It’s strange. It’s him – it looks like him. He’s wearing his clothes, wearing the shirt Noctis gave to him. But he doesn’t remember doing those things.

The him on the screen pulls another item out of the closet. It’s a pair of pants, green with yellow zig-zags. The him on the screen tries to put the pants on over his sleeping pants. It seems difficult. The green pants aren’t very loose and the sleeping pants keep getting bunched up. Eventually, the him on the screen seems to give up and puts the green pants back in the closet.

The him on the screen closes the closet door and turns away from it. He crosses the room to where the chocobo bag sits on the floor near the door. He picks up the chocobo bag and opens it. Then he turns to the window and opens the curtains. Then he stops. He stops still and looks at the window. He stands like that, very still, for what feels like a long time. Then, movements suddenly jerky, he leans forward and opens the window. Then he stands still for a long time.

He watches the screen, feeling his heart beating. It feels like his heart is blocking his throat. He didn’t have any dirt on him this morning. No blood. No evidence that he’d moved in the night. But the him on the screen has opened the window. He went out the window when he got lost. The him on the screen wants to go out the window. But he doesn’t want that. It’s him on the screen, but he doesn’t want to go out the window, he wants to stay in the house by the park and never get lost again. So – is it him on the screen? Who is it on the screen?

The him on the screen stares at the window. He stares and stares. Then he picks up the chocobo bag and leans forward, putting his hands on the frame of the open window. He climbs up onto the windowsill and leans out of the open window like he’s about to climb out. He stays like that, half in and half out, for what feels like a long time. Then, movements slow, he backs up and climbs back down into the room.

He frowns at the him on the screen. What’s he doing? If he wants to leave and get lost, why doesn’t he leave? He doesn’t want him to, but – why doesn’t he?

The him on the screen stands still, staring at the window. He stands still for a long time. Then he leans forward again and puts his hands on the frame of the open part of the window. Then he lets go and stands up straight.

Then he puts down the chocobo bag and closes the curtains. He stands still for a while, then takes off the fish shirt and puts it back in the closet. He takes off the glasses and puts them on the little table by the bed. He sits on the edge of the bed. Then he gets under the covers. Then he closes his eyes and turns on his side.

Then nothing else happens.

Dr Fortis shifts slightly in her seat. “We can keep watching if you want, but the rest of it is just you sleeping,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. His voice comes out cracked. He feels – scared. He feels so scared.

“Do you want to keep watching?” Dr Fortis asks.

He shakes his head. Dr Fortis turns the screen off. She puts down the remote control. Then she turns her chair to face him.

“Are you all right?” she asks.

He swallows. “I feel scared,” he says.

Dr Fortis nods. “May I hug you?” she asks.

“Yes,” he whispers. He’s permitted to receive hugs from people he knows. And he wants Cor to hug him. But Cor isn’t here, so Dr Fortis will hug him instead.

Dr Fortis stands up and leans down. She puts her arms around him. She smells different from Cor. It’s a pleasant smell. The angle is suboptimal, so he stands up to simplify the procedure. He puts his arms around Dr Fortis. It’s a good hug. He’s still scared, but he feels a little better.

Dr Fortis lets go of him and sits down, so he sits down, too. Dr Fortis looks at him. He looks back. She’s seen him malfunction now. But she already knows he malfunctions. So he doesn’t need to be scared of being corrected. But he needs to be scared of what he might do while he’s malfunctioning. He might get lost again.

“Do you remember any of that?” Dr Fortis asks.

He shakes his head.

Dr Fortis nods. “None of it was particularly unusual for a sleepwalking episode,” she says. “Is there anything that struck you in particular?”

“He didn’t go out of the window,” he says.

A slight crease appears between Dr Fortis’ eyebrows. “He, who?”

“The MT unit.” He gestures at the screen.

Dr Fortis glances at the screen, then looks at him. “That’s you, Prompto,” she says.

“Yes,” he says.

Dr Fortis waits a moment, then writes something down. “When you watched it, did you think it was someone else?”

“No,” he says. “I know it’s me. But I – don’t remember it, so it doesn’t feel like me. It feels like it was a different MT unit.”

“It looks like you,” Dr Fortis says.

“All MT units look like me,” he says.

Dr Fortis stops writing and stares at him. “Do they?” she says after a moment.

“Yes,” he says. “All MT units are identical.” It’s not entirely true: for example, level fours are different from level twos. But when level fours were level twos, they were identical to the level twos that exist now. “All MT units within the same level are identical,” he says.

“I see,” Dr Fortis says. She stares at him for a moment, then she writes something down. “Genetically identical, or identical in some other way?” she asks.

“Genetically identical, and identical in all other ways,” he says. “All MT units are manufactured from the same genetic material. And all MT units are trained in the same way. So all MT units are identical in every way. Within the same level.”

“Hm,” Dr Fortis says. “That’s very interesting. I didn’t know that. But tell me – do you think you’re identical to all the other MT units back in the training facility?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Even though you’ve had very different experiences since you came here?” Dr Fortis asks. “You don’t think those experiences might have had an effect on you?”

Yes. The experiences have had an effect on him. The level twos at the facility don’t know about the sun, or about how water rises up from the ground and then falls down from the sky and makes lakes and rivers. They don’t know how to play Altissian pick-up or how to chop an onion or how to make stones jump on water. They don’t know how to hug. And they’re not malfunctioning, like he is.

And – there were differences, even then. He’s thought about it before, when Dr Fortis asked him if all MT units functioned in the same way. He’s poor at close combat, but skilled in ranged weapons. Other level twos in the same squadron had different things they were better at. So they must have been different even then. But they’re not supposed to be different. They’re supposed to be identical. He’s different now because he’s become less perfect. But he knows things now that he didn’t know before, and that’s good. It’s better than not knowing those things, even though he’s less perfect now. But – he’s malfunctioning. He’s moving without being aware of it. That can’t be anything except a malfunction.

“I’m malfunctioning,” he says.

“Possibly,” Dr Fortis says. “Or perhaps you’re just functioning differently.”

“I’m not supposed to function differently,” he says.

Dr Fortis nods. “If I told you that you have permission to function differently, would that make any difference?” she says.

“I – yes,” he says. But-- “No. I don’t – you’re not a soldier.”

“No,” Dr Fortis says.

If Dr Fortis isn’t a soldier, then is she still qualified to give him orders? She’s a human and he’s an MT unit. But – he doesn’t know how she fits in, if she’s not a soldier.

“Prompto,” Dr Fortis says, leaning forward a little. “I give you permission to function differently.”

He swallows. Even though she’s not a soldier, he feels better that she gave him permission. It doesn’t make sense. But lots of things don’t make sense. Maybe it’s all right that it makes him feel better, even if it’s illogical.

Dr Fortis looks at him for a few moments. Then she nods. “Well, what were we talking about?” she says. “Ah. You were saying that you thought it was strange that you didn’t go out of the window.”

“Yes,” he says. “That’s what happened last time. I went out of the window and then I got lost.”

Dr Fortis nods again. “That was the thing that I noticed the most, as well. Do you have any ideas as to why you didn’t climb out of the window?”

He shakes his head. If he was awake, he wouldn’t have wanted to climb out of the window. He would have wanted to stay in bed and sleep, and wake up in the morning and see the park. But that’s not what the him on the screen did. The him on the screen seemed like he wanted to climb out of the window. But then he didn’t. He did last time, but not this time. Why not?

“Perhaps it’s something you could think about more,” Dr Fortis says. “As it is, we’ve got some data now, but it’s quite difficult to interpret. Any help you can give us would be very much appreciated.”

He straightens up in the chair. He wants to be helpful. “Yes,” he says. “I’ll – I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you,” Dr Fortis says, smiling.

There’s a knock on the door. It opens, and Cor puts his head round it.

“Sorry, Doc,” he says. “Are you gonna be much longer? We gotta get Prompto back to the Citadel before Clarus has an aneurysm.”

Dr Fortis nods. “Prompto, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

He shakes his head. Dr Fortis stands up.

“Well,” she says, “I have to admit that I’m not likely to be very productive in my thinking until I get some sleep. I’m not as young as I used to be.”

He wonders how young Dr Fortis used to be. But then she says goodbye to him and Cor and leaves. Cor comes in and sits in the chair where Dr Fortis was sitting.

“She showed you the video, huh?” Cor says.

“Yes,” he says. He swallows. “Have you seen the video?”

“Watched it while it was happening, kid,” Cor says. He sighs and runs a hand over his face. “Wish I knew what was going on with you.”

“Yes,” he says. “I wish I knew what was going on with me, as well.”

Cor laughs. He sounds a little surprised. “Come on, then, kiddo,” he says. “Let’s get you back home.”

He stares at Cor. Cor frowns. “What?” Cor says.

“I – thought this was home,” he says. Maybe it’s not home any more. Maybe the blue room is home now. But he doesn’t want the blue room to be home.

Cor’s mouth turns down a little at the corners. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, this is home. Just – we’re temporarily living somewhere else.”

He’s not sure it’s temporary. He doesn’t think Cor is the one who decides if it’s temporary or not. He thinks if it was Cor’s decision, they would already have come back to the house by the park.

“I’m sorry,” Cor says. “I know you want to stay here.” He chews his lip. “I’ll – talk to Clarus. Maybe there’s something we can do.”

“Thank you,” he says. Then the phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out. It’s a message from Noctis.

Noct: Hey

Noct: Ignis says you did a sleepwalking experiment last night????

Noct: Nobody tells me anything

Prompto: Hello. ❤️ Yes. Dr Fortis wanted to see if I would sleepwalk. 🙁

Noct: ...and did you??

Prompto: Yes. But I only sleepwalked to the window and then I sleepwalked back to the bed. 🙁

Noct: Huh

Noct: Did your therapist know why you did that?

Prompto: Because I’m malfunctioning.

Noct: She said you were malfunctioning???

Noct: Did you tell Cor she said that?

Noct: She shouldn’t say stuff like that

Prompto: No. She didn’t say I was malfunctioning. She said I was functioning differently. But I am malfunctioning. 🙁

Noct: Dude

Noct: I think your trained therapist probably knows better than you do about what’s going on with your sleepwalking

Noct: Anyway, people don’t malfunction

He stares at Noctis’ message. He knows that humans don’t malfunction. But MT units do malfunction. Some time ago, Dr Fortis told him that he was a person, and that people can malfunction. And he thought – maybe it made sense. But now Noctis says that people don’t malfunction, so maybe – he’s not a person, after all.

“You OK, kid?” Cor says.

He looks up at Cor. “Am I a person?” he asks.

Cor stares at him. Then he sighs. “We’ve talked about this,” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “But--” Then he stops, quickly swallowing what he was going to say.

Cor frowns. “But?” he says.

He shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says. “I – we’ve talked about this. Yes. Thank you.”

Cor’s frown deepens. “OK, I know when I’m getting the run-around,” he says. “Hey. You know you can say anything to me, right? You know that. I want you to.”

He chews his lip. Cor sits and doesn’t say anything. Eventually, though, he sighs.

“I’m not gonna order you to say whatever it was if you don’t want to, kid,” he says. “You got a right to your secrets. Just – I really wish you felt like you could be honest with me.”

He draws in a breath. “I--” he says. Then, “Last time we talked about it, the – theresponsewasn’tsatisfactory.” He looks quickly away and bites his tongue hard.

There’s a silence. He doesn’t dare look at Cor. He doesn’t know why he said what he said. He should have kept silent. He shouldn’t even think things like that. How can what Cor does be less than satisfactory? Cor is his commanding – is his – Cor is his--

Cor laughs. He’s so surprised that he looks at Cor without meaning to. Cor looks – happy. Cor is smiling. He looks happy.

“Got a mean right hook on you there, kiddo,” Cor says. “Think I’m gonna need to grow a thicker skin.”

He doesn’t understand anything that Cor said. But Cor’s smiling. Cor reaches out and rubs his head. It means affection. He thinks that’s what it means. It’s not what he expected.

“OK,” Cor says. He still looks happy. “So – not satisfactory, huh? Yeah, I see that. I’m barely scraping a C on my good days with this stuff.” He rubs the back of his head. “So – you still don’t believe you’re a person?”

“I—” he says. He feels unsteady and a little sick. “I thought you would be angry,” he says. It’s not what he meant to say. He keeps saying things he didn’t mean to say.

“Huh?” Cor says. “Why?”

“Because I – because of what I said.” He doesn’t want to say it again. Maybe Cor didn’t hear it properly the first time, and that’s why he’s not angry.

“That I suck at explaining things?” Cor says.

He swallows. He didn’t say Cor sucks. Even the thought of saying Cor sucks makes him feel sick. He feels – he feels really sick.

“I didn’t--” he whispers, but Cor reaches forward and puts his hands on his shoulders.

“Hey. Listen,” Cor says. “Listen, kid. You want to know how I feel when you tell me I suck?”

He stares at Cor. He didn’t say that Cor sucks. He didn’t say that.

“I feel great,” Cor says. “I feel – I feel happy that you trust me enough to be honest. And that – you’re not so scared any more. That’s – I feel good about that. It makes me really happy.”

He swallows. Then he realises he’s going to be sick. He stumbles to his feet and out of the room, past Arcis in the corridor and into the bathroom just in time. He kneels in front of the latrine and vomits into it. His eyes water. The vomit is black and smells acrid. It stings his eyes and nose. There’s a ringing chime in his ears, and for a few moments he can’t hear anything else. But someone puts a hand on his back. It’s a big hand. It feels warm. Even though he’s only focussed on what’s directly in front of him, he knows it’s Cor.

Then, abruptly, the chime disappears and he hears Cor speaking.

“—this I am less happy about,” Cor says.

He sits back. He doesn’t think he’s going to vomit again. He wipes his hand across his mouth.

“Done?” Cor says.

He nods. Cor reaches up and flushes the latrine. “At least you got more of that crap out of your system,” he says. Then he puts a hand on his forehead. “You sick?”

“No,” he says. He doesn’t feel sick any more. “I feel adequate.”

Cor sits and looks at him for a moment. Then he sighs and nods.

“Then let’s go,” he says.

~

In the car, he realises that Noctis sent more messages while he was talking to Cor.

Noct: So are they gonna let you out of jail now that you just sleepwalked to the window and back?

Noct: Prompto?

Noct: Promptoooooooo?

Noct: …

Noct: Guess you’re doing something else, huh?

Noct: Tell Clarus I said he has to let you out now

Noct: No, tell him my dad said he has to let you out now

Noct: Shit, you’re actually going to tell him that, aren’t you?

Noct: Don’t tell him that, it was a joke

Noct: Next time I see you I’ll explain what a joke is

Noct: I’m gonna tell him myself, anyway

He reads the messages. Then he reads them again. It’s not clear exactly what they mean. But it’s clear that Noct rescinded his order, which means he doesn’t have to do anything. That’s straightforward. He wonders if there’s a symbol that indicates lack of comprehension. He thinks that would be useful.

Prompto: Yes. 😐 ❤️

Noct: Finally

Noct: So is Clarus letting you out or what?

Prompto: No. I have to go back to the blue room. 🙁

Noct: Seriously? That sucks

Prompto: Yes. It sucks. 🙁

Noct: OK, but why though?

Noct: You didn’t do anything so

Noct: What’s this issue?

He looks over at Cor. “Why do I have to go back to the blue room?” he asks. “What’s the issue?”

Cor glances at him, eyebrows raised. “You texting Noct?” he asks.

“No,” he says. “I was texting him but now I’m talking to you.”

Cor laughs quietly. Then he sighs. “Kiddo, I know you don’t want to go back. Believe me, I don’t, either. But until we figure out why you’re sleepwalking, you gotta stay there.” Cor reaches out and rubs his shoulder. “I guess we learned some stuff, but we still don’t know why you left that time or where you were going. Or why you didn’t leave this time.”

Why didn’t he leave this time? He doesn’t know. He didn’t want to leave. But he didn’t want to leave the time before, either. He doesn’t want to sleepwalk at all. So it’s not useful to ask himself what he wants. It’s not relevant. And he doesn’t know what the him who sleepwalks wants. Why did the him who sleepwalks go to the window and open it but not climb out? Why did he get dressed and then get undressed again? Why did he leave last time and not this time? What was different?

In his mind, he sees an image: the him that sleepwalks standing by the window, staring at the windowsill. Carrying the chocobo bag and staring at the windowsill. Last time he left, he took the chocobo bag with the plants in it. The plants were on the windowsill. But now the plants are in the blue room, on the windowsill there. The him that sleepwalks picked up the chocobo bag and stood and stared at the windowsill, but didn’t leave. Because--

“The plants,” he says. He says it louder than he intended, and Cor starts slightly.

“Huh?” Cor says. “The plants are fine, kid. You watered them yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he says. “But – last time – the plants were in the room. I took them with me last time. But this time they weren’t in the room.”

Cor frowns. He’s watching the road, but he’s frowning. “You think the reason you didn’t leave last night is because the plants weren’t there?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “It’s something that was different. I took them with me last time.” He took the plants and they got damaged. And he almost lost them. He’s glad that didn’t happen again.

“Makes sense,” Arcis says. He’s in the back seat, and he leans forward. “Everything was supposed to be exactly the same, right?”

“Huh,” Cor says. Then he tosses his phone back to Arcis. “Call Fortis,” he says. “Put it on speaker.”

A moment later, a ringing phone chime sounds. Then the chime stops and Dr Fortis speaks.

“Marshal? Everything all right?”

“Yeah,” Cor says. “You’re on speaker. Kid’s here, and Arcis. Kid thinks maybe we should have had the plants in the room.”

There’s a pause. “Yes, of course,” Dr Fortis says. “That’s very good thinking, Prompto. That might explain why you kept looking at the windowsill.”

Yes. The him on the screen looked at the windowsill and then didn’t leave.

“So – we’ll do this again, with the plants,” Cor says. “I’ll OK it with Clarus and the King.”

He doesn’t want to do it again. If they do it again, maybe this time he’ll go out of the window. But he doesn’t want to go back to the blue room, either. He wants to do whatever is necessary so that he doesn’t have to spend more time in the blue room.

“OK, kid?” Cor asks, glancing at him.

He swallows. “Yes,” he says.

~

The rest of the day is strange. They go back to the blue room. Cor makes phone calls. Then the one with the white coat comes and tells Cor to get some sleep. Cor argues, but the one with the white coat wins the argument. Cor sleeps. When he wakes up, he makes more phone calls. And then they get back in the car and drive back to the house by the park. Everything’s like it was the day before. It reminds him of the facility: the exact same thing happening every day until it’s difficult to tell how much time has passed. The thought of it makes him feel sick again. He doesn’t want anything here to be like it was in the facility. His hands shake, and he focuses on making them still. It’s difficult.

Dr Fortis is at the house by the park. She smiles at him. She looks tired. “Ah, the plants,” she says. He’s carrying the plants in a tray. “They look very healthy,” she says.

He looks at the plants. They’ve grown some new leaves since he came back from being lost, and the plant with yellow flowers has grown new flowers to replace the ones that fell off. It’s no longer obvious that they were damaged while they were in the chocobo bag. If the him that sleepwalks puts them in the chocobo bag tonight, they’ll get damaged again. The thought makes him pause in his steps. Maybe they shouldn’t try to make him sleepwalk again, if it means the plants will be damaged.

“Kid?” Cor says, putting a hand on his back.

He takes a deep breath. Last time, the plants were damaged, but it wasn’t irreparable. The plants repaired themselves. The plants are – special. They can repair themselves, and even grow new appendages. They can make tissues out of sunlight. He doesn’t want to damage the plants, but the plants are much harder to damage permanently than he’d realised. And Cor and Dr Fortis both want him to sleepwalk so they can learn more about the malfunction. And maybe if they learn more he’ll be permitted to see Noctis again. And – he doesn’t want to go back to the blue room.

“They should be on the windowsill,” he says to Dr Fortis. “So that it’s the same as before.”

Dr Fortis smiles. “Of course,” she says.

He puts the plants on the windowsill.

~

Later, he lies awake and stares at the ceiling. It’s not like the night before, when he fell asleep straight away. He feels tired, but even though he closes his eyes and keeps them closed for half an hour, he doesn’t fall asleep. He knows Cor and Dr Fortis are watching him on the cameras. He hopes Cor isn’t angry with him for not falling asleep. He knows Cor isn’t angry with him. Cor doesn’t get angry about things like that. But he wants to fall asleep anyway, so that he can sleepwalk and then Cor and Dr Fortis can obtain more data, and maybe he won’t have to go back to the blue room. But he’s scared.

After he’s been awake for almost two hours, the door opens and Cor comes in. He’s holding a steaming mug and he sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Can’t sleep, huh, kiddo?” he says. “I can relate.”

He sits up. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’ve been trying to sleep.”

“I know.” Cor holds out the mug. “Try this. Doc says it’s a little stronger than the one you had before. Hopefully not strong enough to stop you sleepwalking, though.”

He takes the mug and drinks some. It tastes like flowers smell. Cor puts a hand on his head. It feels solid.

“I’m scared,” he says.

Cor nods. “Me, too,” he says.

He looks at Cor. He didn’t know Cor was scared. “What are you scared about?” he asks.

Cor takes his hand off his head and puts his arm around him instead. “That you’ll get hurt. That you’ll get lost. That there’s – something some asshole put in your head that’s causing damage.”

Cor’s scared of the same things he’s scared of. He presses his side into Cor’s side. It makes him feel less scared. They sit quietly.

“I’m gonna make sure nothing happens to you,” Cor says after a while.

“Yes,” he says. He already knows that. “Thank you.”

“Don’t need to thank me, kid,” Cor says. “It’s what dads are for.”

He nods. He remembers Cor saying that, when he explained what dad meant. That one of the functions of a dad is to look after their subordinate. He’s glad he has a dad. It doesn’t stop him from being scared, but it helps to know that Cor’s assignment is to look after him. No-one’s ever been assigned to look after him before, not before he met Cor. He wonders why no-one had a dad in the facility. Maybe if more people in the facility had dads, things would be better there, like they are here. He feels a lot better here than he did there, even though he’s malfunctioning and he’s supposed to stay in the blue room.

“Thinking deep thoughts?” Cor asks.

“No,” he says. He’s not sure how thoughts can be deep. Thought are insubstantial and have no physical dimensions as far as he’s aware.

Cor laughs quietly and rubs his head. “OK. Ready to give sleep another try?”

“Yes,” he says. Cor takes the mug from him and waits till he lies down, then tucks the covers in around him. He leans forward and puts his mouth on his forehead.

“So sleep,” Cor murmurs. Then he leaves.

He stares at the ceiling for a while. His thoughts feel like they’re heavy, moving through his mind. Maybe thoughts do have physical dimensions. He’s not sure how that could be possible, but… maybe there’s… something he hasn’t…

He falls asleep.

~

When he wakes up, he’s sitting on a flat surface that’s covered in grass. The surface extends in all directions as far as he can see. There are no trees or buildings or other structures. There’s just grass. The sky overhead is white and filled with light. He’s soaking wet, his hair and clothes plastered to his body. In front of him, far away, is an MT unit, facing away from him and walking. Even though the MT unit is walking and he’s sitting still, the MT units doesn’t seem to be moving further away from him.

Much closer in front of him, sitting on the ground only two metres away, is a man. The man is wearing strange clothes and has purple hair. When he looks at the man, he thinks he knows who he is. But when he tries to remember, there’s no information. It’s like a blank space in his mind.

“It’s not what I expected,” the one with the purple hair says. “Not at all. But you know, I think it might be quite enjoyable.”

He stares at the one with the purple hair. He doesn’t understand what the man said. He doesn’t have enough contextual data. And – he knows who the man is. But the information isn’t there. His head hurts when he tries to retrieve the information. And it’s not there.

“Of course, I could just let him kill you,” the one with the purple hair says. “But where would be the fun in that?”

“I don’t understand,” he says. His voice sounds like it’s coming from outside his body.

“Well, that’s hardly surprising, is it, my boy?” the one with the purple hair says. “You’re not very intelligent, after all.”

“Hey,” says another voice. “Hey, kid.”

It’s Cor. He looks around, but he doesn’t see Cor. He doesn’t see anything except the one with the purple hair and the MT unit in the distance and the grass, stretching on forever.

“Ah!” the one with the purple hair says. “Your master’s calling you.” He smiles and then snaps his fingers. The MT unit in the distance is suddenly much closer, standing over him.

“Time to go,” the one with the purple hair says. The MT unit kneels down behind him and hooks an arm round his throat, squeezing until his eyes start to blur.

“Not yet,” the MT unit whispers in his ear. “You’re ruining everything.”

Kid,” says Cor’s voice. A ringing chime is starting to sound in his ears, but he listens, he listens hard to Cor’s voice. Cor will make sure nothing bad happens to him. It’s Cor’s assignment.

And then.

He opens his eyes. It’s dark. He’s not sitting on a grassy surface. He’s standing in the dark, in water. The water’s moving past him, up to his thighs. It’s raining. He’s wet. Cor is standing in front of him, hands on his shoulders. Cor’s wet, too. Cor is staring at him. He looks angry. But he recognises the way Cor looks angry. He thinks it means Cor’s worried.

“Kid?” Cor says. “You with me?”

He looks around. It’s dark, but there are lights nearby: lights that illuminate the street, and flashlights. Lots of flashlights. He sees that he’s standing towards the edge of a ribbon of dark water. Cor’s standing in the water, too. It’s – a river. He saw a river before, not exactly the same, but with enough similarities that he thinks it belongs to the same category. He’s standing in a river. And he’s with Cor.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m with you.”

“Shit,” Cor whispers. “Thank fuck.” His head drops for a moment. Then he takes a deep breath and lifts his head again.

“OK,” he says. “Let’s get you somewhere warm.” He puts an arm round him and starts leading him out of the river, towards the part of the edge where there are a lot of flashlights. When they get closer, he sees that the flashlights are attached to the clothes of silent ones. One of them is Arcis. Arcis comes forward, to the edge of the water, holding out a blanket.

“Out you come, then,” he says. His voice sounds a little shaky. “Gave us a scare, there.”

Gave us a scare. Its what the one with the brown hair said last time he got lost. But he didn’t get lost this time. He doesn’t know where he is, but he’s with Cor, so he isn’t lost.

“I sleepwalked,” he says to Cor. He feels cold and hot and – strange. “Did you obtain sufficient data?”

“We can talk about that later,” Cor says, taking the blanket from Arcis and wrapping it round his shoulders. “Let’s just--” He stops, tightening his arm around his shoulders. “Let’s not – do this again,” he says.

Oh. They’re not going to do this again. So they must have obtained sufficient data. That’s good. Maybe now he won’t have to go back to the blue room.

Dr Fortis appears from among the flashlights. She’s smiling at him, but it’s not the same kind of smile as usual.

“Prompto,” she says. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel – wet,” he says. He’s very wet.

Dr Fortis laughs. Arcis laughs, too. So does Cor. But they don’t sound as happy as they usually do when they laugh.

Then there’s a vehicle and they all get inside. Inside it’s warm and dry. He’s carrying the chocobo bag, he realises. It’s wet, too. It’s dirty. The yellow is streaked with black and brown.

“OK,” Cor says. “Let’s go home.”

He wonders which home Cor means.

Chapter 56

Notes:

Art! Art! There is art!

High_and_down made a gorgeous kind of cover image with some really nice composition and rewards for people who pay attention to detail. This is beautiful.

And Kitsunebaba made a two-panel comic of the scene where Prompto wakes up in the river with Cor shaking him and a hundred people with flashlights staring at him from the bank. It's really atmospheric and again well composed. Please give the artists some love!

Also, of course, a huge thank you to everyone who's been reading and leaving comments and kudos. I know it's hard to follow a fic with such an irregular update schedule, but hearing from you guys means a lot to me, so kudos to you ♥

Chapter Text

They go back to the building with the purple light. He doesn’t know until he gets out of the vehicle, because there are no windows in the back and he can’t see where they’re going. But he knows anyway. He knows from the way that everyone looks angry that they won’t go back to the house by the park. He knows that they didn’t obtain sufficient data, or that the data was bad data. He doesn’t know if they’re all angry because he did something wrong. But when any of them looks at him, they smile. The smiles don’t make him feel good like they usually do, because there’s something strange about them. But they smile anyway. They only look angry when they’re not looking at him. So he thinks they’re not angry with him. Maybe they’re not angry at all. His skill in interpreting people’s expressions is still poor. Maybe he’s got it wrong. But he feels bad anyway. His stomach hurts. He knows they didn’t get good data. But Cor said they won’t do the experiment again. So if they don’t have data and they won’t do the experiment again, that means he’ll have to stay in the blue room. His stomach hurts.

The vehicle stops and Cor opens the door. He sees the purple light. Even though he knew they were coming back here, his stomach hurts more. He wonders if he would have felt this way if he’d never been to the house by the park. But if he’d never been to the house by the park, he’d never have got lost and so he wouldn’t have been in the blue room anyway. He thinks about when he woke up in Cor’s apartment and his hair was wet and his foot was bleeding. Would he have got lost? He doesn’t know.

“OK, kiddo, let’s go,” Cor says, and he realises he should get out of the vehicle. He gets out and Cor puts a hand on his back. They walk up the stairs. It’s getting light now. Eos is rotating and so the part of Eos they’re standing on is coming into view of the sun. He tries to think about it so that he’ll feel amazed and excited instead of heavy and bad. But his mind keeps slipping off the thoughts and falling back into thinking about the blue room, and how everyone looks angry.

Lots of people walk with them up the stairs and into the building. Dr Fortis and Arcis and the one from the phone, and the one with the brown hair and other silent ones. He likes Dr Fortis and Arcis, but he wishes the others weren’t following them. He wishes – everything was different.

They go up in the elevator. There isn’t room for everyone, so some of the silent ones wait for another elevator. He listens to the music, but he doesn’t feel good. The elevator doors open. Cor leads him to the blue room. Everyone else follows them.

When they get inside, Cor turns in a circle, looking at the room. Then he sighs and runs a hand over his head. He looks at him, up and down.

“OK,” he says. “Shower. Get out of those wet clothes.”

“Yes,” he says. He puts down the chocobo bag, gets some dry clothes, and goes to the shower. It’s good. He knows what his orders are.

He showers. The water is hot and it feels good on his cold, damp skin. There’s mud on his lower body, where he was submerged in the river. He wonders why there’s mud in the river. At the facility, water was always clean and clear. But the river wasn’t like that. He thinks he could probably work out why, if he could concentrate on something other than feeling bad.

He gets out of the shower. He hears Cor’s voice, raised outside the door, but he can’t hear the words. Without thinking about it, he sharpens his hearing all the way up. Then he remembers that he isn’t supposed to listen to conversations if people don’t know he’s listening, so he lowers it down again. Then there’s a pain in his head. It’s sharp and sudden. It feels like something is shifting in his brain. His vision blurs and his stomach lurches. He grabs hold of the railing that holds towels. His head swims and he lowers himself to the ground. He thinks he might fall otherwise. He leans over the latrine, eyes closed. His head is pulsing with pain. He wants to vomit, but his stomach just keeps rolling and nothing comes up.

And then – something clicks in his head, and the pain is gone. There’s still an echo of it, and he sits on the floor with his eyes closed for a few more seconds before he thinks it’s probably safe to open them. His stomach feels a little strange, but overall he feels almost adequate. Good. It’s good. He feels better.

He stands up and sees himself in the mirror. His face looks pale, and there’s black blood on his upper lip, and some on his chin as well. He wipes the blood away with a tissue. He still looks pale, but he looks better now the blood’s gone. He checks the floor and the latrine, but there’s no blood there. So he just needs to put on the dry clothes and then he can go back outside.

He puts on the dry clothes and goes outside.

There are lots of people in the blue room. There are too many to fit on the couches and soft chairs, so some of the silent ones are standing and two are sitting on the floor. Cor’s standing, too. He’s glaring at the one from the phone, who’s sitting in one of the soft chairs. The one from the phone is saying something, but stops when he comes in. Cor turns and sees him.

“Kid,” he says. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He feels much better now than he did after the shower. He waits to see what will happen next. Cor is still wearing his wet pants, so he waits for him to go and shower as well. But Cor doesn’t go and shower. He just looks at him, frowning.

“Perhaps we should reconvene in another location,” the one from the phone says.

Dr Fortis clears her throat. “I understand why you might want to, but in my personal opinion, Prompto’s input would be very helpful here. And I think it would be appropriate to include him, given the subject.”

“I agree,” says someone else, and Prompto sees it’s Ignis. He’s sitting on one of the couches between Dr Fortis and an empty space where Cor must have been sitting. Ignis wasn’t there when they were by the river. He wonders when Ignis arrived.

The one from the phone looks at Cor. Cor shrugs. “If the doc thinks he should stay, he should stay,” he says.

The one from the phone looks at him, then. He looks at him for a long moment. He doesn’t say anything. Then he nods.

“For now,” he says. “And we should all be aware of the security context.”

He doesn’t understand exactly what the one from the phone means, but the daytime silent one get up from where he’s sitting next to Arcis and gestures.

“I can stand,” he says.

He sits down in the empty space. The daytime silent one wasn’t there before, either. There are more people here now than there were when he went into the shower. Arcis puts an arm round him. The one from the phone looks at Arcis, and then Arcis takes his arm away. It feels colder when Arcis’ arm isn’t around him.

Dr Fortis smiles at him. “Prompto, do you remember anything about what happened last night?”

“Yes,” he says. “I went to sleep. Then I woke up. When I woke up I was in the river.”

Dr Fortis nods. “Anything else?”

“I had a dream,” he says. He tries to remember the dream, but it’s blurred. He thinks there was another MT unit. But he remembers someone talking to him, and the voice wasn’t the same as an MT unit’s voice. His head starts to hurt again.

The one from the phone sighs. “He doesn’t remember anything useful,” he says.

“What was the dream about?” Dr Fortis asks.

The one from the phone raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t speak. He tries to remember what the dream was about.

“There was another MT unit,” he says. He tries to remember, but his head just hurts more. “The – I think – the other MT unit was choking me.” There was something else. He knows there was something else, but he can’t remember what it was.

Dr Fortis nods. “Have you dreamed about that before?”

“No,” he says. “Not choking.”

