Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[ yonglssss changed to mingenius ]

mingenius: can you guys stop changing my fucking name

hope4dik: no

mingenius: ….

hope4dik: i been meaning 2 ask

hope4dik: wtf is with you atm i swear i saw you skipping to your dorm like 5 minutes

hope4dik: ago

sockjeanboi: w h a t

joonietunes: ahhaahajambalanagajalanaan EXPOSED

sockjeanboi: wym exposed

hope4dik: ^^^^

mingenius: istg

joonietunes: :DDD

mingenius: …

sockjeanboi: spill

hope4dik: ^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!

mingenius: so

mingenius: the weather has been so nice what do u guys think

joonietunes: AJABAJAMAJAKANANL

hope4dik: fucking spill or im making you

joonietunes: Careful we dont want a horrendous tsunami to flood his pillowcase again :(

mingenius: namjoon istg

hope4dik: what

sockjeanboi: what

mingenius: namjoon has a deathwish

joonietunes: yoongi had a soft side once

sockjeanboi: what

mingenius: im going to kill you namjoon i know where u live

joonietunes: good bring a ladder so u can actually reach my neck

sockjeanboi: omg

[mingenius has left crackheadhyungs]

[ joonietunes has added mingenius to crackheadhyungs]

[ joonietunes changed mingenius to smol n feisty ]

smol n feisty: im actually gonna strangle you

[ smol n feisty changed to angery ]

hope4dik: what

joonietunes: yoongi was very emotional when he was 13. and he wrote shockingly touching poetry

angery: can we drop it

joonietunes: and i think jungkook is bringing his old emo self back

seokjeanboi: aaaaah i getchu

joonietunes: but i think its only seriously worrying when he starts wearing black nailpolish again

mingenius: . . . .

joonietunes: or writes yoongi + jungkook all over his algebra binders

seokjeanboi: fu ck ajahabJan

hope4dik: what

seokjeanboi: uh yk

seokjeanboi: jeon jungkook from ur dance class

hope4dik: yea

seokjeanboi: yoongi has a music assignment with him

hope4dik: and

joonietunes: he keeps sighing dreamily

hope4dik: …

hope4dik: OH

hope4dik: OH MY GOD OK YES PLS

angery: i hate all of you

hope4dik: i GOT U YOONGS DW

angery: what

hope4dik: I SAID I GOTCHU

angery: thats why im worried

hope4dik: :-)))))

angery: seok no

hope4dik: :-)))))))))))))((

——-

[ hobi has created losers]

[ hobi has added joon ]

[ hobi has added yoongi ]

yoongi: pls no

[ hobi has added jin ]

joon: oh boy

yoongi: i will strangle you in your sleep seok

[ hobi has added kook ]

[ hobi has added tae ]

kook: ??

[ hobi has added chim ]

kook: wtf hyung

hobi: hello

hobi: hello demons its me ya boi

[ hobi changed losers to demonz]

tae: wut

joon: omg tae like taehyung

tae: um?

joon: im the guy that walked into yhe door and u helped me up

tae: :OOO

joon: thanks for that

joon: also hi

hobi: shut the f

hobi: uck up

hobi: your all my friends and also all loners that need more friends so youre welcome for this opportunity thank me later

kook: oh thats cool!

yoongi: no

yoongi: bye

[ yoongi has left demonz]

kook: wait was that yoongi like min yoongi

hobi: :-)))))))

kook: i didnt know u knew him what

tae: o

tae: OH

tae: OH LIKE / TH E / YOONGI HYUNG MMMMM??

kook: stop

tae: ;)))))))

kook: ill beat ur ass istg

tae: wouldnt u prefer someone else to do that ;))))))

kook: u know what nvm

[ kook has left demonz]

chim: ill do pages 44-52

chim: wait this isnt the history of contemp gc

chim: what is this

jin: so i assume this pining thing is mutual?

joon: 100%

chim: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

Chapter Text

[private chat: rm to agustd ]

rm: soooo

agustd: mh?

rm: hows your assignment for m.p.?

agustd: good.

rm: what are you even doing?

agustd: producing a cover song? i told you this?

rm: i meant what song youre doing, twat

agustd: im ur hyung

rm: sorry

rm: *hyung-twat

agustd: you know what fuck you

rm: i think youd rather fuck someone else, hyungiee?

