Chapter Text
Jaime stayed by his sister, checking if she was breathing, feeling her pulse and simply willing her to wake up. But after a little more than an hour he started to see that it was useless. That his hands were tied and he was incapable of doing anything. That's when Claudia burst in with Arlenna and Aynai.
Everything was happening fast – with Aynai checking on Cersei, Claudia prepared the necessary equipments and Arlenna trying to wake her up – he could barely understand what was happening so the just kept to his sisters side.
The blond girl woke up with a start and screaming in agony after what felt like hours to Jaime.
“Cersei listen to me” the young mid wife said from her place at the end of the bed– the un formal addressing to the lady Lannister felt strange to the hand maidens present but they knew she didn't know who she was talking to. “You are labor but I'm going to try and stop it. There's a large complication happening so I need you to hold on so I can stop the bleeding before you push alright?”
Cersei was very pale and barely conscious but she managed to nod her head slightly. With Jaime’s help she sat up more on the pillows and properly opened her legs for the midwife.
After almost an hour somehow Aynai controlled the bleeding.
“Alright Cersei, I'm sorry but your already too far into this labor the baby will have to come tonight.” The mid wife said.
Cersei looked pale and tired and she could barely keep her eyes open. Jaime had spent that entire time afraid – no not afraid, terrified. She has been managing to not be too loud up to that point and he was grateful. The rest of the rock couldn't know what was happening and as terrified as he was in that moment the boy of merely ten and five – who could no longer be called a boy – knew that t would be much much worse if any one suspected what was happening.
His twin nodded her head slightly and rasped “But are they find?” When none of the women in the room said anything to the young blond girl asked more forcefully “They are fine too come tonight right?”
“Lady Cersei if they do not come tonight it might mean your life.” Arlenna said with the confidence that only a woman of her age could have. She looked unafraid with steel eyes at the girl on the bed – the girl who was clearly shaking with fear and pain but trying her hardest to hide it.
“Do you think I care? I don't. I don't care if I die. You three useless–“ Cersei suddenly cut herself of with a scream folding in herself and clutching desperately to belly.
“Cer – Cersei” She was crushing his hand as Jaime tried to calm her down “You have to try and be quite my love” he said as he tried to contain the tears in his eyes that were trying to slip out at the sight of her pain.
“Jai it hurts – and you three useless women do something! My babies, do something to save my babies!” She said trying very hard not to yell out more.
“Cersei listen to me” Aynai said “your babies are coming tonight. This is not my first time at this, you are not the first women I've gotten through child birth and I am telling you, you and you child or children are going to be alright.”
“I don't care about me.” Cersei replied and Jaime dreaded hearing what she said next “Let me die I don't care just make sure both of them live.” Then another round of unbearable pain came and she was groaning again.
It went like that for some time.
“Alright Cersei time to push.”
The pain was unbearable. She had never felt anything like it and it took biting down on a wooden spoon left there on the table that Jaime retrieved for her for her screams to be contained
“On three.” The mid wife said “one two three” Cer gripped on the bed sheets tight and pushed.
When it was over she looked at her brother and let the spoon fall from her mouth “Jai I– I can't.” She said “It hurts. It hurts too much.”
“Cersei please, you can do this alright I know you can, and then you will be able to hold your babies.” He answered her with tears streaming down his cheeks “They'll be in your arms. Safe.”
“But they won't be,” she whispered as she waited for the next round of pain and pushing “Not for long – not when father finds out” she leaned more into Jaime's arms and he noticed that the other women were trying very hard to give the siblings as much privacy as possible in that moment – which wasn't much.
“Cersei we have discussed this already.” He responded trying to stay calm – he was tiered of her doubting him “We’ll all be fine”
“No we won't –“ she started but suddenly she felt the pain again.
“Push Cersei, push!” Aynai screamed
Her handmaiden was getting in order what they would need when the baby finally came and her septa – to Cersei’s surprise – went to her vacant side and kept telling her how well she was doing.
