Chapter Text
Ebony broke the silence, “Did that really happen?”
“Either that or we’re all really drunk,” Ned laughed nervously.
“Well, then I guess that really did happen, because I KNOW I’m not drunk,” Bray laughed.
Marcus bent down to check on the Guardian. He looked up at Ebony, “He’s dead.”
Ebony nodded, “Let’s get him out of here. Marcus, round up the people who were working with him and bring them back to the hotel.”
“Do I bring Martin, too?” Marcus asked.
“No, he goes with Bray,” Ebony answered.
Marcus nodded and rounded up the chosen while the Mall Rats gathered their children.
“Okay, I think we need to talk about this,” Jay announced.
“I agree, but we’re all drained right now. I just want to go home and hug all my children,” Amber said looking down at her daughter.
“Why don’t you all come to the farm and we can talk about all of this there,” Alice told them.
“I’ll drive you back,” Ebony offered.
Once they got back to the farm, Bray went up to check on Tai-San. She was waiting for him, “Is everything all right?”
Bray sat down on her bed and looked into her eyes, “I saw my brother.”
Tai-San raised her eyebrow, “Martin is alive?”
“No, he and Zandra just appeared in the warehouse and saved the day. I know it sounds like I’ve been drinking again, but I’m telling the truth,” Bray said.
Tai-San laughed and reached for his hand, “I know you’re telling the truth. I’ve always known that the spirits of our dead ancestors walk among us. They usually don’t let themselves be seen. Why did they appear?”
“The Guardian was trying to convince Martin to kill Butterfly. My brother and Zan appeared out of nowhere and they saved the day,” Bray explained.
“How is our son?” Tai-San asked.
“He didn’t say anything on the way back here and as soon as the truck stopped he ran up to his room. I was going to give him a few minutes and then I was going to talk to him,” Bray said as he stood up.
“Don’t push him, Bray. Let the healers talk to him. I think the Guardian twisted his mind. Remember how Trudy was when she returned to us?” Tai-San asked.
Bray nodded so she continued, “We have to be careful with him or we’ll never get our son back.”
“Are you feeling well enough to come downstairs? I think Alice is fixing us something to eat,” Bray said as he opened the door.
“I think I’ll just stay up here with our son for a little while. I’ll be down later,” Tai-San said as she got up to look at her sleeping son.
“Have you decided what you want to name him?” Bray asked.
“I’m looking for the perfect name. You’ll be the first to know when I’ve found it,” Tai-San said.
Bray left Tai-San and went back downstairs. Tai-San stood looking at her son for a long time. When he started to cry she reached down and picked him up, “Shh, my little one. Everything is going to be okay now. Your uncle fixed everything.”
Downstairs, everyone was talking about what happened. Ebony had changed her mind and stayed.
“Why would they have chosen tonight to appear? I mean why didn’t they come to us when the Technos attacked?” Ned asked.
“Because tonight was different. If Martin had killed Butterfly, all our lives would have been permanently changed. You heard Zan, she wasn’t even supposed to come down to us,” Salene said.
“I wish she could’ve stayed,” Alexandra said.
“Honey, she died a long time ago. She can’t just decide to leave heaven and come back,” Alice pointed out.
“But it’s not fair! I never go to know her! I want my mother!” Alexandra cried.
“Alex, I think you’re upsetting mommy,” Dianne whispered when Amber started to cry.
Alexandra stood up, “She’s NOT my mother! Zandra is my mother and I want her back!” Alexandra shouted.
“Alexandra! What a horrible thing to say. Amber is your mother in every way that counts, you need to apologize to her,” Trudy said.
Alexandra stared at Trudy for a minute and then she started to leave the house.
Lex got up and walked over to her, “Where are you going?”
“Out of here! Maybe my mother will find a way to come back and be with me,” she said as she slammed the door.
Lex started to go after her, but Amber stopped him, “Let her go. This has to be hard for her. Zandra pops into her life and then pops out.”
“It was hard for all of us to see our loved ones again,” Bray pointed out.
Jaguar interrupted them, “It was hard for you, but imagine if you had never seen them before. Imagine how Alexandra feels. She never knew the angel Zandra. To her she was just your stories and your memories. She has none of her own to remember when she is sad. She only has your memories. She didn’t mean to hurt Amber. She just doesn’t know how to deal with her loss.”
