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Chapter Text

Everyone always told him how wonderful it felt to shift. How changing for the first time felt like opening a new lens and experiencing the world again for the first time. His father used to tell him of how he and his mom would run around through the desert for hours on end, a smile never failing to grow on his face at the memory.

Keith longed for the day he would shift. He wondered what he would be. Wolves were most common, while foxes or coyotes were simply outliers. Since is dad was a wolf, it would be safe to assume he would be too, but he didn’t know what his mom was- his dad would never tell him- so what he’d end up as was up in the air.

 It wasn’t just him either. All of the kids in his class wouldn’t stop talking about it, despite them all being years too young to start shifting. But the years of waiting couldn’t stop the anticipation boiling inside the children. They always spoke about piling or hunting with their packs and friends. Keith wasn’t as obsessed with hunting as most of his peers, but he was always so excited when his dad came home with a fresh kill for dinner. With his job, he didn’t go out much, so he knew that there was always something special going on when he came to the house with some rabbits or, on really special occasions, a mule deer. Now that was a feast! He’d love to help his dad. Most families had big packs to help them track down prey, but with Keith, it was just him and his dad. And he couldn’t exactly do much as a shift-less child.

Still, he could enjoy a nice cuddle with his dad, as both a human and a wolf (though, secretly he liked the wolf form better. He would always snuggle up in the fur to get warm in the cold desert night).

One time in class, the teacher decided to indulge his class in a lesson about shifting. Their first time wouldn’t hit until their early teens, but they were all so eager, she felt obligated to give them something.

But rather than talking about hunting or proper shifting techniques or pack bonding, or even what it’s like to shift for the first time, she instead told them about non-shifters. The class’s excitement had quickly been replaced with confusion and dread. Apparently, though they are even rarer than foxes or coyotes, people who don’t have another skin do exist. They’re just like everyone else, they just can’t shift. This confused many children, Keith included. How could a person not shift? Humans are supposed to have another form.

“True,” she had said, “but sometimes they don’t. We don’t know why, but the only form that they have is the one they were born with.”

One boy had started crying.

Many of the others filled the room with an uproar, terrified that they wouldn’t be able to shift. How would they live without it? Keith, admittedly, was also scared, shaking slightly in his plastic chair. Would his dad be disappointed? He never knew what his mom was- did she even have another form? She must’ve! She used to run with his dad! He said so! And his dad wouldn’t lie to him! Would he?

In the midst of the tantrums, his teacher quickly jumped to calm them all down. What she said next stuck with him:

“But remember, children,” she said with a the most sincere voice she could manage with eight-year olds, “even if you are an Immut, you will not be any less than shifters, do you understand? Whether or not a person can shift doesn’t determine your worth.”

The class calmed down a little bit after that- the boy had stopped crying, at least- but Keith was still on edge. What if he wasn’t able to shift?  

Thinking back, Keith now wished that had been the case.

---

“Keith, are you sure you don’t want to go hunting with us? This is the first time we’ve been on an actual planet in forever!”

His gut clenched as Hunk said “hunting,” straining to pass off as though nothing strange had happened. Hunting was totally normal, especially within a functioning pack like they (technically) were with Voltron. Sure, typical packs didn’t usually have two alien lion-shifters, but they made it work. Or at least, they did the best they could.

“Sorry,” he said, turning to look at Hunk and Pidge, both of which were still trying to find a way to make him shift. “I already told you guys I can’t shift.” Lie. “Besides, I think I should just get some training in, maybe try the next level.”

Pidge eyed him skeptically and crossed her arms. She could tell that there was something off with his claim, but she, nor anyone else, has called him out on it yet. Still, they aren’t too happy with him. He’s heard them all theorize that he can actually shift, and no one likes someone who refuses to shift with the rest of their pack.

“Can’t or won’t?”

He flinched at her snap. He tried not to make the move obvious, but the damage was done. Her words filled him with nausea. He couldn’t help it, really. How could he not? Whenever he shifted around others, it never went well. Even with them, who he considers family, he can’t help but fear for his life whenever hunting or shifting (or, god forbid, both together) come into question.

