Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Fili? Fili where are you?”  You were stuck out in the middle of the forest again.  The Princes would drag you away from the safety of the mountains every once and a while.  But, they would never leave your side.  This time however, they were nowhere to be seen.  “Kili, this isn’t funny anymore.”  Your voice was distant, and you felt the fear consume you as the sounds around you had suddenly stopped.  You felt your body begin to shake, the only noise in your surrounding was your heaving breathing.  The snap of a twig behind you had you sprinting in the opposite direction.  Your legs pumped as fast as you could make them go.  The adrenaline coursed through you as the edge of the forest came into sight.  You were feet away when something grabbed your boot.  You tumbled to the forest floor.  Twigs and leaves getting tangled in your skirts.  A low chuckle came from behind you, and you rolled on to your back in seconds.  “You!  You horrid little-”

You were cut off by a disproving sigh moving towards you.  Kili backed away before you could finish, the sigh turned to a scolding growl moving closer above you.  “Uncle, we didn’t mean anything by it.  It was just a harmless prank-"

“Fili?”  Thorin boomed through the trees.  Fili jumped down from one nearby, and moved over to his brother, then bent down to help you up.  You shot him a stone cold glare as he reached his hand out to you.  “What would possess the two of you to harm your sister like this?”  Thorin ushered you towards him, you obeyed and he checked you for injuries.  You had a few minor scrapes and scratched of you face, arms, and knees but nothing worth fretting over.  Thorin let out a relieved breathe.

“We were just having a bit of fun.  She does this sort of thing all the time!”  Kili was the only one talking.  You and Fili knew better.  But, Kili was the youngest and still had some things to learn.  “It would be best if you would stop digging your hole deeper, Kili.”  Thorin was obviously fed up with the three of you and your shenanigans.  It was the third time this week he had to stop another “prank” before it got too out of hand.  Kili held his tongue.

Thorin glanced down at you.  “So Y/N, do you have anything to add?”  You shook your head.  You had deserved what they had done since you had dyed Filis’ tunics pink, and had put a snake in Kilis’ boot.  The snake was harmless and easily fixed, but Filis’ shirts were permanent.  But in your defense he had deserved it since he cut your hair a good five inches shorter and snipped a few of your braids off.

It was a never ending cycle between the three of you.  But between you and Fili had been the worst.  You were twins, and were supposed to share and inseparable bond.  But, since Kili showed up, you had been pushed aside to be the sibling they forgot about.  So you started to prank him, then it just went on from there between all of you.

“I’m sure your mother will want to hear about this.”  Thorin was not amused in the slightest.  All three of you went pale.  The color drained completely from your faces.  You mother would surly blame you for starting it, again; and you would get the most punishment for it.  You shook your head franticly.  “Please Uncle don’t tell her.”  Your tone barely audible as you begged him to keep it between the four of you.  He had a soft spot for you, and you could only assume you were his favorite.  His face lightened up a little at your voice and how shaky it was.  Fili and Kili looked to you, knowing full well that you and only you could get them out of trouble.  “It was nothing.  Harmless fun.  See?  Everyone’s fine, please don’t tell her.”  You tried to regain some of the strength in your voice. 

“Just this once Y/N.”  He shook his head and held out a large hand.  You took it gratefully as he led you out of the forest, Fili and Kili trailing behind.  Both letting out a sigh of relief in unison.  They owed you one, and they knew it.

Chapter Text

You sat by the fire as the company talked amongst them-selves around you.

This was a mistake. Why did I agree to come in the first place?

You picked at your stew, losing you appetite as the thoughts of home flooded your mind. Your eyes kept glancing back up at Fili. He had been the reason you agreed to come with on the stupid quest. You felt like you had always felt something for your friend deep down; but you hadn’t realized until recently. You feared the rejection that was bound to follow. Fili and Kili had been your best friends since you all were dwarflings. But, feelings for the fair haired dwarf had started to emerge when other girls had started to try and take him away from you. You were insanely jealous of them, when there was no reason to be because he would always find his way back to you. The other girls never won. You had just started to see him in a different light and it made you uneasy.

Kili moved over to you and sat too close. He nudged your shoulder with his chin. “Hey, Y/N? Something the matter?” He had been fine tuned in to your feelings, always knowing when something was on your mind. “No, I’m fine.” Your tone was flat, and you knew he wouldn’t buy it, he never did. But it was worth a try. “You can tell me.”

You looked over to see his large dark eyes searching you for what had ailed you so. “Really.” You tried to reassure him, he still didn’t buy it. But he left you alone. Knowing all too well when you didn’t want to talk. Sometimes he knew what you wanted before you did. But he didn’t pick up on how you felt for his brother. This, in some aspect was a good thing.

You placed the bowl down, knowing one of the others would finish it for you. You made your way to your bedroll. You had placed it as far away as Thorin would allow, which hadn’t been far enough. Especially since Fili and Kili had refused to stay away during the night. Probably out of fear for your safety. They knew full well that you could protect yourself, and that you were a true warrior. It was in your blood and you were capable of beating both of them in a fight. But it hadn’t stopped them.

Fili had noticed you place your food down and walk away to the other side of the camp. He kept his eyes on you as he picked up your bowl and followed you. You jumped when you turned around, not aware he was standing right behind you. He held out you bowl, but you motioned it away. “You need to eat Y/N.” He pushed the bowl back towards you. “I’m not really hungry. Give it to Ori or something.” You plopped down on your makeshift bed. And pulled your blanket over your legs. “We have a long journey ahead of us. I’m not going to let you starve yourself.”

