Archive of Our Own ^beta

“I left to protect the person I most love.”

When Krolia and Keith finally stopped long enough for him to think, Keith found himself turning her words over in his head again and again. 

Keith made a mental list of the people he loves. Granted, it’s not very long, but to be fair, Keith got a bit of a late start. He thought of Coran and his zaniness and how, out of all them, he’s the best at reminding them to enjoy the moments that they can. He thought of Hunk and his ability to conquer his fears for the people he loves. He thought of Pidge and her quick sarcasm and how her humor fits his. He thought of Allura and how she was humble enough to let him in, even when she had every right not to do so. 

He thought of Shiro. He thought of how Shiro had every chance to give up on him but didn’t. He thought of how Shiro pulled him out of the depths of his darkness and gave him purpose, gave him focus. He thought of how Shiro taught him patience and how to take a hit and how to fix the engine of a hoverbike. He thought of how Shiro gave him a home when he needed one most. 

That was pretty much it on his list. There was no denying that he loves each of them. He loved his Dad, but he’s gone now. He wasn’t sure what he’d feel for Krolia, but he believed he could give her a chance at least.

The crux of the matter was that, while he loved them all, he wasn’t sure if any of them were the people he loved most.

He circled through the list again, checking for flaws in the logic. It was needless. He knew who he loves most. And once he’d gone through the list, he let his thoughts wander to the person who holds the biggest piece of his heart.

He thought of his equal. He thought of his right hand man. He thought of a strategist. He thought of a competitive streak. He thought of someone who gives everything he has to the people he loves, never asking for anything in return. He thought of gentle, but sure hands. He thought of a tired, but kind smile. He thought of blue eyes.

Lance, his brain whispered, and Keith’s heart ached all over. 

If Keith thought about it too hard, he knew he left Voltron and the paladins because he didn’t want Lance to feel unnecessary. 

Lance was vital to Voltron in a way that was more critical than Shiro’s leadership or Allura’s guidance or Hunk’s caution or Pidge’s tech brain or even Keith’s innate talent for destruction.

No, Lance doesn't have any of that, but he acted as the connective tissue holding them all together. Fixing the parts that break. Bracing the ones that bend. Soothing the ones that ache. He gave them space to breathe, a shoulder to cry on, a deadly aim for protection, and so much more. 

However, because of those qualities, Lance also worried about not being good enough . Keith knew this maybe better than anyone, which is a shame, because Keith didn’t know how to tell Lance that he’s the glue that holds them all together. The glue that held Keith together.

So when Keith was given the option to go with the Blade of Marmora more permanently, he thought of Lance saying, “Maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside.” He thought of how Voltron would fall apart without Lance.

The choice was easy.

“I left to protect the person I most love.”

Keith knew why he left.

Over the two years he spent traveling through time and space, he realized that he may have been going about this the wrong way. He spent so long prioritizing the mission over everything else—in fact, he’d been doing it for as long as he could remember, always choosing the war and the mission and the saving of the universe over everything, even his own wants and needs. 

What Keith wanted was to listen to Lance’s stories. He wanted to eradicate Lance’s doubts. He wanted to tell Lance everything that he never knew how to voice before.

But more than anything, he just wanted to see Lance again.

They establish quickly that Lance really can’t be left alone for long periods of time, and they work in shifts. For the first few weeks and into the first couple of months, they reason that Lance needs them and they can’t leave him like that. And yeah, maybe Keith knows this isn’t the only reason, knows they all need each other right now more than ever since the war is over and they’ve lost something irreplaceable.

This means that, sometimes, Keith walks into Lance’s house on Altea in the early mornings and finds Lance asleep on the couch and Pidge sitting on the floor at his feet, silently crying. Bits and pieces of machinery are scattered on the floor, and for once, Pidge’s main concern isn’t trying to fix something because no one can fix this.

Sometimes, Keith walks into Lance’s kitchen and sees Hunk carefully leading Lance through chopping vegetables and Lance nodding quietly as they cook a real meal. Hunk makes jokes and facilitates conversation like he always has, but Lance’s side of the conversation is nonexistent. Hunk smiles, but Keith sees the tightness in his eyes.

Sometimes, Keith leaves Shiro and Lance in the dining room having quiet conversations in the early evening, both of their eyes red and wet. Shiro grips Lance’s hands tight and tries to bring him back to Earth, but there’s always a far away look in Lance’s eyes, like he never came back from space.

Sometimes, Keith walks out on Lance’s porch and sees Lance in a tight hug with Coran, a field of juniberries that they all planted when they got back blowing in the wind behind them. These moments hurt him in ways that the others don’t because there they are. The two men left alive who loved her the most, and she’s gone and they’re both lost, lost, lost.

And sometimes…

Keith wakes up in the middle of the night and hears Lance wailing. He runs to his room and holds him close until the screaming stops and the tears start. They fall into restless sleep like two closing parentheses nestled together.

Sometimes… 

Keith walks into the bathroom and finds Lance staring blankly in the mirror, his eyes stuck on the blue marks below his eyes. Keith sits by Lance’s legs, his back against the counter and waits until the shaking starts to pull him away from his reflection.

Sometimes… 

Keith spends all afternoon outside with Lance in the juniberry field, watching Lance tilt his face toward the sun and smile softly.

On those days, Keith feels like he has a grasp on their Lance, the goofball, the sharpshooter, the strategist, the Blue Paladin, the boy from Cuba.

The Lance who Allura loved.

Unfortunately, they can’t stay like that forever. There’s a universe to right and coalitions to run and societies to reestablish and tech to build and relationships to maintain and repair. They can’t stay with Lance forever, no matter how much they want to.

They leave one-by-one until the only one left is Keith. He needs to go. His mom and Acxa have been sending him messages about how needed he is on Daibazaal and how the Galra are in disarray, but all that falls to the wayside every time he catches a glimpse of red-rimmed eyes or far-off gazes. He thinks maybe he can just let Kolivan and his mom and everyone else handle it and leave him be.

That all changes one night when they’re sitting on the porch as the day slowly fades into night. Lance is nursing a cup of Altean tea with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders when Keith’s communicator rings from the kitchen.

“Keith,” Lance whispers.

Keith looks away from the rolling green grass and looks over at Lance. There are still bags under his eyes, but his face looks tanner than it was when they first got back. His marks twinkle just slightly in the early night light.

“Yeah?” he replies.

Lance clears his throat. “You gotta go.” Keith starts to shake his head, but Lance cuts him off with a raised hand. “I know you’ve all been here to make sure I’m okay. And I really appreciate it. But I can’t keep relying on you all to keep me together. I have to start doing some of this for myself.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

Lance nods. “Coran is here, too. I’m sure he’ll be checking on me.”

Keith chews on his lip for a minute, thinking. “What are you going to do while we’re all gone?”

Lance looks out at the fields. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll take up gardening.” He turns back to Keith, brings his hand to rest on Keith’s knee. “Go. I’ll be here when you get back. The universe needs you, Mullet.”

But I need you, he thinks. In the end, he lets Lance make his decision.

Within a week, he’s on a ship off of Altea and away from Lance.

When Keith turned at the door off the bridge, he really wasn't expecting much. Maybe a few tears (Hunk and Pidge covered that) and a few sad but proud smiles (Shiro, Allura, and Coran covered that). 

He wasn't expecting Lance's face. 

Lance, his “rival,” who looked like he'd lost everything precious to him.

Did he feel that way for Keith?

It didn't make sense, but Keith still wanted to run back and ask him what it meant, if there was more between them.

He didn't. Instead, he replayed Lance saying “Maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside” over and over again in his head.

They needed Lance. And Keith needed Lance to feel needed.

So he turned around and walked away.

-oOo-

After he left the paladins for the Blade, Keith wasn’t sure how he managed to go months without picking up his graviphone and messaging Lance.

Well, he did pick up his phone. He would even type out messages like

This one blade girl has blue eyes almost like yours, but they're not yours.

and

Have you all moved on? I wouldn't blame you…

and

I miss you.

and

I didn't know how much I needed you until I left you.

He didn't send any of them. He'd erase them and shut down the phone and turn in for another sleepless night.

The truth was no message would ever be enough to convey how deep of a hole Lance left in Keith's chest.

Keith does not call and check on Lance every day. He knows Lance needs space to recover and heal. The guy just spent weeks with everyone around him, day in and day out. So, no, Keith does not call Lance every day.

He calls Coran.

“Number 4! Calling to check on number 3, I presume?” Coran says when he answers.

“I— I mean,” he starts, caught off balance. He clears his throat. “Coran, I was calling to see if you had a chance to look over those reports I sent you.”

“No, you weren’t,” Coran replies. Keith sighs in defeat. “Not much has changed, my boy. Some days, he makes it out of the house. Some days, he doesn’t make it out of the bed.”

Keith sighs again, but adds nothing to the conversation. The silence stretches for a moment.

“I’m sure he would love to hear from you, Keith.”

Keith bites his lip. “Okay, I’ll call him.”

Coran’s smile can be heard across the line. “Good.”

-oOo-

The communicator rings and rings and rings when Keith calls Lance at first. 