Shiro insisted that the others didn’t care that he didn’t shift with them, but Pidge’s reaction made it very obvious that they were anything but. He’s never been a part of an actual pack before, but he at least knew that pack members weren’t supposed to be like him.

“Pidge ,” Hunk scolded. He turned back to Keith, who froze like his eyes were two headlights, sealing him in place beneath their gaze. “You know, you don’t have to shift. We’d be happy just having you there! Besides, you can count this as training time if you use your bayard!”

He could tell that Hunk was being genuine; he just wanted him to actually be a part of the team outside of Voltron stuff. But despite Hunk’s encouraging attitude, his adrenal glands seems to have a different take on Hunk’s proposal.

Hunt, bad. Stay, good.

“I- uh- just.” He took a breath to stabilize himself. “I’m sorry. I think I’ll just stay here. You guys go have out, I’ll be fine by myself. Besides, someone should stay in the Castle with Coran.”

“Oh. Well… have fun? We’ll see you after.”

“Uh, yeah, see you.”

Hunk glanced down at Pidge, who has taken to staring at the wall, trying to avoid looking at Keith. He gently swatted her shoulder.

Pidge let out an aggravated huff, managing to mumble out “fine” before pivoting on her heel and practically stomping away. Hunk sent him an apologetic smile before jogging to catch up with her.

A young, naive part of him did want to go, like the child in him who was still looking forward to the day he’d be able to help his dad bring home a special dinner, maybe even surprise him with his own kill. But he knew what would happen if he went out with a fully shifted pack of wolves. They may not know what he is, but the primal fear inside him always found a way to come out and haunt him.

No, it was best for him to stay away. As much for his sake as theirs.

Besides, it’s not like he really eats meat now anyways. He’d eat chicken or fish, but he doubted they’d be going for small birds or trying to catch fish with fishing rods in their paws. No, this hunt, much like the ones on earth with his dad, was a special event. It was their first trip to a planet that didn’t involve removing the Galra. They all, Keith included, missed actually being on land instead of stuck in a metal spaceship or robot lions.

He didn’t really feel like training anymore, but he said he would, so it’d be suspicious if he didn’t. Pushing the thought of hunting out of his mind, he headed towards the training deck.

~~

Despite the nausea still clinging to his stomach, he managed to get through three levels of training. Less than normal, but he’ll give himself a break this time. In hindsight, having something attack him while he still had hunting on his mind probably wasn’t the best idea.

He should just get cleaned up and at least appear okay before the others get back. Having the team think there was more wrong with him was the last thing he wanted.

His boots clicked on the Castle’s metal floors and pristine walls as he walked down the hallways to his room. Being the only one there, it was completely silent except for his shoes. It was kind of unsettling. He almost wished he had gone outside. At least there there would be noise. Here, the eerie silence set off his anxiety, raising his heart rate ever so slightly.

People may assume that animals hated noise. That it would set off alarm bells, signalling them that danger was approaching. But they couldn’t be more wrong. Sure, they might instinctively run away at the sound of a twig breaking or a predator growling, but those noises usually proceed silence. Noise meant safety. Noise meant that there wasn’t something stalking you. Noise meant that their wasn’t something trying it’s best to keep itself quiet. It meant that you weren’t being hunted.

“BOO!!”

Someone jumped out from around the corner, just in front of Keith. Before he could identify it, he instinctively swung out, realizing all too late that it was Lance.

“-the heck, Keith!” Lance snapped, his voice distorted through the hand held to his, probably, broken nose.

Shit .

He took a step back as he saw blood sneaking through Lance’s fingers.

“I- shit- sorry- I- I didn’t realize it was you.”

“I told you it wouldn’t work.”

A smug Pidge walked out from the same corner Lance did, though she didn’t attempt to (and succeed at) scaring him. She pulled out a towel and handed it to Lance, as though she expected Keith to have a violent response to Lance’s plot.

“That what wouldn’t work?” Keith asked.

She turned to him, her smug grin vanishing and being replaced with a similar expression to when he rejected going hunting.

“He was trying to see if scaring you would make you shift.”

 Oh.

He felt himself go pale. No, shifting would be a bad idea. Too often, shifting with others around had gotten him nearly killed. Simply put, they tried to eat him.