agustd: when tf did u become so annoying

rm: idk

rm: i have my moments

rm: so?

rm: what song?

rm: ????

rm: hello???

rm: yoongi-ssi dearest please share that precious information with me uwu <3

agustd: i wanna vomit

rm: is jungkook that bad of a singer omg

agustd: no.

rm: so hes good?

agustd: yea

rm: what song?

agustd: ..nothing like us

rm: aw love u too hyung

rm: but what song???

rm: wait

agustd: how did you make top 1% i honestly dont understand

rm: rude

rm: but what ???? youre doing bieber??

rm: r u ok

rm: is it rly u min suga???

agustd: jungkook likes the song

rm: youre so fuvkimh soFT i love it ahhh

agustd: am not

rm: are too.

agustd: …

agustd: he sounds really pretty joon

rm: this is so cute omg

agustd: i fuvking hate you goodbye

rm: but hyungie :,,(

rm: ..

rm: ??

rm:  wow really now

rm: hello?????

rm: pfft whatever just make sure you dont drool

—

[private chat: coco to gucci ]

coco: 19jkj33.jpg

coco: we r recording

coco: hes so pretty tae im

coco: he keeps textimg this is so awkward

coco: hes blushing lol bye

coco: hes dating someone i knew it

coco: why must my life b like this

coco: tae you fuvking suck hello why are uou leaving me alone in this misery

gucci: you keep texting too moron??? Tf

coco: :((

coco: he looks so nice today

coco: like beanie and oversized hoodie i jus wanna cuddle him :,,(

gucci: do it then and stop bothering me

coco: fuck u too

coco: and i cant

coco: i told you hes like texting his s/o

gucci: he doesnt have one kookie stop

coco: but he does why else nwould he blushing at his texts????

gucci: idk maybe he got a reminder for a prostate exam or smth?

coco: wtf

gucci: what you’d be blushing at that

coco: etf is wrong w u

gucci: goodbye jungkook

coco: noooo dont leave noo

coco: FONT LEAVE ME ALONE

coco: KIM TAEHYUNG

coco: I HATE YOU

—

[ tae changed demonz to the boiz]

tae: so

hobi: ok rude

tae: stop

[ hobi changed the boiz to hope n the boiz]

hobi: there there

chim: i heard tae groan from the other side of the classroo m ahahanakajaban

hobi: good

jin: why arent you paying attention in class

tae: idek u

jin: i

jin: true but still

joon: can you shut up i was sleeping

hobi: WAS

hobi: RISE AND SHINE MOTHEEFUCKER

hobi: BZZ BZZ IT ME

jin: im jin and im hoseoks roommate and ig we are friends???

joon: i hate you hobi

jin: now you know me

jin: pay attention in class

tae: asdfhjkll

tae: anyway

tae: yoongi and kookie are still out of the chat right?

chim: i just checked Yes

tae: what do we do about them

tae: if i hear jungkook wailing to jar of hearts in the Shower ONE (1) MORE TIME istg

joon: omg :(

jin: omg :(((

joon: dont out-sad me

jin: dont out-sad me :((((

[ joon has left hope n the boiz]

hobi: why must u 2 be like this

jin: they fucked up my coffee this morning @ star bucks,

hobi: so????

chim: this is highkey entertaining

jin: im still pissed i didnt get my iced americano???

tae: can we get back to the issue at hand?!!!

[hobi has added joon]

[ hobi changed joon to giant baby ]

[ giant baby has left hope n the boiz]

chim: qjajakjakalanaka stop omg

[ chim has added giant baby ]

[ chim changed giant baby to joonie ]

joonie: acceptable.

tae: ???????!!!!??!???

joonie: well i wasnt gonna let myself be insulted

tae: im not talking anou t you !!!?? you guys are all awful

joonie: :(

jin: @ tae , are you implying we should interfere with our friends love lives?

joonie: no

chim: yes

tae: yes

hobi: yes

jin: mhhhhhh

joonie: guys..

jin: how though?

chim: we could start with the gc idea try that again

jin: mhmmmmm

jin: lame but its all we have for now

jin: ok

tae: ok what

—

[ jin created jersey shore]

[ jin added tae ]

[ jin added joon ]

[ jin added chim ]

joon: why

[ jin added hobi ]

[ jin added yoongi ]