Oh god, what if something happened? Keith worries. What if he… did something? Why isn’t he answering? Pick up pick up pick UP…

Keith is in the middle of imagining the most gruesome scenario he can think of when Lance answers with a breathless, “Hello?”

“Lance!”

Lance chuckles. “Keith!”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“Sorry, I, uh…” Lance pauses. “I was out in the yard. Didn’t hear the phone ring for a little bit.”

Keith breathes a sigh of relief. 

And then immediately starts worrying about what to say next. 

“Did you need something?” Lance asks.

Keith shakes his head. “No, I was just… calling to check on you.”

“Oh.”

“Ah, sorry, I can just go.”

“No! It’s, it’s nice to hear from you.”

“Yeah?” Keith asks, a smile creeping on his face.

“Yes. Tell me about your day.”

And Keith does. He tells him about the disarray the Galra are in and about the funny things a Blade member said over lunch and about the new trick he’s teaching Kosmo. He’s in the middle of talking about his suspicions that something’s going on between Kolivan and his mom when he hears Lance stifle a yawn.

“I should let you go,” Keith says.

“Sorry,” Lance replies. “I need to get some sleep.”

They say their goodbyes, but just as Keith is about to hang up, Lance’s voice comes through.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“It was…” Lance pauses a moment. Keith lets him collect his thoughts. “It was really nice talking to you.”

For the first time in a while, Keith feels a genuine smile break across his face. “Yeah, it was. I’ll call back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Lance breathes.

“Okay.”

And that’s how it starts. Once a week phone calls turn into twice a week phone calls turn into phone calls most of the week and at least one video chat a week. Keith spends more time than he would like talking about his adventures rather than talking about Lance. But whenever Keith asks Lance about his day, he deflects. He mentions how he talked to Hunk that day or that Pidge emailed him or that Coran stopped by or that Shiro sent him a package before he shifts the conversation back to Keith.

Keith gets it. He feels like Lance would rather be talking about anything other than himself, but Keith worries. Is Lance eating enough? Has he gotten out of the house lately? Does he still have nightmares?

Keith is gone for six months before he can’t take it anymore. He needs to see Lance in person. He drops Kosmo off with his mom, explaining that he’ll be back in a few weeks and that she can send him a message if something urgent comes up, and then he’s on the first fueled ship he can find back to Altea.

He steps off the ship in Lance’s backyard and finds…

A garden.

He walks slowly toward the house and sees rows and rows of flowers and fruits and vegetables. He takes in green leaves reaching toward the sun, colorful petals basking in the warmth, plump vegetables hanging from vines.

“Mullet!” Lance shouts from the porch.

Keith turns from the thriving garden and towards Lance who’s standing on the porch in dirt-stained pants, a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a pair of worn-out rain boots. Lance bounds off the porch and meets him halfway between the house and the garden.

“So this is what you’ve been so quiet about,” Keith says once he’s close enough.

Lance reaches to scratch the back of his neck, his tanned cheeks dusting with pink. “Yeah,” he replies. “It started out as a small project since the juniberries needed something else, and it’s… grown.”

Keith looks back out at the vibrant field. “I’ll say,” he replies. “Lance, this is—”

“Crazy,” Lance interrupts. “I know, I should have—”

“It’s incredible,” Keith says, looking back at him. “Lance, it’s incredible.”

Lance’s cheeks break out into a full blush then.

“Tell me about everything,” Keith asks.

And Lance does. He points out how the juniberries have spread and the bean-like plant that Coran gave him that “grows like a weed” and the sunflowers and the tomatoes and a handful of other plants. They stay in the garden until the sun sets low before heading into the house and cooking dinner together, using the vegetables that Lance has grown with his own two hands.

Days pass easily like this, with Keith and Lance in the garden during the day working and sweating. 

Keith’s been there for a week before he thinks maybe he was overreacting. He watches Lance dance in the kitchen as he stirs a pot of soup, looking more like himself than he has in months. When they head to bed that night, Keith thinks, he’s okay. He’s really okay.

But…

He’s not okay.

Keith wakes up in the middle of the night and hears the familiar wails of Lance. He’s out of his bed and down the hall to Lance’s room before he’s even fully awake. When he opens the door, he finds Lance shaking and screaming in his bed. Keith rushes across the room and sits at the head of his bed, brushing Lance’s sweaty bangs off his forehead.

“Lance. Lance, wake up, it’s just a dream,” he says as he lightly shakes his shoulder.

Lance’s eyes pop open. “Keith,” he croaks.

“I’m here, I’m here.”

Lance’s bottom lip quivers, and his blue eyes fill with tears. “She’s gone. She’s really gone.” He wraps his arms around Keith’s waist and sobs.

Keith scoots down to lay beside him, moving Lance’s head to his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lance,” he whispers as cries echo around them. “I’m so sorry.”

-oOo-

When Keith wakes the next morning, Lance’s face is tucked into his neck. He carefully slides out of Lance’s arms to crouch next to the bed and look.

Lance’s face is puffy and red and splotchy from crying the night before. His marks are dim against his brown skin. He sees the cracks in Lance’s careful façade and knows that Lance has been trying to bury himself in work instead of dealing with it all.

“Moron,” he whispers. He carefully brushes his bangs back from his forehead again, tucks the blankets tighter around him, takes one more good look, and then steps back. 

He’s got work to do.

He makes a few calls. He quietly digs around in Lance’s house until he finds all the supplies he may need. He cooks a good breakfast before heading back to Lance’s room. 

When he peeks in, he sees Lance sitting up and rubbing his eyes, elbows balanced on his knees.

“Hey,” he says. Lance looks over at him, a half smile forming on his face.

“Oh, hey, man. I was just about to get up—”

“Nope. Breakfast first.”

Lance tries to argue, but quiets at the look Keith shoots him. They sit in Lance’s bed and pick at eggs and toast, a heavy silence resting between them.

Once Lance has ate enough to seem sufficient, Keith speaks up.

“Were you just going to pretend everything was fine until I left?” he asks.

Lance sighs. “I was going to try. I just don’t want you all worrying about me.”

“Lance, that’s what friends do. We all are here for you.”

“But I’m not the only one who lost her,” Lance argues.

“But you are the only one who loved her like you did.”

Lance huffs and looks away. 

“I’m sorry I left you, Lance,” he says.

Lance shakes his head, turning back towards him. “Don’t be. I don’t blame you for leaving, Keith. Especially since you’re here now.”

Keith reaches across and rests his hand on Lance’s knee. “Lance, you don’t have to suffer alone. I’m here. Let me help you.”

Lance lets out a shuddering breath. “Okay, Mullet, what did you have in mind?”

They do face masks. They watch crappy movies and eat too much popcorn underneath thick blankets. They talk about her.

They both cry a bit and laugh a bit and hurt a bit and love a bit. It’s not perfect, but by the end of the day, Lance seems a little lighter.

And that’s how their routine changes. Some days, Lance can get out of bed and they race to see who can pull up the most weeds. And some days, Lance can’t get out of bed. Keith is there for him every step of the way, and slowly, the good days outweigh the bad days.

It’s not perfect, but it does feel better.

Days pass pretty easy like this until Keith’s communicator rings while he’s fixing dinner for the two of them one night.

“Hello?” Keith answers without looking at the screen. It’s probably his mom wondering when he’s coming back for Kosmo.

“Hello, Keith,” Shiro says. Keith stops stirring his pot of sauce. Shit. 

“Shiro. Hey,” he replies as he leans against the counter. “What’s up?”

“Oh, you know, just wondering why my best Blade of Marmora contact is not with the Blade of Marmora,” Shiro says, feigning nonchalance. 

Keith swallows, trying to collect his thoughts. “I had to check on something in Altea.”

“And that wouldn’t happen to be a former Blue Paladin, would it?” 

Keith doesn’t reply, feeling a bit like a scolded child.

Shiro just sighs. “Keith, what the hell are you doing? He’s fine.”

“He’s not, Shiro! He’s making us all think he is, but he’s still having nightmares and he misses her.”

“Of course he does, Keith,” Shiro replies. “You’ve lost people before, Kid. Tell me, does it ever go away?”

No, it doesn’t. It’s been years, and Keith still aches to tell his dad about his adventures. Just like he knows Shiro wishes he could have done things differently with Adam.

Just like he knows Lance misses Allura.

“I don’t know how to help him, Shiro,” he finally replies. “I’m trying, but I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Well, being there is probably helpful,” Shiro says. “But some of this, Lance is going to have to do for himself. And he will, Keith. You believe that, right? You believe in him?”

“Of course I do,” he answers immediately.

“Then, you have to know he’ll get through this. He’s tough.”

Just then, Lance stomps in through the kitchen. He smiles at Keith before walking to the sink to wash his hands. He’s covered in dirt up to his elbows, his hair is windswept, his marks are twinkling, and his face is damp with sweat. He looks healthy. More so than he did when Keith popped up here a few weeks ago.

He lets out a breath before answering. “Yeah, you’re right. Is there something specifically you needed from me?”

“No, I spoke with your mom instead. Are you going to head back to Daibazaal soon?” 

Lance finishes washing his hands and walks over to Keith, leaning over the pot of sauce simmering on the stove. He takes the spoon and tastes a sip before closing his eyes and humming, savoring the flavors.

I’ll never love someone as much as I love him, he thinks.