“Oh- I- uh-”

“Yeah, I know, ‘you can’t,’ ” she said flatly, still holding the glare.

His hands curled into fists to keep his fingers from fidgeting. His throat felt dry, its walls scratching against each other. He licked his lips in a desperate attempt to rid himself of the heat spreading through his veins. Adrenalin was not his friend right now.

“Right,” he finally managed.

A long silence followed.

“I’m going to get this cleaned up,” Lance said, breaking the silence.

Without even giving him another glance, he turned back around the corner and headed off to the med bay.

Pidge hadn’t left with him.

“So…” he tried, “how was the planet?”

He couldn’t bring himself to say “hunting.” Not now, at least.

Despite her harsh glare she adamantly kept around Keith, she looked surprised. He couldn’t blame her; he was surprised at himself. He could barely look at her and Hunk when they invited him.

“It was… nice. Not as good as on Earth, but it was fun to run around on an actual planet. I’m not much of a nature person, but even I have to get outside with my other skin once in a while, you know?”

She deflated at her last words.

So much for that good moment….

But he surprised her, continuing, “We didn’t catch anything big though, just a few rabbit-like creatures. Hunk did manage to find some plants and herbs he wanted to try in some recipes though.” A snicker escaped her lips. “Can you believe it? We go hunting-” Keith flinched- “and Hunk brings back plants . Honestly, the guy is all sorts of weird.”

He smiled back at her, surprisingly relaxed at the casualness of it. He’d have to enjoy it while he could.

“I can’t wait to try it.”

“Yeah, it should be pretty good with that rabbit we caught.”

Aaaaand… moment’s over.

He looked down to the floor, shuffling his feet uncomfortably, desperately wishing to be back in his room.

Pidge must’ve noticed his quick mood change, because her body language changed in suit.

They were left in another long moment of silence. He almost prepared to leave and clean off the sticky sweat from training (and from this encounter), but Pidge spoke up again:

“Shiro caught some fish for you.”

He looked up.

“He did?”

Even with everything Shiro’s done for him already, it still hit him that he would go through the extra effort to accomodate for him. People haven’t exactly eager to help out the discipline case who wouldn’t cooperate or follow along with what everyone else does. It was comforting to know that there was still someone who wasn’t bothered with all the baggage he carried with him.

Pidge folded her arms, taking to gazing at the wall as though it was addressing her instead of Keith.

“Yeah, he was pretty insistent about taking time out of hunting to get something. He seems pretty considerate of that weird diet of yours.”

“Being a pescitarian isn’t that weird,” he insisted.

It actually was odd to be a pescitarian, or someone who has any kind of restrictive diet that wasn’t founded in medical necessity or a desire to have a certain body type for that matter. Wolves weren’t exactly known for their love of salads. Not non-existent, just very uncommon. The only reason Keith didn’t take up being a vegetarian- like his other skin would very much like him to- was because completely removing meat from his diet would severely deplete the energy he needed to function in the strenuous physical activities that he did. He wasn’t too keen on taking pills for extra proteins.

“Sure,” she answered, rolling her eyes, “And I’m a six-foot tall hyena.”

They both laughed at that.

Once it subsided, Pidge took a step back, the flat look returning.

“I’m going to go check on Lance. You know how dramatic he can get.”

Strange, why was his heart pounding?

“Yeah,” he huffed, suddenly feeling light-headed.

Was it getting stuffy in here?

She turned to leave, heading back around the corner.

Why are his hands shaking again?

He swallowed and released a shaky breath as she vanished from view. By now, his body was covered in a layer of cold sweat, his heart rate nowhere near slowing.

No matter what comes at him right now, he can handle it. He’s safe.

He is not prey.

Chapter Text

Keith hadn’t expected to join the Garrison. He hadn’t expected to join anything, really. He was something of a pariah when it came to social interactions, especially packs. 

Packs were a treasured thing. They’ve changed somewhat over time, become less traditional and structured, but the purpose of it remains the same: a place to belong, to feel safe, to have a family. They piled together, hunted together, sometimes bathed together, others even raised children together. They were as close as people could get. It was a natural urge of humans to be connected with others. 