“But you’ve dreamed about another MT unit trying to kill you before?” Dr Fortis says.

He frowns. He thinks he’s told Dr Fortis about dreaming about other MT units before. “Yes,” he says. “I always dream about that. Almost always.”

Cor’s face twists. “Seriously, kid?” he says. He looks at Dr Fortis. “He’s dreaming about his programming trying to kill him?”

“It’s possible,” Dr Fortis says. “It’s something we might explore in a less – public place. But I think Ignis had something to say before he was interrupted by the King’s Shield?”

Everyone looks at Ignis. Ignis sits up. His back is very straight.

“Well, I didn’t know that Prompto was having dreams of that kind,” he says. “That does potentially detract from my argument. But--” He pushes his glasses up his nose. “If you’ll forgive me, Marshal, I know it was very upsetting, but I think it’s possible Prompto was not trying to kill himself.”

He frowns. He doesn’t remember trying to kill himself.

“You weren’t there, Ignis,” Cor says. “Another few steps and he would’ve been swept away.” His voice cracks a little on the last word.

“I don’t doubt it,” Ignis says. “But if you’ll indulge me.” He gestures at the table. There’s a map there with a line drawn on it. The line is irregular, with small angles and kinks in it, but the direction is clear. He doesn’t know what place is represented by the map.

“Why would he have walked so far to find a river to drown himself in, when he could have easily done away with himself at any busy road along the way, not to mention any number of high places?” Ignis asks.

The one from the phone frowns at the map. “Perhaps he’s been programmed with only one method of suicide,” he says. Cor flinches slightly at the word suicide, but he doesn’t know what it means so he doesn’t know why. The one from the phone doesn’t seem to notice.

“I suppose it’s possible, though it seems like a very odd way of going about things,” Ignis says. “But how would he even know there was a river there?”

“Sir,” the one with the brown hair says. “He was waiting for cars to pass before crossing roads. I think there might be something there.”

“I do have another reason for thinking so,” Ignis says before the one from the phone can speak. “I’ve done some investigation of where Prompto went last time he was lost, based on what he remembers about what he saw and the location of the police station where he was found.” He points to a spot on the map that’s some way to the east of the jagged line. “I think this is the park where he met the – individual with the green jacket. And Prompto says he walked directly east for a long time before he found the park. So--” Ignis draws his finger back westwards until he intersects the jagged line. “This area meets the description of the place Prompto was in when he woke up that time,” he says.

The one from the phone stares at the map. Everyone in the room stares at the map.

“He went exactly the same way both times?” Arcis asks.

Ignis nods. “I think so,” he says.

The one from the phone frowns, then looks up at him. “What’s here?” he asks, leaning forward and jabbing a finger at the map, at the end of the jagged line. “What were you looking for?”

He swallows. “I don’t know,” he whispers. He doesn’t remember looking for anything. He doesn’t know where any of the places on the map are.

“Clarus,” Cor says, sounding angry, and at the same time, Arcis says, “Sir,” though he says it quietly and he doesn’t sound angry.

The one from the phone sighs. It’s an angry sigh. “Can we – hypnotise him?” he says, turning to Dr Fortis.

Dr Fortis purses her lips, then takes a deep breath. She starts to speak, but he’s distracted by a vibration against his hip, where it’s pressed against Arcis’ hip.

Arcis frowns and looks down, then fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a phone. “Oh yeah,” he whispers under the sound of Dr Fortis and the one from the phone talking. “I grabbed this so you wouldn’t lose it.” He holds the phone out to him.

He takes it. It’s the phone Cor gave to him. There’s a message. It’s from Noctis.

Noctis: Hey, is Ignis with you? I just woke up and there’s a note here saying he’s with you

Prompto: Yes. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: Huh, that’s weird. Why?

Prompto: Because I sleepwalked into a river last night and now it’s important to find out whether I was trying to kill myself or not. 🙁 ❤️

Prompto: Cor thinks I was but Ignis thinks I wasn’t. 😐 ❤️

He waits, but there are no more messages, so he puts the phone down and starts listening to the conversation again.

“...this part of the wall,” the one from the phone is saying, gesturing at the map, but then Cor’s phone starts to ring.

“Fuck, who--” Cor says, pulling out his phone. Then his eyebrows rise. He puts the phone to his ear. “Your Highness, what’s--” He stops talking. He can hear the sound of Noctis’s voice, small and tinny, though he can’t hear what he’s saying. Cor looks angry. “Yeah, that did happen, but--” He’s cut off by Noctis. Noctis must be talking very loudly for him to be able to hear his voice even though his hearing’s on its lowest setting and he’s across the room. Cor’s mouth gets tighter and tighter. He stands up and starts walking towards the door. “Listen, you know I would never – I understand that, but – No, I’ll come find y--” He opens the door and stops. Noctis is standing on the other side, holding his phone to his ear. He’s wearing sleeping clothes and looks furious.

Cor steps back. “Highness,” he says. Everyone in the room starts getting up. The silent ones all stand to attention. He’s not sure whether he should get up as well.

Noctis stalks into the room. Gladio comes in behind him. He’s wearing normal clothes.

“Gladiolus,” the one from the phone says.

“OK, but listen, unless you want me to literally chain him to the couch there’s not a whole lot I can do,” Gladio says.

He doesn’t understand what Gladio means, but Noctis is coming over to him. He starts to get up, but Noctis grabs his shoulders and pushes him back down. He stares into his face.

“You’re OK, though,” he says. He looks round at Ignis. “He’s OK, right?”

“He seems a little shaken, but otherwise unharmed,” Ignis says. “I wasn’t witness to the incident in question, but I think he, at least, won’t suffer any lasting effects.”

Noctis nods. He punches him in the arm, then straightens up and looks around. “You can all sit, anyway,” he says. “What’s going on here? Prompto needs the entire Crownsguard to guard him now?”

People start sitting down again.

“We were discussing what the causes of the incident were,” Ignis says.

“Highness, I think you should leave this conversation to us,” the one from the phone says. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Like hell,” Noctis says. “I’m staying. I’m sitting here.” He gestures at the seat next to him.

Arcis starts getting up.

“No,” the one from the phone says.

Arcis pauses, half-out of his seat, looking from the one from the phone to Noctis. He looks worried.

“Come on, Clarus,” Cor says. “We know what happens when he sleepwalks, and it doesn’t involve Noctis at all. He’s going in the opposite direction from the Citadel.”

The one from the phone presses his lips together for a moment, then sighs. “Please, Highness,” he says. “If you must stay, at least sit somewhere a little further away.”

“You seriously still think--” Noctis starts.

“Noct, please,” Ignis murmurs.

Noctis stops talking abruptly. He clenches his jaw for a moment then lets out an explosive sigh.

“Fine,” he says.

The one with the brown hair immediately gets to her feet. “You can sit here, Highness,” she says.

“Thanks, Monica,” Noctis says. He sits down, and Arcis sits down, too. Gladio stands behind the couch.

The one from the phone sits in silence for a moment. Then he rubs his forehead. He looks very tired. “As I was saying, we should send a contingent of glaives to this part of the wall.” He points to a point on the map.

“I wonder if we shouldn’t explain the situation to Prince Noctis in more detail?” Dr Fortis says. “He is a close friend of Prompto’s and he may have some useful insight.” She smiles at Noctis. “Hello, Your Highness. My name is Clementia Fortis. I’m pleased to finally make your acquaintance.”

“Oh, huh, you’re Dr Fortis?” Noctis says. “Yeah. I mean, yes, pleased to meet you. And yes, also, I definitely have insight so what’s going on, anyway?”

“Prompto followed this route when he was sleepwalking last night, and we suspect he followed it the previous time he sleepwalked as well,” Ignis says, tracing the jagged line on the map with his finger. “When he came to the river, he walked straight into it. As you know, it’s too deep and too fast for a person to ford, and so those at the scene thought he was trying to – harm himself. However, an alternative possibility is that he was simply trying to continue his trajectory and, in his unaware state, either didn’t realise the river was there or didn’t realise how dangerous it was. We’re currently trying to establish what his possible target might have been.”

Noctis leans forward and frowns at the map. The one from the phone points at the same spot as before.

“If he’d kept going, he would have reached this point on the wall,” he says. “I’m not aware of any weaknesses in the area, but if he’s expecting to escape or meet his handler there, there must be some reason.”

“Or he was aiming for something in the city,” Cor says.

“We don’t know for sure the programming is even aware he’s in Insomnia,” Ignis says. “He could just be programmed to go in a specific direction regardless of his actual location.”

“What would be the purpose of that?” the one from the phone asks.

“Perhaps—” Ignis starts.

“Suspirium,” Noctis says.

Ignis stops and turns to frown at him.

“Excuse me, Highness?” the one from the phone says.

Noctis points at the map. There’s a blue area there, between the end of the jagged line and the spot that the one from the phone keeps pointing to. “Lake Suspirium,” he says. He looks at Cor. “That’s where you took him that one time, right?”

Cor frowns, then looks at the map. He raises his eyebrows. “Yeah,” he says.

Noctis nods. “You’re all talking about programming like you know that’s what’s happening, but maybe he just wanted to go back to the lake. He liked it there. Right?”

Noctis looks at him. He remembers the lake, with the golden path across it from the sun. The bird that he gave food to. He hasn’t seen another bird so close up since then. “Yes,” he says.

“Right.” Noctis looks at Dr Fortis. “That could be it, right? It doesn’t have to be programming?”

Dr Fortis looks thoughtful. “It’s certainly possible that it’s a psychological phenomenon rather than something that’s been programmed,” she says. “I know very little about the technological side of all this, and so I’m certainly not qualified to pronounce on that, but as for the rest – while I can’t go into specifics for reasons of confidentiality, I think it would be over-hasty to rule it out.”

“So can you find out?” Cor asks.

“I’m afraid that my line of work is not quite that simple, Marshal,” Dr Fortis says. “But Prompto and I can work on trying to understand as much as we can, if he’s willing.” She smiles at him.

“Yes,” he says. “I want to understand.” If he can understand why he keeps malfunctioning, maybe he can stop it happening. Maybe then he won’t have to stay in the blue room.

Arcis pats him on the shoulder. Dr Fortis’s smile widens. The one from the phone sighs.

“Then we’re no further forward than we were before,” he says. “We don’t know whether it’s programming or some kind of mental illness, we don’t know how to find out which one it is, and if it is programming we don’t know what the purpose is or how to remove it without damaging the boy.”

The boy is sitting right here,” Noctis says.

The one from the phone glances at him. “Yes, of course,” he says. “Prompto – I apologise.”

He stares at the one from the phone. “Oh,” he says. “Yes. I apologise, too.” He’s not sure why the one from the phone is apologising, but the one from the phone doesn’t speak to him often, and he’s very high-ranking, so he wants to make sure his answer is adequate.

The one from the phone looks surprised, then smiles slightly and shakes his head.

“If I may, sir, I think we’re significantly further than before,” Ignis says. “We have a number of lines of inquiry which may prove fruitful, and, perhaps more importantly, I think it’s clear that Prompto is not a danger to others, whatever may be the cause of his sleepwalking.”

Noctis sits up suddenly. “Right,” he says. “He just walked into a river, right? He didn’t come and try and murder me or anything. So now we can see each other again, right?” He looks at the one from the phone, then at Cor. “Right?” he says again.

Cor and the one from the phone look at each other. The one from the phone sighs again. He’s been sighing a lot. He seems very tired.

“The Marshal and I will discuss it with His Majesty,” he says.

Noctis opens his mouth, but then Ignis glances at him and he sags back into his chair, folding his arms in front of him.

“Fine,” he says.

There’s a silence. The one from the phone stares at the map. Cor looks down at his hands. Noctis is scowling at nothing. He waits to see what will happen next. But nothing happens. Then Dr Fortis sits up.

“Well, we’re all very tired,” she says. “Perhaps we can continue this conversation once we’ve had some sleep and some time to think.”

“Yeah, good call,” Cor says. “Clarus, you and me need to talk.”

“But you need to sleep as well,” he says. Everybody looks at him. Dr Fortis smiles, but everyone else looks surprised or angry. He swallows. But Cor needs to sleep. Cor’s been awake all night and – he doesn’t want Cor to get sick again.

Cor nods. “Yeah, kid,” he says. He looks back at the one from the phone. “So we’ll talk once I’ve had some shut-eye. You should probably get some, too, you look pretty rough.”

The one from the phone looks a little surprised, but he just nods.

“We’ll talk later, then,” he says.

“Well, in that case,” Ignis says, and turns to Noctis. “If you hurry, you can still be on time for school.”

“Huh?” Noctis says. “Come on, Specs, this is more important than school.”

“I agree,” Ignis says. “However, this is also now over.”

“Ugh.” Noctis stands up. He looks over at him. “But there’s not going to be any more sleepwalking experiments, right?”

“No,” Cor says. He sounds very firm. “We’re not doing that again.”

Noctis nods. “Good.” He leans over and punches him on the arm. “So I’m gonna see you soon, once my dad says I can. But I’ll text you, OK? So you don’t get bored.”

He nods. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

“Noctis. School,” Ignis says.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going,” Noctis says.

And he goes. They all go, filtering out of the room, until only Cor, Dr Fortis, Arcis, the one from the phone and the daytime silent one are left.

“Prompto, I wanted to ask you another question about your dreams before I go,” Dr Fortis says. “If you don’t want to answer in front of everyone, that’s perfectly all right, but I would like you to think about it. The other MT unit that you dream about – are you certain it’s another MT unit and not a representation of yourself?”

He frowns. “Yes,” he says.

“How do you know?” Dr Fortis says.

He doesn’t really understand the question. “Because – I’m myself,” he says. “How can there be another myself?”

Dr Fortis smiles a little. “Well, in dreams a lot of things are possible that can’t happen in real life,” she says. “Multiple selves is really quite tame on that scale.”

Cor’s frowning. “Why do you think it’s a representation of him rather than another MT?” he asks. He looks at him. “It doesn’t look like you, right?”

“Yes,” he says. “It looks like me. All MT units look the same.”

“Huh?” Cor says.

“Prompto has informed me that MT units are all clones of each other,” Dr Fortis says. “I’m sorry, I assumed you already knew that.”

“Huh?” Cor says again. Then he looks at him. “What?”

“All MT units are clones,” he says. He thinks Cor must be very tired if he can’t understand something so simple. “So all MT units are identical. Are supposed to be identical.”

Cor stares at him. He stares and stares. “So--” he says. His voice sounds hoarse. “So all the MTs – all the kids in the facility and all the – all the MTs that go out to fight – they’re all – you?”

“No,” he says. “All MTs are clones. They’re not all me. I’m me. And MTs that fight on the battlefield are level fives. They’re significantly more modified. But the level twos in the facility are identical to me.”

Cor puts a hand over his mouth. Then he lurches to his feet. “Fuck,” he says. “Clarus – what--?”

The one from the phone stands up, too. “We can’t do anything,” he says, very quietly. “I’m so sorry, my friend, but you know as well as I do that we can’t do anything about it.”

Cor shakes his head. “But they’re just kids,” he says.

The one from the phone puts a hand on his shoulder and draws him away out of the room, talking to him quietly. Dr Fortis looks worried. Arcis puts his arm round him again.

“Fucking Niffs,” he mutters.

“I wasn’t aware that the Marshal didn’t know,” Dr Fortis says.

“Not your fault, Doc,” Arcis says. “I guess he would have found out eventually anyway.”

There’s a crash from the corridor. Everyone looks at the door. No-one says anything. It’s quiet. No, not quiet: there’s the sound of Cor’s voice, muffled but clearly angry. He frowns at the door.

“Why is Cor angry about MT units being clones?” he asks Dr Fortis.

“Because he hates to think of someone just like you getting hurt, kiddo,” Arcis answers.

“The MT units in the facility aren’t getting hurt,” he says. “They’re MT units. MT units are objects, not people, so they can’t be hurt.”

“Whoa, kid--” Arcis says, but Dr Fortis breaks in.

“If I may?” she says. “Prompto. Do you think you’re an object or a person?”

“I—” He thinks about the conversation he had with Cor the day before. “I’m not sure if I’m a person but – I don’t think I’m an object.”

Dr Fortis smiles. “Well, I’m glad you don’t think that. But then, if the other level twos are identical to you, then how can they be objects if you’re not an object?”

He considers the question. “They’re still good at being MT units,” he says. “I think you can’t be good at being an MT unit and be a person. Learning to be a person makes you a bad MT unit.”

Dr Fortis nods. “Hm, I think there’s something to that,” she says, “although I wouldn’t phrase it quite that way, since it’s my opinion that you were always a person and so are all the other MT units.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t think that’s right, but Dr Fortis is usually right about things, so he isn’t sure.

“Let me put it another way,” Dr Fortis says. “Would you like to go back to the facility?”

“No,” he says. It’s an easy question.

“Why not?” Dr Fortis asks.

“Because – it’s much better here,” he says.

“Would you want to send someone else you know to the facility?” Dr Fortis asks. “Maybe Prince Noctis?”

He shakes his head. “No,” he says. He thinks about Noctis at the facility. It makes him feel – very bad, even though he knows it would be different for Noctis because he’s human. But even the humans at the facility are nothing like the humans here.

“How does the thought of Prince Noctis at the facility make you feel?” Dr Fortis asks.

“I feel – bad,” he says. He can’t describe it. It’s like being afraid, but – worse, somehow.

Dr Fortis nods. “That’s how Cor feels at the thought of all the other level twos who are at the facility,” she says. “He doesn’t want anyone to be at the facility, but especially not anyone who is very similar to you. He thinks that the way you were treated at the facility was cruel and inhumane, and that no-one should be treated that way, including MT units.”

“Oh,” he says. He’s surprised. He doesn’t know what cruel and inhumane means, but he’s surprised that Cor thinks that MT units should be treated differently at the facility. “They’re MT units,” he says. “The treatment is appropriate.”

“Cor doesn’t agree,” Dr Fortis says.

“Oh,” he says again. He frowns. “Do you think that, too?”

Dr Fortis isn’t smiling now. “Yes, I do,” she says. “I think that all the MT units in the facility are people and I think that what’s being done to them is wrong.”

“Me too, kid,” Arcis says.

“Yeah, likewise,” says the daytime silent one.

He looks at Dr Fortis. It’s hard to understand. But she’s usually right. And Arcis thinks the same thing. And the daytime silent one, although he doesn’t know if the daytime silent one is usually right or wrong. The daytime silent one doesn’t usually say anything.

Then the door slams open and Cor comes through, the one from the phone behind him. Cor looks angry. He strides up to the couch and reaches down, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him to his feet. Then he puts his arms around him and hugs him. He hugs him very tight – so tight that it’s a little painful. He puts his arms around Cor as well. It’s good. He likes hugs. He doesn’t like that Cor looked angry, but Cor’s hugging him, so he thinks Cor isn’t angry at him. And Cor doesn’t usually get angry at him, anyway, even when he performs inadequately. But he wishes Cor wasn’t angry at anyone.

Cor hugs him for a long time. He holds him very tight. He holds Cor back. He tries to squeeze tight as well. Finally, Cor lets him go. He puts his hands on his shoulders and looks into his face. Then he sighs.

“Shit, kid,” he says. “Sometimes this shit really sucks.”

“Yes,” he says. “Sometimes it sucks.”

Cor half-laughs, then puts his mouth on his forehead. “One day I’m taking those Niffs down,” he says.

“Hear, hear,” says the one from the phone.

“Well, I apologise for the unintended shock, Marshal,” Dr Fortis says, standing up. “I’ll leave you to it – but Prompto, I want you to think about what I asked you about your dreams.”

“Yes,” he says. “Goodbye.” He still doesn’t understand how there could be two hims, even in a dream, but he’ll make sure to think about it since that’s his assignment.

The one from the phone puts a hand on Cor’s shoulder. “We’ll talk later,” he says. “I’ll make an appointment with His Majesty.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Cor says. “Thanks, Clarus.”

Then the one from the phone and Dr Fortis leave. Arcis stands up, too.

“Guess I should, uh--” he says. “Uh – just – sir, can I hug the kid?”

Cor looks surprised. “Sure, if he doesn’t mind.”

Arcis looks at him. “You mind if I hug you?”

“No,” he says. “I like hugs.”

Arcis grins. “Me, too,” he says. Then he steps forward and hugs him. It feels warm and pleasant. He hugs Arcis back. He wonders if he loves Arcis. It’s possible. He feels affection for him. He doesn’t know how to measure when affection is strong enough to be love.

Arcis lets go and steps back. Cor glances at the daytime silent one.

“I’m good,” the daytime silent one says.

Cor nods. “See you tonight, Arcis,” he says.

Then Arcis leaves. The daytime silent one stands in the corner. He waits for Cor to go to sleep. But then he remembers the chocobo bag. The plants must be in the chocobo bag. He goes to where it’s sitting on the floor. It looks dirty and bedraggled. He swallows. He hopes the plants aren’t too damaged. He kneels down and takes a deep breath, then opens the bag.

The plants are inside. The plant with the yellow flowers is standing upright, but the other two are on their sides. He lifts them carefully out and puts them on the low table. The cactus looks undamaged, but some of the material from the pot has fallen out into the bag. Three of the leaves of the plant with the red leaves have broken in half, and two more have fallen off and are inside the bag. The plant with the yellow flowers hasn’t lost any leaves, but several of its flowers have fallen off. The material in the pots and inside the bag is soaked. It’s – bad. The plants were damaged.

“Got a few cuts and scrapes, huh?” Cor says, sitting on the floor next to him. “Let’s get that soil back where it belongs.”

Cor helps him to take the material from the pots out of the bag and put it back in the pots. Then he takes the damaged leaves off the plant with the red leaves. Then the plant looks better, even though it doesn’t have as many leaves.

“They’re wet,” he says.

“Plants like being wet,” Cor says. “Well, maybe not the cactus. But it’ll dry out.”

“Yes,” he says. He looks at Cor. Cor is still wet, too.

Cor glances down at himself. “Yeah, I’ll dry out, too,” he says. “We’ll all dry out.”

He’s not sure what Cor means. No-one is wet except Cor.

“Let’s put them back where they belong,” Cor says.

So they take the plants and put them on the shelf by the window. The sun is shining and he thinks the cactus will dry out soon. And the other plants will be happy, because they can photosynthesise and make new leaves and flowers to replace the ones they lost.

Cor goes to bed. But he sits up and looks at the plants, and the sun shining, and the blue sky. He thinks he should think about his dream so he can complete his assignment for Dr Fortis. But he doesn’t think about it. He just looks at the sky.

Chapter 57

Notes:

Thank youuuuuu for all the kind comments on the last chapter! I love hearing from you guys ♥ Also, something I keep forgetting to actually get Prompto to overhear but I know a number of you guys have raised it: the reason there's no location-tracking chip in the collar is because the collar is designed to block wireless transmissions so it wouldn't work. Don't ask me how Prompto can use a phone while he's wearing it, it's uhhhhh Lucian magic or something.

Chapter Text

It’s a quiet day. Cor sleeps for a few hours, then wakes up and goes to talk to the one from the phone and the supreme commander. Noctis texts him sometimes and they play King’s Knight when he has a break at school. Outside, the sun shines. He sits by the window and looks at the plants, and at the city. He feels bored. He thought after the sleepwalking experiment that things might change. But they haven’t changed. He’s in the blue room, like before. He’s bored and lonely, except when Noctis is texting him. And – he feels worse because of the experiment. Because he thought the experiment would change things. He was – maybe he was excited? No, he doesn’t think he was excited. He was scared. But now, even though he was scared and he’s glad it’s over, he feels worse than he did before the experiment. It’s strange. He writes it down so he can ask Dr Fortis about it.

He spends a little time on his assignment for Dr Fortis. He thinks about the other MT unit in the dream. In all the dreams. He doesn’t know if it’s the same MT unit in all the dreams. He doesn’t think it’s him. The MT unit in the dreams is still a good MT unit. It has orders to kill him – it must have orders to kill him, so it does. He’s not a good MT unit. He thinks about whether he could kill another MT unit if he had orders. Before, he could have done it. He would have done it. But now--

--yes, he could, if he had orders. He has to follow orders. But before, he wouldn’t have been concerned about it. He would have known that the MT unit needed to be terminated, that it must be defective. So killing it would be appropriate, although it would be more appropriate to have it properly decommissioned so that more could be learned about the defects. But now – but now. He would feel bad. If Cor ordered him to kill an MT unit, he would do it, but he would feel bad. He would wish that Cor hadn’t ordered him to do that. He’s not sure why. It’s strange.

He realises that he’s stopped thinking about what Dr Fortis told him to think about. He’s distracted and now he’s thinking about something irrelevant. But the MT unit in the dreams is a good MT unit, and he’s not a good MT unit any more, so he thinks the MT unit in the dreams isn’t him. So now he’s completed the assignment.

He sits and looks out of the window. After a while, he decides to look up the words that Dr Fortis used earlier. First he looks up cruel. The description says Intentionally causing or revelling in pain and suffering; merciless, heartless. Then he looks up inhumane. It says lacking pity or compassion for misery and suffering; cruel, unkind, not humane. Then he has to look up a number of other words from the descriptions that he doesn’t know. Then he considers. He doesn’t understand why Dr Fortis thinks the way MT units are treated at the facility is heartless. He doesn’t think it’s possible for a method of treatment to have a heart, but he thinks it must be a figure of speech, and that she means the humans who perform the treatment. But he thinks the humans had hearts, too. Humans can’t live without hearts, as far as he’s aware. He’s been trained to aim for humans’ hearts and heads, because the brain and the heart are the two organs that humans can’t live without. So he doesn’t understand how the treatment can be heartless, even as a figure of speech. But some of the other parts of the description make more sense. He agrees that the humans at the facility didn’t care about MT units being miserable or suffering. It doesn’t matter if MT units are miserable or if they suffer. They’re MT units. Humans shouldn’t care about them. He considers whether the humans at the facility intentionally caused MT units pain and suffering. Yes, they did. MT units need to be trained and modified and corrected, and all of those things cause pain and suffering. But the pain and suffering are unimportant. If humans couldn’t cause pain and suffering to MT units, MT units would never become effective soldiers. There would be no reason for MT units to exist.

He thinks about whether the humans enjoyed causing pain and suffering for MT units. He doesn’t know. He didn’t know very much about humans and their emotions before he came here. He still doesn’t know very much, but he knows a lot more now than he did then. He doesn’t remember noticing the humans at the facility enjoy anything. They always just seemed – angry and unhappy.

He collects together all the pieces of information and decides that Dr Fortis is correct. The treatment at the facility was cruel and inhumane, except maybe for being heartless and for the humans enjoying the suffering. But Dr Fortis said it was wrong, too, and he doesn’t agree with that. He thinks that Dr Fortis just doesn’t understand MT units very well. It makes sense: he’s the only MT unit Dr Fortis has met, and he’s a very bad MT unit. It used to make him feel bad to think he was a bad MT unit, but now – now he thinks it’s better to be a bad MT unit. Because he’s getting better at being a person, and he wants to be a person much more than he wants to be a good MT unit. And he knows that Cor and Dr Fortis want him to be a person, too, so they won’t be angry if he tries harder to be a person than to be a good MT unit.

Good. So now he understands what Dr Fortis says and he’s completed the assignment. He tries to think of something else to do, but everything he thinks of just seems – unappealing. So he goes to sit and stare out of the window.

~

In the middle of the afternoon, Cor comes back. It’s good. It’s been very quiet with only the daytime silent one. Cor smiles at him and rubs his head, then sits down and says, “So I’ve got some good news.”

He waits for the good news. But before Cor can say what it is, there’s a knock at the door, and then it opens before Cor can say come in. Noctis comes through. He’s wearing his school clothes with the string round his neck. Gladio and Ignis are with him.

“Sooooo guess whose dad said we can hang out again?” Noctis says. He’s grinning. Gladio and Ignis are smiling, too.

He thinks about it. Then he shakes his head. “I can’t guess,” he says. “I need more data.”

“Huh?” Noctis says. He throws himself down onto the couch. “But it’s great, right?”

He looks at Cor. Cor smiles. “The King said you can see Noctis again.”

“Oh,” he says. Then he feels – good. He feels very good. His chest swells. “Thank you,” he says.

“We’re all very pleased,” Ignis says, sitting down.

“Seriously. There’s been so much sulking you wouldn’t believe,” Gladio says.

Noctis sits up and leans forward. “So where’s your schedule, anyway?” he says. “You still have it, right?”

“Yes,” he says. He goes to the shelf and finds the folder where he keeps the schedule. It’s with the books that Ignis gave him for school. He hasn’t used them much since he came to the blue room. He brings the schedule back and spreads it out on the low table.

“Cool,” Noctis says. “So school’s back in, right?” He looks at Ignis, then at Cor.

“Since when do you care about Prompto’s school?” Gladio asks.

“Ah, I suspect it might have something to do with this,” Ignis says. He points to one of the sections that’s labelled Free time: Noctis Lucis Caelum.

“I mean, yeah, obviously, but come on,” Noctis says. “I’m stuck in school all day and Prompto’s really bored. So if it’s safe for him to talk to me, it’s gotta be safe to do school again, right?”

He looks at Cor. They all look at Cor. Cor nods.

“Damn right,” he says. “You want to go back to school, kid?”

“Yes,” he says. He says it quickly so that they won’t have time to change their minds. “Yes, please.”

“Great,” Cor says. “Ignis, Gladio, you still able to contribute?”

“I can rearrange my schedule,” Ignis says.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” says Gladio.

Then he thinks of something else. It makes his stomach feel like there’s bubbles in it. Excited. It makes him feel excited.

“Can we go back to the house by the park?” he asks. If he’s permitted to see Noctis again and to do school again, then maybe--

“Ah,” Cor says. “Yeah, no, sorry, kid. Not yet.”

The bubbles abruptly disappear. “Oh,” he says.

Cor’s smile is gone now. He looks – worried? Maybe? “Listen, we still need to keep you close to the Citadel, but – hey, how about we move somewhere else, but still in the Citadel? To a different apartment? I know you hate this place.”

He looks around the blue room. He doesn’t hate it. It’s just a room. How can he hate a room? Or–

“Yes,” he says. “I hate it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Cor says. He puts an arm around him. “So how about it? This place has a ton of guest suites.”

“You could move near me,” Noctis says.

Gladio clears his throat.

“What, we’re still not letting him know where my rooms are?” Noct says. “That’s dumb.”

“You want to lose playdate privileges on the same day you got them back?” Gladio asks.

Noct scowls. “Fine,” he says. “Then you could move close to Ignis.”

“I’d like that, if the Shield approves,” Ignis says.

“Will I be permitted to go to Ignis’ apartment?” he asks. He wants to leave the blue room, but the idea of another room that he isn’t permitted to leave make his stomach feel heavy.

“Yeah – shit, sorry, kid, I should have been clearer,” Cor says. “You’re allowed out, now, as long as you have at least two Crownsguard with you.”

He looks at the daytime silent one. He knows the daytime silent one is a Crownsguard, because Cor calls him that sometimes. But he’s only one Crownsguard.

“Ah, Gladio and I are also Crownsguard,” Ignis says.

He looks at Ignis. He doesn’t know how Ignis knew what he was thinking, but he’s glad, because now he knows. So he can go out as long as he has either Gladio or Ignis with him, along with the daytime silent one.

“I’m a Crownsguard too, kid,” Cor says. “In case you didn’t know.”

He looks at Cor. Then he looks at Noctis. “Are you a Crownsguard?” Maybe everyone is a Crownsguard here.

“Uh, no,” Noctis says.

“He’s a Crown,” Gladio says with a grin.

“Oh,” he says. He’s not sure what Gladio means, but Noctis answered his question. So now he knows that everyone is a Crownsguard except Noctis. Maybe Noctis will be permitted to be a Crownsguard once he’s completed school, like Arcis told him.

“So anyway,” Noctis says, “when are you moving? I can help.”

“You know helping involves getting out of bed and doing manual labour, right?” Gladio says.

“Hey, I helped Prompto move last time,” Noctis says. “I’ve got a lot of experience.”

“You carried one box into the house,” Gladio says.

“Only because Cor hired guys for all the heavy stuff!” Noctis says. “I’m gonna call Clarus and get him to assign you a different room.”

“Noct,” Ignis says.

Noctis glances up from his phone. “What?”

“Prompto hasn’t said he wants to move, yet,” Ignis says.

“Oh.” Noctis looks at him. “But you do, right? I mean--” He stops suddenly and takes a deep breath. “I mean – do you want to? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

He looks around again at the blue room. He – hates it. He hates it. And now he’s permitted to go somewhere else. And he’s permitted to visit Ignis. And he’s permitted to see Noctis. A bubble starts to expand in his chest, and it takes him a moment before he can speak past it.

“Yes,” he says. “I want to move.”

“Yeah, like I said,” Noctis says, looking over at Ignis. Then he puts the phone to his ear. “Clarus? Yeah, I’m with Prompto. Can we move him? No, I mean to another suite. Somewhere near Ignis. No, there’s nothing wrong with it, he just doesn’t like it. Yeah, I know, security and whatever, but he doesn’t like it, so. Oh, yeah, no, you don’t have to help or anything, I’ll do it, I know you’re busy and stuff. OK, sure, speak to you later, then.”

He takes the phone away from his ear. “He’s gonna pick out a place and call me back,” he says.

Gladio’s grinning very widely. “Dad does love picking out new apartments for people,” he says.

Noctis shrugs. “Well, I’d do it, but then he’d just say it wasn’t secure, so he pretty much has to,” he says. “Anyway, so I’m gonna go change and then we’re going out.”

“Out?” Cor says.

Noctis points at the schedule. “It’s Thursday,” he says. “My time. And I want to go out. Prompto wants to as well, right?”

He sits up. He hadn’t realised that when Noctis said we’re going out, he meant him as well. The bubble in his chest gets even bigger. Then it breaks into lots of small bubbles that make him feel strange and fizzy. “Yes,” he says. His voice sounds croaky and strange. Everybody looks at him. “Am I permitted to go out?”

Cor looks angry for a moment. Then he smiles.

“Yeah, kid,” he says. “We’ll all go out.”

~

They go out.