“Yeah, in a few days,” he finally answers.

“Good. Let me know when you’re heading out,” Shiro replies.

“Yeah, will do.” They say their goodbyes, and Keith hangs up.

“Who was that?” Lance asks. 

“Shiro,” Keith says as he turns back to the pot and starts stirring the sauce again. “Do you want some of that weird pasta that Hunk sent us with this?”

Lance nods and walks to the pantry to grab the box. “What did he want?”

“A report from the Blade, I guess.” 

“Oh. Did he not know you were here?”

“Apparently not.”

Lance sets the box of pasta on the counter next to Keith and starts digging for a pot in the cupboard. When he finds the one he’s looking for, he pulls it out but doesn’t move to fill it with water. Instead, he runs his fingers along the handle. He’s clearly in thought, so Keith lets him have his space.

Only a minute passes before Lance speaks up.

“Keith, why are you here?” Lance asks quietly.

At that, Keith stops stirring and turns to face Lance fully. He’s not looking up to meet Keith’s eyes.

“I wanted to check on you,” he replies.

“But Coran is here,” Lance says, finally looking up at Keith. “He checks on me all the time. You know that.”

“I know, but—”

“And, I’m okay, Keith,” he states, his voice growing steady. “You knew that. You checked on me all the time while you were gone.”

“It’s not the same, though,” he argues. “The dreams—”

“The dreams are going to happen, Keith. I miss her. I loved her. I… I still do.” Lance pauses. “But, I’m okay, Keith. I’m okay. I have the garden and I’m thinking about getting cows and chickens and I talk to you all and my family all the time. I’m doing okay. You don’t have to be here, making sure I don’t break into a million pieces.”

“It’s not about that, Lance.”

“Then, tell me, Keith. Tell me why you’re here.”

“You’re my favorite person, Lance,” he replies honestly, immediately. “I know you’re okay. I know you’re healing. And yeah, I came back partially to check on you, but I missed you, too.”

“Oh,” Lance says. He looks back at the pot in his hands, breaking eye contact with Keith. He swallows before turning away, going to the sink to fill it up with water.

Keith looks back at his sauce, feeling the panic grow. He just told Lance that and Lance’s response was “oh”? 

Lance comes back with the water, reaches around Keith to grab the salt. As he pours some in the pot, he clears his throat.

“You’re, uh,” he starts. “You’re my favorite person, too.”

“Oh,” Keith says, panic fading and affection flourishing.

Lance looks at him again and smiles softly.

Keith smiles back.

Keith fell in love on the battlefield.

He realizes how painfully on the nose that turn of events was, but he also knows that he’d been hurling towards that inevitable conclusion since the moment Lance looked at him and said, “We are a good team.” He’d been falling for Lance ever since, and it only got worse when Shiro disappeared.

Keith thought surely that he would spiral like he had the last time, but amazingly, Lance held him together when he felt like he would fly apart. With Lance’s help, Keith survived it and found Shiro once again.

And maybe, Keith had been a little careless in that fight, but he’d seen Lance go down and reacted.

All his life, Keith felt like he’d been made for destruction. Maybe it was his Galra heritage, maybe it was growing up without any real parental figures, maybe it was his act first, think later nature. Maybe it was a combination. Whatever it was, it made Keith lethal in a fight. He didn’t provide much thought to his own safety, he just took out whatever was in his way. It was what made him one of the top pilots at the Garrison before he got kicked out. It was also what made him get kicked out of the Garrison.

And then, his carelessness almost brought his downfall upon him. He’d been so focused on making Acxa pay for hurting Lance that he hadn’t even noticed Ezor running up behind him. The knife she threw was surely going to hit him and then…

It wasn’t.

“I got you, buddy!” Lance yelled over the chaos.

And Keith…

Fell.

There he was, the goofball sharpshooter who’d stepped up when Keith needed him most. Who continually stepped up when Keith needed him most. Whether he needed someone to give him strength or talk him down or protect him, Lance was always there for Keith. He was the calm to Keith’s fury.

Whether Lance knew it or not, Keith knew then and there that Lance would be irreplaceable to him for as long as he lived.

The day after his phone call with Shiro, Lance and Keith walk to the Altean Embassy to visit Coran and help him with paperwork when Keith decides to jump in with both feet.

“Could I talk you into coming back to Daibazaal with me?” he asks.

Lance actually stops on the dirt road. Well, he thinks, this isn’t going the way I expected.

“You mean, like, work for the Blades?” Lance finally asks, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. His marks seem to dim right before Keith’s eyes.

“Yeah,” he replies, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at the dirt instead of those blue, blue eyes. “You know, go on supply runs, help me get the humanitarian side rolling, support refugees. That kinda thing.”

“But, you have Acxa and Kolivan and your mom. Wouldn’t I just get in the way?”

Well, so much for avoiding eye contact. He snaps his gaze up to meet Lance’s. “What?? No! What would make you think you’d get in the way?”

“I just, I haven’t been in combat or in the Voltron role for a while,” Lance answers, shrugging. “I don’t know how much help I’d be.”

“Lance, you were still our Blue Paladin and the Red Paladin.” Keith is adamant now. It’s one thing to fear rejection, but he can put that aside to tell Lance what he needs to hear. “You’ve got the best shot I’ve ever seen, which would come in handy in sticky situations. You love people, and you’re so good at talking to them, which is good for people who are hurting. You’ve got good ideas and instincts, and you’re smart, which is helpful for changing a secret assassin team to a more public, humanitarian organization.”

Lance is quiet for a second as he bites his lip, clearly in thought.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think we could really use someone like you.” Keith takes a step closer to Lance and tilts his head to meet Lance’s eyes. “And, you could see what Allura saved, you know?”

Lance lets out a big breath, a weight on his shoulders moving. Keith reaches out and rests his hand on his shoulder. 

Huh, he thinks as he remembers a time when Lance had reached out to Keith when he needed it. How the tables turn.

“But what about the garden?”

“Coran will look after it. Plus, we could take some of it with us for people who need supplies.”

“I was going to get chickens. And cows.”

“You won’t be gone forever. We can do that when we come back.”

“We? Are you saying I’m stuck with you?” Lance asks, a familiar grin creeping up on his face. 

Heat floods Keith’s cheeks. “I mean, no, you can come back, or you don’t have to— I was just saying—”

Lance laughs. “Keith, I’m kidding.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Really, Lance, it’s up to you. It’s just a suggestion.”

A moment passes before Lance says, “Can I think on it for a couple days?”

Keith nods, unable to speak without spilling everything because he wasn’t expecting to get this far.

-oOo-

The next night over dinner, Lance’s fork stops scraping across the plate. Keith looks up at him and, for just a second, a moment passes between them.

I could do this every night for the rest of my life, he thinks.

“I’ll go with you,” Lance says.

-oOo-

Being on a ship with Lance all the time is…

Good. So so very good.

Keith meets Lance for breakfast every morning to discuss their plans for the day or retell their favorite stories. Sometimes, Krolia or Kolivan or Acxa or Ezor or Zethrid or all of them or a combination of them join them. Sometimes, it’s just the two of them, bumping elbows as they sit side by side.

After breakfast, their plans are up in the air. Sometimes, Lance leaves Keith for the day to go on his own missions. Sometimes, Keith leaves Lance. Sometimes, they stay together on the ship and arrange plans, and sometimes, they leave on the same mission together.

At night, they eat dinner together and talk about their days before moving to one of their rooms to watch a movie or video chat with the other paladins and Lance’s family or play with Kosmo or sit in silence while they do their own activities. Late at night, they crawl into their own rooms or sometimes fall asleep next to each other on the couch.

The next day, it’s wash and repeat.

It’s nice. They'd grown together in the weeks Keith had spent on Altea, and they hadn't bothered to untangle themselves once they got back into space. If anything, they grow closer as the weeks stretch on.

Despite Lance’s hesitation, he quickly latches onto life with the Blade of Marmora. If Keith is in the middle of something, Blade members start referring to Lance for direction. Lance balks at the idea at first, but Keith explains that his plans are good and solid. Keith trusts him, so Lance should trust himself. 

It’s like the first time Keith piloted the Black Lion and it isn’t. They are still the same boys who counted on each other to pull them through the rough times, but they are now men, too. Men who’ve loved and lost and rebuilt stronger. Men who see each other as equals. Partners.

More importantly than any of this is the fact that Lance is… incredible.

He comes up with plans that are simple and effective. He listens to Blade members when they come to him with ideas or problems or just to talk. He holds strangers as they cry on his shoulder over what they’ve lost. He can light up any room with a joke. He’s the best shot they have by a landslide and has proven himself invaluable in a scuffle. He makes sure that Keith stops working every day and takes some time for himself.

There are still far-off gazes and sleepless nights and red eyes occasionally, but they don’t hold him down for long. 

Lance is healing.

-oOo-

Keith wakes with a start, his heart racing and drenched in sweat.

“It was just a dream,” he says out loud, trying to calm his shaking hands.

But no matter how many breathing exercises he goes through, he still sees it. Sees them all falling, falling, falling.Thinks this is the last moment he has, but he still has so many things he wants to do. Wishing he could stop time, stop falling, stop dying.