You scoffed at his comment. “Who said anything about anyone starving themselves? I just said I wasn’t hungry.” You snapped, but you instantly regretted it. He placed the bowl by your side and walked away back towards the group, showing the hurt he felt in his walk back. “Great…” You let out a sigh.

You tried to get comfortable. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours, thoughts one the honey haired brother plagued your mind. The company had slowly started to settle in for the night. The fire was glowing faintly and the sound of the still night filled the camp. Kili had moved his bedroll closer to you. It was beginning to get colder and your blankets weren’t very thick. So you had occasionally shared blankets with Kili when the cold became too unbearable, even for you. You assumed Fili was on watch when he never came over to his bed. You poked Kili in the cheek lightly. He stirred with a muffled “what.”

“Is Fili on watch tonight?” You whispered.

Kili’s eyes opened, “No, why?” Now partially awake and curious as to why you were asking.

“He never came over.” You whispered a little softer.

“He’s probably just staying up with Bofur to help.” Kili said, drifting back off into sleep. You nudged him again a little harder. “I think he’s mad at me.” Your tone was a little louder this time. Kili opened his eyes fully and shifted on to his side facing you. “Why would he be mad at you?” You could tell he was fighting off his drowsiness and you felt bad, but you needed to talk and you knew he would listen. “I snapped at him earlier. It was stupid. But I didn’t mean it; he should know me well enough to know I didn’t mean it.” You paused, not wanting to give away the feelings that consumed you of his older brother.. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately is all. But it’s not excuse.”

“Well go on. Tell me.” He was still struggling to keep his eyes open, so you just shrugged him off. “No, never mind. Go back to sleep, sorry for waking you.” You stood up before he could protest. And he rolled back over on his back, and fell back a sleep in seconds. You made your way to the dying fire. A plopped down on the soft ground, as close as you could get to the coals. You picked up a stick from besides you and prodded at the embers.

“Can’t sleep lass?” Bofur was sitting across the fire; you jumped a little at the break in the silence, not realizing he was so close. “Yeah.” You said as you continued to move the coals around. “What’s on your mind?” He was just trying to be helpful, but you shrugged him off. “It’s nothing; I just couldn’t get comfortable is all.”

You heard rustling from the trees behind you and you jumped up. Bofur laughed quietly under his breath when Fili emerged from the trees. “Y/N what are you doing up?”

“Can’t sleep.” You replied. He sat down next to you, closer than you would have liked so you scooted over away from him. But he just moved in closer. “What’s the matter with you? You love snuggling.” He threw you puppy dog eyes and you couldn’t help but smile. “That’s my girl.” He said as he moved even closer. Not knowing how he was affecting you. “Now, tell me Y/N. Why aren’t you asleep…really.” He knew you all too well to know when you were lying. But you weren’t keen on telling him while Bofur was sitting just a few feet away. Your eyes shot from Bofur back to Fili unconsciously. Fili noticed and quickly stood, taking you with him. “Where are-“ Was all you could get out before he dragged you away from the safety of the fire and to the tree line.

“Now, tell me what’s going on with you. You’ve been acting very strange…well more strange than normal, since we left.”   You couldn’t make out his face completely, but you were sure that he had a smug smile across his face. So you punched him lightly in the shoulder. But you hadn’t hit his shoulder. Your aim had been vastly off in the dark, more than it should have been. You socked him in the jaw.

“What was that for?” He rubbed his jaw with his hand, and you froze. “I’m... I’m so sorry. I thought it was your shoulder but... But I guess I missed.” You were blushing profusely. And before you could process it, you felt his lips collide with yours. It was all passion. Before you could react he pulled away, you let out a small mewl in protest. “I know why you couldn’t sleep.” He stated in the dark, you could have sworn in the dim lighting of the moon he was a deep shade of red, but it could have been your eyes playing tricks on you. “Is that so?” You questioned.

“Yes. I just wanted to get you away from the fire so I could do this.” Before you got a chance to reply his lips crashed on yours once more. He pulled away and brought his lips to your ear. His moustache tickling your neck. “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”          

Chapter Text

You sat alone in your shop listening to the lunch rush outside. You had flipped the sign on your door that said you were closed before you made your way to the front counter to have your lunch. You could hear the vendors outside yelling all sorts on nonsense about ‘fresh produce’ and ‘bread baked just this morning.’ You knew some of the vendors personally, and knew that they sold items from the day before as well as fresh ones. Just some of them though, most of them were honest, hardworking people, men and dwarves alike.

You took a bite out of your sandwich and as you pulled it away from your mouth you heard the bell on the door ring. You looked up to see the back of him. His midnight hair pulled back in a few large braids, he always wore it down so it struck you as odd. “Now there’s something I never thought I’d see.” You laughed as you put your food back on the counter. You stood up and faced the dwarf who was resting his forehead on your door. “Sorry Sir, but we are closed. But you can come back in about a half hour.” Your tone was light and playful, but a long sigh left the figure resting on your door. He turned around, pressing his back against it. “You have no idea how busy it is out there.” His voice was stressed, you could hear it. But his voice wasn’t the only thing that gave him away, his body was tense and his hair was… well it wasn’t pretty, no wonder why he had it tied back.

