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Chapter Text

When Tony opened his eyes, he was stark naked and his first instinct was to raise his arms and call out for Dada.

Fortunately, Bruce stepped forward before Tony could follow through on that instinct. He gently cupped Tony’s head with his hands, tipping Tony’s chin up until they were eye-to-eye. “Do you know who I am?” he asked, unusually serious. “Tony?”

It took Tony a moment to remember how to get his tongue to work, but finally he mumbled, “Science bro.” It came out a little more slurred than he would like, but it was clear enough to make a look of relief flash across Bruce’s face.

“Right. That’s right,” Bruce said, still looking into his eyes. “And do you remember the past two months?”

Tony didn’t, actually, until Bruce said that. Turned out that he actually preferred it that way. Because then it was like the fog in his brain dissipated, and the events that had led them to this moment were all there in a stark, horrifying clarity. Oh yeah, he remembered. He remembered that he was going to kill Loki.

“Tony?” Bucky said when the silence dragged on.

Bruce let go when Tony twitched, letting Tony turn his head to survey the rest of the office. The rest of the team wasn’t in the room with them, but that made it no less disconcerting to see that Bucky and Steve were right up in his personal space, clustered right behind the bed Tony was sitting on. Which, in retrospect, wasn’t a surprise, because up until five minutes ago Tony’d had the body and mind of a one-year-old, and he had been very attached to both of them.

“No,” Tony said, and that was super weird. He’d said that a lot as a baby, hadn’t he? Not that anyone had ever listened. He had some too-vivid memories of people bathing him, changing his diaper, rocking him, or putting him to bed in spite of Tony’s protests.

“You don’t remember?” Bruce asked.

“Is that bad?” Steve said. The sound of his voice made something in Tony’s chest twist. He didn’t like that Steve wasn’t touching him. He had to sit on his hands to keep from acting on the instinct to reach out.

“No, not necessarily. Tony didn’t know who we were when he was a baby, so it stands to reason that he wouldn’t remember anything when he returned to normal. We don’t know much about Loki’s magic, but it does seem designed to cause the maximum amount of mayhem.” Bruce sighed. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

Steve didn’t look like he agreed with that assessment at all, but he didn’t argue with Bruce. He looked at Tony. “Do you feel okay?”

That depended on what Steve was asking. Physically, Tony was fine. Mentally? He was a fucking mess, torn between wanting to suffocate himself with a pillow, murdering Loki, or flinging himself into Bucky’s and Steve’s arms. He fought through all three conflicting urges and came up with a strangled, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” Bucky said. He’d always been too good at reading Tony, and apparently the past two months had only improved those skills. Tony scowled.

“I just lost two months of my life,” he said, proud that it came out relatively calm, if sharp. “How do you expect me to look?”

“We’ll give you some space,” Bruce said, exchanging a look with Steve. “There’s clothing on the counter over there when you’re ready. Do you need help?”

“I think I can dress myself,” Tony snapped. Steve flinched a little, but no one else reacted. The three of them filed silently out of the room. Too late, Tony realized that he hadn’t actually asked them what had happened. And he should’ve if he wanted to maintain the lie that he didn’t remember anything. He rubbed his head hard with both hands and groaned. This was going to be so needlessly complicated.

It took him longer than he wanted to get dressed, because his legs felt very weak when he stood. It was like it was taking his brain a few minutes to remember how to make his limbs respond to movement. At least he got to pull on boxers instead of having to suffer the indignity of a diaper, and Tony very pointedly ignored the small part of him that missed the comfort of the padded diapers. He got dressed, he walked out, he demanded an explanation from Bruce, and then he fled.

But it turned out that that small part was not so easy to ignore.

The memories haunted him. That was the only word for it. Not an hour went by without Tony thinking about it, no matter how hard he tried not to. And the thing was that, although he knew he’d been a baby at the time, the memories were as clear as though they’d happened to his adult body. He could close his eyes at any given time and remember Bucky laughing as he gave Tony a bath, or the feeling of being cradled in Steve’s arms as they rocked back and forth in the rocking chair.

And he knew that the rest of the team was thinking about it, too. The first couple of times Tony surfaced looking for coffee, his stomach twisted at the sight of the baby bottles around the sink. He stopped and stared at them for a long time, remembering how good a bottle felt to his hungry tummy. How comforting it was to lay back in someone's arms and look up affectionate eyes while he drank. But then Clint came into the room behind him and Tony grabbed his coffee and left.

It was stupid. And gradually, the memories did fade some. The baby stuff disappeared from the tower, though a couple of pictures featuring baby Tony showed up on the walls. Tony didn’t bother to take them down because by that point, the team had finally stopped looking at Tony like he was a stranger and he didn’t want to make anyone angry again. Then Bucky finally backed off on the hovering. Steve took a little longer, but eventually he stopped it too. Within the span of three weeks, it was like nothing had ever happened.

Except in Tony’s stupid, stupid brain. For the most part he could be strong, but in his weaker moments he had no choice but to admit to himself that he missed it. All of it. Especially the affection. Never in his life had there been a time where there was always a pair of arms open to him, or when there was always someone who wanted to be with him. No one had ever looked at him the way Bucky did while playing with him, or the way Steve did when they had cuddled together on the couch.

He told himself that he was just craving the touch of someone else, so during a gala he found a stunning, willing brunette and brought her home. The sex was dissatisfying at best, though she left with a smile on her face. Tony was left with a deeper craving than ever and, as the pressure of his life quickly piled back up, wished that – just for like five minutes – he could go back to being that baby again.

He even dreamt about it a few times for crying out loud. Okay, maybe more than a few times. It didn’t really seem like a problem until he woke up with wet sheets. Tony sat there for a long time, staring at the pee-soaked bedding, and realized that he had a problem he didn’t know how to solve. And it wasn’t like he could take the problem to Pepper or Bruce or Rhodey. This was something he had to figure out for himself.

Alcohol didn’t work, and neither did hiding in the workshop until he passed out on top of his desk. He came to with a disgusting taste in his mouth, Dummy chirping behind him, and a pounding headache. Tony stayed where he was, pathetically wishing that someone (Bucky) would come in and scoop him up. Bucky gave the best baths; he was the only one who knew how to get the temperature of the water right every time and just the right amount of bubbles to use.

“Fuck me. I am such a fucking mess,” Tony mumbled, pressing his fingers into his eyes. He was such a sick fuck. Normal people didn’t want the kind of stuff that Tony wanted. It was all Loki’s fault. His stupid trick had planted ideas in Tony’s head that he didn’t know how to get rid of.

Maybe he needed a vacation. Except he’d just had what was basically a two month vacation, and all of his work had piled up in the meantime. Tony was so behind that Pepper would probably laugh at him if he called her and asked for more time off. And if he was being honest with himself, the idea of leaving the team – of leaving Bucky and Steve – was not appealing. He’d been avoiding them, but there was still some measure of comfort in knowing that they were in the same building.

No, what he needed was to go back to before this ever happened. Back to when he had no idea what it was like to have parents that actually loved you. Back when the word ‘parents’ was worse than a curse word because it usually foretold a conversation that Tony didn’t want to be a part of. Back when the rest of the Avengers were just his team, and, while he loved all of them, he’d never wanted inappropriate things from anyone (and didn’t have memories of some version of himself receiving all those inappropriate things).

“Sir,” JARVIS said.

Tony blinked and stopped muttering about the increasingly inventive ways he was going to kill Loki to crane his neck at the nearest camera. “Yeah?”

“Captain Rogers is requesting your presence. He says it’s movie night.”

“Of course it is.” Tony thought about trying to dodge it, but frankly the last thing he wanted was Steve down here looking all stupidly concerned. “Tell them I’m on my way, J.”

He got up, stumbling a little from the head rush. Wow, apparently three hours of sleep really wasn’t enough after you’d been up for three – or was it four? – days. He rubbed his eyes again as he walked to the elevator. JARVIS took him up to the communal floor without having to be asked, and god Tony loved him. It was too bad that JARVIS didn’t have a corporeal body. JARVIS would give him all the hugs and care Tony could ask for, just like his namesake, without him having to ask or be embarrassed.

“Finally!” Clint yelled the second the doors open. “Get your butt over here already, Stark. Natasha won’t let me touch the popcorn until the movie starts.”

“I just found out like two minutes ago,” Tony said, scanning the room. Looked like it was just the team tonight. Thor was sprawled all over the couch. Bruce had opted for the chair by the window, curled up around a pillow. Sam had the other chair, feet propped up on the coffee table. Natasha and Clint were laying on their stomachs on the floor, though Natasha had wrapped an arm around the popcorn bowl. Steve and Bucky had taken opposite sides of the other couch, leaving a space in between.

“We didn’t know if you were coming up, so Steve got your favorites as incentive,” Bucky drawled, holding up a bag of skittles and a bowl of caramel corn.

That was as good an indicator of where Tony was supposed to sit as anything, he figured. He slunk over to the couch and sat, trying to disregard how good their combined heat felt. For someone who was always cold like Tony, a supersoldier was a god-send. He took the skittles from Bucky and ripped the bag open, popping a couple into his mouth.

“What’re we watching?” he asked.

“Underworld: Blood Wars,” Clint said with a grin.

“Seriously?” Tony said.

“Hey, when you were a baby we weren’t allowed to watch violent movies. Now I can watch trashy gore to my heart’s content,” Clint said, sticking his tongue out at Steve. Steve just rolled his eyes.

The movie started as the lights in the room dimmed. Tony settled back against the couch, but found it was hard to pay attention. These kinds of movies had never been his favorite, and he was exhausted. Steve was very warm and, it turned out, comfortable. He couldn’t help resting his head against Steve’s arm and closing his eyes, relieved when Steve didn’t try to move away.

He dozed off for a little while and really only woke up when Steve shifted beside him. Tony mumbled a protest, curling into him and press his nose into Steve’s shoulder. Steve smelled nice, he noticed hazily. Like that cologne he used, the one that Tony and Clint had teased him for buying because it was meant for older men. It smelled good on Steve, though. Comforting. He remembered that smell.

“Tony, I think it’s time for bed,” Steve said to him. “Everyone else is gone. Come on.”

The words seemed to take a long time to make sense. When they did, Tony moaned and shook his head. Bed was so far away, and he was so tired. “Dada, bed,” he mumbled.

There was a long pause. Tony slid further towards sleep, curling into the warmth. Then Steve’s hand touched his head, running gently through his hair. The pressure felt so good after weeks of not being touched at all. Tony whimpered, pushing his head into the touch.

“Tony, are you sure?” Bucky asked.

“Papa…” Tony would’ve turned his head, but he didn’t think he had the strength for it. Steve’s hand left his head, but before Tony had the chance to get upset, hands slid under his arms and he was lifted from the couch and bracketed against a tall, strong, familiar body. It was a little different from what he remembered, but still so easy to melt into Steve.

Chapter Text

The morning after Tony was turned back to normal, Sam was the one to track Steve down. Up till that point, Steve had been sitting out on the balcony. The tears had frozen to his face in the early November winds. He hadn’t felt this out of sorts since waking up from the ice. Sam, being the man he was, just clapped Steve on the shoulder and quietly suggested that he look into some forums online for grieving parents. Later, Steve would protest that he and Bucky didn’t qualify. They hadn’t lost a child. Except, Sam pointed out, they kind of had.

