Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

” I have found something big, little one."
"Appa?"
"So big it will change the way we live."
"I don't understand."
"Just wait a little bit more, Shiloh. I will make our lives better, I promise."
"But we're okay, Appa. There's nothing wrong."
"There is so much wrong in Gaea, little one."
"What do you mean?"
"I need to go. There's not much time."
"Appa, wait."
…
"Appa?"
…
"Appa?..."
 
Temples beaded with sweat. Breath, short. Chest, constricting. Skin, cold. Eyes, wide open.

This is how Shiloh wakes up in the middle of the night almost every day since her father was found dead in the Swamps. Whether it's a nightmare or a serene dream, she always finds herself crying after. He was her hero. The reason for her dreams and goals. He was her sun. And when he died, he took the light with him.

NOTE: For those who don't know basic Korean
Appa means Father
Eomma means Mother
Unnie/Eonnie is how a girl calls an older girl
Oppa is how a girl calls an older guy or calls someone special to her
Noona is how a guy calls an older girl
Hyung is how a guy calls an older guy

Hope that helped!

Chapter Text

"I'll be going Eomma!" Shiloh shouted from the kitchen as she grabbed a toast from her plate and took a sip from her cup of black coffee.

"Have proper breakfast Shiloh." Her mom shouted back, she knew her daughter almost always skipped breakfast making sure to sneak out while she was preparing for work.

"I can't, have lots of things to do at the station." The young one answered.

"You should listen to your mom more often, Captain. She is right with breakfast you know." A hiss followed after Rice's witty remark but she wasn't finished yet. "Besides, your stats clearly say you're not as fit as you think you are. You've lost weight, your phosphorous is low, it’s a wonder how you can even be perky right now! You're basically running on caffeine, Captain!"

Shiloh just rolled her eyes on her robot assistant. "You're starting to sound like my mom. I'm considering having you replaced. You know me too much!"

"I'm just stating facts here Captain." Rice even adopted her mannerism of raising her hands up when defending her alibis that she can't help but chortle which made her robot companion puzzled. "Something funny, Captain?"

"It's nothing. I'll eat breakfast if only so you can stop nagging!" And Rice made an effort to contort her facial features into a smile. "You look horrible, Rice. Stop it."

Rice remotely opened the screen and put on the news as Shiloh silently worked on her meal. 

"There's a new case of kidnapping that came in." She said matter-of-factly.

"And you're only telling me now?!"

"I was actually thinking if I should tell you later but yes, there is one.""

When?"

"Just a few minutes ago."

"Location?"

"North. A few meters from the school."

"The kid?"

"Her name is Son Namoo, 7. Her parents are on the fields, an officer is on his way to inform them. A teacher saw her being dragged away into a van."

"Plate number? Car identification?"

"Same as before."

Shiloh lowered her head, sighed, then shook her head slowly. She raised it back up, took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"If only we have enough cameras around."

"Which we don't have."

"You are not helping Rice."

Her mom came down to Shiloh wolfing down her toasts.

"That is not how a woman should eat. Have some dignity Shiloh." she reprimanded.

"Mom, I have no time to even chew. I gotta get to the North ASAP." the younger answered as her mom caressed her back.

With her lack of finesse, she managed to choke on a piece of toast to which Rice just gave her a pat on the back while she gobbled up the glass of milk her mom put on the table. From the looks of it, this happens often and the robot is no longer alarmed of such incidents. 

"Tough case, huh?" Mrs. Kang voiced out to which Shiloh nods.

"I wish there was more technology out there. The crime rate is getting out of hand..." The elder just watched as her daughter rambled on about her work.

Ever since Shiloh's father died, she has always been afraid of letting her daughter stay in the police force. But knowing her little one, Shiloh wouldn't give up her dream. Being a mother though, she can't help but think that maybe, it will be best for her daughter to switch careers or maybe accept those invitations coming from The Tower.

'She will be safer there' she thought.

"Gotta go mom. Want me to give you a ride?" Shiloh offered. It's rare for both of them to actually be awake and be together for more than 10 minutes and she certainly wanted the company. Rice doesn't really count since she's already become a constant in Shiloh's everyday life.

"I can walk darling. I don’t want to delay you." Her mom waved her off as she herself was getting ready to get out.

"I insist. It's on the way too." She gave her mom a warm smile and tugged her to the passenger seat of her police mobile.

"Have you considered the offers coming from The Tower?" this stopped Shiloh as she was fastening her seatbelt. The car became silent. So silent that the only noise was Rice's chips and gears whirring inside her.

"Eomma, you know I don’t want to go to The Tower. You'll be alone here." Shiloh kept her gaze on her knees, her hands balled into fists above them.

"Is it because of Appa?" That certainly hit a nerve, a memory that she and her daughter have been trying to avoid these past few years.Shiloh became still as a stone, trying to stop herself from crying but as her mom's hand touched her shoulder, all her strength crumbled. Her frame shook and tears started falling on her knuckles.

They both heard the click of the door as Rice removed herself from the situation. The robot assistant was always quite sensitive about Shiloh's emotions and always opted to distance itself unless Shiloh explicitly asked her to stay.

"Shiloh, dad's gone. You can't keep caging yourself here darling."

Shiloh's silent crying was already suffocating her but she still can't allow herself to bawl in front of her mother.

"You have to keep moving. You will have a brighter future at the Tower, Shiloh. They've been sending you letters every year since you entered the academy and the past couple of months, they've been more aggressive."

"I don't need it mom. I can't leave. Dad is here. All his memories are here. We haven't even received news about his killer." Shiloh's voice was seething with anger and her mother can understand why.

Mr. Kang was a good man. A model police officer and has received various awards for his work and patriotism. He was their light, the father of their home. He was the family's stronghold, the glue that kept them together. And when he died, his family felt lost. The manner of his death brought them more pain. Mrs. Kang can still remember the last night she saw her husband.

"Yeobo? where are you going? You just arrived. You're going out again?" Mrs.Kang asked as she woke up to the noise of cabinets.

"It's no longer safe for me to stay with you and Shiloh." /

Mr. Kang was never known to be a coward. He was a steadfast man, in firm belief of justice but right now his eyes were unfocused, his knees felt like buckling beneath his weight and he felt too cold even when there was summer heat. Ever since he received the recent threat, his heart never stopped pounding.

"What do you mean? It's safe here at the Blocks, Ja-Hong." 

"Nowhere is safe in Gaea, Narae. Me being here, means danger for you, and Shiloh too." He said as he took his wife by the shoulder.

"I don't understand. Why are you being like this?" Tears started to fall from her eyes as she started to realize what her husband is trying to tell her.

"I can't tell you right now, Yeobo. But please, take care of Shiloh. Make sure she finishes in the academy. Keep her safe. Make sure her heart is in the right place." His eyes were starting to water, realizing he will not see his family for a long time. Seeing his wife crying in fear is making it harder for him to leave.

"I know you can't tell me. But promise me you'll be back to us, okay?"He nods before embracing his wife goodbye.

Neither of them knew of the dreadful future.

"Shiloh, don't tell me…" Mrs. Kang's heart started thumping faster as she registered what Shiloh's reason was for staying.

"I'm sorry Eomma. This is the only way I know. I need to know." Her daughter murmured.

"I can not let you do this. Whatever the reason is, you need to let it go."

"I can't. And I refuse to let it go Eomma! How can you say that?!" Shiloh's nails were digging deeper in her palms, her whole body trembling in fury. She can't understand why her own mother is choosing to stay silent about the injustice that has been done to their family. Her own mother, telling her to move on and forget about everything?

"We can't let the pain take over our lives, Shiloh. You have a bright future ahead of you. Don't waste it on the past. Your father would not like it if you blatantly waste your life trying to find the answers."

"It just hurts so much." Shiloh finally admitted. "I am the first in my class. One of the best, if not the best officer out there and yet, I can't get justice for my own father. How can this happen to us?" Her chest was already constricting.

"We both don't know why this happened but I also don't want you to be stuck here. The Tower is where you belong. It's the best place where anyone could be." Mrs. Kang tried to convince Shiloh to accept the job offers

."I don't know Eomma. I just…."

"Just think about it Shiloh. For once, really consider it."

"I will try Eomma but I can't promise."

"That's okay for now."

"I'm sorry for raising my voice. I… I didn’t mean to."

"I know child." The mother said as she placed her hand over her daughter's.

"Everything will be okay. You just need to let yourself heal."

Shiloh just nodded as she revved the engine to start her long day.
 

Swamps North Central Police Station


Phones ringing, people rushing in and out of doors, faces on monitors, mugs of coffee. This is the usual sight at any police station in the Swamps. They were always neck deep in cases. Well, if the head of Police actually saw it fit to add officers and technology in these parts of the land then maybe they can start increasing their resolution rate.

"Captain Kang! The report is in your book. Rice uploaded it when she arrived." Detective Son Kangjoon readily reported as Shiloh walked inside the headquarters.

"Thank you, Son. Is the commander here?"

"He just arrived. I don't think it's a good time to bring bad news."

"There's no good time to bring bad news. C'mon Rice, we've got a report to hand over."
The robot was slowly shaking its head on the way to the commander's office. They were about to knock but his booming voice stopped Shiloh mid swing and they opted to sit at the receiving area.

"Lt. Son already told you it's not a good time." Rice reminded her.

"I heard him. You don't need to rub it in." And she rolled her eyes which Rice tried to imitate.

"They are from the Narcotics team. Ever since you moved to Child Abuse, their numbers have been suffering."

"Ugh! Those guys! I thought I left them enough instructions to keep them going. They really don't learn." Shiloh has worked with the Narcotics department for 3 years before moving to Child abuse when she got promoted to Captain.

It was where she grew as a police officer, working with her teammates to investigate cartels and plan raids that almost always result to drug busts. Her results were never disregarded as she was promoted to a senior police officer the same year of her deployment. She busted a triad on her second year which earned her the badge of a Lieutenant. He exemplary skills in planning and covert investigation was trusted by the commanders of the Narcotics division that she was given her own team dedicated to drug operations. By the start of her third year in service, she was promoted to Assistant Inspector which was shortly followed by her promotion to Captain.

Along with her fame amongst the ranks, she also gained popularity among rings of mafias and thug lords. Their last mission almost killed her which led her superiors to consider moving the young captain to another department. The sheer number of drug busts in her career made her the target of death threats. It even came to a point that the stations in The Blocks don't want her regularly visiting because they end up getting bomb threats or worse, the station actually ends up in flames.

Both Shiloh and Rice turned their heads when they heard the door click. They immediately stood up.

"Captain Kang!" Both detectives said in chorus as they gave a salute.

"Detectives." Shiloh answered knowingly as both officers lowered their heads.

"Not a good day huh?"