Outside, the sun is shining and the sky is blue and deep. He looks up at it and thinks about how it seems to go on forever. But he knows it doesn’t, because somewhere out there is space, which is black. The sky only looks blue because of the way the particles in the air scatter the light. But even though it’s an illusion, it still looks as though it goes on forever. It makes his stomach swoop. And it’s beautiful.

“Soooo are we going?” Noctis says, standing beside him on the steps of the building with the purple light.

“Sh, Noct,” Ignis murmurs. “Let him look. He hasn’t been outside for a long time.”

It’s not correct. He was outside last night, and the night before. And he was outside between getting out of the car and going into the house by the park. But it wasn’t like this. This is different. He hasn’t been outside like this in a long time. The sun feels warm on his face. It feels good.

When he stops looking at the sky, he sees Cor is looking at him. Cor looks – strange. He thinks he looks tired, but he knows Cor slept for several hours in the morning. And it’s not quite the same as tired. So he doesn’t know. When Cor sees him looking, his expression changes. He smiles.

“OK, kid?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. It’s OK. He’s outside. It’s OK.

Cor nods. “All set, Noct,” he says. “Where are we going?”

~

They go in a large vehicle because they can’t all fit in a normal car. First they stop in an unfamiliar place, with many buildings with large glass windows on the ground floors and colourful images and signs.

“Prompto needs to get a milkshake,” Noctis says. “He hasn’t had one for a hundred years.”

A year is three hundred and sixty-five days. He hasn’t been counting days, but he knows it hasn’t been 36,500 days since he had a milkshake. But he does want to have a milkshake, so he doesn’t tell Noctis, in case it makes Noctis think he doesn’t need one, after all. He follows Noctis and they go into a place that looks very like the place where he got a milkshake last time, except that it’s not the same building or in the same location. It’s strange that it looks so similar. It even smells the same.

“Two chocolate milkshakes,” Noctis says. “And – uh – Cor? You want something?”

He looks around the room they’re in. There are lots of people eating and drinking. Some of them are eating cheeseburgers. He swallows around a lump in his chest. He doesn’t like cheeseburgers. Then he sees a sign on the wall. There are lots of signs, but this one must be important because it includes the word Leonis. He goes to look at the sign. There’s a section at the top with large words in capitals, then a section underneath with smaller letters. Maybe it’s instructions. Sometimes instructions are formatted that way, too. He reads the large letters.

HACKER GENIUS LEONIS NIFF LOVE-CHILD?

He frowns. He knows all of the words – he doesn’t know what Niff means, but he’s heard it before – but he doesn’t understand how they fit together at all. He starts to read the lower section.

Reports have been circulating for months in the greasy underworld of the internet of an arcade genius who amassed a massive high-score in a shooter despite apparently being blind. Who cares about weird nerd stuff, right? Wrong! The Insomnian Investigator has exclusively discovered that the blind genius in question is Marshal Cor Leonis’ secret love-child – from Niflheim! A source says: “I was surprised when Marshal Leonis appeared on the doorstep with a teenage boy – I didn’t know he had a son, and my mom’s a big fan of his, so

“Hey, what are you looking at?” Noctis asks, appearing beside him with two cups. “Here, I--” he holds out the cup, looking at the sign. Then his eyes widen. “Fuck,” he says, and grabs his elbow. “OK, we’re leaving.”

“Noct?” Ignis says as they pass. “Something the matter?”

“Look at the tabloid stand,” Noctis says, not slowing his pace. “We’ll see you outside.”

They go outside. Once they get there, Noctis pulls him into a narrow space between the building with the milkshakes and the next building. Then he looks him up and down.

“Yeah, that’s no good,” he says. “You know, much as I love your fashion sense and everything.” Then he takes off the black jacket he’s wearing and holds it out. “Put this on.”

He puts it on. Noctis nods.

“Zip it up, and put the hood up,” he says.

He obeys the orders. Noctis looks him up and down again, then nods.

“Not much we can do about the pants, but it’ll do, I guess,” he says.

He looks at his pants. They’re green with abstract purple patterns. They’re pleasing. He’s not sure what Noctis wants to do about them.

Then Gladio appears in the entrance to the narrow space. “Fuck’s sake,” he says. He looks angry. “Noct, you know you’re not allowed to be alone with Prompto.” Then he frowns at him. “Why are you wearing Noct’s hoodie? Thought you didn’t like black.”

“Yeah, listen,” Noctis starts, but then Ignis and Cor and the daytime silent one appear.

Gladio looks at the daytime silent one. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping him in sight?” he asks, pointing at him.

The daytime silent one shrugs. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping him in sight?” he asks, pointing at Noctis.

“Yes, yes, well, we’ve all failed in our duties, but I don’t think that’s the most important thing right now,” Ignis says. He looks at him. “Good idea, Your Highness. He’s much less conspicuous now.”

“Uh, why do we care if he’s conspicuous?” Gladio says. “I thought that was the point of dressing like a rainbow threw up on him.”

Ignis sighs and passes Gladio his phone. Gladio looks down at it, then scowls.

“Fuck, seriously?” he says. “They’re reporting on stupid internet conspiracy theories now?”

“Yes, well, unfortunately, this time the conspiracy theory isn’t entirely without merit,” Ignis says.

Cor’s looking at his phone, too, and he turns and slams his hand against the wall of the next building. “Who’s their source?” he says. “I can see where they got a lot of this shit, but how did they make the leap to Niflheim? Is there a leak in the Citadel?”

“If there is, they’d better hope we never find out who it is,” Gladio growls.

He looks from one to the other of them. He doesn’t know what they’re talking about, but everyone seems upset. He waits, but Ignis, Cor and Gladio are all staring at their phones, typing furiously.

“Are we still going to drink milkshake?” he whispers to Noctis.

“Huh?” Noctis says, then looks down at the cups that are still in his hands. “Oh! Shit, sorry. Here.” He holds out one cup.

He takes it. He doesn’t want to drink it, though. His stomach hurts, and he’s worried he might throw up. He stares at Ignis, Cor and Gladio.

“Hey,” Noct says. Then he says it again, louder. “Hey!” Ignis, Cor and Gladio look up. Noct bumps against his shoulder. “But we’re still gonna have a day out, right? Prompto’s in disguise, now, so we can do something fun. Right?”

There’s a silence. Cor sighs. “I – can’t be seen with the kid,” he says. “Not until we’ve got out ahead of this.”

He stares at Cor. He doesn’t know why Cor can’t be seen with him. Cor’s his dad. Does that mean he can’t see Cor now, like he couldn’t see Noctis before? His stomach feels like it’s twisting inside him.

Cor’s looking at his phone, but Gladio’s looking at him. Then Gladio suddenly pulls his own jacket over his head.

“Here,” he says, holding it out to Cor.

Cor frowns at him. “I’m not exactly a hoodie kind of guy,” he says.

“Exactly,” Gladio says. “When’s the last time anyone saw you wear anything other than that jacket? You put this on, no-one’s gonna recognise you.”

Cor’s frown deepens. Then he puts his head slightly on one side. Then he shoves his phone in his pocket, pulls off his jacket, and hands it to Gladio.

“Good thinking, Crownsguard,” he says, taking Gladio’s jacket and pulling it over his head.

Gladio straightens up and lifts his chin. “Thank you, sir,” he says. Then he puts on Cor’s jacket. It makes him look strange. Cor and Gladio both look strange. Then Cor puts up the hood of Gladio’s jacket and he looks even stranger.

“Hey,” Noctis says. “Prompto? You OK?”

He looks at Noctis. He feels bad. He feels very bad. He looks at Cor. “Am I not permitted to see you now?”

“Huh?” Cor says. He glances at Gladio. Gladio shrugs.

“You said – you couldn’t be seen with me,” he says. His voice cracks a little. “So – am I not permitted to see you?”

“Ah, shit, kid,” Cor says. “No, that’s not it. I only meant in public, and – no, listen. You didn’t have the context, OK? No-one’s gonna stop me from seeing you.”

“Oh,” he says. His stomach starts to untwist. He still feels a little sick, though.

Cor rubs a hand over his face. “OK. I’m gonna make a couple calls, but then I’ll come find you, OK? So I’ll see you soon. I’m not going for long, you’ll see me again soon. Just – don’t worry, kid. It’s gonna be fine.”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t feel like it’s fine. But Cor steps forward and hugs him, and then he feels better. Then Cor squeezes his shoulder, and then he leaves.

“Fine,” Noctis says after Cor leaves. “But we still have three Crownsguard, so we’re good. None of you are leaving, right?”

There’s a pause. Then Gladio shrugs.

“Right,” he says. “Not every day you get to watch a puppy get out of its cage.”

“Haha,” Noct says. He doesn’t sound like he’s really laughing, though. He sounds almost angry. But he punches Gladio in the arm as he goes past out of the narrow space, and he thinks that means affection, so he thinks Noctis isn’t really angry.

So it’s good.

~

They go to the park. It’s the park they went to a long time ago, the first park he ever went to, not the park by the house that he’s not permitted to live in any more. It’s good. He thinks if they went to the other park, he would feel bad about the house. But he doesn’t feel bad. He feels good. He looks at all the green grass and the trees and the sky and he feels – light. Much lighter than he has in a long time. He thinks he could float away. If Cor was here, it would be perfect. But Cor went somewhere else. But Ignis and Gladio are here. And Noctis is here.

“Time to get reacquainted with some vegetation,” Noctis says, and sits down on the grass near a tree. He sits down, too. He presses his palms against the grass and feels how cool and smooth it is. Then he lies down and looks at the sky. Noctis looks at him. He looks surprised. Then he lies down, too.

“Wow,” Noctis says after a few seconds. “The sky’s really blue.”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s because of the particles in the atmosphere scattering the light.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Noctis says. “It’s cool, though.”

“Yeah,” he says. “It’s cool.” He feels the grass under his hands and the sun on his face, and he looks at the sky. If he wasn’t wearing Noctis’ jacket, he would feel the grass on his arms, too. But instead he feels Noctis’ jacket on his arms. It’s soft.

Some birds fly overhead. They’re very small and black, but even though he can’t sharpen his vision any more, he knows they’re birds from the way they move. He thinks about the bird he saw by the lake, that poked at the white crumbs of bread with its strange mouth. He’d like to go back to the lake.

“How do you make birds come to you so you can give them food?” he asks Noctis.

“Huh?” Noctis asks, turning his head to look at him. “How dyou mean?”

“Sometimes birds come near you and you can give them food,” he says. “I gave a bird food at the lake.”

“Huh,” Noctis says. He turns his head to look at the sky again. “I dunno. I mostly know about cats,” he says.

“Oh.” He wonders if cats eat the same food as birds.

“I guess – I mean, there are different kinds of birds and some of them are probably more friendly than others,” Noctis says. “And you gotta stay pretty still or they get scared. Except chocobos, they’re really friendly.”

He turns to look at Noctis. “Chocobos?” he says.

“Yeah,” Noctis says. He’s tearing apart a blade of grass, focussing on his fingers. “You know, like your bag.”

He thinks about the chocobo bag. It’s a bag. It’s a strange bag, with hair on it and strange protuberances. He doesn’t understand the link between the bag and birds. But then he remembers the shirt with the yellow birds on it, and how Cor said chocobos? when he chose it. The birds on the shirt were yellow. And the bag is yellow. And the toy that’s also called a chocobo is yellow. And--

“—is the bag a representation of a bird?” he says. “Is a chocobo a bird?”

Noctis turns his head to stare at him. “Uh – what?” he says. “I mean – yeah, obviously. I mean – not obviously. I mean – I thought that was obvious?”

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t realise it was obvious. He wants to go back to the blue room now so he can look at the chocobo bag and see how it’s a bird. But he doesn’t want to go back to the blue room. He wants to stay here, on the grass, with Noctis.

“I thought that’s why you liked it,” Noctis says. “Because you’ve got a chocobo thing. I mean – because you like chocobos.”

“Yes,” he says. Cor told him before that he likes chocobos, and it’s true. He likes the bag, and the toy. “I didn’t know they were birds.” He likes them even more now. He likes birds.

“Huh.” Noct turns back to stare up at the sky. “We really suck at explaining stuff, huh?”

He considers. It depends on who we includes. “Ignis is good at explaining,” he says.

“Uh, well, yeah,” Noctis says. “I suck, though.”

“Yeah,” he says. “You suck.” Then he bites his tongue. He – can’t tell Noctis he sucks. Noctis is a human. He can’t tell a human that the human is bad. How can he tell a human that the human is bad? He’s an MT unit. He can’t tell a human that, even if he’s just agreeing with what the human already said about himself.

But – nothing happens. Except Noctis laughs. He sounds surprised. “Thanks, dude,” he says.

He turns his head to stare at Noctis. Noctis is looking up at the sky, but when he becomes aware of him looking, he turns his head, too. He stares at Noctis and Noctis stares at him. Then Noctis frowns.

“What?” he says. “Do I have something on my face?”

He can’t see anything on Noctis’ face. “No,” he says.

“So… uh, you’re kinda staring,” Noctis says.

“Yes,” he says. He is staring.

“OK,” Noctis says. He’s silent for a couple of seconds. “But, like – why are you staring?”

“I’m trying to understand,” he says. He said Noctis sucks and he – feels bad, but he doesn’t feel bad like he did when he said that Cor’s explanations were inadequate. He doesn’t feel like he’s going to throw up or like he can’t breathe. And Noctis said thanks, dude, and he laughed, just like Cor laughed when he said his explanations were inadequate. He keeps – saying things that he shouldn’t say. He doesn’t know why he keeps saying things. He needs to be more disciplined.

“What are you trying to understand?” Noctis asks.

He takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to draw attention to what he said in case Noctis realises that it was highly inappropriate, but he – really wants to understand. And Noctis – and he thinks maybe Noctis will help him understand. Or ask Ignis to explain, since Noctis isn’t very good at helping him to understand things.

“I said you suck and you didn’t get angry,” he says. His breath catches a little in his throat, but he swallows and keeps talking. “It was inappropriate but you didn’t get angry.”

“Huh. That’s all?” Noctis says. “I mean – no, it wasn’t inappropriate. It was funny. It was like – you’re talking more and more like a real person.” Then his eyes widen. “I mean – like, I mean you are a real person. I didn’t mean – I didn’t mean you’re not a real person, obviously you are. But like – the way they taught you to talk is – kind of weird, and when you start talking more like – like people I’m used to, it’s good. But, like, sometimes I don’t expect it so then it’s funny.”

“What does funny mean?” he asks.

“Uhhhh I – it’s when something makes you laugh,” Noctis says.

“Oh.” He’s never thought about what makes people laugh before. He knows that when people are laughing they aren’t angry or sad, but he doesn’t really know why people do it.

“OK, listen,” Noctis says, “I’m gonna – listen, it’s not always OK to tell people they suck, but when it’s your friend – like, it’s OK to be honest with your friends, you know? And, like, with some friends you can just tell them that even if you don’t really think that, like a joke. It’s – I can’t explain it. It’s just how people talk with their bros.”

“Oh,” he says. “It’s because we’re bros.”

“Yeah,” Noctis says. “Yeah, it’s different when it’s your bro.”

He nods. He’s learning more about what bro means. It’s good. And – now he knows that there are different categories of people and that for some categories it’s appropriate to tell them they suck if it’s true. It’s hard to believe, but he thinks maybe it’s useful for bros to get correct feedback, even if it’s from MT units. And Noctis said he was talking more like a real person, and he wants to be more like a real person, so that’s good. He felt bad before, but now he doesn’t feel bad any more. He feels good. It’s strange, that he could feel good even though he said something so inappropriate. Any MT unit who said something like that in the facility would be strongly corrected. But Noctis laughed and said it was good. And before, Cor laughed and said it was good, too. People here are so strange. But he likes them much better than the people at the facility. He wishes all people were strange like the people he knows here.

“What does joke mean?” he asks. He remembers that Noctis told him before he was going to explain joke.

“Um, it’s – it’s when, uh, I guess – huh, I’m not sure how to…” Noctis says. Then he turns his head to stare up at the sky again. He frowns. “It’s when – you say something that isn’t true, and it’s funny,” he says.

“Oh,” he says. Funny is when people laugh. So a joke is when you say something that isn’t true and then people laugh. He doesn’t understand the purpose or why people would laugh, but he understands what a joke is, and that’s good. And Noctis explained it. “My assessment was incorrect,” he says. “You don’t suck at explaining.”

Noctis looks at him. He looks surprised. Then he smiles. “Huh, cool,” he says.

He smiles back at Noctis. He feels very warm. He doesn’t always understand Noctis, but Noctis is – easy to talk to. Easier than anyone, even Cor. He thinks maybe it’s because Noctis is his bro. Maybe bros are easier to talk to than other people. It makes him feel very good that he can see Noctis again now. He wishes he could use the symbols from the phone in real life so that he can indicate to Noctis how he feels.

“I love you,” he says. Then he remembers, and adds, “Bro.”

Noctis’ eyes widen and he turns his head quickly to look at the sky again. “Don’t just—” he says. “You can’t – it’s – uh, I, uh--” Then, suddenly, he sits up. “Gladio!” he shouts.

Gladio is doing push-ups by a bench nearby. Ignis and the daytime silent one are sitting on the bench. Gladio gets to his feet and comes over.

“Yeah, what?” he says.

“You got, like, some bread or something?” Noctis asks. His face looks flushed.

“Why would I have bread?” Gladio asks. “I look like a bakery to you?”

“Prompto wants to feed the birds,” Noct says. He says it more loudly than he usually speaks.

“Ah, gotcha,” Gladio says. He turns back towards the bench. “Iggy!” he shouts. “You brought a sandwich in case Noct gets hungry, right?”

Ignis raises his eyebrows, then leans down and reaches into his bag. He brings out a square, white object and holds it up.

“Prompto wants to feed the birds,” Gladio shouts.

Ignis stares across at them for a moment, then sighs and stands up. He comes over and holds out the object.

“I suppose it’s in a good cause,” he says.

He sits up. He takes the object and looks at it. It’s something soft wrapped in paper. He looks at Noct.

“It’s a sandwich,” Noct says. “You can feed the bread to the birds.” He’s looking less flushed now.

Oh. The paper has bread inside. He unwraps it, glancing up at Ignis to make sure that he’s not doing the wrong thing. Inside is two pieces of bread with something yellow – cheese, he thinks it’s cheese – between them. Yes. He remembers now. Sandwich.

He looks around. But he can’t see any birds.

“Where are the birds?” he asks.

“They’re not gonna come over here while there’s all these people standing around,” Noctis says. “They get scared.”

“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t know what to do about the fact that there’s all these people standing around. But then Gladio claps Ignis on the shoulder.

“Guess we know when we’re not wanted,” he says. Then they both go back to sit on the bench. So it’s just him and Noctis, and they’re not standing, they’re sitting. But there are still no birds.

“OK, so now you gotta sit really still and be quiet,” Noctis says.

He sits still and is quiet.

“Whoa,” Noctis mutters. “You’re good at that.”

He waits. Nothing happens. Then – there’s a bird. It’s a small bird, almost as small as the one he saw at the lake. It’s poking at the ground with its strange mouth. It looks up, puts its head on one side, then hops a little closer.

“OK,” Noctis murmurs. “Now crumble some of the bread up and toss it so it’s near the bird.”

He does what Noctis says. The bird hops back away from him. He feels bad. He wanted the bird to come closer. But then he sits still, and the bird hops forward again. It pokes its mouth at the fragments of bread that are on the ground. Then it looks at him, putting its head on one side, then on the other.

“That means more, please,” Noctis says.

He’s surprised. He didn’t know Noctis knew how to communicate with birds. He crumbles up some more bread and throws it. This time it’s a little closer to him. He throws it a little closer to him because he wants the bird to come closer. He thinks if the bread is closer, the bird will come closer to eat the bread.

The bird hops back. Then it hops forward. Then it hops forward again and pokes at the bread. Then another bird appears. It stands a little way off and looks at him with its head on one side. He throws some bread towards the second bird. It hops closer.

And then – there are lots of birds. Some of them are small, but a few of them are bigger. He’s never seen so many birds before. He sees that some of them look very similar to each other but others look different. They have different colours and different eyes and different shaped heads and bodies. He looks to see if any of them look like the birds on the shirt or like the chocobo bag, but they don’t. So he thinks there aren’t any chocobos. But he understands now that there are lots of different kinds of birds, just like there are different kinds of plants, and chocobos are one kind. He wonders how many kinds there are. He’d like to see all the kinds. Maybe he could give them all bread to eat so they would come close.

“You’re a natural,” Noctis says.

He throws bread to the birds, and they all try and eat it. Some of them flap their wings at each other because they all want the same bread, so he throws more so that there’s enough for all of them. The first bird hops even closer, and he gives it more bread. It’s almost close enough to touch. He thinks about what it would be like to hold a bird in his hands. He doesn’t know what it would be like. He wonders if they would be soft, like the chocobo toy. They look very soft.

“Hey, uh,” Noctis says, “can I have some bread? It looks kinda fun.”

He holds out the sandwich to Noctis.

“No, I don’t want all of it,” Noctis says. “You need some so you can keep feeding them as well. Here.” He tears off half of one piece of bread and then gives the rest back. Then he crumbles some bread and throws it.

He does the same. Some new birds appear. They’re bigger and rounder, and they walk instead of hopping, but they walk in a strange way and make strange noises.

“Oh, the duck mafia’s here,” Noctis says. “Those sparrows better watch out.”

He doesn’t understand, but Noctis sounds happy. He feels good. He watches the new birds. They’re interesting to look at. The way they walk makes him feel happy. He throws bread to them, but he tries to make sure the small birds get some bread, too. Noctis throws bread, as well. There are birds everywhere. It makes him feel good.

He looks up to see that Cor is there now. He’s sitting on a different bench from Ignis and the daytime silent one. Gladio is standing. All of them are holding up their phones, pointing them towards him and Noctis. Cor smiles at him and raises his hand.

He smiles back.

Chapter 58

Notes:

Thank yooooooou one and all for all your kind comments and excitement and kudos ♥ I really love to hear all of the things you guys pick out and the things you think of that hadn't even occurred to me and steal them to put them in the fic. Hope those of you who celebrate had a lovely Christmas/Hannukah/new year/etc!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They give food to the birds.

It’s interesting. He likes looking at all the birds. Some of the big ones that move oddly are much more brightly coloured than the small ones, but some other big ones are similar shades of speckled and mottled brown. He wonders why. He wonders how the birds decide what colour to be. The ones that are brightly coloured also shine when the light catches them, like – metal. He frowns, trying to sharpen his vision before he remembers that it doesn’t function any more. Are the colourful birds made of metal? If they’re made of metal, are they machines rather than birds? But they look like birds. They look just like some of the other birds, except they’re colourful and made of metal. He can’t think of any reason why someone would construct a machine that looks like a bird.

“Are all the birds alive?” he asks Noctis.

“Huh? Um, yeah,” Noctis says.

“Even the metal ones?” he asks.

“The—” Noctis says, and frowns at him. Then he frowns at the birds. “There aren’t any metal ones.”

He looks back at the birds. He wishes he could sharpen his vision so that he could look more closely at the metal ones. He wonders if his vision will ever correct itself again. It’s been malfunctioning for a long time now. It makes him feel bad.

“The ones that walk like this,” he says to Noctis, and then tries to imitate how the metal birds walk. It’s difficult, because he’s sitting down, but he shifts his hips and shoulders and hopes Noctis understands.

Noctis stares at him. Then he grins.

“Sorry, like what again?” he says.

Oh. His imitation wasn’t sufficiently clear. He tries again, shifting his hips on the ground. He makes a noise like the metal birds as well. He hopes it will help.

Noctis starts laughing. Then he hears someone else laughing. He looks up and he sees Gladio is laughing. Cor is smiling. Ignis is smiling, too. Even the daytime silent one is smiling. Everyone looks happy. That’s good. But he still doesn’t know about the birds.

“The metal birds,” he says again. He thinks he could go and point to the birds, but then he thinks they would move away if he came near them.

Noctis stops laughing, but he’s still smiling. “You mean the ducks?” he says. Then he makes a noise like the metal birds.

“Yes, those birds.” He looks at the birds. Some of them have flown away. He hasn’t thrown them bread for too long and they went somewhere else.

“Yeah, they’re definitely alive. And, uh, they’re not metal,” Noctis says. “Why would you think--” Then he puts his head on one side and looks at the birds. “Oh – because they’re shiny?”

“Yes,” he says. “They’re metal.” But Noctis said they weren’t metal. “They look like metal.”

“They’re just shiny,” Noctis says. “Some birds are shiny. They have shiny feathers.”

“What does feathers mean?” he asks.

“It’s what the birds have on them,” Noctis says. “They’re covered in feathers, like a cat has fur and we have hair and birds have feathers. To keep them warm.”

He frowns. He reaches up and touches his hair. He doesn’t think his hair keeps him warm. If it was to keep him warm, shouldn’t it cover his whole body? Then he wouldn’t need to wear clothes. That might be convenient. But then he wouldn’t be able to wear the colourful clothes that Cor and Noctis gave him. He likes wearing the clothes. So – he’s not sure whether it would be good to be covered in hair or not. But the birds are covered in feathers. And they’re not wearing clothes. It’s probably convenient for the birds not to need to wear clothes, because he thinks it would make it more difficult to fly.

“Are all the birds covered in feathers?” he asks.

“Yeah.” Noctis throws some more bread. “It’s a bird thing.”

“Why do some birds have shiny feathers and some birds have brown feathers?” he asks.

“Um.” Noctis glances round at Ignis. Then he frowns at the birds. “Because – uh – the – it helps them float? Oh, but – no, because the female ones float and they don’t have shiny feathers. Um. Oh, because they want to attract the females. Maybe the females like shiny things.”

He considers the answer. The first part was confusing, but he discards it because Noctis decided it was incorrect. So he only needs to know about the second part. But he doesn’t understand it. He’s about to tell Noctis he doesn’t understand it when Noctis speaks again.

“Oh, so, the shiny ones are males and the brown ones are females, just so you know,” Noctis says. “You probably didn’t know that.”

He blinks. He didn’t know that. He looks at the birds. The ducks. The brown ones and the shiny ones are the same shape and size. They look the same except for the colours and the metal sheen. So – they’re the same? They’re the same type of bird except one is male and one is female? He stares at them. In humans, females have enlarged chests and are usually smaller. They have higher voices. That’s how you can tell. And they have vaginas, but he doesn’t know what a vagina looks like and they’re not evident due to clothing, so it’s not a useful method of distinguishing females and males from each other. And – he doesn’t think it’s very important, anyway. He’s never considered why humans come in two types. MT units only come in one type. But – maybe it’s only to do with the kind of – he’s forgotten the word that Cor and Gladio used. With the procedure whereby humans interact with each other's waste evacuation organs. It must be a different procedure for different waste evacuation organs. But the ducks come in two types as well, and they’re different colours. He looks at the brown ducks. They don’t have enlarged chests. He can’t see their waste evacuation organs because of the shape of their bodies. He’s – confused.

“Why are there male and female ducks?” he asks.

Noctis blinks at him. “Um – because there are?” he says. “That’s just, like – how it works.”

“Oh,” he says. It’s not a helpful explanation.

Noctis chews his lip. “Like – you need there to be male and female ones so that there are babies,” he says. “So there can be more ducks.”

“Oh,” he says. “What are babies?”

“Like, little ducks,” Noctis says. His face is starting to turn red. “Didn’t – I thought Cor told you this stuff? I don’t – you shouldn’t ask me this stuff. You should ask Cor.”

“Oh,” he says. “Sorry.” Cor hasn’t told him anything about ducks. But now he knows he shouldn’t ask Noctis about ducks. And he knows babies are small ducks, and that in order for babies to exist there needs to be both male and female ducks. He doesn’t understand how it all fits together, but he can’t ask Noctis, and he doesn’t want to go and ask Cor now. He wants to stay here, with Noctis. So he doesn’t ask any more questions. Instead, he looks at the ducks. Even though he still doesn’t understand why some of the ducks are shiny, he likes looking at them. He likes the way they shine, and the way they walk, and the noises they make. It makes him feel – something. He’s not sure what. It’s a good feeling. He wishes he could take the ducks with him to the blue room so that he can look at them when he’s feeling bored and lonely.

Then he remembers: the phone. He can make images with the phone. He hasn’t made any for a while, because – he hasn’t felt like doing anything for a while. But now, out here in the park with the ducks, he remembers the phone and he feels – excited. He feels excited. He takes the phone out of his pocket and performs operations until the camera screen appears. Then he makes an image of the ducks. He looks at the image. It’s – inadequate. The image is blurred, and the colours are too dull. The shininess of the ducks is not apparent. He makes another image. The blur is reduced, but still present. And the colours are still inadequate.

“What?” Noctis asks.

He looks up. Noctis is looking at him. His eyebrows are raised. He’s waiting for a response to the question. But – there’s no contextual data for the question. He doesn’t understand the question at all.

“I don’t understand,” he says.

“I mean – you look – I don’t know, worried or whatever,” Noctis says. “So – what’s the problem? I can probably help. Or I can get Ignis to help.”

Oh. Noctis was looking at his facial expressions while he was making the images. And he wants to help. It’s interesting. He wants to think about that, but he also wants to answer Noctis’ question, so he doesn’t think about it now. Hopefully he can think about it later.

“The images are inadequate,” he says. He shows the phone to Noctis. Noctis looks at it.

“Looks fine to me,” he says. “Looks like ducks.”

“Yes.” He looks at the image again. It does look like ducks. But not exactly like the ducks he sees. He can see the brightness where the sunlight reflects off the feathers. But the phone can’t see it. He doesn’t understand why. “It’s not – what I wanted,” he says.

Noctis shrugs, then looks at the ducks for a moment. “Hey, let me look at that,” he says, looking back at him and holding his hand out.

He gives Noctis the phone. Noctis looks at it. “It’s a good phone,” he says. “I told them to get you a good one. But I guess phone cameras aren’t ever gonna be as good as real ones.” He turns towards where the others are sitting and raises his voice. “Specs, can we get Prompto a real camera?”

“Of course,” Ignis says. On the other bench, Cor suddenly starts looking at his phone.

“Yeah, good,” Noctis says. “A good one, though. With all the – you know, the bits.”

Ignis nods like he understands what Noctis means, even though the last part of what Noctis said doesn’t seem to be very clear at all. Then Ignis starts looking at his phone as well, and Noctis turns back to him.

“You could take a video,” he says. “So you can practice your duck imitations at home.”

He looks at the phone. He doesn’t know how to take a video. He – didn’t realise the phone could do that. He remembers the video that Arcis sent to him. He feels excited again. It takes a little time and some experimenting, but he finds the correct symbol to tap and takes a short video of his knees. He watches it back. Those are his knees. What his knees were doing a few seconds ago. He feels – like there’s so much he could do. Like there’s no end to things he could do. Then he sits up sharply and takes a video of the ducks. He feels like if he doesn’t take a video of them immediately, he might swell so much that he explodes. He knows he won’t explode. That doesn’t make any physiological sense. But he feels it anyway.

He takes a video of the ducks. Then he watches it. There they are, eating bread and walking around in their strange way and making strange noises. Now he can watch them whenever he wants to. Now he can take them with him, in his pocket. He can – he can take them with him.

He turns sharply and taps the button to start taking a video. He points the phone at Noctis.

Noctis stares at him. “You OK?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “I’m taking a video. So that I can have it.”

“Oh, huh.” Noctis shrugs, then holds up his hand with two fingers extended. After a second or two, he lowers his hand again. “I’m not doing anything, though,” he says. “It’s going to be a pretty boring video.”

He thinks about boring. He knows what it means, now. He knows the feeling of nothing being interesting, of feeling tired and restless at the same time. He thinks about watching the video of Noctis. He doesn’t think it will be boring.

“I don’t think it will be boring,” he says.

“OK, well – sure, whatever, I guess,” Noctis says.

“Noctis, Prompto,” Ignis calls. He looks over. He points the camera at Ignis. Ignis taps his wrist. Noctis sighs.

“Guess we gotta go home,” he says. “Are you still filming?”

He looks at Noctis. Noctis points at the phone. From contextual data, he thinks filming means taking a video. “Yes,” he says. He points the phone at Gladio. Gladio raises his eyebrows, then grins and flexes his arms.

Cor stands up. He points the phone at Cor. Cor comes over and holds out his hand.

“Time to go,” he says. “Sorry, kid.”

He stands up. He looks at Cor’s face in the phone screen. Cor frowns.

“You taking a picture?” he asks.

“I’m filming,” he says.

“Oh.” Cor’s frown deepens. Then he shrugs. “Come on, then.”

They go.

He films all the way back to the vehicle.

~

When they get back to the towers with the purple light, a silent one is waiting for them on the steps. She stands to attention when they get out of the vehicle.

“Sir,” she says. “The King’s Shield sent me to direct you to the MT’s new quarters.”

Cor frowns and opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Noctis speaks.

The MT? Seriously?” he says. “He has a name, you know.”

The silent one stands up even straighter. Her cheeks flush. “Yes, Your Highness,” she says. “I apologise.”

“Yeah, cool,” Noctis says. “So – direct away, I guess.”

The silent one turns sharply and marches away from them. Noctis stares after her, then looks at him and rolls his eyes.

“She’s new,” he says.

He doesn’t understand what Noctis means, but everyone starts walking after the silent one, so he starts walking, too. Cor puts a hand on his back, and it feels good. They go to a different elevator than usual, and they go up much further. Then they go down two corridors and make two turns. Then the silent one opens a door.

They go inside. It looks – like Ignis’s apartment. Not exactly the same. The couches are deep red and the images on the wall are different. But the layout is the same. There’s a kitchen area and a couch area. There’s a window, and next to the window is a glass door that leads out to a ledge with a railing around it. There’s no bed. There are two doors aside from the one they came in.

Noctis turns on his heels. “Huh,” he says. “I didn’t even know we had another one of these.”

“This is the standard layout for living quarters,” Ignis says. “I should think there are dozens.”

“Wow. It’s – kinda weird.” Noctis walks forward. “Bedroom in here?”

“Yes, sir,” the silent one says. He frowns at her. She addresses Noctis as sir. So – Noctis must rank more highly than her. It’s a surprise. Maybe it’s because she’s new.

