Chapter Text
There comes a time when the past comes back to haunt you. Sometimes it's literally, in Keith’s case. When Voltron came back to a war-ravaged Earth, Keith didn't think much. He was focused on wiping out as many Galra troops as possible. It wasn't as if he had family down there to worry about, his family was already with him.
Well, there was Adam, but the last time Keith asked if Shiro what he was going to do when he saw him again, Shiro gave him a pain-stricken look and he dropped it. If Shiro didn't want to talk about him, Keith wouldn't force him to. So he focused on doing what he did best. Fighting Galra robots. Leading the team. Being the Paladin he once scoffed at the idea of.
A lot had changed since his Garrison days. He had changed. And so had his teammates.
Keith didn't know when it had happened, but he knew he could trust these people with his life. They went through hell together and came out stronger than before. They were each other’s support. He had never felt this trusting towards someone before, not since before the Kerberos mission. So he kept it small and hidden in his chest, the trust, the admiration, the love he had for his teammates. He tried to show it to them in small bursts, but Keith still had difficulties with displaying emotions. But he tried.
So when the drones began shooting at them, and he and Lance happened to be behind the same overturned car for cover, he tried.
“I'll distract them, you shoot,” he said, hands gripping his bayard. He looked over and saw Lance’s determined face, so different from the boy he remembered back when Voltron was just a concept and Shiro had just been saved. His easy-going expression was gone, and it made something in him hurt. So he let his voice drop low, and said in a semi-serious voice, “Don't miss.” It was entirely ironic, since Lance was one of the few people he trusted not to miss.
He saw Lance’s expression change-- a furrow of the brow, a dip of the lips, but something in his eyes glimmered as the ghost of their past dynamic came back. There was something strange about it; the cadence was wrong, steps were missing, but Keith was trying, Lance knew he was trying, and that was all they needed.
He turned away, face turned up in giddiness for a millisecond before he became serious again. And that was when he slipped back into habit and began doing what he did best: kicking ass. It was as natural as water. Slash, duck, swing, kick, rinse, repeat, and Keith relished in it. Everything was automatic. Everything was background noise. He was focused only on hitting this and hitting that. He trusted his teammates to fall back into the same dance as well.
Something exploded behind him and he turned just in time to see a drone Lance had just shot to protect him. Pride bursted in his chest at his right hand man, but he keep it inside. He glanced down at the ruined machine. “I wonder how many of them are here. Pidge, do you think you can find a way to let us know where they are?”
“Already on it,” she said from a little alcove not too far from where he was. He could see her fiddle with a hologram, doing things he couldn't even bother to comprehend with technology beyond him. It was moments like these when he forgets she’s only a teenager thrusted into an intergalactic war and not a trained hacker. “It seems four more are heading this way.”
There was another burst of beams that shot towards them and it was back to fighting. Except this time, it wasn't a drone. Robotic Galra soldiers marched towards them, guns aimed and cocked. Keith furrowed his brows in irritation, but it couldn't be helped. They were in a war, he couldn't blame the Galra for not being more creative and sending literally anything else. It was a good thing, too. Keith knew how to fight them. He excelled in it.
Keith entered a strange zen-like place as he fought, his muscles reacting to shots while his mind was blank. It wasn't until he heard the unmistakable sounds of tires screeching on the ground that he looked up in surprise. A car--a human car--had just appeared out of nowhere, knocking a Galra trooper down before it could reach a startled Hunk. Another figure-- human, very much human-- hopped out from the car and began shooting at the drones with a gun Keith had never seen before. Their uniform was also new. Sure, it had been years, but still. What else had changed?
“I had that,” Keith growled, irritation already filling him. He didn't need the help.
The figure straightened and held their gun defensively across their chest. A voice, distorted slightly, came out from the helmet. “Drones send distress signals when attacked. Our weapons neutralize them.” There was a bite to his words that made Keith pause. It was familiar, in a strange, antagonist way. “So unless you want to deal with a swarm of those things, let us handle it.” He growled the last part and Keith couldn't help but think this guy was an asshole. “Now let's get out of here before more show up.”