A quick glance at the clock shows it’s the middle of the night, but Keith knows he isn't going to fall asleep anytime soon.

He slides out from underneath the sheets, disturbing Kosmo, who whines at him.

“It’s okay, boy,” Keith says. “I’m just going to go draw for a bit.” 

Kosmo seems to level a look at him before sinking further into the sheets. 

“Good boy,” he says before placing a kiss on his snout.

With a resigned sigh, he gets up and digs around for his sketchbook before grabbing a blanket and heading to the common room. He plops down on one of the couches and tucks his legs under him before covering himself with the blanket and opening his book to a blank page.

He hasn't been sketching for more than ten minutes when he hears footsteps coming down the hall. He looks up to meet a familiar set of eyes.

“Couldn't sleep?” Lance asks. He crosses the room before taking a seat next to Keith and stealing some of his blanket to cover his legs. His marks glow just slightly in the low light of the common room.

Keith just shakes his head in reply before turning back to his sketch, Lance's eyes on him the whole time.

“Where’s Kosmo?” Lance asks.

“Still in my room, sleeping.”

Lance nods before falling into silence again while Keith draws.

“That's really good,” Lance whispers. Keith looks down at the lines on his paper that form a rough sketch of the Red Lion.

“Thanks,” he replies, setting his pencil down.

“Why couldn't you sleep, Keith?” Lance asks carefully.

Keith swallows. Closes his eyes for a brief moment before his stomach dips as he remembers the dream that woke him. He fiddles with his pencil for a minute, tapping it against his book.

“I, I was dreaming about falling again,” he finally answers, voice shaking and tremors quaking across his body.

He sees it in his mind again. The free fall as everything passes them in a blur. The absolute silence from the other paladins as their separate colors race across the map, too fast too fast. 

“Ah,” Lance says from next to him. He reaches across the blanket for Keith's hand. He squeezes his hand tight, so tight, but it helps. Keith isn't falling anymore. He’s on the Blade ship, with Lance, who is holding his hand and keeping him grounded.

“Keith,” Lance whispers. “You're here with me. We're not falling. We're safe. You're safe.”

They sit in silence as Keith comes back down, Lance a steady presence next to him.

When he finally feels like he can talk without flying apart, he asks, “How did you know I was up?”

Lance smiles. “Your room is right next to mine. I heard the door open. I figured… You've been taking care of me for months now. Figured it was time to return the favor.”

“Lance…” Keith says. “You don't owe me anything. I helped you because I wanted to.”

“I know, I know. I just.” Lance pauses and looks at his lap before bringing his eyes up to meet Keith's again. “I wanted to.”

Keith sighs before leaning his head back against the couch. Lance takes his hand out of Keith's and brings it up to Keith's hair, running his fingers through the strands. Keith closes his eyes again.

“I hate those dreams,” Keith says. “I have them about almost crashing that ship into that Galra cruiser, too. And I feel that… hopeless feeling I had then. Like, nothing would ever be okay again.”

“Keith, what?” Lance asks, sitting up. “What ship?”

Oh , Keith thinks, suddenly remembering that he hadn’t ever mentioned the fact that he almost died . “It was… when you all were trapped on Naxzela. I figured Haggar’s ship was behind you all being trapped, and I just… I made a decision. I thought you all needed to be helping the universe more than… a lone wolf with a bad attitude.”

Lance sighs. “You moron. For once, I’m glad Lotor was around if only to stop your suicidal ass.”

“That’s one way to put it. Sometimes, I wish I'd never left you all then. For selfish reasons, too,” Keith pauses, remembering how he'd desperately wished all those months to be back with the paladins. “I missed you all so much. It felt like there was a hole inside me the size of a galaxy.”

Lance chuckles dryly next to him. Keith opens his eyes and meets Lance's. 

“We really are two sides of the same coin,” Lance says.

“What do you mean?”

“I know how it feels to be as lost you were,” he says. “I… I may have dove in front of a beam on this one planet and died.”

“What !?” Keith sits up, Lance's hand falling from his head.

“Allura and I were fixing this shield and a beam came through, and I just acted on instinct and pushed her out of the way,” he says, looking at a spot on the wall across from them. “Allura brought me back, and I did jump in front of the beam to save her… but sometimes I think about why I really did it.”

“Why did you really do it?” Keith asks.

“I think part of me wanted out. I was so… lonely, you know? And miserable.” Lance pauses to swallow. “I missed my home and my family. And you.”

Lance looks back at Keith. “I didn't really fit into the paladins anymore after you left. I trained by myself a lot because Hunk and Pidge were always doing stuff together and clone Shiro was never around and Allura and Lotor were always together. You left, and suddenly, I was alone when I hadn't been before.”

The silence stretches between them again.

“Lance, I had no idea,” Keith finally says. “I'm so—”

“No,” Lance says, shaking his head and reaching for Keith's hands again. “No, it's okay. Don't apologize. I understand why you left and you came back and you're here with me now. I just… I thought you should know that I get how you felt and I…”

Lance pauses again, squeezing Keith's hands between his. “I missed you, too.” 

Lance scoots across the couch, closer to Keith before he rests his head on Keith’s shoulder, still holding his hands.

“Maybe this is why we make a good team,” Lance says.

Keith thinks for a minute of which reason Lance may think makes them a good team before just deciding they are. There isn’t an ounce of self-preservation between the two of them. They constantly put everyone else’s happiness above their own. 

But… maybe it doesn’t have to stay that way. Over the last months, they’ve grown up and realized they are a lot better to the world working than they are dead. Keith attributes his change in attitude to the man sitting next to him.

Maybe Lance thinks the same.

They don’t say much after this and sit in silence. Keith feels calmer than he has in months and his eyelids get heavy.

With Lance’s steady presence next to him, he falls asleep between one breath and the next.

-oOo-

Keith wakes to snickering. 

He does his best to ignore them, he really does. He’s cozy here with a warm presence next to him and a blanket wrapped around him.

But whoever is laughing just will. not. stop.

He finally opens his eyes, ready to lecture someone. He’s the damn leader of the Blade of Marmora. If he wants to sleep in peace, he should be able to, dammit.

“Morning, boss man!” a cheery voice says.

Acxa.

“Get out of my room,” he grumbles before closing his eyes and sinking down more to where it’s warm and cozy. Mmhm…

“Well,” she says. “I’m not exactly in your room.”

Keith jolts up…

And immediately has a lap full of one former Blue Paladin of Voltron and current authority in the Blade of Marmora.

Lance.

He slumped over from Keith’s shoulder to his lap when Keith moved. He’s sleeping soundly, shoulders relaxed and face peaceful where he’s wrapped up in Keith. His marks are sparkling, bright in a way Keith hasn’t seen before.

They must have fallen asleep on the couch and… never woke up.

Fuck. They cuddled in the common room. Where people could see them.

A camera flash goes off.

Keith snaps his head up from assessing this situation to see Acxa smirking behind her graviphone.

“Delete that,” Keith says immediately.

“Nope,” she replies, smirk growing into a full grin. “Blackmail material. You two are so cute.”

Keith glares at her, but doesn’t get up. He’s mad, but he’s not going to disturb Lance.

Unfortunately, as soon as he thinks that, Lance stirs. He curls farther into Keith as Acxa makes to leave.

“Say anything and I’ll station you on the farthest planet away from Earth and a certain sister of someone in this room for months,” Keith threatens, pointing at her.

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. Anything for our fearless leaders. By the way, breakfast starts in ten minutes.” The door to the lounge closes with a whoosh behind her.

“Issit time to get up?” Lance asks, drowsy.

Keith breathes deeply before answering. Keep it together, Keith.

“Yeah,” he replies, running his fingers through Lance’s hair.

“Mmhm,” is Lance’s response. “Five more minutes.”

“Okay.”

So, for five more minutes, they sit in silence as they slowly wake.

Eventually, Lance sits up and rubs his eyes. “Morning,” he says.

“Mornin’.”

“Did you sleep better?” Lance asks, apparently nonplussed about their current arrangement of twisted limbs and shared blankets. 

“Yeah,” Keith replies honestly. 

He always sleeps better next to Lance.

“Good.” Lance stands and stretches. Keith is captivated by his beauty once again.

Can I just have this every day? he thinks.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Lance says, breaking Keith from his thoughts. Lance leans down, tucks a piece of Keith’s hair behind his ear, and…

Kisses him on the cheek.

“See you in the mess hall?” Lance asks as he walks towards the door.

Keith just nods, unable to talk.

“Yeah. See you,” he says after the door closes.

Keith had originally been annoyed by how loud Lance could be, but when Lance was in the healing pod, Keith would have given anything for Lance to crack one of his dumb jokes.

He sat outside Lance's pod at night and stared at how still the Blue Paladin was.

We did it. We are a good team.

Keith replayed those words over and over in his head.

He didn't want to be rivals with Lance. He wanted to be a real teammate to him and a friend. He got along with all of the other people on the castleship, but Lance was the one hurdle he still had to jump.

But… Maybe he was jumping that hurdle.

He pressed a hand against the glass.

Keith traced the lines of Lance's face with his eyes since a plate of glass separated him. From his sharp jaw to his floppy bangs to his long, long eyelashes.

He was safe. And alive.