Noctis opens the door and looks inside. “Yeah, fine,” he says. “Tell Clarus I said this was fine.” Then he looks at him. “I mean – Prompto, is this OK? You OK staying here for now?”

He looks around. It’s like Ignis’ apartment. But not exactly the same. But it’s still good. He likes Ignis’ apartment. “Yes,” he says.

“Cool. So tell Clarus, then,” Noctis says. “So – let’s go get your stuff.”

~

They get his stuff. They bring everything that belongs to him and Cor from the blue room to the new apartment. Most of it is his clothes and books. And the plants. When they’ve moved everything, the apartment looks a little different. The clothes are in the closet in the bedroom, but the plants are on the windowsill and the books are on the shelf, so it looks a little more like the room at the house by the park. Like it’s affiliated to him. It doesn’t look affiliated to Cor. Cor doesn’t have many things. He remembers trying to give Cor the cactus, the night before he got lost. Cor said he could help make his room look less empty. But then he got lost, so he didn’t help. Thinking about getting lost makes him feel cold. So he tries to stop thinking about it.

Then Noctis has to go, and Ignis and Gladio go, too. They have dinner. Then Arcis arrives and the daytime silent one leaves.

“New digs, huh?” Arcis says, looking around. “Took me a while to find you guys. I like it, though. Homey.”

Homey. He thinks it’s likely that homey means similar to home. The apartment isn’t similar to the house by the park – it’s an apartment, and it’s much higher up, and the kitchen isn’t a separate room, and there’s no park – but – but he thinks he understands. It feels better than the blue room. He still would prefer to go to the house by the park, but this room feels more – comfortable. Even though the blue room was comfortable. It’s hard to understand. But he feels it. His chest understands it even though his mind doesn’t.

He remembers the phone, and takes it out so he can film Arcis. Arcis raises his eyebrows at him, then raises two fingers in the same gesture than Noctis made earlier.

“Taking a picture?” he asks.

“I’m filming,” he says. He should take a picture as well, but the pictures never come out quite right. At least with filming, there’s words and movement to compensate for the inadequacy of the image.

“You want me to do something funny?” Arcis says. He crosses his eyes and sticks out his tongue. It’s surprising. It makes his face look strange. It’s funny. He tries to remember what Noctis said funny meant. It’s when something makes you laugh. Like a joke. A joke is a lie that makes people laugh. But Arcis didn’t tell a lie. He didn’t say anything. He just made a strange face. He looks at Cor to see if he’s laughing. But Cor is looking at his laptop.

Arcis stops making the strange face. “No dice, huh?” he says. “Guess I need to work on my comedy routines.”

“Yes,” he says. He doesn’t understand anything that Arcis said.

Arcis laughs. So it was funny, because it made Arcis laugh. He wonders if he should have laughed as well.

“Lacertus says you guys went to the park,” Arcis says, sitting down on the couch. “That’s pretty cool, huh? Finally allowed outside.”

“Yes,” he says. It was warm outside. But cool means something else. He’s heard it a lot of times. He thinks it means good. Like sucks means bad. “It was cool,” he says. Then he finds the video of the ducks. “We saw ducks.” He shows the video to Arcis.

“Hey, you did,” Arcis says. “That’s awesome.”

He remembers Noctis saying he should work on his duck imitation at home. Noctis thought his imitation wasn’t adequate. It’s true. He had to repeat it multiple times for Noctis to understand what he meant. He knows the word duck now, so he can just use the word in future and doesn’t need to perform an imitation. But Noctis said he should work on it. He plays the video again and tries to mimic how the ducks sound. Arcis laughs. It’s a sudden laugh. It makes him jump. When he looks at Arcis, Arcis looks very happy. He looks at Cor. Cor’s looking up from his laptop. He looks very happy as well, even though he didn’t laugh.

People laugh when they’re happy. He likes it when people laugh. And Noctis laughed when he performed the duck imitation before. He doesn’t understand the connection. But he likes it when people laugh.

“Ducks are pretty cool, huh?” Arcis says.

“Yeah,” he says. “Ducks are pretty cool.”

~

Later, they play cards. Cor plays as well. It’s unusual. Usually Cor is busy. But Cor seems – different today. He seems less tired and less angry. It’s good. They play Cactuar Cross. Arcis deals. He picks up his hand and engages his statistical element. Tries to engage his statistical element. But – nothing happens. He frowns and tries again. The result is the same. It’s not that the element is failing to engage. It’s not responding at all. It’s as though it’s not there any more.

He – doesn’t know what to do. He looks at the cards that Cor plays, then he looks at the cards in his hand and he – tries to engage his statistical element. He doesn’t know how else to proceed. But it doesn’t respond. Arcis and Cor look at him.

“Your turn, kid,” Cor says.

Yes. It’s his turn. But he doesn’t know what to play. How can he decide on the appropriate card without any information about probabilities? But it’s his turn. Everyone’s waiting for him. So – he picks a card at random and plays it. They keep playing. Every time it’s his turn, he tries again to engage his statistical element. But it doesn’t engage. And then – he loses the game.

Cor puts his cards down. Cor and Arcis both stare at him.

“Uh – you feeling OK, kid?” Arcis asks.

He swallows. His throat is burning. He feels – lost. Cor reaches out and grabs his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He’s malfunctioning. He shouldn’t tell anyone, in case--

--no, that’s not correct. It’s appropriate to tell Cor and Arcis. He should tell them. It’s appropriate.

“My statistical element is malfunctioning,” he says. It’s hard to say. His throat is burning.

“Your – element?” Cor says. “The thing that lets you do all the math in your head?”

“Yes,” he whispers. It’s not his mathematical element, but it is math of a sort.

“Malfunctioning how?” Cor asks. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” he says. “It – won’t engage. I can’t – I can’t detect it.”

“You mean like – maybe like it’s not there any more?” Cor asks.

“Yes.” He swallows. It’s like it’s not there any more. How could it not be there any more? It’s part of his body. Parts of his body shouldn’t just – disappear.

“OK, all right. C’mere.” Cor pulls him forward and hugs him. It’s good. It makes him feel a little better. But it doesn’t solve the problem. The element still won’t engage.

“Hey,” Cor says, letting go and holding him by the shoulders. “It’s OK. You don’t need that crap. Humans don’t have statistical elements. So it’s good, right? Your system is getting rid of all the shit it doesn’t need.”

He stares at Cor. It’s correct: humans don’t have statistical elements. But he isn’t human. He’s an MT unit. A level two. Level two MT units have statistical elements. He does need it. How can he play cards if he doesn’t have a statistical element?

“We’ll talk to the doc in the morning,” Cor says. He hugs him again. “It’s good, I promise. It’s a good thing.”

He doesn’t think it’s a good thing. It’s a malfunction. And he can even – he can even see that some malfunctions could be good. It feels dangerous to think it, but – he can taste food, and that’s a malfunction, but it’s good. Ignis makes good food. And milkshake is good. He wouldn’t want to go back to not tasting food. So it’s a good malfunction. It’s – improved functionality. He doesn’t understand how a malfunction could produce improved functionality, but it seems straightforward that being able to taste Ignis’ food is an improvement. But not being able to engage his statistical element isn’t good. There’s no improved functionality there. It’s just reduced functionality. And – it makes him feel bad. Like part of him is missing.

“You want to play again?” Arcis asks.

He thinks about playing again. He thinks about playing without his statistical element. It makes him feel – bad.

“OK, let’s not do that.” Arcis puts the cards back in the box. “Why don’t you read something instead.”

“Yes,” he says. He feels bad. But maybe reading something will make him feel better. He goes to the shelf and picks out Royal Lucian Dictionary and brings it back to the couch. He opens it. But he can’t concentrate. He tries to engage his statistical element again. It doesn’t engage. Then he thinks: what if his other elements are malfunctioning, too? He’s suddenly afraid. It’s like a wave of cold has passed through his body. He tries engaging his combat strategic element. For a moment, there’s nothing, and he thinks it’s malfunctioning. He’s sweating. The sweat is cold. His stomach hurts. Then combat strategic element engages. He sends it a query. The query isn’t a combat scenario. It doesn’t even make sense. He feels confused and afraid, and it’s difficult to invent a query under these conditions. But he needs to test it.

The combat strategic element informs him that the query is outside expected parameters. He takes a deep breath. It’s functioning. The combat strategic element is functioning correctly. He feels – sick. Like he might be sick. He tests his other elements. All of them are functioning. It’s just the statistical element that is malfunctioning. It’s good. It’s bad, because the statistical element is malfunctioning, but it could be much worse. He thinks about the fact that his vision no longer functions correctly, and that his hearing has malfunctioned multiple times recently. He tries sharpening his hearing. He can hear his own heartbeat, and Cor’s, and Arcis’s. His heart is beating too fast. But his hearing is functioning. So--

So. Most of his body is still functioning correctly. So it’s good. And Cor said – that it was good that his statistical element was malfunctioning. He doesn’t understand how it could be good. But Cor said it was good. Maybe tomorrow he can ask Cor about it. Or Ignis. Ignis might be able to explain why it’s good. But for now – maybe he should just try to believe that it’s good. Then he’ll feel better. He wants to feel better.

He listens to Cor’s heartbeat for a while. Then he watches the videos. The video of the ducks, and the one of everyone walking back to the vehicle. Then he watches the video of Arcis and Arcis’s dad. Arcis grins at him and rubs his head the same way Cor does. Then he feels better. He watches the video of the ducks again and thinks about how Arcis laughed when he was imitating the ducks. Maybe it was funny. He looks up funny in Royal Lucian Dictionary. The definition is providing light mirth or laughter; seeking or intending to amuse. He has to look up mirth and amuse, but then he understands. It’s the same as Noctis said: funny is something that makes people laugh. But it isn’t helpful for understanding why some things make people laugh.

He looks up joke. The definition is something said or done to provoke laughter. So it just means something funny. But that doesn’t help at all. Noctis was more specific than Royal Lucian Dictionary. He said that a joke is when you say something that’s not true. So a joke is a lie. It’s odd. It’s not good to lie. But jokes make people laugh, so they make people happy. He doesn’t think lies make people happy. So – he doesn’t understand.

He considers the problem. Then he looks at Cor. Cor’s sitting at the table looking at his laptop. Arcis is sitting on the opposite couch looking at his phone. He considers.

“Cor,” he says. “I shut down my heart.”

Cor’s head snaps up. “What?” he says. Then he jumps out of the chair and runs over to the couch. “Kid, what? Start it up again. Start it, now. That’s an order.” He grabs him by the arms and squeezes tightly. He shakes him a little.

He stares at Cor. It wasn’t the desired reaction. Cor looks angry.

“Kid?” Cor says. “Did you restart it?” His voice is shaking. Arcis is standing up as well, holding his phone and looking worried.

“I didn’t shut it down,” he says. “I – it wasn’t true.” He realises he made an error. He thought if he said something that obviously wasn’t true, it would be an appropriate experiment. But – it didn’t work.

“It—” Cor says. He frowns at him, the lines on his face growing deeper and deeper. “You – why would you say that if it wasn’t true? What the fuck?”

It was a serious error. He should have talked to Cor first. He doesn’t know why he thought it was appropriate to test out the procedure without receiving permission first. He wonders if the decision-making part of his mind is malfunctioning. It seems like such an obvious error now.

“I wanted to say a joke,” he says. He feels – scared. But also – bad. Mostly bad. Because Cor feels bad. He can see that Cor feels bad. And it’s his fault. He wanted to make Cor laugh, so that he would feel good. But now Cor feels bad. “If I had really shut down my heart, I would be dead. So I thought you would know it wasn’t true.” The explanation seems inadequate. It was a poor decision. And he made Cor feel bad.

Cor stares at him for a long moment. Then he closes his eyes. Then he hugs him. He hugs him tightly. “Fuck me,” he mutters into his ear. Then he lets go. “OK, listen, don’t – who taught you what a joke is?”

“Noctis,” he says.

“Yeah, that figures,” Cor mutters. Then he looks at him. “What did he tell you a joke was?”

“Something that isn’t true that makes people laugh,” he says. “I – thought you would laugh.” But Cor didn’t laugh.

Cor sits down heavily on the low table in front of the couch. He rubs a hand over his face. “OK. OK. It’s fine,” he says. “Kid, just – listen, just--” He shakes his head. “Listen, there are some things you shouldn’t joke about, OK?”

“Oh,” he says. Noctis didn’t tell him there were things he shouldn’t joke about. There are rules about jokes, but he doesn’t know them. It’s no surprise that he made an error. He didn’t know there were rules.

“Listen, just – for now, just don’t make any jokes,” Cor says. “OK?”

He nods. “Yes,” he says. It’s appropriate. He wanted to see if he could make Cor laugh, but he made a serious error. It’s appropriate to forbid him from saying jokes. He doesn’t know the rules. He was feeling bad because of the element, and then he tried to make himself feel better by making Cor feel better, but he made Cor feel bad instead. His throat starts burning again.

“Oh, hey, hey, no,” Cor says. He hugs him again. “Hey, no, it was just a mistake. OK? Nobody’s mad at you. Don’t be upset. I mean – that’s not an order. I mean – there’s nothing to be upset about. It was all just a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes.”

He swallows. “I made you feel bad,” he says. “I wanted to make you feel good.”

“Huh?” Cor says. He stares at him. Then he brushes his hair away from his face and stares at him some more. “That’s why you made a joke? To make me feel good?”

He nods. But now everyone feels bad. He thinks even Arcis feels bad. Arcis is sitting down again now, but he doesn’t look happy. He thinks Arcis feels bad.

“Oh, kiddo,” Cor says. “That’s – hey, listen. Hey, are you listening?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “OK, listen real good, OK? This is important. You make me feel good just by existing. So you don’t have to do anything special. OK? Do you understand?”

He stares at Cor. Cor looks back at him.

“Do you understand?” he asks again.

“Yes,” he says. He understands all the words, and the meaning of the sentence. But he’s not sure he understands how he can make Cor feel good just by existing. But then – then he thinks about Dr Fortis. About how she told him to think about how he feels about Cor, and that can help him understand how Cor feels about him. And he thinks – yes. Cor makes him feel good just by existing. So – maybe it could be true the other way as well. Even though Cor is a human and he’s an MT unit, and even though Cor is much more skilled and important and intelligent than he is. But maybe it works anyway. Maybe he doesn’t have to be skilled and important and intelligent to make Cor feel good. Maybe he just has to exist.

“Yes,” he says again. “I understand.”

“Good,” Cor says. “That’s good. I want you to remember that, OK?” He brushes his hair out of his face again. “Getting pretty long there, kiddo,” he says. “Maybe time for a haircut.”

“Yes,” he says. In the facility, his head was shaved once a week. But nobody’s shaved his head here, and now his hair is long. Maybe it will help keep him warm, like the birds. But he’ll still need to wear clothes.

Cor smiles at him and squeezes his shoulder. “Why don’t you get some air?” he says.

He’s not sure what Cor means, but then Cor nods his head towards the glass door that leads out to the ledge with the railing around it. So Cor wants him to go out onto the ledge. He thinks about the meaning of the phrase. Get some air. He gets air all the time. He breathes air into his lungs many times in a minute. But – but outside, the air is different. It feels different. It’s hard to explain. It must be the same, or he wouldn’t be able to breathe it. But it feels different. So get some air is a figure of speech that means go outside. Because the air feels different there. He thinks that’s right. It doesn’t quite make sense, but humans don’t make sense a lot of the time. So he thinks it’s right.

He gets up and goes to the glass door. He goes out onto the ledge. It’s very high up. Higher than the window of the blue room, and higher than Cor’s apartment. He can see all the lights in the city, the lights in the buildings and the lights on the streets. It’s beautiful. And he can see--

--a light--

--in the sky.

He stares. In the sky, there’s an object. It’s a small, round object, and it’s bright white. It’s shining. It’s emitting light. And it’s – hanging in the sky. Like the sun, but it’s white instead of yellow and not as bright. He can look directly at it. And it’s – beautiful. It’s so beautiful. And then he sees – other lights. There are other lights in the sky. They’re much smaller, just tiny points of white light but there are – a lot of them. He looks up and around and there are – there are a lot. He can’t see any near the bigger white light, or directly above where the purple light is emitted from the towers, but everywhere else, he sees them. And suddenly, everything is beautiful. He’s seen the night sky before and it’s always been black, or purple and yellow, but now--

He turns. He turns and opens the glass door. Cor looks up from his laptop and then frowns and stands. “Kid, you OK?”

“Yes,” he says. He feels – breathless. “Come and see. Come and see the sky.”

Cor’s frown deepens, but he crosses the room and comes out onto the ledge.

“Look,” he says. He points at the light.

“Full moon, huh?” Cor says.

His mouth falls open. He’s read about the moon. The moon is a chunk of rock floating in space. It orbits Eos, but it’s much smaller than Eos. But he didn’t know – it was a light. He didn’t know it was so beautiful.

“It’s a light,” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Cor says. “It reflects the sunlight.”

“But the sun is on the other side of Eos,” he says. “That’s why it’s dark.”

“Uh, yeah,” Cor says. “But – the sunlight comes past Eos and hits the moon. It’s – you should probably read it in your book. It’s been a while, kid, I don’t want to get it wrong.”

He stares and stares. The moon is a light. It’s not a light. It’s reflecting the sun. Even though he can’t see the sun at all, the sun is still there, on the other side of Eos, making the moon shine. Like the ducks, like the feathers that shone in the sunlight. But he can look at the moon. He can see there are – patterns on it. If he could sharpen his vision – but no. He can’t sharpen his vision. He feels bad for a moment, but then he realises--

“The other lights,” he says. His hands are shaking and he grips the railing. “Are they – stars?” He can’t believe it could be true. Stars are extremely large. But if they’re very far away--

“Yeah, that’s right,” Cor says. Then he looks at him. “Guess you’ve never seen them before, huh?”

He stares at the stars. “There are so many,” he says.

“There’s a shitload more than we can see here,” Cor says. “All the light from the city makes it hard to see them. That’s why you couldn’t see them before – too much light. You have to go somewhere high up or somewhere far away from the city. But there are a lot more that you can’t see.”

Cor turns round. “Hey, Arcis,” he calls through the door. “Turn off the lights.” A moment later, the light in the room turns off, and all the stars seem a little brighter. And he understands: all the light makes it hard to see the stars. There’s too much light. And he wants – to go somewhere far away from the city, so he can see the other stars. He wants to see all the stars. He wants to be able to see the patterns on the moon. He wants to see everything.

He takes the phone out of his pocket and makes an image of the moon. It looks – like a blurry white blob on a grainy black surface. He makes another image, but it looks the same. It’s hard to make a good image. His hands are trembling. But – it’s still an image. It’s an image of the moon. Even if it doesn’t look right, it will still help him to remember.

He sends the image to Noctis. He knows it won’t show Noctis how beautiful it is, but he – but he wants to tell Noctis about it. About the moon and the stars. He wants to tell Noctis and Ignis and Gladio and everyone he knows.

His phone lights up.

Noctis: What am I looking at?

He types a response. It’s difficult. His hands are trembling and he keeps wanting to look up at the sky.

Prompto: It’s the moon. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: Oh. Huh

Noctis: You need a better camera

Prompto: It’s beautiful. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: I… guess

Noctis: Is it out now?

Prompto: Yes. 🙂 ❤️

He wishes there was a symbol that could convey how he feels looking at the moon and the stars, so that he could show Noctis. He needs to study the symbols more. He feels amazed. He looks at the images he made when Ignis and Gladio were demonstrating the symbols to him and sees that there are several that look like amazement. He constructs a message that he hopes will make Noctis understand.

Prompto: It’s beautiful. 🙂 😵 😱 😮 😲❤️

Noctis: Whoa

Noctis: Really upped your emoji game there, bud

Noctis: OK, OK, I’m looking

He looks at the moon. Cor puts a hand on the back of his neck but doesn’t say anything. He’s looking at the moon, too. Then Noctis sends a message.

Noctis: Yeah, OK. It’s pretty cool

Noctis: Thanks for letting me know 👍

Noctis is looking at the moon, too. And Noctis thanked him for telling him that the moon is beautiful. Maybe Noctis had never seen the moon before, either. It’s good. He wouldn’t want Noctis to not have seen something so beautiful.

Cor takes his hand off his neck then puts his arm around him. “Hey, so you know you were worried about wanting to make me feel happy?” he says.

“Yes.” Cor said he could make him feel happy just be existing. But he’d still like to make Cor laugh.

“I feel pretty happy right now,” Cor says.

Oh. Cor feels happy. Because Cor is looking at the moon. The moon makes everyone feel happy. He wonders if the moon shines every night. He needs to read the book Ignis gave him so that he understands the moon and the stars better. But – right now, he can just look at them. He doesn’t need to understand them right now.

“Yes,” he says. “I feel happy, too.”

Notes:

A number of people have asked me if Prompto needs a haircut, and the answer is: yes! He looks like a goddamn hippie. (It's adorable, but also starting to be inconvenient...)

Chapter 59

Notes:

Thanks so much to all of you who dropped a line in the last chapter! I reread this beast to try and reduce continuity errors and came to the conclusion that it is much, much longer than I remembered and also that I have somehow been writing it for three and a half years?!? What??? Anyway, for those of you who have given large portions of your life in following this, we salute you :D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

He’s awake.

No. He’s not awake. He’s not sure. He’s – floating. He feels like he’s floating. It’s warm. It’s pleasant. He floats. He should probably wake up. But – it’s pleasant. So he doesn’t.

Someone’s talking. It’s Cor. The voice is quiet, muffled. He sharpens his hearing. He likes listening to Cor.

“Yeah, I get that,” Cor says. “OK, but what do you want me to say? I’m not gonna make a statement without – Yeah, I get that, Clarus, but I’m not gonna say that. No, I don’t want the PR guys to say it for me. Well, firstly because no-one’s gonna believe it, and secondly because, what, I’m never gonna go out with the kid in public again? He’s – he’s my kid. He’s my kid, Clarus. I’m not just gonna pretend he doesn’t exist.”

There’s a pause. He listens. He’s not really thinking about the words, just the sound. Cor’s voice. Some of the words make him feel good. He’s my kid. Most of them, he doesn’t understand. He’s not awake, not really. If he wanted to understand them, he’d have to wake up. But he doesn’t want to do that. He wants to be here, floating, listening to Cor’s voice.

“OK, well, you do that,” Cor says. “Yeah. I’ll be waiting.”

Then Cor stops talking. It’s quiet. Then the door opens. There’s a sigh. It’s Cor. Cor is in the room. Then there’s a touch on his shoulder.

“Hey, kiddo,” Cor says. “Time to get up.”

He opens his eyes. Cor is standing next to the bed. He wonders if Cor took his pill last night. He thinks he did. Cor doesn’t look like he didn’t sleep. So he just got up earlier than him. He looks at the clock by the bed. He slept a long time. Longer than usual.

“Up and at em,” Cor says. “You got school today.”

School. He has school. He sits up, his stomach suddenly fluttering. He’s – excited. He’s excited.

Cor smiles. “Looking forward to school, huh?”

“Yes,” he says. He gets out of bed. He remembers the schedule. He memorised it, and Arcis told him yesterday that it was Wednesday, so today is Thursday. School starts in one hour. The first block of time is Art and Art History, with Ignis Scientia. Ignis Scientia is Ignis, his first name and his last name. He’s excited.

He showers and has breakfast with Cor. Then he puts books into the chocobo bag. He looks at the bag carefully first. He compares it to the chocobo toy. He doesn’t have the shirt with chocobos any more. He left it in the apartment where the one with the green jacket lives. Thinking about that makes him feel bad. But he doesn’t want to feel bad. He feels good. He saw the moon and now he’s going to school. So he stops thinking about the shirt and looks at the bag and the toy. Both of them are yellow, like the birds on the shirt. They have hair all over them. But birds have feathers. He doesn’t know if feathers and hair are the same. He thinks Noctis would have told him if feathers were just hair. But the toy and the bag have hair, so he’s not sure. Both of them consist of two primary elements and some subsidiary elements. The toy consists of a larger subspherical element and a smaller subspherical element, both covered in yellow hair. The bag is similar, except the larger element is a different shape and is hollow with an opening which closes with a zip. He considers this. If both are meant to represent the same type of organism, then it’s possible there are two different forms of the organism, like the male and female ducks. But on the other hand, the bag functions as a vessel for transporting objects, while the toy’s function is to be hugged. So it’s possible that the difference in shape is due to the difference in function rather than any difference in the object represented. Yes. He thinks that’s likely.

He looks at the subsidiary elements. In both cases these are: two hemispherical pieces of glass, attached to the smaller sphere; a soft orange element with an irregular curved shape and no hair, attached to the smaller sphere; two flaps covered in yellow hair, attached to either side of the larger sphere; and two orange cylinders ending in flat orange irregular shapes with no hair, attached to the side of the larger sphere opposite to the smaller sphere.

He looks at the clock. There’s still twenty minutes before school. He sits on the couch and opens the notebook Ignis gave to him. The notebook is for making notes about things he learns. There are notes from when he was at school before. He considers whether it’s appropriate to use the notebook to make notes about the elements of the chocobo representations. He thinks it’s appropriate. But he isn’t sure.

“Cor,” he says.

Cor is sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading a paper. He looks up. “Yeah?”

“Is it appropriate to make notes about the chocobo representations in this notebook?” he asks. He closes the notebook and lifts it up so Cor can see it. “Ignis gave it to me for school.”

Cor frowns slightly. “Yeah, sure,” he says. “It’s your notebook. You can write whatever you want in it.”

Oh. “Thank you,” he says. Then he looks at the notebook. It’s his notebook. He can write whatever he wants in it. He’s never considered the idea of writing whatever he wants. He’s not sure what he would want to write. Maybe he wouldn’t want to write anything. But if he wanted to – he could. He could write whatever he wanted.

He feels briefly dizzy with the possibilities. But he doesn’t have time to be dizzy. Now there’s only fifteen minutes before school. So he picks up the pencil and writes.

Primary element: large sphere.
Primary element: small sphere.
Secondary element: glass hemisphere 1.
Secondary element: glass hemisphere 2.
Secondary element: orange irregular shape.
Secondary element: yellow flap 1.
Secondary element: yellow flap 2.
Secondary element: orange cylinder 1.
Secondary element: orange cylinder 2.

He adds some notes about the detail and location of each element. Then he looks at the bag and the toy and considers. He thinks about the birds he saw in the park. And about the shirt. And he--

--understands.

He blinks, then closes his eyes and tries to remove the understanding. He opens his eyes again. But this time, the understanding appears immediately. Yes: it makes sense. He sees now how every part of the representation functions. Yes.

He picks up the pencil and writes.

Primary element: large sphere. BODY
Primary element: small sphere. HEAD
Secondary element: glass hemisphere 1. EYE
Secondary element: glass hemisphere 2. EYE
Secondary element: orange irregular shape. BEAK
Secondary element: yellow flap 1. WING
Secondary element: yellow flap 2. WING
Secondary element: orange cylinder 1. LEG AND FOOT
Secondary element: orange cylinder 2. LEG AND FOOT

He looks at the list. It’s pleasing. He’s understood every part of the chocobo representations. Except for whether the hair is a true representation of feathers or not. But otherwise, he’s understood it. He hugs the chocobo toy. He feels pleased.

“You ready to go?” Cor asks.

He looks up, then puts down the toy and puts the notebook in the chocobo bag.

“Yes,” he says.

~

Cor takes him to Ignis’ apartment. Arcis follows behind them. Instead of getting in the car, they just walk to the elevator, go up one floor, and then walk down a short stretch of corridor. Ignis is so close. Now he knows, he could go there even without Cor. No, he couldn’t go there. He’s not permitted to go anywhere on his own. But he knows the way.

Cor knocks, and then they go in. And then he’s in Ignis’s apartment. It feels like a very long time since he’s been in Ignis’s apartment. He doesn’t know how long it’s been. A lot of days. But now he’s here again. It smells good, like cooking, and there are images on the wall. And Ignis is there. He’s sitting at the table. He’s not smiling, but he looks pleased. It’s good. He’s pleased, too. He feels like he’s been aching and now he’s not. He didn’t know he was aching. But now he’s not aching any more.

“Ah, good morning,” Ignis says. He points to the couch. On the table are books. Another notebook and the book that Ignis showed him before. Abstract Art: a Retrospective Royal Lucian Gallery. And there are pens and pencils, and an eraser. Everything is lined up. It makes him feel – like he’s not aching any more.

“OK, so – I’ll come get you after school,” Cor says. “Or – I guess it’s His Highness’s time so I’ll come see what you guys are doing.”

“Yes,” he says. Cor will come back at three p.m. That’s when the block of time assigned to Noctis begins. So now he knows.

Cor leaves. Arcis sits down. It’s different. Before, Arcis always stood outside the door. But now he’s inside. But it’s good. He likes Arcis.

“Now,” Ignis says. “I seem to recall we were interrupted in our last discussion on the subject of abstract art. So let’s resume.”

~

They resume. He looks at the book. But this time, Ignis tells him about the images. He tells him that for a long time humans made images using coloured pastes, and the images were representations of real objects and organisms and humans. But then later humans started making images with pastes that were less and less like real objects, until they began to make abstract images. Abstract images are not intended to represent specific objects. They represent emotions and ideas. Different people might see them in different ways. They’re fluid in a way that representational images are not. They allow exploration of colour, shape and arrangement of elements, unlimited by the need for realistic representation. So people who are interested in colour, shape and arrangement of elements find them pleasing to make, and to examine.

“Why did humans make images with paste instead of with a camera?” he asks. It seems inefficient.

“Well, a number of reasons, but primarily because cameras had not yet been invented,” Ignis says.

He stares at Ignis. “I don’t understand,” he says.

Ignis looks back at him. He looks like he’s considering something. Then he shifts his posture a little and folds his hands on his knee.

“Prompto,” he says. “Do you understand that things were different in the past from how they are today?”

“Yes,” he says.

“Can you explain it to me?” Ignis asks.

He considers how to explain it. It’s difficult to explain. He thinks about the way Ignis structures explanations. They’re very clear, and Ignis makes them clearer by providing examples. He tries to think of a way to explain that will be similar to the way Ignis explains things.

“Things change over time,” he says. “For example, I was in the facility, but now I’m not in the facility any more. So things have changed. They were different in the past.”

Ignis nods. “I see,” he says. “Do you know anything about what the world was like before you were born?”

“I wasn’t born,” he says. “MT units aren’t born. MT units are made. I was made in the facility.”

Arcis starts to say something, but then Ignis looks at him and he stops.

“I see,” Ignis says again. He doesn’t look as pleased as he did before. “Then – do you know anything about what the world was like before you were – made?”

“No,” he says. Before Cor told him to follow, he didn’t know what the world was like at all. He only knew about the facility. And even then, he didn’t know what the facility was like before he was made. How would he know that? He thinks it was probably the same. There would have been level twos, just different ones. The same things would have happened. And outside – he thinks it was probably the same, too. The sun and the moon and Eos, and the tree and the grass and the birds. The people would have been different. If it was longer ago than thirteen to nineteen years, Noctis wouldn’t have been born yet. But there would have been other people. Maybe some people were alive then who are dead now. Like Argentum. “There would have been different people, but otherwise it was probably the same,” he says.

Ignis smiles a little. “An interesting answer,” he says. “And you’re correct. Broadly speaking, the natural world has not changed a great deal, at least, not over the timescales we’re considering. But the world of people has changed very much in the last few hundred years. For example, until approximately one hundred and fifty years ago, we did not use electricity.”

He stares at Ignis. It seems – nonsensical. Why wouldn’t humans use electricity? How would it be possible to live without using electricity?

“Why?” he says.

“We didn’t know how to harness it,” Ignis says.

He frowns. “Why not?”

“Because the body of knowledge that exists now has been built up slowly over time,” Ignis says. “It hasn’t been an entirely linear or forward-moving process, but broadly speaking, in the past we knew less than we do now, and the further back in time you go, the less we knew. So: a hundred and fifty years ago, we first started to understand how to harness electricity. Before that time, although the existence of electricity was known, it could not be used for everyday life as it is now.”

He – doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand. If electricity couldn’t be used, then – what about lights? What about phones? What about surveillance equipment? What about dropships? What about – MT units?

“What about MT units?” he asks. He doesn’t know how it would be possible to make an MT unit without electricity. Even though MT units don’t require charging until they reach level four, electricity is still required to grow MT units from a single cell, and to modify them, and to correct them.

Ignis looks down at his knees for a moment. Then he takes a breath. “There were no MT units,” he says. “In fact, there were no MT units until perhaps twenty-five years ago.”

He feels – confused. And – frightened. He doesn’t know why he’s frightened. But there were no MT units. It doesn’t seem possible. Can it be possible? Ignis said it, and he doesn’t know of a time when Ignis has lied to him. But maybe – Ignis just doesn’t understand. Ignis doesn’t know very much about MT units. So maybe he-- So maybe--

“How did – we crush our enemies before there were MT units?” he asks. His voice is wavering.

Arcis makes a quiet noise. Ignis doesn’t say anything, but his mouth twitches. He can’t decipher what Ignis is feeling from the mouth twitch. He needs more data. But Ignis doesn’t look pleased.

“People have always fought each other,” Ignis says after a long moment of silence. He speaks slowly, like he’s thinking and speaking at the same time. “MTs are – soldiers. I am also a soldier, as is Gladio. As are Cor and Arcis. We fight when there is need, just as MTs do. Before there were MTs, fighting was much the same. Perhaps less sophisticated. And with more – care taken to avoid casualties. At least in some cases.”

He tries to understand Ignis’s answer. He understands that Ignis is a soldier. He’s a Crownsguard. So are Cor and Arcis and Gladio and all the silent ones. But not Noctis or Dr Fortis. But – they’re human. So they’re soldiers, but their function is to instruct MT units. Human soldiers don’t fight on the battlefield. That’s what MT units are for.

“I – perhaps I – shouldn’t have raised the subject,” Ignis says. “I apologise, Prompto. I wasn’t thinking about where it might lead.”

“Yeah, but--” Arcis says. He looks at Arcis. Arcis is leaning forward. He looks worried. “The kid’s gotta understand, right?” he says. “He’s gotta learn about it some time. I mean – it’s not fair to keep him in the dark.”