Those mesmerizingly blue eyes locked with yours. It was as if all the air had been sucked from the room and you tried to catch your breathe. You shut your eyes for a moment to compose yourself, cursing him for still having this effect on you. You motioned for him to come away from the door and you pulled a chair up next to yours behind the counter. “Tell me what’s on your mind, my King.” You kept your voice soft. You placed a hand on his thigh lightly and he covered it with his own large, rough one.

“I do not wish to burden you with it.” All of the stern, hard features you were used too had disappeared. You could see the bags under his eyes. The weight of ruling was taking its toll. “The books and I are the only ones here. And I’m certain that we won’t feel burdened at all. Please, tell me what’s wrong.” You tried to joke, making the situation as light as possible. You rubbed your hand on his thigh, easing some of the tension built up in it.

“How has your day been? I remember you telling me you got a new group of books in, have any of them sold?” He was changing the subject. He had been doing it quite often when he visited you and didn’t wish to speak of his day. And yet again, you went along with him. If he didn’t want to talk about it you wouldn’t push him. So you smiled, “No, business just hasn’t been the same since the pastry shop opened next door. People just aren’t interested in books as much as they are sweets. Just ask your nephews.” You got him to laugh at that, which made you beam even more. It had been so long since you’ve seen him laugh. You moved your hand and strategically placed yourself on his lap so you were straddling him. “I’ve missed you.” You placed your lips by his ear, nibbling on it lightly.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He breathed out as you worked your way down his neck, placing small kisses downwards. Finding his pulse point, you kissed it gingerly. You felt him melt underneath you.

You began to slowly rock your hips and could feel the bulge in his trousers grow and harden. You continued to places kisses on his neck and one of your hands snaked around in front of you, passing by him unnoticed. You slowly moved your hand downwards and edged yourself on his body so you could have more room between you. You found the ties on his trousers and danced your fingers across them to find his hardening member. You had found it, placing your hand on it ever-so-lightly, you felt him buck underneath you at the touch. You began to palm him through the fabric and you were rewarded with strained moans breaching his lips.

“Y/N?” His voice was a whisper.

“Yes?” You answered, pulling yourself away from his neck and facing him, your hand stilled but your hips continued to rock. You moved yourself closed once again, closing the space between you.

“I’ve missed you as well.” A small smile escaped him, and you hadn’t noticed that he had untied your dress from the back. You were too preoccupied with your own actions. You felt the dress go loose as it slipped down exposing your torso. Thorin let out an animalistic growl at the sight of you and you felt your face heat up at the sound. He brought his hands up to still your hips, then he picked you up off of his lap with ease and placed you down. You stood before him still red-faced. His eyes locked with yours as you felt the dress fall completely off with little trouble. He let the hold on your eyes go as his started to wander across your now exposed form. You felt his eyes stop at your breasts, and the rosy buds formed into taut peaks under his stare. Your lips parted as you took in a small quick breath, and his eyes flashed back up to yours for a moment before taking in the rest of your glorious curves.

Your eyes fell to his tented trousers, and without thinking you began to move towards him. It had been so long since you felt his touch, his body. He was a drug to you; and you knew that it was the same for him. You had an unbreakable bond that tethered you together, for better or worse. Your fingers gracefully, and swiftly untied his trousers and they pooled around his feet, releasing him from the confinements, you heard him let out a sigh.

You positioned yourself so you had full advantage over him, and continued to move forward until the back of his knees hit the chair and he plopped down. His eyes were dark and full of lust as he anticipated your next move. He was still wearing too much so you stripped him of his tunic. You stood back after throwing it to the floor with the rest of the garments and took him in. “You are beautiful.” You purred.

“I am nowhere near my best and yet you tell me so. This is why you are mine and no one else shall ever experience the unconditional love that you so plainly have for me.” His eyes never left yours; he continued to speak as you moved closer to him. “And no one else shall ever have my unconditional love but you, for I am yours.” His last words sent heat flooding through your core; you knelt down in front of him and scrapped your nails lightly down his thighs. You took one hand from his thigh and gripped his hot, thick member. As you slowly stroked your hand up, you could feel him tense under your touch. You continued to pump him at a moderate pace, your mouth close enough that your breath caused his hips to arch up slightly urging you to touch him more. You flicked your tongue over the tip and you worked your hand back up his length.

You could feel yourself dripping down your thigh and you moved your free hand down between legs. Thorin’s head was back and his eyes were shut as he took in the sensations. You rubbed yourself as you lowered your lips around the head, sucking on it, applying slight pressure. His head sprung forward in surprise and his eyes locked on to your fingers that were motioning in circles around the bud between your legs. You started to sink down around his length with your mouth when you were pulled free with a loud pop and quickly placed in the chair opposite his. Before you could protest that you were just getting starting he spread your thighs open and you watched as his head lowered between them.

You felt his hot breath on the inside of your leg and it sent shivers through you. You spread your legs wider eagerly wanting him to touch you. But he took his time. You felt a rough digit caress your folds as he worked his way to the sensitive bundle of nerves. You could feel his thumbs part you as he leaned forward. You let out a soft moan as a think finger slowly thrust into you, you clenched around it. His lips connected with the small pearl sending a burst of pleasure through you. He watched you as he curled the finger inside you thrusting and brushing up onto the spot that made your vision go white with pleasure every time.