“What loss? We all had the same loss,” Jack said confused.
Fawn stood up, “I think I know what she’s feeling. You all had time to mourn Zandra. You knew her when she was alive. Alexandra never knew her mother. I know if Pride had been there today, I would have felt the same way. It doesn’t matter that my daddy is Jaymes, I still would have been sad and upset that I only had a few minutes with Pride.”
She left the others to think about what she said and she went to find Alexandra. She found her sitting on the ground by Zandra’s grave. Fawn sat down next to her and didn’t say a word. She waited for Alexandra to speak. Alexandra finally turned to her and wiped the tears from her eyes before she spoke, “I’m so confused. I knew I was hurting my mother but I couldn’t stop. Nobody understands how hard it was for me to let Zandra go. I wanted to ask her all sorts of things that only she could answer. I want to know how she and daddy met, how they fell in love, how she felt when she knew she was going to have a baby. I want to know it all and now I can’t because she’s gone.”
“Alex, I understand. It’s the same for me, kind of. Pride died before I was born. I never got to ask him all those things either,” Fawn told her.
“But you have Trudy. She can tell you all that stuff,” Alexandra said.
“Why don’t you ask your father? Lex knows all that stuff about Zandra,” Fawn asked.
“But their life together started before the virus. He won’t talk about his life before; I tried. He just tells me he can’t talk about it. What could be so bad that he can’t tell me? It just makes me think he doesn’t care that I don’t know anything about my mother,” Alexandra said.
“Why don’t you talk to Amber? Maybe she can tell you what Zandra was like,” Fawn suggested.
“She has told me what she was like, but I want to know about her life before the virus. I know all about Amber’s life and Alice’s, and Ellie’s and Ned’s, but I want to know about Zandra’s. Didn’t Trudy tell you about her life before the virus?” Alexandra asked.
Fawn nodded, “She did, but you have to understand that some of our parents didn’t have an easy time before the virus. Maybe Lex had a bad childhood and he doesn’t want you to feel bad for him or maybe Zandra wasn’t as happy as we all think she was. Do you really want to know all that?”
“Yes, I want to know everything!” Alexandra insisted.
“Well, why don’t you talk to Amber again? If anyone can get Lex to do something, it’s her. But first, I think you need to tell your mother you’re sorry. You really hurt her when you said she wasn’t your mother,” Fawn said as she stood up. She reached down, took Alexandra’s hand in her own, and pulled her up. Alexandra looked at her and whispered, “What if she hates me now?”
Fawn laughed, “She’s your mother and she loves you. She isn’t going to hate you for what you said. Come one, let’s get inside before they send out a search party.”
Fawn and Alexandra walked into the farmhouse and into the middle of a fight.
“I am not sending my son away! He needs his family to help him through this,” Bray yelled.
“But he needs help, Bray. He kidnapped all the children and almost killed my daughter!” Lex yelled back.
“What do you want to do? Do you want him sent to the mines?” Bray asked.
“Nobody said anything about the mines, Bray. We just want Martin to get better. We know he isn’t responsible and that he was brainwashed, but we can’t pretend nothing happened,” Jaymes said calmly.
“Tai-San and I can help him through this. We don’t need any help,” Bray insisted.
“You need to be reasonable about this! None of us saw the signs! We aren’t equipped to help him!” Salene cried.
“Look, why don’t you all come home with us. It will be good for you to get away from the city,” Trudy said.
“I don’t want to leave the city. It’s my home. I wish you all would stop discussing this! It’s not your problem!” Bray shouted.
“Yes, it is our problem. We are still a tribe and if something affects one of us, it affects all of us. I know you’re feeling guilty that your son did all this, but that doesn’t matter now. All that matters is helping Martin. If the Gaians helped you why don’t you want them to help your son?” Alice asked.
Bray sighed, “I feel like a failure. Look at what I did to my wife, to Amber, to all of you. I failed you and I failed my son.”
“Bray, you made mistakes, granted you made a lot of mistakes, but don’t let your guilt stop you from getting help for your son. Don’t worry, we aren’t going to kick you out of the tribe,” Lex smirked.