“Hm, true,” Ignis says. “On the other hand, presenting too much information at once can be – overwhelming.”

Yes. It’s overwhelming. He feels overwhelmed. He feels – like there’s too much, like he can’t even begin to try and understand it all.

“Now, Prompto,” Ignis says, “do you remember when you read about the sun, and what it was, and then you found it hard to believe it was true?”

“Yes,” he says. His voice sounds like it’s coming from somewhere outside himself. His thoughts are turning around and around, very fast, but none of them make any sense.

“This is like that,” Ignis says. “There’s too much information, too much context that you don’t have. So for now, you just need to accept that some things are true without trying to understand them. The understanding will come, with time.”

It takes him a moment to understand what Ignis says. There are too many demands on his resources, and his processes are beginning to slow down. But then he understands, and he remembers. Yes: it’s like before, with the sun. And now he knows a lot more about the sun, and even though it’s still hard to comprehend, it doesn’t feel – overwhelming any more. So he can do the same thing now. Ignis will help him. And Cor and Arcis. They’ll help him to understand. He should wait for them to help him, and not try to understand before then.

He takes a deep breath. He reaches down and squeezes the smaller subspherical element of the chocobo bag. The – head. It’s the head. He thinks about birds. He thinks about the fact that Ignis said the natural world was the same. It’s the same as it was, the plants and the trees and the rain and the birds. It just keeps going, cycling over and over. So – that’s something. It’s something that makes sense. That makes him feel better.

He squeezes the bag, and he feels better. Arcis gets up and comes to sit beside him.

“Hug?” Arcis says.

“Yes,” he says.

Arcis hugs him. Then he feels better again.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Any time, kid,” says Arcis. He stays sitting beside him. Then he points at the book. “Wow, huh. That’s cool.”

He looks at the page. It’s an image, with colours and shapes. It’s non-representational. It’s an image that represents feelings and ideas. The colours are interesting. There are blues and reds that stand out, and softer yellows and greens. The shapes are – curved, irregular. There’s no obvious order. He asks his mathematical element to analyse it, and it returns the hexadecimal codes of the colours, the equations of the lines that bound the shapes, and the areas of the shapes themselves. Some shapes it interprets as three -dimensional, and for those it returns the volumes along with assumptions about the projection. Other shapes it interprets as two-dimensional. Nothing in the image is consistent. Nothing is simple. Mathematically, the image is – difficult. But – he likes it.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s cool.”

Ignis laughs quietly. “Well, perhaps we should have begun with a little art appreciation rather than art history,” he says.

He looks at the image. He appreciates it. He doesn’t understand it. He’s not sure what emotions or ideas the image represents. But he likes it. It’s cool. He thinks it’s cool.

“Yes,” he says again.

Ignis nods. “Then let’s look at another one,” he says.

~

He looks at images with Ignis and Arcis for an hour. He learns some things, but mostly he just appreciates the images. He appreciates some of them more than others. The images are made by different humans – called artists – and it soon becomes clear that the different humans produce different kinds of images. They use different collections of colours and arrange shapes in different ways. He uses the mathematical element to analyse each image, and he stores the data, even though he doesn’t understand it yet. The more images he analyses, the more he begins to see patterns. But although some patterns are clear from the mathematical characteristics of the image, others are more difficult to quantify. But he sees them anyway, and he tries to remember them, even though it’s more difficult to store non-mathematical data. He thinks – there’s something there. Maybe many things. Maybe if he appreciates enough images, he’ll discover what those things are. He wonders if he could recreate any of the images using the phone. He thinks it would be difficult. The images don’t represent real objects, so images of real objects would be inadequate. But maybe he could make an image of real objects that had similar colours. But the images the phone makes aren’t adequate representations of real objects either. There’s a lot to think about.

He doesn’t think about what Ignis said about there being no MT units twenty-five years ago. Every time his mind drifts in that direction, he redirects it towards something that requires significant resources, like deriving equations for the shapes in the images. He wants to understand what Ignis told him, but – not yet. Because if he tries to understand it now, it will make him feel bad, and he doesn’t want to feel bad. He wants to look at the images. He wants to do school. It’s been a long time since he’s done school.

After one hour, Art and Art Appreciation is over. The next block of school is Physical Education. Gladio takes him to the room where his close-combat capabilities were tested, and he performs a number of physical activities, such as running on the treadmill and rope climbing. It’s been a long time since he’s performed much physical activity. It’s more difficult than usual. And his hair falls into his eyes even though he keeps tucking it behind his ears. It’s inconvenient.

“Out of shape, huh?” says Gladio.

He looks down at himself. He appears to be the same shape as he usually is. So – it’s a figure of speech. He wonders if there’s a book that lists and explains all the figures of speech, like Royal Lucian Dictionary.

“You should tie your hair back,” Gladio says. He tilts his head on one side. “Guess it’s still a little too short for the full ponytail.”

He frowns. His hair isn’t too short. It’s too long. Cor said he needs a haircut. “I need a haircut,” he says.

Gladio grins. “Well, you’re not gonna get one in the next five minutes, so let’s get that heart pumping.”

~

After lunch, he sees Dr Fortis. It’s listed on the schedule: Psychology Appointment Clementia Fortis. But Ignis tells him the schedule will need to be changed, because he needs to see Dr Fortis more often now. It’s good. Sometimes it’s difficult seeing Dr Fortis, but she always explains things and it’s worth it even if it’s difficult. The last few times he’s seen her, she’s come to the blue room. But he’s not in the blue room any more, so this time he goes to another room. It’s not the room where he saw her before, with the wide desk and the images on the walls. The room is higher up, and much smaller, with a lower ceiling. But the walls are light yellow and the sun shines in. There’s a lot more light than in the other room. And the chairs are smaller, but they’re lighter colours, too, and they’re still comfortable.

“Prompto,” Dr Fortis says when he comes in. “I’m so happy to see you. Please, sit down.”

He sits down. He looks around the room. He wonders why she’s in a different room now.

“Ah – I asked the King’s Shield if I could see you somewhere less – formal,” Dr Fortis says. “There’s something a little unnerving about all those dead kings observing us from the paintings, don’t you think?”

Paintings was the word Ignis used for images made of coloured paste. He thinks about what Dr Fortis said. She understood his question even though he didn’t ask it. She can’t read his thoughts, but she doesn’t need to, because she knows them anyway. So she knew he was thinking about the other room, with the images of people on the walls. The images weren’t photographs. So they were paintings. Painting of dead kings. So they represented supreme commanders who are now dead. He thinks about what Ignis said, about what happened in the past. Then he stops thinking about it, because he doesn’t have enough contextual data and it makes him feel sick.

“Prompto?” Dr Fortis asks.

He redirects his attention to her. “Yes,” he says. “There were dead kings.”

She smiles. “Indeed there were. Now, there’s something I want to talk to you about today, but before I do, I wondered if you had anything you wanted to discuss?”

He considers. A lot of things have happened since he saw her, even though it’s only been two days. He saw the ducks and the moon. He learned how to give food to birds. He learned about abstract art, and about paintings. He ranks all the things he’s experienced in the last two days in relation to how much he wants Dr Fortis to explain them, and there’s one that clearly exceeds all the others.

“I attempted to say a joke,” he says. “But Cor was angry and then he said I shouldn’t say any more jokes. So I misunderstood. I don’t understand why people laugh.”

Dr Fortis raises her eyebrows. Then she smiles. “I see,” she says. “Why don’t you tell me what your joke was?”

“I said that I shut down my heart,” he says. “It wasn’t true. But it was obvious that it wasn’t true. If I shut down my heart, I would die. And I wasn’t dead. But – Cor thought it was true. I didn’t think he would think it was true, but he did. And he didn’t laugh.”

“I see.” She writes something down. “Why did you think he would laugh?”

“Because it was a joke,” he says. “Noctis told me that humans laugh when people say jokes. And I wanted him to laugh.”

Dr Fortis taps her pen against her lips and looks at him. She looks like she’s thinking. “Did Prince Noctis tell you what a joke was?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “It’s when you say something that isn’t true, and it’s funny. But I don’t think it’s everything that isn’t true, because some things that aren’t true are lies. So I thought if I said something that obviously wasn’t true, Cor would know, so it wouldn’t be a lie. So it would be a joke. And then he would laugh.”

Dr Fortis looks at him for a moment more. Then she smiles. “What an interesting process of reasoning,” she says. “Did Noctis tell you what funny means?”

“It’s when you say something and people laugh,” he says. “People laugh when I say things sometimes, but I don’t know the pattern. I need more contextual data.”

“Because you want to make people laugh,” Dr Fortis says.

“Yes,” he says.

“Why do you want to make people laugh?” Dr Fortis asks.

He thinks for a moment. “Because – people laugh when they’re happy. And I want people to be happy. So I want to make people happy.”

Dr Fortis’s smile widens. “That’s very kind of you,” she says.

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” He’s not sure what she means. But he doesn’t want to ask, because he wants her to explain about jokes, not about kind.

“Well, I’m afraid you’ve hit on a rather complicated subject,” Dr Fortis says. “Humour – that is, what makes people laugh – is something that has been studied a great deal. The first thing you need to know is that Prince Noctis’s explanation was incomplete. Or – perhaps not incomplete. But in saying that a joke needs to be funny, he didn’t provide you with the tools for identifying what things might be jokes and what might not be.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes. Noctis sucks at explaining.”

Dr Fortis laughs. He stares at her. She laughed. Noctis laughed when he said that, too. So – it’s a joke? Because – it isn’t true? It’s true that Noctis’s explanations don’t always make sense, but maybe – he doesn’t suck at explaining. Maybe he’s misunderstood what sucks means. Maybe--

“I imagine you’re wondering why I laughed?” Dr Fortis says.

Maybe she can read his thoughts. Can she? She says she can’t, but sometimes he thinks maybe she can.

“Yes,” he says.

Dr Fortis nods. “In this particular case, it was because what you said was unexpected for a number of reasons,” she says. “Here’s one reason: I’m used to you speaking in a particular way, a way that we might characterise as formal, although that’s not a complete description. The word sucks – used in the particular way you used it – is very informal. It’s characteristic of a certain type of speech – the type used by Prince Noctis, for example, and other boys his age – like yourself. It is exactly the kind of speech that I would expect from you if you had grown up here in Insomnia rather than in the facility. So if you had had that kind of life, I wouldn’t have laughed. Well – no, let’s not get into that. But because I know you and how you speak, it was – both incongruent to hear you use such an informal word, and delightful because it’s how I might expect a young man your age to speak. That combination of incongruence and delightfulness made me laugh.”

Dr Fortis said a lot of things, all in a row, so he has to think about what she said. He runs over it carefully in his mind, testing the links between the statements.

“It wasn’t because what I said wasn’t true?” he asks.

“No,” Dr Fortis says. “Sometimes we derive humour from things because they aren’t true, but those circumstances are quite specific. In this particular case, in fact, it was the opposite: part of the reason what you said was funny was because it was true, although I’d prefer it if you didn’t tell Prince Noctis that I said that.”

“Oh.” He frowns. He’s still thinking about what she said about sucks, but now she’s said something else. “So jokes are things that are true and things that aren’t true?”

“Well, now, I’ve got a little ahead of us here,” Dr Fortis says. “Hm. I don’t want to overwhelm you with explanations. You see, humour is really quite complicated. But – let’s see. It’s a very common phenomenon for people of our culture to avoid directly telling people their opinions, especially when those opinions are negative. And you – my discussions with you thus far have led me to the belief that you also prefer to avoid saying anything bad about anyone.”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s not possible for MT units to think bad things about humans.”

Dr Fortis looks at him in silence. And he thinks – oh. It’s not true. Because he said Noctis sucks at explaining. So – it’s not true. He wants it to be true because – how can an MT unit think a bad thing about a human? Humans are humans and MT units are MT units. Humans are superior. MT units are objects. He – feels confused. But he doesn’t want to think about it now. He wants to understand jokes, so he can make Cor laugh.

“I don’t think bad things about humans,” he says. He thinks – maybe that’s a better statement. Maybe it’s more true. Even though sometimes he does think bad things about humans.

“Well, perhaps you don’t,” Dr Fortis says. “You are a very generous-hearted young man. But then you see my point – that to hear you say that Noctis sucks at explaining was, once again, incongruent. It was unexpected, both because it’s unusual for people in general to express such blunt negative opinions and because it’s unusual for you specifically to do so.” She smiles. “And that was also delightful.”

“Oh,” he says. He thinks about what she’s said: that what he said was funny because it was incongruent. It was incongruent both because of the word he used and because of the thing he said. There’s a lot to consider, but once he’s thought about it carefully, he can’t find any gaps in the logic. If he accepts the premise that unexpected things are funny, then the reason Dr Fortis laughed is clear. And he needs to look up delightful in Royal Lucian Dictionary.

“How do I know what words are funny?” he asks. He’s learned a lot of new words since he came here. He knows they can’t all be funny because people don’t laugh when he uses most of them.

“That’s a very good question,” Dr Fortis says. “I suppose there must be lists out there somewhere, but I think it would be more interesting and useful for you to learn through observation.”

“Oh,” he says. “How can I do that?”

“I think I’ll give you an assignment,” Dr Fortis says. “I want you to listen carefully when Prince Noctis talks to you and see which words he uses that you don’t usually use. And then I want – hm, I want you to listen to Ignis as well and see if he uses the same words. If Prince Noctis uses a particular word and Ignis doesn’t, then it most likely belongs to those words that we might expect a teenage boy to use – informal words.”

“Oh,” he says. Yes. Noctis is between thirteen and nineteen years old, so he uses different words and he thinks it’s bad to talk about feelings. But Ignis is at least twenty-five years old so he doesn’t use those words. But – Cor is also older than nineteen years old. He thinks so, anyway. “What if Cor uses them?”

“Well, language is a rather fluid thing,” Dr Fortis says. “There are some words which only Noctis will use, and other words which he might use that Cor and Arcis and Gladio might also use. All of those words are likely to be informal. But Ignis speaks in a very – hm, particular way. I mean to say, he speaks very formally. So it’s his speech you should pay attention to so that you can understand the difference.”

He nods. “I understand,” he says. “And then – if I say an informal word, it’s a joke?”

Dr Fortis smiles and shakes her head. “No,” she says. “But it may well make people laugh. And it is likely to make them happy.”

Yes. Because it’ll be unexpected, and unexpected things make people laugh, and laughing makes people happy. Although he thinks Cor didn’t expect him to say he’d shut down his heart, so he still doesn’t understand jokes.

“This is an extensive topic,” Dr Fortis says. “I think, rather than trying to cover all aspects of it now, it might be worthwhile giving you a second assignment to explore it in your own time, and then we can discuss it further. What do you think?”

“Yes,” he says. He likes assignments. He waits for the assignment.

“Well, let’s think,” Dr Fortis says. “Hm. How about this? When you notice someone laughing over the next two days, I want you to think about what happened immediately before they laughed, and write it down if you’re in a position where you can. If you think you understand why they laughed, write that down, too, but if not, that’s perfectly all right. Does that sound like something you’d be comfortable with?”

“Yes,” he says. It’s a good idea. If he makes systematic observations, maybe he’ll be able to understand the pattern. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” Dr Fortis says. “Now, what about the assignment I gave you before? Did you think about whether the MT unit you saw in your dreams might be a representation of yourself?”

“Yes,” he says. “I don’t think it is. It’s a different MT unit.”

“I see.” Dr Fortis writes something down. “Why do you think that?”

“Because it’s a good MT unit,” he says. “It has orders to kill me and it carries them out. And it behaves correctly. I’m not--” He stops. He knows what he should say, but if he says it, then – if he says it, then--

Dr Fortis waits. Then she smiles. “If you’re not comfortable with telling me something, you don’t have to,” she says. “Remember the ground rules.”

Yes. The rules are that he doesn’t have to answer questions but he’s not permitted to lie. So he doesn’t have to say it. But – he can say things to Dr Fortis. He says things to her and she’s never angry. That’s one of the rules as well. And she won’t tell anyone else. The rules mean that he can tell her. Even if he can’t tell anyone else, he can tell her.

“I’m – not a good MT unit any more,” he says. The words get stuck in his throat, but he pushes them out. “I – don’t behave appropriately. And I – I would feel bad if I had to kill an MT unit. But the MT unit in the dreams doesn’t feel bad. So it isn’t me.”

Dr Fortis writes for a moment. Then she reads what she’s written. “Why might you have to kill an MT unit?” she asks.

“If someone ordered me to,” he says. “If Cor ordered me to.”

“Would you carry out the order?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “But – I would feel bad.”

Dr Fortis sits and looks at him for a long moment. She’s not smiling now. But she looks calm.

“If Cor ordered you to kill a human, would you do it?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. Cor is his commanding – Cor is his dad. So he has to carry out his orders.

“What if someone else ordered you to kill a human – or to kill an MT unit?” she asks.

He considers this. “I would ask Cor if the order is correct,” he says. “And if it was correct, I would carry out the order.”

Dr Fortis nods. “And – would you feel bad if you had to kill a human?” she asks.

“I – don’t know,” he says. He thinks about humans. He thinks if Cor ordered him to kill a human he didn’t know, he would feel bad. Then he thinks about if Cor ordered him to kill a human he knows. If Cor ordered him to kill Noctis. He feels – suddenly sick. “I would feel bad if I had to kill Noctis,” he says.

Dr Fortis’s eyes widen, and she glances around the room. She looks – less calm than usual. But he’s not really thinking about the way she looks. He’s thinking about if Cor ordered him to kill Noctis. He’s not sure – he’s not sure he could kill Noctis. But then he would be in dereliction of duty. Then what would happen to him? He doesn’t know. Something bad. But – but maybe he – but maybe he would have to be in dereliction of duty. Because otherwise he would have to kill Noctis. His throat starts to feel smaller than usual. It’s hard to breathe. He tries to breathe, but – it’s hard to breathe. There’s a chime in his ears. And he feels – bad.

He hears Dr Fortis saying his name. She sounds like she’s far away. Someone’s touching him. Someone’s talking. But he can’t hear the words. He just hears the chime. Everything feels loud in his head. Loud and white and bright. He’s – malfunctioning. Everything is malfunctioning. His body. His mind. Everything is wrong.

But someone is talking. He hears the voice. He tries to listen. It sounds calm. He listens. He doesn’t hear the words. But he hears the voice. He follows the voice, back through the chime and the loud whiteness. And he’s sitting on the floor. Dr Fortis is sitting on the floor, too. She looks calm. She’s holding his hands. She’s talking. He can’t hear what she’s saying. He squeezes her hands. He can feel them. They’re the only thing that feels real. She won’t tell anyone. She won’t tell anyone.

“I don’t think I could kill Noctis,” he whispers. He’s crying. His voice sounds cracked and strange.

Dr Fortis stops talking. She smiles at him. “I’m glad to hear that,” she says.

It’s not what he expected. It would be dereliction of duty. She shouldn’t be glad. But she said she was glad.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he whispers. She’s not supposed to tell anyone. It’s in the rules.

“Of course not,” Dr Fortis says. “But Prompto, I think everyone you know would be delighted to hear that you care so much about Prince Noctis.”

“No,” he says. “No. Don’t tell anyone. It’s a malfunction.”

Dr Fortis is still smiling, but there’s something different about the smile now. “Prompto. Can I hug you?” she asks.

He swallows. He nods. She leans forward and hugs him. He hugs back. He clings to her. He feels like she’s the only thing that’s real. She won’t tell anyone. But he told her, and now she knows. And she said – she was glad--

She holds onto him for a long time. Eventually, he stops crying. Then she lifts him up and into the chair. She brings him water. He drinks the water. His face feels hot and swollen. And he feels – empty and strange. He told her. He told her that he might disobey orders. That he would disobey orders. And she was glad. He doesn’t understand.

She doesn’t say anything else. She just sits and holds his hand. He holds the water in one hand and her hand in the other. He thinks if she lets go of him, he might just sink through the floor and disappear. He knows that that doesn’t make sense. It isn’t physically possible. But he’s afraid anyway.

Then there’s a beep. Dr Fortis pulls her phone out and looks at it. Then she puts it to her ear. She doesn’t let go of his hand.

“Hello? Yes, Ignis, I do apologise. We’ve had a rather – difficult session. Yes, I can bring him down to you, but I think he might need a quiet afternoon. No, nothing to worry about. Then I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

She puts the phone away, then she turns to him. “Prompto, it’s time for you to go back now,” she says. “But I want you to know that if you need to talk to me at any point, you can call me. If I’m unable to answer immediately, leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Do you understand?”

He swallows. “Yes,” he says. It’s hard to talk. Not physically, but somehow – it feels difficult, like the words are heavy.

“Good.” Dr Fortis stands up. He stands as well. She walks with him to the door, and through the door. She doesn’t let go of his hand. The daytime silent one looks surprised, but he doesn’t say anything. He just follows as they walk down the corridor and go up in the elevator. He knows he’s walking because he can see it happening, but he feels like his body belongs to someone else. They walk down another corridor, and then they reach Ignis’s apartment. Dr Fortis knocks on the door, and they go in.

Ignis is sitting at the table. He stands up. He looks worried. “Prompto,” he says. “You look – tired.”

Yes. He’s tired. He feels tired. He sits on the couch. He feels like he’s sinking. But – he told her, and she was glad. She said everyone would be glad. He feels like he’s sinking. Everyone includes Cor. Cor would have given the order. But Cor would be glad.

“Why don’t you lie down?” Ignis says from somewhere very high above him.

He lies down. Ignis ordered him to lie down, so he lies down. He’s an MT unit. MT units follow orders. It’s what MT units exist to do. It’s the only thing MT units exist to do. An MT unit that can’t follow orders is worse than useless.

But she said she was glad.

His eyes are closed. Someone puts something soft under his head. There’s something warm covering his body. She said she was glad. And he-- And he--

And he sinks.

Notes:

For every existential crisis, Prompto gets a free hug! Now how's that for an excellent deal?

Chapter 60

Notes:

Thank you all so much for all the kind comments! It really makes me happy to read them and also occasionally steal ideas from them ;) Also, if you know Japanese, the very talented Ellemina has translated the first part of PWS here, so go read and enjoy! And I hope you enjoy this new chapter, as well ♥

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Cor is calling him.

“Kid,” Cor says. He sounds far away. He’s not dreaming; everything’s just – dark and quiet and warm. It’s good. He doesn’t want to wake up. If he wakes up, it won’t be quiet any more. He thinks he’ll feel bad if he wakes up. He can’t remember why.

Cor’s calling him, but he doesn’t wake up.

~

He’s asleep.

Or – he’s awake? No, he’s not awake. But he’s not completely asleep. He can hear some things. He feels like he’s floating in a warm, soft darkness. And he can hear Cor’s voice. He likes to hear Cor’s voice. He’s glad Cor is there, somewhere, outside the darkness.

“—anything else?”

“Just that it wasn’t anything we should be worried about – something good, in fact.”

That’s another voice. Not Cor. It’s Ignis. He likes Ignis, too.

“Yeah?” Now it’s Cor again. “Not sure sleeping like the dead is what I consider good.”

“Perhaps—”

Then the darkness wraps around him again, and he’s asleep.

~

The next time he’s aware of anything except darkness and quiet, someone’s touching him.

“OK, kiddo, we can’t have you taking up space on Ignis’s couch all night,” says Cor, somewhere near his ear.

“Sir, lifting like that’s not safe for your back.” A new voice. Arcis.

“Who says?”

“New health and safety instructions, sir.”

“Yeah? Whose orders?”

A brief silence.

“Um – yours, sir.”

Another silence. A sigh.

“Fine,” Cor says. Then there’s a hand on his shoulder. “Kid. Kiddo. I know you don’t wanna, but just wake up enough to help me out, OK?”

Cor ordered him to wake up. So he opens his eyes. He doesn’t open them all the way. Everything looks blurred. He’s not wearing the glasses or the fake eyes.

“Here.” Cor is crouched by the couch, facing away. He holds his arms out by his sides. “Get on.”

He understands: Cor wants him to get on his back. He tries to move, but he feels – so tired. So comfortable. He doesn’t want to move. He tries to tell Cor he doesn’t want to, but it comes out in a mumbled slur of sounds.

“All right, let’s get you moving,” Arcis says from somewhere behind him. Then there are hands on him, pulling him upright. Even though he doesn’t want to move, it doesn’t feel bad: the hands are warm and they don’t squeeze too hard. He sits, and when the hands push him he shuffles forward on the couch and half-leans, half-falls forward onto Cor’s back.

He feels Cor laugh quietly, the sound rumbling through his chest where he’s pressed up against Cor’s back. Good. He made Cor laugh. He likes making Cor laugh. He holds onto Cor and presses his face into Cor’s shoulder. He’s aware that Cor’s standing up, and then that they’re moving.

Then he’s asleep again.

~

The next time he half-wakes up, someone’s laying him down onto something soft. It’s dark. The person is Cor. He knows it’s Cor because – he doesn’t know how he knows, he just does. Then Cor tries to let go of him, but he doesn’t want Cor to let him go. Cor is warm and solid and he feels better when Cor is here. So he doesn’t let go of Cor.

“Sh, kid,” Cor murmurs, pulling his hands away. “Just sleep. I’ll be right outside.”

He wants to tell Cor not to leave, but he’s asleep and he can’t make his mouth work. Then something warm covers him and he feels Cor put his mouth on his head. And then it’s – all right. Cor put his mouth on his head, so now he can sleep, and Cor will be right outside, and he can sleep.

He sleeps.

~

When he wakes up, it’s light. The curtains are open and the light is falling into the room. It’s shaped like a trapezoid, and even though he knows it’s not solid, it almost looks like it could be. It’s bright, and inside the light are tiny sparkling objects that drift slowly around. He wishes his vision wasn’t malfunctioning so he could look at them more closely. They’re very bright.

He lies still for a while and looks at the light and doesn’t think about anything. He feels warm and comfortable. But there’s something wrong as well. He’s not sure what’s wrong. He doesn’t want to think about the thing that’s wrong, because if he thinks about it then he’ll remember what it is, and then he won’t feel comfortable any more. But once he starts thinking about how he doesn’t want to think about it, he can’t stop accidentally thinking about it. And then he remembers: Dr Fortis said everyone would be pleased if he disobeyed Cor’s orders. That Cor would be pleased. And he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand.

His stomach starts to feel sour. He wants – to have not remembered about what Dr Fortis said. Because now he doesn’t feel pleasant like he did before. Now he feels bad.

The door opens quietly and Cor puts his head through the gap. He sees him and then opens the door wide and comes all the way through.

“You’re awake,” Cor says. “You OK?”

“Yes,” he says.

Cor comes and sits on the bed. He puts a hand on his forehead. “You slept for eighteen hours, kiddo,” he says. “You sure you’re feeling all right?”

He doesn’t feel all right. He feels sick because of what Dr Fortis said. But his body is functioning within appropriate parameters. Apart from his vision and his statistical element.

“Yes,” he says, siting up in the bed.

Cor sits back. He looks at him for a long moment.

“The Doc said something happened, but it was something good,” he says. “That we shouldn’t be worried. So – I’m gonna try and take her advice, because fuck knows she’s way smarter than I am, but I – kinda can’t help worrying about you anyway.”

He doesn’t understand why Dr Fortis would say something good happened. He doesn’t think anything good happened. Usually he understands Dr Fortis – she explains things and he understands. But now he doesn’t understand.

Cor’s frowning at him. “You don’t look like you think something good happened,” he says.

He blinks. How did Cor know what he was thinking? Usually it’s only Dr Fortis who knows what he’s thinking. He wonders if Cor is learning things from Dr Fortis.

Cor nods. “OK, well – OK,” he says. “Listen.” Then he doesn’t say anything, but that’s expected. It’s expected, and so it makes him feel a little better, because Cor’s behaving the way he always does. So he just waits, and after a long pause, Cor says, “Listen. You gotta have – your privacy, right? I get that. So – but – if you want to tell me whatever it is, you know you can. I won’t be mad. I’ll – I mean, we could discuss it and maybe I can see if I can help. I want to help, if I can. But I get that I’m not – always the best guy to discuss this shit with, so – and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. But you can.”

He swallows. He doesn’t want to tell Cor about what happened. Because – it would be dereliction of duty. If Cor ordered him to kill someone and he didn’t do it, it would be dereliction of duty. He doesn’t want Cor to think he would hesitate even for a second. But he-- But even though he doesn’t want to tell Cor, he does want to tell Cor. Because Dr Fortis said Cor would be pleased. And if he tells Cor and Cor’s pleased, then he won’t have to feel like this any more. And Cor said he wouldn’t be mad. But how could Cor not be mad? But – but Cor said he wouldn’t, and-- And--

“What are the penalties for disobeying orders?” he asks, and then his breath catches in his throat and he thinks – he might vomit--

“Huh?” Cor says. Then he shakes his head. “You mean, for you?”

He tries to speak, but his throat is too dry. He nods instead.

“There are no penalties,” Cor says. “I mean – kid, there are no orders. You’re not a soldier, so no-one gives you orders.”

He stares at Cor. “You give me orders,” he says.

“No.” Cor shakes his head again. “No, listen, that’s not – listen, we’ve been through this. That’s not what a dad does. Soldiers get orders. Kids get asked to do stuff. It’s different.”

Oh. It’s different. He’s a kid. He doesn’t really know what kid means, but it’s different from soldier and it’s appropriate for kids to have chocobo bags. But he doesn’t understand what the difference is between being ordered and being asked.

“What are the penalties for – not doing things when you ask me to do them?” he asks.

“Uh—” Cor rubs the back of his head. “I mean – OK so – OK, kiddo, so sometimes I’m gonna ask you to do stuff that’s really important for your safety. So if you don’t do those things – you could get hurt. I wouldn’t hurt you, but you could get hurt because of the situation. But if I ask you to do something and you don’t want to do it or you don’t understand why I asked you to do it, you can ask and I’ll explain. And we can – I guess we can discuss it. Like, negotiate or – uh. It’s not like an order from your CO, is what I’m saying.”

“Oh.” He didn’t understand everything Cor was saying, but he understood more than he usually does when Cor talks like this. So that’s good. But there was no answer to the question. He thinks about what Cor said and he can’t find the answer.

“What are the penalties for not doing things if we’ve discussed them?” he asks.

“There are no--” Cor starts, then he rubs a hand over his face. “Shit, I guess – uh. OK, so I guess in some situations, like if you were – like if we’d discussed it and I’d explained that it was important that you do it and you still didn’t because you were – um, being a pain in the ass, then – uh--” He sits and frowns at nothing for a few seconds. “I guess I could – ground you?”

He swallows. “What does ground you mean?” he asks. It sounds like a correction.

“It’d mean that – you wouldn’t be able to have free time with Noctis,” Cor says. “For – I don’t know, maybe a week if it was something bad. And, uh, I guess – I could take away your phone, too. I mean, don’t hold me to that, though, kid, because I really gotta get some advice before we finalise this shit.”

He stares at Cor. He wouldn’t be able to have free time with Noctis. That would be bad – it would make him feel bad. But it’s – nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not a correction. He would feel bad, but then after a week the punishment would be over and – there wouldn’t be anything else? It doesn’t make any sense. He swallows. His throat is still dry.

“If you-- If you ordered me to kill someone and I didn’t do it, how long would you take away the phone for?” he asks. He feels like he’s stepping off the roof of a tall building, but he – he needs to know. He needs to know so that he can understand.

“Huh?” Cor looks confused, and a little angry. “The fuck, kid, I’m not gonna order you to kill anyone. Who’s been saying shit like this to you?”

He shakes his head. Dr Fortis asked him what he would do if Cor ordered him to kill someone, but he doesn’t want to tell Cor that because Cor’s angry. He doesn’t want Cor to be angry with Dr Fortis. Maybe then he wouldn’t be permitted to see Dr Fortis again.

Cor’s staring at him, but then his face gets less angry. He sighs and rubs a hand over his head. “OK, my bad. That’s not the point, anyway. The point is – I would never order you to kill anyone. Or ask you to. Killing people’s for soldiers. You’re not a soldier, you’re a kid. You’re not supposed to be killing anyone.”

He frowns at Cor. He’s an MT unit. MT units are designed to kill. It’s what he was made for. It’s the purpose of his existence. But Cor says – he’s not supposed to kill anyone. If he’s not supposed to kill anyone, then what is the purpose of his existence? But then he remembers. He remembers that Cor already told him what his purpose is.

“I’m supposed to have a life,” he says. Having a life is going to the park and playing King’s Knight with Noctis. And now he knows that having a life doesn’t involve killing anyone.

Cor smiles a little. “You got it. So listen – listen. If anyone tells you to kill someone or – or to hurt someone, you tell me straight away, OK? You don’t have to do stuff like that. So don’t listen to anyone who’s telling you stuff like that. Just – tell me, OK? Call me straight away.”

“Yes,” he says. Then he frowns. “Is it an order, or are you asking me?”

“I’m asking you,” Cor says. He doesn’t hesitate. He says it straight away. “We can talk about it if you want.”

He shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about it. It feels good. Cor said he would never order him to kill anyone, so Cor would never order him to kill Noctis. So he wouldn’t have to disobey orders, because Cor wouldn’t order that. And no-one else can order it because if anyone does, his orders are to call Cor and then Cor will countermand the order. Except – it’s not an order. Because dads don’t give orders. It’s strange, because MT units are designed to kill and to take orders. He thinks if he thinks about it too hard, it won’t make sense. So he doesn’t think about it too hard. He just – feels good.

“Is that what you were looking so worried about when I came in?” Cor says. “You thought I might tell you to kill someone?”

“Yes,” he says. But that’s not right, not exactly. “No. I didn’t think you would, but I thought if you did, then I would feel bad and maybe I would feel too bad to do it. But then I would be--” His breath gets stuck in his throat again, but – but he needs to explain to Cor so that – so that he can feel better, because Cor will make him feel better. “I would be in – in dereliction of duty.”

