Chapter Text
By: C. Mechayoshi
Part 1: The launch
Created: 8/24/17, 8/26/17
Luigi's feet dragged as he entered his bedroom, just barely reaching his bed before they gave out. The moment he collapsed on to the white sheets and his head hit the cool fluffy pillow, his eyes closed and refused to open again as if sealed with a ‘Mario’(R) brand glue gun. (A real thing!)
This had been a hectic day for a November, known as Rebmevon in the Mushroom Kingdom. For starters, the early day was filled with Bowser business. The Koopa King turned Toads into bricks and Princess Peach was unable to rectify the situation on her own. The brothers and the princess spent hours returning the Toads to normal the hard way; taking each brick apart from the block and hoping a Toad popped out alive. Fortunately all survived, but Bowser got away!
Second, the brothers had to make a "quick" trip to Rogueport as the 222th annual gang war broke out. It was bizarre for the brothers to team up with the local swat team, but with so many illegal mushrooms involved, not even the Marios could handle it alone. The bust ended with an explosion as the criminals stored deranged Bob-bombs in a store room next to the mushrooms. After that everyone went home, including the criminals seeing that the whole thing was now useless, and the Mario brothers essentially had their afternoon wasted. Once they got home, Luigi found that Mario had snuck back two mushrooms because he "got hungry". They were stuffed into a cupboard and forgotten.
The Mario brother's evening meal was interrupted by an urgent call from another princess, this time Daisy. Once they visited Sarasaland, they found that people were turned into bricks...again. The Mario brothers were prepared with pickaxes which they handed to Daisy to get a head start while they went straight for Bowser- er Tatanga? Beating up the space alien proved difficult. He wasn't a tough fighter, but being in a spaceship made all of the difference. By the time they'd finally pounced him, it was almost 9 PM and they hadn't even freed half of the bricked civilians. The end result was Mario and Luigi returning home at 12 AM.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Mario cut off the alarm at 1 AM and hopped out of bed.
"Hey, Weegee! Get up!"
Luigi's red eyes shot open. "Mario... It's one o'clock..."
Mario pointed at the calendar that was posted on the wall. A certain date had a red circle around it. "Yep, we have to hurry in line. We can forget about eating, were not gonna want to eat once we get our Wii!"
"Our w-what?"
"Wii!" Mario repeated as he shook his younger brother. "It's November or Remember or whatever they call it here, the 19th. The Wii is HERE!"
Luigi turned away from Mario and curled up. "I completely forgot about that... Uhg...can't we get it later? Ow, stop pushing!"
"No, little brother. Trust me, this will be so amazing you'll thank me for it."
"I doubt it. Besides, like, we're only buying one so why in the Banzai Bill do I need to be with you?"
"Protection."
Luigi leaned up. "...Seriously? You need me?"
"Yes-" Mario leaned close. "You know how the Mafia gets on new console releases, right? If only I had a faithful, energetic, brave, little brother to have my back-"
"Alright already, move!"
Mario got out of the way as Luigi jumped out of bed and dragged his feet once more. Luigi was still quite fond of their GameCube but he imagined this would be simple enough. Wait and practically sleep in line until they get the new "revolutionary" video game, then crash in bed. After all, they'd be the first in line...
...Mario and Luigi were 64th and 65th in line respectively. It was cold and dark outside the 'Toys R Us' and the children utopia was anything but, with the adults standing in line clearly as sleepy and irritated as Luigi.
He glanced at his flip phone for the time. "Only 2 AM?! Bro, when do they give them out again?"
Mario turned back with a warm smile and eager spirit. "They open at eight, bro."
Luigi yawned. "I'm just gonna rest here and...zzzz," his words trailed off as he leaned against the stone building for support and took a quick visit to Subcon before he knew it.
…
"What do you mean you only have twenty in stock?!? There are literally hundreds of us out here!"
Luigi jolted at sound of the voice, almost stumbling over his own feet. Up ahead was the offending Toad, Zess T. Luigi saw that the sun had began to rise and the line now wrapped behind the building.
"And here I am, just wanting to get a darn Wii for my niece and nephew. I should sue!"
The young looking Toad clerk gasped. "B-but we said in the ad, 'quantities limited'. Y-you can always get a raincheck-"
"You're gonna have to be 'checked' pulling stuff like that on us!" Zess stomped out of line along with large groups of others, mostly those behind the Mario bros.
Luigi poked Mario. "Bro...what going on? What time is it?"
Mario turned back, still beaming. "Seven. Almost there!"
Luigi rubbed his eyes. "Oh, good...I mean wait. Didn't he just say there's only twenty? What's the point anymore?"
Mario chuckled. "Anything can happen. People might get out of line at the last minute."
"I doubt it."
"You doubt me too much."
