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Chapter Text

Rey
“I’m the bigger person, I have to be the bigger person. This weekend will bring closure and I will finally have some peace” Rey told herself before leaving for the airport, standing nervously by her front door suitcase in hand.
She hated traveling for anything other than work, traveling for work meant that you knew where you were going, and you knew what you were doing. Traveling for pleasure meant that you knew where you were going but not knowing what to do, going without a sense of direction always freaked Rey out. And then traveling for obligation was similar to traveling for work but where you are going is a dread. Rey would try to put her insecurities and fears away just so she can move on with her future, it’s been 3 years since the incident and she was ready to get to the airport and travel to get the closure she desperately needs. She turned and left her house so fast she almost forgot to lock the door. Quickly getting into the Taxi she called earlier, “Crait Airport please”.

Kylo Ren
Kylo sat on his bed checking his email and half heartedly listening to the news he had on the tv. His suit case was packed, and he was physically ready to leave but he couldn’t quite bring himself to getting off his bed. He was dreading this weekend, why did he have to travel for this. He hated traveling to see others and he hated when it became an obligation. But he had no choice in the matter, if he didn’t go he would be considered more of a social outcast than he already made himself to be.
The news was boring him, and his emails were frustrating him. He wished he could have blamed work for not allowing him to go this weekend but his workload this weekend was surprisingly light. He turned off his tv and threw his remote over to the other side of his bed, laying back on his bed in one last attempt to try and conjure up a reason to stay home. When he couldn’t find one he got up and slowly made his way to the front door of his home with his suit case. Not ready for the weekend, he got into the back of the taxi waiting that was waiting for him, “Crait Airport”.

Chapter Text

Rey
Standing in the tiny Crait airport she couldn’t help but people watch. Many people were leaving which honestly was the best decision. Crait was a small town in Northern California, not too much to do unless you are under the age of 10 or over the age of 30. Many people left Crait as soon as they turned 18 to start life somewhere new, but almost all came crawling back. That’s what happened to Rey at least. Now she was going to face the reason why she had come crawling back to Crait 3 years ago, heart was shattered, and her bank account emptied. She wasn’t going to let her past define herself anymore, she was going to move on after this weekend. Make sure that her life can really be her own now.
As she was lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice the 6’ 2” man come up to stand next to her.
“Do you know if the Millennium Falcon Express is on time to Jakku?” The dark giant asked her, drawing her out of her memories with a jolt. His deep voice shocking and awakening something inside her.
“It says it is, on the wall over there it says that it should be on time,” Rey stated pointing at the wall of arrivals and departures, “also online the reviews for this airline are very good. I found one of the reviews very helpful, a RoseTico17, we ended up emailing about this airline for more than a week.” She rambled on as the dark giants’ eyes glazed over, her voice getting quieter with each passing word. Her face started feeling hot and she knew that she was blushing.
“um, thanks.” The giant said as he stepped forward.
“Oh, I see what you’re doing.” Rey said huffing an exacerbated breath
“What did I do?” the dark stranger replied in a confused tone.
“I see what you did. You came over to make small talk just, so you can move forward in line. You use whatever charm you have to make me think oh he was making conversation to be nice and then I will forget that you moved in front go me in line.” Rey said as she looked up at this man’s face, their height difference between them staggering. His face was classically handsome except for the beauty marks that covered his face like constellations in the sky and his nose was large but fit the rest of his proportions well. His dark chocolate eyes poured down into hers, leaving her with an uneasy feeling. She usually was able to read people just by looking into their eyes, but this man’s eyes gave her no inkling of what his thoughts were. His royal black hair cascaded around his face just tickling the top of his shoulders. And on the left side of his face there was a scar that reached from above his eyebrow to just below his jugular, it was slightly faded on the edges, but the line was a deep red. He was dressed in a black button-down shirt underneath a black sports coat accompanied by dark blue jeans and black oxford shoes, he didn’t look like he belonged on a flight going to Jakku maybe Alderaan but not Jakku.
“Untrue” He responded with a huff, while taking another step forward.
“Oh my God! You just did it again! This is like watching a master at work in his Jedi Temple.” Rey stated annoyance thick in her tone.
“Here’s what happened. I came to my gate hoping my flight was on time. I then attempted to start a short conversation to get the information I wanted from another passenger, where you revealed the tip of the iceberg of your tendencies and I was forced to take a step forward to escape the vortex” the guy responded with anger creeping into his voice every couple word’s, while taking another step forward.
“Oh. My. God. Again?” Rey exclaimed
“Now you are making a conspiracy theory about me making some sort of Empire land grab in order to secure a spot on an eight-seat express plane?” he responded, his tone getting more frustrated by the syllable
“If I’m wrong than step behind me instead of in front of me.” She stated in a matter of fact voice. Daring this man to prove her theory wrong.
“No, because that would mean going past you again.” He responded in a cool even voice.
The way he was able to change his tone of voice in a matter of seconds surprised Rey, she was tired of whatever game this man was playing with her.
“I see. You know what? 3 years ago, I would have said something trite like, ‘Chivalry is dead.’ But this is worse than unchivalrous. You are part of a world that no longer has any idea how to behave itself. In fact, I draw a straight line between people like you and to investment bankers to politicians to terrorists. You basically all have the same contempt for decency and rules and any manners. And’s what’s funny is there’s no way you can board first because the only way you could board first is if you had a special need. Do you have a special need?”
“Yes. I need to be over there.” He responded by pointing to a window by the front gate and walking that way.
Rey scoffed at this man’s reaction to her comments. She felt completely justified in her response to him trying to cut in front of her just, so he could board a small plane first. This was the type of man she had come to loath over her years of failed relationships, the man who knew that he could get away with anything. Not just because he was charming or good looking but by establishing dominance by using his height in any situation. Rey had put up with those men for far too long that she had created a wall and a bullshit detector when it came to his type.
Even as he walked away Rey couldn’t help but glance at how perfect his arms filled out the sports coat or how his ass fit perfectly in his well-tailored jeans. As he walked away the last thought she had of him was of how perfect his body would look naked in her bed.

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren

Who did this woman think she was? Accusing him of trying to advance in line by talking to her for a minute or two, which in complete honesty he was doing. But to call him out and then to try and provoke him into some sort of argument in the middle of the waiting area for a small plane, she had some nerve. He ended up at the end of the line, the short woman who yelled at him was at the front of the line. No surprise there.

This woman affected him in ways he couldn’t explain, when he walked into the gate for his flight he saw her and was struck. She was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, she was about 5’7” with an athletic build. Her auburn hair reached past her shoulders, she kept half of it up in a small bun and the rest down in beautiful waves. Her hazel eyes were big and full of inquisition when she looked up at him, her face was covered with light freckles she was the type of beautiful that was effortless. She was wearing a white sleeveless shirt with tan pants and brown knee-high boots.

As he boarded the Millennium Falcon Express at the back of the plane, his head glanced into the plane he says the woman who yelled at him and an empty seat next to her…the only empty seat left. Sighing he walked over and sat next to her.

“Fantastic,” He stated sarcastically. Knowing not what would normally have been a 2-and-a-half-hour flight will turn into eternity “Anybody want to trade seats? It’s great back here”

“You’re being ridiculous.” The brunette muttered under her breath but loud enough so that Kylo heard her.

Kylo too his seat next to the woman he had just argued with not even an hour beforehand, mentally preparing himself to be ready for another sparing match with this woman.

After a few awkward seconds of silence, he decided to bite the bullet.

“What brings you to Jakku?”

“You don’t have to.” She replied while shaking her head and keeping her eyes on the seat in front of her.

“What?” he responded slightly surprised by her lack of conversation now that they were sitting next to each other on the tarmac instead of arguing inside the gate terminal.

“Talk. Honestly, I’d be happier if you didn’t.” She turned her head slightly to look him in the eyes, the hazel eyes he had become entranced with.

“Fine.” Almost feeling defeated, he turned away to look around the small cabin.
After a few more seconds of silence, in a quiet voice she responded, “I’m going to an outpost called Unkar Plutt’s.”

“It’s actually a small town not an outpost named after it’s original owner Unkar Plutt’s,” He responded with disdain knowing that that is also where he was going for the weekend. “Whatever. I hope it’s a big place”

“It isn’t” With the same intense disdain in her voice too.

“If I see you at a restaurant, I’ll go to another restaurant” Kylo offered while looking her in the eyes, secretly he had a sliver of hope maybe they could see each other again, in a less intense situation.

“I’m not going to be in any restaurants.” Her voice lacking any type of enthusiasm.

“Why? Are you checking into a mental institution?” He said half-jokingly, his tone staying flat as per usual.

She turned and gave him an annoyed look, “I’m going to that most presumptuous of all things, a destination wedding.”

With the last two words catching him off guard, he quickly turned his body to look at this woman in the face to make sure he heard her right. “Please don’t tell me it’s Poe and Finn’s.”

She turned her body to look at him in the face and quickly responded, “How many weddings can there possibly be on any given day in Unkar Platt’s, Jakku?”

“I was praying for two.” He responded turning to face forward again, his hands absent mindedly playing with the sleeves of his coat.

“And I was blaming Satan for my seat assignment when it was just Poe’s assistant.” She said still staring at him, he noticed from the corner of his eye.

“How do you know the esteemed Poe?” He responded slowly turning his head to face her again.

“I was engaged to him four years ago.” She responded looking down at her hands which were now playing with the pants leg.

“Oh, my God you’re Rey.” He responded no longer trying to hide his emotions, disbelief oozed through his permanent mask he wore on his face. His voice giving into his astonishment.

“Why, how do you know him? She snapped her head back to look at him and to stare at him directly in the eyes, he knew now that she could read every thought and emotions his eyes were no longer holding back.

“He and I have the same father.” He said, trying to return to his monotone voice, and horribly failing at.

“Holy Shit, you’re Kylo?” She looked him over again as if seeing him for the first time, then with a look of disgust she responded “Oh, you’re even worse than he said.”

“You too.” He said hoping she would take some offense to this statement.

They both groan at the same time, as the planes door closes. Both trapped together in this plane and for the next three days

Chapter Text

Rey
The two-and-a-half-hour flight to Jakku felt like an eternity, after meeting the infamous Kylo that Poe had always told her about and had begged her to steer clear from him. Here they were sitting next to each other on a hellish plane ride to the see the marriage of the one singular person that tied them together. Rey had heard stories about Kylo’s escapades and dishonorable deeds he had committed against his family, she never thought she would actually meet him and never under these circumstances.

As the unlikely pair exited the airplane and made their way through the airport all she could think of were the stories Poe had told her from their time together, she was wondering if they were true or if they were lies, like the ones Poe used to fill her head with.

When they reached the arrival and departure drop off and pick up the car line was deserted, she almost expected to see a tumble weed go rolling past the unhappy pair.

“There’s supposed to be a car.” Kylo remarked in his signature monotone voice.

“Our flight was early.” She responded, disappointed that the Millennium Falcon Express was true to their online reviews.

“Really? It seemed so long.” Kylo smirked while heading over to the benches that faced the empty car line.

Rey followed his lead keeping a few steps behind him so that he wouldn’t think she was following him. When Kylo sat down on the bench to the right she sat on the bench to the left, not wanting to sit next to the man she had heard so many terrible stories about.

After 5 minutes of uncomfortable silence between the two, she had to break the tension anyway she could.

“So how much do you know about what happened between me and Poe?” She asked, trying to act as nonchalant as she could.

“I know that he broke off your engagement five weeks before the wedding. And now I know why.” He said while facing forward, not giving off any emotion in his body language.

“He said some shit about you.” She responded hoping to peel some emotion from this almost robot-like man.

“Like what?” He said quickly, turning to look at her.

Finally, some kind of emotional response other than anger, Rey thought to herself. “Doesn’t matter.” She turned to look at him and gave him her best blasé demeanor and tone.

“Don’t do that, don’t dangle an injurious tidbit and then snatch it away.” He responded, anger starting to seek through his voice again.

She was enjoying playing with him, “Or what, I’ll die alone?”, she replied in a sarcastic tone.

“Poe is a panhandling piece of garbage, and you’re better off without him. Which is saying something, considering how bad off you are. Just pity groom, whoever he is.” Kylo responded, his tone starting off angry and then returning to monotone.

Rey was surprised by his words, she had always thought that Kylo was the one who had caused the strife in his and Poe’s relationship. She wanted to know more about him and why he never met the future groom.

“You haven’t met him?” she asked.

“Just like I never met you. I stay as far away from Poe as I can. My mother insisted I turn up for this shit show, otherwise, I wouldn’t be meeting you now.” He responded, turning his head to focus on the still empty car line in front of them.

“Isn’t that nice to think about?” She responded, also turning to stare at the empty space in front of them.

“She said it’s important to show up because if you show up, the worst they can say is that you’re horrendous which is subjective. But not showing up is objective.” He responded in a matter of fact tone.

“Well, you showed up.” Rey replied, still trying to grasp and understand what he had just revealed about his family life. She was beginning to question her first judgment on this stranger, maybe she was wrong.

“Why would you come to his wedding? He broke your heart, as I recall.” He asked, waking her from her thoughts.

“Shattered, yes.” She responded, not wanting to remember the pain she went through all those years ago.

“Didn’t you wind up suing him?” he inquired, turning his head to look at her again.

“Well, I needed to lash out. Plus, he cost me $32,000 in deposits.” She responded trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. And emotional damages as well, she thought.

“Did you win?” He responded.

“There was a settlement.” A hint of pride leaking through her voice as she turned to look at him.

“Did you feel better?”

Not wanting to deal with the severity of the question she replied with, “Look, I came because he invited me.”

“He only invited you because he wanted to act like a big person, not because he, in any way, wanted you to come.” he stated in his monotone voice.

“You think I wanted to come? I’m just trying to be the big person.” She replied, getting annoyed that he kept making valid points that she didn’t want to deal with.

“See, this only works if one of you actually is a big person.”

She was getting tired of his correct observations. “Well, also, I need closure.” She responded, hoping he wouldn’t have another witty remark to fire back at her.

“You don’t have closure? It was three years ago.” He replied no longer hiding inquisition in his voice.

“Do I strike you as someone who has closure?” she responded exasperated and sarcastically.

“He’s marrying someone else. That’s closure. It’s closed.” He responded to her as if she was stupid.

“Closed is not the same thing as closure.” She responded leaning over the arm rest of her bench.

Before either of them could respond an orange and white car arrived in the car line honking to get their attention. The two looks at the car and then at each other, Rey quickly realizing that she is going to have to be in another enclosed space with him. She quickly jumps up from her seat and grabs her suitcase, walking quickly to the car hoping that maybe if she gets in the car will just take her and leave Kylo behind.

As she places her suitcase in the trunk she hears Kylo mutter to no one in particular “Any chance they sent two cars?”

This is going to be a long weekend.

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren
Sitting in the backseat next to his half-brother’s ex-fiancé on their way to said brother’s wedding was a truly tension filled experience. The orange and white car that had picked them up, was driving painfully slow through Unkar Plutt. This small town looked like any other small town in Southern California, a few Mom and Pop stores and restaurants, a historic looking theater that was only showing one movie, and a town square with a statue of the towns founder Unkar Platt himself. Kylo hated it, of course Poe had decided to get married in some hick town. Poe had always been a sucker for the 1950’s-esque “Pure Americana” Nuclear Family Bullshit, maybe he had found a spouse to finally share that dream with. He quickly glanced over at his ride companion wondering if this would have been the wedding or life she had wanted with Poe. She didn’t seem like the Nuclear Family type, she was Nuclear that’s for sure. But still he couldn’t see her a suburban soccer mom making sure her family had a home cooked meal at the dinner table every night.

But before he could ask her why his brother had left her she asked him

“So, what do you do, Kylo? That is, when you’re not shining your light upon the world.”

Keeping his eyes forward he responded, “I run marketing for the First Order and associates.”

“The campaign financing corporation?” she asked, her head turning to face him.

“No, that’s a subsection of the company.” He replied, turning to look out the window. Watching as the suburban homes passed by, boring home after boring home passing his window.

“I voted for one of the people you backed last year, and he turned out to be a bust. Hux, he didn’t fulfill any of the campaign promises he had made.” She responded in an annoyed tone. Turning her head to face out her window.

“Again, a subsection of the company. Common error.” He turned to look at her.

“Is that the career you dreamed of? Handing out money to any politician by the fistful?” she inquired.

“Hugely successful company, extremely well-respected.” Trying to justify his boring, but well-paying job.

“It’s political and corporate brownnosing on a national scale.” She stated in a judging tone.

“International. And don’t sleep on campaign financing. Our country lives on people financially backing the politicians running for office.” He turned to reply to her before focusing out of his window again.