[ jin added kook ]

joon: why jersey shore

jin: idk the reruns are on rn

joon: wow

tae: creative

hobi: *slow claps*

jin: fucm you

[ jin changed jersey shore to fuckers]

kook: wow thanks

jin: :*

jin: we are trying this again. whoever leaves gets added bck in

jin: back*

yoongi: cant do that if i block you can you?

jin: good. leave then. and ill share your rap video from when you were 13

yoongi: i

hobi: WHAT

tae: I WANNA SEE

hobi: OMG

yoongi: fine im not leaving

tae: SHOW IT STILL

kook: why didnt u just add us to the old gc

jin: we deleted it

yoongi: sounds fake but ok

yoongi: wait jungkook you left too?

kook: they were bullying me

tae: ;))))))

chim: u liked it lowkey

kook: yes. thats why i left. u got me there

chim: i know ur into that shit stop pretending

kook: siri block park jam in

kook: no siri

kook: pack jim in

kook: block pack jam

kook: siri

kook: ASFDHJ FUCK THIS

chim: :,(( </33 i lov u kookie bear

kook: i despise u

joon: what did i miss are we discussing kinks omg

kook: no

joon: yoongi has an oppa kink

tae: ASDDKALAJ

joon: or hyung

joon: it depends who ur with right yoongs?

[ yoongi has left fuckers]

[ jin added yoongi ]

jin: this is your first strike, min yoongi

yoongi: i regret ever being born

tae: m o o d

[ tae changed yoongi to oppa ]

oppa: you wanna die

chim: tae is cackling

chim: tae was kicked out of the lecture

oppa: good

tae: worth it

[ oppa changed tae to tit ]

tit: wow youre so fucking lame i cant evwn be mad

oppa: fuck all of you

Chapter Text

[ chim sent 18hak78.jpg  to fuckers]

chim: hurry tf up im so hard hyung

chim: and pick up condoms

hobi: already done

hobi: dont touch yourself baby

chim: :((

hobi: im almost there bab y gonna fuck you so good

chim: fuckkk ok

———

jin: wtf

jin: w t f

jin: HELLO AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS

jin: omg

jin: dont oppen the piectuew

jin: omganomgn

jin: im honna die today

jin: AHHHHH

jin: CAN I BLEMACH MY EYEBALLS

joon: what

jin: scROLL UP OMG

jin: WAIT NO SONT U DONT WANNA SEE THAT

jin: NAMJOON

joon: well

joon: things i cant unsee

tit: whats going on

jin: DOMT CLICK THE PICTURE

kook: omg

jin: IKR

kook: no

kook: omg like i cant believe you didnt know about this

jin: WHNAT

oppa: good morning pls shut the fuvk up

tit: lmao the screenname

tit: and….. well that was kinda obviosu?

kook: right?

kook: i saw them actually doing it once at the studio

kook: or they were wrestling halfnaked

kook: u can never know . it was dark

tit: janajakazhakakns

oppa: what

kook: jimin and hoseok hyung fucked @ the studio

oppa: what

tit: i ship it :,)

oppa: ship what

tit: jimin and hobi

kook: jiseok

tit: homin

oppa: ..

tit: do u ship hoseok and jimin yoongihyung!!!???

oppa: where to?

joon: why would u give him a prompt like this tae

oppa: i mean

oppa: is it far enough away or are they gonna find their way back?

oppa: if they get lost in the jungle and i am free of my misery then yes i will ship them

kook: ….

tit: idk if ur being srs or not

joon: hes not

joon: i can hear him laughing to himself in his room

joon: hes literally wheezing

jin: again

tit: lol what

joon: he rarely makes jokes but if he does he finds them the funniest

tit: i thought that was the jin stereotype

jin: what

joon: what

oppa: fuck im so funny

kook: debatable

oppa: :(

kook: ok maybe

oppa: :,(

kook: maybe i chuckled

joon: you guYs are so VUTE

oppa: die.

hobi: good morning fellas

kook: scroll up hyung

hobi: what? me?

kook: yes just do it

hobi: ok?? hold up lol

tit: LMAOOHAJAMA

hobi: well

hobi: at least its not my nude

tit: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH

jin: why did you curse my eyes

joon: ^^^^^^^

hobi: idk it was 3am i thought thia was a private chat

jin: well it FFUCKING WASNT

hobi: yolo

chim: whats going on im in eco1

hobi: baby omg

chim: what

tit: im next to him hes scrolling up lmao

[ chim has left fuckers]