Keith didn't think he'd be as relieved as he was.

“Hey, Lance,” he whispered. “The team is all really worried about you even though Coran said you'd be okay.”

He sighed. “And me. I'm worried, too.”

Keith didn't understand the feelings coursing through him, but he didn't have the energy or tools to dissect them. 

“You know that you have a whole team behind you now, right?” Keith said. “You don't have to be the hero, man.”

The healing pod released a stream of air. Lance slept on, unaware of Keith standing in front of him.

“Keith, I've got eyes on the insurgents. Head straight down that hall and then hang a left at the end,” Lance says.

“Got it,” Keith confirms.

He leads the Ithulians down the hall quickly and quietly while Lance breathes in his ear.

A group of rogue Galra insurgents had unexpectedly kidnapped a group of refugees on Ithulia, a peaceful planet where the Blade had established a supply chain. Despite being blindsided by an attack when none had happened in months, the Blade came as fast as possible to lend their help.

“Shit,” Lance curses when they're almost at the end of the hall.

“What?” Keith asks as he slows in his trek down the hall.

“Rogue insurgent is coming in hot,” Lance replies. “Give me a second.”

Within five seconds, Keith hears the whir of Lance's gun.

Out of a side hallway, a figure falls. Must've been planning to jump them as they passed.

Lance whoops in his ear, and despite the severity of the situation, Keith smiles.

There you are, he thinks.

“Good work, Sharpshooter,” Keith says.

“Save your sweet talk for when you get out of there, Samurai,” Lance answers.

“Copy that. We're turning down the hall now.”

“Take the next right.”

And Lance leads them through the hallways and to freedom, taking out any rogue insurgents who try to attack them.

Once Keith makes it out if the building, he directs waiting Blade members to help the Ithulians, sweep the surrounding area for any missing Galra, and deal with any wounded Galra agents who need to be taken in for questioning.

He's just finished directing Zethrid and Ezor to sweep an area for any remaining agents when strong arms wrap around him and lift him into the air.

“Hell yeah!” Lance shouts. “Keith, we did it!!”

Keith laughs despite the blush rising on his cheeks. “Lance, put me down, you heathen.”

Lance drops him back to his feet before launching into his excited babble, his marks almost blinding in the light. “Did you see me take out that one guy? I thought for sure he'd get to you guys before my shot would, but damn, I made it!”

“I saw it all, Lance,” Keith answers. “You were incredible.”

The tops of Lance's ears turn red. Suddenly, he looks embarrassed. “It was just a few shots.”

“No, Lance,” Keith insists, gripping his arms tight. “You were so sure and precise. I don't know what we would have done without you.”

The blush spreads to Lance's cheeks. “Thanks, Keith,” he replies.

Keith thinks he has never been more in love with Lance than in this moment. 

-oOo-

Later that night, he's reading curled up on the couch in his room with Kosmo on his legs when Lance walks in.

Keith looks up briefly and sees Lance is decked out in his pajamas and has a few skincare products in his hands.

“Face masks?” he asks.

Keith nods and puts his tablet down. Lance sits on the edge of the couch, and Kosmo scooches to make room for him. While Keith pulls his hair back, Lance shuffles through the creams before choosing one. He squeezes out a glob of blue stuff before turning to face Keith. 

This is an old routine for them. Keith closes his eyes, ready for Lance to smear the mask on. They sit in silence while Lance applies the cool cream to Keith's face.

Once it's applied, Lance goes to the bathroom to wash his hands.

“Did you want one of these?” Keith calls as he pulls his legs out from under Kosmo to rest on the floor. Kosmo huffs at him before closing his eyes again.

“Yeah, the purple one,” Lance replies over the sound of the sink.

Keith finds the bottle and squirts out a dab. When Lance comes back, his bangs are pulled back by one of the headbands Keith keeps in his bathroom for this very purpose. He sits on the other side of Keith and closes his eyes, ready for Keith to apply his mask.

Careful, he thinks. Only gentle hands should touch Lance, whose eyes are closed and who is smiling ever so slightly as his marks twinkle.

Once it's done, Keith heads to the bathroom to wash his hands before sitting down next to Lance, their sides almost melded together. Lance plays a game on his phone and hums quietly while Keith picks up his tablet to read again. Kosmo snores quietly beside them.

Their silence is soon broken by Lance's phone, which starts ringing.

“Shiro is video calling me,” Lance says before swiping to answer.

“Lance?” Shiro asks.

“Hi!” Lance smiles widely at him, his face mask cracking in places. 

“Have you been abducted by aliens?” Shiro asks, a smirk growing on his face.

“Ha, no! Keith and I are doing face masks.”

“Ah,” Shiro says. He finally meets Keith's eyes. “Hey, Kiddo.”

“Shiro, I'm not a kid anymore,” he replies. He narrowly manages to not roll his eyes.

“But you'll always be that 12-year-old who stole my car to me.” Shiro places his hand on his heart, smiling wistfully.

“You're an ass.”

Lance laughs next to him. “Did you need something, Shiro?”

“Yes, but it's somewhat personal,” Shiro says, his face growing serious. “Do you want me to call back at a better time?”

Lance shrugs. “Now is fine, unless Keith needs to disappear.”

“Only if you want him to.”

Lance looks to him briefly. “It's fine. I trust him.”

Shiro nods and clears his throat before continuing. “The reason I'm calling is because I wanted to see if you'd be interested in coming back to Earth.”

“Earth?” Lance asks, confusion clear on his face where his eyebrows are drawn together. “For what?”

“I'm going to have a position open at the Garrison next semester that I'd like you to fill. A teaching position.”

“Oh,” Lance replies.

Keith is… stunned. Much like Lance clearly is in this moment. 

It's not that he doesn't think Lance would be a bad teacher. No, he thinks he'd be wonderful at it. He's shocked because Shiro is actually asking Lance to come back to Earth. Where Lance has not been since he left it all those years ago after… after they’d lost Allura.

Is that why Lance is shocked, too?

“I think you'd be great at it, Lance,” Shiro continues. “You’d be teaching second year students on the history of the war. Possibly advising if you're interested in that.”

“Shiro, I don't know…” Lance replies before biting his lip. 

Shiro hums thoughtfully, like he expected this answer. “How about this? I'll send you the contract and a sample syllabus. Read it over, talk to your family and anyone else whose opinion you value, mull it over, and then get back to me. Say, in two weeks?”

Lance nods. “Yeah, okay. But no promises, Shiro.”

As he laughs, Shiro holds a hand up. “That's okay. Just think about it, okay?”

Lance nods again, and all three say their goodbyes before hanging up. Then, Lance drops the phone on the couch like it weighs a ton and sighs.

Okay, going to let him process first.

So Keith stands up and heads to the bathroom to wash off his mask and brush his teeth. As he heads down the hall, he hears a whine from Kosmo before Lance starts murmuring to him.

When he's finished washing off the mask, Lance walks into the bathroom. They bump elbows as they go about their own tasks, but it's comforting. The routine seems to calm Lance enough as he looks less panicked and more contemplative. 

As they exit the bathroom, Keith finally asks, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Lance shrugs. “Yeah, but I don't know if we should do it now. I'm a little shocked.”

Keith nods. “I get it.” 

They flop back down on the couch, and Kosmo immediately crawls up next to Lance and places his head in Lance's lap. Lance runs his fingers through Kosmo's fur, and Keith feels warm all over as he's pretty sure his dog sensed how Lance was feeling and decided to comfort him.

“For what it's worth,” Keith finally says. “I think you'd be a great teacher, Lance.”

“Really?” Lance asks.

“Yeah, of course,” Keith replies immediately.

Lance still looks puzzled. “I just don't know. I haven't been back to Earth since… since I was dating Allura. Since… her memorial.”

Keith had a sneaking suspicion that Lance's hesitation was stemming from there and rightfully so.

“Well, are you going to stay away from Earth for forever?” Keith asks.

“Honestly? That was the plan.”

Keith is shocked. This is the man who so desperately missed Earth when they first left it that Keith had memorized the list. My mom, the beach, garlic knots, rain. Keith understands his reluctance, but he can't picture Lance never going back to the planet he so adored.

After clearing his throat, Keith says, “So, what? You were just going to stay on Altea or on Blade missions and never go back?”

“I don't see why not,” Lance replies. “It hurts too much to go back there and not have her.”

“Lance, that's ridiculous. Your family is there! Your home is there.”

“No, my home is on Altea.”

“That planet didn't even exist until a year ago!”

Lance stands, knocking Kosmo from his spot in Lance's lap.

“It doesn't matter if it didn't exist a year ago,” Lance says—no, shouts. “That's where my home is, Keith. She loved that planet. It's the least I can do.”

And now, Keith is standing.

“So, what? You're going to just stay on Altea and live in her memory? That's not living, Lance.”

“I owe it to her, Keith,” Lance says. “She sacrificed everything for us. For the whole universe. I can’t just…” He pauses and runs shaking hands through his hair. “I can’t just forget her.”

“There’s a difference between honoring her memory and not moving on.” Keith crosses his arms. “She wouldn’t want you to live like this, Lance. She’d want you to be happy.”

“Don’t tell me what she would want!”

And, as soon as he’s done speaking, Lance stomps toward the door of Keith’s room. 