"You give me no choice." Luigi yawned again. "But whatever, just one hour to go. What can happ-"
"The mafia!" screamed one of the clerks manning the doors, this time an older koopa. An old black luxury car with dark tinted windows skid to a stop in front of the building. All four doors of the car swung open to reveal four business suit wearing Piantas armed with Super Scopes.
"Dis is a stick up!" one wearing a fedora and blue tie yelled. "Hand ova a Wii or y'all all be whacked!"
This sent the remaining crowd into a panic, though they were sure to not actually get out of line.
Mario leaned towards Luigi's ear. "I knew this would happen!'
The color drained from Luigi's face. "This is serious business all of a sudden!"
Mario shook his head. "It was always serious, little bro. Let's handle this."
After a quick nod of assurance from Luigi, Mario stepped forward, his action making the crowd hush slightly.
"Whose dis?" The blue tie clad one asked. His accomplices shrugged.
"It's me, Mario!"
"Mario?"
"Hey Underboss!" another Pianta spoke up. "I know who dis is!"
"Spill it!"
"Dis Mario!"
"I know that, you idiot!"
"Umm, guys?" Mario interrupted. "I know we all want a Wii, but can't we talk this out?"
The Underboss turned back to Mario. "Oh dat. Boss wants one for his grandson and he's gonna get one!"
"Oh well uh, that's great! Hey, if you stand in line you'll get one like the rest of us. I mean, there's totally hundreds in stock and it's almost launch time!"
The Underboss marched straight up to Mario, towering over the hero. "For real? Cause if dats a fib, you will regret it little man!"
Sweat formed on Mario’s forehead as he tried to keep his eyes from wandering down at the silver barrel aimed near his chest. "Totally not a lie. Would I lie? I'm Mario!"
...
"Why did you lie?"
It was 7:45 and the Underboss was in line just a few people away behind the brothers. The mobster car still lingered in front of the 'Toys R Us', complete with armed gangsters inside.
Mario stood like a statue.
Luigi continued. "Bro, they have twenty. How are we gonna pull it off? We're not even getting a Wii! Something amazing would have to happen for-"
Amazingly a souped-up Ford F-150 with oversized chrome wheels and tons of garish green 'X-BOX 360' logos on it creeped in front of the building. The windows rolled down and hip hop music blasted. Standing in the bed of the truck was two hot 'deported from Dinosaur Land' models wearing green swim suits and a Toad 'pimp' with oversized clothes, gold chains, and shutter sunglasses.
"YO YO YO!" he screamed in the megaphone. "Nintendo is for babies! Buy a Xbox 360, losers!!!"
"I gotta stop saying things that kick off events," Luigi muttered. "Right, Mario? Bro. Bro???"
Luigi saw that the 'blast processing' or whatever the slogan was for the Xbox 360 had broken Mario out of his stupor. Mario glared at the Microsoft representatives, the 'true gamers' as they'd want impressionable patrons to believe, with his fists balled. Luigi suddenly remembered that the one of the few things that made Mario lose his temper was console wars.
"Mommy mommy, I wanna Xbox now!" one goomba child whined to their parent.
The drowsy parent blinked a few times. "Dear, is it cheaper..."
"Uh, I dunno. But we can go to the store right now and not wait in line- hey mommy why are you dragging me away so fast?!"
After that, several others in line abandoned it and scattered off to buy an expensive console that had in its defense been out for a year already.
"Hey, Underboss?" one of the Piantas shouted from the window of the mobster car. "How about one of-" The Underboss aimed his Super Scope at him. "Never mind Underboss, heh heh!"
Mario shrugged. "They were traitors anyway. Oh look, we're 34th in line or something now!"
Luigi checked the clock. 7:50. "Oh yes, but not good enough. Why don't I say something to kick off the next event? Oh I wonder what could happen now-"
Just then an sleek looking 'piano black' sports car with a single modest PlayStation logo on the hood and ‘SONY’ license plate pulled up. It parked behind the mobster car but it did so politely and with class. Out of it stepped a Lakitu and a Wiggler in a tux, dressed like they were ready for a five star club in a Jelectro Bond movie.
"Hello fellow gamers. We want to present to you the next level of entertainment," the Lakitu spoke in a low voice.
The Wiggler opened a briefcase to reveal a shiny new 60 gb PlayStation 3 and held it out to everyone, resulting in a few "oohs" and "ahhs".
"Yes, you see, this console can do it all; the ultimate multimedia machine. Games, CDs, movies, internet, wifi, 'Blu-ray'-"
"What's that?" someone from the crowd asked.
"It is..." suddenly the Lakitu's eyebrows furrowed. "Er, well it's a disk thingy."
"Like what, a game?" Mario asked suspiciously.
"A video format,” the Wiggler answered.
"So like a DVD then. Won’t I have to repurchase my entire collection?"
