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Xephos had a problem.
Honestly, Xephos often had a problem. Sometimes he would be tired, sometimes he would be annoyed, sometimes he would be the only person working and it would bother him. His current problem, however, was a mix of all of these things, with the addition of being stuck on the back of a whale.
"Jesus fucking Christ," he heard Sips mutter, some ways away from him. "How are we gonna get these trees down? Why the hell did you plant these?"
"They weren't sacred," Honeydew barked back in defence. "They were mega! I thought mega was fine!"
"What do you think mega means?!"
Xephos' stomach lurched, and he leaned forward again, covering his mouth. His hands were sweaty. Gross.
"Sjin, can you come get all of your shit out of my house? I can't walk in here for stolen furniture."
"I've no idea what you're talking about."
This is how most days seemed to be going now. A lot of arguing. Not a lot of productivity, it seemed, now that Xephos was seated on the metal buckle of the whale's girth, a shoddy bucket held tightly in his arm. He could feel his shoulders trembling with the effort of keeping his stomach down. He was struggling to figure out exactly why he was feeling so sick. He would typically chalk it up to motion sickness, but the whale had stopped. In fact, it was the first time in several weeks that the whale had stopped moving, and the first time ever that it had dipped down into the water.
"Oh fuck, the hat on this chicken," Sips laughed. "Holy shit! I need it!"
"Don't kill the chickens!"
"There's a million of them, Lalna." Honeydew assured.
A strong shiver ran through Xephos' body, and with little warning, his stomach upheaved. He was barely fast enough to position his face over the bucket, vomit splashing in the metal basin as he coughed up the little food he had managed to keep down in the morning. He glared in disgust and exhaustion at the contents before setting the bucket aside, laying back against the whale and staring up into the sky. Despite being drenched in sweat, he felt surprisingly cold, his body wracked with shivers.
"Anybody seen Xephos? He's got the only axe that can take out these trees," Sips inquired, motioning as if swinging an axe as he idly looked around for his companion.
"Is he not here? Maybe he's off the whale," Lalna replied, watching Sips from his farm.
"Would have mentioned that though, yeah?" Honeydew rejoined.
Xephos closed his eyes, pressing one sweaty palm to his forehead and resting the other over his troubled stomach. He felt absolutely wretched. He didn't have the strength to announce his presence on the whale, choosing instead to simply wait until he had been found and hope that he didn't vomit himself to death before then.
"Saw him go off the side," Sjin called from somewhere behind him. "Don't know where he went, though."
"Off the side?" Lalna echoed. "Has he gone back to the volcano?"
"Oh fuck!"
That voice was too close. Xephos winced, sitting up a little too quickly and sending his head spinning. It was Sips, he recognized the accent.
"What happened?!" Sips immediately began, rushing to help Xephos to his feet. "God, you're really sweaty. Guys! I found him!"
"Jesus, you're loud," Xephos chided, keeping an arm around his stomach as Sip hoisted him up. "I'm alright."
"You should see yourself right now," Sips muttered. "You look half dead. Fuckin' dum-dum."
"Is it really that bad?"
"Jesus, is he dead?" Sjin questioned as he approached, Sips glancing at Xephos pointedly as the spaceman acquiesced his position on the matter.
"He's really sweaty," Sips explained, helping Xephos back onto the platform. "Sweaty and hot. A sticky, gross man."
"Jesus," Honeydew mumbled, walking over and squatting down in front of where Xephos had been seated next to one of the large rubber trees. "You alright, friend?"
"Not feeling well," Xephos admitted, his stomach lurching once again as he quickly snapped his hand back over his mouth.
"Sips, get a bucket," Honeydew instructed, nodding towards the chests and not breaking eye contact with Xephos. "Sjin, get Lalna."
"Honeyd-"
"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"
"It only just happened this morning," Xephos protested, his eyes falling closed as his need to relieve his headache overcame his need to see. "I was busy vomiting."
"Do you want to go back to your room?"
"I don't want to move," Xephos admitted, offering a half-hearted chuckle.
Honeydew pressed a hand to Xephos' forehead, relief coursing through the spaceman at the cold touch. He shuddered, Honeydew pulling his hand away all too soon for Xephos' liking.
"Definitely got a fever," Honeydew noted, plopping down next to Xephos and watching his expression sympathetically.
"I'm here, what's going on?" Lalna questioned, pulling his gloves off and tucking them into his pocket.
"We've got a sick babby, Lalna."
Xephos suppressed a snort.
"Oh, yikes. How sick?"
"Sips is getting him a vom bucket."
"Correction!" Sips interjected, dropping the bucket in Xephos' lap triumphantly. "Sips got him a vom bucket, thank you very much!"
Xephos held the bucket tightly against his body, ready for the next wave of nausea to come at any second. He couldn't even tell what temperature his body was anymore - he had gone from cold to hot and back again too many times in the past few hours to truly be able to tell.
"Xeph, can you look at me for a second?" Lalna requested, eyeing Xephos' face when he obeyed the instruction. "Mm, those eyes aren't looking very good. Red."
"You look tired," Sjin noted, sitting down next to Honeydew as Sips leaned against the tree.
"Woke up early," Xephos admitted, his body suddenly tensing up as he lurched forward and vomited into the bucket he had been given.
"Is there sky doctors? Can we call a sky ambulance?" Sips asked, cocking his head.
"We're on the ground, Sips."
"I mean, if they have sky cops, they probably have sky ambulances," Honeydew rejoined.
"Sky 999," Lalna corroborated.
"I don't think I'll be needing a sky ambulance," Xephos stressed, furrowing his brows. "I'm not that sick."
"Well, you're fairly sick," Lalna argued gently, standing up once again to tower over all four of the men. "But not sick enough for the sky ambulance to come and get you. We'll get you back to bed and hook you up with some water, yeah? It looks like it's just a flu - pretty bad flu, though."
"That's a flu?" Sips scoffed. "Jesus! He looks half-dead!"
"It might be because his biology's different," Lalna offered.
"Simon's a dwarf and he didn't get sick," Sjin interjected.
"Because dwarves are strong, mate."
"Mm, he'll probably end up sick in no time draped all over Xephos like that."
"Aww. Friendship."
"That's what I'll put on your tombstones," Sips yawned. "Died of Friendship. I assume you'll have like, a tandem grave or some shit."
"Oh, that sounds lovely," Simon snorted, hopping off of the platform. "Right, we should get him to bed then, yeah?"
"I'll get the water," Sips grinned. "I'm the master of bucket-fetching now."
"I'll carry Xephos," Lalna stated, carefully taking the bucket from Xephos' hands and lifting the spaceman onto his back. "Probably the only one tall enough for his gangly ass."
"Rude," Xephos chided, resting his head against Duncan's back and letting his eyes fall closed.
His friends were all absurd, and he had never been happier to have them.