Chapter Text
Bucky isn’t even home yet when his phone buzzes with an unknown number.
this is so you have my number too
The next set of messages come all in a rush:
this is clint
Barton
Clint Barton
from the bau
you probably know that
oh my god im just gonna throw my phone out the window bye
Bucky snorts. Steve glances over from the driver’s seat as Bucky starts typing.
I’m going to add you as Clint Barton From The BAU if you’re so worried about me forgetting
omg look I’m tired pretend i never said anything
Then I wouldn’t have your number.
im changing ur contact name to asshole
Bucky’s laughing now, which means Steve is definitely giving him A Look that’s gonna have to be answered when they get home, but the stupid interaction has Bucky in too good of a mood to care overly much.
Fine then. Clint “Dumbass” Barton From The BAU
Bucky Asshole Barnes
from the city where no one knows how to fucking drive
Bucky considers it for all of two seconds, and then shrugs, to himself.
Bucky “Hot Asshole” Barnes
There’s a pause where he can see Clint typing.
...accurate
It’s followed by a screenshot showing Bucky’s contact page, his number listed beneath “Bucky Super Hot Super Asshole Barnes”. Bucky can’t stop laughing now; it sounds like he’s wheezing.
He adds Clint into his phone as “Clint Dumbass Nice Ass Barton” and sends a screenshot back.
Nat says im laughing too hard and shes gonna take my phone cause im being a bad pillow
Who the fuck is driving?
coulson. he never lets anyone else drive. tasha and i got the back seat, thor and tony are asleep on each other in the middle, and bruce is up front
Wait are you all literally crammed into a clown car or what
phil likes to save money when he can
You’re like a bunch of children on a field trip.
u have no idea man tony can be the literal worst
I mean he got us the nice car so he gets some credit for that but
He likes to sing and its. Its awful
Does thor pack you all juice boxes and snacks?
omg hell no thor is the second worst of everybody here
he and tony once sang 99 bottles of beer on the wall all the way down to 0
Nat was crying by the end and i almost drove the car off the road
I’m surprised Coulson didn’t shoot you all.
lol well we take two cars sometimes
U didn’t meet the whole fam
Technically we have 2 other agents and 2 tech ppl
My god, it really is a clown car
watch the circus jokes bro
I certainly wasnt a clown
Bucky has absolutely no idea how to take that, so instead of replying he goes in, edits the contact info, and sends another screenshot, this one reading “Clint Dumbass Hot Ass Not A Clown Barton”.
Hahahahaha omg omfg stop
Nats gonna kill me
We’re home, and my bed’s calling. Let her sleep.
goodnight super asshole
Goodnight, clown.
Bucky tucks his phone back into his pocket and ignores the look that Steve’s giving him as they grab their bags from the back of the car. They take the elevator up in silence. Their apartment’s on the fifth floor, and while they normally take the stairs, normally they’re just tired from a workday, rather than a series of grueling stressful workdays with very little sleep.
It’s a nice apartment — way nicer than anywhere Bucky had ever imagined them living when they were kids. Three bedrooms - they both like being able to have guests - and two bathrooms, with an open kitchen-dining setup and a nice living room with a balcony. Bucky pitches his duffle onto his bed and heads into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
“I’m guessing that was Clint?” Steve says as he joins Bucky in the kitchen, not subtle at all.
“Yeah,” Bucky says, and drinks half the glass. “Thought it would be good to keep a contact at the BAU.”
“For work purposes, I’m sure,” and now Steve’s teasing him, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “I never knew crime could make you laugh so much.”
“Oh my god, eat shit, Stevie.” Bucky groans and rubs a hand over his face. “So I made a fuckin’ friend. I’m not gonna tell you anything if you keep this up.”
“You always tell me,” Steve replies, grin still firmly in place.
“Won’t,” Bucky warns him. When the grin starts to turn a little sappy, he adds angrily, “An’ no speeches about how nice it is that I’m talking to someone that isn’t you or the Howlies, either, or I’m gonna throw you out the window.”
“Seems like you’ve already given yourself the speech,” Steve says, smug. “You’re so well trained I don’t even have to bother anymore.”