“Let me ask you this. Has there ever been a politician or campaign that wasn’t supported by your company?” she asked, still staring at him.

“I am not a part of that section of the corporation, so I wouldn’t know.” He was starting to get annoyed and wondering how much longer it would be before arriving at the hotel.

With a sigh he asked, “What do you do anyway?” still staring out the window.

“I prosecute companies and institutions for defective and ineffective mechanical work or actions.” She responded, turning to face straight ahead.

“You’re the ‘1-800 You Know Who to Call’ Lawyer?” He asked sarcastically, turning to face her. He wanted to see her reaction to his insult.

With a nervous laugh she responds with a “No.”

“You take whatever a random person has an issue with and accuse companies and businesses of issues that may or may not be true. You destroy lives and reputations for money.”

Her face full of disgust as she turns to face him. She scoffs, but he can see the wheels in her head turning trying to justify her career just like she had done to him earlier.

“No.” She says, a quiver in her voice now.

He knows his words have gotten under her skin, he continues, “Is that what you dreamed of? A career in Sleazy Lawyer ads and suing mechanics?”.

“I can’t remember dreaming.” She states in a quiet tone, turning to face out her window.

Kylo turns to look at her, surprised by this sudden open and personal answer he had brought out from her. How could she not remember a time of dreaming for the future? What was her past?

The car fills again with awkward silence, both staring outside their respective windows. Kylo sneaking glances of the woman he knew of but knew nothing about. What had turned her into this shell of a person? Was it his brother that had hurt her this deeply or was it something from even farther in her past? He sensed every so often her eyes staring at him, he wondered what she was thinking about him. If she was thinking about him. Did she want to know why he and his family had limited conversations and interactions over the years or was she just praying to get out of the car as quickly as humanly possible?

If it wasn’t for the awkward conversation they had just shared, he would have been nervous about driving in the same car with a beautiful woman seated next to him. Heck he still was, but for many other reasons now.

He continued to stare out the side windows thinking to himself, “If I ever had to live here, I would probably kill myself. But if I shared a life out here with Rey, I think I would enjoy it.”

Chapter Text

Rey
The ride her and Kylo shared revealed a light on what was previously unknown about him. All she had known before was that his family disapproved of his life and they tried but failed at getting him involved with theirs. Rey had always assumed the issue was solely on his side, that he had rejected his family, but after talking to him for the past few hours the image of the dastardly Kylo Ren she had been told of was breaking apart to show someone new. The ride was uneasy especially when debating over their chosen career paths, he worked for a corporation who gave out money to any politician they could no matter their values or political alignment. He had criticized her career path as well, yes, she did sue companies for defaults and issues with their manufacturing. No, it wasn’t the career she had dreamed of when she was younger, this wasn’t at all what she had hoped her life would look like in the future. Going to her ex-fiancé’s wedding with his half-brother in toe was not something a 7-year-old dreams of.

As the two arrived at Maz Kanata Castle Hotel, Rey was praying that their rooms were on opposite sides of the tiny hotel. She was surprised when Kylo let her check-in first at the front desk, maybe there’s an ounce of chivalry left in this dark knight. After getting her room key from the tiny white-haired woman with the biggest pair of glasses Rey had ever seen, she took of to her room. At a quick walking speed, Rey took the door out the lobby and down an outdoor ramp which connected to where the rooms were located.

After a few seconds she felt the same presence she had been feeling all morning behind her, she took a half peak behind her shoulder and saw that Kylo was following her to the same set of rooms. Entering the small building that held the rooms, Rey searched for room BB-8. When she arrived at the door, she saw a little plaque that read “We Are So Glad You Are Here Rey! Love Poe and Finn”, she wanted to puke. As she was about to slide her key card into her door Kylo was at her right side, again. He was in the room next to her, BB-9E, with a plaque on his door reading the same as hers but with the name Ben. His name was Ben? Why didn’t Poe ever tell her?

As she opened her door, she gave Kylo (Ben?) an unenthusiastic smile before entering and closing the door. Leaning back on the shut door, she took a deep breath and released it slowly “Finally some peace and quiet” she said out loud.

Kylo
Kylo entered his hotel room ready to forget, for at least an hour or two, where he was and why he was in such a small town. As he looked around the nicely sized hotel room he noticed a gift basket on the table. He wondered if Rey had gotten one too, wait why was he thinking of her? They had done nothing but argue all day and he was thinking of her now in a caring way. Putting the thought of the small brunette out of his head he decided to investigate the basket of goodies. Inside was some cheap candy and the itinerary for this already long weekend, he made a mental note to just skim it over.

Kylo went to the bedroom and removed his travel clothes, leaving him in his white undershirt and black boxers. He turned on the small tv and started watching the news. Unpacking the clothes, he would wear to the rehearsal dinner tonight and hanging up the rest he would use throughout the weekend.
He began thinking of what Rey might be wearing the rest of the weekend, would it be all tans and whites, or would she wear a pop of color. Lost in his thoughts he almost didn’t notice when the door next to his couch and across from his bed opened unexpectedly and Rey, the girl he had just been thinking about, walked through. She was wearing one of the white bathrobes, tied tightly around her body, that the hotel had supplied for them and nothing else. Her auburn hair cascading around her face, the top no longer pulled back into a small bun.

“I thought this was my closet.” Rey stammered, her face quickly turning a deep red. Her eyes trying to look anywhere other than at him standing in his underwear.

“Are you expecting a response of some kind?” he asked, praying that a blush wouldn’t rise over his face as well. She was enchanting, if they had met under any other circumstance he would love to take her to his bed and ravish her.

“No. Uh, I see now that there is a bolt on the door. So, we should use it.” She responded, still avoiding eye contact and trying not to look at him.

“Yep.” He responded quickly.

She turned and exited out the door she had just entered in a moment ago. He walked over to the door, hearing the bolt click on the other side of the door, he turned and made sure that his side was locked too.

Now he had to get ready for the shit show that he was going to enter.

Chapter Text

Rey

After seeing Kylo in his room in just an undershirt and boxers, she needed to take a minute to breathe. He was much better looking than Poe was, Kylo looked like the perfect mix between his mother and father. She had gotten to know his parent’s very well years ago, but now she was to see them again and it felt like they were strangers. Leia and Han were nice people, but they held their ‘perfect’ son Poe on such a high pedestal that they looked down on her as if they were dirt beneath their feet. Yes, she was an orphan who had to fight and crawl her way into college. She wanted to be a Mechanical Engineer originally until Poe stepped into her life and told her that becoming a lawyer would be better, that when they got married she would be able to raise their family by setting her own hours. What a load of bull.

She got ready for the Rehearsal Dinner which was at the Hotel, thanking God for no more enclosed spaces with the giant in the room next to her. She took a quick shower and blow dried and styled her hair into three buns on the back of her head. She unpacked the slate gray tea length dress with cap sleeves from her suitcase and put it on, she slipped into her black 2-inch heels and grabbed her small black clutch. She was physically ready for this rehearsal dinner, whether she was emotionally she would find out toon enough.

1 Hour Later

The meal was finished, and everyone was interacting with each other on the dance floor and by the bar, except for Kylo and Rey who were sat next to each other at a table in the back of the venue. Kylo was wearing a black suit with a white button-down shirt, a black tie and the same oxford black shoes from before. He knew what look fit him best and that’s how he liked to dress, he probably dressed like this for function rather than fashion.

“How’s your room?” Kylo asked keeping his eyes forward, attempting to make small talk for the first time that evening.

“I’m just sleeping there.” She responded, trying to get the though of him just in his boxers out of her head, “How’s yours?”

“I’ll let you know after I run a UV light over the sheets.” He said in his signature tone.

Was that his attempt at a joke she thought, “We really shouldn’t speak anymore.” She responded matching his tone and dry wit.

“If you think that’s best” he stated.

“Do you think Poe is trying to fix us up?” She turned to face him, the question had been gnawing at her since the car ride to the hotel.

“Even he is smarter than that.” He responded in a confused voice.

“I don’t know. I mean, same flight. Seated next to each other on the plane. Adjoining rooms. Seated next to each other here. You think that’s all just coincidence?” She asked, a sliver of hope in her voice.

“Poe has never had a thought about another human being.” He stated, the sliver of hope inside her starting to die with each word.

“So, we’re just the people you don’t know where to stick?” She asked.

“Might as well just stick us together” he turned to face her as he said it.

“I don’t want to be a person you don’t know where to stick. That is not the life I imagined for myself.” She turned to face the crowd at the bar, smiling and enjoying the wedding festivities, unlike her.

“I’m sure your next life will be better.” The sarcastic tone back in his voice. “Welp, here we go.”

Across the room Poe and Finn were making their way around the bar and dance floor. Seeing Poe for the first time, outside of a court room, took her breath away. He looked the same as before, barely aging a day since their break-up. His tousled brown locks perfectly styled to make it look like his hair fell that way naturally, his deepest brown eyes that could capture your heart from across the room. She could see the similarities between the half-brothers now that they were in the same room. Both had the same eyes and similar noses, but that’s where the resemblance stopped. Where Kylo was talk and broad, Poe was shorter but athletic. Holding onto Poe’s are was his fiancé Finn, Finn was a similar height to Poe with a bright and shining smile that lit up he mocha colored skin. They were a handsome couple, Rey was unnerved by how perfectly the couple looked together. Maybe she had never belonged with Poe in the first place they certainly never looked that good together. Poe was in a navy-blue suit with a white button-down shirt, an orange tie and black dress shoes. His fiancé Finn was wearing a tan blazer over a black button down with black dress slacks and tan dress shoes.

“So that’s him.” She stated to Kylo, wanting to know his opinion on the couple.

“Yep.” He said, looking unimpressed with his sibling’s choice in a partner.

“He looks the same as he used to.” Rey remarked.

“Plastic people don’t age.” Kylo said, still staring at the ‘happy’ couple.

“Well, I was hoping he had. I was hoping he’d be less attractive or on his way to obesity.” Rey said in a quiet voice. She was beginning to be thankful that Kylo was there with her, just so that she could share her petty comments with him and nothing more.

“Is this the first time you’ve seen him since the crushing ending?” he asked in a genuine voice, turning to look at her.

She nodded.

“Is it bad?”

“Yep.” She said, her voice even quieter than before, her hands absentmindedly playing with her napkin.

“As bad as you feared?”

“Yeah. Worse.” She saw him turn back to look at the couple, “How can this be the way the species is set up?”

“I’m sorry?” confusion in his voice and his head swiveling to look at her again.

“How can we be allowed to feel so much for people who don’t feel anything for us?” she asked him in a serious tone, looking up at him.

“You’re assuming that you’re normal, which is hilarious.” He used sarcasm to break the ice of her serious question.

“It’s incredibly cruel.” She responded not taking his bait to get off the serious topic.

“Well, look at it this way. For a time, you carved out a place in his life when there really shouldn’t have been one.” He said in a serious tone.

“That makes me a dipshit.” She responded.

“I agree. I was just humoring you.” Back to his sarcastic tone, that she starting to enjoy now. “The truth is, from puberty on in, we all should just be playing defense.”

“’On in’? On in to what?” she asked, confused by his remark.

“Death.” He said flatly.

“Oh god General on deck.” Rey turned to face the other way.

“So, you got to know Mom.” Kylo responded.

Rey was ready for a bottle of wine right now.

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren
Kylo’s relationship with his family was…to put it lightly . . . deeply troubled. He and his family hadn’t physically seen each other in years, his mother still called him once a month to remind him of all his failures and to make sure he was still alive. He hated his parents with every fiber of his being, but he hated Poe even more. Poe Dameron-Solo was an ass-hole. His parents always had a rocky relationship, they had met in the U.S. Air Force, his father Han Solo a pilot and his mother Leia Organa a General. She ran her unit with an iron fist, making sure everything was up to her standard. His father on the other hand just wanted to fly and spend time chasing women. When he was called into her office on the verge of being court marshalled for something stupid he did, but he denied, he used his charm and won her heart. He soon was discharged from the Airforce due to code violations so the General and her ‘fly boy’ started seeing each other. Han would travel every week to somewhere different, promising that he was faithful to her. They got married after two years of dating and had Ben (Kylo) 9 months later. All seemed well until Ben (Kylo) turned 4, a few days after his birthday he remembered his parents screaming at each other and his mother crying. A week after the argument Poe was brought to the Solo house and Ben had a new big brother who was 5 years old, Poe’s birth mother (Han’s side girl) had just died so he had to adopt Poe. At first Leia was angry and wouldn’t speak to the new child at all, but after a few weeks she began to like this new child, a few months later he was fully morphed into the new family. Han and Leia treated Poe to everything, making him feel like a king and doting on his every will. Kylo hated Poe because he stole his parents from him.

All the pain from his past bubbled up inside him when he saw his mother enters the room. She was wearing a midnight blue long sleeved and floor length dress with her signature low bun on the base of her neck. He was glad that Rey also had a similar reaction to her too.

“Oh god General on deck.” Rey turned to face the other way.

“So, you got to know Mom.” He responded amused that someone else also had disdain for his mother.

“Plenty well enough.” She replied still facing the wall.

“So, you met her twice.” He replied sarcastically.

Rey groaned and looked forward, “Ugh Han.” She turned and faced the wall again.

Kylo’s father Han had just entered the room bringing with him a giant man with long brown hair and a beard that matched. The man looked like a over aged biker who was still trying to follow the Grateful Dead on tour.

“Oh, this fucking guy.” Kylo hated the sight of his father, his dad who was old and gray still tried to look young and ‘hip’. He was wearing a leather jacket over a white dress shirt with black pants and black dress shoes.

“Who’s he with?” Rey asked, turning back around to face what could’ve been her in-laws.

“His best friend, Chewie, who he left mom for.” He said, staring at the odd three-some across the room.

Leia was standing with her ever perfect posture next to Chewie who looked like a wild mountain man and on the other side was Han the aging hipster.

“Han left your mother?” She asked, her voice hungry for details.

“’Left’ is not a strong enough word. Fled.” He responded, he was glad she was finally enjoying the shit show.

“For a friend?” she inquired.

“He would have left for a Porg. Anyway, leaving is leaving.” He responded, no longer wanting to talk about his parent’s messy lives.

“No, no. Leaving for another woman is awful, it’s horrible. But leaving to be with your friend is crazy.” She was reading into his parent’s lives more than he did.

“Mom would have been just as angry about a woman.” He responded not knowing where Rey was going with this train of thought.

“Yeah, but she would’ve used your father’s hornieness as an excuse for him wanting to be with another woman. But leaving your wife to be with your best friend, that’s something else.” Her thought process was unbelievable, how did she get all this information just by looking at the three people standing awkwardly together across the room. “But she and your father eventually made peace though, didn’t they?”

He didn’t have a response, he continued to stare at the three people across the way.

“Where’s your Uncle Luke?” Rey asked, not knowing the Pandora’s box she had just opened.

“Luke is on some unknown island, don’t know if he is dead or alive and honestly I don’t care.” He said curtly.

Rey looked surprised by his answer. “What?” she turned to face him now.

“I’m not a fan.” He said, still facing forward.

“Well, you’re not a fan of many people, in my sense.” She stated

“Well, this person gave me the scar on my face, so- “

“He did that to you?” She gasped and looked at his scar.

“He did. He said I was the embodiment of all his bad choices.” He said, turning to look at her.

“Did it hurt?” she asked

“Did it hurt? Is that a serious question? There’s a piece of sharp medal slicing open part of your face. Yes, it hurt. It hurt a great deal.” He said, his mind reliving that terrible night.

“What did you do?”

“I hit him.”

“You hit him? Why didn’t you run away from him?” her tone changing from inquisitive to confused.

“That didn’t occur to me. I was pissed off. He tried to cut me again, but he missed. I got the saber out of his hand, hit him in the face with the butt of the sword, and broke his orbital bone.”

“What did he do?” her voice frightened.

“He cried. Begged me to kill him. I wouldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t want to fuck up my life. I mean, any more than it already was. Turned out I didn’t have to kill him though, he ran away to some island that night. Never to be seen or heard from again.”

After a moment or two of silence Rey responded with, “It’s quite a family.”

Kylo almost laughed at that perfect summation of his family. “Nobody’s arguing” was all he could muster.

“What do you call the best friend you ran away with to escape your wife? Best friend isn’t really cutting it.” Rey responded, perfectly changing the subject.

“Maybe his brother? Or something else stronger.” He responded, glad to be off the topic of his uncle.

“Are you going to say hello?” she asked.

“Yep. Are you?”

“Yep.” She said as she stood, looking like she was mentally preparing herself for going into war.

“Have a nice time.” He said sarcastically as she walked over to her ex-fiancé and his new fiancé.