He never had an official pack before. It’s always just been him and his dad, not enough people to actually be called a pack. It had always been enough for him, but after his dad died, he hoped to find some people he could call his pack, but… 

No one wants a person in their pack who refuses to shift. 

He told himself that it was for the best. Seeing people in their other form always made him nervous anyways, never failing to bring back memories of teeth and pain. It was better like this, alone with no chance of being discovered. 

No chance of being eaten. 

Which is why he was skeptical of Shiro’s interest in him. Why would he care so much about this packless kid who no one liked? What was his motive? 

Did he know? a small part of him feared. 

No, he couldn’t. There was no way he could have found out. Even if he did, why confront him in this roundabout way instead of just shifting and attacking? 

He shoved the thoughts away, refusing to give in to that side of his brain. He is not prey. 

Regardless, he intended on keeping away form people. Better safe than sorry, as they say. 

But Shiro had gotten in his head, telling him that he has worth, despite everything anyone else ever told him. He never shifted, but Shiro wanted him anyway. He encouraged him to join the Garrison, to have a place to belong, with him. He… wanted him to be a part of his pack. Keith was untrusting and overly defensive, but Shiro wanted him. 

He never even asked him to shift. Not since the first time, when Keith went wild at the mention of hunting. Then he never brought it up again. He never asked why or pushed him to “get over it.” He never refuted his claim that he couldn’t shift. 

Why was he so different? Why did he not care? Why did he accept Keith when no one else would? 

He didn’t understand. But had to find out.  

“I’ll join the Garrison.” 

Those words set it all off. That one decision changed his life. It terrified him. The thought of being constantly surrounded by other shifters in close proximity made him shake, but he made his decision. Maybe Shiro was right. Maybe he was tired of being alone. Maybe he shouldn’t keep hiding away from predators, always living in fear of being discovered. Maybe he could belong here. 

Or maybe he just made a big mistake. 

~~

“You what?”

“I punched him,” Keith groaned, dropping his head into his hand. 

He looked up at Shiro, expecting anger for his impulsiveness, but instead found his face full of concern. Some shock, sure, but mainly concern. 

“How come?” he asked softly, careful not to raise his voice. 

“I just… reacted. He snuck up on me and I panicked. I thought someone had infiltrated the Castle or something, so I attacked. Didn’t occur to me that it was just Lance.” 

Despite Shiro’s calm demeanor, Keith was still stiff in the lounge’s seat. Guess the years of being yelled at by teachers or threatened by his peers still hasn’t left him. 

“Well, it’s not like you meant to hurt him.” Keith sagged in relief. “Besides, Lance shouldn’t have tried to get you shift like that. I’ll talk to him about it. Pidge too.” 

He gave Shiro a grateful smile. Guess he did make the right decision in trusting him. 

The short moment of silence was broken when the doors slid open, proceeded by Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, their chattering abruptly stopping at the sight of the two of them. Keith forced himself not to flinch when he saw the band covering Lance’s nose. Great , he broke it. He’ll probably get an earful of how he ruined his “perfect face.” 

“Hey, guys!” Hunk exclaimed, oblivious to the tension. “We were just coming in here to take a break. Organizing spices and herbs can take a lot out of you!” 

He chuckled lightly, glancing at Lance and Pidge for some kind of confirmation, but froze when he saw them avoiding looking at them, specifically Keith. Keith couldn’t help but do the same. The less conflict between them, the better. Looking would just provoke them. 

“So, anyways,” he continued awkwardly, “I was hoping to use what we found on the planet for tonight’s dinner! It should be fun to experiment with them!” He directed his attention to Keith. “The fish should be fun, too! My family used to make fish all the time, so I can’t wait to see what I can do with it!” 

Bless Hunk. 

“Oh-uh-” he stumbled, “thanks.” 

“Weirdo,” Lance teased.

Keith just glared at him. He got enough of this from Pidge, he didn’t need it from Lance too. 

“ Lance ,” Shiro chided. “That’s enough.” 

Lance grumbled, but obeyed, not saying anything more about it. 

“Well!” Pidge started loudly, causing Hunk to jump, “now that that’s over-” she walked forward, plopping down next to Shiro opposite of Keith- “I need to relax.” 