He slipped another thick digit inside, you knew you weren’t going to last with the way his fingers were thrusting inside of you, still curled and hitting your weak spot, and his tongue that flicked against your bud. He could sense you were close, so he clamped his mouth down and began to suck you as his fingers picked up the pace causing you to see stars. Your hands flew to his head and weakly tried to push him back. But your efforts were to no avail. He kept working you until you were convulsing against his hand and mouth, your whole body responded to the pleasure that pulsed through you. When the sensations became too much he pulled away and balanced on his heels looking over your pleasure-ridden body. A sheen veil of sweat covered your brow and you looked down at him, weakly and smiled.

He was giving you a wickedly mischievous smile, “Don’t think that I’m done with you just yet.” Your body shivered in response, and you could feel your arousal returning. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” You retorted, with an equally wide grin on your glowing face.              

Chapter Text

You opened the door to your home, but when you entered you saw that Thorin hadn’t come home yet, all the lights were off. It was almost 10:00, you had been held back by your boss again.

He had been on your ass constantly since you received the promotion of your dreams. You had worked so hard to be the new executive editor of the publishing firm you worked for. It took you years to work your way up and two weeks ago everything you had done paid off. But, your boss was still a prick and you still hated him, now more than ever. He had you stay overtime to finish the current projects you were working on, every night this week.

Thorin never mentioned his opinions on this, which hadn’t surprised you, since he had been distance lately anyway. But you understood, the company that had taken him in by chance was now laying off a handful of people, you and Thorin knew that he would most likely be one of the ones that got let go because of his low seniority. He was a gifted craftsman, and what he could do when his pencil hit paper blew your mind. He was also very skilled at designing and crafting the elaborate jewelry that the company sold. Thorin had always been fond of metals and gemstones, so when he found an opening position near your publication firm it had been perfect.

But, that company was going bankrupt. The jewelry they were producing was custom, and Thorin was only one man. He couldn’t keep up with the demand, so his stress level had matched yours. This made you both irritable and unpleasant to be around.

You slipped out of your heels; the cold floor of the tile soothed the pain that had accumulated in your feet throughout the day. You padded to the kitchen and flipped on the light to see that Thorin had been home, at least for a bit. He made you supper and left it out on the counter. There was note by the bowl of pasta that had dried out from sitting out to long.

Here’s supper. Went to pub. Don’t wait up.

You let out an aggravated sigh. You heard footsteps coming from down the hall and you held your breath for a moment, before seeing your nephew stumble into the kitchen. Wincing at the lights Kili made his way to the cupboard for a glass. “You’re home late…again.” He rubbed his eyes before looking at you. “And you slept in? You’re usually up by the time I get home.” You countered.

Kili was staying in your spare bedroom while his apartment building got renovated. He worked the night shift at the supermarket a few blocks away. “Uncle was here about an hour ago.” He began, obviously feeling uncomfortable about something. “And?” You urged him to continue. You wanted to know what your husband had done while you were at work, since you couldn’t ask him yourself.

“He was yelling at the cat again. Weird thing though, he said the cat was cheating on him and that he was sick of its shit.” Kili showed clear concern for your relationship with Thorin. “Aunt Y/N, was he referring to you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Kili; I would never think to do such a thing to your Uncle.” You paused, “I love him more than you could possibly imagine.” Your eyes dropped to the floor but shot up when you heard the front door slam. Kili hurried to get his cup of water before making himself scarce. You didn’t blame him; you knew that no good would come of what was bound to happen next.

Heavy footsteps made their way to the kitchen, seeking out the reason as to why the kitchen was now full of light. You assumed he saw your discarded bag and heels by the door, because you could sense there was more anger in the footsteps, they were deliberately loud. You braced yourself on the counter, your back to the direction he was coming from, you leaned over the sink. You felt his eyes on you when the footfalls went silent. He didn’t speak; he only glared at your back. You felt him burn holes into your shoulders with his stare. You shifted uncomfortably before facing him, knowing he was going to look like shit. You reluctantly turned only to see that you were right.

His short midnight hair had stuck up everywhere; the slight streaks of silver were lost under the mess. The bags under his blood shot eyes made your stomach twist in pain. His normally tidy tucked in shirt was sticking out in places, his jeans stained with what you assumed was alcohol. You hated to see him this way. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He beard was unkempt. He looked a wreck. You tried to hold back the tears that began to well up in your eyes. You loved this man more than you valued your own life, and to see him this way, in the horrible state he was in caused you to feel a pain that you had never felt before. “You need to sleep, love.” You whispered, he still hadn’t said anything. So you decided to break the silence first. “Thank you for supper by the way, I’m starved. Steve had me stay late again and I missed lunch earlier.”

That got his attention. It wasn’t the mention of you not eating, but the mention of your boss. Steve. “To busy to eat. Busy with him.” His tone was venomous and cold. You had never seen him like this, it had scared you. “No, I was busy working on the many new responsibilities that come along with my new position.” You spoke your words carefully. “Like screwing Steve?” He was shouting now, and wasn’t trying to be subtle. You could tell that this wasn’t an out of the blue thought. He had truly believed you were sleeping with your boss, for god knows how long. “There is NO WAY that you got that promotion so quickly without doing something! No way on this earth!” He though you got promoted by-

“You have no idea what your insinuating. For you to think that I would ever do something like that… to do that to you… you obviously don’t know me Thorin. For the five years… FIVE years we have been married... And we’ve been together for much longer...so much longer. You should know by now that I would never, ever, do such a thing…” You let your tears fall down your cheeks; you knew that there was no use in holding them in.