“I hate you,” Bucky tells him, and Steve just shrugs.
Something occurs to Bucky, and he texts:
Hold up is this your official fbi phone
like am i now being uploaded to some fbi database as Bucky asshole Barnes
I’m not sure how i feel about that
There’s a minute or two before his phone buzzes with a response.
Hi, this is Natasha. Clint’s phone has been confiscated because he’s now laughing like a hyena and I really want this nap. It will be returned to him when we get back to Quantico, but as a professional fyi, he’s likely to be too tired to reply until tomorrow.
Oh, and nice to meet you, Barnes. Hope to see you around soon.
Bucky tries really hard not to blush. Maybe Natasha doesn’t know - she might be guessing, or she might be just trying to be friendly? It doesn’t mean anything, right. Although ...he certainly wouldn’t mind, if she’s implying what he hopes she is.
you too. that isn’t an answer tho
Natasha doesn’t respond, and Bucky figures she’s ignoring him and shoves his phone back in his pocket.
“So,” Steve says, so casual that shit-eating grin bleeds through his voice, “are you guys gonna get together?”
“Are you ever gonna ask out Peggy?” Bucky shoots back. “Look, the day you do somethin’ about that is the day you can have the full details of my lo- of my social life.”
“That is not the same,” Steve says with a sigh. “You know why.”
“Maybe not.” Bucky opens the fridge. “But it’s close enough you know what I mean. Want a beer?”
“Yeah, give,” Steve says. “Wanna crash on the couch and watch dumb tv until we pass out?”
“Hell yeah,” Bucky replies. “I’m beat.”
————-
Clint wakes up the next day with no real idea of how he got to bed, which means Tasha must have tucked his ass in. He’s wrapped up in a blanket cocoon, having pulled a pillow underneath his comforter, so everything is warm and comfortable; for a good moment he considers going back to sleep and spending the day in bed. He only reaches for his phone because he can’t remember whether or not it’s actually Saturday.
Turns out, it is, and Clint curls up around his phone drowsily, not wanting to emerge into his apartment. He glances back at the text thread with Bucky, to re-read Nat’s messages, and blushes hard.
Jesus, Bucky. Clint’s been reliving that night in the back of his head for forever, basically on a constant, full technicolor loop underneath anything else up to and including feeding himself. God. He wants to do it again. He wants to do it a million times again. He wants the chance to do all of his favorite things; he wants hours in a hotel bed, Bucky naked and laid out before him, and god but this has to be his four hundredth boner since Thursday night, cause now he’s thinking about Bucky naked. His dick has to be tired of this.
The problem is…
The problem is, Clint also wants to take Bucky out for dinner. He also wants to sit at that bar, wherever Bucky had taken him, and drink beer and just talk like they did, easy and nice and so casual it was comfortable, like they could have sat for days just trading stories and enjoying each other’s company. He wants to have Bucky over and fall asleep entwined on the couch. Fuck.
Clint knows he can be charming when he wants, and he can be competent at his job, but he’s never been good at any of this shit - and who even knows what Barnes would even want? But then he remembers that gentle kiss Bucky gave him in the morning, smiling, and thinks: see, this is why I get confused.
He swipes the screen and decides Bucky seemed amenable to chatting last night, at least, so why not.
sorry man nat gets super cranky when shes tired and im afraid to piss her off
that was a rough case even for us. welcome to working with the bau!!!!!
I hope you and steve get some rest this weekend. u guys did really good work and you deserve one hell of a break
im gonna make Tasha get drunk w me tonight its our usual response to shit like this
He’s idly flipping through the phone when he thinks he hears the door open, and crawls up to stick his head out from under the bedspread. “Nat?”
“Good morning,” she says. It’s faint but certainly comprehensible; Nat knows he isn’t completely deaf, just hard of hearing, and she takes care in the mornings to be extra clear until she knows he has his aids in. She must have let herself in.
“I’ll be right down,” he hollers, and scrambles out of bed, pulling on the first thing he can find that looks like clothes so he doesn’t lose all of this warmth, grabs his phone, and palms his aids, scrabbling them into his ears as he runs down the stairs.
