Chapter Text
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the 2018 Public Persons fashion show, where everyday people can come on and show off an outfit that represents them! Now let me introduce our four lovely judges…” The presenter started, his voice and tone was very cheerful…and probably fake, “And finally we have our fourth judge, who is a guest star but he has participated a few times in other fashion shows -as both the contestant and the judge, ain’t that something! Please give a warm welcome to Mr Tony…Stark!” Said man couldn’t help but be surprised by the amount of cheering he got from the crowd, but he didn’t let it show, just smiled and waved.
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“I swear to god, Barton, you won’t be seeing the light of day ever again. I can not believe you convinced me to join you in this foolish thing.” Hissed a stunning redhead,
“Oh come on! It’ll be fun! I told you it’s a good prank on Tony!” Exclaimed a dirty blond haired man,
“Lady Natasha, Friend Clint is right! This is but an enjoyable experience for us to be involved in.” A tall man with his blond hair tied back in a ponytail asked
“How…how did I get roped into this?” Muttered another tall blond man only his hair was much shorter. Natasha breathed in heavily before catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror and gave the others a smile that was far too sweet,
“Well, I guess unlike you boys, I will actually do well. You all look like clowns.” She murmured checking over her hair in a way that was unusual for her.
“I wonder why…oh wait, it’s because Clint chose our clothes and not yours.”
“Well, that’s because I threatened to shove all of his arrows up his ass,” Natasha smirked at a pouting Steve.
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“Our next contestant is a man with incredible archery skills. Please welcome, Clint Barton.” Tony, who had been taking a drink of his coffee, promptly started choking on said beverage.
“Sorry, went down the wrong way.” He murmured when the judges beside him asked if he was alright.
Swaggering across the catwalk in a…horrendous purple outfit. Tony’s lip twitched in amusement before he composed himself and began to note down the score…The man (though he could be classed as a child mentally) wore a casual black graphic t-shirt that had a purple man with a bow (Tony assumed it was supposed to be Clint himself) along with some words in purple that read ‘Caw Caw Motherfuckers’. Oddly enough, it was probably the only normal item of clothing the archer was wearing. Above the t-shirt was a purple sequinned blazer that had a black collar and looked so out of place. Continuing with the purple theme, he seemed to have a pair of…women’s purple jeans. Tony had a feeling that Clint didn’t realise just how much blackmail Tony would now have on the man. Covering the majority of the odd pants were some purple knee-high laced boots…though they were still blackmail material, Tony couldn’t help but like there style. To complete the purple monstrosity of an outfit, Clint wore a basic purple cowboy hat.
The man posed once he reached the end of the catwalk just in front of the judges. He winked at Tony before walking back, making sure that he showed his butt off in the too tight pants. Tony sighed and rubbed his head, he had a feeling that the archer had managed to rope the others into the fashion show. He glanced back up as other contestants continued to come on and off.
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As they reached the contestants whose surnames began with ‘O’, the guest star judge got a terrible feeling…
“Next is an incredible man. One who not only works alongside Mr Stark as an Avenger but is also the Norse God of Thunder, Thor Odinson!” The large blond came out with a precious grin on his face, but his clothing was a completely different matter. Tony suspected that Clint had chosen it as everything was so…wrong. He wore a t-shirt that was a blindingly vibrant red that said ‘Is that a Mjölnir in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?’. Whilst Thor was most definitely not stupid, he still didn’t fully understand Midgardian sayings and so Tony had a feeling that Thor had merely seen the name of his precious hammer on the piece of clothing and taken a liking to it whilst not understanding the sentence rest of the sentence.
“Damn. I mean the outfits terrible and all, but he’ such a looker.” He heard Judy say from beside him, “Look at those muscles beneath his top!”
“Yeah, good choice on the tightness of it. You can see every detail.” The other female judge murmured back, Tony shook his head in amusement and continued to look at the so-called ‘outfit’. A cheap replica of Thor’s cloak sat on his shoulders and flowed behind him with each meaningful stride he took. The golden rustic jeans he wore were also tight and…left nothing to the imagination. On his feet, he wore tall black boots that came to his knees much like Clint’s only these ones had buttons and were…well, manly. To finish the outfit, a Musketeer-like folded hat sat atop his ponytailed hair. A single green feather attached to the side of it. Thor waved at Tony and the billionaire returned the gesture with a nod and a smile.
“You’re lucky, Mr Stark, to live with such a handsome man.” Anne, the other female judge, commented and Tony chuckled,
“Great guy, but I doubt you’d say that if you lived with him and his destructive behaviour. Oh and please, call me Tony.” The ladies blushed slightly and Tony smirked, ‘I’ve still got it’ he thought to himself.
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Compared to Thor and Clint, Steve walked along the catwalk quite quickly and shyly. As though he wanted to get it all over with as soon as possible…not that Tony was surprised given the man's attire.
“Now we have, Steve Rogers. An American who is as patriotic as you can get without being Captain America, of course.” Tony withheld his laughter at that and chose to analyse what Steve was wearing.
“You’d think that I’d be used to so much…patriotism seen as I work and live with Captain America.” He murmured to the judges, the other male grinned at that whilst the women had dreamy expressions much to Tony’s amused irritation.