"It's been harder since you left Captain." The younger officer wasn't shy at being honest and Shiloh just gave both them a pat on the shoulder.

"You still have my notes and all the reminders I left right?"

"Yes Captain." They said again in chorus.

"We keep it like a bible. But it’s just different without you around. The work load seems heavier." The elder admitted.

"The work will always be heavy. You just need to find your own pace. My pace may not work for you so you need to create your own schedules and your own strategies. I'm sure you'll get there." She gave their arms a light squeeze and proceeded to enter the commander's office when she heard her name.

"We'll see you around Captain." The detectives said giving another salute.

"Any good news for me today?"

It was never easy to have conversations with their district commander. He is a results-driven person and has never been known to be forgiving of lapses and shortcomings. Admittedly though, he has taken a certain liking to his young Captain.

 "I'm afraid I don't Commander. Another case has been added this morning. Rice, can you kindly show us the data you gathered." Rice transmitted the data onto the commander's book and started the presentation.

"Another little girl. Were the parents already informed?"

"The officers here at North have been alerted and deployed. As per the recent update, the victim's parents have been escorted to Station N-27 sir. The station inspector there is briefing them on the situation as we speak." Rice interjected.

"How many?" The commander started massaging his left temple. The case is starting to get dirtier as the months drag on and even though he already assigned his best operatives, it seems like justice is still elusive.

"She will be our 29th Sir and I'm afraid she won't be the last." you can always depend on Shiloh to speak her mind. It was an awful truth but that is what keeps them going. She has been working on this case of child kidnappings for about a year now and she hasn't gotten any tangible lead.

"Suspects? Leads?" It was quite obvious that the commander was already at his limits for today.

"I have some leads but I would still need to conduct further research and investigation to solidify the case. I have asked help from a trusted officer over at Pan and he will be sending me some intel on the high end brothel operations there."

"Are you saying that this is connected to the sex slave market?" Shiloh can already see the commander's fist shaking in anger.

"That's where my investigation has led me Sir. I have reason to believe that the children are being subjected to underage sex in the brothels while some are being sold as sex slaves to wealthy bidders." There was poison in Shiloh's words as she tried to keep herself composed.

She always had a soft spot for children and that's also the reason why she wanted to remain in the Swamps. Even though she is just a lowly police captain, she wanted to make a difference. Maybe, if she busts enough drug cartels, if she catches a bunch of sex predators, if she saves enough lives, the people from the Core might look down and give pity to the poor people of the swamps. 

"How can there be people like them in Gaea, Captain? I used to think that this life that we have was perfect but I was so wrong. Pan is fraud. We live in luxury there while the people here are dying or worse getting killed or being sold." Him and Shiloh share the same principle when it comes to service.

The only difference they had was, Commander Lee was able to witness injustice first hand as he came from a very wealthy family at Pan. Going lower to the Blocks opened his eyes to the immense difference of living situations and he was more appalled when he asked to be relocated to the Swamps. Many of his colleagues avoid being relocated at this region but he chose to stay, he has always believed that he would be able to do more good for Gaea here rather than living in luxury with his family.

"I have been asking the same questions, Commander." Shiloh is not new to this view as well, she has been invited a couple of times to attend conferences at Pan and there is no mistaking the animosity that Gaea presents its people.

"I beg of you Captain. Find these children and bring them home."

"You can count on it, Commander. If I may, I would like to take my leave." A promise, before she gave a salute.

"Dismissed."

The young captain silently walked to her cube, report on hand, busy reviewing a past case connected to the series of kidnappings. 

"I think I dropped by at a bad time. You look busy." A warm, deep voice reached Shiloh's ears before she noticed the set of feet in front of her.

As usual, his bright smile greeted her when she looked up. That ace who sweeps the hearts of women officers. Well, not her, ofcourse.

"What are you doing here? Are you not busy?" She retorted.

"Well, that's what I'm here for! Another case coupled with your division. You have the files, I assume?" Captain Hong Taewon was starting a banter again.

"I am always up to date with these cases of kidnapping Captain. I hope you have data, because if you're here to get mine, I've instructed Rice to lock them." Shiloh was happy to indulge in a banter with her fellow officer.

"Ah! Why are you so selfish?! We're friends!" Taewon ruffled Shiloh's hair.

"TSH! I don't have friends who are pigs!" She said as she swat his hand away.

"Whoa! That's low even for you Kang!" He pinched her right cheek and pulled.

"You're lowest of the low Hong!" She answered back with a pinch on his side.

"Ah! KANG! THAT HURTS!"

"LET GO OF MY CHEEK!"

No one really bothers with them anymore. It was a normal sight at the station given that these friends work together in Shiloh's cases. You really can't expect them to always be proper, though. Given their age, they are basically kids playing a deadly game being police officers. But no matter how chill both officers look, they are still the best at their game.

They were too absorbed in their own little banter that they missed the footsteps of the big, burly man who now has both of their ears in a pinch. 

"You, Captains! Is this how I find you after a morning of stress?!" The commander was fond of his young officers and he felt like a father to both of them.

"Ah! Ah! Goodmorning Commander! You look more handsome than usual." The young lad tried to woo his way out of the elder's piercing hands.

"You know that doesn't work on me Captain Hong." Commander Lee responded as he let go of their ears. "When will you two stop being childish? You have people watching you!."

"I'm sorry Sir. I'll be better if only Captain Hong will stop leeching off of my reports." Shiloh low key squealed.

"Yah!" Taewon was about to retort but the commander glared at them.

"I will be having a meeting in Pan. Hopefully we can petition for more officers and technology down here. I expect you two to behave." Both young captains gave a salute before the commander turned around to leave.

"Rice what's the status?" Taewon asked the assistant who was always willing to help.

"Same findings as the other missing children Captain. Were you able to get anything else on your end?" Rice inquired.

"We were fortunate we got some CCTV feeds. Unfortunately, they went in to a very remote location close to the fishing docks in the south." Taewon watched as Shiloh's features changed.

"Less cameras. Was it a wide area?"

"I've shared the feeds to your team so you should be able to access it in your book. We were able to close in on section 825."

"825?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I know what you're thinking. I have triple checked the estimations."

"Rice pack up. We need to go."

Shiloh was ready to bolt out of the station but Taewon pulled her back and shoved her into his office.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Hong?"

"Shiloh, you need to slow down."

"Why? I might be close to something here."

"I don't think what you're trying to find right now is connected to our case Captain."

"He was found at 825, Taewon! My father was found dead at 825! Maybe his killer's still there?!"

"You know you're compromising this case because of your anger, right?" She gave out a long deep breath as she realized her mistake. Taewon has always been the more level-headed between them and no matter how pesky he can get, she's thankful to have him.

"I'm sorry Taewon. I just.. I mean, it's been five years and the case hasn’t been solved." The only thing she doesn't like is that she was too vulnerable around the man. She can feel her tears welling and she hates crying. Hong engulfed her in a warm hug and ran his hand along her back.

"There, there little Shiloh. Everything's gonna be okay, I promise. We're not stopping until we find him but we also have these children to rescue." She slowly lifted her body away and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry Hong. I'm starting to feel like a burden to you."

"Never, Shiloh."

"Would you help me review the feeds we've gathered? It'll be a long day and maybe a long night, hope you're up for it?"

"You owe me chicken and beer for this Kang."

"Yeesh! Always the pig!"

"I can't give you my services for free!"

Both Captains left instructions for their robot assistants to continue searching for clues out in the Swamps. Shiloh directed Rice to conduct interviews around the scene of the crime while Taewon's assistant was sent to district 825 to do a sweep. Data was continually being sent to their books to assist with the CCTV sweep they were doing at the station.

Shiloh noticed Taewon rocking his head, it's already close to midnight and they still didn't have a target to initiate an area search. Taewon wasn't the type to work until the wee hours, he's a total morning person and Shiloh appreciated his effort in trying to stay awake with her. She left the feed room silently and got coffee. It sure gets Taewon hyper and more childish but she really needs him to be awake. It's hard to look at the monitors without being biased of her search.

A light nudge woke up his senses as a silky voice reached his ears.

"Here…" Shiloh slowly took her seat while sipping in her own cup. "...you look horrible."

This was one of things Taewon liked about Shiloh. Always the sensitive one. He had to admit she was dedicated to a fault, putting her service way before her own self-preservation. He remembered the time when he was working under her, she was a newly promoted Captain then. Usually, the new dogs were frowned upon if they step up too fast. Not Shiloh, with her raw character and compassion, people can't resist liking her. She was a natural when it comes to leadership some even say she was made for it. However, no matter how happy and strong she seemed to be on the outside, it's not necessarily the same on the inside. And now that his brain got sparked again, Taewon can't avoid noticing the way Shiloh watched the monitors.

"What are you looking for?" He was always afraid to ask Shiloh such questions but over time, he learned that it was better for her to have someone to talk to rather than keep her thoughts to herself.

"A building. Something accessible but not too noticeable. Not too tall but can house a number of people." Came her immediate reply.

"Sounds rehearsed to me." This was another problem working with Captain Hong. He was just too perceptive.

"Ahhhh, I'm caught." She just smiled and played innocent, taking another sip from her mug.

"Do you remember where it was?" Shiloh pointed to one of the feeds.

"There, that alley."

"I can still remember that day, you know. We were supposed to go out with Bong Yeon and Jihan." There was mockery when Shiloh chuckled.

"It was supposed to be a happy day." Her voice shook as she fought the memory from clouding her judgement.

"We will find him Shiloh. I will not rest until I have him in my hands." It was hard for Taewon to go back to that day, he felt so powerless. What's worse was, no matter how strong he was, he can't do anything to make Shiloh feel better. There was nothing he can offer that will replace her father. Shiloh just nodded and they proceeded to look for more clues in the endless feeds.

Chapter Text

A creaking chair woke me up. It was Taewon, we pulled another all nighter. Several reports were sent in pertaining to a black unplated vehicle spotted in the north district. As I blearily looked up at the monitors, my senses were shocked to wakefulness when I saw a streak of black on one of the screens.

"Hong! Rewind that feed!" my voice came out several pitches higher than I wanted it to as I nudged Taewon awake.
"Huh?" Ugh! This was one of the downsides of working with a morning person. The fool is still half asleep as he attempted to respond.
"Rewind that f*ckin feed!" I squeaked again. I'm basically on tip toes right now, trying to touch the screen I'm pointing at. I almost spilled my coffee as I slapped his nape to jolt him awake.
"What? Which one?" He blabbered stupidly. It looked funny but we had no time for jokes right now.
"Feed six you slowpoke!" It was no use, I pushed his chair and took control.We watched as the vehicle turned a corner. It was a feed from one of the convenience stores in the area.
"We found it, Taewon! Do we have enough people today?" We needed to move as soon as possible if we want to close in on these child traffickers.
"For God's sake Kang it's Sunday! Not everyone is a saint like you!" Oh right, I forgot. We have less people coming in on weekends and the agents might not like me pulling them out hastily.
"Okay, okay. Tomorrow?" This was the next best option.
"I'll send out the report today, if we're lucky we can move in the evening. If not, I'm afraid it'll have to wait until maybe Thursday. Friday the latest."