Tasha has the coffee pot already working, and he breathes in deeply as he comes around behind her, putting his arms around her waist. Nat always smells good. “Good morning, sunshine.”
“Off, Barton,” she says, but she snuggles in deeper and wraps her arms around Clint’s arms at her waist. Fuck, she’s awesome.
“We on for DAS tonight?” Delivery and shots, part of their own lingo. When they’re around the team they pretend it’s some TV show they like, because Clint doesn’t necessarily want to admit how much they drink during a DAS night. Nat keeps telling him no one would care, but he isn’t quite comfortable enough in his place - even after all these years - to make that joke.
“Of course,” Nat says, and pulls away to get two mugs out of the cupboard. She nabs her special creamer from the fridge and delicately doctors her own mug, while Clint shortstops the pot to fill his with delicious dark goodness.
His phone chimes at him.
“Who the fuck keeps changing my ringtones?” Clint asks Nat as he checks.
Dude, Steve and i fell asleep on our couch last night drinking beer and watching reruns of Kitchen Nightmares
He’s out for a run because he’s crazy but i am still under a blanket on the couch because I am not
That seems friendly enough. Clint grins, and blushes, ducking his head. Maybe Bucky won't mind chatting until —
“Give me that,” Nat says, swiping it from his hand before he can even reply. She reads the thread in silence, purses her lips, and then hands him the phone back.
“You’re already in over your head, aren’t you,” she says gently.
Clint huffs. “I am not,” he insists, having another swallow of coffee and then topping his mug off with fresh coffee.
“Clint,” she says, and now her voice is laughing at him. “You know what tonight’s episode of DAS will be about, right?”
“Dammit, Tasha.” Clint retreats to his couch, curling up in the corner and hauling the blanket over his toes. He proceeds to ignore Nat as she sits down on the other side of the couch, swinging her feet up so that she can tuck her toes under his legs; she has her tablet, though, and looks like she’s just ready for a quiet and peaceful morning. They spend a lot of Saturday mornings like this, wanting companionship but not needing to fill the space with talk. It’s ...nice. It’s something Clint never really thought he was gonna have.
nat and i just got on the couch and under a blanket ourselves. her toes are fuckin cold
do you live together?
kinda she lives in the apartment across the hall so we each have our own space but we usually spend wknds together and split groceries and shit
That’s pretty lucky, to get places that close
Oh well i kinda own the building
accidentally
Clint
Clint BAU Barton
What the fuck does that mean
um
okay well
“Shit,” he mutters, and Tasha pokes him with her toes. “How do I explain how I, uh, got the building?”
Nat starts laughing because she is a little shit.
“I mean it,” Clint whines, and she’s laughing even harder, shaking the couch cushions. “Fuck off.”
“Do you like this guy?” Nat asks, and even though she’s still laughing her eyes are pretty serious.
“Well…” Clint glances away and says, small, “yeah.”
“Then tell him the truth, суколик,” Nat says. Her voice is soft and sweet and she only speaks Russian when she’s comforting him, so —
“Hey, wait, which one is that?”
“The one you like.” She smiles sweetly at him and goes back to whatever she’s reading.
Clint chugs his coffee, and then goes to it.
okay so haha um i was looking to invest in some real estate here around quantico, there are some really nice areas and im pretty handy as long as i pay enough attention and dont like put nails in my thumbs
and i was shopping around and found this building with an apartment i really liked for ME
but when i started looking into it i found out it was owned by like, the mob
Can we go back to the part where you’re nailing your thumbs
Cause it sounds like you’ve done that before
Lksjfkasjfsdf the mob????? Are you even for real
yyyyyeah man so like the fbi busted them and i sort of wasn’t thinking and bought the building from the bank and now its mine
my friend kate manages it cause im usually gone on cases and stuff
it was a kinda dumb purchase
Clint
what
How do you
A.ksdjasd
How do you accidentally buy an entire apartment building
dude its not a big one like three floors, four apts each floor
That doesnt explain how
okay so i was meeting with the police and the bank to close up the case and apparently they offered me first rights of purchase and I wasn’t like listening? so i said okay and they were like thatll be however many dollars and i said i have that many dollars and thats what happened
are you laughing
Of course I’m laughing, you idiot
im sure i could have said oh wait no at some point but once i realized what was going on and that i really did have that many dollars i sort of said fuck it
ive never owned a place where ive lived and it feels kinda nice
You know…
Clint grabs his coffee and hastily drinks some more. That got a bit… open, maybe, more than he’d intended, but Barnes has been texting with him for a while now and it feels good. It feels like there’s a chance that there’s maybe a thing.