It took a couple of days, but eventually Steve did a little searching on the internet. He found some forums and read some comments, but he didn’t feel comfortable posting. Tony was still alive, even if he was no longer a baby. It just didn’t seem right, even if some of the content being posted definitely resonated with him. He spent quite a while reading the posts, and on his third day he found a comment about using age play as a less traditional method of coping.

That was an interesting google search. Steve didn’t know that was something that adults did. He shared it with Bucky, who was grieving just as much as Steve. But they mutually agreed that while interesting, it was not relevant. There was no point in even entertaining the thought of Tony agreeing to something like that, not after Tony’s pride had already taken such a blow just from the baby thing.

And it had to be Tony. There was no one else. That was something he and Bucky didn’t even need to discuss.

Steve stopped reading the forums after that and focused on trying to move on. Eventually his days started to feel a little less empty, and he got better at remembering what he did with himself when there wasn’t a baby around to occupy the majority of his time. It helped, though he would never admit it, that Tony stayed away from all of them for quite a while, giving them all a chance to reorient themselves before they had to be a team again.

But now there was this. It actually physically hurt to hear Tony call him “Dada” again. The word sounded a little different coming from an adult man instead of a year-old baby, rougher and deeper, but the same bittersweet ache flooded over Steve instantly. He looked up at Bucky, who looked just as shocked and lost as Steve felt. This was the last thing either of them had expected.

Tony made a quiet sound, curling into Steve’s shoulder. He breathed deep a couple of times, sniffing Steve. It was so reminiscent of what he used to do as a baby that Steve found himself smiling. He set a hand on top of Tony’s head, running his fingers through Tony’s hair. His heart ached again when Tony gave a sweet whimper, nudging into the touch like a starved kitten.

“Steve,” Bucky said quietly.

“He wants it, Buck,” Steve said, just as quiet. He didn’t think Tony could hear them.

Bucky chewed his lip, looking torn. “Tony, are you sure?”

“Papa…” Tony breathed, the word barely audible. The expression of longing mingled with pain on Bucky’s face was intimately familiar to Steve, because it was a perfect representation of what he was feeling right now.

A bunch of conflicting thoughts ran through Steve’s head. They should probably wake Tony up fully. But he didn’t want to. He wanted to seize this moment and run with it. Because if they woke Tony up, he would be embarrassed. He’d run and hide in the workshop again. Steve didn’t want that, not in the least because it was unhealthy for Tony to hide away like that. He made a decision, removing his hand from Tony’s head and standing, lifting Tony with him.

The way that Tony melted against him told Steve he’d made the right choice. Steve put a hand to Tony’s back, steadying him, and met Bucky’s eyes over Tony’s head. Bucky’s face was scrunched up like he might cry, but he didn’t. He stepped closer and Steve turned towards him, pulling Bucky in with his free hand. They embraced, holding Tony between them, just like they had when Tony was a baby, and it wasn’t weird at all.

“He’s gonna be pissed,” Bucky whispered, setting a shaking hand on Tony’s head.

“Maybe not,” Steve said, though that was probably just wishful thinking. “Do you think we should just take him to his own bed?”

“If I may,” JARVIS said unexpectedly, and it was only the desire to keep Tony from waking that kept Steve from jumping.

“Yes, JARVIS?” Bucky said.

“My protocol is to protect and serve Sir, and Sir has not been sleeping well in his own bed,” JARVIS said. “He has slept less than ten hours in the past seven days overall. The last time he slept in his bed, which was four days ago, he wet it. He has refused to sleep in it since.”

That news startled Steve. “He wet the bed?” he repeated.

“Yes. Sir has also been having nightmares. He wakes up crying for ‘Dada’ and ‘Papa’ frequently.” The names sounded odd in JARVIS’s accent. “He has also been refraining from eating or drinking anything other than coffee. I share this information with you, Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, so that you can take this opportunity to make an informed decision in the name of Sir’s health. My scans indicate that Sir’s blood pressure and heart rate have not been as calm as they are right now in well over a month.”

“Since he got turned back,” Bucky said softly. They both looked down at Tony.

“Correct,” said JARVIS. “My conclusion is that Sir’s high-stress life could be enough to shorten his lifespan if he is not given a suitable method of relaxation that does not involve alcohol or more work. His health is my primary objective. I understand, Captain Rogers, that you were doing some research into appropriate methods of relaxation.”

“You were spying on me,” Steve said, not upset. He couldn’t believe JARVIS was telling them this. He was positive that the A.I. was breaking some rules in doing so. But it was valuable information. Maybe it wasn’t wishful thinking; maybe Tony had missed this just as much as Bucky and Steve had.

“It is hardly spying, Captain, when you do not engage your privacy protocol.”

Which was a yes. Steve shook his head. “Tony would never want that, JARVIS.”

“Are you sure?”

The question was enough to give Steve pause. He would’ve said yes without hesitation half an hour ago. He would’ve said that Tony was a proud man who had a lot of boundaries that no one was allowed to cross; he was friendly enough with everyone, but he didn’t like to be handed things and he didn’t like to be touched. But looking down at the man in his arms, he wondered if all of that was really true. How much was Tony not wanting to be touched, and how much was Tony not knowing how to let himself accept touch and everything that came with it?

“I know that look,” Bucky said with a groan. “That’s the look you get when you’re going to do something stupid.”

“So you’re telling me it would be stupid to take Tony to bed with us tonight?”

“Yes, Steve. That would be very stupid.”

“But like, how stupid?” Steve wanted to know.

“Stupid enough that Tony could be mad at us for the rest of our lives.”

“Or so stupid it’s smart,” Steve said. It didn’t make much sense. But the bottom line was, he was holding Tony in his arms for the first time in over a month. Sure, it was a little different in that Tony was taller and heavier (though the weight thing was basically a non-issue to a supersolider). But he was still their baby, and Steve didn’t want to let him go.

“This is a bad idea. I know what you’re thinking. Tony’s not going to be interested,” Bucky said, but he was wavering. Steve could see it. And he still hadn’t taken his hand away from the back of Tony’s head.

“Just one night, Buck. That’s it. If Tony freaks in the morning, we’ll let it go.”

Bucky gave in. “Fine. Let’s take him upstairs and get him ready for bed.”

Steve grinned, feeling light for the first time since Thor had hauled Loki into the room and announced that Loki was ready to turn Tony back. He headed for the elevator, Bucky close on his heels. Tony didn’t stir the whole way up. He was passed out on Steve’s shoulder, thumb tucked into his mouth, breathing slowly and deeply. Even when Steve set him down on the bed, he didn’t wake.

“We’d need a bigger crib,” Bucky said, and then bit his lip like he hadn’t meant to say that.

“I’m sure JARVIS could find us one.” The sight of the small crib in the corner of the room had been painful for the past month. Bucky didn’t want to get rid of it and Steve couldn’t bring himself to argue. But it didn’t hurt anymore, maybe because Steve could easily envision it bigger.

“Should you decide you have need of one, you need only let me know,” JARVIS said, ever the helpful one.

“Thanks JARVIS,” Steve said. He studied Tony, who was wearing jeans and a filthy t-shirt. “Do you think it would be okay if we removed Tony’s clothes for something more comfortable?”

JARVIS was quiet for a moment before he said, “I believe Sir would be okay with that, but do not touch the arc reactor.”

There was a warning in those words that Steve understood all too well. He was careful as he tugged down Tony’s jeans and then pulled him into a sitting position so that he could remove the shirt as well. Tony remained asleep, as pliable as he’d been as a baby, as Bucky handed over one of their t-shirts and Steve pulled it down over his head. The t-shirt was too big on Tony, falling well below his thighs, but that was fine. It looked cute.

“I hope he doesn’t wet the bed,” Bucky said through a yawn, stripping down to his boxers. “I’ve had enough of being peed on in my lifetime.”

Steve didn’t say it, but he knew they were both thinking it. If this continued, they’d have to invest in diapers. Bottles. Everything, really, because two weeks ago Natasha had quietly gathered their remaining baby supplies together, crib excluded, and had them sent to a women’s shelter. Steve was okay with that. He had the feeling that not too many people had ever spent much money on Tony.

“It’ll be fine,” Steve said. “I just wish we’d kept one of his stuffed animals.”

Bucky shifted his weight without speaking. Steve glanced up at him, but Bucky wouldn’t meet his eyes as he walked over to the closet. He had his own, separate from Steve’s, and Steve hardly ever bothered to look inside. He wasn’t sure whether he was surprised or not when Bucky reached inside and came out with a very familiar black teddy bear with round blue eyes.

“I kept it,” Bucky said, a bit sheepishly, hugging the bear. “I know you didn’t want to keep anything else that reminded you of the baby, but I couldn’t bear to let Natasha take it.”

“You should’ve told me. I didn’t know you felt that way,” Steve said. He’d told Natasha to just take everything except the crib, which had been borrowed from Coulson’s sister. He was suddenly very glad that Bucky had thought to keep the bear, though. He was positive Tony would recognize it.

“It didn’t matter. Still doesn’t.” Bucky walked over and gently slipped the bear into Tony’s arms. Tony cuddled it immediately. Both of them smiled.

“It does matter,” Steve said, but it wasn’t worth fighting about. He joined them, stripping down while Bucky got into bed. It was a little awkward having a man in between them instead of a baby, but Steve got over it pretty quick. The bed was more than big enough, and even as an adult Tony was small enough to be cuddled. And apparently happy for it, judging by the way he was smiling around his thumb. Steve’s last thought before falling asleep was that they’d need some pacifiers too.

Chapter Text

Bucky liked to think he dealt with baby Tony’s disappearance better than Steve did, but maybe that was just a lie he’d been telling himself. Because hearing Tony call him ‘Papa’ again was like getting shot in the chest. And Bucky would know; he’d been shot in the chest more than a dozen times over the past seventy-five years. He knew from experience that people only got more freaked out when whatever they were shooting at just kept coming.

He woke up first that morning, opening his eyes to find Tony sleeping peacefully in his arms. Steve had twisted away during the night and was now flat on his stomach, right arm still draped across Tony and Bucky. He probably wouldn’t sleep for much longer either. Supersoldier serum and all that. Taking care of a one-year-old had taught Bucky to be very grateful that he could subside on less sleep than the average person.

He was hoping that Steve would wake up before Tony so that they could discuss how this was going to be handled, but of course Bucky’s luck was destined to be shitty no matter what. He held his breath as Tony stirred, eyelashes fluttering. Any hopes that Tony might go back to sleep died a swift death as Tony slowly opened his eyes, blinking and staring at Bucky in confusion.

The first words out of his mouth were, “I need to pee.”

Knowing Tony wasn't wearing a diaper, those words got Bucky moving. He rolled out of bed, dragging a startled Tony with him, and physically carried Tony across the room to the bathroom. Tony's feet hit the tiled floor and he stumbled a little, still half-asleep. Bucky steadied him until he was in front of the toilet then backed off, figuring Tony could take it from there. Tony yawned widely as his boxers hit the floor; apparently, modesty was a foreign concept to him, since he didn't request that Bucky shut the door.