WHAT?! I can't believe what I'm hearing from Taewon.

"But that's too much delay!"
"There's a reason why we have something called PROCESS, Captain." I was reminded but doesn't he know I don't give a shit's ass about that?
"To hell with process, these children need to get home!"
"And they will get home, we would need to plan this out if we want to rescue them." A long, deep sigh escaped my lips as I admitted that Taewon was right. We can't really risk lives in this operation, I can't let any of those children die.
"Go home Shiloh. I'll take this from here. You've been on overtime almost every day, I'm sure your mom misses her dear sweet daughter."
"Sweet daughter my ass!" and I just had to give him the finger.
"I'll see you tomorrow Taewon, thanks for today." with a tight hug and a peck on the cheek, I took my jacket and went out. Wait, was that a blush I caught forming on his cheeks? I'll have a good laugh if that was true but Taewon liking me that way? I doubt it!

"Done with scouring the feeds Captain?" When will my robot assistant learn that her jokes are terrible?
"Stop it with the word plays Rice. You suck big time!" I just had to laugh at her. I just can't figure out why Rice tries so hard to act as human-like as possible. I mean, it was not written in their code to do that, right?
"It won’t hurt to try. Besides, I don't have feelings of pride or shame so, you really can't stop me." Dear Lord, she's getting better at rebuttals! I'm sure she got this by observing Hong. I would really need to find a way to distance my assistant from that crack.
"I am not sure if you're just stating facts or you're trying to play with me. I can always make you shut up, you know." Whoa! And she even raised her robotic brows and lifted her hands to cover her mouth in shock,. I can't believe this! This is too much!.
"Oh my God Rice! Stop it!"
"I just like seeing you smile and hearing you laugh Captain. You've been too busy all week. Shall we go home?" Rice finally suggested and I can only agree. My body has been aching the whole week and it has been screaming BED for the last 24 hours.
"Yes Rice. I need sleep. Override the car for me please. I really need to crash."I literally sprawled myself on the backseat as Rice attempted to recreate a chuckle.
"Aye, Aye Captain!"
"Stop it!" I just had to laugh at that. It's absurd, yes but at least I have an assistant that makes things lighter for me.

"My little flower…"
"Darling wake up. Appa's here…"
"Little one…"
I opened my eyes finding myself as a kid. It was back when my room was still pastel yellow with little daisies painted on the wall. My study table beside my bed and father was sitting on my tiny stool.
"Appa you're goin to break my chair again." I complained. He had to repair the poor chair a couple of times that I'm afraid it will finally give way.
"Ahhh, should I sit on your bed then?" Father smiled at me, his eyes forming crescent moons with wrinkles on his temples.
"Look at what Appa brought for you." he brought out a package.

Like the usual ones he brings home, it was covered in brown recycled paper and sealed by tying a paper rope. There's actually no more need to guess what this one was, I hope he picked a great story. 

"Is it a good title Appa?" I asked as I hugged the unopened package, somehow I felt connected to the book even before I've read it.
"It is little one." father was beaming, his eyes sparkling as he watched me. I have always loved reading and father never failed to buy me books when he goes home. 
"What is it about?" I can feel my chest swelling with excitement. Books always awakened my sense of wonder. They allowed me to look into the past and travel to the future.
"It's about Gaea, Darling. How it came to be and how it is now." For some reason, father's demeanor suddenly changed. He was no longer smiling, his face was now covered in fear and, wait, was that a hint of anger?
"Appa?" I extended my little hands to touch him but all I grasped was thin cold air. My heart started thumping as I realized that my father wasn't really with me.
"I am so sorry I wasn't able to give you a better world little one. I was so close." A tear fell on his cheek and I felt hot tears roll on my own. I looked down at my hands to find that I have grown. I am not little Shiloh anymore. I am Captain Kang and yet, I failed to find my father's killer.
"Appa, tell me who did this to you, please. I need to know." I tried to reach out to him again but my hands were met with a cold presence and no matter how hard I tried, father did not materialize with my touch.
"Promise me Shiloh. You will try to find the truth. Never give up little one. I know you can do it." My father's eyes said it all, he didn't need to say anything more. I had to grasp my chest as my breath came shorter, my chest constricting in pain as I tried to stifle my tears.
"What do you want me to do Appa?" No matter how many times I've been in this dream I still can't grasp what he's saying. What is it that he wants me to do?
"Find Gaea." Was all he said before he disappeared. Gone again.
"But I am in Gaea…."

 

 

"Shiloh, darling, wake up!" I woke up with a start, grabbing my mother's arm as I was trying to fight off a foe that no one else can see.
"What's wrong dear?" I can see my terrified features reflected in my mother's eyes.
"I…" I had to stop myself mid-sentence.

Am I ready to tell my mother about my dreams? Do I have the heart to burden her with worry that I might actually be going crazy? Seeing Appa in my dreams almost every night? To finally admit to her that the reason why I didn't want to leave the Blocks was because I wanted to find the culprit behind all our suffering, MY suffering?! What will she say if I tell her that my dreams might be asking me to take action?

"What's happening Shiloh?" My mom wasn't able to hide her concern.
"This is not the first time I've heard you calling for Appa in your sleep." I had to look at her to confirm that she's really there and that I am hearing her right. She knows, mother knows that I have been having nightmares.
"He… he visits me Eomma." There was nothing more that I can do now. Apparently, Eomma has been observing me in my sleep.
"He… visits you?" I can see it in my mother's eyes. She's scared for me. 
"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. It's just that, it's painful and I don't want to burden you with it. I didn’t know that you'd find out this way." I remember when things were much easier, I never found a reason to hide anything from my parents. They knew everything about me, even to the minute details of my day. But ever since father died, I found it hard to trust anyone. To the point that, I have forgotten how it was to talk to my mother.
"Have you been keeping it all this time?" Her voice was already quivering. Was it a bad decision to tell her?
"I didn’t think it was something serious. I always just brushed it off. But recently, the dreams have been more frequent and sometimes... it gets violent."

It was the first time I'm admitting having these dreams to any one. I don't think Rice counts. She knows about my dreams because she monitors my body stats. It was getting colder the more I close in. The next thing I felt though, was my mother's warm body covering mine.

"Oh darling, I am so sorry. I should have been here for you." A wetness trickled down the side of my neck. 
"It's okay Eomma. It's not your fault. I'm okay." I tried to placate her worries as she looked me up and down as if something terribly wrong had just happened. 
"You sure grew up to be a strong young lady. I'm sure Appa's very proud of you." A smile formed on her lips as she brushed my cheek. A fake smile.
"I just wish he was still here to see all of it." He didn't even see me graduate. I wasn't able to offer him my diploma. 
"We both know we can't bring him back Shiloh. As much as it hurts to lose him, we must move on."

There, she said it again. 'Move on'. But how?

"I wish I can just will all the pain away, Eomma. I really wish I could just forget about it and move on. But the longer it takes to get justice, the more worthless I feel."
"Shiloh, darling, don't you ever put blame on yourself for what happened. It's not your fault." Then whose fault is it?
"But I can't even find his killer. I don’t know even how to step away from my anger."
"Oh little one, I wish you can just tell me everything. Eomma's here." I wish for the same to happen but I fear that you won't be strong enough to take it Eomma.
"I don't even know where to start." Was all I could say.I know that it's hard for my mother to watch me breaking down in front of her.

I have always been successful in seeming strong and steadfast, always the first person to feel better about any situation. But everything became different after that day. My hero, the person I looked up to is gone, killed in the dead of night. Five years later, they still haven't found who killed him and my life has never been the same.

I was sure that I would attract attention as I busted through the doors of the station. I didn't really care about the eyes that stared at me as I stomped to my destination.

"We're in trouble." I heard an officer whisper.
"She's definitely in a bad mood." Yeah, they've known me as the soft spoken one. I rarely raise my voice unless ofcourse, when I'm on the field catching crooks. Make no mistake though, I'm not sissy. In fact, my team doesn’t talk to me when I'm angry. They won't even come close to me.
I once heard them gossiping about a time I lost my temper, they said they didn't know where to hide.

"I can hear you, do you know that?" I almost chuckle as both officers almost jumped in their seats when I poked my head over their stations before storming into Taewon's office.

As expected, Taewon sank on his knees as went through the door. Always the person to exaggerate.

"Captain. Hong. Taewon." I feel like a giant hovering over him when he's kneeling like that.
"Don't kill me please. It's not my fault." He looks so funny begging.
"Do you know what day it is?" Just to add drama, I crossed my arms across my chest.
"I know, I know." Taewon is surely trying hard right now. He knows I don't take delays as lightly as he does.
"It's Friday, Hong and we don't have a plan of action nor a team yet. How can we expect to rescue these children if we are this slow?" I just gave him a sigh, there's really nothing else we can do right? This was not the first time my operation got delayed because of resources and procedures. It's just frustrating that we are on a time-sensitive case but the other departments are not giving a care about it.
"I'll follow it up right away. Hopefully we can start moving by next week." Taewon rushed to get up knowing I'm not upset anymore. I really can't blame him all day, right?
"Just have it anyway they want. I already moved on my own while we were waiting." Good thing I have some connections at Pan. I'm sure Taewon would lose his mind over who I asked for help.
"You did?" Why is he even surprised?
"Remember Captain Chah over at Pan? We met him at an awards ceremony a few months ago." His eyes immediately turned into slits at the mention on Mingjun's name. I don't know why he hates the guy so much.
"Yeah, I do remember that big air-head." They have never been in good terms even when Mingjun helps us in a case. Taewon's always been so hostile towards him and I can't understand why.
"Yah. Play nice. He helped me get info."
"I hope it's vital." I can't believe this, did he actually roll his eyes?!
"Oh yes it is!" I dropped my book on his desk so I can cloud connect.
"I've linked this to your book as well, don't worry." Thank God for technology!. I clicked the button for projection and pictures coupled with a few reports hovered in the air.
"Care to explain? Or do you want me to read." I just wanna poke his eyes out this time, it's no longer cute when he rolled his eyes at me again.
"That is Chang In Goh. One of the wealthiest casino owners at Pan. He's been involved in some battery cases in the past and recently, Mingjun's team started monitoring strange activities within their compound of casinos. An increase of women have been noticed and they received reports of possible human trafficking and sex trades." 
"I can see a report here of a woman who complained about physical abuse and claimed that she was being sold to…" He stopped mid-sentence. I'm sure he's trying to digest the list of high profile people involved.
"Is it too scary for you Hong?" 
"This is no time for joking Kang. I think it was better that we got delayed. We need a better team if our case is connected with this." His eyes were moving fast which meant he was reading through the report. I can see his lips twitch which means he's concerned about something. He doesn't let it show but I can clearly see that he's worried.
"I have a hunch that it’s connected. Imagine the ruckus this will create once the reports come out. These people… how can they stomach smiling in front of the people while they do monstrous things?!" The feeling of disgust and anger are mixing beneath my skin. It makes my blood boil and my stomach churn. Is this what my dreams are telling me about? How Gaea is all an illusion?
"Kang, we should be careful. This is not just some small business. And these names, I'm afraid that…" Is he afraid?
"That what? That we will end up dead like my father?" This took Taewon by surprise. Yes, he was thinking about our safety fulfilling this mission but he hasn't connected it the way I did.
"What do you mean Shiloh? Is there something you're not telling me?" Took him time to notice. He took a step towards me.
"What?! Do I need to tell you everything?!" Even I had to step back at the harshness of my words. Where is this hostility coming from?