Keith raised a brow. 

“From what?” 

“I am very tired out!” she exclaimed dramatically. “Hunting happens to be a lot of work, Keith!” She paused, then lowered her voice to a whisper- “Not that you’d know anything about it.” 

Keith flinched and turned away. 

“Pidge!” Shiro snapped. “What did I just say?” 

“You said not to talk about Keith’s weird fish diet!” she argued. 

“Pidge…” he warned. 

“What? He never goes out with us! We’re supposed to be a team and he can’t even stand to go hunting with us!” 

Hunk cut in, “Come on, Pidge, there’s more to packs than just hunting…” 

Pidge opened her mouth to shoot back another angry jab at Keith, but Shiro stopped her. 

“Pidge, enough.” 

Hunk piped up, “Hey! Why don’t we try piling?”

Keith froze.

“We haven’t done it in a while and it’ll help with all this stress. Plus ...” he looked over at Pidge, “it’d be great for bonding!” 

Despite her anger, Pidge’s mouth curled into a small smile. 

“Oh, hell yes!” Lance shouted, pumping his fist. “Man, I’ve missed doing that.” 

“Yeah, that… actually sounds fun,” she agreed. Then she noticed Keith’s reluctance and turned sour again. “Or not.” 

“It’s fine,” Keith said before Shiro could scold her again. “You guys go ahead. I’ll just, uh, train or something.” 

Something. Most likely something.  

Hunk frowned. “Aw, come on, Keith. You don’t have to shift. Just stay with us.” 

Keith was uncertain about that. It wasn’t such a good idea for him to be around when people were shifted. He always avoided it back on Earth, but he hasn’t been quite as successful after finding the blue lion. Every once in a while, he’d run into one of the others shifted just walking around the hallway, even the Alteans. He’d nearly had a heart attack when he saw an orange or white lion lounging around. In hindsight, it does make sense that different species would shift into different animals. Even humans have different forms.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t think-”  

“It’s okay, Keith,” Shiro said gently. “No one is going to force you into this. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” 

He eyed Pidge and Lance as he said that last part. 

Thank god for Shiro. What he’d do without him, he didn’t know. Not be in the middle of a war, for one, but that’s beside the point. 

Keith looked between all of them. Pidge and Lance still looked pretty bitter. He can’t blame them, really. He’s been avoiding them all since they got here. Hunk, thankfully, didn’t seem mad, just disappointed. Guess he really wanted him to join in, too. But… he can’t. They’re all predators. How is he supposed to be around them? 

He turned back to Shiro, who still held his calm expression. Keith could tell he wanted him to stay, just like the others did. But he wasn’t disappointed like them; he’d support him if he decided to leave, just like he always does. 

“No,” he said quietly, surprising everyone, himself included. “It’s okay, I’ll stay.” 

Shiro looked at him with wide eyes. “Keith, are you sure? You don’t have to force yourself.” 

“I’m sure,” he said, not really sure at all. But he said he’d stay, and he won’t go back on his word. “Just… you know… without me shifting.” 

Pidge grumbled, clearly still not convinced that he can’t shift, but she kept it at that. Guess the fact that he decided to stay for piling lifted her mood. Even Lance seemed less upset with him (which isn’t much, considering Lance’s idea that Keith was his rival, but he’d take it). 

With that settled, others gave a quick glance to each other, then began to strip down to the skin tight undergarments the Alteans had given them. Before coming to the Castle, packs would have to be completely naked in order to shift, unless they planned on ruining their clothes. It wasn’t really acceptable to do so in public, but it was a natural, shameless act among pack members. But as they got accustomed to the Castle, the Alteans had insisted on them wearing the garments, which were specifically designed to interact with the individual who wore it, so shifting in it was no issue. 

The paladins were a bit hesitant about the idea at first, but they warmed up to it eventually. Plus they were still getting used to thinking of each other as a pack at that point, so it hadn’t bothered them as much. 

Keith, for one, was glad they had them on now. Since he never had a pack before, he hasn’t really had the chance to adjust to having people undress around him before shifting. 