Bucky walked back to the bed and picked up the bear that had fallen to the floor in their rush. It had been a gift from Rhodey, and baby Tony had loved that bear more than anything else in the world. He'd cried for hours the one time they had misplaced it (it turned out that the toy had been caught up in the sheets on Steve's bed. Tony's smile had been well worth the frantic search).

Hearing the sound of the sink shutting off, Bucky turned. Tony stepped out of the bathroom. His eyes fell on the bear and he stopped cold.

"Boo?" he whispered, and there was no way that Tony could know that unless -

"You remember!" Bucky exclaimed, loud enough that Steve startled and woke. It wasn't his intention to make it sound like an accusation, but that was clearly how Tony took it. He flushed pink from his neck to the tips of his ears and dropped his gaze, practically squirming in place.

"No, I don't," he said, wholly unconvincing.

Steve blinked, looking confused. "Wait, what?"

"Tony remembers being a baby," Bucky said.

"You do?" Steve said.

Tony turned even redder. "No," he said again, darting a look at the bear in Bucky's arms. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Bucky finally took pity on him and moved closer, holding the bear out. Tony held out for approximately thirty seconds before he snatched the bear out of Bucky's arms, clutching it to his chest with shaking hands. He huddled around the bear like he thought Bucky was going to take it away.

"I think you're lying," Bucky said. "You know how your daddy and I feel about lying."

It was a test, and Tony responded beautifully. Instead of making a joke or storming out or uttering a cutting remark, Tony just looked confused. "I... you're not my papa. Father. You're not my father." He was the color of a tomato now, vibrating with tension.

"Buck, for god's sake. Just bring him over here already," Steve said, running his hands through his hair until it stuck up in clumps. "I can't take it anymore. We know, Tony. JARVIS told us about your nightmares and how you're not sleeping or eating. We even know that you wet the bed. You called us Dada and Papa last night, and we know you wake up crying for us."

Tony's face twisted with fear and mortification. He opened and closed his mouth like he was about to speak but couldn't figure out what to say. Bucky took a chance of setting a hand against Tony's lower back. He wasn't surprised when Tony relaxed just a little and allowed himself to be led over to the bed; evidently, he realized that there wasn't much he could say in his defense.

"I'm sorry," Tony said when they reached the bed. He couldn't meet their eyes, staring instead at the bed. "I didn't want you to know that I remembered. I wanted to forget. I tried to forget, but I couldn't. I kept thinking about it no matter how much I didn't want to." His voice cracked.

"Hey, it's okay," Bucky said gently, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "We're not mad at you, Tony." He caught Steve's eye; Steve nodded at him. "In fact, Steve and I have been having a hard time forgetting too. We keep thinking about this baby we used to take care of. He was a real sweetheart, you know."

"I bet it was hard to imagine that was me, huh?" Tony sounded bitter.

"Not what I meant," Bucky said with a frown. He glanced at Steve for help.

"We miss him," Steve said. "We miss you."

Tony looked genuinely surprised by that, his eyes darting back and forth between them. "What? Why?"

"Because we love you," Bucky said, taking a chance and sitting down on the bed. He was immeasurably relieved when Tony sat too, perching on the edge of the bed. "And if you're interested, we'd love to be your daddy and papa again."

"I... what? No. I don't want to be a baby again."

Bucky's heart sunk when Tony said 'no', but just as quickly it started pounding again. "That's not what we mean, baby doll," he said. "You don't need to be de-aged. You can be our baby just the way you are."

"What?" Tony said again. He was still hugging the bear against his chest. Between that, the t-shirt that was too big for him, and the adorably confused look on his face, Bucky just wanted to scoop him up into a huge hug.

"Have you ever heard of age play, Tony?" Steve asked.

“You want to have sex with me?” Tony said, sounding even more baffled.

“What?” Bucky squeaked. How on earth had Tony made that jump?! “No! God no. I mean, you’re attractive as far as men go, but I’m not ready for sex, much less a relationship, and Steve is straight.”

“Bisexual,” Steve said absently. “Honey, no. I don’t mean sexual age play. I know that’s a thing – a really weird thing – ” He made a face “ – but Bucky and I meant the strictly non-sexual variety. It would be exactly like it was when you were physically a baby, but you would stay the age that you are.”

Tony was quiet for a moment. “That sounds kind of weird. I’m too big for that.”

Bucky honestly wasn’t sure if Tony meant he was too big mentally or physically. If Tony meant mentally, Bucky had his doubts: Tony seemed very young right now, like a lost child who desperately wanted comfort but wasn’t sure if they were allowed to have it. He’d done a lot of research on headspaces and he was pretty sure that it wouldn’t take much to ease Tony down right now.

If he meant physically, well. Bucky put a hand on Tony’s knee and squeezed it. “You’re not too big for us. Stevie and I are super soldiers, remember? He had no problem carrying you last night. And when I carried you into the bathroom this morning, you didn’t feel that much heavier than you did when you were a baby. You need to eat more.”

Tony pouted, bottom lip sticking out. “I do not. I eat just fine.”

“That’s more a matter of opinion,” Steve said, face soft and open in a way that Bucky had missed. Steve didn’t deal with or express emotions very easily, but that had changed around baby Tony. It was wonderful to see Steve being so free and open with affection, which he normally reserved solely for Bucky behind closed doors, and it was definitely good for him.

Tony just shook his head. “I don’t know about all this. I mean, you’re my teammates. We have to work together. What if this messed everything up? And I don’t know if I could do it. Being a kid… I wasn’t even that good at it the first time around. If this is really what you want, you should find someone better.”

Steve immediately looked pissed, the way he always did when Howard and Tony’s less than stellar childhood were alluded to. It was even worse now, because it hadn't escaped anyone's notice that baby Tony didn't always react the way a normal baby would. For the first week he'd barely cried, even when hungry or wet. The first time Bucky had picked him up, the tension in the baby had been unmistakable - like he wasn't that used to being held - and it had taken Tony a very long time to relax into the embrace.

"We don't want someone else, we want you," Bucky said gently, shooting a warning look in Steve's direction. Steve could yell and huff and punch walls after Tony was out of the room. Mentioning Howard's name right now would only have an adverse effect. Tony tended to clam up and get weirdly robotic when Howard was mentioned.

"But you could have anyone you wanted," Tony argued.

"We want you," Bucky repeated, more firmly this time. "I don't care if you're not good at it. Just being able to hold you or change your diapers or give you a bottle is enough for me."

"Change my..." Tony's eyes widened. "You'd want me to be that young? Why?!"

Oh. Bucky supposed that they hadn't gotten around to mentioning that, had they? "It's the age we're the most comfortable with," he said, which wasn't a lie exactly. It just wasn't the whole truth, which was that Bucky wasn't sure how to tell Tony that he needed to be needed. It sounded stupid even in his head. He'd always felt that way, but he'd never found anyone who needed him back until now.

What he was also thinking, but which Tony probably wasn't ready to hear, was that it was also probably the age that Tony was best suited for. Being a baby meant that Steve and Bucky would literally do everything for him. Tony wouldn't have to think or act. He could just lay back and soak up all the affection that Steve and Bucky could pour into him.

"It's also something that we're used to," Steve added, apparently having swallowed his anger at Howard long enough to speak again. "Changed one poopy diaper, you've changed them all."

Tony immediately turned bright red again, and then he did the sweetest thing ever - he actually lifted up the bear and pushed his face into it, hiding himself in the bear's fur. Bucky wanted to curl up and die at the sheer cuteness of the sight. He was literally speechless. Couldn't have spoken if his life depended on it. He stared at Tony, enraptured, heart melting into a gooey mess.

Steve cleared his throat a couple times, an equally soppy, adoring look plastered all over his face. "I didn't say that to embarrass you, Tony. That's what babies do. Hey." He reached out and gently pushed the bear down a bit. Tony's grip tightened on the bear, but one miserable brown eye peeked out at Steve.

"We never have to talk about this again if you don't want to do it. Bucky and I won't think less of you. It's your decision."

That brown eye stared at Steve, then flicked to Bucky.

"He's right," Bucky said, somehow regaining the ability to talk through sheer force of will. "It's just an idea, but the last thing we want is to force you into it."

Tony mumbled something.

"What's that, sweetheart?" Steve asked.

"But you want it," Tony said quietly.

Shit. Bucky's chest actually hurt. He wanted to find everyone who'd treated Tony as badly as they had for Tony to end up like this and go all Winter Soldier on their asses. "That's true," he said, keeping his voice neutral. "But what you want matters too. Don't even think about forcing yourself."

"I need to think about it," Tony said after a long pause.

"Think as long as you need," Steve said.

They both expected Tony to get up and leave, but he didn't. After a couple of minutes, Steve flicked a questioning look at Bucky. Bucky tipped one shoulder up in the barest of shrugs before figuring he might as well get comfortable. He leaned back against the pillows, swinging his legs up onto the bed. He stared at the ceiling, feeling for the first time how hard his heart was pounding. That had been nerve-wracking, but so worth it because Tony was actually considering it.

About ten minutes passed before Bucky felt the light weight against his legs and pushed himself up. Something in his chest squeezed tight when he realized that Tony had fallen asleep and was slumped over against Bucky's legs for support. Tony was even sucking on one of the bear's ears, just like he used to do when he was a baby. Bucky had to smile, remembering how many times Steve had tried to break him of that habit.

"Definitely have to get some pacifiers," Steve whispered, gently grabbing Tony's upper arms and pulling him up the bed. He laid Tony down against the pillows. They both watched as Tony curled up, still sucking away on his bear, sound asleep and, for the moment anyway, safe and happy.

Chapter Text

It used to be that when Tony woke up, he was immediately alert. It was a holdover from all the years when Pepper would come kicking his door down because he was late for some meeting or another. That habit had changed when he was de-aged; when you were a baby, life was never a rush because no one could make demands of him or his time. Everything ran on Tony's schedule. His body had grown used to waking up slowly, maybe even dozing off a couple of times before waking up fully, and it was one of the things that had stuck when he got his adult body back.

Or at least, that was Tony's excuse for why it took him a whole five minutes to figure out that he had his thumb tucked into his mouth. He slipped his thumb out of his mouth first, making a face at the slimy, crinkled skin of his thumb - he must've been sucking for a while. He heard someone chuckle and froze, realizing that a) there was another person in the room with him and b) he was not in his own bed. Someone had been watching him sleep while sucking his thumb. It was official. Tony's reputation was never going to recover from this.

Very slowly, he opened one eye to check out who was witnessing his humiliation. He supposed he should've expected to see Bucky sitting on the beside him. That was what he got for falling asleep on the bed that Bucky and Steve shared, but Tony hadn't been able to help himself. Supersoldiers gave off quite a bit of heat, for one thing, which was brilliant in the dead of winter. And for another, the bed smelled like a warm, comforting combination of Steve-and-Bucky. Tony's brain, which had spent many long hours directing his baby body to curl up into Steve's or Bucky's necks, was very happy about that. The combination of that plus feeling safe was stronger than a shot of whiskey.

"Don't laugh at me," he grumbled, curling in on Boo. He rubbed his nose against the bear. It had been washed recently, and the fur was very soft against his cheek.