“You lying whore! I know your fucking him behind my back! I can smell him on your clothes when you get home!” His voice grew even louder, he face turned red with anger from lack of oxygen as he continued on; you thought he was going to pass out. “You come home at ridiculous hours of the night, you managed to get a job that people spend decades to try and get, you smell like another man, and you decided to spend as much time away from me as possible! Anyone else in my situation would think the same Y/N!”

You were speechless; he was being maliciously cruel in his accusations. This was a side of him that you had never seen before and you were frightened. Your body started to slightly shake of its own accord, the tear fell from your eyes even more, and you tried to furiously blink them away but that just made your vision worse and your eyes sting. “Get out.” You had managed to muster out. Your voice was shaky.

“Not until you tell me, not until I know.” His tone was still icy, but he had begun to breathe again, his face lightened. “The fact that you even think that I would…I haven’t.” You were quiet, trying to stop the tears from falling. He moved over to you and gripped your shoulders tightly. You felt a twinge of pain shoot down your arms. His grip would bruise. He had never laid a hand on you before, you let out started breathe at his actions. Then you heard a muffled yell from behind you.

You wriggled out of your husband’s grip and faced Kili. His face was pale, “Kili, honey, I think it’s time for you to go to work. Do you need a ride? Thorin will take you. He was just leaving.” You had tried to gain some control over your voice, but it wasn’t much. It was still shaky as you spoke. Kili just nodded, too afraid to say anything on what he had just seen. He went to the front door, bypassing the kitchen and Thorin’s glare. You turned back to him, “Go. Don’t come back.” You felt your heart sink and shatter as the words left your lips. But you knew that there was no coming back from this argument. He had physically and emotionally hurt you. You could never forgive him for that.

~~~

He left without saying another word to you. You could see in his eyes that he was still distraught and angry. But frankly, you didn’t care at the moment. He had accused you of infidelity, called you hurtful names, and physically hurt you. You slumped down to the floor, letting everything out of you. You sat there, sobbing and screaming for what felt like hours. It had been at least that since you were still there when Kili got home. He walked into the kitchen to find you there. He knelt beside you wiping the stains from your cheeks. “How did you get home?” You asked him, your voice hoarse from yelling. He looked at you with wide eyes, “Uncle drove me. He asked me to tell you that he’s sorry.”

“No he didn’t.” You caught him in his lie, and he looked down out of embarrassment. “No, but he didn’t mean what he said. And he really didn’t mean to hurt you. He’s just stressed out because he lost that job at the jewelry place and he didn’t wasn’t to tell you.” You didn’t have anything in response. You knew why he wouldn’t have told you. He thought you were sleeping with your boss, the last thing he would have wanted to do was tell you he got laid off. “Is he still outside?” it was the only thing you could manage to say. “No, he left as soon as I got out.”

“Do you know where he went?” You asked a little concerned for what he might do. “No, he didn’t say a word to me. To be honest I’m surprised he picked me up.” He said back, helping you off the floor.

“He won’t be back. I’ve lost him forever.” Your tone was void of emotion as Kili ushered you to your room. “He will, just give him some time to realize what he’s done. He’ll be back on his knee begging for your forgiveness.” He tried to ease you, but you knew and he knew that Thorin was as stubborn as they come and would not so easily admit his wrong doing. “Just get some rest Aunt Y/N, you’ll need it if you plan on going into work tomorrow.”

Work, you didn’t want to think about it. It was the cause of this mess. All you wanted to do was reach your goal and it led to the fight and you kicking Thorin out. Steve and his incessant badgering over you and your work, which was always flawless, was the reason you were in this mess. But, you could confront your boss with your marital problems caused by the job. So you just slipped into bed, giving Kili a nod signaling you would be fine. He left the room, shutting the door behind him. You were alone once again. Silent tears rolled over your red cheeks as you drifted into an uneasy slumber.

~~~        

You woke up with a start to your alarm blaring in your ear. You had slept in your clothes from yesterday; you got out of bed reluctantly as you headed to the bathroom. “Not today. Please not today.” The faucet in your shower had been on the fritz, Thorin had been the one to fix it every time it acted up. You let out a sigh of relief when the water turned on without a fuss. “Thank you.” You said up to the sky as you undressed and entered the shower. The hot water soothed your tense muscles and you took your time lathering the soap into your scalp and body. Once you had used all the hot water you stepped out and wrapped a towel around you, then dried your hair. The shower had been refreshing, but it hadn’t washed away the events from last night.

Once you got dressed, and your hair dried and in a bun, that was professional enough for today, you headed to the kitchen.   There you saw multiple stacks of blueberry pancakes, freshly squeezed orange juice, and heated cinnamon maple syrup on the counter with a note beside them that said:

I know you. I know you didn’t do anything.   I’m sorry.

Thorin had been in the house, he made you your favorite breakfast. But he was nowhere to be seen. Was this his form of an apology? “No.” You said under your breath as you picked up the note and crumpled it before throwing it in the trash bin. You opted to steer clear of the breakfast he made, knowing he would come back even though you kicked him out. It was his house too. You left the breakfast untouched as you made a pot of coffee before heading out the door. While you waited for it to brew you left Kili a note.

Kili, do NOT touch the food. Make your own. See you when I get home. –Love Auntie

You knew he would eat it anyway, but at least you tried. You went out to your car to see that there was a bouquet of white daisies. They were your favorite. You picked them up and another note fell to the seat.

I know you and I love you. I’m sorry.