Cor stares at him for a long moment. “Fuck, kid,” he mutters. “Hey, OK, listen. You can’t be in dereliction of duty. That’s a soldier thing. You don’t have a duty to be in dereliction of. So just – don’t worry about shit like that, OK? You got enough shit going on in your life without worrying about things that don’t even apply to you.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” But then he thinks – oh. It doesn’t apply. He didn’t know dereliction of duty only applied to soldiers. He thought it applied to MT units. But maybe – a kid is a special type of MT unit where normal rules don’t apply? It would explain a lot. But--

“And hey, listen – that’s great,” Cor says. “That’s really great, that you don’t want to hurt anyone. You’re a good kid.”

He stares at Cor. It’s exactly what Dr Fortis said. That Cor would be pleased, even though it would be going against his orders. His – his request. Except that he wouldn’t request that anyway, because – because--

“Ah, crap,” Cor says, and then suddenly he’s holding him. “Kid, come on, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry, come on.”

He holds Cor. He pushes his face into Cor’s shoulder. “It’s because I’m happy,” he says. “Sometimes when I’m happy I cry. I don’t know why.”

Cor laughs quietly. The sound rumbles into his cheeks and nose where they’re pressed against Cor. “Shit, kid,” Cor says. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says.

~

He goes to school. It’s good. Ignis says the schedule is different because he wasn’t well the day before, so now it’s music appreciation and culinary arts in the morning instead of history and science. He doesn’t know why his malfunctioning the day before means there are different types of school today, but he likes music appreciation and culinary arts, so it’s good. In the afternoon he goes with Gladio to the room with the treadmill and runs for a long time. It’s tiring, but he feels good.

In the afternoon, there’s a box on the schedule labelled Free time: Noctis Lucis Caelum. Even though he knows it’s not scheduled until later, when Noctis gets back from school, he keeps looking at it every now and then in the day. Even though he enjoys all the types of school, he thinks he’ll enjoy the free time most of all. So sometimes he wishes the other types of school would go by faster so that the free time can come. It doesn’t make sense, because he enjoys the other types of school, and anyway, time moves at a uniform pace. But he still feels that way.

And then, in the afternoon, the door opens and Noctis comes in. Ignis is there, working at his laptop, and he’s sitting on the couch looking at abstract images. But he stops looking at them when Noctis comes in and looks at Noctis instead.

“Hey,” Noctis says. He drops his bag on the floor and slumps down on the couch. “Ugh,” he mutters, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.

He waits. After a moment or two, Noctis sits up. He leans forward and grabs the schedule.

“It’s free time in twelve minutes,” he says.

“Yep.” Noctis drops the schedule back on the table. “So what are we doing?”

He looks around. “We’re sitting on the couch,” he says. “Ignis is working at his laptop.”

Noctis snorts. It’s a laugh, a kind of laugh. He’ll have to remember it to tell Dr Fortis. He doesn’t know why Noctis laughed.

“Yeah, genius, but what are we gonna do with the free time?” Noctis says.

“Oh.” He doesn’t know what they’re going to do with the free time. “You’re supposed to give instructions for the free time.”

“Huh?” Noctis frowns at him. “How come?”

He points at the schedule. “Your name is in the box. The person whose name is in the box gives the instructions for that block of time. It’s school.”

Ignis looks up from the laptop, but doesn’t say anything. Noctis stares at him. “Uh, no,” he says. “Free time isn’t school.”

He looks at the schedule. Free time is on the schedule and the schedule is school. But Noctis said it isn’t school. He looks at Noctis.

“It’s – we hang out. Like, we’re bros,” Noctis says.

“Yes,” he says. “We’re bros.”

“Right,” Noctis says. “So it’s not me – teaching you or what the fuck ever, it’s us doing stuff together. So we both decide what we’re gonna do.”

“Oh.” He didn’t understand that free time was different from other parts of school. Or – no, he knew it was different. It’s more enjoyable. Or it’s enjoyable in a different way. But it’s different in other ways, too. “I don’t know what we should do.” He thinks about what it would be pleasant to do. He thinks it would be good to go outside. Maybe he would see some birds and plants.

“Huh.” Noctis sits and looks at him for a moment. “Wanna – play cards?”

He swallows. “My statistical element is malfunctioning.”

“Yeah?” Noctis frowns. “How come?”

“I don’t know,” he says. Several parts of his body are malfunctioning. He doesn’t know why.

“So – that means you can’t do math any more?” Noctis asks.

“No,” he says. “My mathematical element is still functioning. But my statistical element is malfunctioning.” He suddenly wonders if his mathematical element really is still functioning. His statistical element stopped functioning and he didn’t notice until he tried to use it. So maybe his other elements could stop functioning and he wouldn’t notice. The thought makes his heart feel like it’s thumping in his throat. He tries to engage the mathematical element. It engages. He feels relieved. But he also feels bad.

“Shit, that sucks,” Noctis says.

“Yes,” he says. “It sucks.” Cor says it’s good, but he doesn’t think it’s good. He thinks it sucks. And Noctis thinks so, too. Cor’s probably right because he’s Cor, but somehow he thinks Noctis is right even though Noctis disagreed with Cor so Noctis is probably wrong.

“So then we’ll – go mooch around the mall, I guess,” Noctis says. He starts to get to his feet, but then the door opens and Cor comes in with Gladio.

“Hey, kid,” Cor says. “Free time?”

“We’re going to the mall,” Noctis says. “We’re taking Lacertus and Ignis, so there’s enough Crownsguard.”

“Ah, Noct, I have a meeting,” Ignis says.

Noctis frowns at him. “You didn’t say.”

“I would have, if you’d actually asked me if I would come,” Ignis says.

“Ugh,” says Noctis.

“It’s all good, I’ll babysit the babies,” Gladio says. Noctis scowls at him, and Gladio smiles widely. He doesn’t understand the reactions, or what babysit means, but he remembers that Noctis told him that babies are small ducks. He's not sure why Gladio is referring to small ducks. Maybe when they mooch around the mall there will be small ducks there. That would be good. He likes ducks. And Gladio will come with them, which is good, too. He looks at Cor. Is Cor coming with them? He hopes Cor is coming with them.

Cor sees him looking and sighs. “I don’t know, kid,” he says. “There’s still the whole situation with the tabloids.”

“Dad said you were refusing to make a statement,” Gladio says.

Cor scowls. “Refusing to make the one he wants me to, anyway.”

He doesn’t understand what they’re talking about. He wonders if he should ask if Cor’s coming with them.

“Anyway, it’s not a big deal,” Gladio’s saying. “Everyone’s just gotta be low-key. Just – give me a sec.”

Then he leaves. Noctis drops back onto the couch.

“Well, if Specs and Cor can’t come then we need Gladio,” he says.

Oh. Cor isn’t coming. That makes him feel – less good. He still feels good, because Noctis will still be there, but he wishes Cor would come as well. He brushes his hair out of his eyes and tries to feel good instead of feeling bad.

Noctis pulls his phone out. He wonders if they’re going to play. But Noctis doesn’t invite him to play, he just looks at his phone. So now he’s not sure if they’re going out any more. Maybe Noctis doesn’t want to go out any more. Maybe Noctis feels bad now, too, because Cor’s not coming.

Then the door opens again and Gladio comes back in. He’s carrying a number of items of clothing. He throws one at him.

“Put that on, squirt,” he says. “We’re going incognito mode.”

He catches the item. It’s a jacket with a hood and a zip, like the one Noctis usually wears but grey and with a few loose threads. He puts it on. It’s much too large for him. Noctis laughs. He wonders why Noctis laughed.

“You’re gonna get lost in that thing,” Noctis says. “You can have one of mine.”

“No dice,” Gladio says. “Too much black’ll attract as much attention as too many colours.” He holds out another item to Cor. “You too, sir.”

Cor sighs, but he takes his jacket off and puts on the jacket that Gladio gives him. He puts up the hood. “C’mere, kid,” he says.

He stands up and goes over to Cor. The jacket comes down almost to his knees. Cor puts the hood up and he can barely see out.

“Uh, you guys look like you’re about to go rob a convenience store,” Noctis says.

Gladio snorts. “OK, squirt, hood down,” he says. Then he digs in his pocket and holds out an item. “Wear this instead.”

He takes the item. It’s a dark blue circle of fabric, warm and soft. It takes him a moment to understand that it’s designed to go on his head. He puts it on. Gladio reaches out and adjusts it, tucking some of his hair inside it.

“Better,” he says. “And it’ll keep your hair out of your face, too. OK, Iggy, what’s the verdict?”

He turns to look at Ignis. Ignis is observing them with a thoughtful expression on his face. Then he nods.

“Adequate,” he says.

Good. He’s performing adequately. And the hat will keep the hair out of his face.

“So you’re gonna come?” Noctis says.

Cor hesitates for a moment, then puts an arm round him.

“Guess so,” he says.

Oh. Cor’s going to come. That’s good. That’s better.

“So let’s go,” Noctis says, getting up.

So they go.

~

The mall is a very large building with a very large flat area outside with hundreds of cars. The building looks like a facility, except it has windows. But when they go inside, it’s more like the building they went to before where he ate soup and had milkshake for the first time. Maybe that was a mall, too. There are wide walkways on seven different levels, escalators, and windows in the roof that fill the interior with light. The walkways are lined with large glass windows, and on the other side of each window are different types of items. He looks at the items as they pass. There are many different kinds. One category of window has statues of humans wearing different clothes. Another category has screens showing many different images. One window has images of donuts. It’s all interesting.

In the middle of the building, on the ground floor, is a pool of water surrounded by plants. He looks at the plants as they go past. He wonders if the building also has birds inside it, or just plants. The water in the pool is clear and he doesn’t see any fish, but there are many small flat circular metal objects. He wonders what the purpose of the metal objects is and why there are so many in the pool.

Then they pass by an area in the middle of the main walkway with low partitions around it. There are shelves on top of the partitions and the shelves have items all over them. A person sits in the middle of the partitions, looking at her phone. But he’s not looking at the person. He’s looking at an image that’s propped up on the shelf. It’s an image of a person with hair that’s about the same length as his, but instead of hanging down in her eyes like his does, her hair is gathered in a number of small clumps held in place by small objects. The clumps are regularly spaced over her head. It’s mathematically pleasing. And the small objects are brightly-coloured. He thinks if he had objects like that, he could solve the problem of his hair being too long. He looks, and he sees that there’s a bowl in front of the image with many similar-looking objects in it. They’re all different colours, and when he looks closely, he sees that they have a hinge in the middle. So they’re devices for holding hair in place. It’s a good idea. And he likes the colours.

Noctis comes to stand beside him, and Gladio and Cor follow.

“What’re you looking at?” Noctis asks.

He points. “My hair’s too long,” he says. He knows it’s too long because Cor and Gladio have both told him. “Is this an appropriate solution?”

“Uh, no,” says Noctis, but at the same time Gladio says, “Sure, why not?”

He looks at Noctis. Noctis looks angry. Then he looks at Gladio. Gladio looks pleased. He’s not sure how to interpret the reactions. So he looks at Cor.

Cor leans forward and takes one of the objects out of the bowl. When he lifts it up, it sparkles in the light. It’s pleasing. Cor inspects it, looks at him, looks at the image, and then shrugs.

“If that’s what you want, kiddo,” he says.

“Cor, come on--” Noctis starts, but Cor raises a hand.

“Kid gets what he wants,” he says. “You want these?”

He looks at the bowl. He wonders if all of the objects sparkle like the one Cor picked up.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods. “Pick out as many as you want.”

He looks at Noctis. Cor said he could have the objects, but he doesn’t want Noctis to be angry. Noctis scowls at him, but then Gladio shoves him and Noctis suddenly seems to shake himself.

“I mean – sure,” he says. “You’re gonna look like a dork, though.”

He nods. “Yes,” he says. He doesn’t know what a dork is.

Noctis stares at him, then laughs. He thinks he should start writing down when Noctis laughs, or he won’t remember all of the times. So far, he hasn’t understood why Noctis laughed any of the times.

“Fine, which ones, then?” Noctis says. He starts rummaging through the bowl. “This one’s cool.” He looks up at the person who’s looking at her phone. “You got any black ones?”

“Sorry, honey,” the person says. “Only bright colours.”

Noctis sighs then looks at him. “Guess that’s what you like anyway, right?”

“Yes,” he says. Then he remembers that he’s supposed to be imitating Noctis’ speech. “Yeah.”

“Cool,” Noctis says. “Then let’s get some.”

“Cool,” he says.

Gladio laughs. Noctis looks up at him. He looks surprised. Then he laughs and punches his arm. Dr Fortis was correct. Imitating Noctis’ speech makes people laugh. It’s good. Now he knows.

~

He gets two of each of the different colours of device. Noctis holds his cupped hands out so that he has somewhere to put each device as he finds it. When he’s finished finding two of each, Noctis looks into his cupped hands.

“Don’t you have a favourite colour?” Noctis asks.

“What does favourite mean?” he says.

“It’s the one you like best,” Noctis says.

He looks at the devices in Noctis’s hands. “I like all the colours.”

“Yeah, but is there one you like even more than the others?” Noctis asks.

He considers. There are four colours: red, blue, purple and green. “Green,” he says. The green devices make him think of leaves on plants.

“So we’ll get some more green ones,” Noctis says. “So you’ll have plenty.”

“Oh,” he says. Yes: it makes sense to get more of the ones he likes most. His favourite ones. “Cool.” He picks out two more green ones.

“How many you got, honey?” the person on the other side of the partition says.

“Uh – ten,” says Noctis.

The person smiles at him. “Gonna be the belle of the ball,” she says. “That’s five crowns.”

He didn’t understand anything the person said to him, but she’s smiling, so he smiles, too. Then Cor steps forward and holds out his flat oblong piece of plastic. It’s like when they got the chocobo bag. Cor gave the person in the room with the bags the same piece of plastic. There’s a connection. He wants to understand better.

“Better not put them in yet, though,” Gladio says, hitting him on the back. “Seeing as how we’re keeping a low profile.”

“Cool,” he says. Gladio laughs and hits him again.

“I’ll help you out with them later,” he says. “There’s a technique to it.”

Then Noctis puts the devices in his pocket, and they keep walking. He remembers that what they’re doing is called mooching around at the mall. The building is the mall, so then this activity of walking around looking at things is mooching around. Sometimes one of them stops and wants to look at a specific thing more closely. Then usually they all stop, and sometimes they go inside the room where the thing is located, and sometimes they take the thing with them when they leave. But mostly they just look. Cor mutters some things sometimes, but they’re too quiet for him to hear. At one point, he goes away for a while, but then he comes back. And there’s a place where he sees an instructional poster like the one he saw before, with the word LEONIS in large capital letters, but Noctis pulls him away before he can look at it properly.

Then they walk past a window that has books in it. He stops and stares. The whole window is full of books. And he can see that the room on the other side of the window is full of books as well. A whole room full of books.

“You want to go in?” Cor says beside him.

“Yeah,” he says. “Please.”

So they go in. At first, he doesn’t know what to do. There are so many books, and he doesn’t know how to look at them. And most of the names of the books don’t seem to have clear meanings. He stands and looks at a shelf, but he doesn’t understand what he’s looking at. But he knows that there are books with clear names, because he’s seen some before. So he has to find the books with the clear names among all the others. He rephrases the problem as if it were a combat issue and sends a query to his combat strategic element. His combat strategic element returns an appropriate plan of action. It creates a database, and he starts scanning along the shelves, starting in the top right. The combat strategic element records all the names in the database. He scans as quickly as the element can record, and soon he’s looked at all the books on one wall. Then he looks at the other walls as well. Then he considers. What kind of things does he want to find out about? He wants to find out about a lot of things, but he needs to prioritise for higher efficiency. So he prioritises. Then he sends a query to the database for the word joke.

The combat strategic element informs him that there are three books in the room with the word or word-fragment joke in the name: A Kid’s Bumper Book of Jokes, My Life is a Joke Nemor Idoneus, and Why are Jokes Funny? The Psychology of Humour Marx Marcis. He requests the locations of all three and goes to each one.

The first book explains on the cover that it contains over 1000 jokes guaranteed to make your parents laugh! Parents is the same as dad and mom. So then this is exactly what he wants: a list of jokes that will make Cor laugh. He feels – bubbly. He feels excited. He didn’t know there were books with lists of jokes. It’s exactly what he wanted.

He holds the book in his hands and goes to the second location. The purpose of the second book is obscure. It reminds him of some of the books that Gladio and Ignis have shown him, that are just descriptions of people doing things. He remembers that Gladio told him the people might not even exist and might never have done the things that are described. It seems very strange. And he can’t see the connection with jokes. So he puts the book back. As he’s putting it back, he hears another person in the room say the word Leonis, and he sharpens his hearing to listen.

“You really think Leonis could be compromised?” the person’s saying.

“I mean, if he’s been fucking a Niff this whole time,” says another person. “They’re saying the kid’s a teenager, right? So, what, fifteen years having an affair with the enemy?”

“That’s tabloid bullshit,” says the first person.

“Where there’s smoke there’s--” says the second person, and then the two people leave the room and he remembers that he’s not supposed to listen to conversations if people don’t know he’s listening. So he turns his hearing back down and goes to find the third book.

The third book isn’t a list of jokes. But the first part of the title is Why are Jokes Funny?, and he wants to know the answer to the question, so even though he doesn’t understand the second part of the title, he thinks it might be an important book. He takes it off the shelf and starts looking at it, but then Cor comes over to him.

“Found something you want?” he asks.

He holds out the two books. Cor looks at them and raises his eyebrows. Then he shrugs. “OK,” he says. “I’ll be right back.” Then he goes over to a raised counter at the end of the room where a person’s standing. He takes out the oblong piece of plastic. It’s the same as before. Every time they take something from a room, Cor gives a person the oblong piece of plastic. He wonders if it’s some kind of requisition cataloguing device.

“Finally,” Noctis says. He was sitting in a big soft chair, looking half asleep, but now he gets up. “You looked at every single book in the whole store, huh?”

“Yeah,” he says. He needed to look at all of the books so he could create a comprehensive database.

“Nerd,” Noctis says, bumping his shoulder.

Cor comes back over with a bag. He gives the bag to him. It has the two books in it. He’s excited. Now he’ll be able to make Cor laugh. And he can make Cor laugh by imitating Noctis, too. It’s good. Now he has multiple ways to make Cor laugh.

“OK, kids, time to go home,” Cor says,

“Ugh, that sucks,” he says.

Everyone turns to stare at him. Then Gladio bursts out laughing. Noct laughs too, more quietly. But Cor just smiles. He looks happy, but he doesn’t laugh. He does rub his head, though, so that’s good. But he doesn’t laugh.

“Gonna make a real boy out of you yet,” Gladio says.

“Yes,” he says, even though he’s not sure what Gladio means. Then they leave the room. They go back down the escalator and out into the area with the cars.

“What about the ducks?” he says to Noctis when they’re almost at the car.

“Huh?” Noctis says. “What ducks?”

“Gladio said there would be ducks,” he says. He likes ducks. He likes the way they walk and the noises they make.

“Gladio, did you tell Prompto there’d be ducks at the mall?” Noctis says.

“Huh?” Gladio glances back and frowns. “Nope.”

“They don’t have ducks at the mall,” Noctis says.

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t understand what Gladio said correctly. Maybe it was a figure of speech.

“Hey.” Cor slows down and falls back to walk with him and Noctis. “You wanna stop in at the park on the way home and say hi to the ducks?”

“Yes,” he says. “Cool.”

Cor smiles and puts an arm round him.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” he says.

Notes:

OK, so the plot's moving at a glacial pace, but Prompto got sparkly hairclips and didn't have a single existential crisis this chapter except maybe a tiny one, so it's all good :D

Chapter 61

Notes:

Thank you so much to everyone who dropped a line on the last chapter! ♥ I'm glad you guys enjoyed it and hope you're all doing well and that you enjoy this one, too!

Chapter Text

That night, he looks at the new books.

First, he looks at A Kid’s Bumper Book of Jokes. He doesn’t know what bumper means, but he knows he’s a kid and he wants to learn about jokes, so the book is exactly what he wanted. He reads the first page. It’s similar to the first page in other books he’s read since leaving the facility: there’s instructions about the appropriate circumstances in which the book can be copied or distributed. He doesn’t think that information is a joke, since it appears in all books. But then the next page is set out in an interesting way. There are a series of pairs of two lines, the upper line in normal type and the lower line in italics. In between each set of two lines is a blank space. He reads the first set of two lines.

How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.

Giant means large, but he doesn’t know what a giant is. He doesn’t understand the set of two lines, but maybe it’s because he doesn’t know what a giant is. He can look it up in Royal Lucian Dictionary later. For now, he moves on to the next set of two lines.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.

There are no words he doesn’t understand in this set of two lines, but he still doesn’t understand. He understands the question, although it’s a strange one, because trees are very large. He doesn’t think it’s likely that a tree could fit in your hand. But the second line seems to be an answer to the question in the first line. So then – maybe there are small trees called palm trees? There are small ducks called babies, so maybe there are small versions of many organisms. It would make sense that a tree that was small enough to fit in your hand would be called a palm tree. Presumably it’s about the size of the palm of a hand. He looks at his own hand. He would like to hold a palm tree. It would be interesting. Then he turns his attention back to the book.

What did the banana say to the cat?
Bananas can’t talk.

He’s starting to understand the structure of the book. The first line asks a question and the second line answers it. And – the questions are a little strange. For example, it’s strange to ask a question about what a banana says, because bananas can’t talk. But then the answer points that out. He tries to understand what the purpose is of asking the questions. Noctis said a joke was something that wasn’t true that was funny. But Dr Fortis said that wasn’t a complete answer, and she said that things that were incongruous or unexpected were also funny. So then – maybe that’s why the questions are so strange. They’re jokes because they’re unexpected or strange, and that makes them funny. He reads several more pairs of lines, but there are a lot of words he doesn’t know the meaning of, so he can’t check if his understanding is correct. Then he comes to another one where he knows all the words.

Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.

He didn’t know fish were smart or that they lived in schools, but he does know Noctis likes to look at fish, and he knows that Noctis goes to school every day and that school is a place to learn about things. So the question was unexpected, but the answer makes sense and it also explains why Noctis goes to school every day. So then he thinks he understands jokes.

“Cor,” he says.

Cor looks up from the papers he’s reading. “Hm?”

He looks back at the book to make sure he doesn’t make any mistakes. “Why did the girl take a ladder to school?”

Cor frowns. Arcis looks over and smiles slightly.

“I don’t know, why?” Cor says.

He blinks. He expected Cor to laugh, because it’s a joke. It’s funny because it’s a strange question. But Cor didn’t laugh. And he didn’t answer correctly. So now he’s not sure if he understands jokes any more.

“Kid?” Cor says. “Are you gonna tell me the punchline?”

He doesn’t know what punchline means. He looks at Arcis.

“What’s the second part of the joke?” Arcis asks.

Oh. He looks back down at the book. Both the question and the answer are part of the joke. He thought the person he asked would produce the answer. But Cor’s waiting for him to produce the answer. So he doesn’t understand after all.

“Because she wanted to go to high school,” he says. He looks up at Cor. Cor doesn’t laugh. He looks like he might be in pain. Arcis is grinning but not laughing. But maybe it didn’t work because he didn’t realise he was supposed to say the answer as well. So now he knows he has to do that, maybe Cor will laugh next time.

“What invention lets you look right through a wall? A window,” he says.

Cor doesn’t laugh. Instead, he frowns. “You didn’t wait for me to say I don’t know,” he says.

“Oh,” he says.

“You’re supposed to ask the first part, wait for the person to say I don’t know, then tell them the answer,” says Arcis. “That’s how jokes work.”

“Oh,” he says. It’s good. Now he has a better understanding. He’s glad Arcis gave him instructions, although he thinks that if it’s already clear that the person listening to the joke doesn’t know the answer, then it would be a more efficient communication if the joke were rephrased as a single sentence: a window lets you look through a wall. Then all the information would be conveyed at once and there would be no need for the person listening to the joke to explain that they don’t know the answer. But maybe there’s a reason for it to be a question and an answer. The question is the part that’s funny because of its incongruence, so maybe if the question were rephrased so that the answer was included, it wouldn’t be funny any more. Then it wouldn’t be a joke. So now he thinks maybe he understands the structure.

“What was a more useful invention than the first telephone?” he asks.

“I don’t know, kid,” Cor says.

“The second telephone,” he says.

Arcis laughs. Cor looks like he’s in pain again, then produces something that might be a half-smile. He feels – bad. He thought he would make Cor laugh, but Cor didn’t laugh. Arcis laughed a little, but Cor didn’t laugh. So he feels bad. It’s a particular kind of bad feeling – not scared. He’s felt it before, but he doesn’t know what it’s called.

“You’re supposed to laugh, sir,” Arcis says to Cor.

Cor scrubs a hand over his face. “Sorry. Just--” He shakes his head. “You got any funnier ones, kid?”

He looks down at the book. Then he looks up at Cor. “I don’t know which ones are funnier and which ones are less funny,” he says. “It’s not specified. They should all be funny.” He holds up the book so Cor can see the title. “They’re jokes.” He wonders if the book has been named incorrectly.

Cor nods slowly. “Do you get why they’re funny?”

“Yes,” he says. “It’s because the question is incongruous.”

Cor raises an eyebrow. “Incongruous?” he says.

“Yes,” he says. “For example, the question what was a more useful invention than the first telephone. Telephones are very useful, but there are lots of other useful inventions, like automatic rifles and dropships and MT units and milkshake. And how useful an invention is depends on contextual data, but the question doesn’t provide any contextual data. So it’s a question that doesn’t make sense without any further contextual data. So it’s incongruous.”

Cor stares at him. Arcis is staring at him, too. He wonders if he should explain more. Maybe he can explain another example. Maybe Cor doesn’t know much about jokes and that’s why he didn’t laugh. Cor doesn’t laugh often, but he does laugh sometimes so he must have some understanding of jokes.

“That’s not why it’s funny,” Cor says at last.

He looks back at the book, then at Cor. “Oh,” he says. So he didn’t understand. He thought he understood, but he didn’t understand.

“It’s a pretty cool answer, though,” Arcis says. “Your version is better.”

“Oh,” he says again. He wonders if Cor thinks his version is better, as well. Maybe if Cor considered his version, he would laugh. Maybe if he says another joke, now that Cor knows his version, he’ll laugh.

“What’s white and can’t climb trees?” he asks.

Arcis suddenly thrusts his hand up into the air and looks like he’s about to jump off the couch. “Oh, I know this one, this is my sister’s favourite!” he says. “A fridge!” Then he laughs. He looks happy.

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.” Arcis didn’t follow the prescribed form. But he did laugh. And he looks happy. And Cor doesn’t look unhappy. But Cor didn’t laugh. “You didn’t laugh,” he says to Cor.

Cor sighs. “Sorry, kid. Jokes just aren’t really – my thing.”

“What is your thing?” he asks. He didn’t realise that jokes were more some people’s thing than other people’s thing. He’s not sure what my thing means, but Cor doesn’t seem to enjoy the jokes, so maybe it’s that.

“I don’t know.” Cor shrugs. “Guess I’m just – kind of a serious guy.” Then he raises an eyebrow. “What about you? I don’t see you giggling all over the place.”

“What does giggling mean?” he asks.

“It’s like laughing,” Arcis says. Then he laughs, but in a high-pitched, rapid way that makes him sound strange. “Like that.”

Oh. There are words for different kinds of laughing. That’s good. He thinks laughing is important, because it means people are happy, so it makes sense that there would be ways to describe it in detail. But Cor’s still looking at him. Cor said he hadn’t seen him laughing. It’s true. MT units don’t laugh.

“MT units don’t laugh,” he says.

Now Cor raises both eyebrows. “Bullshit,” he says.

He doesn’t know what bullshit means, although he’s heard it before, but Cor doesn’t look pleased. He looks at Arcis, then back at Cor.

“Maybe that’s what they told you back in that fucking hellhole,” Cor says, “but I know you can laugh.”

“Yes,” he says. “I can laugh.” He thinks he’s physically capable of laughing, though he’s never tried. “But MT units don’t laugh.”

Cor frowns, but Arcis speaks before he can.

“Why not?” Arcis asks. He doesn’t look happy any more.

He doesn’t know why not. If an MT unit had laughed in the facility, it would have been evidence of a serious malfunction, and the MT unit would have been corrected. So that suggests that the design of MT units precludes laughter. Laughter has no useful purpose for MT units. Laughter suggests happiness, and MT units don’t feel happiness. And laughter is loud, so it would interfere with stealth. And laughter happens when people talk to each other about strange things and ask each other incongruous questions, but MT units don’t talk to each other except to discuss orders.

“Laughter has no useful purpose for MT units,” he says. Laughter is useful in humans because it indicates their emotions. Human emotions can be difficult to understand, so laughter helps. Also, it’s pleasant to listen to. It makes him feel good to listen to people laughing, so he thinks that it probably makes humans feel good, too. But none of those things are relevant for MT units.

“Uh, what?” Cor says. “It doesn’t need a useful purpose. It makes you feel good.”

He stares at Cor. It hadn’t occurred to him that laughter makes humans feel good. He thought that feeling good produced laughter. And he thought that listening to other people laugh might make humans feel good, but he hadn’t thought that maybe the human who is laughing might also feel good. It’s a positive feedback loop. He thinks it could easily get out of control. But it doesn’t seem to, so maybe humans have some kind of dampening mechanism that kicks in when they start feeling too good.

Cor doesn’t laugh very often. Maybe that means he doesn’t feel good very often. It makes his chest hurt to think that. He wants Cor to laugh more. But he doesn’t know how to make him laugh.

But Cor’s still looking at him like he’s expecting him to respond. He needs to respond.

“MT units aren’t supposed to feel good,” he says.

Cor’s face twists. He looks like he’s in pain. He puts his hand up to his nose. So it was an inadequate response. He tries to think what was inadequate about it so he can correct it. Then Arcis speaks.

“Hey, kiddo,” Arcis says. He’s smiling. “Come sit by me.” He pats the seat of the couch next to him.

He stands up and goes to the couch. He keeps glancing at Cor. Cor looked like that before he fell over and got sick. He doesn’t want Cor to get sick again.

He sits by Arcis. Arcis grins at him. Then, without warning, he lunges forward and shoves his fingers under his arms. Since Arcis is a human and not an enemy combatant, his defence mechanisms go into ready mode but don’t engage. His combat tactical element begins analysing Arcis’s attack style and capabilities. Arcis seems to be trying to touch his armpits, so he raises his arms so that Arcis will have easier access. Arcis digs his fingers into his armpits, still grinning. Then his grin fades a little. He stops moving his fingers back and forth and sits back.

“Tough nut to crack, huh?” he says.

His combat tactical element informs him that Arcis is no longer combat-ready and now would be an advantageous time to eliminate him. He forcibly disengages his combat tactical element. It sends a twinge of pain through the back of his skull.

“I don’t understand,” he says. He wonders if he should lower his arms.

“Never mind,” Arcis says. He rubs the back of his head. He’s still smiling, but he doesn’t look as pleased, now.

“Read your book, kid,” Cor says. He looks tired and angry. It makes him feel bad, the same way he felt bad before. He wanted to make Cor happy, but now Cor looks even less happy than he did before. He stands up and goes back to where he was sitting before. He picks up A Kid’s Bumper Book of Jokes, but then he puts it down again. He doesn’t want to read more jokes now. So he picks up the other book instead. Why are Jokes Funny? The Psychology of Humour Marx Marcis . He looks at the title and thinks he should have looked at this book first. Maybe this book will explain so that he can correctly identify the jokes that will make Cor laugh.

He reads the page about copying and distribution, then the list of contents. Then he starts reading the main part of the text.

Humour and laughter are fundamental human experiences, occurring in all cultures and virtually all individuals throughout the world...

He reads. After a while, his heart starts to speed up. The book explains that humour is anything related to things that are funny and things that are funny are things that make people laugh. Then it explains that much humour derives from things that are incongruous or unexpected. It’s like the explanation Dr Fortis gave – like the explanation Noctis gave – except it’s more detailed and it’s in a book. And he realises: the book is a book of explanations of why humans behave the way they do. His heart is pounding now. He’d given up hoping for a book of explanations. Humans don’t seem to know why they behave the way they do, except Dr Fortis, and sometimes even she finds it difficult to explain. He didn’t understand why humans didn’t write instruction manuals if they found everything so confusing. But – here it is. It’s not an instruction manual exactly, but it’s an explanation, and if he can understand then maybe he can derive instructions by himself. He didn’t know. He didn’t know.

His thoughts are interrupted by a quiet noise, and he looks down to see that he’s been clutching the page he’s holding so tightly that he’s torn it. He gasps a breath. He’s torn the book. It’s the only book he’s found with instructions and he’s torn it. Cor will be angry. No – no. Cor won’t be angry. But it makes him feel – bad. He feels bad. And he feels dizzy. And he feels – like maybe he’s about to float away.

“Kid?”

There’s a hand on his shoulder. It’s heavy and warm. It stops him from floating away and pushes him back into the soft chair. He looks up and sees Cor frowning down at him.

“You OK?” Cor asks. “Why are you breathing so fast?”

He tries to speak, but his tongue feels thick and strange. There’s an ache in the back of his skull. He holds up the book. Cor takes it.

“Tore it, huh?” he says. “Arcis, see if you can find some tape.”

There’s movement beyond Cor – something blurry, everything except Cor is blurry – then Cor looks back at him. “You know I’m not mad, right? It’s just a book.”

“It’s instructions,” he gasps out.

“Huh?” Cor closes the book and looks at the front. “Oh. Psychology, huh? Might be a bit advanced for you, kiddo.”

He shakes his head. It’s not advanced. It’s – basic. It’s the basic things that humans know, except he doesn’t know them. It’s the contextual data. He reaches for it, suddenly afraid Cor might take it away. But Cor just hands it back, looking worried.

“Seriously,” he says, putting both hands on his shoulders now and bending down so their faces are level. “Come on. Deep breaths, kid. You’re gonna make yourself pass out.”

He holds the book tightly in his hands and feels Cor’s hands on his shoulders. He feels – dizzy, and excited, and scared, and – something else. And his head hurts. His heart is beating too fast. He feels Cor’s hands on his shoulders. He tries to breathe more deeply. It’s hard. His chest feels small and big at the same time. It’s strange.

