Actions

Work Header

My Chemical Crackers

Summary:

ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Chapter 1: Flappy Dappy Doo

Summary:

ruh roh

Chapter Text

"Jamia I’m sorry" said Frank but Jamia smacked him across the face
“What the fuck Frank” she yelled at him. Frank had just announced he wanted a divorce from Jamia.
“You’re leaving me for HER?” She pointed at the bird cowardly hiding behind him. “Whatever” she added on and walked away.
“I’m sorry I got you involved in this Flappy” flappy nuzzled into Franks neck to tell him it’s ok
“Flappy.. I know you have trouble flying so I made u a obstacle course. At first I was gonna give it to Mario but he was being a bitch.. at the end I will be waiting for u with a gift” flappy nodded at Frank. Frank then disappeared into smoke only leaving a single tamagotchi poop on the ground
Flappy started flying the obstacle course and failed sometimes but eventually made to the end

“tweet tweet” thought flappy bird which basically translated to “hell yea motherfucker”
When flappy arrived at the end there was a naked Frank sitting seductively
“Tonight’s the night flappy” he said seductively. He lined himself up with the birds hole when gerard way walked in. His eyes widened “DON’T FUCK THE BIRD” frank turned his head “IM GONNA FUCK IT”
“NO” Before Franks dick entered the bird gerard pushed the bird out of the way and replaced it with a cake
Franks dick was covered in cake and Gerard’s dick landed inside the birds mouth. Gerard yelled out a wacky “WOAHOHOH”
BUT his dick went right through the bird
Flappy died instantly
Gerard had flappy birds organs and brain all over his dick. Gerard impaled flappy bird with his dick and it felt fantastic
Gerard picked the bird off of his dick and threw the remains in the fridge
He washed his dick off and settled on fucking the cake with frank.
Afterwards they ate the bird and it was delicious. Since flappy bird was dead Frank settled on marrying Gerard because he was his side bitch
R.I.P Flappy Bird 2014-2014

Chapter 2: $$$

Summary:

Emo pete

Chapter Text

gerard was working at his regular job at the gay strip club bringing home the bacon for frank and his dogs when he was approached by emo pete from down the block

"the regular?" Gerard asked as he sat on Petes lap "ye" Pete responded

Gerard then booty shook his way to $2000 while money maker by ludacris played and accidentally slept with Pete after doing a line of thun thun thun which he dropped a few times in the process

when Gerard woke up in Pete's bed. he screamed "I SLEPT WITH PETE FROM DOWN THE BLOCK. O GOD WHAT WILL I TELL FRANK. PETE PAY ME MORE OR ILL CUT OFF YOUR DICK"
"don't be fooled by the rocks that i got im still, im still pete from the block.. i'm not a bad guy gerard here's your money"

so gerard went home n crept into his bed where frank slept

when frank woke up gerard was like "frankie.. bae... i slept with emo pete"

frank rises out of bed like he was a vampire that just took a 10000000 yr nap

frank then places his hand on gerards cheek "gerard i have something 2 tell u 2..... i slept with guy fieri"

"wat" gerard blinks

"he made me chicken.... you know how i can't resist chicken.." frank then has a flashback of him and gerard eating flappy bird

"oh ok i forgive u" then they fucked