Bray looked around the room at his friends’ faces; all he saw was concern. None of them showed any signs of blaming him for what happened. He knew they were right about getting help for Martin, but he still felt like a failure.
“Okay, we’ll go back with the Gaians as soon as Tai-San is able to travel,” Bray told them.
Jaymes smiled, “You made a wise decision.”
Amber noticed Fawn and Alexandra standing by the door. She stood up and looked at her daughter. Alexandra smiled at her and ran to hug her, “I’m so sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Amber hugged her and stroked her hair, “Don’t cry, Alex, I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s not talk about this right now. Let’s get something to eat and get some rest. We can talk about all this in the morning.”
Alice took that as her cue to start cooking. She got up and went into the kitchen to make something for them to eat. Her food always seemed to make everyone happy.
Later that evening after everyone was asleep, Alexandra crept outside and went to Zandra’s grave. She sat down and began talking to her, “Zan, I hope you don’t mind if I call you that. I want to call you mom, but it sounds weird. It was amazing to see you tonight, strange but amazing. It all happened so fast that it seems like a dream. I want to thank you for saving Butterfly. I was so scared when Martin had that knife to her little throat. You said you would listen to what I wanted to tell you, well, I hope you’re listening right now. It’s hard sometimes not knowing about your childhood. I know all about Amber’s, but nothing about yours or Daddy’s. He won’t talk about his life before the virus. Fawn suggested it might be because his life wasn’t so good before. He won’t talk about your life before either. All he tells me is about your life at the mall. I don’t want to hurt Amber or make daddy upset, but I feel like part of me is missing. I wish you could talk to me. I wish you could tell me everything.”
Alexandra was so absorbed in talking to Zandra that she didn’t hear Julian come up behind her. He touched her and she jumped, “Jules! You scared me!”
“I saw you leave and I got worried. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but…”
“But you heard everything I said, right?” Alexandra said.
Julian nodded, “Why are you so obsessed with Zandra’s life before the virus?”
“Don’t you know everything about your parents lives?” Alexandra asked.
Julian stared at her for a few minutes, “Alex, do you realize what you just asked me? If you meant Salene and Ryan, then yes I know everything. But I don’t know who my real parents were, let alone anything about their past. At least you know something about Zandra.”
Alexandra threw her arms around Julian’s neck, “Jules, I’m such a selfish brat! I am so stupid for saying that. I’m sorry.”
Julian pulled her away from him and kissed her, “You aren’t selfish, Alex. You’ve had a rough night. Why don’t we go back inside and get some sleep. In the morning, I’ll talk to my dad and see if he can get Lex to open up about Zandra’s childhood.”
“You’d do that for me?” Alexandra asked excitedly.
“Of course I would. I would do anything for you,” he promised.
Morning came and the farmhouse was bustling with activity. Ebony told the others she was going back to the hotel to get Jay, Siva, and Ram. She felt they owed Siva and Ram an apology.
“I think we owe them our thanks also,” Salene pointed out.
Bray nodded, “Siva saved my son from that monster. I will be forever grateful to her. It humbles me that she didn’t hesitate to save him, even after all the rotten things I said to her over the years.”
“Siva isn’t like that. She never felt any anger towards you,” Amber told him.
“I think we need to have a talk with our irresponsible children,” Trudy said as she frowned at Brady and Ghany.
“I agree,” Salene said.
“Let’s do this outside, away from the others,” Amber said as she pulled Alexandra towards the door.
Lex, Trudy, Salene, Jaymes and Ryan led their children outside. Trudy looked at all their solemn faces and tried not to laugh. She was angry with them but they all looked like they were getting ready to go to the mines.
“You four are the most irresponsible kids I know. You guys are the oldest. You’re supposed to be setting an example for the younger ones. What did you think you were doing letting Martin take Lianla?” Jaymes asked.
“Dad, we were afraid you would kill Martin. Li said she heard you tell Jay that you would kill whoever was responsible,” Ghany said.
“Ghany, have you ever known your father to harm a child?” Trudy asked.
“No, but you were all so angry. We just wanted to get the kids back so you’d stop yelling all the time,” Ghany answered.