But Keith hesitated. Something about that statement had gears turning in his head.
“Let's get out of here. What if someone else comes?”
“They won't. Don't you want to stay with me a little longer-”
Keith shoved that memory so hard from his brain, a migraine started. Now was not the time. It was never the time.
So he got into the car with the rest of the paladins and did his best not to think about it.
It was….strange, watching Lance and Pidge interact with their families. The crying, the hugging. It made Keith hang awkwardly to the side, hands crossed as Kosmo rubbed his leg in comfort. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for them. It all just felt strange, after how long they've been in space. He had almost forgotten they had family other than him. He wanted to smile but all he could remember was the distant memories of his dad’s smile, the shack he grew up in, the orphanage, and the Garrison, where he felt like he would never belong. Before, Earth was a bad memory. Now it was a reality. And he didn't know how to feel about that.
But as he watched Lance’s family engulf him in a hug, he couldn't help a fond expression from taking place. He was happy for Lance. He really was. He was the one who missed Earth the most, he deserved to be happy. Strange feelings bubbled in his stomach as he thought of the sharpshooter, but Keith decided it was just a strange version of homesickness.
He hadn't been paying attention to the conversation Shiro was having with Iverson, who looked older and more pliable, like soft dough, since the last time Keith saw him. He overheard the word “Adam” and decided to occupy himself with running a hand through Kosmo’s thick hair. That conversation was private, and he didn't want to be caught in the middle of it.
“And cadet!” Iverson said, voice just as authoritarian as before.
Keith stood up straight, saluting. Habits died hard, it seemed. “Yes, sir!” Which was a joke, because Keith couldn't remember the last time he called Iverson “sir”. It sure as hell wasn't when he punched him in the face before getting expelled from the Garrison.
A strange smile was playing on his lips, something Keith would never imagine seeing on the commander. “I owe you an apology as well,” he said. “I heard about everything you've done and I was wrong about you.” His eyes softened. “I was a dick to you, even when you didn't deserve it.”
Keith thought back to his Garrison days, when he was a small bundle of raw emotions and insecurities and unresolved issues. He couldn't remember a day when he didn't deserve it, but it was the thought that counted. “I hadn't been the greatest cadet,” Keith admitted, mouth upturned slightly. “I also owe you an apology.”
And Keith held out his hand, something he would never do when he was back in the Garrison. The past seemed like a distant dream now. This, right now, this present time, it was all that mattered. “You were still a major dick, though.”
Iverson laughed and Keith thought, This is okay. We both grew since then.
Iverson turned to Kosmo and Keith noticed a heavy gaze planted on the back of his head. He whipped his head around in time to catch the asshole-- sorry, soldier from earlier. Their eyes met and something like electricity flickered between them. Keith couldn't help but stare, face puzzled. He knew that gaze. He swore he did.
And then he took off his helmet and Keith’s breath caught in his throat. Tanned skin, angular face, sharp gray eyes, soft brown hair. It was older, filled with sharp lines and diluted colors, but it was undeniably the same. And as he turned away, hair flipping onto his face, Keith couldn't help but wonder, Woah, when did James fucking Griffin turn hot?
They were due in the conference room soon to talk about their next steps, but Keith’s head was too full of questions to properly care about the meeting. He sat on one of the couches in the common area, fingers threaded together as he thought long and hard about what he had learned. The other occupants of the room watched him out of the corner of their eyes, whispers starting.
James Griffin is hot now. Not only is he hot, he is a lot more mature and leader-like.
Keith didn't know why this bothered him so much, but realizing that the scrawny, rich kid that used to be second in his class grew up to be a leader made Keith want to punch himself in the throat. He knew eventually that they would have to meet up and talk about their past because the last time they saw each other, there were too many things left unspoken. But Keith wanted the past to be left in the past and he didn't trust his feelings.
“Keith, buddy, there you are,” came a familiar drawl.
