Chapter Text
Part of the deal Kenny made with Butters meant they had to stay out longer than usual. Before, they always made it home at sunset, but Butters suggested making some night visits to people when they were more likely to be home. By all accounts it made more sense, but it still sucked. They had more doors slam in their face than ever.
One particular evening they were on the bus, squished together with the evening crowd. Butters hugged the backpack in front of him on his lap and Kenny wished more than ever for a set of earbuds. They didn’t talk on the bus. Hardly anyone did. They all tuned themselves out with their own earbuds and looked out the window mindlessly.
They stopped at the corner of a gas station and a swaying man boarded the bus. As he made his way down the aisle, he stopped and eyed the missionaries suspiciously. He held onto a pole and slumped against it, still staring.
Finally he said, “Guess they got queers in that cult, huh.”
Butters immediately turned a bright shade of red and Kenny did, too, but his was out of anger instead of embarrassment. “Excuse me?” he retorted. Protocol said they were not to engage in behavior like this, but Kenny was never one for protocol.
“You and your boyfriend there. Spreading the word of Christ and your legs? Fucking Jesus types. He loves you in more ways than one.” His speech was slurred and his upper lip curled up into a sneer that shifted his features into something ten times more ugly than they were before.
Kenny made a move to stand up and get himself into a yelling match with the man but Butters held a hand out to keep him down. “It’s okay, Kenny. That’s just Satan talking through him.” He looked at the man. “Jesus loves you, too, you know. And… and he wants to be your friend if you’ll let him.”
The man roared with laughter. “Oh that’s rich! Fuck that religion. Ain’t never done a thing for me.”
“Our church is open to anyone and everyone, if you change your mind,” Butters said kindly.
Kenny just wanted to punch the guy.
The drunkard swayed a little as the bus stopped at a light, then he moved to a much closer pole. “You got them cock-sucking lips,” he said, leaning heavily toward Butters. Kenny could smell the alcohol and body odor radiating from his old coat. “Jesus ain’t what you’re sellin’ door to door after all is it?”
Butters gasped. Kenny snapped.
“Here,” Kenny spat, in lieu of making a fist. He unzipped the backpack on Butters’ lap and pulled out a Book of Mormon. “Here’s some light reading for you.” Then, in his anger, he shoved the book in the man’s chest. He didn’t push very hard, but the bus chose that moment to move again and with his equilibrium compromised, the man stumbled across the aisle and fell into the lap of a heavy-set older woman.
“Did you see that?!” the man roared. The woman shoved him off her with a dignified huff.
“You leave them good Jesus boys alone!” she said, hitting him on the side with her cane. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“They pushed ME.”
“Don’t you be playin’ that victim card on me,” the woman shrieked. “You’re gettin’ off at the last stop, do you hear me?”
Kenny’s eyes widened. He didn’t want some stranger to fight his battles for him. “That’s okay,” he said, standing up with such force that Butters couldn’t hold him down anymore. “We’ll get off on the next stop. Come on, Butters.”
“They even have queer nicknames for e—OWW.” The woman silenced him with another whack of her cane.
As the bus stopped, Kenny made a show of grabbing for Butters’ hand and even chanced a smirk at the drunk man as they exited the vehicle. Butters hastily muttered an apology and a blessing before Kenny pulled him off the bus the rest of the way.
Kenny didn’t even watch the bus pull away. He immediately slammed his fist into the walls of the bus stop and rested his head against the cool plastic. “I wanted to throw that Book of Mormon right at his /face!” he spat.
Butters placed a calming hand on Kenny’s shoulder. “That wouldn’t be Choosing the Right, Kenny.”
“I know but I couldn’t bitch him out the way I wanted to. I have about fifty different comebacks all lined up for him and I couldn’t a fucking word because of this damn uniform!” he wanted to pull off his Elder badge and toss it into the road for some unsuspecting car to run over.
“Don’t do that, Kenny! Spreading the gospel is a gift! We’re so lucky to be doing this!”
“Are we?” Kenny rounded on him. “Maybe I’m letting Satan get to me. I don’t know. But there’s so much I want to do and see and all I get to do is walk around, knock on doors, and stare at walls. What kind of life is this?”
“Humbling…. It’s supposed to humble us before Heavenly Father,” Butters said.
“I didn’t even want to do this!”
Butters’ eyes widened. “Wh…what?”
Kenny shut his eyes and waved it off. “No… forget it. Nevermind. Let’s just go home. We’re close enough to walk the rest of the way.”