He monitored his breaths, keeping each one slow and consistent as they discarded the rest of their clothes. He couldn’t afford to freak out now, not after he made it this far.

I’m not prey.  

He repeated this to himself, over and over. He thought of Shiro’s comforts, promising him that he’ll be okay and that he won’t be alone anymore. But that small attempt to distract himself was for naught when Shiro started to shift. 

Bones twisted and gave a sickening crunch under his skin, black fur sprouted from all over his body like a wave as he fell down on all fours, finally ending as his scarred muzzle elongated with his tongue hanging out. Even his artificial arm had shifted with him into a terrifying metallic paw, completely armed with deadly claws that could tear through him like paper. He was clearly excited to finally be a wolf again, panting happily as the others changed too, but all Keith could focus on were the teeth. Memories of teeth and hot saliva filled his mind, spiking adrenaline through his veins. 

He had to leave. He had to get out of here. Run away and hide. They’ll kill him! Get out before they eat you!  

NO!!

He bit his tongue, flinching at the slightest taste of iron, but it pulled him out of his pit of terror. He said he’d stay and he will. No more. He was tired of always living in fear! Maybe coming here was a chance to change that. All he had to do was stay and prove to himself that he’s not a slave to his other side’s instincts. 

Just stay . 

The others had all finished shifting, leaving Keith surrounded by four wolves: two black, one light brown, and one dark brown. Measured breaths kept him sane. Any faster would send him into a panic, maybe even causing him to shift on accident (wouldn’t be the first time). 

A quiet whine brought him back to the lounge. Shiro looked over to him, his black wolf eyes full of concern. Glancing around, Keith saw that Hunk’s held the same expression. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. When was the last time he ever saw that look on a wolf? His dad? Never? He couldn’t get over how foreign it looked on the creatures. The only image of wolves he’s had in his head for the longest time has been one thing: hunger. 

Maybe this was a good idea. Sure, Pidge was still eyeing him with a predator’s stare, waiting for the moment when he’d run away to be by himself, just like he always does. But he could ignore that, at least a little. As terrified as he was, Shiro was here. And Shiro would never hurt him. 

Just when he thought he was going to be okay, a warm wetness ran over his hand. His head snapped down, finding a brownish black wolf licking him. The gesture was probably meant to be comforting, but Keith’s mind went in a completely different direction: 

It wants to eat me . 

Without thinking, his other hand slapped away the wolf’s muzzle. Too close, too close . He kicked it away and scrambled out of the seat, ignoring its yelping, and ran frantically out of the lounge. It licked me . He maneuvered into the halls purely on instinct. 

Footsteps followed behind him. Were they human or wolf? He couldn’t tell. All he knew was that they were running. After him. He was being chased. 

In his panic, he just barely felt horns peaking through his hair. 

No! He couldn’t shift now! They’ll see him. They can’t see him. Not like this!

He forced himself to go faster, ignoring how his hands and feet were hardening, how it became more difficult to keep himself upright.

Just keep running , he told himself, You can make it . 

Where, he didn’t know. But he couldn’t let himself get caught. So he kept running, through the halls and around the corners of the Castle’s maze. 

WHAM!

His escape came to a sudden halt as he ran into someone, sending them both down onto the metal floors. The shock was enough to bring him to his senses, allowing him to send away any trace of non-human features.

That’s when he felt the pain. He must’ve hit his head during the fall. He blinked, trying to ignore the pulsing as he looked to who he hit. 

“ What in the blue blazes-”  

“Coran?"

He blinked to clear away the last of the blurriness. Yup. The Altean was right where he ran into him… with a big bump on his forehead (probably matching one he had on his own forehead). 

“Keith! What in the name of King Groggery are you doing?”

“I- uh-” He cleared his throat, scrambling to his feet to help Coran. “Sorry. I.. wasn’t looking.” 

He cringed at his lame excuse, but Coran didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy fussing over the comically large bump protruding from his head, mumbling something incomprehensible as he prodded at it. 

Keith looked down at his hand, making sure he hadn’t missed transforming the rest of his body back. Everything seemed fine. No one saw. He was safe. 

It was then that he remembered that he was being chased. He stiffened at the thought of one 

“Are you alright? You seem rather panicked.” 