"Oh darlin', I'd never laugh at you," Bucky said, voice gentle. "I'm sorry. You just look so cute when you make that face. You can go back to sleep if you want. Steve went out for his run and said he'd bring back breakfast, but I'm not expecting him back for another hour at least. More if he decides to do extra laps of Central Park, and he might."

"I'm not tired," Tony said. It wasn't exactly true - he hadn't been sleeping well since he'd gotten his normal body back, and one night's sleep and then a short nap weren't going to make a difference about that - but he was feeling contrary and didn't want to follow Bucky's suggestion. But at the same time, the thought of moving wasn't very appealing either. Someone had draped the blankets over him while he slept, and he was very cozy.

"That's fair. How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

Bucky just looked at him. "How are you really feeling?"

Damn. He'd almost forgotten how easily they seemed to see through him now. "Confused," he admitted, because he figured there was no harm in being honest. They were probably expecting him to be confused. "How come you and Steve are still sharing a bed?"

If he was surprised by the question, Bucky didn't let on. "I don't know about Steve, but I like sharing a bed with someone. It's comforting to wake up and have another body in the bed beside me. And I like that it's Steve, because it means that I wouldn't be able to hurt him if I had a nightmare." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm used to it now. When you were a baby we started out trading nights, but that got old pretty fast. It was easier for all three of us to be in the same room so Steve and I could trade off who got up with you."

Tony cast a quick glance at the small crib in the corner of the room. "Didn't that suck? Being woken up all the time by a baby?" he asked frankly. It was one of the reasons he'd never seen fatherhood in the cards for himself. He'd been told by many different people that he was an absolute bear when he got woken up.

"It wasn't fun, but that's part of havin' a baby around," Bucky replied. "You didn't mean anything by it. Usually you were either hungry or needed your diaper changed."

"Oh," Tony mumbled, flushing a little, uncomfortably reminded of the conversation that had occurred less than two hours ago. Bucky and Steve still wanted him to be their baby. Tony really wasn't sure how he felt about that.

On the one hand, his instinct was to say no. He'd heard of age play before - there weren't many kinks that Tony hadn't heard of, given all of what he'd done in his twenties - but had never tried it out. Not because he didn't want to, but because the opportunity had just never presented itself. And even if it had, he still wasn't sure he would've said yes. It would mean putting a hell of a lot of trust in someone to be that vulnerable around them. Tony had never met anyone he trusted that much before Steve and Bucky, except for Rhodey - but he also knew that Rhodey wouldn't have been interested in that kind of thing.

There was also the always present concern about what it would mean for the Avengers. Tony was Iron Man, and he couldn't stop being Iron Man no matter what. What if this made everything weird? What if he couldn't even do it? Or worse, what if he could get into the right headspace (because he thought, in the back of his head, that he probably could. Maybe he wouldn't have been able to before he'd been de-aged, but now his brain remembered exactly what it was like to be a baby and it would be scarily easy to call that feeling forward) and Steve or Bucky or both decided that Tony wasn't what they wanted? What if they kicked him out and he was left to try and muddle through alone?

That was probably the thing that concerned him the most. Tony didn't trust easily. He'd been betrayed too many times for that. Breaking up with Pepper had been one of the worst things to ever happen to him, and it was his team that had put him back together. His team, but especially Steve and Bucky. If this whole thing, whatever they wanted to call it, between them went south for any reason, then Tony didn't know what would happen. He didn't think that he'd be able to come back from something like that. It would tear him apart.

So he should say no. It was the obvious answer. Except... there was a big part of Tony that wanted to say yes. Here was the very thing he'd secretly been longing for, being offered to him on a silver platter by the very people he wanted it from the most. And both of them seemed very keen to make it happen. Just looking at Bucky now, Tony could see that Bucky was more relaxed than he'd been in the last month. Gone was the tension that Bucky had carried, the ever-present strain in his eyes and lines on his face: he was all smiles, reclining against the bed like he didn't have a care in the world. It was a very good feeling to think that was because of Tony, and he wanted Bucky to keep looking this way.

It was all a very confusing mess in Tony's brain and it made his head hurt. He rubbed at his temples, trying to ease the looming headache, and startled when Bucky's hands took over. Tony stayed tense for a long moment before slowly relaxing, realizing that Bucky knew just where to touch and how to rub to ease the pain. He let his eyes slide shut, leaning into Bucky's touch. He'd almost forgotten how good it felt to be touched. As a baby, he'd gotten more of that than at any other point in his life. Someone was always picking him up, carrying him, rocking him. Tony craved all of it now that he knew what it was like.

"It's okay if you don't want this, Tony," Bucky said quietly. He was leaning over Tony at an angle that had to be awkward for him, but he didn't seem bothered. "Like I said, Stevie and I will understand. We're asking for a lot."

The problem, Tony thought, wasn't that they were asking for too much. It was that Tony would give them everything, whether they were ready for it or not. He'd always been an all or nothing kind of guy, and apparently this weird situation made that no different. He said, "I just don't know. It has the potential to go wrong."

"It also has the potential to go really right."

"I'm a businessman. Some risks aren't acceptable. The Avengers are more important than anything."

Bucky's fingers paused in their rubbing. One of his thumbs drifted down to trace Tony's cheekbone. "Baby boy, the Avengers are strong enough to withstand anything," he said, still in that gentle tone that made something in Tony ache. "If we tried this out and it didn't work for us, we'll just stop. Things might be weird for five minutes, but we've had worse. I love you. Steve loves you. We're not going anywhere, okay?"

It was too easy to believe Bucky when he said things like that. Tony opened his eyes, looking up at him. "You don't know that," he said.

"Yes I do. And none of this business about us being able to find someone better," Bucky added, grey eyes firm.

Tony let himself pout. "It was just a suggestion. I don't know if I like being the one you're pinning all your hopes about."

Bucky sighed. "It's not like that. Tony, I admit I miss when you were a baby. I miss being able to hold something in my arms. But if you decide not to do this, I'll just... go get a cat or something like that."

In spite of himself, Tony giggled. "Are you saying I'm easily replaceable?"

"I'm saying that your time as a baby made me realize I have certain needs that I was ignoring. I think age play is something that would work for and benefit all of us. But I also think that I could get those needs fulfilled by spending time with you and having a pet and maybe, if that wasn't enough, visiting babies at the hospital or something like that. Hell, I'll probably do all of the above even if you agree to the age play just because it would be good for me. What I'm saying is, I'll be disappointed but I'll live."

There was something comforting about Bucky's answer. Knowing that Bucky, and by extension Steve, wasn't putting everything on Tony saying yes took a little bit of the pressure off. It didn't resolve all of Tony's concerns, not by a long shot, but it was something. And it meant that Bucky and Steve had actually been thinking about this - it wasn't just a spur of the moment decision that they would both come to regret. Tony had been there, done that. Being someone's split-second decision that they woke up the next morning regretting was not a fun position to be in.

"I think I need to do some research about it and maybe talk to Steve," Tony said.

Bucky nodded. "That's fair. And you know, if you tried this and you didn't like it, we can stop. Just because you agree to do it once doesn't mean you're committed."

"You guys could also change your mind," Tony pointed out. "It would be different than having a baby."

"That's true," Bucky allowed. "But it's extremely unlike that both Steve and I would hate it. And I swear to you that if that happened, we wouldn't just leave you out in the cold. That will never happen." His voice was brimming with conviction and determination. Somehow, despite all the evidence in Tony's life that said he shouldn't, Tony believed him.

Chapter Text

Steve returned from his run to find an empty bedroom. He wasn’t surprised, but part of him had been hoping that he’d find Tony and Bucky still curled up in bed together. Instead, there was no sign of Tony and he could hear the sound of the shower along with Bucky singing. Steve gathered up a change of clothes for himself and went to find an empty shower.

Over breakfast, Bucky told him about the conversation he’d had with Tony, concluding with, “He really wants this, Stevie. I can see it in his eyes. You should’a seen him when I was rubbing his head. He’s touch-starved. But he’s afraid to say yes. He thinks we’ll wait until he gets comfortable and then yank it all out from underneath him.”

“We would never do that,” Steve said indignantly. Even if this wasn’t something that he and Bucky both actively wanted, he would never abandon Tony like that.

“I know that, and you know that. Tony? Not so much.” Bucky sighed, breaking off a piece of toast. “I think I managed to convince him that I really want this, but not to the point where I’m pinning everything on Tony saying yes. He’s worried about disappointing us.”

“I’m not surprised,” Steve said. It had taken him a long time to realize just how much Tony craved Steve’s respect and approval. It was actually Natasha who had pointed it out to him, after one too many fights between Steve and Tony had her losing her temper. She’d sat him down and very frankly laid out that any idiot could see that Tony had grown up idolizing Captain America, and that, while Tony would never admit it, it was killing Tony to be told over and over that he wasn’t living up to Steve’s standards.

Steve had felt like a total idiot. He’d never looked at things from that perspective before, but once he did his relationship with Tony (or lack thereof) made a hell of a lot more sense. That conversation had also made him realize that he was holding the Avengers to the standard of the Howling Commandoes, and that wasn’t exactly fair. Different time, different circumstances, and different people meant that Steve needed to figure out a new standard for the Avengers, one that had nothing to do with the past.

He’d made it a point to stop yelling at Tony after their battles, realizing that it wasn’t helping anyone. That didn’t mean he stopped scolding Tony or anyone who deserved it, but Natasha was right: there was a big difference between someone who legitimately deserved criticism and Steve being overly picky (and then delivering said pickiness in a very unprofessional way).

Slowly but surely, his and Tony’s relationship had improved. Especially once Steve opened himself up to some of Tony’s improvements and gadgets. Turned out that Tony really could make a better armor bodysuit than SHIELD could, and his communicators were legions ahead of the rest of the market. He could still remember the first time he’d given Tony a compliment about how much better his bodysuit was: Tony’s whole face had lit up for a split second. He’d hidden it just as quickly, of course, but the memory of that delighted, shy smile stayed with Steve even now.

“I told him that was dumb,” Bucky went on. “I’m not sure he believes me. He also expressed a concern about the team. Both about how this would affect us in the field and off, especially if things went wrong.”

“That’s fair,” Steve said slowly. “But it would be no different if, say, Natasha and Clint began dating. So long as we’re professional in the field, we can do whatever we want behind closed doors.”

“Can you separate Tony as a baby and Tony as Iron Man?” Bucky asked seriously. “Because if you can’t, then Tony’s right and we shouldn’t be doing this. Much as I hate to admit it, Iron Man being with the Avengers matters more than anything else. And you know Tony won’t stand for coddling in the field. You’re the team leader, so it’s important for you to be able to do that.”

Bucky had a good point. Steve thought about it while he finished his breakfast sandwich. “I think I can,” he said at last. “I know it’s not exactly the same thing, but I already feel protective towards him. We’ve been called out a couple times since Tony got back to normal and Tony was there. I treated him the way I always do, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” Bucky said, smiling.

“Besides, Tony loves being Iron Man. I couldn’t ask him to stop something he loves.”

“He wouldn’t even if you did.”

Steve smiled too. “No, he wouldn’t. I’m going to go talk to Tony.”

“Take him some food. He took off like his tail was on fire once we got up. I’m sure he hasn’t eaten anything.”