You crumpled this note in the same manner and threw it in the driveway. But, you kept the flowers and placed the on the passenger’s seat. He was breaking back into your house and breaking into your car. You thought about the other places he could have possibly gone to too leave you things. Then you thought about the firm. He could have easily broken into there and you rushed to get to work. “No. Not there.” You said to yourself as you pulled into the parking lot. If he had broken in there with the thought that you had slept with your boss, he could have done much more than just leave petty notes. Sure enough there were broken windows on the ground floor. The police entering and exiting the building. You parked and left your car with hesitation. One of the officers saw you approaching, “Mam, I’m afraid the building is shut down. There was a break in last night and we are currently searching the premise for any indication of theft.

You knew they would find none. So you nodded in acknowledgment and headed back to your car, cursing under your breathe. “Damn it Thorin.” You reached your car and found yet another note on the seat.

You suppressed the smile that wanted to work its way out. The more concerning thought was that he was following you. You circled around looking for any sign of his car or him and found none. “What the hell Thorin? If you think that this will get me to accept your apology you are sadly mistaken. There is no way you are coming home, no way.” You got in your car and drove off. You just kept driving with no particular destination in mind. You didn’t want to go home, but you didn’t know where else to go. You pulled up into any empty lot and just sat in your car. You kept it running as you sat in the silence.

“You don’t deserve me. For you to be so simple minded. I never…I love you, but the way you reacted to nothing? It was foolish.” You were talking to yourself, but you were addressing him. Even though he wasn’t there you wished he was so you could just sort everything out, but you were just as stubborn as him, you wouldn’t give into his, frankly weak, apologies. He had to do much better or he was going to lose you for good.

Then you heard a car pull up next to yours. Thorin stepped out, looking much better than last night, and tapped on your passenger side window. You hesitated before rolling it down, but you did. Not all the way however. The widow stopped half way and he looked at you expectantly. “How long?” You asked knowing full well he knew what you meant. “Two weeks.” His blue eyes were concealing the emotions he so desperately tried to keep in. “So since I got the promotion…”

He nodded in agreement. “Why?” You asked, even though he had already told you in a fit of rage last night. You wanted to hear him say it now, when he was somewhat calm. “Can I come in?” He asked holding his arms against his chest, signaling it was cold out. You shook your head. “No.”

He let out a sigh of defeat. “I don’t know what I was thinking. You would come home at all hours of the night, smelling like another man. You got the promotion you worked so hard for. And I was so proud of you, but it seemed like you got it too easily. My mind just though you must have done something else and I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help it. The stress that they put on me at work was just too much. I am so sorry Y/N. You have to know that.”

You unlocked the doors and he slid in. “Why did you smell like him?” He was so hurt, you could see that much, even though you had told him that you hand done anything, a part of him still doubted you and you could see that too. “Steve has no concept of personal space. There is nothing going on, there never was and there never will be. I promise you this. You are the one thing I would never risk to loose. Ever.”

You still hadn’t completely accepted his apologies; you didn’t think that there would be a part of you that ever could. He still had a long way to go to gain your acceptance. You never forgot that he had placed his hands on you like that, or the foul things he had said to you. But the small step you made in letting him into your car had allowed you to forgive him a little. And every action he would take in proving that he was sorry would gain a little forgiveness every time.  

Chapter Text

“Bofur, come on! We’re gunna be late!” You were running through the crowds, dodging elbows and feet. The crowded bodies packed in the market place made it almost impossible for him to follow. “Slow down, Y/N!” He called to you between the masses. You had heard him but you were so close, only a few for seconds and you would be out of the crowd. “Bofur hurry it’s starting! I can hear the music!” You slowed when you exited the crowd and waited for him to catch up with you.

“Lass… I’m sure it’s no big deal… if we’re a few… minutes late.” His breathing was labored after running. You lightly punched him in the shoulder, “It IS a big deal! It’s Prince Fili’s birthday. That’s something we can’t be late for.” You grabbed his hand and rushed towards in the direction of the music. The impossibly tall stone doors were propped open; the music grew louder along with the laughter and yelling inside. “See, we’re late.” You gestured towards the noise, a visible scowl on your face. “I’m sure they won’t mind.” He said with a laugh as you both entered the chaos.

“Wow…” You were speechless at the sight before you. The hall was decorated with royal blues and forest greens, dwarves were huddled and dancing left and right. It would be impossible to find Fili in the masses to wish him a happy birthday, you turned to Bofur. “We could split up-"

He cut you off, “No, no, no. If we split up I won’t find you until morning. Lass, you stay by my side…Promise?” You gave him your pouting face, “Fine. But you owe me big time mister.” You gripped his hand tightly in yours and led him in the direction of a large group of dancing dwarves. You knew Fili and knew he would be smack-dab in the middle of the bodies. “You’re a mad-woman if you think I’m going that way.” He called to you over the bustle of the party, but he still followed, holding your hand tight. “Shush, it’ll be fun!” You called back over your shoulder.

You weaved through the bodies with ease, guiding Bofur along with you; every now and again he would squeeze your hand when the crowd closed in on you both. You just chuckled. He was never the shy sort, he had always loved parties, and it was odd to see him this way. So, you tried to coax him out of the bubble he was letting close around himself.

You had made it to the heart of the gathering when you saw him. Fili was dancing with vigor and what you assumed was drunkenness. You laughed out loud at the sight. The ladies were swooning around him, waiting for their turn to dance with the young Prince. You tugged Bofur along, never letting go of his hand and made your way over to Fili.