[ tit added chim to fuckers]

chim: no pls

kook: most of us knew anyway

jin: i didnt

joon: me neither

oppa: ^

kook: wow thanks guys

[ chim has left fuckers]

kook: ugH

[ tit added chim ]

[ tit changed chim to babyboy ]

oppa: omg

babyboy: STOP

[ babyboy changed to dancemachine ]

[ dancemachine changed fuckers to fucking assholes]

oppa: i dont think youre the one doing a whole lot of that are you

hobi: no hes not :)

dancemachine: SEOK

hobi: what its true

dancemachine: S E O K

hobi: its too late now anyway

dancemachine: fuck you im muting the chat

hobi: baby

hobi: sigh

jin: i made breakfast what did i miss???

tit: homin breakup

jin: good then i wont have to fear ever witnissing their sex life again

hobi: rude

hobi: ill still talk about it

joon: pls dont

hobi: i mean look at him

[hobi sent jiminpractice.jpg to fucking assholes]

hobi: hes fucking hot

hobi: also none of you can tell me that youve never jerked off to his lips

[hobi sent jiminsel.jpg to fucking assholes]

hobi: they rly do work wonders :))

hobi: youre all just jealous its my dick getting sucked not yours

[ jin changed hobi to nasty ]

nasty: lmao tru

—

joon: why do guys have adams apples but girls dont

joon: like have you ever thought about that

joon: like thats so weird

joon: at what point of developing the fetus does the cell tell the dna “yo in about 13 years just grow a lump of bone on the throat”

joon: like i understand nipples but whats the point of adams apples???

nasty: stop sharing ur spliff w namjoon, yoongs pls

oppa: :)

tit: whoa

jin: its 2am please stfu

tit: uuh how civil “stfu”

joon: the males vocal cords are bigger and need protecting

joon: wow what a boring explanation

tit: protecc

jin: shut up joob

jin: joon*

tit: joob

oppa: joob

jin: im going to bed ur all annoying

[ tit changed joon to joob ]

joob: wait what

joob: who is joob

joob: omg am i joob

joob: who am i

tit: omg

oppa: joonie go sleep

joob: my eyes are screaming

tit: huh

joob: imahine

joob: your eyes could talk

joob: but they scream everytime you bloimk bc they are sceared of the dark

tit: isnt that a tumblr post

joob: ahhh

joob: ahh

joob: ahhh

oppa: hes quietly shouting everytime he blinks now im

joob: aaaaah

joob: aannak n bnam

joob: hello this is yoongi. namjoon is a fucking dimwit and im taking his phone away goodnight

tit: laanamalanakal goodnight oppa <3

joob: you better sleep with one eye open, tit boy

—

[dancemachine changed to chim]

chim: hello twats

chim: hoseok convinced me to not pretend youre all dead anymore

chim: i decided ill just play into that slut image youre trying to force on me

kook: literally noone is doing that but ok

chim: yea right

oppa: how convincing was hoseok

chim: oh very ;) the bend me in half kind of convincing

oppa: i

oppa: gross

oppa: i meant how the chances are that you redecide that

oppa: bc it was nice n quiet without you here

chim: you know what

chim: the dicking was so good i dont even care

nasty: if u need reassurance just come over baby ;)

chim: its 1am

nasty: whats ur point

chim: ur right. omw.

[ oppa changed chim to nastier ]

nastier: i am not ashamed

nasty: u go baby im a proud dad

nastier: mmm i know ;)

nasty: fuck ok get ur ass here baby

[kook has left fucking assholes]

tit: mood

Chapter Text

[private chat: coco to gucci ]

coco: tea

coco: tae

coco: tit

[coco sent rew4r6t.jpg ]

coco:  TEAHUYYNG

coco: ISTG

gucci: jesus christ wtf its 2:30 in the morning

coco: yoongi postef a selfie ong

[coco sent jgg4hj.jpg ]

coco: fuck anot h er oNE

gucci: good for him?