Butters was quiet for much of the walk. It wasn’t until they turned onto their street that he finally spoke up. “I didn’t want to do this, either.”
Kenny coughed in surprise. Butters? Really? “Did your parents make you?”
Butters nodded. So it wasn’t that hard to figure out. “But I thought it was going to be an adventure. I wanted to see someplace new but…”
“But this place isn’t new,” Kenny said, understanding.
“No. It looks just like home.”
“Yeah… I know how you feel,” Kenny sighed, then he began to chuckle. “What a pair we are. No wonder we can’t get anyone to listen to us. Neither of us wants to be here.”
Butters began to giggle with Kenny. The way his face shone with his laughter made the anger that had been stewing in Kenny’s gut dissipate entirely. “Then what’s keeping us here?”
What indeed.
That night after they finished preparing for bed, Butters hesitated at his door.
“Kenny?”
“Mmhmm?” Kenny answered, already eyeing his bed with need. It had been a long day.
“I was thinking about… when you called me Butters earlier on the bus…”
“Yes,” Kenny answered with a sigh. He swiped a frustrated hand down his face, stretching out his features. “I didn’t mean to fuck up like that. Shoulda said Elder Stotch, right?”
“No um… it made me think. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you use my name. No one… no one uses my name. I’m Butters to everyone….” Butters’ voice trailed off.
Kenny stopped longing for his bed and turned to face Butters with a soft face. “So you want me to call you Leopold?”
“Well, well yeah,” Butters murmured, shrugging and not meeting Kenny’s eyes.
Kenny snorted. “I’m not calling you that.”
“What?”
Kenny held a fist out for Butters to bump. “I’ll call you Leo. It’s more badass. Like the Ninja Turtle.”
Butters smiled calmly but even the action began to glow a little. He bumped Kenny’s fist with his own. “A-alright. Goodnight, Kenny.”
“’Night, Leo.”
Once in his beloved bed, Kenny couldn’t sleep. What was stopping him from ending his mission and going home early? Surely they would understand, right? He wasn’t forced to continue with this for two years if he didn’t want to do it anymore, did he?
Every time his mind wandered it landed on Butters at the other end of the apartment. There was so much he didn’t know about his mission partner and he wanted to know more. Ever since Butters decided to lighten up at home, he was so much more fun to be around. They joked about things that had happened to them that day and played different card games to pass the time.
When they were assigned readings by the mission council, they got through them together by finding loopholes and questioned the passages together. Butters even began reading them in a funny voice just to make Kenny laugh.
Even the quiet nights when they stayed up reading weren’t so bad. They’d discovered little ‘Take a book, leave a book’ libraries where they snuck something fun to read. Butters as a mission partner was fun. If Kenny were stuck with anyone else, he surely would have died of boredom but as it turned out, both boys were used to being alone and without electronics. Kenny’s family couldn’t afford them and Butters’ parents were so strict.
Kenny knew if he went home, he’d miss Butters. He’d grown attached to his mission partner. Every time Butters’ face lit up, Kenny’s mood would instantly get better. He was so cute and innocent and genuine and so very different from Kenny that it was a wonder they got along at all. Maybe it was that old saying: opposites attract.
The thought made Kenny pause. Now that the thought crossed his mind, he knew it to be true.
Kenny liked Butters.
It wasn’t that big of a revelation, but once Kenny was aware of his feelings, everything about Butters began to change. Every touch, no matter how small, send jolts of electricity flowing from their point of contact directly to Kenny’s chest.
This wasn’t like his crush on Gary back home, or the pining he felt for celebrities with perfect bodies. This was something else.
Kenny found himself staring a little more than he should—sitting a little closer to Butters than he should. As far as he knew, Butters hadn’t picked up on it, yet.
On Sundays, during Sacrament meeting, they sat shoulder to shoulder in their designated pew, pretending to sing the hymns together and no one said a word about it. Sometimes during a Sacrament talk Kenny would nudge Butters’ toe with his own and they would share some kind of secret smile. Kenny looked forward to it every meeting.
One Sunday, as they were making their way to Gospel Principles, Tweek stopped them.
“Hey!” he said, one eye closing momentarily as his head jerked to the side. “Mom and Dad want to know if you want to come to our house for Family Night tomorrow night?”
Mondays were the only days they didn’t have to go around knocking on doors, which was nice. Kenny never thought he would look forward to Mondays so much. Most of the time he and Butters only went to the park and envied the people they saw playing Pokemon Go. They didn’t have to be in uniform, either, which made them blend in a little more. Sometimes a church family would take them out to eat, but so far no one had invited them over for Family Night.