So don't get me wrong, I’m still laughing
But I think you’re right. Steve and I share an apartment, and it’s a way nicer place than I ever thought was possible for us, growing up, but we don’t own it.
I think that has to feel pretty cool.
yea its nice to have something to turn to that isnt serial murder killer people
Nat never answered me, is this your work phone
nah so work requires a certain model and a certain plan but you buy the phone and take out the contract.
they subsidize some percentage of it but theyre not stupid they know we work dangerous jobs where we want to be in touch w fam and friends without worrying about the fuckign fbi
although yes ur now in the bau archives as Bucky hot asshole Barnes
I hate you
no u dont
Hmmmmm
What makes you so sure?
“Oh my god,” Clint says out loud, almost like it’s all one word. “Nat, I think he’s flirting with me.”
Tasha only shifts her feet beneath his thigh and shrugs. “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was gonna happen,” he points out. His mug is empty. He holds it out to Nat with what he hopes is a really pleading expression on his face.
She sighs loudly, but stands up. “I will refill this,” she says, pointing, “but only if you flirt back.”
“Fiiiiiine,” Clint drawls.
the fact that u put me in ur phone as Nice Ass Barton
Well, I sure don’t hate your ass
Clint’s face heats up like a motherfucker, and Nat’s already laughing at him from the kitchen, Christ, all people have done today is laugh at him, what the hell?
u seemed to be a fan of the whole package
He only realizes after he sent it that fuck, yeah, that means they’re gonna talk about it. Why is he so bad at this?
There’s a really long pause where Clint sits and wonders whether that crossed some sort of bro line he isn’t aware of, or if Bucky’s the kind of person who’s uncomfortable talking about that kind of thing, but then —
I remember being quite fond of it, yeah
But i dont have the best memory
I may need a reminder at some point, if you’re gonna keep telling me ridiculous stories
“Holy fuck,” Clint says, and drops his phone.
Nat lunges at it, like zero to sixty, and she’s already swiping through the messages by the time Clint makes a grab at it.
“Give it back,” he says. “That’s my emotional support flirting.”
Nat’s lips quirk up into a smile as she reaches the end.
“So does that mean what I think it means,” Clint bursts out, one long breath of words.
“I can’t read your mind and I don’t want to,” Nat replies. “But I think that’s an open invitation, both for more texting and maybe for you getting laid again.”
Clint chokes on the coffee and says through the resulting coughing, “That’s if I don’t fuck it up.”
Nat smiles, incredibly sweet and snarky at the same time. “That’s what tonight’s episode of DAS will be about then,” she says, and neatly tucks her toes back under the blanket.
Clint looks down and thinks, well, fuck it, right?
this ass isnt forgettable
you must not have spent enough time with it yet
Fuck, Barton
You’re killing me here.
Clint smiles, a real smile: the same fond one he remembers Bucky smiling down at him on Friday morning. Shit, he’s so gone.
feelings mutual
Well, then.
Sry gotta go Steve needs breakfast and w have no groc ery
catch u later man
He breathes in, breathes out. Huh. This is unexpected.
“We may need to start DAS early.”
“Clint.”
“What?”
Nat sighs. “It’s 1400. At least wait until 1700.”
“It’s five-o’clock somewhere,” he quotes at her.
She gives him a long look and then just shakes her head.
“Суколик.” Tasha sighs. “You two are going to be enormous pains in my ass until you’re married and living together, aren’t you,” she says, and Clint snorts his coffee again.