coco: i wannt him to fick mr omg

gucci: u ok

coco: NO

coco: like fuck bend me over yoour styjdio couch yongi

gucci: are you drunk

coco: drunbk in looooooove

coco:  oojb ohh

coco: i love yoou beuonce

coco: if yoonggu and me were beyon ce and jayz would i be betonce or jayz

gucci: kookie pls

gucci: also youd be beyonce

coco: i thinkk yomgi would be beyonve hes so beaufiiyul

coco: so you ever think abohr yoongos organsm fave

gucci: no

coco: that bd be so so hoy ong i bet hes growl

coco: rawr

gucci: where r u

coco: my ropm

gucci: im coming over and you better not be jerking off istg

coco: raw r me toongi

coco: omg RAW m e yoongjo fuckkkk

coco: fuckkkk duck

coco: ta e????

—

[groupchat: hope n the boiz]

tae: jungkook is a bottom for anyone wondering

hobi: i think he a switch

tae: not w yoongi

joon: wait what

tae: he was drunk ln and cried over yoongis selca

tae: when i got to him he kept talking about how muxh he wants yoongis let me quote “yoongis cock up my ass fuck tae please i want him to fuck me up so bad”

jin: thx for making me imagine that

tae: :-)

joon: omg i thought they fucked

tae: i wish maybe then i would NOT have to hear jUngKoOK MASTURBATING RN

tae:  AHFRGH HELP

chim: come to mine hoseok is here too :))

tae: yk what no thx

tae: thats not better

jin: anabajanajaak

joon: the singles and ready to mingles should meet at jins !!

jin: how can i unread that

tae: what r u implying joon

jin: ew

tae: rude.

joon: huh

joon: i.. what?? we can watch ironman on netflix? what do you mean

tae: omg

jin: ahajakakajakakam cu te

joon: oh

joon: oh no thx i disnt mean that

tae: again: rude.

jin: sooo are you guys coming or

tae: is that even a question. yes.

joon: im picking up snacks rn ill be there in 10

jin: bring ur cinnamon chips

joon: ofc. duh.

jin: <3

—

[groupchat: fucking assholes]

nastier: lol omg look at thAT

[ nastier sent kgu34f.jpg   to fucking assholes]

joob: do we reaaaaally click that

joob: coming from u and all

nastier: fuck you

jin: what kind of crackhead behaviour

joob: OMG HAHAHA WTF

joob: TRU JIN

oppa: wow who would do that to their car lol tf

kook: Tae

nastier: tae.

nasty: Taehyung 100%

tit: oh my godddd that's adorable!!!!!

tit: that's ao cute omg!!!!!

joob: oh man :D

tit: what it's cute you're all just blind :<

jin: how can you own gucci slippers and tolerate lashes on a car????

tit: THEY'RE CUTE STOP

nastier: xD

tit: i want a car to put lashes on thats so cute.

—

joob: hello fellow homo

joob: homo sapiens*

joob: sigh plz i really didn’t mean to send that prematurely

tit: fellow homo

[ jin changed fucking assholes to fellow premature homo]

joob: jin

joob: jin why

joob: jin youre supposed to be the grownup here

nastier: you called?

kook: omG ahahaha

nastier: bcoz me

nastier: i am the gc name

nastier: ME

nasty: same lmfao

nastier: hello fellow homo

nasty: why hello to you, too fellow homo

joob: i hate you guys

jin: joonie

jin: jooooonie what did you want???

joob: :(

joob: i wanted to know if u all wanna go out. i passed my assignment and i need celebrations!!!

nasty: YES

tit: like clubbing?

joob: yes

joob: like clubbing

jin: usual?

joob: yes

kook: which is??

jin: neon in downtown. its like 20 minutes off campus

tit: OH kookie we been there!!

kook: yea i remember sure

kook: friday?

nasty: IM IN

oppa: ig

nasty: yoongi ur coming

oppa: i already said "ig" i would, shut up

nastier: i'll have to check practice schedule. if we have practice sat morning or not

joob: yes okay i hope you can come

joob: so we finally all get together <3

oppa: i can finally punch you all irl !!! yay!

jin: <33333 love u too yoonglz

oppa: you're first :*

—

[groupchat: hope n the boiz]

jin: are we trying to get yoonkook together or

tae: yes. baby steps

chim: i'll take care that kookie looks hot

joon: i'll make sure yoongi comes out in the first place

hobi: sounds like a plan!

tae: YAY!!!