“Sure!” Butters said happily. Tweek was easily one of their favorite members of the congregation. Jimmy Valmer was a close second. He was funny, but he was the son of the bishop, which made Kenny feel like he was talking to a grenade.
Kenny nodded in agreement. “Should we catch the bus over or…?”
“Dad can pick you up.”
Kenny breathed a sigh of relief. Any chance to avoid the bus was welcome. That and they would get a warm meal from the Tweaks which was always welcome.
Kenny and Butters spent that Monday in plain clothing running a few errands. They hit up the grocery store using the small care fund the Stotches sent. Kenny was an expert at stretching a dollar and since his family didn’t bother to send him anything, they needed to make Butters’ allowance go as far as it could.
Shopping with Butters was fun. He didn’t tell Kenny off for cracking jokes at all the brand names or making terrible puns. Even when Kenny held up a set of cantaloupes to his chest as breasts, Butters didn’t reprimand him. He only laughed.
It was easier to be themselves when they didn’t have the starched white shirt and uncomfortable black slacks.
Butters suggested they check out the library. They couldn’t get a library card, but they could always use the computers or read something new. Kenny used the time to catch up on what he was missing in the outside world. A lot seemed to happen when he wasn’t avidly paying attention.
As he sifted through the internet, it suddenly occurred to Kenny that he didn’t have to spend his Mondays idly watching paint dry. He hissed for Butters to come join him at the computer. He’d pulled up a website indicating all the things they could do in St. Louis.
“Look at this, Leo. This is the adventure we’re missing out on. We can do all of these things,” Kenny said, pointing at the screen. “We could see the Arch. Or go to the zoo. The zoo is /free/ Butters.”
“Free?” Butters croaked, reaching across the keyboard to the mouse. He scrolled upward on the article just to make sure. “Can we really go sight-seeing, Kenny?”
Kenny was pretty sure Butters had no idea how close he was. When he reached across Kenny like that, all it would take was a second of bad decision making and Kenny could have his arm around his waist and a very light Butters in his lap. He shook off the thought. It would be pointless to think of things like that. “There’s nothing saying we can’t. It’s not media. It’s just things. We should go.”
“Yeah….” Butters said, pulling away. “Maybe we can have fun after all.”
“What, you mean I’m not fun?” Kenny teased.
Butters’ cheeks pinked a little and he took a step back. “N-no! You’re fun! You make this mission bearable.”
“Do I, now?” Kenny’s teasing voice pushed even further. This was a fun development.
“Well, well if I have to be stuck doing this instead of… whatever else. Then I’m glad I got stuck doing it with you, Kenny.”
Butters wasn’t looking at him, but Kenny could practically feel the heat coming off his face. “The feeling’s mutual man. I haven’t left yet because I like hanging out with you.”
Finally Butters turned to face him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t an admission, but both missionaries shared a smile. The moment hung around them like snow that refused to fall straight down. Butters’ bright blue eyes were easy to get lost in, so Kenny forced himself to look away to make things easier. Unfortunately, it was February, now, and the library had decorated for Valentine’s day. The red paper hearts did nothing but mock him the whole time.
Their phone buzzed. Butters jumped. “Oh hamburgers. That’s the alarm. We gotta get home, Kenny. Brother Tweak is picking us up soon.”
The Tweak’s house wasn’t too big or too little, but it felt homey enough. Their living room was wide and their large L-shaped couch felt like it could accommodate a steady flow of guests despite it being just the three of them.
Tweek had also invited someone over, a tall boy in a blue hoodie with jet black hair who was playing on his phone.
“Oh man! You’re here!” Tweek interjected when his father came home with the missionaries. “I was so worried something would have happened to you! Like a car crash or getting stopped by those firemen who ask for money on the side of the road or…”
“Relax, Tweek,” his father said. “They were in good hands.” He turned to Kenny and Butters. “Can I get you boys anything?”
“Some water?” Butters asked.
As Brother Tweak disappeared into the kitchen, Tweek motioned for them to come inside. “You can sit anywhere I guess. This is um, Craig. He’s a friend from school.”
Craig hardly looked up from his phone but he waved.
“Hey, Craig!” Butters said cheerfully.
Craig finally looked up and Kenny nearly gasped at how piercing his eyes were. Craig looked from Tweek and back to Butters and Kenny. “It’s invasion of the blondes, I guess.”
Kenny snorted. Craig’s deadpan voice came as a relief compared to all the boisterous and happy voices he was used to hearing from the members of the church. Was Craig a part of the church? Kenny hadn’t ever seen him at the ward, before.