“Do you realize how much danger you put Butterfly in? If you hadn’t been able to convince the militia that you knew where they were, Martin would have killed her,” Jaymes told them.
“We didn’t know Martin had taken her. We only found that out when we were following him. We didn’t mean to put her in danger,” Julian protested.
“That’s not the point. We want you to understand that what you did was wrong. We also want you to come to us with any problems you have. You don’t ever need to be afraid of us,” Trudy told them.
“We understand,” Alexandra said speaking for the others.
“Okay, enough frowning! It’s over and no one was hurt, that’s the most important thing. Let’s go back inside and wait for Ebony to get back. We better all start thinking about what we’re going to say to Siva and Ram. I for one owe them a huge apology,” Jaymes said as they all went back inside.
Ebony arrived a few minutes later. Everyone gathered in the living room. Ebony looked at her sister sitting next to Ram and smiled. Siva looked happy, she hadn’t looked this happy since before the virus.
She cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. When everyone stopped talking she spoke, “Ram, I want to tell you I’m sorry for accusing you of kidnapping our children. I jumped to conclusions because I didn’t believe you had changed.”
“Ebony, I don’t blame you for not trusting me. I did many bad things when I came to the city, but ten years locked in a little room with hardly any contact with the outside world opened my eyes. That is what I was planning to do to other people. I realized I was a horrible person and I didn’t like that,” Ram told her.
“I owe you both an apology, also. I had no right to attack you like I did. I just assumed, like Ebony did, that you were out for revenge. I hope you’ll accept my apology for what I said and what I did,” Jaymes said to Ram and Siva.
“At first I was furious that you would even think I had anything to do with the kidnapping, but after I thought about it, I understood how you could think it. Ram and I should have told you about our relationship from the start, but we were afraid of how you would react. I had been visiting Ram for about four months before he was released. After Jay let him go, I was afraid Ebony would find out we were together. So, I told Ram we needed to keep our relationship a secret until I decided if I really wanted to be with him. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to tell you, sis,” Siva said looking at Ebony.
“I understand and you’re right I would’ve been very angry. I don’t know why you love him, but if he makes you happy that’s all that matters,” Ebony told her.
Siva grabbed Ram’s hand and looked at her friends, “Since we’re all sharing our feelings and such, I have something I would like to tell you all. Ram and I are going to have a baby!”
The Mall Rats weren’t prepared for Siva’s announcement. It took them a few minutes to digest what she had said. Salene recovered first, “That’s wonderful news! How far along are you?”
Siva smiled, “About two months, I think. It could be a little less. Ebs? Are you okay? You look a little stunned.”
Ebony smiled and hugged her sister, “I’m okay. I'm a little shocked, but I'm okay. Are you sure this is what you want?”
Siva laughed, “It’s a little late to be asking me that. But yes, this is what I want. I feel content again for the first time since Java and the others died. Ram and I want to get married. I hope all of you will come to our wedding.”
Everyone assured her they would. Alice stood up, “Well, I think this calls for a celebration! Why don’t we plan a combination party for this weekend? A going away party for the Gaians and Bray’s family and an engagement party for you two.”
“I’d like that,” Siva said as she smiled at Ram. He pulled her close and hugged her. She hugged him back and whispered in his ear, “Now my life will be complete.”
Preparations were made for the party and the weekend arrived quickly. Alice was in the kitchen when everyone started arriving. When Julian entered Alexandra pulled him upstairs, “Did you talk to your father?”
“I did but…” Julian looked at Alexandra’s face and couldn’t go on.
“He said no. I am never going to know about Zandra!” Alexandra cried.
“You have to understand why he said no, Alex. My father is Lex’s best friend; he doesn’t want to betray his trust. Have you tried to talk to Amber again?” Julian asked.
“Not yet, I think it upsets her,” Alexandra told him.
Julian pulled her close and kissed her hair, “Let’s go downstairs to the party. Why don’t you wait until things calm down before you talk to Amber again?”
Alexandra nodded and they both went downstairs. The party was in full swing and everyone was laughing and dancing, even Martin. After they had dinner, Tai-San brought the baby downstairs.