Cersei groaned and put the spoon back in her mouth to shout. She cried and cried as she pushed.
“Your doing very well child. I remember your lady mother giving birth to both of you and your little brother” the old woman said kindly.
“You were there?” The young girl asked with a small voice and out of breath.
“Yes I was, and I believe I have never told you but you have always reminded me of her.”
With that came again the urge to push – and she did with all her might.
“That's it – that's it!” The mid wife told Cersei “the head is out just a little more – a little more come on Cersei”
She clutched at Jaime and at the bed sheets, and he though he doesn't regret the babies he can't help but blame himself for the amount of pain his sister was in. For the blood he could see staining the bed sheets even more.
“Alright Cersei just one more big push and your baby will be here.” Aynai said and so, Cersei pushed.
What in reality was a minute felt like an eternity to both Cersei and Jaime but all the wait and stress and anxiety from the last few months suddenly disappeared completely. Was forgotten completely when their first child slipped out of its mother.
The sounds of crying were immediate.
Aynai took the babe to clean it with a warm cloth before turning back to the expecting mother and father.
The midwife lifted the crying babe rapped in a blanquette for the new mother to see “You have a son Cersei.”
Her lungs deflated and tears streamed more heavily from her eyes as Cersei Lannister saw her first born for the first time. Her son.
Jaime stared in awe at the little screaming human – he had a son.
“Give me him – give me my son” The girl said.
“He's perfect.” Jaime said as the little boy was placed no his mothers chest. The babe immediately stoped crying. “Looks like he knows his mother.” He said and his son turned slightly in his direction and reached out with his tine fingers.
“Looks like he knows his father too.” The twin girl said with a smile so large it hurt her face.
The moment was interrupted by a shot of, now familiar, pain.
“Alright here we go again.” The mid wife said taking the babe and handing him over to Claudia who cradled the child trying to shush him from crying for his mother.
“Push Cersei” Aynai said as Cer cried and tried to contain her outbursts again.
“Jaime I'm so tired” she said looking to him for comfort “I can't – please not any more”
“Cer you saw our son, now let’s meet our other child?” He answered grabbing her hand.
A while latter after much effort from the blond beauty the mid wife pulled from her another babe.
But this time no cries.
Cersei waited a little to see if it started crying after the midwife took it but when a few seconds of total silence it was Jaime who spoke up first.
“What is it?” He asked rising from his spot next to his sister to get a closer looks to the new baby. Despite knowing that any disturbing or loud sounds were to be avoided, in his head was a constant ringing of ‘please cry please cry’.
He approached the women who were surrounding the babe and looked at it's little face. It's eyes were open. Lannister green.
He reached to touched its little head and suddenly it started whimpering – but not crying.
“I truly don't understand.” Said Aynai
“What?!” Exclaimed an exhausted Cersei “What don't you understand? Why isn't it crying?” Her tears fell prettily on her high cheekbones. His sisters voice snapped Jaime out of the trance he was in and wrapped the new born child in its own blanquette similar to it’s brother and held it to him.
“Cersei, its fine.” He said. He opened the fabric a bit and looked inside. He then walked back to his sister and lover direction saying “She's fine.”
“She?” The new mother sighed. When Jaime nodded his head and sat on the bed next to her again “and she's alright?” She asked reaching to hold the child to her chest. A little princess.
The second the babe fully laid on her mothers bosom she started screaming.
Cersei then - with a touched only a mother would have – touched her daughters little head, hummed and talked to her to calm her down. Jaime Just stared in amazement as his newborn child quieted down with her mothers voice.
“There you are sweetling” cooed the new mother “it's alright, your here” she smiled widely. The mid wide brought forward their son and Jaime reached out to take him.
He to say truly didn't know what he was doing, was an understatement.
“Jai you have to cradle the head” Cersei said even before the mid wife and septa could help the new father “like this” she showed home how she was holding their daughter
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After it was all finished – delivering the afterbirth, helping the babes to latch to their mother for a first feeding, their first bath and changing the – bloody –bedsheets – Aynai said she would stay just a little more to make sure Cersei didn't have any more bleeding like before, told her to rest and left the girls bedroom.