Kylo watched Rey go over and meet Poe and Finn, Poe greeted he with an awkward hug and Finn shook Rey’s hand. Even from a distance, Kylo sensed the awkward vibe coming from the three, a broken love triangle with Rey being the odd woman out. Kylo watched a few moments more before deciding to face the music and to see his parents face to face.

Kylo walked to his parents and began a conversation with them. The whole-time half-heartedly hearing what his parents and Chewie were saying to him, his focus was on the small brunette still talking to his half-brother.

When Rey took her leave. Kylo followed her lead a few seconds after her and left his parents and Chewie. She was already sitting down at the table, looking annoyed and anxious. He slid into his seat next to her, letting the reality of seeing his parents again sink in.

“You okay?” he genuinely asked, turning his head to face her. He had a strong feeling that she was keeping a brave face on for show.

“Nope. You?” She said, she looked like she was about to throw up.

“I’m all fucked up and I always will be.” He said in a serious tone, knowing that it’s true and it will be true forever.

“You think anyone will notice if I…. go back to my room?” she asked, looking around the room making sure that nobody was looking at her.

“Nope.” He responded, thinking to himself, I will. He turned to face her, hoping she would read his mind and hoping she would stay or have her invite him to her room.

“Yeah.” Her tone felt defeated, as if she was hoping he would ask her to stay with him.

Rey pushed her chair back from the table and got up. He silently walked to the back of the room before she left the room she flipped him off and then escaped into the rest of the hotel. He stared at her as she walked out of sight, laughing at what she did and mentally kicking himself for not going after her. About ten minutes later he escaped through the back of the room two, not bothering to say goodbye to his family. He didn’t care about them, all he cared about was the brunette in the room next to his.

Chapter Text

Rey

After the Rehearsal Dinner, she went to her hotel room and got changed into her pajamas. She pulled out a tan long sleeve sweater and tight black yoga pants, she went to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror.

“Why are you here?” she asked out loud, “Poe hurt you and your letting him back in, just so he can hurt you again.” She left the bathroom and went over to her bed, she lied down across it and began reliving the memories she had hid away all those years ago.

Rey was an orphan, she came from nothing and was always considered nothing. She worked hard her whole life to get out of the gutters in the city of Crait. She saved and scrounged every cent she earned, from working at mechanic shops to becoming a handy-man for a time. She was able to earn a scholarship to Alderaan University focusing on mechanics and engineering. She met Poe in the breezeway at the University, he was promoting the U.S. Air force and trying to get new recruits. He came over to the table where she was sitting, trying to memorize her Introduction to Engineering notes and they started talking. He was charming and was able to get her number after a five-minute chat, they went on a few dates and became very serious after that. He was a snake in the grass though, he always told her that her classes were too hard and that she should go into an easier career field one that would allow her to stay home with their future children. She believed him, she trusted that this was the best decision she changed her major to Mechanical Law. It would mean she stayed home instead of going in the field and working with her hands, so she stayed home, and he traveled with the air force. When he would return home from a night out he would always smell like liquor and a new perfume or cologne, she ignored it always chocking it up to the bar must have a strong scent. She met his parents and they disapproved, he proposed, and they disapproved, he dumped her five weeks before the wedding and they finally approved. She sued him in retaliation for stealing her college years and career dreams from her.

She suddenly thought of what Kylo had gone through, being cut on the face by his uncle! Who does that?

“I mean, not to throw stones, but he has a lot going on.” She said in a low whisper, “I mean, I know I have mine, but I luckily never had and Uncle attack and slice my face. I mean, I never had an Uncle so that helps. I mean he ran away to an unknown island, who runs away to an island? Did he buy the island or is he a squatter? Just psychologically it’s just interesting, the family dynamic.”

She sits up and turns on her tv, finding the Turner Classic Movie Channel and started watching Roman Holiday. It was about half way through, but she knew the movie by heart, so she didn’t mind.

Kylo Ren

In his room Kylo sat in loose black sweat pants and a white t-shirt on his bed. He was watching Roman Holiday, one of his favorite classic movies. He heard something coming from Rey’s room, so he muted the tv.

“At midnight, I’ll turn into a pumpkin and drive away in my glass slipper.” Audrey Hepburn said to Gregory Peck. He heard the tv faintly coming from Rey’s room, Rey was listening to Roman Holiday too. He got up from his place on the bed and walked over to their shared door, he put his ear to the door listening to the classic movie. His hand hovered in a fist position in front of the door, he was tempted to knock. Some part of his heart or soul told him, “She’s too good for you. She’s probably fast asleep by now.” He slowly lowered his hand and took a step back from the door, he waited half a second before turning and walking to his bed. He got under the covers and turned off his light. He hoped that he would dream of Rey tonight.

Rey

She could hear his tv from the other side of their shared door, she stood in front of it willing herself to knock. To reach out to the man who she knew had it worse off than her, she wanted to share love and affection with this man. She didn’t know how to explain it, but she felt drawn to Kylo, something broken within him called out to her broken pieces. A piece of her said, “He’s too good for you. He’s probably fast asleep and you are standing here looking like an idiot.” She turned around and went to her bed, crawling under her covers and turned off her light. She prayed that she would dream of Kylo tonight.

Chapter Text

Kylo

Waking up the next morning after seeing his parents went surprisingly smooth. He had dreamed of Rey last night, he dreamed of a perfect life for them. Sitting on a couch in an apartment they shared, watching classic movies and talking about their life experiences without any judgement. It had relaxed him and let him calm down before a hectic day ahead. After he got up and showered he investigated the gift basket he hadn’t touched since the day before. He dug through the basket and saw that there was “planned activities for the day” he groaned. It’s not enough that they make him come all the way down to Jakku but now he must do structured activities with people he hates! The activities he could choose from were: wine tasting, group hike, yoga session or foot massage. Kylo hated all those options but decided on the foot massage because at least he wouldn’t have to interact with anyone.

While leaving his room he noticed that Rey was leaving hers too.

“What group activity are you participating in today?” he asked, trying to mask his curiosity.

“I have no interest in being with anyone, so I decided on the foot massage.” She said, flatly.

Kylo’s chest filled with butterflies and happiness, “What a coincidence, I have interest in seeing anyone else either. I’m getting the foot massage too.”

“Do you want to ride together?” she asked, a hint of a smile on her face.

“Yes, to save gas.” He responded.

1 hour later

Kylo and Rey were sitting in overly sized plush massage chairs, their feet in buckets of water as two women were massaging their respective feet.

“I would never have guessed, Kylo, that you were a man who enjoyed a foot massage.” Rey said, her voice full of relaxation.

“I’m not. When I saw the complimentary shit in the wedding welcome basket, I thought ‘I don’t want that. I’m not comfortable with other people touching my feet. I don’t see why it’s necessary or good.’” He responded, staring at the woman massaging his right foot.

“Then why are you here?” Rey asked.

“Because the rest of the activities were with a group of people, most of which hate me, and I hate back. And because it’s a $30 value and throwing it away would have bothered me even more than this does.” He turned to look at her. Her face was scrunched up in confusion.

“So, your cheap?”

“OH. I’m way worse than cheap, especially when it comes to free shit- I hoard free shit. Especially the gray-area free shit, like the nail files and disposable slippers in the hotel room.” He said, still staring at her

“Gray area.” She repeated, her eyes drooping from relaxation, her looked like at any minute she might fall asleep.

“I tell myself that they want me to take it, that I’m intended to take it.” He continued

“Do you take the shoehorns?” she asked, seeming interested in his cheap ways.

“Not the long ones, only the short ones.” He replied.

“Well, that’s not gray area, that’s theft. You’re a thief.” She said nonchalantly, looking him straight in the eyes. “Do you take the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash?”

“I used to, but then one leaked in my suitcase.”

“Huh. What about the soaps?” she was genuinely interested in his free shit hoarding.

“Not the round soaps wrapped in paper. But the bigger ones in the boxes? Yes, I do.” He said

“So, you’re a minor person with grubby hands.” And there she was again, making analyses on every action he does.

“I don’t understand how, even after Poe did what he did to you, and even in the midst of the shame of being here, you can possibly still be mooning over him.” He too could play the analyst game with her.

Sighing Rey said, “That’s because you’re a money,” She turned and looked straight ahead. “who doesn’t understand the human condition.”

“Having met you, I understand why it’s a condition.” He half joked

“You don’t stop loving a person just because they injure you.” She said, her hands playing with the leg of her pants.

“It helps.” He responded.

“Well, love is not rational.” She replied quickly, annoyance creeping into her voice.

“Clearly. But how could you even like Poe?” He said with a serious tone, he wanted to understand why a beautiful and intelligent woman like Rey would fall head over heels for an asshole like his brother Poe.

“I never said I liked him.” She responded with a scoff.

“Then how can you love him?” He asked, even more confused than before.

“Love has nothing to do with like.” She responded, annoyance still in her voice.

“Healthy people would disagree.” He responded.

“Healthy people are sick.” She responded while rolling her eyes.

“Isn’t there a part of you that just wants to wish him well and move on?” He asked.

“Mm—Most of me wants him to be found in an icy river.” She said, he didn’t know if she was joking or not.

“It makes no sense to want the person you love to be dead.” His voice quivering with frustration, “Because then you’d have no one left to love except yourself. Which in your case would be unrequited?”

“Ugh, I really don’t want him dead.” She said while leaning her head back against the massage chair

“Good”

“I want him to have a long life, during which he is miserable every single day before slowly dying of regret.” She said, bitterness dripping with every word.

“There are seven billion people in the world. So, when one of them behaves badly toward you, he’s actually doing you a great favor because he’s saving you time. He’s telling you that he’s not worth your while. He’s freeing you to say, ‘Thank you for the information. I will now move on to the 6,999,999,999 other people, some of whom may have value.’” He said, tired of her pity party she was throwing herself.

“And is that what you’ve done, Kylo?” She asked with sincerity in her voice. “Just sifted, calmly and sensibly, through the entire population, searching for your soul mate?”

“No, I have opted out, which makes me uniquely qualified to observe and comment on your situation.” He responded.

“Oh, I am so lucky.” She replied sarcastically

“It was a long time ago.” He said, rationalizing her and Poe’s relationship

“Not an eternity.”

“You were both very young.” He told her, wanting her to see that she love should be used for others and not Poe.

“Old enough to know right from wrong.” She said, defending her love for the asshole still.

Kylo had no interest in trying to make her see that she was worthy of love if she wasn’t open to it, so he decided to change the subject.

“Incidentally, I spoke to Finn last night.” He said

“Oh, he does not have the sense God gave a toaster.” She responded, sounding happy to have the topic changed.

“He’s a moron. But he said to tell you that he hopes you can be friends.”

“You talked about me?” She said, surprised.

“He didn’t give you a lot of airtime. He has trouble stringing sentences together. And he uses a lot of personal pronouns, so you’re not always quite sure who he’s talking about.”

“Well done Poe” she said with a laugh

“But if it helps, he said he’s not threatened by you.”

“Yes, that helps tremendously.” She stares at him and tells him with a deadpan tone.

“At least, I think he was talking about you.” He says matching her tone.

“Wow. What do you care anyway?” She asked.

“I don’t.” He responded honestly, “I’m just trying to amuse myself and get to tomorrow.”

“Do you care about anything?” she asked with sincerity in her voice

Not wanting to say the answer flat out, he decided to make her work for it. “How many times have you been in love?”

Her face held a confused look, “Once.” She replied slowly.

“What was it like?” He asked.

She sat there confused, looking forward. He had stumped her once and for all.

Before she could reply the ladies massaging their feet told them they were done. Kylo gave them the voucher and a ten-dollar tip and left before Rey could tell him her final answer.

Chapter Text

Rey

Kylo’s question had left her shaken. What did it feel like when she was in love? In movies it was easy to detect, the characters just felt it and didn’t care about the consequences. Had she been in love with Poe or was it just stability she was seeking? What was love? She always drew a direct line between love and home, she had never had a home so that’s what she looked for. Poe was her first any only relationship she had ever been in, she had been infatuated with others through her youth but they all disappeared quickly.

Rey was still shaken from the question proposed earlier as they arrived at the wine tasting. The mandatory wine tasting, her and Kylo silently decided to go together to.

The car ride to the winery was silent, the first few minutes of the tasting they were silent too. Rey moved to the back of the room, hiding behind the barrels of wine which were stacked from floor to ceiling, she was able to have a good view of the other guest enjoying the party. Kylo silently followed behind her.

While watching the guests mingle and Poe and Finn stare lovingly into each other’s eyes, Kylo broke the tension between them.

“How does anybody drink wine at 11:00 in the morning?” he asked her, while holding a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon Wine in his hand.

“It’s a winery, Kylo. Haven’t you ever given a Politician money at 11:00 am?” She said, taking a sip of her Pink Moscato.

“I can still taste toothpaste.” He quipped back at her. His glass of wine remaining full. “You were absolutely right.”

Astonished, Rey turned to him “What did you say?” hoping he would bring back up the topic of love again.

“A destination wedding is presumptuous.” He said, still looking at the couple a few feet ahead of them, “Please drag your carcass hundreds of miles to excessively celebrate our happiness.”

“Yeah. Because our wedding is so special, it needs to be an epic imposition.” She said sarcastically, disappointed that he wouldn’t go back to the previous topic left in the air during the massage. But happy to play along with the roasting of the couple in front of them.

“It’s far too important to celebrate in anybody’s shit-ass hometown.” He said, matching her sarcasm.

“Or on one calendar day. So kindly give up your entire weekend.” She said before taking another sip of her wine.

“And spend a fuck-ton of your own money over and above the gift.” He said.

“I bet you loved the minibar prices.” She responded, remembering how cheap he was from their conversation earlier.

“It’s like 80 cents per cashew.” He said, looking her in the eyes. His deep chocolate eyes pouring into hers.

Rey stared at his face while he talked, he was handsome but there was more to him than that. He was smart and had a wicked sense of humor. She could see that he was damaged and that just drew her in more. Each time she was around him, her stomach became knotted and her nerves were on fire. She wanted to impress him and have him like her. Maybe that’s what love was.

She smiled at him for a moment, just enjoying his presence.

“What’s hilarious is that these two have no idea they’re in a fool’s paradise.” He said, his comment surprising her.

“You really think that?” She asked. Maybe this had something to do with earlier, why he said he didn’t look for a soul mate and asked her about being in love.

“I’ve spent most of my life dodging the shrapnel from my parent’s marriage which started with smiles as big as theirs.” He pointed to Finn and Poe who were smiling and talking to their guests while holding hands.

“Some marriages work out.” She said, defending the institution that she was beginning to question in the back of her mind.

“Yes, and some people have six fingers.” He said, turning to look at her.

“So, I’m guessing your single.” She said, with a sliver of hope that he was single.

“I decided to learn from my parents’ mistakes. It’s a form of evolution.” He said.

HE IS SINGLE! Her stomach turned to tighter knots. Taking another sip of wine to boost her confidence she probed deeper into his relationship issues.

“Yeah, but you can’t blame people for believing their own lives will be different.” She said, the wine starting to hit her.

“Yes, I can. It’s incredibly egotistical.” He turned and faced her again, she was beginning to memorize his strong features. “It might help to consider the idea that heartbreak is pointless, because if you had wound up with the person, eventually, you would’ve been miserable anyway.”

She thought about what he said for a moment and responded, “Actually that does help, thank you.”

“No problem.” He said, turning back to focus on the happy couple again.

“Don’t you believe there’s someone for everyone?” She asked, wanting to know if this man had any sliver of romance in his hulking body.

“Close. I believe that there’s nobody for anyone.” He said, finally taking a sip of his wine and walked away from her.

This man had an issue with love and relationships, Rey knew he was danger, but she was attracted to him anyway. Maybe she was even in love.

1 and a half hours later

Kylo came back to where she was standing. She was sipping her second glass of wine a white zinfandel this time.

She had watched him get cornered earlier by his mother, father and Chewie. She had almost laughed out loud when she saw the panic ripple through his face, she couldn’t hear what the four could possibly talking about, but she wanted to know.

“How was your parents and Han’s friend.” She asked innocently, watching his face grow a deep shade of red.

“It was awkward.” He said in a pained tone, “They wanted to know when they will be planning my version of these event.”

“Do you ever think it’s a crutch though, blaming your mother and father for everything?” She asked, her wine had made her braver than before.

“When did crutches get a bad name?” He said defensively. “When you have a broken leg, you need a crutch. In fact, it would be stupid not to have a crutch.”

“Well, yeah, but broken legs heal. And I’m an orphan, I don’t use that as a crutch not to get attached to people.” She said, letting her past slip over her drunken lips, she turned to conversation back to Kylo’s issue and not hers. “I mean don’t you have a responsibility to yourself to eventually cast aside the crutches and meet new challenges?”