I simply watched as Shiloh slumped on a chair, totally helpless. Despite all the times she cried before, this was the first time I saw her break down like this. It felt like watching a scene and I felt so detached that it was too late when I realized she was having a hard time breathing. Her sniffing brought me back from my daze.

It was a natural instinct for me to console or shield Shiloh from things that might hurt her. It's second only to breathing. I can feel her closing in again and I can't let her do that. I need to know what's going on. However, as she lifted her head, I almost wished I did not dare look at her. Her eyes were already red, face and body contorted in pain and like clockwork, my arms engulfed her.

"Hey, hey… I'm here Shiloh." I know it’s futile to fight demons that I can not even see but I have to try. I promised myself I won't let her feel alone. 
"Taewon-ah…" The voice I heard was alien to my ears, she sounded so weak. I can feel her pain and it washed over me like a tidal wave. Her emotions were so strong that it was so hard for me to stop myself from crying. 
"Shhh, hey, it's gonna be okay." She weakly shook her head on my shoulder. Her breathing became erratic, too shallow and I'm afraid she might faint any moment.
"Shiloh, let it go, please. No one else is here. You can cry. It's okay. It's okay."

Just like a switch, Shiloh's cries echoed through my office. This was the only time I heard her cry like this. Even during her father's wake and burial, Shiloh remained unyielding to such weakness. How long has she been keeping all this pain? I wanted to know what was wrong but I fear I might break her with my intrusion.

I gave her a light nudge using my shoulder so I can lift her up and get a good look at her. But she held me closer and her grip was too strong for me to get some distance between us.

"Hey, Shiloh, look at me." I can feel my heart pounding against my chest. My hands are now clammy and shaking. Somehow it feels like we were back to that day when Shiloh was summoned to go down to the Swamps. And now, I am the same helpless boy who was unable to protect the person who is most important to me.
"C'mon please."
"Taewon-ah…" she called me again as she slowly sat upright, her eyes now overflowing with tears.
"What's happening? I'm getting worried. What's goin' through that head of yours?" she shook her head slowly. It's always been hard to get Shiloh to talk when she's going through a tough time. She always thought that it was not okay to burden others with her problems. Sometimes I wanna curse at her for being this way.
"Shiloh, you need to talk to me. This can't go on." Another shake of her head told me that I won't get anywhere by being patient with her. Good thing, we've been together for years now and I know a sure fire way to get her attention.
"Do not force me to have you removed from this case, Captain." I can feel her frustration brewing. Threaten her cases and you endanger making her upset and I swear, no one likes to get Shiloh upset. 
"You would need to kill me before you can succeed in that Hong." I can't see her but somehow I knew that she had a devilish smile on her lips. Probably thinking of ways to kill me in case I stay true to what I just said.
"I am so tired Tae-ah." She finally let go as she dumped all her weight on my shoulder. 
"Who wouldn't be tired with what you're doing? I'm surprised you're still alive at this point." Here I am again, getting too scared to confront her. No matter how long we've been friends, it's still hard for me to force her to tell me the truth. I'm afraid that I won't be able of any help to her.
"I haven't been sleeping much." That's definitely not something new. She was always the workaholic between the two of us. 
"Who has enough sleep these days?"
"I didn't mean that. Ugh! It's getting harder to talk to you, you know?" Seeing her back to her sarcastic, pain in the ass self makes me feel like the worse has passed. 
"Make it simpler then, I have time. WE have time." That came across well.

She certainly understood that I won't allow her to leave without telling me what's happening.Another deep breath escaped from her lips as she separated herself from me, wiping her tears along the way.

"I've been having.. I don't exactly know how to describe them… dreams? Nightmares? Visions?"

At the word 'visions', the gears in my head started whirring. I think I've read it somewhere. The existence of certain individuals who, as the story goes, are able to look into both the past and the future.

"What? When did this start?"
"Since Appa died. I kept seeing him in my sleep and it seems so real Taewon. Like he's just right there, still breathing." Shiloh's voice started quivering again as she recalled some of the dreams she had.
"I think I'm going crazy."
"I think it's only natural for you to see him in your dreams, I know you miss him." My lips were like moving in their own accord, giving her the most rational reason for her dreams but my mind is not believing it. I just need to remember where I've read it.
"It would've been okay if it was just any normal dream but sometimes the things I see jolts me awake. And I know this may sound like I'm goin' psycho but he was telling me about something he found and most of the time, he's asking me to continue looking for whatever it is."

It was like my mind went on overdrive and it flashed back. It was just last week when I read it in one of the reports coming from the Core.

"Is that why you've been on edge?" The look she gave me told me that she's thinking I'm the one going crazy. I am not even sure myself why but I believe every single word she said. Still, she slowly nodded.
"I don't know if I'm more crazy, but I think understand and I'm not sure if you'll believe it but I think you're one of them."

There was always this itching in me to ask her but I never got the courage and now I can't help but think that Shiloh wasn't a normal human being. It was not a secret that she has been receiving offers and invites to work at the Tower and that means she's an exceptional being. They don't invite just anyone there and Shiloh's been receiving tons of letters. Some of them were even routed at the station.

"Them? Who's them?" her face was scrunched in thought. 
"You've been receiving letters from the Tower, right?" she nodded.
"They don't send letters to just anyone Kang. What if you're one of those special people?"
"Special people?" This was sounding more insane by the minute, I know.
"Taewon, you're scaring me. Have you lost a screw or something?"
"You were the one bawling earlier and now you call me crazy?" That earned me a punch. Trust Shiloh to be the violent one.
"Don't you dare use that to pester me outside or you'll drop dead where you are Hong, I swear." I raised both hands up in defense but it's hard to stop myself from laughing. She turned red in embarrassment.
"Hey, I'm just trying to prove a point here. So listen to me okay?"
"Go on then."
"Didn't you get curious about them?"
"No, the Tower never appealed to me. Never had and never will. I mean, I've read about it in books we had at school but that's all." She was clean honest about it.

The Tower was the main target for any police officer, even me for that matter. It was told that only the elite can get up there. However, knowing Shiloh, she never viewed herself as someone special, and she also doesn’t want to be caged. The field is where the action is, as she always says.

I can't fathom why Shiloh couldn't care less about the people who obviously wanted her so bad.

"It's really hard to understand how your mind works. But anyway, I did the research for you." She just waved her hand to tell me to carry on.
"There are very few people in there, you see. Even fewer than the ones at the Core. It houses Gaea's brain which they call Kathreftis. Aside from that, it's also the headquarters for Gaea's elite team of operatives, Project Light."
"Okay, what's so special about it?" Why do I feel like I'm wasting my effort here?
"Word has it that only people with special abilities are recruited into Project light. They are trained in-house to enhance their abilities and they are used for top secret operations for Gaea." Nevertheless, I continued on.
"Special abilities, huh?" I can't believe this. She's still unimpressed.
"What's more interesting is that a recent news circulated that they have just acquired an operative who can see the future." That piece of information certainly caught her attention. Maybe because it presents a possibility that she's not going crazy.
"A person who can see the future? Where are you getting all this information Hong?" I was sure she would ask that.
"I've been looking into them even while we were at the academy. At first, I was just curious to know what was there for you to be invited. Then as the letters became more frequent, I wanted to know why they were very persistent in getting you to the Tower." And I had to admit, I was jealous at first. Kang and I have always been at par with each other when it came to our performance. But as the years went by, and the letters also increased in number, I realized that she is someone special.
"Well, they're not persistent enough. To be honest, the only one I read out of all those letters was the first one." Shiloh shrugged. She really seems unfazed of the grandeur the towers offers.
"I'll look at one of them when I get home. My mom has been asking me to reconsider their offer."I had a different idea in mind though. Good thing, I kept a number of those invitations.
"No need to wait until you get home. We have a few of those that came in." Opening my top drawer revealed envelopes with the Tower's sigil.
"What? Even here?" Shiloh's not sure whether she'd be impressed or irritated by these envelopes. Nevertheless, we opened one and just like the first, it was an invitation to work as an elite operative for Project Light.

Shiloh was completely unaware that I was looking over her shoulder as she was reading the biostat report included in the invitation. It was supposed to explain why she was being considered for the position. The graphs showed both her upper and lower limits for basic combat requirements and she basically aced all of it. Her stats shows elevated numbers on all aspects. Is it possible for a human to have these capabilities?

"Whoa! Kang! Are those stats really yours?" She almost hit my face in surprise. It's good that I'm attuned to her so well that I was able to duck.
"Yah! Why are you shouting in my ear?"
"They really have data on people, huh." I continued marvelling at both the complexity and the intrusiveness of the report. It was clear that they were monitoring her closer than he wanted.
"You really are one marvelous person, aren't you? But what do they mean by this?"

Our attention was directed a classification indicated at the bottom of the report.

"Phantom?"Shiloh just blinked back at me and shrugged. She really couldn't care less what it was for. Even after everything I said and all that's presented in the invitation, she still did not see the point of her being at the city's center.
"Are you really not amazed by this Shiloh?" to be honest, it was both frustrating and scary. Frustrating because she still can't see that she was made to be at the Tower. Scary because of the fact that there maybe more eyes following her around.
"No Taewon, not one bit. If you want, you can go as my proxy." Is she really not even considering it? How can she still be joking after seeing her biostats.
"I doubt I even have the same qualifications as you." Now, I am sure that I would never be considered. I check my biostat report every morning and mine doesn't look anywhere near Shiloh's numbers.
"I don't wanna think about that anymore. Let's just continue with the case, can we? Send a follow up report and ask for a specialized division this time. We need experts for this case. I'll keep in contact with you and Chah. Hopefully, I can get a more concrete report over the weekend." Shiloh said as she started walking out.
Wait, she's leaving? Just like that. But we haven't talked about what was really bothering her.
"Shiloh, wait." I grabbed her arm in an attempt to stop her.
"Yeah? Anything else you need Hong?" For some reason, reading Shiloh's report and knowing about her dreams made me feel like something bad will happen. 
"About your dreams." Shiloh turned around, her brows furrowed in concern.
"What about them?" Ah, she's on a defensive stance again. 
"I think… those are trying to tell you something. I'm not sure what but please tell me if something different happens." I know it sounds stupid but that's all I was able to come up at the moment.
"And why?" 
"I want to help you find the answers Shiloh. I've been watching you and I know it's not getting any better." 
"I'll tell you if something happens. For the mean time, concentrate on our case. We have children to rescue."