“Have you named him yet?” Trudy asked.
“Hey, Trudy, give her time. Don’t you remember how long it took you to name Brady?” Amber joked.
“Yes, I do. And it took Salene calling her ‘little no name’ to make me find a name,” Trudy laughed.
Tai-San smiled, “Relax everyone, I’ve picked a name,”
“We’re dying to know! Tell us!” Salene laughed.
“His name is Calum. It’s a Celtic name meaning peace,” Tai-San told them.
Alice smiled, “Peace. I like it.”
“When are you guys leaving?” Ryan asked.
“In the morning, after breakfast,” Bray replied.
“We’re going to miss you,” Salene said sadly.
“We’ll be back, I promise,” Bray told her.
Lex left the others and went into the kitchen to see if there was any pie left over. He was putting the last piece on his plate when Alexandra entered the room.
“Daddy, can I talk to you?” She asked sitting down next to him.
“Of course you can. What’s wrong?” Lex asked putting a forkful of pie in his mouth.
“I want to ask you again to tell me about Zandra’s life before the virus and…”
Lex interrupted her, “Alex, we’ve been through this before.”
“But Daddy…” Alexandra whined.
“That’s not going to work this time. I told you once before and I’m telling you again, no. We’re finished discussing this,” Lex said as he got up and left the room.
Alexandra stayed in the kitchen and cried silently to herself.
The party lasted well into the evening and everyone decided to stay at the farm instead of going back to the city. Alice woke them up at dawn so that goodbyes could be made.
“Trudy, I’ve gotten used to having you around. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye,” Amber said through her tears.
“I’ll be back. I always am,” Trudy laughed as she hugged Amber.
Alice smiled at Trudy, “The house is going to seem empty with you gone.”
“Is that a nice way of saying you’re going to get your house back?” Jaymes joked.
“Never! I’m going to miss you guys,” Alice said as she hugged them.
Bray walked over and smiled at his friends, “I’ll miss you guys.”
“Come back soon,” Ryan said.
“We won’t be gone long,” Tai-San assured them.
Alexandra and Julian watched them leave. Julian turned to Alexandra, “What did your father say last night?”
“He said he was finished discussing the matter,” Alexandra said.
“Is this really important to you?” Julian asked.
“Of course it is! I don’t understand why he can’t see that,” Alexandra frowned.
“Well, then I suggest you talk to Amber. I know you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m sure she’ll understand,” Julian told her.
“I know she’ll understand, but I still feel bad about asking. She’s my mother and nothing I learn about Zandra will change that, but I feel like something is missing,” Alexandra said.
“Go talk to her,” Julian said as he pushed her toward the house.
Alexandra walked inside and found Amber in the kitchen with Alice. In her heart, she knew this was going to be the only way she was ever going to get any information about Zandra. She took a deep breath and spoke, “Mom, can we go somewhere to talk?”
Amber looked up and smiled, “Sure, Alex, let’s go upstairs.”
Alexandra followed Amber up to her room. When they went inside the room, Butterfly started to cry. Alexandra walked over to the crib and picked her up. She sat down on the bed next to her mother and took another deep breath, “I need to ask you to talk to Daddy for me.”
“What’s wrong Alex? Are you in some sort of trouble?” Amber asked.
“No, it’s not anything like that. I tried again yesterday to talk to him about Zandra but he refused to discuss her. I know it’s hard for him to remember her, but I really want to know about her life,” Alexandra pleaded.
“Honey, I know it’s hard for you to understand, but I think there are some parts of his life he’d rather forget. Unfortunately, some of those parts include the time he spent with Zandra,” Amber tried to explain.
“Mom, I know that, but…”
Amber smiled and put her arms around her daughter, “But you feel like something is missing because you don’t know about your real mother’s life.”
“I didn’t mean it like that…you’re my real mother!” Alexandra protested.
“Alex, I never once thought you were saying I wasn’t your real mother, but I still understand,” Amber said.
“Does that mean you’re going to talk to Daddy?” Alexandra said hopefully.
“Yes, I’ll talk to him. I will make sure he tells you everything you want to know,” Amber assured her.
Alexandra smiled, “I can’t wait! I finally get to learn about Zandra!”