With her left Claudia and Arlenna but before the old septa stepped out of the room she turned to the girl and said “I hope everything happens in your favor my lady – you seem as if you will make a great mother.”
She left the room and the par of blonds rocked each a babe.
Looking down at his sons face and seeing Cersei with their daughter he realized that they truly could not rely on their father allowing them to keep their children as a valid option. That they could not rely on faith for kindness from a man who they had never seen being kind or loving for that matter.
It was his job to protected them, he would not let anything happen to them – what ever that meant.
“I swear to you my son, nothing's going to happen to you or your sister.” He whispered gently to his son. The baby cooed and wiggled his little chubby fingers.
“Did you say something Jai?” He heard his sister ask looking at him while rocking their daughter.
“No, no nothing.” He answered and walked to stand next to he bed, next to Cersei and his daughter – his daughter – “Alright now, we can't keep calling them baby girl and baby boy.” Jaime said.
“We don't have to do this right now.” She said and Jaime could see right past her masked face. She was for some reason avoiding it.
“Cersei.”
“Yes?”
“Cersei look at me.” He said with a serious tone “Don't avoid it – nothing's going to happen to them. They are here love. They are safe in our arms.” His words brought tears to her eyes.
“Yes but it's not over. What do we do now? How are we going to make sure these precious things stay safe?” She asked looking to her son then her daughter.
“How about right now we just focus on naming them?” He just says changing the subject. He saw Cersei having some difficulties getting up from the bed and laid the baby boy in his arms on the bed while he went to help her.
He lifted the little girl from Cersei's arms, set her by her brother and went back to his sister to help her up from the bed.
“Well, what do you think?” He asked Cersei with a light smile holding her by the waist.
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They managed one whole day of peace.
They didn't leave Cersei's rooms, they did everything they could to make the babies stay quiet, and though they were exhausted it was the happiest the blond girl could remember being since their mother died. The babes didn't have or much of anything really – buying baby things wasn't an option, too much of a red flag – only the blood red woolen blanquettes with a golden lions and insignias and two or three clothes each brought by Aynai or Claudia.
It was perfect. Until a knock on the door alarmed them.
It was Claudia. She had come to inform the new parents that Lord Tywin Lannister was a few hours away from arriving back at the rock. There had been sent no letters or messages warning them of it.
Cersei changed into an outfit and shushed the babies as Jaime tried to figure out what they were going to do.
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The lord of Castely Rock called his eldest son and daughter into his room that same day.
“You did not warn us you were coming father.” Said Jaime when all parties were seated. Cersei tried to hide the pain her body was still in but her brother noticed.
“Do I need to inform my children of my where shouts now?” Tywin responded sarcastically.
“No father but we had not been prepared to welcome you back home. Their should have been a parede at least.” Jaime responded with a sarcastic tone as well.
“You better watch your mouth boy.” The stern look on the old lions face could make even the breakbeat men quake with fear. “And you Cersei, you are awfully quite today.”
Cersei swallowed hard but put up her high walls and said “yes well I was resting father forgive my tiredness.”
“It is fine my girl. I have returned because tides have changed in kingslanding and I have lost my position as hand.” He said
“I'm sorry father. No one will be better than you.” Cersei tried saying with a sweet voice, as real as she could but chill in her spin made it hard.
“No matter. Jaime will go to the capital as soon as possible and swear into the kingsguard as he wanted to.” Tywin continued “but you already know that from the letter.”
It came back to the princess of the rock what had occurred the day before. Before the cramps and blood and their beautiful new children the news of her brothers place in the stupid kingsguard came.
Jaime was struck dumb and could only mentally berate himeself about how utterly slow he was to have suggested to go to the bloody kingsguard. He had too think of a way out of it.