“Lance! Where are you going?”

“To my room,” he replies as he opens the door. “I just… I need some space and time to think.”

Keith fidgets. He doesn’t want to let Lance go after they’ve been fighting, but he also knows he probably needs some space. 

“Alright,” Keith finally says. “But, Lance?”

Lance looks back at him from the doorway. “Yeah?”

“You know I only want what’s best for you?” Keith says. “Right?”

The anger in Lance’s face fades. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. I just need some space, okay?”

“Okay.”

The door makes a soft click as Lance closes it. Keith stands in his hallway for a long time, wondering if he just broke everything.

-oOo-

Keith hardly sleeps a wink all night, tossing and turning and replaying his fight with Lance over and over again. He finally gives up sleep in the early morning and heads to the training room to beat some bots up and hopefully get his head on straight before deciding what to do about Lance. Should he talk to him? Leave him alone? Call Hunk and get his advice? He slices through bot after bot before finally deciding to talk to Lance again. He takes a quick shower and heads to Lance’s room.

Outside the door, he takes a few deep breaths before knocking. “Lance?” he calls.

Nothing. He knocks and calls again.

Shit. Maybe he did break everything.

He knocks once more before just deciding to open the door.

“Lance?” he says. “You in here?”

As he walks into Lance's apartment, his stomach drops. Something's not right.

Lance's blanket is gone from the couch and his favorite mug is empty on the counter. The lights are off, and it's deathly silent. No running shower or humming or snores or anything.

Keith runs through the apartment, but there isn't a trace of Lance. 

“Maybe he's in the mess hall,” he thinks aloud as he heads toward the door.

And then, he sees it.

Folded on the coffee table is a slip of paper with Keith's name on it in Lance's messy scrawl.

“Oh no,” he whispers before rushing to grab it off the table. His hands shake just slightly as he unfolds the letter from Lance.

Keith,

I'm sorry to leave like this, especially after our fight last night. I want to say that I'm not mad at you. This isn't because of you. 

Keith, you've been so wonderful and patient with me since I… lost Allura. And even before that. I don't know what I did to deserve your friendship, but I hope you know I don't take it for granted. You've made me better, made me stronger.

And that's why I know I need to do this, and I need to do it alone. I think, part of me knows that what you said last night is true. I need to let Allura rest and open some new doors. 

So, I'm heading to Earth. I'm going to do a few things, and then I'm coming back to you.

I'm coming back to you.

See you soon, Mullet.

Lance

Keith slumps into the couch, all the emotion draining out of him in seconds. 

Lance is… gone. He just left after their fight, and Keith didn't even get a chance to apologize. Or convince him to let Keith go with him.

In a fit of anger, Keith wads the note up before unwrinkling it because he's always been weak to the Lance-shaped parts of his heart.

Keith can't remember the last time he felt so lost.

“Lance, where are you?” Shiro asked over the comms. “Can you hear me?”

Keith couldn't help but feel a pinprick of fear in his gut when Lance didn't come in immediately. He reasoned with himself that maybe Lance was just switching over to Red or something, anything to stave off the anxiety. But, deep down, Keith knew something had gone wrong.

And then, the screaming started.

Keith froze. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. 

It was okay if this war swallowed Keith whole. Hell, it was expected. It was what he'd signed up for. But Lance. Lance was different. If Keith survived this war and Lance didn't, there'd be nothing left of Keith except war and destruction.

Lance was too important.

“Lance!” Allura shouted.

Somewhere, hundreds of thousands of miles away, Lance was in danger . He'd screamed. He could be dying, and Keith couldn't help him. He tried to think if he could take out his zaiforge cannon and then race across to find Lance, but they didn't have time.

“Lance!” he yelled into the comms, willing and hoping and praying that Lance would answer, would have a silly excuse for why he'd screamed. 

The other three yelled, too, but Keith couldn't focus on them. He felt ripped into a million pieces.

“Lance!! Come in! Talk to me!” he yelled. If anyone noticed the crack in his voice, they didn't say anything.

He listened as Allura yelled and then Hunk and then Pidge. 

“Please, please let him be okay,” he whispered.

Keith hadn't ever been that terrified in his life, but then again, he didn't think he'd ever cared for someone as much as he did for Lance.

“Lance!? Lance, come in!” Keith yelled.

Did Red make it to him? He reached out to Red and begged him to listen, to help, but his connection with Keith was too faint. If Red wasn't there, Lance only had his bayard. 

Then, Lance's voice came over the comms. “Red Lion, checking in,” he said. He sounded winded.

“Lance!” Keith yelled as relief washed over him.

He was here. He was okay.

“Hey, man,” Lance said, just before they needed to start their attacks. “I always find my way back.”

Keith does what he's always done when he's felt lost and confused.

He calls Shiro.

“Keith!” Shiro exclaims. “I was just about to call you. I have a question about—”

“Shiro,” he rasps out, fighting back his breaking voice. 

“Keith? Keith, what's wrong?”

A sob wells up in Keith's throat. “He… he left.”

“Oh. Oh, Kid.”

Shiro lets him cry quietly for a few minutes, until Keith is collected.

“Where did he go?” Shiro asks.

Keith sniffles. “You know.”

Shiro sighs. “I figured this may happen.”

“I said some really stupid shit, Shiro. He… he said he would come back, but what if I pushed him too far this time?”

“Somehow, I doubt that,” Shiro says. “You said Lance said he would come back. I'm assuming you got that from him, right?”

Keith nods before remembering Shiro can't see him. “Yeah, he left a letter.”

“Then, he'll come back,” Shiro says, confident in the way that only Shiro can be. “You have to trust him.”

“I do trust him,” Keith replies, adamant. “Shiro, I… I think, I think—”

Shiro cuts him off. “Don't tell me. You need to tell him.”

Keith pauses. Shiro is right, but Keith just doesn't know if he can wait to tell Lance. 

“I know he needs to do this, but I wish he'd let me go with him.”

Shiro sighs. “Kiddo, you know this is something he has to do on his own. He'll be okay. He's tough.”

And Lance is tough. He's been left behind and lost and forgotten and pushed aside, and he still has this endless capacity to love. When Keith had lost his dad and Shiro, he thought he'd never let someone else in again. It just hurt too much.

That all changed the moment that blue-eyed sharpshooter crashed into his life.

Shiro cleared his throat, breaking Keith from his thoughts. “You'll see him before you know it, Keith. I promise.”

“Yeah, okay.”

-oOo-

Keith spends the next week in a haze. He suddenly feels lost without Lance beside him. His right hand man and best friend was here one day and gone the next. He finds himself wondering what Lance's plans would be for every situation that comes up and working too late without Lance to keep him in check.

“Keith, dear,” his mom says when she sits next to him one morning at breakfast. “When was the last time you got a full night of rest?”

Keith cuts his eyes at her. She knows damn good and well the last time he slept eight hours.

She sighs. “Well, work will keep you busy, but it won't make you happy.”

He hangs his head. “I know. I just need something to keep me going until… until…”

“You see him again,” she finishes.

He nods.

She brings her arm up to wrap around his shoulders, and he leans into her.

“Does it get easier?” he asks.

“I think you know the answer to that, dear,” she answers.

Yeah, he does. So, for the moment, he finds relief by his mom's side.

-oOo-

Lance has been gone for a week when a message comes through on Keith's graviphone.

Lance [15:01] >> I know I said I would come to you, but do you think you could come to me? I'd really like you here…

Keith replies within the next minute.

Keith [15:02] >> Of course. See you in a couple days.

Lance [15:03] >> Thank you.

After a quick talk with his mother and Kolivan, he's boarding a ship to Earth.

I'm coming, Lance.

Keith wanted to spend his last night on Earth watching a sunset that he wouldn't see the entire time he was gone.

His plans were all trashed the second Lance showed up in his… attire?

“Man,” Lance grunted as Keith gazed out into the horizon. “You can be a real hard guy to find when you wanna be.”

The clanking metal is what threw Keith off.

“Hey, Lance,” he said as he turned to face him. “Whoa!”

Lance was decked out in a cape and pots and pans and a ladle and… a thing of sausages?

“What are you wearing?” Keith asked.

Lance sighed heavily. “Coran made it for me for my date with Allura.” He sat down next to Keith, the pots and pans clanking against the metal of the Black Lion.

Keith's heart fell into his stomach. So, it was really happening. Lance and Allura were going to be… a thing.

He smiled for Lance, though. He could pick his feelings apart later. Right now, he had to be there for Lance. “A date with Allura?” he asked. “Wow! Well done, Lance.”

Keith hoped that could be the end of it, but it wasn't. As Lance took the stock pot off his head, he started fretting about if he was good enough for Allura and the Altean customs she needed as a princess.

He should have asked Lance to leave or something so that he wouldn't have to give Lance a pep talk about going on a date with someone who wasn't him. Then, he could have mourned what might have been alone with Kosmo while Lance figured it out for himself.

But Keith was never one to turn Lance away. Especially not when he looked as sad as he did.

“Listen,” he said. “If she's going out with you, it's because she likes you. The annoying, stupid, Earth version of you.”

And then… Lance laughed. Keith smiled. He'd done something right by Lance. For once.

“You watching the sun set?” Lance asked.

