Chapter Text
Now that Taako, Merle, and Magnus were out of the room, they took a moment to catch their breath. Taako bent over, breathing heavily, and Merle just collapsed on the ground, looking not unlike a starfish.
"We didn't, by the way," Taako said between breaths.
"What was that?" Magnus asked.
"Kill a purple worm," Taako explained. "You know, back in Refuge? The worm ended up outside the bubble with its babies. June was real happy about that."
"Oh yeah," Merle said. Then he frowned and sat up. "Wait, how did you know that?"
"Oh you know," Taako said shrugging, only now remembering that he was supposed to be a regular Bureau employee. "Word gets around pretty fast on the Moonbase. Must've heard it from someone."
After they caught their breath, the adventurers turned their attention to the room they just entered. This room was much larger than any of the rooms they'd been in so far. The door, before it had disappeared, was attatched to a massive featureless cylinder. The only notable feature on the cylinder was a label on the exterior that read "Cam Magnus Merle TaakoKoko"
As they looked around, they noticed many more cylinders—38 to be exact—lining the edge of the cavernous room, each having their own labels with different names on them. A large spiral staircase led to a raised central platform about twenty feet above the ground. With little else to do, the party made their way toward the staircase.
"Hey, uh, listen," Cam said. Taako and the others turned to look at where he was levitating behind them. "I'm pretty sure you guys are gonna get out of here, so I'm gonna part ways with you now."
"What?" Magnus asked.
"It's like I said, Magnus, I'm a living disembodied head. I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm alive is because Wonderland is keeping me alive, eternally, just to pump more suffering out of me. So if I leave this place with y'all, I'm toast."
"Wait so, you'd rather—" Magnus started, still not understanding Cam's logic. "So let me get this straight. You'd rather stay in here, as a head, forever, in a place that feeds on suffering, rather than go with us and be free from this?"
"To be free from this place that is keeping me alive. Yeah, that doesn't sound good either, Magnus."
Taako furrowed his eyebrows. "Then why did you come with us and make us take all those extra punishments?" He asked.
"I thought I could help y'all get out of here—and I did!" Cam said.
Taako frowned. "I mean, you cast a spell. Two."
"Yeah, I provided some sage guidance! Look, let's not split hairs—"
"I turned into a T-Rex!" Taako shouted, outraged.
"Um, hey Taako? Maybe chill?" Lup said in his mind. "What's wrong with you?"
"He didn't do anything," Taako thought. "Everything he told us we could have figured out on our own. In fact, we did figure it out on our own. He just ended up hurting us—me, Magnus and Merle—and now he just dips? What was the point?"
"Taako!" Lup scolded. "Cam's just like us. He just wants to survive. He thought he could help us, and if Krav, Barry, and I weren't here and you didn't have your memories, his knowledge would have helped you all! And besides, all we did was theorize. Cam was able to confirm those theories. He was scared, and saw you as a way to save him. It's only now that he realized that's not what he wants."
Taako was silent for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and thought, "You're right, Lup. I—I didn't think of that. Thank the gods you're here. Remember the good day I gave you? And at dinner, when you told me you were gonna become a lich?"
"Of course I do, silly," Lup said. "What about it?"
"You said I was your heart," Taako said. "Well, if that's true, then you must be my conscience."
"Well, I am a voice in your head that tells you what to do," Lup joked. Taako smiled.
"I should say something. Apologize," Taako thought. He looked up, but Cam was already long gone. Merle and Magnus were making their way toward the stairs. Taako rushed to join them.
The stairs led to a second story of the room, a large and circular platform. A catwalk stretched across the platform, and mannequins dressed in high fashion outfits were posed to be the audience. The mannequins in unison turned to look at the adventurers, and then slowly, they raised their arms to point to where a spotlight illuminated the runway.
Magnus nudged Taako gently. Taako looked at him and Magnus jerked his head toward the runway.
"I don't—I don't understand," Taako said, feigning confusion. "No, I'm kinda freaked out. What's going on?" He asked.
"Hey Lulu, which outfit should I go with: the suit I wore at the performance in Legato, or the dress from the fantasy prom in cycle sixty-something?" Taako asked.
"Well, you can't go wrong with a dress with so much glitter that it outshines the sun, but that suit did have a really nice fit. What if instead of those, you went with that blouse you always stole from me?" Lup said.