“I’d love to bring him a bottle,” Steve said wistfully. Feeding a baby was unexpectedly soothing. He’d been afraid at first, worried that he might squish Tony or otherwise hurt him. But once he got used to it, it quickly became Steve’s favorite part of the day. The feeling of providing and caring for someone so little and helpless was indescribable. He missed being able to sit quietly with Tony in their own little world.

“I know. I miss singing him to sleep,” Bucky said. “But start with a sandwich. We don’t want to pressure him.”

Knowing that Bucky was right, Steve grabbed the last sandwich and headed for the elevator. JARVIS took him down to the workshop, where Tony was – for once – not hard at work. Instead he was curled up on the couch, staring intently at his tablet. He was so preoccupied with what he was looking at that he didn’t even notice Steve was in the room until Steve sat down beside him.

“Brought you food,” Steve said, tossing the bag into Tony’s lap. He caught a glimpse of the screen and had to fight to keep his expression straight. Tony was researching age play.

“I’m not hungry,” Tony said.

Steve thought about just telling him to eat the damn sandwich or, better yet, opening the bag and hand-feeding it to Tony. Instead, he reached for the bag. “Okay then. I’m still hungry, so I’ll –”

“No! Mine!” Tony wrapped an arm protectively around the bag.

“Either eat it or give it up, sweetheart,” Steve said. He didn’t even realize he’d used a nickname until he saw Tony’s ears turn pink. Damn. He’d have to be more careful about that in the future. It was just hard remembering that he couldn’t as free with nicknames now as he was when Tony was a baby.

“Slave driver,” Tony grumbled, but he opened the bag and unwrapped the sandwich. He made a pleased little sound as bit into it that warmed Steve from head to toe.

“I talked to Bucky. He said that you had some concerns,” Steve said. “I just want you to know that if we did this, I wouldn’t treat you any differently in the field. You would still be Iron Man, kickass member of the Avengers, and I would still be Captain America, the boss. What we do behind closed doors wouldn’t have an effect on how we operate. I give you my word.”

“Behind closed doors. You make it sound like we’re dating.”

“The same rule would apply if we were,” Steve said calmly, refusing to rise to the bait. “I’m pretty confident in my ability to keep baby Tony and adult Tony separate.”

Tony didn’t look at him. He stared at his sandwich. “What happens if you end up liking one and not the other? What if we get into a fight and then I fall into my headspace?”

Or, Steve translated, what happened if they did this and it didn’t work out. He itched to put an arm around Tony’s shoulders and hug him. “I can’t imagine not liking any part of you, to be honest.”

“Steve. Be serious.”

“I am being serious. But to answer your question specifically, I would put aside any disagreements we were having because that’s what you do when you’ve got a kid. Especially a baby. If, for whatever reason, I couldn't, or you didn't want me around, then Bucky would be here. Or vice versa."

Tony was quiet for a moment, taking bites of his sandwich. At last, he said, "I guess I don't get why you would want to. It's a lot of work. Kids are a lot of work. You don't get anything out of it."

"That's not true."

The look Tony gave him was entirely skeptical. "Come on."

"I'm not lying to you. Not about this. You know, I don't like kids that much. I'm never sure what to say to them or how to act. They're so tiny, so fragile. I'm always scared that I might hurt them without even realizing." Steve looked down at his big hands. "When you were turned into a baby, I didn't want anything to do with you at first. But Bucky was so damned determined that were going to take care of you without help. He loves children. He had four little sisters, you know."

"I know," Tony said softly.

"He really wanted to care for you, but he was afraid to be alone with you. He thought that somehow you might activate the Winter Soldier and he'd end up killing you. So I had to be there too. But you know what Bucky is like, there's no way he was letting me hang around without doing my fair share. And the first time I picked you up..." Steve trailed off.

He could remember that moment like it had happened yesterday. Tony had been crying, but Bucky was in the shower. Steve had ignored the sound for as long as he could, but eventually he couldn't take it anymore. He'd gone into the makeshift nursery and, very carefully, picked the baby up. Miraculously, the wails had stopped as soon as Tony was in his arms. Tony had looked up at him, blinking wet brown eyes, and then wrapped his pudgy hand around the front of Steve's shirt.

Instant love. There was no other way to describe it. Steve had fallen for the baby right then and there, and by the time Bucky got out of the shower he was rocking Tony back and forth and humming under his breath (unfortunately, Steve couldn't sing worth a damn). He'd heard 'I told you so' more times from Bucky in those next few days than the rest of their lives combined. It was all worth it.

"The first time you picked me up?" Tony prompted.

Steve blinked and turned back to him. "What? Oh, sorry. It was... I felt invincible. I could make your life right just by giving you a bottle or rocking you to sleep in my arms. There are so many things in the world I can't fix, Tony. But you... when you were a baby, I could do anything. I miss that feeling."

"So you really want this."

"I won't lie. I do. But I also understand if you don't want to. I wouldn't force you into anything; I only want to try this if you feel comfortable, and Bucky feels the same way."

"I just don't know," Tony muttered. He finished the sandwich and wiped his fingers. "It's... asking a lot."

"I know," Steve said gently, and he really did. "You should know that Bucky and I would always put you first. I liked caring for you last night. So did he. The chances that we're going to try this and not like it are pretty slim."

"What if you get tired of it?"

Steve threw all caution to the wind at the sound of that tiny voice. He wrapped an arm around Tony's shoulders, pulling Tony against him. "Then we'd figure it out together, honey. We wouldn't just throw you out or abandon you. Bucky and I are in your life for the long haul. Ain't nothing you could do to chase us away at this point."

"You're such a gross softie," Tony said, half-heartedly wiggling. Steve just chuckled and easily kept him in place; he thought about pulling Tony into his lap, but decided not to push it just yet. For the moment, he was content to sit here with Tony and watch as Tony continued his research.

Chapter Text

Bucky looked around furtively, cradling his tablet to his chest. So far as JARVIS could tell him, all of the Avengers were occupied. Steve was in the gym going to town on a couple of punching bags. Tony was in his workshop. Natasha had gone somewhere with Pepper. Clint and Sam were at the movies. Thor was spending the weekend with Jane. Rhodes hadn't been by for a couple weeks. That meant everyone was accounted for, short of any surprise visitors. He slowly exhaled and lowered the tablet onto his knees, looking down at the screen with a mushy expression.

He couldn't help it. The adult-sized footie pajamas were too adorable. It was black in color except for the belly, which was pale pink, and the hood that had round bear ears attached to it - the inside of the bear ears were pink too. The fabric around the crotch area could be unfastened for easy changes, and even had a fluffy black tail attached right around where the wearer's spine would be. As a bonus, for an extra $2 per word you coul have whatever you wanted written across the front or back. Picturing Tony in the pajamas with the words 'Papa's Little Bear' stenciled across the back was making Bucky's heart melt into a puddle on the floor.

"I want it," Bucky whispered to himself, gleefully looking up the sizes. He was pretty sure that Tony would be no bigger than a medium, and even then a medium might be pushing it. No matter what Tony said, he was pretty tiny.

He selected the appropriate size and added the pajamas to his cart. For good measure, and after a quick glance at the rest of what the seller had, he added two more pairs of the footie pajamas, one designed to look like a kitten and the other designed to look like a puppy. Tony would be absolutely adorable in any of them, even if he would probably do a cute, embarrassed pout the first couple of times he was dressed up in them. Bucky touched the picture on the screen and sighed. He desperately hoped that the image in his head would become a reality, but he still sure that was going to happen.

Tony hadn't been avoiding them over the past three days, but he'd definitely been a little more standoffish than usual. It was really bothering Steve, Bucky knew. Having a tantalizing glimpse of what life could be like with Tony just made Steve want it all the more, and Steve had never been great about denying himself what he really wanted. He usually just didn't know how to go after it. And in this case, they both knew that pushing Tony too much could easily backfire. If Tony got cold feet and ran away now, they would literally never have another chance at this.

That was why Bucky was doing all of this ordering in secret. He didn't want Tony or Steve to know what he was doing, just in the event that Tony decided not to give it a try after all. Steve would just get upset about all the cute clothing and accessories and furniture they'd never get the chance to use, and Tony... well, it was hard to pinpoint how Tony would react. He might take it as a massive overstep on Bucky's part or he might see it as a sign that Bucky really wanted this and be touched. With Tony, you never knew. So Bucky was taking the safe road just in case it was the former and had already asked JARVIS to make sure all of these boxes were shipped to the tower without Tony's awareness.

Fortunately, JARVIS was a very willing accomplice and had even suggested some sites for Bucky to look at. Bucky was enthralled by everything there was to buy for adults who wanted to age play. Literally everything you would buy for a physical baby could be bought in adult sizes, from a crib to a bassinet to changing table to a rocking chair big enough to accommodate two fully grown adults. There were diapers, pacifiers, bottles, rattles - the list went on. He'd already picked out furniture to decorate the potential nursery, and bought enough supplies to keep them going for about six months.

"Good thing I have a credit card," Bucky muttered, wincing at the sight of the cart. It was a hefty price. But it was all worth it if only Tony would say yes. If he said no, most of what Bucky had bought could be returned.

But if he said yes...

"My god, Buck, what the hell are you buying?"

Bucky jumped about a foot in the air and sent his tablet flying from sheer surprise. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you viewed the situation, Steve deftly reached out and caught the tablet before it could hit the ground. It was likely that it would've survived, being that Tony had personally built it, but there was no sense in testing it unnecessarily. Then again, as Bucky watched his best friend look down at the screen and realize what it was that Bucky was oh-so-sneakily buying, Bucky almost wished that Steve hadn't caught it.

"... Seriously?" Steve asked after a moment, looking up at Bucky.

"What?" Bucky said, aiming for innocent and missing by a mile. "Oh, you mean all that age play stuff? It must've fallen into my cart by accident."

"You bought over $20,000 worth of age play stuff by accident," Steve said flatly.

"It could happen," Bucky said with a shrug.

"Yeah, right. What is all this stuff?" Steve looked down at the tablet again. "A crib? A mobile? A stroller?" His voice was filled with disbelief. "Where the hell did you find a stroller big enough for Tony?!"

"There's someone who makes them," Bucky said. He didn't mention that he'd had to get Tony's rough measurements from JARVIS and then specially commission the stroller. Judging by the way Steve was staring at him, he thought that bit of information might make Steve's head explode. But he just couldn't help himself. He knew Tony would love a bright red, gold-accented stroller, and it wasn't like the tower didn't have ample room to take Tony for walks. He'd loved that when he was a real baby.

"Bucky." Steve sighed and locked the tablet. By the expression on his face, he was gearing up for a lecture. Bucky held his hands up.

"Steve, I can feel that Tony is going to give in. You know that he wants this. You can't tell me that he doesn't, because we both know that he does. Sooner or later, he's going to get over whatever hesitations he has and come to us and say yes. And when that happens, I want to be ready. I want to spoil him. I didn't really get the chance to do it before," Bucky said passionately. When Tony was a baby, Steve had made Bucky promise that he wouldn't go overboard in buying Tony things because they didn't know how long the baby thing was going to last. That was a point that Bucky hadn't been able to argue against.

This, though? This could be forever.