Tweek answered the unasked question for him. “Craig’s my um…. My best friend. He’s not –argh! --in the church or anything. He just likes coming to these things.”
Craig made a noncommittal shrug and went back to playing on his phone. “It’s only because Mrs. Tweak makes a mean lasagna.”
Brother Tweak emerged from the kitchen with two glasses of water for Kenny and Butters. Kenny took his gratefully. “Dinner’s just cooling off, boys.
“Thank you for inviting us, Brother Tweak,” Butters offered, always the one to remember his manners first.
“It’s our pleasure, boys. Always happy to help out the missionaries when we can. You boys have a preference in what game we play tonight?” said Brother Tweak.
“Not charades!” Tweek shouted immediately.
Butters lit up. “Oh, I love charades!”
Craig took one look at him and deadpanned. “No.”
Kenny laughed. He couldn’t help it. As much as he wanted to see Craig act out some kind of movie, he didn’t want to do any of that, either. “What are our other options.”
“Well let’s see,” Brother Tweak moved to a hall closet and opened it like a refrigerator, scanning its contents. “We have Ticket to Ride, Pandemic, Scrabble, Taboo… what sounds good?”
“I’ve never played any of those before,” Kenny admitted.
“What? Never?” Butters turned to him, astonished. “Pandemic is so fun. You get to cure the world of disease and you work collectively as a team. You’re missing out!”
Kenny didn’t have to be told how much he was missing out on board games. “Then let’s play Pandemic.”
“Pandemic it is,” Brother Tweak chirped, pulling out the game. “Tweek, why don’t you familiarize the Elders with the rules while I check on that lasagna?”
“Me? Argh! That’s too much pressure! What if I forget some?”
“It’s fine, Tweek,” Craig said, sitting up on the couch. “I got it.”
Craig gave them the most half-assed version of the rules possible, but Butters chipped in to fill in the missing pieces. Eventually Brother and Sister Tweak joined them by setting up a card table. After they eat got their slice of lasagna, they sat together and began to heal the world.
It was a fun game, actually, and the team effort involved meant no one had to gang up on anyone else. After they failed to rid the world of the viruses the first time around, they played until they won the game, the lasagna was eaten and too much time had passed.
While they cleaned up, Kenny excused himself to use the restroom. On his way, he couldn’t help but notice the pictures the Tweaks had up in their home. Tweek looked disheveled and out of place in all of his school pictures, causing Kenny to laugh a little to himself. They looked like they had a nice home.
But one picture stood out to him. Tweek stood with his mother and father in front of a building, a coffee shop, Kenny could tell because of the large cup of coffee on the sign. The front said, “Tweak Bros.” Kenny’s eyes widened. The Tweaks once owned a coffee shop? Coffee was forbidden by the Words of Wisdom. Then why keep this picture around?
Rather than dwell on it, Kenny quickly used the restroom but when he stepped out, Tweek was out there. “Sorry man,” Kenny said, stepping to the side. “You need to go?”
“No. Just… worried you got lost.”
Kenny chuckled. “No need to worry, man. I’m good. It’s always the second door on the left for some reason. Can’t possibly get lost.”
Tweek smiled.
“Oh hey, while you’re here. Can I ask about this?” Kenny pointed to the photograph of the coffee shop.
Tweek turned to face the picture. “Oh yeah… my dad used to run a coffee shop before we were converted. He gave up everything to join the church. I…”
He stopped and began to pull at his shirt.
“I—ahh!—nevermind. I shouldn’t be talking to you about this!”
“Dude, relax,” Kenny replied softly. “I’m like the worst missionary ever. I haven’t even made it through one Plan of Salvation.”
But Tweek shook his head. “No, I shouldn’t say anything. We should go back.”
Confused, Kenny agreed. It wasn’t his place to pry, no matter how interesting it appeared to him. They passed Craig in the hallway and Craig brushed shoulders with Tweek in a way that didn’t look like an accident at all. He had his head looking down at his phone, but Kenny saw his eyes shifted discreetly toward Tweek. How… interesting. Tweek blushed and fidgeted in front of him and Kenny couldn’t help but dart his eyes back and forth between the two of them.
“I’ll be in your room, Tweek,” Craig said coolly. He raised his hand for a fist bump with Kenny. “It was good meeting you, dude. You’re not so bad.”
“Yeah? You’re a good strategist in Pandemic.”
Craig just shrugged and continued down the hallway. When Tweek and Kenny made it back to the living room, Butters was happily munching on a plate of cookies. He looked so content it made Kenny’s heart swell.