You tapped on his ever moving shoulder, “My Prince.” You bowed when he turned to face whoever was disturbing his rhythm. His eyes lit up when he saw it was you. “Y/N!” He brought you into a tight embrace. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” He yelled over the noise, lust clearly apparent in his eyes. “You saw me yesterday!” You yelled back, laughing. “Bofur! She’s got you tethered to her hip I see?” He joked then leaned in to you both. “Don’t let this one go.” You could smell the ale on his breath. Bofur could smell it too, “Why’s that Fili?” He asked, jokingly.  

You let go of his hand only to hit him. You knew that no good could come of this. “She’s a wild one! There is no other like her! So grip her tight and never let her go, ‘cus if you do, you’ll never find another in comparison!” You were a little shocked at his words. You didn’t have a comeback for them. “She’s an animal Bofur, a wild animal.” That was it; you punched Fili in the gut, hard. Then grabbed Bofur’s hand and stalked off to the closest exit. “Why are we leaving? You didn’t even wish him a happy birthday.”

“I will later, maybe when he’s sobered up some.” Your skirts swirled around you as you came to a dead stop at the exit. “Good evening Thorin.” Bofur said, Thorin nodded, “Y/N, Bofur. I saw that you found Fili.” You held you head down, even though there was no reason to. Thorin always had understood your actions, especially when it came to his nephews. “He deserved it.” You mumbled before trying to move past him. He blocked you from leaving. “Y/N, I don’t think that you should leave quiet yet. Fili wouldn’t be very happy.”

To hell with his happiness.

You thought as Thorin turned you around so you were facing Bofur and the crowd. “Go on Y/N, have some fun.” Thorin gave you a push in the direction of the pulsing bodies. You let out a sigh. Bofur held out his hand and you gladly took it as you led him through the dwarves once more. “You know he didn’t mean it, Y/N.” Bofur called as you made your way to an empty table. “He meant every word.” You called back as you moved in on the chair, snatching it before anyone else could claim it. Bofur sat in the one next to it. “What did he mean when he said you were a wild animal? Something I should worry about?” His mouth curled up in a mischievous grin. “I don’t want to talk about it. You know very well what he meant.” You were scowling, but you could feel your face redden, betraying you.

“You are something else…” He mumbled under his breath. You looked up, searching his eyes for what he had meant by the comment. Your eyes locked with his, but he was careful not to let his betray him. You on the other hand had let yours give you away. He looked into you seeing every emotion you tried so desperately to keep hidden. Desire. Love. Trust. Security. Compassion. He saw all of it, and you let him.

You had never felt any of it with Fili. Bofur was different. Fili was all force, with traces of lust. Your love for him, with him, was purely animalistic. But, with Bofur it was different, and somehow for the better. You had grown up with Fili, and it was all too easy for you both to give in to one another. You were surprised that your friendship had stayed intact after. With Bofur, you had fought alongside him, gained his trust. But, you craved him, all the while holding back your instinct to claim. Taking had been what you normally had done, you did it with Fili and you wanted so desperately to conquer Bofur. Something inside of you had stopped this feeling however. You wanted his acceptance, wanted him to lead, which was unlike you.

You had drifted far into thought; Bofur squeezed your thigh to bring you back. “Y/N? You alright?” You smiled shaking your head, “Yes, perfectly alright.” You shrugged it off. Before you could say another word he picked you up and carried you over his shoulder to the middle of the room. He held down your skirts with one arm, making sure you were decent and covered. “Bofur! Put me down!” You cried as he carried you further into the madness. “No can do lass.” His voice was low, but you had still heard him. Dwarves parted upon seeing the two of you, giggling and pointing at the sight before them.

Your face got hot under the circumstances, you would have made your way down by now, but you indulged him, eager to know what he had planned. You plucked his hat from his head and placed it on yours. “Hey!” He yelled, but you giggled at his sudden dishevelment. “You may have it back when you put me down.” You said in a sing-song voice. He laughed, “Fair enough.”

He had brought you back over to where Fili had been dancing. You made a disapproving grunt, and you felt his body shake underneath you with laughter. “Why?” You whispered in his ear. “I wanted to see something.” He put you down and whispered back.  You placed his hat back on his head with a smile. Then he grabbed your waist and started to twirl you to the music. Your skirts twisted with the movement, creating layers splayed out around you. Your hair, not tied back, moved with his movements as well. You let out a squeal as his pace quickened to the rapid tune, the group around you spread out to make room. You caught a glimpse of Fili on the side lines, his mouth agape. Bofur noticed as well and brought you to a stop. Your skirts whipped around you, you hair did the same.  You felt absolutely euphoric.  

“Mahal...” You heard him whisper, just barely. You blushed once more, and moved the hairs away from your face. Fili was by your side in an instant. “Y/N…” You turned to face him; he kept his eyes from meeting yours, which was strange. “Yes, Fili?” Bofur reached for your hand once more, Fili’s eyes fell on the action. “Never mind.” You placed a hand on his shoulder as he began to walk away. You turned him around and brought him into an uneven, one-armed hug. “Happy Birthday.” You said with a smile. Fili smiled weakly back at you, “Thank you Y/N.” Before he turned back and headed towards the ale.

“He was acting strange.” You paused, “Well, more than usual.” Bofur laughed, “Serves him right for trying to take you away from me.” You stopped. “Pardon?”

“You are mine now Y/N…” He sucked in a breath, “If you’ll have me?”