On his face sat a look of surprise. “If the parent-child bond is diseased, you have a better chance of being a sociopath than of being well-adjusted. I consider it a triumph of the will that there aren’t shallow graves dotting my backyard. Besides, who are you to talk?”

Fear crept over her, she was scared that Kylo was going to throw her omission of her past against her. She held her breath.

“Simple heartbreak like yours should be, relatively speaking, a piece of cake to get over.” He said.

She was able to breathe again, “Well, it’s not.”

“I’d rather be strong and ruined than weak and ruined.” He stared, facing ahead of him. He stood their looking prideful that he was strong but broken inside.

With a roll of her eyes Rey responded, “I’m not weak. I just have hope.”

“That’s the same thing.” He said, before tuning and walking away again

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren

It was finally here, the big day. He didn’t have to be anywhere until the wedding at 6:30 pm at the winery. He slept in and stayed in his room until it was completely necessary for him to leave. He was still reeling after Rey’s confession to him last night, she was an orphan. He had no idea, she seemed to have grown up in a loving family based on how much she believed in love. He felt bad about mocking her belief of love now, she had never been loved before and he wanted her to feel love now. How could he tell her that he liked her now? Did she hate him? He had removed himself from dating because of these reasons. He hated the feeling of unknowing and insecurity, and he felt all of that whenever he spoke to Rey. She was independent and unafraid to share her feelings or opinions, he loved that about her and it also terrified him too.

Now they were sitting in the back of a van together going to his brothers wedding, his mind was racing with things to say to her, but his mouth refused to move.

When they arrived at the wedding venue the van left them at the base of a small hill.

“How do you not install steps or pathway for this shit?” Rey asked, she looked beautiful in her deep red dress. Her dress was mid-thigh length with cap sleeves, her hair was pulled up into three buns with loose curls falling to the sides of her face and she was wearing black kitten heel shoes.

“They warned us. It was in the Welcome Basket.” He responded, unable to keep his eyes off her.

“This is a fucking liability nightmare.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. Her beautiful face going into a deep pout.

“That’s right sue Poe again.” He joked.

“Can’t we just get the van to drive us up?” She asked, her voice filled with annoyance. She looked around for the van, which had already driven away.

“We’re going 90 feet.” He responded, confused by her disinterest in walking to the wedding.

“Well, the heels won’t make it.” She responded. Was this a tactic for her not to go to the wedding?

“Then take them off until we get there.” He replied, this was about her shoes?

“I just got a foot massage.” She said, defiantly.

“So?” he replied, still confused.

“I’m not gonna show up at my ex-fiancé’s wedding with dirty feet.” She said, as if it was common knowledge.

“You can clean them off at the grape wash.” He joked, trying to lighten the tension.

“Can’t you just carry me, please?” She asked.

“What?” Kylo was taken a back by her question. Carry her? As in holding her in his arms? If he did that he would never want to let her go.

“I can’t believe I have to ask.” She said in a quiet voice.

“What?” Kylo was still in disbelief.

“It’s 90 feet.” She said, even quieter this time.

“Oh…ok.” He said, bending down to place one arm on her back and the other under her knees. Carrying her bridal style up to Poe’s wedding.

He was holding her, her arm wrapped around his neck. Holding her close he could smell her perfume, a beautiful vanilla and sandalwood scent. He wanted to hold onto her for eternity. He slowly started up the hill.

“Can you just let me off at the top though, so no one sees that you carried me?” She asked.

Sudden pains went through Kylo’s heart, “Why? Maybe Poe will get jealous and rethink everything?” He quipped back, trying to joke through the pain he felt.

“Poe has forgotten I’m here.” Rey responded.

Kylo carried her the rest of the way up, letting her off at the top like she asked. They silently decided to sit next to each other in the back row.

When the wedding began, Poe and Finn standing in the middle of the makeshift altar and a woman with purple hair officiated. Han was standing next to Poe and Leia standing next to Finn.

“It’s 800 degrees” Rey said to Kylo, she was fanning herself with the wedding program. The sun was beating down on the wedding guests with no shade in sight.

“Why does the minister have purple hair?” Kylo asked. Confused on what church would have a minister with purple hair.

“She’s not a minister, she’s Poe’s and Leia’s friend from the Air Force. Amilyn, I think her name is.” Rey responded, some disdain in her voice.

“Holdo?” Kylo responded, suddenly having flashbacks of his mom and the purple hair lady having drinks and Poe listening to their Air Force stories.

“Holdo, that’s right.” She said, still fanning herself.

Kylo was starting to regret his choice of attire. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and red tie. If people didn’t know him and Rey they would think that they were together, his tie matching her dress and the way they had been hanging around each other the whole weekend. He was imagining what it would be like if he and Rey got married, he would want it to be just them and the officiant. It would be quiet and peaceful, no need for family to interfere or friends to worry about, it would be perfect.

“They just let anyone officiate at wedding?” he asked her.

“Not anyone. You need a credit card and an Internet connection.” She joked.

“You researched this?” He asked, surprised she knew the answer. He turned to look at her, rather than watch the wedding of his asshole brother.

“Oh, I researched everything.” She said nodding, still watching the wedding of her ex-fiancé. “I knew where we would buy a house, where our kids would be born, where they’d go to school. I knew where we’d be buried.”

Kylo was struck, she had really loved Poe and he had broken her heart when he left her. She had wanted a typical suburban life and Poe had stolen it from her.

Not knowing how to respond to her confession to him, he replied with. “Do you become a clergyman in an online church of some sort?”

“No, you can just do weddings.” She said, finally turning to look at him.

“Not baptisms?” He asked.

“No.” she said, looking into his eyes.

“Funerals? Bar Mitzvahs?” He asked, hoping to make her laugh.

“Just weddings.” She said with a smile. Her smile gave him butterflies in his chest.

“How many believers does he have?” He asked, he started to smile as well.

“No believers. No congregation.” She said, a smile plastered on her face.

“Does his church preach that there’s a heaven?” He asked, his smile getting wider. He never smiled but with Rey he wanted to smile.

“Ain’t got no church.” She responded in tight voice. Her body shaking from the urge to laugh.

He decided to change the subject before she couldn’t hold in the laughter.

“Why would anyone have my mother as the maid of honor?” He said while looking up at the wedding part. Holdo was talking about love or some other crap, Poe and Finn were crying and holding hands, his mother was standing next to Finn and holding a piece of cloth to wipe her tears. If he didn’t know anyone of the people there, he might have though this was a touching moment.

“I don’t know. It’s like having the Grim Reaper at your CAT scan.” She said with a straight face.

Kylo had to stifle a laugh, normally people never joked about his mother, she was the General. It was nice to hear someone roast his mother for a change.

“If I had a nickel for every time she said to me, ‘I am not your maid’” He said, remembering his childhood.

“Was she born during the Great Depression?” Rey joked.

“No, she caused it.” He responded, as Rey choked back a laugh.

After the last comment, Poe and Finn kissed and walked down the aisle to the reception. Everyone slowly got up and followed them. Rey and Kylo hung around the back, not wanting to interact with his parents or any of the other guests. They walked to the reception in silence, the smile on Kylo’s face lingered. He was surprisingly excited for the reception now.

Chapter Text

Rey

She didn’t have the closure she expected while watching the wedding, of course she was more focused on her conversation with Kylo. There was something about him that made her feel relaxed in this normally stressful situation, he made her laugh and that was not an easy task. She didn’t remember the last time she had a guttural laugh, but Kylo had brought it out of her. She was expecting this weekend to be just her hiding in the corner, she was glad someone else was hiding with her.

Rey and Kylo entered the big white tent that was holding the reception. It was free seating for the reception, so Rey followed Kylo to the back of the tent to the last table, they sat down at the circular table and looked around. The white tent was sparsely decorated, a few flowers here and there and white streamers draping through the tent. Honestly, it looked bland. If you were making your guests travel for a destination wedding, at least make the destination look presentable. When she had planned her wedding with Poe it was beautiful, they would have gotten married quietly with just his family and a few friends and a justice of the peace. The reception would have been at a small Italian restaurant near their previously shared home, and it would have been a quiet wedding. But her plans were altered long before Poe left her, he and his mother wanted a big wedding. They had wanted to invite all her friends and his Air Force friends and colleagues, they disregarded all her suggestions and concerns, but they made her pay for almost everything. She had lost herself when she was with Poe, and when he left her, he took everything with him.

Looking around the venue again, she was finally glad that she had never married Poe and that she was sitting next to a handsome man who also hated being here too.

Rey and Kylo sat and watched the festivities unfold around them. The dinner was served right away, a piece of steak with mashed potatoes and a salad. The steak was good, a bit too well-done for her liking but it was alright. She and Kylo enjoyed a comfortable silence as they ate and watched the wedding party walk around and interact with others. Nobody came over to them, and she was glad they didn’t. After dinner the DJ came out and started play loud club versions of the Top 40 songs you hear on repeat on the radio. They watched couples and other wedding guests go to the dance floor and shake and ‘dance’ to the music, if you could call that dancing and if you could call that music. She watched Han dance with a few younger women while Leia stared at him with murder in her eyes, Poe and Finn spinning and dancing with each other laughing and smiling. Rey sat there, keeping her eyes staring straight ahead, she was willing her face not to show the disgust she felt inside. She peaked over at Kylo, his face was not trying to hide any sort of feeling, positive or negative. The DJ began playing “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston, her heart sank to her stomach. This was going to be hers and Poe’s first dance together, she watched as the dance floor cleared leaving only Poe and Finn wrapped in each other’s arms.

“I used to love this song.” Sadness slipping into her voice.

“Do you want to dance?” Kylo asked, his voice sounded sincere.

She contemplated for a moment, thinking about how nice it had been being carried up to the wedding in his arms. How she would love to feel those are wrap her tightly in a loving embrace while moving around the dance floor, but this was not the time or place.

“I said ‘used to’.” Her voice going back to a neutral tone, not wanting to reveal how much she wanted him.

“Fine.” He said, his tone returning to his usual monotone draw.

“Why, do you want to dance?” She asked, some hope escaping into her words. She wanted to feel his arms again.

“Of course not, I hate dancing.” He said quickly, turning to face her “It’s moronic and a complete waste of time.”

“You’re not that busy.” She said, hoping he would reconsider.

“I just thought maybe you wanted to dance to get your mind off things.” He said, maybe he wanted her to ask him?

“I don’t,” She lied, “and it wouldn’t” Why did she say that! Of course, I want to dance with you, she thought, but my heart hurts from being here and I just want to run.

“Fine. I said fine.” He said, his voice wavered at the beginning. Maybe he did want to dance with her.

“Neither of us wants to fucking dance.” He said.

The song ended with Poe dipping Finn into a loving kiss. Gross, she thought.

“I can’t help but hope Poe tears a hip muscle.” Kylo said.

She nodded in agreement, she would love to see her ex fall on the ground in pain right now. Poe and Finn were still making out, Rey couldn’t stand to look at them anymore. She laid her head on the table, she could feel Kylo staring at her.

“Can we take a walk?” She asked in a defeated tone.

Chapter Text

Kylo
After Rey laid her head on the table and asked him to take a walk with her, they quietly got up and walked out the side of the tent. Rey had taken off her heals and was carrying them in her hand, the wedding gift was a pair of sandals, she wore them as they walked. She was standing close to him as they walked, their hands almost touching. The reception was on the base of a hill, so the unlikely pair silently decided to walk up and explore the hill. As they walked up the hill the sounds of the wedding reception grew quieter in the distance. The view from the hill was pretty enough, the hills had little to no trees or green on them, just a lot of dirt and sand. What a desolate place to have a wedding, why had Poe chosen this God Forsaken place to have a wedding?

As they walked further from the wedding reception, Kylo felt more relaxed than he had been all weekend. He felt comfortable enough to start talk to Rey without being worried about her judging him.

“How are the shoes?” He asked.

“They’re fine.” She said, looking down at the plain brown sandals. “I didn’t really want to go through the whole entire selection, but I have weird arches, so I have to be careful.”

“So, they’re good?” He said, wanting to make sure she wasn’t in pain while walking.

“Yeah.” She said, turning to face him.

“Okay.” He said, a slight pause followed. He wasn’t good at making or keeping a conversation.

“You know after the whole thing with Poe, I was diagnosed with PTSD.” She said, nonchalantly.

“Rich person’s PTSD.” He said, surprised by her sudden confession. “Privileged person’s PTSD”

“Okay, I do know what you’re saying.” She said, annoyance in her voice

“This is why people hate the top one percent.” He said.

“I am not the top one percent.” She said, stopping to look at him in the eyes. Her face was scrunched up into an annoyed look he had grown to love over the past few days. Her hazels eyes full of passion and anger, his stomach had butterflies in them each time she looked at him.

“Neither am I.” He said, a smile forming on his lips.

“When people talk about the top one percent like it’s home, it drives me fucking crazy.” She said, turning to face forward. She began walking again, he let her walk ahead of him for a few paces before he followed her. She looked beautiful in her dress, the fabric well-fitting around her waist and chest. He looked forward and walked to be next to her quickly, thinking too much about her body made his pants feel a bit too tight.

“You know who’s actually in the top one percent,” she continued, not noticing his sudden presence next to her, “the assholes that run the companies that I prosecute, and you most likely endorse.”

“Top ten, top twenty percent, whatever it is. The segment of society that doesn’t have to worry about basic things like food, clothing, shelter, transportation, or getting shot by the police.” He said.

“I grew up with none of that”, she said, stopping again to look at him, “I was abandoned as a child on the streets and had to fight for everything I currently have. So now I’m not allowed to have problems?” Her eyes were full of sadness and it looked like she was on the verge of tears.

He was taken a back, he didn’t know she was an orphan. He was quiet for a while before responding.

“We’re allowed to have them, but one is interested in them.” He said, deciding to avoid the topic of her past until she brought it back up again.

“And I don’t blame them, I’m not even interested.” He said, trying to lighten the mood. “We’re trite, trivial, tiresome, tone-deaf narcissists.”

“I never said I wasn’t a tone-deaf narcissist.” She replied, catching onto his joking tone.

“The optics are very bad.” He said, defending himself. “I’m just saying it would be more interesting if one of us lost a leg and could still feel it or if one of us claimed to have been abducted by aliens.”

Rey laughed and walked closer to him. They fell back into silence again, this time it was comfortable.

As the pair turned a corner they came to a clearing and standing in the middle of their path was a young rancor.

Rey and Kylo came to a halt, both staring at the creature in front of them. It was about 3 feet tall, standing on all four legs sniffing the ground bush in the clearing ahead of them. The rancor was maybe 10 feet in front of them. Rey gasped which caused the rancor to look at the pair, it was confused but turned to face them.

“Holy Shit, Kylo. What is that?” Rey whispered.

The Rancor growled at them, starting to inch forward.

“I think it’s a Rancor.” Kylo responded trying to stare down the creature in front of him. He had no plans of dying at his half-brothers wedding.

“Could it be a Wampa?” Rey asked

“Do I look like a zookeeper?”, Kylo responded, “What the fuck difference does it make what it is? It’s a fucking predator creature.” He looked at her, why did she care what the creature was?

The Rancor hissed and stepped forward again.

“A Sarlacc maybe?” She asked again. What was her issue??

“Jesus Christ.” He said, turning to face the rancor. He had no idea what he was going to do but he was ready to protect Rey from this creature.

“I don’t know what you’re worried about. It’s gonna go for me.” Rey said, he just realized that she had been holding onto his arm since they came upon the Rancor. She was holding his forearm just below his elbow, she was holding on as if her life depending on it.

“Why?” He asked, turning again to look at her.

“I saw a thing. They pick out the smallest of the herd.” She said, letting go of his arm to emphasize her argument with her hands.

“We’re not a herd, we’re wedding guests.” He said, turning to face the creature again.

“I’m telling you, you’re safe if you just run.” She said, still facing him. Was this woman he had only known for a few days really ready to risk her life for him? He knew that his own family would leave him to die rather than risk their lives for his. Why was this woman ready to risk hers for a stranger?

“No, you run. I’ll stay here and fight.” He said, he was ready to save her and make sure she lived. It dawned on him that he had never felt that way toward another person before.

“Uh, yeah, but I’m not a sprinter,” Rey argued, “I run for distance, so it gives me a certain clarity—”

The Rancor interrupted Rey’s ramblings with a loud roar.

“You run. I’ll stay here and fight.” She said, turning to stare at the creature.

“How about if we both run, and nobody stays to fight?” Kylo offered as an alternative.

“Neither of us can outrun a Zillo Beast.” She said.