“Yeah,” he replied, looking away from Lance's face and out into the horizon again. “Might be awhile before we get to see it again.”

Lance sighed again, the cheeriness he'd had momentarily fading away again. “Man,” he said. “I'm really gonna miss this place.”

He knew Lance would. He'd miss all the things he'd just gotten back all over again. But he'd come back to them. Keith would make sure.

“That's why we gotta end this war,” he said. “And we’re gonna do it with the Lance that’s the Paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance that's always got my back. And the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he's got to offer.”

And then, on the Black Lion with the sun setting in front on them, Lance smiled at Keith. And for once, Keith felt like he'd said the right thing, the words that Lance needed to hear.

As the sun slowly dipped beyond the horizon, they sat in silence, content with just sharing each other's presence. 

Finally, Lance stood up again, his pots and pans clacking. “Thanks for this, Keith,” he said as he placed a hand on Keith's shoulder.

Keith wanted to beg Lance to stay with him, to tell him how much he cared about their sharpshooter, tell him how much he longed to wake up every day next to him.

But, instead, he said, “Anytime, man.”

He let Lance walk away with the pieces of his heart.

Lance doesn't tell Keith where he is, but somehow, he knows.

Keith lands the ship at the Garrison and herds Kosmo off. Shiro meets him at the end of the off ramp.

“Hey, Kiddo,” he says before enveloping him in a hug.

Keith squeezes him back hard, needing Shiro to steady him before he finds Lance.

“Missed you, Shiro,” he mumbles.

“Me, too,” Shiro replies. He steps back, but keeps his arms on Keith's shoulders. “Okay, give me Kosmo. You know where Lance is.” He nods towards the towering statue.

Keith leads Kosmo to Shiro before walking up the hill. 

After Allura died, the paladins erected a statue of Allura in her paladin armor on the crest of the hill that overlooked the Garrison. It was different from the statue on New Altea in the way that this Allura seemed more casual and less poised. The princess they remembered.

The princess Lance loved.

Lance had only seen it once before—for a small ceremony to honor her a year after she died. Keith suspected that Lance couldn't bear to see her so like the Allura he loved.

Keith had seen it a few more times than that, paying a visit every time he stopped into Earth to visit Shiro. A few months had passed since his last visit, and the field leading up to the monument is flourishing with juniberries.

Her favorite.

Once Keith crests the hill, he sees Lance, sitting in the field of pink flowers at the foot of the statue.

He's wearing jeans and the blue jacket that matches Keith's red one that they found at a swap on a planet. His brown hair blows in the wind, and as Keith gets closer, he sees Lance's eyes are closed. His skin is tan again from hours out in his garden and out doing mission work. His blue marks sparkle in the sun.

Lance looks…

Whole.

Keith doesn't say anything, but sits next to Lance, waiting patiently for him.

Like he's always done.

A few minutes pass before Lance's blue eyes open to meet Keith's gaze. He still doesn't say anything, but he reaches out to grab Keith's hand, lacing their fingers together. Then, he closes his eyes again and tilts his head back toward the statue, the sun shining on his face.

Keith squeezes his hand once before facing the statue as well.

Hey, Allura, he thinks. I miss you. Everyday. I hope you're happy wherever you are and can hear this. 

With his eyes, he traces the lines on the statue that make up her kind smile, her knowing eyes, her pointy nose.

I think, if you were here, you'd know why we are sitting here, talking to you. I'm going to tell him, Allura. And I think he's going to tell me the same thing. 

He swallows, suddenly nervous. 

I hope that's okay. 

Suddenly, a gust of wind sweeps through the field, rustling the juniberries and surrounding them with petals and the sweet, sweet smell of the beautiful flowers.

He smiles. I'll take that as a yes.

After that, he stays next to Lance and holds his hand and waits for Lance to finish saying whatever he needs to say to her.

He glances at the man next to him, and his heart beats steady and true with the feelings he has for Lance.

A half hour passes before Lance opens his eyes and turns to face Keith.

“Hi,” he says, his voice slightly hoarse from not talking much. He squeezes Keith's hand.

“Hi,” Keith replies. He smiles as he rubs his thumb along Lance's knuckles.

“Thanks for coming,” Lance says. “I hope it's okay that you came here instead of me coming to you.”

“Yes, Lance, it's perfectly okay.”

Lance smiles. Keith notices that the sun is starting to set behind Lance. 

Another sunset with Lance.

“Do you want to go somewhere with me?” Lance asks.

“I'll go anywhere with you, Lance,” Keith replies earnestly.

Lance's face flushes, but his marks grow ever brighter, giving away his contentment. 

Lance stands and pulls Keith up by his hand. They walk down the hill hand-in-hand. 

When they reach the Garrison, it's mostly deserted as people have gone home for the day or turned in for the night. They walk to the garage, and Lance goes into a little office before coming out with a set of keys.

“Let's go for a drive,” Lance says, swinging the keys around his finger as he walks toward a bright red hoverbike. 

He gets on, and Keith climbs up to sit behind him. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around Lance's waist.

“This is kinda like the last time we rode a hoverbike together,” Keith says.

“Yeah, but we're different people now,” Lance replies.

Keith just nods his head against Lance's shoulder blades as Lance spurs the bike to life.

“Hang on, Mullet,” Lance shouts over the roar of the engine.

“Always do,” he replies in Lance's ear.

Keith can imagine the smirk splitting across Lance's face as he kicks the bike into first gear and races out of the garage.

Once they get off Garrison property and into the desert, Lance takes off like a shot, hollering the whole time. He dives over cliffs and races across the plains and laughs and laughs and laughs.

Keith just tucks his face against Lance's back and smiles, taken back all those years ago to the first time he rode through this desert on a bike with Lance. Keith is reminded of the fact that Lance is still that same boy he fell in love with all those years ago.

After twenty minutes, Lance finally slows and heads back to the Garrison. Instead of heading toward the garage, he goes behind the Garrison to a cliff that is intimately familiar to Keith. Even the setting is strikingly similar, with the sun falling into the horizon and lighting up the sky with oranges and reds and pinks.

Lance brings the bike to a halt and turns it off before turning on the seat to face Keith.

“Is this okay?” Lance asks.

Keith nods and swings his leg over the seat to sit next to Lance, hip flush against hip. “It's perfect,” he replies.

Lance smiles.

They face the sun as it slowly sets, and Lance rests his head on Keith's shoulder.

“I told Shiro I would take the job,” Lance says.

Keith nods, unsurprised by Lance's decision and… incredibly proud of Lance. “Guess that means I'm out my right hand man again.”

“Well,” Lance says, standing and facing Keith who stays seated on the bike. He twists his hands together, and it’s the only indication that he’s nervous. “I was thinking…”

“About?”

“Shiro said he had another position open,” Lance replies. “I think he wants to give it to you.”

“But he wanted to see what you said first,” Keith guesses.

Lance nods. “It's a part-time job for a flight instructor, only offered during the spring semester. You could teach during the spring and spend the rest of the time checking in with the Blade and doing missions and stuff.”

“What about you? And the garden?” Keith asks.

“Coran is taking care of that garden and enjoying it. We could start one here, too,” Lance says. “As for me, I could be a full-time teacher and advisor in the spring and fall, and then… go with you and the Blade on my breaks. Or stay on Altea and check in with Coran.”

Keith thinks for a minute. It may take some negotiating with his mom and Kolivan and the rest of the Blade, but he could probably do it. 

“We can talk to my mom,” he finally answers. 

Lance's marks light up as do his eyes. “Really? You'd teach? You'd stay here?”

Keith nods, growing surer as the moments pass. “Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“Oh, Keith,” Lance whispers before throwing himself at Keith. He squeezes him tight, tight, tight before pulling away. He keeps his arms wrapped around Keith’s neck. “This is going to be great. We can teach and do mission work and be gardeners.”

Keith laughs. “You've got big plans, Sharpshooter.”

Lance nods. “I do.” He pauses for a moment and breaks away from Keith. He walks toward the edge of the cliff overlooking the Garrison and motions back. “Let’s sit.”

As he’s always done, Keith follows. He sits next to Lance and watches the sun dip farther and farther into the horizon. They’ve got maybe a half hour of daylight left.

Beside him, Lance reaches for Keith’s hand and clears his throat. He looks over at Keith, blue eyes meeting purple.

“Keith, I feel like my path was always pointed at you,” Lance says. His eyes bore into Keith's and his marks shine bright and true. “From that moment that I chased you across the desert to this moment, right here right now. I was always pulled to you, and even when I wasn't gravitating towards you, I felt like I should be.

“And then… Then, Allura happened.”

Keith nods, scared this is going to be the moment Lance rips the band aid off despite the sureness exuding from his heart. I'm sorry, Keith, but I still love her and I always will. 

“And you were there when I needed you, when I didn't even know how to ask ,” Lance continues, his blue eyes filling with tears. “That was when I knew, you know. I'd thought for so long that I'd spent all this time chasing you when you didn't even want to give me the time of day.”

“Lance,” Keith gasps out, gutted at the very idea. “I could never —”

“I know that now,” Lance says, laughing wetly. “How could I not? Keith, you believe in me and support me and push me, even when I can't do the same thing for myself.”