Keith blinked and looked up, surprised to see Lance, Hunk, and Shiro walk up to him. They were wearing Garrison clothes, just like when they were younger. Shiro looked odd in his, as if it didn't fit right. He kept tugging at his collar, expression sour. Keith wondered what he was thinking, and if the uniform was giving him flashbacks to his own past. He tried to ask him a question with his eyes but Shiro looked away in embarrassment, neither confirming nor denying anything. It seemed as if right now wasn't the right time to ask about Adam either.
“Where’ve you been?” Lance asked, sliding next to him and slinging an arm around his shoulder. The contact was strange and foreign after everything that had happened to them, all those years apart, but Keith found himself leaning into the touch. “The meeting’s about to start.”
“I was just...thinking,” he responded, eyes once again focused on the ground.
Lance and Hunk exchanged gazes and Shiro lifted an eyebrow. “About what?” Hunk finally asked.
Keith didn't respond for a while. He was still confused about his own emotions and having Lance here didn't help. Frustrated, he turned to Shiro, who was the only one who could possibly understand, and asked, “Do you remember James? Griffin?”
Shiro’s eyebrows furrowed. “Griffin? From the Garrison?”
Keith nodded. “I saw him today. He got fucking hot.”
It took Shiro one, two, three seconds to understand before his eyes widened and he barked out a surprised laugh. “Him? The same Griffin you punched?”
Keith hated how amusing Shiro managed to find all of this. It reminded him of back then, when James was first on his radar and he complained to Shiro, who was grading papers with an affectionate eye roll. “Yes! Do you not know how weird this is now? He was an asshole, he shouldn't have glowed-up this well. I swear, this is karma.”
“Keith, you were the only one who thought he was an asshole. He was actually a very charming boy.”
“Um,” Lance said, and Keith was reminded of the other Paladins with them. Hunk was watching them bicker with an upturned eyebrow. Lance had a strange expression on his face. “Who’s James Griffin?”
Keith covered his face in embarrassment. Sure, it had been six-ish years (for Keith at least) since they had last seen James, but it couldn't have been that hard to remember him.
“Who's James? Oh man,” Shiro laughed again. He sure was enjoying Keith’s suffering. “Keith was obsessed with him back when they were cadets. Every night, he would complain to me about something James said or did. They were competitive and only did well to spite each other. There was so much sexual tension between the two that I got worried. They were, like-”
“Rivals,” Keith mumbled behind his hands. “James was basically my rival.”
A beat of silence. Then another. Recognition flickered in Hunk’s gaze. “Oh yeah, that guy-”
“WAIT, WHAT??”
Keith winced at Lance’s screeching and scooted away from him. Everyone else in the common area stared at them. Keith tried to ignore them as much as possible as his face warmed. “Why are you screaming?”
Lance’s face was red and there was something- jealousy?- hiding underneath his incredulous expression. “What do you mean, ‘your rival’? I thought I was your rival? Keith and Lance, always neck and neck?”
Keith shot him a confused look. “Lance, what are you talking about? We weren't even in the same class.”
Lance looked like he wanted to explode. Shiro was laughing again. And Hunk, bless his heart, was the only one who seemed to be on his side. He placed a hand on his shoulder--after Lance abruptly took it off-- and said in a gentle voice, “Actually, he was. So was I. We were both in your class.”
Keith’s face screwed up in confusion. “Really, how did I not know?”
“Maybe because you were always staring at James,” Shiro suggested, a wicked gleam in his eyes letting Keith know that, yes, he intended to milk this for all it was worth. “And let's not forget those times when you two hooked up-”
“Shiro!” Keith yelled, shooting up. His face was a mess of blotchy red, and the indignant expression was lost under the embarrassed scowl. “I told you those in private!”
But Shiro loved to see him suffer. It was payback for all those years back when Keith was an absolute devil to Shiro and Adam. “I can't help it! You were so cute with your crushes and-”
“You had a crush on James Griffin?!?” Lance exploded. His words were strained, cracked.