“It’s not a fucking Zillo Beast. We’re not on Malatare!” He said, loudly.

Kylo took a quick look around to see how far away the wedding reception was, they were a good half a mile off in the distance.

“They won’t even here us scream.” He said, cursing how far they had left the assholes behind.

“I hate those fucking people.” Rey said.

The Rancor snarled and crept closer.

“On the plus side, you’ll be ruining Poe’s wedding.” Kylo said, not knowing how to handle the stressfulness of the situation in front of him.

“That’s true.” Rey said, her face showed that her mind was turning and thinking of how her death would ruin Poe’s special day.

“Unless they don’t find us for weeks. And then only in pieces, some of which were brought back to its lair.” Kylo said, always bringing up the dark side of every light idea.

Rey gasped.

They Rancor crouched down into a pouncing position and hissed again.

“Last chance on the running.” Kylo said.

“I can’t believe you’re the last human person I’m ever gonna talk to.” Rey said, her voice quivering.

“There might be EMTs.” Kylo responded, his wit never seemed to turn off.

“Yeah, but I might be a hemophiliac.” Rey replied, her wit never turned off either.

Kylo turned to look at her, preparing himself mentally for death. He wanted to look at Rey one last time, over the course of two days he had been annoyed, angered and fallen in love with the woman standing by his side.

Kylo turned to the Rancor and started hissing and yelling at the creature.

Both Rey and the creature looked surprised by his sudden demeanor and interesting vocal range. He was making as much loud noise as he could and started advancing on the Rancor.

The Rancor turned and ran in the opposite direction of the pair.

Kylo grabbed Rey’s hand and said, “NOW WE RUN!”

Chapter Text

Rey

Rey and Kylo were running, they had just been attacked by some kind of creature and Kylo had just saved them. She was amazed that he had put his life at risk to save her, nobody had ever done that for her before. And she was even more confused about Kylo than before, according to Poe’s stories Kylo was the type of man who would save his own neck before the person next to him. All these thoughts ran through her mind as she and Kylo ran down the hills getting closer to the Wedding Reception ahead of them.

“That was good, Kylo.” Rey said, trying to yell in between her panting breaths.

“My throat is really raw.” He responded. It dawned on her that Kylo was still holding her hand as they continued to run.

“But why are still running?” She asked, she was feeling out of breath already.

“Because I don’t think it’s a bad idea to put as much distance as possible between us and the Rancor as possible.” He said, letting go of her hand so she could catch up to him and not be dragged behind.

“I think it might have been a Vulptex.” She responded.

“It would be so ironic if I strangled you right now.” He said, he was also struggling to catch his breath as they continued to run.

“Why do you have to ruin a nice moment!” She yelled, turning to look at him, not noticing the long slope of the mountain approaching or the rock at her foot.

Rey tripped over the rock and pulled Kylo down with her, they tumbled down the slope for a few moments, both cursing and yelling.

When the momentum of their fall finally ended they were next to each other lying on their backs.

Kylo sat up and looked around, “For the record, you ruined the moment, not me.” He said, looking down at her.

Rey lied on the ground, trying to catch her breath. Her breathing was shallow, she was trying to conserve her energy for the inevitable part of sitting up.

“Rey?” Kylo asked, looking down at her. She remained quiet, still trying to catch her breath.

“Rey?” He asked again, this time his hands moved to her shoulders lifting her up off the ground. He sounded panicked and scared.

“I’m fine! For God’s sake. I just had the wind knocked out of me.” She said, shaking herself out of his arms and sitting up on her own. She shook the dirt off her dress skirt and pilled a twig out of her hair.

“Ok, good.” He said, as he sat down next to her. They were as close as they were in the car that brought them to the hotel, she could hear is heart racing.

“It was good, because you didn’t have the first clue what you were doing.” She said, trying to ease the tension. He was so close to her, she wanted to reach out and touch his hand and calm him down.

“Hey, it’s been a while since health class.” He remarked, playing along with her joke. He was looking at her now, his face had a light pink hue, maybe he was blushing, or he was still exhausted from running. He reached over and started pilling grass and twigs out of her hair, his hand was huge next to her.

“If you thought I had a back injury, the last thing you’re supposed to do is lift someone up.” She said, out of the corner of her eye she could still see his had in her hair. Instantly a dirty thought of him pulling her hair as they had sex came to her mind, she stumbled on the last few words of her sentence trying to compose herself. Where had that thought come from? She had never dreamt of having someone be rough with her in bed before, all her sexual encounters could be described as vanilla, but the thought of having sex with Kylo ignited a deep dark flame with in her. She had to snuff those thoughts out quickly and try to focus on their current conversation.

“I’m sorry.” He responded, pulling his hand away from her. His face and body language reminded her of a puppy who had just gotten kicked. She had to fix this fast.

“But on the other hand, you did save me.” She replied, hoping to ease the hurt on his face.

“Us.” He replied, looking out over the distance toward the wedding reception.

“I told you, it would have gone for me.” She replied, still looking at him. Analyzing his perfect face and long hair, he was a dark handsome that you only see in classic works of art or in comic books about brooding heroes.

“Why did you do that? Why did you save me?” she asked, curiosity filled her voice.

“I didn’t save you.” Kylo said, turning to look at her.

“Why did you save me?” She asked again, confidence replacing the curiosity from before.

“Because I’m an idiot.” He said, turning again to look at the wedding reception.

“You could’ve died.” Rey said, the realization of possible death dawning on her.

“Of idiocy.” He said, looking at her again.

“Don’t tell me you’re secretly noble.” Rey said with a smirk.

“I’m not,” he said glancing at the ground then looking back at her, “But I thought, ‘Maybe she’s right. Maybe hers is the life in danger. She seems to know fucking everything.’ And I didn’t want to feel guilty for the rest of my life about not having saved you.”

“I get that.” She muttered under her breath.

“I didn’t want to think of myself as selfish.” He said quietly, looking at his hands.

“Kylo.” She said with an exasperated tone.

“Ok, as that selfish. No on top of everything else I already think about myself.” He said.

“Copy you.” She said with a roll of her eyes.

“Cause it’s not like I have so much to live for.” He said, looking at her.

“Yeah, well, that’s true.” She said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Well, anyway, thank you.”

It was quiet for a few moments, Kylo staring deeply into her eyes. She could see that he was thinking about something and arguing with himself in his mind. Before she could ask him what he was thinking, Kylo leaned forward and started kissing her. His warm lips enveloping her mouth, leaving her with little to no time to prepare for his presence. Her left hand instinctively reached up to grasp the side of his face, she took a mental step back and needed to get some answers before this continued. She broke the kiss and leaned back out of his reach.

“What the fuck, Kylo?” She yelled.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what that was.” He said, his voice shaking and his breathing rapid. His face looked bewildered at what he had just been doing.

“Neither do I, for fuck’s sake. Jesus.” She said, her hands moving around in the air in front of her as if she was swatting away the idea of leaning over and resuming their teenage make out session.

He instantly leaned back over and placed his hand on her hip and the other on the back of her neck, his lips regaining their place on hers again. This time she was ready and as soon as his lips were on hers she kissed him back with the same amount of passion he had. His kiss was not soft of slow like how Poe’s had been, but Kylo’s were ravenous and passionate. Her hand resumed its place on the side of his face and the other moved to his shoulder, her pressure on his body caused him to lean back to the ground and she followed insult not wanting the kiss to end. This time he was the one who broke the kiss.

“I’m sorry.” He said, as he tried to sit back up.

“Goddamn it!” She said as she laid on her back, cursing herself for making out with him again, “What is wrong with you?!”

“I don’t know” He said, looking her in the eyes again.

Rey could see his mental struggle and saw that he wasn’t going to make a move anytime soon, she sat up and grabbed his face with both of her hands. She lifted her body up and straddled his lap, she sat on his lap and placed each leg on either side of his body. She kissed him deeply, drinking in the taste of his lips and the smell of his cologne. His hands grabbed a hold of her shoulders, he pushed her back a bit.

“What the fuck?” He said, confused. His lips a deep red from her lipstick and from the intensity of the kiss.

“Let’s just. Come on.” Rey replied before leaning back in to kiss him again.

He kissed her back, the burning lust they had for each other only increased when their hands started exploring each other. His hand moving up and down her spine while hers pulled on his hair, causing him to moan into her mouth.

Suddenly, he broke the kiss and pushed her off his lap. Both his hands went up to the sides of his head and cradled it.

“I’m sorry.” He said, after a few seconds of silence, his breath panting, “I’m sorry. It’s just very difficult for me to give myself over to any sort of positive activity.”

“Yeah. Especially this one.” She replied, sitting up and trying to fix the mess of her hair.

“It makes me think about how long I’ve gone without it, which makes me want to kill myself.” He said, looking at her in the eyes before looking over to the wedding reception.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been pretty sure for a very long time that life is essentially a horrible experience, and I really don’t need this kind of confusion.” She said, directly looking at him. His head turned back so he could look at her again.

“And pressure.” He said, “I mean, if it all sucks, then fuck it, but if it doesn’t all suck, then there’s so much pressure.”

“Yeah.” She said, agreeing with him. Thinking over what would happen if they did have sex, the last person she had sex with was Poe and that was well over three and a half years ago. She had pleasured herself but it’s nothing like the real thing.

“God, do you even know how long it’s been since I’ve been touched with affection by another human being?” She said, letting him into her sad sexual history.

“How about without affection?” He asked her.

“Nearly as long.” She said with a sigh.

“I tell you right now, I haven’t felt pleasure since I was in college.” He said, looking at the ground under him.

“Sometimes, I feel the absence of pain, which at this point feels like pleasure, or at least pleasure’s little cousin.” She said while playing with the grass in front of her. When she stopped talking and looked up, Kylo was staring at her, his eyes were filled with something she had never seen on his face before. It was hope.

“I don’t have protection.” He said. Her stomach did a somersault, were they really going to have sex? She was so excited at the thought of their bodies colliding that she couldn’t help the smile coming across her face.

“Well, why would you? I mean, why would you have a condom today? What are the odds? Astronomical.” She said, her nervousness causing her to just talk and talk.

“What if you got pregnant?” He asked, his face and tone very serious.

“I’m sure my womb is hostile, and I have an IUD.” She said, not worrying about anything. Her IUD was up to date and she knew that with it she had little to no risk of getting pregnant.

“Having sex right now would be irresponsible.” He said, not understanding what an IUD is apparently.

“Well, who cares? I mean, how much worse can things get?” She said, he underwear was getting wet with each passing moment.

“Okay.” He said, while closing the distance between them, and kissing her neck. She was excited to see where this was going to go.

Chapter Text

Kylo Ren

What was happening? Was he about to have sex with this beautiful woman? This woman who had been engaged to his step brother? The woman he met only a few days before and had yelled at him?

Yes, he was going to have sex with her and he was in awe of the situation.

Kylo broke the kiss and removed his jacket, placing it on the ground behind where they sat. Rey looked just as stunned as he was, but her expression quickly changed to hunger. He undid his belt as Rey took off her underwear from under her dress, she tossed it into the field to her side. She laid back onto his jacket and lifted her dress to reveal her tanned and toned thighs. She was a gorgeous woman, her body was toned and looked like it was made of marble. He could feel his dick rising to the occasion, he had a boner for her since they started kissing. Taking off his pants became difficult, he had forgotten to take off his shoes beforehand and was stuck trying to pull the pants, underwear and the shoes off at the same time. He finally was able to free himself from his pants enough that his dick was out.

Rey stared at his dick for a brief second, her mouth slightly open and face full of awe and surprise. His dick twitch with the thought of her sucking his dick, but he only wanted to please her right now. She laid down onto his jacket, pulling her dress skirt up to reveal her vagina, she played with her clit as he readied himself to enter her. Her fingers rubbing herself were wet, she was just as ready as he was. He slowly nudged toward her entrance, careful not to shove right into her like he wanted to in the back of his mind.

“How’s that?” he asked, his voice heavy and out of breath.

“That’s fine.” She replied, her soft voice quivered.

He slowly entered her completely, checking every few seconds to make sure she was not in pain. She moved her arms to his shoulders to have a grip on him, his hands were placed on either side of her head.

“Do you think the Rancor will be attracted to the musk?” He asked, suddenly aware that they were still out in the wild. As he said this he started slowly pumping in and out of her, keeping a pace that would satisfy both without the chance of cumming too quickly.

“I think it was a tauntaun.” Rey responded, her voice breathier than before.

The sound of her voiced caused his dick to twitch inside of her, they both moaned in response. He started pumping a bit faster than before.

“How is it now?” he asked, genuinely interested in how her experience was. Her finger had left her clit, but her pussy was still wet.

“It feels strange yet pleasantly familiar, kind of like coming off a long diet or going back to smoking.” She let out moans every few words.

“My mother used to tell me to always use two condoms when you have sex. The second always had to be bigger. It looked like a wind sock.” He said with each pump, why in the world he would bring up his mother in a time like this was beyond his thought capacity.

“That’s stupid,” Rey replied. “Each condom would cause the other one to break.” Her body accepting and rising to each of his thrusts, their bodies were working like a well-oiled machine now. Like they had always meant to be together.

He looked her in the eyes, amazed that she was having this fucked up conversation with him as they were in the middle of fucking.

“A fact discovered in the summer after 12th grade, by a nice girl named Kaydel who had no quarrel with anyone. She ran screaming from our rec room.” He said, still thrusting into her. Her pussy tightening around his dick every so often that he had to try not to cum too fast. He wanted to make sure she was satisfied with their hook up as well.

“Of course, you had sex in your rec room.” She said, her eyes closing as she let out a whimper, the walls of her pussy contracting around his dick, but she didn’t orgasm yet.

“We had an intercom system.” He responded after catching his breath for a few seconds. “The master control was in the kitchen. My parents could listen and talk to any room in the house from there. I used to call the kitchen ‘The Resistance Headquarters’ since they resisted everything I wanted to do.”

They both moan as he plunges deeper inside her, her legs adjusted themselves to wrap around his hips to lock on his back. The change in position was so welcomed, it almost made him orgasm when he was able to go deeper inside her.

“When my father heard Kaydel wailing, he screamed through the intercom, ‘What the fuck is going on down there?’ I said what happened. There was a pause, and then my mother said, ‘Dinner’s ready.’” He said, his voice getting breathier. He could feel his orgasm building in his gut, he wasn’t going to be able to last much longer.

“Your mother cooked?” Rey asked, her voice quiet again.

He paused, his dick still fully inside her. “On the off-chance that we are making a baby, do you want a boy or a girl?” He asked, looking deeply into her hazel eyes, noticing that in the dying sunlight the flecks of green.

“You’re asking me this now?” She asked, her hips bucking a bit due to the lack of friction between them. He could tell she was close to her orgasm too.

“I’m killing time.” He said with a shrug, before resuming his pumping into her warm and wet pussy.

“uhm, a boy.” Rey responded quietly.

“My mother actually told me there’s a way to get a boy.” He said, still pumping.

“Oh, this ought to be good.” Rey replied, with a groan. He didn’t know if it was from the activity they were engaged in or the idea of his mother’s remedy for having a son. He could tell it was the latter.

“Yeah. At the moment of climax just shout, ‘Oh, boy! Oh, boy!’” He said, his orgasm nearing. He could feel it in his balls now.

“Can we please stop talking about your mother.” Rey said with a laugh.

Her laugh caused her pussy to tighten around his dick, causing them both to moan. Both of their orgasms slowly approaching.

“Oh, Jesus, Kylo!” Rey shouted, her hands reaching and grabbing onto his back, her legs tightening their hold too. “Jesus effing Christ!” her moaning got louder and heavier, her pussy was holding onto his dick causing him to moan louder too.

He started pounding into her pussy faster, trying to relieve the friction and the pressure that was building up inside of him. His breath became heavier and he was becoming fanatic with his movements.

He could feel her tension building up around his dick, he could feel her about to come undone.

“OH BOY! OH BOY! OH BOY!” She screamed as her orgasm shook through her entire body, his dick was coated with her pleasure.

He could feel his coming, and without hesitation he moaned loudly and released himself into her. His body shook with the pulses that escaped him, he slowly backed into her as they came off their highs.

He laid down on top of her for a bit while mentally preparing himself to exit her body, he was careful not to apply the whole weight of his body onto of her. She laid there, absentmindedly rubbing circles into his back. Both of their bodies were buzzing with the after glow of what they had just done, soaking up the much-needed tension reliever and the pleasure they hadn’t felt in a very long time. He removed himself from her and put his pants back on, she sat up and looked around. Her face confused and bewildered.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, scared that she didn’t enjoy herself.

“Where’s my underwear?” She asked.