"Tony deserves so much. I want to show him that we're ready for him, and that we'll do whatever it takes to make him happy. I don't think he's ever had that. Certainly Howard never gave it to him." Mentioning Howard was probably a low blow, but Bucky didn't care. "If I have to return all the stuff that I bought, fine. I will. But it's not going to come to that. Tony's gonna say yes and I'm gonna be ready," Bucky finished. Then he looked at Steve, waiting for judgment.

Steve was quiet for several agonizing seconds, just staring at him, before he sighed. "Buck... you know how much I want this too. But I don't want you to be disappointed. I don't want you to get your hopes up and then get your heart broken. Because I think Tony is going to say yes too, but there is always the chance that he won't. After buying all this stuff, are you ready for that?"

"Yes," Bucky said firmly, even though they both knew that was a lie. Neither one of them was prepared for that outcome.

"Right," Steve said, not sounding like he believed Bucky at all. "So... what did you buy?"

Bucky grinned and grabbed the tablet, unlocking it so he could show Steve everything he'd bought. Steve didn't really like shopping; he was the kind of guy who would buy ten different colors of the same shirt, or five pairs of the same jeans, when he found something that was comfortable. That was fine with Bucky. He had quickly discovered that he enjoyed shopping. It was actually fun when you had money to do it with, and being able to shop online was simply amazing. There was so much of everything and it was all available with overnight shipping!

They spent several minutes huddled over the tablet as Bucky flipped through all of the pages. For someone who was pretending that he wasn't pinning all of his hopes on Tony saying yes, Steve couldn't help melting over some of the adorable things they came across. He particularly liked a purple onesie that had the words 'Daddy's Baby Boy' stitched across the front, and immediately pulled out his wallet and handed over his credit card so that Bucky could order it. Bucky grinned at him and happily put the order in.

Some people might have thought it odd that the two of them were so excited to co-parent, but Bucky didn't think it was weird at all. He and Steve had always worked well together. There was a trust between them that was born of years of fighting by each other's side, first in the schoolyard, then in back alleys, then in the war, and then as Avengers. Furthermore, they actually worked together just as well in the home as they did outside. It was exciting to think that Bucky could have the experience of a baby without needing to have a relationship or worry about being a single parent.

And he had to admit, it would be kind of nice that Tony wouldn't be a baby all the time. No more needing to worry about who would stay behind during a mission to baby-sit, or feeling absolutely exhausted but knowing he had no choice but to get up to tend to Tony because Steve was just a little more exhausted, or constantly thinking that Tony was going to get hurt somehow - they were a rough and tumble group sometimes. Steve wouldn't have to worry so much about accidentally hurting an adult, and Bucky wouldn't have to be quite as worried about accidentally unleashing the Winter Soldier. There were pluses all around to this.

"So you're actually doing this. You're setting up the nursery again," Steve said when they were done.

Bucky nodded. "I actually am. You can help if you want. There's going to be a lot of furniture to set up," he hinted.

"And I know how much you love putting stuff together," Steve said dryly. "Did you really buy a bassinet and a crib?"

"I thought Tony might like to sleep in our room sometimes, but not with us in the bed," Bucky said haughtily. "I'm trying to think of what's best for our child."

"Uh huh, sure," Steve muttered with a fond smile, shaking his head again. "Okay. Sure. Let's do it. Let's set up the nursery. Why not?"

"Really?" Bucky said, excited.

"Really. You're right. Tony deserves it. And this way, we'll have everything ready for him when he says yes."

Bucky's grin widened. It hadn't escaped his notice that Steve had said 'when', not 'if'. "Great. Cause I actually placed an order last night too, so some stuff should be arriving by 5pm. We can get a headstart tonight."

"Of course we can," Steve said with a groan. He got up and headed into the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm going to raid the fridge. If I'm going to be spending the next two days putting furniture together, I'm going to need a lot of beer."

Chapter Text

Tony sat alone in his workshop, but for once he wasn’t working, sleeping or playing with the ‘bots. He wasn’t even trying to avoid Pepper. He was leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and looking at the hologram in front of him. At his request, JARVIS had captured the picture from the security needs. It showed Tony, sound asleep on Steve’s hip, with both of Steve’s arms wrapped securely around him, while Bucky stood very close with one hand on Tony’s back and the other hand on Steve’s shoulder.

It was a moment from that ill-fated movie night that was frozen in time: a moment that had captured the identical wistful expressions of affection and hope on Steve’s and Bucky’s faces. It was a moment that made Tony’s heart do flip flops in his chest every time he looked it, but he couldn’t help himself. His eyes roved the image hungrily, constantly committing the smaller details to memory.

Because he’d never imagined anyone would look at him like that, and he’d certainly never imagined that the people doing it would be Captain America and the Winter Soldier.

And therein lay the core of the problem that Tony kept running into. Steve and Bucky were too believable. It was hard to look at Steve when he had that earnest expression on his face and think that he was lying or look at Bucky’s quiet confidence and think that he hadn’t thought this whole situation through. Both of them seemed so sure that this was what they wanted, and that belief was getting increasingly difficult to ignore. They really did seem to have thought everything through.

With anyone else, Tony probably would’ve turned them down flat and never looked back. But this wasn’t about anyone else. It was Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, and their combined efforts had left Tony craving something he’d never even done before, something he’d never wanted until he’d had a taste. It reminded him of when he was in university, and a classmate had described how awesome it was to get drunk. Tony had wanted that experience firsthand like he’d never wanted anything else – except getting drunk never involved this much vulnerability or trust.

He put his head down on his hands and sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. There was no getting around it. This was like the elephant in the room that no one was mentioning, but it hung over every word and look that passed between them. The other members of the team were starting to wonder, and he could tell that, even if they would never pressure him about it, Steve and Bucky were anxious for an answer. Tony couldn’t blame them for that. It had been almost a week.

He’d been doing a lot of research, reading forums and articles and basically everything else that he could get his hands on, though JARVIS had helpfully filtered out a lot of the sexual stuff. It turned out that age play was a lot more varied than Tony was expecting it to be, though in retrospect that made sense. Reading about people like Bucky and Steve, some of whom were in long-standing relationships of this nature, was comforting; a lot of their posts said the same things that Bucky and Steve had said.

Reading about it from the other side, about people who were in the same position Tony would be in, was kind of scary. They all had a lot of the same fears and apprehensions that Tony did. He hadn’t yet figured out if that was a good thing or not, but he supposed that it meant that the experience of opening yourself up and being vulnerable was always terrifying regardless of who you were.

In the end, the truth was that Tony did want it. He wanted to be loved. That was the crux of the matter. He was still worried about what would happen afterwards if it turned out that this wasn’t what they all thought it would be, and he didn’t know if he was capable of getting into the right headspace, and he wasn’t sure if the team would make it through if this didn’t work out, but he wanted it. He wanted it so much that it ached. He wanted to know that all that affection wasn’t reserved solely for that baby that was now long gone.

“Give me strength,” Tony muttered, sitting back up. His hands were actually shaking in fear. How long had it been since that happened? He flexed his fingers a few times, took a deep breath and stood, realizing that he had come to a decision. Really, he thought he’d always known what his answer would be. He couldn’t let this chance slip out of his fingers, not when it meant he might be able to have Steve and Bucky for even a little while. He wasn’t selfless enough for that.

Step one would be telling Bucky and Steve that he’d made his decision. If they still wanted to do this, they could go from there.

Grabbing his tablet, he made his way out of the workshop and into the elevator, which JARVIS moved without being asked. The elevator doors opened on an empty floor, but Tony could hear the sound of a television playing. He walked down the hall and found Steve laying on the bed, watching some kind of movie. As soon as he saw Tony, he sat up and muted it. Tony smiled weakly and glanced around, noticing that the crib was gone from the corner of the room. Steve followed his gaze.

“Coulson’s sister came and picked it up,” he said, answering the unspoken question. “Bucky and I would’ve kept it, but it wasn’t ours.”

“That’s okay,” Tony said. He wasn’t sure how he would’ve felt about having the small crib around anyway. Like he was competing with a ghost of himself, probably. Besides, it wasn’t like an adult was going to be able to fit into something so tiny. He was rather hoping that Bucky and Steve might buy a new crib, one that would fit an adult, but he didn’t know if that would be too much to ask for.

“What’s up?” Steve asked with a cautious smile.

Tony tore his eyes away from where the crib had been and looked at Steve. “I wondered if we could talk. Where’s Bucky?”

“In the gym. JARVIS, can you ask Bucky to come up?” Steve said.

“Of course,” JARVIS said.

They went out to the living room, where they waited in awkward silence for Bucky to come. Steve kept looking at him, but Tony couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, he stared down at his tablet like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He was so nervous he felt sick to his stomach. By the time Bucky walked in, glistening with sweat and mopping at his forehead with a towel, Tony almost regretted coming upstairs. His grip on the tablet was so tight that his knuckles had turned white.

“Hey,” Bucky said hesitantly. “JARVIS said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Tony wanted to talk to us,” Steve said, and then suddenly Tony could feel the force of two stares against the top of his head. It made him feel like he was a little kid, and he’d done something wrong and was being quizzed by his parents. Strangely, the feeling wasn’t necessarily a bad one.

“I’ve been thinking,” Tony began, then stopped. He was shaky with apprehension and his throat was suddenly, painfully dry.

“How about a drink?” Bucky said, exchanging a look with Steve, and moved into the kitchen. Moments later, he returned with three glasses of water. Tony took one and sipped slowly.

“Tony, whatever you’re going to tell us, it’s okay,” Steve said gently. “We won’t be angry. Nothing about how we are will change, okay? You’re calling the shots here.”

They thought he was going to say no, Tony realized. He swallowed his mouthful of water and steeled himself. He could do this. He was Tony Stark, Iron Man, co-leader of the Avengers, genius, billionaire, philanthropist, and all around badass. This was not going to be the moment when his courage failed him. He squared his shoulders, summoned all of his courage, and spoke.

“Actually, Steve, I’m not. This is something that concerns all of us and you and Bucky have a say in what happens just as much as I do. I want to know that you’re both getting something out of this, and that it works for you just as much as it does for me. So, we’ll have to…” His voice failed him momentarily. He cleared his throat and pushed on. “We’ll have to set up boundaries and figure out what works and what doesn’t. Figure out a schedule of some kind if we don’t want to wing it. Maybe even have safe words just in case something goes wrong.”

“Wait,” Bucky said. “Are you – Tony, are you –”

“I’m agreeing to a trial,” Tony said, and then paused. He hadn’t known he was going to say that until he did, but it made sense. “We can give it a shot for say, two or three months. Once that’s over, we can regroup and see how it’s going for everyone. If there’s anything we need to change, or – you know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “How does that sound?”

“It sounds fucking amazing,” Bucky said, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Tony, can I hug you?”

Tony nodded quickly and Bucky practically jumped across the distance between them, pulling the glass out of Tony’s hand and setting it on the coffee table, and then enveloping Tony into a huge hug. It had a week since Tony’d had this, and he could admit, if only to himself, that he’d missed it desperately. Bucky’s arms were warm and comfortable and safe, like it was where Tony belonged. How could he ever have even thought about not taking them up on their offer?