The footsteps Keith had heard before were starting to catch up to him. He paled at the thought. 

He ducked around the old Altean, away from both of them. He can’t deal with this right now. Not after what he did in the lounge. 

“Keith, wait!” 

Shiro’s voice. Maybe under different circumstances, that realization would’ve calmed him enough to see reason. Unfortunately, this was not one of those circumstances. 

But something felt off: he couldn’t run right. He wasn’t transforming again, he wasn’t running like before. No, this was different. Why couldn’t he feel his legs? Why does everything feel numb? Why was everything so blurry all of a sudden? 

The floor rushed up at him. 

“Agh!” 

“Keith!” 

He groaned, trying and failing to pull himself up. 

Shiro quickly caught up to him, kneeling beside him and gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder. Keith just blinked at him, trying to get rid of the spinning. He focused for a moment, taking a look around the hallway. It was just him and Shiro, no Coran in sight. 

Keith couldn’t help but be relieved. It’s not like he didn’t like Coran, but he really didn’t want to deal with that ADHD energy right now. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered at the floor. “I panicked.”

Because that’s what always happened. He tries to be normal, tries to just fit in for once, and he ruins it, just like he ruins everything. 

But despite the disaster that he just witnessed, Shiro only said, “Okay, let’s get you to your room.” 

Gently, he hooked his hand under Keith’s arm and hoisted him up. Keith pressed his free arm against the wall, cool against his skin drenched in sweat, and slowly pulled his weight up. 

Why does he even bother? He clearly can’t keep it together. He hit someone. Again. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just be normal? He always messes this shit up. He was an idiot to think he could actually fit in somewhere. 

Pidge was right, he knows nothing about being a pack member. That nice world of theirs is a warzone for him. Staying for even a second could end his life. 

After managing to get back on both feet, he, with Shiro carrying most of his weight by the arm, began walking toward his room. 

Shiro occasionally glanced down at Keith, but he ignored every attempt, and instead focused all his energy into boring holes in his shoes. He couldn’t just pretend that he didn’t mess up again. What was Shiro thinking? He should know that he can’t just coddle him forever. No matter what either of them want, this is the result. Whenever he tries to be normal, he ends up paying the price. Even Shiro had to understand that. 

A horrible thought occurred just then:

He didn’t hit Shiro , did he? 

“Shiro?”

“Hm?” He looked down with concern. “What is it?” 

“When I… hit that wolf… I didn- that wasn’t you, was it?” 

“That wasn’t your fault, Keith. We all know how you feel about shifting; no one blames you for reacting like that.” 

“So it was you.” 

“Keith-”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stayed. You guys were trying to have a nice time and I just messed it up.”

“Woah, Keith, calm down. It wasn’t me. And you don’t have to feel bad about what happened back there. It took a lot to make that decision in the first place. It’s okay if you’re not ready for more. I’m proud of you for getting that far. But we can’t expect you to get into this all at once.” 

He was tempted to mention Pidge, but he kept his mouth shut. He really didn’t feel like arguing with him right now. Besides, they already reached his room. 

Before opening the door, Keith paused. 

“So… who was it, then?” 

Shiro sighed. 

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll sort it out later, okay?” 

After everything that just happened, he didn’t have the energy to protest, so he just nodded, slowly stepping his way into his darkened room. Without bothering to turn on the lights, he robotically trudged inside, almost collapsing on his bed. He sat there, numbingly still as Shiro followed him in. He paused by the bed before sitting down next to Keith.

It was eerily silent. Keith hated that. He enjoyed quiet, but that was different than silence. Quiet is peaceful. Like when he lived in the desert, he could close his eyes and hear the wind blow the dust against the wooden walls of his shack, the soft humm of his bike’s motor as he overlooked the cliffs, the small animals coming out of hiding from their burrows to find food. Just life going about itself. But silence…

Silence was deafening. 

In nature, silence means danger. Silence means that everything around noticed something off. Silence means that something has come to ruin their quiet peace. When the birds don’t even sing and the woods go dead, filled with mute breaths and racing hearts. 

Noise means safety.  

Silence means a predator was ready to pounce. 

“When was the last time you shifted?”