He laughed and stood up, whipping the dirt and dried grass off him. He reached down and offered Rey a hand to help her stand up. She took it and didn’t let go once she was standing.

They walked down the hill and past the reception area to the van waiting to take the guests to the hotel, holding hands and smiling.

“Do you want a drink?” Rey asked, turning to look up at him. Her face was flushed, and eyes sparkled.

“I want all the drinks poured directly down my gullet.” He said, a wicked grin emblazoned on his face as he looked at her. He could spend forever staring into her beautiful face, and he would never grow tired of the view.

Rey laughed, “Why don’t we go to your room and crack open your minibar?”

“Why don’t we go to your room and crack open your goddamn minibar?” He responded, only partially serious. He stood before the door of the van, waiting to open it.

“Kylo. We’re alive.” She said as he opened the door for her.

As she got into the van he asked, “What does that have to do with anything?” Before entering the van, himself.

Chapter Text

Rey

Wow, just wow. What had my life become? Three days ago, I was pissed that I was going to alone at my ex-fiancés wedding and now I just had sex with his half-brother in the middle of the wilderness??? What in God’s name is going on?

The ride from the reception back to Maz Katana Castle Hotel was pleasant, nobody had ridden back with them, so they had the whole van to themselves. Rey sat next to Kylo, keeping their fingers laced together, her head leaning on his shoulder. Every so often Kylo would grab her chin lightly and kiss her, at first the kisses were passionate and possessive but as they got closer to the hotel they were light and long as if he never wanted to stop kissing her.

When they arrived back to the rooms, their hands still laced together Kylo led her into his room. Rey’s heart fluttered, and she couldn’t help but smile. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been with a man who wanted her as much as she wanted him.

As they entered his room, he turned and looked at her. His face was soft and full of hope, he looked like he wanted to ask her something but couldn’t quite articulate it.

“I, uh, need to shower.” He said quickly, his face blushing.

“Ok.” Rey replied, not really knowing why he would lead her to his room only for him to say he needed to shower.

“Would you like to shower with me?” He asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Rey was shocked, she had never been asked to shower with someone before, not even Poe! Her mind delved into all the naughty and dirty things that could be done in the name of being “clean”.

“Yes, please.” Rey said, her voice quaking.

Kylo smiled and took her to the bathroom.

Rey couldn’t help but stare at Kylo as he undressed himself, she had only seen his lower half which was impressive. His upper half was just as impressive, his chest was broad and muscular. His shoulders and arms were also muscular but not intimidating like the meat heads she had dated before. She had to stop herself from running her hands all over him, she could feel her underwear becoming wet again. When he was done getting changed out of his clothes Rey suddenly remembered she had no change of clothes for after their shower.

“Um, can I run to my room really quick? I need to get my pajamas.” She said, blush spreading over her face as she spoke.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll wait here.” He said, his face blushing too.

Rey took off to her room, fumbling to get her room key out of her pocket in her dress.

“Come on, open the fuck up.” She said to her door.

When the door finally open, she ran in and dug through her clothes. She was trying to find something remotely sexy or appealing in anyway. She knew she didn’t pack anything like that, so she grabbed her tan sweater and yoga pants, hopefully he liked woman in sweaters.

She held her clothes in her arms and ran back to his room. She knocked on the door and smiled, her insides had turned to mush. She had never been this nervous or excited about possible sexual encounter, but it was something about Kylo that made her excited to be physical with someone. When Kylo came to the door in nothing but a towel, Rey’s desire for him grew even more. He pulled her in by her waist, his face had a wicked and passionate look on it. She was ready to get in the shower with him now.

She threw her change of clothes onto his bed and reached up and grasped his face between her hands, she pulled him down and kissed him. He kissed her back with as much passion as they had in the wilderness, his hands letting go of his towel and began fumbling with the zipper on the back of her dress. He unzipped her dress and helped her take it off, leaving her only in her underwear. He stopped the kiss and looked down at her, his eyes taking in her whole body as his hands caressed her.

“Wow.” He said.

Rey swore she could see drool coming out of his mouth, this only caused her to blush even harder. She began to take her bra off, Kylo put his hand over hers.

“May I?” He asked, his voice deep and breathy.

Fuck, she thought. She put her hands down and Kylo unclasped her bra. When the cool air of the hotel room hit her exposed breast, her nipples immediately became hard. She moved her arms to cover her breasts, Kylo grabbed her arms and put them to the side.

“Can I touch you?” He asked.

“Yes, please.” She said.

His hands caressed her breasts and slowly began massaging them. When she thought he was done massaging her breast, he surprised her by taking her nipple in his mouth and started sucking on her nipple. A moan escaped her mouth, her hands immediately going into his hair and stated playing with it. With his mouth sucking and leaving kisses over her left breast, his other hand still massaging her other breath. After a few minutes he switched breasts, focusing on the other breast with the same passion as the other. Her body was on fire, all her nerve ending was firing rapidly. She needed him now.

“Kylo, shower. I need you in me.” Rey said, her voice surprised her. She had never had that kind of confidence before to tell her partner what she wanted.

Kylo let out a guttural groan as he releases her nipple from his mouth, he lifted her by her waist. Rey’s legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, on her stomach she could feel his hard and throbbing dick. Her hips bucked against him and both let out a moan. When they got to the bathroom Kylo put her down, as he did he slid her underwear off too. They stared at each other’s naked bodies, after a few moments Kylo stepped into the shower his had stretched out to hers.

“Please?” He said, his voice was low and hungry. His eyes burned her skin with each passing second.

She took his hand and stepped into the shower with him. Kylo turned on the shower, letting the water pour over them. They were standing face to face, or in her case face to broad and chiseled chest. He looked even better in the water, his normally long and perfectly styled hair was slicked back and out of his face. She could see all his facial features and she loved every single one. Kylo was the first to move, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Leaning down he kissed her, softly as if he was afraid she would break the kiss. She responded with a little more passion to the kiss, her arms wrapping themselves around his shoulders and her hands finding their way to his luscious hair. Kylo broke the kiss, his breath was rapid.

“Can I- “He tried to ask.

“God, yes. I want you so much.” Rey said, before Kylo could finish his sentence.

Kylo smiled and knelt down in the shower.

“Keep your back on the wall. And place your leg over my shoulder.” His voice was dark and full of lust.

Rey could only nod and fulfill his demands. Was he going to go down on her? Poe had only done it once and he didn’t even get her off, she had resigned to herself that it was just a work of fiction that men would willingly go down on a woman. But here Kylo was on his knees for her, the sight of him worshiping her made her moan.

Kylo took one of his large fingers and started rubbing against her slit until he found her clit. She let out a moan as he touched her most sensitive area. He chuckled and started massaging her with his thumb, his lips started licking her pussy. He worked his way up and down her slit, his thumb constantly massaging her. Rey’s moans were getting louder, she could feel the tension slowly building in her stomach. Her hips started to move following the motion of his mouth, she could feel herself slowly start to come apart.

“Kylo...” She said breathlessly.

Before she could come, he moved his thumb away from her clit and his mouth away from her pussy.

“Wait, go back” She whimpered.

Kylo let out a chuckle and said, “You’re going to finish, trust me.”

As he said that he slowly inserted two fingers into her wet pussy. Rey let out a cry, his fingers were so big inside of her, he started pumping his fingers in and out. Rey could feel the tension in her stomach rise higher and higher. Before she could cum Kylo started sucking on her clit, playing with her sensitive area and making her loose her mind. She moaned and screamed his name as she came, her hips bucking and riding his fingers as her orgasm shook through her small body. As Rey slowly came down from her high, Kylo slowly removed his mouth and fingers from her pussy. He took her leg off his shoulder but held onto her waist, making sure she didn’t fall from being weak in the knees. Rey was panting, and her heart beat was slowly returning to normal. Kylo stood up, hands still on her waist and looked down at her. She reached up and kissed him, she could taste herself on his lips and tongue, but it just made her want him more. She wanted to give him as much pleasure as he had given her.

Rey tuned off the shower and stepped out, Kylo had a surprised look on his face. She smiled and took his hand, with her free hand she threw him a towel. When he let go of her hand she grabbed a towel for herself and started to dry herself off.

“Come over here.” Rey said, leading Kylo to his bed.

She pushed him down on the bed, he was seated at the edge. Rey lowered herself to her knees in front of him. His dick was erect and waiting for her, he was massive compared to her past hook ups. Was she going to be able to take him all?

“Rey, you don’t have to do this.” Kylo said, looking down at her.

“I want to.” Rey said.

When she finished talking she reached forward and lightly wrapped her had around his hard dick. She slowly started moving her had up and down his base, after a few pumps she leaned forward and licked the tip of his dick. She could taste his salty precum, it excited her to her core. After relishing in the taste of his precum, Rey took the top of his cock in her mouth and started sucking. Slowly taking more of him and then coming up, her hand worked the rest of him she couldn’t fit in her mouth. Above her she could hear Kylo’s moans and groans, his hands were wrestled in her hair. He wasn’t forcing her head down on him, but he was guiding her movements and the pace she was going. With Rey’s free hand she started massaging her clit, her pussy was already soaked. Her head bobbed up and down Kylo’s dick, his moans began to get louder and his breath was short.

“Rey, I’m about to…” Kylo panted.

Rey let go and decided to take the plunge, literally. She took him further into her mouth and down her throat, she bobbed her head up and down each time going further than before. She could feel his cock twitch and before she knew it he came down her throat. The taste of his load going down her throat was just as salty as before and she knew she shouldn’t have liked it as much as she did, but she loved the state he was in, all because of her. Kylo was muttering and cursing under his breath, he pulled her off the floor and kissed her hard and long. He was still sitting on the bed as he held her in his arms, he broke the kiss and let go of her.

“What PJ’s did you bring over?” He asked.

Rey smiled and let out a laugh. It was such a normal conversation after a non-normal action. She was ready to spend the rest of the night with him.

Chapter Text

Kylo

He was half listening to the news on the television, all he could think about was the way his and Rey’s bodies reacted to each other. He was now fully dressed sitting on his bed, Rey was getting changed into her pj’s in the bathroom. He was still in shock over how this trip had turned out. Who would’ve guessed that at this wedding he would hook up with his brother’s ex-fiancé? And maybe even fall in love with her. He was so confused by all these new emotions he was feeling, he had never been in love before, was this how it was supposed to feel? He could only stare at the news and try to figure out what was going through his head.

Rey walked out of the bathroom, she was wearing skin tight black yoga pants that complimented her figure perfectly and an oversized long-sleeved tan sweater. She was beautiful, her beauty was effortless, and it took his breath away. She crossed in front of him and walked toward the mini-bar, she glanced around before picking up the chocolate bar.

“Seriously, the chocolate?” He asked.

“We’re not going to drink without eating. Alcoholics do that.” She turned to look at him and let out an exasperated sigh.

“The chocolate is the most expensive thing in the minibar besides the…” POP “wine” He said as she opened the $40-dollar bottle of wine from his minibar.

“Would you rather we had ordered room service?” She asked as she started pouring them glasses of wine.

“Definitely not. I spoke to the front desk. They add a delivery fee, a 17 percent gratuity, and some sort of fuckin’ cover charge like we’re in Naboo.” He said.

“I’ve always wondered why they give you two glasses even when you’re traveling alone.” She said as she brought the two glasses over to the bed. She handed him a glass and then sat down next to him, the chocolate bar tucked under her arm.

“Because one would be so sad.” He said while taking his glass.

She settled in next to him, she was sitting on her knees where he was sitting with his back against the headboard and legs perfectly straight.

“Here’s to… what?” She said with a smile.

“Please.” He said, giving her a half smile in return.

They clinked glasses, and both took a sip. It was a tasty red wine, not too bitter for his taste.

After Rey too k a sip, she placed her glass down on the end table next to his bed and adjusted herself to be more comfortable. When she was comfortable she tore into the chocolate bar, trying too tear the tinfoil away from the chocolate bar. Her face was full of concentration on determination.

“It’s not that difficult.” He responded with a chuckle, before taking another sip of wine.

“I’m not wearing anything under my pajamas.” She said in an exaggerated sultry voice.

“Why would you? They’re so alluring.” He quipped back.

“I didn’t think I was gonna be intimate this weekend. Or any weekend.” She said. Her hands still focusing on opening the chocolate.

“Superman couldn’t see through those pajamas. People have jousted in lighter clothing.” He joked back, raising his glass to take another sip.

“Kylo?”

“Present.” He said before taking a sip of wine.

“When you said before that I was an attractive woman, what did you mean?” She asked.

Oh shit, he thought. He was not going to confess his love to her right now or tell her that her body and personality make him want to be a better man. He was not going to tell her that he would follow her to the ends of the earth just to be with her. He was definitely not going to tell her that.

“What do you mean what did I mean?” He replied, he was trying to keep his voice as even and as neutral as possible. “You’re an attractive woman. You’re physically appealing.”

“Can you be more specific?” She said.

Oh Jesus Christ what was this woman trying to do to him? Of course he could be specific, he wanted to drown in her beautiful hazel eyes. Her body was perfectly shaped and when ever he touched her it finally felt like he belonged in this world. Like his hands were made only to hold her and she was what he wanted to worship and love until his dying day.

He looked down at his wine glass before telling her what he found attractive about her. He took a deep breath before he started.

“Your facial features subscribe to the Golden Ratio.” He said, and then looked at her.

“What?” She asked.

“One to the quantity one half times radical five plus one. The Golden Ration.” He explained

“You can tell that?” She asked, her voice sounded confused.

“It’s an estimate. And you have The Folds of Aphrodite.” He looked her in the eyes while he spoke. He wanted her to see into his heart and know how he felt because even he didn’t know the words to tell her.

“What are the Folds of Aphrodite?” She asked with a smile.

“That’s the name of the particular, graceful way that the cheeks of beautiful women arrange themselves when they smile.”

He placed his wine glass on the table next to him and using his other had he began to point out the features to her on her face. She was smiling, and it took his breath away.

“There’s a gentle creasing that begins at the cheekbone and runs downward, in a slightly arced diagonal, directing the eye to the mouth. It’s aesthetically thrilling.” He said, then picking back up his glass and taking a long sip.

Rey sat there for a second before replying. “Well... I’ve never heard the term ‘Folds of Aphrodite’.” Her voice breathy and her hands picking at the still unopened chocolate bar.

“I coined it.” He replied, a smug smile growing on his face. He could tell that she felt something between them.

“Then it’s not a real thing. Then it and you are bullshit.” She said in an annoyed tone.

“I googled around and there was no name for it so I coined it. It’s established now.” He said in his defense.

“Bullshit.” She replied. She turned her focus back onto the chocolate.

“In my experience, there’s at least a 90 percent correlation between beautiful women and women who have The Folds of Aphrodite. The Folds cut across races and ethnicities.” He said and then took a sip of his wine, he was going to need a refill soon.

“What else about me?” Rey said, she placed her legs on top of his lap.

Kylo put down his wine glass and put one hand onto her thigh.

“Well, you’re slender, but not the point of a troubled relationship with food. And your curves are very sexy but not vulgar. Everything very much in proportion, firm but not overly, which I’ve always found weird and prepossessing. Your arms bespeak physical fitness and athleticism, but nothing sapphic. And your ankles quietly aver that you will keep your body well into later age.” He said, when he was done talking he was out of breath.

“It’s despicable the way men look at women.” Rey said with a fake annoyed tone.

“In short, you are beautiful, graceful, and elegant. Also, you don’t dress in an overtly sexy way. You seem to understand that dressing sexy is actually the opposite of being sexy, that certain information should have to be earned, rather than given away for free to anyone and everyone who passeth by your doorstep.” He said, his words now coming out like a waterfall, he didn’t know how to stop sharing.

“If this were 1732.” Rey said with a scoff. She inched closer to him on the bed, their shoulders were now touching, and he could smell the hotel soap on her body.

“I’m giving you a compliment.” He said.

“You’re calling me a prude.” She fired back.

“I’m suggesting that you’ve taken the high road. Even in this flagrant, flaunting day and age, you have chosen to preserve the mystery. Yes, the pajamas go too far, but I applaud the ethos.” He said

Rey took a few seconds to digest everything he had just said to her. She then quietly said to him, “Would you like to know about you?”

“No.” He said before looking at the tv. He would love to hear what she thought of him but in all honesty, he was scared.

“Yes, you would.” She replied.

He remained quiet, silently giving her permission to explain what makes him attractive. If there’s anything at all.

“You’re very handsome. You have powerful eyes. Your hair will never be a problem. The corners of your mouth touch but do not cross the vertical lines which bisect your eyes. In profile, your chin extends exactly the same as your lower lip, which is an ideal. Bodily, you feel strong and substantial, sinuous but not wiry. Sartorially, you get high marks. You tuck in your shirts because you realize that tails out is a ridiculous way to dress. You wear your pants low, and your shoes are legitimate. And you have a beautiful penis.” Rey said. When she finished talking she started picking at the chocolate bar again.