Lance squeezes his hand, tight tight tight. “I can't even begin to tell you what that meant to me… but I want to spend every day of my life trying to explain it to you and be that man and…”

Lance trails off. 

This is the moment it all changes.

Keith breathes deeply. He wants to memorize it all. The way the setting sun makes Lance look ethereal. How fast his heart is racing. The way Lance is smiling at him in the moment, so soft, so sure.

Lance clears his throat. “I want to love you everyday like you’ve loved me.”

Keith pulls a hand out of Lance's and reaches for his cheek. He cups Lance's cheekbone as carefully as he can, and Lance leans into it, presses a kiss to Keith's palm.

“So can I?” Lance asks. “Can I make you feel as loved as you've made me feel?”

“Oh, Lance,” Keith sighs. “You already do.”

The unshed tears in Lance’s eyes spill over, and Keith is lost, lost, lost in the darkest shade of blue. Lance laughs, wet and happy, before leaning his forehead against Keith’s.

“Keith,” he says, brokenly. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Keith laughs. “I love you too, Lance. So much.” He reaches up and wipes the tears from Lance’s cheeks, rubs his thumb along Lance’s cheek.

“I know,” Lance says. “How could I not?”

They breathe together. It’s taken years and wars and fights and heartbreak and successes and time, but they’ve made it here. To this moment. Where they can just exist. Together.

Keith breaks the silence. “Lance,” he asks. “Can I kiss you?”

Lance nods once. “I thought you’d never ask.”

As the sun finally disappears into the horizon, Keith brings both hands to cup Lance’s cheeks. Lance grips the collar of Keith’s jacket before his eyes flutter shut, and Keith leans forward, closing his eyes right before his lips meet Lance’s. 

Their first kiss is soft. Sweet. Full of love. A press of lips together before Lance opens his lips and the kiss deepens. Keith barely keeps himself from breaking out into a grin.

It’s perfect.

Keith kisses him over and over and over again, moving to his eyes and nose and cheeks and glittering marks under his eyes. Lance sneaks in a few of his own, kissing the edge of Keith’s scar and his nose and eyelids.

Lance finally breaks away, but leans his forehead against Keith’s. “I’m so glad I made it to here, with you,” he says.

“Me, too,” Keith replies. “Me, too.”

Three Years Later

“Professor Kogane?”

Keith looks up from the simulation video he's watching.

Standing in his doorway is Maria Hernandez, a first-year student who is currently enrolled in Keith's morning simulation class. She's twisting a lock of dark hair around a finger, clearly nervous.

“Hey, Maria,” he replies. “Can I help you with something?”

She swallows. “Yes, Professor McClain is looking for you. He said he's got a bone to pick with you? And it's urgent? Something about markers?”

Keith barely stops himself from rolling his eyes. Barely.

“Thanks for passing the message along,” he replies. “I'll go find him.”

She nods before she gives a small wave and turns out of his office. Keith sighs after she leaves and digs out his graviphone.

Keith [13:43] >> You and your antics are making the first-years think we hate each other.

Lance [13:44] >> That's my plan. Mwahaha

Lance [13:44] >> Also, I really do hate you right now. You stole that new pack of markers that I bought this weekend.

Keith smiles. They may have different names for each other now, but they're still Lance and Keith, neck and neck.

Keith [13:45] >> My love, how can I make it up to you?

Lance [13:45] >> Sweet talk will get you NOWHERE.

Lance [13:46] >> However, coffee… Coffee will get you EVERYWHERE.

Keith [13:47] >> It's almost 2 pm. If you have coffee now, you'll never sleep.

Lance [13:48] >> :(

Lance [13:48] >> You said you loved me!

Keith [13:49] >> I'll bring you a cookie.

Lance [13:50] >> :)

Guess that means they're done for the day then. Keith shakes his head before loading some videos onto his tablet so he can maybe get some grading done once they get home. He packs his bag up, turns off his computer and light, and walks out of his office, locking the door behind him.

He makes a beeline for the kitchen and begs half a dozen cookies off Hunk.

“Tell Lance he's going to owe me a crate of tomatoes at this rate,” Hunk says as he boxes up the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. “You know none of the suppliers I get grow them as well as you two.”

Keith laughs. “I'll see what I can do.”

Hunk nods and hands the box to Keith, who heads towards the door.

“Remind him about game night on Friday! You know he'll forget.”

“You got it,” Keith yells as he opens the door. “See you, Hunk!”

He heads down the hall to the history wing to pick up Lance. When he reaches his door, he peeks inside.

Lance is sitting at his desk, one hand resting on his forehead and pushing his bangs up and the other holding a pen to his mouth so he can chew on the cap. His eyes are narrowed as he reads an essay from the tests he knows Lance's students had today.

He's the picture of concentration and also everything Keith has ever loved in his life.

He raps twice on the door. 

Lance's head pops up, and the concentration melts off Lance's face.

“Babe!” he exclaims before getting up from his desk to race around and hug him tight. He presses a long kiss to Keith's lips.

“Missed you,” Lance mumbles against his lips before pulling back. He reaches up and plays with the ring on the chain around Keith’s neck.

Keith smiles. They had lunch together, and Lance still missed him. His whole body warms with affection. 

He hands the box of cookies to Lance. “Hunk says you owe him tomatoes and also don't forget game night on Friday.”

Lance shakes his head as he opens the box and pulls out a cookie. “One time!” he grumbles. “I forgot one time!”

Keith chuckles as Lance breaks the cookie in half and hands one half to Keith. Lance eats half of his part in one bite. 

“When we get home,” Lance says around a mouth full of chocolate and peanut butter, “We can pick tomatoes for Hunk. Let Kosmo run around and chase squirrels or whatever.” He pops the rest of the cookie in his mouth.

“Yeah, maybe grab something for dinner, too,” Keith replies.

Lance walks around the side of his desk and starts picking up essays. “Cool. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you at the truck.”

Keith leans across the desk and kisses Lance on the cheek before leaving Lance’s office and heading towards the parking lot.

On the way home, Lance chats excitedly about the tests he’d been grading and how well his students are doing. Keith nods along and holds Lance’s hand on the gear shift, running his thumb over his knuckles and the gold band nestled on his ring finger.

When they get home, they spend 20 minutes petting Kosmo and showering him in affection before they change into their garden clothes. Keith pulls his hair back into a ponytail and slides his ring off the chain and onto his finger now that’s he home and not running the flight simulator. Lance comes up behind him, pushes his hair off the nape of his neck, and presses a sweet kiss there.

“I love when you pull your hair back,” Lance whispers.

“Remember when you used to make fun of me for having a mullet,” Keith replies, smirking.

“You shut your quiznak. I was young and dumb,” Lance says, aghast.

Keith just laughs. He laces his fingers through Lance’s and pulls him outside, where they head towards the backyard.

In the two years it’s been since they finished building this house, they’ve managed to plant a garden that surpasses the one Lance started on Altea. During the summer, they have sweet potatoes and green bean-like sprouts from Altea and corn-like vegetables from Daibazaal and Hunk’s beloved tomatoes and of course, juniberries. Lance even got his chickens and brought Kaltenecker from his family’s place.

When Keith used to imagine his life as a kid, he never saw a future of being a pseudo-farmer, but with Lance, Keith’s learned that life is often unexpected but always wonderful.

They split up and walk down the rows of tomatoes, picking out ripe and almost ripe ones so Hunk will have some for a few days. Within 30 minutes, they have enough for a crate. After picking some vegetables and grabbing eggs for dinner, they bring it all inside.

“Are you starving?” Lance asks.

“No, why?”

Lance bites his lip. The years have been kind to Lance. He’s grown taller to be about the same height as Keith. He’s broader in the face now with a strong jaw, but still held onto his lanky body courtesy of his regular runs. He shaved the sides of his head in favor of having an undercut instead. His blue Altean marks have stayed, but the crow’s feet and laughter lines that decorate his face are also a tapestry of the life he’s had. Dirt is smeared on his cheek and he’s a bit sweaty, but his marks glitter. “Wanna sit on the porch for a bit?”

Keith smiles. “Always.”

Lance heads outside to the back porch, and Keith pours them each a glass of lemonade. When he walks outside, Keith finds Lance sitting on the back steps, scratching behind Kosmo’s ears.

For just a moment, Keith is once again hit with the overwhelming love he has for the man sitting before him. He goes to sit next to him, dropping a kiss on the top of his head before he sits down. Once he’s settled, Lance leans into his side before taking a glass from Keith.

“Thanks,” Lance whispers, placing a sweet kiss on Keith’s shoulder.

Keith laces their hands together as he watches the sun dip below the horizon. He loves sunsets with Lance. He may have lost Lance during a sunset at one time, but he also kissed Lance for the first time and Lance proposed to him and they got married during a sunset. And honestly, they made it here, to this house and this garden that they share to watch sunsets every night together. Every bump and loss and heartache just made this moment that much sweeter.

“Did you ever think we’d get here?” Keith asks as the sun paints the sky a vibrant shade of pink.

Lance hums in thought. “I think, that the minute I chased you across the desert, some part of me knew we’d end up here,” he finally says.

Keith nods but doesn’t say anymore. Lance knows. 

So together, they watch the sun sink into the horizon.