“Steve, you okay?” Bucky asked.

Opening one eye, Tony realized that Steve was just sitting there staring at them with this incredibly dopey expression on his face. Like he’d just seen all of his dreams come true at once. Tony flushed and turned his head into Bucky’s shoulder to hide even as he felt the sofa sink to his left, and then Steve’s arms were wrapping around both him and Bucky.

“Yeah,” Steve croaked. “I’m fine. I’m just… really happy.”

“Sap,” Bucky muttered, but his voice was filled with teasing affection.

“I’m not the only one smiling from ear to ear, Buck.”

“You’re both dorks,” Tony mumbled.

Bucky mock gasped. “The sass. Is this what we’re going to be putting up with?!”

“Yes,” Steve said without skipping a beat.

“Well, that’s alright. I like it. Oh!” Bucky gave a gasp for real this time and jumped up off the couch. Tony, startled by the sudden lack of support, nearly fell off the couch after him, but Steve grabbed him around the waist just in time.

“What?” Tony said, bewildered.

“We have to show Tony!” Bucky said excitedly to Steve.

“Oh yeah.” Steve grinned and stood up, but he took Tony with him. Tony couldn’t help squeaking as he was effortlessly picked up and set on his feet. He tried to recover, smoothing down the front of his shirt and looking curiously between them.

“Show me what?” he asked suspiciously.

“Right this way,” Bucky said, putting a hand on Tony’s lower back and steering him back towards the bedrooms. But they didn’t go to Steve’s bedroom. Instead, Steve walked over to the door directly across. So far as Tony knew, it was just being used as a guest room right now – and since Steve rarely, if ever, had guests, that meant the room wasn’t really being used at all.

“Bucky got a little carried away,” Steve explained.

“Excuse me, you bought just as much,” Bucky said.

“Bought?” Tony repeated. “Bought what?”

By way of response, Steve opened the door. Tony’s jaw dropped when he saw the room… or maybe he should just go ahead and call it a nursery. There was a crib, a changing table, a chest of drawers, a huge rocking chair, and two toy boxes, plus a bunch of other boxes stacked into the far corner. Tony looked around with amazement as he slowly walked over and picked a stuffed gray cat up off one of the boxes. It had bright green eyes and a cute pink nose.

“What is this?” he whispered.

“It’s for you,” Bucky said gently. “Steve and I were hoping… I mean, we wanted to have stuff ready just in case. I hope it’s not too much.”

“I’m going to paint the walls eventually once we get it all unpacked,” Steve added. “We can use this room as much or as little as you want.”

“I can’t believe you did this,” Tony said.

“Well… We never got to outfit a nursery for you when you were a baby,” Bucky admitted.

“So, we wanted to this time,” Steve finished.

Tony swallowed and blinked, hugging the cat toy to his chest, and had to fight to keep his voice steady as he said, “It’s amazing.”

Chapter Text

As soon as the door closed gently behind Tony, Steve exhaled and turned to Bucky. "What do you think?"

"I think we're the luckiest sons of bitches to ever walk this earth," Bucky said without skipping a beat, a broad grin crossing his face. It brightened his pale blue eyes and took years off his face; for a moment, Steve could almost make himself believe he was looking at the Bucky from eighty years ago. Seeing how happy Tony's agreement had made Bucky was more than enough to plaster an identical grin across Steve's face.

"I know. I still can't believe he said yes," Steve said. When Tony had originally spoken, it had taken Steve a moment or two to realize that he hadn't misheard things after all. He'd almost convinced himself that he had misheard things before Bucky spoke to him. And then, that moment when they'd shown Tony the nursery... Steve would remember that wondering look on Tony's face for the rest of his life. It also hadn't escaped his notice that, when Tony left, he took the gray stuffed kitten toy with him.

"I can't either. Tonight is going to be amazing," Bucky said, practically rubbing his hands together with glee.

"Ah, Buck, don't get your hopes up too much," Steve cautioned. "It might take us all a while to figure out how to make this work. Tony might be embarrassed or shy the first couple of times."

"If that's the case, we'll just have to figure out how to set him at ease," Bucky said confidently, walking down the hall. He disappeared into the bathroom, presumably to take a shower, leaving Steve standing there shaking his head at Bucky's eternal optimism.

Then again, Bucky had been right about Tony saying yes. Maybe Steve was being too pessimistic about the situation. He walked back into the nursery and looked around thoughtfully, mentally categorizing all of the things that still needed to be done. After a long conversation, they had all agreed that Tony would come back in a couple of hours for their first session. If Steve and Bucky had their way, Tony would be spending the night. That meant the nursery would need to be ready for Tony's arrival. Steve rolled up his sleeves and got to work.

He put away most of the clothing, shoes, and toys that they'd bought off the internet, then unpacked the boxes full of diaper supplies and put them away into the changing table. Some of the things, like bottles and pacifiers, went out to the kitchen to be thoroughly washed and dried before use. Then he made up the crib with the cat printed blankets that Bucky had picked out and installed the animal-themed mobile above the crib. The mobile was pre-programmed to play a lullaby version of a rock song that Steve knew Tony loved. It also doubled as a nightlight, so Tony wouldn't need to worry about the dark.

Once the nursery was ready to his satisfaction, he washed the bottles and pacifiers and set them out to be used later. Tony had loved drinking bottles when he was baby. Steve was hoping that love would've stayed with him, but just in case it hadn't - or just in case Tony's headspace fell a little bit older - he had also had Bucky order some sippy cups. He washed those as well but put them into the cupboards. They'd start Tony off with a bottle that was filled with either milk or a nutritional supplement, depending on whether Tony ate supper, and see how that went.

With all that done, Steve headed to the gym to work off some of his nervous energy. He spent a couple of hours there, until JARVIS piped up to remind him that there was only an hour to go. Steve returned to his floor and took a shower of his own, then met up with Bucky in the living room. His heart was racing in nervous anticipation; he could see the same feelings reflected in Bucky. They exchanged excited looks and sat on the couch to wait for their baby.

At precisely 6pm, there was a timid knock on the door. Tony nudged it open a second later. Steve's heart immediately went out to him. It looked like it was taking every ounce of Tony's courage to come into the room. Bucky and Steve glanced at each other again. Through years of being close friends, they could communicate silently with just a couple of looks. And in those few seconds, they had a quick conversation about how to handle this. Then Bucky relaxed back against the couch and turned on the television, while Steve stood up and walked over to Tony.

"Hey," he said, keeping his voice gentle. "You okay?"

Tony didn't look at him, instead fiddling with the two toys in his arms. He was holding onto Boo Bear and the kitten toy. It was already an adorable sight that warmed Steve's heart to the core. He decided that actions might speak louder than words and so held his hand out without saying anything else. A tiny furrow appeared between Tony's eyebrows, but he only hesitated for a couple of seconds before shifting the toys into one arm and taking Steve's hand. Steve squeeze his hand and then turned, leading Tony away from the living room and down the hall to the nursery.

"It looks different," Tony said softly, looking around.

"I spent a couple of hours getting things ready," Steve replied. "Now, the first thing we need to do is get you outta those clothes." He looked Tony over. He could tell that Tony had showered since being here last. Right now, he was wearing a pair of jeans and one of the muscle shirts he usually wore to work in the lab. There was nothing wrong with his outfit exactly, but it definitely wouldn't help to get Tony in a babyish mood.

"Out of my clothes?" Tony repeated. "Into what?"

Steve shot him a grin. "Go look in the closet." He bent down and took a fresh diaper out of the changing table, along with baby powder.

"Oh my god. How much did you let Bucky buy?!" Tony exclaimed.

"You should know never to get between Bucky and online shopping by now," Steve said dryly.

Tony turned, then froze. "What the hell is that?"

"It's... a diaper?" Steve said.

"You don't seriously expect me to wear that," Tony said, face flushing.

"JARVIS told us you've been wetting the bed," Steve said as gently as he could. "Baby, you're here for Bucky and me to take care of you. If you don't want to wear a diaper, you don't have to... but I don't think you'd enjoy the alternative."

Tony's blush deepened and he scowled. "Fine. But I won't be using it. And I can put it on myself."

"Fair enough," Steve said. He suspected that probably wouldn't be turn out to be true; from what JARVIS had said, Tony was wetting the bed regularly when he slept now. It seemed unlikely that the same thing wouldn't happen this time, but Steve was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being. If - when - Tony used the diaper, they could see then if he wanted help being changed.

He set the diaper down and walked over to the closet, and, after thinking about it, pulled out a red, short-sleeved onesie that Bucky had bought. The animal ones were probably taking it a step too far tonight. The onesie was plain, but it also had snaps up the insides of the legs and crotch to allow for each access diaper changes. Plus, Tony loved the color red. It seemed like a good compromise. He held it out to Tony, who gave the onesie a critical look but finally nodded and took it.

Steve kept his back turned and listened as Tony took his clothing off and put the diaper and the onesie on. The rustling and crinkling, combined with Tony's frustrated muttering, really made Steve want to turn around and help, but he refrained. One step at a time, he reminded himself. If they pushed too far too fast, it would be way too easy to scare Tony off. They had to strike the right balance between letting Tony come to his own acceptance of things and pushing Tony outside of his comfort zone. Getting him into the diaper and onesie was an excellent first start.

"Okay," Tony said finally, sounding so grumpy that Steve had to smile. He turned around and bit his lip to hide another grin, because Tony looked adorable in the onesie. Tony's face reddened again, like he knew what Steve was thinking, and he brought the toys up closer to his face like he wanted to hide behind them, and his face screwed up into a familiar pout. Steve quickly decided to mitigate the situation before he had a tantrum on his hands.

"Wanna ride?" Steve said, opening his arms.

"A ride?" Tony repeated.

"Yup. C'mere." Steve stepped closer and slid his hands beneath Tony's armpits. His supersoldier strength enabled him to lift Tony up easily; he brought Tony to his hip, holding him there with an arm wrapped around Tony's waist. Tony squeaked in surprise and hastily wound his legs around Steve's waist, grabbing Steve's shirt with his free hand like he was afraid Steve would drop him. He clutched at his toys with his free hand, peering down like the floor was mile away instead of a couple feet.

"Wh-what, what are - what are you -" he stammered out.

"I love carrying you," Steve said gently. "Bucky does too. And we know you love being carried." He swayed back and forth a little, patting Tony's back with his free hand to give Tony time to get used to the situation.

“I don’t love being carried,” Tony objected.

“Really,” Steve said in a completely disbelieving tone, remembering that night he’d carried Tony upstairs to the bedroom. Tony had melted into him and whined every time Steve tried to put him down. He was pretty sure that once Tony got over his awkward embarrassment, those feelings would return.

He moved over to the window, pretending he didn’t notice how much tighter Tony held when they walked, and stood there looking out. In the tower, they were so high up that they were afforded an excellent view of New York. Steve had grown fond of staking out an empty S.I. office on the fifteenth floor so that he could people watch and work on his sketchbook.

But this was interesting too, because he could see into a lot of the office buildings around them. People going about their days and nights, totally unaware that Captain America was watching them. He’d seen a handful of office dalliances this way, not that that was his intention – though it was kind of funny to see how furtive and secretive people thought they were being, when in reality they were the exact opposite. Unlike them, the tower’s windows were all treated so that, while Steve and Tony could see out, no one could see in.