“Are you ready for the lesson?” Sister Tweak asked hopefully. Kenny deflated. They still had to do that? Wasn’t it late?
It seemed he didn’t have a choice. With a sigh, he sat down on the couch as Brother Tweak got out the Book of Mormon. “Today we look at the second book of Nephi…”
Kenny’s eyes were crossing by the end of the night. The only thing that kept him awake was the way Butters’ let kept touching his own and Butters would freak out about it and pull away only to gravitate toward Kenny’s leg again. It was amusing to watch and Kenny shuffled toward Butters a fraction of an inch just to make it happen more often.
Somehow, Tweek was nominated to say the closing prayer and it was single-handedly one of the most beautiful prayers Kenny had ever heard.
“You want me to pray? Gah! That’s too much pressure!”
“This is just our home, Tweek. It’s not in front of the congregation.”
“Oh man. Oh jeez. Okay. Um. Dear Heavenly Father. Thank you for making me say this prayer. Please help me to say this prayer. I uh… I saythesethingsinthenameofJesusAmen.”
Tweek’s eyes were shut the entire time and when he opened one to peek out, he caught Kenny’s eye and without thinking he winked. Tweek blushed and closed his eye again.
“I think it’s time I took you two boys home,” Brother Tweak said, standing up and stretching, perhaps a little annoyed at his son’s lack of substance in his prayer. Sister Tweak packed some leftover lasagna and cookies for them to take home and soon both Kenny and Butters were saying their goodbyes.
“That was fun,” Butters said later that evening when they were home. “The Tweaks are so fun. And Craig was really good at games! I wish I had a friend who came to Family Nights with me.”
“Aw, Leo, I would have come to your Family Nights.”
“That would have been nice, Kenny,” Butters said softly.
“We should ask to borrow some board games if they’ll let us,” Kenny offered. “Something to do.”
“Yeah, we could play Pandemic together. I bet you can cure faster with two people.”
They played rock-paper-scissors to determine who got to shower first and Kenny won. After he finished, he hid away in his room to give Butters some privacy. He stood in front of his mirror, this time wearing only a pair of boxers. When asked if he wanted to undergo his endowment ceremony before his mission he declined, saying he didn’t feel he was ready and launched into some BS about finding himself on his mission. Well here was his mission… and the Kenny he found wasn’t the Kenny he expected. He watched his reflection and practiced his smiles. The cheesier the better. He could hear Butters singing to himself in the shower—some song they learned in Primary.
“Jesus wants me for a sunBEAM!”
Kenny snorted, trying to hold in his laughter. Why did Butters have to be so cute? It was only then that his reflection in the mirror looked genuine, serene. He kept as quiet as he could just to hear Butters finish the song.
Later, he made his way to his bed to flip through a graphic novel he snuck in his luggage.
Kenny didn’t know how long he’d been engrossed in his novel before there was a knock on the door. He jumped but didn’t set down his book. There was no way he could hide it anyway, and he doubted Butters would turn him in for reading it. Church-approved-media his ass.
“Um… Ken? I’m sorry. Kenny?”
“What’s up, man?”
Slowly Kenny’s door opened to show Butters looking awkward in his sacred garments. Of course Butters would have undergone the endowment ceremony. Kenny couldn’t imagine being confined to such awkward-looking clothes.
Not to mention in their hastiness to be chaste and modest, they didn’t do a very good job. They were white and Butters was damp.
Still, Kenny cleared his throat and tried to look interested in what Butters was saying. Something about Tweek’s house…
“….and I was thinking about Craig and how he was allowed to be at Tweek’s house but he didn’t have to be a part of the lesson. We could do that with other families, you know? If not everyone is on board, they can leave the room and… and we could do it that way.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” Kenny sat up in his bed, his cover falling from him and exposing his bare shoulders and torso. Butters noticed and hastily looked away.
“Y-you don’t wear temple garments?”
“Never got endowed.” Heh.
“Oh, well, you can do that at the temple here if you want. We could make a day of it. You and me. I can help walk you through the ceremony.” Butters eyes kept darting up at Kenny and pulling away.
Kenny shook his head and may have purposely lounged a bit on the bed just to see what kind of reaction he could pull from his mission partner. “That’s okay, Leo. I’m good with my own underwear for now.”
“Well, okay…”
“Goodnight, Leo.” Kenny gave him his best knowing grin. Butters kept looking at him from behind his lashes until he excused himself and shut the door behind him. Kenny put his face to his graphic novel just to hide the beaming smile on his face.
Oh, Butters just made things very interesting.