“I do?” He asked, his mind racing a million miles a second. What made his penis beautiful? Who was she comparing it to? Was there a scale of ugly penis to beautiful penis that he wasn’t aware of?

“Oh, come on, Kylo. Surely women have told you that your entire life.” She said in a serious tone.

“No.” He said, still bewildered they were discussing his penis.

“Well, it’s very nice. It’s straight, and you would not believe how epidemic a problem that is. Also, its balletically formed. It’s not so big as to ever be a cause for concern, but it’s big enough never to be the object of ridicule or scorn. You’re in a very sweet spot there.” She said, as she finally unwrapped her chocolate bar.

“Are you saying that Poe’s penis is not straight?” He asked.

“Can you imagine that we would have gone this entire weekend without saying these things to each other?” She asked with a huge grin on her face.

“’Balletically formed’?” He repeated.

“That’s right.” She said, breaking off a piece of chocolate and handing it to him.

He placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her next to him, she formed perfectly next to his body. They sat there in silence and watched whatever was on the tv.

Chapter Text

Rey

Rey and Kylo were sitting comfortably in bed next to each other as they watched whatever trash was playing on the tv. His right arm was wrapped around her shoulders and her head was resting in the crook of his neck. Sometime after telling each other what they found attractive about each other and now, she had put a blanket across their laps. It felt peacefully and beautifully domestic. This is the kind of romance she had always dreamed about, the fire and passion was fun but all she wanted was someone to feel at home with. And wrapped in Kylo’s big arm it felt like home.

The tv was playing out some sad sob story of a family who argues but then all reconciles within the 30 minute air time it had. The two children were fighting about something and the parents had to step in and talk to them about resolution, as if all arguments could be resolved like that. Kylo scoffed as one of the children forgave the other and they embraced in a hug. Rey sat up and looked at him.

“What?” She asked.

“How can the writers wrap up an argument with a hug? Obviously they never had siblings.” He said.

“You and Poe never resolved anything with a hug?” She said, jokingly.

“Fuck no, Poe’s an asshole and I never wanted to be touched by him.” He said.

“I have a question.” She said.

“I may have an answer.” He said, while turning off the tv with the remote on the table next to him.

“Why do you go by Kylo? The name on the door said Ben when we got here.” She asked.

Kylo sighed and brushed his hand through his hair.

“When I was growing up it was difficult being known as the General’s son and the Best Pilot’s son. Then when Poe came along I was known as the kid who’s dad cheated on his mom and got a surprise sibling out of it. And everyone knew it because of my name Ben Organa-Solo, I hated always being compared to their legacy’s and then when Poe went and became an Air Force hero, I got compared to him too. I need to forge my own way, and the only way I thought I could do it was by becoming a new person. So Ben Organa-Solo died and Kylo Ren was created.” He said, his tone wavering.

Rey rubbed her thumb against his hand. She never could understand the judgment and pressure that a name could put upon someone, but she wanted to understand. They saat there for a few quiet moments, letting the waves of truth and understanding wash over them.

“Since I am an orphan, the police officer who found me got to choose my last name. His name was Cassian, he was nice and gave me donuts. He said picked Kenobi because that was his favorite Sargent’s last name, he said that I had the same kind of fire that he had. I kept in contact with him as I moved from one foster home to another, he was the only person who really believed in me.” She said.

She was surprised by what she had just said, she had never told anyone about Cassian before not even Poe.

They sat in silence again, letting each other’s confessions in.

“Do you want to have children?” She asked.

“I’d rather be dead in a ditch.” He replied.

“Oh.” She said, surprised by his answer.

“I mean, why would I do that to those poor souls?”

“I hope I’m not pregnant.” She replied.

“That’s what I’m saying.” He said.

His hand was rubbing her thigh, in a comforting but unaware way as if he was supposed to be doing that his whole life. It was a subconscious motion that he was unaware of, but it made Rey feel loved.

“Why did your father leave your mother?” She asked.

“Because he could. Because he had the power of locomotion.” He said, his tone becoming quizzical with each of her questions.

“And what would you say is the major barrier to a warm relationship between you and your half-brother?” She said.

“He’s a douchebag. Why are you asking me these questions?” He said.

“Just—I don’t know. I’m just evaluating your qualifications as an ongoing love interest. Not that I’m advocating that. Clearly, you’re an emotional cripple, as am I.” She said.

As Rey was talking, Kylo took his hands off her and moved her legs off his lap. He turned and looked her in the eyes before interrupting her.

“I don’t have any qualifications as an ongoing love interest neither do you.” He said in a serious tone.

“But love interest is too strong a word. I, um—affection. Interest. Tolerance interest.” She stammered, surprised by his objection.

“This isn’t going to be ongoing.” He said.

“What, you’ve decided that unilaterally?” She asked. She was confused by what he was saying, was he not enjoying their time together?

“For both our sakes.” He said, his head dropping.

“I don’t get a say?” She asked quietly.

“No, you have terrible judgement in this regard.” He said, he was monotone as he answered her.

“What, but—I--,” She scoffed as she moved away from him, “My head is finally clear, thanks to you. I mean, I haven’t thought about Poe since the rancor.”

“So, you admit it was a rancor.” He said, looking at her for the first time since stating his decision for their possible relationship.

“Do you have any idea how huge this is for me?” She asked him.

“If it’s true, the rancor and I are happy to have performed that service. But now, apparently, no good deed goes unpunished.” He said, while lifting his glass of wine.

How could he be so blunt and rude to her? Was she honestly a quick and cheap fuck for him? She could see in her head an outline of a future for them, it wasn’t clear on the details, but it was solid. How could he not feel anything toward her like that? As her thoughts were racing about Kylo she stopped herself. And turned to Kylo and put a hand on his chest.

“I think I finally have closure.” She said.

It was all becoming clear. She had closure because she was no longer in love with Poe, she was in love with Kylo. Another person who would never love her back.

“I don’t trust that statement, and neither should you.” He replied.

“But you want to.” She said, withdrawing her hand from his chest.

“You don’t just jump from one love object to another.” He said.

“Tolerance object.” She interrupted.

“That’s how mistakes are made.” He continued.

“All I make are mistakes.” She said. “At least this one would be fun.”

“Are you having fun right now?” He asked, after taking another sip of his wine.

“Yes. I mean, we’re kind of arguing, but there’s hope.” She said while smiling at him. Hoping that he would feel the same.

“This is an interlude. A weekend. A small oasis of time in which we can taste intimacy like it’s a piece of free salami at Trader Joe’s. Why not? You’re in the store anyway, you forgot to eat breakfast, and it tastes okay, and afterwards there’s no salami fallout. When no one’s looking you just drop the toothpick onto the floor.” He said.

Did he really just compare them having sex to a piece of free salami?

“Man, you’re not one of the—Do you really do that?” She asked.

“Well, there’s no garbage pails in that place, and it’s unsanitary to put the toothpick on the receptacle napkin.” He explained.

“All right, le—just – Okay. Just—I’m just Devil’s advocate. Maybe—just what if, okay? What if it’s more? What if there actually is something to the idea of a destination wedding? What if we’ve been thinking about this whole thing backwards? What if… I know, but what if our real destination was each other?” She said. She was trying desperately to put her emotions into words and they came out as incoherent nonsense.

As she was talking, Kylo downed the rest of his wine.

“What if you never say that again?” He said.

“What if happiness is… contagious?” She asked, hope filling her.

“Why would you think that meeting someone has anything to do with being happy?” He asked, his tone sharp.

“BECAUSE!” She said while waving her arms around. “Once upon a time, I met someone, and I was happy… I thought.”

She laid her head down in her hands, why was expressing emotions so fucking difficult?

“Personally, I’d be worried if my life philosophy began with ‘Once Upon A Time.’” He said jokingly.

“Well, I’m an optimist.” She said in her defense.

“But you have a preponderance of counter-evidence. Where you not watching your own engagement?” He asked.

“How could I have been?” She said, when she was engaged she was so in love with Poe.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“Nothing. Sometimes I just willfully reject irony.” She said while adjusting the blanket on her lap.

“You are doomed.” He said, turning away from her.

“Maybe we saved each other, Kylo. I mean, did you ever think about that?” She asked.

“No. Neither should you.” He said, reaching over and grabbing the remote to turn the tv back on.

“I wonder how many people met at weddings and then went on to –” She babbled on thinking out loud.

“32” He said in a gruff tone.

“Why not, you know, extend the oasis? A good day here, a good day there, pretty soon you’re just talking about a couple of good days.” She said, talking over the sounds of the tv.

“What time does our flight land tomorrow night?” Kylo asked.

“I don’t know, about 7:30?” She replied.

“I will extend it until tomorrow at about 7:30.” He said.

“Well, there’s no point in extending it another four seconds if you’re not gonna keep your mind open to the possibilities.” She said, the hurt she felt in her heart making its way into every word. Did he really not want her?

“Why do people need the dangled carrot of a future?” He asked.

“Because we do! Because connection is precious, therefore it is immoral to just treat each other like dalliances, even if that’s what we wind up being.” She said, she was getting so annoyed with his view on this.

“But that’s exactly what we wind up being. Permanence is a myth, an a—an illusion.” He said.

“Well, I didn’t say anything about permanence. I was speaking of a slightly lengthier temporariness.” She lied, she wanted his forever.

“What’s the point?” He asked.

“I just told you what the point was.” She said, no longer trying to cover her annoyance.

“But when it’s over, you’re right back at square zero. I will not keep my mind open.” He said resolutely.

Rey scoffed, “Well, then just keep it open to the possibility of keeping it open.”

“No.”

“Really?” she was fed up. “Oh, wow. That’s—I – I’m almost, I’m almost—” she stammered as she grabbed the blanket off their laps and got off the bed. “You know what, if you can’t or won’t, then you simply can’t or won’t.” She walked around the bed and started walking to their shared door.

“That’s my blanket.” He replied.

“’That’s my blanket’” Rey replied, mocking his voice.

“If you want to leave, just say so.” He said, his voice wavered.

“I very much want to leave.” Her hand was on the door handle and her heart was heavy.

“Say it again.” He said.

“You debate like a child.” She replied, not wanting to say it again.

“You eat like a porg.” He said.

“You’re fucking up.” She replied, her voice lacked any emotion or jokes. She wanted him to know that if she left, she wouldn’t come back.

She began to turn the door handle.

“How about if I keep my mind open to the possibility of keeping my mind open to the possibility of keeping my mind open?” He said, his voice frantic.

“That is just one metalevel too removed.” She said, no longer turning the handle.

“Come on. Get back into bed. Let’s find out if the family will be alright at the end of this new episode.” He said, while moving over in the bed. He was now sitting where she used to be.

“Fine.” She said, before stalking over to the side of the bed he had cleared for her. “But only until the next commercial break. And with no sexual reprise. And only because I want to know what the family will get into next.”

She climbed up on the bed and sat next to him, she spread the blanket across their legs. Before they were touching and holding each other, now she consciously tried to keep some space between them. Kylo adjusted the blanket on his lap and then took her hand in his and held it, their fingers laced together. She looked up at him with surprise, they had just argued why was he holding her hand now? He said there was no way they would be together after this weekend but here he was holding her hand tenderly. She was so confused by his mood swings and her emotional state that she didn’t notice when her eyes slowing getting heavier and her consciousness began to slip in and out of reality. It wasn’t too long until both her and Kylo were fast asleep.

Rey’s thoughts ran wild as she dreamed. Was Kylo really going to treat this weekend as a passing moment of happiness like he said? She was starting to feel real emotions for this man, some emotions she had never felt before. Was this what true love was supposed to feel like, the fear of it not being true but the exhilaration of the possibility of it being real? And how could she be in love with a man who she met a few days ago? The man who had been so rude to her? The man she was able to share her true feelings and thoughts with? Was she really falling in love with Kylo or was she just caught up in the Destination Wedding?

Chapter Text

Kylo

Kylo woke up before Rey, she was nestled in the crook of his arm. Her face was on his chest and she looked like she was deep in thought. He fucked up last night, when Rey was opening the possibility that what they had could last longer than the weekend he panicked. He would love to spend forever with her, he just wanted to do it right. Maybe ask her out to dinner or a movie, not hook up at his half-brother’s wedding. He had serious feelings for her, he had never been in love with someone like this. Sure, he had been infatuated with other women before and had lusted after women in the past, but this with Rey terrified him. It terrified him because he could tell she liked him too. Maybe she more than liked him, which was astonishing. He was used to people hating him or fearing him, anything other than that was scary. What had he done to deserve a woman like Rey feeling any positive emotion toward him? Maybe it was fates cruel way of reminding him that he didn’t deserve someone like her in his life. Last night they both had revealed their true colors, hers were warm and welcoming whereas he was cold and distant. He knew that if she could get to know the real him, she would leave. He didn’t want to deal with that inevitable future, so he decided to end it. But seeing her almost leave him for good hurt beyond measure, so he caved and asked her to stay the night. And he was glad he did, seeing her curled up next to him was the most beautiful sight in the world. He wished he could wake up everyday with her in his arms, never wanting to let her go.

Unfortunately, the hotel workers had another plan.

‘KNOCK! KNOCK!’

Rey sighed and rolled out of his hold, the lack of her next to him was strange as if he had lost a limb. How could he be so attached to a person he had just met?

“Jesus can you stop!” He yelled back.

‘KNOCK! KNOCK!’

“It’s housekeeping.” Rey replied, her voice soft.

‘KNOCK! KNOCK!’

“Come Back Later!” Kylo yelled.

When the knocking finally stopped, Kylo sat up in the bed and stretched. Rey was still laying down facing the ceiling her eyes were closed, she looked peaceful.

“Oh… You shouldn’t be in here.” Rey said.

“This is my room.” He said, looking at her confused.

“Then I shouldn’t be in here.” She said.

His heart deflated when he heard her say that, she remembered their argument last night. His regret swelled inside of his chest, ready to burst out and apologize to her for everything. But he didn’t.

“Okay.” He said, laying his head back against the headboard.

“You feel pregnant?” He asked, trying to lighten up the mood.

Rey sat up and looked at him with a frustrated glance.

“I wouldn’t know.” She said.

“What’s your gut say?” He asked.

“What it always says. ‘Don’t listen to me.’” She quipped back.

“But if you did listen?” He asked. Looking at her in her eyes, he wanted to make sure she was feeling alright.

“I don’t feel any different, if that’s what you mean.” She replied, staring right back at him.

“Good.” He said.

“How is that good?” She asked, “Why would you want me to perpetuate my general circumstances?”

“You can do anything you want with your circumstances. I was thinking of my circumstances.” He said. He was acting like an asshole again, why was he such an idiot?

“Which are so wonderful.” She said sarcastically.

“We shouldn’t have spent the night together.” As he said the words, he instantly regretted them. He loved spending the night with her, he was a brash asshole who fucked up every good thing in his life!

“You wouldn’t let me leave.” She said.

“I didn’t want it to end on a bad note.” He lied. “Also, you’re in the next room. It would have been spectacularly awkward.”

“As opposed to this.” She said.

“We tried, okay? We did. But at some point, there’s just not enough optimism left inside a person to sustain something like this, you know?” He said.

Rey placed her head in her hands.

“You broken preacher, me broken choir.” She said quietly.

“I think it’s important we recognize that and verbalize it openly, so as to avoid any discomfort.” He said. He wanted to make sure it was really over, he didn’t want either of their hearts broken.

“Oh. Mission accomplished.” She said.

“Good.” He said. He put his hand on her back and started rubbing/ patting it. He was never good with comforting people before, why would he be good at it now.

Rey stared up at him with confusion. He removed his hand from her back.

“Do you have everything?” He asked.

“Oh, um… yeah.” She said, removing the covers from her and getting out of his bed. “I think, uh, my…”

“Can we still hang together at the farewell brunch?” He asked.

She looked at him and said with an exacerbated tone, “Uh, who else am I gonna hang with? Although I suppose I could hang with myself.”

“Well, I’m going to take a shower and pack.” He said, not wanting to prolong this already awkward goodbye.

“Sounds like goodbye to me.” She replied as she turned and walked to their shared door.

He watched her leave, regret filled him the moment the door closed. He walked over and leaned his head against the door. How could he be so stupid. He wanted her so much but knew that their future could only end in pain, and he didn’t want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her, but by the look on her face, he already did.