Slowly, his heart starts to slow down. Cor doesn’t say anything, but he stays there, hands on his shoulders, looking into his face. It’s good. Cor’s hands feel warm and heavy. He holds the book. And his heart slows down. Cor looks at him. He looks at him and looks at him. And when his heart is only beating a little too fast, he nods and then he hugs him.

“Good,” he murmurs. “Good kid.”

“Sir?”

Cor stops hugging him and straightens up. He looks up to see Arcis standing with a roll of tape in his hand. He looks worried. “What was that?” he asks.

Cor shakes his head. He still has a hand on his shoulder. He looks at him. “Why’d you get upset? Was it just because you tore the page?”

“I wasn’t upset,” he says. It comes out in a whisper. He can’t explain. Cor doesn’t understand. To him, everything in the book is things he already knows. It’s contextual data. But he’s wanted contextual data for so long. “I was – excited,” he says. It’s not quite true. He was upset as well, about tearing the page. He’s not sure. It’s confusing.

Cor nods. He rubs his head. “Lot of excitement today,” he says. “Maybe it’s time for bed.”

He goes to bed. But it’s still early and he’s not tired. He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. There are lots of thoughts in his head, but none of them are finished. He tries to catch them, but they swirl round and round, so it’s like he’s thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. It feels – loud. He tries closing his eyes, but then it’s even louder. So he opens them again.

After a while, he picks up the phone so he can check the time. It’s 22.13. There’s a message from Noctis on the phone.

Noctis: You still up?

He unlocks the phone and answers.

Prompto: Yes. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: What’d you do this evening?

Prompto: I said some jokes and read a book. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: Yeah?

Noctis: What jokes?

Prompto: Why did the girl bring a ladder to school? 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: …

Noctis: Thrill me

He’s not sure what thrill me means, but Arcis said that the structure requires Noctis to say I don’t know at this point, so he thinks thrill me must mean I don’t know.

Prompto: Because she wanted to go to high school. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: 😑

Noctis: Dude

Noctis: That’s fucking terrible

He frowns at the phone. He doesn’t know why Noctis said the joke was terrible. It’s from a book. It should be adequate. Why would they include it in a book if it was inadequate?

Noctis: Where’d you get that from?

Prompto: A Kid’s Bumper Book of Jokes. 🙂 ❤️

Prompto: There are over 1000 jokes guaranteed to make your parents laugh. 🙂❤️

He frowns again. Guaranteed means that something will definitely happen. But Cor is his parent and Cor didn’t laugh. So – maybe he said the joke incorrectly?

Noctis: Over 1000? Shit

Noctis: Gonna be a long year

Noctis: Wait

Noctis: Wait wait

Noctis: Did you tell Cor that joke?

Prompto: Yes. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: …

Noctis: 🤩

Noctis: Did he laugh?

Prompto: No. 🙂 🙁 ❤️

Prompto: The book said it would make him laugh, but he didn’t laugh. 🙂 🙁 ❤️

Noctis: Bud

Noctis: It’s OK

Noctis: You made me laugh

He stares at the phone.

Prompto: The joke made you laugh? 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: Not the joke exactly

Noctis: But I definitely laughed

Prompto: Oh. 🙂 ❤️

Prompto: Maybe if I say more jokes to Cor I’ll find one that will make him laugh. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: More jokes from your book?

Prompto: Yes. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: Yes, definitely do that

Noctis: I give that the royal seal of approval

Noctis: Make sure you do it when I’m there

Prompto: OK. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: Great

Noctis: Hey, I gotta go

Noctis: Night

Prompto: Good night 🙂 ❤️

He waits, but Noctis doesn’t send any more messages. So he puts the phone down. All his thoughts seem to have quietened down. It’s good. He closes his eyes.

He falls asleep.

~

He opens his eyes.

He’s standing in a river. It’s flowing up to his knees, the water clear in some places, foaming and white in others. Underneath the water are flat, smooth stones. The river is flowing fast, but it’s silent. Everything is silent. On the bank of the river there are trees. They’re moving in the breeze. But it’s silent.

“We’re running out of time,” says a voice.

He turns. There’s another MT unit. The other MT unit is wearing a green shirt with yellow chocobos on it. The other MT unit’s hair is too long. The other MT unit has blue eyes.

“We’re running out of time,” the other MT unit says.

“Dr Fortis thinks you might be me,” he says. “But I don’t think you’re me.”

The other MT unit’s lip curls. “I’m not you. You’re so weak. I’m nothing like you.”

He nods. He doesn’t know why Dr Fortis thinks the other MT unit might be him. Even though it’s wearing his clothes.

The other MT unit takes a step closer. “Just get out of the way.”

He tries to move so he’s not in the other MT unit’s way. But when he takes a step sideways, the other MT unit does, too.

“I don’t know how to get out of the way,” he says.

The other MT unit reaches out for him, but then a hand grabs the other MT unit’s wrist.

“Tut. A little early for that, don’t you think?” says a voice. It’s a tall person with purple hair. Looking at him makes his head hurt. The one with purple hair is standing in the river, too, but the water flows around him so he doesn’t get wet. It looks strange.

The one with purple hair smiles down at him. Then a frown flickers across his face. He reaches out and puts a hand on his face. It hurts.

“Oh dear,” the one with purple hair says. “It seems we’re running out of time.”

“Kid?” says someone else, and then his body is shaking, and then he’s awake.

He’s awake. He’s awake and he’s not standing in a river. He’s standing in the apartment where he and Cor live now. It’s dark except for a lamp by the couch. He’s standing by the glass door that leads out onto the ledge, and Arcis is standing in front of him, holding him by the shoulders and looking worried.

“You with me?” Arcis says.

He blinks. “Yes,” he says.

Arcis nods. He runs a hand over his face and sighs. “Still sleepwalking, huh?”

He looks at the glass door. It’s raining. The rain makes a pattering sound on the glass. He was in bed when he fell asleep. Now he’s not in bed any more. His stomach twists. “Yes,” he says. It comes out very quiet.

Arcis nods again. He chews his lip. “Papa Bear’s out of it,” he says. “If I wake him – I don’t think he’s gonna be compos mentis, know what I’m saying?”

He shakes his head. Arcis laughs quietly and hugs him.

“I’m gonna come sit with you and make sure you don’t go anywhere else tonight, OK?” he says. “Then we can talk about it in the morning.”

“OK,” he whispers.

They go back to the room where he sleeps. Arcis sits by the bed. He lies down and closes his eyes.

It takes him a long time to get back to sleep.

~

The next time he wakes up, he’s alone and it’s morning. He lies in bed for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. He thinks that there’s something he should feel bad about, but he can’t remember what it is. Then he remembers: the dream. And the sleepwalking. He can’t remember everything about the dream – he thinks there was someone there other than the other MT unit, but every time he tries to think about who it was his head starts hurting – but he remembers the MT unit saying we’re running out of time. Time for what? He should have asked the other MT unit what it meant. But – it was just a dream. Dreams aren’t real. They’re just – weird crap in your brain. That’s what Cor says.

He gets up and washes himself. While he’s in the shower, he thinks about the sleepwalking. It’s a malfunction. Lots of parts of him are malfunctioning. More parts of him are malfunctioning all the time. He tries to engage his statistical element. But it doesn’t engage. Then he tests his other elements. He can still sharpen his hearing. His mathematical element is functioning appropriately. He tries to engage his combat tactical element and--

--there’s nothing. He swallows. His heart starts beating fast. His combat tactical element was functioning yesterday, when Arcis wanted to touch his armpits. He disengaged it, but it was functioning before that. But now--

He tries to engage it again. There’s a response, but the element only partly engages. He disengages and tries again. Then--

--there’s a sharp, stabbing pain in the back of his skull. The combat tactical element starts rapidly engaging and then disengaging without his input. Nonsensical results flood into his brain. His head hurts. It hurts. He can’t – see--

He’s on his knees in the shower. There’s water flowing over the back of his head. His vision is blurring in and out. The combat tactical element snaps on and off, every switch sending a spike of pain through his head. He tangles his fingers in his hair and pulls, trying to get a grip on something. He coughs. Black saliva drips into the drain. On. Off. On. Off. It hurts. It hurts. He needs to – disengage. He needs to disengage. He needs to focus.

He closes his eyes. He focuses. He forcibly disengages the combat tactical element.

He passes out.

~

When he wakes up, he’s lying on the floor of the shower. His head hurts, but it’s a dull ache now, not the sharp pain from before. The water’s running over him. It feels good.

He sits up. There’s black liquid mixed in with the water. He wipes the back of his hand across his mouth. It comes away smeared with blood. He coughs and spits. He runs his tongue around the inside of his mouth. He doesn’t think his tongue or mouth are injured. When he spits again, the saliva is clear.

He finishes washing himself. He doesn’t try to test his elements again. The combat tactical element is severely malfunctioning. But nobody here knows how to fix it. And he thinks if he tells Cor, Cor will think it’s a good thing. He doesn’t think it’s a good thing. Even though Cor is human and Cor is his dad so Cor must be right, he still doesn’t think it’s a good thing. He’s lost multiple elements now. He feels like parts of him are missing. It feels bad.

He’s crying, he realises. It doesn’t matter, because he’s in the shower, so the tears get washed away. So he lets himself cry for a minute or two. Then he stop. He turns off the shower. He dries himself off and gets dressed. His head hurts and he feels tired. His eyes feel swollen and sore. Everything feels bad.

Then he goes into the main room. Cor and Arcis are sitting at the table talking about something. They stop talking when he comes in. Cor looks angry. Arcis looks worried.

“How you feeling, kid?” Cor asks.

He feels tired. And his head hurts. Everything feels bad. “I feel adequate,” he says.

Cor nods. “Come eat something.”

He sits at the table. Cor puts a bowl of soup in front of him and he starts eating it. His stomach feels unpleasant. He doesn’t want to eat the soup. But Cor told him to.

Cor watches him while he eats. “Sleepwalking again, huh?” he says at last. He sounds tired.

He stares at the spoon in front of his face. But Cor knows all about the sleepwalking. He needs to tell Cor all about the sleepwalking so maybe they can find out what it is.

“Yes,” he says.

Cor nods and rubs a hand over his face. “Guess we need Fortis, then. Maybe Salus, too.”

“The Shield’s gonna want to know, sir,” Arcis says quietly.

Cor sighs. “Yeah, well. He can get in line.” He shakes his head, then rubs his face again and stares into his coffee. “This sucks,” he mutters.

He thinks about the sleepwalking, and the dream, and his combat tactical element. “Yeah,” he says. “It sucks.”

Cor snorts quietly and his face lightens a little. And he realises: it’s true. Dr Fortis told him if he imitated Noctis then people would laugh. Cor didn’t laugh at the jokes, but he did laugh when he imitated Noctis. He almost laughed. Noctis said he needs to say more jokes, but he thinks he needs to imitate Noctis more, as well. The Cor will laugh and that will make Cor feel better, and then that will make him feel better, too. Then everything will be better. So he needs to remember all the things Noctis says so that he can say them, too.

Cor looks at him. He’s not smiling, but he doesn’t look as bad as he did before. “OK, kiddo,” he says. “You know what we’re gonna do?”

“Thrill me,” he says.

Arcis chokes on the piece of toast he’s eating. Cor stares at him, mouth open in the middle of making a word. Arcis slaps him on the back, coughing and laughing at the same time. And Cor suddenly laughs. It’s a short laugh, but he smiles, too, wide and bright, and he laughed even though it wasn’t a joke.

“Fuck me, kid,” Cor says, reaching over the table to rub his head. “You really know how to lighten the mood.”

He sits up straighter. He doesn’t know what lighten the mood means, but he knows all the words and he thinks it must mean make people happier, because being unhappy feels heavy somehow and being happy feels light, even though that doesn’t make sense because emotions don’t have physical mass. So Cor said he knows how to make people happy. And even though he wants to know a lot more about how to make people happy, Cor still said it, and Cor’s his dad so it must be right.

“Got a good kid, here, sir,” Arcis says, still gasping a little from coughing.

Cor nods. “Don’t need to tell me that, Crownsguard.” Cor smiles across the table at him.

And he smiles back.

Chapter 62

Notes:

Friends, I bring good news! Not one, but two people have drawn beautiful art for this in the many, many centuries since I last updated it! ♥

Snoff made multiple lovely comics of various events in the fic. Make sure you scroll down to the replies for more comics! It's so cool to see which events they picked and to see them come to life!

And Kaxpha made some fabulous pictures of Prompto and his plants and his ridiculous outfits and his dad ♥ They're all beautiful, but in this moment I'm feeling a particular affection for Prompto's affection for his plants ♥♥♥

Thank you so much to the artists! Please give them some love! And thank you to everyone who dropped a line on the last chapter. I've been a little bit absent for a while, but coming back to such lovely comments meant a lot ♥

Chapter Text

Cor takes him to see the one with the white coat. She performs all the tests she always performs, then sighs.

“His reactions are a little more sluggish than usual,” she says. “Otherwise, I can’t see anything different.”

“Sluggish, huh?” Cor looks at him. “You tired, kiddo?”

Yes, he’s tired. He was awake for a long time in the night. And his head still hurts from when he passed out in the shower.

“Yeah,” he says.

Cor puts a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe take a nap before you see Doc Fortis.”

He takes a nap. When he wakes up, Dr Fortis is waiting for him.

“The Marshal tells me you went sleepwalking again last night,” she says.

“Yeah,” he says. “I sleepwalked to the ledge.” He points. “Then Arcis woke me up.”

Dr Fortis nods. “Do you remember anything else apart from Arcis waking you up?”

He tries to remember. “I had – a dream.” He knows he had a dream, but he can’t remember it. No, he can remember – the first part. But then if he tries to remember what happened after that, his head hurts.

“Can you tell me about the dream?” she asks.

“There was a river,” he says. “And another MT unit. It was very quiet.”

“Another MT unit?” Dr Fortis asks. “Did the MT unit look like you?”

“Yes,” he says. “But the other MT unit had blue eyes. So maybe – it wasn’t an MT unit.”

“Blue eyes?” Dr Fortis says. “Do all MT units have red eyes?”

“Yes,” he says.

“But the other – person in your dream looked like you?” she asks.

“It wasn’t a person,” he says. “It was an MT unit.” Even though it had blue eyes, he thinks it must have been an MT unit.

Dr Fortis looks at him for a second or two. “Other than blue eyes, what was the other MT unit like?” she asked.

He thinks about the dream, about standing in the river. It was beautiful, but strange. And the other MT unit. “It had long hair,” he says. “It was contravening regulations. And it was wearing a green shirt with yellow chocobos and – I can’t remember what kind of pants.”

“A green shirt with yellow chocobos?” Dr Fortis asks. “Don’t you have a shirt like that?”

He swallows. “No,” he says.

“Oh.” Dr Fortis taps her pen against her lips. “I thought I’d seen you wearing one.”

His palms are sweating a little. But – she won’t be angry. But he feels bad. “I – had one but I left it behind,” he says. “Cor gave it to me. I didn’t mean to leave it.”

“Left it behind where?” she asks.

“In the apartment where the one with the green jacket lives,” he says. “I wasn’t wearing it when I wasn’t in the apartment any more and I – didn’t want to go back.” He should have gone back to get the shirt. Cor gave him the shirt.

Dr Fortis nods. “That was the right thing to do. Cor wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger for a shirt.”

He blinks. “Oh,” he says. “I wasn’t in danger.” But she thinks Cor would think he did the right thing. So – he feels less bad.

“But this MT unit in your dream,” Dr Fortis says. “He was wearing the same shirt? Or a different one?”

“The same one,” he says.

“And his hair was long? Like yours?” she asks.

He touches his hair. He needs a haircut. That’s what Cor says. “Yes.”

“So he looked just like you when you’re wearing your contacts?” Dr Fortis says.

“All MT units look like me,” he says.

“Of course.” Dr Fortis puts down her paper and folds her hands. “However, my understanding was that the other MT units look like you in terms of their face and build and so on, but that they would wear some kind of – uniform and have short hair. Is that correct?”

He hesitates, but he doesn’t know why. It’s obviously correct. “Yes,” he says. He feels nervous. He doesn’t know why he feels nervous.

“So, then, this person in your dream looked just like you – specifically like you, the same clothes and hair, different from every other MT unit.”

He presses his palms against the sides of the chair. “It wasn’t a person, it was an MT unit,” he says. His voice comes out very quiet.

“How do you know it was an MT unit?” Dr Fortis asks.

He stares at her. He doesn’t understand the question. He feels nervous. “It was an MT unit,” he says.

Dr Fortis looks at him in silence. Then she picks up her paper. “Can you tell me anything else that happened in the dream?” she asks.

He swallows. He’s glad she stopped asking about the MT unit. It made him feel bad, though he doesn’t know why. “I talked to the MT unit. Then I tried to get out of the way, but I couldn’t. Then--” He stops. He tried to get out of the way, and then – something else happened. He’s sure something else happened. But when he tries to remember it, there’s – nothing. Not like nothing happened, but like there’s a space in his mind where the thing that happened should be. And his head hurts.

Dr Fortis is writing, but she looks up at him. “Then?” she says.

“I – woke up,” he says. “Arcis woke me up.” But it’s not correct. Something else happened. But the something else isn’t – there.

Dr Fortis nods. “What did you and the MT unit talk about?”

He rubs the side of his head. It hurts a lot, but the pain recedes when he stops trying to remember the thing that happened. “I – told it I didn’t think it was me. And it said it wasn’t me, because I was weak. It said it was nothing like me. And it told me to get out of the way. But when I tried to get out of the way, I couldn’t.”

Dr Fortis finishes writing, then looks at what she’s written. “When you talked about whether he was you – was that because of the conversation we had before?”

“Yeah,” he says.

“I’m glad you considered that further,” Dr Fortis says. “We never finished our last conversation about the issue. But let’s – hm.” She picks up her pen. “The– He said he wasn’t you because you’re weak?”

“Yes,” he says. “It was angry.”

Dr Fortis’s pen stops moving. She looks at him over her paper. “Angry?” she says.

“Yes,” he says.

Carefully, Dr Fortis puts her pen and paper to one side and folds her hands over her knee. “Prompto, forgive me if I’ve misunderstood something, but – I’m sure you’ve told me before that MT units don’t get angry.”

He opens his mouth. Then he closes it. It’s correct: MT units don’t get angry. It’s not permitted within their programming. “It was – malfunctioning,” he says at last. It must have been malfunctioning because – MT units don’t get angry.

“I see.” Dr Fortis looks at him for a moment. Then she opens the folder that’s next to her on the couch and leafs through the papers inside. After a few seconds, she stops. She pulls out the paper and looks at it. “Last time we talked about this, you told me you knew that the other MT unit in your dreams wasn’t you because it was functioning correctly and you believe that you are not – is that right?”

He starts to feel cold. His stomach hurts. He doesn’t really remember the conversation she’s talking about, but she has the records so it must be right. And it makes sense. Except it doesn’t make sense because the MT unit in his dream was malfunctioning.

“Prompto?” says Dr Fortis. Her voice sounds like it’s coming from a long way away. Then there’s a cool feeling on his lips. He blinks and sees she’s in front of him, pressing a glass of water against his lips. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I wasn’t sure if you would want me to touch you.”

He swallows and takes the glass of water. “Thank you,” he says. He drinks some water. She watches him, still standing up. He drinks some more water and puts the glass down. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I felt – strange.”

Dr Fortis nods and sits down, smoothing her skirt over her knees. She frowns for a few seconds. It’s strange. She doesn’t usually frown. Then she looks normal again.

“I’m sorry, Prompto, I should have handled that – differently,” she says. “I hope you don’t feel like I was trying to trap you.”

He doesn’t understand the question. There’s no trap that he can see. But she’s still talking.

“I just – would like to understand more about the MT unit in your dreams. I think there might be something there – perhaps it would help with the sleepwalking.”

He stares at her. “I don’t understand,” he says. “Cor told me dreams aren’t real.” If dreams aren’t real, then how can something that happened in his dream have anything to do with anything?

“Well, that’s – a better way to put it might be that dreams aren’t physical reality,” Dr Fortis says. “Dreams are like – your mind talking to itself. They’re generated by your mind, so although they’re not physically real, it can still be useful to think about what they might mean.”

He blinks. He hadn’t really thought before about where dreams come from, not since Cor told him they weren’t a malfunction. It’s strange and purposeless that humans see nonsensical hallucinations every time they sleep, but lots of things that humans do are strange and purposeless. But then-- “Do – dreams have a purpose?”

Dr Fortis smiles. “They certainly do. The mind is a very complicated place and while the conscious part is resting, the unconscious part is tidying up. That’s one of the reasons why we sleep.”

“Tidying up?” he says.

She nods. “If we didn’t sleep, things would get very messy indeed.”

He thinks about dreams. The dreams he remembers are mostly bad, but he did once have a dream where Cor was sitting on a giant fish. That doesn’t seem very tidy.

“Why do MT units sleep?” he asks. MT units don’t dream, so it can’t be so that their minds can tidy up. MT units are required to have ordered minds at all times.

Dr Fortis sits and looks at him for a long moment. “Because they’re human,” she says at last.

“No,” he says. “MT units are MT units.”

Dr Fortis sighs, then shuts her mouth halfway through sighing. She presses her lips together. Then she smiles.

“Well, I’m afraid that’s the only explanation I can give you,” she says.

It’s not an appropriate explanation. MT units are MT units and humans are humans. But he knows that Cor sometimes says that MT units are human, and Dr Fortis has said it before, too. He thought he’d explained clearly, but they don’t seem to understand, even though they don’t know anything about MT units and he knows a lot about MT units. But then – even though he knows more than them, they’re superior so he should listen to them. But they’re wrong, so – it’s confusing.

“Let’s leave that aside for now,” Dr Fortis says, and he nods. He feels relieved. It’s confusing and he doesn’t want to think about it. “Because dreams are the unconscious mind’s way of dealing with unresolved issues, sometimes when people dream about the same thing multiple times, it’s useful to consider whether there’s something there that needs to be addressed.”

“Oh,” he says.

“You regularly dream about this other MT unit, and he’s usually acting in an angry or threatening way towards you. Is that correct?” she asks.

“Yes,” he says. “Usually it’s trying to terminate me.”

Dr Fortis nods. “I’m sorry you have such bad dreams, Prompto.”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes. I don’t like dreams.”

“I hope one day they’ll be better,” Dr Fortis says. “But in the meantime, it seems to me that this other MT unit represents something your mind is trying to solve or address.”

“What thing?” he asks. The other MT unit is another MT unit. It hadn’t occurred to him that it represented anything. But he hadn’t thought about the idea that the dreams come from his own mind. It’s a strange idea. If the other MT unit comes from his own mind, why does it keep trying to terminate him?

“It’s possible that whatever it represents is also linked to the sleepwalking in some way,” Dr Fortis says. “At any rate, you’ve dreamed about the other MT unit on the same night as sleepwalking multiple times.” She taps her pen against her lips. “I’m glad that you tried to talk to him, but I wonder if a more controlled environment might work better? Meditation, for example?”

He stares at her. “I don’t understand.”

“Ah! I apologise, Prompto, I was thinking out loud,” she says. “Do you know what meditation is?”

He shakes his head.

“It’s a – technique, or a set of techniques, that allow a person to focus their mind and achieve clarity.”

He sits up a little. Achieving clarity – he’d like to achieve clarity. But then he remembers the engineers, the way that didn’t understand about the bad connection. “I’m already optimised for clarity and focus,” he says. “I don’t think my system can be improved with the technology you have available.” His palms are sweating a little – in the facility, an MT unit would be corrected for speaking to a human in that way. But that won’t happen here. He’s permitted to tell Dr Fortis what he thinks. And he doesn’t want another bad connection.

Dr Fortis smiles. “I didn’t mean a programming technique,” she says. “This isn’t something someone would do to you. It’s a technique you would use yourself.”

“Oh.” He isn’t sure what technique that he can perform himself could improve the balance of his system. “Will I receive training?”

“I’m afraid we don’t have time right now,” Dr Fortis says. “But I could send you some instructions for you to try before we next meet?

His heart suddenly starts beating faster. “Instructions?” he says.

Dr Fortis’s smile widens a little. “I’ll send them to your phone,” she says. “Is that all right?”

He nods as rapidly as he can so that she won’t change her mind. “Yes,” he says. “Please send me the instructions.”

Dr Fortis laughs a little. “I promise. Now, I believe you have school?”

School. He has school. And he’ll have instructions about optimising the clarity of his system. Even though his head still hurts and he’s still tired, he feels much better than he did earlier. “Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” says Dr Fortis.

~

School is interesting, and he likes spending time with Ignis in his apartment, but it’s difficult to concentrate. He’s still tired and he keeps thinking about what Dr Fortis said about dreams. He didn’t know that dreams let humans tidy up their minds. MT units don’t dream because their systems are already in order. But his system has been malfunctioning. That must be why he started having dreams – because his system was malfunctioning and there was no-one available to correct it, so it had to self-correct. It makes sense. Although he doesn’t know why MT units need to sleep, if the function of sleep is reordering the system. But he likes sleeping, except when he’s having bad dreams.

“Prompto?” says Ignis.

He looks up. Ignis is looking at him. He thinks – Ignis must have asked him a question. But he didn’t hear it because he was thinking about dreams.

“Do you have dreams?” he asks. He should have asked what the question was that Ignis had. But he wanted to know whether Ignis has dreams and he forgot to stop himself from saying it.

Ignis looks surprised. Then he sits down. “Ah – do you mean – do I have hopes for the future, or do you mean do I have dreams when I go to sleep at night?”

He stares at Ignis. “I meant – at night,” he says. “I don’t understand about hopes for the future.”

Ignis smiles a little. “That’s another meaning of the word dream,” he says. “You dream about things that you would like to happen in the future.”

He frowns. “I don’t dream about that,” he says. He doesn’t hope that in the future an MT unit will come and try to terminate him.

“I don’t mean that you dream about that at night,” Ignis said. “It’s another meaning. When you’re thinking about what you want to happen in the future, that’s also called dreaming.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know there was more than one meaning. It seems unnecessary and inefficient.

“To answer your question, yes, I do dream at night, though I don’t always remember my dreams,” Ignis says.

“What do you dream about?” he asks.

“All kinds of things,” Ignis says. “Often quite – bizarre.”

“Do you have bad dreams or good dreams?” he asks.

“Sometimes bad, sometimes good,” Ignis says. “Sometimes they’re neither, just odd.”

He considers the humans that he knows. Ignis is the most rational, except maybe Dr Fortis. But Ignis has strange dreams, too, so even Ignis needs his mind to be tidied up. Humans aren’t very efficient.

“What are your bad dreams about?” he asks.

Ignis looks away. Then he looks down at his hands. He looks – tired. It makes him feel bad.

“Well, sometimes I dream that something bad happens to Noctis,” he says at last. “Those nights are – unpleasant.”

He sits up. “Yes,” he says. It would be very unpleasant to dream that Noctis was hurt. Even thinking about it makes him feel like he wants to get up and find Noctis, to make sure he’s not hurt. “You feel affection for Noctis.”

Ignis looks surprised. Then he smiles a little. “I do,” he says.

He nods. “Does Noctis feel affection for you?”

Ignis blinks. Then he takes off his glasses and pulls a cloth out of his pocket to clean them.

“Ah – I – must admit, I’ve never asked him,” he says.

“Oh,” he says.

“Mm,” says Ignis.

He thinks about Noctis and Ignis. “I think he feels affection for you,” he says. “Dr Fortis says Noctis doesn’t like to talk about affection because he’s male and he’s between thirteen and nineteen years old, so he wouldn’t tell you if he did. But I think he does.” It makes sense. Noctis comes here every day after school to talk to Ignis.

Ignis stares at him. “I – see,” he says. Then he smiles. “Well, thank you for the vote of confidence.”

He doesn’t understand what Ignis means. “Yes,” he says. “You’re welcome.”

“Now, if we could get back to--” Ignis starts, but at the same time he thinks of something else that he wants to know.

“When you have bad dreams, does your dad give you hot milk?” he says. Arcis is usually the one who brings hot milk for him, but he doesn’t think Ignis has someone like Arcis to watch him when he’s sleeping, so it makes sense that his dad would do it. Then he realises he interrupted Ignis. He feels nervous. But Ignis doesn’t look angry. He looks tired again, though.

“My father lives a long way away,” he says. “And anyway, hot milk is more for children.”

Children is humans who are less old than thirteen years. He doesn’t know how old Ignis is, but Noctis is between thirteen and nineteen years old and he estimates that Ignis is at least twice as old as Noctis, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t get hot milk from his dad.

“Did your dad give you hot milk when you were a children?” he asks.

Ignis looks even more tired. He stands up suddenly and goes to the kitchen, turning away.

“Ah – no,” he says. “My relationship with my father was not – very much like your relationship with Cor.”

“Oh,” he says. “I don’t understand.”

Ignis starts moving things around on the kitchen counter. It doesn’t look very efficient – he moves one item from one end to the other and then replaces it with an item from the middle. There doesn’t seem to be a strategy involved.

“Well, he was not – very involved in my upbringing,” Ignis says. “And when he was present, he wasn’t particularly – affectionate. Different families are different, Prompto. That’s normal.”

He frowns. “Your dad doesn’t feel affection for you?” he asks. That seems wrong. He thought affection was part of the definition of what dads are.

“No, I’m sure he – Well, perhaps not affection, as such—” Ignis says, then opens a drawer and starts moving things around inside.

“Does your dad love you?” he asks. He thought he understood what dads were, but now he thinks he might have got it wrong.

Ignis suddenly slams the drawer shut and leans over the counter. His palms are flat on the countertop. “I would prefer not to discuss this issue any further,” he says. His voice is sharp. He’s never heard Ignis talk like that before. No, that isn’t true. But he’s never heard Ignis talk like that to him. It makes him feel – bad.

“I’m sorry,” he says. His heart is beating in his throat. “I didn’t mean to discuss an inappropriate subject.”

Ignis just leans on the counter for a few seconds. His back is still towards him. Then he sighs and straightens up. He turns around. He looks tired.

“No, that’s – I understand that you’re trying to gather context for human relationships, and that’s a very appropriate thing for you to do,” says Ignis. “But Prompto, sometimes relationships between humans can be – rather painful, and it’s not always a good idea to enquire too deeply.”

He blinks. “Painful?” he says.

“Not in the sense of physical pain,” Ignis says. “But – emotional pain. Do you understand what I mean by emotional pain?”

He thinks about emotional pain. He thinks about the way his chest hurts sometimes when he feels bad, even though there’s no obvious cause. “Yes,” he says.

Ignis nods. “Well, then,” he says. “I should--” He turns half-back towards the counter, then stands still, like he’s not sure what he should do next. It doesn’t look – like Ignis. Ignis doesn’t look like that normally. It’s strange. He doesn’t like to see Ignis look like that. It makes him feel bad. And he doesn’t like what Ignis said – that relationships between humans can cause emotional pain. Ignis didn’t say what relationships, but they were talking about Ignis and his dad. Dads are supposed to make you feel good, but now he thinks maybe Ignis’s dad is causing him emotional pain. Ignis said his dad isn’t affectionate. He thinks about how he would feel if Cor didn’t feel affection for him, and it makes his chest hurt. So he understands: Ignis’s dad is performing his duties incorrectly and it makes Ignis feel emotional pain. And Ignis looks – wrong, like he doesn’t know what he should do next.

He wants to ask Ignis if he’s right about his dad causing him emotional pain, but Ignis told him he didn’t want to discuss it any more. Maybe it’s like asking about sex. Except Ignis doesn’t act like people do when he asks about sex. Those people are embarrassed, he remembers. But Ignis doesn’t seem embarrassed. He seems sad.

His chest hurts. He doesn’t want Ignis to be sad. He stands up and goes over to the kitchen. He puts his arms round Ignis and hugs him. Ignis stands up straight. For a second he’s very stiff. Then he hugs him back. It feels warm. It feels good. He hopes Ignis feels good, too. If Ignis’s dad lives far away and doesn’t feel affection for him, he probably doesn’t hug him very often. That makes his chest hurt, so he squeezes Ignis tighter. Then he lets go and steps back to see if Ignis looks less sad.

Ignis looks – surprised. “What was that for?” he says.

“I made you feel bad by discussing inappropriate subjects,” he says. “I wanted to make you feel better. And if your dad doesn’t hug you then it’s useful for someone else to hug you instead.”

Ignis looks even more surprised. Then he smiles. He looks happy. “I’d never thought of it like that,” he says.

“If your dad is performing his function incorrectly I can ask Cor to give him instructions,” he says. “Cor is good at being a dad.”

Ignis laughs, then. “That does seem to be the case,” he says. “It’s a little unexpected.”

“Should I ask Cor?” he asks.

“Ah – no, I don’t think that’s necessary,” Ignis says. “A lack of instructions is not the problem in this case. But it’s a kind offer – thank you.”

That seems strange. If Ignis’s dad has the appropriate instructions, then why isn’t he performing his function correctly? “Maybe Cor could assign you a new dad?” he says.

Ignis stares at him. Then he smiles. “Prompto, it’s very kind of you to try to solve this – problem, but unfortunately it’s beyond your powers – or even the Marshal’s. But you should know that sometimes when a person’s relationships with their family leave something to be desired, some of that lack can be made up by relationships with other people.”

“Oh,” he says. “What other people?”

“Friends, for example,” says Ignis. “Like you.”

He considers this. Friends aren’t the same as dads, but friends also hug and provide affection. Noctis hugs him sometimes, and they’re friends. He still thinks Ignis should have an appropriately functioning dad as well as friends, but maybe if Ignis has a lot of friends then it might not be too bad. But he doesn’t know how many friends Ignis has. Is Noctis Ignis’s friend? He – doesn’t know.

“I feel affection for you,” he says, so that Ignis will know that he’s performing his functions as a friend correctly.

Ignis smiles. His eyes look brighter than usual. “That means a lot to me. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says. Then he goes to sit down. The light on his phone is flashing. He picks it up and sees that it’s a message from Noctis.

Noctis: Algebra sucks

Noctis: And I guess you can’t even help me any more since your math thing broke

Prompto: Hello ❤️

Prompto: My statistical element is malfunctioning, but my mathematical element is still functional. 🙁 🙂

Prompto: Do you feel affection for Ignis? ❤️

He waits for Noctis to send a message. Ignis is cleaning the kitchen, even though it’s supposed to be school and the kitchen is already clean. It takes a few minutes before Noctis sends a message.