I watched her as she went out of my office. When will I finally be able to tell her when she's so fragile? I just don't want to lose her and I am hoping to God my hunch is wrong this time.

Chapter Text

"Shiloh!" her name echoed across the room. She looked around only to find pristine white walls. She was clothed in a hospital gown, her hair was laid down, crawling on her back.

"Shiloh!" but no one was there. All she can see was an endless ocean of white.

"Shiloh!" trying to find the voice, she took steps towards the direction she thought it was coming from. After a few moments it seemed like she was not making any progress. She stopped, it was like she has walked miles. Her knees were shaking and her feet, sore.

"Shiloh…" a whisper directly in her ear, she froze. Cold suddenly engulfed her and her whole body shivered.

"SHILOH!" a scream pierced her ear, threatening to bust her ear drums.

As she turned to the side, a hand grabbed her neck and choked her. By instinct, she tried to grab the gigantic hand that gripped her throat but to her horror, her hands were simply passing through a mirage. She wanted to fight back, but it seemed like all her strength abandoned her as she registered the blank face staring at her. A face with no features - no eyes, no nose, no mouth and yet she knew that it was staring at her. She wanted to scream for help but her voice completely left her and as each second passed, her consciousness was also fading faster.

"Find them Shiloh! Find them!" the voice said as she was lifted higher before she was pushed to the ground.

Another dream jolted her awake. Her body covered in cold sweat. Who is it that she needs to find? And just what will she find if she follows the visions in her dreams?

Chapter Text

Shiloh has never taken her eyes off the projection since the start of the joint planning session. Over the course of the past month, a concrete report has already been generated about the rings of sex slavery in Gaea.

A footage was shown where a shipment of children arrived at a back alley of a casino in Pan. The children obviously looked stoned as they groggily followed the steps of the man in front. A few of them needed to be carried out of the vehicle because they were too drowsy to even stand.

Shiloh kept silent as she took in all of the information being presented. I can feel her blood boiling from where I'm seated directly in front of her. Her hands closed into fists as faces of perpetrators and patrons of sex slavery were flashed on the screen. I can see her nails digging deeper into her palms as she saw names and pictures of fellow police officers in the list.

"We received intel that another shipment will arrive at Pan a week from now. We will finalize our plan of action today, so please expect them in your books early tomorrow morning. We will move the night before the expected transaction. Coordinate with your team captains for further instructions." Commander Lee ended. "Captain Hong, Captain Kang, meet me tomorrow for additional instructions for our men at 825."

"Yes Commander." We answered in chorus, in salute.

"Captain Kang." Mingjun called out but Shiloh paid no mind. I can basically read what's going through her head right now. "Captain Kang." He called again as he tried to catch up to her.
"Don't try to grab her Chah, only if you don't want a black eye." Why did I warn him? It would have been a good laugh if Shiloh ended up punching him.
"Captain Hong, been a long time." Mingjun always the goodie two shoes. Prim and proper. I guess that's how they bring up children at Pan.
"Yep. Shiloh's been on the edge lately and she gets easily startled sometimes. Maybe you can just call her or send her a message. See if she'll talk to you?" The man can't get a clue. He's still debating whether to follow Shiloh or not.
"Is that the case? I guess I'll just call. I'll see you guys in about a week then." Oh good, he decided to back down.
"Noted."

I watched him turn at the corner before I jogged after Shiloh. You can never be sure with the persistence he has, he might decide to try and talk to her.

Just to make the mood light, I decided to jump her. She basically thrashed as I started attacking her ticklish nape.

"Yah! Quit being a kid will you?" Oh, I guess she's really not in the mood to play.
"You're grumpier than usual."
"I just can't believe what's happening Hong! These children are being used by the very people who should be protecting them. Can't they all just drop dead wherever they are right now? They should never be allowed to walk the Earth ever again!" I basically had to cover her mouth with both hands to stop her from ranting.
"Ssssh! Kang, tone down a little. There are ears around us."
"I'm sorry." She's cute when she admits being wrong but I can't tell her that can I? Why am I even thinking about that? We just came from a planning session for God's sake. I should really get a hold of myself. "Can you just take me home, Taewon, please? I don't think I can take any more for today."
"Aye! Aye! Captain!" All I can do was agree, she really looked beat up. The case has gone on longer than we both expected.

I put the car on auto so I was basically watching Shiloh the whole ride. She usually falls asleep if she's really tired but right now, she was full awake. If silence can kill, I would've dropped dead by now. I wanted to ask her but I'm not really sure she's ready to open up. Since the day she broke down, Shiloh always avoided the subject. My gut has been bugging me though. Knowing her, I know her head is brewing up a plan that may get her in big trouble.

"Hey Kang."
"Yeah?"
"Something bothering you?"
"The usual Taewon.
"The usual?"
"Just ask what you really want to ask."
Okay, I think it’s safe to ask, right? I think she knows what I want to ask anyway. "About your dreams..."

She closed her eyes. Her chest rose and dropped as she took a long deep breath.
"It happened again last night Taewon. I think I'm really goin' crazy." There's hesitation in her voice, I really shouldn't have asked.
"It's okay if you don't wanna tell me. I know it's hard." I instinctively reached out to touch her hand when she suddenly took mine and entwined it in hers. I did not see this coming. I know her feelings for me are platonic but having her hand in mine still makes my heart gallop like a racing horse. I should really calm down or else, she may think something's wrong with me.
"Taewon-ah, I think I had a dream about how Appa died."

I would never be prepared for that. How her father died? Every day, Shiloh never fails to amaze me. Her dreams or visions, have been plaguing her for years and yet, she still pushes through every single day.

"Have you considered goin to a hospital?" WHAT?! What the hell did I just say? Hospital? I'm sure that sounded stupid and insensitive because it sounded just like that to me.
"I'm scared of going Hong." Wait. That's something new. Shiloh? Scared of the hospital?
"Why? I've never known you as a scaredy cat."
"I've read one of the letters that were sent at home."
"And?" Why do I already feel like she's in trouble?
"And it had more data about me. They're monitoring me like a lab rat." I knew that they were keeping tabs on Shiloh. It was obvious that they get her data on a regular basis but monitoring? That sure is sketchy.
"Shiloh, are you positive about this?"
"For God's sake Taewon, they even included my daily routine analysis!"
"Do you think Rice…" I can't help but be suspicious of her robot assistant. They are basically controlled by the main servers and can be remotely accessed when needed. They do that once a year for routine machine analysis and repairs. It's not a long shot for them to command a robot to covertly transmit data whenever they want to. God knows they may even have a feed of her sleeping!
"Rice has nothing to do with this, Taewon. She's a robot assistant. Yes, she may sound, move and act like a human, she's still a machine. At our level, there are certain clearances to access data, but I am certain that a person who has access to the main servers can open her up anytime. It's quite obvious by now, isn't it? People at the Tower can prod into anyone's data whenever they want to, with or without a robot assistant." Exactly what I was thinking.

Rice is actually a very complicated machine. She came from the Tower as a gift for Shiloh when we were deployed, one of the most advanced robot assistants in Gaea. And though I know that Rice is loyal to Shiloh, she is basically a combination of chips and wires that can be controlled by the government. Maybe she wasn't even made to assist in police work. For all we know, she may have been planted to monitor Shiloh's movements.

After all these weeks of worrying over her, it just hit me. If worse comes to worst, I won't be able to protect Shiloh. Specially, if Rice is included in this elaborate plan. A human will have a hard time fighting a robot and we don't know how many they’ve planted to look after her. I am basically useless in this situation.

"I honestly don't know what to do with that Kang. Have you considered going to the Tower?" As we tried searching for answers, the more I realize that we can't stop what will happen. It’s inevitable, Shiloh will eventually come to the Tower and become a member of Project Light. I can already see it happening.
"I have.. But just because I want to know what the hell is happening to me and to tell them to fuck off." I saw her roll her eyes at me while I laugh. Trust Shiloh to be the aggressive type. Always with sass.
"I'm as curious as you are, but we're in a very sensitive case right now. I think it's best if you hold your plans off until we close this." I can see the fire in her eyes. I know and feel that she wants to uncover the truths and lies in her life. To finally close a chapter that should have ended years ago.
"You really know me huh?"
"I am not called best friend for nothing."
"Thank you Taewon. I don't know what I'll do without you." She yawned after saying this, feeling sleepy as the stress of the day takes toll on her. It was like all she needed was someone to talk to. To unload all her thoughts, the things that bother her. And somehow, I felt relieved that she can still find sleep no matter how short it is.

I honestly don't know what to feel anymore. She hasn't let go of my hand as she fell asleep and I'm afraid she would wake if I move a muscle. I'm relieved that she trusts me with her darkest thoughts but it also scares me. Something is out there looking out for Shiloh and one day, they will come for her. I can already feel the ache in my heart as I imagine the day I lose her. I don't know if I can bear it. The thought of Shiloh being away. My life is now built around her and she doesn’t even know. I'm afraid to lose the relationship we have now but I am more scared of the future.

Chapter Text

Commander Lee , Mingjun and I restrained Shiloh as she thrashed just to get closer to the man presented in front. Anything we said were falling on deaf ears as her anger blew off at the sight of a traitor.

"Captain Kang will take lead on ground. Captain Chah will lead the support team. Captain Hong's team will sweep the area." The old man rounded it up for us one last time. "Make sure we have no casualties. I don't want to lose any of my best men and I want to have those kids home before dinner."

Salute. Protocols. Sometimes I don't know the use of these when we can all just discuss, we all know our positions anyway but yeah, protocols are protocols.
"Captain Kang, be careful out there okay? I trust you two gentlemen to take care of our little gem here." For some reason, I can feel that the Commander was feeling nervous. Is it because of the sensitivity of the operation or is he also feeling something off?
"Always, Commander." Shiloh responded. Her excitement is viral. She's basically ready to bounce out and pounce on culprits right now.
"I'll make sure nothing happens to Kang, Commander." I reassured both of them. Mingjun just gave a nod.
"Come on team, to your positions." Shiloh commanded as the old man watched our backs. This is not our first mission, we've done this a hundred times. But today, my heart is pounding in my chest and I'm having cold sweat. I took a deep breath and instructed my team to assume their posts.