“We’re not here to judge you, Tony,” Steve said after a couple of minutes. “Bucky and I want this too. Whatever you’re willing to give us, we’ll take… but we want you to be comfortable with it too. You don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed for anything that happens tonight, or any other night the three of us spend together. Tonight, you’re a baby. Our baby.”

Tony went still as those words sank in, and Steve held his breath in the hopes that he hadn’t ruined everything. He deliberately didn’t look at Tony but continued to stare out the window like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Gradually, he felt Tony start to relax. It became less like holding a stiff board in his arms, and more like holding a person. The tight grip Tony had on him eased.

“Sorry,” Tony mumbled finally.

Immediately, Steve shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I know this is weird and kind of awkward. We’ve already agreed to take it slow. I just… I don’t want you to think Bucky and I are going to suddenly think you’re weird or start making fun of you.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Tony said, the rest of the tension flowing out of him. He slowly started to low his head onto Steve’s shoulder, pausing when he was almost there like he thought Steve might react – and then following through when Steve didn’t.

And it felt… god, Steve couldn’t even put it into words. That same warm, affectionate, protective feeling washed over him, exactly the way it had when Tony was physically a baby and Steve was holding him. It was easily one of the best things he’d ever felt, and completely addictive. Steve couldn’t help tightening his grip a little and closing his eyes, savoring the moment.

Chapter Text

While Steve and Tony were otherwise occupied, Bucky went into the kitchen to prepare some dinner. He and Steve hadn't eaten, and he knew Tony well enough to know that Tony wouldn't have eaten either. He whistled softly under his breath as he prepared what had been one of Tony's favorite meals when Tony was a baby: peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Not exactly the pinnacle of cuisine, but it was simple and easy.

Then he sat down at the table and grabbed a sandwich, biting into it. By the time Steve and Tony came out, Bucky was three sandwiches in and idly contemplating a fourth. He lost all interest in food when he caught a glimpse of Tony for the first time. The boy looked incredibly cute, dressed in a bright red onesie and perched on Steve's hip, clutching his stuffed toys to his chest. Behind Tony's head, Steve caught Bucky's eye.

"Shy and nervous," Steve mouthed.

Bucky gave a subtle nod. They had both anticipated this. "Sorry I couldn't wait. I was too hungry," he announced, letting out a loud burp.

"Bucky, seriously?" Steve said, giving him an exasperated look. "You weren't raised in a barn."

"Naw, just the streets of New York," Bucky said, winking at Tony. He was pleased when Tony's face crinkled into a shy smile and patted the seat beside him. Steve set Tony down, and Tony slowly walked over. The soft crinkle as Tony moved told Bucky that Steve had been successful with getting a diaper on him.

He picked up a plate and put a sandwich on it, using his knife to briskly cut it into bite-sized pieces. Then he set the plate in front of Tony. Tony looked at the plate and then looked back at Bucky. He made no move to touch the sandwich.

"Oh, right. Crusts," Bucky said, as though that was the reason for Tony's hesitation. He started to reach for the plate again, but Tony shook his head furiously and wrapped an arm around it.

"No! S'fine," he said, curling his body protectively around the plate like he was daring Bucky to pry it away. He set his toys on the table beside his plate so that he could hold the plate with both hands.

"Okay, if you're sure," Bucky replied. He backed off as Steve came to sit across from them. Both of them tried to pretend they weren't looking at Tony, but Bucky couldn't resist watching out of the corner of his eye as Tony picked up every bite and slowly nibbled at it.

Seemed some things didn't change, then. As an adult, Tony consumed his meals relatively quickly. As a baby, Tony ate very slowly. It could take him upwards of 30-40 minutes to consume a single bottle, and that was when he was wide awake. When he was sleepy, it could take even longer because Bucky or Steve would have to keep shaking him awake and encouraging him to keep eating.

"Thanks for the sandwiches, Buck," Steve said, taking several for himself.

"No problem. I didn't really feel up for take-out tonight," Bucky replied. He took a fourth sandwich, just for something to do, and started eating it.

Tony ate most of what Bucky had given him but seemed to lose interest towards the end. He pushed his plate away with the last couple of pieces still on there - crusts, Bucky was amused to note. Bucky stood up and wet a cloth in the sink, then moved back over to Tony and quickly wiped Tony's hands and face. He kept his movements brisk and calm, like there was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Thought we'd watch a movie tonight," Steve said, just as Tony opened his mouth with what was no doubt a protest.

"Sounds good to me. There's never anything good on at night. Got any ideas for what we can watch, Tony?" Bucky asked.

Tony paused, looking caught off-guard. "Umm... no?"

"Think about it," Bucky said with a small smile. “Maybe Tangled?”

“Okay,” Tony said, maybe a bit too quickly, but Bucky wasn’t surprised. When Tony was a physical baby, Disney movies had been one of the few things that completely enraptured his attention. He could literally sit for hours watching them if Steve or Bucky didn’t interrupt.

“I’ll clean up since you cooked. You guys go ahead,” Steve said.

“I didn’t exactly cook much,” Bucky said dryly, but dropped the cloth in the sink and gently helped Tony up. They walked into the living room together. Tony took a seat on the couch, but Bucky moved over to the small linen closet and opened it up. He loved cuddling underneath a blanket while watching a movie. Steve, on the other hand, usually got too hot and didn’t like blankets.

He pulled down his favorite blanket – navy blue, incredibly fluffy, and super soft – and shuffled back to the couch. Tony gave him an odd look as Bucky sat and draped the blanket over their laps, but quickly became distracted by running his fingers over the blanket. Bucky pulled his feet up underneath the blanket and kicked his shoes off, sighing happily.

“This is really soft,” Tony whispered.

“I know. I wouldn’t let you sleep on it when you were a baby for fear of you throwing up on it,” Bucky said. “I’m so happy that I finally get to share it with you.”

Tony flushed but gave another one of those shy smiles that made Bucky’s heart skip a beat. “I’m happy too… I think. This is all so… I dunno, different.”

“You mean weird?” Bucky said, guessing the word Tony really wanted to use. “Hon, you’re sitting on the couch with a super solider who looks like he’s in his twenties but is actually over a hundred. There’s another, famous super soldier in the kitchen. And you are a certifiable genius, billionaire, superhero. At this point, I think everything about our lives has to be weird. It’s just the way it is.”

"Well... I guess when you put it like that," Tony said. He pulled the blanket up higher and inched closer to Bucky, who eagerly opened his arms and pulled Tony more snugly against his chest. Tony ended up resting his head in the crook of Bucky's shoulders, staring at the television with half-lidded eyes. He was laying more on Bucky than he was on the couch, but his weight was barely noticeable. They really needed to make him eat more, Bucky reflected.

JARVIS had turned the TV on, and Tangled's opening scene was playing. Steve joined them about ten minutes in. Bucky's eyes widened slightly when he saw what Steve was holding: Tony's stuffed animals and a bottle full of warmed milk. It was true that, when Tony was a baby, he always had a bottle of milk right after supper and then a bottle of water before bedtime. He wondered if maybe Steve was trying to move too fast, but no sooner had that thought crossed Bucky's mind than Tony glanced up and spotted the bottle. He tensed against Bucky.

"Here," Steve said like nothing was wrong, dropping the two toys into Tony's lap.

"What is that?" Tony demanded.

"It's a bottle," Steve said. Bucky snorted as Tony's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not stupid. I meant, what are you doing with it?" Tony said.

"It's for you," said Steve, dropping down onto Tony's other side. He held out the bottle. "Would you like Bucky or I to hold it, or do you want to?"

Tony opened his mouth and then closed it a couple of times without speaking, and Bucky was positive that was it. They'd pushed too far, and Tony was going to throw the stuffed toys at the opposite wall, strip out of the onesie and the diaper, and storm naked out the door while cursing the two of them at the top of his lungs. He even braced himself, because Tony had a mean right hook when he was pissed off. Even Steve got a nervous look on his face and looked down at the bottle like he thought Tony might grab it and smash it on the ground.

"Bucky."

"What?" Steve and Bucky said together.

"I want Bucky to do it," Tony said, very quietly.

Steve couldn't have looked more shocked if Clint had burst out of the closet and slapped him upside the head with a wet fish. Bucky knew the feeling. He stared at Tony for a moment, but Tony wouldn't meet his eyes. Instead, Tony gathered Boo Bear and the stuffed kitten close and hugged them to his chest. It was such a childish thing to do that it jolted Bucky out of his shocked stupor, and he reached out to grab the bottle before Tony could change his mind. He could feel the warmth of the milk through the glass as he tentatively brought the nipple closer to Tony's mouth.

Tony parted his lips again, letting Bucky slide the bottle in. He closed his mouth and gave a tentative suck, swallowing the first mouthful of milk. It must have been what he wanted, because he settled back in against Bucky and continued drinking. Bucky did his best to keep the stupidly dopey smile off of his face, but he wasn't sure he succeeded. It had been so long since he'd been able to give a baby a bottle. He was shocked to find out how much he'd missed it.

And maybe... maybe Tony had missed it too. Bucky pondered that as he wrapped his free arm around Tony's shoulders, subtly adjusting them both into a slightly more comfortable position. Obviously, Tony missed it all to some degree or he wouldn't be here. But maybe Tony had missed specific things, like being able to drink from a bottle or trusting someone to rock him to sleep or being able to play with some toys in the bathtub. Maybe someday, Tony would feel comfortable enough to tell them about those things. For now, he and Steve would have to work by trial and error.

Bucky suddenly had the feeling, though, that there wasn't much Tony would say no to.

It took maybe ten to fifteen minutes for Tony to finish the bottle. He drank the whole thing, and even tried to keep sucking a bit after the milk was all gone. Bucky regretfully pulled the bottle away and gently but firmly tapped Tony’s upper chest. They’d spent too many nights walking around with a gassy baby to not burp Tony after he was doing with a bottle.

Tony burped, then blushed and looked mortified. He buried his face in his hands with a squeak. Steve and Bucky exchanged besotted expressions, because holy shit that was adorable, and really Tony had nothing to be embarrassed about considering that Bucky was the one who had provoked that reaction.

“Here, baby boy,” Steve said, producing an adult-sized pacifier from nowhere. When Tony peeked up, Steve deftly popped it into his mouth.

“There, all good!” Bucky said cheerfully, setting the bottle down on the coffee table.

A faint scowl, or maybe the beginnings of a pout, flashed across Tony’s face, and Bucky half-expected him to spit the pacifier out only because it was something that baby Tony used to do all the time – he liked sucking on Steve’s fingers or Bucky’s hair. But perhaps a better conscience prevailed, and Tony gave the pacifier a half-hearted suck before settling back down against Bucky.

Dodged that bullet, Bucky thought with a grin, raising his eyebrows at Steve. Steve grinned back and shifted closer to Tony, pulling Tony’s feet into his lap. He wrapped his other arm around Tony’s shoulders, so that Tony was comfortably enclosed between them. The couch felt a little smaller with three full-sized men as opposed to two men and a baby, but that wasn’t a bad thing.

No, Bucky was pretty sure that all three of them could easily get used to this.