“You will leave in a few days time. You are both dismissed.” Their father said waving a hand to the door and Cersei numbly lifted herself too her feet – thanking all seven gods like she had never done before for appearing steady on her feet.
“Actually may I speak with you father?” Jaiemd stoped by the door and his sister left with out looking back – probably went back to check into their children with Claudia.
“What is it boy?”
“Well I thought I should tell you that I will not be going to the kingsguard.” The blond teen said
“And why is that?” Asked his father
“Well I do not wish to leave my children.” He almost couldn't believe he had just said that but he would beg and beg any gods to stay with his children.
“Your children? Plural? You have sired a basterds?” Tywin stood furiously.
“No – I–“
“Are you married?” Interrupted Tywin. When his son shook his head in answer of ‘no’ the lord also asked “and you have a children? Then they are basterds. I truly am disappointed Jaime but no matter. How old are your basterds?”
“Hours old.” Answered Jaime with a shred of hope in his chest. But it was crushed.
“Good. So they are twins? Well that makes things easier. Now tell me where they are so we can take care of it.”
“What?” The heir to the rock gasped. He knew of his fathers harshness but this – he didn't think his father would suggest this.
“We will take care of it of course. You are my son. You are not going to be father to any basterds.” Tywin said coldly.
“You would murder your own grandchildren” Jaime rose from his seat to meet his fathers eye – never had he felt so brave.
“If it is for the good of this house I would do whatever I needed.” Answers Tywin and Jaimes blood ran cold in his veins. This was a mistake, Father could never know about his beautiful little children. He would never let him find out – and in that realization came another, his dream of marring Cersei ‘Targeryans wed brothers and sisters for thousands of years’, it would never happen.
They truly were in prisoned in the shadows – condemned never to be in light.
But what would they do with their children now?
He left the room in blinding rage and as he walked down the halls too Cersei’s chambers all he could think of was the pain she had been in in labor. How happy she looked with their children – and how much it would break him if they were all separated.
When he locked the door of her chambers band turn the image he saw warmed his heart.
Both babes rested on their mothers chest held by her arms as she sang softly to them.
“A coat of gold, a coat of red
A lion still has claws
And mine are long and sharp, my Lord
As long and sharp as yours”
She looked up then and gave him a wary smile before kissing the bundled creatures on their head. That triggered Jaime to walk – almost run – to them, hold an arm around the mother of his children and kiss her softly. Then he two bent down and kissed each of the babies heads.
“What did he say?”
The whispered could have gotten unnoticed and probably would have but not with him.
“Cer I–“
“We aren't going to be able to keep them are we?” She said with teary eyes. “I don't even know why I'm crying I knew this would happen.” She extracted herself from his arms and laid the babes on the arrange of blanquettes made on the couch.
Their boy kicked his legs high and moved his arms as his mother watched and his sister just moved a bit with wide eyes as if trying to see everything – the curious cat she wanted to know her surroundings.
Jaime stood next to her and slipped an arm around her waist. “I'm sorry I promised the impossible.”
“The good thing is I didn't believe you.” She responded “I've talked to Aynai – she agreed to watch them until we have something better. Claudia offered but she's in the castle – too close to dangers and look at them. They are Lannisters through and through. Anyone would notice.” It was true. The gold on their heads and matching jade green eyes were undeniable.
“We can see them still. Maybe she can bring them to us. From time to time.” He picked up his little girl and held her to his face. She smiled wider and wider and tried to grab his nose. The smile Cersei's brother wore on his face was new too her. A fathers joy. “It is not what we wanted. Not at all. But they will be safe.” If he was trying to reassure Cersei or himself was unknown.
“Yes. That's all that matters” she sighed picking up her son.
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When Aynai came to take the babes there was no tears.
They had cried all they could, had savored every moment they could and now it was time to let go.
It was early morning, the sun was rising and the day was starting for everyone at the rock. There was no way their father was awake yet so Cersei and Jaime managed to sneak out with the mid wife and their children to see them off.
