Chapter Text
Alec wasn't always so sure what to think of Max. It was like she was made of butterflies and chaos. One second, soft and kind and gentle. Getting shot in the gut because she cared enough to jump in front of a kid in the gas line. Kissing Joshua on the forehead when she was worried about him and taking him out trick or treating to make him happy. Panic attacks and needing support, and finally feeling willing to ask for the help she so desperately needed. And then in the next second it was back to the stone cold bitch. Hitting Alec over the back of the head, yelling at him for things that weren’t his fault, barking orders like she knew the ins and outs of everything. It drove him crazy, and really pissed him off. But lately, he was seeing more of the gentle Max, and that drove him crazy too. He tried to convince himself that it was because he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. When that didn't work, he tried to just ignore it. All of his protests vanished when, a few days after the panic attack, Max knocked on the door of his office and asked for a hug, staring down at her shoes and looking mad at herself for even thinking of asking. She’d melded into him and around his heart and he let her. He gave up all of his arguments and half truths inside his head and saw what was really going on.
From that point, it only got worse. It seemed like everything she did he would read into. Every small smile, every laugh, every brush of her arm against his he wondered if maybe she could feel the same way. He recalled what he’d told Asha once, about how if he wanted a woman he’d tell her. He just couldn't get past the thought that if things went sideways, the price would be too high for him to be willing to pay and he would want to leave TC. His life would suck without her, he thought. As usual, he wanted what he couldn't have; he was out of his mind but he wanted to wait it out. He couldn't forget the little moments they had, and he knew she felt them too. It wasn’t like him to get all mushy, so he stayed silent, and she drove him crazy in new ways.