Chapter Text
Gone were the days of Eren and Levi making love, when they took their sweet time appreciating each other, leaving sweet kisses all over exposed skin, slowly and gently rocking into each other. Making sure not to hurt, not to leave any mark that would be unwanted. Gone were the days when they worshipped and loved and cared about the other’s comfort.
Now… Now they were too angry for that. Too angry at each other, too angry at themselves, too angry at the world. So they took it all out on each other; hurting and getting hurt in turn, they dealt with the furious energy in their own way. Ripping each other apart while they fucked with abandon, leaving bloody scratches and deep bites, growling and snarling instead of moaning and sighing their ‘I love you’s.
Dealing with all the shit they ended up in their own way. A painful slam against a wall instead of ‘What did we fight for all these years?’ Torn clothes instead of ‘Why did we have to go into that basement?’ Broken bed frame instead of ‘Fucking talk to me, Eren, why are you so far away?’
Not being able to talk, they just fucked it all out now, asking questions and giving answers with their bodies; letting go of all the frustration and pain. Give and take; hurt and get hurt. It was what they needed. How they worked, the only way to deal.
The only way to communicate they had left, the only time when Levi felt like Eren was there . The only time when he looked alive anymore was when Levi held him down, one hand gripping Eren’s hip so hard it bruised while he fucked him, harder and deeper than a normal person should be able to take, the other hand tangled in Eren’s hair.
Levi hated that hair. That long hair that was just another sign of how Eren was slipping away. Sign he didn’t give a fuck about himself anymore. So Levi pulled at it, tugged at it painfully whenever he could, as if ripping it out would bring Eren back. As if getting rid of it would make them all go back, back to the times when everything was simple.
Before Shiganshina, before finding out about the word and how absolutely fucked they were. When they just flew around cutting titans up without care or a single thought about who these people used to be.
Just thinking about it made Levi even angrier.
So he sank into Eren anew, the both of them trying to lose themselves in each other. Trying to stop thinking, trying to sort everything out, trying to forget. Even if just for a little while longer, they screamed without a sound. Screamed over the unfairness of it all, screamed for all the lives lost in the past and the future, they screamed in a language only the two of them understood.
However, no matter how loud they screamed, their world continued to fall apart, not giving them a chance to stop it.
Until it fell apart completely.