Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I t's strange how the room is filled with laughter, happy faces and Disney songs, yet I stand in the middle feeling as if I could just disappear and no one would notice. No one at all. 

A crowded room can be the most emptiest of places. Just like my heart. Nothing but invisible smiles and fake laughter now, nothing but cold and noiseless singing. Eyes that don't even glance my way as I enter. Eyes that don't care that I'm there. 

I pass them by toward the kitchen and they continue with their laughing and singing. Coffee is my drug. It gives me a little buzz whenever I need to pick myself up and work. Which is all of the times these days... always working. 

Always. 

"Hey, Logan?" My head snaps up at the sound of my name being called. Roman. My thoughts hopeful, I offer a smile and a curt nod his way. 

"Yes, Roman? Everything satisfactory?" I place my coffee mug on the counter, about to make my way over. 

"Oh, I just wondered..." 

What did he wonder? 

'Would you like to join us?'

'If you are alright?'

'Do you want to choose a Disney movie?' 

I blink and catch myself in my own thoughts. "Wondered what, Roman?" 

Roman smiles widely, shoving a giggling Patton to the side. "I just wondered if you'd mind making us some snacks, you know... for the movie?"

"R-right... of course!" 

The movie... 

That I'm not watching... 

Because I wasn't invited...

Chapter Text

I casually make my way back into the kitchen, adjusting my glasses, lips thinned into a frown. The laughter continues as I leave, louder, almost happier, now that I'm no longer there as a distraction to them. I turn on the coffee machine while I begin making various snacks for the others. 

The screech of laughter penetrates my ears. The squealing, and annoyingly cheery, sound of Patton's giggles makes my stomach twist and my lips thin. It kills me to witness their fun while I stand un-involved. Yes, their messing around is rather childish and immature, but I have the slightest urge to be apart of it. 

"What should we watch?!" Virgil asks and I can't help taking a glance over to the living room, while trying to pull out a large glass bowl from the top cupboard. It seems curiosity has gotten the better of me. Placing the bowl down I make a move across the kitchen, taking out a packet of sweet and salty popcorn, then gently lay it into the microwave to cook for a few minutes. 

"Oh! How about -" Patton starts, flapping his hands excitedly but immediately getting cut off by one of Roman's over dramatic gasps. A frown rests between my brows as I watch Patton's posture sag, though, only for a second. 

"No! I've got it!" Roman chuckles, shoving Patton away from where the movies are kept. "Beauty and the Beast!" 

"But we watched that las-" 

"And now we're watching it again, you all know it's my favourite!" Roman whines and pulls the DVD from its slot. "You can choose next time..."

Next time? I scoff quietly to myself. There never is a 'next time'. Patton never gets to choose a movie. And I'm never invited to offer to choose one either. Perhaps Patton is just too dim to understand... Too much heart, not enough brain. 

I shake my head and turn my attention back to the task at hand, hearing the soft bang of corn popping against the paper bag. Once it's done I take it out of the microwave and empty it out into the bowl. 

"If we were in the movie, who'd you think would be who?" Patton smiles and gives the others a little puppy head tilt. 

I catch Roman roll his eyes as he slips the disc into the player before turning to the side, who is clad in his usual cat onesie. "Well, obviously I would be the Beast - You know, since he's a prince." 

"A cursed prince... who is selfish and a bit of an asshole..." Virgil shook his head, leaning back against the couch with a smirk on his lips. "The whole movie is basically some girl falling in love with a monster who keeps her hostage -  Whole lot of Stockholm syndrome if you ask me." 

"No one asked you, Emo!" 

I bite my lip at the thought. I've only ever seen a few scenes here and there of Beauty and the Beast, mainly whenever I pass through when everyone else is watching it. Perhaps I should watch it for myself some time, fully and in order, try and understand what the 'Hype' about it is. If it is what Virgil says, why is it a children's film? Completely and utterly preposterous. Do parents really let their children watch such things? What message would it give such impressionable minds? 'That's right kids, it's okay to be taken against your will and then fall in love with your captor.'

"Then who would Logan be?" Patton's voice is so sickly innocent as he says my name and I can't help my eyes from drifting over to the living room again. I must have missed most of their words while I was stuck in my own head, thinking... as usual. I force myself to finish up my task and pour myself the coffee which has just finished brewing. I collect the bowl with the popcorn, grip my coffee mug and wander over to the others. 

"That's easy! He'd be Cogsworth!" 

I offer Patton the bowl of popcorn, which he takes with clumsy hands, and I take myself to the bottom of the stairs, listening. 

"Why? 'Cause he's smart and -" 

"What? No - Patton, do you even know Cogsworth?" Roman mutters, by this time I'm already half way up the staircase. "Cogsworth is a pompous control freak, who is up his own as-"

"Aside from that, kiddo - isn't he really smart?" I can hear the tried encouragement in Patton's voice, and it only makes my cold heart burn with sorrow. 

Is this what they think of me?  Am I pompous and controlling? I don't intend to be... I don't mean to be... I knew the others had a certain dislike of me, but not to this extent. 

Perhaps I am Cogsworth. A smart, pompous, controlling clock.... 

When I've heard enough I slip away into my room, locking the door behind me.