Focusing on the blond, who was wearing red, white and blue. His leather jacket held the American flag as did his trousers, which had the bottom of the legs tucked into brown cowboy boots with the flag circling around the ankle area. Beneath the jacket, Tony spied a t-shirt that had Captain America’s shield on it, much to the billionaire's intense glee. Atop his head was yet another American flagged item, it was a baseball cap.
“He looks so sad.” Murmured Judy to Anne,
“Bless him.” She whispered back. Tony and Samuel, the other judge, shared a look and rolled their eyes at the women.
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“Please welcome Miss Natasha Romanova! A woman of beauty, grace and fire. You wouldn’t want to get on her bad side.” Commented the presenter as a stunning redhead sashayed along the catwalk, as though she was a true model, in an elegant emerald dress that matched her eyes perfectly. Her long legs slipped through the slit in the dress with each step, showing off the intriguing black stilettos she wore; once she came to a stop at the front of the stage, she turned her body and legs in a way that showed off the heels even more and from where Tony sat he could easily see the knife at the heel. Most would believe it was a mere decoration, but the billionaire knew it was real. She wore an emerald necklace that stopped just at the dip between her breasts. Hidden slightly by her hair, Tony spied a beautiful ear cuff that was decorated with flowers and emerald leaves. Leaning on one leg with a hand on her hip, before changing to the other side, she winked before turning on her heel. The tail of the dress flew behind her at the turn.
“Wow. Beautiful that one.” Samuel stated with a gaped mouth (and was that drool?) much to…the disgust of the other three judges.
“That she is. Fierce too. Her walk was elegant but there was a hidden danger in her stance.” Tony murmured.
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“And the three finalists are…Jason Divain, Natasha Romanova and Grace Rozate.” The three finalists walked to the front of the stage by the judges where they looked the three over once again before coming to a final decision. “It seems that the judges have come to a final decision and Judy has taken the mic to announce the positions.”
“Good evening everyone. Samuel, Anne, Tony and I have come to a final decision. In third place…is Miss Grace Rozate.” The crowd clapped and cheered as the blonde was handed a trophy, “In second place…Mr Jason Divain.” A silver trophy was given to the man, who put a fake smile on, clearly displeased by the place he was given. “And finally in first place, Miss Natasha Romanova!” A golden trophy was given to the redhead, who actually seemed rather surprised, “Congratulations to everyone! I’ll be handing the mic over to Mr Stark for a few words.”
“Good evening, everyone. It’s certainly been an interesting night, hasn’t it?” The crowd cheered, “From wacky and tacky clothing to beautiful and elegant outfits, I must say I’ll be going home tonight and switching up my wardrobe.” A lot of people were shouting that he didn’t need to which did absolutely nothing to lower Tony’s ego, he smirked and continued, “As Judy said, congratulations to everyone, not only the three of you but also to the rest of the participants. It has been an absolute pleasure and honour to sit here and judge. So give it up for the judges, the winners and the participants -oh and let’s not forget everyone’s favourite presenter!” The crowd cheered once again.
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Tony sighed heavily as he exited the elevator onto the common floor in the Avengers Tower. His burgundy blazer was tossed over his shoulder and the top buttons of his white shirt were undone with his loosened tie. He stumbled into the living room and found the rest of the team. Clint was grinning like a madman as he strutted around in his ridiculous attire whilst the others were in some causal comfortable loungewear. The group turned to Tony when he entered and the archer started to…well jump in place it seemed, in some form of childish excitement.
“Use your words, Katniss,” Tony grunted out,
“Did we embarrass you? Are you embarrassed? I chose Thor’s outfit and Steve’s too! Nat didn’t let me choose hers. But did it embarrass you? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me!” The rambled on and Tony couldn’t help but wonder just how old the man was.
“First of all, it’s obvious that you chose their outfits. You forget I live with you Barton and therefore, have become accustomed to your appalling clothing. Secondly,” He paused and turned his gaze to Natasha, “congratulations for winning, you looked absolutely incredible earlier today.”
“Thank you, Tony.” She smiled and kissed his cheek as he came to sit in the empty spot beside her,
“Thirdly, Clint, you are an absolute moron.” Said man glared at Tony but the billionaire merely continued speaking, “Yes I was absolutely appalled and disgusted by most of your clothing. Yet, you forget that no one knows your secret identity. No one knows that you’re Hawkeye or that Steve is Captain America, nor that Nat is the Black Widow. Yes, Thor is known but as he’s from another world, no one will think badly about him…mainly because he’s a goddamned golden retriever. My point is, Clint, you have secret identities and therefore, no one will link you guys back to me. So…really all you did was embarrass yourself and force Steve to make a fool of himself. Thor…like I said different world, different culture, all that may happen now is that people may think Thor’s attire is something Asgardians wear.” He finished with a shrug before standing and stretching with a yawn. “Anywho, I am shattered and in dire need of sleep. Buona Notte!” He murmured ‘goodnight’ in Italian and left for the elevator up to his floor.
He smirked to himself as he settled in bed about fifteen minutes later, it had been a very amusing and entertaining day…even if he still felt a bit sick from looking at the outfits Clint had picked out for the show.