Chapter Text

Rey

That was the most awkward night and morning of her entire life. First Kylo invites her to his room and they have the best sex she’s ever had, then he says that this is a one-time thing. Maybe I shouldn’t have jumped in blindly to this weird situation, but I thought it was real. With him it felt real, part of her felt like it had been ignited by his presence and his touch. She felt alive when she was with him, most of her anxiety’s and fears washed away when she was with him. If that’s not what love is, then what does it feel like?

Rey walked around her hotel room, packing haphazardly and looking at the door she shared with Kylo. Each time she looked at it she wanted to run over and swing the door open and kiss him. Or she wished he would run in and profess his love for her. But that was the optimist in her, the realist knew that he was probably all packed up and at the Farewell Brunch. This weekend gave her closure but opened something more in her, she hated that she came and pretended to be the bigger person.

She looked around her room one last time, making sure she didn’t forget anything. With one last look, she decided that when she locked the door that it was the end of the fantasy. When the door closed she would be done with Kylo and Poe, she had her closure with Poe, but she had to force the closure with Kylo. Leaving the room felt cold and scary, she didn’t want the fantasy to die. When she heard the lock on the door, she forced her face to harden and her exterior to become ridged. She wasn’t going to show Kylo how broken she was inside.

At the brunch she saw that Kylo had sat down at the farthest table from the other wedding guests, she poured herself a cup of black coffee and went to sit next to him. Even though they had gone through a painfully awkward night and morning, she really didn’t want to sit with anyone else.

Kylo was wearing his typical black dress pants, white shirt and black blazer. Today he wasn’t wearing his black tie, maybe he was going for a more causal look or he just didn’t feel like wearing it. Rey was wearing a pair of blue jeans a tan short sleeved shirt with a tan jacket. She wanted to look presentable but comfortable for the flight home.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them drinking from their respective coffee cups.

“Well, what do you think, about time we head to the airport?” Kylo asked her.

“It’s really close.” She said, understanding the need to get away from all these people.

“Fifteen minutes.” He replied. He was looking at her, but she kept avoiding his eyes.

“Well, our flight’s not for—” She said.

“Five hours.” He interjected.

“There could be traffic.” She rationalized.

“Why take chances?” He confirmed

“Then we should just say our goodbyes.” She said, looking around the brunch for the first time.

Poe and Finn were sitting under a white gazebo feeding each other different fruits and laughing with each other. Leia and Amilyn Holdo were talking in hushed tone a few tables in front of her and Kylo, every so often would look at Rey and Kylo with an annoyed expression. She was probably wishing that her disappointment of a son and an ex-daughter-in-law had never come to her perfect son’s big day. Han and Chewie were standing next to the breakfast buffet looking as uncomfortable as she felt.

At the same time, her and Kylo looked around and said “Good-bye”

They both stood up and grabbed their luggage and started walking to the exit. Next to the exit door was a table full of farewell gift bags for the guests.

“Want your farewell gift?” Kylo asked.

“The farewell is my gift, but please, take mine.” She said, looking down at the gift bags. They were most likely full of cheap soap and candles from the dollar store.

She exited through the door first but turned back around to see Kylo take four gift bags off the table. What a cheap bastard she thought, she almost laughed out loud when she watched him try to carry the bags along with his luggage. It was going to be difficult getting closure from him.

They walked to the same orange and white car that had picked them up before and got into the backseat. This time they sat closer toward the middle of the shared row instead of being glued to the windows like before. They were more comfortable with each other. An as much as Rey hated herself for it, she craved intimate affection from him. She sat with their shoulders and legs touching, his hand occasionally touching her thigh which sent shocks throughout her body. She was so focused in her thoughts that she almost didn’t notice when he started talking.

“What the fuck happened with the urban planning here?” He asked while looking out the window. “At some point did they just give up?”

“Right.” She said. “On the off, off chance that I ever have a wedding, I would never make anyone travel to it.”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” He said.

She looked over to him and started laughing, he soon joined in laughing too.

“Because you’re a decent person. Not because you won’t get married.” He clarified.

“Oh, come on.” She replied.

They drove in comfortable silence the rest of the way to the airport, their shoulders and legs still touching.

The arrived at the airport still enjoying their silence while they sat and waited for their flight.

Chapter Text

Rey

The Millennium Falcon was in the air above the clouds as Rey and Kylo sat in the back of the plane again. Their seats were assigned, just like they had been all weekend. Rey was beginning to see it as a sign, some kind of message that they were supposed to interrupt. She was sitting and mulling over the events of the weekend while drinking the mini screw top bottle of red wine the flight attendant had given them. She knew she had to tell Kylo what she was thinking, it was now or never.

“Why do we live, Kylo?” She said.

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” He replied before looking out the plane window.

“I’m serious. The work we do isn’t meaningful in any great sense. The connections we make invariably fall to ruin. Everything we build burns to the ground. Meaning is a myth, like you’ve said, so why do we live?” She turned to look at him as she spoke. His head turned and looked at her, his eyes burning a hole in her head.

“I was so enjoying the silence.” He replied.

“It has to be that the myth isn’t a myth for everyone.” She mused before taking another sip of her wine.

“Well, it’s certainly a myth for the people in front of us. Look at them.” He said while pointing to the old man and young woman seated ahead of them. “They’d rather burst into flames than to fuck each other.”

“You don’t know that.” She retorted.

“Oh, yes, I do.” He said.

“It’s possible that within the myth, there’s a sliver of truth, and you have to believe in that sliver wholeheartedly, come what may, despite the rational mind, because if you—if you don’t, the myth just reveals itself to be a myth, and meaninglessness becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.” She rambled on before taking another sip of her wine.

Kylo had gotten his mini wine bottle out and was examining it, his face was void of emotions, as if he wasn’t hearing her.

“Try as I might, I cannot get behind wine in screw-top bottles.” He said.

“Also, you have to encourage others to believe in the myth. Because if they believe, they can do anything. They can laugh, cry, hope, vote, get married. But if they don’t, they can’t do anything, I mean not really, except make themselves as shallowly happy and comfortable as possible. Which is just vanity, let’s face it.” She said.

Kylo had opened his wine and was staring at the top in one hand and the bottle in the other.

“For me, wine in a screw-top will always carry the stench of chintziness.” He said, finally looking her in the eyes since she had started talking.

Rey sighed and looked out her window before turning back to face him, she was about to say something she might regret later on but right now she had to let it out.

“What if we’re falling in love?” She asked.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a big fan of cork.” Kylo said, while screwing the top on his wine. “You ever see it on a wall or in the heels of an espadrille? Ridiculous. But for wine, it conveys a certain necessary élan.”

“What if love comes for everybody?” She asked, her hand holding onto his bicep.

“Don’t be absurd.” He said with a sigh, turning to look at her.

“What if no one is immune, not even us?” She asked.

“Stop it.” He said.

She let go of his bicep and took another sip of her wine.

“It would be remiss not to embrace the miracle.” She said.

“What happened between us was not a miracle. It was actually much closer to a debacle. Maybe that’s what you meant.” He replied.

“Oh, come on. You don’t find it miraculous that two people like us forged any kind of bond?” She said.

“I find it ‘debaculous’.” He retorted.

“It was a miracle. It required forever being seated together. It required an adjoining door and a near-death experience. What are you waiting for, a burning bush?” She said before taking a sip of wine, it was almost gone now.

“I can’t believe you’re bringing this up again.” He said, his tone sounded tired. “I thought we had an understanding. We had come to an agreement. We’re less than an hour away from parting as friends.”

“Okay, but deep down, in your broken, miserable gut, don’t you want something that’s pure an in its own grotesque way, beautiful?” She asked.

“No.” He said in a flat voice.

“Don’t you want to secretly have a romantic life that confirms your hopes instead of your cynicism?” She asked, wanting him to share why he won’t take a chance with her.

“No.” He said again.

“Don’t you want to believe that things like this actually do happen?” She asked.

“Nope. I’m fond of my cynicism. It’s very comfortable.” He said.

“Like a warm blanket of your own shit.” She replied before finishing her wine. She could really use another right now.

“Yes. I’m very comfortable and warm in my fucking warm blanket of fucking shit.” He said gruffly before opening the top of his wine again.

They both looked out their own windows, the silence settling on then was thick with tension.

“But what if we’re falling in love?” Rey asked quietly, still looking out her window. She didn’t want to look at him when he inevitably told her no.

“Dear God…” He said.

“I mean, what if this is what it’s like?” She said, turning to look at him.

“It would end in disaster.” He replied. He turned to look at her, his eyes were full of emotion. She just couldn’t tell which emotion it was.

“What if it didn’t?” She replied.

“It would.” He said.

“I know.” She said, letting out a sigh.

“Good.” He said.

“But—” She started to say.

“Stop.” He interrupted.

“Ah—” She tried to start again.

“Stop.” He interrupted again.

Suddenly, the plane had turbulence causing Rey and Kylo to be jostled around in their seats. Kylo’s hand slipped and spilled half of his mini red wine down the front of his white shirt.

Kylo started grumbling and closed his wine bottle and put it in the pocket next to his seat. Rey was hunched over laughing at his situation, fate could be so funny at times.

“This is not funny. Don’t laugh at me, please.” He said, looking at her.

Rey sat up and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I’m laughing out of affection.” She replied in between giggles.

“No one laughs at another person out of affection.” He replied. “You laugh at another person out of contempt.”

He was shaking his shirt, trying to air it out. The red stain covered his chest, and you could see through straight to his abs.

“No. I’m laughing cause its cute.” She replied

“It is?” He asked.

“Yes. But, fine, I’ll stop laughing.” She said sarcastically.

“Thank you.” He said quietly. He focused on his shirt some more.

“Kylo?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you, like, have an instinct about me?” She asked.

“Nope.” He said.

She rolled her eyes and said, “I think you do.”

“You’re the one who said your gut can’t be trusted.” He replied, looking at her again.

“That’s true. For a long time it’s been a lying bitch. But I would have been willing to give it another shot.” She said, she could feel the wine take over the rational part of her brain that was telling her to shut the fuck up.

“Why? I mean, how much shit has to fall on your head before you start wearing a hat?” He asked.

“You can’t die from jumping out of a basement window.” She said.

“Of course, you can. You can hit your head on a pipe or something.” He said.

Always the fucking realist he was. She rolled her eyes again, laid her head against the head rest and sighed.

“You’re going to wish you embraced the miracle, Kylo. You’re gonna wish you had” She said before turning to face the window for the rest of the flight.

Chapter Text

Kylo

He was a mess and his life was now an even bigger mess. When Rey brought back up the idea of them being involved he was straight forward and knew he could keep up his rock like expression. But as soon as she mentioned love, something in him shattered, maybe it was the barrier he had built around his heart or maybe it was his heart? Could this woman be the love of his life like she had kept suggesting? Maybe it had been a miracle that the kept getting paired up this weekend, maybe his cynicism could roll over and die, maybe he was capable of love?

He was silent the rest of the flight back to Crait, he pondered every possibility he could. If they both worked on it, they could have a possible relationship. They both knew most of each other’s dirty laundry and baggage, but would it work out in the end? If it ended in flames, how would they both survive? He knew in his heart and soul that if it ended badly with Rey, he might as well die, his love for her consumed him more than anything ever had before.

When the flight landed they exited the plane and walked through the terminal in silence, they walked next to each other the whole way through the airport. When they got to the exit he held the door open for her to go to the taxi line. They walked to the taxi line, which was devoid of taxies and waiting patrons.

“How’s your shirt?” Rey asked.

“Sticky.” He replied.

Rey giggled. Her laugh was music to his ears, a sound that he would never forget for as long as he lived.

They stopped at the yellow taxi sign and stoop next to each other.

“We shouldn’t exchange contact information.” She said, looking up at him. Her eyes were blank, as if she was focusing all her energy not to show any sign of emotion.

“There’s no point.” He agreed.

He was mentally kicking himself for letting this weekend get to this point. He wished that he was a braver man who could tell her that he loved her and that he would follow her to the ends of the earth just to be with her. A braver man would tell her right now, but that wasn’t him.

“I think I just said that.” She replied.

“It was very nice to meet you.” He said.

In the distance he could see a few yellow spots coming closer, their time together was coming to an end.

“It was very nice to meet you too.” She said.

He put out his hand for a handshake and she lifted her arms to give him a hug. The pair moved around awkwardly for a few seconds before he leaned down and hugged her. His head rested on her head, he could smell the hotel shampoo in her hair. He breathed it in, trying to commit her form and feeling to memory. He never wanted to forget her.

“I know what you’re going to say,” She said as he pulled out of his embrace. “’It’s not you it’s me’”

“No, it’s you.” He said with a laugh, and then quietly said “It’s me.”

“Yeah. I know.” She said in a soft and wavering voice.

The taxies pulled up next to them. Kylo walked over to the back-seat door and turned to face Rey. He bowed and attempted to open the door, it was locked. He pulled a few more times before the cab driver unlocked it.

Rey let out a giggle and sighed.

“I liked the bow though.” She said.

He took her luggage and put in the back of the taxi for her, she stood on the curb watching him. He wanted to be chivalrous for her, so that she could at least remember him in a somewhat positive light. That is if she ever wants to remember him. He moved out of the way and let her stand in the open-door way, before she stepped in she turned and looked up at him.

“Why didn’t we meet three years ago, Kylo?” She asked with a serious tone.

He couldn’t give her a serious answer because it would break his heart.

“Just lucky, I guess.” He said.

She smiled at him and stepped into the backseat of the taxi. He closed the door for her and watched as she told the driver where to take her.

“14 Lucas Lane, Crait Outpost, please?” She said.

“What are you doing?” He asked. “Don’t give your exact address. You don’t know who the driver is.”

“Thank you for caring.” She replied.

“I don’t. I would’ve said the same to anyone.” He said, defending his outburst.

“We’re holding up the line, Kylo.” She said. ‘There are other people in the world.”

He realized that he was stalling their imposing separation.

“There are?” He joked.

He let go of the top of the taxi and watched as the driver started the engine and drove away. Out the back window he could see Rey’s hand flipping him off. He laughed to himself and watched her drive away from the airport and out of his life.

He turned to look back at the taxi stop and noticed that other people had taken the ones that had been in line. He was left alone waiting.

Chapter Text

Kylo

He arrived home later than he had expected, the taxi’s took forever to come back after he watched Rey leave. Now he was watching tv sitting in his pj’s with his suitcase open next to him. He was half listening to the show that was playing, he was replaying the whole weekend through his mind. He was such a coward, he let the woman of his dreams walk out of his life forever and now he was stuck thinking off what could have been.

To get his mind off of Rey, he decided to dig through the free shit he had picked up over the weekend. He opened the Farewell gift bags and dumped it out on his bed, they contained a few bottles that looked like soap or lotions and a candle. He picked up one of the bottles and smelled it, it smelled like vanilla, just like Rey. He was so pathetic, anything that happened in his life from this moment on would probably remind him of Rey. He decided to put his clothes into the washer, as he was picking his clothes out a chocolate bar fell out. He picked it up lightly and held it in his hands, memories from the night before played through his head. He didn’t want to think about it anymore, he put the chocolate bar back down in his bag and covered it with the gift bag.

Rey

She had just gotten into her usual sweater and yoga pants combo when she began walking around her house. She poured herself a glass of water and stood next to her counter holding the glass, her mind was replaying every event from the past few days. Should she have lied and told him that she didn’t have feeling for him? Would that have made the pain of the lack of him in her life any easier?

She was lost in thought that she almost didn’t hear the doorbell ring. Who was at her house this late? She had no friends that would come over unexpectedly, actually she had no friends. She walked to her front door and looked out the peep hole. She was shocked to see Kylo in a grey shirt and sweat pants.

She opened the door and stared at him in surprise.

He looked down at her and shrugged. His face full of nervousness and hope, his hands played with the other in front of him, but his eyes stared into her. She smiled and moved out of the way so that he could come in. He stepped inside, and she closed the door behind him.

Chapter Text

Rey and Kylo tried to take their time to get to know each other, they really did. Kylo asked her out to dinner and at the end of the night they ended up back in bed together. They spent all their time together outside of work together, they would go out to lunch and dinner together. After their third date, Kylo proposed he was nervous and awkward while asking. He had never shown or expressed love like this before and Rey is the only person he had loved or cared about before. Rey was surprised and in shock that he cared enough about her to ask her to spend the rest of his life with her. She smiled and said yes.

When planning their wedding they decided to take a lesson from Poe and Finn’s. They went to the court house and got married by a judge with a random witness from the hallway. They hated other people and making a big fuss, this was the best and most perfect decision for them. They went on vacation and sent his family postcards saying that they ran away and got married. They mainly sent it just to rub their faces in it, the two most unlikely people to get married found happiness and love. All because of a stupid and pretentious destination wedding.