The Lakitu and Wiggler stared at each other for a moment before the Wiggler spoke again. "True, but it's better than those ancient other discs- it'll be the only thing on shelves. Plus the PS3 has already been out for a week!"
Mario face palmed, but that explanation was enough to convince several more people to drop out of line. Mario would have protested farther but once he saw that he was now the 20th person in line, he was his giddy self again. It was 7:59 and both competitor cars were gone.
"Weegee!" Mario cheered, grabbing Luigi by the shoulders. "I told you, didn't I?!"
Luigi avoided his gaze, a shy smile creeping on his own face. "I guess so, big bro. I was wrong to doubt you.."
"But that's okay," Mario sang, "cause we're gonna have a Wii party with the twentieth and last Wii!"
"...Underboss, you hear dat?"
"I do hear dat. Dis Mario sure thinks he's a funny guy."
Mario and Luigi froze in their embrace, a certain analogy involving all of the bricks they broke yesterday coming to mind.
"Get dat Mario wise guy!" Underboss commanded.
The moment the car doors opened, Luigi tackled the Underboss to the ground before he could pull the Super Scope from his jacket. His fedora flew off and stringy grey hairs flopped around.
Luigi pinned the pianta's arms down in swift motion. "You will never hurt my brother!"
Instead of resisting, he seized up. "Ow! The green one knew 'bout my bad hip.."
The crowd cheered but as much as Luigi wished it was over him, it was actually because the clock struck 8 AM.
"Underboss!?!" his goons screamed in unison. They crowded around Luigi, ignoring Mario for the moment.
"Luigi?" Mario called. Suddenly a claim ticket was thrust into his hand by a tired looking Toys R Us employee; the last ticket. Droves of people dispersed from the store while a considerably smaller group pranced inside as if their beige colored ticket was a golden one. Mario was tempted to join them, but with his brother being surrounded by gangsters who could and would snap either of them like a twig, there were more important matters.
Mario stood behind the gangsters. "Step away from my brother. It's me you want."
"No, it's an medic I want!" Underboss said, his voice now hoarse.
Mario pulled Luigi away from the pianta ‘mosh pit’. "Thanks for that. Are you okay?"
"Uh yeah, I'm all here. I thought I'd turned invisible for a moment...Is that the Wii ticket?!"
"Yeah. Whatta bout that Wii?" one mobster asked as the other two helped the Underboss up.
"Forgettaboutit. We can, ugh! ....Follow one of these suckers and...'convince' em to hand one over!"
"No!" Mario screamed. "I mean, here." He handed the ticket to the Underboss.
Luigi started. "Bro, that's the last ticket, right?"
Mario breathed deeply. "It is, but no one needs to get hurt over this and your boss or whatever did technically stand in line so it not like you guys completely cheated. Besides, I did lie when I shouldn't have. Take it. Let your grandson enjoy his launch day Wii.."
Underboss stared silently for a few seconds, enough to give even Mario the chills. "Walk me to em," he finally said.
"What, Underboss?" The gangster to the right asked.
"Walk. Me. To. Em." The gangsters helped him take a few painful steps up closer to Mario. "It's Mario, right?"
Mario nodded slowly.
"You a real man, you know dat? I know we're scary, and rightly so- I would skin youse any other day! But we know selflessness when we see it. Your brother almost whacked me, but you're alright. Know dat?”
Mario opened his mouth but no words came out.
"He is," Luigi said. He put his arm around Mario, realising then that he was trembling but doing well hiding it. Luigi always admired Mario's ability to hide fear.
"Now Larry, get dat Wii. We'll be in the car."
"Yes, Underboss!" 'Larry' replied as the mobster retreated to their car.
Mario silently turned to Luigi to fist bump. "Glad no one got hurt, well aside from him. But we have no Wii. Sorry I dragged you out here for nothing.."
The two brothers were about to walk away when a Toad girl clerk went “psst” from the front door.
"Are you talking to us?" Mario asked.
The employee nodded. "Didn't I hand you a ticket and not those mob bozos?"
Mario shrugged. "You have to compromise for the sake of peace sometimes."
She gave the brothers a surprised look and then motioned them to walk inside. The store was eerily quiet and clean to be a toy store. "I understand now what you did there, so I got something for you." She handed Mario a large paper bag containing a Wii.
"What?" both brothers exclaimed.
"Shh! There wasn't really twenty. All of us employees got one and that one is mine."
"But don't you want your Wii?" Mario whispered, still staring stupidly at the bag.
"Nah, Xbox is better..."
Mario's eye twitched.
"He means, thank you!" Luigi said quickly.
....
That morning the Mario brothers came home with a Nintendo Wii, dropped its bag on the couch, and headed straight for their bedroom. Luigi also vowed to keep it a secret that he'd dabbled with an original model Xbox over Daisy's a few times, before his eyes became glued shut once again.
Next time: The experience...