“Is that what that was back there? Asserting your dominance?” You giggled.

“I know how Fili is, and I know how you are…So yes, I was.”

You blushed once more, “I’ve been waiting …not so patiently by the way… for you to do so.”

He looked into your eyes again, this time letting his feelings through. “I know, I just didn’t know how you felt until earlier. Come on let’s get out of here?” He was unsure of his new found authority; you could hear it in his tone. You nodded, allowing him, just this once to dictate.                               

Chapter Text

Fili had pulled a ladder over to you from one of the aisle in the massive library.  Helping him with his studies that were required of him because he was next in line wasn’t what you had in mind for the day but it was better than training with Dwalin again for the fifth time this week.  You had to keep reminding yourself it was only the middle of the week. 

You pulled out a thick leather bound novel and looked back at him to find him standing taller than you by almost a half foot.  He was about average size for a Dwarf; and the last time you checked he was almost a foot smaller than you.  “That ladder is really working wonders for you.”  You chuckled then turned back to the book you had pulled out.  “After so many years of knowing you, I can never tell if you’re serious or not.”  His brow furrowed.  You saw out of the corner of your eye that he had gotten down and was now back to staring up at you.  “Why must you be so tall?”  He was smiling but you assumed he had asked the question seriously.  “Because I was born into a family with some considerably tall people.”  You paused and laughed to yourself.  “That, and I am not a Dwarf.”  You focused on the book once more, but you felt his eyes on you as you read. 

“I think this is the one Thorin wanted you to read.”  You handed him the novel.  “I will have to read over it first and go over some of the details in it with him though.”  Fili glanced through some of its pages and nodded handing it back to you.  “Oh and speaking of Thorin.  Do you have any idea why he’s having Dwalin work me so hard?  I can barely feel my arms today.”  You rolled your shoulders back, your muscles pinching as you did.  “He wants us to be prepared.  The battle for our home was not won so easily you know.  I’m guessing he doesn’t want as many casualties.”  This you understood.  You had been there; it’s how you met Thorin and his company.  “I’m just surprised that he picked me, not a Dwarf, out of all of the Dwarves to help you and train with Dwalin.”  You set the book down and looked on the shelves for another.  “You fought with us.  You saved Balin’s life.  Why wouldn’t he pick you?”  Before you could answer you heard footsteps approach from behind you.             

“Brother?”  You heard Kili walk up from your other side.  “Yes Kili?”  Fili looked around you and you followed his gaze to see the younger Dwarf with a bouquet of daisies.  “May I have a moment alone with Y/N?”  Fili looked at you and then back at his brother.  “Yes, I don’t see why not.”  He gave you a small smile and a wink before walking off to another section of the library.  “Hey Kili.”  You turned back to the dark haired Prince.  “Hello Y/N.”  He greeted back, his voice cracked a bit when he said your name.  He handed you the flowers.  “You mentioned earlier you liked daisies.”  You saw his cheeks redden.  “Thank you.”  You brought them up to your nose and took in a breath.  “They’re lovely.” 

He looked up at you with wide eyes.  “Like you.” The grin on his face spread from ear to ear.  You felt your face get hotter the longer you were silent.  You finally managed to choke out a thank you after a few agonizingly long moments.  “I don’t remember saying that I liked them recently, maybe when we first met but that was so long ago.”  You laughed, bringing the flowers up to your nose once more.  “Yes well…”  He scratched his head; “I never forgot.”  He let out a nervous laugh.  “I’ve never seen you act this way before Ki.”  You paused.  “Well, once…When you were around that Elf.  But even then you could get your words out.”  You tried to hold back your giggles. 

You looked down at the young Dwarf; this time you realized that you had really been looking at him.  You felt as though you were really seeing Kili for the first time.  “Kili, will you stand on this ladder for a moment?”  You asked and chuckled at the puzzled face he gave you. 

“Sure, Y/N.”  He agreed. 

Kili was a few inches taller than his older brother and when he stepped on the ladder that Fili had previously been on; you felt different, it was an indescribable feeling.  You thought it was something like admiration, but stronger.  “If only you were taller.”  You joked.  But you saw Kili’s face drop at hearing that.  “Not in a bad way.”  You tried to defend your comment.  “It’s just that I’m not really used to the height difference…”  You searched his eyes for something, anything but the hurt that was present and found nothing.  So, you brought your hands up and cupped his cheeks; before he could protest you locked your lips to his.  You pulled away just as he realized what was happening.  “As long as you have that ladder with you, height shouldn’t be a problem.”  You joked, picking up your book before leaving.  With the daisies in one hand and your book in the other you opted out of hugging him goodbye so instead you threw him a wink before rounding the corner off to find another section of the library. 

Fili had been snooping and was watching the actions between you and Kili unfold.  When you had walked off he emerged from behind one of the book cases.  “I can’t tell if she was insulting my height or just fooling around.  Either way I intend to show Y/N, that height is not the only thing that matters.”  Kili said to his brother as he stepped down the ladder.  “Ki, I think she knows that.”  He laughed.  “But I won’t stop you from trying to sweep her off her feet.”  He gave his brother a pat on the shoulder before leaving in the same direction you had. 

Kili had a fire under him and he was more than ready to, as his brother put it: “sweep you off your feet.”  First, he just had to figure out how to woo a woman that was a great deal taller than him; not getting that he wouldn’t have to prove anything to you.  Unbeknownst to him, you were already his.