"Uh, I think you need to get up there and strut," Magnus explained.
"I think it's a fashion show?" Merle said, though he didn't sound sure of himself.
"I'm not a piece of meat," Taako said, acting insulted. "You mean that blouse that you stole from my closet and I had to steal back constantly. No, it's too subtle for something like this."
"This is what you were born to do, Koko!" Magnus shouted.
"No, I mean I'm not a model, I'm a wizard and a chef," Taako said incredulously. "I don't understand what I'm being asked to do here."
Magnus nodded toward the runway and said "I think you need to bootytootch—"
"Why?" Taako asked. "The things you're saying make no sense! I'm not just gonna strut across a catwalk for your delight!"
"Hey Ghost Rider, what do you think Taako looks best in?" Lup asked.
"Well, I—" Kravitz started, then hesitated. What does Taako look best in? "I mean, I think Taako looks amazing in everything—"
"Aww," Taako thought. "Thanks, babe."
"Grossarooni," Lup said.
Kravitz finished his thought. "—But I'm quite fond of this short purple skirt he has. Do you remember, dear? You wore it when we met in your apartment that first time."
Taako smirked. "Yeah, I remember that. Hang on, I know the outfit I'm gonna go with."
The mannequins pulled their arms back and pointed more forcefully at the runway. With that, Taako casted a spell on himself and his entire outfit transformed.
Taako was now wearing a short mauve skirt with fishnet stockings and glittering black high-heeled boots. His tattered, dirty top transformed into a clean white cotton blouse that moved as though there was a gentle breeze in the room. Taako touched his cloak and it changed into a dark blue fabric with silver trim. He took off his hat and pulled his hair out of his braid. As he brushed it with his fingers, his hair fell into loose curls. Finally, he shook his hat and it changed to match his cloak, dark blue and silver, with glittering gems hanging from the brim.
With a final prestidigitation to shoot sparks from his hands, Taako started strutting down the runway, posing all along the way. With every pose, Taako flashed another shower of sparks to accentuate his radiance.
Needless to say, the audience was losing their minds.
When Taako finally made his way to the end of the catwalk, he turned on his heel, flipped his hair, and struck a final pose before he waited for Magnus and Merle.
Merle stepped forward, and it was already apparent that Kravitz, along with Taako and Lup, were going to hate this.
Merle pulled his shirt off one shoulder and made intense eye contact with the crowd in a manner that he might describe as "seductive," although Kravitz would describe it as "repugnant." Then Merle proceeded to waddle clumsily down the rest of the runway to stand next to Taako.
Magnus pulled out his Chance Lance and started to twirl it and throw it in the air, which was impressive if you didn't look too closely and notice that he would toss the Chance Lance up in the air and it would shoot straight back to his hands every time he fumbled—which was quite a lot.
When Magnus took his place next to his friends, a voice rang throughout the room.
"You did it!" Edward said, as though he didn't believe what he was saying. "I don't know how, but you did it!"
Lydia spoke next. "Very few people have stood where you're standing now, having conquered suffering itself to claim their prize. Give them a hand, folks!" The crowd of mannequins rose to give the adventurers a standing ovation.
"This resolve," Edward said when the crowd died down, "this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves. Do you know who you three remind me of?"
"Who?" Merle asked.
"Us!" Edward exclaimed, earning a disgusted sound from Magnus.
"There were three of us, once, lifetimes ago," Lydia started. "We had another sibling, a younger brother—Keats. It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us. But Keats, well, Keats got sick. And he wouldn't get better. So Edward and I joined a necromantic circle to try and save him."
Edward continued. "We were unsuccessful, but we found joy in our new-found powers. That's when we became liches and managed to sustain ourselves with our love for our dear Keats and each other. But when that became insufficient, we discovered ways of using other people's emotions to sustain ourselves. Emotion is so powerful, and practical. That's how we discovered that, well, suffering's much more effective than love."
Lup's soul was vibrating in anger. As a lich who used love to sustain herself, in a way, Edward was calling her weak. Kravitz would have been impressed she didn't exit Taako's body to tear Edward and Lydia apart, but he was preoccupied with his memories.
Kravitz knew Edward and Lydia's story; knew it well, in fact, though it wasn't from their perspective. It was long ago, but Kravitz still remembered the night he met Keats.