They didn't speak as they walked back to Cersei's room.
They didn't speak as they sat on her couch.
They didn't speak at all.
Jaime was surprised when some time later he felt his sisters head on his shoulder. We could feel the way the world changed in a second. It felt more empty.
He turned and kissed the top of her head. He noticed the silent tear drops that ran down her cheeks and how her hand laid flat against her stomach.
“I want them back.” She whispered.
“I know.” He answered tightening an arm around her waist.
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The Lannister soldiers were glad to be back at Castely Rock. Most of them were from the surroundings areas and missed home when they were in kingslanding escorting the Lord Lannister.
Aynai opened the door of her cottage with the basket holding two small little babes on her arm. Her home and work place was located outside a small village – it was nice and far away from too many people but close enough to get to laboring mothers and day-to-day necessities.
That day was a mixture of trying to get the twin babies to stop crying for their mother and father and studying, reading when they were asleep.
She felt very sad for Cersei and Jaime. She came too know the five and ten girl throughout the last months and she truly didn't deserve to lose her children – she was too young, could be considered a child still she didn't deserve the pain. Aynai had learned all about her – how your she lost her mother, her hatred for her little brother, that her child would be a basterd, that she had a twin – everything but the fact that she was the daughter of basically the most powerful man in the seven kingdoms and that her childres father was twin her brother.
She had never met Jaime – he had never come to the cottage with Cersei, but when she saw him it was clear who he was. The rooms where they were also told her who they both were.
But it did not matter. Not in the moment to help the little babes that she would take care of now. She couldn't let them be killed by their own grandfather. She latter found two letters with in the baby basket addressed to each child with their initials written in gold.
Late that night the mid wife was about to go to sleep when their was a large bang on the door. Thankfully the babes remains asleep in their basket at the table on the farthest side of the room.
Getting out of bed she looked out the window.
A group of soldiers – three Lannister Soldiers – was outside. Thinking it was just some news for every resident of the village or even a message from Cersei and Jaime she opened the door.
A mistake.
They were slurring their words, talking nonsense. Stumbling while trying to walk. Clearly drunk.
They told her in words dripping with alcohol how pretty she was – how none of the whores at the brothel they paid for were as pretty. How they would have to share being that she was just one.
That night Aynai died. After hours of abuse her body gave up and she was just a puddle of blood on the floor
The next morning one of the soldiers woke up. Gus was his name and the sound of children – babies – screaming made him open his eyes. What he saw was apocalyptic and as he recalled the night before more horror was expressed on his face. The other two soldiers were dead and so was the woman they had attacked. One of the soldiers died after changing the other to a fight which he lost and the other – by the looks of it – dies falling on his own sword. Stupid men.
Coming back to his senses he got up and went after the children. He thought they were probably the woman's children. Twins he could guess.
He had helped leave these children motherless.
Driven by guilt he took the babes and left the horrid scene of the house. Going to where he lived he managed to feed them with goat milk and find a place to put them. He didn't know what he would do. He did tend to be very reckless.
For two days he could not sleep – his mind kept going back to what he did. So he decided that he could not live there anymore.
He was taking care of the babes still. A matter of honor really. They were wrapped in woolen red blanquettes with initials in gold but he still had no ideia what their names were. He had managed to get some old baby clothes from the woman that lived next to him but no much else. He couldn't say he wasn't getting attached, they were sweet babies – even though the boy liked making a scene, the girl was quite tô the point of being worrying.
He bought a passage on the next ship that was headed farthest way, he needed to leave that place and his guilt. With the babes with him he sailed away from Westeros.
Little did he know that after months of sailing, a storm would hit and the ship would sink. Little did he know that it would sink close enough to a shore and that the twin babies he thought were children of a dead woman, would make it to land save floating in their basket on top of a floating wooden plank. The golden lions dangling on their necks and the letter tucked in the blanquettes the only memory of a life they would never know.
Since then, life followed its course for the babes and the five and ten Lannisters that would never be the same.