Shiloh's unit is inside a van, waiting for our go signal. Mine has been deployed on ground and on strategic overhead locations to eradicate anything that may block the team on site. Stationed in one of the hotels surrounding the area, I allowed my best sniper to do his job.

"Captain, we got company." I heard one of my on-ground operatives over our team comms.
"Status?"/
"Captain we've been compromised!" And suddenly there was chaos. I checked the area and all my operatives had one to two assailants and I can already hear foot steps outside the door of our hotel room. Did we just walk into a trap? How can this happen? Unfortunately, my agents are on their own. We didn't have the liberty to have backup in this operation.
"Team take cover. Fall back!" As I announced this, I heard Shiloh give out orders to her team over the main comms.

"KANG! STOP!" I didn't think about my next move, my head got filled with Shiloh. All I wanted to do was to make sure she was safe. Nothing else mattered.

To make it easier for them to understand our situation, I shared our line with the main comms. I know the commander will see what was going on.
"HONG! What's happening?!" Shiloh maybe playing a million scenarios in her head right now. None of them good, I'm sure. I bite my tongue. I know if I respond she will go against my order. Worse, she may order her team to provide backup.
"HONG?!" She checked again.
"Captain Hong, what's your status?" was the next voice we heard. It was the commander and I'm praying to whoever is out there to take care of my men.
"It's an ambush. Back out team, back out!" I ordered again. I didn't care if it seemed like I was losing my cool. The whole operation has been compromised.
"Wait for me Hong…"
"Kang, don't move. We have company." Mingjun successfully interjected Shiloh. He was just instructed to provide backup for my team. I hate it but he's our only chance. "Seems like they know we're here, Commander."
"How the fuck can this happen?!" I can feel her agitation. I'm sure she's itching to jump out and help. "We need to help Hong!"
"Captain Kang! Don't you dare move out of that van!" I know the orders were not for me but I found myself stopping a second.
"But Commander!" Shiloh doesn't really know when to back down. It's laughable only if we're not in a bind like this.
"No buts Captain Kang. Stand your ground." This is what differentiates the commander from us, whether he speaks gently or with authority, everybody just simply abides by it.
"We're on site Commander. We'll handle it from here." Mingjun quickly gave orders and one by one our attackers were apprehended.
"But…" We all heard the van door being forced open before Shiloh can finish her sentence.
"Captain! Duck!" It was Rice this time and I almost lost my mind when I realized what was about to happen.
"What the..?!" And that was the last we heard before screams and gunshots filled our ears.
"KANG! CAPTAIN KANG!" Everyone was obviously in shock. We all thought their team was safely hidden. Each gunshot was like a bullet digging into me. Rice may provide her protection but even a robot can't guarantee her safety in this situation. I was slapped into reality when I heard her scream of pain.
"SHILOH!" I forced my legs to run as fast as I can. I know that I wouldn't get there in time but I need to try. I can't lose her now, not this way.

Everyone fell silent and held their breath as we all waited for the gunshots to subside. I am still too far and I can already feel my legs burning.

"Rice, activate assault." A sea of relief washed over me as I heard Shiloh over our monitors followed by shots fired and close combat. The comms headquarters are surely watching everything unfold in front of their eyes. Shiloh is as deadly as my best sniper given a gun but she's more lethal given a knife. As for me, though I trust that she can handle herself, I still need to be sure that she's alive. I can't be more relieved that Shiloh still trusted her assistant despite all we found out the past weeks. If it wasn't for Rice, I would've lost her today.

I arrived just in time to see her finish a roundhouse kick that knocked her last assailant. She glanced at my direction only to squat above the man. She pulled him by the collar and shook him awake. Only when I closed the distance, did I notice the splashes of blood on her face and her armor.
.
"Wake up!" And she landed an open hand slap but the man did not budge. "WAKE UP!" It was something I have never heard before. Her screams were animalistic, guttural. I can feel that she was restraining herself from just breaking the man's neck. Another slap but it was clear that he won't be moving anytime soon. She was like a tigress looking for ways to torture her prey as she looked around. Her vision landing on a faucet in the alley where the van was parked.
"Rice pull him!"
"But Captain we need to…"
"I SAID PULL HIM!" Her robot assistant knew not to interfere anymore and followed her human's orders. Shiloh used her foot to keep him in place while she opened the faucet.

I know I should've stopped her but my feet just wouldn't move. I watched helplessly as she almost drowned her attacker. After what seemed like minutes, she stopped and the man was clearly hanging on to his life, panting and gurgling.

"You're only alive because I need something from you. You better have the answers or I might just change my mind." She hissed and it made all of my hair stand on ends. I don't know this person in front of me. Her stare was murderous and the air around her smelled of death. I know where this would end and yet, I couldn’t bring myself to change the culprit's fate. If I was being honest, I want him dead as well but not through Shiloh's hands.
"Who ordered the ambush?" Her voice was low and when the man didn't open his mouth, she smirked and cackled hysterically like she was gonna lose her screws. But when her head fell and she turned her head to look at me, she was insanely murderous that I could feel my muscles tense at her blank stare.
"I will ask you one last time. Who. Ordered. The ambush?" And when he stayed mute, Shiloh suddenly landed a punch. I heard a crack and that finally triggered my body to run. According to her stats, she has very dense bone mass and if she keeps on hitting him with full force, she will undoubtedly kill him.
"Who?!" She screamed again before landing another punch. "Fuck it! ANSWER ME!" And as I forced my feet to go faster, I realized that I was too late. Only God knows how many punches she threw before I was able to restrain her and even by then, it took all my strength to keep her from pouncing on him again.

I closed my eyes as I embraced her, caressing her sticky hair, her whole body shaking in anger against mine. She was already wheezing from exertion and all I can do was try to calm her down. I dared open my eyes but had to avert my gaze as I saw the culprit's face, his teeth were about to fall out, his jaw was clearly dislocated, his nose broken and most likely his cheek bone's cracked too. It's too late to take him to the hospital now. I thought the worse was over when Shiloh started pushing against my chest.

"Shiloh stop! Stop!" I finally found my voice causing her to wake from her rage. "Shhhh, it's over Shiloh. It's over now." She realized the situation as she saw the blood on her knuckles. Her eyes lost all hostility and I can see my fear mirrored on hers. She bolted towards the van as Rice was removing her team from the vehicle.

"No… No…" I heard her whisper as she tried to wake Kangjoon. Her beloved dongsaeng. His bright smile was now gone, eyes blank. "Kangjoon-ah… Joon-ah... Son Kangjoon! Yah! Wake up… wake up!" She pleaded as she continued patting his cheek, shaking him, trying to stop his wounds from bleeding. "Rice call an ambulance. Call our medics. They need help! Perform first aid!"
"They are on their way Captain. I've done everything I can." Rice declared. "Let me tend to you. You're badly injured." But Shiloh swat Rice's hand away.
"No Rice, no… no... Not me. Tend to them, they're the ones who need help. We can still save them. Come on. Help me, please. Taewon, tell her." I know she could only take so much. And this scene is all too familiar for both of us. I wanted to let her stay, let her mourn but the sheen of her blood on her armor gave me the strength to deny her.
"I'm sorry Shiloh. Rice tend to Captain Kang, she has wounds that needs attention. We can't afford another casualty." My heart bled to see her broken again. And just like before, I wasn't able to do something to change fate.

Shiloh tried to fight back, refusing to receive medical help. I turned my back after I nodded, giving Rice the signal to give her a tranquilizer. She was losing too much blood. I had no other choice.

Shiloh endured 4 gunshot wounds during the ambush, one on her left torso which missed any vital organs, two on her left leg and one on her left arm that pierced her bone. Unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg. I had to stay with her most days when she was in the hospital. She blamed everything on herself and her nightmares were getting more and more violent. There were even days when she refused to sleep, afraid of recalling the ordeal. I could not begin to imagine what she maybe going through. If it was me, I would've lost my mind.

She lost her team that day. I can still remember Rice's report after tending to Shiloh's wounds.

"Captain Hong. Status report." Rice came to me as she was tidying herself.
"Go ahead"
"7 deceased, 5 critical. Though with my readings earlier, there is a slim chance of them surviving."
I was lost for words. I didn't know how to respond to that. Hot tears were already welling and bile was rising in my throat. Were we too lax on our preparations? Did we underestimate them? What could've happened if Rice wasn't here? I can not even bear to remember how we failed to protect Shiloh.
"Captain Hong?" Every fiber in my body took to attention, too afraid that there might be more foreboding news coming.
"The ambulance is about to go. I think she'll feel better if you're at the hospital when she wakes."
"Thank you Rice. Tend to the critical ones okay. Make sure they get immediate medical help."
"Yes Captain." Rice walked away, following her protocols for the order I just provided her. Even though she just saved Shiloh, I still can't brush the feeling of uneasiness around the robot.

Everyone was dumbfounded as Shiloh leaped from where she was seated, eyes on her prey. She almost made it if not for Mingjun, who sat in front. Her mind is like a projection right now. No one was surprised that she took such measures against the man who sold us out. No one can blame her either. Shiloh suffered through the ordeal of facing her men's families, handing them the government assistance for fallen operatives, comforting them through their loss as she mourned on her own. No amount of money can replace the brave souls we lost and no amount of time can erase the sin that was committed against us.

"YOU SHOULD DIE RIGHT HERE!" Shiloh's screams filled the trial room, she didn't care if the judge holds her in contempt, she just wanted to get her hands on the man who betrayed us. "YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ALIVE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
"Take her out of the trial room. Captain Kang, you will now be held in contempt according to the rules of this court." The judge finally declared after countless failed attempts of pacifying her.
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" she continued screaming as security tried to escort her outside.
"Captain Kang, we are just following orders. It's best for you to come with us if you don't want further sanctions." one of the men stated.
"I don't care about sanctions! That traitor did not only kill my men, he destroyed lives of several families because of his greed! What will you take out of this huh? Are you proud to feed your family with blood money? Do your children even know that their father killed his own brothers for money?! YOU ARE A SHAME TO YOUR FAMILY!" Shiloh continued on her tirade even as the judge demanded for order.
"Kang you need to stop." I know she would be furious but I have to do this. "You can't do what you want here. No matter what he has done he still deserves a fair trial." She was still thrashing and I knew she will get free unless I take her attention. I don’t care if she hates me after so I grab her wrists and cuffed her.
"But Hong!" the look in her eyes were both of surprise, fear and anger.
"Enough! Don't make me force you on your knees, Captain!" I found no other choice, she clearly would not listen to reason.
"You will regret this Hong." she suddenly turned ice cold then stormed out of the trial room, leaving everyone in silence after witnessing her outburst.