Noctis: Um, that’s kind of a weird question dude

Prompto: Oh. I’m sorry. 🙁

Prompto: Ignis’s dad is functioning incorrectly and it’s important for him to have alternative sources of affection so he won’t be sad. 🙁 ❤️

Noctis: …

Noctis: Functioning incorrectly? Is his dad sick? He didn’t tell me that

Prompto: He’s failing to provide affection. 🙁 ❤️

Noctis: Oh

Noctis: Yeah, I heard he’s kind of a dick

Noctis: Did something happen?

Prompto: Lots of things have happened. 😐

Noctis: I mean something with Ignis

Prompto: I hugged Ignis. 🙂 ❤️

Noctis: …

Noctis: That’s weird

Prompto: Oh. 😐

Noctis: I mean, it’s OK, though

Noctis: Like, you can be weird if you want

Prompto: Oh. Thank you. 🙂

Noctis: So like is Specs OK?

Prompto: He’s cleaning the kitchen. 😐

Noctis: Huh

Noctis: Guess he’s OK then

Noctis: Hey I’ll be back in an hour so like

Noctis: Never mind

Noctis: I’ll be back in an hour

Noctis: I gotta go bye

Prompto: Goodbye. 🙁 🙂 ❤️

He puts the phone down. “Noctis will be back in an hour,” he says to Ignis.

“Indeed,” says Ignis. He sounds muffled. He rubs at his face, then he turns round. “Well, we have time for a little more astronomy, then.”

~

When Noctis arrives, he behaves as usual: he drops his bag on the floor and slumps on the couch, tipping his head back. “Ugh,” he says. But a few seconds later he sits up and looks at Ignis. Ignis is working at his laptop. Noctis looks at him for a few seconds. Then he leans over and gets an object out of his bag.

“Hey, Specs,” he says. “Catch.”

He throws the object. Ignis looks up sharply and catches it. Ignis has good reflexes, for a human.

“What’s this?” Ignis asks, looking at the object. It’s an ovoid piece of glass with one flattened side, approximately seven centimetres long in its long axis. The glass is made so that there are colours mixed together inside it, black and blue and silver, like a frozen spiral. It’s beautiful.

“Paperweight,” Noctis says, looking intently at his phone.

“So I see,” Ignis says. “Why did you throw it at me?”

“Just saw it and thought you might like it,” Noctis says. “You know. You got a lot of paper.”

Ignis blinks at him. Then he looks at the object. He turns it over and looks at the flat side. There’s a label there, but he can’t see what it says.

“I see,” Ignis says. “That’s – very thoughtful of you.”

Noctis doesn’t look up from his phone. “Whatever,” he says, half-shrugging. He glances up, then back down again. “You, um – OK?”

Ignis puts his head on one side and looks at Noctis, eyes narrowed. Then Ignis looks at him. Then he snorts quietly.

“I’m quite all right,” he says. “But I do appreciate the concern.”

Noctis seems to slump a little into the couch. “Cool, thought so,” he says. Then he nudges him. “Wanna play King’s Knight?”

~

They play King’s Knight until Cor arrives for dinner. When Cor gets there, though, Ignis stands up.

“Ah, Marshal, I’m glad you’re here,” he says. “I have the – item we’ve been discussing.”

“Yeah?” Cor says.

“If now is the appropriate time…?”

Cor looks at him. Then he nods at Ignis. Ignis goes into a different room and comes back out with a bag.

“Got something for you, kiddo,” Cor says. “Guess we don’t know when your birthday is, so now’s as good a time as any.”

Ignis hands the bag to Cor, and Cor holds it out to him. He takes it and looks inside. It’s a series of boxes with images of objects on them and a book. He pulls out the largest box. He doesn’t recognise the object. The box says Spectra Mark 7 DSLR. He frowns at the box.

“Shit, that’s cool!” Noctis says. “You’re gonna get amazing pics now!”

He looks at Noctis. “What is it?”

“Are you kidding?” Noctis says, then shakes himself. “What am I saying, of course you’re not kidding. It’s a camera!”

“A camera?” he asks.

“Yeah! Look--” Noctis reaches across him and starts to open the box.

“Noctis,” Ignis says quietly.

“I’m just showing him,” says Noctis, but he stops trying to open the box. But it’s already mostly open, so he opens it the rest of the way. Inside is a cuboid black object with a circle of glass on the front. It doesn’t look like a phone, or like the cameras in the facility. There are a number of other objects inside the box, and a small book. He pulls out the book and looks at it. The cover says Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual. His heart starts to beat faster.

“It’s a camera,” he says. “With instructions.” He doesn’t understand how the camera works, but there are instructions. Maybe the instructions will explain how to get the light to look right in the pictures.

Cor smiles at him. “You should have everything you need in there,” he says.

“Hey, what else is in there?” Noctis asks, craning his neck to look in the bag.

He sets the box with the camera in it carefully down on the coffee table, then starts taking the other boxes out of the bag. The boxes mostly have codes or model numbers on them, but Noctis whistles when he sees them.

“Cor, did you get every lens in the store?” he asks.

“Yeah, I let Ignis drive on this one,” Cor says.

“It wouldn’t do to be unprepared,” Ignis says.

Noctis snorts. He doesn’t understand what they’re talking about, but he finishes setting the boxes out and then takes out the book. There’s an image on the front of the sky. It’s striking – the clouds stand out starkly, half-white and half-grey, and the sky between them looks almost impossibly blue. Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography is written over the top of the clouds.

“We thought you might appreciate some more detailed instructions,” Ignis says.

He stares at the book. He runs his fingers over the words. He wants to make an image like the one on the cover. Or like the ones in the books that Ignis gave him. He didn’t realise there were instructions for how to do that.

“Very cool,” Noctis says. “Hey, tomorrow’s Saturday. We can go try it out, right?” He looks up at Ignis.

“I don’t see why not, if Prompto wants to and there are no security concerns,” Ignis says.

Noctis looks at him. “You want to, right? Go take pictures, I mean.”

“Yeah,” he says. It comes out in a whisper. He wants to take pictures.

“That’s enough for me,” Cor says. He rubs his head. “We’ll make it happen, kid.”

“Thank you,” he says. He feels like his chest is swelling. He looks up at Cor and Ignis and he feels like his heart is too big for his body. “Thank you.”

“Hey, so how do you put this thing together?” Noctis asks. “I’ll help you. Here.”

Noctis hands him the small instruction booklet. He takes it, but for a few seconds he can’t think what he’s supposed to do with it. He feels so – good. He feels too good to think about what to do with it.

“Prompto?” Noctis says. “You OK?”

He swallows and opens the booklet.

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m OK.”

Chapter Text

Noctis helps him to put the camera together. It’s difficult.

He wants to read Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual first. It’s appropriate: first he can read the instructions, then he’ll know how to put the camera together, and how to use it. But he’s only been reading it for thirty seconds before Noctis reaches out for the box.

“Hey, where’s the battery? You need to put that in first.”

He looks up from the instructions. “The Instruction Manual says to confirm that all components are present first.”

“Oh.” Noctis lets go of the box. “Well – yeah, that’s a good idea. In case anything’s missing.” He pauses. “So – you gonna check?”

He looks down at the manual, then up at Noctis. “I was going to read the Instruction Manual first.”

“I mean – you did read it.” Noctis frowns. His frown deepens. “Wait, like – the whole thing? Before you even start doing anything?” He grabs Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual from his hands and flips through. “It’s a hundred pages long!”

“Kid likes to be prepared,” Cor says. He’s leaning against the counter. Ignis is cooking. Gladio is reading his own book.

“Um, no,” Noctis says. “That’s way too prepared.”

“I’m not sure you’re the best person to judge the appropriate level of preparation,” Ignis says.

Noctis makes a strange face. “Don’t you just wanna get started?” he says. “Thought you were excited.”

“I am excited.” He feels it, in his stomach, like something’s bubbling.

“Right! So--”

“Noctis,” Ignis says, a little more sharply. “It’s Prompto’s camera.”

“Yeah, I get that, but--” Noctis looks at him, then at Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual. He chews his lip. “But you know – you don’t have to always follow instructions, right?”

He blinks. He stares at Noctis. “Yes, I do.” They’re instructions. That’s what instructions are for.

Slowly, Noctis shakes his head. “No,” he says. “It’s fine. Nothing bad’s gonna happen if you don’t follow them.”

Ignis turns from the stove and opens his mouth, but Cor puts out a hand and shakes his head slightly. He doesn’t know what Cor’s telling Ignis not to do. But he doesn’t have time to think about that. He’s busy thinking about Noctis.

“I need to follow them,” he says. “Or I won’t know what to do.”

“No, you can figure it out,” Noctis says. “See, here.” He reaches into the box and pulls out a cuboid shape wrapped in plastic. “This is – I mean, you can figure out what it is without the instructions.” He holds it out.

He stares at the object. He looks at the camera. Noctis shakes the object slightly and he takes it. Then he looks at the camera. He looks at Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual. Noctis is still holding it. He swallows.

“Maybe you should give him the instructions,” Gladio says. “It’s late.”

He doesn’t know why the time of day is relevant, but he does want Noctis to give him the instructions. But Noctis shakes his head.

“Don’t you ever want to – just do something?” he says. “Just do something. Don’t you want to just do something and not worry about whether you’re doing it right?”

He stares at Noctis. He’d never even thought about whether he wants that. He’d never thought about that as an option. “I… don’t know,” he says. But he thinks – maybe he does know. Even though he’s never thought about it before. It feels like there’s a space opening up in his chest. It hurts.

Ignis sighs. “Noctis, give him the instructions.”

Noctis tightens his fingers around Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual for a moment, bending the cover a little. Then his shoulders slump and he holds it out.

“Yeah, sorry,” he mutters.

“Thank you,” he says. He opens Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual. There’s a series of images of the components that are supposed to be in the box. He’s supposed to confirm that they’re all there. One of them looks like the cuboid object, except it’s not wrapped in plastic. QD-BX19a rechargeable Li-ion battery (with terminal cover), says the caption. So it’s the battery. Noctis said the battery needs to go in first. That makes sense. The camera won’t work without the battery.

Don’t you just want to do something? That’s what Noctis said. Do something. Like take pictures. If he has to read the whole of Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual and Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography before he starts, it’ll be a long time before he can take any pictures. He looks at the camera. His hands feel itchy, his fingers. But if he doesn’t read the instructions, how will he know what to do? He’s supposed to confirm that all the components are in the box. But he wants--

“Prompto?” Noctis says. “You OK, bud?”

He picks up the camera and stares at it. There’s a small segmented part of the underside that says battery compartment in very small writing. He doesn’t know how to open it, but he experiments for a few seconds and finds a switch that makes it spring open. He takes the plastic off the battery and slides it inside, then closes the compartment. He feels – excited. He feels excited.

He looks up. Everyone’s looking at him. Gladio’s grinning. Noctis nods solemnly and holds out both of his hands with the thumbs extended and pointed up.

“I have to confirm all the components are in the box,” he says.

“Sure,” says Noctis. “I’ll read them out and you can find them.”

So Noctis helps him to put together the camera. And it’s difficult.

And it’s exciting.

~

Later, after he and Cor go back to the apartment where they’re living now, he reads Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual. He reads it until Cor says he needs to go to bed. Then he goes to bed and lies on his back staring at the ceiling. Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual contains a lot of information that he doesn’t understand. He thinks some of it will probably make more sense when he tries to carry out the instructions using the camera. The camera is on the small table in the room where he sleeps. Although it’s dark, he can make out the silhouette in the light that comes through the door. According to Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual, there are a lot of different settings that can be adjusted. Shutter speed and ISO and F-stop. He doesn’t know what effect the adjustments will have. He thinks Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography might have more information. He’s a complete beginner, so it might have the information he needs. But he doesn’t think he’ll have time to read it all before they go to take pictures tomorrow. He doesn’t want to get it wrong. Except – he wants to do it. He doesn’t want to wait until he’s read the whole book. Maybe that won’t even be tomorrow, then – maybe it’ll take him all day and then he won’t be able to go any more. He wants to go tomorrow. He doesn’t want to wait.

Don’t you just want to do something and not worry about getting it wrong?

His chest hurts. He thinks about the feeling. It’s painful, but it’s not bad. Or it is bad – it hurts, and he’s not sure what it means – but also – he wants to feel – more. He wants to find out about the space in his chest. He should – he should ask Dr Fortis about it.

He stares at the ceiling. His thoughts travel in circles. F-stop. Shutter speed. ISO. F-stop. Shutter speed. ISO. He thinks about the picture in the book that Ignis once showed him, of the cenibrus tree. He didn’t even know what a tree was, then. Tomorrow, maybe he can take a picture of a tree. Maybe one day, he could take a picture of a tree that would make someone else feel the way the picture of the cenibrus tree made him feel. His chest hurts. It’s difficult to sleep. How will he know what to do in the morning?

After a while, he gets up and turns the light on. He picks up Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual. He only has fifteen pages to go, and then he can start Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography. Maybe he can read enough of it by tomorrow that he’ll know what to do.

He’s finished Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual and is ten pages into Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography when the door opens.

It’s Arcis.

“What’s this, light on?” he says, then comes in and closes the door quietly behind him. “Thought I heard the Marshal tell you to go to sleep.”

Yes. That’s what Cor told him. He forgot Cor told him that because he was thinking so hard about the camera. He swallows. Arcis leans against the door and puts his hands in his pockets.

“Pretty excited about that camera, huh?” he says.

He looks at the camera. “Noctis says we can go tomorrow and take pictures,” he says.

“Great,” Arcis says. “Can’t wait to see em.”

“I don’t know how to take pictures,” he says.

“Sure you do,” Arcis says. “I’ve seen you take them on your phone.”

“Those are inadequate,” he says.

Arcis raises his eyebrows. “Kind of harsh,” he says. “They look good to me. Not like it has the best camera in the world.”

He closes his mouth. Arcis doesn’t understand. Cor gave him a good camera. He knows it’s possible to take – adequate pictures. More than adequate. Pictures that make him feel like he can’t breathe. Those are the pictures he wants to take. But he doesn’t know how to take those kinds of pictures, and he needs to read the book so he’ll know.

Arcis sits down at the table, frowning at him. “OK, seriously, what’s up?”

He looks up. He doesn’t see anything except the ceiling. Arcis snorts quietly.

“It’s a figure of speech,” he says. “Gladio’s been teaching you about them, right? It means what’s wrong.”

“Oh.” He frowns. “It’s not wrong. I need to learn about how to take the pictures.”

“Sure,” says Arcis. “And you will. Give yourself a chance, not like you’re going to be an expert in one day.”

“Yes,” he says. “That’s up.”

“...up?”

“We’re going tomorrow,” he says. “Noctis is going.”

Arcis sits for a moment like he’s waiting. Then he raises his eyebrow. “And?”

“And then it won’t be Saturday,” he says.

Arcis stares at him for a moment longer. Then he reaches out and takes the book out of his hands.

“There’ll be other Saturdays, kid,” he says. “Give yourself a break. And get some sleep.”

So he goes back to bed. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to get to sleep, but Arcis ordered him to, so he has to try. He stares at the ceiling for a long time. And then--

--and then, it’s morning. It’s very bright in the room, and it’s morning. He blinks, then sits up. The curtains are open. That’s why it’s so bright. He forgot to close them last night. Even though he thinks he can remember closing them.

He stares at the curtains for a few seconds. Then he sits up and picks up the phone. There’s a message from Dr Fortis. It arrived an hour ago. Dear Prompto, Apologies for not sending these earlier. We can talk about it at our next meeting. Attached is a file entitled: Meditation: A Beginner’s Guide.

He downloads the file. He should read A Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography first, but this is much shorter so he skims it to see whether there’s anything he doesn’t understand. Meditation is a way of calming down and removing extraneous thoughts and worries from your mind. It’s possible to do it by concentrating on breathing, or by imagining yourself in a peaceful place where nothing’s bothering you. There’s nothing he doesn’t understand, except that he can’t imagine being able to remove all worries from his mind. And he can’t imagine a place like that, so he thinks it might be difficult. But maybe he can try the kind of meditation that’s about breathing. Maybe he can try it when he gets back from taking pictures with Noctis.

He closes the file and gets out of the bed. He picks up the camera. He stares at it, running his fingertips over the smooth surfaces. He tries to remember all the instructions, about how to adjust F-stop and shutter speed and ISO. He should probably read them again. But--

He depresses the button that turns the camera on. The screen on the back lights up. It’s blank. He removes the lens cap, and the screen shows a corner of the table and the floor. He could – take a picture now. Maybe he’ll take a picture now. Just to try.

The plants are on the shelf next to the window. The plant with the yellow flowers looks bright and happy in the sun. He doesn’t know if a plant can be happy, but somehow it looks happy anyway. He goes over and holds the camera so that the plant is in the screen on the back.

He takes a picture.

The image on the screen freezes for a moment, then starts moving again. He remembers from Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual that he can look at the picture he took by pressing the back arrow. He presses it. The plant looks – not quite right, not bright enough. Not – yellow enough. He presses the back arrow again to go back to the main screen, and--

--there’s another picture. It’s a picture of the view out of the window, only it’s night time. It’s the view from this window, at night time. He frowns at it. He knows from reading Spectra Mark 7 DSLR Instruction Manual that the images are recorded on a storage card. But the storage card was new – it was wrapped in plastic – so it shouldn’t already have any images on it. It shouldn’t have images of the view from this window at night time.

He presses the back arrow again. There’s another picture, identical to the previous one. The view from the window at night. There are times reported on the screen for each image, and he clicks back and forward and sees that they were taken thirty seconds apart, at 0319 hours. Then he presses the back arrow again.

There’s a third image.

He swallows and sits on the bed. He clicks the back arrow. Back, and back, and back. Image after image. After a while, he starts to see that they’re not identical. Each one is subtly different. Slightly brighter, slightly darker. The colours a little more blue, a little more grey. Some images are blurred, some almost pixelated. Images that were taken immediately after each other are so similar that it’s hard to see if they’re identical or not, but if he scrolls many images quickly, he sees the changes.

He selects one of the images. Information fills the screen. F-stop. ISO. Shutter speed. Each with a number. He memorises the numbers, then moves to the next image. The number for F-stop has increased by 0.1. Otherwise, all the numbers are the same. He moves again, to the next image. The number for F-stop has increased by 0.1 again. Otherwise, all the numbers are the same.

He stares at the camera. He moves through the images, one by one by one. And he sees: it’s a test. A systematic test. Someone took the camera at 0300 hours and tested how each possible combination of F-stop and shutter speed and ISO would affect the image. Someone. Someone took the camera.

He stands up and puts the camera down on the table, then backs away from it, towards the wall. He stares at it. He looks at the door. Arcis was outside the door all night. Awake. He knows Arcis was awake. He knows that nobody came in here and took the camera and stood by the window, taking picture after picture.

He knows that.

The door opens quietly and Cor puts his head inside. He looks at the bed, frowns, then scans the room until he sees him standing by the wall. “Huh, you’re awake,” he says, and comes fully into the room. “You OK?”

He swallows. “Yeah,” he says. Nothing’s happened. Nothing bad. Except he doesn’t remember taking the pictures.

Cor nods. “Got Ignis on the phone,” he says. “Apparently His Highness has big plans for today. And is up before ten a.m. voluntarily.” He smiles. “Ignis sounded like he was ready to nominate you for some kind of award.”

He stares at Cor. “I don’t understand,” he says.

“Sorry, kid,” says Cor, reaching out and rubbing his head. “I just mean you’re a good influence on Noctis.”

“Oh,” he says. “What does that mean?”

“That you’re--” Cor says, and then pauses, frowning like he’s thinking. “That Noct behaves better because of his relationship with you.”

“Oh,” he says. He didn’t know Noctis behaved poorly before. Noctis is a human so he shouldn’t be able to behave poorly. But he does do things that other humans don’t do, and sometimes he does things that other humans tell him not to do. Maybe that’s why he’s still low-ranking. Or maybe it’s just because he’s only between thirteen and nineteen years old. But then, he still doesn’t understand. “Why would our relationship make him behave better?”

“Uh – I mean, I guess he’s happier,” Cor says. “He seems happier. Not that I’m an expert on Noctis’s feelings. Or anyone’s.”

He nods. “Noctis is happier because we’re bros,” he says.

Cor grins. “Right,” he says.

It’s good. He’s glad. “Noctis is a good influence on me, too,” he says. He’s happier, too.

Cor laughs. “Yeah, I guess he is, at that,” he says. “Who knew that could happen?” He puts a hand on his shoulder. “Now take a shower and get dressed. Wouldn’t want to keep your bro waiting.”

“No,” he says, and he goes to take a shower.

~

Later, they meet Noctis at the car. He’s there with Ignis and Gladio and two silent ones. Noctis is carrying a long stick with a long string attached to it and a bag. He looks happy when he sees him. It’s good. Cor said Noctis is happier because they’re bros. He didn’t know Noctis was less happy before, but he’s glad that he’s happier now. And it feels good that he was the one who made Noctis happier. Even though he doesn’t know what he did to make him happy. It makes him feel warm. He thinks it’s likely that the reason Noctis is happier is the same reason that he’s happier, just like when Dr Fortis told him Cor worries about him the same way that he worries about Cor. It’s good to love people, even though it hurts sometimes. It’s good to have a bro.

“You all set?” Noctis says. “Got your camera?”

He touches the camera. It’s hanging round his neck. He tried to dismantle it and put it back in the box for shipping, but Cor told him it wasn’t necessary, so now it’s just hanging there. It makes him feel nervous – because it could get damaged, but also because of the pictures that are already on the camera. But he doesn’t want to think about that. He wants to think about Noctis, because Noctis looks happy.

“Me and Prompto are going in the same car,” Noctis announces.

There’s a murmuring among the silent ones – the two Noctis has with him and the daytime silent one, who came with him and Cor – and they shuffle around until there’s the right number of people for each of the two cars. He goes with Cor and Noctis and Gladio and the daytime silent one. Ignis and the other two silent ones go in the other car.

They drive. He thinks they’re going to the park – he’d like to go to the park so he can take pictures of a tree – but they go past it. They keep driving, along the roads between the tall buildings. He looks out of the window at all the people. He remembers the first time he saw people like this, outside the facility. How strange it was that they were all different shapes and sizes, with different clothes and hair. It’s still strange, but now it seems – good. He likes how different all the people are. He’d like to take pictures of all of them.

They stop for a short time in front of a pole with a red light on it, by a corner where there’s a crowd of people gathered. Some of them are holding signs. He reads one sign: NIFFS OUT LEONIS. He thinks there might be more, but he can’t see the bottom word because people are standing in the way. Leonis is Cor’s last name so he tries to read some of the signs, but one of the people turns and looks at him, just looks for a second, and then smiles. And then he feels – something. Something strange. A pain in his head, and – an echo of a voice. Some kind of voice. Oh dear, says the voice. It seems we’re running out of time.

“Hey,” says Cor in the seat next to him, and he blinks. The person is gone, the car is moving again. His head hurts. “You OK?” says Cor.

He blinks again. “Yeah,” he says.

And they drive. They didn’t go to the park, but he thinks maybe they’re going to the other park, the one by the house where he and Cor lived for a night. But they don’t go there, either. They just keep driving. And he’s thinking. He’s thinking about the pictures on the camera. The pictures that someone took in the night. Because Dr Fortis told him that other people sleepwalk. Or – not other people, just people, humans, not MTs – that they sleepwalk sometimes. But he doesn’t know if other people – if humans do other things in their sleep. Like taking pictures. Somehow that seems – different from sleepwalking. He thinks he should ask Dr Fortis. But he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to think about it. But because they’re just driving and driving, he can’t think of anything else.

“Where are we going?” he asks Cor.

“You’ll see,” says Noctis from the back seat.

And a moment later, he does. He sees: trees, and a flat open space with a few cars, and a sign that says Lake Suspirium National Nature Reserve. He remembers the name, from when Noctis said it before. The lake. He went to the lake before. He fed a bird and threw rocks. Suddenly, all the thoughts about the pictures are gone, replaced by a thrumming, bubbling feeling. The lake. He’s excited.

“You like it here, right?” says Noctis as the car pulls to a stop.

“Yeah,” he says. Yeah. He likes it here. He wants to take pictures here. Of the trees, and of – the water, the birds. The rocks. Suddenly, he wants to take pictures of everything. Of everything.

“Cool, so let’s go,” says Noctis. He’s standing by the car holding his long stick. He gets out of the car and follows Noctis up the path through the trees. They comes to the top of the path. And there’s the lake: broad and shining and grey, grey today instead of blue, and shining in a different way, bright all over, like metal when it catches the light. He stares at it, all that water. All that light. He knows now that the water falls out of the sky. He’s seen it, he understands. But it’s still hard to believe that all of that water could just come out of the sky. And that it could make so much light.

Noctis nudges him. “OK?”

“Yeah,” he says, but it comes out strangely, like the sound is caught in his throat. “Yeah,” he says again.

“Sooo – you gonna takes some pictures, or what?” says Noctis.

“Yes,” he says. He picks up the camera. F-stop. ISO. Shutter speed. But how can he fit all that light into the picture? It won’t be adequate. He already knows it won’t be adequate.

“You gotta press that button,” says a voice behind him, and he starts and turns. It’s Gladio. Gladio hits him between his shoulderblades. “This one,” he says, reaching out and pressing the button that takes a picture. “Otherwise it ain’t gonna do squat.”

He blinks. “Squat?” he says.

Gladio beams at him. “You got it! Now go get it.”

He doesn’t understand. But Gladio is already walking away. He looks at the screen. Then he presses the back arrow. The picture that Gladio took appears. It’s a little blurry, and the light looks almost dull. So that wasn’t right – wasn’t the right configuration. He’s sure it’s possible to get a better image. So he adjusts the ISO.

And he takes a picture.

~

He takes pictures: of Gladio, walking along the edge of the water. Of Ignis, reading a book in a folding chair. Of the trees – far away, and then close up, and then very close up, the way the light shines through the leaves, the patterns on the bark, a hole in the ground between the roots. He takes pictures of Noctis, who’s standing by the water holding his long stick, even longer now – it’s telescopic, he sees – with the long string trailing in the water. And the lake. He takes pictures of the lake standing up, and kneeling down. He zooms in and out. He walks along the shore to see if the light will be different from another angle. He takes pictures, and pictures, and pictures. And the pictures – get better. Not perfect, not what he wants, but he starts to understand how the ISO and the F-stop and the shutter speed affect the way the image looks. He thinks he could understand it even better if he had had time to read Complete Beginners’ Guide to Photography, but – but he can read it later. And there’ll be other Saturdays. Even though he feels somehow – urgent, like there isn’t enough time. But that’s just excitement. Because Arcis said there would be other Saturdays, so – it’s just excitement.

Eventually, he walks far enough along the shore to reach the river. It’s quieter now than he remembers, as though there’s less water flowing in it. It sparkles as the water flows over stones, white bubbles interspersed with smooth sections that look almost like glass. It’s just movement, so much movement, and he takes picture after picture and none of them are right but some of them are better than others.

“Getting some good pictures?” asks someone behind him.

He turns and sees Cor standing there. He looks at the camera. “Good camera?”

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you.”

“No problem, kid,” Cor says. “Just glad to see you enjoying yourself.”

Yes. He’s enjoying himself.

“Hey – you remember when we came here before?” Cor asks.

He stares at Cor. “Yes,” he says. Of course he remembers that. It was the first time he saw – so much water. And Cor taught him how to make stones bounce.

Cor scratches the back of his neck. “Guess a lot’s changed since then, huh?”

“Yes,” he says. A lot’s changed. Cor wasn’t his dad yet then. And he didn’t have a camera. “I’m happy we came here.”

Cor pauses, looking at him. “Which time?”

“Both times,” he says. He likes it here, at the lake.

Cor smiles, then. Cor doesn’t say anything else, just watches. He tries again to take pictures of the water. Then he takes some pictures of the rocks. He thought they would be easier because they’re not moving, but somehow there’s something about them he didn’t even notice until he looked at the picture and it wasn’t there. A – rock-ness. Maybe rocks are alive, like plants and birds.

After a while, they start to walk back towards where the others are. He wants to take more pictures of Noctis, but when they’re most of the way back, he hears a splash and a shriek, and when he looks for Noctis he sees him in the water, all the way up to his neck, spluttering and splashing. Gladio’s in the water, too, waist-deep. He’s not wearing a shirt and he looks very happy.

“Gladio, you ass!” Noctis pants. He stands up, and now he’s only chest-deep in the water. He looks very wet. “It’s fucking freezing!”

“What, you were gonna come to the lake and not swim? Sorry, ain’t gonna let that one pass,” says Gladio.

Cor looks at Ignis. “You bring a towel?” he asks.

Ignis doesn’t look up from his book. “Several,” he says. “And a number of changes of clothes.”

“Ass,” says Noctis again, and then there’s a lot of splashing. He can’t really see what’s going on, but at the end of it both Noctis and Gladio are soaking wet.

Cor nudges him. “Looks fun, huh?”

He looks at Cor. Fun is when you do something for no reason, except that it’s enjoyable. He doesn’t know if it looks fun. Noctis seems angry. But Gladio seems happy. Both of them are wet.

“Here, let me take that.” Cor takes the camera from around his neck, then pushes him slightly. He pushes him in the direction of the water. “Go hang with your bros.”

He takes a few steps towards the water, then looks back at Cor. He isn’t sure what Cor wants him to do.

“Take your shoes and socks off,” Cor says.

He kneels down and takes his shoes and socks off. He tucks the socks into the shoes and puts the shoes next to each other. He looks at the water. Gladio’s disappeared. Noctis is floating on his back with his hands behind his head. Then Gladio suddenly erupts from under the water and tips Noctis over, and then there’s lots of splashing and shouting again. And – and it looks fun. He thinks – it looks fun.

He swallows. There’s a space opening up in his chest. He wants – to--

He steps forward, into the water. It’s cold. It’s very cold. He takes another step, up to his ankles. But it’s cold. He thinks about what it would be like to be submerged, like Noctis and Gladio. He’s never been submerged in water before. Not since he was a level zero, and he doesn’t remember that. It would be cold. Maybe it wouldn’t be fun.

“Hey, pipsqueak,” Gladio says, wading towards him. “You coming in?”

He takes another step and stops. “It’s cold,” he says.

Gladio comes up to him. He’s dripping. He nods.

“Yeah,” he says. “Good point.”

Then, suddenly, Gladio steps forward, bends down, and grabs him. He’s about to engage his combat tactical element when he remembers it isn’t working. And that it’s Gladio. Gladio isn’t trying to hurt him. But he isn’t sure what Gladio is trying to do. Gladio is lifting him up and slinging him over his shoulder. Without the combat tactical element, he isn’t sure how to respond. Is Gladio taking him somewhere? Why doesn’t he just tell him where to go?

And then Gladio roars and throws him, and he flies through the air and lands, plunging into the water. It’s cold – it’s so cold, the shock of it, like tiny needles all over his body at once, and he surfaces, spluttering, feet finding the bottom, breath gasping in his throat.

“Ah,” he coughs. “Ah, it’s cold.”

“Right?” says Noctis. He’s only a few metres away, floating. “Fucking cold, fucking Gladio!”

He blinks, rubbing the water out of his eyes. His hair is dripping in his face. And Noctis is smiling. He’s smiling, and Gladio is laughing, and – it’s cold. It’s cold but it feels good.

Noctis rolls onto his front and then suddenly slides under the water, moving his arms and legs in strange ways. He watches him dart away, then surface some distance away. He wonders how he did that. Then he puts his own head under the water. It’s cold, but he wants to see what’s under there. It’s hard to see when he’s standing up because of the light reflecting off the surface.

Under the water, it’s silent and still. Everything’s a little blurry, but he see green fronds and pale sand and some dark flashes that move fast. It’s so quiet and strange, and the light dances across his vision. He watches it as it moves across the sand, across his feet. It’s beautiful.

He stands up again. Noctis is floating nearby. He feels less cold now. It’s strange. Then, suddenly, a curtain of water appears from his left and crashes over him. It’s cold, and it’s unexpected, and he turns sharply to see Gladio grinning at him.

“Getting kinda boring round here,” he says.

Then Noctis is standing beside him. “Oh, it’s on,” he says, and smashes the flat of his hand against the water, splashing it over Gladio. Gladio laughs and then splashes back, and then there’s – chaos. Both of them are moving fast, the air is full of water, and they’re laughing. Gladio, mostly, but Noctis, too, in between shouting. Then Noctis wades over to him and grabs his arm.

“You gonna help me out, or what?” he says.

He stares at Noctis. “What should I do?” he asks.

Noctis points at Gladio. “Get him!” he says. “Between us both we can definitely take him down.”

He swallows. “My combat tactical element is malfunctioning.”

“Oh sh--” Noctis says, and then both of them are enveloped in a wall of water. By the time he can see again, Noctis is hammering at the surface of the water with both hands, sending sprays of water towards Gladio.

“Get him!” Noctis says.

And – he doesn’t think about it. He just does the same thing Noctis is doing, trying to splash as much water as possible at Gladio. Gladio is barely visible behind the spray, and after maybe thirty seconds, he puts his hands up, laughing.

“OK, I surrender,” he says. “Fuck me, who said you were allowed to have a friend, huh?”

“Fuck off,” says Noctis. He sounds pleased.

They both stop splashing, and Gladio grins at them. Then, suddenly, he dives under the water, and a second later something wraps round his ankle and pulls sharply. He loses his footing, falls backwards into the water, and there’s that shock again: the cold, the silence, the sudden change in everything about the world. Then he comes back to the surface, his breath jerking in his chest. He feels good. He feels good.

Noctis is staring at him. Gladio, too. He looks back. “Is it still appropriate to get him?” he asks Noctis.

Noctis blinks. “Were you – laughing just then?”

He frowns. “I don’t know.” He didn’t notice anything. Except that he feels good.

“Huh,” says Gladio, and grins. “Guess there’s hope for you yet.”

He doesn’t understand what Gladio means. It’s a figure of speech, but he doesn’t know which one.

“Yes,” he says. “There’s hope for me yet.”