“It wasn't a-!” Keith stopped himself short, forcing himself to breathe out slowly. Patience yields focus. Patience yields fucking focus. He looked Shiro straight in the eyes and said in the coldest voice he could muster, “Hey, is that Adam over there?”
Fear shot through Shiro’s face and his body tensed. Triump flickered in his chest. At least now Keith wasn't the only one suffering. Shiro shot a quick, paranoid glance behind his shoulder. “Wow, would you look at the time. We should probably head to that meeting-”
“Wait, who’s Adam?” Hunk asked, blessed innocent Hunk.
Shiro flinched, and a haunted look crept into his eyes. The triumphant feeling in his chest disappeared and Keith remembered the circumstances of Adam’s and Shiro’s last meeting. He felt bad and ashamed for taking advantage of their previous relationship that way, even if Shiro was doing the same thing. Keith knew how much Shiro loved Adam, even if he hated it when he was younger, and he was grown now. More mature. He knew better than this. If Shiro didn't want to face his past, Keith wouldn't force him to.
He sighed. “Someone from the past. Come on, let's go. We don't want to keep Iverson waiting."
Shiro shot Keith a grateful look and the flicker of something, something appeared in his chest. A feeling that never quite disappeared, never quite escaped, even when Keith kidnapped him from the Garrison and they all went to space together. Keith pushed down the something , pushed it very far down until it became nothing. Because this wasn't like back then. He was a Paladin of Voltron now, not an angsty kid with a stupid crush. That part of the past didn't need to haunt him.
They all decided to walk to the meeting room together, although Keith noticed Lance was hanging back from the group, uncharacteristically quiet. While Hunk and Shiro talked about which food from Earth they missed the most, Keith slowed down to walk side by side with Lance.
“Hey, man, what's up?”
Lance jumped, his serious face melting into one of confusion. Then he saw the way Keith was looking at him and smiled hesitantly. “Nothing, I just..." He trailed off.
But Keith wasn't going to let Lance get off the hook. Between saving the universe almost all the time and going on dangerous missions, they didn't really have time to talk. Not since Keith came back from the Blade of Marmora with an Altean and a Galra mother.
“Lance,” Keith insisted, voice soft. “Its okay. I'm here for you. I want you to know that.”
And Lance gave him that look, the same look they shared during their bonding moment years before, and Keith felt his heart stutter a little. He hoped his face wasn't as red as he thought it was.
“Thanks, man. I guess I just have to adjust to...all of this.” He looked away, and Keith was reminded once again of the past two years he missed with Lance, and how much they had to catch up on. Was Lance always this insecure about his feelings?
“Take as long as you need,” Keith reassured him. “I'm not going anywhere.”
Lance smiled at him and Keith’s heart did the weird flip again. “Thanks Keith.”
“Anytime.” And they fall into a comfortable silence. It was different from before. Obviously, something in their dynamic had changed, but Keith wasn't sure if it was a bad change. He was content to stay like this, but then Lance had to open his big mouth and ruin it.
“You and Griffin, huh,” he said in a voice half a step away from being sad. “Rivals.” There was a peculiar pause as something flickered in his eyes. “Wait, did you actually hook up with-”
Keith’s face burned and that was all the confirmation Lance needed. “God, Lance, let the past stay in the past!” He put up his defensive walls again and stormed past everyone, ignoring the way their eyes watched him. He saw Shiro give him a humorous smile from the corner of his eyes and he felt like punching the older man. James Griffin was in the past and he was going to stay there. He didn't need anymore distractions. Even as his own emotions tumbled and twisted until he wasn't sure who he was more annoyed at, Shiro, Lance, James, or himself.
And then the meeting happened. And James was there. And the strange electricity between them was back. And Keith couldn't stop staring at James. And James couldn't stop staring at him. But they didn't share a single word to each other.
James' mouth twitched as if he wanted to say something, but Commander Holt captured their attentions and the opportunity was lost. It was evident that James remembered him, and that made everything worse. Because now a talk was inevitable.
Keith wondered, helplessly, if he was the one who couldn't keep the past in the past.