I let a few minutes pass before I followed to the holding room. She didn't notice me arrive. Shiloh was still breathing heavily, her hands covering her face. Patches of blood on her knuckles. Only her sniffing gave her away.

"Shiloh…" Her blazing eyes found mine. I had to steady myself so as not to cower from her anger. "I'm so…" The next thing I felt was the hot sting of her palm against my cheek. I swallowed my tears back, refusing to let her see me weak.
Shiloh kept her gaze as I looked back at her. I'm sure my skin is crimson where her hand connected.
"You're alive because you're my friend, Taewon. Remember that." There was a clear threat in her voice. Her anger has consumed her to the point that I don't recognize her anymore.
"They are holding you in prison today because of what you did out there." I had to keep my cool in this situation. I don't want to trigger her again.
"Do you think I care?" her hand carded her hair as she turned to face the wall. "I can still see their faces. Their cold, lifeless bodies."
"It's not only you who lost people that day, Shiloh. I incurred losses too. But we need to let the law handle it from here. Else, we're just murderers like them." It's hard to admit the truth. God knows I also want to have the man dead but we uphold justice and justice needs to be served the right way. "I'm just thankful that you have Rice. I don't know what I'd be able to do if I lost you too."
"Now I see all of it Hong. Everything my dreams have been telling me all along." It was but a whisper but I heard it clear. I can't even begin to understand what she just said. Is Shiloh still considering the connection despite all that has happened?
"What do you mean?"
"This is not the true Gaea."

Chapter Text

"Captain…"

"Kangjoon?"

"Captain… Help us, please."

"Kangjoon-ah"

"Captain Kang, I'm lost."

"Hold onto me…"

"But I can't reach you…"

I lifted my arms only to see myself as a mirage, Son Kangjoon and my team surrounding me.

"I…"

"You're fading Captain…"

He simply implied as tears fell from his hollow eyes.

"I'm afraid, Kangjoon-ah."

"Let the voices guide you. Let us guide you."

They all whispered as they lifted their hands beckoning me to follow.

"But I don't know where to go."

"Let Gaea show you the way, Captain."

"Gaea?"

They all just nodded and smirked as a hand covered my mouth and my eyes, a soundless scream stuck in my throat as darkness swallowed me.

Chapter Text

It's been a week since I got suspended for my little outburst in court. The Commander thought it was best if I take a break. He said I should let my mind and heart rest.

"Child, be careful of your thoughts. They can destroy you." I remember him saying before I paid my leave.

My thoughts. If they only knew of the evil that lurks inside my head. Or does he know? I'm no longer sure as to who is who at this point. At times, I think, it's better to trust Rice who is controlled by her chips and her programming rather than putting my confidence in a human who can be swayed by money and greed. But am I really safe with Rice? Is she really an ally? Or will she also turn against me?

"Eommonie, how's Shiloh?" Taewon's here again. Always the worrier. Why does he have to make it all so obvious?
"I honestly don't know Taewon-ah. She looks and acts okay when I'm around but the opposite happens when I watch her sleeping. I wish she would just tell me what's wrong." Eomma's voice was shaking. I know she's still quite shaken and I don't want to scare her even more. Her only child was almost killed a few weeks ago. I don't think any mother would be able to forget that.
"She just needs time Eommonie. Shiloh's been through a lot these past few weeks but I'm sure she'll push through." Sometimes I think it will be better if Taewon was my mom's child. He's always so caring, ever so gentle. While I,… I don’t even know what I am.

Footsteps and knocks announced Taewon.

"It's open."
"Hey." I wonder what story he prepared for me today. He has taken the responsibility of being my semi-guardian ever since the incident. No matter how many times I told him, he's still adamant in taking care of me. He thinks he was at fault that day. But he wasn't. I wish he would realize that.
"Hey…" Even I don't recognize the voice that comes out of my mouth. I am still in the same body but it seems like I am watching myself from afar, like I am not the person who's actually talking. Get what I mean?
"How've you been?" As if he was not here yesterday.
"I'm just like yesterday, Taewon. Nothing new."
"You know you can talk to me, right?" I can feel his sincerity. He has never betrayed me and I trust him with my life but right now, I am starting to feel that no one is safe. Whether they lie to me or strike me, it won't matter. In one way or another, everyone will hurt me. It's just a matter of how.
"I know." A lie. Do I really know?
"Did you see the news?"
"I don't watch anything nowadays. I get sick watching the news." That was true. Every single time, I see monsters on the screen and my anger just boils and burns inside me.
"That's understandable." Defeated. Taewon knows. It will take much more than his visits to make things better. Unfortunately, he won't be able to bring my team back. A horrible, painful truth. And as I let others throw me around telling me everything will be okay, I still see my men in my sleep. Calling me, taunting me. Asking for help. I can still hear their screams as their lives were taken away without a fight.
"What's new though?" It takes so much but it's all I can do to thank him for his efforts, so I humor him and talk. I see him light up and for now, that's enough.
"He's been sentenced. Set for firing a month from today."

And I thought the day couldn't get any worse. I know Taewon meant well. He wanted to let me know that justice was indeed served. But what will it do now? Even if I put a bullet through that fucker's head a thousand times it would not make the dead walk. I will never see them smile, hear them laugh. I will never be able to scold them again or tell them they did a great job. NEVER...

"Shiloh? Still with me?" I can feel the seething anger in my belly and I don't want Taewon to worry any more. I can't let it seep through.
"Yeah, that's good news indeed. At least the families can now rest, revenge will be served." As much as I would want to sound sincere, it just doesn't seem right. What good is justice if it's served late? What good is the law if the wrong that was done can never be right again?
"I am one of the officers picked for the squad." He's scared. And it's very rare for Taewon to be scared.

He was never the one who thinks about self preservation but he gets really anxious when it comes to the security of those he loves. And I guess, I am one of those people. The past few weeks, I have been made aware of his unconditional love for me. Dealing with death has never been easy for anyone, much more for me and Taewon was the only one who stayed through all of it. Just like that rainy day, there's no need for a hug, not even a single touch. Just having him sitting here with me is enough but I'm afraid I'm tainting him. Pulling him into the abyss that I've fallen into. I want him, need him to be okay. I can’t destroy him too.

"But?" I watched as his chest rose and fell in a slow but smooth pace. His heavy breathing coming out of his nose. Finally, after pining for long minutes, he holds my hand. Funny how I just noticed it now, my hands look like a child's compared to his. His veiny, muscular digits completely engulfing mine as he closed his eyes.
"I know Shiloh. It's not enough." He looks up at me, his eyes brimming with tears. As much as I am hurting and breaking, it hurts more to see him in pain. My little hands flew to his cheeks, quickly brushing the steady stream of tears. He captures my right hand, holds it in place and leans onto it. I can feel all his muscles tense as he fights his unrelenting tears. Finally, he breaks down.

"I'm so sorry Shiloh. I know it’s not enough." I am not sure if he really meant those words for me or for both of us. I expected him to put blame on himself, I could have never been more naïve of his grief. For some reason, I found peace in the fact the I was not the only one who drowned. A sudden calm washed over me as Taewon shared his sorrow. No matter how much I detest physical contact, I allowed myself to wallow in his warmth as I cradled his head against my chest.
"It's okay Taewon-ah. It's not your fault. We'll be okay. I will be okay." I whispered to him, my cheek on top of his head, rocking us back and forth as I feel his breathing slow down to a steady rhythm. We stayed like that for a few minutes before Taewon felt too mushy and straightened himself.

"Sorry for that." He said as he sniffed the snot threatening to slip from his nose and I smile. I guess everyone can be a little crazy sometimes. "Everything's just settling in. Guess I was in limbo these past few weeks, working like a car on auto."
"Good thing Rice isn't here. She would've tried imitating a laugh if she heard that."
"Your robot and her little antics. She's learning from you and I don't think it's good."

I laugh for the first time since the incident. A good, loud, hearty, belly laugh. And I chortle louder as Taewon jumped a little in surprise. He must be thinking I've completely lost it.

Rice has been my companion since I was deployed. An extravagant gift from the Tower as they tried to woo me into joining Project Light. I was actually set on returning her when she arrived but my mom told me to keep her since she would provide me protection and will allow me to do my job easier. Well, I really can't say no to her, can I? We lost my father while he was on duty and if only to protect me, I'm sure my mom would have chosen to take me out of the Police Academy. I knew it will take a lot of her courage to let me go on duty everyday, so to atleast give her some peace I accepted Rice.

My robot assistant has proven her worth through the years that now, she has become an invaluable part of my life. I refer to her as a 'she' because she's almost humanoid. I mean, her body still looks metallic but she's shaped like a human and she has facial features that she can move. As the time went by, she has learned to create expressions with her face. I'm not really sure if she was made that way but it made me feel more at ease with her. We are actually too in sync right now that sometimes, I prefer her company rather than flesh and blood. Given that she's a robot, she provides accurate information and comes up with concrete insights about any topic I can think of. I can say that she's grown on me. I can't imagine my day without Rice.

"Rice is my robot so she should learn from me but from the looks of it, she's learning some antics from you and I hate it. She's becoming more feisty." Taewon laughs a little but there's still a gray cloud over us. "Hey, don't get bothered anymore. You know I'll be fine." I cupped his chin and winked at him. At last, a sweet laugh. I needed that.
"And you have the energy to be cute." Eventhough he knows I loath cheek pinching, he still does it and I stick out my tongue at him. I miss being like this. Being carefree but Taewon has his own life. He has his job and the least I want is to burden him with my woes.
"Enough of being cute though, did the investigations restart? I'm sure it will be harder for us to catch those freaks." He just sighs.
"Well, yeah. They've been more elusive. It might take long before we can make another move." Just as I've expected.
"That's a given. We failed horribly. But don't lose hope yet. Did you contact Mingjun? How is he anyway?" I know how Taewon detests Mingjun for reasons I can never understand but I had to check on him too. He was with us and I'm sure he would also feel crappy about what happened.
"I'm surprised he hasn't visited you yet."
"Mingjun? Visit? Me? Why?"

Taewon chortled at that. Yes, he finds it so amusing when I'm completely baffled. I'll give him this time to laugh at me. We've been through hell and a good laugh won't be bad.

"I'm sorry. Haha. I'm sorry." Okay. This is too much. He's crying with too much glee right now.
"Okay, don't push it Hong. I might just break your neck right here." He did his best but he was still snickering.
"Okay, okay. You just looked so stupid. Haha."
"The hell! What is it? Why would Mingjun want to visit?"
"You're really a stone, are you?"
"What?!" The fuck is Taewon on?
"Well, if I must be so frank with you, silly Shiloh, it's already obvious to everyone except you that Captain Chah is smitten."

What?! Mingjun? The Chah Mingjun? Smitten? Does he mean Mingjun actually likes me and everybody already knows? Wow! Where have I been?

"If you're joking, now's the best time to stop." He just gave me a derp face and shook his head slowly.
"You mean, it's true?"

Taewon is really getting on my nerves right now. He basically doubled over laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's being a child again. It's nonsense to try to stop him now so I just sigh and glare at him. I hope he chokes while laughing.

"Whoo! You're giving the best laugh right now Kang."
"Yeah, I can see that." If I have a death glare he would've dropped dead by now.
"But yeah, the guy likes you. He's been visiting the station every day, tryin' to check on you."
"Every day? You mean, he goes down from Pan? Why doesn't he just call then?"

He just shrugged. Ofcourse, what does he know?

"Well, I guess I'll just call him then." Why does he suddenly look aghast? "What's the problem?"
"You? C-call Mingjun?" Did he just stutter?
"Yeah, why?"
"You don't even call me and we're best friends!"
"It's non-sense to call you. Besides, you pester me every single day so why would I call you?"
"Whoa! That hurts!"
"It’s not effective."
"I know… When will you be back though?" He finally asked. I guess he misses having someone to irritate everyday.
"The commander told me to take all the time that I need though he required me to take atleast a week off and today's the last day of that so…" I actually don’t know when. My body is certainly fully capable of going back to work. However, it's a totally different story when it comes to my mind and my heart. The wounds have healed and there are only scars left on my skin but I am still in pain. And at times, it gets too hard to bear.
"So…?"
"I honestly don't know. It just won't be the same. I'm not sure if I can handle seeing new faces on their desks." Taewon's face fell. I'm quite sure that new agents may have been recruited to replace my team, some tenured ones may have been moved to handle training and de-briefing. I know I can make them all reach their potential but my team… My team was perfect.
"I know it will be hard but we can't really stop the work from coming in. While you were at the hospital they already started the recruiting process. Don't worry though, they said no newbies so it'll be easier for your team to adjust." I really do hope so. I actually wanted to get newbies since they are easier to train, easier to mold. Tenured officers tend to be more unwelcoming of change.
"I see. You know where they are coming from?" I wanted to know the mix of my team so that I can align my ideals with them. They should understand how I work and how I want them to work.
"I think it's a mix. But as far as I've seen on the shortlist, most of the applications came from the Blocks."
"Oh so they applied huh? Do they know they'll be under me?" That's surprising. As far as I know, they don’t like me that much.
"Why? Surprised?"
"Well, they've always wanted me out of their stations when I drop by."
"You can't really blame them. You're basically a walking bomb magnet. You get threats everywhere. Do you know we actually have a team that sweeps the vicinity every couple of hours? The same goes for the station." That is one big news. Did I really attract that much attention?
"Why am I only finding out about this now?"
"They didn't want you to worry after the bombing."
"Oh, was that it? I was the reason for that?!" Honestly, why didn't I know this? Have I really been that naïve? Wow! Just,… wow.
"I can't believe you didn't know!"
"No one gave me feedback for that bombing case. And given that it's not my case, I didn't bother pestering anyone for a follow-up. So that's why they don't want me near the stations up there." Taewon just shook his head slowly, a snicker forming in to a full on chortle again. "If you're thinking of laughing, stop. You've exhausted your lives for today."

Taewon just took a deep breath and stood up. What? He's leaving? Already?

"Rushing?" I can't help but ask. I want him to stay. He's the single normal thing in my life right now.
"Sorry, Kang. Can't stay long for today. We have a family affair. Mom told me to go home early." I can't really compete with that, can I?
"Oh, okay. I see. Yeah, ofcourse. Sure." Why am I spewing non-sense?
"You forgot huh?" Forgot? What the hell did I forget this time?
"What do you mean?" He just brushed his thumb on my cheek before planting a kiss on my forehead.
"Don't worry about it, Shiloh. No big deal. Just take a rest now."
"Hey, you can't do this. Besides, I've been resting all week." He just smiled and gave me a small salute before turning his back on me. Just as he was reaching for the door I remembered. Yes, how can I even forget! "Hong, don't you dare get out of that door!"
"What's wrong this time?" I acted all cute and pat the empty space on my bed.
"Here."

He has the audacity to act stupid, pointing to his chest then on my bed. I do my best to humor him by nodding. And as soon as he's comfortably sitting beside me, I gave him a peck on the cheek. He immediately snapped his head sideways and I had to stop myself from laughing as his eyes grew wide and his cheeks and ears turned red.

"Happy Birthday, Taewon-ah!"

I can feel my whole body tense and heat up as Shiloh's soft, supple lips lifted from my cheek. She… she just kissed me. She kissed me! My heart is galloping like a horse and I'm sure she can hear it. What the hell am I supposed to do?

"Happy Birthday, Taewon-ah!" Despite all she's been through, she still gave me her brightest smile and I can feel that she's genuinely happy having remembered it. It didn't really matter if she did.

My voice got caught in my throat. With my thumping chest, it's getting harder to breathe. Is this how it really is? That feeling of choking in your own breath because of another person?

"Are you okay?" she cocked her head to the side looking at me with her doe eyes.
"I… uh…" Shit! I sound so stupid.
"What? I'm sure that was not your first kiss. I can certainly remember giving you a peck before." Why does she have to remind me now? I haven't even gotten over that!
"I… no… it's not." I'm sure I look like a tomato by now.
"Then what?" I seriously don't know what to say to her now.
"Th-th--th-thank you." WHAT?! The hell with the stuttering! I am so fucked up.

Her laugh rang as clear as bells across her room. She was slapping my arm as she chortled away.

"Oh my God, Taewon. What's gotten into you? It's just a peck on the cheek!" And she decides to tease me more. I am so dead! Might as well fling myself out the door.
"I.. I really have to go. I'm sure they're waiting."
"Ya! Wait! You haven't answered my question." Ah! Why? Why does she have to be a little shit now? With that smile of hers, I know she won't let me go until I give her an answer.
"Wh-what?" I can't go on with this conversation any longer.
"What's the matter?" I'm seriously gonna go crazy! What am I supposed to tell her? That I love her? Just like how Mingjun likes her? That I hate the man because I'm jealous? Because I don't want anyone else to look at her the way I do? What? What does she want me to tell her?
"You know you won't be able to get out of the house without that answer, right?" Is she playing with me? Is she really playing dumb with me right now? Or is she simply too dense? Ah! I don't care anymore. I was so close to losing her. Might as well let her know now.

*****SHILOH*****

I am always action ready. Always ready to pounce on criminals but nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared for what Taewon did.

His hands turned to fists as he took a deep breath like he was preparing to march to battle. He took his place again on my bed, I stiffened when he lifted his hand to fix the stray strands of my hair. I found myself gazing onto his chocolate brown orbs as he closed the distance between us. Were his eyes always this deep?

My heart skipping, threatening to escape from my chest as he cupped my chin, my hairs standing on end at the feel of his hand. I heard him gulp before he lowered his gaze and I felt the air from his nose hit my cheek as he touched his lips to mine. Soft yet strong, and full. I grabbed the sheets beneath me for support as I saw him close his eyes, moving his lips, coaxing me to let him in.

I felt every fiber in my body turn warm and fuzzy. What in the world is this? Is this how I have been feeling for Taewon all this time? Have I been depriving myself of this happiness all along? How can I be so blind?

As memories flashed back in my head, I finally realized. Everything that Taewon has done for me all these years. That fear I saw in his eyes when I almost died a few weeks ago. I finally admit to myself that this is why I needed him. I felt all my fears wash away as I let Taewon in, closing my eyes, finally allowing myself to breathe into the kiss and I feel him moan, oh so softly.

He tastes of mint and smell of soap. And yeah, this is definitely not the first time he kissed someone. But wait, how can he still smell so fresh after a day's work? I lost all the feeling of awkwardness as he swiped his tongue on my lips, I let out a small gasp as I grabbed his collar with one hand, planting the other on his chest. Oh, he sure is nervous! His heart was basically making leaps under my touch and I wasn't able to stop myself from snickering. Damn! I destroyed the moment.

He was the first one to pull away, his eyes still closed as he touched his forehead to mine. He took a deep breath which he let out slowly and silently. What is he thinking? With the years we spent together you would think I would know him well by now but this is different. I don't know this side of him. I'm starting to feel embarrassed when I felt him plant his lips on my forehead.

"Taewon-ah?" He just hummed in response as he rubbed his thumb on my cheek.
"Shiloh…" The sound of my name sound so much sweeter now. He took my face on both hands and looked at me straight in the eyes. " Shiloh, you don't know how long I've wanted to let you know."
"How long?" I want to know how long I've been stupid not noticing all the signs.
"Since you beat me at relay." This day is certainly full of surprises.
"But we were still in the academy then."
"Yes, that long."
"So, Mingjun?"
"I hate the guy because he's got the guts to hit on you and you play right onto his moves. It ticks me off." I had to laugh at that. I never posed him as the jealous type. He was always so calm, so level-headed.
"I guess I won't call him anymore."
"Really?"
"So does this mean...?"
"What?"
"I mean, are we…?
"What?"
"You know…"
"Oh my God just ask it already!"
"Are you finally mine?"

Mine. A word that connotes ownership. To be honest I have never seen myself being in a relationship before. Sure, there were guys who expressed their feelings for me but I've always turned them down immediately. I've always felt that being in a relationship will hinder me from my goals. That having to worry about another person will be a distraction, but not now. Being with Taewon seems to be the only option and I would gladly accept it.

"Yes…" It was the easiest decision I had to make in my entire existence. It was as natural as breathing. He suddenly stood up and skipped.
"Yes! Yes! Whoo! Yes!" He crashed his lips onto mine then peppered me with kisses. Yep, I still hate being too cuddly and too sweet. I thrashed but he had a tight grip on my cheeks so I squealed and my mom came running up to my room finding me and Taewon giggling.

"Wh-what happened? Are you okay, darling?" Should I tell her?
"Eommonie, you won't believe what just happened!" Ofcourse, Taewon was too excited to even consult me.
"Why? What is it?" My mom didn't know who to address the question to.
"I just had the best birthday gift, Eommonie. Shiloh, she…"
"I accepted his feelings Eomma." I just had to do that. I want my mom to hear it from me.
"You… You and Taewon?" I gave her a slow nod and I can swear her eyes lit up like LED lights. "Taewon-ah, is this true? You guys are not playing with an old woman's heart, right?"
"No Eommonie. It's true." And she flung she opened her arms towards Taewon who was too eager for the hug.
"Awww my dear boy. You took too long!" She finally said giving Taewon a tap before pulling away.
"You knew?!" Why is it that I'm always the last one to know?